#but once tai was like I don't feel it with her

[merp-blerp]

Gaylor/Kaylor and Oz: Parallels and Theories Vol. 2 🌼🌈❇️

CW: Spoilers for L. Frank Baum's Oz book series (books 1-15). And this post is very late-stage-Kaylor-specific, so if that's not up your alley, that's chill.

Vol. 1 Here (I recommend reading Vol. 1 before this one)

Overblown Analysis Under the Cut ↓

AH! I'm so ecstatic that I get to make another one of these so quickly! I was so proud of Vol. 1 and I'm so happy there's new material to explore! Thank you very much for the reception to Vol. 1, I'm so glad people liked it. It's cool to see other people who probably didn't even see my post seemingly make the Return To Oz connections as well. It makes me feel "smart". 😅

Part 1: The Tin Woodman ❤️🌈

Let's start out with something small and old news. A theory that's new to me is the Tin Woodman's role in gaylor theories (He's very specifically called "Tin Woodman" in the books, not Tinman, so I'll call him by his book name so as to not blur the line of exactly which version of the character I'm talking about). This collage by iateallthecat2 on Twitter (from this post) brought it to my attention:

I'm not sure if there's already some in-depth theory that goes beyond this collage out there, so I'm gonna wing it from here based on my own Oz knowledge.

In the "ME!" MV, Brendon Urie's character is a suitor that Taylor rejects. They fight when inside a house and she rejects his proposal, but when he gifts her something with no general romantic meaning, a cat, they spend the rest of the MV having a good, platonically-coded time. Brendon plays someone who wants to play the role of Taylor's partner, but they seemingly work better as buds in their rainbow haven.

I have wondered if Brendon is supposed to be playing a beard who Taylor tries to take to freedom with her in this MV, but I'm admittedly slightly apprehensive about the idea. It would be kinda cool if one or more of Tay's beards also came out with her whenever she does. This plotline seems very similar to the suspected "she ghosted but kept the castle" narrative. In both Taylor rejects a proposal, except here Taylor and her beard seem more connected. It makes me wonder, if everything had gone to plan, would the narrative in 2019 have been that presumably Joe would've proposed and Taylor would have rejected it but they would've been on friendly terms. Or maybe all of that would've happened to Karlie and Josh in a way since they were married in 2018. Or maybe it would've happened to both of them. Then they would've been able to build a narrative for Kaylor as a couple that didn't involve saying "We hid this from you for this long". But that's spitballing.

Either way, Brendon is definitely someone who helps Taylor along her "story" as he infamously put himself:

Everyone knows that the Tin Woodman helps Dorothy on her journey, but he also helps out Ozma/Tip on hers in the second book and so on.

In the first book, the Tin Woodman's backstory is that he was once a human named Nick Chopper, who was engaged to a Munchkin girl named Nimmie Amee. While Nick seems to respect and love her, he also seems to only be engaged to her because he doesn't want to be lonely after the death of his parents, at least to me. But the Wicked Witch of the East curses Nick to chop off his limbs whenever he tries to chop wood. He gets these limbs replaced with tin parts until he is fully tin. But his body no longer needed a heart and therefore he felt no romantic love for Nimmie Amee, so their relationship fizzled out.

Whether he ever romanticly loved her in the first place is debatable in my opinion. I personally don't think he did, especially since long after he's gotten the realization that he had a heart, Nick never really tries to romanticly pursue Nimmie Amee again, but he does tie loose ends with her in The Tin Woodman of Oz. However, my point is that Nick seems to only want Nimmie when he thinks she can fill a void. Once he thought he was too broken for her to fix he subconsciously realized he didn't actually love her, but interpreted it as though he just "stopped" loving her.

To put it simply, I see Nick as practically going through comphet before finding true fulfillment in the things that come after he's un-rusted. My personal interpretation of Nick is that he is a gay man, unbeknownst to him, who tries to find love in a woman, but it inevitably doesn't work. He loved Nimmie because he hoped she could fix his pain. There's no way to prove Baum meant Nick to be seen this way, but queer interpretations of Nick are common in modern Oz fan circles. Somewhat like Taylor and Brendon in "ME!", Nick and Nimmie try to play the roles of a couple, but being a couple just isn't in the cards for them, so they keep things platonic.

In comparison, Nick loves the Scarecrow for the actual companionship he gives. The Tin Woodman states that he no longer needs Nimmie's love, as he has the Scarecrow's. The Tin Woodman and the Scarecrow are pretty similar to Dorothy and Ozma in terms of being queer-coded in their relationship. They live close to one another because they're sadder apart, cordially debate philosophy, rule Winkie Country together, and are often depicted comfortably in each other's physical space, among other wholesome details.

The physical representation of the Tin Woodman's heart is made of a velvet pouch and sawdust in the books, but in the '39 film Tinman's heart is a ticking clock with daisies stringed to it. Of course, daisies have a great significance to Kaylor because of the Big Sur trip. And clocks have been having a significance in Taylor's art since "The Man" and the Karma wall.

I don't necessarily think Karlie, Taylor, or Brendon are represented through the Tin Woodman, Nimmie, and the Scarecrow in Taylor's art in a literal sense. I see it as just another queer piece of the puzzle. Brendon might not literally be the Tin Woodman in Taylor's art the same way Karlie is Dorothy, but I think he at least played him during the Lover era. Brendon/Tin Woodsman helps Taylor/Ozma through her journey to where she belongs like a queer friend helping another queer friend.

Also, I'll leave this section off on this reach cutesy note:

Part 2: Ozma and the Wizard 🌺🪄

Back in Vol. 1, I suggested a theory that if Karlie Kloss was represented as Dorothy Gale in Taylor's music, then Taylor was more subtly represented as Queen/Princess Ozma. I've been seeing another theory around about Taylor being the Wizard, aka Oscar Diggs. I also really like this theory and I think it can make sense for both theories to exist simultaneously.

The Wizard is an illusionist. In the first novel, when appearing to each of Dorothy's friends individually he appears as something different to all of them. To Dorothy, he is a giant floating head, to the scarecrow he is a fairy, to the tinwoodsman he is a beast, and to the cowardly lion he is a ball of fire. He is able to change himself into anything he pleases, but he has no real magic. In order to rule over Oz unrightfully, Oscar Diggs stole Ozma away as a baby and gave her to a witch named Mombi, who transformed Ozma into a boy named Tip, disguising Ozma from everyone and herself; in the second book, Ozma is transformed back to her true form and takes her place as ruler of Oz, eventually ruling with Dorothy by her side. To make a long story short, Ozma and Dorothy eventually forgive Oscar for his crimes.

I see Oscar/the Wizard as representing Performance Taylor, while the real Taylor is Ozma. The Wizard is from Kansas in the '39 film and performance Taylor is currently associated with the Kansas City Chiefs. Performance Taylor, just like Oscar, is able to change himself when needed and isn't the unstoppable being his citizens once believed in despite never meeting him. Just like Oscar, Performance Taylor is an illusionist who appeases the citizens with theatrics to hide the truth for the time being. Performance Taylor/Oscar hides the real Taylor/Ozma away. Real Taylor/Ozma, when seen, is forced into the shape of a boy, Tip/James, Peter, the Man, etc. But soon Ozma reclaims her land and keeps the castle Oscar took, and so might the real Taylor.

If you believe Post Malone is playing a side of Taylor in the "Fortnight" MV, Taylor seems to be depicting herself as coming together with both the public and private parts of herself. Previously in MVs for songs like "...Ready For It", Taylor was always at odds with her clone, but in "Fortnight" they team up to get out of the asylum. Ozma and Dorothy make amends with Oscar and Taylor makes amends with herself.

Part 3: The Yellow Brick Road and The Emerald City 🟨❇️

I think a lot of us know about Taylor's Instagram grid currently aligning with yellow outfits from Eras at the moment:

Typically when Taylor's Instagram grid aligns like this it means something. The most common theory as to what this might mean is that Taylor is creating a yellow brick road. Yellow is often seen as the closeting color in gaylor circles for various reasons, such as the Evermore closet in The Lover House being filled with yellow clothes. Some fun estimates I've seen are that soon the alignment will be broken by some type of photo of Taylor in a green outfit post-Eras, like maybe a green outfit from tour in her Toronto thank you post or even her birthday post. The big hope right now is that this hypothetical post in a green outfit will signify Taylor's coming out being near, having reached her destination to the Emerald City, or that this green outfit post could even be a coming out post. My Oz-ian brain loves this idea! The yellow road to being free in the green, the color right after yellow in the rainbow.

In the first Oz book, the Emerald City is a huge hoax. It's not Emerald at all, but white. In order to trick the citizens of Oz into thinking that the city is emerald, the Wizard forces everyone to wear green-lensed spectacles that lock on; they are what make the city look green, the Wizard lying that they wear them because the brightness of the city would blind them if they didn't. Dorothy is given a "green" dress when she arrives in the Emerald City, but when she leaves it reveals itself as actually being white. After the first book, the Emerald City becomes truly emerald; from what I can remember there is no exact canonical reason as to why this is, so I theorize that the citizens just made it emerald after the wizard floats away in his balloon. The Emerald City truly being white represents the fakeness within the rule of the Wizard, but by the time Oz has its rightful ruler, Ozma, the city is truly Emerald. For TTPD and most if not all of Tay's discography, the colorless world represents the abusive music industry and closeting, but color represents Taylor's freedom, reclaiming the land. Also, the fictional Emerald City was inspired by the real-life White City Amusement Park that was once in Chicago, so there's that connection to white too. Green and White together remind me of Taylor's green band jacket in the "ME!" MV and her white band jacket in the "TSMWEL" performance from Eras. Symbolism-wise, Taylor thought she was close to reaching her destination when creating Lover, but the smallest man ruined it all and the emeralds were fake. Now she's about to go down the yellow road once more to get back to her emerald kingdom.

To expand on the colors of Oz a bit more, let's look at the house from "ME!"

Here's an official Oz map in case anyone finds it helpful:

This house in "ME!" is the starting point in the MV and the first room that we see is blue. Blue is the color of Munchkin Country in the Oz books, as every Oz region has a color. Munchkin Country is the first land of Oz we ever see and the starting point of "ME!" is blue just like it.

Then Taylor walks through a hall with blue walls and blue and yellow tiles on the floor. On her first trip to the Emerald City, Dorothy exclusively walks through Munchkin Country to the Emerald City, so the tile being blue and yellow signifies that this is only the first journey to the Emerald City.

The next room is a large green one. The Emerald City, right?

But when Taylor makes it out the front door, the house is white with some purple. Not the true Emerald City. Purple is for Gillikin Country. When Ozma is kidnapped by the Wizard of Oz and given to Mombi she lives in Gillikin Country as Tip. The Emerald City is (partly) white, Taylor's in her closet yellow, Ozma/true Taylor is dressed as a guy, and Ozma/true Taylor is yet to rule.

But finally, later in the video when Brendon and Taylor are on platonic terms, they run up to a massive green building with a rainbow beaming in front of it as they wear green clothes. I think this was intended to be the true Emerald City. The pink soldiers around it even look like the poppy field. I think it's notable that in the MV Brendon and Taylor run up to the Emerald City, but we never see them enter. I take that as acknowledging that Taylor wasn't there yet. "ME!" was not a coming-out video, it was a sprint toward that goal. So she wasn't inside the Emerald City quite yet, she was on the way, ever so close. However, as stated before, the smallest man ruined things, so this was retconned through Eras. However, if Taylor got to come out during Lover this would've been the final stop.

I was thinking that it would also be crazy if instead of a photo in a green outfit, we got one in red. In relation to Oz, red is Quadling Country. In the first book, it's the last place Dorothy journeys to before making it home. It's also where she meets Glinda for the first time (Glinda is the Witch of the South in the books and a different witch is the Witch of the North). Glinda is the only one who knows the real way to get Dorothy home, her silver shoes. So red would also be an interesting choice in this scenario, but green is definitely the more culturally recognizable choice.

I want to acknowledge the "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" connection I've seen around, even though I don't think I have much to add to it. The idea is that Elton John's song "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" has thematic parallels to gaylor. This idea that Taylor could leave behind a toxicly ritzy world for something better. Elton is an openly gay man in Hollywood who had to deal with a lot of silly Hollywood games regarding his sexuality. The way "GBYBR" is used in his film Rocketman definitely depicts Elton deciding to fix his issues brought on by the industry's abuse. Could this be what Taylor's about to do herself in her own way? Leave behind the yellow cedar closet for a life that's true to her? Taylor wore this outfit that already had plenty of Kaylor tie-ins like the twinning Carolina Herrera fit and the panther necklace, but her shoes match the ones Elton wears in the "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" album cover as he steps in or out of the Ozian picture.

As an extra fun tidbit, let's work some Oz history into this! It is a commonly told story that L. Frank Baum's inspiration for the yellow brick road comes from a real road in Peekskill, New York. The myth is that Baum asked for directions to the military academy and was told to "Follow the yellow brick road." Even though this exact story is likely just a myth, it's certainly not unlikely that Baum saw those yellow bricks. While Peekskill is not New York City, of course, New York City has a big significance in Taylor's music. In "WTNY" she views it as a place where anyone can be free. New York City could be its own character in her music. If New York City is freedom it could be seen as an equivalent to Ozma's Emerald City. Peekskill isn't where the city is, it holds the road to it and freedom.

Conclusion 🌼

Again, it's so cool to have more to add on to this Oz theory. I admit that it feels a bit vindicating that I made Vol. 1 and in due time we got more Oz crumbs. Wow, can't believe Taylor saw my post. In all seriousness, this has been so much fun. I know there's the possibility of yet another part to this. If you feel like I've forgotten anything, let me know! Can't wait to know what's on the horizon!

[booasaur]

Yellowjackets - Season 02

[orchidyoonkook]

To What We Were Before, And All The Things After | JJK | Ch. 8

Title: Photo Shoots and Blasphemous Discoveries

Pairing: Prince!College Student!JK x Fine Arts Major!(F)!Reader

Series Rating//Genre: (M) | College AU, Mild Royalty AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, S2F2L, Indiffernce to lovers, sloooowwww ass burn

Summary: You're just there to help JK with his final project, so why are you being doused in water, facepaint and smoke? Art. Art is why.

Warnings: T, language, fluff, angst, honestly this one's kinda wholesome and fun, some photogrpahy jargin in there, but nothing a quick google search can't fix if you really need to <3, it's mostly surface level jargin. Also the smoke machine works cuz JK has great ventilation due to the massive windows being open, so don't worry bout that XD, some light and fun name calling, some world building. Ask if you need clarification on anything. That's all I think!

Word Count: 11,684

Release Date: September 1, 2024. 4:30PM

A/N 1: Surprise! Happy JK Day.

Series: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven

PJK [7:36pm]: Saturday afternoon. my place. 11am.  PJK [7:36pm]: bring an extra set of clothes, something warm. Sweats if you have them. PJK [7:37pm]: also, Im gunna need your shirt size

The first three weeks of November have flown by and dragged on at the same time.

The weather’s getting colder. You need a thick jacket if you want to be anywhere outside, and all leaves have fallen from the trees, leaving pines the only ones left with their winter coats on. Hot chocolate from greenhouse cafe has become part of your life’s blood so you don’t freeze, and gloves with pocket warmers inside them are once again a part of your everyday. 

But November skies have returned. And you frequently set up camp on the drying grass beside the greenhouse, dressing your canvas with oil paint to their likeness as it’s the only paint that doesn’t dry the second it’s out of the tube in the cold, static air.

Jungkook told you earlier in the week the shoot would most likely be this weekend, and that he just had a few final strings to pull together before being able to confirm. So with that in mind, you intentionally tried to finish all your work before this weekend, knowing the shoot will take a while to complete.

He mentioned it may leak over into Sunday depending on how much you get done on the first day, which is fine with you considering you usually spend Sunday evenings at his place anyway. You’d consider it an extended edition of your regularly scheduled broadcast.

And speaking of regularly scheduled, you haven’t missed a single movie night since Nel left. Granted, it’s only been three weeks, but even missing the two you did because of Nel had made an impact. 

You’d gotten so used to them, having that time to destress and unwind before the week starts. A nice little routine that helps reset you both mentally and physically.

Suddenly not having that was…a weird feeling you try not to remember. 

And you are more than happy to never miss another one ever again.

You aren’t sure what Jungkook tells Adaline he’s doing during movie night, but she’s never interrupted you, not even once. And it’s something you are increasingly grateful for, because she is one of the things you destress from as your unspoken rivalry always amps up the closer to exam season you get.

It’s Thursday evening, and you’re in your room finishing up a Microeconomics 3 assignment while piano music plays on a speaker in the corner. You use it to help you focus, and it’s working its magic as you’re finishing your work in record time. 

Music has always helped you work better, and you credit it largely with how you’ve been able to keep up with everything in your schooling.

Yuri’s in her room, doing homework as well you assume. Or maybe texting Tai—the dreamy, big dicked Ilcalos island Count—you swear she’s only put her phone down for sleep and showering, as she’s constantly checking to see if he’s messaged her. And you hope it turns out well for them, Yuri deserves someone who treats her well. Especially after the whole Jungkook debacle—which you’re not allowed to bring up—and then the poor rebound you aren’t allowed to talk about either. You’re just happy she’s finally found someone worth her time.

Picking up your phone, you shoot Jungkook a text back.

You [7:40pm]: okay! saturday at 11 sounds good. I’ll bring sweats and warm socks

You message him your shirt size too, curious as to what he’ll use it for, but you’re sure you’ll find out in due time. You always do.

Subject to many of his homework assignments, you’ve been posed and lit and adjusted every which way. 

Jungkook is incredibly professional when you’re with him as a model. Light touches to correct posing, always with a ‘may I’ before he does, and he fills the room with kind words, good vibes, and fun music so you never feel awkward. 

At first you were really iffy on the whole idea when he first asked in September, because it would be the prince of your nation photographing little ol’ you. You weren’t anything special—yet—and you’re still never one for being in the spotlight, or for being on camera. At all. But if it was just for homework, and you were helping out a friend…you figured why not? 

It helped that all of your worries immediately faded when you saw the results of that first shoot.

An email from a very non-princely email address found its way into your inbox. The subject was the date of the shoot, and the only message inside being:

 thanks. Hope you like them. 

Let’s do it again sometime.

-J

When you opened the attachments you made a quick dive to catch the phone that fell from your hands in shock. 

You looked…beautiful. Like you never had in pictures before. Not in school, or at graduation, not even in the ones you took of yourself. 

You didn’t know you were capable of looking like that. 

Like how he saw you. Captured you. 

And you’ll never admit you’ve held your chin a little higher with every shoot since.

They make you feel powerful, attractive. More confident, and sure of yourself, as if you were always meant to be in front of a camera. Like you’d been in front of one since before you could walk.

They do that for you.

He…does that for you—with his pictures, of course.

Jungkook is very talented. Very skilled with his camera, and you find yourself looking forward to the concepts he comes up with every time. Trusting him and whatever his vision is wholeheartedly. 

Though a small, immature piece of you is also pleased he still wants you to model, and not Adaline. That he finds you easier to work with over her.

Your competitive streak never fails to come out, even with the smallest, secretive things.

Take that Adaline.

You gladly help him out with his homework, and he does the same for you. 

If you ever need a male reference or a profile study. Anatomy practice, features practice, likeness practice. Anything and almost everything, all you have to do is ask, and he sits still or places whatever you need in front of you while you sketch.

Hands, however, have always been a personal favourite of yours.

They’re one of those things that can be drawn a hundred different ways and never look the same. Always a new position you can put them in. Consistently able to shake things up. And one set is never like the others—like eyes. There’s little differences in all of them and that’s where their magic lies.

You do these studies at the greenhouse, it has the best light to shadow ratio. When you ask him for one, he’ll switch to working with one hand, while the other does whatever you tell it. Normally either placed on your table or if there isn’t enough room, which nine times out of ten there isn’t because of all your supplies, you stick your foot on the lower metal frame of his table and he rests his arm, wrist or palm on your up bent knee. 

Due to this, you’ve unintentionally come to find out that his hands are very strong, very calloused, and very, very warm…

Also! Aside from hand studies, you love loose figure studies because they’re great warm up sketches. And what Jungkook doesn't know is that you have dozens of warm up sketches of him. Doesn’t know you sneak pictures here and there when you can, hiding them in a hidden album on your phone entitled ‘hmwk screenshots.’ And he definitely doesn’t know that when he’s sitting at the cafe, nose deep in assignments, you doodle his features or his outfit in real time.

A nose here, a jacket there. A muscular forearm covered in tattoos also tends to find its way onto your page every so often.

He’s got a good physique. And the ridges make for excellent anatomy practice. So does the intricate line work of tattoos, and fabric rippling. Especially in drastic lighting. Consistency is key in maintaining and improving your work and it’s not like any of these sketches will ever see the light of day anyways. 

They’re just, well…practice. 

A sigh escapes you, and you refocus on finishing your microecon work. You still have two more assignments to get done before Saturday at eleven.

“And why are you working with some random girl when I’m available, again?” Adaline asks. She’s currently sitting on Jungkook's couch in your spot. He’s setting up tomorrow's materials against the big white wall by the floor length windows that showcase his balcony.

It’s why he chose to live here instead of in the dorms or on campus. His place isn’t enormous, like most people would think, it has enough room for everything a regular student needs: bedroom, kitchen, workspace, living room, bathroom, even a guest room. But the one thing he keeps different is the big white wall where a dining room would normally be. 

Jungkook’s place has high ceilings, 10 feet tall, which is higher than the average but not excessive. And the wall that connects his kitchen to the balcony is a perfect mock studio. He can even keep all his equipment there; lights, gels, backgrounds, tubs full of props, camera cases, lenses, and more all stored in neat shelving against another wall. 

“Because students volunteered for extra credit, and she’s who was assigned to me,” a small lie, one he was sure that Adaline wouldn’t dig into too deeply. 

“Why didn’t you tell me I could volunteer?”

“Because you didn’t need the extra credit?”

She pouts, and goes back to her phone.

Adaline also doesn’t know it’s you he’s photographing and that is one hundred percent intentionally planned by him. 

He could sense something between you two after you made that one comment after fall break. He notices now how you stiffen slightly every time he mentions Adaline, and the one time he mentioned you in passing to test the waters, Adaline changed the conversion topic almost immediately. A look of annoyance, or maybe even insecurity in her eyes.

So he’s been lucky that Adaline has never wanted to see any of his schoolwork prior to or after the singular shoot he did with her. 

Lucky she hasn’t seen your face fill up his screen constantly. 

And extremely lucky that she doesn’t know about the hidden folder buried deep in his desktop labeled ‘eqpmt rcpts’ filled with dozens of candid shots of you.

To be fair, you don’t know about them either. They’re random, shots taken every now and then where he thought you looked happy, focused, or just existing. True candids of the most candid person he knew.

It started that day with his first assignment from Professor Hirmer. He’d taken those quick pictures of you painting, and then simply never stopped. 

He has pictures of you in the courtyard, walking and talking to Yuri, you smiling. He has some he took on his phone when you’re over for movie night, invested in the film or talking to him. And a bunch of you painting at the greenhouse. It’s hard to take secret candids when he’s right beside you, but he manages seeing as you haven't caught him yet.

He even has a few of you and Nel, love clearly written on your face in every single one of them.

Whenever he spots you before you spot him, and he has his camera on him, he takes a couple. 

They’ve amassed into a healthy sum, but he thinks of it as a harmless habit as no one will ever know. And it’s not like he’s following you around to take them or using them for anything nefarious. 

He just likes taking your picture. Capturing your spirit, your candor. 

Your realness. 

You are wholly yourself, always, no holding back, all of the time. 

And to him, it feels like coming up for a breath of fresh air.

“Hey!” you say as you let yourself into Jungkook’s apartment. You’d knocked but no one answered and it was currently 10:56am on Saturday, so you knew he was here. Plus, his door was unlocked.

