#but painfully aware of the fact that he's doomed by the narrative

[transrevolutions]

as much as I can appreciate the interpretation of enjolras as being a naturally kinda quiet and calm guy, I tend to prefer the idea that he had to teach himself to be charming. he isn't necessarily cruel by nature, but he's intense. the force of his passion can scare even his closest allies as well as his enemies so he learns to file the edge of his knife sharper and smaller and sharper and smaller until he can hide it in a bouquet of flowers.

[infizero]

this image haunted my brain when i was trying to fall asleep last night so i had to make it

[roachliquid]

When it comes to H.P. Lovecraft, one of the most common mistakes that I see people make is interpreting his writing through a Helleno-Christian lens. Specifically, there is a strong tendency to lean on the idea of the universe as hierarchical, with the nebulous but undoubtedly powerful gods at the top of the cosmic order, and man - that weak, writhing worm that he is - the arrogant fool, the sorcerer's apprentice, who steps out of line in his pursuit of knowledge and power, and is punished accordingly by the forces that possess it.

This is an understandable mistake. Hubris is absolutely a major theme in Lovecraft's writing, and he touches often on the idea of Knowledge That Man Was Not Meant To Know, and the folly of humans acting like they can simply mess with whatever they want and get away with it. On the surface, it doesn't sound all that different from your mom going "NEVER, EVER mess with a ouija board! You'll invite evil spirits to take control of you!"

But what Lovecraft was criticizing wasn't some defiance of a Grand Cosmic Order, or the imaginary sin of "playing G*d". He was addressing a very specific brand of arrogance, and one that he was very well-acquainted with: colonialist entitlement.

Don't get me wrong, Lovecraft was no anti-colonialist champion. He held the same racist beliefs about minorities as any of his similarly-reviled contemporaries, such as Rudyard Kipling or Winston Churchill. But while they and other people of their ilk saw colonialism as their born right and moral duty, Lovecraft took a more pragmatic view of the situation.

During his life, Lovecraft wrestled often with the concept of white entitlement. He believed for multiple decades that he himself was part of some superior subgroup, inherently more deserving of wealth and power. But he was also very well aware that entitlement didn't automatically reap rewards. There was no cosmic balance awarding greatness to the people who sought to claim it; the universe simply did not give two shits what wealthy white racists thought they should be doing. Colonization projects could fail as easily as they could succeed. Wealth was much easier to lose than it was to win. Despite what many of his contemporaries seemed to believe, the forces that managed the universe simply did not care.

This theme permeates his work so powerfully that it's difficult to single out specific examples. At the Mountains of Madness is an obvious choice - a story that tells the history of people who literally created all life on earth, only to fall to the banal inevitability of the Ice Age. Both The Moon-Bog and The Doom That Came To Sarnath depict people who decide they can simply purge the land they want to use of unwanted elements - in the latter case, an entire people - only to invite the vengeance of ancient forces.

It's important to note that H.P. Lovecraft was an atheist. His entire attitude toward religion seemed to be that it was an interesting intellectual curiosity, and a useful plot device that he relied on frequently - but he gave no truck to common Christian ideals like objective good and evil, or the notion that people should hold themselves back simply out of respect for their mortal limitations. The fact that consequences often come from gods in his stories is a product of willing engagement in fantastic ideas, not a genuine belief in humanity's cosmic inferiority. And in many cases, even those gods are just metaphors for the horrors he really believed in - the natural forces that unseated the insisted-on narrative of the white man's greatness.

And that, in his writing, was the real Horrible Truth. The Secret That Man Was Not Meant To Know, because facing it meant facing that the confidence with which his peers lived their lives was based in self-deception - which he felt sure would agonize them as painfully as it agonized him. Lovecraft was a man torn between a comforting illusion and a hard reality, and he wrote about it a lot.

[locution-youngster-enjoyer]

Hey guys another one of these things (I’m insane I’m crazy)

Further explanation under the cut:

(Tw: suggestive)

Neither of them are exactly out to the public. Beau actively goes out of his way to hide any sort of relationship he may have ever had with any men. Seymour’s situation is funnier because he’s not hiding it like Beau is, he just never brings it up. Like he’ll be telling a story and the conversation would basically go:

“Bla bla- and this guy I hooked up with this one time-“

“Wait you’re gay??”

“Huh? Not really, anyway-“

He then never elaborates.

Seymour is the horniest mf imaginable (not really, but he’s got a high libido). Beau is not against it, but he’s nowhere near Seymour’s freakiness (I hate how I said that)

Seymour is way more touchy then Beau is. In public, they’ll hold hands at most usually, but it depends.

They’ve both got issues that they haven’t professionally worked out- I’ve explained in my AU that the state of their relationship is messy. They go from friends to lovers to enemies back to lovers. Once they settled back down together, they both considering getting therapy.

Before they get back together, it’s important to know they never got over initially breaking up. While they both have had their moments of trying to move on, the whole time they felt horrible because deep down they were still in love with each other.

They are doomed by MY narrative. Objectively, I think I put Seymour through more shit-

I should clarify: they don’t really spoon. They cling to each other

So the creator of this chart explained that the weapon vs wielder thing is basically who’s the protector and who’s the protected. While they’ve gotten better at balancing out who is who, Seymour is way more defensive in general, while Beau isn’t.

Beau sleeps in robes in the warmer months and silky long sleeved pajamas in the winter. Seymour for a while didn’t bother with pajamas of any kind and usually just sleeps in his underwear or with his clothes still on (Beau bought him new clothes to sleep in)

Seymour acts more jealous of Beau going off to do things without him, but it’s mostly just the separation anxiety from how long they’ve been apart from each other.

They’ve both got some nice rizz (I hate how I said this as well)

They’re both in weird places in society and are used to talking to different kinds of people, but Beau is generally more awkward when it comes to small talk.

What keeps them together?:

In terms of canon things that keep them together, there’s nothing but implications because they’ve got one interaction but it is full of such drama. Also I’ve written an entire backstory for them because I’m crazy about these two.

What is keeping them/kept them apart?:

I’ve explained their whole backstory in another post but I’ll explain their breakup part again here.

Basically, Seymour grew up much poorer, while Beau’s family were filthy rich. They had kept their initial relationship a secret from most people, but since they wanted to get married, Seymour thought it was best if they told their families, which Beau was hesitant about. When they told Beau’s parents, they basically insulted Seymour for being poor. This pissed Seymour off, not because of what the parents said, but because Beau refused to speak up against them and defend them, which made Seymour call the wedding off on the spot.

