#but ough I have Opinions on that thing
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OKAY I have written my essay on why I Do Not like the skyscale and my very specific personal problems with it. Not posted yet but hopefully soon but skfjsj I am Afraid of people being mean ;w;
#I think I’ve made it clear I don’t Hate the scale#and i think it’s amazingly animated and very useful for a lot of people#I even use it as my secondary mount after griffon#but ough I have Opinions on that thing
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pro tip: you can always put the bugs in little outfits :thumbsup:
#rain world#five pebbles#lttm#looks to the moon#no im not procratsinating what im actully drawing to put the bugs in fun outfits what are you talking about#anyhow uh yeah man been a lil since i uploaded anything huh. that will not be changing. stay tuned for as scarce art as always. we stay thr#anyhow! you know i have done similar scehctehs alot and i always do the undershirt longshirt for them cause i feel like moon would like it#nd pebbles got it from her even if hed hate to adit it. sometimes your older sister figure has good taste (subjective) and you will never r#each her high#anyhow also i like desiging tshirt prints even if its always a pain when i need to do it#ough#anyhow i have suns also if anyone wanna see that i suppose?#otherwise hmmmm well if anyones reading this who has an opinion i wokring on a comic and concidering if i should wait with posting and do t#e whole thing once i anage to struggle through adding the text#or if i will be weak and post my fave parts beforehand for funnsies hmmmm many choises someone tell me what to do i hate making choises#uh for anyone not intrestied in my long tag rabling music rec for today is cop car by mitski!!!! and not at all because ive been watching a#disco elysium aniatic with that song on loop on youtube for days#thats not soemthing id do#anyhow anyhow!!!!#my art#see i can remmeber that tag sometimes :)#oh also an its nice to go back to drawing these guys after weeks of my own rw ocs. strange experince man#^-^
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randomly feeling a very passionate himiko yumeno mood but I'm here for it
I just really love her
funny to think that I used to be able to easily call her my least favorite character in v3
glad I had a change of heart though, because she's really warmed up to me over time and is now one of my favorites for sure
#you guys won't believe how badly I hated her guts after finishing chapter 3 for the first time#as well as beating the game for the first time#and that she was a waste of a character and just plain annoying#but I got over it luckily#I can look back fondly on my first playthrough of v3 but I'll be honest I was heavily biased on a lot of things#and refused to change my opinion on things while playing because I was just fairly petty#like I wouldn't really give some characters a chance and their first impression in ch 1 would be what stuck with me forever#it was what happened with himiko#but again I'm just really glad I didn't stick with that mindset because himiko is a really wonderful character :D#although even after all that I think my favorite thing about her miiiight be her design#it's definitely one of my favorite designs in the whole series#but I love her personality and arc so much too OUGH#anyways himiko rant over this was just a neat little thing to look back on because WOW my opinions have severely changed#I get she's not the most popular but I think she deserves so much love#himiko yumeno#drv3
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Twitter Day 1: Wow, there’s so much gorgeous Kabru art here! This is awesome! I love Twitter!
Twitter Day 19: *gritting my teeth while I type* Hi, OP! I think calling Kabru a fascist who’s literally Hitler isn’t a very reasonable take. Just out of curiosity, when’s the last time you watched and/or read Dungeon Meshi and/or looked up the definition of fascist and/or looked up what Hitler did? I think maybe you should go look at those again. Thanks!
#I’m not even exaggerating someone literally called Kabru Hitler on Twitter I’m not making this up oh my god#this is like the worst thing anybody could’ve said about my favorite character ever#Kabru??? As Hitler??? Hello??? Even if you’re an anime-only how would you have come to this conclusion#this just in autistic bitch spasming on the floor after special interest blorbo was called Hitler#I guess you could say I’m starting to see why people say Twitter is evil#trying so hard to stay civil and by civil I mean not fall to the floor crying and praying that media literacy becomes universal#I don’t care if you hate him because like you have a right to your own opinion but how are you going to compare him to Hitler#if you’re going to hate him at least do it for the things he actually did???#bro 😭#I don’t know whether I should say something or not I feel like I’m falling victim to Twitter’s starting fights to keep you invested thing#also I don’t think the OP will change their mind but like ough#I feel like I’ve taken 999999999999999999999999 psychic damage#rope/spider post
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With Krok now on my mind, it's reminded me of like, the whole deal of him coping with the loss of his squad by believing they'd just become separated? Because that bit is such a fascinating aspect of his character to me.
It's vague in a way that doesn't totally confirm whether he truly 100% deluded himself, or if he just kept telling himself that to try and distract from the truth and memories he didn't want to face.
(Which, for some reason this pisses Misfire off? Which implies something really interesting there about Misfire and his own coping mechanisms and issues that we don't get much of a peer into unfortunately.)
Anyway, I spent way too long thinking about it when I was reading through the comics. And it's like, did studying battles and strategy play a part in this delusion/lie?
Like, you're a being that lives for millions of years, in the middle of a war spanning those millions of years. So, at some point, surely those battles are going to start to blur together. So you've got that, and then you go and face a frankly horrifically traumatic fight that quite literally rips the people you cared about most, and felt responsible for, apart.
Presumably, Decepticons aren't the greatest at handling shell shock and other such side effects of war. So they just take this freshly traumatized mess of a dude, take him off the front lines and plant him on a warworld to aid the fight from a more comfortable distance.