“Jungkook?” you call. 

No answer.

You take your shoes off after closing the door and locking it. He should really keep his door locked. 

Very quickly become best friends with the couch, you toss your backpack of warm clothes on the floor while you wait for him to make an appearance. 

There’s shoot equipment everywhere; lights in the corner, some with soft boxes on them, gels laid out on the coffee table, and what you’ve come to learn is a lens case sits on the couch beside you in Jungkook's usual spot. 

Jungkook has also somehow managed to find some small trees in blue ceramic pots and what you’re pretty sure is a smoke machine. 

But the most peculiar thing is what looks to be a kiddie pool up against the wall with a folded tarp at its base. 

Well that's…interesting…

You hear a door open somewhere in the apartment and running water. 

“Jungkook? That you?”

“Hey! Yep. Just give me a sec, I’m almost done.”

The water sounds cease and Jungkook makes his grand entrance as he turns the corner holding a large watering can. Your eyebrow raises.

“For the trees?” you ask.

“What?” 

You point to the watering can currently making his veins pop. 

He laughs, “Oh! No. This is for later. You’ll see,” and walks to the other side of the room by the pool. 

“Aren’t we mysterious today,” you say, following him with your eyes. He’s in ripped black jeans that accentuate the muscle definition of his thighs, and a matching baggy shirt. When his back is turned you snap a quick picture. The fabric folds on his baggy shirts are some of your favourite mindless things to cool down sketch.

“Nah, just focused. We have a lot to get through today.”  He sets down the watering can and you can see the moment the switch flips from friend to photographer. “The guest room is ready for you. There’s a clothing rack inside with each look labeled. There’s also makeup and face paint, if you could bring out the make up after you're done changing, that would be great. We’re gonna start with ‘Bright and Bold’, okay?” 

You usually use the spare room as a change room when you have to switch clothes for a shoot. But they were always from your own closet. He’d tell you the concept he was going for and you’d bring a few options to choose from.

Makeup you were used to, though. Jungkook loves abusing your artistic abilities for his shoots in the way you decorate your face or body, saying they make his works a level up from the rest of his classmates. 

They also usually make for some of the coolest pictures you have of yourself.

This is the first time he’s ever bought clothing, though.

You shouldn’t be as surprised as you are, this being his final assignment for an important class, and him being as serious as he is about his work and the final product. But you can't help it, you’re excited to see everything he’s chosen for the shoot. 

For you.

For the shoot.

“Yep, sounds good. Be out in a few,” you reply. He nods in acknowledgement before moving to set something up and you don’t stick around to find out, grabbing your bag and heading towards the door lined hall. 

The guest room is modest and clean. White sheets and gray comforter with, surprisingly, two throw pillows to spruce it up. The walls are white too, but you’re pretty sure that’s because Jungkook’s not allowed to paint the apartment per his landlord's wishes—a thought that still makes you laugh.

He could buy any place he wanted, but chose to rent. ‘To get the real university experience,’ he explained when you asked him the first time you went over.

Black furniture accents the room. A comfortable looking leather chair sits in the corner by a glass door that leads to the balcony. It has a small table beside it. There’s a dresser with a mirror in the other corner and of course, in the center of the room, is the bed. It’s a nice room. However, the newest edition is what’s keeping your eye.

Four shirts hang from the rack at the foot of the bed. The first is vibrant and colourful, the second a light neutral short sleeved V neck, third is strapless and skin coloured, and the last is made from thin black fabric you assume will be skin tight by the looks of it. 

As promised, they’re all labeled with a sticker. 

You throw your bag on the bed and grab the colourful one first. Its sticker says ‘bright and bold,’ and you put it on after removing the shirt you came in, then zip it up. The material feels heavy, durable and expensive. You check the tag on the inside seam and see it’s from Ilkaya, one of the biggest and most expensive fashion designers on this side of the realm. 

Your eyes bug out of your head, and you try not to breathe too hard for fear of ruining it. Your routine of thrifting all your clothes makes you pretty damn sure you can’t even imagine how much this cost. 

It feels good though, comfortable, not itchy. Really freaking expensive.

You look at yourself in the mirror, and you have to admit you look amazing. It fits perfectly in all the right places, compliments your skin tone, and even brings out your eyes. Begrudgingly, you admit to yourself that maybe there’s some sense in what the price tag could be. But it would still be a ridiculous sum for a jacket.

With one last look in the mirror, you grab the palettes, brushes and other tools off the dresser, and leave your designated dressing room for the day in favour of returning to the living room. 

Jungkook’s got music going from your shared playlist. Insisting on making one after your second shoot together, when he decided you both agreed to the arrangement becoming a regular thing. It’s a good mix of both of your musical tastes, even though you guys figured out quickly that you liked pretty similar stuff anyway. 

“What do you think? Does it work?” You ask as you turn the corner. 

Jungkook fiddles with this camera before looking and pausing for a moment to take you in. You hope you look okay, but the weird look he has on his face makes you backtrack a bit. 

“Is this not the one you wanted? It had the label on it. But I can go back and double che- ”

“You look amazing,” is all he says, and your worry slides off you instantly. He smiles wide, the one you’ve come to recognize as genuine. 

“Thanks. But the colour’s doing most of the work for me,” you say, smiling back shyly.

He has a white background set up, and two differently coloured gel’d lights sit on opposite one another, a third, smaller floor light faces the background. A backlight, he’d call it. 

Bright and Bold indeed, though there is the matter of-

“What do you want me to do for my make up?”

“Actually,” he sets down his camera gently on a table, “Is it okay if I do it? I want it to be a little more on the amateur side and I don’t think your years of refined talent would let you get the exact look I want.” 

That’s new. But you're here to stand and look however he wants you too, so you allow him with a nod. 

“Sure, where do you want me to sit?”

“Here’s fine,” he says as he pulls a stool that was off to one side close to one of the windows. “As long as you don’t mind holding the make up. I don’t have a table to set them down on.  Should’ve thought of that, sorry.” 

You can tell he’s mentally scolding himself for forgetting something.

“No no, it’s fine,” you say, taking your seat, “I don’t mind, really.” 

Placing the balls of your feet on the bar that holds the chair legs together, you make your lap even enough to set the palettes out, and use a hand to hold all the brushes. 

Jungkook laughs, noticing your feet as you sit, “Cute socks.”

They’re light blue with a fox face on them, and little ears stick up from the elastic around the ankle. 

“Thanks,” you laugh too, they’re your favourite pair. “I call them my fox socks. They’re lucky.”

“Let’s hope so. Wish me luck fox socks,” he calls to your toes, and you wiggle them in response.

He picks a brush and chooses a colour. “Close your eyes and let me know if I’m pressing too hard. If it isn’t obvious, I’ve never done this before.”

You close your eyes and whisper, “Will do.”

It's a uniquely intimate experience having your makeup done. Willingly letting someone get up close and personal with you, allowing them to see every potential scar, blemish and pore in the name of beauty and for the sake of creativity. 

In this case, it’s also a little questionable considering where you feel the brush putting down colour: cheeks, lids, temple, nose. However, you’re simply a pawn in a well thought out plan, so you sit and wait for him to finish.

“Annnd done,” he says, making a final swipe with the brush on your cheek. “You look great! I didn’t hurt you, right?” he asks, showing you the makeup in a palettes mirror. Your face looks like it’s been attacked by a rainbow in the best way. You smile, taking the mirror from him and looking at all the little details. 

For a first timer, Jungkook did a really good job. 

“Nope, I’m good. How do you want me?”

Jungkook leads you to the backdrop, placing you in front. 

“One second,” he says, grabbing a remote and clicking a button to lower the black out curtains on the windows, and then another that turns off the apartment lights. He also clicks on all the lights he’s set up and you’re quickly illuminated by a bright red and purple as well as the back light.

“I’m good to pose?” he asks. 

“Yep.” 

You love that he always asks first. It makes you feel safe and considered, consenting to every touch prior to its occurrence. 

Jungkook instructs the first pose to have your hands on the sides of your face, making slight adjustments so that you don’t cover any of the makeup. And for the first time, his touches leave little sparks where they land. 

You’re sure it’s just because of the lights or that the shirt is thick and makes you warm. 

Or maybe you’re just nervous and need to get the first photo jitters out of your system.

Soon enough, the camera’s pointing at you and you smile the brightest you can. He’s given you the prompt of ‘you’re so excited and happy you can’t hold it in,’ and you work with it the best you can, taking the first few with the pose he gave before being given full reign. 

It’s a decent way into the first shoot when Jungkook says, “Hmm…we’re not quite there yet, I need a bit more,” and follows up with, “How about ‘you’ve just been commissioned by the Modern Art Museum to have the leading showcase for next year’.” 

You smile the biggest you think you ever have at the thought. Because that’s the dream, that is the biggest goal you could achieve. An entire gallery of your work as the primary exhibition in the Western Shores Modern Art Museum? You couldn’t go any higher. It’s every artist's dream.

“There you go! That’s it!” The camera’s capturing quickly as you imagine what it would be like to have your own showcase at the WS-MAM. Incredible is the first word that comes to mind, your work in the biggest museum on the continent? You can’t even imagine, but you want to. 

One day, you promise yourself. You’ll do it one day.

“Okay,” Jungkook says, breaking your daydream, “Let me switch out the gels for new colours and go again. These are great so far though, you're doing amazing.” 

You hold your hand out for a high five and he smacks it. “Go team!” you say, and he laughs.

An hour and a half, a makeup fix and three lighting changes later, the first shoot finishes. You collapse on the couch and rub the muscles on your thighs. 

Jungkook plops down beside you, nose deep in the pictures he’s just taken, double checking everythings good.

“This is a fantastic start, I hope we can keep it up all day and finish before tomorrow.”

“Me too,” you say, and you mean it. Shoots with him are always fun, but inevitably tiring. “I’m gonna to grab a water, want one?” 

“Yes please,” he replies without looking up.

In the kitchen, you open the fridge to grab the two bottles and notice a box, stamped with a coffee mug that has a greenhouse inside of it, on top. The greenhouse cafe’s logo. 

“Can I ask what’s inside the cafe box?” you ask as you sit back on the couch and pass him a bottle.

“Ah, caught red handed,” he says, setting his camera on the table and taking a swig. “I may have asked Vivan earlier this week to make sure there was an overstock of tarts so I could grab them for you as a thank you for today.”

...Oh

That’s so sweet. He’s never gotten you a thank you gift before, especially not in the form of the most delicious pastry to ever exist. Maybe you should get him something for all the times he’s helped you with homework? A solstice gift maybe?

There’s heat forming in your chest and you really hope it’s not the beginning stages of heartburn. Maybe Jungkook has antacids. 

“You didn’t have to do that, I’m happy to help.”

“So you don’t want them then?” his shit eating grin making a glorious comeback because he knows what your answer’s going to be.

“No! I want them. I most definitely want them.”

He chuckles and puts his water down.

“Okay Donatello, glad you accept. Let's move on to the next set up. There’s makeup remover and cotton pads in the room, and some moisturizer too if you need it.”

The next shoot is called ‘Regality,’ and it has you in the strapless shirt. You find out it’s quite a low cut when you put it on. There’s enough to cover you, but there’s definitely a lot of your chest showing. However, under the shirt on the hanger is a scarf to cover yourself with, which you think is very considerate.

“Makeup?” you ask as you come out again, scarf covering you.

“Neutral, but strong. Kind of like how my mother does,” the background is still white, but you have a hunch that it will remain white in this picture, unlike the last one. “This one is going to be black and white, so try to emphasize your natural beauty.”

You ignore that he essentially just said you're beautiful, surely he’s just being kind and professional. Making sure his model feels good about herself. 

Right?

Right.

You put on a coat of mascara and go light on the shadow so it won't be too dramatic on film. You also use a shade of lipstick that adds just a tint to your lips and a blush that makes your eyes pop.

Jungkook has you sit on the stool from earlier and faces your body three quarters of the way towards the camera, but keeps your head turned in profile. 

“Oh! Almost forgot, one second,” Jungkook jogs to his room, coming back with a palm sized velvet box. “I had my mother send these over for this shoot. She has better taste than me, so I let her pick them out.”

Your stomach plummets to the floor when he opens the box. 

Inside are two dangling diamond earrings, and quite possibly the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen.

And now you’re terrified. 

“Jungkook, I can't wear those. They look like they’re worth more than my house, my car and my tuition combined.”

He takes one out and places it in your hand for you to put in, it’s the length of your index finger. And all you can think about is the potential houses you’re holding as you look at it. 

It’s a semi-rectangular earring, encrusted with four columns of diamonds that cascade down, each column longer than the previous. Like a sparkling waterfall you can attach to your ear.

“Don’t worry about it, mum said she never wears them anyway because they’re part of a set that the necklace was lost to years ago. Please,” his face is nothing but reassurance and small smiles, “You’re giving them a chance to live again.”

You couldn't say no to those eyes even if you wanted to.

So you reply, almost breathless and still against your better judgment, “Okay.”

Placing them in one after the other, they have a significant, understandable weight to them. You take a couple deep breaths so you don't freak out, and then you return to your previously designated pose, profile set, body facing the camera.

“Can I adjust?” Jungkook asks, after taking a step back and getting a wider view. 

You nod gently, still terrified of the earrings.

He makes sure the earring is visible and untangled first, before a finger gently comes beneath your chin, and lifts it a bit higher. 

The feeling they leave behind is all you can think about as you stare at your place on the wall, Jungkook snapping away. Not even the soft light illuminating your profile is enough to make you blink.

This shoot goes by quickly, and you’re relieved to get the earrings back safely inside their box.

“It’s like 2:45, wanna break for a late lunch?” Jungkook asks. 

“Please, I’m starved,” you say, returning from the guest room after tossing on the sweater you brought. “What's on the menu?”

“Well, we have two options,” he says, looking very faux serious, “1. We order out from wherever you want and awkwardly wait for it to arrive because the next shoot is not one we can’t prep for, then eat, then shoot.  Or 2. I make use of the ingredients I bought to make Bulgogi Kimchi Fried Rice and you get lunch and a show.”

You're shocked. 

Jungkook…cooks? Oh this you absolutely must see.

“Hmm….” you say, pretending to really mull it over in the same ‘serious’ tone, “I’m thinking I’ll have to go with option two, Chef. But I’ll lend a hand where I can, no use in standing around doing nothing.”

“Every chef needs a sous.”

With both of you on task, lunch is getting made quickly. Jungkook has all the ingredients to make ‘my buddy’s famous family recipe,’ a man who you assume is a chef back at the palace. The island countertop is currently covered in them; onion, kimchi, marinated bulgogi, gochujang, cooked rice, eggs and more. 

You’re surprised at how skilled Jungkook is in the kitchen. He’s cutting the ingredients like he’s been doing it his whole life and working the pan over the stove like the proper technique has been drilled into him since birth. 

Thirty minutes pass, and after both of you shed a tear at the cut onions and evenly split the remaining tasks, you’re sitting on the couch about to take your first bite. It smells delicious. Your mouth is watering and you can’t wait to dig in, stomach painfully empty by this point.

Finally taking that first bite, you nearly die of euphoria.

“Ouhmahgaud,” you say, mouth half full. Jungkooks on the other side of the couch, trying not to cough out his own food from laughing at your reaction. His eyes are nearly shut with how wide he’s smiling.

“Good?” he asks after swallowing his food first, like a civilized person.

You’re vigorously nodding as you swallow your own helping in hopes you’re understood.

“You’re giving me this recipe. I need it. I don’t think I will survive if this is the only time I ever get to eat it.” Your bowl is almost half gone already. Thank god there’s leftovers, you will be having more.

Plus, you want to make it for your mom when you go home, she’ll love it. 

“I’ll text it to you later, don’t worry.”

You’re very sure the look on your face conveys the gratitude you feel and the rest of the meal passes in a very comfortable and satisfied silence. 

Twenty-ish minutes later, after letting your seconds settle for a couple minutes, Jungkook gets back to business. 

“Next look is the most adventurous, it uses the facepaint. Are you okay with contacts?”

“I think so, never tried them before though. Just give me a few before we start so I don’t explode when I stand up.”

“All good,” he says, before quirking a lip and adding, “I really don’t feel like explaining why there’s kimchi and bits of you all over my walls to either of our parents, so take all the time you need.”

You laugh, firstly at the visual, then at the idea of Jungkook meeting your mother. That would be something you needed on record, paper and film.

After a minute, you get up, the guest room making your acquaintance once more. 

“This one is called Enigmatic,” Jungkook calls.

“Got it!”

You take longer than normal to change, maybe eating before putting on the skin tight shirt wasn’t a great idea. But at least it was stretchy. 

It has long sleeves, a high neck, and is a very dark midnight black. There’s a matching black scarf for this one too, and a safety pin attached to the corner.

“Okay, what's the plan for this one? I hear facepaint is involved,” you say, back for round three, scarf in hand.

The background of the set is black now, a close match to your shirt. Jungkook is by the smoke machine, currently set up on the stool and plugged into a nearby outlet. 

You hold up the scarf, questioningly.

“That’s to go over your head after the paint, but let’s see if you can do contacts first, they’re in the washroom. Need help?”

“No, I'm good.”

You don’t succeed at first, but after a couple attempts you look in the mirror and see purple eyes staring back at you. You love them.

“I look like a badass,” you say, returning. The smoke machine’s been turned on and it’s created a completely different atmosphere. At your reemergence, Jungkook shuts it off and comes close to give you a look. You freeze a little at the eye contact, his browns meeting your currently violets for a prolonged moment.

“They look better than I’d hoped, this is going to be great.” 

He reaches under the gels on the table for a piece of paper. It’s a makeup model face with the look he wants drawn on. “Are you able to do something like this?”

The diagram shows the cheeks, bottom half of the nose and down all the way to the neck as black, and the eyes and up as white, bleeding down into the black like smoke. You’re going to need eyeshadow for that part. If you did that with the face paint it would just become a gray mess.

“Yep, but it’s going to take some time to get it right.”

“That’s okay, I’ll use it to get the smoke machine properly set up.”

You use one of the palette mirrors and start with the white, covering the top of your face and making a good base layer for the eyeshadow. Then fill the bottom of your face and neck with the black. Carefully, so as to not make gray, you use a large brush to cover both sides with their respective eyeshadow shades, before blending them together like the reference. Your skin starts to feel like it’s on fire by the time you're satisfied and you check your phone for the time when you finally finish. 

4:37pm. 

Not bad. You put the scarf over your head and cover your ears with it, using the safety pin to hold it in place. 

“Done.”

Jungkook takes one look at you and lights up. 

“Have I ever mentioned how talented you are, and that you make my schoolwork so much more fun? Because I feel like I should again even if I already have.” Your cheeks heat, glad he’s excited you’re able to help. “How did you manage to make it look even better?”

“I do vaguely remember mentioning something about a deal with a semi-suspicious genie,” you joke. And both of you break out in giggle fits after a second, recalling the conversation from forever ago. 

Running through the same steps of lighting, posing, and adjustments, Jungkook then flips on the smoke machine and lets it fill the room heavily before starting to take pictures. 

You’re sitting on a small box this time, so that you’re slightly lower than the camera. Jungkook tells you to keep your hands at your sides and look up, just above the rim of the camera lens. It creates a very interesting look, and you're excited to see the results. 

He has you do a couple more poses before allowing you to do your own thing once more, trying to think of what would look mysterious and enigmatic.

You try to let the music inspire you. This is a look you’ve never done before, so you’re finding it a bit difficult to get into it despite Jungkook's helpful prompts and suggestions. But you flow a bit better with it as time goes on and you become more comfortable.

An idea pops up out of nowhere and you have him do a close up from the middle of your chin to the middle of your forehead. You stare straight into the lens to really showcase the purple contacts and makeup.

“This’s the one for sure,” he says, taking a few more. “Great idea, why didn’t I think of a close up in the first place?” You know he's talking to himself at this point. 

It’s close to 6:15pm when Jungkook decides he has enough pictures for this look. You don’t mind the longer shoot seeing as you set aside the day for this, and you can’t wait to see how these ones turn out in particular.  

You’re halfway through getting the face paint off, a mountain of gray stained cotton pads beside you, when Jungkook turns the music down.

“Let’s do a light, early dinner and then shoot the last one?” he asks. “I kept this one at the end because it’s going to create the most mess and it’ll be nice to have dinner out of the way for when I have to clean up.”

“More mess than this?” you point to the cotton pad mountain.

“Much more.”

“Light, early dinner it is,” you confirm, not wanting to have to wait till late to eat. “But can we order out so I have time to get the rest of this off?”

“Sure, what’ll it be?”

Clean faced, moisturized and ramyeon filled, you and Jungkook are preparing for the last shoot. Or well, lightly arguing.

“Water?”

“Mhm.”

“On me?”

“Yep.”

“From that thing,” you point to the contraption he calls a c-stand that will be holding the very full, very large watering can over your head for an extended amount of time, “And into there?” you point again to the kitty pool on top of the tarp that’s underneath the watering can c-stand. 

“That is the plan,” he looks amused at your slight distress.

“Are you nuts? What if it falls on me? How do I know it won’t unhinge and I’ll have a nicely cracked open skull to explain to my mother on Solstice break?”

“It won’t fall and you know it won't because you trust me and trust I wouldn’t put you in unnecessary danger. But if it does, tell your mom I say hi and sorry.”

You scoff at him, unbelievable. “So you admit there’s a bit of danger!”

Jungkook sighs, and looks to the ceiling. “Yes, YN. There is a touch of danger. But that’s only if, somehow, the c-stand I have triple safety checked, duct taped twice, and quadruple secured with four fifteen pound sandbags, decides that you deserve a watering can to the head.”

You side eye his tone. This wasn’t an unrealistic worry. But you do trust him. And trust he would never intentionally put you in any danger.

The trees are set up near the backdrop that looks like a row of brick houses. The shot is supposed to be ‘The Calm after Before the Storm,’ where you look relieved and happy in an ‘outside’ setting while ‘rain’ falls over you, also in black and white.

“Fine, but if I hear one peep from that thing,” c-stand staring down the tip of your finger once more, “I’m tuck and rolling and taking you out while I do it.”

“Very fair!” he says relieved, and goes to set up the stand with the watering can. 

You’d changed into the neutral V neck after dinner, and he’s asked for no makeup. So all you have to do now is stand and pose while trying not to die from foreign objects falling from the sky while you get wet.

Easy, right?

Wrong.

It is incredibly difficult, and you’re glad he made this one last because you’re at best; slightly miserable. Only the promise of a hot shower, hot chocolate with whip cream and marshmallows and your pick of whatever you watch afterward is keeping you going.

You started this one just shy of 8pm after waiting 45 minutes for the food. And it’s nearing 9:30 now. Jungkook has had to refill the watering can four times, dump the kiddie pool twice,  and you swear if you don’t finish within the next twenty minutes, you’re going to collapse from shivering.

To be fair, he does fill the watering can with warm water, but it only stays warm for so long before freezing water is pouring on you for the millionth time tonight. 

“I have one last idea, and by the way, I’m never doing this concept again so don’t worry about that, but also… don’t shut down the idea immediately okay?” Jungkook says. 

The watering can is almost empty again and you’re relieved that your time is almost up. That in itself should make for a good picture. He snaps it.

But his tone makes you a little wary, “Okay… what is it?”

“Pretend I’m Nel and you’re seeing me for the first time in six months, like you do at the end of April.”

Well, you didn’t have that down on your photo shoot prompt bingo card. 

Are you okay with the idea? You aren’t sure, but aren’t not sure either.

“I mean, I’ll try. Maybe you could give vocal cues to try and help? But don’t make it weird.”

“I won’t, promise,” Jungkook pauses for a second before adding, “Does he call you baby?”

You nod, and you distantly hear and ‘okay’ as you slowly allow yourself to get into that headspace.

You start, and the camera starts going.

