#but only if they are feeling generous to share bc this New Years we had nothing 😭

[hyohaehyuk]

Takeru Sato was watching Taka IG live and he mentioned him at the end of the live (probably Takeru commented something in the chat)

I can't find translation of this last part where he talks japanese but think Taka said something like "Thank you Sato Takuru for watching too. Your Instagram is looking great"

Full IG live (2025/04/02)

[genderqueerdykes]

I’ve been feeling really sad lately bc after this latest rise in anti transmasc sentiment I’ve had to unfollow some trans women I’ve been following for literal years bc they started reblogging and posting really nasty and very uncharitable things abt transmascs on my feed. And like. These are women whose voices I very much respected and listened to, and to hear them basically say they consider me an enemy who can’t be trusted bc I want to talk about my experiences, but all of our issues are really just splash damage from bigotry directed at them and talking abt my own experiences without acknowlefing that it’s not really meant for me is wrong. It’s like. So hurtful. And it makes me feel really hopeless about the future of the trans community.

How do I fight back against that hopelessness?

it really sucks and i'm sorry you're also being affected by this. i hear people talk about this every single day and i really don't like that this is just becoming a default in the trans community in general. it seems like the default mode of most online queers is hating transmascs and trans men as if that will somehow make cishet society accept them more. it's selfish behavior.

i'm an intersex trans woman and it's hard for me to interact with the online transfem and trans woman communities, because we're seeing a new experience in the form of transradfeminism, where trans women proudly adopt the anti-man ideals from rad feminism and spread it like it's the truth. it's a sad and painful thing to say, but these trans women are doing this because they believe rad fems and women who hate men are the only "Real" women and desperately want to be seen as "real" women. it stems from their personal dysphoria rooted in manhood, how they take out their own dysphoria in being seen as men on men and mascs. it comes from a place of pain, and it is misguided. instead of directing their hatred toward transmisogyny, they keep it inside the community. it's vile.

it's really sad but trans women and transfems are not immune to being indoctrinated by rad fems and terfs. applying those ideals to being trans isn't progressive. dictating who is and isn't trans is an act of policing. feeling as though one has the right to sit there and claim to know every trans experience, claiming to be the authority on transness... it's fascism.

i'm just plain tired of hearing people make fun of afab trans people and trans men and to talk about them like they're a blight on the community. im tired of people saying things like "do we really need more men?" i'm really sick and tired of chronically online people saying that trans men "aren't real trans people". this one really pisses me off. implying that trans womanhood and transfemininity are the only "real" ways to be trans is also identity policing. what is "unreal" about trans men? i'm tired of trans men being treated like they're unreliable. i'm tired of people wearing their misogyny on their sleeve to constantly treat trans men like they are not reliable narrators. i'm tired of people thinking somehow the instant you begin identifying as a man, you benefit from patriarchy.

i'm tired that people seriously think trans men and mascs can't coin terms for their own experiences. why the hell not? they happen, just because you don't see them personally doesn't mean they don't happen. i have met and lived with so many transmascs over the years, and we've all shared very similar stories about the discrimination we face. it's not spitting in the face of anyone to coin terms like transandrophobia and antimasculism. they happen just as often as transmisogyny does, and happily participating in it only increases trans violence

these talking points are old and it sucks to see more and more trans women get indoctrinated into literal rad feminism. hating trans men will not make dysphoria around being seen as a man go away. hating trans men does not dismantle the patriarchy. hating afab people isn't progressive, it's misogynistic. hating intersex trans men isn't progressive, it's transphobic -and- intersexist. trans men deserve so much better than this. trans men are trans. trans men are people. trans men are not evil by virtue of existing

i say try to do your best to connect with and appreciate the other trans men and mascs in your life. we have to stick together. if you have transfem friends who are on your side, make sure to be there for them, too. not every trans woman is like this fortunately, most trans women are very chill about trans manhood. this is a vocal minority of people who want to be fascists and want to control and police other trans people. transradfeminism isn't progressive, it's just as bad as regular rad feminism, if not worse, because now there's an even bigger focus on hating trans people.

hating other trans people will never get you ahead in cisheteronormative society. try to take care of yourself as best as you can. really relish trans joy when you experience it. take time to affirm your gender. know that manhood is a blessing. manhood is beautiful. it is varied, nuanced, and complex. it is a wonderful thing to experience. men are not evil. men are not bad. we should never remove the accountability from individuals.

hating trans men makes you transphobic. there's just no other way to it. whether or not you accept that it's called transandrophobia, it is still transphobia, and you really should care. the trans community isn't here for just 1 type of trans person. it's here for all of us. good luck, stay safe out there. be good to yourself

[intheestaars]

Solar return observations pt. 1 ✨

‼️ Do not reproduce, repost or use any of my content without my consent. If you ever repost anything, you need to always mention my page ‼️

Hey guys! I hope you've been having a great christmas time! I'm starting a new little series, bc honestly, i haven't been observing anything new when it comes to birth charts lately, but i've really been into solar return charts, which is why i really wanted to make this. As you might have seen, i had already posted another observation which included some observations on solar return charts, which i deleted bc some of the things i shared didn't resonate with me and i only want to give you content i can truly stand behind. But i am mentioning this, bc i'm going to include some of the solar return observations i made in this post, so don't be confused if you think you might've already seen this on one of my posts.

If you do not know about solar return charts, i would recommend you to look it up beforehand. I am not the best at explaining this kind of stuff, but there are other astrology pages who have amazing introductions for people who are getring into solar return charts. Please look them up and then come back to this!!

Before we start: these are just my personal observations. I am by no means a professional astrologer, and i don't want you coming for me because you disagree with me on the meaning of something. If you want to correct me, feel free, but i will not tolerate any hate or disrespect (which means you will get blocked).

‼️Trigger warning: mentions of bad relationship experiences, bullying and mental health struggles ‼️

Sooo let's go!

Jupiter in the 8th house conjunct neptune in 7th house: Although of course this can show different in every persons life, for me in the year i had this placement i didn't meet my rich husband who was my wonderful soulmate. Instead i only dated one guy who in the beginning seemed very great but turned out to just be using me for intercourse. In general the guys i've met who were interested in me seemed quite stable and like good people, but turned out to actually be known by close ones as f-boys. So if you have this placement in your solar return chart, please beware. It might look better than it is, as neptune is also about illusions and in the 7th house of relationships, this can mean you might not see who the person truly is, and with jupiter in the 8th house, it could be because they might be using you for sexual endevours, or you might be more into sexual endavours than usual and thus give another person the illusion you might be into more to get access in that way (which: please don't do that. there is people out there who are willing to give you that without you having to betray them. it's not fair to someone who is trying to actually build a relationship).

Neptune conjunct the Descendant with Chiron in the 7th house: Adding to the last observation: the year i started dating my first boyfriend who was very toxic and completely used and betrayed me was the year i had neptune, the planet of illusions, in a very close conjunction to my descendant. Also, like chiron (the wound we cannot heal but which can heal others) would indicate, this whole situation sent me into quite a mental health crisis, which i didn't even realize until about 2 years later. it really messed with me, so please be careful if you have this placement. i still learned a lot about relationships, and i feel like i now would never again get into a relationship without being 100 percent certain about the persons intentions and so on, but it was still very unpleasent. So, please be careful.

Saturn, Pluto and Uranus in the 4th house: Whilst Pluto and (especially) Uranus can totally mean you moving because they are very much about change, i wouldn't say the same about saturn in the 4th house. Saturn is usually more about restrictions and difficulties. Of course there could be difficulties with your landlord for example, which might cause you to move, but otherwise, i think saturn here is more about not being able to move freely in your home or you feeling bound to your home for some reason. This can of course vary in interpretation depending on other aspects and planets, it could also be about problems with you family. It very much depends.