With all this, the mind is bound to be fickle when faced with such sudden loss and change. But Krok obviously did his job there, or at least he was very knowledgeable on history and tactics beforehand.
Either way, he studied battle after battle, went through records of fight after fight, planned for what's next and reconsidered what had already happened. Hundreds of wins and losses.
So did it get jumbled there? In having a head full of battles, did some of them blur and mix with the one that took everything away from him? In trying to solve the failures of past battles, did he try and find where a victory could've been had against the wreckers that day? Did he find a solution that would've had his squad still whole and alive?
From there, did it slip into delusion, or a desperate lie to keep himself going?
I feel like his "mental health matters" moment was an interesting insight into it and possibly the average soldier's rough outlook on trauma. But it was still very surface level I think, but I guess going too deep into the why's and how's wouldn't have been important until maybe the Scavenger centric comics that uh, never happened :/
#i'm probably reading too much into it. but im a sucker for war stories and such in fiction. esp sci fi.#i grew up military. so its like. i need to know the details within the media im reading. or else it feels poorly done or handled#and tf is frequently at its core a story of war. even in g1 it covered that fact. loss and coping and stuff#and idw1 is best in the post-war era. but it only sometimes dips into the real nitty gritty of what that all entails for ex-soldiers#the scavs are particularly interesting in that sense. since none of them were ''important''. they were tragically deemed disposable#and like. the bit where krok is explaining what happened during the war was just so good. just the disillusion and betrayal and hurt-#-towards megatron and the high command. like. argh. it was just *chefs kiss* when it comes to writing an interesting ex-soldier#fulcrums line about the war being over being comparable to the sky no longer being blue is also just. ough. esp since he wasn't a soldier#it just shows how ingrained the war was in every bot and cons life. and its so tragic and fascinating and augh#and like. the cons are awful. yeah. but they're also just an army chock full of random people with their own unique views and opinions#and the scavs are great vessels for telling that angle. that perspective. of just being someone swept up in it all#they're great comedy relief and all too. but theres so much fascinating story potential there too of hardships and disillusion#i mean. the whole deal with the djd?? the comparisons?? the hypocrisy bcs they're all bad people but for different reasons???#i could go on for hours about it. and i actually have and it's never coherent. but its like my fav thing about cons#which is probably a bit weird. i've been told having an interest in fictional wars and its effects is weird. but idk#its personal for me. you grow up hearing shit from vets and what they've been through. their own disillusions and it sticks with you#i'm gonna stop before i start to vent lol. but yeah. just krok and his ptsd and the greater untouched trauma within post-war cons
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hey i might be controversial but im not really feeling the 12th doctor so far
#idkk idk what to thinkkk#i finished s8 today#im just nottt feeling ittt#i just think i might hate how moffat writes no matter what it is fdvxcdfdfv#i actually don't know WHAT is wrong because it's like... things i SHOULD be enjoying but im not it feels like its bad#idk idkkkk#i just feel there's something lacking and i felt the exact same way through the entire 11th doctor era#its just even worse now because i guess im tired#like im so desperate to enjoy this doctor like i did 9 and 10 and i just cant?? cant enjoy the companions and side characters as much eithe#idk man :(#i need to watch some older dw stuff and see if im idealizing the old episodes lmao#because i really want to have a fair opinion of this showww#heeeelpp ToT#i think i just dont like the writing? but i dont know enough about writing to actually say what's wrong#theres just something wrong#ouough#i still hold so much hope everyones always so excited about 12 and i was very excited and its just not ittt#ough ok byeeee#ok wait#like i think his personality is fine and stuff is fine it's just.. the stories? the way they present them? i dont knowwww#i just dont really like moffats dw i gues...#SAD
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Uh… sorry about your boyfriend. He was bitten by a spider… yeah, we had to amputate his leg… But we also taught him how to swim and fight to the death; he’s a pro at it!
#Okay I’ll say the name of this movie; it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be (block if it disturbs you):#tusk (2014)#Forewarning you: It’s fucked up… but not as bad as TETSUO in my opinion. This one is at least lighthearted…#aside from the main actor’s gut-wrenching screams (good god)#body horror tw#At some point a movie becomes so disturbing that it reverses polarity and you can’t take it seriously#The directors knew this and used it to make a horror comedy film… that you can actually take seriously#It worked beautifully#You have this jerk who jokes about others’ trauma (including losing a leg and cultural genocide for instance)#And by the end of the film; he himself has lost both legs and has become the victim to cruel human experimentation#And when his jokester friends come to his aid; none of the people they ask for help take it seriously#And the whole thing started because this guy wanted to exploit the victim of a freak accident for views#for his horribly insensitively-named podcast#And he didn’t get help in time because he cheated on his girlfriend which caused her to cheat on him#which then caused her not to pick up the phone when he called for help until the next morning because she was with his costar#And help was delayed also because of the name of his podcast being an atrocity no one wanted a part of#ough… yes… haha… YES.#Play stupid games; win stupid prizes — The Movie#Wonderful#Glorious#whoever played the villain really made the movie… he was perfect#and I loved how they introduced the characters and their intentions by doing asides (is that the correct term?)#Clean work#AND by finding the movie (and the post-credits meta podcast banter) funny; you yourself are laughing at someone’s trauma#so the universe might pay YOU back
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Is it even possible to buy a pokemon game at a reasonable price anymore?