You’re in the airport, waiting for Nel, ‘smoosh’ paper in hand. The gate opens, and through all the other passengers you see him, see that he’s in one piece, see that he’s safe. 

Your face illuminates with relief at that so much so that you don’t even notice the water that starts running down your face. 

You hear a ‘hi baby’ and in your head, it’s coming from Nel’s mouth as he nears you. You smile impossibly wider at the thought of seeing him, feeling him. Having him here with you. 

You look happy to see me, ‘Nel’ says.

“I am,” you reply. 

There’s repetitive clicking in the distance, but you ignore it. It’s probably just a flight attendant's heels on the floor.

“I missed you.”

There’s a long moment of silence before Nel speaks again.

I missed you too, baby.

You’re shivering hard now, lost in thought, unaware of reality. 

YN, Nel calls.

“Yes, love?”

“YN.”

“Babe, what is it?”

“YN, hey,” you're being shaken gently.

“Hmm? What?” you slowly arrive back to the present. Strong hands grip your shoulders. They feel nice. Solid. Deliciously warm. 

A very concerned looking Jungkook comes into focus, camera dangling around his neck and reaching for you.

Oh.

He’s the one holding your shoulders, trying to get you to come back to reality.

“There she is, welcome back,” he lets go and grabs a blanket from somewhere and wraps it around you. “We got the shot, go take a shower and warm up okay?”

“Okay,” you say, still a little dazed, but present enough to function.

You step out of the pool, holding on to the hand Jungkook offers to balance—Warm. Solid. Strong—and head straight for the bathroom, making a pit stop in the guest room to grab your bag with fresh clothes. 

The hot water cements your place back in reality, letting it warm you up and cleanse you of the day. 

You have no idea what just happened with that whole Nel thing, but it was a new feeling and a new headspace and you really aren’t in the mood to analyze or acknowledge, so it’s shoved onto a top shelf in the back of your mind for a later date.  

Once you're able to return to the directory of your mind, you don’t know how long you’ve been in the shower. But you know you’re clean, no longer cold, and in the mood for hot chocolate, so you step out and dry yourself with the towels Jungkook laid out for you on the toilet seat.

They’re soft. So soft in fact you consider only for a second shoving one in your now less full bag to take home with you. However, you do rather enjoy your friendship with the prince, so you think better of it upon second thought. 

Dressing in your sweats, you exit, tossing the towels in the hamper and your bag of the clothes you arrived in back into the spare room.

“Better?” Jungkook asks as you sit down in your spot on the couch for the last time tonight, wrapping up in the blanket he left for you. He’s in the kitchen but heard you coming.

“Much, thanks,” you sniff, “Is that hot chocolate I smell?”

Jungkook returns from the kitchen, two mugs in hand. “With extra whip cream and marshmallows, as ordered.”

You carefully take it from him, giving your thanks and happily slurping away the second it’s in your grasp. 

“Alright Caravaggio, what are we watching?” he asks, sitting down on his side, sipping away on his own. 

Sometime between you leaving for the shower and coming back out Jungkook changed into his own comfy attire, and tidied up the studio space as the pool and tarp are nowhere to be seen.

“I’ve thought really hard about this, all of however long I was in the shower,” Jungkook mutters something about 35 minutes; you ignore him, “And have settled on ‘A Miser Brothers Solstice’.”

He whines just a little when he says, “But it’s November.”

“So?”

“So, Solstice isn’t until the third week of December,” he’s saying this like his point is the most obvious thing in the world. 

It’s not.

“Your point?”

“That it’s November, and you want to watch a Solstice movie.”

You’re mockingly outraged.

“Who made you town grinch? I didn’t realize we had a holiday hater in our midst.” 

You loved the holidays, all the big ones, and the small ones, but Solstice was special. 

“I’m not a grinch, I’m just not there yet, mentally.”

“Then get ready to dive in head first, because you said I could pick the movie for risking my life for you and I pick ‘A Miser Brothers Solstice’.”

Jungkook doesn’t argue further, but he does roll his eyes as he puts on your movie with a small smile hidden behind his drink.

It’s sometime during the first act, you’re lying back against your corner of the couch, feet up and under the blanket when you ask, “What are your solstice break plans?” 

Jungkook takes a moment to part from the TV, very invested for someone who was so against it half an hour ago. “I have a lot of ‘princely duties’ to do for Solstice, like standing and looking thoughtful while my dad gives his annual Solstice speech,” you snort. “Then there’s the palace dinner, the parade through the capital, and the live televised event,” he says in a tv announcer's voice, “Where my family and I light the Solstice Star. And then there’s the new year and that in itself has another long list of things I have to do. Besides things like that though? Not much, and then it’s back here.”

Right.

You often forget who he is. 

That behind those kind eyes, and small smiles, behind the greenhouse study dates, and movie nights, and photoshoots, Jungkook has an enormous responsibility constantly looming over his head, counting down the days until he finishes his schooling. One that’s just waiting to drop onto his shoulders forever. 

You often forget that Jungkook is the Prince, first in line to the biggest throne in the realm. That you spend your time with not only Jeon Jungkook, friend and photography student, but also, His Royal Highness, Prince Jeon Jungkook, Heir Apparent and Future King of The Western Shores.

He just makes it so damn easy to forget.

You only asked because you thought maybe he had plans with friends or family, completely forgetting about all of the things the royal family does during the holiday season to celebrate with the nation, their people, and now you feel like an ass for even bringing it up.

But there’s something in his answer, or lack thereof, that snags your attention. 

“What about celebrating with your family and friends in private?”

“No time,” Jungkook’s stare goes distant as he brings his knees up and puts his arms around them, resting his chin. “Friends are always busy with palace preparations and dad’s not really the sentimental type. We celebrated when I was younger; big family breakfast, presents, tree decorating, whole thing. But after I turned about 13 or so, it started dwindling pretty quickly. Now it’s just me and my mom exchanging a gift with each other at midnight under the palace tree.” 

You don’t think you’ve ever heard something so heartbreaking yet beautiful in your life. 

“Your mum sounds wonderful, I’m really happy you two get that time together.” 

He looks at you, and you can tell by the look in his eyes he loves that time with her more than anything else. 

Solstice is supposed to be the time you spend with your family, blood or chosen. The time where you all gather to cook and bake, and exchange thoughtful gifts with the ones you love. The time where you truly cherish one another and count yourself lucky for all that you have. 

Solstice is your favourite time of the year.

To not spend it like that just seems…wrong. Horribly, painfully, awfully wrong.

“What about you?” he asks.

You don’t want to make him feel bad, so you tone down your answer, taking away the meat and giving the bones.

“My mum and I cut down our own tree and decorate it with the ornaments we’ve collected over the years,” you have them from every place you’ve ever visited, and your mum kept all the ones you ever made as a kid. You even get a new one every solstice to take a picture for and label with the year.  

“Then we bake solstice cookies until our hands cramp and survive off only them until solstice dinner; a turkey, honey glazed carrots, mashed potatoes with gravy, essentially if it waters your mouth, it’s there,” he chuckles at that. “We do gifts for each other too, opening them on solstice morning before making hot drinks and reading in the breakfast nook until the sun sets or till we get hungry, whichever comes first.”

Jungkook's eyes glow, radiating warmth, a lazy smile on his face as he listens to you. 

“That sounds really nice, YN.”

“It is,” you reply, looking him in those radiant eyes as you do. He looks… happy. Happy for you, that you get to have something like this that’s so special. It breaks your heart a little…maybe you can help.

“You wanna make some solstice cookies with me before break?”

His look of happy shifts to one of slight panic.

“What?” you question, and comically ask, “Have you never made solstice cookies before?”

He hesitates before answering a very quiet, “Uh…N-no.”

Your shock must be incredibly evident in the way he almost flinches at your reaction.

So you try your best to keep your voice level when you ask, “What do you mean, no?”

“I mean no. I’ve never made solstice cookies.”

That’s it. You can’t hold back any more, you’ve never heard anything so blasphemous in all your life.

“You’ve never what?  How is that even possible?”

He shrinks into himself a little more.

“The palace pastry chef always makes them because that’s kind of his job,” you stare at him in disbelief. “Is this really that big a deal?”

You swear there’s cog’s and smoke flying out of your ears. Solstice cookies are a religion in your household. You know dozens of recipes by heart, always finding a new one each year to try and up your game. You cannot imagine a solstice without making them. Wait no, actually you can, but it would be because you’re dead.

You held back in your answer earlier, for his sake, but you and your mom’s hands cramp up because you make enough cookies to give a box to everyone in the neighborhood. It’s one of your favourite traditions, and your neighbours even look forward to it every year, going so far as sending you both recipes to try out.

“Big dea—you’ve never fucking mad—not even when you were little? No one brought you to the kitchen and let you help? Aren't all your friends back home the pastry chefs' kids or something?” You don’t mean to sound harsh, but your tone is a little more passionate than you were intending. 

But Jungkook knows you, knows you occasionally get that passionate about things, and takes your outburst in stride. 

“Yeah, one of them is, but we don't sit around the oven and make cookies all break long. And his dad is always too busy to teach us even if we wanted to.”

You decide something. Right then and there.

“This year you are.”

“What?”

“Mark your last Saturday off because I'm going to show up here, ingredients-a-plenty and teach you how to make solstice cookies. I have a million recipes up here,” you tap your head with a finger, “But I'll choose the easiest ones. And I’ll come over early so we can spend the day making all of them. I can’t in good conscience leave for the break knowing you’ve never made them.”

He sighs. “Do I have any say in the matter?”

“Absolutely not.”

Jungkook stares at you and you can’t figure out what he’s thinking. You’re worried he’s going to say no anyway. To say you’re crazy and that they’re just cookies and that he has more important things he has to do on his Saturday before leaving for home.

But he doesn’t. And you should’ve known he wouldn’t, not after all the time you’ve spent together. 

You know better. Know him better.

“Alright Picasso. Sounds like a plan. I’m looking forward to it,” he decides, and goes back to watching the movie. 

It’s the first time he’s ever repeated a nickname.

“Wait! The wind guy wants to replace who?!” Jungkook shouts. 

You laugh at his confusion, and rewind the movie.

Jungkook wakes up sore.

His back is killing him, which makes sense since he’s half lying on the couch, half on the ground. 

The TV’s silently playing some slideshow of movie recommendations based on recent watches. 

He checks his phone, reaching for it on the coffee tale. 

14% battery. 

4:07am. 

Shit, he fell asleep. 

After the solstice movie he wanted to watch its predecessor. You had no qualms and so on it went, but he doesn’t remember much after the brothers started fighting.

Hearing soft, even breathing next to him he turns to see you, hunched over in your spot asleep, no doubt in the process of ruining your own back.

He should go to bed.

You should go to bed. 

But you’ve never stayed the night.

What should he do? Should he wake you? 

But you look so peaceful. And it’s nearing exams. You barely sleep when it’s exams season. 

Instead, Jungkook goes to check the guest room, but it’s a mess with yesterday's comings and goings. Make-up and clothes and hangers strewn everywhere.

Quietly, making a decision he hopes you won’t kill him for in the morning, he pads back to your sleeping form. 

It’s for your back, he tells himself. No other reason.

Deja vu sets in as he scoops you up from the couch, blanket and all. Just like last time, you gain enough consciousness to know to wrap your arms around his neck, but not enough to wake up. Your head rests on his shoulder and he selfishly savours the feeling as he walks down the short hallway to his room.  

Jungkook sets you down gently on one side of the bed, and your arms release, slumber undisturbed as he tucks you in.

He goes back to the living room to retrieve your phones. Yours is still at 56%, and he places it on the table beside you when he returns.

Climbing into his side of the bed, he’s careful not to touch you.

Though he wants to. 

Desperately. 

His sleep deprived brain is too slow to block out the thoughts that start to race. Thoughts of how he wants to turn around and pull you into his chest, slide an arm around your waist, and kiss you goodnight. How he wants to wake up in the same position, you still in his arms. 

But he’s also awake enough to know that will never happen. That you’re with Nel, and happy with him. That he’s drawn that nice, big line.

He’s awake enough to know you being in his bed is a fluke, unintentional.

A one time thing.

Plugging his phone into its charger, he sets it down on his own bedside table and pulls the covers up, falling back asleep.

His back facing you. 

An exhale wakes you.

Warm and cozy, you take a deep breath and roll to your left side, stretching on the way over. The scents of clean linen and something familiar find you. It’s comforting, that smell, but you can’t place it.

Another exhale, but this time you feel it as well as hear it.

You open your eyes to see a sleeping Jungkook face not a foot from your own and you jolt in shock, falling off the bed in the process. 

You look up from your new seat on the floor, ignoring the pain in your side from landing, and peer over the covers to check on Jungkook, who, miraculously, hasn’t woken up from your tumble. 

Relieved, your mind focuses on more pressing questions like ‘how did you get here?’ And ‘why were you in his bed?’ 

The last thing you remember was being halfway through the prequel to A Miser Brothers Solstice on the couch, watching Jungkook more than the movie because of how invested he’d become in the story. 

But you aren’t on the couch now. You were in his bed. 

The bed of the Prince of the Western Shores. 

The Prince who has a girlfriend, and you, who has a very long term, very serious boyfriend.

You hear a vibration, and following the sound, you find your phone on the bedside table. 

You quickly grab it quickly and go to the living room as quietly as you can manage. 

There’s a large number of unread texts. 

SlurryYuri [11:08pm]: hey, just checking in. You didn’t get home when you said you’d try for SlurryYuri [11:31pm]: Helloooooooo? YN? You there? SlurryYuri [12:14am]: it’s getting late YN, when are you coming home? Are you on your way?

Missed Calls: (3)

SlurryYuri [2:43am]: it’s been hours, so you better be dead or have crashed in the school somewhere. Either way I’m kicking your ass when you get home

Missed Calls: (2)

(Recent)

SlurryYuri [9:36am]: you’re still not home?? YN seriously, where are you SlurryYuri [10:23am]: If you don’t message me back in an hour I’m calling the police and filing a missing persons

Shit. 

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. You crashed hard, the shoot must have taken more out of you than you thought, so you never texted Yuri you were going to crash in a sleep pod at school like you’d planned too. 

You make quick work of messaging her back, glad she unintentionally gave you just the excuse you needed. 

YN [10:25am]: ohmygod I’m soooooo sorry, it was the school one. I fell asleep in the school. I’m sorry for worrying you. I’ll be home soon, promise. I’m just going to grab breakfast first. Again im sorry

SlurryYuri [10:27am]: thank the gods youre okay!! Don’t ever do that to me again YN! I don’t wanna be the one who has to break news to your mom!! She’s too nice.  SlurryYuri [10:27am]: and take your time getting back if your rushing for me, I’m not at the dorm SlurryYuri [10:27am]: Tai showed up yesterday out of the blue and took me dancing. We’re out getting brunch right now, and he has plans for the rest of the day SlurryYuri [10:28am]: Im just glad you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere

YN [10:29am]: me too, and okay I will. Thanks for checking up on me and making sure im safe, youre my favourite

SlurryYuri [10:30am]: damn right I am, see you tn <3

YN [10:30am]: see you <3

You exhale deeply, that was fucking close. 

Your stomach rumbles and it reminds you that you actually need to get breakfast. 

What could you have? You could order in again, but that means a wait time and you are hungry now. You could raid Jungkook's pantry, or see if he has any fruit, but then you think that’s a gross invasion of privacy when it’s not movie night and you haven’t asked if it’s okay. 

Wait.

The egg tarts!

You dash to the fridge, the marvellous sight of a greenhouse inside a coffee mug comes into view. Stuffing one down before you even get the box from the fridge, you exit the kitchen, sit down on the couch, setting the box on the coffee table. Once opened in front of you, you realize there is a healthy amount of tarts inside. 

How many did Jungkook ask for?

Speaking of, a bed-headed, yawning Jungkook makes his morning debut, still in last night's clothes.

“Hey,” he says groggily, walking over and stealing a tart.

“Hey!” you say back, not nearly as friendly. 

“Overnight tax, Picasso. Room isn’t free.” He chuckles at your faux outrage, popping half the tart in his mouth as he walks to the kitchen and grabs something from the fridge. Returning, you see it’s a morning protein shake. 

Gross. 

“So is that name the one you’re sticking to now?” you ask, picking up another tart. At this rate they won’t last until lunch.

“Yeah, that okay with you? It’s your name in my phone after all.”

“It is?” You didn’t know that.

“Yeah, has been since the start.” 

You’re quickly learning that sleepy morning Jungkook is very different from morning post work-out Jungkook, friend Jungkook and photographer Jungkook. His voice is deeper, he’s a lot more relaxed, and maybe even harmlessly borderline flirty, like he’s not all there yet. Softer. 

“Picasso’s just fine. A compliment really.”

“Oh? And what am I in your’s then? Hopefully something just as nice?”

You tell him like it is.

“PJK.”

“PJK?” he asks, incredulous.

“Yeah? It’s obscure enough to not be recognizable if someone were to see it, but enough for me to know who it is.”

“Nah, you need something better, PJK is boring.”

“It’s your initials.”

“And boring,” he’s really not letting up on this. 

“Well...what would you save yourself as?”

He mulls it over for a minute before deflating. “Okay, fair point, but I seriously want a new one. Something that can rival Picasso.”

“Do you have any nicknames? Something not completely obvious?”

For a morning person, Jungkook sure is taking his time. Maybe he was only a morning person before 8am, and then if he got up anytime after that he became a normal person who despised mornings like everyone else.

“Uhh…Vivian calls me JK, but that’s essentially the same thing as PJK. My buddies back home sometimes call me Kook, but I don’t think that works either. My mum has one for me that I will not disclose to anyone so long as I am breathing. So I guess not.”

A lightbulb dings over your head. “What about your security? Don’t they have special code names for you when they detail you? Like bear or eagle?” 

“Yeah, but it’s not nearly as badass as either of those.”

“Fess up,” you say. Now you have to know.

“Hare.”

“Hare?” Now it’s your turn to be incredulous. “Like a rabbit?”

“Yep.”

An idea pops into your head and an evil grin spreads across your face, one you know is already setting worry into Jungkook’s still awakening brain as you change his name.

“I don’t like that look,” he confirms. “What’d you change it to?”

You flip your phone around and hold it up to him.

“Bunny?” he says incredulously once again.

“Yes.”

“I give you Picasso, one of the greatest painters of all time, and you think giving me bunny is anywhere near on par with that?”

Teasing him is far too fun, especially when he makes it this easy for you.

“Oh absolutely. In fact, I think it’s the best name I could possibly set it as.”

Jungkook disagrees, vehemently. “No, change it back. PJK is fine.”

“Too late. You dug your grave, now lie in it.”

Jungkook brings a hand to his face, pinching the crease between his brows and takes a very long, deep breath, exhaling just as dramatically. 

You take that as your victory. But you’re sorely mistaken.

He launches at you, reaching for your phone and you scream, reaching your arm to keep it away from him. You have a fox socked foot on his chest to try and keep him back. His right arm is holding him up near your hip on the couches edge and he’s reaching with his left as far as he can without breaking his sternum on your heel. 

“Give it!”

“Never!”

You try to bring up your other foot to push him away, but Jungkook is strong, and forces both it and the one on his chest down with the arm that was supporting him, temporarily keeping himself up with his left hand on the back of the couch. 

With your legs out of the way he can almost reach his phone. But in his distracted state, misses the couch when he goes to put his supporting arm down again, and flips onto the ground, taking you with him. You scream, but his arms wrap around you as he makes sure to take the brunt of the impact, landing on his back, you safely secured to his chest. 

There’s a moment of pure stunned silence, you resting your forhead on his chest while you process, him not letting go of your waist as he gets a breath into his winded self, before you’re both laughing as you take in what happened.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, you?”

He takes a second to respond. “I’m great.” 

You push to sit up, and he releases you from his hold, but that was a mistake. Because now you’re sitting on his lap. 

It takes an entire three seconds of you staring at him and him staring right back before you jump and scramble off him as fast as you can. 

“Sorry.” you say in unison, you standing and him from the ground. It’s a painfully awkward 8 seconds before you break, cackling at the whole situation, and he joins in with you again. 

Jungkook brushes off his pants as he gets up too. “Got any plans before tonight,” he asks, business as usual.

“Nope, cleared my schedule in case this went long, I’ve got the whole day.”

You swear his smile grows two sizes.

“Well in that case,” he looks to the TV, then back to you, “Wanna start movie night early?”

An entire day to relax and chill out before the hell that is exams season takes your every free second? 

Yes please.

“Solstice movie marathon?” you propose slyly, near devious.

“I’ll get the popcorn,” he confirms, already halfway to the kitchen.

You spend the day like that, on the couch watching movie after movie, both pretending the little incident never even happened. 

But you make sure to go home after movie night this time. 

Chapter Nine: TBR

A/N 2: This chapter kicked my ass but it's here and I couldn't be more thrilled. I really like how it's ended so I hope you guys do too.

A/N 3: As always, Thank you for reading, loves. Xoxo - Yoon <3

<- Back

[vevobly]

Yellowjackets Reactions To Clingy Reader!

Jackie Taylor:

Jackie would be flattered at first, just absolutely enjoying the attention you're giving her and basking in the idea that someone values her that much. She'd just casually lean into it, and be all playful with you.

“Wow, you really missed me even though I was only gone for five minutes?”

But if your clinginess ever became too much, she'd lowkey try creating space from you; using excuses like needing to focus on something else. She wouldn't want to hurt your feelings and would try hard to soften any pushback with reassurance.

“You're sweet, really. Just, like, give me a little room to breathe, okay?”

Shauna Shipman:

Shauna would be a little awkward about it, unsure how to handle someone being so attached to her. But she'd tolerate it to an extent, especially if it seemed like genuine affection to her; making jokes about it eventually and easing tension.

“You really don't have to follow me everywhere, you know”

She'd say that with a small laugh. Despite her discomfort, she wouldn't be that harsh. And if you just happened to be one of the lucky people, she might secretly find it endearing that someone values her that much.

Taissa Turner:

Taissa would definetely take it in stride, appreciating you being loyal and close to her that way. She's naturally protective, so she might view your clinginess in a way as you trusting and feeling safe around her.

However, if it started interfering with her personal space or responsibilities, Tai would address it immediately and directly but kindly with you. She'd be firm, and understanding!

“Hey, I love hanging out with you, but I need to focus on this right now, okay? We can catch up later.”

Van Palmer:

Van would be amused by your clinginess, she wouldn't take it too serious and would probably even tease you with a grin about it every once in a while. She wouldn't mind the extra attention as long as it isn't constant.

“Wow, didn't know I was that amazing”

She'd probably find it cute that someone cares that much. But if it ever became too much? she'd probably nudge you gently toward independence like a mother would with her own clingy child.

“You know, I'm not going anywhere. You can chill for a bit.”

Natalie Scatorrcio:

Natalie definitely might have been caught off guard by your clinginess at first because she's not used to people being so openly attached to her that way, but she would just brush it off.

Over time, she would eventually warm up to it, seeing it as your way of showing affection to her. Of course, if it ever crossed a line, Nat would be straightforward about it with you. It'll be short and cool.

“Hey, I need some space right now, okay? Nothing personal.”

Lottie Matthews:

Lottie would handle your clinginess with an odd calmness and grace. Similarly to Tai, she'd see this as a sign of you trusting and valuing her. This would mean a lot to her despite what you think, and she'd hold it on a very high careful pedestal.

Lottie might even encourage your clinginess to some degree, just offering reassurance whenever you seem worried or needy. But if it starts to overwhelm her, expect her to guide you on being more self-reliant and practicing boundaries!

“It's okay, I'm here.”

Laura Lee:

Laura Lee would see your clinginess as a sign of you seeing her as someone comforting, which she'd take as a compliment. She'd be patient and kind with you, being very understanding and even encouraging a bit.

If it started becoming too much, she's addressing it like a therapist would with their patient. She'll suggest much "healthier" ways to spend time together without you being overly attached to her.