Afterwards, Seymour ran away from home, and since no one knew where he went, Beau was completely crushed and assumed he had died. After several years, they both picked up acting jobs, and while they never really interacted, they were both made painfully aware of each others existences as they both grew in popularity. While Beau never said anything, he was kinda upset to hear that Seymour resorted to crime.

So in short: the fact they could never really talk to each other normally and settle their problems is what kept them apart for so long.

Poorly describe their meetcute (how they met):

Consenting to be waterboarded

No. I’m not clarifying.

List their reductive fandom tropes/fandom appeal

Uhhh- enemies to lovers i guess is what they are

Touch stuff (Seymour)

Like I mentioned, Seymour is way more touchy, whoever there are some exceptions.

I didn’t mention this in my long backstory post, but Seymour has several scars on his head from getting his hair yanked to much when he was a kid. That, plus him being afraid of other people ruining his hair, makes him very hesitant to let anyone touch his head.

While he doesn’t dislike having his legs touched, it more depends the context. He fidgets and stims primarily with his legs.

He’s also very defensive and grew up with a rough background and in a rough neighborhood, so in certain contexts he may view it as getting attacked (particularly in the green areas)

Touch stuff (Beau)

Beau is not as touchy as Seymour and has more boundaries.

Beau in my AU is a germaphobe. He typically wears gloves, so holding his hand is fine, but he gets a lot more reluctant to touch anything he’s not sure is clean when his gloves are off. This also applies to his face. While he doesn’t mind someone holding his cheek, or their hand in his hair, he want nothing near his mouth.

With Seymour, he loves having his waist held. Plus, he’s a dancer and used to do a lot of ballet, so he’s really used to it.

That’s it, always love getting to rant about the gay show hosts.

[reiiishii]

@biskael replied to your post “good to know the feeling is mutual, Quilge.”:

it's more like -- he doesn't know what he sees in her because it's all ... surface level , from a distance . he doesn't understand . he don't know what's going on , & he surely doesn't know the lore . the grandmaster & this ... sad little quincy woman ???

ooooooh you've opened pandora's box now. (Grabs Reb at the same time bc this is their jugo i speak of) @hxbiris bECAUSE LIKE- MAN I TOTALLY GET WHERE HE'S COMING FROM TOO CAUSE OFC, YOU HAVE THEIR LEADER OF THE STERNRITTERS, THE GRANDMASTER. And then she's basically nothing in comparison, granted she's a rather strong quincy & her extended family is practically nobles in quincy society. (i need to write about the Gringoire family ngl but anyway MMMOVING ON.)

They're both on the opposite sides of the spectrum, it works for a while...until you get down to them as people. Because when it comes down to it, Jugram's been LONG gone, he's been given power and he doesn't want to let it go. Whereas NOAH is someone who just wants to see him happy, but her own goals are aligned with freedom and Yhwach's downfall. The so-called deal breaker of things, granted her disdain for Yhwach is VERY present and evident in how she addresses the quincy king... Noah's always been somewhat of a free spirit, whereas Jugram has only ever known what others have taught him or he has experienced and been told.

With Reb's Jugram, SHE was his choice, they have have polar opposite personalities but SHE has treated him like a human being, not a weapon or the grandmaster, just *Jugram.* She's never once referred to him as anything or anyone else. Kindness from the past onward really paid off, and while it's...super SUPER odd surface level wise it really does boil down to their past together & how well they know each other as well as a nUMBER of other things.

I would also like to mention that Noah is VERY well aware of how far gone Jugram is, she's just blindly hopeful of the fact that SOMEWHERE in there she knows is the person she knew in the past but she is painfully aware he is gone. And it's nice to live in a state of denial for a certain timeframe, she knows full well near the end of TYBW it has to come to an end because they're both on opposite sides of the war, that one of them is going to have to come out alive or they might both die. (Reb and I have both written Noah and Jugram actually battling near the end of tybw and it is as heartbreaking as one may expect.) And of course, we know the outcome of this. Jugram dies, Noah Survives.

It's a cruel cycle of 'doomed by the narrative to die' and 'doomed by the narrative to stay alive', 'what could eurydice complain of that she had been loved?', WHATEVER you want to label them. Surface level- you don't get it, it's complicated and downright odd how someone so powerful could offer his hand to someone so pathetic (At times), but when you know the details and just get down to brass tacks it makes sense.....

[mrssarablack]

I’ve been quiet.

I realize this. I’ve become painfully aware of my lack of voice in regards to activism or hot takes on the news. For the duration of June I stuck to activists posts and news, which has never been a thing I’m super vocal about on this page. I just happened to move my content over at either the exact right time to facilitate the shift of content, or the exact wrong time to keep to my regular scheduled programming running. Either way, I’m not sorry. Nor do I expect I’ll be able to keep my mouth (or rather my keyboard) shut long when things feel overwhelmingly outrageous in the real world. 

My intent going into the month was to back off a little on the political posts and take back the “safe space” I have here for cultivated fun in what is usually a very chaotic day to day life. I would continue the activism but perhaps less so on here. That’s not to say I wouldn’t actively be doing other things. I’m not yielding my support by any means.  I had intended to take this month to mostly focus my support of the BLM community through prioritizing putting my money where my mouth was failing to find words. Shifting from broad political posts about the injustices to instead turning it towards better educating myself, actually getting through the large stack of books I intend to get through, prioritizing purchasing items from black owned businesses where it makes sense to, donating to the charities and organizations that I can. This is the quiet work that is also necessary for good allyship. But then I found myself wrestling with the growing feeling that quiet can lead to appearance that whatever I was presenting in June was instead a performative allyship.

That’s hardly the case at all.

At the end of June I made a joke about trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever July 2020 had in store for us. I was not prepared. 

I met the reality of July 2020 four days later, like so many of us, and I was not even close to prepared for what was coming and I froze in the wake of it. I was not prepared to watch snippets of the Orange Man’s speech at Rushmore. The speech, that without even dicing his words was a hate speech. It was a proclamation, of sorts, against the citizens who were, and are still are, actively protesting for the BLM movement throughout the country. It was a formal declaration of “us vs them” in a way he has not actually done before. The intent is always there, his supporters will forever deny it, but it is. His own history shows he has always been a racist. That this man cares more for tributes, than the people he is meant to govern. Meanwhile, Native protesters were yelled at, by Trump supporters, to “go back to where they came from.” In the wake of this speech and the juxtaposition of it being given on stolen lands while the people who see them as sacred were accosted... I found very little to be proud of on July 4th. 

