#but please detect my vibes and go the fuck away

[clenastia]

my least fucking favorite thing is absolutely rank smelling people sitting at the table next to mine in a cafe.

in this case a fucking smoker.

like i understand as someone extremely prone to scent-based sensory overload (can't focus, building nausea, if i dont get away from the smell soon enough migraines) that like. it's a part of life. You can't reasonably avoid ALL strong smells, nor can you be reasonably accommodated for that.

Especially when it's not just bad smells like sweat and cigarettes but even 'good' smells like perfume and cologne or even like. febreeze shit. If the smell is strong it WILL fuck me up and expecting the whole world to cater to that... disability? of mine? like using disability feels wrong but also i literally get migraines so maybe that's just my anxiety of being perceived as In The Wrong acting up but like.

Logically the whole world can't cater to that for me.

But also. Please. There are open tables elsewhere. Please. Sit fucking anywhere else. I can't handle this.

I'd move myself but there is only one table in this entire cafe that has an electric socket and my computer dies if I don't keep it plugged in so I don't have any other options unless I go to a different cafe.... :(

[storiesofsvu]

Fake it til You Make It

Elizabeth Donnelly x reader warnings: language, sass, smut mentioned? covers the 5+1 trope for @prentiss-theorem s bingo!

The Dilemma.

“Heard you took a plea on the Harrison case.” Liz’s sentence was spoken as she sauntered into your office, perching on the side of your desk as you finished scribbling something on the work in front of you.

“Hey now, I drove Buchanan up from the original offer before I accepted.”

“Good girl.” She praised with a wink and you laughed, “Kristen took the other SVU case, correct?”

“Yeah.” You let out a happy sigh, flipping the folder shut and leaning back in your chair.

“Means you’ve got time for an extended lunch then?”

“Only if you’re buying.” You grinned up at her and she scoffed, swatting at your shoulder while she stood from the desk.

“You want your fall bonus or not?” She teased and you rolled your eyes as you grabbed your blazer.

“Fine. I’ll pay. But it’s on you next time.”

“Seems fair.”  Liz shot you a playful smile as you scooped up you bag and followed her out of your office.

Since transferring into SVU you’d had a great relationship with Liz, even if she had been terribly intimidating for the first couple of months. Once you’d proved that you could hold your own against the detectives, that you were a whiz in the courtroom and happened to actually play by the rules, you’d shifted into her good books. Into the books that meant she liked you, that you were someone to be watched because she knew you’d go places. She took you under her wing like she did with a lot of previous A.D.A’s, her office becoming the automatic place that you went when you needed a sounding board, when you got stuck with a case, or couldn’t remember which law journal you saw a specific note in. There were evenings she’d be on her way out of the building only to find you still working away in your office and she’d bribe you out of there with the promise of dinner and drinks, first they were at local lounges, then they upgraded to her Brownstone, where she kept the good scotch.

Nights, lunches and coffee breaks that started out shooting the shit about work, spit balling court strategies based on the defence and presiding judge with Liz as your mentor shifted into ones about office gossip, the little whisperings in the hallways that everyone thought Liz didn’t hear. Then they became a way to escape work for an hour, you learnt about her past, her personal life and she heard stories about your family, friends, days back at law school. You became friends, and you took that with a large badge of honour, Liz was someone you looked up to, someone that you very much valued her opinion of you, having her call you an actual friend was the highlight of your month. She didn’t dole out that label very willingly.

It was on your slow walk back to the office from lunch that day that you paused in your words, stalling in your step as something caught your eye in the window of a shopping mall. Liz barely caught it in time to turn back, grinning at the way you tugged your lip into your mouth as you stared at the dress.

“See something you like?”

“It’s cute…” you muttered, “but I think it’s a little too fancy.”

“Hot date?” She asked and you snorted.

“Liz please, I just spent twenty minutes complaining about Tinder.” You laughed, “my sister’s engagement party is next weekend. I think the vibes are somewhere between brunch with the girlies and garden party, this could work for the wedding though….” Your head tilted for a moment and then you threw you head back and let out a groan, “fuck I hate this.”

“Weddings?”

“More so that it’s my younger sister, my much younger sister. Who has been obsessed with her wedding since she was like, six so you know it’s gonna be a huge, all out affair, no holding back on anything or any expense. I had high hopes for that last Tinder girl so all the invites I replied with a plus one and now I’ll have to suffer through it on my own. Better get ready for a million comments about how it’s lucky I’m a spinster cause there’ll be no money left for my wedding after this.”

“Oh come on.” Liz barked out a laugh, “you know a plus one doesn’t have to be a date, right? You can bring a friend. You said next weekend? Saturday or Sunday?”

“Saturday at four.” You sighed, turning away from the store and falling back into step beside her.

“Well then I guess you’re lucky Lena and I play poker on Sundays.”

“Wait..” Your head shot up to look at her, “you’ll come with me?”

“Sure, why not.” She smiled, linking her elbow with yours, “you said no expense spared and to me that sounds like an open bar and a lot of free food, who am I to say no to that and family drama?”

“Have I told you recently that you’re my favourite boss?”

“You don’t have to.” She grinned, “I already know everything.”

**

The Misunderstanding.

When Saturday rolled around you and Liz were pulling up to the Equinox Hotel at exactly four forty five. Early enough you wouldn’t be scolded for being tardy yet late enough that the rooftop terrace would be swimming with people who could distract your parents now that the party was in full swing. The terrace boasted incredible views of the Hudson River along with the rest of New York, a very well stocked bar, roaming cater waiters with various trays of food and a long table of hot food.

You were able to get to the bar without being noticed, both of you quickly downing a shot of maple whiskey, thanking the bartender for your cocktails before turning to the crowd. Liz’s eyes moved through the crowd, wondering if she was going to run into anyone she knew before she spotted her.

“Incoming.” She nodded over your shoulder, “white sundress, I’m assuming your sister. What was her name again, Jennifer?”

“Jessica.” You muttered and she chuckled at the way you chugged back half your cocktail before Jess was squealing in your ear, wrapping you in half a hug.

“Hiiii! I’m so happy you came!”

“Oh come on, you’re my sister, I wouldn’t miss it.” Smiling, you pressed a kiss to her cheek, “you look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” She beamed, squeezing at your hand, “love your dress, is it new?”

“Yeah, picked it up last week.”

“Cuuuute.” Grinning she then turned to the woman beside you, “who’d you bring?”

“Jess, this is Liz, Liz, Jess.” You gestured between them, watching as they shook hands and said hello.

“Pleasure.” Liz smiled.

“It’s so nice to meet you, y/n never brings anyone to holidays.” Jess giggled, “and I love those earrings, are they Mejuri?”

Liz’s head tilted, a small grin on her lips, “she know her brands and she’s got taste.” Her eyes flicked down to her wrist, “Chopard can do no wrong when it comes to their bracelets.”

“Isn’t it stunning?” She lifted her arm up, her eyes wide, “it was a gift from Colin for tonight.” She let out another giggle, her smile getting even larger if that was possible.

“There you are!” A voice called out and your head shot up to see your parents and Colin making their way over to the small group, “I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.” Your mother clicked her tongue and you let your sigh take form into a smile but before you could speak, Jess was turning around with a gasp. There were so many voices jumping back and fourth as they approached you nearly missed what came out of her mouth next, taking a second for your brain to register it.

“Mom! Come meet y/n’s girlfriend!”

Your eyes flashed wide and you barely had time to glance up to Liz before Colin let out a laugh,

“Girlfriend or sugar mommy?”

“Colin!” Jess hissed, slapping him on the arm.

“Don’t be rude.” Your mother scolded.

“She’s not—” You tried to interject but your father’s hand squeezed your shoulder.

“Sweetheart, we don’t care how you live your life as long as your happy and healthy.”

“Dad!” You tried again but suddenly Liz was squeezing at your hand gently, having completely slipped into the role of fake girlfriend as she stepped closer to you, smiling at your parents.

“I assure you; your daughter is very well taken care of with no need for anything like that. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much already.”

“And to think we haven’t.” Your mother nearly frowned in your direction, “girl certainly likes to keep her secrets. Call me Paula.” She extended her hand,

“Elizabeth.”

“Daniel.” Your dad’s turn was next, firmly shaking Liz’s hand, “how long have the two of you been together?”

“Oh, a few months give or take.” She replied with a small laugh, “you know how it is, sometimes these things are hard to put a solid date on, but we’re happy, and that’s all that really matters.” Her hand slid back into yours, giving it a soft squeeze as she grinned over at you.

“Do I dare ask how you met?” Paula asked, wincing, “because if Colin was right, you can just say a dating app or something.”

“Mom!” You nearly choked on your drink, feeling the heat creeping into your cheeks.

“No, not at all.” Elizabeth laughed, “we work together. And your daughter is one of the brightest and best lawyers we have, she’s got an incredible future ahead of her.” This time you were sure your cheeks were tinged pink, hearing Liz tell you how good of a job you did on a case always made you more proud of yourself, like you were impressing your favourite teacher in school, you knew you were on the right track.

“Well after that Ivy league education I sure hope so.” Daniel commented, glancing to you, “would hate for that to go to waste. I was beginning to think you were so married to the job you’d never find anyone.”

“Wow.” You muttered and Liz chuckled.

“Well it certainly helps being in the same field. We both know how many hours you have to clock if you want to be successful. That you’re not always going to get the time for those fancy dinner dates by candlelight, sometimes its takeout surrounded by case files in a dim lit office. Isn’t that right darling?”

“Date night is date night.” You shrugged, leaning into her embrace, “doesn’t matter where it is, we’ve gotten the balance figured out perfectly.”

“I’m so glad you’ve finally found someone.” Paula beamed.

“Mom!” Jess interjected, grabbing her hand, “Auntie Carol just got here!”

“Alright, alright.” She laughed, swatting her away before turning back to Liz, “can’t wait to see you at the wedding, we’ll have so much more time to chat. It was wonderful meeting you.”

“You too.”

Quick waves and smiles were shot through the group before your sister was dragging them off elsewhere. Letting out a quiet groan you turned back to the bar, sucking back the rest of your drink.

“I am so sorry.” You muttered.

“It’s alright.” Liz chuckled, flagging down the bartender to get you a refill before her arm loosely wrapped around your waist and she leant in, her lips nearly brushing against your temple when she spoke, “parents love me. Now relax, drink,” she slid the refilled glass into your hands, “enjoy the party with your so called girlfriend.”

Your head tilted to look up at her as your eyes narrowed, replaying the last few minutes in your brain, “you’ve done this before…”

“I need entertainment in my life somehow.” She shrugged and you laughed.

“Are you serious?”

“Why not?” She smiled back at you, “sometimes someone just wants a plus one, sometimes it’s the whole fake girlfriend thing to piss off the family or get them off your case about being single. As long as they’re a friend I really don’t mind. I enjoy getting out of the house and it’s the closest I’m going to get to a date now, I’m divorced and remarried to my job. The only time I have is for a one night event to play pretend.”

“You really are good with parents.”

“That one can be a little trickier,” she commented, sucking back on her drink, “sometimes they freak out over same sex or the age gap, you’ve got supportive ones.”

“I think it’s just gotten to the point where all they care about is that I don’t get eaten by my plethora of cats when I die alone.”

“Do you even have a cat?”

“No. I don’t even like them.”

“Then they’ve got nothing to worry about.” She smirked, “you’ll just stink up your apartment for a week until your downstairs neighbour makes a complaint.”

“Wow,” you burst out a laugh, “thanks.”

“C’mon.” She pinched at your elbow, nodding toward the buffet, “let’s get some food before all the good stuff is gone.”

**

The One with Tequila.

Night clubs were not your thing.