“I'm glad you feel comfortable with me, but..”

Misty Quigley:

Misty would absolutely just love your clinginess. Considering she thrives on attention and validation, having you attached to her makes her feel pretty special and valued.

“Oh, you don't have to apologize for wanting to be around me all the time!”

Out of all the girls, she would be the one to encourage it fully more. But her enthusiasm might turn possessive if she even slightly felt like you weren't as clingy to her anymore. So, expect the girl to work harder to keep your attention on her!

[dawnoftime22]

can i get a fluffy taylor request where reader(who is in a established relationship with tay) is bipolar and like- they are starting to hit a depressive phase? its not too bad or serious they're just numb and sleeping a lot and needing comfort and support? its fine if not. just know you're loved, take care of yourself

just be here.

| T.S

Warnings: Numbness / dissociation, R being stuck in bed and sleeping a lot, feeling guilt / small anxiety, more non verbal reassurances than verbal, shower scene with tay; sweet details only

Summary: As an empty day hits you, you end up with lots of sleep, and no productive things done. Taylor gets concerned, but takes loving care of you, with kisses and reassuring touches.

Word Count: 5.8k

Category: fluff, comfort, hurt/comfort (at the beginning if you squint?)

A/N: this isn't really a work of mine I'd say I like because it feels like a mess, but its the best I can do :') starting is a little slow, but it dives into the full comfort in the midday cut if you only want to read that<3

Request A/N: hey, if you're going through this, I understand. just know it won't last forever. I've gotten out of it just recently, it just takes time and care. sit and enjoy the little things for now :] I don't know much about bipolar disorder, but I am familiar with what you described, so this is mostly focused on that part<3 thank you so much for requesting with your lovely words! you're just as loved, if not, more!!

| Started on 08/11/2024, 10:32 AM |

| Finished on 12/11/2024, 12:13 AM |

Main Masterlist | T.S Masterlist

Request Guidelines | Part Two, 'look after you.'

“I'll hold your hand through it.”

|——————————— ⸆⸉ ———————————|

The windows only had a dark blue color. Where the curtains were once covering the view of the dusk sky, they had been draped aside by gentle hands.

It was warm, and perfectly cold at the same time. You could feel the covers cozily upon your body. There was some more time to relish it in, right?

Your vision had caught only a glimpse of the blonde, going into the bathroom for perhaps a shower, just before you let yourself surrender to the void of darkness, once more.

When you woke up again, you realize the brighter light shining through the window, white and gleaming instead of the blue dusk color, and you knew what had happened.

You had slept in the day, once again.

A sigh leaves your lips and you reach for your phone by the nightstand, checking the time. It was 9:30 in the morning, where any minutes later, it would have been double digits on the screen.

You slumped into the mattress, your cheek getting squished against the pillow. That was it, your morning routine had fallen down.

There was nearly enough time for you to set your phone back down and close your eyes again, just to avoid even dealing with it all. Nearly. At least, until a gentlefamiliar voice sounds out from behind you.

"Hey, sweetheart," Taylor softly calls from the doorway, her hand going to rest on the doorframe after making her way from the kitchen. She could just barely see you, holding your phone rather than having your arms curled up as earlier, when you were sleeping.

"You're up?" she continued, tilting her head, but her voice questioned her own observations. It wasn't until you soon turned to face her that she could see you were awake. You shifted groggily, staying under the covers and pulling it up to keep yourself warm.

She smiles softly at you as her heart swells, her eyes traveling your sleepy face. You let out a slow breath, blinking drowzily at her, but soon, Taylor gently pushes herself off the doorframe, making her way to you.

"I didn't have the heart to wake you baby, you looked so adorably peaceful," she murmurs, going to crawl into bed to join you. She lays down beside you, gently pulling you closer to snuggle.

"...and cuddly," she adds, getting under the covers too, because it was getting cold, even with just the ceiling fan on.

You stretched your legs under the blanket with your body, eyes closed to then go into her embrace, burying your face into her chest.

Her hand comes into contact with your hair, fingers going through your strands soothingly. She gazes at you, noticing your quietness.

"I made us some breakfast," she whispered, staying in the cuddle for a little while before she shifts her position, her elbow resting on the pillow to prop herself up in a sitting position.

It was quiet for a moment, the fan humming gently in the silence. You wanted to respond, but it felt too early in the morning to even speak.

Taylor didn't mind though. She gently smooths your hair back, her hands being gentle with affection. "Theres eggs and bacon...some cut up apples..." she says slowly, pausing her movement. She could feel you burying your face further into her chest.

"I would ask if you wanna shower first...but the food would go cold," she adds, continuing the motion in your hair and leaning down to lay a soft kiss to your head.

She was about to think that you had fallen asleep, but then she sees you peeking your face out slightly, your cheek against her chest now.

Her lips raise up into the softest smile at the sight of you. "...Ready to get up yet?" she murmurs, seeing the way you haven't moved at all, other than your little head turn.

A yawn passes by your lips, but you let out the quietest protest of an elongated hum, nuzzling back into her. Definitely not because of a shower, and especially not because of the food your lovely girlfriend's told you she's made, but to getting out of bed.

"You're so comfy, huh?" She chuckles, seeing your pout, although there was a slight difference upon it that tugged at her curiosities.

She shifts slightly, trying to move and get up a little more. "Just a few minutes baby...then we can be all warm again, okay?" she says gently.

You melted into her, slumping further into her embrace and nearly holding on. Her eyes soften sympathetically at your stubbornness, but eventually saw the smallest, little nod.

She took that as a sign to get up, and she felt relief flow through her. Although she would have carried you out from bed anyway. Slowly, she untangles herself from you, moving to help you sit up.

She keeps her eyes on you as the both of you got out of bed. Standing up was groggy, but you managed it with her beside you, eventually making your way out the bedroom.

Her cats were hanging around, Olivia by the kitchen, eating out her cat bowl, finishing her food. The other two bowls were empty, Benjamin laying on the carpet while Meredith was probably somewhere in the music room instead of the living area.

You got to the dining table, seeing the plates had your breakfast all ready. The chair gently scrapes the floor, and you sat down, while Taylor went to pour some orange juice into some glasses— one for you and one for her.

When she comes back, you shifted in your seat to get comfortable, then picked up your fork, starting with the apple slices. She places your drinks on the table before she sat down herself.

You took a bite of a slice, and put the rest on your plate. She smiles softly, content in the moment. Her hand reaches out to grasp her drink, taking a sip and relishing the taste, then looking at you after she put it back down.

She watches for a bit, her eyebrows furrowing slightly. "You're quiet..." she whispers softly, the words slipping out faster than her mind can reach. She noticed the way your eyes went to her instantly, flickering with a milisecond of emotion.

"I'm sorry, its just..." you whisper, having had no intention to make her feel like you were treating her any differently. Or, anything. It might've been the only thing that could make your heart feel like sinking for the present moment.

"I don't have anything on my mind right now..." you mumble, staring down to your plate, pausing your eating. Taylor shook her head gently, quickly taking back her words.

"No, I don't mean it like that," she whispers. Her shoulders fell ever so slightly in regret, and a frown was on her face at how your mind jumped straight to thinking she meant it in a bad way.

She reaches out to gently grasp your hand, assuring you softly. "I don't mind it when you're quiet." Her eyes search yours, finding there to be a certain blankness within.

"I'm just...concerned, baby," she adds, worry growing into her heart. She gives your hand a gentle squeeze, starting to feel that something was off.

She then takes in a breath. "...You know, Olivia was in space yesterday," Taylor says suddenly, gently cutting the quietness and returning her hand back to herself. You missed the embrace of her warmth already, but you didn't say anything.

You blink at the sentence though, wondering if she thought of it due to you zoning out, or if it was just the first thing she thought of to say next.

"What?" you whisper under your breath, looking at her. She returns your gaze, hers softening instead of being fully concerned.

A chuckle leaves her raised lips. "Yeah, looking like shes flying through space. I mean, I took some photos if you wanna see..." she murmurs, grabbing her phone from the table, just beside her plate, flipping it to the front to unlock her screen.

You wait patiently, a setting your fork down to lean against the dining table, watching as she goes to her photos to find it.

She stifles a giggle when she did, then turned her phone to show you it.

Your eyes widened, and a smile, for once, rose up from your lips, joined in with a giggle. "Tay..." you whisper, all while she was laughing off her heart.

"Amazing, right? Like...that one rainbow cat. The nyan...nyan cat?" she adds, grinning widely at you. Your giggles turned into a laugh as you nod, agreeing with her reference.

Her heart swells at your joyous sounds, finally getting at least a single full smile out of you in success.

When you both soon finished up breakfast with some passing time, you had stood up, taking the plates to the sink to start cleaning them.

Taylor was finishing off her drink before she steps off to you and leans over to put the glass in the sink.

She then gently wraps her arms around your waist from behind, giving a small, gentle kiss to your shoulder before resting her chin atop it.

Your heart warmed at the sweet gesture. Her eyes watch you put the soap on the plates, cleaning off the grime and dust.

"...How about a warm shower later?" she whispers softly, her voice near your ear, her warm breath nearly tickling your skin.

You thought about it for a moment, then gave way to a gentle, "Yeah...sure." Taylor was smiling softly, resting her cheek then to the back of your shoulder.

You turn your body slightly, pausing the washing to give her a gentle kiss. Her smile grew wider, and she met you halfway in a tender gesture.

The shower later was warm, a slow, affectionate atmosphere. It kind of left you feeling unreal, like you weren't even in your current reality.

As Taylor gently puts the shower gel on your skin, you were spaced out, off onto the shower wall. You had already helped her clean, and now she was returning the gesture, which usually you would be adoring her features as she focused, but your mind was off, and it couldn't at the moment.

She notices your expression, unbothered, but not enough to count as nonchalant. You felt like you were a car, always set to neutral mode all the time, and the world seemed gray along with your feelings, aside from Taylor, being sweet with her love and radiating the golden sun's warmth.

Her hand carefully roams your skin, fingertips brushing by every part of you as the running shower's sound echoes through the bathroom.

Taylor then leans in to give your cheek a kiss, as soft as the warm steam going up. "You okay, sweetheart?" she whispers softly.

Your eyes travel to her, catching smoothly with ease. "...Yeah..." you whispered back, trying to give her a small smile, but even she could see through it, see the slightest hint of a stoic look in your expression.

Her lips turn to the smallest of frowns, but she gives you another kiss, this time on your shoulder once the shower gel was rinsed off, her eyes going down to focus back to cleaning your body. "Okay..."

When she finishes up rinsing off the last of the shower gel on your body, then letting you both soak in a bit longer in the warmth, she soon turns off the shower, the water no longer felt cascading down your body.

You reach for the towel, drying yourself off before stepping out the shower with the towel around you. Taylor did the same, following you, and slipping her hand to yours, intertwining your fingers before you go to the bedroom.

You get your clothes on, after the tensing of the cold air. As you adjusted the hem of your shirt to fit completely so it wasn't bundled up, Taylor came up behind you, since you were standing facing the bed.

Her finger comes up, giving a gentle tap to your shoulder. The touch was light, but it got your attention enough to turn around.

She held up one of her hoodies, which was her lover hoodie that she loved wearing often, now offering it to you for today.

Your expressions softened, and you nod, letting her help you slip it on, getting your head up the neckline and pulling the sleeves on your arms.

She smiles once she was done, stepping back with a proudness in her heart of you in her hoodie. It was a usual sight, but it never failed to reach her precious heart.

The smallest hint of a pink tint came up in your cheeks, and Taylor went to sit down at the edge of the bed, still looking at you.

You go to get in bed, but going to the pillows, laying down and pulling the covers back up your body.

Her gaze softens when she follows your trail, and she joins you, scooting beside you, finding that you were spending much more time being cozy.

She wraps her arms around you, pulling you in closer. A small silence, at least, goes for a little moment.

"...Do you wanna watch a movie with me? Or...come join me in the music room?" she whispers. The windows were still bright with the daylight, shining in through and making the room glow, but cozy enough to send you into a dozy state.

"I...kind of just wanna be in bed..." you whisper softly back, curling into her. She could feel your nose ever so slightly brush against her shirt.

"You sure, baby?" Taylor asks, her eyes searching your body language, and just a bit of your eyes she could see.

"Yeah...its okay, you can go write..." you say softly, pursing your lip. Then a soft yawn escapes your mouth that you had to cover with your hand.

"I'm sleepy..." you murmured then, snuggling closer to her and slowly letting your eyes close.

Taylor looks down with concern growing on her expressions, but her hand gently rubs your back. "Well...okay, sweetie," she whispers back.

The fan was humming with wind, keeping the room filled with air and a certain coldness. You couldn't tell if it was because of your dust colored blue walls, or if the fan was just too cold.

Another yawn passes by your lips, and you curled up further. You wanted to go back to sleep. It was so tempting. So cozy and cold, even if it was the afternoon already.

You couldn't resist...

|——————————— ⸆⸉ ———————————|

Taylor sat beside you after coming back from some songwriting.

She settled with nothing but only her own presence and your sleeping one. Her phone was on the nightstand. A book she was reading, was sitting over by the desk, and her guitar, was on its stand.

Her eyes search your figure from behind. You weren't even on the pillows anymore, you were in an odd horizontal position, curled up, like you were a cat.

She guessed you had been in and out of sleep, changing positions from the ruffled up look of the blanket and sheets.

She could see the dishelved look on your hair, and you didn't even have the blanket up your body.

A small breath leaves her soft lips. Her hand reaches for the covers, and she pulled them up, gently warming you up so you weren't going cold.

Before she could return back to her comfortable position, she soon heard some rustling from you stirring. She held her breath, freezing. But you were just turning around with your eyes still closed. Your arm had fallen to the bed once more in the roll of your body.

She lets her breath release in relief, realizing you were only moving in your sleep, your body urging to get comfortable.

When she leans back to the pillows, she gazes your face, her arm draped around your body. You seemed so sweet and peaceful, she almost didn't want to wake you at all.

But as much as she loved seeing you asleep and wondering what you were dreaming, she couldn't help the concern poking her heart. You may have simply needed the rest, but shutting down the whole day certainly wasn't something usual of you.

She wasn't upset with you. Not at all. She was simply aching at the thought that you were possibly struggling with something, but not wanting to tell her, or even maybe unable to describe it.

Sometime soon, the way your soft breaths turned more noticeable was a tell that you were waking up, along with your slowly opening eyes.

You let out a slow huff of a breath. Your body felt heavy. Your limbs were sore, and especially your legs and feet. You had been staying in bed for too long.

The feeling was still there. The blank feel of your own eyes, the feel of your heart. You swallowed the sleep in your throat, turning your head groggily, and your face peeking out from Taylor's chest.

She notices the movement, and looks down, tilting her head to see you. "...Sweetheart?" she whispers softly, her thumb going to gently rub your back.

You look up at her, a stoic looking expression on your face. You took a deep breath, then sighed softly, feeling the way your body sinks at the exhale.

She could see it. That faraway, distant look. Her eyebrows furrow, trying to put pieces together, of what could possibly have reason to your change of behaviour. But she stopped her mind, because maybe she didn't need to put a reason to it. Maybe she could just provide you your comfort and warmth.

What made it even worse was, you didn't even feel heavy. Maybe even floating, but you didn't feel like that either. You were grounded, present, but everything was like white noise.

You had showered in the morning, but because you had been napping, you didn't even feel clean anymore. Definitely not refreshed, either, even though you've caught all the sleep in the world.

"I'm sorry," you whispered softly, nuzzling into her. Her eyebrows furrow, and she looks down at you.

Taylor took in her own breath, pulling you in closer. "...Shh...It's okay...what are you sorry of...?" she whispers softly, knowing your lack of communication, meant something was off.

"Whats wrong, baby?" she asks softly, moving your stray strands of hair aside, keeping them clear from your eyes.

You curl up into her, snuggling in to find comfort in her embrace. You wanted to tell her. But the room was quiet. You could only feel the coldness of the wind, coming from the ceiling fan above you, brushing against your skin.

Everything seemed bare, felt like it was dull arrows piercing through an empty heart. You rest your head against the front of Taylor's shoulder, one arm around her while your other hand was fiddling with the fabric of her shirt.

Her hands go through your hair soothingly, waiting patiently for any sign that you would perhaps talk, but didn't mind not having an answer, at least knowing you were relishing all the comfort in her embrace.

She nuzzles into your hair, breathing in the scent of shampoo from the shower earlier, then contently sighed, closing her eyes and resting her cheek against you.

Your finger drew mindless circles, and your thumb went in a back and forth position here and there. "...What if it stays like this...?" you whispered. You then took a breath in, wanting to say further, but then you just exhaled it out shortly after, too tired to even say anything else.

She looks down at you, leaning back slightly. "Us, baby...?" she asks, wondering if you were relishing in the quietness. You shook your head.

"Me, sleeping constantly..." you murmur, the slight guilt etching into your voice. You hadn't done anything for the whole day,

"Oh...it won't, darling..." Her arms around you tightened, pulling you in closer. You lean into her, feeling the water in your eyes blur your vision, but you blink a little, and they were gone the second they came.

"...Just...I feel useless...and I didn't do anything today, or hung out with you." Your voice was getting quieter, smaller, possibly even along with how you were shrinking into her, burying your face into the crook of her neck.

She brings her attention to her thoughts, going through all the words in her mind. "You did things with me today. You got up from bed, ate your breakfast, showered...thats enough for me," she reassures you, letting out a soft breath.

"...You know, its normal to get some extra rest...even if you feel like you haven't 'done enough' to get up to that point," she whispers, laying a kiss atop your head.

"Its okay. You can just stay here with me for now," She whispers, resting her chin where she kissed afterwards, making you feel the warmth of her embrace enveloping you.

You heard her murmur, but you slump ever so slightly. "But when will it stop?" you whisper, one of the other problems tugging at the veins of your heart.

Her soft, non audible sigh was provided with an ache in her heart. "I don't know either, sweetheart..." she tilts her head down, looking into your eyes. "And thats okay. You don't always have to worry when it ends, maybe it'll just...happen," she whispers, nuzzling into your nose.

"...It happens with me too, you know..." she says, remembering all the times shes come back home from her shows, or an interview. You look up at her, searching her eyes. She smiles softly, giving you a gentle kiss. "And you've seen that I always turn out better...because you were always beside me."

The quietness goes for a moment, but now with a small drop of comfort, filling the space, some minutes for you to linger on her words. She gazes off to the doorway of your shared bedroom, deep in thought.

"Do you want something to eat...?" she whispers slowly, leaning back slightly to see your face. It had been hours since breakfast already, and she knew lunch was coming around.

Your stomach did feel empty. You hadn't noticed it until now. But you nuzzle back into her. Her arms instinctively tighten around you, a smile tugging on her lips.

"Its comfy..." you murmured. You certainly didn't want to let go, especially with the covers being as warm as Taylor, acting like a shield to the cold.

She gives another kiss to the top of your head, struggling to resist her smile. "Baby...as much as you look adorable, buried in the covers looking like a teddy bear..." she trails off, her eyes traveling down to you.

"Maybe you can be just as cozy when you're out of bed?" she suggests gently, tilting her head. Her thumb gave a sweet caress on your back.

You look into her eyes, hesitant on her gentle urging. The floor seemed too grounded for your feet, but the bed was also too soft for you to stay any longer without feeling the soreness.

After some consideration, you soon accept it with a gentle nod, the churning in your stomach unable to stay unnoticed anymore.

She smiles, ever so slightly, sitting up to start getting up from the bed. You felt a twinge of disappointment at the loss of warmth, but you follow her as she helps you.

You let out a gentle sigh when you sat at the edge of the bed. Taylor waited patiently when she stood up, her gaze gentle over your face. Her hand held yours, keeping touch.

You could feel a gentle squeeze, giving you reassurance before you finally will yourself to stand up. Although maybe a little too fast, causing you to blink at the dizziness and lean yourself against her.

She held you gently, her hand slipping out of yours quickly to wrap her arms around your waist, keeping you steady.

Whats worse is, you didn't even feel tired. You had feelings, but they weren't felt in your heart. There was sleepiness evident, but not tiredness evident. You were simply living in your body and drifting through time.

The world fell quiet, for once. But almost too quiet. Your ankle had pressure as you took your steps forward, and Taylor could see the slight disorientation mustered on your face, so she kept her eye on you, walking with you.

"Slow steps, baby," she whispers, concern etched on her face as she guides you. The deja vu of the moment was starting to run over your mind.

When you got to the kitchen, you sat at the barstool, while Taylor went off to open the cabinets, looking at the options to then take a glance to you.

"Toast or something else, baby?" she asks softly, her hand still holding on the handle of the cabinet. You turn your head up to her, blinking.

"Toast," you answered quietly. Taylor nods, and grabbed a plate, preparing it for you with your favorite spread on the bread.

Once she was done carefully setting it, she sets the plate down in front of you with a gentle clink, then smiled softly, leaning against the kitchen island.

You look to it, then lean forward a little, reaching out to take the toast into your grasp and put a bite into it.

As you chewed, you stare down at your sandwich in your hand, but couldn't help space off to the side a little, or the marble top of the island. You couldn't tell.

A quietness overlays the room. Taylor's eyes roam your expression before she rounds the island to your side, sitting beside you on another barstool.

"Maybe, if you want, we can sit outside for a little bit, you know?" she says softly, resting her arm on the kitchen island, along with her cheek against her palm.

You look at her, getting out of the zoned out state as she gently pulls you back to reality. At the same time, needing to swallow the bread in your mouth and take another bite as she watches.

"Have some hot chocolate..." she suggests softly, trailing off with a gentle smile growing on her face, her eyes going to you. She had made the corner of your lips have the smallest raise.

Taylor waits a little longer, seeing the wheels turning in your mind. "...Hm...?...is that okay with you?" she murmurs softly, in search of confirmation.

You think about it for a moment. Going back to bed seemed so nice. But having hot chocolate in the sun with Taylor? It was...an equal deal. Most times you didn't even need to think about such an offer like that, but even you couldn't figure out what was wrong with your current mind, if there was anything that needed to be identified.

A breath slowly leaves you, and you gave in with a nod, along with a small raise on the corner of your lips that didn't reach your eyes. "Sure."

She fully smiles now, and gives a nod of her own. "Good, I'll make the hot chocolate while you eat," she says, getting up to return to the kitchen counters.

You could hear the creaking of the cabinets, the pouring of hot water, and the gentle clinking of small spoons, stirring against the mugs.

It kept you focused on her, seeing her every move as she made the simple recipe of a warm beverage, easily fit for the midst of days like these.

Once you finish your sandwich, you put away the plate in the sink, although deciding to wash it later since there will be mugs too, now.

Just as you were finished, Taylor was too, and she had gestured to you your drink beside her on the counter, her hand still stirring her own.

You take some steps over to her, your hand about to reach out for the drink. "Careful, baby...its hot," she warned gently, wanting you to be careful.

You look to her, but then gently wrapping your fingers around the mug's handle. "Its called hot chocolate, anyway..." you say, the smallest smile on the corners of your lips, but it elicited a giggle out of Taylor, her head nodding in agreement. "True," she says.

You walked over to the front door, unlocking it and opening it slowly. The sunlight was shining down on everything, making a bright glow against the wooden porch. It was also going to be the sunset soon, too.

Taylor was about to join you in going outside as she followed, but got distracted by a nearby Benjamin, who had gotten curious of the front door opening.

His blue eyes stared gently right back up to her own, and she couldn't help but smile, bending down to gently pick his body up with her free hand.

Then, she joins you, stepping out the house and sitting down beside you on the clean steps of the porch. You were gently blowing on your hot chocolate, although there was a part in you that had an urge to simply take a sip, you remember Taylor's sweet warning.

She settled down with Benjamin, now laid down on her lap comfortably. Once she got comfortable, she puts down her mug, making sure it wasn't in a place where it could be knocked over.