By the time I processed that moment, we had sped straight into ICE declaring that they would not extend the rule allowing foreign students to continue their education here because of the mandate against online learning. This rule makes sense, if we weren’t in the middle of a pandemic. But we are. 

Everything about this decision was cruel and xenophobic. It didn’t make sense economically, considering how much money Universities get in tuition from their foreign students. It didn’t make sense logistically, when so many students wouldn’t be able to get back home. Our immigration centers are already a fucking mess, but that’s a deep dive for another time. All it was, was an attempt to strong arm schools into accepting the administration's stance that Covid-19 is fully under control and that everything should go back to normal. It is the same reason they are threatening to cut funding for public educational institutions if they do not open completely in the fall. Yeah, kids at school is a far more ideal scenario than online classes, but not at the risk of their or their teachers' lives. The schools see that. The administration doesn’t. They don’t care. They simply want to force their narrative in whatever way they can. 

Upon a lawsuit, they walked back their proclamation of denying foreign students their education but, from what I have seen, there are still a lot of things up in the air. From accounts I’ve read on reddit the administration may choose to apply the former ruling to  first year students who may have invested in a future they now won’t get. They may deny foreigners the right to apply to after graduation work programs that formerly they were allowed to be in provided they had the right visas. If they did this they will claim it is to provide american’s the best chance at new work first. America first is ringing through this whole thing, and millions are left wondering how this is all going to actually pan out. 

Let me reiterate now the fact that we are still in the middle of a pandemic. This is a fact. A fact that the administration wants to deny till every last one of us has encountered this illness personally. The Orange Man is actively swatting Fauci away like he is nothing more than an annoying fly. He doesn’t like the “doom and gloom” truth of this virus so he denies it. He is actively pushing to block new money for further testing and tracing for the CDC because he doesn’t “like the numbers”. The CDC no longer has control of collecting patient data to help track covid-19. Something that has been used so that people in authoritative positions can make adequate decisions in regards to the virus. Less information will lead to more spread. Florida is now the new epicenter and the sunbelt, as a whole, looks bad. Things are not good and we’re still fighting with fellow citizens who don’t want to wear a mask. A simple act to help protect others is a political stance. I don’t understand it, and I’m not going to pretend or even try to. It’s not a hoax. The virus is real and it is deadly. Even those that recover from it have had lasting damage to their lungs among other side effects. 

But I digress, instead I will now get to the reason that brought me to this very long political monologue: in Portland, Federal agents fired tear gas on protesters after declaring it a riot. This is not the first time this has happened and it won’t be the last. Allegedly, these federal agents are part of the customs and border protection agency, and they also took protesters up into unmarked vans and detained them. Citizens who are executing their right to protest were kidnapped by federal agents. Think about that. This is why the declaration of ANTIFA being a terrorist group was a bad omen. They are not a membership based organization, they don’t have meetings, they just kind of are... and that fact alone can be exploited. Anyone can potentially be dubbed ANTIFA if a federal agent deems them acting radically in the eyes of this administration. 

This is the roots of fascism in America. It is masquerading as nationalism and to some degree that's legitimate but the effects of those beliefs are becoming a thin facade for the other.

It’s almost undeniable at this point. This is the reason I started with the beginning of this month because between the hate speech, the stances that support racism, the xenophobic decisions, the active statement that there is no problem with the virus, and now kidnapping citizens are all part of a fascist playbook. Speaking out against a dictatorship is a death sentence. But a dictatorship is anti-American. If you believe in the idyllic America we were taught exists. I am not sure that America has ever fully existed.... but maybe somewhere she does, but, oh, is she flawed… but that’s okay because admitting to those flaws can lead to growth. Owning all of our past will lead to growth. But denial, denial leads us down a path to losing ourselves. 

My boyfriend is right, I’m a fighter. I will get up and I will fight even if there are tears in my eyes. But that doesn’t mean I am not tired. I find myself so heartbroken over the events of the last two months that I fail to have words to express the effect of keeping my eyes open to the world actually has on me. One thing I have figured out is despite what the president says, I don’t hate my country. I am part of the left, yes, but I love it. I can say that because I wouldn’t be so upset about all that is going on if I didn’t. I realize there are fellow citizens who wholeheartedly disagree with me, and they would also claim they love the country, but to me their fear of change says more about them than they realize. They don’t want to accept ugly truths and grow. It’s an oversimplification but here we are.  Everything is so polarized. We are divided. I’ve said this before but I’m not sure something isn’t going to break spectacularly before November, during, or shortly after. Regardless, a new normal is being forged and I do not accept it. I will not accept it. I will fight it, and I hope whoever takes the time to read this ridiculously long post will too. 

[tomasistrill]

“Don’t look; but I Think The Elephant In The Room is Wearing An MF Doom Mask..”

By @tomasistrill

December 12, 2019

The Manifesto

“I am the elephant in the room;

bringing doom,

really soon.”

-TOMMY TRILLY

-Form & Shape

The image is sized to be square to eligantly frame my thesis of the symmetry that outlines all things asymmetrical.

Using dimensions of 1080x1080pixels gives the piece functionality & purpose as cover artwork for an important project being manifested as we think, speak & breath.

The color scheme is purposely & purely monochromatic. Starting from left to right; the viewer will immediately see that black is the dominating color of the composition.

However, dominant, is nothing less than an understatement. When working with black on this piece; I found myself compulsive, aggressive & even manic at times.

I strayed far from my initial concept of having the black fade to an almost white tone; never truly giving my viewer the graceful embrace of a pure white.

Instead; my fanatical usage of black lead me ever deeper into the enigmatic labyrinth of my subconscious & a graceful awareness of the courage to create.

-Ethos, Pathos & Logos

The toxic love affair between my creative mania & the color black conceived a scene no longer so two dimensional; contrasted with a character that will never be anything more than it’s two dimensions.

The character is depicted in the center of the room. However, because he cannot escape his two dimensional existence, the center of the room is a place he can only observe from afar. He doesn’t understand why none of the people in the room pay attention to him.