North node conjunct uranus in any house: Whatever house this placement is in, you might experience some significant change in this area or might learn something about this area of your life which will change it significantly. For example, a friend of mine had this in his 7th house and during that year, after a lots of years of being in an polyamorous relationship, they went back to a monogamous relationship because some things had appened, which made them realize for them to keep on having a healthy relationship, a monogamous relationship might be better. I also had this placement in my ninth house and during this year some things happened which significantly altered the way i handle my studies in college.

Stellium in 12th house (with sun and moon): You might be going through a phase where you are in more solitute and a lot of things you didn't know about will come to light. I am currently experiencing this, and i could totally feel the shift. I feel it kind of was like my last solar reutrn year i had so many experiences with traveling and meeting new people, that i kind of feel like an "experience fatigue". it felt like i was making so many new experiences, and focused on making more and so on, that i forgot to put meaning and intention behind those. So now i just want to slow down and still make experiences, but also focus on my inner world, on learning new things about myself and also work on some mental health stuff. also, i feel like there has been a lot going on behind the scenes on how people view or say about me which i don't or didn't know about, like for example one year a go, a comment i made on youtube got about 6000 likes and people were bashing me so hard in the comments and i didn't even notice until now 😭 idk, i hope whatever is going to be revealed isn't too harsh (the comments were bad but honestly, i didn't mind. it's not the first time i've gotten hate on social media lol). the 12th house is generally not considered to be very positive, but for now i feel like it is mostly about me time and discovering new things about myself.

Sun square pluto: I read something on the tumblr page "lavishlyleo" about this placement being a very difficult placement which can last for a looong time, and i looked it up: i've had this placement since i was about 14 years old. now, i've had quite a rough childhood, but me having to deal with that and having to process it and simultaniously starting to experience more bullying and so on started around this time. i think beforehand i knew my life wasn't the greatest, but i could still move through it and be very happy and content because i had a great friend group and a lot of other good stuff going on. the fact of me having to realized how the things i have gone through were so fucked up and how they messed with me was soo much harder tbh. but now this placement has been easing up a bit and will go away in about two years and i have honestly been doing so much better than the years beforehand, especially when it comes to my social life! i am so excited on seeing how life will be as soon as this placement finally goes away.

Chiron or lilith in the 11th house: As these two are more harsh and about experiencing some bad stuff to also learn and develope, having this in the 11th house may not be a good sing of you keeping your friend group and maybe losing those. Or in general just having bad experiences with groups of people.

I will leave you with this now. As the year progresses, i will see how certain placements play out in my and other peoples life, so i can give you some more observations i made. But i hope you enjoyed this!

Sending out love and please keep safe! Until next time byebye 🩵

[alyheartsjess]

daily gilmore girls thoughts bc i haven’t done this in forever:

🫶🏼rory was a good friend to paris and lane, enough with the nonsense. lane and rory were realistic childhood friends and rory and paris were realistic realistic ”grew to like each other”-friends

🫶🏼lorelai and even rory are under the illusion that dean is a ”safe” person because he didn’t disturb their safe pre-established routine and just fit into it

that’s also why lorelai likes luke the most, bc he fits into the life she already has, the life she chose and has worked hard to get. rory is a bit more willing to try new things bc she’s young and SH is all she’s ever known

🫶🏼dean and logan were actually perfect for the rory she was in season 1 and seasons 5-7 respectively. i believe what we got is the peak of what they could ever be. with jess the timing was wrong, which is too bad :(

🫶🏼i know milo didn’t want to be in season 7 bc of loyalty to asp BUT jess being the character witness for luke in april’s costudy hearing and luke winning bc of that would have wrapped up their storyline so well. i feel like they at least should have drawn some parallels to the fact that luke has cared for a child before, otherwise, what was the point of doing that storyline twice?

🫶🏼i saw this great take on reddit (it happens) that some people can’t grasp how horrible emily and richard are while another group can’t grasp how horrible liz and TJ are.

this is bc some people grew up with snobby, elitist relatives who deem you as not ever good enough for their standards while other people grew up with relatives who are deadbeat leeches.

so the ones who grew up with liz and TJs might be like ”oh but emily and richard just want a good life for lorelai” while people who grew up with richards and emilys might be like ”oh but liz and TJ are just fun and kooky”. this very obviously doesn’t always apply but i thought that was really interesting!

🫶🏼they already did ”bad boy jess” is season 2, i think they should have given him some (more) character development in season 3. it’s just too sad the way it all played out, i think about it a lot :,( couldn’t we have had ONE era where luke and jess were getting along and jess was going to school and lorelai liked him and jess and rory were working? the finale would have been even more dramatic then actually

🫶🏼this is a new, not that developed take but richard cares more for rory and emily cares more for lorelai.

taking in rory after her meltdown was, to richard, about getting rory back on track eventually, while emily was excited to have a new lorelai, this time one she could share her interests with.

there is a scene during this era where emily is asking richard how lorelai is and he’s like huh whatever, lorelai’s fine. then richard expresses concern over rory and emily is like huh whatever, rory is fine. i think this is so interesting!

🫶🏼um so jess and rory are both victims of generational issues that should have been solved before they were born. obviously the gilmore lore is more developed than the danes lore but we know enough from what luke said in jess’ first episode

🫶🏼i think luke and lorelai very obviously have struggled in their life and because jess and rory don’t have the same struggles they had but different ones, they think they have it so much better. this is ofc very common

again, the gilmore lore is much more developed but what i mean by this is that lorelai doesn’t think rory’s struggles are valid is bc rory has a mom that is nice and luke doesn’t think jess’ struggles are valid bc jess has a mom that is alive. obv not directly stated and just speculation, but something i think about!

🫶🏼i needed a few more flashback eps to understand how THAT lorelai turned into THIS lorelai. but kudos to her work ethic

🫶🏼 rory could have been way more screwed up and resentful than she was due to her past. in season 1, it’s only five years since she moved out of the garden shed. that’s as much time as between seasons 1 and 6, aka nothing. say what you want, but she does have a good attitude

🫶🏼 the conclusion of dean’s arc on the show: he was the victim and rory was horrible for letting his perfect self go and should apologize. the conclusion of jess’ arc on the show: he was horrible and deserved all the shit every adult did to him (no one ever apologized to him for anything btw).

🫶🏼i don’t understand why people think rory spiraling bc of mitchum’s comment is so spoiled and unreasonable and out of character. like this is a person who was been perfect and motivated and well-behaved her whole life bc she is working toward a clear singular goal. when that goal shattered right in front of her, it’s pretty realistic to be like ”why not break the rules, why not take advantage of my grandparents wealth, why not fuck around and party for a bit”. and no one in her life understood this.

so, let’s make it about jess now. rory always kind of had a plan and a goal, and guess who didn’t? jess. they even talked about this. but then he comes back and has made something of himself and he tells rory it’s because of her.

i think that’s why jess was the only one able to put rory back on track. he has been what rory is now. not willing to do anything and throwing everything away because he’s been led to believe that he’s not good enough. but he isss and rory knew that, and she helped him believe that, which is why he was able to get back on track. and now he’s returning the favour.

there’s so many interpretations of this scene but this one’s my fave<3

🫶🏼feel free to argue, i don’t feel that strongly about most of these😭

[sunnymainecoonx]

I'm curious about several of ur little things... (specifically 3, 4, 5 and 6 tbh) 😔😔 (pls talk about them . if u want)

