#but ough I have Opinions on that thing
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OKAY I have written my essay on why I Do Not like the skyscale and my very specific personal problems with it. Not posted yet but hopefully soon but skfjsj I am Afraid of people being mean ;w;
#I think I’ve made it clear I don’t Hate the scale#and i think it’s amazingly animated and very useful for a lot of people#I even use it as my secondary mount after griffon#but ough I have Opinions on that thing
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pro tip: you can always put the bugs in little outfits :thumbsup:
#rain world#five pebbles#lttm#looks to the moon#no im not procratsinating what im actully drawing to put the bugs in fun outfits what are you talking about#anyhow uh yeah man been a lil since i uploaded anything huh. that will not be changing. stay tuned for as scarce art as always. we stay thr#anyhow! you know i have done similar scehctehs alot and i always do the undershirt longshirt for them cause i feel like moon would like it#nd pebbles got it from her even if hed hate to adit it. sometimes your older sister figure has good taste (subjective) and you will never r#each her high#anyhow also i like desiging tshirt prints even if its always a pain when i need to do it#ough#anyhow i have suns also if anyone wanna see that i suppose?#otherwise hmmmm well if anyones reading this who has an opinion i wokring on a comic and concidering if i should wait with posting and do t#e whole thing once i anage to struggle through adding the text#or if i will be weak and post my fave parts beforehand for funnsies hmmmm many choises someone tell me what to do i hate making choises#uh for anyone not intrestied in my long tag rabling music rec for today is cop car by mitski!!!! and not at all because ive been watching a#disco elysium aniatic with that song on loop on youtube for days#thats not soemthing id do#anyhow anyhow!!!!#my art#see i can remmeber that tag sometimes :)#oh also an its nice to go back to drawing these guys after weeks of my own rw ocs. strange experince man#^-^
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Twitter Day 1: Wow, there’s so much gorgeous Kabru art here! This is awesome! I love Twitter!
Twitter Day 19: *gritting my teeth while I type* Hi, OP! I think calling Kabru a fascist who’s literally Hitler isn’t a very reasonable take. Just out of curiosity, when’s the last time you watched and/or read Dungeon Meshi and/or looked up the definition of fascist and/or looked up what Hitler did? I think maybe you should go look at those again. Thanks!
#I’m not even exaggerating someone literally called Kabru Hitler on Twitter I’m not making this up oh my god#this is like the worst thing anybody could’ve said about my favorite character ever#Kabru??? As Hitler??? Hello??? Even if you’re an anime-only how would you have come to this conclusion#this just in autistic bitch spasming on the floor after special interest blorbo was called Hitler#I guess you could say I’m starting to see why people say Twitter is evil#trying so hard to stay civil and by civil I mean not fall to the floor crying and praying that media literacy becomes universal#I don’t care if you hate him because like you have a right to your own opinion but how are you going to compare him to Hitler#if you’re going to hate him at least do it for the things he actually did???#bro 😭#I don’t know whether I should say something or not I feel like I’m falling victim to Twitter’s starting fights to keep you invested thing#also I don’t think the OP will change their mind but like ough#I feel like I’ve taken 999999999999999999999999 psychic damage#rope/spider post
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With Krok now on my mind, it's reminded me of like, the whole deal of him coping with the loss of his squad by believing they'd just become separated? Because that bit is such a fascinating aspect of his character to me.
It's vague in a way that doesn't totally confirm whether he truly 100% deluded himself, or if he just kept telling himself that to try and distract from the truth and memories he didn't want to face.
(Which, for some reason this pisses Misfire off? Which implies something really interesting there about Misfire and his own coping mechanisms and issues that we don't get much of a peer into unfortunately.)
Anyway, I spent way too long thinking about it when I was reading through the comics. And it's like, did studying battles and strategy play a part in this delusion/lie?
Like, you're a being that lives for millions of years, in the middle of a war spanning those millions of years. So, at some point, surely those battles are going to start to blur together. So you've got that, and then you go and face a frankly horrifically traumatic fight that quite literally rips the people you cared about most, and felt responsible for, apart.
Presumably, Decepticons aren't the greatest at handling shell shock and other such side effects of war. So they just take this freshly traumatized mess of a dude, take him off the front lines and plant him on a warworld to aid the fight from a more comfortable distance.