His body language communicates a lonely disposition; arms hanging at his sides, hands [possibly] in his pockets & eyes staring far into the abyss; painfully conscious of his glaze matched by the depths of true existence.

On the left & right of our self-ruminating character; reads “S†≡≡Z.”

A word meaning to have style with ease; made popular by hip-hop on the East Coast. In my meditations on the word, came to me, the most clear understanding of grace & what it means to have it.

Bruce Lee describes it as the effortless flow of water; taking the shape of whatever contains you; the body containing the mind & the mind then containing the soul.

This journey inward in search of the holy S†≡≡Z requires you to courageously be yourself purely in the face of adversity. Everytime you choose fear over courage; you’re taking steps outward & away from the S†≡≡Z!

-Spiritual Subliminals

Diving ever deeper into the art & the messages it has for us; we’ll turn our focus to how the word “S†≡≡Z” is communicated to the viewer. Using things such as; color, form, shape, symbology, typography, etc. I was able to effectively communicate ideas to the beholder, in a very visual, yet subtle way.

“S - - -Z”

The “S” at the beginning represents a wavelength that’s smooth from crest to trough.

While the “Z” at the end presents an opposite, but equal wave; this one being more aggressive in it’s frequency.

This is the inevitability one faces in making the decision to be themselves.

Sometimes the wave is S & sometimes the wave is Z, but if you know how to surf; the ride is always steezy.

“- † - - -“

The letter “T” here serves at a ✞ symbol standing for the divine power of love & forgiveness within Man.

“- - ≡ ≡ -”

The arrangement of three horizontal lines is an angelic numerical sequence “111” that tells the intuition to take action.

Encouraging you to keep following your spirit; if you see this listen to your gut/heart.

The double “EE” sequence is made of three horizontal tic marks, similar to a traditional capitalized E, but instead here we see “≡” used; one of the eight trigrams used in Daoist cosmology meaning “Heaven.” 乾 Qián ☰ Heaven|坤 Kūn ☷ Earth|震 Zhèn☳ Thunder|坎 Kǎn☵ Water|艮 Gèn☶ Mountain|巽 Xùn☴ Wind|離 Lí☲ Flame兌 | Duì☱ Lake

This rendering of “S † ≡ ≡ Z” is then contrasted across the longitude of the entire ensemble; painting a polarizing picture of the age old existential struggle of the inner against the outer.

The only usage of a true white tone is in the first occurrence of S†≡≡Z; in the darkest section of the piece. Then, almost mockingly, right in the middle of the lightest area, we see the return of darkness; in the second & final occurrence of S†≡≡Z.

This beautifully illustrates; when the world is dark, the individual will intuitively become the light he so desperately seeks.

We can then safely assume if the world becomes illuminated in mankind’s brilliance; the individual will only find peace in the shadows of his own world.

Narrative-

MF Doom:

A character/persona written by british-born EMCEE Daniel Dumile.

From his upbringing in Long Island, New York to his controversial rise to infamy; his story is trill hiphop lore. He became a man deep in the minds of millions & they don’t even know his name.

Initially, rapping under the alias Zev Love X, he formed the rap group KMD & signed to Elektra Records. Just before the release of the group’s second Album, boldly titled “Black Bastards,” the doom rapper’s late brother DJ Subroc was struck by a car & killed.

That same week the group was dropped from their label & the album was scrapped. Dumile left the industry & lived essentially homeless from 94’ to 97’.

He then left New York to settle in Atlanta, Georgia. Still recovering from his wounds; the rapper would don the iconic DOOM mask & take revenge "against the industry that so badly deformed him".

Thus the notorious villain of the hiphop underground MF DOOM was born.

He is often praised as not only one of the illest lyricist to ever do it, but also as a genius producer.

However, inspite of his immaculate discography & significant respect from industry legends, he is still widly unaccepted by the community he’s devoted his life to.

The Elephant:

Elephants are known as a keystone species; meaning it has disproportionately large effect on its environment relative to its abundance.

In fact, by simply existing; the elephant has the power to inflict change in the world it lives in. They, as all animals do, move across the earth manifesting their every desire; unconcerned with anything & everything that isn’t necessary to life.

Effortlessly laying the foundation on which nearly every other speices, within it’s domain, inevitably builds it’s existence.

They themselves embrace a matriarchal lifestyle; in which the feminine is the primary power within society.

Family Groups, consisting of mainly females & children, are led by the eldest female matriarch; with many of the males choosing a more solitary existence.

The elephant recognizes itself in a mirror; demonstrating a capacity for self-awareness found only in apes & dolphins. They also morn their dead & show signs of stress when loved ones aren’t well.

It is well known that the elephant’s memory is stone; able to recall locations of watering holes, family members, vast migration routes, etc. all over their 70 year lifespan.

Conflict:

It’s no surprise that elephants have inspired many literary, mythical & religious cultures; traditionally the elephant has been a symbol of strength, power, wisdom, longevity, stamina, leadership, sociability, nurturance and loyalty.

We see these things reflected in political ideologies of the American Republican Party; who’ve used the elephant as a mascot since 1874.

Conveying a message to undecided voters to preserve the values of the past & to have noble principle guiding your actions.

On the surface level this is honorably patriotic, but as I dived ever deeper; I found a story of people divided simply by perspectives based on how reality presented itself to the misdirected & misguided naiveté of the ignorant & innocent.

The parable of the blind men & the elephant originated in the ancient Indian subcontinent. A group of blind men, who never encountered an elephant before, all touch a different part of an elephants body & insist they know exactly what it is in front of them; based on their limited experience, they all go on to describe what they understood the elephant standing in front of them to be. The first person, whose hand landed on the trunk, said "This being is like a thick snake". Another man, whose hand reached its ear, said it seemed like a kind of fan. The third man, whose hand was upon its leg, said the elephant is a pillar like a tree-trunk. A fourth man who placed his hand upon its side said the elephant, "is a wall". Another who felt its tail, described it as a rope. The last felt its tusk, stating the elephant is that which is hard, smooth and like a spear.

In this parable; I found a moral of the subjective truths we face every day in our common lives.

All of these men share a deep common attribute of blindness & thus will cling to shallow differences in sensual experience & each man will have a different ideology for why he does so.

Man will neglect fellowship with his fellow man if, in his limited experience of reality, he finds it to be a necessary action in his life.