They hadn’t been your thing fifteen years ago when you were much more in your partying era, so they certainly weren’t your thing now that you’d matured. You preferred nights at quiet pubs or dive bars where it was acceptable to wear leggings and an oversized hoodie, even better, you preferred nights in on your couch where you had absolutely no one to impress and you could control the volume. Squeezing yourself into a tiny dress after spending half an hour on your hair and make up just didn’t seem worth it, even if there was bottle service.

You’d been genuinely surprised when Liz said she would come with you, expecting her to tap out of the more wild nights leading up to the big event, but she was there by your side in the limo, and didn’t shy away from sliding into the booth beside you once you were at the club. The bass of the music thumped through the room, coloured lights flashing on the dance floor, there was no choice but to yell over the music while your sister dolled out tequila shots. Even sitting directly next to each other you struggled to hear the other person, causing you to lean right into Liz, your lips nearly brushing the shell of her ear when you spoke. She braced herself when she leant into you, hand softly squeezing your thigh as she spoke and she didn’t bother to remove it after, her thumb brushing against your bare skin.

She laughed along with the jokes and innuendos thrown around the table, indulged in more than a few shots with the group and even shared a few of her own stories. Some of which left you wondering if they actually happened of if she was just that good at making things up. You were disappointed when she was in full support of Jess dragging you out onto the dance floor, shooting daggers at her as you disappeared into the crowd and she was left laughing at the table. She watched with a grin as you loosened up, letting the liquor flow through your veins, dancing alongside your sister and some of her friends. If she was to be completely honest, she really liked getting to see this other side of you, to know for sure that you let your hair down once in a while and weren’t completely consumed by work.

Neither of you had any concept of how long you were out dancing, but Liz knew she had finished another drink and a half by the time the rest of the group returned to the table. You collapsed down next to her with a laugh, reaching for your drink so you could guzzle it down, trying to combat how out of breath you were. Her hand found yours on the table top, fingers interlacing with yours,

“Wasn’t so bad, was it?” She teased, pressing a feather light kiss to your heated cheek and you giggled softly.

“Okay maybe it was kinda fun.”

“See?” With a grin she slid a shot glass toward you and you laughed once more, clinking the glass with her own before you threw back the shots.

“Okay!” Jess’s arm flailed over the table top, smacking at your hand, “now that mom and dad aren’t here, can you fucking tell us the truth?”

“About what?” You asked with a laugh.

“Is she—” she glanced from Liz to you and then turned fully to Liz, “are you her sugar mommy?”

“Jess!” You shrieked, “no!”

“No.” Liz chuckled, sipping at her own drink.

“I so don’t fucking believe you.”

“Why not?!” You asked with a bark of a laugh.

“Uh… she’s older than you, she’s clearly got money and taste, she’s paying your tab tonight, there’s a vibe that she’s the dominant one.”

“Jessica!” Your eyes widened in shock, “she’s my boss! That’s where that ‘vibe’ is coming from.”

“Darling I don’t think you’re helping the matter.” Liz squeezed at your hand with a chuckle before turning to her, “I can choose to spoil my girlfriend where and whenever, tonight seemed like a good opportunity.”

“Lies.” Jess’s eyes narrowed as she stared across at the two of you, “you have way too many sugar mommy vibes.”

Liz laughed, playfully shaking her head, “believe what you want, I guess.”

Luckily for you, a new song came on that made Jess let out a shriek and completely forget about the topic at hand, racing back out onto the dance floor with her friends. Liz squeezed at your wrist, sliding another shot toward you that you thanked her for, swiftly taking it before swallowing and pulling a face.

“I’m drunk.” You stated and she laughed.

“Yes you most certainly are.”

“Sorry.” You grimaced, suddenly realizing you were more intoxicated than you’d meant to get, especially being around your boss.

“No need.” She laughed, “this is the drunkest I’ve been in ages.” She reassured you with a squeeze to your hand and your moment of worry was completely gone from your brain.

“I want pizza.”

“There’s a place around the corner, c’mon.” She tugged you from the booth, the idea of hot greasy food now the only one on her mind, “let’s get out of here before they notice.”

You were incredibly thankful fifteen minutes later when you were leaving the pizza shop with fresh slices, a bottle of water tucked away in your purse, Liz’s arm slipped through yours as the two of you laughed your way through the New York streets. Truly, both of you had a pretty good time tonight, it was something neither of you would have done voluntarily, so drastically different from how you’d spend a Saturday night and that was always a nice break from life.

“I cannot believe Jess is convinced you’re a sugar mommy.” You mumbled over a bite of pizza.

“I’m just shocked your dad was so quick to accept it, he didn’t even seem surprised. Most parents get even the inkling of that type of dynamic and they lose it, thinking there’s some kind of taking advantage going on. Or their upset because they equate it to some form of prostitution, that their kid should be working for money in a real career path.”

You slowed in your steps as your head turned up to look at Liz, your brow furrowing as you took another bite of pizza.

“What?” She asked with a laugh.

“Have… you actually done that before?” You asked and Liz smirked, the lowered inhibitions thanks to the tequila letting her reveal more than she would have on another day.

“Oh come on.” She chuckled, “Casey’s wardrobe was in desperate need of an overhaul and she was raised so strictly catholic she barely understood sexuality, much less her own. I figured why not help her out with both?”

“I knew it!!” You shrieked, fully stopping in your tracks as you turned to face her on the sidewalk, “oh I absolutely knew it! But I was so fucking confused! I thought I was going crazy cause you’d only ever mentioned your ex husband.”

“Just because I married a man once doesn’t mean I’ll do it again.” She grinned, “I didn’t think I was that secretive about it, you should have caught onto at least some hints.”

“I mean I kinda did.” You laughed, “especially when it came to Casey…”

“Oh come on, we weren’t that obvious.”

“Oh, no, of course not.” You smirked, “aside from the constant eye fucking in the courthouse halls.”

“We were not that bad!” She objected, smacking your arm with a playful frown.

“Sure.” You laughed, slipping your arm back into hers as you fell into step beside her again, “just keep telling yourself that.”

Liz walked you home that night, making sure you were safely behind locked doors and promising to drink some water before bed before she flagged down a cab. Upstairs you found yourself replaying moments from the night, interactions between the two of you, stories she’d told you that all were shone in a different light now that your speculations were confirmed true. Maybe there really was a lot you didn’t actually know about when it came to Elizabeth Donnelly.

**

Caught up in the Clouds.

Weddings had never been events that caught your eye. You thought they were overpriced, overhyped, heteronormative celebrations filled with too many relatives and old friends who hadn’t seen each other in years. Emotions were high, stress levels to make sure everything was perfect were through the roof and alcohol only exaggerated every single little issue.

Yet somehow you’d forgotten all of those issues as you sat in a church pew beside Liz, her fingers tangled with yours while her thumb soothed over the back of your hand. There was nothing but love and adoration flowing through the air, winding its way through the crowd of guests before wrapping the happy couple up in a perfect little bow. You had no idea that Jess and Colin were such hopeless romantics, their personally written vows bringing a misting into your eyes. And when a tear finally managed to escape the corner of your eye before you could even think about it, Liz caught it, gently wiping it away with a warm smile. You let out a breath of a laugh, your cheeks heating as you felt a little silly for tearing up at a wedding, a warmth blooming in your chest as Liz returned the small laugh, squeezing at your hand before both of you returned your gazes to the alter.

Cocktail hour got everything moving, people up out of their chairs, flitting around the room as they reconnected with friends they hadn’t seen in ages or got introduced to new ones. Liz never once left your side, her arm securely wrapped around your waist, making sure your champagne flute was never once empty and you always had her backup when trapped with relatives. She was introduced to multiple family members and friends and you swore each time she had some new, horribly romantic story about how the two of you had started dating, who asked who out, your first date, a very over the top story about a candlelit trail in Central Park, surrounded by roses the first time you exchanged I love you’s. With each anecdote (and each glass of bubbly) you could have sworn she was looking at you with more adoration than the last, and that you were returning it, happily nuzzling into her shoulder, feeling her lips press to the top of your head.

You were thankful when dinner was finally announced and you were guided to your seats, food taking focus before all attention was back on the newlyweds. The two of you had been playing into things so well, surrounded by the looming feeling of love, happiness and forever that things simply felt natural, they felt right. Everyone in the room thought you were a couple, there was no reason to not play into that. Liz’s hand gently playing with the baby hairs at the back of your neck while you listened to speeches, your hand resting on her thigh as you leant in to whisper a joke, the shared quiet laughter as your eyes sparkled.

Wrapped up in your own little bubble you even managed to get out on the dance floor, first it was bopping along to top forties, scream singing along to favourites from your younger years, indulging both the kids and the grandparents with things like the chicken dance. Then the lights dimmed, the playlist shifting to something slower and instead of stepping off the dance floor, Liz grabbed your hand, twirling you under her arm before wrapping it around your waist and pulling you close. She murmured something about it not being that easy to get away from her, that she deserved at least once dance tonight and you laughed softly,

“Never would have pegged you for the dancing type.”

“There’s plenty you don’t know about me yet” She muttered back with a grin and you playfully shook your head at her, relaxing into her embrace as you glided around the dance floor.

It was during one of those dances, held close enough to her to feel her heartbeat, where she could feel your breath on her skin when you spoke, that it felt like you were in an alternate universe. That this weird fake dating thing was actually real, that you were happily in love with the other person and looking forward to spending your future together. It was on pure instinct that you turned to kiss her cheek, only, she’d had the same instinct in the same moment, her lips landing on yours and your body tensed for the briefest second before you relaxed against her. You felt the warmth of her hand coming to cup your cheek and you let out a soft sigh into the kiss, your lips curving into a small smile as you pulled away.

Before either of you could even think about saying anything the DJ blasted an air horn, the lights flashing while they turned up brighter and he announced the bouquet toss. You got whisked away an instant later on sister duty, your task making sure the maid of honour got safely into a cab without Jess noticing, knowing she’d be pissed her MOH was belligerently drunk halfway through the night. You thought you’d be free, but then discovered Jess had spilt a few drops of red wine on her dress and they still had a handful of professional photos to get through. By the time you returned to the table where Liz was now deep in a conversation with your mother, you were carrying your shoes, the buzzed feeling from the bubbly very worn off.

“You look exhausted.” Liz greeted with a small laugh.

“I feel exhausted.” You replied.

“Well, let’s get you home.” She stood from the table, her arm winding around your waist, “I’ll call a car.”

You briefly heard something from your mother about seeing Liz again before the three of you managed to say goodnight and you finally escaped the reception. You were half asleep on Liz’s shoulder by the time the car pulled up in front of your building and she was gently nudging you awake, watching until you were safely inside before she pulled away from the curb.

**

Playing it Cool.

After the wedding it was as if everything had been some kind of fever dream, that the weird little bubble of your fake dating had been simply that. Your parents were ridiculously distracted by Jess and Colin, squealing over honeymoon photos, eager to hear any and all stories from their lavish vacation that you were finally left in silence and at peace. Your new so called girlfriend practically forgotten from their minds.

The first Monday at the office after the wedding you’d been a little apprehensive about how to act but both of you seamlessly slipped back into your appropriate roles and nothing else was said on the matter. You picked up cases, brought the perps to justice and did your job. Liz would pop up in your office just as often as before, commending you on your work, bribing you to take a break with lunch and you went about life just as it had been before, even if you now did know a little more about the other person. Months went by while things returned to normal, your usual bantering, late night gossip fests and the like.

“What?” She asked you one day, watching the way you were stabbing at your plate of pasta and you let out a huff, leaning back in your seat.

“I know I said you were free of this whole fake dating thing after the wedding but apparently Jess is the honeymoon baby type.” You risked a glance up to her, “I figured I had until Christmas and could bullshit my way around an amicable break up by then but she’s nearly seven months next week and is insisting that you come with me to the baby shower.”