You took some gentle sips, although it was still steaming hot, you could feel the warmth of the hot chocolate, running down easily through your throat, a soothing feeling that sank to your body.

Taylor glances to you, her eyes gently roaming your features and expression. She takes a moment, just a few, before she shifts closer and reaches her arm around you, pulling you closer just a little.

You blink slightly at the pull, but you lean into it eventually, melting into the side of her shoulder. Benjamin noticed, his ears tilting a little, but then he goes into your lap instead, resting cozily, purring. You could feel it.

It almost only made you feel sleepier. But in the comforting way, like the sunshine on your face, melting away the cold.

A gentle smile turns up on her face as she looks at you, then wraps her arm around you, comforting you with her touch.

She could see the relaxation going through you, finding solace in her presence as she simply sits there, peacefully with you. Maybe you didn't need anything else right now. Maybe you didn't have to do anything, but just be present.

Her thumb gently rubs your shoulder through your shirt, and she leans her head against yours, turning to give a lingering kiss before getting comfortable again.

She watches the birds fly in the sky, returning to their home or go to find food. "...Baby?" she starts with a whisper, gently catching your attention to her.

You turn your head to look at her, seeing she had leaned back slightly to look at you properly. "...Mm?" you responded with a questioning hum.

She stays quiet for a moment, simply searching your eyes, as if she was trying to read your thoughts.

"...Can you tell me something, honey?" she asks softly, her other hand coming down to gently slip into your own hand, intertwining your fingers. You gave her a gentle nod, wanting her to continue.

A bit of her lip gets captured by her teeth, but then she lets go to speak quietly, treading carefully. "Do you need anything?"

You thought about the question, your eyes slowly blinking through it, and there was a near furrow in your eyebrows, but eventually her question was answered. "...Just you."

A small smile grew on her lips, but the breath in she took told that she had more to say. "Okay, then be honest with me on this one," she continued, her voice a little more serious, but still soft and sweet.

You stay quiet, waiting for her next words. "What's going on...hm?" she asks with a slight tilt of her head, her hand that was on your shoulder going down to find ground on the wood of the porch.

Your eyes divert from her gaze the second her question came out, a small breath escaping you slowly, but your free hand went to Benjamin's soft fur.

Her face softens, seeing the way you turned away, and she gave a gentle squeeze to your hand. "You don't have to tell, and I won't judge...but I'm worried. I mean, aside from all the sleeping..." she murmurs, knowing there was something else.

You take a moment to respond, your teeth sinking into the side of your lip. You didn't want to answer. You didn't know how to. But it was Taylor, and if anyone could understand your feelings the most, it was her.

Your shoulders lowered slowly with a breath, your eyes downcast. You gathered your words before you softly spoke. "...I don't know whats happening anymore, Tay."

Your gaze returned to her, your eyes squeezing slightly in sadness as you then lean your head against her shoulder. "I feel so...sleepy...but I've gotten so much sleep."

Her hand rubs in a soothing up and down motion on your shoulder, pulling you closer before she gives a kiss to your head, listening closely.

You sighed. "...I don't know. Its...everything is just...gray. I can't find...passion. And not even music helps..." you continued, with your last words being quiet, and then you slumping into her in defeat.

Taylor's heart broke at the heaviness your shoulders seemed to be holding, even if it didn't show, or didn't felt like it was there.

But she took her heart's love, trying to help you find your way back. "Its okay if you end up not being able to feel things sometimes, you know..." she whispers softly.

"I mean, its...not great, but you're still here, aren't you? Being present, still giggling every once in a while even if its hard." she says softly, a small smile coming up on her face to reassure you, and you did feel your heart soften.

"Maybe your brain's just trying to protect you, from big feelings, but it doesn't know how much to reduce?" she pauses for a moment, her mind wanting to be careful with her words. A breath of air goes through her lips.

You frown, hugging her closer and going closer the best you could with Benjamin in your lap. You could still feel the purring. "I don't like it..." you murmur, hating that you couldn't seem to feel anything, nearly to the point that you were even beginning to think it was becoming your personality. But Taylor knew it wasn't that.

"I know...but it won't last forever, sweetheart," she reassures you softly, her arms tightening around you. Her embrace held her love.

"Your passion will come right back to you sometime soon, and maybe you'll even blink and its right there again." The words were simple, a gentle but clear meaning to you in your mind as Taylor gazes off to the neighbourhood.

"Maybe we don't have to...do anything...we can just...sit," she whispers, relaxing slowly with you. She could feel your own body, melting away the tension.

"...And I'll be right here, beside you." Her murmur was quiet, leaning back and tilting her head to look at you, then kiss your cheek, a breath of near relief escaping you as you bury your face into her.

"Its okay."

"We're gonna be okay, baby."

----------------------

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[jaune-submissive-and-breedable]

ruby has been acting bizarely horny towards jaune ever since pyrrha died and jaune just can't seem to figure out why... only to learn from tai that rose's are naturally drawn towards depressed blondes (it's summer all over again). and despite jaune's best attempts at avoiding the inevitable, he finds out the hard way that once a rose has you in their sights... it's already game over for you

also does this count as yandere?

Jaune paced back and forth as he held a certain reaper's scroll to his ear, waiting anxiously for the ringing to cease. Occasionally glancing back to the campsite where his friends lay sleeping. Watching for a familiar blur of red.

The ringing finally stopped, and a tired masculine voice answered, "What's wrong, rose bud??"

Jaune perked up, a sense of relief washes over him "Oh, Hello Mr. Rose"

He heard a groin from the older man. "It's Xia long kid, and I take it this is that Jaune kid?"

"No si...I mean yes..i...fuck.."

Taiyang rubbed his eyes as he listened to the boy stammering, his patience wearing thin "What do you want kid, and why are you on Ruby's scroll?"

Jaune stopped stammering and took a quick glance back at the campsite, "Well...Ruby's been acting very.......strange"

Tai yang sat up, concern on his face, "Strange.....how?"

"well...."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh fuck.....Ruby!"

The girl in question was on her knees with her head bobbing in between his legs. Her mouth full of his erect cock, eagerly lick and slobber on his length.

"Ruby what the hell!"

Ruby licked his length once more, giving his tip a quick kiss before pulling away and staring into his eyes

"Don't worry, Jaune~ I'll cheer you up~"

He leaned against a tree for support, a hand clasp over his mouth as to not disturb their other teammates.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And all I did was Some training to a video Pyrrha left me"

Tai yang raised an eyebrow, part of him feeling murderous towards the blonde "Is that all?"

Jaune bite his lip, unsure if he should continue or not "umm...those are the more tame interactions we had recently"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

One night, Jaune whimpered as he dreamt of the fall again. Pyrrha's last words to him echoing in his mind. That is, until she started kissing and grinding against his groin. Being shook from his dream. he woke to see Ruby sitting on his sleeping bag, dressed only in her stockings with heart shaped iris in her silver eyes

"R...RuBy!!!!" he stammered, quickly averting his eyes "What the fuck are you doing!!!????"

Ruby smiled creepily, slowly leaning herself forward, "You're gonna put a baby in me Jaune......"

Before he could reply, she immediately crashed their lips together in a lust fueled kissed, her hands running under his hoodie as she ground his sopping wet cunt against his pants. Cause a dark wet stain to grow on them.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And when did this happen?" Tai yang questioned, rubbing his temples

"Tonight....."Jaune replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"and what were you dreaming about?"

He heard silent at his query, no doubt a hard subject to talk about. Also the reason Ruby's acting this way.

"Look kid, you don't have to tell, It's hard to talk about. But that leads to this. Rose women are attracted to depressed blondes like they are to cookies and strawberries" He sighed, cracking his neck "Summer acted just how you describe Ruby when Raven, Yang's mother left us. Also.....Umm....kid? you there?"

On Jaune's end, He was tackled to the ground by a feral Ruby who tore his cloths off and immediately impaled his cock inside her tiny body. Not wasting a single moment, she immediately began bouncing rapidly on his lap. Her speed and power making him groan.

"RUBY WAIT!!!!"

"No...IT's Time to BReeD"

As they began fornicating, they didn't realize the call was still active. Tai yang heard their moans of passion and hung up. He was trying to tell Jaune to just surrender. Once a rose has you in her sights, she'll have you one way or another.

[spriteofmushrooms]

Wei Wuxian sipped the wine Lan Zhan brought from Gusu in one of Jinlin Tai's many ostentatious peony gardens. He had found a branch in a ginkgo tree that was high enough that no one should see him at a glance where he still had a good view of the moon between the yellow leaves. It wasn't the worst way he could have spent his time at the Discussion Conference. Lan Zhan, for example, had to be xiandu. What could possibly be worse than that?

"Jin Ling, what's the matter now?"

Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes. Really, Jiang Cheng is such a wronged mother. He plays his part like a grand madam.

"Do you think Zizhen-ge is a better sect leader than I am?" Jin Ling hissed.

"What?" Wei Wuxian looked down. Through the branches, he could see Jiang Cheng's silver lotus guan glimmer with his head shake. "Where did you get that from? A-Ling, sit and explain."

"You complimented him in front of everyone," Jin Ling grumbled, but he flounced onto the bench.

Jiang Cheng folded himself gracefully, careful of the drape of his robes. "It's his first conference. All I did was walk him through presenting himself, like a junior should be treated."

"You liked his proposal."

"You like it, too, brat. Besides, a little support in the beginning keeps the old men at bay."

Jin Ling knocked his shoulder against Jiang Cheng's. "So it's not because you always wanted a poet for a nephew?"

Wei Wuxian couldn't see it, but he could imagine Jiang Cheng's face. But when Jiang Cheng spoke, it didn't match the tone he expected. Sad, but trying to joke. "After the poems Zixuan wrote?"

"A-Die wrote poems?"

Oh, oh, Wei Wuxian wanted to leave.

"Once he became enlightened, he was devout. 'Rain pearls on lotus leaves which bow gracefully/Thoughts of you collect and overwhelm me.' A-jie blushed for weeks." Jiang Cheng sighed. "The Jinlin Tai library should have them all somewhere. Please don't let Ouyang-gongzi read them."

Jin Ling huffed a laugh and threw his arm around Jiang Cheng's shoulder, which is when Wei Wuxian realized Jin Ling was taller and broader now. He hadn't seen them side by side in years. A light breeze stirred the gingko leaves and lifted the scent of peonies.

"Hanguang-jun didn't murder anyone with his eyes today," Jin Ling chirped. "Do you think he's starting to like politics?"

"Don't."

"Jiujiu..."

"He's the xiandu, Jin Ling. What do you think would happen if anyone overheard you disrespect him, especially while hosting the conference?"

Jin Ling groaned and threw his head back dramatically, jostling Jiang Cheng. Briefly, Wei Wuxian amused himself by imagining what Yu-furen would have made of her grandson. Then he gently slapped himself. "You're so boring, jiujiu! It's not like he respects either of us."

Jiang Cheng snapped, "I didn't realize you aspired to be so immature and irresponsible."

Immature? Irresponsible? Jiang Cheng had a lot of nerve! Wei Wuxian would tell him so, but then he would have to admit to hiding in a tree. Jiang Cheng would be so annoying about it, and Wei Wuxian really didn't want to bother!

"Aiya, jiujiu, if I can't complain to you about him, who can I? No one else sees what he's like."

Jiang Cheng leaned against Jin Ling, but then he ruined the picture by saying, "It's good that most people can't tell. If half of the sects ran to Zewu-jun with complaints about his beloved didi, he would leave seclusion before he was ready."

They were quiet for a few moments. Suddenly, Jin Ling burst out, "Do you really not care?"

Jiang Cheng paused. "About?"

"You know I spend time with—him!"

"You're sixteen, Jin Ling. Your memory should be good enough to remember every other time you've poked at this. And use his name; he doesn't actually appear every time you call."

"Wei-qianbei misses you!" Jin Ling grabbed Jiang Cheng's shoulders and started to gently shake him back and forth, but then Jiang Cheng pushed his hands away and stood.

"As you are clearly feeling better, I will leave first," Jiang Cheng hissed.

Jin Ling zipped in front of Jiang Cheng, blocking his path. "Jiujiu, I don't understand you at all! You want to talk to him, and he wants to talk to you. Why are you waiting?"

"He wants to talk to me so much that I learned about his elopement from gossiping disciples? He wants to talk to me so much that he lives in Cloud Recesses, which he hates? He wants to talk to me so much that he ignores Lan Wangji's hand on Bichen every time we meet?" With each question, Jiang Cheng prowled forward, and Jin Ling backed up.

"I don't think he hates Cloud Recesses..."

That's right; Wei Wuxian didn't. Lan Zhan was there, for one thing. And the juniors!

"That's because you don't fucking know him," Jiang Cheng snapped.

"Oh, and you do? When you won't even talk to him?"

"I was his assignment, Jin Ling. He either played with me or starved; he either trained to be the best or lost his position." Jiang Cheng laughed, dark and mean. "Not that I noticed."

"Jiujiu..."

"Let him live the life he wants, Jin Ling. Let me go to bed."

[pokedawriter]

winged!reader x Inazuma!Men

Gn!reader

Prompt: You (literally) crash land into Inazuma boys' lives

Itto and Gorou

content warning: asleep for long time/coma, injuries (no vivid descriptions)

Arataki Itto

He's out in the rain looking for the fiercest Onikabuto ("only the strongest beetles will be out during the rain! That's how we know they're the best"). He thinks he's found a good one and is about to grab it when...

*SLAM* You fall out of the sky and crash land onto him

He's thrown onto the ground and he's about to yell at you for "your deal" when he realizes you are completely out and smell a little... smokey?

Damm, you must have been cooking something good (you were zapped by lightning mid-air)

He takes you to Granny Oni and she helps nurse you back to health

When you wake up, Itto is playing with your wings, which earns him a feathered and an actual slap

Granny Oni eventually explains the situation and you apologize, saying you are in their debt

Itto decides to take full advantage of this and drags you to meet with his gang to help them out with "gang stuff" as the newest member of the Arataki Gang (you have been awake for maybe an hour at this point? You have no idea what's going on)

Gang stuff is pretty simple - wander the street playing with the kids, competing for candy

You return to Granny Oni's house that night exhausted from a full day of laughter and fun

Granny Oni invites you to stay for as long as you like and you happily take her up on that offer

Over the next few months, you and Kuki try (and fail) to keep the gang out of trouble (you got arrested once or twice too)

You enjoy your days of eating ramen with the boys, taking odd jobs to earn mora and messing around until sunset

Once you're able to fly again, Itto has you help him find the best Onikabuto and you learn the art of Beetle Battles

You're also a fan-favorite among the kids, as you're great at tag thanks to your birds-eye view

You even take the kids and the gang flying (you don't go very high above the ground, just holding their hands in yours as you glide down a hill)

Several times, Kuki has found the gang nestled under your wings, everyone peacefully sleeping

You can't help but fall in-love with Itto's carefree yet kind nature and you try to flirt with him but he's completely oblivious to it

"I'm looking handsome today? I look handsome everyday! Thanks for noticing. You look great too! Hey, by the way can we reach that Onikabuto up there?"

Kuki eventually takes pity on you and tells Itto straight that you like him romantically

He's never really thought about anyone that way before, but now...

You laughter makes the butterflies in his stomach flutter, your smile makes him blush furiously, and his heart skips a beat when he see your stretch those pretty wings in the morning

Oh, he's got it bad

You've given up at this point (you still love him, but you think he's too oblivious to ever notice), so when he's stumbling over his words while his face his complete red... it's now your turn to be oblivious and confused

Kuki can only smack her forehead with her hand

Eventually, he musters up the courage to get you a bouquet of flowers (wildflowers that he carefully picked) and confesses to you (with the rest of the gang hiding in the bushes near by for moral support)

You, of course, say yes and the gang jumps out of the bushes to celebrate

"It's time to PAR-TAY!!! Let's go get ramen to celebrate!"

Gorou

He's on a patrol with his men when they see something fall from the sky and crash into the shrubbery ahead

They rush over and find you, unconscious with one wing bent at an awkward angle

Gorou and his men carry you back to base carefully, making sure not to run into any specters on the way back, and leave you under the careful care of the medics

Since he found you, Gorou feels responsible for your recovery and well-being, and will check in on your everyday after he's done with his duties or during meals

He'll brush your hair and feathers (he hates it when his fur gets messy, so he bets having nest hair will help you feel more comfortable when you wake up), and he'll always correct the blanket if it has slipped at all

Maybe it's because you're asleep, or maybe its because you're a stranger but he feels like he can tell you anything. He'll chat with you about his day and vent to you about his problems. He knows you're not listening, but it's nice being able to talk with someone

Except... you are listening. You're not able to respond but you can hear him

A couple weeks go by and your eyes flutter open. You have a bit of a headache, but you manage to sit up despite feeling quite week

You look down and Gorou is asleep, sitting next to your bed, hand holding yours

Despite never seeing him before, you recognize him as the voice that spoke to you while you were unconscious (not many people talk about their tails and ears after all)

You gently pat him on the head and he slowly stirs awake

Both of your hearts flutter when you first make eye-contact

He'll shoot upwards and run to get a medic to check on you while he gets you a warm meal

He's a bit too busy (embarrassed) to visit you the rest of the day, but he does check in on you the next day, bringing you your meal

Finally, you're able to chat while you're awake and he's very embarrassed now that you tell him you remember what he said (but he's also very touched that you remember too)

When you're well enough, he'll take you on walks around the camp and introduce you to his soldiers

You even train with him a bit to get your strength back and he helps you come up with a routine to exercise and strengthen your body

You become one of his men and they welcome you whole-heartedly, helping you train (a pack sticks together after all)

When you finally can fly again, the whole camp can hear the joyful yells and hollers of your squad mates celebrating

Though you can't pick most of your team members up, you can carry Gorou on your back, which gives him an amazing birds-eye view of the battlefield

You get the nickname of "the pointy-eared general's wings"

You help him realize that his smaller size can be an asset on the field, since you can pick him up, allowing his men to see him more easily and for him to see the battle better

The more you practice together, the more in-sync and closer you become, the high altitude preventing anyone from possibly hearing your conversations

He loves those flights with you, his tail wagging rapidly (despite his embarrassment and attempts to stop it)

Eventually, you meet Kokomi and she sees the way you look at each other (Gorou's tail will always wag when you come into view)

Gorou will ask her for help coming up with ideas on how to confess to you and they draft up an idea

He takes you mountaineering (he climbs while you fly) and at the top of the mountain peak he pulls out a bouquet of flowers

With a very red face he asks if you will be his partner

You of course say yes and his tail wags uncontrollably

"Thank you for helping me to find the best in me! I promise to take care of you"

[random-gamer1942]

(1/7) The train that was

Trainwreck Graveyard

(2/7) Ready to go

The train started coming to a halt about a minute after the explosion

Why do these things have to be so loud, the sheriff thought, ears still ringing. She let out a sigh and closed her eyes for a moment, before attempting to stand up

Her legs were a bit shaky, but she couldn't care less with the situation at hand. Once the train had fully stopped, she stepped onto the ground through the missing back of the cabin and looked off into the distance

Broken pieces of metal were scattered everywhere, and the rails had been damaged. The last 2 cabins had been disconnected and derailed where the explosion happened a good 70-80 yards back, and was currently on it's side

Thankfully she didn't see anyone in there. The train station only let you walk directly into the first three cabins and this was a less busy time of week, but this could've been bad

As she started walking to investigate the site, someone approuched from the train. She looked back and saw a man that looked annoyed - and what she very easily recognized as a concealed sawed-off shotgun in his coat

With a smooth motion she pulled both her revolvers. "I know a thug when I see one, who the hell are you?"

He flinched, but didn't do anything. Instead, he said "The 2 that rode off don't count then? Besides, not everything revolves around you, big-shot. I gotta find those outlaws before I lose this gig."

"Gi-? Ah, hired protection. Say, you talk big for someone who should've prevented this in the first place."

"Whatever, just let me do my job", he said, walking towards the disconnected cabins to investigate, with the sheriff following suit

After a few minutes of looking around they discovered 2 things: 1) tracks, clearly from horses, and 2) a monocle, but from one of those outlaws. It seems there had been someone in the cabin after all, though there was no trace of them...

The man turned to the sheriff. "Well, good luck with writing a report or whatever, I'm off", as he started following the tracks.

"Hold your horses, cowboy. No way are you going after them by yourself, can't have another missing person on my conscience."

"I don't plan on going missing Ms. Big-shot. But fine, come along if you have to."

"Stop calling me that, my name's Ashlyn."

"No thanks, I'm fine with Big-shot. But for the sake of pleasantries, I'm Tyler."

She sighed. She didn't like working with others, especially knuckleheads like him. But she had this strange feeling she was gonna need all the help she could get. And right as she thought that, someone else came running up

"An adventure!? I'm coming along!", said the woman, who looked very excited. And kind of like the knucklehead too, the sheriff thought

"No way Tay, too dangerous. Besides, shouldn't you stay behind to fix the train?"

"C'mon Ty, not even I could fix this by myself. The conductor has already sent for help from a few other mechanics, they won't even notice I'm gone."

"But-"

"Besides, mom said we should always stick together. I'm going."

"Fine. But is the luggage really necessary", he asked, gesturing at the large backpack she had with her

"You never know what you'll need, and you always take too little with you. And I'm carrying it myself, so stop complaining", she snapped back

He sighed, defeated. Siblings, good to know, Ash noted. And soon, they were ready to set off

...

Aiden sat on the back of his cousin's horse, looking at the sunset. "Say Stache, why in tarnation did we take that softie again?"

The man on the horse next to him with a large moustache looked increasingly annoyed from being asked the same question for the who-knows-how-oftenth time. "Smiles, I swear to the lord in the heavens above, if you ask me that question again I'll throw this shrimp on your guys' horse."

"It don't make no sense to me though..."

"For the LAST time, he's important leverage for the possible skirmishes next week."

"But why'd they give two shit bout 'im? 'Leverage' didn't work last time."

"That's because you're the only person on this darned earth insane enough to enjoy being kidnapped by criminals, and whose parents would for some reason be okay with you wanting to stay?"

"I mean, it do be excitin', don't it?"

"Just shut up, you're givin' me another headache. Besides, we're here."

He pointed to a cave about 300 yards away, with dim orange light coming out of it. After riding for a few more moments the 4 horses came to a stop. The cousins, the man with a moustache, and 3 others stepped off their horses

The man who rode in front grabbed a weird object from his horse and gave the reins to one of the other outlaws

"Cwrwfwll wwth thwt", the kid on the back of Stache's horse mumbled through the cloth in his mouth, but noone paid him any mind

"Scars, Salted, tie them horses down. Stache, grab that kid and come with me. Same for y'all, Smiles, Silent."

Some 'yes sir's and 'alrighty's were said and Ben nodded. Stache threw the young 20-something with light brown hair over his shoulder and, together with the cousins, started following the boss

Inside, they saw a handful of others sitting around a campfire. The group, including them, consisted of about a dozen outlaws, ranging from about 16 to 40 years old

A few of them greeted the boss and the three others as they came walking in. A bit later, the last to also came to join them

"Alrighty, seems everyone's here. I think we're almost ready boys. A few more days and our names will be known throughout the country", the leader said, lighting a cigar. "A few more days..."

(3/7): in progress

[fanficlolsblog]

DRUNK (NON SMUT VERSION)

back to my main masterlist

pairing: fem!reader x taylor swift

summary: you're drunk and your girlfriend, taylor wants to take you home, which you try to resist.

warnings: none.

a/n: this is a short imagine! i posted this on wattpad too if y’all want to follow me, it’s ’loversxoxoxo’ :)

The night is a blur of laughter and flashing lights. I'm leaning heavily against the bar, feeling the world tilt and spin with every movement. Taylor's by my side, her presence a calm anchor in the storm of my inebriation. She's been gently trying to persuade me to leave for what feels like hours.