With all this, the mind is bound to be fickle when faced with such sudden loss and change. But Krok obviously did his job there, or at least he was very knowledgeable on history and tactics beforehand.
Either way, he studied battle after battle, went through records of fight after fight, planned for what's next and reconsidered what had already happened. Hundreds of wins and losses.
So did it get jumbled there? In having a head full of battles, did some of them blur and mix with the one that took everything away from him? In trying to solve the failures of past battles, did he try and find where a victory could've been had against the wreckers that day? Did he find a solution that would've had his squad still whole and alive?
From there, did it slip into delusion, or a desperate lie to keep himself going?
I feel like his "mental health matters" moment was an interesting insight into it and possibly the average soldier's rough outlook on trauma. But it was still very surface level I think, but I guess going too deep into the why's and how's wouldn't have been important until maybe the Scavenger centric comics that uh, never happened :/
#i'm probably reading too much into it. but im a sucker for war stories and such in fiction. esp sci fi.#i grew up military. so its like. i need to know the details within the media im reading. or else it feels poorly done or handled#and tf is frequently at its core a story of war. even in g1 it covered that fact. loss and coping and stuff#and idw1 is best in the post-war era. but it only sometimes dips into the real nitty gritty of what that all entails for ex-soldiers#the scavs are particularly interesting in that sense. since none of them were ''important''. they were tragically deemed disposable#and like. the bit where krok is explaining what happened during the war was just so good. just the disillusion and betrayal and hurt-#-towards megatron and the high command. like. argh. it was just *chefs kiss* when it comes to writing an interesting ex-soldier#fulcrums line about the war being over being comparable to the sky no longer being blue is also just. ough. esp since he wasn't a soldier#it just shows how ingrained the war was in every bot and cons life. and its so tragic and fascinating and augh#and like. the cons are awful. yeah. but they're also just an army chock full of random people with their own unique views and opinions#and the scavs are great vessels for telling that angle. that perspective. of just being someone swept up in it all#they're great comedy relief and all too. but theres so much fascinating story potential there too of hardships and disillusion#i mean. the whole deal with the djd?? the comparisons?? the hypocrisy bcs they're all bad people but for different reasons???#i could go on for hours about it. and i actually have and it's never coherent. but its like my fav thing about cons#which is probably a bit weird. i've been told having an interest in fictional wars and its effects is weird. but idk#its personal for me. you grow up hearing shit from vets and what they've been through. their own disillusions and it sticks with you#i'm gonna stop before i start to vent lol. but yeah. just krok and his ptsd and the greater untouched trauma within post-war cons
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hey i might be controversial but im not really feeling the 12th doctor so far
#idkk idk what to thinkkk#i finished s8 today#im just nottt feeling ittt#i just think i might hate how moffat writes no matter what it is fdvxcdfdfv#i actually don't know WHAT is wrong because it's like... things i SHOULD be enjoying but im not it feels like its bad#idk idkkkk#i just feel there's something lacking and i felt the exact same way through the entire 11th doctor era#its just even worse now because i guess im tired#like im so desperate to enjoy this doctor like i did 9 and 10 and i just cant?? cant enjoy the companions and side characters as much eithe#idk man :(#i need to watch some older dw stuff and see if im idealizing the old episodes lmao#because i really want to have a fair opinion of this showww#heeeelpp ToT#i think i just dont like the writing? but i dont know enough about writing to actually say what's wrong#theres just something wrong#ouough#i still hold so much hope everyones always so excited about 12 and i was very excited and its just not ittt#ough ok byeeee#ok wait#like i think his personality is fine and stuff is fine it's just.. the stories? the way they present them? i dont knowwww#i just dont really like moffats dw i gues...#SAD
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Uh… sorry about your boyfriend. He was bitten by a spider… yeah, we had to amputate his leg… But we also taught him how to swim and fight to the death; he’s a pro at it!