Even the secondhand ones can be over £50, some are MORE than the recently released ones (which are also overpriced considering the quality imo)
#shut up ray#been scrolling through ebay#endlessly….#managed to find some but if i actually get a single game that works ill be amazed#some ppl were just selling the fucking empty box for over a tenner#which is just ???????????#ITS A CHEAPLY MADE PLASTIC BOX#i wanted a pokemon platinum cartridge but they were like £50 lowest#which is fucking disgusting genuinely to me#only one was new#that game is like 10yrs old? maybe a lil older#but its not a fucking hand-made antique art piece fml#its a fucking video game mass-produced by a corporate thing#a thing that now produces overpriced crap#i just OUGH fuck offfffff#i have my opinions on pokemon cards being excessively pricey#but atleast they are just collectable crap#imagine me selling my fucking old pokemon games for £70 id feel like a fucking lunatic#it wasnt even that much when it was first released but now its be worn down by use?#fuck capitalism
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The thing about my brain constantly narrating my actions and my creative processes and that sometimes I'll just think something completely out of left field and I just gotta sit with that
#sorry sorry drawing something and I was think about how I would feasibly structure parts in a robot body#and Idrk why and where I got this from but I always think the hardrive should be a center piece#like I always describe hardrives as the heart and brain of a computer so I place it. where the heart would be#but I don't really think about how it would be protected it's just kinda. There amount the wires#and like. idk I've had a few too many thoughts about someone holding my heart and like. there's something about it man#like the amount of trust you'd have to put into a person to do that. Completely unfeasible fantasy yeah#But I think I'm making that feasible with the way I think about robot internals because there isn't like. an equivalent of a ribcage#so like ough....that type of thing is feasible to do to them#sorry sorry#I think this is gonna change people's opinions on me maybe now that I've in-tag mentioned that I think about people holding my heart yeag#I think it'd be pretty epic if it was feasible yeag#Android.txt
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SORRY TO TAKE SUCH A HARD LEFT BUT HOW DO YOU THINK JO FOUND OUT ARAKAWA WAS DEAD
IM GOING TO SCREAM IF I TRY TO THINK ABOUT THAT NOOOOO I GOTTA GET BACK TO YOU IN 5-7 BUSINESS DAYS WITH THAT ONE............
#snap chats#id shit and cry if aoki was the one that told him in a condescending/bitchy way yk what i mean#like as if to jab at jo like 'oh dont worry about dealing with dad- since you were too incompetent to do it i had someone else handle it'#not that word for word im SURE but yk what i mean. just GENERALLY thats the energy#the timing of this ask is soooo funny i was just talkin to my twit friend bout arasawa#and how youve been inspiring me to draw it more again as of late and this is NOT helping !!!! i am ADDING IT to my LIST#cause i want to be in pain i guess (;´༎ຶ▽༎ຶ`) I JUST SEE IT SO CLEARLY IN MY HEAD EGUUUGHH#im still gonna chew on the idea of How tho im still gonna chew on it cause i have other stuff lined up Obvi but..... OUGH PAIN...#verrrrry awkward when i post a thing in liek an hour cause that shit gon be a lil cute so then i just got this in the back of my dome ☠️☠️#thank you........#throwing up as i remember aoki being like 'you're acting strange lately' brb#OUUGHHGH dying.#LIKE IM JUST THINKIG OF ALL THE EMOTIONS JO WOULDVE BEEN FEELING- /ESP/ IF HE WAS IN FRONT OF AOKI#how would he even cope... i mean judging by the eye scene Not Well butu OUUGHvLKJVALKJ#ITS THE CONFLICTED FEELINGS AGAIN CAUSE LIKE he SHOUULDNT care as much as he does right...#arakawa was just his boss... but if THAT was the case why not take him out when jo was first asked too.....#aoki is his priority in life right...... arakawa wasn't supposed to be anyone important BUT THEN HE DID BECOME IMPORTANT#making myself throw up#anyway this is why jo shouldve been allowed to rip tendo to shreds. in my humble opinion. <- sobbing#NAWWW IT THE WAY I HAVE TO GO OUT WITH MY SIS RIGHT AFTER THIS WELKFJALFKJLKVJ#I CANT BE NORMALLLLL
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praying that this one artist i watch livestream doesn't ever look at my chat history bc i feel like I look really weird through it 😭 I have immense anxiety among other issues so I'll usually only manage to work up the nerve to send One (1) random msg in chat at some point during a stream and then immediately feel like I have done smth terribly wrong (even if I am just agreeing with everyone else in chat ???) and not be able to send anything else the entire rest of the stream
so my message history would just be like... one completely random comment per stream and nothing else and I feel like that probably looks really really strange fjfkdl
#its so awful bc I'm like... good at talking to ppl usually#or i CAN be good if I have the energy to do so#but a lot of my conversational skills revolve around asking ppl abt themselves and not saying my own things#bc thats all I've ever been able to do my entire life fjfkdl nobody has ever rly asked much abt me or taken an interest in me and my things#so when it comes to having my own opinions or ideas or whatnot... that's terrifying to try to communicate to other ppl fjdldl#it just sucks so bad bc i think i could get along very well w many ppl if i just... didnt feel like the worlds worst person to be around#today and yesterday have been difficult so my brain is biting me rn fjfkdl idk what is wrong w me these past couple days fjfkdl#there is no real evidence for it but i feel like everything I've said and done the past few days has been awful and wrong and mistakes ough#it will be okay fjfkdl it will pass eventually like it always does shfkdl it is just a matter of coping thru it and how long it'll last#sorry for a weird vent for this blog dnfkdl im just panicking a little for no apparent reason fjdksl#vent //#dandy.cmd
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"you can't judge fictional characters, they're not real ?" imagine these people showing up to book group having refused to form any thoughts or opinions on the characters or events because "well... it isn't real 😏🧠" like............