"Come on, let's get you home," she says, her voice steady and soothing.

I shake my head, trying to focus on her through the fog. "I'm good! I don't need to go yet. You go home then!"

Taylor's eyes narrow slightly with concern, but she remains patient, ignoring what I said. "You've had a lot to drink, and it's late. I don't want you to be out of it like this."

I pull my arm away from her grip, swaying a bit as I do. "I'm fine! Really. I just... need a little more time."

Her face is a mask of unwavering determination. "No, you're not fine. And I'm not leaving you here like this."

I stumble, nearly knocking over a nearby chair. Taylor quickly steadies me, her hands firm but gentle. "Okay, that's it. We're going."

Before I can protest, she wraps an arm around my waist and starts guiding me towards the exit. I dig in my heels, trying to resist, but my coordination is failing me. I end up leaning heavily on her, my balance shot.

"L-Let me go! Let me go!" I mumble, though I'm clearly not managing well on my own.

She just shakes her head, a small smile of amusement and exasperation on her face. "You're not making it very far like this. Let me help."

Outside, the crisp night air is a sharp contrast to the warmth of the bar. Taylor hails a taxi, her calm demeanor never wavering. She helps me into the back seat, sliding in beside me. I try to settle, but the car's movement only makes my head spin more. Taylor's hand rests lightly on my knee, a reassuring presence amid the disorientation.

As the taxi rolls through the city, I grumble and complain, but Taylor remains steadfast, her eyes soft and understanding. "I know you're not thrilled about this, but I promise it's for the best. You're gonna thank me in the morning, darling."

I mutter something incoherent in response, my resistance slowly melting away as the night's fog lifts just a bit. Her gentle presence is starting to feel comforting, and I realize, in the midst of my stubbornness, that she's right. I'm not in any shape to be making decisions. I lay my head on her shoulder as I feel her soft hand glide up to my head as I feel her touch I start to feel my eyes drop.

When we finally reach our place, Taylor helps me out of the taxi and into the building. She's patient and supportive, guiding me every step of the way. Once we're inside, she helps me to the couch and makes sure I'm settled. She sits beside me, a steady hand brushing through my hair, as I finally begin to feel the safety of home.

I walk up towards our bed and hop under the covers. Turning towards my girlfriend I say, "thanks tay for looking out for me," I mumble, my voice slurred but sincere.

Taylor smiles, a mix of relief and affection in her eyes. "That's what I'm here for. Now get some rest." She sits beside me on the bed combing her hand through my hair.

I close my eyes, the night's confusion giving way to a more restful state, knowing that even in my stubbornness, I'm in good hands.

[mylossmallmustache]

Can I request Tai Lung going down on fem!reader (she/they)? Like he is pussydrunk after making reader cum for 4 times after perfoming oral s£x. The readers overstimulated but he just. Can't. Take. His. Mouth. Off. Them. He can't get enough of their taste, it's so good, so good, he just can't pull away and it will also cause his eyeliner to ruin and leaves marks on her thighs but he is too focused on pleasing them to relise that and reader is too rired to care after that.

Have a nice day!

OFC I CANNNNN!!!

Tai Lung x Fem!Reader

....Just...SMUT.

MDNI. (MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.)

You never reaaalllyyy specified if this would be scenario or headcannon so ima just do mostly headcannon and a bit of scenario

Man....MAN.

After making you cum 4 times, You are just literally tearing up and gripping on his fur and head TIGHTLY.

I'm imagining that since he does eyeliner (which is a headcannon, don't attack us), He asks you for help so when it gets all over your thighs and even your pussy tbh, You get a bit mad because it takes 20 minutes to do them since you guys have really skinny eyeliner (This is ancient China, Idk if they had thicker ones but we're just saying you two have thin ones because yes)

He only realises he put eyeliner on your thighs and pussy until you told him off either after he was done or before he was done

Before you even came once, You did realise he smeared eyeliner on your thighs and got a bit mad but then he just responds by sucking your clit

He never did oral sex to you but you have done it to him before though

When he wanted to try it he was HOOKED.

Man just doesn't wanna get off

If you try to get him off he'll just grab your hands and pin them down until you're just squirming about trying to get him off

(it didn't work)

He probably had a massive boner while doing it so I'm not surprised if he made you suck him off or just fucked you

Loves the way you taste.

Will say things like

"You're doing good... Just a couple more and then I'll be done with you~" while lapping your folds.

And

"You taste so fucking good"

"You're so sweet"

Afterwards his face is just COVERED in smeared eyeliner and your cum

You won't and literally cannot speak except for heavy breaths afterwards and struggling nods

Definitely tongue kisses you afterwards to make you taste yourself

Afterwards, He just cuddled you and gave you kisses on the forehead, Lips, Neck, shoulders and basically just anywhere tbh

Definitely twists your nipples while doing it, Man wants you to feel as much pleasure as POSSIBLE.

Thanks for reading💗

[ultrone]

𝗨𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗔𝗟𝗘 𝗠𝗢𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 ┊ 𝖿𝗐𝖻 𝗍𝗈 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗌

+ best friends jackie and lottie

synopsis. after the crash, your friends with benefits arrangement with nat takes an unexpected turn. the two of you become inseparable, seeking solace in each other's company and ignoring the past that tied the two of you together — will the feelings you once concealed resurface, or remain hidden under the surface? (click here to see request)

cw. minor nsfw — descriptive hook-up session & mentions of masturbation, — jealousy, cursing.

wc. 4.4k

It had been a few weeks since the crash, and to say it had been tough would be an understatement. One day, you were brimming with excitement, ready to head to nationals with your team. The next day, you found yourselves stranded in the heart of the woods, far from any signs of civilization. However, amidst this dire situation, you were grateful to be surrounded by familiar faces — your teammates and your closest friends.

The crash had deeply affected the group, leaving everyone shaken to their core. In the aftermath, everyone clung to each other for consolation and support. For you, Jackie, Lottie, and Nat became your closest sources of comfort.

Jackie was quite the character. From being the team captain and wielding great influence, she had become the most "useless" member of the group. Although she made attempts to lift everyone's spirits, she showed little effort in actually assisting with any of the tasks. Even the simplest chores, like fetching water from the lake, made her pull a face and inwardly complain. You loved her a lot, as she was one of your closest friends along with Lottie, whom you've known since middle school. But her behaviour could be irritating at times, and you often felt burdened by her childlike demeanour.

“Jackie, you have to push it harder,” you told her, observing how she struggled to cut the meat with the knife. "And don't bend your wrist like that; you might hurt yourself," you advised.

“I am pushing,” She responded. She made another attempt, applying slightly more force, but her posture clearly revealed her lack of genuine effort. Holding the knife with one hand, barely gripping the back end, and raising her other arm in a nonchalant manner, she was far from giving it her all.

"No, you're not," you asserted, taking the knife from her grasp. “You have to push it ‘till it pops, just like Shauna taught us yesterday,” you demonstrated, doing it correctly.

“Yuck, gross,” she exclaimed, cringing and chuckling, moving away in disgust. “Ew.”

"It's not that bad," you replied, washing your hands in a bucket of lukewarm water placed on the table.

“Yeah, I’m not doing that,” she declared while crossing her arms, causing you to roll your eyes at her.

It wasn’t always bad though, after all, Jackie had always been the kind of person who knew how to brighten everyone up. Whenever you felt down or hopeless about the whole situation, she would find a way to comfort you, even if she herself felt the same. Whether it was through uplifting words or coming up with fun distractions, she always knew how to make you feel better.

But there was this one time when things took a turn. Around two weeks ago, Jackie came up with an idea for a spiritual game, similar to Charlie Charlie, and everyone agreed to play — except for Tai, Laura Lee, and coach Ben. The rest of you gathered on the second floor of the cabin, forming a circle and lighting candles in a sort of ritualistic manner. Shauna took on the role of the "messenger" or something like that, holding a pendulum to contact the spirit of the dead man who had been in the cabin when you arrived.

At first, it was fun, with questions about crushes and gossip floating around. However, as time went on, the tone shifted dramatically. Javi's question about the possibility of death out in the wilderness cast a somber cloud over the group, plunging everyone into a more serious mindset. And that's when everything took a turn for the worse. The ambiance abruptly shifted when all the candles extinguished simultaneously, and Lottie appeared to be possessed. She muttered incomprehensible words in French and injured her forehead, causing it to bleed. The situation became so alarming that Laura Lee instinctively grabbed a Bible and threw it at Lottie, which eventually snapped her back to reality. However, she was never the same after that incident.

Looking back, Lottie and you became friends back in middle school. One day, while you were playing alone on the swings, a young Taissa suddenly pushed you and ran off, laughing mischievously. You ended up falling on your knees and scraping them, causing a small amount of bleeding. Trying to hold back your tears, you heard a gentle voice coming from behind you.

"Are you okay?" You glanced up and saw a girl with long brown hair cascading over her shoulders. She had two strands of hair tied up at the back with a pink bow.

You nodded shyly, trying to keep a tear from falling as you rubbed your eye.

"Don't cry!" she said with concern. "Come on, let's go to the bathroom and get you cleaned up," she suggested, extending her hand toward you with a warm smile.

You slowly smiled back and took her hand. "Thank you," you said softly. She assisted you in standing up and then guided you carefully towards the bathroom.

"By the way, my name is Charlotte, but everyone calls me Lottie," she introduced herself with a wide grin. "What's your name?" she asked, curiosity evident in her eyes.

"My name is Y/n," you replied, returning her smile.

Ever since you were young, Lottie had always been an incredibly caring and loyal friend. She was full of fun and wit, and if anything bad ever happened, she would defend you as if her life depended on it. But after the incident at the cabin, something changed within her. It was hard to put into words. She was still the same Lottie you had always known, yet somehow different at the same time.

You had been aware of Lottie's struggle with schizophrenia for a few years now. She had entrusted you with this information, being the only friend she had opened up to about it. After the crash, you became increasingly concerned because you knew it was only a matter of time before she ran out of her medication. Gradually, you began to notice peculiar behaviour from her, and she acknowledged it as well. Still, you tried to reassure her, believing that her odd actions were merely a result of adjusting to a lower dosage of her pills.

However, after the incident, strange occurrences started happening that left you questioning whether Lottie's diagnosis of schizophrenia was accurate. How could she have stopped Tai's sleepwalking problem and even attracted a bear to the cabin when everyone was on the verge of starvation? It felt too coincidental to ignore.

Nevertheless, despite any of these events, your relationship with both Jackie and Lottie remained intact. If anything, those experiences only strengthened the bond you shared with them. However, if you were being completely honest, the person who provided you with the most comfort at the moment was Nat. She seemed like the only stable presence in your life, unaffected by childlike behavior or unpredictable episodes. She was simply the same old Nat you had always known, perhaps a bit more apprehensive, but still maintaining her usual chill and nonchalant demeanour. 

Nat and you had an unusual story, if you could even call it that. You first met during soccer practice, although you didn't interact much at the time. You held the co-captain position while Jackie excelled as the team's captain. Though you weren't as skilled at leading as Jackie was, you were known for being one of the kindest souls on the team, getting along with pretty much everybody — and of course, your skills on the field were top-notch, — which led to your selection as co-captain.

On the other hand, Nat wasn't as involved in the team dynamics as you were. She was a talented player and got along well with most of your teammates, but she spent most of her time hanging out with Kevyn or her own group of friends, usually getting high or drunk during school hours. The only moments you really shared with her were in the empty locker room, either before anyone else arrived or right after everyone else had left. Interestingly, many of your memories together involved her grabbing your ass and sticking her tongue in your mouth. Not that it bothered you in the slightest.

“Fuck Nat—,” you groaned faintly as the girl attacked your mouth with her tongue, tenderly biting your bottom lip. She was pressing you against the wall, and your hands were tangled in her hair as her hands slowly worked her way up your abdomen, seeking your breasts.

Just as she was about to grab them, a loud whistle from outside the locker rooms interrupted the moment, followed by a grunt from Nat.

"Fuck, we've got to go," you said hastily.

"Do we really?" she responded casually, pushing you harder against the wall and sliding her hands to your breasts, holding them tightly. She peppered open-mouthed kisses along your neck, eliciting soft moans from you. But mustering all your strength, you gently pushed her away.

"Yes, we do," you said, giving her a quick peck on the lips before darting out of the room. Glancing back at her, you motioned for her to follow. She rolled her eyes but quickly caught up with you.

Before the crash, you never imagined Nat and you would become close friends. In fact, if someone had told you that you would spend most of your time together, doing things and just hanging out, you would have probably laughed at them. Both of you came from completely different worlds, and while you didn't actively avoid each other, she was seen as an outcast while you were considered popular. The fact that the two of you were secretly involved with each other was already a big boundary crossed. But the crash changed everything. It not only took away your innocence, but also erased any social barriers that had previously prevented you from interacting.

And so you did.

The first time you interacted with each other was right after the crash. You woke up in the galley, trapped under a fallen food cart. Panicked and surrounded by the increasing flames, you struggled to free yourself. No matter how hard you pushed, the cart wouldn't budge in the narrow space. It felt like the end. But then, in a swift move, Nat appeared and managed to move the cart aside. She reached out her hand, and you grabbed it, escaping just seconds before an explosion engulfed the area.

You owed her your life, and a simple thank you didn't seem sufficient. So, you started assisting her with tasks and accompanying her on hunts, as a way to repay her. But what began as gratitude quickly became something more. Spending time together became your favourite activity. The more you talked, the closer you grew, finding solace and comfort in each other's company. Yet, you both consciously avoided discussing your pre-crash relationship, as if you had made an unspoken agreement to forget the past and start anew, as if you had only met in the aftermath of the crash.

However, you couldn't deny that sometimes you found yourself staring at her lips for longer than you should, or imagining the sensation of her hands against your skin. Even mundane tasks like watching her handle equipment or lift something heavy would trigger images of her effortlessly carrying you or holding you against a wall. Initially, you indulged in these memories, closing your eyes and relishing in them while trying to find release on your own. But as time went on, these memories intertwined with your growing feelings for her. What was once a simple burning in your core, started to evolve into butterflies in your stomach and a persistent ache in your heart.

So you stopped.

You made a conscious decision to stop dwelling on those thoughts. You went cold turkey, cutting off any mental imagery or fantasies that surpassed the boundaries of friendship. And so far, this self-imposed restraint seemed to be working.

It had been a chill day, with everyone finishing their tasks ahead of time and not much else to do but engage in conversations or let their minds wander. Jackie, as always, came up with an idea to make the evening more special. Instead of having dinner at the cabin as usual, she proposed building a cozy bonfire by the river and enjoying quality time together, reminiscent of the day of the plane crash when all of you gathered around a bonfire on that first night, sharing stories and laughing. Everyone readily agreed, and it was decided to meet at the designated spot once darkness had fully descended upon the sky.

As Shauna took charge of preparing the meat, Van and Tai pitched in by gathering wood for the bonfire. Lottie, Mari and you took on the task of gathering blankets to ensure everyone would be warm and comfortable. The remaining members of the group found various tasks to assist with, each contributing to the preparations in their own way.

When the moment arrived, all of you met at the designated spot and settled into your seats. Jackie positioned herself between Shauna and Lottie, and you found yourself sandwiched between Lottie and Nat. The rest of the team took their seats accordingly, creating a circle around the fire. Each person grabbed a stick and skewered a piece of meat, holding it above the flames to cook it to perfection before taking a bite.

"The things I'd do to have a working walkman right now," Tai said with a sigh, chewing a piece of her meat.

"It's okay, we’ve got Crystal to bless our ears, right you guys?" Van joked, making everyone chuckle, except Crystal, who blushed in embarrassment.

"What was that song Y/n was obsessed with? The one she always played in the shower after practice," Jackie asked while laughing at the memory.

"Wasn't it Pump Up The Jam?" Shauna asked, trying to remember.

"No, it was—" You got interrupted by Lottie and Nat, who spoke up at the same time.

"Be My Lover," both of them said with smiles on their faces. They looked at each other and chuckled when they realized they said the same thing. However, you noticed that Nat's smile fell too quickly to be genuine, but you didn't mention anything.

"And then she stopped listening to it because the last time she did, she slipped while dancing in the showers and pulled the curtain down with her as she fell," Van began, laughing loudly.

"And then Coach Ben walked in and saw her on the floor," Jackie finished, laughing along with everyone else.

“And now that image is forever ingrained in my memory,” Coach Ben said with a hint of humour, making a grimace.

“I thought we all agreed not to speak of this ever again,” you said with an embarrassed huff, unable to hide your growing smile.

For the rest of the evening, all of you continued to joke around and share stories, until all the meat had been eaten and the firewood was nearly depleted. Eventually, everyone returned to the cabin, ready to catch some sleep.

You had been lying down with your eyes closed for an hour already, but for some reason, sleep eluded you. Growing impatient, you wondered whether a walk to the lake could help you relax. 

In stark contrast to the city, the sky here remained untainted, free from any traces of pollution, affording you an unobstructed view of the shimmering stars. Not only that, but the hush and serenity of the night filled you with a sense of tranquility; there was something enchanting about being awake while the rest of the girls — and the world — slumbered.

While lost in thought, you caught a faint sound of sheets shifting. You turned to your left and saw Nat moving under the covers. She scratched her head, indicating that she was still awake. You moved closer to her and softly rested your hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump a little.

"Hey, Nat," you whispered, softly calling out her name, ensuring only she could hear you. She turned towards you, her weary eyes showing a hint of concern.

"What's up? You good?" she asked, her brow slightly furrowed.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just can't seem to fall asleep," you confessed, toying with the edge of the pillow using your fingers.

"Same here," she admitted, biting her lip.

"Wanna come outside with me?" you asked, a glimmer of excitement in your eyes.

"And do what?" she inquired, curiosity evident in her tone.

"Just come," you replied confidently. Without hesitation, you gingerly slid the blanket off your body and rose to your feet, moving stealthily towards the door, careful not to make a sound. Nat quietly trailed behind you, mirroring your every move.

As soon as you stepped outside, the autumn weather greeted you with a contrasting mix of warmth and a chilly breeze caressing your skin. Walking ahead, Nat followed closely behind you, the sound of fallen leaves crackling beneath your shoes as you made your way towards the lake.

"Are we heading to the lake?" Nat inquired.

"No, we're actually going to Seven Eleven," you responded in a sarcastic tone.

"Ha ha," she chuckled in the same tone, nudging your shoulder with a grin.

You continued walking until you reached the edge of the lake, coming to a halt. Closing your eyes and inhaling deeply, you felt a wave of relaxation wash over you, as if the scenery before you had a calming effect. Opening your eyes, you swiftly removed your pants, letting them fall to the ground, and proceeded to take off your shirt while making your way towards the water.

"It’s like three in the morning, Y/n. Are you insane?” She asked incredulously.

“What? You scared?” You playfully teased, dashing into the water.

She let out a huff, a chuckle escaping her lips as she watched you. Unable to resist the temptation, she stripped off her own clothes and followed closely behind you, a smile lighting up her face as she raced towards you.

As she drew closer, the water already lapping at both of your knees, she playfully gave you a shove, causing you to tumble into the water with her falling on top of you. Laughter erupted from both of you as you playfully wrestled in the water. Eventually, you managed to wriggle free from her grasp and swam farther into the lake, the water gradually rising until it reached your neck. It had a pleasant temperature, neither cold nor warm, just perfect.

Submerging your head underwater, you emerged with a graceful backward flick, water droplets cascading from your fluttering eyelashes. As your vision cleared, you spotted Nat floating in the water right in front of you. Her platinum-white hair floated gracefully around her head, her eyes peacefully closed, and her lips slightly parted as her breathing slowed down after all the splashing around. The moonlight above you cast a gentle glow, reflecting off her wet body, creating an ethereal illumination that highlighted her features.

Under the soft glow of the moon, her body appeared breathtakingly beautiful, captivating you completely. You found yourself unable to tear your gaze away, consumed by a feeling of longing. You swam closer to her, mirroring her position but facing the opposite direction, aligning your head next to hers. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and exhaled, relishing the gentle caress of the water against your body. The only sounds that filled the air were the rhythm of your breaths and the tranquil melodies of nature. Amidst the aftermath of the plane crash, there were small moments like this that held a special allure—dashing to a lake in the dead of night, immersing yourselves in the water, far from the flickering lights and urban clamour. It was just the two of you and the tranquil embrace of nature.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," you murmured, your voice filled with yearning. Nat simply hummed in response, fully engrossed in the moment and not even bothering to muster a reply.

A couple of minutes passed in peaceful silence before you broke it once again. "You were acting weird today," you remarked, your tone tinged with curiosity.

"What do you mean?" she asked calmly, her voice a little raspy from not having spoken for a while.

"I don't know, your energy just felt off," you explained. "You seemed somewhat uncomfortable when Lottie and you coincidentally named my song at the same time."

Her eyes slowly fluttered open at your words, unsure of how to respond. She gazed up at the twinkling stars, momentarily losing herself in their beauty.

"That's quite a specific observation," she chuckled lightly.

You joined in with a soft laugh. "I guess I just noticed." You started, "Whenever the three of us are together, you seem to grow tense, but I can't really explain it," you continued. "Did you and Lottie have a fight or something?"

"No, it's not that..." she replied, her voice laced with uncertainty.

"Then what is it?" you pressed, looking for an answer.

"I don't know," she replied, her voice uncertain. "I guess she's always talking about you and wanting to be around you," she trailed off.

"But we're best friends, isn't that normal?" you asked, genuinely puzzled.

"Well, yeah, but she's annoying about it," she continued, frustration creeping into her voice. "She acts like she knows you better than anyone else, and-"

You interrupted her. "So you're jealous," you said, a playful smile forming on your lips.

"What? No," she replied incredulously, chuckling nervously.

"Mhm," you teased.

"I am not jealous," she insisted, her voice firm.

"Then why are you blushing?" you asked, turning to look at her and noticing a faint red hue on her cheeks.

"What?" she exclaimed, her hand instinctively reaching up to touch her flushed cheeks. Realizing how warm they felt, she abruptly stopped floating and stood still, swiftly moving her hand and splashing water onto your face.

"Hey!" you exclaimed, water rushing up your nose. Coughing lightly, you stood up and retaliated by splashing water back at her. Anticipating your comeback, she quickly covered her face, but you managed to splash water at her again.

Laughter erupted from both of you as you continued wrestling in the water, playfully throwing water at each other. She reached for your arms to halt your assault, but you surprised her by submerging her head underwater briefly before releasing her.

"You little...," she laughed, coughing and rubbing her nose with her hand.

Seeking revenge, she pulled you closer, causing your legs to instinctively wrap around her as her hands gripped your waist tightly, and she sank the both of you beneath the water's surface. After a few seconds, your need for air grew too strong, and you began pushing her shoulder, signalling for her to surface, which she did.

With your legs still secured around her waist, you used your hands to push your wet hair back and rub your eyes. As your vision cleared, you rested your hands on her shoulders and suddenly realized how close you were. Your legs held tight, and you felt the lingering touch of her left hand on your body as she rubbed her eyes and nose with her other hand. When she finished, she met your gaze, slowly placing her hand back on your waist.

Both of you locked eyes, your breaths and heartbeats increasing in sync. The suppressed thoughts and desires you had kept hidden for so long began resurfacing, and this time, you made no attempt to suppress them. Her intense gaze lingered on you, her eyebrows slightly furrowed, her dilated pupils captivated you with each flutter of her wet eyelashes, and her half-open, moist lips tingled with anticipation. Fuck it, you thought. Without a second thought, you swiftly pressed your lips together in a passionate kiss, leaving no room to breathe. It was a slow and fervent kiss, conveying the depth of your longing and how much you had yearned for this moment, for her. Your hands traveled from her shoulders to her hair, while your lips captured her bottom lip, gently sucking on it. She loosened her grip and instead embraced you, pulling you closer against her body, craving the warmth of your body against hers. Reasserting her dominance, she lightly nibbled on your lip, silently asking for entrance. It only took a slight pressure of her centre against yours under the water for your mouth to part slightly, allowing her agile tongue to explore your mouth as you let out a groan. 