“Is this one of those absolutely ridiculous garden parties covered in half pink and half blue decorations until they pop a balloon and everyone screams and cries over the reveal?” She deadpanned and you laughed.

“No. They’re not finding out the gender, this is just your run of the mill mocktails for her, cocktails for everyone else, finger foods and sandwiches and gifts while everyone weirdly demands to touch her belly.”

“Yeah, I was never one for things like that either.” She took a sip of her wine and you nearly frowned, “but I’d hate for you to have to suffer through it alone, so of course I’ll come.”

“You are a literal life saver.”

“I know.” She grinned across at you, causing you to playfully roll your eyes before she flagged down a server to settle the bill.

Four days later the two of you found yourselves in your parents back yard, a gift bag with a handful of onesies, a cute card and a wad of cash being passed off to Jess and Colin. Liz’s hand slipped into yours with ease as she chatted with your family, accepting a drink from your mother before pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. You were able to avoid some of the silly games Jess had planned, escaping off to a small table in the corner with your mother as she watched your father play photographer for the day.

“Oh sweetheart I can’t wait to see you all excited when it’s your turn for this.” Paula smiled and you practically choked on your drink, barking out a laugh.

“Mom, please. Kids are on my absolute do not want list.”

“You say that now.” She chided, “I mean have you even asked Elizabeth about it?”

“Oh I do think I’m rather passed that point.” Liz replied with a chuckle, “and even if I wasn’t, I agree with her. Kids aren’t something I see in my future, I’ve got enough of a maternal role at work, wrangling all those baby prosecutors, I don’t need to come home at the end of the day to keep doing the same thing.”

“Yeah.” You sighed, swigging at your drink, “and they’re messy, and loud… and always sticky and covered in snot. Why would I want that anywhere near me? I’d much rather be able to travel, be the rich mysterious fun Aunt. Like, do I want to have to shell out millions for a chance at a good preschool, or do I want to be able to buy a yacht?” Liz laughed, squeezing at your hand.

“You’ve been hanging out with Calhoun too much.” She teased and you swatted at her arm, shaking your head.

“Well if there aren’t any grandbabies coming my way, can I at least expect a wedding?”

“Mom…” you groaned, earning a chuckle from Liz, who picked up your left hand in hers.

“You know, I have been telling her that it looks a little bland without a diamond.” She kissed the back of your hand and your mother practically burst with glee, “we should take you to get your nails done next week.”

“Liz…” You warned with a glare and she laughed softly, her gaze drifting over to the rest of the party as your mother let out a happy sigh.

It wasn’t until you were getting into the car at the end of the afternoon that it finally came up again.

“I can’t believe you.” You laughed, “here I am, trying to figure out how to fake a break up by Christmas and you go bragging to my mom about rings!”

“What can I say, I get bored, I like to meddle.”

“Clearly.” You shoved at her shoulder, “fucking shit disturber. They’re gonna be expecting a wedding next year now.”

“Oh they’ll be distracted by that thought for all of two months until that baby’s born and then the crotch goblin will be the only thing they think of for another three years, you’re fine.” She waved you off and your eyes narrowed in her direction, glaring at her.

“You owe me a new set of nails.”

**

The Italicized ‘Oh’.

Exhausted was an understatement.

After working your ass off to try and get justice for a victim who could no longer speak up for themselves you’d been torn apart, chewed up and spat out in the courtroom. You were left embarrassed, mad at yourself and the system and incredibly disappointed, all you wanted was to curl up into a ball and disappear. The only saving grace right now was that it happened to be Friday, so at least that was possible for a couple of days, hopefully everyone would forget by the time Monday rolled around.

You’d been home long enough to wipe off your make up, tug your hair up off your neck and change into sweats, flicking the tv on for some background noise while you wandered into the kitchen to see what you had in the liquor cabinet when there was a knock on the door. Your shoulders drooped as you let out a huff, padding over to the door, not totally surprised when you discovered Liz on the other side.

“Hey.” You greeted with a sigh, stepping back from the door so she could step into your apartment, following you back into the kitchen.

“It’s not like you to take off early.” She commented.

“Hmm?” You barely glanced over your shoulder, attention refocussed on deciding between wine or whiskey.

“Swung by your office, thought I’d find you there. I wanted to chat.”

“Liz, please, spare me the lecture.” You grumbled, opting for the whiskey, grabbing a glass from the cupboard.

“You had a rough go; I wasn’t going to.” She chuckled, “it’s not about work.”

“Okay.” You poured out a glass of liquor, gesturing to see if she wanted one as well before pouring out a second when she nodded slightly. “What then?”

“Well,” Liz huffed softly, feeling her heart thump in her chest, “for the better part of a year we’ve been pretending to date and I don’t want to pretend anymore.”

“Great.” You let out a sad laugh, “a terrible week, garbage day, I lose a case and now my fake girlfriend’s dumping me. You really know how to kick a girl when she’s down.” You took a swig of your drink, doing your best to keep your emotions at bay.

“Sweetheart…” She plucked the drink from your hand, “you’re not hearing me.” The glass came to rest on the counter before her finger curled under your chin, frowning at the misting in your eyes. “The part I don’t want to do anymore is the fake part.”

“What?” Your breath caught in your throat as your brow furrowed, still not totally understanding where she was going with this.

“I didn’t really realize how much I was enjoying it until there were no more excuses to get to hold your hand, somewhere along the way of pretending to be in love with you I actually started to fall.” Her thumb gently stroked across your cheek and you instinctively leant into the touch, “I went by your office to ask if I could take you to dinner, on an actual date this time. When you weren’t there I realized you were probably sulking and I didn’t like the idea of you having to do that on your own, so…” She gestured to the counter behind her and that was when you finally realized she hadn’t shown up empty handed. A take out bag with a bottle of nice wine sticking out the top sat beside a bouquet of lilies.

“Liz…” Your eyes moved between the counter and her, shaking your head in near disbelief, “I…”

“If we’re not on the same page, I’ll go.” She shrugged, “leave you to wallow in peace. I just couldn’t stay silent any longer.”

“No!” You gasped, grabbing her arm, “I… god.” You laughed, “I’ve been thinking of, and trying not to keep thinking about that fucking kiss since the wedding. I’ve been waiting for my sister to send out some stupid invitation to another ridiculous and annoying event that I’d be forced into to have some sort of excuse to play pretend again.”

“Well…” smiling she took your hands in hers, squeezing softly, “then how about we don’t pretend any longer?

“I think I’d really like that.” You murmured back, closing the gap between you as one of her hands cupped your cheek before her lips met yours in a tender kiss. You couldn’t help the grin your lips curved up into, warmth blooming through your chest at the feeling her smiling against your lips.

Breaking the kiss she smiled softly at you, her thumb stroking at your cheek before she left a feather light kiss on the tip of your nose, “now, I know you had a bad day but you need something beyond liquor for dinner. How do you feel about Thai?”

“Sounds perfect.”

Liz wrapped an arm around your waist, picking up the take out bag while you grabbed the glasses off the counter and the two of you made your way into the living room to settle on the couch. It was there that you finally let your guard down, all the walls you’d kept up to maintain the professional relationship being torn down piece by piece as you relaxed into each other. Your mood lifted as Liz recounted stupid stories to make you laugh, watching you with an adoring smile as you began to come out of your pit of disappointment, only interrupting to steal kisses or brush a piece of mussed up hair off your face.

By the end of the evening, limbs were tangled together, a blanket half tossed over the both of you while a movie played on the television. Liz’s fingers gently combed through your hair and you let out a happy hum, grabbing her free hand to leave a kiss on the back of it. You couldn’t help but smile, feeling a little bit silly at the entire thing, sometimes what you needed the most really was what was sitting right in front of you the entire time.

___________________

@svulife-rl l @anya-casablanca @mickey-gomez @naturalxselection @yesterdaysgone @momlifebehard @alexusonfire @alexxavicry @rainbowelshrhian @daddy-heather-dunbar @evilregal2002 @alcabots @ladysc @dextur @disneyfan624 @kdaghay @svushots @onmykneesformarvel @kalixxh @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @louderfortheback @swimmingstudentchaos891 @baubeautyandthegeek

[ipatrichor]

my thoughts on dead boy detectives after watching episode one

okay first of all i gotta say i love the vibe. two ghosty boys running around solving cases and helping trapped spirits move on? that's so fun i love them

tbh. i don't know whats going on btween these two if it's platonic romantic whatever and i don't think any distinction can be drawn that matters. maybe that's the aro in me but they are each other's most important person and who cares about the semantics!!!

charles trying to get edwin to learn self-defense is very sweet. however i will say girl how has this not happened sooner. you literally just got chased through london by a knife ghost and your next case involves fistfighting a possessed psychic Please learn to throw a punch minimum. i would say learning how to fall properly is more important but it's not like they can get more dead. so.

unless they go to the afterlife or something i guess? interesting stakes, especially with the lady from the end of the episode who's looking for them. also the scene hanging outside the window was very sweet, with edwin promising he won't let them get separated. at this point i think it could go either way whether that was to establish their dynamic or to foreshadow, so we'll have to wait and see if the promise holds, but either way very touching moment

crystal my girl crystal!!!! i love her so much holy shit she is so messy!!!! i love love love her getting angry about her shitty situation bc. yeah! that's scary as hell having amnesia bc ur literal demon ex stole your memories and she's got no one except the boys, one of whom very openly doesn't want her around. that's really rough and i Love that she blows up at them about it in a moment of extreme stress instead of being unnaturally chill about an objectively awful situation like many mystical characters (especially when they're women)

anyway i think crystal should get a knife and stabbing privileges. she'd for sure misuse them but i think it'd be funny

edwin is so real for the 70 years in hell thing. girl if i was in the torture dimension for SEVEN DECADES i'd be awful to everyone, it's actually impressive that he restrains himself to being a petty bitch. good for him tbh, i think he's earned the snark. don't get me wrong it's unhelpful and sometimes downright mean, but it's also funny so i'm letting it slide

the witch... esther i think? god what do i say about her. ok im first gonna start with this: she's fucking chilling, it's so scary watching her body the group with ease until charles basically hail-marys and possesses her AND EVEN THEN it's for less than a minute til she forces him out!! it feels like encountering the bbeg when your party is level five- you know you can't touch her and have to play the situation carefully so she doesn't just end you, and the win is getting away with a different objective (here saving the kid) while knowing she's gonna be actively hostile to you now. scary stuff!

idk if this is the popular opinion or not but i just don't find her hot 😭 like yeah she's serving incredible cunt, but her awful pta mom energy keeps that from being attractive. idk if it's the mommy issues but i would feel unsafe and constantly judged in her presence which is usually a dealbreaker for me finding people hot. sorry ma'am i deeply respect your vibe and the cunt you serve i would just avoid u like hell if u were real

the whole snake in a bone dimension in her cupboard is pretty cool though, and i love that her blowing smoke in people's faces isn't just a power play but a paralytic that's So clever

any other thoughts.... the girl with long hair is pretty, and that interaction with crystal has me wondering if the show got cancelled for lesbianism. i feel like maybe not? idk, if it was the start of a relationship that seems weirdly at odds with the tone of the rest of the show, so im leaning more towards crystal was picking up a weird psychic vibe from her that might be important later. who knows though!! i'll just have to find out haha

anyway i got sucked back into reading a novel but i should get caught up on that sometime today and then it's on to episode two, lol. very interested to find out what's up with the cat's vague ominous warning and what esther's gonna do when she finds out they rescued the kid she kidnapped

[junee-e]

A NEW PENUMBRA EPISODE HAS RISEN!!!! TIME TO THROW MY THOUGHTS INTO THE ABYSS!!!! random thoughts and ramblings follow :D

I AM SO READY FOR DETECTIVE RITA YOU HAVE NO IDEA

OH SHIT WILL SHE BE NARRATING PLEASE TELL ME SHES NARRATING

HER DETECTIVE VOICE IS SO FUN IM SO DEAD

why is she better at this than juno this is going so much better than his attempt

‘WATCH THIS’ * keyboard tapping noises* (i love her)

of course she gets paid in cereal i dont know what i expected

oh ok no junos still narrating

‘THE MAN I LOVED WAS ON THE LINE’ (this will never get old for me)

‘my name is juno steel and *usually* im the private eye’ i am enjoying this way too much

ok why do i love skipper they’re so fun?

