#but of course Im willing to take everything into consideration not wanting someone who dared to share feel unappreciated

[awesomefringey]

what’s the most believable receipt that you’ve ever seen (one that’s already out and posted) ?

I will absolutely ignore your actual question (check my tags though) and will share what I really find believable.

The ‘touch me now or I’ll die’ receipt

The ‘totally accidental caress of arm in front of everyone because you’re mine’ receipt

The ‘look my mic is a dick - cool I could blow you’ receipt

The ‘let’s meet & greet with fans - but as a couple’ receipt

The ‘I am so fucking in love with you’ love stare receipt

The ‘you are the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen’ love stare receipt

The ‘check in to say I love you/check out to say I love you too’ receipt

The ‘unnecessarily tender dragging of fingertips along the shoulder’ receipt

The ‘knowing nod’ or how I call it, the 'loaded gun? Yeah as in grumpy!' receipt

What!? Tumblr doesn’t allow more?!? But I’ve just started!? 😡 Should I do a part 2? Maybe I need a masterpost from this. LOL.

[afterthelastreset]

Rules Of One’s Soul Ch18 Date P2

(mak belongs to @wasted-church )

The usual blurs of red and pink swirled around and the halls and into the minds of the common and wealthy around the dark world. Infecting their very consciousness on the drunken ecstacy of love so would it seem. The pheromones of roses and fine chocolates seemed endless wafing through the air as an endless stream of love poisoning. It was the grand reason for this very holiday.

Love.

Love can be a powerful thing can it not? He's seen people go to war for the ones they loved. He's seen people do terrible, horrible things in the name of love. It's a powerful emotion. So powerful they had a king named after it after all. But it wasn't just bad things. Good things came from it as well. He'd happily smile at the many happy couples and happy laughter of children running around throwing paper hearts at one another along the halls or happy squeals from the occasional hathy when they receive a love letter or confession from their lovers. It was a beautiful sight he wouldn't deny, but perhaps it might've been a bit much for him sometimes. But on the other hand-

He flipped his hair back and looked back into his mirror. Who could deny his looks? He was rather good looking compared to all the other darkners. Who else had flowing white glowing hair that delicately draped around his perfect eyes and fluttering lashes? Who else could say they had many admires willing to buy something they don't need just to be near him?....Perhaps King Diamonds, but respectfully he was a marvel in his own way. His scales usually sparkled brightly and being the richest of the four kings of course meant he'd have a fair amount of suitors himself hoping to get a piece of his riches and royal status. But the king couldn't compare to the likes of him in other ways. He didn't have the charm or grace he posessed surely. He didn't have the charisma or confidence, or the romantical know-how to woo the lady of his dreams.~ And he had chosen the perfect one to court. Sure. There a few.....difficulties.

One being that she was already courted and dare say.....already married to someone. In technicality he had already lost before he even began, which should've been enough of a red flag for him to stop while he was ahead. To stop himself from doing something stupid- But we all know how the saying goes.

Love is blind.

He had to tell her. Even if she never returned his affections. He could live with the rejection, but he couldn't just keep his emotions about this whole thing up any longer.

Her surprised face when he turned up with an assortment of roses he knew she would like. Smile on his features....A frown on her face and worry in her voice.

"Rouxls. You have to stop this. You don't understand what this could do. Do you understand me?"

"Rouxls?"

"ROUXLS KAARD!! YOU TRAITOROUS SCUM!!"

****************************************************************************

"Rouxls, Rouxls?"

The worm made a yelp sound and dropped what he had been previously holding. He fell backwards onto his rear and balls of yarn bounced near his feet before going to a stop. His lungs heaved in and out sucking in that sweet air and his eyes blinked blankly at nothing in particular- He flinched and snapped his head up when a hand gently gripped his shoulder, meeting the eyes of a concerned floating purple man who blinked back in confusion.

"Are you alright, alright?"

"W...Wha-," was all he could get out in his confused stupor.

"You looked frightened, frightened?" His head tilted to the side and blinked. "Like Lancer when his nightlight went out. Are you alright, alright?"

He froze when Rouxls pulled his shoulder away from him and averted his eyes. "I-...I willst best f-fine....Nothing that hasn't happened before."

Jevil's eyebrows rose. Nothing that hasn't happened before? Does he just freeze up every time someone asks him on a date? A pit of guilt suddenly made itself present in his stomach and his eyes widened in a sudden thought. Did-...Did he do something wrong? No, no. He couldn't have! He followed the steps Seam had told him to follow during their little truce. Professional, polite, helpful- Didn't he do everything right? ..Did those little remarks during candy picking sent him the wrong impression? Rouxls slowly shifted getting Jevil's attention directed back towards him. The worm slowly reached a hand out and shakily grabbed onto the counter the register sat upon, Jevil reached his hands out as if to help, but a blue hand was held up to stop him. Rouxls took a shaky breath in and released it slowly with a shudder, carefully pulling himself up to his feet. His legs felt like jello and he worried he might fall over again, but he put on a stern brave face and forced himself to stay still. He remained silent for a moment. ...Hands on the counter. Eyes closed. And taking a few deep breaths. Jevil watched it all with a very confused look....What was that all about?