Your lips continued their rhythmic movements, growing plump and red, pulsating with a delightful ache, while your lungs screamed for much-needed air. Finally, the two of you reluctantly broke apart, the silence broken by your words.

"Fuck... You don’t know how much I've missed this," you confessed, locking eyes with her, your fingers tenderly caressing the nape of her neck.

"Me too," she breathed, her gaze fixated on your lips. Her hands moved from your waist to your cheeks, gently cupping them as she pulled you into another kiss, this time filled with tenderness and love. You wrapped your arms around her neck, drawing her closer, fully immersing yourself in the moment.

She pulled back slightly, her breath caressing your lips. "I'm so fucking jealous of Lottie," she admitted with a raspy voice. "She makes me so mad," she confessed, before capturing your lips in another soft kiss, laced with a hint of frustration. "I hate it when she makes you laugh," she murmured between kisses, "And I hate that she's always following you around like a lost puppy." She gave you one last kiss before pulling away, her face just a few centimeters away from yours, and using one of her thumbs to softly caress your swollen bottom lip.

Her words left you puzzled, but deep down, they were everything you had ever longed to hear from her. Gathering your thoughts, you responded, "Well, you don't have to worry about that too much."

She slowly shifted her gaze from your lips to your eyes, her brows furrowing slightly as she stared at you with a perplexed expression.

"Because I love you," you confessed, causing Nat's heart to skip a beat at your unexpected declaration.

"What?" she stammered, her eyes searching yours for any signs of deceit.

"I love you, Nat," you repeated, your voice brimming with sincerity and honesty. "I've loved you for so long that I honestly don't know how I've kept it to myself all this time," you confessed. "I love you," you reiterated once more.

"Fuck, Y/n," Nat uttered, her face reflecting disbelief and astonishment. "I love you too," she finally said, unable to contain her emotions, before pulling you into another tender kiss. The two of you stood there, savoring each other's embrace, only illuminated by the soft glow of the pale moonlight.

[zeezelweazel]

something about lottie getting mean towards reader bc reader is giving her the silent treatment after a big fight, and lottie feels like being mean is the only way to get her attention. and they end up having angsty sex ? 🤭🤭🤭

Lottie Matthews| Fool me once, fool me twice|

______________________________________

MEAN LOTTIE OMG

I love reading angsty sex but I've never written it before so I hope it's good. Also sorry this took quite some time

I kinda don't like how this turned out

TW: mild degradation, mentions of cheating, fingering (both receiving), afab female reader

____________________________________________________

The girls knew that having so many couples within the friend group ment that when a fight between them inevitably happens chaos endures. It happens with Shauna and Jackie all the time. Tai and Van too, sometimes. But it was never you and Lottie. You were the sweet couple known for communication and being honest and open with eachother.

But not this time. She was hiding something from you. It was obvious, with the way she seemed to be so set on stopping you from opening the second drawer on her bedside table. You weren't snooping around, obviously not. She told you to find her old necklace and in her words ' it's somewhere in my bedside table '.

She appeared out of thin air when you went to open the second drawer and immediately closed it shut. She looked at you with an expression you couldn't quite place.

"You can't open that drawer."

You were confused. Lottie never got defensive or possessive over anything. Plus you two don't have any secrets... Right?

"Why?"

The conversation escalated into a fight as both of you started yelling. The fight ended with you leaving Lottie's house and slamming the door.

The next few days were more than awkward. You were set on ignoring Lottie even if Van told you time and time again that it was probably nothing. What if she was hiding some other girl's fucking underwear in there?

Lottie decided to give you some space. But after a week you were still avoiding her, not even sparing her a glance much less speak to her.

She was getting frustrated. It was unfair how you expected her to let you in in every aspect of her life. She was acting like a child she knew that much, but she couldn't just sit by and watch you slowly detach yourself from her.

It was probably not the best way to get your attention but it was the only way Lottie could think of. So she started being mean to you. Saying out of pocket things when you were doing absolutely nothing. She had something bitchy to say every time you saw her.

It was getting on your nerves.

The glass spilled during a scrimmage. You hadn't played so well on your last game so you wanted to train as hard as you could. If only Lottie would just shut up. She has a comment for every little mistake that you made. After you missed an easy pass and she straight up laughed at you, you just stormed off the pitch practically running to the locker room.

"Lottie what the fuck?! I don't care if you two broke up or whatever but we're a team. Go and make this right. You won't cone back on this pitch unless Y/N is with you."

Jackie has had enough of your shit. Someone has to get you two to short it out. Lottie grumbled and started jogging towards the locker room.

You had tears of anger in your eyes as you threw your stuff in your bag. You are so done with Lottie fucking Matthews. Next time you see ger in front of you, you swear you'll slap her.

"Hey."

You sharply turned around to meet her eyes. Lottie was awkwardly staring at you, like a child who was forced to apologize by their mom. You scoffed and continued packing your things.

"Oh so now you stop ignoring me."

Lottie was thinking of what to say until she noticed you walking towards the door. She quickly stepped in front of you, her much taller frame completely blocking the door. You look up at her hoping that your glare would be enough to discourage her and make her step away from the exit. Of course Lottie being the stubborn bitch that she is, she didn't budge an inch.

You push her against the wall, your hands tightly fisting the collar of her shirt. Your bodies are pressed together and you swear you can feel her heart beating wildly against your breasts.

You haven't touched her in weeks. Spoken to her in weeks. And yet here you are. Faces only inches away, hands itching to touch and grope, eyes locked together intensely.

It happens faster than a lighting bolt hitting the earth but the scorching heat it leaves behind is all the same. Your lips are crashing together, hot and wet and angry and your hands are returning to familiar territory, on the sides of her neck and her biceps and then they slip under her shirt.

Neither of you pull back, the stupidity of the situation clear to the both of you, instead your panting breaths mix together and fog your brains even more. The hazy atmosphere turns toxic when Lottie takes the liberty of pushing her hands under your bra to find pebbled nipples.

You hiss and gasp under her hands. She still makes you shiver with every touch. You almost melt into her arms but then you remember. How she was being a bitch to you for no reason, how she got under your skin on purpose.

You don't waste any time. Your hand shoves it's way down her shorts and find her wet and desperate. She throws her head back and you almost wince when it loudly bangs against the door.

"Oh, fuck, Y/N."

You missed her. You missed her whines and her breathless pleas and how she clenches around your finger every time you stroke her clit. You missed how she strokes your breast while her hand caresses your inner thigh. How she enters with two fingers because she already knows how wet you are.

Your hands are hurried and your breaths are mingled with eachother. You're both still half dressed and you look at Lottie and you know she's close and you are too. You reach your peak together and your thigs are shaking and Lottie's legs give out and suddenly you're both panting on the floor.

After the lust frenzy dies out you realise that you've just had sex with your girlfriend who's been relentlessly mean to you for the past few days. You glare at her and she awkwardly stares at the ground.

"You have a ton shit to explain Matthews. But first I need a very long apology."

____________________________________________________

[tumblingxelian]

Crossposting from SV:

https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/iwiw-rwby.125050/post-32676154

Regarding the expectation of perfection, yeah, I don't think the team expected it. The one who could be arguably said to have put the most "pressure" on Ruby is Blake as we saw in V8, but having faith in someone isn't the same as demanding perfection. & Blake showed she was fine stepping up and trying to help or support Ruby when she needed it.

The others applied even less pressure, at least knowingly, but none of them are aware of how Ruby had internalized Ozpin's lesson (& from what I know of Coco Second Semester does not make his lessons better)

But Ruby definitely took a lot of these things to heart in a way likely never intended. & more to the point that likely wouldn't be nearly as bad if not for the trauma conga-line the last volumes have been.

For instance in V8 Ruby does seem briefly hurt by Yang noting that following her lead hasn't worked out, but Yang's language is still rather casual, this isn't her trying to deliver some cutting barb to wound Ruby's pride. & given their reunion in V8 it didn't have a lasting impact... Up until V9 landed because with everything that went wrong, suddenly those words pack a lot more sting.

In regards to Yang & Ruby in particular, one thing I find interesting is that in early volumes, even after Ozpin's leader talk Ruby was more comfortable showing uncertainty, discomfort, fragility and the like.

Especially around Yang. She was sulking in V2 about Blake not coming to the dance and feeling overtly helpless, she was fine with being uncertain about her decision to reveal the WF's location to Ozpin & co, also in V2.

But more integrally, in Volume 3, after everything had gone to hell what is the first thing Ruby did once she could move under her own power?

Was it go to her dad for comfort? Seek Qrow for advice? nope, those two came to her, with Tai mostly being used for an intel update and Qrow being prodded for info, and only seeing a flash of vulnerability.

The person Ruby went to was Yang, Yang who she was surprised to find wasn't in a good head-space, and who when Ruby asked what to do couldn't answer her, seemingly leaving Ruby unsure of what to do. In essence, there have been periods where Ruby also expected others to be more sturdy than they could otherwise be expected to be. This isn't a jab, just an observation.

More integrally however, in V4 we see Ruby really hit hard on the repressing.

Oh she did it before, the fact she's modelled her entire persona after her missing mother and was raised by a girl two years her senior should already make it clear she's gonna have some issues. But it becomes a lot more overt with her being all smiles around JNPR but sad when unseen until she's hitting a breaking point. One that is... Sort of countered though of questionable help by being told she's inspiring.

The time we really see it break in in Volume 5 when Yang & Ruby reunited, she cries, she fumbles her words, she gets a damn hug.

But then, the next day, she sees that Yang is not nearly as recovered as she's trying to act. When Yang is upset & removes herself from the situation to calm down and mourn silently, its Weiss who has to help her out of it, because Ruby has no idea what to do.

That's not just her sister in there, its the girl who raised her, & this stuff is not Ruby's forte, but more integrally, Yang is the one who has always been 'all right', the one who Ruby could turn to whenever she needed and who she never had to worry about in combat.

But she's not OK the one person Ruby could always rely on is more fragile than Ruby ever realized, and so clearly, Ruby can't go to Yang with her problems either.

& thus closes her final person to really, properly, well and truly reach out to.

& the thing is Yang would have no idea this is happening!

She didn't hear Ozpin's speech, or Ruby re-phrasing it. She wasn't present when Ruby was really building her walls in V4, and any that existed before that will have been interwoven with Yang's own issues and thus be something she deemed as normal the same way Ruby deemed Yang's self sacrificing penchant as normal.

Put simply, Yang isn't aware that Ruby's mental image of her has shifted and so is not aware that Ruby no longer sees her as someone viable to reach out to.

None of which is helped by the fact Yang canonically admires Ruby and so is prone to see the best, strongest, most idealized side of her, and so like Ruby would need to be told Ruby needs help before keying into it.

Both these girls are very traumatized and damaged and they care about each other so god damn much, but also just cannot wholly see one another.

Its agony, I love it.

[bestworstcase]

"There is no victory in strength."

"And Yang was strength."

I wonder if this is some "subtle" foreshadowing for something later?

oh i have some THOUGHTS about this

first: see this post regarding salem's V1 monologue. the key point to keep in mind for this discussion is that she begins by naming several qualities of mankind—strength, wisdom, resourcefulness, passion, and ingenuity—so her concluding statement implies its own inverse: 

"mankind was strong, wise, and resourceful, but he was born into an unforgiving world […] in time, man's passion, resourcefulness, and ingenuity led them to the tools that would help even the odds […] but take heed: there will be no victory in strength," i.e. "victory lies in these other four qualities." 

so what does this have to do with yang?

in V2: yang gets slapped by the paladin prototype, and when blake calls out to her in a panic, ruby stops her: "don't worry! with each hit she gets stronger, and she uses that energy to fight back. that's what makes her special."

in V3: after her disqualification from the tournament, qrow passes on raven's message to yang ("she saved you once, but you shouldn't expect that kindness again") after she tells him she saw her mom ("i- i was in a lot of trouble, took a pretty hard hit"), then follows up with "you're a tough egg, kiddo; shouldn't let this tournament thing get you down."

in V4: tai tells yang that she, like raven, "act[s] like the easiest way to tackle an obstacle is through it: that strength is all that matters in a fight," which he implies is the fatal flaw of raven's that "tore our team apart and […] did a real number on our family," even though "raven was great in so many ways: her strength, her ambition, her dedication." 

in V5: blake describes yang to sun as "[the embodiment of] strength."

also in V5: yang confronts raven in the vault under haven academy and, when raven calls herself strong, snaps back: "oh, shut up! you don't know the first thing about strength! you turn your back on people, you run away when things get hard, you put others in harms way instead of yourself! you might be powerful, but you're not strong."

in V6: blake reassures yang by telling her "adam's strong, but his real power comes from control."

also in V6: adam taunts yang: "moment of truth, yang! do you think you're faster than you were at beacon? …heh. me neither," and after catching his weapon she retorts, "i may not be faster, but i'm smarter." (<- put a pin in this one, it's important.)

in V8: yang falls, blake fails to catch her, and it's the hit she can't come back from—it doesn't make her stronger, it just plunges her into the void to her apparent death.

in V9: when they catch up with yang, she's performing strength ("i said i wasn't done with you yet!") but in reality she's exhausted, barely able to stand. later, blake describes her like this: "you're an extraordinary person. you're always the first to lighten a situation; you act bravely when you're afraid; you do what you say."

ok. 

there are a few threads to unwind here.

first let's unpin what adam says to yang during their final duel: "do you think you're faster than you were at beacon?" not "stronger." not "tougher." faster.

ruby tells blake that strength is what makes yang special. qrow tells yang she's too tough to let one "slip-up" bring her down. her father thinks she relies too much on her strength. before their reunion, blake sees yang as the living personification of strength.

but just as a younger blake was wrong about adam being "justice" or "passion," she's wrong about yang being "strength," and adam is actually—ironically enough—the first character besides yang herself to notice that strength is not what yang is about. he taunts her for not being fast enough. 

speed. agility. not just in the sense that yang is a very nimble combatant, but she's emotionally agile—look at how she handles herself and her feelings during fraught confrontations with blake in V2 or raven in V5. she's a self-described thrill-seeker, but she also worries about being too rootless. her biggest setbacks all come from rushing—and her big wins all come from outmaneuvering her opponents, whether physically or emotionally. she's strong, but strength is not what she is.

keeping that in mind, the second thread to follow is the difference between strength and power. yang tells raven "you might be powerful, but you're not strong." blake tells yang that adam is "strong, but his real power comes from control," from getting into people's heads and making them feel small. when ruby and tai and blake talk about yang's strength (and when blake talks about adam being strong), they mean raw physical strength—but that's not what yang means when she talks about strength. in yang's terms, raw physical strength is just power. her semblance makes her powerful; it doesn't make her strong. 

yang defines strength as the choice to put others ahead of oneself, even and especially when it's hard. 

in the ever after, blake says that yang uplifts others (always the first to lighten a situation), that she's brave, that she has integrity. between V5 and V9, after reconciling with yang and going through the harrowing experience of of fighting adam with her, blake sees the vulnerability behind the brave mask yang puts on for her loved ones. her perception of yang at beacon was colored both by her adam trauma and by the way ruby saw yang as invulnerable, unshakable. since then she's come to see yang as she truly is: caring, brave, and honest. she sees and loves the kind of strength that yang values.

third thread: the really crucial piece is what kind of strength is salem referring to? 

and the answer is that she's talking about power, explicitly in contrast to what she sees as humanity's true strengths: wisdom, resourcefulness, passion, ingenuity, and hope. in V1, salem credits hope as the reason mankind was not wiped out (again) by the grimm and names "passion, resourcefulness, and ingenuity" as the qualities that allowed them to find a way to survive against the odds. then, "nature's wrath in hand, man lit their way through the darkness, and in the shadow's absence came strength, civilization, and most importantly, life."

in this story salem tells about the beginning of the world, strength is one of the fruits of mankind's triumph, something that could only develop after the darkness had been beaten and pushed back. when she gives her warning—"there will be no victory in strength"—she names "your guardians" and "your monuments" explicitly. 

to be precise, she is talking about the maidens ("a guardian is a symbol of comfort"), amity coliseum("it was decided that the tournament would need a stage equal in greatness to that of its competitors. amity coliseum was the culmination of four kingdom's efforts: a technological marvel and a shining symbol of harmony, capable of making the journey to all the kingdoms of remnant"—but note that menagerie is excluded from the vytal festival), and atlas ("the people of mantle needed a sign of a brighter future, and that sign was atlas; a city in the clouds is as bright as it gets").

those things represent ozpin's definition of strength: technological marvels, shining symbols of harmony and comfort, a girl who is "strong, caring, and intelligent" enough to make the people feel safe. and of course outside of these soliloquies, the word salem uses is power—and she warns cinder, twice, in no uncertain terms that power will not make her strong: "it is because of the maiden's power. […] your newfound strength brings with it a crippling weakness" and "you will have the power i promised you, but remember that it comes with a cost."

now back to yang: she and salem share this mindset, this clear delineation between true strength and mere power. salem tries to impress it upon cinder; yang's power blinds her family to her true strength, which blake learns to see clearly as they become partners, and she is placed in juxtaposition with adam, raven, and cinder—all of whom are powerful but not strong. 

and, like salem, the way yang is perceived (that her power is what makes her special, and she thinks physical strength is all that matters in a fight) does not align with how yang sees herself or what she values: yang takes pride in being able to face her fears, speak the truth, put others before herself, and outwit her foes; she likes that blake has never been intimidated by her, and she admires blake's dedication and willingness to forgive. 

salem values wisdom, i.e. experiential knowledge—yang tells her past self that her losses and failures "more than anything are what have shaped me into who i am, showed me how i need to grow." salem values passion—yang is passionate in everything she does and likewise admires the passion she sees in blake. "you know what matters to you." salem values resourcefulness and ingenuity—yang revels in outsmarting people who underestimate her, as they often do, and flat out tells adam that she may not be faster than him, but she is smarter, then throws his weapon to bait him into running right into blake's punch.

yang values courage—salem fomented rebellion against the fucking gods and vowed to keep fighting even after they crushed her like an ant, and rewards cinder for defying her, and disdains lionheart for being a coward. yang values honesty—salem explodes when people lie to her and loathes ozma for his deceit. yang values compassion—salem built her whole rebellion on the premise that no one else should have to suffer as she did. yang values cleverness—salem cultivates spies and meticulously prepares to stack the deck in her favor before making a move.

"the ability to derive strength from hope is undoubtedly mankind's greatest asset," says salem. "even the smallest spark of hope is enough to ignite change."

"look, blind optimism isn't great, but no optimism means we've already lost; we need hope. we need to take risks," says yang. 

aside from blake, all of team rwby repeat salem in some way: weiss is the girl who frees herself from her tower, ruby the idealist who sees how broken the world is and takes it upon herself to fix it, inspiring the world to strive with her. (blake repeats ozma: the warrior who fights for justice, but her journey is the inverse of his: her ideals are corrupted by adam's spite in the beginning and she leaves him behind in pursuit of true justice.) but yang is salem's heart. 

(<- the reversal in how blake sees yang before/after they reunite at haven and defeat adam together is a fractal-ozlem thing, by the way: the inflection point occurs in 6.5 when yang opens up about her flashbacks and blake sees her hands shaking. the maiden's tears restore her prince's sight—yang allows blake to see how scared she is, and blake recognizes how badly yang needs blake to be there for her, to stay.)

WHICH IS HYSTERICAL BECAUSE,

"all this endless death, because something bad happened to you once upon a time? no one gets a fairytale ending! everything i've lost, every person i've lost, is because of you!"

yang is being deliberately provocative here. her intention is to redirect salem's boiling fury from oscar to herself, to protect oscar. she is trying to piss salem off, and while she succeeds in distracting salem from oscar, she completely fails to make salem angry—instead, salem calms down.

why?

the anger and scorn yang throws in salem's face here are completely genuine, but as i said before, yang's emotional agility—her control over her emotions—is unparalleled. she does not "lose her temper" (and on the rare occasion she snaps without meaning to, she reins it in lightning fast). she lets it out. so in this scene, yang makes a calculated choice to yell at salem. to get angry.

now, we've seen her do this once before—and by "this" i mean specifically the choice to get mad enough to verbally explode at somebody—and that was during her last confrontation with raven. 

"oh, shut up! you don't know the first thing about strength! you turn your back on people, you run away when things get hard, you put others in harm's way instead of yourself! you might be powerful, but you're not strong."

i think yang is not quite as in control of her feelings in this scene with raven, because the wounds are very personal and very raw, but nevertheless she is making a deliberate choice to let her anger come out because—again—she's trying to make raven mad. if raven decides she's leaving with the lamp, yang can't actually stop her. she knows that. she also knows raven isn't going to listen to an appeal to join them, so her only real option is to upset raven enough to make her abandon the lamp (and yang) (…again). 

so that's what she does! yang asks questions and needles raven on her answers until raven starts to react emotionally ("i survived because i'm strong enough to do what others won't!"), and yang pounces on that. shut up, you don't know the first thing about strength. she goes right for the throat, attacks the thing at the center of all raven's rationalizations. and raven fucking shatters.

this is what yang tries to do to salem. "why do you keep coming back?" -> "why do YOU!?"—raven says "i'm strong," yang goes "shut up, that's bullshit, no you're not." salem says "why do you keep coming back," yang hears salem playing the victim and goes "shut up, that's bullshit, your suffering isn't special" because she guesses—based on what she's been told about salem, and what she just heard salem say to ozma—that salem has built her sense of self around victimhood in the same way that raven built hers around "being strong."

only. it doesn't work this time.

because salem is just like yang.

just like yang, salem prizes courage and conviction and abhors liars. she makes the same distinction between genuine strength and mere power, and values power not at all. 

she also, just like yang, keeps her anger firmly in check. when salem yells and slams her hands down or flips a table to intimidate someone, or threatens cinder with the hound, or tortured oscar, that is a choice she is making to let her anger out. the one time salem actually loses her temper, she sends everyone else out of the room, waits for the door to close, makes what appears to be a herculean effort to hold it in (<- the air boils), and then explodes all the windows.

this tactic of yang's depends on her opponent not having her level of emotional control. but that isn't the only reason she completely fails to get a rise out of salem; look at salem's reaction:

<- "why do you keep coming back?"—this is genuine fury. teeth bared, crushing oscar's head with her nails digging in behind his ears.

<- "because something bad happened to you once upon a time?"—she's nonplussed. it's not even that salem's too in control of her anger for yang to provoke her, salem is legitimately thrown for a loop by this line of attack. yang misses the mark by such a wide margin that it knocks salem out of her anger altogether. she was seething about ozma sacrificing children for the god to whom he debases himself in blind obedience, why is this child yelling about fairytales. what.

it's telling, i think, that salem does not, in any way, dispute the premise that her own suffering does not justify the suffering she causes or that she is personally responsible for yang's losses. neither of those ideas challenge or threaten salem's self-identity, and in fact the only response she does make is to ask who she took from yang. (<- implicitly conceding that she is responsible for ruining yang's life, or at least that she might be.) 

she and yang are Very Alike.

(this is also why yang has such pronounced paralleling with cinder. by the way. two halves of salem's psyche. fire as hope, fire as wrath.)

anyway

the point of yang vis-a-vis "there will be no victory in strength" is to clarify and articulate the distinction salem makes between power (which neither character values) and strength (which they do, and define as the sum of many virtues). both of them are positioned in counterpoint to ozpin, who trusted only in power and symbols of power (the maidens, amity, atlas), and ruby, who mistakes power for strength and is on a journey that puts both her power (silver eyes) and her strength (hope) to the test.