‘he just ruins the *peaceful vibes*’ so real so real

HE TOOK THE FUCKING FLOWERS I SWEAR TO GOD

rita. had. dinner with them. oh my god. she is the best.

the mother speaking for the grandfather in like such an annoyed voice and then being so calm with ‘or so father says’ is so funny to me

skippers so dramatic i love them

‘SHUT UP DEAREST’ LMAOO

ooooooo did skipper help nureyev?? wait no thats too obvious….or it is just obvious enough to be right????…..no its isnt….or is it???? (im going insane)

‘he makes friends or.. more than friends and he uses those connections to his advantage’ OH SHIT (skipper???? skipper?? skipper kinda makes sense???) (but like yknow…obvious option)

‘watch skippers reaction in particular’ AHAHA!

OOOO ARE WE GONNA GET RITA NUREYEV INTERACTIONS PLEASE OH MY GOD

‘mostly i was thinking about nureyev’ *cue me falling off my chair at the instant romantic soundtrack that apparently follows nureyev’s name everywhere now*

roomantiic moonoolougueee tiimmee

GRIMMS MASK EPISDOE CALL BACK OH I AM NOT READY

‘another love’ ITS FOR HIS JOB ISNT IT ISTG

OH ITS FOR FUCKING HYPERION CITY OHHHHH SHIT

why does this remind me of the monolouge at the end of final resting place (end of the first season)

‘it wasnt a very nice city but hell im not a very nice lady’ vs ‘this is my city. im not proud of it but that doesnt mean its not worth saving’

there are so many things this season that are setting up to be broken (probably not the right word) but like so many things that have potential for a really sad/angsty pay off. like nureyev and slip or juno telling nureyev he’ll keep following him untl he says he doesnt want him to. or juno and missing hyperion city. i’m so scared.

oh ritas so dramatic its making me so happy

HE TOOK THE ORCHIDS !!!!!

ITS THE MOTHER????

of course she had an inflatable couch in her hideout spot

ooooo its juno detective-ing explain-ing time

juno obsessing over detective stuff is so fun

a CoNfEsSiOn

‘im tired of you people…and also just tired’ skipper being way too relatable

OH SHIT NUREYEV DIDNT TAKE THE FLOWERS???

SOMEONE TOOK THE FLOWERS FOR NUREYEV WHAT IS THIS????

OH IT WAS THE GRANDFATHER WHAT???

‘he sent me up to bed early’ ma’am, you are a probably-around-40-or-something-year-old woman

the gibberish is still funny

WHAT HE WAS FUCKING IN LOVE WITH NUREYEV HUH WHAT THATS SO FUNNY

‘we know how this theif operates he grabs you by your heartstrings and never lets go’ yeah rita would know about that with all the agnsty monolouges

WHAT THE FUCK HES TALKING????

WHO SAID HE LOVED HIM??? NUREYEV???? WHAT???

OH FUCK OH SHIT OH NO OH GOD ‘he said hed come back for me he said we’d run away together’ OHHHH NO NO NO NO NO. NO LONGER FUNNY

‘well it looks like my work here…is done’ *very fast tapping of rita walking away*

OH WAIT SHE CAME BACK TO ACTUALLY HELP JUNO LMAOO

awwww they’re all back together!

A TRACKER A TRACKER HE GOT IT ON NUREYEV AHAHAHA

THEY KNOW WHERE THE DOKANA GROUP IS LETS GO

oh ok fuck i thought we were done how foolish of me there hadnt been a sad speech yet

‘i knew he hadnt done the same to me’ OH THANK GOD OKOK

‘he meant the promises he made me’ AWW YAY

wait no its sad oh god oh no

‘problems for another day, i thought’ best coping method fr fr

‘the rest we’d just have to figure out together’ yay ok happy-ish ending :D

okok so alot of thoughts. i’m so scared of all the set-ups for angst and honestly i’m kinda just waiting for the episode that it all comes crashing down and everyones really sad. but also! hopefullness! juno saying that he’ll figure it out with nureyev! yay! i honestly don’t know how the big climax finally thing with jupeter and slip and the dokana group and everything is going to go i’m just really hoping for an eventual happy ending with happy jupeter (and rita there too :D)

anyway! loved this episode can’t wait for the next one with (i’m assuming) stuff with the Dokana group!!

[my-own-walker]

Hi, I'm sorry to bother you but I wanted to ask you if you could write a fic or a long one-shot about Colin Zabel (I don't know if you saw Mare of Eastown).

The story line would be this: Colin asks YN out because Mare rejected him (basically the scene happened where he thought they were on a date and she just wanted to talk about the case).

YN agrees to go on the date. They start going out several times. At one point she finds out that Colin asked her out on a date out of spite (bc of the Mare thing). So she confronts him and tells him that she liked him, she gets angry because she feels he played with her feelings. And then Colin tries to fix the situation because, during the several dates, he realizes that he started to like YN.

And, if enough, make like an epilogue where they are a happy family (Colin and YN).

Too long. Sorry.

On The Other Line - Part 1

sure can! (it’s never too long, anon. much love)

warnings: spoiler alerts possible ahead for mare of easttown, mentions of violence against women, mentions of death, light sm*t/some steamy moments, some misogyny (it's really true to the area so i include it lightly)

author's note: i just so happen to know the delco area VERY well so expect me to nerd out on this one. accents, slang, food, everything will be very accurate. mare of easttown was pretty true to delco, but i can make it better. evan fucking nailed the accent, as he always does, btw.

+++

Being from Easttown meant that seeing someone new in town was a headline-worthy event.

So when Detective Colin Zabel showed up to help out with the Erin McMenamin case, everyone and their mom-moms were talking about it. Gossiping about the case and just how bad it was, considering the fact that they called in backup.

I'll admit it, I engaged in the gossip. My Uncle Nick owned the bar in town and would tell me all about what he heard about the case. He's worse than a chick, I'll tell you that.

Now I had no personal connection to the case. I knew of Erin but not enough to really be torn up about the whole thing. It was scary, yeah, being a woman in town after one was missing and another was dead, but I couldn't be bothered with tears. I didn't want to face the fact that things were getting scary.

I worked as a librarian. Something about reading called to me. It was great to escape from the disgusting world I found myself living in. One where women were being brutalized just minutes from my home. I have always been a sucker for escapism.

My Uncle Nick's bar became a landing place for me most nights. I was afraid to go back to my apartment alone. I didn't have a car so I'd have to walk. The bar was only half a mile from the library, and my apartment was 2 miles away. The bar was the better choice considering everything going on.

I'd help out serving sometimes. Other times I'd just sit behind the bar and talk to the patrons. Then my uncle would drive me home in his truck. I didn't mind helping out if it meant that I was safe.

+

It was a Thursday night. Around 10 pm. I was doing my usual routine of sitting behind the bar after work, talking to the familiar faces that always came by. At this bar, there were only regulars.

That was until I saw Colin Zabel walk through the front door.

It was like seeing a celebrity. I silently wondered if he was here to question somebody about the case. I picked up my book and began to read it, trying to send an innocent bystander vibe.

He walked over to the bar and slumped himself down on the seat nearest to me.

'Fuck.' I thought.

My Uncle Nick walked over to Colin and set down a coaster in front of him.

'Just a PBR, please?' Colin said as he looked up.

'Draft or can?' my uncle replied.

'Can, please,' Colin answered, rubbing his temple with his hand.

'PBR?' I scoffed from my seat. 'Colin Zabel. Could you fulfill the Delco trash stereotype more, please?'

'Wh-what?' he stuttered while smiling, looking up in awe at my directness.

'You couldn't pick a trashier beer,' I continued putting down my book on the bar next to him. 'Plus, if you're gonna get it, get the draft dude. It at least looks classier.' I leaned forward on the stool I was sitting on, resting my elbows on the bar in front of me and placing my chin in my hands.

'Yo, I've had a rough night, cut me some slack,' he laughed.

'Rough night or not, I'd never go into a bar for the first time and order a PBR. Complete jerkoff move, Zabel.'

'Okay, youse around here know my name and it's gettin' weird. And how do you know this is my first time in here,' he chuckled.

'Oh sorry I'm bein' rude. I'm Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N. You are kinda famous around here, detective. And my uncle owns this place. I'd know if you'd been in here before,' I smirked.

As if on cue, Uncle Nick returned, reaching around me to place the can in front of Colin.

'Makin' friends, hun?' my uncle asked, patting my right shoulder.

'Only always,' I replied, smiling up at him. He walked away, shaking his head at me.

'Well, Y/N, you're very forward, huh?' he suggested as he sipped his drink.

I guess I was. The bar was sort of my domain. I talked to every patron like that. After all, everyone that was in there was either my teacher, classmate, doctor, or employer at one time. I knew everyone so I acted like it. And I knew of Colin so I felt like I could talk to him like that. Totally forgot he was a complete stranger.

'But you liked it, though,' I quipped back. He simply laughed and shook his head, casting his eyes down.

'What brings you here, anyways?' I asked.

'Closest bar to the restaurant I was just at,' he shrugged.

'Didn't get enough to drink there?' I challenged. He looked up and met my eyes. His were a deep brown. He looked sad.

'Oh, it was a trainwreck,' he sipped his drink again.

'Don't care to elaborate, hm?' I asked. He just shook his head.

'Y'know, Y/N? I'm feeling really bold right now,' Colin started, making eye contact with me again. 'Would you wanna go out sometime? Y'know what? Maybe tomorrow. Lunchtime?'

I was taken aback. 'You're pretty forward yourself, Zabel.'

'You're pretty and I feel like it would just be fun,' he continued.

'Oh, I'm just pretty?' I replied, feigning shock.

'Oh shut up,' he laughed as he pushed my forearm lightly.

+

After exchanging numbers and chatting some more he left. Over text, we agreed to meet in the park at lunchtime to talk. He'd provide the coffee, he promised.

The next day I walked to work with more pep in my step than usual. I was even singing a little when putting books back on shelves. It had been a while since I'd been on a date. He was really cute so I couldn't help but be excited.

I got to the park earlier than we'd agreed upon, but that motherfucker still beat me there. He was holding two cups of coffee and was dressed smartly in a long tweed grey coat.

'You're eager, Zabel!' I called across the park as I walked upon him.

'You're early, too, miss,' he replied, raising an eyebrow and pulling me in for a hug. When we separated he handed me one of the cups. 'Oat milk for you, my dear.'

I smiled. He remembered a passing comment I made the night before.

We started to walk, talking about everything under the sun. I tried not to ask too much about his work, with the case being so sensitive, and all. We came up on a playground. There was a blonde woman sitting on a bench nearby, obviously watching a young child.

Colin suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me closer. The gesture gave me butterflies in my stomach. Walking closer to the bench, the blonde woman looked up and waved. Colin waved back and flashed his best closed-lip smile.

"Colin, hey,' the woman said. "About la-'

'Mare, this is Y/N,' Colin drew nearer to me and kissed my cheek. I blushed heavily.

'H-hi," I started.

'Y/N, this is Mare. She used to be on the Erin McMenamin case with me,' he snipped, gesturing his hand toward her. She rolled her eyes and went back to watching the child on the playground.

'I don't have time for this today, Colin,' Mare said, dismissing us.