Unfortunately for a more modest man; life is often misunderstood by his neighbors.

Perhaps he dreamns of power, so he creates the illusion he has a higher knowledge of the elephant. Maybe he’s a coward & would rather formulate an opinion than walk away, because he fears rejection from the group.

Man has a habbit of claiming to know the absolute truth based on their limited, subjective experience. As they ignore other people's limited, subjective experiences. Which may be equally true; only ever able to justify their claims with fear or courage.

Resolve:

Courage requires immaculate moral responsibility & higher knowledge. To stand in the face of destiny with the heart of a warrior is an endeavor most men can no longer dream of.

It requires too much & so most men spend their lifetime in the same predicament the elephant himself is in; standing in a room being ignored by those whose hearts call out to him! To be the elephant in the room is a tragedy largely ignored.

The expression "the elephant in the room" is a metaphorical idiom in English for an important or enormous topic, problem, or risk that is obvious or that everyone knows about but no one mentions or wants to discuss because it makes at least some of them uncomfortable or is personally, socially, or politically embarrassing, controversial, inflammatory, or dangerous. This same sociological & psychological repression operates on the macro scale of modern society.

Should something as conspicuous as an elephant be overlooked in codified social interactions? Of course not. You are the elephant in the room.

Conclusion:

Not only has he not forgotten; but the elephant himself, in all his divine S†≡≡Z, stands in a room full of people he remembers from the beginning of time. They talk of the old days; almost every word hinting at his presence in the room, but they just go on rambling as if the elephant himself isn’t standing next to them. They’re completely oblivious to the fact that there’s a god damn eight-foot seven-inch Asian elephant with a fucking MF DOOM mask on right there. He’s tired of being ignored; soon he will escape from his interdimensional hell & bring doom.

[golden-redhead]

I'm curious. Do you have any thoughts on Kaede and Kokichi's ingame relationship? I dunno, maybe it's an odd qurstion but... I think that maybe reading about them from the perspective of a good writer can help me write about them better. Thanks in advance!

So, first of all: sorry that it took me so long, but it’s such a complicated question that I had to take my time to think about it, talk with a friend, re-watch some fragments of the game, including their FTEs and just… think carefully about what I actually think and how to put it in a way that would actually make sense.

Okay, so the first thing that I think should be acknowledged is that both Kokichi and Kaede are very flawed characters and that they actually parallel each other in a very interesting way. And this is something that I mostly focus on in this post because I think this is the key to understanding the kind of relationship they had. Also, this post is awfully long (over 1700 words), so… Yeah, more under the cut. 

The problem with Kaede is that she is very pushy. Kokichi points it out during their little Death Road of Despair experience and he’s not wrong. She likes to have things go her way and most of the time she doesn’t even realize that she’s coming off as forceful and even kind of self-rightous. A lot of her character is just a facade, just like Kokichi’s, but her is probably much less obvious than his (it also applies to Kaito and I would honestly LOVE to discuss the similarities between all three of them one day, because they are fascinating and they are the three people that have the most impact on both the final outcome of the game and our protagonist). I don’t think that Kaede is nearly as optimistic as she pretends to be. I actually believe that a lot of what we see in her audition video is visible in our in-game Kaede, just covered by her positive, always cheerful mask. But the thing is that she doesn’t truly trust in her classmates - despite the fact that she states the opposite - and that’s why she takes things into her own hands. She wants to be perceived as positive and supportive but when you look at her actions during the Death Road of Despair or at how she wants to get the mastermind on her own her true personality really shines through this mask she made. And I think that Kokichi is aware of it, he’s not fooled by her cheerful persona the same way that others are. He’s immune to her motivational speeches (and Kaito’s, but it comes later), but at this point in the story he also seems to recognize that something good can come out of them? And it’s not something that he could do himself so he lets Kaede become their self-proclaimed leader as long as it motivates others to keep fighting. He’s a person who values life above anything else and I think that this is something that you need to keep in mind when analyzing his character because it’s such an important element of his character.

In general, it’s kind of hard to predict what would have happened, because Kaede never got to overcome her flaws and grow as a person, we never see her actually develop. Very early in the game one of her biggest flaws is introduced - and this flaw leads to her doom. I assume that if she lived longer she would get at least a chance to change, to overcome it, but it’s just me guessing and hoping and assuming. And even if she got  a chance the develop it still doesn’t mean that she actually would develop, at least in a positive sense of this word. And the worst thing about the game is that she ends up being treated like a perfect waifu, like she was a victim of this situation, so I’m not sure if they would actually go this way. I’m kind of worried that she would be just Maki 2.0? Because Maki’s flaws are also never fully acknowledged, which is honestly a shame because it would be a chance for her to and also make the game much more self-aware.

Because yeah, in Maki’s case the way she is treated has at least something to do with just catering to the audience, especially the male audience, and in her position as the game’s waifu. But when you think about it - her admitting that what she did was wrong, admitting that she went against her own promise to herself and against what Kaito tried to teach her… wouldn’t strip her of her waifu status, wouldn’t impact players’ perception of her negatively. If anything, it would only serve to make her more relatable. And something similar happens with Kaede, the game kind of admits that what she did was wrong and she actually gets punished for it. But the game also immediately after her death changes its narrative and turns her into this perfect martyr who did nothing wrong, which is just… so painfully contradictory. Looking at it that way I think that both Kaede and Maki got the short end of the stick. Sure, they are both popular and generally loved by the fandom characters, but the game had a chance to go deeper with them and explore them better, but never did, instead simply skimming over the surface. As much as I hate the argument that they both are kind of reduced to being love interests… well, let’s just say that I don’t agree with it 100% but I also see where people who say that are coming from.

The most interesting thing about Kokichi and Kaede is probably how different their brands of leadership are. As I mentioned earlier, Kokichi pretty much lets Kaede do her thing, simply observing what is going to happen. but the moment he notices that her own blind ambition is getting in the way of her good intentions - he calls her out on her bullshit. The main difference between them is that Kaede immediately made her leader status known, whereas Kokichi always works from the shadows, collecting evidence on his own, trying to find out who the mastermind is.