#Okay I’ll say the name of this movie; it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be (block if it disturbs you):#tusk (2014)#Forewarning you: It’s fucked up… but not as bad as TETSUO in my opinion. This one is at least lighthearted…#aside from the main actor’s gut-wrenching screams (good god)#body horror tw#At some point a movie becomes so disturbing that it reverses polarity and you can’t take it seriously#The directors knew this and used it to make a horror comedy film… that you can actually take seriously#It worked beautifully#You have this jerk who jokes about others’ trauma (including losing a leg and cultural genocide for instance)#And by the end of the film; he himself has lost both legs and has become the victim to cruel human experimentation#And when his jokester friends come to his aid; none of the people they ask for help take it seriously#And the whole thing started because this guy wanted to exploit the victim of a freak accident for views#for his horribly insensitively-named podcast#And he didn’t get help in time because he cheated on his girlfriend which caused her to cheat on him#which then caused her not to pick up the phone when he called for help until the next morning because she was with his costar#And help was delayed also because of the name of his podcast being an atrocity no one wanted a part of#ough… yes… haha… YES.#Play stupid games; win stupid prizes — The Movie#Wonderful#Glorious#whoever played the villain really made the movie… he was perfect#and I loved how they introduced the characters and their intentions by doing asides (is that the correct term?)#Clean work#AND by finding the movie (and the post-credits meta podcast banter) funny; you yourself are laughing at someone’s trauma#so the universe might pay YOU back
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Is it even possible to buy a pokemon game at a reasonable price anymore?
Even the secondhand ones can be over £50, some are MORE than the recently released ones (which are also overpriced considering the quality imo)
#shut up ray#been scrolling through ebay#endlessly….#managed to find some but if i actually get a single game that works ill be amazed#some ppl were just selling the fucking empty box for over a tenner#which is just ???????????#ITS A CHEAPLY MADE PLASTIC BOX#i wanted a pokemon platinum cartridge but they were like £50 lowest#which is fucking disgusting genuinely to me#only one was new#that game is like 10yrs old? maybe a lil older#but its not a fucking hand-made antique art piece fml#its a fucking video game mass-produced by a corporate thing#a thing that now produces overpriced crap#i just OUGH fuck offfffff#i have my opinions on pokemon cards being excessively pricey#but atleast they are just collectable crap#imagine me selling my fucking old pokemon games for £70 id feel like a fucking lunatic#it wasnt even that much when it was first released but now its be worn down by use?#fuck capitalism
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The thing about my brain constantly narrating my actions and my creative processes and that sometimes I'll just think something completely out of left field and I just gotta sit with that
#sorry sorry drawing something and I was think about how I would feasibly structure parts in a robot body#and Idrk why and where I got this from but I always think the hardrive should be a center piece#like I always describe hardrives as the heart and brain of a computer so I place it. where the heart would be#but I don't really think about how it would be protected it's just kinda. There amount the wires#and like. idk I've had a few too many thoughts about someone holding my heart and like. there's something about it man#like the amount of trust you'd have to put into a person to do that. Completely unfeasible fantasy yeah#But I think I'm making that feasible with the way I think about robot internals because there isn't like. an equivalent of a ribcage#so like ough....that type of thing is feasible to do to them#sorry sorry#I think this is gonna change people's opinions on me maybe now that I've in-tag mentioned that I think about people holding my heart yeag#I think it'd be pretty epic if it was feasible yeag#Android.txt
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SORRY TO TAKE SUCH A HARD LEFT BUT HOW DO YOU THINK JO FOUND OUT ARAKAWA WAS DEAD
IM GOING TO SCREAM IF I TRY TO THINK ABOUT THAT NOOOOO I GOTTA GET BACK TO YOU IN 5-7 BUSINESS DAYS WITH THAT ONE............