Sighs I guess I have to😔 20 giraffes being sent to ur house atm

Aanywas. 3- dream needs therapy

I have.... a problem. With dream specifically. You see- I. I can't see him happy in any way whatsoever. For.. probably 3 years neow all I see is his life getting worse with a bad ending- all I see is dream angst- that's a problem!11 Basically I can't imagine him with a sense of self. He was used for child labour when he was a kid- but at that time, Nightmare was there to humanise him. But then the trauma happens and for whatever reason Dream continues to do labour- except neow it's in the entire multiverse which is way too much pressure. Due to the way Dream grew up, he feels he needs to help with no breaks, and Nightmare is no longer there to make him take breaks. All Dream does neow is help others nonstop- leaving no time to spend on himself. So yeh. No sense of self. I don't think I have more to share-

4- Dreamtale rehabilitation arc

For unspecified reasons, Nightmare wants to become better. Ofc Dream is the only one willing to give him a chance- so he's there to like. Rehabilitate Nightmare. Nightmares still very narcissistic tho so. There's issues. Anyways Nightmare has to learn to deal with the consequences of his actions, bc his actions against the multiverse cannot be justified. He used to be hated without reason, making what he did to the villagers feel justified, but his actions against the multiverse couldn't be justified bc the multiverse hadn't done anything to nightmare and that sucks. For nightmare anyways. Dream has to teach Nightmare to be nicer and everything. So they get to spend quality time.

Anyways during this time Nightmare realises Dream's bad habits of not taking care of himself. So there happens this parallel thing where Dream teaches Nightmare to be nicer to others, and Nightmare teaches Dream to be nicer to himself. They also realise how different the other is. For so long they only got to see each other in battle, and never saw each other beyond that. And they've changed a lot since last they met. This part is more of a re-introduction thing. They decide they're strangers and just introduce themselves over again as if they actually were strangers(they basically are-). There was more but I got distracted and forgor the rest-

5. Flower AU

An undertale AU... that isn't focused on the multiverse!??!?!?! I've always wanted to make an undertale AU that is-- an UNDERTALE au- so we have the monsters the humans and the underground. Honestly I don't remember too much, but what I do remember.. I don't remember the deal but the monsters all have flowers growing on them. I think it was a curse of some kind? According to old dialogue made for the AU-they're not supposed to have the flowers. Either way, they're normalised and I don't think it hurts them.. The general concept is simple. All monsters have a specific type of flower. I have a list for that- other than that it constantly changes,, the story.. the characters... I never took the time to figure it all out... papyrus is a royal guard tho. That's the. Only certain change-

6. S-s-s-s-s-school!?

School AU.. it's really for the nostalgia. I love love loved Wattpad school fics. ..can't find any good ones anymore tho. Not like I can find any new Wattpad fics at all- I've had like. 3 school AUs before but the most recent one.... follows Cross. Cross rich family yes, except his parents are divorced and his mom took his siblings and he stays with his dad. Anyways Cross lives at place. He goes to school and is best bros with Epic. But then out of NOWHERE his dad says they're gonna move(for some reason the place they were gonna move to got very specifically named Monvera). Cross doesn't get to say goodbye to Epic properly- and just has a quick rushed call before Cross has to hurry packing up. Anyways. Yeah it's just Cross going to a new school. There's also this second thing- ab Epic being depressed. He had. Issues or smth. And they get worse with Cross leaving. While Cross is getting new friends he starts forgetting ab Epic. Yeh. I don't remember more tho ngl

[voluptuarian]

HBO Rome has its share of problems as a a historical show but they don't often bother me because a. I had fair warning beforehand so could adjust my expectations accordingly b. I don't know that much about the political aspect of the era so there are definitely some major inaccuracies that I just blissfully don't notice 😌😌 and c. its representation of just the general flavor of Roman culture delights my shallowest expectations so much that it makes up for most the show's other shortcomings.

There's graffiti on every wall and a shrine on every corner, Pullo is negotiating transactional favors with the gods, people can't get work bc slaves'll do it for free, there's elaborate religiously-tinged swearing, despite installing himself as dictator Caesar still has to get the priests on his side so they'll make sure the bird-movements they interpret are favorable to him, "uuugggh we conquered Gaul and made it part of Rome but we never considered the fact that those ugly dirty Gauls would actually end up in Rome afterwards," the news announcer with his oratory gestures and sponsorship messages keeping a mostly-illiterate crowd informed, getting to see the shiny religious/political center of the city as an artificially maintained island in the midst of a surrounding seedy, smelly, swampy, under-structured and overpopulated reality (something something "Greece's republic vs Rome's shithole" or however that quote goes), the glimpses of larariums in the houses and people attending to them in the background, Rome only functional because it can make a new colony to parasite from every 3 years but then everyone loathes the idea of having to live in The Provinces, uh-oh sister-in-law got wasted at your party and knocked over the bust of Janus now your business is hexed and you'll have to do a bunch of sacrifices if you want that sorted out, Servilia is out here cursing her ex with erectile dysfunction, slavery is mundane and normal and comes in every flavor-- from Atia's slaves who she beats and berates only to cry on Merula's shoulder like a child, while the latter definitely has some sort of genuine loyalty and affection for her mistress (if, perhaps, only pityingly), Caesar and Posca and Servilia and Eleni and their close relationships bordering on genuine friendship, Pompey telling his slave he must be "lucky" not to have to make his own decisions and Octavian telling that young prostitute he feels sorry for her having been taken from her home and made a slave by Rome but having no qualms or questions at all about the process/institutions that caused it, the antagonistic, friendly, competitive, conspiratorial relationships between the slaves themselves, within and without various households-- you've got people who are devoutly religious and people who definitely aren't and people who are ritually devout while living dogmatically outrageous lifestyles and people who absolutely think a host of gods and spirits control every facet of the world and life but still don't care and Octavian with his "some sort of divine cosmic power definitely is at the root of everything but it has no real interest in us or our lives" and Gaia confessing to murder on her deathbed even though she knows it will tarnish her relationship and memory forever because she genuinely believes the gods will torment her for her crime if she doesn't--

They really, really committed to trying to show people in the past dealing with the same insecurities, appetites, and big-and-small-scale woes as modern people while still representing them as living in a vastly different world from our own-- and one represented through huge, beautiful, detailed, living-feeling sets and set dressing 😍 -- with hugely different attitudes and mores and didn't feel the need to strip that layer of alienness to make things more easily digestable or "believable" (which is, frankly, tv talk for "not challenging to an ignorant viewer's ill-informed historical understanding," something I consider unforgivable) to a modern audience. They did that so much that I think the only time I've seen it done better was in The Northman (which is craaaazy to say) and there are few other shows or movies I can think of that come close to matching that effort. It's what I love best about the show and I think one of the things that made it such a standout and has made it a classic since.

