#but preferably on an spn reboot rather than the winchesters spin-off

[pray4jensen]

if there's ever a season 2 of the winchesters, i need an episode where lata decides to summon dean and his magical monster-crushing impala and cas shows up too because apparently when the summoning happened, cas must've been gripping dean tight because he got flung through time and space too.

so the kids are like hey who's this, and dean rubs the back of his neck and says it's a friend.

so they're on the case and they're mid-battle when john's thrown straight through a chain-link fence and mary gets a nice face-to-face with a concrete pillar. so when they finally get out of there, lata brings out the first aid kit, except dean grabs it and rushes over to cas because cas just fell onto paper at that very moment and he's got a devastating 1/8 inch cut to his pinky (it's not even bleeding).

cue carlos looking at them with a very strange expression on his face and the heteronormative viewers watching the show laugh and giggle because haha look how funny it is that dean's mother-henning cas when john and mary are personally on their death beds.

anyway, because the rest of the gang was too busy dealing with life-threatening injuries, it's only carlos who notices the weirdness and for the rest of the episode, the camera keeps cutting back to his face every time dean and cas are together.

they head to a diner and lata accidentally drops her entire burger onto the floor. but cas still feels hungry after devouring a platter of fries so when the waitress comes up and lata's about to reorder because she's literally starving, dean butts in and orders cas an eight-course meal. lata throws him a dirty look but carlos once again has a strange strange expression on his face.

and it's like this the entire day. the monster traps them into a meat locker and cas reports feeling chilly so dean immediately takes the jacket off his body and wraps him up and he's already stripping down to his birthday suit to offer cas his body heat. meanwhile john's hemorrhaging on the floor and his temperature is plummeting and mary and lata are freaking out and carlos...oh boy, carlos. he can't even help. he just stares at dean.

finally, after several more instances of dean's cas-induced incompetence, even the others have noticed, so when they get to the motel room for the night, mary angrily lets them know that actually, they don't need dean's help because clearly dean's more preoccupied with his friendship with cas than the literal monster chasing them.

so dean shrugs and says suit yourself and as soon as they're gone, carlos, who's been having a mental breakdown all day, is like they are so not just friends. mary and john, like the heteronormative viewers watching the episode, are like what and they're confused but lata, the realization dawning on her face, says oh my god and starts looking faint.

so john and mary head to the window and to their shock, dean and cas are parked outside, making out in the impala. as it so happens, the monster they've been hunting is out there, creeping closer, except dean (with his tongue still shoved down cas' throat) picks up his gun and shoots once, the monster instantly bursting into a ball of dust, and john and mary just look on incredulously.

anyway, once they recover, they turn back and say um yeah so those two are definitely not straight and carlos just throws up his hands and looks into the camera like it's the office and the episode abruptly ends there.

but, even as the end credits play, you can see still hear the sounds of dean and cas making out though before it slowly turns into suggestive moaning.