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

Wyatt & Uncle Trav's Adventures - Paris II

Just a little something with no angst, no drama, just fluff - don't take too serious 🤍

Wyatt opens her eyes, the first thing she sees is both uncle Trav and Taylor looking at her, smiling from both their ears at her. Uncle Trav is gently tickling her feet under the blanket and it makes her giggle slightly, pulling her feet away even though she feels so so sleepy still. Usually, it’s always Ellie who doesn’t like to get up early but never her. She’s an early bird, her dad likes to say, which usually means that she’s the one getting to wake Bennie and Ellie in the mornings. But this time, there’s no Ellie or Bennie to wake up. This time, there’s only uncle Trav and Taylor, a real life princess.

“Taylor!” the little girl says with sleep in her voice, obviously excited to see her auntie again. She still can’t believe that uncle Trav is going to marry Taylor. A true princess. She knows she’s a real princess because her mom has showed her pictures of Taylor singing on stage with a princess dress. She can’t believe she’s lucky enough to get to call Taylor her auntie soon enough.

Taylor just smiles at the little girl looking at her in awe, gently stroking over her head while kneeing in front of the little bed. It’s been an hour since the timer went off this morning and she and Travis had been able to enjoy some time in bed just the two, cuddling, talking, making up for all the mornings they had to wake up alone in these past two weeks. She wanted to let the girl sleep as long as possible, knowing she must be completely tired and worn out from her travel. After all, this is the first time in her life that she’s waking up in a new time zone, and Taylor and Travis want to make this transition as smooth as possible. 

“Hi Wy! I missed you so so much.” Taylor says and Wyatt slowly sits up, reaching her arms out to hug Taylor. It makes Travis smile from the other end of her little bed, but he just quietly watches the two girls hug, not saying a word. 

“Welcome to Paris, honey.” she says into the hug, her hand landing on the little head, gently swaying back and forth with her for a while. 

“How’d you sleep Wy?” Travis says now, feeling his heart expand in size just from witnessing the woman he loves be so gentle with his niece. She still knees in front of Wyatt’s bed, now slowly ending the hug while holding her little hand to give the girl some space to wake up properly.

“Good.” she says, a big yawn escaping her once more. 

“Oh you must be so tired still, mhm?” Tay says, but the little girl just shakes her head, and it makes the two adults laugh a little. Of course she’s too excited to be in Paris than to admit that she’s lacking sleep.

“How about… we go get ready, have some lunch by the Eiffel Tower and then… we have a surprise for you.” Taylor says with her eyes wide open out of excitement, doing her best to hype the little girl up. The toddler looks back and forth from her uncle to Taylor. Travis just chuckles at Wyatt’s face full of confusion, and Taylor slowly gets up. 

“Take a guess what the surprise is, Wy?” Trav says then, is now sitting down on the side of her children’s bed while Taylor is rumbling through her suitcase. 

“A dinosaur.” she mumbles shyly, but still smiling from ear to ear. Travis laughs once and Tay comes back to the two, both her hands behind her back. 

“Mhm, not quite. But it’s gonna be something we’ll do today. Take a guess what we’ll do here in Paris today, Wy.” Trav gently says to her, but the little toddler just looks back between Taylor and him in confusion. 

“Taylor’s concert.” she says then , and Taylor smiles but shakes her head. 

“That’s tomorrow, girlie. Do you have another idea what we could be doing today?” he says, but Wyatt shruggs her shoulders, more than confused. 

The blonde woman in front of her laughs once more, then takes her hands from behind her back and places a pair of Mickey Mouse ears on her own head. Travis gasps in excitement while looking at Wyatt but she doesn’t seem to get it quite yet. 

“Is that Mickey Mouse, Wy?” he says. 

“We are…. going to…. Disneyland Paris!” Taylor says full of excitement and Wyatt starts smiling slowly. It seems that the little girl needed some time to realize what is happening, but she giggles all excitedly as Taylor takes the Mickey Mouse ears off her own head and instead places them right on top of Wyatt’s head. 

“Disney?” she asks, smiling big. 

“Yeah, we’re going to Disneyland Paris.” Taylor confirms once more and Wyatt smiles some more.

“I’ve never been to Disneyland Paris.” she says and Trav can’t help but laugh at his little niece. Taylor joins him and nods, her hands immediately landing on those two little chubby cheeks. 

“I know honey, and we haven’t been either. That’s why we’re going. Are you excited?”

“Yeah.” she nods, all smiley, reaching for the Mickey Mouse ears in her hair and taking a good look at them. Travis smiles. He knows Wyatt still needs a bit to warm up to both him and Taylor but he can see that she’s excited for this adventure. 

“Is Mickey going to be there?” she asks and Taylor nods. 

“Yeah I think so. And I’m sure we’ll also meet some Disney princesses as well. Who are you most excited for?” Taylor asks her and Wyatt starts moving on her bed. She’s giggling nervously and Taylor knows that the surprise was a success already. 

“Elsa and Ana. But they live in our Disneyland so…” 

“Oh you mean the Disneyland Orlando?” Trav then says and Wyatt nods with a concerned face. 

“But they go visit the other Disneylands too, sometimes. So we might still be lucky and meet them today.” he says and the little girl’s concern seems to have disappeared immediately. 

“Is Taylor also coming to the Disneyland?” Wyatt then asks again, looking from uncle Trav back to Taylor. 

“Of course I’m coming as well. And maybe my dad Scott is also coming. And my mom and Austin. Do you remember Austin?” she asks and Wyatt nods slowly. Taylor looks at Travis and he smiles the same smile back at her. They got the little girl excited and distracted enough to not think about the fact that mom and dad won’t be joining today. A first success for the day. 

“Alright, how about we get your teeth brushed quickly, pick a nice outfit before heading to breakfast?” Taylor asks and Wyatt nods. Trav just looks at Taylor with a question mark on his face, not sure how involved he should be getting now. 

“Do you want me to..”

“No, don’t worry, babe. We got it.” She says, walking into the bathroom together with little Wyatt on her hand. Travis just watches the two disappear in the bathroom, hearing Wyatt’s little voice through the closed bathroom door and it makes him laugh again, before getting up from the little bed and getting ready for the day himself. 

“Do you think we will also meet Olaf, Taylor?” 

~

“Oh my gosh, Wy, look. It’s the Eiffel Tour.” Taylor says, pointing to the floor to ceiling windows at the end of this restaurant on the twenty-eighth floor of the luxury building. Even Andrea gasps for a moment when she sees their round table for lunch, right by the windows with an astonishing view over the city. In her sixty-six years of life, she’s never seen the Eiffel Tower so big, so close and in all its glory. 

“Oh my god, this is….beautiful.” Taylor just looks at Travis in shock, her hand still in Wyatt’s while walking up to the big table together with her family. 

“I know, it’s stunning.” he says, more to himself, not really looking at the Eiffel Tower that much but primarily being focused on the beautiful woman on his side, and her excited face right next to him. He knows he’s completely and utterly whipped, but that won’t stop him from admitting to himself one more time how lucky he is. How lucky he is to call the woman in her summer dress with his niece on her hand his future wife. He still experiences these moments, in which he feels the need to pinch himself. But it’s real. This is as real as it gets. 

As soon as the family approaches the table, Travis helps pull out a chair between him and Taylor for Wyatt to sit in. Austin, Scott and Andrea are all sitting down, and Taylor just helps Wyatt get comfortable on the chair. This restaurant is way too fancy for a child. He noticed the second they walked in with her security that Wyatt is the only child in the room. 

“Do you want to sit between Trav and me?” Taylor asks once more, and Wyatt just nods, struggling to get comfy on the chair between her uncle and auntie. Travis looks at Tay, both sharing the same thought. The little girl is way too small for this chair, almost struggles to see anything over the table cloth. 

“I’ll go ask for a chair.” Trav immediately says, leaving the table and Tay just looks at her parents and back to Wyatt with a smile on her face. 

“Uncle Trav is getting you a better chair, sweetheart.” she mumbles and Wyatt nods, her mermaid Barbie still in her hand from before. She seems way too distracted by the adventures that her Barbie is currently experiencing than to even notice the Eiffel Tower right next to her. 

“How did you find this place?” Austin asks, has already taken out his phone, same as Scott and Andrea, to snap a few pictures of this unbeatable view. 

“Trav was here before, I think. It’s so awesome, isn’t it?” she smiles, suddenly can’t help but suppress a laugh when seeing her fiancé walk back to the table. The huge man is carrying something that looks like a children’s car seat. Not just a few guests look at him in confusion.

“I guess this is the French version of a high chair.” he laughs and so does the rest of the table. 

“Interesting.” Scott just mumbles. Taylor has now helped Wyatt crawl onto her lap while watching Travis try to figure out how to properly attach the children’s seat to the chair. After a minute and with the help of Scott, he seems to have figured it out and takes Wyatt from Tay, helping her sit down on the chair again. 

“Is this so much better?” Andrea smiles at the little girl, and Wyatt just nods smiling, obviously proud to now be able to see everyone around the table. Travis laughs, and Taylor does the same. She opens the menu, just like everyone else, then reaches with her hand for Wyatt’s little back. 

“Wy, what do you want to eat?” she asks her gently, already worried that this restaurant is mostly offering delicacies. Not really the type of food that a four year old likes to eat. 

“Pizza.” she says loudly and Trav looks at Taylor concerned but definitely amused by her enthusiasm.

“Girlie, we’re at a French restaurant. Pizza is Italian. I’ll ask but I’m not sure they’ll have that.” he says gently, and Wyatt looks at him a little sadder than before. He knows Jason told him not to spoil her too much, but this moment right here almost already breaks his heart. 

“Don’t you like eating Grilled Cheese? Last time I saw you, you and Ellie were munching some toasties with grilled cheese, remember?” Taylor now steps in, clearly doing her best to keep the toddler happy. So far, Wyatt hasn’t thrown a single tantrum yet and she would like to keep it that way for as long as possible. The toddler looks at Taylor and nods.

“I’m sure they’ll have a kids menu, honey. These restaurant usually always do.” Andrea now says and Taylor nods. 

Kids menus. Children’s seats. There’s so many things you need to think of. She definitely hasn’t gotten used to this yet. And she can see in Travis’ face that he didn’t either. It takes a good ten minutes for them to order some food, and to Taylor’s surprise, the kitchen actually has a wide variety of children’s food options. 

For a moment, Taylor just feels herself getting lost in her own world, both her eyes on the city of Paris beneath her feet. All it takes sometimes is a moment like this to remember how lucky she is to get to live this life. No matter how hard and chaotic it can get, sometimes it all just feels so right. She turns her head around to face the table again, taking a sip from her water. Wyatt is playing with her Barbie again and her parents are laughing about something Austin just said. She looks around the restaurant, loves to people watch for a while, as she suddenly feels Trav’s eyes on her. He doesn’t say anything, just sits there, both his hands folded on the white table cloth, smiling at her. She can’t help but smile back at him. Sometimes, they really don’t have to say anything. 

“What?” she asks quietly, and he just shakes his head smiling some more. 

“I can’t remember last time you were sitting so far away from me.” he murmurs quietly under his breath, quiet enough to make sure that the only person who could possibly hear him in this moment is the toddler sitting between them, who just hums quietly while being in her own little world. 

Taylor smiles at him, loves to be reminded that this man can be as clingy as she is as times. This is truly the first time she’s dating someone who craves her touch as much as she does. A weird but beautiful feeling to know that the other person in this relationship is feeling exactly the same. She still feels a sense of sadness overcome her when she realizes that she’s never had that before. In all of her thirty-three years of life, this is the first time she gets to feel this way. Safe. Loved. Accepted, just the way she is. 

Taylor doesn’t say anything, just places her hand on the table as well, reaching for his. For a moment they get closer, kissing each other gently, right over Wyatt’s head. God, how much she’s missed this man. How much she missed having this goofy and smiley soul around, who just instantly makes everything better. 

“Eww.” 

Taylor suddenly hears Wyatt say mid-kiss and it immediately makes the whole table chuckle.

“Uhm excuse me missy?” Travis just says jokingly to his niece, who still innocently plays with her Barbie. Andrea and Scott are laughing at the child as well who clearly, by the look on her face, meant every word she just said. 

“It’s yucky.” she says again and Taylor is laughing out loud.

“What? Kissing?” 

Wyatt nods and the table is more than amused. 

“I agree, Wyatt. It’s really yucky. They just do it all the time.” Austin then says in Wyatt’s support, pretending to be just as weirded out by the couple as she is, and Taylor just rolls her eyes at her brother. 

“Why is it yucky when two people who love each other…” Travis doesn’t get to finish his sentence, because Wyatt already interrupts him. 

“Because my mom and dad also do it and it’s just very yucky, uncle Trav.” she says dead serious and her face is not even cracking up a little bit. 

“I get it, girlie. Sorry.” Trav then says and just smiles quietly at his niece. His hand wanders to her small head and he starts asking her what exactly she’s playing with her mermaid Barbie. Wyatt starts telling him that the little Olaf in her other hand is the mermaid’s best friend and her uncle if he wants to be Olaf while she plays the mermaid. Of course, Travis starts to mimick his best Olaf impression and starts playing along with the four year old. 

Taylor really wants to just fall into a conversation with her family, but it’s hard. It’s hard to focus on anything else but Travis playing with the napkin and the Olaf in his hand. Her entire stomach is full of butterflies suddenly, and she can’t help but stare at the man next to her. This is the moment she just knows. This is the exact second she could feel some sort of assurance in her bones that this is exactly where she needs to be, for the rest of her life. This is the man who’s going to give her the kind of family she’s always wanted. This is the kind of energy she wants for her children. 

For a moment, she swallows, taken back by the heavy weight of those feelings. Her eyes suddenly meet her mom’s, by accident. But the sparkle in her eyes and the quiet smile on her face says it all. 

She knows, too. 

She knew it from the beginning. 

~

“Are you tired, sweetie?” Taylor whispers into Wyatt’s ear, crouching down right behind the little girl to whisper into her ear. Wyatt is just standing right by one of the fences in front of one of the main attractions of the day, still looking in awe at all the dressed up princesses in their beautiful gowns who are greeting all the kids who want to go for a ride on the flying tea cups. After an hour of waiting in line, Taylor had been able to take lots of picture of Wyatt and Trav together with Ana and Elsa before boarding one of the tea cups. Taylor is sure that she now has a whole selection on her camera with some of the cutest pictures she’s ever taken in her life. But she’s noticed a while ago that Wyatt kept getting quieter and quieter. After all, she must still be jetlagged and also didn’t have her usual afternoon nap. Travis had suspected a few minutes ago that after the past three hours in this amusement park, Wyatt has reached her limits. While standing in the burning sun, he just looks at Taylor gently hugging Wyatt and he loves how patient she is with the little girl. How empathetic she is. 

He could have never imaged taking his little niece for an overnight trip to Europe if it hadn’t been for Taylor and how incredible she really is with little children. 

“No.” Wyatt mumbles. 

“Are you thirsty?” she tries again, but Wyatt shakes her head. 

“Are you.. hungry?” 

Wyatt shakes her head again. Taylor now hugs her a little tighter, getting closer to her ear. 

“Do you want uncle Trav to carry you for a bit?” she whispers now, almost as if this was a secret shared between just the two of them and for the first time since an hour, Wyatt quietly nods. Taylor knew it. She knew the little girl is absolutely exhausted and drained from walking around all day. She smiles gently, presses a little kiss onto the side of her head, then stands up and looks at the man next to her. 

“Wyatt wants uncle Trav to carry her for a bit.” she says gently and quietly, trying to avoid Wyatt throwing another tantrum. Travis immediately passes his small water bottle to Taylor and grabs the small toddler with a smooth hand motion. Within a second, Wyatt has gotten comfortable on his big arm, her head gently resting on his shoulders. She immediately closes her eyes, cuddling closer to her uncle’s neck and hugging him gently. Taylor’s heart feels like exploding again. Travis casually blows a few kisses onto the small chubby cheek and the two keep on walking. She knew that the little girl was in desperate need of a nap. Thank god she’s got a gigantic teddy bear right next to her, who doesn’t mind carrying the sleepy toddler around for a while.

“I think the fireworks start in thirty minutes and I think we should head home after that.” Taylor says, looking at her security behind them. The two men just nod quietly and Travis places his free arm around Taylor’s shoulder. He can feel some eyes and phone cameras on the two, but it’s not as bad as he expected it to be. After all, they just look like a regular couple walking through Disneyland with their toddler. And it’s not hard to admit that this is one of the best feelings he’s ever felt. One of the best days he’s ever had. Spending the day with Taylor and this little girl in the French summer sun. Lots of pictures being taken, lots of laughter, lots of cotton candy and Disney princesses. He’s gotten a taste of what it’s like to be a girl dad, and he didn’t think it could be this incredible. He adores seeing the kindness in Taylor’s every move. He adores the energy she radiates when speaking with Wyatt, when holding her hand, gently rubbing her head or making sure she’s got enough sunscreen on. There’s something so natural in the way she handles the little girl and it’s something he now wants more than ever before. 

This. 

He wants exactly this, with her, for the rest of his life. 

With Wyatt asleep on his shoulder, he looks down to the blonde woman next to him. Beneath her sunglasses he can see clearly that she’s suppressing a yawn, just looking around the amusement park in silence. She’s worn out too, that’s for sure.

“You tired?” he asks, and she looks up at him and nods. She giggles a little bit and hugs his arm while walking down the alley towards the magic kingdom. 

“I’m exhausted from just… keeping a child alive and happy all day.” she laughs and he nods. He never thought it would be so exhausting but fun at the same time. 

“Me, too. Jetlag is not helping.” he mumbles and she nods immediately. She can only imagine how tired the man next to her must be. She intertwines their hands, looks up at him again. A smile on her face. He looks so handsome with a little child asleep on his shoulder. More than he could ever know. 

“I think we’ll just do room service tonight, what do you think?” 

“Oh, absolutely. I think she’s also done for the day.” he mumbles, looking down at his niece again. She really is fast asleep now, and he hopes they get to wake her up before the fireworks start. 

“I can’t believe she hasn’t gotten homesick yet. She’s such a brave little girl.” Taylor says. 

“She’s got the best aunt in the world. That’s why.” 

Taylor looks up to Trav and smiles. She gently leans in, stealing him a small kiss.

~ 

“Home sweet home.” Taylor just mumbles, completely worn out, just as much as Travis and the little toddler on his hand. Wyatt’s left arm is trying to hold onto the gigantic stuffed Olaf Travis has gotten her in the gift shop, as well as the shopping bag full of pencils and books and other Disney toys her uncle couldn’t say no to. Travis’ other hand is holding onto the huge Frozen balloon they had to get before leaving Disneyland. She can’t help but smile for a moment. He really did spoil his niece today, and she knows he enjoyed every second of it. 

“Thank god.” Travis mumbles, just as exhausted as she is. Taylor smiles at her security in front of the hotel suite once, then closes the door. She lets out a big yawn, fumbles to take off her sneakers without her hands and makes her way back to the two. 

“Are you thirsty?” she asks Wyatt, who nods. The little girl’s hair is in all directions and the little braid she’s put her hair into this morning is half down. She’s as exhausted as the two adults are. Travis helps Wyatt take off her shoes and Taylor comes back to the little girl with a glass of water. She sits down next to Wyatt on the sofa, helping her take a few sips from the water glass. She won’t let go of her Olaf ever again. That’s for sure. 

“How about we order some dinner, take a quick bath and watch a movie in bed? How does that sound?” she asks the little girl, who just gulps down the water. Taylor’s gently got her arm around her and Wyatt nods. 

“Okay.” she says, still completely focused on Olaf. Travis lets out another yawn and Taylor laughs. After her nap, Wyatt seems to be more alive than both the adults in this hotel suite. 

“I’m starving.” Travis mumbles, now taking off his own shoes. Taylor is already looking through the food menu by the little table right next to the sofa. 

“Wy, do you like fries and chicken nuggets?” she asks and the little girl nods. It seems she doesn’t really need anything else to be happy, already unpacking all of the other toys she just got from her uncle. 

“Mayo or Ketchup?” 

“No Mayo.” Trav mumbles from the end of the suite. Taylor looks at him with a smirk, rolling her eyes. 

“Hey, I didn’t ask uncle Trav. Wyatt, do you want your fries with Mayo and Ketchup?” 

“Yeah.” she mumbles unimpressed and Tay gets up to walk up to her fiancé. He’s just standing next to his side of the bed, charging his phone. Taylor sits down next to where he stands, still looking at the food menu. 

“How about sushi? They have a big platter with sashimi and..” 

“Yeah sounds great.” he says, drops his phone on the night stand and falls onto the bed right next to her. He lays down on his back, closing his eyes for a moment. She hasn’t seen him this worn out in a long time, and it does amuse her in a way that the only person able to tire the three-time-superbowl champion like this is a four year old girl and Disneyland. 

An hour later, the room is filled with empty plates, full stomachs and tired faces. The three have now changed into their pajamas and the sun is slowly going down in the city. Taylor has no idea how Wyatt is still awake, but she sits right there, fully awake in between Travis and her on the big bed, watching Tangled with Olaf on her lap. Travis is doing his best to stay awake, Taylor has noticed. He always gets more affectionate when he’s tired, and she can feel him doing his best to not fall asleep since minutes already. He’s now sitting up in bed once more, his hand wandering over Wyatt’s head to land on Taylor’s cheek. He strokes her skin gently a few times, and Taylor turns to him smiling, then looking back to Wyatt. She can see her little eye lids are also shutting close every few minutes. Maybe, it’s time to call it a day. 

Her hand is slowly wandering to Wyatt and Taylor caresses her arm a few times.

“Sweetie, should we tuck you into bed and tell you a good night story?” 

Wyatt doesn’t react, and Taylor looks at Travis, just hoping this won’t be the beginning of another break down. Wyatt then sits up, and to her surprise she shakes her head. 

“I want to stay here with you and uncle Trav.” she whispers. Taylor immediately nods, and so does Travis. 

“Of course, baby girl.” he says, his arm around her. Taylor can already see Wyatt’s face changing a little. She’s not just tired, but also starting to get emotional. Time to get this child to sleep. 

“When is my mommy coming?” she asks, her chin trembling. Travis immediately sits up and so does Taylor. 

“Just two more sleeps and mommy and daddy will be here. Are you looking forward to see mommy?” Taylor asks gently and Wyatt nods. She knew the little girl would eventually get homesick. But it breaks her heart more than she thought it would. 

“Yeah, I miss mommy.” she says, looking down and Taylor can already see a tear running down her cheek and landing on little Olaf. Taylor’s heart immediately breaks, but Travis is faster than she is. He just pulls Wyatt onto his lap, hugging her as close as possible. Her little head lands on his chest and he shields her with his big hand gently. Taylor can hear the little cries and her heart breaks some more. 

“Oh baby girl, don’t worry. Mommy will be here so soon. So so soon. I promise you that.” he kisses the small head a few times. Slowly, her cries get less and less but Taylor has another idea. 

“Should we call mommy? Let’s say hi to mommy, Wy.” Taylor says and Wyatt suddenly looks up to Taylor. Travis smiles, his fingers already wiping the little tears from the small cheek. 

“That’s a great idea, let’s talk to mommy.” he says supporting Taylor, just steals the little head another kiss. It takes less than two minutes and Taylor has FaceTimed Kylie. She immediately passes the phone to Wyatt and it really does the trick. Within a few seconds, her tears are forgotten and Wyatt excitedly tells her mom about all the Disney princesses she’s met and starts walking around the room to show her all the other toys she got from uncle Trav. Taylor smiles at Travis, uses this moment to cuddle closer to him in bed for a moment. After all, that spot in his arms was taken by Wyatt all day. He just gently kisses the top of her head, whispers a few I love yous into her hair before letting go again. Taylor looks up at him and smiles back. 

“I think there will be a child in our bed tonight.” she mumbles. He nods, fixing a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“I think so too.” he says and she can’t help but steal him a little kiss. His eyes are small but still full of love for her. She knows exactly what he’s thinking in this moment and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t thinking the same. 

Time to get used to this.