[magentagalaxies]

"tour of duty" (the filmed version of their 2002 tour) in general is just kind of a bizarre point for kids in the hall that i haven't really talked to any of them about but is hard not to notice when you look at their entire canon. like it's certainly good - there are some tour-original sketches that i highly enjoy and some live versions of filmed sketches that take a fun creative spin on it, but in general things just feel noticeably strange.

buddy cole specifically tells the fur trappers to "fuck off" (buddy very rarely swears and across all the buddy material i've watched for the documentary he's only said "fuck" 3 times across forty years). danny husk wins an award for being a high school vice principal and at&love isn't acknowledged in the bit. the "is he?" sketch has been revised to pack in as many euphemisms for gay as possible, putting the bit on top of another bit. and of course i have my chicken lady thoughts but i don't want to bias anyone else bc i genuinely want to know what your takes are before i share mine.

and again these aren't all bad choices - i think the danny husk vice principal monologue works really well and may not work as well as a different character despite contradicting the Husk Lore™️. but they're all very distinctive choices

idk there's two reasons i personally give for why tour of duty is so strange (to me at least, maybe other people don't notice). the first is that it comes less than 3 years after their other tour-film, the 1999/2000 tour "same guys new dresses" (also available on youtube!) i fucking love SGND and i'll be up front that it's my preferred kith tour video. but part of what makes SGND so special is that it's not just a recording of the live show, it's a full tour documentary following the guys traveling across the country performing together, occasionally showing full sketches but also delving into the stories behind why the sketches played out the way they did. and, sure, sometimes that means cutting out a sketch that i wish i could've seen in full (rip power of the suburbs) but my life is so much better for having seen the "laser eye surgery gossip" or knowing how much drama that goddamn robot-dog-prop caused.

so to then see tour of duty as a straight-up recording of the live show leaves that element of mystery, that we don't get to know why choices were made because we only see the end result. there was a conscious decision not to shoot tour of duty like SGND - the tour doc didn't do well financially, and they also had more of a reason to document that tour since it was their first time working together since the disastrous fallout of "brain candy," and first big national tour since the show ended. the circumstances were just very different

and that's true both personally and politically bc the second suspected reason for tour of duty's weird tone is you can obviously tell 9/11 just happened. two sketches directly reference it - bruce and mark's businessman characters sell scam patriotic products that are all just a rubber band, and buddy cole visits the middle east and ends up having sex with saddam hussein (tho fun fact this concept was written BEFORE 9/11). but the event casts an obvious shadow, especially since both the buddy cole bit and the danny husk monologue were recycled pieces from scott's cancelled one-man-show which was set to debut in new york city on september 19th 2001.

it's also interesting comparing this to SGND. the late 90s are often remembered through rose-tinted glasses due to a generally good economy in the united states and a lot of the social tensions with disenfranchised groups still bubbling under the surface rather than being talked about openly. SGND doesn't reference contemporary events much, but the closure of AT&Love from the KITH finale is undone since the economy has re-entered "rock-on fashion," and buddy cole comments on the Y2K computer bug being underwhelming. (i also went on a super long tangent on how the original show reflected the socioeconomic climate of the 90s but that's a whole other topic i need to go to bed)

i don't know how the KITH feel about "tour of duty." i can't know how much this strangeness was felt for them backstage, and i think in some regards it can only be picked up on as an outsider, albeit an outsider who has watched so much KITH content to know how their work evolved even when not on television. all in all, i'm glad "tour of duty" exists and even the swings that didn't really land for me are still admirable as creative choices.

it's also cool to analyze as someone who has now been to a KITH live show over 2 decades later and got to see those behind-the-scenes conversations play out. the bellini benefit also featured a lot of strangeness, caused by a limited rehearsal schedule and one of the cast members being unable to attend due to illness, but they absolutely exceeded these limitations to put on a very fun show. we did film the performance and rehearsals and that show is going to be released eventually (i'm not in charge of it but the person who is also works on the buddy cole doc so i'm involved). i don't know if it's going to be presented more like SGND or tour of duty or something completely different, but it'll be cool to be part of KITH live show canon

[chemzee]

Turner family headcanons

I posted this earlier on Twitter and my Discord thread, but I wanted to share it here as well (so for those who read them before, these are copy pasted for the most part)

There's not a lot we don't know about Lottie and her family lore, even Y2 leaving a lot things unexplained. Because of that, I wanna share not only just my headcanons about her family, but also my own expansion of it's lore. I may rewrite it at some point, given I started to develop it rather recently, but here's the current version:

• Turner family was a dynasty of painters who portrayed British aristocratic pure blood families, akin to how painters would paint royal families basically and were very valued for their skill to capture the essence of them to keep them sorta immortal in form of a painting (the whole butterfly symbolism and such)

• The magical brush is a family heirloom that was crafted by one of their most famous ancestors, designed specifically to accommodate each painter's style while still keeping that "Turner" feel to it and it was passed through generations on each new descendants' 17th birthday

• One of the ancestors, Ambrose's grandfather (Lottie's great grandfather), however, fell in love with a muggle woman (or muggle born witch, it's still up for me to decide), which put the Turner family to shame, disconnecting them from their status as pure blood family's esteemed painters.

•After that, the Turners started to wander around the world, seeking new things to paint and make a living of.

• Despite losing their high status, the heirloom was still viewed as valuable item and was still passed down to descendants, Ambrose also receiving the brush on his 17th birthday

Ok now as for the present day Turner family headcanons:

• Ambrose Turner was in Ravenclaw house back at Hogwarts. If Lottie's mom was at Hogwarts instead of Castelobruxo, she'd either be Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff

• Ambrose is a travelling artist, who visited many countries in search of inspiration. He mostly paints landscapes, but he would sometimes draw portraits of people passing down on the streets or more urban scenery

• Lottie's mom is originally from Peru and is of African and Indigenous American descent. Studied in Brazil in Castelobruxo. Knows both Portuguese and Spanish.

• Lottie's mom is a dancer and singer! Ambrose met her on the streets of Brazil during one of her performances and was enamored by it. She became his muse.

• The two started talking after Ambrose approached her after attending another performance of hers. They immediately hit it off.

• Unfortunately, Ambrose had to return to Britain at some point, but his beloved decided to go with him. The two later got engaged and married in Britain and continued travelling together, later with their daughter Lottie (who was born about a year ot two into their marriage)

• Lottie is their only child but she has cousins on her mother's side of the family who still live in Brazil/Peru

• Lottie knows a bit of Spanish and Portuguese because of her mother. She understands it and can read it but she still struggles with talking on it

• Lottie also inherited her mother's abilities in singing and dancing

• Lottie's mom usually wears her hair in long dreads. She usually does Lottie's hair bc they have similar hair texture, although hers in curlier than Lottie's.

• Ambrose himself particularly feels a little distant from his ancestor's history of association with pure blood families but does keep the family tradition of passing the brush heirloom, like his father and grandfather did

• Both parents are pretty well off because of their respective families but prefer to live a humble life

• They live on a countryside in a little cottage, the inside of the house decorated with Ambrose's paintings, the ones he painted with Lottie and of his wife (the ones he painted for himself and his family,that is). The painting he didn't sell are usually kept in a separate room.

• Ambrose keeps Lottie's childhood drawings in an album and loves looking through it, keeping memories of his daughter's drawing journey.

• Ambrose suddenly disappeared when Lottie was around 10 years old and it affected both her and her mother greatly

• Lottie's mom refused to believe Ambrose would just leave them like that and was looking for him until she was informed of his death by Lottie

• Despite not having a body, Lottie's mom held a funeral for Ambrose in his honor

[serenity-the-firefly]

i've been reading fox news/the comments on fox news articles lately bc i'm a masochist and also i'm trying to understand how people think, and this is what i've learned so far:

-many people do not understand how the government works.

-many people do not understand how economics or science or medicine work.

-many people do not understand how the world in general works, and are not interested in learning otherwise.

-there is a fundamental mistrust of any government leaders and intellectuals.

-There is a strong belief that any institution that relies on grants or tax money instead of making their own money through a marketplace model is actually a scam and a way for the leaders of these institutions to steal money from the hardworking man. One common argument about why cutting harvard's government funding is bad- "well, don't expect them to share their cancer research with the public" is rebutted with another common argument: "oh? where is this cure to cancer? universities don't have an incentive to actually find a cure and are drawing the process out to milk the government for money!!"

-there is a complete lack of empathy for other people- the level of vitriol in the comments on an article about the difficulties in getting a real ID in new jersey ("these people have only had twenty years to get a real id, there is no excuse not to have one yet. i got mine two years ago, these people are just lazy.") was frankly astounding.