Rouxls tilted his head down towards his feet silently, catching the attention of the floating clown. Staring at the few balls of yarn that he had dropped. Ever so silently, he slowly turned his body and reached down to pick up the wool strands off the floor. ".....I-" Jevil flinched at the eerily calm voice of the worm. Didn't he just have a scare a few moments ago? "-apologize for mine rude reaction. I amst usually not l-likest that around ....c-coworkers."

Jevil tilted his head. Coworkers? ....Oh. Lancer did give him his royal title of Court Jester back, he guessed that did make them coworkers. But wait. ....Did that mean that-? His stomach instantly dropped when the thought hit him. Did Rouxls not see him as anything but another co-worker? Is that why he never...returned his own affection because he saw their relationship as nothing but 'professional'?! Is THAT why he was so angry all the time? Because he always saw it as 'unprofessional behavior'?! His ears dropped as he looked back to the worm who had stood back up. He gave the yarn a tired look before turning back to the counter and setting them within their proper place silently.

"....Rouxls,Rouxls?"

He paused. "Yes, Jevil?

Rouxls gave a small look over his shoulder to address his attention to Jevil, who smiled weakly at him. "Um.....Did you hear , hear my question?...Question."

A pause-

Rouxls sighed. The kind of sigh that sounded tired and done. "Yes. Yes, Jevil. I did."

He gulped. "And...what does the Duke, Duke think?"

Silence.

".....I-" He looked back towards the counter. "I..think now may be a...n-not so good time to do anythinge of the sort. I-...I amst sor-"

He stopped when he felt something latch onto him. Freezing up on instinct. Soul starting to thump hard against his chest, something curled into his back and something muscular coiled his upper arm from behind. His body reacted in his pupils shrinking and his ears drooping....Something pressed into the back on his shoulder and..he slowly turned his head-

Jevil was- ....He was- Soul thumping hard- A flushed feeling washing over him. As Jevil....hugged(??) him. Well...maybe hugging. He was looking at him with a uncertain expression and his arm were around his upper back and tail found it's way around his upper left arm. The two stared at each other for a moment before Jevil cleared his throat.

"It...Looked like you could use a hug,hug." He dared to give a uncertain smile. "The young prince told me of your sadness, sadness....He told me a hug, hug always made you feel better."

Rouxls just stared at Jevil for a long moment. Just staring silently. Jevil's smile slightly faded, had he had something wrong, maybe he shouldn't have done this. But upon questioning the young boy about his father's habits, he said he always loved his hugs. Didn't he enjoy them from his destined soulmate too? "Heh" Jevil's train of thought was derailed when he heard that one small chuckle escape from the Duke's lips. Followed by another...And another- The duke chuckled to him self and shook his head, laying his upper body onto the counter by this elbows. A...smile on his face. And not the nervous kind!

"Thou art a funny man, Jevil." Another chuckle escaped from his mouth and one of his hands came up to rub over his face and push some of that snowy white hair away from his forehead. "I nay believe I'll ever understand thee but thou art a....undeterred little worm."

"...Does this mean Im forgiven, f-forgiven?" He took his face from his hands and turned to give Jevil that smile. The jester's soul thumped harder when he gave what he finally wanted.

A smile of true happiness.

"I supposeth so. Considering thou willst be more considerate to mine....p-personal pereferences?" Jevil was too eagerly to nod his head yes against Rouxls's shoulder, settling down into his space perched upon him and letting out a content purr sound. ..Which made the duke do a double take- The fool could PURR?! "...Art thou going to just stayest there for the rest of thine day?"

Jevil hummed cracking an eye open at him. "It depends, depends. Maybe I can be convinced to go somewhere else, else if my previous question is answered, answered."

A look of confusion is what he got. Question? WHat questi- Oh. ...Right. The thought of going on a date with anyone was enough to make him tired, but ...with Jevil? Well he guessed he should've seen it coming. Rouxls's had suspected Jevil had wanted to ask him to the ball from the very beginning, but a wrench was from into the works when Seam beat him to it-...Wait. Did that mean that Seam tricked him into inviting him?! That sneaking old cat! Oh he would definitely be having a talk with Seam later about this whole thing, but right now he had another thing to worry about. And the question that needs answering is....Would he do that?

One look in the jester's hopeful bright eyes and wagging end of his tail, compiled with the thrumming purring coming from his throat and nuzzling into his shoulder- ....His soul gave a throb and without a second of self control he gave possibly the greatest or worst answer he could have given.

"Yes."

He froze. There it was. All out without his control. Jevil on the other hand gasped, his mouth wide open, eyes widening until they looked like two golden coins against the black of the whites of his eyes. Before contorting his mouth into a happy smile, a happy whine escaping his throat, the end of his tail thumped relentlessly against part of his arm. By the way Jevil stared at him, you would think he just agreed to marry the fool. His smile became wider. Mind racing with: Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap-

Ding!

The front door suddenly flew open and standing in the doorway was a common rudinn guard, he gave the two a confused look and they just stared back awkwardly. After a few seconds, Rouxls cleared his throat and gave the rudinn one of his signature smiles as a greeting.

"Greetings! I amst sorry but mine shop tis closed for restock and repairs. Funny that didst not deter thee.~ " He gave a small wink to the random guard who flushed a light green and stutter a small 'uh' to the Duke's flirtacious words. Jevil however gave them his own jealous filled glare. "Art thou one of mine admirers, Worm?~ ...ACK-"

Jevil climbed higher onto Rouxls shoulder and gave a hug that pressed both their cheeks together. "Hehehe. Im your admirer, admirer.~"

Rouxls gave a strained smile and cleared his throat again. "Thank thee Jevil, but I do believe this is unprofessional in front of mine dear customers." His voice sounded slightly irritated.