#99.txt#buddy im pretty sure thats. one of THE main ways of analyzing and engaging with fiction. is to. have opinions on the ppl and things in it#but ough i forgot its not reallll 🤦♂️ silly me heres your smartest person in the room award
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I need to stop being a hater on everyone’s wbn suvi and ame opinions but my god
#worlds beyond number#twtwtwo#fox's they've already caught you spiel would be cute if ame was worried about being caught. which she is#but she's WAY more worried about upsetting her friends. which you cannot apply the fuck it we ball mindset#it's not about ame doing what she wants it's specifically about her doing what she wants with the knowledge#that her friends do not want to do it with her#idk I didn't feel like the 'I've never judged you' line rang true either#like ame SHOULD be judging suvi and I just desperately need enough episodes to come out for ame to stop straddling the line#of never judging suvi and also being against what suvi does pretty fundamentally (again. for good reasons)#bc like ya ame is a sweetie but at a certain point u need to voice ur opinion if you want things to get done#and it is PAINFUL watching her and the story clearly know suvi is wrong but ALSO say very little to stop her#and eursolon is such a nonentity bc lou wilson is so so good and made a heartbreaking pc#he's too tired and scared to properly take sides and when he does. ough#anyway it was a great great great episode but every take I've seen has driven me up a goddamn wall#one of those things where it's actively ruining my enjoyment of ame as a character bc of how people have responded to her
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whats that one post btw thats like. hearing about discourse u didnt know existed and it's like a fuckin shark fin swimming past or w/e. actually idk if it was about sharks but it was some kind of simile or something. anyway thats how i feel like 90% of the time someone brings up a twst discourse i literally never know what's going on except for like one. one thing(?)
#even then it's not a Big Thing LOL clenches heartslabyul in my hands so tightly tho#MY one thing is seeing ppl disregard the friendships between trey cay and riddle but OUGH i am not getting into that today#AND EVEN STILL i have to be cool like. ppl can interoperate things differently or play in the space lol i gotta chill#i think. some people mayhaps are misunderstanding things or also maybe dont remember certain details LOL#but also are we not all victims of not remembering every detail to media or sometimes getting confused kfsjflks#or simply having other opinions#it is okay my solution is to simply not engage in the fanart or fics i dont like LOL peace and love on planet earth my friends#well i guess i also complain. but like i gotta chill fr#anyway BESIDES THAT LOL#i saw a blog that was like 'number 1 trey clover defender' and i was like PEOPLE ARE HATING ON TREY???????#maybe ignorance is bliss. maybe i prefer not to see it. godspeed tho ill defend him too if i gotta#anyway sometimes it is nice being in my little hole on the outside actually#i like to talk to people but sometimes it's too much and too scary lol#im busy talking to myself on my blog anyway teehee#wait actually i lied . i forgot some people dont like rook. im going to explode about it actually kjsjfklHJKLDSJGKLDJK#i like literally always forget bc the ppl i talk to and myself we LOVE ROOK and then i stumble into a post slandering him or w/e#and im like WHERE AM I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS MY BOY WHAT DA HELL 😭😭😭#IT'S SCARY OUT IN THE WILD MAN
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Ancha I mean this in literally every possible positive way, this is what I'm doing with this drabble rn (I love it dearly and mere words or keyboard smash cannot describe the way I am going feral over it)
Gifted drabble - New Age Au - The Eye of the Storm
Hey @spotaus !! I am back as I told you I would be because you gave me MORE brainworms! Remember us talking about the magic system? or me just yapping and rambling about it hahah.
And the thing you mentioned about how Geno would react to seeing Dust's storm? Yeah. Brainworms.
Either way. It can all still be changed as Spotaus and I discuss the magic system and how everything works.
So warning? ish? Deep intimacy by showing the soul. reference to past toxic relationship ship is DustedAfterDeath
This is them FAR beyond their toxic arc youall. They relationship is healthy and full of consent at this point :3
*---------------*
Dust frowns as he stares at the door.
It is fine.
It isn't that big of a deal.
Just get it over with.
Dust sighs as he rubs the soft cotton of his hoody. He is still in his casual wear for now. He had a few days off and he hardly ever wore his uniform on those days nowadays. Especially when Geno and Reaper visit.
He is still a bit unsure about this whole relationship between them. Dust wants to say he fully trusts them but... well... after...
It is hard.
Which is why Dust had decided to just make this jump. Fuck it. Show them the disgusting mess that is his soul and get it over with. They will see it. Be disgusted. Break off whatever this relationship is and be done with it.
Easy.
Dust takes another deep breath as he feels his storm around his soul rumble unhappily. He needs to remain calm. That will keep his storm calm enough to make it safe for them to look at it.
Dust does not want a repeat of the many times he zapped others with lightning. Even a tiny warning zap is stronger than a full blown lightning strike at this point. Dust frowns as he taps the doorknob. Maybe this isn't a good idea after all...
He may have enough control to form actual attacks but actually keeping it calm?
What if he hurts them? They will hate him...