Honestly, the most interesting thing that would come out of Kaede living longer in relation to her relationship with Kokichi is probably the way they would challenge each other, the same way we see it happen at the beginning with the Death Road of Despair thing. Shuichi can be seen as very passive compared to her and it’s honestly both a good and a bad thing, depending how you look at it or who you ask. It’s good, because it lets the player just observe things, observe how those characters react and behave on their own, without your protagonist’s interruption. But at the same time you as a player end up being an observer rather than someone who has actual impact on the story, unless maybe during the trials when it’s your job to solve the case. On the other hand, while Shuichi is rather passive, Kaede is his total opposite. She lacks his patience and she can be actually very… um, unpleasant? Just look at her FTEs with some of the others or her first interaction with Tsumugi (well, to be fair, Tsumugi was kind of rude herself, but still). She quickly gets physical with others and not necessarily in a good way. As much as I would like to believe that she would be more willing to understand Kokichi, I also think that she might be too pushy to actually get to him? Kaede forces her way through things, while Kokichi surrounds himself with lies and hints, I’m not sure if Kaede actually has the patience to deal with this kind of thing, she is very clearly tired of his antics during their FTEs. I like to think that she wouldn’t be as antagonistic towards him as others are and that she would defend him when Maki abuses him, but considering how narrative is very clearly against Kokichi, to the point that at times many characters come off as out of character… I’m honestly not so sure if that would be the case? But then again, she’s much more firm with him than any other character and it’s something that should be acknowledged. Kirumi is kiiiind of similar? But because of her devotion to her talent Kirumi also lacks Kaede’s individuality and doesn’t stand her ground the same way Kaede does.

Another thing that I would like to point out is that Kokichi changes a lot later in the game. He gets much more serious and more desperate as more people die. In Kaede’s first FTEs with him Kaede thinks that he acts like a kid who wants attention and… she’s not wrong? He really does act that way, especially at the beginning. He’s testing her limits, messing around and in general acting like a brat. Buuuut at the same time during their second FTE he warns her about what might happen if she continues to act the way she does and it’s actually very insightful? And, well, turns out to be true. It’s also kind of ironic considering that ultimately he also couldn’t catch the mastermind and had to sacrifice his own values in the process.

I think that Kokichi also has a lot of respect towards Kaede, which is seen in how he says goodbye to her and states that she wasn’t boring. I think a lot of this respect comes from the fact that in contrast to other students she actually tried to do something to stop the killing game. She went about it the wrong way but considering how extreme the situation they were in was… it makes a lot of sense and I think Kokichi understands that. He’s later shown to be very frustrated with the passiveness of others and how they kind of just accept the situation and hope that the power of friendship will solve everything. Both he and Kaede refuse to just stand and watch as people die and even though they both ultimately fail, they are also the ones who actually do something and pay the highest price for it. Same can be said about Amami, which is why chapter one is so tragic.

Anyways, that’s just my own personal interpretation, you don’t have to agree with it! Also, I hope that this word vomit makes sense, I tend to jump from one topic to another.

In conclusion, I think their in-game relationship is super interesting and I would honestly love to see more of it. And it gets even better if you add Kaito to the mix because all three of them are one of the most important characters in the entire game and the impact they all had on the story is very interesting. Not to mention that they shape Shuichi into the person he is at the end of the game and it’s fascinating to watch as he evolves throughout the game.  

[operationrainfall]

Title Knight Bewitched Developer Joshua Keith Publisher Joshua Keith Original Release Date April 18, 2018 Genre Fantasy RPG Platform PC (Steam)

I always appreciate it when development tools and engines are made available to newcomer game designers. They allow beginners and amateurs to make reality a vision of a game they may have, and they also allow for as much customization and creativity as the designer desires. Knight Bewitched is one such vision, allowing a newcomer game designer to share with us his unique and immersive story.

Knight Bewitched tells the epic tale of Ruth, a well-respected knight from the kingdom of Halonia. When we first join her, she is tasked to slay a dragon, the spawn of Typhus the World-Breaker. After a successful mission, an image of Typhus appears, vowing to fully return and end humanity as he once attempted in the past. Back then, Typhus set humanity against the race of dragons in a bloody war and a repeat of these events would doom the world. In the meantime though, Ruth is soon tasked to eliminate a lone witch, Gwen. However during the mission, Ruth falls deathly ill and is, in turn, rescued by Gwen. Not able to harm her benefactor, Ruth returns to Halonia and is assumed bewitched and arrested. After escaping her arrest with the help of her squire, Stray, and the assassin, Uno, the three reunite with Gwen to set off into the world to prevent the return of Typhus.

The story elements of Knight Bewitched are the game’s greatest strength. Although the overall plot, defeat a big boss and save the world, is a touch on the dry side, the narrative and character development are outstanding. Starting with the narrative, the writing of Knight Bewitched is fantastic, as I found myself immersed and my attention held throughout the game. The banter between the main characters, the plentiful humor, and our heroes’ reactions to enemies and NPCs is all brilliant. While the game is set in a fantasy setting, there are many references to modern and internet culture, yet these seemingly out of place jokes and references don’t break immersion and only add to the fun and light-hearted nature of the game. The writing overall is incredibly fun and charming. Not once did I find it drag on or become stale. Rather, I was pleasantly entertained throughout.

The character development is also impressive, as we see personal struggles and satisfying growth amongst the individual characters. Gwen is a wonderful character. She’s funny, charming, witty, and sarcastic at the perfect moments. Stray is a character easy to sympathize with, given his background, and just as easy to root for. Despite his troubles, he still manages to show his jovial and cheerful sides. Ruth and Uno tend to fit common molds a bit more than the other two, but they are no less likable. Ruth is a straightforward and determined woman, capable of handling anything in her way. And yet despite her upright personality, the ease at being ruffled by Gwen’s banter is incredibly cute. It’s another level to her character that makes her special and enjoyable. Uno, the brooding silent type, does get plenty of meaningful development that lets any player grow to like him on a personal level. He even has his own moments of humor too, which makes him even more memorable.