"Oh. But where's the fun, fun in that?"

Rouxls opened his mouth to speak, but that was cut short when he felt Jevil not so secretly place a kiss to his neck near his jaw line, staring at the Rudinn, who already looked weirded out enough as it was and only felt weirded, with a jealous narrowed glare. As if to dare the newcomer to just try something sneeky. ..What really resulted was the duke giving a high pitched girly squeal and a hand flying up to push the invader's face away from his. Jevil giggled at the new game of keep away and turned his face into the blue hand that was pushing his cheek and giving it a small peck. ROuxls gave an undignified yelp and pulled his hand away with a light blue already spreading across his face.

"Jevil you...you...SNAIL!," he yelled in a squeaky high pitched voice.

The Rudinn slowly slithered backwards out of the shop, the two arguing among themselves, they didn't notice the sound of the bell jingling or the sound of the door closing.

[taexual]

HOLIC - 41 | jb x reader

pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au

warnings: mostly angst

words: 4.6k

disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit

           prev / next

With every day following Jaebum’s dinner with his new agency, his mood kept getting better and better. You loved hearing him sing whenever he was too occupied with whatever he was doing to realize that he wasn’t alone in the room and you loved catching him smile to himself when you were hanging out, even if you were watching a depressing movie.

He was happy. Overjoyed and blisful, even – and you loved everything about it.

But you hated that you couldn’t match his mood.

You still hadn’t told him about the contract you’ve signed and all that it implied. Not because you didn’t want to – well, actually, you didn’t, but this was something you felt like you had to do despite your wishes – but mostly because you’ve never seen Jaebum this happy this many days in a row, and breaking that streak felt like a crime you’d have to go on death row for. You weren’t ready for that.

“How is the planning going?” Jaebum asked you one night when the two of you found yourselves in the kitchen, preparing to have dinner together after work. He was the one doing all the cooking, though, while you sat by the kitchen island, your laptop in front of you; both of you in your usual positions. “For the exhibition, I mean.”

“Oh,” you’d been relatively quiet about the upcoming exhibition, blaming the sudden workload at your own gallery, but you knew you couldn’t escape from talking about it. “It’s… going. I actually haven’t heard from them much. And I didn’t call them myself because I’ve been busy and—”

His phone started to ring. It’s been doing that a lot the past few days and it always rang mid-conversation. Almost as if whoever was calling him waited until you and Jaebum had started to talk so they could dial. You didn’t mind it this time, however, because it saved you from a very awkward and clumsy half-lie.

Somehow, you found yourself suddenly living your whole life inbetween ill-timed phone calls and more and more half-lies.

Sighing, as you waited for Jaebum to finish his call in the hallway, you closed your laptop and decided to take over his job of chopping the vegetables while he was busy.

As soon as you finished with the carrots and moved onto the cabbages, he was back in the kitchen, beaming. God, you’d have been jealous he was doing so well if you weren’t so incredibly happy to see him happy.

“Good news, I’m hoping?” you encouraged.

He nodded. “They want to release “Don’t Touch Me” as a single with an actual music video accompanying it.”

“Oh, God, your debut music video!” you exclaimed, putting the knife down before you hurt yourself because you could not bother looking at the vegetables when Jaebum was standing in front of you, all smiles and glittering eyes. “Do they have any ideas for it? Any particular plot-lines? Shit, this could be your debut as an actor, too.”

“I’m sure they’ll come up with something if I don’t think of anything myself,” he answered, laughing and taking your previous seat by the island. You rotated positions around each other so effortlessly, it felt as though you’d cooked dinner together your whole lives. “But I have the honor of living with a photographer, so I’m hoping she will be the one who tells me if my ideas are too awful to even consider.”

“Hmm,” you grinned. “That sounds quite convenient. Lucky you.”

“Lucky me, indeed,” Jaebum replied with a matching smirk and then leaned over the island to press a kiss to your cheek before standing up to turn the stove on. “Listen, uh—”

“Can you hold on for a moment?” you cut him off, feeling your phone vibrate in your pocket. Of course, you’d get a call right when he had something to tell you. “Someone’s call—oh.”

Jiho had finally reached out. You dipped out of the room – narrowly avoiding Jaebum’s surprised glance at your phone; he was just alarmed by the sudden crestfallen note in your voice when you noticed the caller’s ID – to take the call. You felt guilty immediately after, though. If you’d answered Jiho’s call in Jaebum’s presence, that would have given you an opening to begin the difficult conversation and explain what you had to do in order to get your exhibition.

Clearly, you were still unprepared for that.

“Yeah?” you answered breathlessly once you were in your room, the racing of your thoughts exhausting you not just mentally but physically, too.

“Hi,” Jiho said on the other end of the call. “Is this a bad time?”

You weren’t sure if there was a right time when it came to him.

“No, it’s fine,” you replied.

“Good. I’ve got an appearance for us,” he said it in a grandiose tone, making it seem as though he was announcing that the two of you were about to headline Coachella. “It’s nothing big. One of my friends – well, alright, acquaintances as of right now, but I’m thinking ahead – is hosting this dinner and I’ve been invited with a plus one. Lots of my colleagues are also attending, and I thought, what’s a better way for you to begin your introductions?”