Then again... if they see the mess that his soul is...
Or worse... Dust was right after all and Geno and Reaper just wanted to know how his storm works and it was all still fake. He was being blind again and falling for the exact same trick again.
Then again... they don't know how deeply connected to his soul it is. No one knows aside from Nightmare and his fellow Knights. They don't even speak about that out loud unless they are in a very secure room and know they are alone.
Even with all of Geno's past prodding and hinting Dust never told him that. Even if Dust knew that Geno wanted to know how he had such powerful magic. It was his secret. and Dust had been willing to take it to the grave with him...
Dust offered to show them his soul. Take the next step before they could move their relationship towards soulplay and other acts like it. They didn't know that they would find out the source of his magic...
Which brings him back to this exact point. Wouldn't it be better to just get it over with? If they really are still lying about everything... Wouldn't it be better to know it? To be able to let it go and move on?
Not that Dust thinks he can move on. If he could have he would have after the first mess that this relationship was.
But Dust is aparently an idiot because he is trying this again even if the chance it will hurt is much larger than the chance that this will be alright.
Okay that is not fair. They had been so much more honest about this whole relationship and Geno didn't even mention or ask about his magic since the mess that it had been. He also acutally paid attention to the few things Dust said now...
Then why did he still feel like a speciman? Like a project?
He doesn't like that... Feeling like that. It was why he was fine with being a crimelord before. Why he liked being a knight. No one looked at him with pity when he did either of those. Neither of those positions ever made people look at him like... like... some magical experiment...
His family had meant well... The mage who did this to save his life meant well... but it didn't change the way they looked at him... The worry he would just drop over and be gone. Then later the fear that the magic stabilizing him would just stop working... Then... Then the worry... after he started to cause damage.
Dust glares at the door. Fuck it. Either he is going to prove himself right that they really are still just after information and then he can finally bury these feelings and be done with it all. Or...
Or...
Dust shakes his skull as he pushes the hope down. Don't hope. That gets you hurt.
He knocks on the door and enters as soon as Reaper welcomes him in.
Reaper smiles brightly at him "Dust you are here already. How was your day off?"
Dust shrugs and mutters fine. He hadn't done that much today. Mostly spend time with the horses as he tried to not feel anxious about what he was about to do now.
Reaper keeps smiling "I am happy to hear this." He shoots his mate a look.
Geno looks terrible... mostly because he is obviously anxious and nervous, maybe even uncomfortable.
Dust huffs as he crosses his arms, feeling defensive "You can just say you aren't interested. It was just an idea." It had been Dust's idea after all.
Geno shakes his skull as he messes with soemthing in his lap. Some spell probably. Geno looks nervous "It isn't that i... don't want to... That isn't the issue... It is just... you never seemed comfortable with anything close to this... and then this?" he glances at Reaper.
Reaper picks up easily "Are you sure this is what you are comfortable with?"
Dust shrugs. He isn't. But it is best to get it over with. But the doubt either will like to hear that answer.
Reaper looks fond at him, it makes Dust's soul do this weird little flip thing it is unfair Reaper looks at him like that, "Can you please explain Dust? We wish to understand."
That is something that had surprised Dust. How much they want him to talk or tell them how he feels. Dust finds it unfair. Before Geno didn't even bother to listen to the few things Dust did talk about and now he pays attention? It is just so different. Dust isn't sure how to feel about it. It is nice but it also means he has to explain things he can't quite explain.
Dust searches for the right words "I want... you two to see... it." it. That is the best way to explain the storm.
Geno looks bothered as he loosk up "Why call your soul it?"
Dust shakes his skull. It isn't normal. It isn't healthy... This is dumb. They will both just be disgusted and then this little nice thing will be ruined forever.
Dust shrugs "It is hard to explain..." he decides to echo some words back "Open communication and honesty or something... Soul is not the... healthiest." there.
Reaper looks super worried as Geno looks slightly more horrified. Ugh. Yeah. that is what Dust figured. He tugs on his hood to enable himself to hide more. He wishes he still had his mask.
Reaper shakes his skull "No no love. Nothing against you... But is it safe for you then? To even summon and show your soul?" he looks worried. Geno keeps his mouth shut but he shoots both Dust and Reaper looks.
It is now or never.
Dust sighs as he takes a seat on the bed and shoots them both a look "Well?" and he waits. His hands feels the soft silky sheets on the bed. It calms him. The bed feels like the bed in his own room. Even though he prefers his cotten and woolen stuff. He keeps rubbing the sheets with his fingers as his two boyfriends take their own seats.
Both wait and share a look.
Geno grins a bit "Want me to show my soul first?"
Dust shakes his soul. He does not need to see a healthy soul before he shows his mangled one. Dust will just lose the nerve. Geno looks bothered but doesn't offer again.
Dsut takes another deep breath. Tugs his scarf higher and his hood closer around his skull before slowly tugging at this very core.
And there it is.
Dust always thought it was like a cloud. Just in a weird soul shape all around his actual soul. The tiny malnourished one that never was able to grow fully. The magic and his actual soul work well and seem to connect with tiny bolts of lightning. Dust doesn't even feel it anymore. So used to the constant zapping emitted to his very being... The zaps outwards obviously at much more harmful. as Dust can channel those into actual attacks.
He is not looking at either of them as he waits. Just because he is willing to hear it doesnt mean he wants to see the disgust and horror on their faces...