We walked away just a far enough distance out of her earshot before I said, 'she's a fuckin' ray of sunshine.'

'Quite a woman,' Colin replied, looking back at her, still not letting go of my hand.

+

The rest of the date went super well. So well, in fact, that I didn't stop bothering him. I texted him every day, every second I could get the chance.

He returned the energy…somewhat. He was a busy man, being on the police force after all. I didn't think too much of it.

We planned to go back out again on that Sunday for lunch.

+

'Hey, pretty,' he breathed as he took his jacket off. I beat him to the restaurant. I won, this time. He sat down in the seat across from me.

He called me pretty. My face felt hot. He seemed to really be into me. And I felt the same.

The meal was great. We continued to get to know each other and I really started catching feelings for him. I invited him back to my apartment after and he said yes.

The inside of my apartment was, I'll say it, pretty strangely decorated. I'm a lover of all things fun and odd, and my interior design choices reflected it. For example, my couch was royal purple, and I had billiard balls in a decorative bowl on my cowboy-themed coffee table. I refused to use overhead lighting so everything was lit a warm yellow and striking blue, thanks to the lights I bought off Amazon.

The best part, and my shining accomplishment, my bed was heart-shaped. So me and so weird. I think it came from a strip club. I found the frame and mattress discarded on the side of the road. Score.

I could tell Colin was shocked by the way he was looking around. He shrugged his coat off and placed it on one of the clown hooks by the door.

'I know it's weird bu-' I started.

'No, Y/N, this place is really...stellar. It has personality, for sure,' he assured me. He continued to wander around, looking at my things.

I started to feel kind of shy in my own home. Like this man was fully in my apartment and I had the fattest crush on him. If there was one thing about me, though, I wasn’t shy. I decided that the best and only way to power through it was to kiss him, so I did.

He tensed at first, not expecting the contact, but soon relaxed into it, placing his hands on my waist and pulling me into him.

I pulled away. ‘Sorry, I just- like-‘

‘No it’s okay, I liked it,’ he grinned. ‘You’re fucking cool, Y/L/N.’

‘I mean I don’t fight crime for a living but-‘ I started but was promptly cut off by Colin’s lips on mine again. Sweet kisses turned more passionate as I started to lead him to my bedroom.

I fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. He pulled my cardigan down off my shoulders. When we reached the bedroom I tugged his shirt off and threw it behind him, demonstratively. He grabbed the bottom hem of my camisole and pulled it over my head, exposing my black lace bra.

It was then that he noticed my bed.

‘No, you’re fuckin’ joking,’ he laughed, walking towards it and hopping up on it. ‘Are we about to fuck like 70s porn stars right now? A heart-shaped bed?’ His smirk was so cute.

I didn’t reply. Instead I attacked him with kisses, crawling into his lap. I felt his hard-on in his pants below me. I straddled his thighs and pushed him down gently into a laying position.

‘Y/N….fuck,’ he moaned as I peppered kisses down his chest and stomach, stopping at the waistband of his pants. I slowly unbuttoned them, making him wait for it. He helped me tug them off of his legs. I placed my hand on his cock through his underwear and waited as if to ask permission. ‘Please,’ he mustered.

I reached in and pulled it out, immediately taking him in my mouth. He muttered every curse word under the sun as I continued to blow him.

+

We spent the rest of the day in my bed. Our time was used talking, then having sex, then talking again. Repeating the cycle until I was thoroughly convinced that I was in love with him.

He left me around 10 that night and for some reason, I felt empty. Cold. It was an odd feeling considering the ecstasy I has experienced all day. I put it down to being tired.

But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

+++

Okayyyyy yay!!! That was part 1 of two in this lil series. Thanks anon again for the request. Sorry if it felt rushed in some points. I was trying not to make this thing like 400 parts. I get wordy at times. Part 2 hopefully will be here tomorrow!!

[xstarlightxstarbrightx]

Neuvi headcanons

MY BBGRL,,, MY LIL CUTIE MANS WHO I ADORE,,,, i love him so much he's so fuCKIng CUTE dude, lil dragon mans sksmefkhjrshefkj. i swear i'm a normal individual w/ these characters

list of current h/c's: - i feel like he's socially anxious?? like ok, listen, he's GREAT w/ any formal situation, but THE MOMENT it gets casual he PANICs on the inside bc he's like 'wait what's the right and wrong thing to say'. - following that, i feel like when he's in a casual conversation w/ ppl and starts getting panicked, i feel like he's learned to tap his cane twice on the ground to signal to any of his closer companions that he's freaking out. like a "get me out of this situation please" type deal. - this ties into my belief that he's got anxiety regarding smaller scale things. like if he makes a small mistake on something or breaks an object, he feels SO BAD and panics as he tries to figure out how to fix it.

- knowing this, i feel like he feels a bunch of emotions, he just doesn't know how to like,,, put them into words? read below - a yearning for learning,,,, actively seeks out how to label his emotions, but how does one define their feelings? Emotions are not equated to logic, and yet they're a part of human experience, so what is the method to label that which is so intangible yet so real? he doesn't know yet, but he's figuring it out and i'm so proud of him :)c - overprotective in his own way. like he's been putting a lot of stuff on his shoulders so ofc that includes him being sensitive towards people he cares about being harmed. - prideful! he doesn't think he's prideful, he just is Proud Of Things, but tbh i get a bit of a "dragon pride" vibe from him. it's silly goofy and rears up the most around certain Archons. - GOOD DAD. NEUVI IS SUCH A GOOD DAD. IF A MELUSINE COMES UP TO HIM TO TALK ABT A THING, HE IS THE MOST ATTENTIVE LISTENER. HE'LL ASK QUESTIONS, TOO, TO TRY AND LEARN MORE. oUGH i love him he's SUCH a gOOD DAD - afraid of losing everything; Neuvi didn't really realize he had so much to lose until he almost lost it, and now he's like even more scared to lose anything else. - anxious of closer connections. Neuvi wants to be closer to people; he really likes humanity, and he wants to reach out to people. but he's afraid, bc if they ever err away from the side of justice, they may end up in his court. no matter what happens, then, is him sentencing them not a form of betrayal? neuvi ponders this a lot - MOVING AWAY FROM SAD THINGS: y'all i'll be SO real, ppl are so used to Neuvillette being in Fontaine that, when he's Outside of Fontaine, unless they Know Him on a personal level, no one recognizes that he's the Iudex of Fontaine. like not even actual Fontainians register it, bc, like, why would the literal Iudex Leave his Natural Habitat of the Court of Fontaine??? - side note, average ppl are intimidated by him. like most ppl look at him and go 'if i approach him, i will be arrested for war crimes bc CLEARLY he is a PRINCE' (which is the best and funniest shit) - 'unrelated'; Neuvi doesn't talk to a lot of ppl outside of his closer friend group, i think u can understand why - such a hard worker,,, honestly probably overworks himself and doesn't even realize it. - WHICH LEADS ME TO HIS HOBBIES HEHEHHEHEHEHE - ARTIST,,, you CANNOT sit there, after Lantern Rite, and TELL ME that HE DOES NOT start looking into the arts. THIS MAN would ABSOLUTELY get into painting and poetry and shit. he likes watercolors and he ADORES POTTERY (THAT FUCKING LADLE??? I CRIED OVER IT IN MY TEAPOT FOR 30 MINUTES HELP) - loves books and stories. like seriously they're kinda actually really fun for him to read bc he sits and breaks down what is and isn't accurate abt them (crime/detective books) and he gets invested in romance books (he's CURIOUS okay??) - bc he reads Fontainian romance books, any and every romantic gesture is like,,, awkwardly sappy? like he'll do small scale things bc he's a lil nervous baby, but it's THE SAPPIEST of the sappy. - fashion lover. Listen, this man could arguably wear whatever he wants and he chose to wear THAT???? he's a fashion lover / makeup master, and i will die on this hill. - he would laugh at Cyno's jokes, but only AFTER Cyno explains them.

OKAY I,,, I THINK I DID IT,,, i had so much written i'm dying please i love him so so so much. my itty bitty squishy bbgrl i cannot wait to explain why and how he joined the party / poly it's SO silly, this entire thing is my favorite i have been yapping abt them for a MILLENIA

[highladyluck]

Season 2, Episode 6 Liveblog

Elayne is getting a puzzle! :D this is such good enrichment for Elaynes

Rand’s secret little smile at ‘you can fight anyone’

“It needs to be healed” creepy but I kinda love it in a fucked up way

Not the pitcher :(

“That’s almost nice” WTF that’s so dehumanizing and so Seanchan

Well that’s almost entirely by the book

Compare/contrast these two chained up figures

Importance of chosen names

This is a much more effective mindfuck then whatever TGH Selene was attempting

Psssst Rand it’s bad when your new girlfriend separates you from your support network

Min you are harshing the vibe

“She broke the 3 oaths?” “Every single one” (Elayne took notes)

Names are a theme

I don’t think I want Lanfear doing me favors

“Many paths through the dark” I do appreciate leaning into the Lanbiguity

Suroth, if the Empress saw how you were toying with her Gardener she’d be very upset, those are Imperial property

Loial, have you considered: Stab them with the plant

We are about to have pitcher problems

The way the a’dam prevents a damane from using things they think of as weapons is a weird twisted echo of the 2nd oath. I’ve wondered if the Oaths would prevent Aes Sedai from making a’dam and I think it would depend on what the Aes Sedai termed a weapon that someone could kill another with.

Yeah this is pure book although the ‘you’re not a person’ line is an extra ouch

“Pour a glass of water” echoing horribly the water-cleaning from the tower

When you deal with the devil, that is actually how it works, I’m afraid

Temple of the Forsaken??? Y’all I need some fic set here. I need Dark Raves honoring Asmodean. I need therapy sessions that make you worse sponsored by the Acolytes of Graendal. I need Moghedonists whispering the sacred crypto wallet keys to each other.

Siuan is probs putting out diplomatic fires in Caemlyn now that they lost Elayne? Or attending Gawyn’s birthday party I guess

Oooh is it the trippy ~TGH dream sequence?

Lmao she calls him Ishy

“See the world as it really is in the World of Dreams” what a fascinating take

Do not ask about Egg!!! this is Lanfear she will make Egg into a flesh balloon for touching you

Smart Rand would be like ‘oh now I know you’re lying [about Egwene being Ishy’s]’ but Idk how smart he is

Oh this is heartbreaking she found the lost sister

Ooooooh are we going to see Bayle again so soon?

Nyneave like ‘I’ll allow it” but only because Elayne is saying what she would have

Elayne is getting a puzzle! :D this is such good enrichment for Elaynes

Awwww what a nice nosy boy who will repeat the contents of the letter

Watch she doesn’t stab you when you look away

Mommy issuessssss

I like the air knives

Because you want a legacy!

Ooooh lesson time. Everyone is barfing in this ep

Rand’s secret little smile at ‘you can fight anyone’

Oh god [MY BOYS!!!]

KISS!!! -ok moment’s gone

Mat and his lil grabby hand on Rand’s shoulder, my tactile boy

‘Some of the damane can sense people channeling’ guess we def changed the lore about how channelers sense each other, mildly annoyed about that, but it’s consistent within the show

That’s smart, trying to see the catch in the water like a mirror

Exercising power

Oooof that’s a new twist “I hope they told you at your White Tower how special you are”

Renna are you going to make her set it on fire??? The thing that comforts her? [post-ep I was thinking about the contrast in how the Seanchan command Loial and his tree powers- they are uncomfortable with it and have to ruin the moment. They don’t have the same power over him without tools.]