Dinner was an intimate affair, no matter how many people were in attendance or where it was hosted. It involved a group of people sitting closesly at a table, having hushed conversations over glasses of fancy liquor and plates of food you couldn’t even begin to guess the names of. You hadn’t expected that – you’d only considered photography exhibitions to be the ‘public appearances’ mentioned in your contract.

“Uh,” you stammered, losing your train of thought for a moment. “W-when is it?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“It’s tomorrow?” you repeated, surprised. “Is it—will I always be notified of the events I have to attend with you one day before they happen? Because a heads-up would be nice, I might have plans—”

“This is your job,” Jiho said, and although his words were meant to chastise you for even considering turning him down, he still managed to sound laid-back. The indifference in his voice made your skin crawl – he had to have been acting and you dreaded to think what he really wanted to say. “Surely, you can cancel plans for it.”

“I—”

“But I understand,” he added before you could cut in. “Admittedly, I wasn’t planning on going at all but, after some consideration, I decided this would be a great way for you to get acquainted with some of the more prominent names in photography. I won’t call you about this at the very last minute again. This was my bad. Then again, this dinner is more for you than it is for me or the gallery, so I’d take this chance if I were you.”

You bit your lip. “So, this is a freebie, then? It’s not an official public outing?”

“Don’t worry,” Jiho sounded amused now. “It’s both.”

Getting through the dinner with Jaebum was suddenly a chore because, in your mind, you were already dining with Jiho and the people he’d called his colleagues. In all of the time that you’ve lived with Jaebum, never once did you find your mind wandering out of the room he was in, so this was as unusual for you as it was for him.

“You seem distracted,” Jaebum pointed out when he’d already cleaned his plate and you were still toying with the arugula leaves on yours. “Is everything alright? What was that call about?”

“Nothing, it’s fine,” you said automatically. “I’m just thinking.”

“Not about me, I suppose?”

You raised your eyes to meet his grin and instantly felt the corners of your lips stretch into a matching smile. You looked down to get yourself together and then dared to speak, “can I ask you something? It's kind of weird.”

“Sure,” he shrugged his shoulders.

“What are the lengths you’re willing to go in order to make it as a singer?”

He hesitated as soon as he heard the question. You did warn him that it was going to be weird but he was still confused and not quite sure what you wanted to hear from him.

“What do you mean?” he asked slowly.

“I mean…" you started and then stopped abruptly. You didn't actually know what you wanted to him to tell you, either. "I mean, how far would you consider stepping out of your comfort zone to advance your career?”

Jaebum looked around the room before answering, “well, as far as I have to, I guess.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, yeah. I don’t think any achievements can be gained inside of the comfort zone," he said. "You always have to step out of what you’re used to in order to do something meaningful, but, I mean, that way your comfort zone stretches, you know? I… I wouldn’t have even considered talking about my music to anyone who wasn’t Jackson, and now I-I’m going on meetings where we do nothing but discuss my music.”

“Right," you nodded, swallowing slowly. Jaebum noticed the awkward expression on your face and was already starting to suspect that you'd expected him to answer your question differently when you changed your approach, "but, I mean, if you were given a chance to reach your goals faster, would you take it?”

He thought the answer was obvious, so he frowned. “How do you mean?”

“Let’s say you’re given the opportunity to succeed with a virtually non-existent risk of failure. Except, in order for that to happen, you have to do something that you are—that you’re not entirely comfortable with,” you explained – albeit so vaguely, Jaebum had trouble following you – while tracing the pattern of the tabletop of the kitchen island.

“If you’re asking me if I’m going to sleep with anyone to get a Grammy," Jaebum said, "then the answer is no.”

“I—okay," you laughed in surprise. "Good to know. I didn’t mean—well, I wasn’t talking about something that extreme.”

“Well, as long as I get to keep my dignity, I’d say I’d do pretty much anything.”

“Dignity,” you repeated.

“Yes. This is—it’s going to sound weird, probably, but I like to think of it as if—I’m standing on stage, accepting an award for my music, right? And I have to give a speech. Well, what do I say – am I confident enough to tell everyone the truth of how I got here, accepting this award, or am I too embarrassed to admit to the things I had to do in order to get here?" Jaebum spoke. "Basically, what I mean is, if whatever I’m considering now is going to embarrass me in the future, I’d rather not do it. Does that answer your question?”

“Yeah,” you replied, not finding the right words to tell him that he didn’t just answer the question you’d asked. He also answered all the questions you’d never even dare to ask. “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” he rewarded you with another smile before pointing out, “you still look down, though.”

“I—yeah, sorry,” you shook your head, knowing there was no place for you to hide from him here. “I’m just—”

But Jaebum was reaching conclusions faster than you could explain yourself as he squinted his eyes, interrupting you, “is the gallery asking you to—do you have to do something you don’t want to do for your exhibition?”

You were afraid to keep eye contact with him all of a sudden, so you lowered your eyes and were in the middle of shaking your head when you reconsidered. What was the point of lying again when you’d just been given another perfect opening to come clean about Jiho?

“N-no—not exactly,” you said, your heart rate picking up speed. “I just have to step out of my comfort zone, like you’ve said. That’s surprisingly difficult to do.”