-a sense of both disenfranchisment and entitlement.

-a sense that "well this is how it worked for me, so why should it be different for others?" Both in terms of "i suffered through this hard thing without help or intervention, so why should someone else receive assistance?" and "this was easy for me so i can't imagine why it would be difficult for someone else."

-just a completely fundamentally different worldview from mine. There is a sentiment that curioisty about or desire to engage with the wider world is to be viewed with suspicion (a lot of the comments on the articles about the american student who went missing in the dominican republic went along the lines of "i've never wanted to travel outside the US and i don't see why anyone would") and a feeling that other people are a danger.

-Personally, i believe that we are members of a society and helping those in need will ultimately make everyone stronger. I believe that the safety and prosperity of my life is only secure insofar as i am able to live in community with and rely on my friends, neighbors, and yes, even my government. i believe that a core aspect of this is understanding and respecting that other people have differents ways of living and thinking than me, but we are all acting in good faith to build a better future together. I believe, as wooden overcoats said, that other people is all there is.

-Fox news readers also want a safe and prosperous life, but they seem to believe that life is a competition and the only way to secure these things for Me and Mine is to carefully hoard all wealth and power, and anyone who thinks or lives differently is a threat to that. Other people must be controlled and corrected.

-Fox news readers don't really want to be living in a society so much as a loose collection of indpendent nation states where you don't need to consider the needs or wants of others. admittedly, the fantasy of only having to take care of yourself and never having to deal with the messiness of other people is a very attractive fantasy. but it is also just that, a fantasy.

[mangionebabymama]

AYYYYY i saw your comment on my ask to vershuacte (i am typing that from memory bc I’m on my phone so I’m sorry to my girl if I misspelled her url 😭) bro sometimes I feel soooo alone and behind because I’m 23 and have never had a bf. but also i know that having a bf is not necessary to a good life and i am very happy with all my platonic loves!!!! also i was a latchkey kid lmfao so I’m highly independent and just so used to being on my own and doing things on my own. So much so that it has lead to me being overly picky in romance bc if I don’t like everything about a man then I see no need for him in my life bc I’ve obviously been fine alone until now and I know I’ll continue to be fine. Anyways just sharing this in case you have any similar sentiments <3 or to see what your experience is (if you want to talk about it, that is, no pressure!) because sometimes it’s hard to find someone who understands the struggle

Hey twin!!!!

I'd love to talk about my experience here, and fair warning, I'm going to expand on a lot here, as I usually express myself in greater detail. However, if it helps someone who struggles to find others who also understand the struggle, it's all right here for you. Maybe even learn a brand new perspective from someone who has an entirely different experience than you. I'll add the "Keep reading" break so I don't clog up the timeline as people scroll through.

So yeah, I am also 23, soon to turn 24 in July, and like you, I have never had a boyfriend. I've never even been kissed, so all of the other "firsts" stipulations? Totally nonexistent and out the window for me, lol, and believe me, for years, I've always received the same shocked reactions and responses from people.

"omg you've never dated anybody??????"

"But you're so hot/gorgeous/beautiful/pretty!!!!!"

"What do you mean it just hasn't happened to you??????"

I understand that this is coming out of a place of good intentions, as people who tell me this mean generally well in saying that it is surprising for them, at least that I have no dating and romantic experiences because I have qualities in their opinions, that would be suitable and redeemable for someone looking for that in a potential partner, and there would I be there, waiting for them.

Yet, I have thought about posing this question: if you were to come across people that, perhaps, don't align with your idea of beauty standards and ideal of attractability and standards of personality and character, and they tell you that they have had dating experience, would you say it to their face that you wouldn't believe it's happened to them, because how your perception of them does not align with their actual experiences?

You probably wouldn't, because one, it's rude, lol. Second, we always focus on the things that haven't happened and seem lackluster and more important to achieve instead of the things that have actually happened, filled the gaps between, and more often than not, matter more and are the most important to ourselves over anything else.

Growing up, I never had actual instances of crushes on people - not "little innocent ones" on my friends in class, not even celebrities then. My first experience of a crush, to define one in my experience, was when I became a fangirl at the age of 12, and my first celebrity crush/infatuation was Eminem; looking back, I still find it funny how the first person I would ever feel such feelings would be someone who was entirely out of my age range and was the age of a parent (it's the foreshadowing of the daddy issues, but we'll get there).

Even in middle school, I didn't have crushes on people, which also went into high school. Nonetheless, it also probably didn't help when I was the only biracial girl in my grade and, therefore, one of the few only Black girls out of my predominantly small white rural school. I have also been overweight/plus-size/thicker/bigger/more muscular in size and built the majority of my life, and that also didn't help my case when the rest of my friend group were conventionally smaller and thinner than me. Even if my half-Whiteness brings me closer to proximity to white desirability, I am not the prime example of what some people think of what they think of mixed people, you know, the "exotic" fetishized look, but also, if you have a bit of any Black in you among a sea of European beauty standards? Nobody, especially little white boys, and teenagers is gonna look my way; to tell the truth, they didn't. Despite being a star athlete, an honor student, and a commonly well-known person in my community, I was the only one in my social group who went without having my first kiss, crush, boyfriend, and all during my high school experience. If I had a date to a school dance, it was either me going with a group of girlfriends, me going without a date among a group of friends that did, or going with my gay guy best friends as my date. It's also quite funny because, throughout my time at my high school, I was notoriously known to make the dances fun because I loved to dance and could dance well and was the life of the party—so, honestly, who wouldn't want me as their date? Y'all mfs missed out.

Now, do I wish I had that, looking back years later? God, no, because the guys at my high school? I'm good, luv, LOL. I remember then, my family would remind me, "You're intimidating, you're headstrong, boys don't know how to handle that." I get that, but what about people's point about how guys supposedly like confident, not-so-shy girls? Also, looking back, telling how a mixed Black girl is intimidating, assumingly strong, and too tough for guys to handle, specifically white guys? That's kind of a putdown, in a way, because it feeds into the "strong Black woman" trope, where it masculates Black girls and women, making them unapproachable to the opposite sex and defiant of the opposite gender. But typically, isn't it mostly during high school when those experiences start happening to you, as that's how it happens to everyone else in your life, in the movies and shows and in music? But with that, it taught me to live a life without male attention of any form, that I don't need it, and therefore don't want it. I learned how life can be a fulfilling time without garnering an iota of attention and affection from guys - and this is something that I am proud of obtaining because the process of unlearning the importance of male attention is psychologically tricky, especially in the realm of societal expectations and if, during your formative years, you had a bad experience with men of any kind.

So, college rolls around. I am still in college now, as I am going for my second Bachelor's, but this is when I was going for my first one, so this was my actual four-year college experience. I graduated high school in 2019, but I decided to take a gap year after graduating, as I became very ill with mononucleosis and battled the virus all my senior year. I officially started college in 2020; however, it wasn't much of a college experience since it was the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, and college was all online, depriving me of meeting new people and gathering new experiences in real life.

But that next year, when I moved to Arizona, 1400 miles away from home, being the one in my graduating class who went to school the farthest away from our hometown and attended one of the biggest college institutions in the nation by enrollment? I thrived. I made many friends and lifelong connections and found many social spaces and communities that I considered a new sense of home. I even joined multicultural Greek life and thrived even more on a greater level than before, which was more incredible than I could have imagined, in short.

And I did all that, along with other outstanding accomplishments and adventures, without ever meeting someone, having a crush, falling in love, or messing around with someone; meanwhile, this happened to mostly everyone else surrounding me unless these experiences had already happened to them.