"It is beautiful..." Geno whispers and Dust can't help but snap up slightly to check. Geno is just staring with open awe at the mess that is his core. Geno doesn't even seem to notice it as he slowly reaches a hand out.
Dust moves the cloud away "Don't touch it!" he stresses it.
Geno blinks and looks confused before seeing his hand "oh shit! sorry. I didn't... i wasn't thinking... I swear i didn't... i wouldnt!" he looks anxious as he holds both arms behind his back.
Dust frowns as hekeeps looking at Geno "I mean it... I can't exactly... control it... It will zap you full force... I already fried Cross once and that was a non-lethal hit... I don't think it will like it if you get that close..."
Geno frowns but Reaper is the one who speaks "It? Why do you refer to the magic as an it?" He seems curious as he looks at the soul and spell. Seemingly enchanted.
Dust frowns as he looks at it "I... well... I tend to just call it my storm... as that is pretty much it..."
Geno seems nervous "I euh... Just so you know you can just tell me to stuff it... But... euh... why is there a very complex spell around your soul?" He looks at Dust and waits.
Dust frowns at him. He knows their question would come. It was to be expected. He looks at the spell and settles on telling the truth "It is my life support system."
Reaper jumps upright "What?" he glances at Geno "Is that normal?"
Geno looks horrified "No? Magic is too... unstable and unpredictable? Which mage... who would... why?" he sputters and seems shocked.
Dust feels more uncertain as he ducks his skull more into his scarf. It isn't that he is surprised but it still hurts... why does it still hurt so much? He knew this was going to happen.
He holds his storm closer as the rumbling in it intensifies with his own shaking emotions. This was a mistake. He recalls both and the soul and storm disappear.
That seems to snap Reaper and Geno out of their slight moment or horror and panic as they shoot him glances.
Geno inhales sharply as he reaches out "Wait! Sorry. Fuck I am sorry. I didn't mean anything negative i swear! I just don't understand. It is fine! It looked beautiful!" He smiles.
Dsut shrugs and mutters "It is fine... it is disgusting... i know..." He wants to leave. He wants to go to his room and cry a bunch... he tugs his scarf higher as he pushes back into his hood. He wants his mask. He wants to hide.
Geno shakes his skull "No. It really is gorgeous i swear! Like a geode!"
That causes him to pause and shoot Geno an disbelieving look "A geode?" the absolute absurb nature of that has to be commented on. A geode?!
Geno nods "Of course it does it is so obvious."
Dsut just raises a brow at him "Really?"
Geno nods with a stubborn tilt "summon it again! I will point it out." he holds up his hands "No touching! Just pointing."
Dust frowns but slowly brings the mess out again.
Geno grins as he scoots a bit closer before beginning to talk "Okay. It is really cool and pretty. Your soul itself is obviously the very center. Everything around it is like the geode itself protecting your soul. The crystalized minerals just barely touching your soul and that makes the colouring probably! The little crystals are all slightly differently forming and shaping and growing. Reforming new connections and growths." Geno points and motions towards the cloud nearest his soul "Around that sits the metaphorical layer of stone protecting it!" when he speaks about that he motions towards the very outer layer of his cloud.
Dust rolls his eye lights "How do you explain the zaps of electricity going outwards?" Like his storm knows waht he wants it makes a tiny zap.
Instead of looking confused Geno just gasps and stares "Holy that is beautiful... It is like... the start of anew crystal growing! It is so beautiful."
Reaper looks curiously at Dust "how do you see it?"
Dust looks to the side "You know... a storm cloud? obviously?" because it is? At least Dust thought that.
Reaper hums as he looks at it curiously "I can see both... though I think it looks more like..." and he stops.
Geno looks curiously at Reaper "what do you see?"
Reaper looks slightly embarrassed "Lets keep it at a gem and a beautiful cloud... that is much more romantic." and he smiles.
Dust tilts his skull "Come on. Tell."
Reaper sighs but stares at the soul and cloud around it with a gentle smile "It is... Sea urchin."
Geno snorts as Dust blinks confused. He had heard of those animals before but never actually seen one.
Reaper chuckles "Yes yes love. laugh it up." he looks amused.
Dust shoots him a look before looking at his soul and storm "why?"
Reaper hums and speaks slowly "Well... it is like a protective shell isn't it? Your soul is safely tugged away within the center. Where it is safe and protected by the larger shell around it." he motions towards the cloud before motioning towards the everlasting zaps "And the spines to protect the treasure that lays hidden."
Dust frowns at his soul. He never... He never thought about his soul as either of those things... His soul was just the mangled thing... while his storm was the thing powering him and keeping him whole.
Not the center of a crystal cluster thing... Not something that had a shield and spikes to protect it...
Geno scoots over and looks curiously "Why... why is that magic there? if you are okay with me knowing... It is okay if you are not..."
Dust frowns "I told you... life support..."
Reaper sits nearby "How came it to be like that?"
Dust shrugs as he messes with the magic around his soul. It doesn't harm him in the least "I wasn't exactly... healthy... When i was younger. Never was. Had no energy. Hardly any magic. I am pretty sure the doctors told my folks i wasn't even meant to survive for longer than a year... but I managed... until i was suposed to start puberty."
Geno frowns as he nods "It is when our magic and souls start to truly develop."