He nodded, understanding. “Do you want to talk about this?”

“I don’t want to bother you with—”

“Hey, no, don’t,” he cut you off again, waving his hand dismissively. “You’re not bothering me. We share a living space, so I’d say it’d be nice if we shared our mind space, too.”

You watched him for a moment, appreciating the gesture even though you’d have rather had him ignore everything you were about to say. “That was deep. Is that a new song lyric?”

“Not yet, it’s not,” Jaebum replied, immediately catching your attempt to change the topic, “but maybe it will be if you tell me what’s making you upset.”

Your entire body was buzzing – shaking – with nervous electricity. You realized you had to talk – you’d never forgive yourself for lying to him – but you still wanted to find a way to tell him the truth without revealing all of the details, even though, by definition, that wasn’t exactly the truth at all.

“I’m going to have to—there are these—I will—oh, fuck,” you shook your head, covering your face with your hands as you inhaled deeply. You appreciated Jaebum’s patience while you gathered yourself. “Okay. I’m going to have to attend these events for a little while. For promotion.”

“Okay,” Jaebum nodded. “After the exhibition?”

“No,” you said. “Before.”

He paused, the next question escaping him. Instead of inquiring further like he’d planned before, now he just waited for you to continue.

Prompted by his confused—and yet curious—face, you sighed and tried to explain, “I’ve been told it’s a prerequisite. Basically, they want my name to be somewhat known among my fellow photographers so they can, I don’t know, guarantee that my exhibition won’t send them into complete bankruptcy or something.”

“That—” Jaebum started to reply and then stopped. “Okay, actually, I don’t know if that makes sense. I don’t know how galleries usually work.”

“Well, my gallery never really provided a similar service,” you said. “But, then again, my gallery doesn’t specify in photography. The only photography exhibitions we’ve hosted were by photographers that were already relatively popular. I don’t know much about this either, to be honest, but, I guess, it does make some sense.”

“Hmm,” he nodded. “So, these events you’ll have to attend are making you uneasy?”

“Yes. More or less,” you replied, choosing to walk around the gaping hole with Jiho’s name at the bottom, instead of diving into it head-first. “I’m just not sure if that’s fair.”

“Why not?” Jaebum asked, picking up one of the arugula leaves off your plate since it was clear that you weren’t going to finish eating them. “It’s not like you’re getting any special treatment or anything. It wouldn’t be fair if they took you in and hosted your exhibition immediately.”

“That’s true,” you bit your lip. “I guess I’m just uncomfortable with the fact that I’ll have to make a name for myself as a photographer by doing things that aren’t exactly photography-related, you know?”

“Wait,” he stopped chewing. “What do you mean?”

You didn’t understand which part he was suddenly hung up on. “W-what do you mean, what do I mean?”

“These events,” Jaebum repeated, a frown on his face. “You said they’re for promotion. What do you mean, they’re not photography-related?”

Before long, the room had started to burn, your entire body seemingly catching fire. You couldn’t help glancing at your bedroom as you wished to escape.

“No, they are. They’re completely photography-related. I-I just meant that I would prefer it if I became more well-known by taking pictures,” you said, your throat drying under Jaebum’s confused—suspicious?—gaze. “And now I’m basically trying to become a socialite before I can try to become a photographer.”

“Huh,” he leaned back slightly and you weren’t sure what to make of that because, although he looked like he appreciated your explanation, he also looked like he didn’t like what he’d just heard. “Why did you agree to do this if you’re not—if you don’t want to?”

“Because this is my only shot,” you said simply.

“Oh, come on, do you genuinely believe that?” Jaebum asked, skeptical. “You’re a talented photographer, have some—”

“—confidence, yeah,” you finished for him, nodding your head along to the words you’ve heard several times already. “I keep hearing that but, the thing is, at the end of the day, it’s not really all about confidence. I could believe in myself like no other and still be none the wiser because confidence doesn’t guarantee success. It’s good to have it, but all it does is just ensures I feel less awful when, eventually, this doesn’t work out and I fall down on my ass.”

“I don’t—that’s a very negative attitude,” he pointed out the obvious because he didn’t really have any counter-arguments. Easing your mind about something you were worried about was, as he’d come to learn, unexpectedly difficult. “If you were more confident, you could become successful all on your own. You wouldn’t need any… prerequisites or whatever you want to call them.”

“I could never do it on my own,” you disagreed right away. “I mean, is that not what I’ve been trying to do this whole time, anyway? Taking pictures—”

“—and then not submitting them anywhere,” Jaebum cut in, “yeah, that’s not really it. If you believed in yourself more, you could absolutely make a name for yourself on your own terms. You could even find a different gallery, maybe one that offered you a deal that was a little more acceptable for you.”

“But no one else got back to me!” you replied, feeling your irritation grow. He’d made it seem so easy as if you’d been beating yourself up about this completely pointlessly. “I emailed, at least, a dozen galleries – and there aren’t even that many photography-oriented galleries in our country to begin with – and only one—this one—contacted me.”

“But they did contact you,” Jaebum insisted, his voice rising as well. “They saw your potential. If you’d tried again, maybe more would respond and—”

“They wouldn’t,” you cut him off, not allowing him to plant any more seeds of false hope in your mind.

“Why not? Why are you so sure that they wouldn’t?” he asked. “It’s moments like this when you need to find more confidence in yourself.”