Well that was an uncomfortably sexually charged moment of excited panting [please tell me it wasn’t just me]

Proud of you, Egwene <3 Hah you made Renna mad good for you

Elayne: “I need a bestie real bad”

Mat gets it because Mat also has The Depression

RESCUE TIME

Min is like I am here to give you bad news, as is my fate

Mat’s good at bullshit detecting & does not handle betrayal well

This is very sweet but I feel like the subtext is “You will be eaten alive as king”

Pope hat

Oh my boys they are so sad

It’s time for… [Alanna and her posse corner Rand] OH SHIT IS IT HAPPENING?

I don’t think Nyneave does modulation

“It needs to be healed” creepy but I kinda love it in a fucked up way

Ooooof next time we see Ryma she’ll be with my Most Problematic Of Faves I guess 🫣😬☹️

This series loves to hang characters and if it can’t get Mat than anyone else will do

[Renna pours out the cup Egwene just filled] Oh fuuuuuuuck you Renna

You still won. You’re still alive

Our lost Blue Sitter coming in at the clutch

[plaindangan]

I know you said you wanted to focus on underused girls but

1) I’ll prefer to die than to give any positive attention to canon (she a bitch but not the cool type)

2) Im in an EXTREME need for smutty over the top Kaede / shu action.

So yeah sorry I’m about to send you some.

Lately some pretty boys of Hope’s peak academy have turned into fat ass femboy sluts that will do anything for a good spanking rimjob and most importantly money, and it’s been working VERY good for most girls in HP.

Shuichi decides to study the case Kaede is very proud of him… but the last few days she’s barely seen him at all, he spends all his time in his room, watching some videos, and there’s very girly but very strong moans…

When he finaly comes out he became the teasiest, flirtiest, most fat assed and feminine goth femboy in the world, and miu has been trying haaard to make him her permanent property, by giving him (and his massive femboy dick) all the money and lewd he wants out of her~…. Will Kaede save him, or will her brain fry and she’ll join his growing gooning simping harem~?

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not view!

The outbreak of femboys was a...unusual case even by Shuichi standards.

Byakuya, Rantaro, Kokichi, Fuyuhiko, it seems one after the other, guys were turning into some of the breedable looking femboys Hope's Peak has ever witnessed. A slutty bunch, they spent most of their time flirting with whoever catches their eyes and, for a price in cash or pleasure, would be down to just do anything~

As one can imagine, it wasn't be fore long where some girls (Junko) was using to an advantage to not only get rich by get fucked in the greatest way possible by these new boytoys.

While they seemed harmless, or rather were harmless, as a detective Shuichi channeled his pride into searching for the truth and that lead him into find a link to some website. "Femboys 4 Life.com?" It...couldn't be real right? The only thing posted on the site was a a strange hypnotic video?

...No, it can't be!! Surely one video is not enough to-

(Five days later)

"Sh-shuiiiiiiiichii~" Miu coeed, as she rubbed against the detective's bare leg. Hard not to do when only a pair of skimpy shorts was was that was really 'covering' him (if you count being so tight his new eighch cock was clearly straining against the material and showing of his absolute basketball of a butt as 'covering'). As Miu looked up she would see Shuichi not only wearing a crop top that exposed much of his soft belly, and even a bellybutton ring to boot, but also had some changes to his face. Black lipstick over plump lips in a soft smile, eye shadow that gave his face an alluringly sexy appeal and he was even back to wearing his hat - which somehow gave a mischievous vibe to him. He was was captivating~

"Shuiiiiichiii~ C'mon, just be fuckin' mine already!!! Look at these tits!!" Miu proceeded to squish her huge moudns together. "You can fuck this all day long if you want!! Hell, I'll even pay your ass triple what any other bitches here would offer your!! What do you say?"

"Well, I-!!

"SHUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!" Rushing into the hallway where this was going on was a Kaede. Here to snap her crush back to normal?!...Oh, no, wait. Nevermind, she not only shoved his head into her soft, equally big boobs, had pulled him away from Miu by grabbing onto his bare cheeks and forcibly pulling him away.

"Back off bitch, he's mine!! P-plus, I make more consistent cash from my concerts than you and what crap you sell every blue moon!!"

"Every blue moon?! You cow ass skank, I claimed him first!!!" she barked and got in Kaede's face...which had the side effects of also crushing Shuichi from the other side.

"Please, we both know between you and me, Shuichi will always choose me!!"

"You little-!!" As the two blondes argued, and shoved against each other and turned into both forcibly yanking Shuichi out of the other arms and into the other's chest, the new femboy was left in a back and forth bliss from such affection...

And, as both would soon see, his excitement would not only show against his shorts, but begin to leak out of it as well~ It was eventually agreed, in Shuichi's bedroom, that it was best to 'share' this gift instead~

[seth-burroughs]

for the ask game how about both seth and yomi?

MY BOYS >:))))))) THE BOYS

Seth:

favorite thing about them

I can't. fucking. The poncho that tricked me into believing he's a short king but he's like fucking 5'9. The glowy hood belts. How he looks like he's gonna keel over any minute. The bouquet. Him needing to use a megaphone since he just mumbles me too buddy I was pointing at the screen saying "me too buddy" when Yomi was being Yomi about his voice ME TOO BUDDY (it's fine I forgave him). Him taking bribes from the Nail Man because his boss told him to and how he saw nothing suspicious about it. Him ALSO trying to make a deal with the detectives when they get close to finding out. Him being a literal saint compared to all the other peacekeepers (what is wrong with them) and kiiiiiiiind of actually doing his job. His monocle. That shit eating smile. The green. Him existing in (and making) the best chapter in RC. Him getting hit with a helmet so hard he bleeds (guess by who). Him getting progressively less intimidating and more pathetic and cringefail with every scene he's in. The concerning Burroughs family loading screen trivia. Him being good at chess and liking wind instruments. Him hating untuned instruments. His birthday being in pride month. His winx enchantix form in the ML. Should I keep going

least favorite thing about them

How he appeared completely unannounced out of fucking nowhere to be the best character in the game in like 4 scenes total and they then just. hauled him off.

The disrespect is unbelievable I was in denial the whole game every chapter I was waiting for him to show up again. He's not even the only peacekeeper that shows up out of nowhere and then we never see them again, hello Swank Guillaume & Dominic. Dare I say MDA:RC should have been longer - not as in, more cases but like. More downtime between chapters to get to know the Guys more. Please

favorite line

"You need to get your watch repaired. Oh dear... the watchmaker is currently detained as a suspect. Just throw away that piece of trash then." you just KNOW he was so fucking satisfied with himself after that he was giggling internally the whole time. What if I killed him

brOTP

Seth & Guillaume nominated for Kanai Ward's most toxic friendship. I hope you die I hope we both die (platonic)

OTP

Seth x therapy and a different job best ship

nOTP

Seth/Yakou I just don't vibe 😔

random headcanon

Most polish man in Kanai Ward he pickles fucking everything. Goes mushroom picking every autumn and dries all the boletes and boletuses to use for pierogi filling. Always makes his own pierogi store bought are disgusting. Puts atrocious amounts of frozen dill on all his surówkas and mashed potatoes. Cucumber soup enjoyer. All of these are about food. I love food I wish I could eat it

unpopular opinion

Don't have any. I agree with mostly everything they're are saying about him here I approve of the RC tumblr community Seth opinions👍👍

song i associate with them

Hmmmmm.......... Sometimes by Nick Lutsko - You see with Yomi I could make an entire playlist, but there is literally only 1 song in the whole world (that isn't like. an instrumental lmao) that reminds me of Seth. My music taste is fucking Sethless.

favorite picture of them

I don't care what the masses say his phantom fucking slayed. People are being so cruel to him fr calling him cabbage head. I mean they're right but

Yomi:

favorite thing about them

How he's so terrible and evil and so fucking sexy about it. Every single time he appears on screen gets a fake zilch zombie esque response from me

least favorite thing about them

I legitimately cannot think of a single bad thing about Yomi

favorite line

I have three!

1. "That's even more impossible than a chance meeting between an umbrella and a sewing machine on an operating table!" what is wrong with him.

2. Not a single line but like. The conversation he had with Yuma when they were alone for a few minutes after we talked to Huesca where Yuma just tries to break the awkward silence with "umm" and Yomi just hits him with the "WHY DO YOU EXIST. WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE"

3. [after Makoto says he has a duty to watch over Amaterasu and Kanai Ward as a whole] "... What? What have you ever done for Kanai Ward? All you do is look down on it from high. The peaceful order you see when you gave upon it is thanks to my righteous justice. I'm the one guiding these lazy fools! I brought civilization to this place! I don't need you messing with the proper order of my city!" :]] I'll leave it without comment go make up your own mind about it~~

brOTP

Him and Fake Zilch. Not because I see them as platonic but because Fake Zilch was like... literally the only bro option that exists for him lmao

OTP

How dare you make me choose between Fake Zilch, Makoto & Yuma

nOTP

Yomi x Martina. I remember when he got introduced and right after he sent Seth to the electric chair, spat on Yakou then left I thought to myself "well at least he's a big wife guy" hoo boy.

random headcanon

Has two beds in his apartment. One shaped like a cool racecar where he has sex with Martina, and one three days grace themed four story bed where he has sex with everyone else. He doesn't sleep in either of them because rest is for soyboys and omegas. Speaking of omegas h- *audio cuts off*

unpopular opinion

Yomi haters are WEAK as FUCK Also he should be allowed to do whatever he wants actually I cheered and clapped when he hit Vivia right on the face with his whip you and me both Yomi you and me both.

song i associate with them

I have an entire playlist for that lmao so I'll limit myself to five: Dear Dictator by Saint Motel, Autotheist by Baby Bugs, Digital Silence by Peter McPoland + The Reason They Hate Me by Daughters. If we're talking about his relationship to Makoto then Want by Recoil and Men by The Dodos are PEAK makoyomi I beg you to listen to them. Pleas e

favorite picture of them

Sigh *pulls out the Yomi folder and starts picking them out extremely carefully*

[tatiejosie]

6 & 19!

6. 3 characters that inspire you

Marco Pagot/Porco Rosso from Porco Rosso. His entire vibe is incredible. He has this bulky, masculine figure that perfectly compliments his confidant but level-headed attitude. He's knowledgable and cynical, but he shows respect for people who are suffering. His complete lack of self-awareness concerning his relationship with Gina and his attractiveness is also very much a mood. Bro has the biggest sex-appeal of the entire Adriatic sea and he still blushes when some girl kisses him on the cheek out of admiration. Like wow, same.

fun fact Porco Rosso is one of my fav Ghibli movie and i kin w Marco bc one of my partners is like exactly like Gina and we're like "uwu us" about this

Eddie Valiant from Who framed Roger Rabbit. Same vibes as Marco - small bulky man is cynical and isolates himself from the world. His violent, unresolved trauma prevents him from indulging in the work that he used to love. He has a short temper, replies with snark even to the cops, knows how to fight, will fight even if you're twice his size, is both street smart and generally intelligent for his detective work, is a little weak for Pretty Women but stands his ground nontheless.

Olga from Tout en haut du monde/Long way north. What can I say?? Fat mean MILF runs an inn by herself, puts little bourgeoise protagonist in her place when she disrespects her involuntarily, knows how to read a senior sailor's navigation plans and maps, immediately offers help and guidance to get justice, lies to the cops, is on casual first-name basis with Big Gruff Sailor That Everyone Respects. She's tough and caring, she values hard work and honour, she's an intimidating, massive woman who snaps back by default, but knows when someone needs, deserves to be cared for. Olga is so deeply respected by the local sailors that when Sacha disrespects her, everyone fucking pauses and side-eyes her.

Tell me this is not the last thing you'll see before your immediate death. Anyways please watch Tout en haut du monde. in french. or i'll bite you very hard

19. 3 animals you’d love to take care of in your house

A cat...... I want a cat. I need a soft purring creature that can sleep and cuddle with me.

Eventually I'd like to own a dog. But it's far far away in my life plans - I just love big dogs and I'd like to have a big dumb doggo in my life again, someday.