#snap chats#id shit and cry if aoki was the one that told him in a condescending/bitchy way yk what i mean#like as if to jab at jo like 'oh dont worry about dealing with dad- since you were too incompetent to do it i had someone else handle it'#not that word for word im SURE but yk what i mean. just GENERALLY thats the energy#the timing of this ask is soooo funny i was just talkin to my twit friend bout arasawa#and how youve been inspiring me to draw it more again as of late and this is NOT helping !!!! i am ADDING IT to my LIST#cause i want to be in pain i guess (;´༎ຶ▽༎ຶ`) I JUST SEE IT SO CLEARLY IN MY HEAD EGUUUGHH#im still gonna chew on the idea of How tho im still gonna chew on it cause i have other stuff lined up Obvi but..... OUGH PAIN...#verrrrry awkward when i post a thing in liek an hour cause that shit gon be a lil cute so then i just got this in the back of my dome ☠️☠️#thank you........#throwing up as i remember aoki being like 'you're acting strange lately' brb#OUUGHHGH dying.#LIKE IM JUST THINKIG OF ALL THE EMOTIONS JO WOULDVE BEEN FEELING- /ESP/ IF HE WAS IN FRONT OF AOKI#how would he even cope... i mean judging by the eye scene Not Well butu OUUGHvLKJVALKJ#ITS THE CONFLICTED FEELINGS AGAIN CAUSE LIKE he SHOUULDNT care as much as he does right...#arakawa was just his boss... but if THAT was the case why not take him out when jo was first asked too.....#aoki is his priority in life right...... arakawa wasn't supposed to be anyone important BUT THEN HE DID BECOME IMPORTANT#making myself throw up#anyway this is why jo shouldve been allowed to rip tendo to shreds. in my humble opinion. <- sobbing#NAWWW IT THE WAY I HAVE TO GO OUT WITH MY SIS RIGHT AFTER THIS WELKFJALFKJLKVJ#I CANT BE NORMALLLLL
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praying that this one artist i watch livestream doesn't ever look at my chat history bc i feel like I look really weird through it 😭 I have immense anxiety among other issues so I'll usually only manage to work up the nerve to send One (1) random msg in chat at some point during a stream and then immediately feel like I have done smth terribly wrong (even if I am just agreeing with everyone else in chat ???) and not be able to send anything else the entire rest of the stream
so my message history would just be like... one completely random comment per stream and nothing else and I feel like that probably looks really really strange fjfkdl
#its so awful bc I'm like... good at talking to ppl usually#or i CAN be good if I have the energy to do so#but a lot of my conversational skills revolve around asking ppl abt themselves and not saying my own things#bc thats all I've ever been able to do my entire life fjfkdl nobody has ever rly asked much abt me or taken an interest in me and my things#so when it comes to having my own opinions or ideas or whatnot... that's terrifying to try to communicate to other ppl fjdldl#it just sucks so bad bc i think i could get along very well w many ppl if i just... didnt feel like the worlds worst person to be around#today and yesterday have been difficult so my brain is biting me rn fjfkdl idk what is wrong w me these past couple days fjfkdl#there is no real evidence for it but i feel like everything I've said and done the past few days has been awful and wrong and mistakes ough#it will be okay fjfkdl it will pass eventually like it always does shfkdl it is just a matter of coping thru it and how long it'll last#sorry for a weird vent for this blog dnfkdl im just panicking a little for no apparent reason fjdksl#vent //#dandy.cmd
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"you can't judge fictional characters, they're not real ?" imagine these people showing up to book group having refused to form any thoughts or opinions on the characters or events because "well... it isn't real 😏🧠" like............
#99.txt#buddy im pretty sure thats. one of THE main ways of analyzing and engaging with fiction. is to. have opinions on the ppl and things in it#but ough i forgot its not reallll 🤦♂️ silly me heres your smartest person in the room award
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I need to stop being a hater on everyone’s wbn suvi and ame opinions but my god
#worlds beyond number#twtwtwo#fox's they've already caught you spiel would be cute if ame was worried about being caught. which she is#but she's WAY more worried about upsetting her friends. which you cannot apply the fuck it we ball mindset#it's not about ame doing what she wants it's specifically about her doing what she wants with the knowledge#that her friends do not want to do it with her#idk I didn't feel like the 'I've never judged you' line rang true either#like ame SHOULD be judging suvi and I just desperately need enough episodes to come out for ame to stop straddling the line#of never judging suvi and also being against what suvi does pretty fundamentally (again. for good reasons)#bc like ya ame is a sweetie but at a certain point u need to voice ur opinion if you want things to get done#and it is PAINFUL watching her and the story clearly know suvi is wrong but ALSO say very little to stop her#and eursolon is such a nonentity bc lou wilson is so so good and made a heartbreaking pc#he's too tired and scared to properly take sides and when he does. ough#anyway it was a great great great episode but every take I've seen has driven me up a goddamn wall#one of those things where it's actively ruining my enjoyment of ame as a character bc of how people have responded to her
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whats that one post btw thats like. hearing about discourse u didnt know existed and it's like a fuckin shark fin swimming past or w/e. actually idk if it was about sharks but it was some kind of simile or something. anyway thats how i feel like 90% of the time someone brings up a twst discourse i literally never know what's going on except for like one. one thing(?)
