#but otherwise…I feel like. flickers? for last of us. for slocg. for…whatever gaiman thing might happen | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

novelconcepts · 2 years

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It’s so weird gearing up in preparation for some amount of time where I just…won’t be able to get excited about watching things. Being unreasonably attached to movies and TV, engaging with those fandoms all day long, has been such an integral part of my life since I was a kid, and to watch my love of movies slowly diminish over the past few years—especially now that I don’t go to theaters due to COVID—was depressing. Now I find myself nearly incapable of even watching most new television shows, much less getting excited enough to blog and fic about them. I don’t really know who I am without that affection for media, but like. It’s really so messy out there that I cannot for my life get my brain to engage. And that is wild to think about, especially if it sticks for a while like I fear.

#like obviously I’m still stoked for Flanagan’s Usher and for critical role #because those things won’t be swept away from me #but I don’t get excited about ANY movies anymore. I instinctively just shut off when most things are announced #and now for shows…like I’ll keep fighting for paper girls and if that gets saved I’ll obviously keep that fixation #but otherwise…I feel like. flickers? for last of us. for slocg. for…whatever gaiman thing might happen #but they’re such embers compared to the roaring joy I used to feel #because if I love it it will probably be killed before its time #and if I can’t get into it and it does well I’ll be bitter for all the lost stuff I loved #and it just. sucks to think that if it’s not pure blockbuster it won’t have a chance in hell #I’m tired. I want to have the space to care again.#but it increasingly feels like twitter trends and streaming agendas dictate what I’m allowed to love #and out of spite or out of those things just being Not For Me I can’t do it #there’s not nearly as much room any more to just play around and love smaller things #and I’m…sad dude. I’m just sad.#thank god for CR. at least they have their own shit in hand and can make choices for the story instead of money #that’s like all that’ll be left soon

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