The only complaint I have in terms of story is the relationship between Ruth and Gwen, as I found its development lacking in depth. Early on, we are made aware of Gwen’s attraction to Ruth, as Gwen’s dialogue, inner thoughts, and behaviors all demonstrate her care and growing feelings for Ruth. However, Ruth never properly nor convincingly reciprocates this attraction at all. She is distinctly passive or nonreactive to the point of indifference. Finally, when it’s revealed that Ruth shares Gwen’s feelings, it comes off as such a rushed response, as again, Ruth hadn’t shown any attraction towards Gwen up to that point. In fact, it could very well had been assumed that Ruth had only been concerned for Gwen simply as any other friend or companion. It also could have been assumed that Ruth was straight, bi, or even asexual because of how little the relationship dynamic was actually developed. One-sided until close to endgame and boom, they’re lovey-dovey. This is especially disappointing because all other story aspects like the narrative, individual character development, and humor are all admirably written. It is clear the developer has the talent, but the ball was dropped when it came to the one major relationship in the game. It’s a dishearteningly missed opportunity, as pacing and balanced buildup between both Ruth and Gwen would have made their relationship worlds more intriguing.

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The story elements are what make this game remarkable, but unfortunately, the same level of quality failed to be maintained in its gameplay. Knight Bewitched does nothing special with its gameplay, relying solely on the cookie-cutter RPG Maker mechanics. It’s not broken. On the contrary, gameplay all works well, yet nothing unique was changed or added to make the experience more memorable. Gameplay is split between combat and overworld mechanics, with battles occurring at random and utilizing the engine-provided turn-based setup. I will say that I found encounter rates and challenge level to be acceptable, never requiring any serious grinding nor ever feeling like your team is over leveled. I did come across one bug, having to do with how status effect turn counts are handled. Turn counters only turn over or refresh when someone takes damage. My team was once sleep-locked by an enemy that could no longer attack, due to it running out of MP. So, no one could attack and adjust the sleep stat counter, resulting in my having to reset the game.

I do like that turn order and action icons are visible in battle.

Outside of combat, the world is made of various towns filled with NPCs to interact with and plenty of dungeons to explore. However, exploration is limited to acquiring uninspired items, many of which are unnecessary or fail to give a reasonable advantage upon acquisition. I will say that I do like the variety of obtainable equipment, as they require some strategy to use. They are not your typical “boost everything” kind of equips, so deciding how you wish to utilize your characters and what stats to heighten all comes into play. The ability to change equipment during a fight is also a nice touch. Finally, I found it disappointing that there is only the main campaign to play through, as there are no subquests to be had.

Further issues include the complete lack of a quest log. Many times during play, players will be completely on their own to discover where to go next. Only sometimes do teammates or NPCs guide players to the next area. Even when you do receive hints, most often they are vague compass directions. A quest log, especially after spending significant time in a village or dungeon, would have helped remind players on what to do or where to go next. Speaking of being on your own, the first segments of the game provide zero guides or tutorials as to how to actually play the game. Those familiar with RPG Maker games will undoubtedly figure things out quickly and will regard this as a non-issue. Yet, not everyone has played RPG Maker games and may not be familiar with its standard use of the Z, X, and C buttons, or its alternate configurations. (I prefer using Enter, Shift, and Num 0.) Only after your first boss fight does a gameplay guide become available. Overall, gameplay is uninspired, its lack of quest logs hurts, and the potential struggles for newcomers as to how to play may take away from their experience.

As I stated, I really do like the idea of mechanisms and tools that allow anyone to create a game on their own. RPG Maker, Unity, Ren’py, you name it. Having said that, I do take issue when developers completely rely on the tools and assets available with zero effort to leave their own marks. This is exactly the case here in regards to the aesthetics of Knight Bewitched. There are no custom pieces of art, nor are there any original pieces of music. Most of the assets are taken from RPG Maker Fes and some from other RPG Maker and free asset sets.

Now I fully understand that not everyone is an artist and even fewer are musical composers, so much so that I forgive the use of pre-made music, but there are options available to leave a unique visual mark, whether it’s through commissions or teaming up with volunteers willing to help. It’s disheartening to see a complete dependence on pre-made visual assets, as I believe any custom artwork would have brought more life and impact to these characters. Instead, the reliance on stock artwork, which is someone else’s vision, is unfortunate. I will say this. I suppose it is impressive that the developer managed to use Fes assets for a PC game, as Fes is only available for the 3DS. I haven’t figured out how this was done, since I don’t believe Fes assets are available to download for any of the PC-based RPG Maker engines. Regardless, I would have preferred custom artwork, especially if the game is being sold for profit. Instead we get stock portraits, stock sprites and tilesets, and zero in-game CGs.

Knight Bewitched is a marvelous story trapped in a less than stellar game. The game overall is painfully average with a few hiccups too, which is disappointing given the impressive writing waiting to be discovered. With unremarkable gameplay and a full dependency on engine assets, it is difficult to rate this any higher than our average score of 2.5. Again, nothing here can be considered awful, but its many bright spots are just as soon cancelled out by its flaws and the end result is a game few would consider a gem. I would perhaps argue that this story would have been more outstanding in another media form, rather than an RPG. My thoughts aside, Knight Bewitched has its charm and points of brilliance, and for about $5 for this roughly 10-hour campaign, I can still easily recommend this to those looking for an RPG with terrific immersion, strong narrative and a very easy group of characters to root for. I hope we see a continuation of the Knight Bewitched saga in the future.

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[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”2.5″]

Review Copy Purchased by Author

TBT REVIEW: Knight Bewitched Title Knight Bewitched

[leoxrobertson]

I Don’t Know 3: Camus’ The Fall

Having read the fall thrice now (it’s tiny, dense and confusing) I’m pretty confident to say that it is a novel that discusses the silent hypocrisies on which society founds itself. The narrative is delivered in the form of a long monologue from Jean-Baptiste Clamence, a once-revered lawyer, fallen from grace. As a result of “the fall”, Clamence is painfully aware of the hypocrisies of his former existence, and is filled with stories and analogies to deconstruct them: they are wonderfully dark and never without their share of humour, which makes the novel just as daring and illuminating when read today.

On our deceptive appearances

“I once knew a manufacturer who had a perfect wife, admired by all, and yet he deceived her. That man was literally furious to be in the wrong, to be blocked from receiving, or granting himself, a certificate of virtue. The more virtues his wife manifested, the more vexed he became. Eventually, living in the wrong became unbearable to him. What do you think he did then? He gave up deceiving her? Not at all. He killed her. That is how I entered into relations with him.” Jean-Baptiste enters relations with a man because the man killed his own wife out of frustration for his own lack of virtuosity. J-B holds an unwavering admiration for those who decry their own hypocrisies. J-B goes on to say “I had no chance of killing my wife, being a bachelor.” He believes that only not having a wife guarantees you won’t kill your wife, not any kind of self-restraint or good character: as explained later, J-B believes that we live in a constant grey area of morality that we can choose to navigate across whenever, but that we love to deny this. As a result, he shows, on more than one occasion, admiration for even the basest people whose appearance reflects their character. “You think he looks like a killer? Rest assured that his actions conform to his looks.”