You wanted to keep on repeating that this wasn’t the case because you firmly believed that, if you hadn’t known Jiho prior to your meeting with him at his gallery, you wouldn’t have heard from them at all. This was about connections. About popularity. About, well, money.

“The galleries don’t need artists with potential,” you said slowly, your hands at your sides now, your fists clenched. “They need artists that can make them profit. And if I’m not known, I can’t bring them money.”

“Yeah, but you can find other ways to make yourself known if you don’t feel like doing it this way.”

“I—do you know how long that’d take?”

Jaebum didn’t think that was a problem. “Well, how bad do you want this?”

“What?” you frowned.

“If you want to succeed bad enough,” he explained, “why does it matter how long it’d take?”

“Did you not just say you’d take the opportunity to jump-start your career if you could?” you asked, realizing that you were only getting so angry because, for the most part, he was right.

You did want to host your own exhibition—very much so—but the fear of never succeeding might have blinded you. Jiho’s opportunity was the only one you’ve gotten in your life and it felt like the only one you’d ever get.

“Well, yeah, but I thought we were talking about doing something that wasn’t conflicting with my morals, or whatever,” Jaebum replied. “It clearly seems like you’re uncomfortable with this, so why put yourself through it?”

Because I don’t want you to leave me behind, you wanted to tell him but held yourself back.

“Because it’s still an opportunity,” you said softly, sounding even less convincing—what were you even trying to convince him of?—than before. “An opportunity that I might not get otherwise. This gallery—it’s great. It’s fantastic, the things they’ve offered me, it’s—wow.”

“And yet, you still have doubts?” he asked.

“I guess.”

“Then maybe this gallery is not right for you.”

That sounded too simple.

“Maybe not,” you said. “But I don’t think I’ll ever find an ideal gallery, all of them are going to include some responsibilities I might be uncomfortable with. I just have to man up and pull through, I guess.”

He sighed before saying, “you guess a lot.”

“Yeah,” you shrugged, having noticed this as well. “I’ve never been in a position like this before. Obviously, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing, either,” he countered, “but I don’t look like I’m being tortured.”

Somehow, even though he probably didn’t mean it, his words were akin to a painful punch in your stomach. You must have looked like you were getting beaten up by mean bullies on the daily and that was definitely not what a person on the way to success should have looked like.

“That’s right,” you said, the expression of your face suddenly resembling a brick wall. “You don’t.”

“Look—no matter what happens, I’m here for you, okay?” Jaebum continued, more careful this time. He noticed that he must have phrased himself wrong because all light had suddenly gone out of your eyes – and there wasn’t a lot of it there in the first place. “If you decide you don’t want to work with this gallery and would rather wait for a different opportunity—”

“—then what? You’ll hold my hand like I’m a crying child on the first day of kindergarten?”

He was surprised to hear your harsh voice. “I��”

“Shit, sorry, I’m—I didn’t mean to sound so accusing,” you pulled back in your seat, bringing your hands over your face in a desperate attempt to calm yourself down.

“No, it’s okay,” Jaebum said. “I-I don’t really know what to say to help you. You’re better at this than I am. You’re the perfect balance between gentle encouragement and tough love.”

You shook your head, still hiding your face. “No, I’m not.”

“For me, you are. I’m trying to learn how to be the same for you, but, obviously, I’m not doing a very good job,” he spoke and then stopped, waiting for you to look at him. Once you did, however, he looked down. “Whatever you do, I’m here, okay? But tell me if you need me to hold your hand or if you’d rather have me push you towards something you’re not sure about.”

His words were like the quiet shelter in a raging storm that you’d been seeking and yet you didn’t dare to allow them to comfort you just yet. “What if I’m not sure about what I need?”

“Well, then let me just do this,” he stood up and walked over to wrap his arms around your waist and rest his head on your shoulder, before finishing, “and now we can stay like this until you’re sure.”

Feeling the way your heart dropped as soon as he was holding you, you allowed him to overcome your senses as you asked quietly, “what if it’s never?”

“Then we’ll stay like this until we die of starvation,” he replied, pulling away slightly, “let me just grab a chair for myself, too, yeah?”

You chuckled lightly, allowing him to break the hug and sit down next to you instead. His hands remained on you all through this.

“Thank you,” you said, then, meaning it from the bottom of your heart.

“No need,” he replied. “I didn’t do anything.”

“No, you’re here. Thank you for that.”

“I have no choice,” he said. “I live here.”

You groaned with a playful roll of your eyes. “Oh, way to ruin a moment.”

He laughed, pulling you into a hug again. “I’ve told you, I’m learning it all from you.”

Like with most things in your life, your mind tended to focus on the negative instead of sticking with the positive – and the dinner with Jiho was not an exception. You’d survived it, of course, and, if you had to be completely honest, there were even moments when you found yourself enjoying your time there – you couldn’t help but feel starstruck when you realized that you were sitting at the same table with one of the National Geographic photographers – but, at the end of the day, you could not force yourself to say that your night was great. It had its’ moments, but it was not at all great.

You’d had to sit next to Jiho the whole night – and, although that sounded like you were twelve years old and the teacher had forced you to sit next to the boy you’ve disliked more than anyone in maths class, this was not the case at all; Jiho very literally orbited you the entire night, never stepping more than three feet away from you – and, on top of that, you had to endure him cutting up the steak on your plate for you after your shaky hands had accidentally released the knife one time.