#even then it's not a Big Thing LOL clenches heartslabyul in my hands so tightly tho#MY one thing is seeing ppl disregard the friendships between trey cay and riddle but OUGH i am not getting into that today#AND EVEN STILL i have to be cool like. ppl can interoperate things differently or play in the space lol i gotta chill#i think. some people mayhaps are misunderstanding things or also maybe dont remember certain details LOL#but also are we not all victims of not remembering every detail to media or sometimes getting confused kfsjflks#or simply having other opinions#it is okay my solution is to simply not engage in the fanart or fics i dont like LOL peace and love on planet earth my friends#well i guess i also complain. but like i gotta chill fr#anyway BESIDES THAT LOL#i saw a blog that was like 'number 1 trey clover defender' and i was like PEOPLE ARE HATING ON TREY???????#maybe ignorance is bliss. maybe i prefer not to see it. godspeed tho ill defend him too if i gotta#anyway sometimes it is nice being in my little hole on the outside actually#i like to talk to people but sometimes it's too much and too scary lol#im busy talking to myself on my blog anyway teehee#wait actually i lied . i forgot some people dont like rook. im going to explode about it actually kjsjfklHJKLDSJGKLDJK#i like literally always forget bc the ppl i talk to and myself we LOVE ROOK and then i stumble into a post slandering him or w/e#and im like WHERE AM I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS MY BOY WHAT DA HELL 😭😭😭#IT'S SCARY OUT IN THE WILD MAN
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Propaganda
James Stewart (It's a Wonderful Life, The Philadelphia Story, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington)—the thing about Jimmy Stewart is that for a weird-enough looking guy, he is yet somehow SO hot and SO believable, ALWAYS. He always plays the same person—he's always, well, Jimmy Stewart—yet that person can be a murderer, a dark cynic, a naive idealist, the boy next door or an old man who knows better, and every one of those is hot. I would jump his bones in a heartbeat
Toshiro Mifune (Rashumon, Seven Samurai, Grand Prix, Stray Dog)—i love and respect my boi tab hunter (rest in peace you beautiful, beautiful man ❤️), but after i watched like 12 of his movies in a row on tcm last year, i ALSO love and respect toshiro mifune, son of a literal actual hatamoto’s (a high-ranking samurai) daughter, also very possibly related to the best judokan EVER, AND, he’s the guy who SHOULD have been obi-wan kenobi. the fact that he’s ALSO hot as hell just adds to his appeal.
This is round 4 of the bracket. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage man.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
James Stewart propaganda:
"Ough I saw him first in It's A Wonderful Life, where he is very charming as a suicidal family man being absolutely crushed by capitalism. But then. The Philadelphia Story, in my opinion, should get the same kind of press The Mummy does for being a bisexual dream. Now I'm not really bi (not into women) and it's honestly up for debate whether i'm attracted to men or not, but COME ON!! The movie stars James Stewart as well as Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn (and Ruth Hussey). Stewart plays a common working man, a journalist, to contrast with Grant's character, who is mega-rich. He is scrappy and hates rich people. Hot! They have a whole scene together where he's super drunk and being really physical with his acting, which I love because he is kinda wet noodle shaped. Hot! He carries Hepburn in his arms while singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow. Hot! He gets punched in the face by Cary Grant. Hot!!! In The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence, we get to see him portray an alternative type of masculinity, opposite John Wayne doing John Wayne. He is even more wet noodle-y, to put emphasis on his incompatibility with the rugged masculinity of the cow-boy, he wears an apron for a lot of the film, again, to blur his masculinity, and he gets shot. Hot! Also he's older here, if that's your thing. Long story short: He's giving librarian chic and The Philadelphia Story made me want to be poly."
youtube
“Here he is next to Grant, in what I believe to be a promotional shot for The Philadelphia Story. Please don’t get distracted by Grant (or do, i’m submitting him next).”
“He’s a nice guy and a good guy and deserves all the happiness and joy ever! Classic boy next door/class president kid that everyone loves for real. Stand-up for the Little Guy vibes. With a charming fun side!!”
Toshiro Mifune propaganda:
"In addition, he spoke fluent mandarin and every time he was casted in foreign films, he said his lines in the language of the movie (although they ended up dubbing him. He wasn’t happy about it though).”
Submitted: this gifset
Also submitted: this video (yes, that one)
"Crucial Toshiro Mifune propaganda: THOSE LEGS."