It might not count as something "in my house", but I love koi fish!!!! I go apeshit about them I love touching them and I love when they go and bloop your hand and brush past you to get stroked! I'd love to have enough space to keep koi fish!

“3 things… ask” list

[kronoose]

Tw death mentioned spoilers for EP 68 of Dndads

A young teen sat in front of two graves two bouquets of fresh flowers on each

This wasn't an uncommon sight it was actually more rare to not see the Teen by these two particular graves. " I'm back guys sorry for being out so long the shop keep was being a jerk" he set each bouquet carefully in vases "Darryl is doing ok he misses his dad-son also I've convinced Henry to allow the twins to give me tattoos I'm going to get my wings and visit you " Luka chuckled softly to himself and rests a knife next to each smiling fondly at the one his brother used to wield the story of him slicing Glenn's tendon popping to mind he wishes he'd been there to see it happen.

"we miss you so much dad " he leaned on the grave belonging to Walter the immoral

He looked up at the graying clouds and sighed softly "looks like I'm in for a long night of keeping watch over you two"

Luka closed his blue eyes that were darkening almost imperceptibly as his wolf ears shoot up at an unexpected sound. the teen glanced around snarling his teeth slightly sharper than average as Luka hands the reins of the body over to Jake who unsheathed the knives in a smooth motion "show yourself" a deep voice came from the teen in no way matching the anxiety and grief filled voice from moments ago

There was no response as Jake called out Once more "show yourself!" His eyes glowed slightly as he casts detect magic trying to see who ever dared enter his sanctuary and final resting place of the only two people he loved in this life

A yellowish outline of a humanoid ligths up around the back side of the graves

"Please stand down " the figure put up their hands "Im hear to see my father"

"so you're the fucker that broke dads heart"Luka gently places a coin in a swear jar"he talked about you alot "

"my name is Rolhim it took me a long time to find my father"he lowered his hands

Luka scoffed slightly "he wanted to look for you ya know but he respected your casting him aside like trash after he was cursed"

"you wouldn't understand how much of a shock it was he turned into a bullywug" Rolhim snapped at the younger teen

"a shock?? That's your reason for abandoning your father" Luka stood decisively between Rolhim and Walter's grave

"move aside you have no right to keep me from him"

"I have every right I stayed with him from the moment I met him he is the kindest most badass soul he cared for paeden more than anything " he took a deep breath the way that Henry had taught him "I Burried him not you gods know where the fuck you were"

"he's my father I'm his heir I deserve to be here as much as anyone else in this shitty town "

"I'm giving you 6seconds to leave or I will be adding your name to list of people I've Burried" he holds up a hand counting down while readying a spell

Rolhim stood his ground "try me"

"I saw this used on my other dad aprently it hurts like a bitch" he snapped his fingers at the other with a flick of his wrist a burst of necrotic energy hit Rolhim sending him doubling over and crying out in pain "hmm seems like Glenn wasn't exaggerating" a dark grin passed across the teens face

"you bastard what did you do to me!"

"I think it's called harm now go you're not welcome here"

Rolhim scrambled away

Luka smirked softly and sets down both of his daggers once again one on each grave

He set up tarps over each grave sighing softly as the rain started to fall

I found this piccrew and was like ah yes despite it being 3am time write angst

I think I really got paedens lil shit/affectionate. vibes

[having-conniptions]

KinnPorsche ep 7 + Side Story Rewatch Rambles:

Idk why the Side Story isn't in the actual episode I think it's so important for the development of the relationships - both the VegasPorsche fuckery and the KinnPorsche softness are SO IMPORTANT

THIS IS THEIR FIRST TALK AFTER THE DRAMATIC GOODBYE KISS AND KINN TAKING A BULLET FOR PORSCHE

Aka this is where feelings are acted on AND EMBRACED instead of being pushed down right away AND without a dramatic, emotionally charged situation as the catalyst. Just soft, wholesome cuddling, hand-holding and hair-petting. No alcohol, drugs or adrenaline clouding their judgment. The conscious decision to be together like this - loving, caring, romantic. As a couple. THIS IS A BIG STEP FOR THEM I'M TELLING YA

Also the phone call between Porsche and Chay 🥺❤️❤️

Ok on to the actual episode

I know this is gonna be a good one

Idk how grenades work but certainly not Like That

Vegas wearing red I- 🥵

Oh god Vegas getting out his little torture briefcase

Pete's face says "he looks kinda good covered in blood"

I need that necklace Vegas is wearing

"Promise me, no matter what happens, you must return to me." ❤️❤️❤️ SEE WITHOUT THE SIDE STORY IT WOULD BE WEIRD TO SEE THEM ACTING LIKE A PROPER COUPLE NOW BECAUSE THERE WOULD BE NOTHING TO BRIDGE THE GAP BETWEEN "EMOTIONALLY CHARGED FAREWELL KISS" AND "WHOLESOME SOFT COUPLE BEHAVIOR"

Yes I am very passionate about this why do you ask

Vegas' face when Porsche doesn't show up alone lmao

VEGAS IN YET ANOTHER RED SHIRT MMMMM

The minor family residence is actually so pretty

Awww lil bit of Ta & Vegas interaction

Ta & Porsche awkwardness LMAO

VEGAS SIPPING RED WINE WHILE WEARING RED VELVET OH LORD HAVE MERCY

I think Chay's ringtone is the same as the alarm on my phone lol

Hahahaha the messy house is so relatable

Korn your apple metaphor is fucking stupid

Kim gifting Chay a guitar awww 😭❤️😭❤️

PROTECT CHAY AT ALL COSTS

Detective Kim back in action!! And he sees all the pictures on Chay's wall and the shirt and he actually finds it kinda endearing awwww

"Do you like anyone?" Real smooth, Kim.

THIS HURTS I K OW HOW IT'S GONNA END SO IT HURTS

Kinn is jealous and Porsche is ENJOYING IT

Oooooo Vegas spilling the tea 👀

Tay 🥺❤️❤️❤️

"Looking for something?" 👀

Balcony scene my beloved

"When you're done, return it to me. The gun... and yourself." 😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️

"I'm not just carrying one gun, you know" AND PORSCHE'S EYEBROW LMAOO

The way the sexy music just stops and Why Don't You Stay starts playing idk if I should laugh or cry

Idk if I'm a fan of the scene where Vegas speaks English for a long time - as much as I love Bible I feel like his voice sounds too soft and it makes his acting seem kinda flat (which I obviously can't judge when he's speaking Thai but in this scene I've kinda noticed it)

AGAIN I LOVE BIBLE AND I THINK HE'S INCREDIBLY TALENTED AND HARD-WORKING AND JUST OVERALL AMAZING, I just think he comes across as a little flat in some parts this scene (idk the lines feel like they should be delivered with more arrogance/confidence but that's just my opinion)

Vegas speaking Italian, now THAT'S hot

Porsche and Vegas have such good chemistry, such a shame Vegas is forcing it (though I don't think he's completely faking)

Pete as Kinn's spy keeping an eye on Vegas and Porsche is so good lol

I need the scene of Porsche dancing, drinking and smoking as a live wallpaper on my desktop please and thank you ❤️❤️❤️ idk what it is about that scene, it's so satisfying, aesthetically pleasing, attractive? Idk it's just great. The music really matches the vibe and Porsches dancing and the editing match the music I just love it

Especially that first shot where he empties his glass and the light hits his tits just right lmao

"Let's go outside" *takes him to the bathroom*

Porsche's triceps as he leans on the counter APOOOO ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US

JEALOUS KINN TO THE RESCUE

"DO YOU NOT SEE THE RING ON MY FINGER?" 🔥🔥🔥

I can't focus on them fighting I'm distracted by Apo's arms HOLY SHIT

"I shouldn't have loved a crappy guy like you" LOVE CONFESSION LOVE CONFESSION

This scene tho. THIS SCENE.

The way Kinn goes straight for Porsche's tit - same, babe

The lighting is so beautiful aaaa

The most unrealistic thing is that there is no mess whatsoever, no clean-up, nothing xD

But the hug??? Beautiful. <3

I guess in a way we have Vegas to thank for this huh?

[screaming2thevoids]

My review no one asked for:

Y'all...It was keffing good. Please, abandon me on a planet where men are pierced in places that take us to the final frontier.

Okay I gotta get this out of the way—my dumb imagination made me picture Farli as like 16. So at first I was like, ew I don’t want to read about a teenager—but they addressed that RIGHT away. Once I got past that—damn I really had fun with this book.

Barbarians Choice gave us sci-fi space Avatar exploration vibes, ✨spice✨ as well as more lore (which you know I love).

Let’s keffing get into it, (spoilers ahead):

Farli is a great character imo, she is not super naïve about sex however she is incredibly naïve about trusting strangers. Here’s the thing though, I found it to be almost believable due to the fact that the Mesakkah look like them. That being said, put some clothes on girl, this planet is not a place you can greet the world tits out.

Mardok, I find relatable even though he is an ex-soldier with PTSD, major abandonment issues and a jacob's ladder on his dick. Which, by the way, the minute this description hit my eyes, I was like--thank you for your service.

What did I love?

❤️lore lore lore!!! In-between all the smut and fanfic-like storylines, I feel like a detective piecing together what happened to this first group of Sakh explorers.

❤️ Farli appearing out of the woods like some feral goddess and Mardok thinking he was hallucinating was equal parts hilarious and kind of cool? Idk I'm still torn about her being tits out all the time...

❤️ no one died! Um, hello humans, did we not learn anything from Pocahontas????? I was so tense every time one of these ppl whipped out a gun or spear.

❤️speaking of guns, CHOMPY LIVESSSS 🐎 when Chompy got shot I was like "GET THAT HORSE TO A MED BAY IMMEDIATELY"

❤️ BIOLOGICAL MYSTERIES HAVE BEEN SOLVED!!!!! THANK YOU for finally telling us why the Sakh women don't have clits. RIP to all the girlies on this planet whose cavemen partners never figured it out 😞 ALSO we now know what the hell the spurs are for. Good on you Liz, for being your blunt self <3

❤️ Mardok's "aha" moment of "why the fuck am I forcing Farli to abandon everything for me". The minute they decided to separate (which we all knew wasn't going to happen) I was curious as to what the resolution was going to be.

What are my criticisms?? Do I have any??

Yes I do. Just one. Just one that made me care more than any other loophole, naïve moment of trust Farli had for anyone on that ship, or anything else in this book:

😡BEK ASKING FOR THEM TO BRING HIM WOMEN AT THE END OF THIS BOOK😡

Something tells me the next book is going to center around Bek's redemption. I don't even need to look for the title of the next one. it's gonna be something like "Barbarian asks for slaves, but they say sorry and its ok!" "Barbarian Didn't mean it!" "Barbarian was SAD though😢"

FUCK YOU BEK. You should have had the BALLS to get on that ship and fight capitalism to meet someone. GO FIND YOUR OWN WOMEN or DIE SINGLE. Bek has had some MAJOR up and down moments for me but this one, THIS ONE?! This just made me almost throw down my phone.

Somewhere in this barbarian universe there will be possible kidnapping, justification for slavery or the stranding of more women because some hopeless bastard had blue balls. Literally and figuratively.

So what's my ✨Final Rating✨

🌶️2.5 maybe even a 3 for the pure reason that someone, somewhere, had to look up whether or not dick piercings were real

⭐3.5/5 I genuinely really loved how this book made this world feel bigger. The romance was fun and I will probably reread this one. Dare I say....one of my favorite IPB books so far?!

I'm not gonna lie.

I'm scared to read the next one. BUT I will go in, with an open mind 😌

Until next time, thanks for reading!

[unabashedly-faulty]

I have definitely switched. A few times.

On main at that.

Curses.