Undoubtedly, Jiho acted in an ambiguous way because he wanted the others to get interested – helping a friend out with their meal was nothing short of friendly, of course -- but, at the same time, the close proximity between you two could have easily suggested a more intimate relationship. And his actions towards you were definitely eye-catching because, at the end of the night, when the aforementioned photographer was inviting Jiho to the newest magazine release party in the city – he was, apparently, the author of the cover picture – he asked Jiho to bring you as well.

You were glad to receive an opportunity to attend an event that sounded much more official than this dinner but the fact that you’d only attend it as Jiho’s plus one still clouded your mood. You wanted to go there as a photographer. Not as the girl Jiho had cut her steak up for.

When you got back to your apartment later that night, you took your shoes off in the hall and sighed yet again – somehow, no matter how many times you exhaled, you still couldn’t seem to get rid of the nasty dust that had gathered in your lungs overnight. You were more than ready to head to bed and lose yourself in peaceful slumber where you didn’t have to worry about ruining your reputation before you even developed one, but then you noticed the creak in the door of Jaebum’s bedroom.

It was dark inside but the streelights outside of his bedroom window illuminated his bed enough for you to see his sleeping features through the gap in the door. You’d only approached to close the door so you wouldn’t wake him while you showered and prepared for bed but you stopped short once you saw him.

He was smiling in his sleep.

And just this sight alone was enough to make you smile too, forgetting whatever existential crisis you’d already braced yourself for. For a moment there, it really felt like, even if you’d return to your bedroom later and the previous anxiety and disappointment would return with you, you would make it. You’d pull through because it’d be worth it. 

You’d survive anything because you believed that, one day, you’d get to wake up in the middle of the night to see Jaebum’s smiling face right next to yours – and you’d realize you’d been smiling in your sleep, too.

    chapter directory

[fal-carrington]

Bullet [One-Shot]

Pairing: Kamilah x mc slightly Adrian x Mc

Disclaimer: Characters are not mine

A/N: The idea originally came because of this post https://itsmychoicebih.tumblr.com/post/175802347273/i-feel-like-im-the-only-one-who-sometimes-wishes Thank you so much darling for got me inspired to write this. That's what I think would have happened if Adrian had overheard Kamilah and Mc that night in the cabin, taking into consideration that he was falling in love with Mc.

3h30am

Compassion. That was what the look of both women showed. Going back to that cabin which bring painful memories, but back to where Adrian's life had begun and ended. It was like going back to the past with a sense of refuge from all that was happening lately. Vega. A traitorous and filthy snake, Adrian was betting that this whole time he was plotting against him. It was not a surprise, Adam was never more than a politician who only thought for his own benefit, most vampires were like that.

Adrian stared at the carpet in his old room, he knew full well of the risks it was, it was amazing how overnight his life had taken that uncontrolled course. From an influential CEO, he had become an outlaw of his fellow councilors. Incriminated unjustly, being subject to go through numerous tortures surname crime that he had not committed.

With all that had happened, he wanted tell both the truth. His life story, everything that had happened in that cabin during his life. He just felt like he should tell, talk about Charles... Eleanor. His family he had lost at the hands of a horrible person. As he counted, he looked at their faces. Kamilah remained impassive, innumerable thoughts taking place in her mind at that moment, and Hayley... She was the most touched, that was what Adrian loved in her... Her empathy.

Betrayed by Nicole. One of the employees loyal to Raines Corp that he believed to be a friend. He could never have foreseen this, as a mere 'no' had made him subject to unscrupulous betrayal. He raised his tired face, could still feel the effects of the serum on his body, maybe he was impulsive to inject it into himself without thinking of the consequences and the risks that he was subject. But he had no other choice, to let the serum fall into Adam's hands was unthinkable.

Adrian felt a familiar tingle in his chest as he looked directly into the green eyes that looked at him empathically. Hayley. Although the situation was difficult, she was the only one that made him persist, knowing that she had given up on being with Lily and Jax in New York and put herself at risk twice to save him from the Baron's dungeon, and followed him so far, made him think that maybe she was his second chance at love. She was the sunny morning after a strong storm.

Hayley's hands stroked his and the only thing Adrian could not stop thinking about was how lucky he was to have such a wonderful person in his life that cared for him. She was willing to sacrifice herself for him. Even Kamilah. His friend for centuries, the person he considered his older sister, one of the few people he trusted at that moment. She had risked her position before the council to save him, had risked her reputation and her life for him. Adrian's eyes went to the tall woman with her back to the wooden wall and arms crossed, her brown eyes showing sympathy, but strangely, Adrian noticed that she was looking directly at where Hayley's hands were.

"I know." The thought occurred in his mind. He imagined the sermon he would hear from Kamilah when this was all over. He could already visualize perfectly what she would say - He should not be involved with a human, they both knew how fragile humans were, how little time they had and how fast everything went. But Hayley was different and she was worth it.

"It's almost dawn. We should put the shades down and get some rest.” He said flattening himself on the bed and looking at both of them. “I’II sleep in the bedroom and there’s an extra bedroll here that’s more comfortable that it looks.” Kamilah unrolled the bedroll.

"I've certainly slept on worse," She look at it. "It would be cold here without a central heating" She said with the item in hand.