So, is it just me that I don't prioritize romantic love, or could I be possibly aromantic or asexual—which I have been questioning for some time every so often since I graduated high school. I didn't know that there were such identities and that they existed on the LGBTQ+ spectrum until I started researching about them and reading about how a person may identify as such. I'll never forget the confirmation and the visibility I felt reading about how others felt not, hardly ever experiencing romantic attraction, let alone thinking and having the propensity to want to be in love and be desired by others and finding themselves crushing on people. Yet, I do experience attraction to people; I love admiring people, not solely for their looks, but for their aura and spirit. My beauty standards, I guess you could call them, are expansive and broad. I find beauty and the aesthetic in a lot of things. I do fantasize and think about sex, so this is where I often wonder if I am on the ace/aro spectrum or not. But also, this is where I still wonder: I may not regularly crush on people in real life, but I have my roster of dream men—my celebrity crushes, and you'll find me simping over them for the life of me, and how I'd do anything and everything to have them put me through a headboard. You get it. But also, if these celebrity crushes were actual people in real life that were attainable for me to talk to and pursue? I honestly doubt that I would even try and shoot my shot with them LMAO.

But in the same breath, I believe it's fuck men and fuck the patriarchy. I don't want male attention and validation. I know that, for a fact, that doesn't define me, and even if I captured it, it still harms me. I don't exist for the male gaze. In the last few years, I have learned to become more confident in myself and my body. I am not afraid to show love for myself - I'm not scared to post my body on my social media, and I like to express my confidence in any kind of clothing and be proud of my assets to encourage others to feel the same way. And when I do this, I do it for the girls, gays, they, and bad bitches—not men in any way. I hope that they don't come across me. And if I do, I'm heading the fuck out the other way.

Here, I think this is where it confuses people the most with how I mention that I've never dated because I possess enough evident sexual confidence and energy about myself as a woman that you would think that someone else would love that about me and that it would entice someone enough to pursue me. I would allow them to do that. But that doesn't always mean something automatically.

Like you, I am also very independent and self-sufficient. I am ambitious and fearless. I love being around people, but I also value my alone time, and I know how to keep myself occupied and entertained. I spend most of my time alone, and I do things alone, too, and I enjoy solitude. As I write this, let this be clear: I love the life I have created myself, the life that I imagine for myself, and I love what I have done in my life and cannot wait for more—all of this without ever being in love. I wish someone would tell me I haven't lived a life worth living because I haven't experienced romance yet. After all, that's far from the truth. And, of course, I have been gratified by many other fantastic forms of love that aren't romantic, and I love the feelings associated with those kinds of love. I am a Cancer, and I am passionate about the many things in my life that I care most about. If I love something, I will show you how hard I love it.

I'll be completely okay If I don't ever experience romance in my lifetime. I joke a lot about how I'll die as the Black Virgin Mary (but absolutely no kids for me, either!) For as long as I can remember, I haven't ever wanted to get married. I don't know if this partially stems from my parents not ever being married, having a problematic relationship, and not having a healthy relationship with my own dad. Still, it also doesn't seem like the prize for me. There are other things at the top of my list. It's not the end of the world if I never have romantic love because, at this rate if I keep living the life I have had so far without an ounce of it? I only hope that it continues for me. Let this fun live on. Yet, it's nagging how society keeps nagging me in my ear about being in love as typical and expected, and that because I haven't shown much interest or pursuit into it, I'm weird for not reaching there. It's alienating and gaslighting to tell me to live the life I want to live but also tell me I haven't lived it yet by doing certain things deemed the most important.

As you said, it can feel lonely and lacking. I don't mind being alone or going my own way. I wish I was not the only one living my truth in solitude and individuality, where it's frowned upon and shameful when it shouldn't be. Living a life reserved for yourself should be celebrated.

This was written in honor of this anon, so if you come across this, I hope this gave you the hug and assurance you deserved to know and feel. For me, this was honestly liberating and therapeutic to write. And anybody who reads all of this, thank you, you're welcome; you know all a big part of my personal life on the Internet LMAOOO (including the feds if they come across this and point to me for supporting an alleged ~terr0rist~).

But all in all, you're not as alone as you think you are. It's okay. Ultimately, it's about you, yourself, and all of you. That's the only person who matters the most. Love that person the most, above all.

[nyoomerr]

Hi, for the fic rec game, number 1? ^^

#1: Recommend a fic over 100k for the fic rec ask game

hmmm i don't usually read fics that are that long - and i try not to rec things that are common "everyone has read and loved this" fics - so these aren't actually over 100k, but they're still quite long!

"Built as We Aren't" by Starrs__00: (78k) sqq transmigrates into an omegaverse version of pidw, and very quickly represses All Of That. however, as he begins courting lqg - an omega - sqq's repression and general loathing towards his own new anatomy - also an omega - ends up putting quite the strain on his budding relationship. after all, self deprecating comments made about anatomy that your boyfriend also shares doesn't feel great for said boyfriend to hear. warning for this one - although this fic is marked as complete, the ending is still a bit of a cliff hanger, bc it was meant to be followed up with another fic in the series but never was.

"When I Speak, Will You Listen?" by ForgottenVice: (64k) really neat AU where cultivation is based on an individual's voice / words of power. sy was born with an especially powerful voice... so naturally, his voice was taken from him. i probably could have plopped this rec into the 'familial relationships' prompt too - sy is raised by sqq and there's some yummy angst around their two voices there - but there's also a strong romance plot between lbh and sy and the mysterious voice lbh has had accompanying him for so many years.

"Cultivation Group Chat - Scum Villain Edition" by shorimochi: (73k) a silly fic where sy accidentally ends up in a group chat filled with cultivators. sy assumes it's just some weird roleplay thing... only to accidentally convince everyone in the chat that he's some sort of esteemed cultivation master.

[anarchictemptation]

So, I've had a bit of an emotional journey when it came down to getting these trolls uploaded and, uh.I'm sort of in a venty mode, so I'm doing a read more cut just so I don't bother people (TW for Drug Abuse and Suicidal Thoughts mentioned)

It became less of "lol, look at all these trolls I've had over the years, let's sell them" to a bit of a crippling "I did this to cope with what was happening to me and this is the financial repercussions of that"

When I joined the Homestuck fandom, I was 16. A long ago ex-friend had gotten me into it because he was an obsessive fan and I REALLY liked astrology at the time, so obviously what was gonna stop me from getting into this silly little webcomic? (Nepeta my BELOVED! Leo's for life!!!)

I've never really shared this with anyone outside of my CLOSEST of close friends, but I was in a really nasty situation. My parents were on drugs, deeply into it at the time of me joining Homestuck, and were basically nonexistent at that point of my life. They'd disappear for days at a time with no sign of them coming back anytime soon, so, while looking after my little brother, I'd get lost in this fandom and obtaining fantrolls was my own sick little kick

I wasn't creative at the time to really make my own, I'd just use sprite bases and all my own guys were basic as hell, but, when I found out troll adopts were a thing, I was OBSESSED

Some oldies might remember me being EVERYWHERE back in the day on DA under the unusualKitten alias. I was on every single page I could find trying to get at least ONE fantroll that someone had posted newly in the groups. It was amazing! I could drown myself in these guys I was getting and bury myself in art of them so that I could avoid the world that I was stuck in

Honestly, without that "distraction", I probably would've killed myself years ago

It was all I had in a shit world, it even led me making a short-time friend in my final year of high school, but it was fun

And then I grew up

Some things happened that involved me being the fucking savior of my family by dragging them out of that hell with my own two broken hands only for the sake of my brother. My mom got clean, my dad died because he couldn't get clean, I had been working a job in which case they'd have stolen my money almost every time I got it (like THAT was anything new), and we were just sort of stuck in limbo for a long time after that

I was still a part of Homestuck, but I wasn't A part of it anymore, if that makes any sense. Most I done was win a spot in the For Fans By Fans design contest with my Heir's Tears submission (Only 1 or 2 people bought the shirt and, two those people, I FUCKING LOVE YOUUUU, y'all are so cool), but I was pretty much dead in the water

Until I reconnected with my bestest friend

She helped me to regain the love again, as we'd rp a lot with all our different versions of canon characters bc we're maniacs (Which will ALL be featured in MSCOTT once I get back on the ball for writing it!)