Dust nods "I don't.. I don't know exactly what was wrong. They never told me in details. I just know that suddenly it burned and hurt... turns out the magic that was starting to develop was kinda... burning my soul out. My soul was too weak to keep up wiht the growth it needed to help support me." He frowns "I remember many doctors and mages." them all prodding him and mentioning how it was a miracle he had even been alive as he had been. More interested in learning how his magic burned himself than anything. He thinks some of them even asked his parents if he could be a study case. "One of them had an idea... a complex web of spells to help center the magic or something and to use it to power my soul... That was at least how it was explained to me after i started to feel better."
Geno shoots upright "Wait! They didn't ask you?!"
Dust snorts "What could you expect? I was hardly awake as it was... Not like I could have given my agreement..." he shrugs "It saved my life..."
Reaper gently takes his hand and kisses it slowly. Dust can see how slow Reaper moves. Probably making sure his own magic doesn't react badly. "It is your soul love... Even if it saved your life it should still have been your choice. As it is your right."
Geno messes with his own hands "That is why... You didn't want to talk about your magic... it isn't a spell that is even meant to attack... It is your soul's whole support system... I am so sorry...." he looks away. ashamed "I know i apologised... before for pushing and everything... I am so sorry I was..." he laughs as he looks down shocked "Pretty much trying to force you to talk about your soul and show it to me? what the hell was wrong with me?"
Dust shrugs "You didn't know..." he tugs his soul back into his actual body and breaths a sigh of relieve.
Reaper frowns at him "Are you okay?"
Dust shrugs "I am fine... Just tired..." He gives a tired grin "It isn't just my suport system for my soul... My soul can't exactly make the magic and energy i need. It barely makes enough for my soul itself."
Geno stares in shock "Everythign... the spell pwoers everything about you? How..." he freezes and stops "Wait. Sorry. It isn't... it is interesting but you don't need to... I mean yes i want to know but." he glares down frustrated.
Reaper still holds his hand as he rubs the back of Dust's hand "I think what Geno means to ask is... How is it possible? How is the spell still there? In my experience spells don't last long. I know my magic is about momental protection. Not a constant force."
Dust looks at them for a moment. They don't... they don't stare at him like those mages and doctors. there is worry. but they also keep holding him. keep being near. They aren't afraid of him...
Dust figures if they haven't pulled away in disgust yet... All he risks now is his trust being betrayed which wouldn't be the first time.
Dust rubs his neck "From what i udnerstand... The weather powers it. Natural rain, hail, wind... actually everything connected to storms power it..."
Geno blinks in awe "Your storm... That is why you call it your storm and a cloud... because it is... wow..." he jsut continues to stare with open awe "It is powered by an outside constant force... adn that powers you..." he frowns "Should you be throwing lightning around then?"
Dust looks around confused "euh?"
Geno gives him a bit of a glare "I mean it. Is it even healthy for you to be throwing lightning around? Waht if you run out." more anxious and stress on his face.
Dust nods "It is fine... I before couldn't even pick when it happened. it just happened. At most i give it a target." he grins a tiny bit "there is a reason that Killer calls the spell i use 'fuck you lightning'... I don't exactly got a lot of other spells..."
Reaper chuckles and nuzzles Geno "Calm down love. trust him. He knows himself and his magic best. If he thinks it is fine it is fine."
Geno shoots Reaper a look but takes adeep rbeath and nods "right... right... sorry... i just... don't like how unpredictable it is. How will we know it will keep you safe and healthy if we aren't sure it will manage itself? That it will stop you from shooting to much lightning?" he rubs his hands "I also used to overuse my own magic. As magic rarely gives you a warning you are running out until you are almost completely out."
Dust just listens to the other. He... he isn't even asking about how he can control or replicate it. How he can use it. All geno is worried about is it somehow getting unbalanced...
The fear slowly disappears...
Which is when his body decides to make it very obvious it does not appreciate Dust removing his storm from his body. He yawns and feels his socket becoe heavier. Yeah. he expected as much.
Geno looks panicked as Reaper rubs his back "Are you alright?"
Dust shrugs as he rubs the sleep from his sockets "I am fine. Body doesn't appreciate me removing my soul for a long time. Just need to give it time to settle and calm down."
Reaper hums as he pulls Dust slowly against him "You can rest. thank you for trusting us with this love." a soft kiss to his skull as Dust lounges against Reaper. Reaper's clothes are always warm and brimmed with magic. reinforced to make sure Reaper's deadly magic doesn't get through if he is stressed. It makes for a very soft living pillow.
Geno meanwhile is muttering about maybe making a tiny sensor. Just to give Dust a warning signal in case his magic levels get dangerously low. Just as an extra warning and protection for him. Reaper chastises Geno gently but Dust isn't paying much attention.
He is exhausted. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. But it was worth it. Maybe he didn't have to be worried after all.