“You are in business, no doubt? In a way? Excellent reply! Judicious too: in all things we are merely “in a way.” Now, allow me to play the detective. You are my age in a way, with the sophisticated eye of the man in his forties who has seen everything, in a way; you are well dressed in a way, that is as people are in our country; and your hands are smooth. Hence a bourgeois, in a way!” Everyone is only something “in a way.” Civilisation is preserved with categories. Everyone is in fact a little of everything, undefinable and uncategorisable, forever evolving.

“We are all exceptional cases. We all want to appeal against something! Each of us insists on being innocent at all cost, even if he has to accuse the whole human race and heaven itself. You won’t delight a man by complimenting him on the efforts by which he has become intelligent or generous. On the other hand, he will beam if you admire his natural generosity. Inversely, if you tell a criminal that his crime is not due to his nature or his character but to unfortunate circumstances, he will be extravagantly grateful to you.” J-B believes that we hate to acknowledge the effort that goes into moving us across the moral spectrum: we are too scared to think of its existence, that we may lack virtuosity and have to go about remedying that. If we appear to be good, we must be inherently good; if we appear to be bad, our circumstances must simply be inescapably unfortunate.

On relationships

“I used to put [women] in the refrigerator, so to speak.” [Digression] In the It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode “The D.E.N.N.I.S System”, Dennis reveals his system for picking up women that allows him to sleep with them and leave them, yet pick them up again whenever he wants to. The actor has said that Dennis is the embodiment of his own worst behaviour, attitudes and habits. [End digression.] “No man is a hypocrite in his pleasures”, says Jean-Baptiste.

“The moment I was loved and my partner again forgotten, I shone, I was at the top of my form, I became likable. Be it said, moreover, that as soon as I had re-won that affection I became aware of its weight. In my moments of irritation I told myself that the ideal solution would have been the death of the person I was interested in. Her death would, on the one hand, have definitively fixed our relationship and, on the other, removed its compulsion. But one cannot long for the death of everyone or, in the extreme, depopulate the planet in order to enjoy a freedom that cannot be imagined otherwise. My sensibility was opposed to this, and my love of mankind.” Only “the death of the person [we are] interested in” will cement in place the constant flux of our interactions and re-evaluations of each other and what we want- this can indeed become unbearable at times.

“I am well aware that one can’t get along without domineering or being served. Every man needs slaves as he needs fresh air… The lowest man in the social scale still has his wife or his child. If he’s unmarried, a dog. The essential thing, after all, is being able to get angry with someone who has no right to talk back… Somebody has to have the last word. Otherwise, every reason can be answered with another one and there would never be an end to it.” Oppression is a necessary tool to cut short constant discourse and the flux of life’s ambiguity. Eventually we need to decide right and wrong to move forward, even although it has been explained that this is not really possible.

On life’s constant flux

J-B recounts an incident where he hears a woman falling into the water, perhaps to her doom (perhaps mirroring the ambiguity of Ophelia’s death in Hamlet? Did Ophelia try to drown herself, or did she just fall?) “I had already gone some fifty yards when I heard the sound��which, despite the distance, seemed dreadfully loud in the midnight silence—of a body striking the water. I stopped short, but without turning around. Almost at once I heard a cry, repeated several times, which was going downstream; then it suddenly ceased. The silence that followed, as the night suddenly stood still, seemed interminable. I wanted to run and yet didn’t stir. I was trembling, I believe from cold and shock. I told myself that I had to be quick and I felt an irresistible weakness steal over me. I have forgotten what I thought then. “Too late, too far …” or something of the sort. I was still listening as I stood motionless. Then, slowly under the rain, I went away. I informed no one… What? That woman? Oh, I don’t know. Really I don’t know. The next day, and the days following, I didn’t read the papers.”

J-B doesn’t know what happened to the girl. Other incidents mentioned in the novel allude to the notion that the conclusions he tries to draw from his own past rest on incomplete information. And, having informed no one about this incident, this besmirching of his character is not available for others to judge him upon. But what if the woman was okay? Or does it matter either way, given that he didn’t help? Did he really have any obligation? Maybe she wanted to fall in… This one event, a couple of confusing minutes one evening, demonstrates the incomplete informationwe have to go off when it comes to our judgement of others, or ourselves. There’s no possible way to follow up our impact on everyone we’ve met, nor is there any way for anyone to reach a definite conclusion about the impact we’ve had on them either- and even so, that impact evolves as we try to draw conclusions!

“If I had been able to commit suicide and then see [the] reaction [at the funeral], why, then the game would have been worth the candle.” If we were able to “cement in place” our relationships with others, to “finalise” our interactions with others, and see the effect it had, and how they added it all up, it would be worth it. But we cannot live and know the whole of our effect on the world at the same time, ever! The absurdity of existence, the unknowability. “In order to cease being a doubtful case, one has to cease being, that’s all.” Doubt is the order of our lives, flux and greyness, no true black and white, even if this is the artifice that holds us in place. Only death will end the absurd, but it’s not worth it either, because you’ll never hear your own final judgement. People from your life will happily crawl back out the woodwork to come to your funeral and apply labels to you that they came up with that are almost guaranteed not to capture who you really are. While we are alive, and not conceivably able to have the relief of everyone else around us dead (and thus all our relationships set in stone), the jury is constantly out on all of us, and so does our moral status fluctuate in unknowable ways.

Life is all middle, all confusion, with too much information in the air for us to make reasonable sense out of it: “a dead sea, or almost. With its flat shores, lost in the fog, there’s no saying where it begins or ends. So we are steaming along without any landmark; we can’t gauge our speed. We are making progress and yet nothing is changing. It’s not navigation but dreaming.”

Conclusion

In The Fall, Camus identifies and addresses a number of false truths that we assume to be true, and skilfully negates them using some wonderfully dark and daring stories and analogies. The consistent dark humour doesn’t “soften the blow” of these truths so much as affirm life in spite of them. Camus rallies for us to live honestly- right? Is that possible? Or do we live in a world so rife with hypocrisy and does civilisation need lies to survive? Uh…