"That is hella muscle. Go watch The Hidden Fortress, aka Star Wars A New Hope. His thighs deserve an award."
#toshiro mifune#james stewart#jimmy stewart#hotvintagepoll#round 4#fuck ! that ! old ! man ! ! !#Youtube
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So, Ramattra huh? :3c
Ok so um. He’s completely taken over my mind for the past month 😭 I’m in love with this man
Usually I’m a sucker for the villains who are evil mostly for the sake of being evil or aggressive monster types but he’s like… morally gray complex? My (personal opinion) least favorite thing about supposedly morally grey characters is when they’re basically just evil except they go “oh but my backstory,” >:/ But here you can see why, there’s a lot of injustices towards omnics in the overwatch universe and you can see why he’s fighting so hard to make a change, even through any means necessary.
I’ve only started playing recently and every time I play as him I just find every little thing he does attractive orz the way he moves is so determined and confident, the way his hand strains when he’s shooting his primary fire/raising his shield… his scarf makes him look so majestic when he runs… his hair, gives him this effect that makes him look elegant? I want to tie his hair back for him huhuguhghuh
And oh my god don’t get me started on his nemesis form I’m dead 💀 He turns into this huge beast of a robot with big arms?? And his voice gets an extra.. filter to it that makes him sound scarier and growlier? I used to not like how his original arms were still visible, but now it’s yet another thing why I love him uhghehgfg he looks so confident with his arms crossed while he’s pummeling his enemies into submission and his cable hair flowing in the wind liks swoosh… and things get ramped up when he’s doing his annihilation ultimate, he can just run into the enemy team and suck their life force(?) Also this is a meta reason but I think it’s hot when he ults and the team scatters away from him 😳
and ough HIS VOICE AUGH HIS VOICE!! He always sounds so controlled and collected, and when he’s in nemesis form it’s like his restrained rage gets unleashed, phew… ngl I’ve been rewatching “Ramattra Voice Line” videos so much jkdshfnejf I love all versions of his ult line, whether its “SUFFER, AS I HAVE!” or “Rip them to pieces,”, or even the april fools line bc I just think he’s silly and dramatic in that one 🥺
I also watch a lot of his interactions, because despite his (understandable) hatred for humans, he’s respectful and polite to a lot of the other overwatch heroes. I imagine it’d be easy to write him as someone who dislikes all humans, but he shows appreciation to humans he thinks are kind and helpful to omnics, even if they might not like him. Even to humans he isn’t a fan of his conversations are still polite and reserved, or at the very least, he’s passive aggressive- but he never gets into a “grr I hate all of you” thing that Reaper has (lol)
His conversation with Venture especially makes me soft… he sounds encouraging to a human who wants to go to the Shambali monastery.
And of course his interactions with Bastion and Zenyatta are soft and gentle because omnics and knowing Zenyatta from the monastery.
I just- what if I’m his favorite person? What if I’m his exception to his hatred for humans? What if he was contrasted by a soft human? What if he says “Only you,” to his human? What if the hands he used for violence were also used to gently hold a delicate human he loves? uhuguhguhuhgufdgdfhgjdfhgd
I’m being self indulgent here and I say I wanna kiss Null Sector’s leader !!!! I want him to press his forehead to mine!! I want him to dink his mouth on my cheek and I do the same on his cool faceplate! I want him to cradle me with his nemesis hands! I want to hold his face when his faceplate gets cracked and his handsome, intense eye is visible and looking at me like I’m his treasure! ARGHRGHRG
#i have so many scenarios in my head#some ive already rwritten#but like. i dont feel like theyre post-able jfknfd#bc its snippets from whole stories in my head#or just very rambly#and they dont have an intro or anything#i am just very Down Bad for this man#ask#overwatch#ramattra#me: chooses to play as ram#ramattra: we will have peace at any cost.#me: 😳