How is this possible lmao.

Also earlier I knew parts were shifting around because nothing felt connected to our vices. The music I know we made to encourage us was Nakomasssss ohhhhhh (had a mid sentence epiphany) and she gone so the music doesn’t speak to us as much. At least her choices. The playlist has some of our stuff on it from these present partsss sooooooooooo my fucking gosh. I’m getting better at this.

Cloudy Day- Emolita/Trish

Mood - Trish/Viv(Akasha)/Chris

Vibe - Caprie

✨ - Caprie

Okay the bad bitches are here. Understand. To feel the connection to music I’ve gotta play y’all’s stuff. Bad bitches equal the more protective parts. The confident parts. The vibes.

It is so massive what neuropathways become inactive when parts switch out the action panel. Stella showed me when I was driving how to detect a major switch and that is when I feel untethered. When my cells do not react to the music. It is literally what saves us every time. The music. What makes us feel like we are alive.

Please remind me to play the music when the horrors come. I think asking might help. Asking myself. My brain. Which is the center of my system. My brain went through so much to build masks to keep me safe that untangling us might never happen. And I want myself to know that is okay.

I forced you to learn and change and grow because our life depended on it. Our son’s life depended on it. His joy and happiness depended on it. Ours did too. But our brain was not supposed to work so hard so fast. It’s unnatural. And there was damage done on top of everything we’d thought damaged us already. There’s a 5 year span for us to relive. It’s gonna be painful. Idk how it will present but lately it’s attached to certain things. It’s all mixed up. There’s an inclination to let it flow without the need to fix parts. That I need to let you all feel it and have the emotional expression you need. Without jumping to save you.

Wait so de we each have to save ourselves now? Will that take pressure off of our brain? Reduce our symptoms? If we each get the healing specific to us, the love specific to us individually?

That is the consensus as I’ve observed your interactions with the support system.

Also maybe not save ourselves. Is having support counterproductive to us? We’ve built this defense up and not we have people, do we count on them? Is it okay to count and then not?

Hmm. I think so because we are capable of helping ourselves but it’s nice to practice reaching out too. We’ve perfected or maybe submitted our rejection response. I hope we don’t pay for that. Is feeling rejected healthy? Because I put that away in 2019, in 2016 too when people told us he cheated on us. You know what you’re fucking bad ass. When the green monster came up in 2016 after you heard that you literally YEEETED it out and idk if normal people can do that. You looked at your baby once the “check his phone and what does she looks like” voices entered the chat. That was a really significant moment and we didn’t even know we were a system. Our baby needed us. We are really a ball of fucking love bro. Was fighting mental illness and still had to mother and run a house and go to work and deal with devastation of heartbreak and abuse.

#thankyouforyourgenes because you’re good for nothing else. May our sun never become anything like you.

So manyyy thoughts. Glad we’re all still here. This helps me better meet our needs of comfort.

[eclipsecrowned]

Rubs my hands together and then slaps the names of all your TVC OC muses down on the table. Give Us Halloween Facts!!! // @teardownheaven

Candel Silverio: Victoriana chic! It's not her standard look at all, stiff ruby brocade and deep gorgeous midnight shades, but Halloween is a busy time for the Mystic Alley. She has to as much dress for the occasion as dress to impress, to sell a story and an eyecatch for her little shop. The spooky old world madame of her dominion of back rooms and candlelit parlors. She's in a lush evening gown with lace elements and a corset that's made of real bone -- but please don't ask after what creatures bones make the inner workings. Bonus is her alligator familiar is curled up in her little bed with a novelty headband festooned to her head. She's a kitty cat!

Josette St. Yves: Going full drag! Has the drawn on stubble, has the shaded adams apple, has the shoulder pads and the slicked back hair and is just selling it. Like her bestie the aforementioned Candel, is going for a more historic look, with matching brocade vest and a long coat the color of sin. The dandy to Candel's noble lady. If you detect in her Vampire verse that she's imitating her 'older brother' slightly, no the fuck you do not. She's not here to sell anything or impress, she's just in town to have some fun and take her oldest friend out for a drink once the shop closes down. Probably has on some era extant accessories courtesy of her Maker.

Karin Lindholm: She's working tonight. She's got responsibilities. Halloween is a fucking nightmare on the Island. Don't ask her to dress up. She's going to do it anyway, but don't ask her to do it. It has to be done spur of the moment as she's throwing her clothes on. Cream button up blouse, dark pants, overlapping dual belts, high riding boots, an old capelet and most importantly, a single earring. No one has any idea what in Hell she is supposed to be. This was a calculated risk she took and she is hilariously bad at math. Only asks if someone has read Mistborn once before feeling too cringe to ask again. Don't worry about her outfit. None of you know what a Vin is.

Kris Lindholm: To the shock of absolutely no one, Lestat. However, she's very proud of herself this year, as a lot of the outfit is either thrifted or DIY'd. Shes becoming a real punk step by step. Spent several evenings at her bestie Mahmoud's house borrowing his mom's sewing machine to get the velvet coat made. It walks a fine line between the iconic Tom Cruise 'Interview' look and some of the in-universe 'IRL' Lestat's music video ensembles. It's everything she ever wanted in a look, but her hair's going to be begging for mercy between the bleaching dyeing and color correcting and then curling it for the authenticity. She's also gone heavy on the contour and makeup effects. Who is she.

Susan Howard: Susan is 50+ years old. Susan is a professional and a fearsome hunter of the undead. She does not have time to dress up for it. If anything, she's spending a night in, drawing up plans and having a festive spicy drink. She's in her knit sweatpants, a half-buttoned flannel, and a lovingly woven old shawl from another life. Her hair is pulled up into a utilitarian bun with a pen forgotten at the base. She's poised over her desk, reviewing building plans, cross-referencing historical records, the sounds of a classic horror movie totally ignored but whispering away from another room. It's simultaneously cozy dark academia and subtly offputting, the whole vibe of her rented room at odds with itself.

Yalizaveta Molyboga: Naughty nun. It amused her. She's played many roles in her time and costumes are a strange sort of comfort to her, her nightly haircut hidden away under a wimple and her marble thighs exposed to the cool night air. She was never Catholic in life, and was turned as a scrawny serf girl, so she has no real idea why she chose this, but she's having fun. Moving among living rabble jubilating in the streets, Vieta's having a fun time herself, just enjoying the vibe and roaming part. On several occasions she has offered passerby 'Body of Christ' via a shot glass and the contents of a vodka bottle strapped to her waist. Sufficed to say, she's a hit and a features on social media feeds throughout the night.

[gudansoo]

hmm, kdrama romance recommendations for someone who enjoyed the glory and flower of evil...

the innocent man (2012, kbs) - i second the rec here. incredibly propulsive with characters who are simultaneously full of rage and a deep need to be loved and understood. the central romance features maroo, a once promising med student who goes to jail for his girlfriend/crush, only for her to abandon him. after prison he totally transforms and is bent on revenge. he plans to seduce his ex's new stepdaughter, the delightfully rude and arrogant eunki, only to fall for her after she tries to kill him (and herself). available to watch on viki.

my beautiful bride (2015, ocn) - don't be fooled by its description as a crime + thriller. it's actually a deeply romantic look at the lengths one man will go to be with the person he's in love with. the plot is really twisty, but essentially dohyung and jooyoung are married, but have lots of secrets between them, secrets they both keep to protect their love for each other. one day jooyoung goes missing, and thus ensues a chase wherein doyoung, at first a seemingly mild mannered banker, fights his way through all kinds of underworld gang violence to get back to jooyung. available on the internet.

come and hug me (2018, tvn) - please note the central romance here is not fucked up. namoo and nakwon are very very very sweet and kind to each other; they're one anothers' solace. but everything *about*/*around* their romance is fucked up. cause namoo's dad is a serial killer who murdered nakwon's parents and almost murdered her. my fav part is how self sacrificing and devoted namoo is (very much like the romantic heroes in both the glory and flower of evil), but also the way the show keeps hinting that he kicked his dad's ass when he was like 14. available to watch on viki.

yong pal (2015, sbs) - an interesting pairing with the glory, i think. taehyun is a doctor and to pay for his sick sister's medical bills he moonlights as a gang doctor. yeojin is a plutocrat/chaebol whose brother tried to kill her and failing that then placed her in a medically induced coma. taehyun discovers this and helps her escape. at first they're all lovely dovey in a church let's run away together, but then yeojin's desire for (murderous) revenge takes over and the central question between them becomes will she choose her revenge or her love for taehyun (v different from the glory in this regard; alas, different times). available on viki.

the smile has left your eyes (2018, tvn) - a korean remake of the popular jdrama (which i've heard is truly deliciously fucked up), the story follows a detective who thinks a young man, moo young, is involved in a murder. mooyoung is hot, mysterious, sarcastic, and aloof; and his mysteriousness, sracastic-ness, and aloofness feed into his hotness and vice versa. the problem for the detective is mooyoung gets involved with his Innocent Little Sister, and the two develop a kind of obsession with each other that's as much about how different they are as it is about how they both feel like outcasts/have been hurt. available to watch on viki.

heartless city (2013, jtbc) - not sure the romance is entirely successful here, and it's not the main thrust of the plot, though it is prominent. the premise is a cop goes undercover in the gang world, but the lines between being a cop and being part of the underworld community get blurred (think internal affairs/the departed). he's known only as "doctor's son." soomin (i can't remember if she's a cop?) goes undercover as a sex worker in the underworld to discover who murdered her sister; she and doctor's son fall for each other, all while the cops (not undercover) try to pin a murder on doctor's son. (i really hope i'm remembering this correctly.) watch more for the vibes than for any romance. available on viki.

lost (2021, jtbc) - this one's a straight up melo, no thriller aspects to it at all. bujeong is 40 and her life is not going the way she planned. she's alienated from her husband, who doesn't understand why she's always upset and angry. she's not; she's deeply depressed. about a year ago her employer assaulted her, causing her to have a miscarriage; she then lost her white collar job and now works as a cleaner. kangjae is an aimless, isolated, late-twenties sex worker whose close friend commits suicide. that close friend was once a client of bujeong's. he and bujeong meet (her elderly father lives in the same building as kangjae), and they begin an emotional affair. available on the internet.

la dolce vita (2008, mbc) - yoon hyejin is married to an adulterer who's cheating on her with a younger woman. to stay true to her own romantic sensibilities, she files for divorce, then has to navigate a public workforce when she's spent her whole adulthood being a mother and homemaker. she also falls for an emotionally volatile but equally romantic possible (probable) murderer. kinda maybe available on the internet? also i copied this description from an old post.

to my beloved (2012, jtbc) - another one with no thriller aspect, but also lowkey one of my favorite romantic melos. lowkey as in i've been very loud about it. chanjoo and jinsae have been married for 3 years. then chanjoo's ex starts coming around again, and a young woman jinsae used to know starts coming around, too. jinsae has a full blown emotional affair *while being deeply in love with his wife* (!!?!!!?! it's *fascinating*), while chanjoo wrestles with self loathing that stems from/was exacerbated by how her ex dumped her right after a miscarriage for a chaebol. unfortunately not available (for streaming) online :(

crazy for you (2007, sbs) - chaejoon kills jinyeong's husband in a car accident. after he gets out of prison they coincidentally meet and fall in love. then she finds out. also unfortunately not available (for streaming) online :(

for more psychological romantic melos with messed up relationships, you could check out mid aughts shows--stuff like something happened in bali, i'm sorry i love you, que sera sera; i haven't watched these cause they're prob too dark for me. i cannot in good conscience recommend misty, though it is a mystery thriller (kinda) romance with a messy marriage, but like....that ending. oof.

you can also take a look at my kdrama lists tag, and i tag everything if you're interested in some gifs to check the show out first before investing real time.

hi need some korean romance tv show recs <3