#Ancha u can't just say 'oh whoopsy it's unrefined' and then throw the most heartwrenching tasty drabble at me like it's nothing!!!!!#i think it helps that this is my ot3 of all time (<- shameless moment) but even if it hadn't been that!!!! augh!!!!!! this is so good!!!!#the beats hit just right! all the worrying from Dust the gentleness from Reaper and Geno- Geno still learning and holding himself back from#being overbearing and showing his regret. the. the !!!!!#the motivation and thoughts of Dust and his obviously bottom of the barrel opinion on himself vs the reactions of the others!!!#and gods I cannot get over the way Geno and Reaper describe the visions!!! and how it reflects them!!!#Geno with the Geode??? THE FUCKING GEODE???? ough it's so smart and poetic and I LOVE Dust's confusion!! because no one's gotten a good look#at it since the Knights+Night and like. the 2 magic users just saw auras (I think Night and Cross have very stereotypical imaginations on#the nature of these things and visualize them similarly-) and no one went into detail because it was brief!!!#and ofc Geno would have this huge complex perspective!#and when I tell you I squeaked with joy at Reaper's characterization this whole time- “Clouds and crystals are much more romantic” my#beloved.... 10/10 line... immediately followed by the announcement of a sea urchin??? it's SO GOOD- I'm gonna sob!!!#and the clear domesticness between Gen + Reaper got me good... Geno laughing about Reaper's take on the spell and the way they bounce from#eachother so nicely?? and-#and I loved the little 'Wanna see mine first?' from Geno and Dust calling it normal because!!! boy you have NO idea!!!!#ohhh they all just make me so weak. Ancha you have theif dynamic down so so well and it was so soft.... them worrying about him and Dust#deciding to trust them only for it to go Right! and the amount of trust they just earned because Dust was then willing-#WILLING TO TAKE A NAP???? Ohhhhh I'm going crazy- oh I love it-#and the lil details too like him fidgeting with the blanket and tugging his scarf and feeling Reaper's cloak??? oughhhhh tasty....#I'm sorry back to the nap thing: One VERY good idea! because leaving his soul out too long really would strain the spell and make him eepy#as he gets more disconnected from it! Two HELLO???? Hello Geno and Reaper's worry immediately followed by Dust deciding he was okay to take#a rest? ohhh my gods.#and I keep thinking of more as I roll it in my brain. the Dust not getting a say in the poking+prodding+choices because he was pretty much#falling down at any given moment? Reaper voicing his support of Dust after it? and Geno with the cute lil idea of a magical heart-monitor??#you wrote this so well!!!!#even if it might be unpolished compared to your normal standard I need you to know I am in awe of it!!! Holding it up above my head#in excitement!!! losing my mind!!! the pacing is so so good and the characterization is on point and the magic system is beautiful!!!!#okay ik this is WAY ahead in the timeline but I still am going to make this scene like. an end-goal lead-up for the plot <3 <3
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Propaganda
James Stewart (It's a Wonderful Life, The Philadelphia Story, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington)—the thing about Jimmy Stewart is that for a weird-enough looking guy, he is yet somehow SO hot and SO believable, ALWAYS. He always plays the same person—he's always, well, Jimmy Stewart—yet that person can be a murderer, a dark cynic, a naive idealist, the boy next door or an old man who knows better, and every one of those is hot. I would jump his bones in a heartbeat
Toshiro Mifune (Rashumon, Seven Samurai, Grand Prix, Stray Dog)—i love and respect my boi tab hunter (rest in peace you beautiful, beautiful man ❤️), but after i watched like 12 of his movies in a row on tcm last year, i ALSO love and respect toshiro mifune, son of a literal actual hatamoto’s (a high-ranking samurai) daughter, also very possibly related to the best judokan EVER, AND, he’s the guy who SHOULD have been obi-wan kenobi. the fact that he’s ALSO hot as hell just adds to his appeal.
This is round 4 of the bracket. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage man.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
James Stewart propaganda:
"Ough I saw him first in It's A Wonderful Life, where he is very charming as a suicidal family man being absolutely crushed by capitalism. But then. The Philadelphia Story, in my opinion, should get the same kind of press The Mummy does for being a bisexual dream. Now I'm not really bi (not into women) and it's honestly up for debate whether i'm attracted to men or not, but COME ON!! The movie stars James Stewart as well as Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn (and Ruth Hussey). Stewart plays a common working man, a journalist, to contrast with Grant's character, who is mega-rich. He is scrappy and hates rich people. Hot! They have a whole scene together where he's super drunk and being really physical with his acting, which I love because he is kinda wet noodle shaped. Hot! He carries Hepburn in his arms while singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow. Hot! He gets punched in the face by Cary Grant. Hot!!! In The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence, we get to see him portray an alternative type of masculinity, opposite John Wayne doing John Wayne. He is even more wet noodle-y, to put emphasis on his incompatibility with the rugged masculinity of the cow-boy, he wears an apron for a lot of the film, again, to blur his masculinity, and he gets shot. Hot! Also he's older here, if that's your thing. Long story short: He's giving librarian chic and The Philadelphia Story made me want to be poly."
youtube
“Here he is next to Grant, in what I believe to be a promotional shot for The Philadelphia Story. Please don’t get distracted by Grant (or do, i’m submitting him next).”
“He’s a nice guy and a good guy and deserves all the happiness and joy ever! Classic boy next door/class president kid that everyone loves for real. Stand-up for the Little Guy vibes. With a charming fun side!!”
Toshiro Mifune propaganda:
"In addition, he spoke fluent mandarin and every time he was casted in foreign films, he said his lines in the language of the movie (although they ended up dubbing him. He wasn’t happy about it though).”
Submitted: this gifset
Also submitted: this video (yes, that one)
"Crucial Toshiro Mifune propaganda: THOSE LEGS."
"That is hella muscle. Go watch The Hidden Fortress, aka Star Wars A New Hope. His thighs deserve an award."
#toshiro mifune#james stewart#jimmy stewart#hotvintagepoll#round 4#fuck ! that ! old ! man ! ! !#Youtube
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