And, as I sit here today, looking back on everything that happened 11 years ago, I've realized that things are a lot different now. I'm no longer the heavily traumatized kid I was back then, I have a life outside of the fantrolls I've hoarded over the years

And, yeah, it hurts seeing a lot of these guys go, it feels like a bit of myself is leaving with them, but that's not a part of my life anymore, that was a part of HER life

Don't get me wrong, I STILL love fantrolls and still have a handful of my own that I'll fight ANYONE over, but. I think it's time to let go of a past that I don't really want to be haunted by anymore

(But I hope this explains why I generate a LOT of fantrolls and then suddenly they're being given up as soon as something's done with them, hha, old habits die hard)

Thanks for readingggg, time to go cry a bittt!

[earlgreytea68]

i dont actually know the general consensus on I Am My Own Muse but to me it very clearly feels like pete addressing the fans directly - almost like a conversation? like the opening lines "here i am not sure you should take a chance. I like playing dumb letting you figure me out" basically completely summarises petes relationship with us during the early parts of this era. His uncertainty coming back but also the way he likes to keep us on our toes (like hes always done). His constant surprise that even one person appreciates his art. His odd fourth-wall-esque relationship w us - he always knows more than he lets on. like. these are crazy opening lines.

Especially looking at other songs petes addressed to us (namely thriller and our laywer). Those songs still feel like petes putting on a persona for our benefit. Hes talking to us through the mask he thinks we'll like best - but for his benefit not ours. In those songs he still wants to show his appreciation for the fans but hes afraid to be vulnerable about it. He hides behind tongue and cheek self deprecation (put this record down, we are bad news, we're only good to have almost famous friends... that whole song tbh) or like implication of rejection/disaster (we r not making an acceptance speech, car crash hearts, only thing i havent done yet is die) and its all glitz and distraction bc thats what he does. he will tell us their hearts beat for the diehards but not before telling us why its a bad idea. its defensive from the get go but in Muse he doesnt do that. yes he defends himself but his tone is balanced between resigned and resolute. its stripped down to just his own thoughts voiced aloud. it feels so much more genuine despite how much vaguer in address it is.

Also the general theme of this song is feeling hidden/secret (e.g. the angels didnt know his name, him feeling faded, feelings were tucked away) but trying to draw attention anyway(throw the year away, smash all the guitars, drop a bomb on things we care about) even if its hard/painful (twist the knife again, trying to keep it together).

This coupled with the title is a perfect representation of his journey as an artist in this era no? The vulnerability hidden in old songs and spoken word poems that he relives each night of the tour. An amalgamation of every little moment he created and tucked away is reborn on stage. And who has he shared this particular journey with??? The fans. It was us who he finally trusted with his works and words in the shows and we sang them back at him. Patricks journey alongside pete has felt more obvious bc of his whole demeanour but its pete who wrote his heart out to us. I think this song is a way of pete kinda of juggling this idea in his head before it ever took shape in thw real world. A way of connecting back with his audience. Not as an act of nostalgia but as moving on together. its a gorgeous song and it feels like a love letter to us in the very oarticular way a love letter from pete wentz feels like. its not soft or even sweet but it leaves you feeling comforted and stronger anyway. its solidarity yk.

ANYWAYS thats my ramble for today hope it was worthwhile <33 i really had to get that one out otherwise i may have exploded. can you tell smfs as an album and an era is my baby. sorry this is such a long one lol. hope you r having a great day :)

Awwww I *love* this. I *adore* "I Am My Own Muse" and I always have and I love everything you say about it. To write a song that sounds like that and then call it so deliberately "I Am My Own Muse," like, that we are there and ever-present but in the end he's got to come from his own authentic place. And it's like his instinct is to play a little coy and not be so vulnerable, but also he just wants to scream so someone hears him: Smash all the guitars 'til we see all the stars, like, he's screaming so that we will all see. He's trying so hard to keep it together, keep it together, so smash all the guitars 'til we see all the stars, because we are all in it together, and throw the whole year away and start fresh.

Look, i am Peterick all the way, we all know, and I think I've even used lyrics from this song in a Peterick fic, but in my secret heart of hearts, if you really ask me to be serious, what do I think Pete Wentz is writing about........I kinda think he's always writing about us.

[lovesickeros]

Hello! Since this blog doesn't see much activity nowadays, I wanted to say two things: 1. How are you? You were one of the people who inspired me to dive into SAGAU in 2022 and captivated me endlessly with your writing style. Your writing immersed me in what felt like a fantasy world in the best way—rife with possibilities, danger, love, and so much more. It propelled me to new heights and made me wonder what it would be like to be more than the reader, to wield a pen and use it as the brushstroke to paint all kinds of worlds, creatures, and characters.

On that note, I'll follow with the second thing: 2. You are one of my biggest inspirations as a writer. Because of you and others, I've spent the last two years writing and creating like never before in a way I didn't think I was capable of. I have an AO3 and a Tumblr blog, mainly dedicated to posting my musings in a "stream-of-consciousness" format for narrative purposes. Because of you, I've grown—as a person, friend, and writer. Because of you, I made countless memories I'll cherish for years: sharing and building stories with my friends' group chat, roleplaying, making AUs, etc. Because of you, I did everything I thought I couldn't: I fostered my creativity and cultivated it to plant what is now a thriving garden regularly visited by my friends. It has helped us bond immensely and provided me solace in my darkest hours.

Because of you, I wrote my first book on Wattpad. I hopped onto a wild, emotional, and unforgettable rollercoaster that saw my interest in watching movies and reading literature be re-ignited for the sake of inspiration, have a taste of fandom culture via Steven Universe, Genshin Impact, Murder Drones, and several other games and shows that have undoubtedly and irreversibly changed my life. Because of you, I made OCs, I discovered YouTube movie recaps, and now I can write a pretty good summary myself!

That is to say that I'm wholly grateful to you, Eros, and everyone else who led me down the path of the writer, supported me throughout with their comments, memes, stars, and kudos, and generally showed enthusiastic interest in my work. I wouldn't be here if not for you all. I hope your ship of life continues sailing smoothly, as has mine, after years of turbulent weather and unpredictable storms that threatened to throw us overboard if I hadn't held on to others (and myself) for support.

May the new year bring you joy and prosperity, and hey, what do you know? Maybe I'll write something for SAGAU someday. The only reason I haven't taken the plunge yet is because of how inactive (for lack of a better word) the community there has become, and I don't know what I would write. Ideas, anyone?