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Hey, so. I wanted to ask about the interpretation of pre-Dungeon Lord Mithrun as being very catty and Regina George-like. Personally, and I've got no problems with it, I'm just really curious where it comes from, but I don't get that read. He was catty and petty and all sorts of unpleasant, but Misril essentially confirms that he kept it all inside because he seemed so perfect and his Dungeon was some great surprise to her. Built on lies and jealousy and inferiority but she had no idea whatsoever. He was festering in silence, I think, and all that ugliness was tucked inside. He was scrambling. Probably imagining himself as alone and unique in his ugliness and failing to speak truthfully about his feelings because he must've been taught that ugly things - like affairs and disabled brothers? - are to be hidden. You're something else before you're a person, so you must be nice and kind and good and emblematic of that. And it isn't as if I was raised in any position of power, but royal houses can be sort of emblematic of that kind of repression of personality, where being small and quiet and smooth and obedient is "good personhood". He was revealed as a mean drunk, but that's about it. Truly, I think catty Mithrun is comfortable Mithrun, so I like to imagine that post-Dungeon Mithrun is the catty one. I think it's funny to imagine our relationship, as it were, and imagine people watching with him and judging people for the fun of it. It's not personal or to feel better or anything. It's just because, and he says some truly out of pocket shit, and I'm there, a little reprimanding, like, "Oh my God! You can't just say that..." and I'm looking at him. And he's looking at me without saying anything. An eyebrow raised. My expression cracks. I look away and snort. "God," I say again. "Oh my God. Yeah. Okay. Fine." Laughingly, "Uh... That's the tackiest, brightest jacket I've ever seen in my life. It is disgustingly offensive. My eyes are practically burning. Is that it?" And he smiles a little. Barely there. And I groan and lightly smack his shoulder. "Is that what you wanted to hear?" He shrugs, "Was it honest?" "Yeah. I mean, I'm exaggerating for the fun of it all, but..." I shudder. "God, it's horrible," and then maybe I get into it, like the minutiae of opinions. Being very opinionated. "And it's worse because not even badly shaped! It'd be fine if it was, like, a simple black coat or something. The texture looks okay, but it has the worst patterning, the worst shapes and colors and—!" And he's laughing out loud. Holding his hands on his stomach, because I've gone full into gesturing and I'm getting so heated about a stupid coat that doesn't even matter, but it's fun! It's amazing. We're having a great time, and I'm laughing, too, because it's silly and it doesn't matter and I'm happy like this. We both are. He frowns a little, and goes, "Okay, what about that shirt?" and making his own statements, like "Ugh. That gold looks like vomit", and we play off eachother, like "Ough. Yeah, and that red with that shade is so bright." I raise my eyebrows. "Evocative." Mithrun hums. "Blood and vomit," he nods. "Ew." We look at eachother and shake our heads sort of sagely. And then I crack first. I almost always break first.
Ye when we joke about pre-dungeon Mithrun being catty, it’s more like he’s catty on the inside. He’s canonly critical and judgmental and angry in his own mind, but I think he also genuinely loves his friends. He just can’t help but be a negative nelly in his head bc insecurity and whatnot. I think if pre-dungeon Mithrun was especially close to someone, close enough to let his true nature show(which would be incredibly rare) then he’d express those thoughts outwardly. But in secret. Nobody realizes he’s catty, but he is. Because he’s passive aggressive and fake lol
I do think post-dungeon Mithrun is a jerk too, but he has no reservations about expressing it anymore because he has no desire to keep up appearances. He doesn’t dislike his old self because his old self was mean, he dislikes his old self because he just automatically dislikes himself in any form. And even then I think that’s subconscious. When he corrects Kabru and basically says ‘no I wasn’t perfect at all’ he’s just stating a fact. He has very little feeling on the matter other than resentment towards his own actions and emotions that led him to the demon and subsequent trauma.
I think Misiril prob taught him that being relatively polite gets him places, it keeps everybody around him from wanting to leave. And if they left then he wouldn’t have the necessary manpower to defeat the demon. So if he makes the decision to keep certain thoughts to himself, it’s either because it’s easiest/out of habit/to prevent an obstacle in his quest. I mean obviously he still says outlandish crap (“Inferior species.” “CAPTAIN THATS RACIST!”) but I think that’s because he knows it wont really matter in the long run in those cases, so he just says whatever’s on his mind without a care of how it sounds.
But yeah post-canon Mithrun would probably be way more relaxed. If he’s with someone he’s close to, he’d point out an ugly shirt. I wouldn’t call him catty, because there’s no passive aggressive-ness there. He’s just blunt. His old self would have an absolute heart attack because iTS NOT PROPER STOP IT YOURE GOING TO MAKE PEOPLE HATE YOU!!!
The juxtaposition between his past and present is so interesting. They’re like two different people, so different but still similar in some ways. Hmm
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