Anyway, I've talked for long enough. Keep up the good work, Eros, and remember that in someone's (my) heart, you are still held dearly as an inspiration. Even if the golden age has long faded, we will always have our memories to keep us company: "Don't cry because it ended. Smile because it happened."

it is unfortunate that the collective sagau fandom has kind of died out, honestly. its what got me really into writing as well (which i feel like i have to mention @/nicebonescomrade for being the writer to get me to make my first sagau blog. one of the other og's and also a phenomenal writer). im glad it had such a large impact on you though!! that makes me really happy bc ive always been self conscious about my writing and writing style ngl, though i never grew out of it bc it worked for me. i can't imagine stories like books as a movie in my head like some people (literally head empty) so i lean more on actually putting more feeling and description into my work to compensate. it gets a bit wordy but it helps me write bc i do not plan anything i just start writing based on vibes.

sagau downfall was definitely inevitable (and a part of why im super inactive) but im happy with how it turned out anyway bc of how big the fandom is and how many people turned to creative hobbies bc of it. its nice to know i at least had some kind of impact myself KJHKDH i wouldnt consider myself one of the "big" sagau accounts by any means so its a bit of a surprise ngl um. looks around.

i genuinely just spend most of my time these days printing out random fics when i get the urge (once in a blue moon, 99% of which are in my draft vault), playing whatever game caught my fancy this week and playing genshin because it's still a black hole i will never escape from! honestly maybe one day ill come back to this account for real instead of sporadic posting but uhhh. probably not unless a new big au pops up again.

[taegularities]

If I can be so honest your comment about 'but I know the ending, i don't need to share it' re - finishing the series left a really bad taste in my mouth. I've followed your blog since the amortentia chronicles, i've always loved reading your work and left feedback, but the posts you tend to put up now along the lines of 'seems like there's no interest anymore' before/after each chapter put me off continuing to leave feedback because what I do leave isn't enough? The numbers you get for C&F & CMI, multi part series which have spanned literal years and with you, through absolutley no fault of your own, being away from the community at times, are insane, I don't know any other series like them that can pull those kinds of numbers and have people writing paragraphs of love about them in your asks and it's a testament to the community you've built. Of course they're not going to get the same numbers the first few chapters got, it will never work like that.

I make and share content of my own and I understand how important feedback is but I do it because I love and enjoy it, if you don't have the energy or passion to carry on the series then don't do it. These posts about lack of feedback, almost like we're running an engagment crowdfunder to unlock a new chapter always just make me feel so weird as if we're dragging you through cement against your will to write 🤷‍♀️

sigh look idk what to tell you except the things i always say when i receive asks like this one. i write bc i love the characters and the stories, not because somebody's forcing me to. but it's a fact that feedback and interaction motivates writers. and it's not only the case here on tumblr – it's literally the same in general media, too. tv shows or books or movies get cancelled bc ppl stop caring. i know i don't earn any money with my fics, but the power readers have is extremely valuable and makes us want to keep doing what we do. and i share my stuff, so people can tell me what they think and whether they liked it and because i want to talk about the stories i love sm with someone. like if people don't interact, why am i sharing them

and i am not the only writer talking about this. yeah, you're right, i was gone for a long time due to reasons i had no control over – c&f was supposed to drop back in february. i do feel terrible for leaving for so long… i didn't think i'd get sick for months lol and i know this was one reason for the blog being so overall quiet. but you know what leaves a bad taste in my mouth? hyping stuff up and seeing people be super excited about it and commenting and then me getting very excited, too, and then not seeing half of these people ever again after drop day. i wrote c&f not bc anyone dragged me through cement, but because i loved the characters and would've finished the story either way. but i was motivated bc yall motivated me and i got through the scenes despite all the health issues and life, and then to get barely anything back for 20k words does leave a bad taste in my mouth, too. and i'm not the only writer saying this.

i'm also not only about interaction, bc if i was i'd be posting a popular genre fic here every week. i write when i want to which literally proves that i love my ocs and jks and come back bc i miss them, not bc i'm like 'oh i'm gonna get so many asks for this'. but it helps. it helps to see that people are just as enthusiastic as well and want to talk about it. tbh, i am so freaking grateful for all the love i have ever received on here, but it is true that interaction has waned, trust me. i didn't get a single reblog with a comment on this c&f chapter. i am really happy for you that you have your own reasons to create stories, but that doesn't mean i'm not allowed to be sad about everyone's disappearance, yk? tysm for supporting me, but if i'm being v annoying with my stuff, i am okay with you not interacting if it helps you create a safe space for you. i do appreciate you, but your ask did kind of make me feel shitty, too idk

[astralleywright]

oh yeah I totally understand why the crossovers happened and don't begrudge the cast or anyone for being excited about it - as much as it stings for me, personally, to see bh be defined for so long by their race to this endgame only to end up sharing it in such a massive way lmao. as a c3-only viewer (for now?), I could have made my peace with feeling a bit like I'm on the outside looking in in terms of plot and worlbuilding, but it is sad that bh themselves have been put in that position in the midst of all the Important Characters™ conversations.

as you say, it makes sense narratively…and by now we all know the narrative has been eating bh alive from the start. it's been going on way before the crossover episodes happened, it was basically baked into them and into the campaign in a way that - again, as I understand it - just wasn't there in the previous one. bh literally started out with an explicit personal connection, in a position of servitude, to a previous pc (and this really isn't meant as a dig to orym, it's just what his job was/is!), so that was obviously going to color their interactions with the world and the other characters.

I definetly don't want a big ass pvp fight or convo to take up anymore focus from bh, but in a way it does feel like it's too late? if the choice was made to not sacrifice the realism of the previous parties showing up (which I think/hope most people would have 'forgiven', given the nature of this storytelling), then sadly it makes a bit too much sense for those parties to also look down on bh and, as so many seem to want, punish them or whatever. I don't want to see that and don't think we will - I would be actively upset if that happened! - but emotionally it does feel like the narrative would lead to proving those people right :/

if bh just /had/ to share the spotlight, as they have been doing forever, I so wish the circumstances allowed us to just get back to the people they have built a connection with…they might not have a lot of npcs to call their own, but I def would've loved for the guests pcs to show up!

sorry for the long ask - I guess it's no use being sad about all of this, especially now, but I still am lmao. bh really invented new and exciting ways of being doomed and rejected by the narrative <3

at the end of the day I support them making bonkers choices, they're gonna end up carving an eight-room cottage out of moon crystals and taking turns taking predagen on little walks to nibble on gods to keep them humble

it turns out i don't have a super long answer to this ask other than yeah, i agree. i do have hope we won't just wrap this shit up after whatever shakes out with Predathogen (i'm now rooting at her getting to bite at the god's ankles forever, as a treat) but will fake some time to explore the quencies and the rammies of BH's decision. (which is what Matt seems to be suggesting we'll do).

and Ludinus is still out there maybe! tbh if they do get rid of the gods he might just peace out Yoda-style, bc that was his life's purpose and all, but if not there are many people who would like another round of beating up that old man. so idk maybe we'll do that? (that feels more like a oneshot thing if i'm being honest)

but even so i don't think you have to worry about interparty pvp breaking out over whatever BH decides. it isn't nearly as prominent in C3 since we mainly see Keyleth in an official, leaderly capacity, but she actually had major beef with the gods in C1-mainly the Matron, but she was also cynical abt them and their whole deal in general. she might have libbed out in the 30 years since but i still don't think she'll be too upset, if it all ends well. especially in private lmao. and the most religious person in VM is Pike, and Pike is a sweetie who has a whole arc in TLOVM abt her questioning her god and finding the power inside her all along so like. it'll be fine. certain people in the M9 might be pissed but i think the other members (ironically, probably the two clerics) would talk them down. they might get disinvited from Jester's wedding though (which is a shame because Ludinus definitely has an invite)

and i do think it's fair to be sad about all of this! i'm sad abt a lot of how BH's endgame has shook out as well! but yeah, there's nothing really to do with that sadness except feel it and then let it go. i mean, we could spend days on end in a negative spiral making a million posts abt every problem we have with c3. if we wanted to get unhealthy about it.