"Hayley, where will you be?" Adrian squinted his eyes at the girl. He wanted her to choose him, wanted her to stay with him that night. Hayley looked between them, biting her lower lip.

"I’II sleep with Kamilah," she said unexpectedly, and that made his heart clench a little, disappointed that she had not chosen him.

"Oh, will you?" In response Kamilah smiled broadly, a smile that he did not expect. Hayley's cheeks turned reddish.

"Yeah! To be closer to... The fire.” She stuttered. "Get some rest, Adrian. We’ll see you in the morning,” Hayley said with a confident smile and followed Kamilah out off the room. He sighed preparing himself to sleep.

4h00am

He was almost asleep. Almost. Lying in his bed with his eyes closed, after Hayley and Kamilah left the room, inevitably he was able to hear a part of their conversation. When did they become so close? Not that he was complaining, but that was unexpected. A friendship? Kamilah never showed liking Hayley. That was strange. He could feel sleep coming, he was almost dreaming. When he began to hear things, obscene words, groans... Someone was begging. That really sounded like Hayley’s voice.

Adrian opened his eyes, clearly confused and uncomfortable. His mind still not understanding what was happening. He sat on the bed, the blanket still covering his body. He paused for a moment, thinking it was nothing. Twisting to be nothing. He was starting to think maybe it's the serum messing with his head when...

"Oh, my... Kamilah!" It was definitely Hayley's voice, panting, begging. Adrian could hear the sound of the wood creaking hard, the sound of the futon fabric against the wood. Hayley's heartbeat accelerated, her breathing ragged.

"Oh, god... Oh, god ... I want you so much." Hayley spoke again after a few seconds. Adrian widened his eyes, standing up. Frightened, thinking whatever was happening behind that door, it was not a good thing.

"You're so beautiful." He heard Kamilah's voice for the first time, breathless. It was as if he could see the smile on her face as she said those words. “Do it again... Say it.”

“I want more” Hayley answered.

“Damn, you do” Kamilah said silencing her.

Adrian's hand was shaking, but he managed to turn the knob and quietly opened the door and could see that scene in front of him. A scene he never expected to see and would never be able to forget. Kamilah was his best friend, his confidant, his sister, who usually used to be cynical and cold to humans, and she was... Sleeping with his assistant. The girl he was in love with.

He stood there looking at both of them. In complete shock. Luckily he could see no part of their bodies, other than their legs and arms. Kamilah was above Hayley, her tanned arms on each part of the girl's body, holding Hayley against her as she kissed Hayley passionately. Hayley answered the kiss with the same enthusiasm and euphoria, her fingers curled into Kamilah's long hair and her legs around the CEO's hip as the other moved hard against her. Hayley's body was sweaty, she was panting. The fire in the fireplace burned alive beside them, and something else burned inside Adrian. Anger, hate... Betrayal, deception. A broken heart. How could Kamilah do this to him? By this point she already knew of his feelings for Hayley. Or at least she suspected.

"WHAT DOES THIS MEANS?" He screamed, unable to contain himself, scaring both of them. Hayley's first reaction was shock, trying to cover herself, Kamilah on the other hand, seemed more restrained, her expression of surprise was less than Hayley's.

"OH GOD! Adrian.... We... Uh... " Hayley was unable to formulate complete sentences. Her face was red, as was her bust, which she tried to hide. Kamilah and Adrian exchanged glances, unable to break the eye contact.

"Kamilah, how could you?!" he asked bitterly, his eyes red and fangs showing. "You had sex with my assistant, under my roof!" He shouted.

"Adrian..." Kamilah sighed before formulating a more appropriate response. "It’s not what you think"

"Oh really?! What I just witnessed here in front of me is not what I'm thinking?! You just betrayed me! You! Of all the people in the world, I never thought you'd be able—" He refused to look at both now, Hayley was wearing her clothes hurriedly, while Kamilah buttoned her shirt.

"To what?!" She stood up and Adrian could look at her, still able to see the droplets of sweat on her tanned skin, her messy brown hair and red lips blurred in the absence of the lipstick that was lying all over her Hayley's skin with kisses marks. "You talk like I slept with your wife! Adrian, from what I know, two are not together. Not oficially."

"We—" Hayley tried to say looking at both of them.

"You know how I feel about her!" Adrian said angrily.

"She's not your property!" Kamilah screamed back, her eyes red just like his, her fangs outside.

"Neither yours!"

“She wanted as much as I wanted”

”Don’t even bother! I opened up with you, I told you my story, the story of my family who lived and died in this house, where I died—“ Adrian paced back and forth with a face distorted in agony and anger. "... I never expected to find you two doing this, after all!"

"Stop acting like a child, Adrian! I must admit it wasn’t the proper place to do that, but we had a moment here and I didn’t thought—"

“SO YOU TWO HAD A MOMENT?! I’m so sorry to be inconvenient and interrupt your little moment with MY ASSISTANT!”

"OK, THAT’S ENOUGH YOU TWO!" Maybe it was a stupid decision, but Hayley did not think before putting herself in front of two vampires ready for a fight. They both looked at her in surprise. "You two will end up killing each other like this! We are all adults and we can solve this situation in a more peaceful way—“

"How dare you! Am I the child ?!" Adrian growled interrupting her.

"Yes, you are!" Kamilah snarled back threatening to move forward, Hayley clutched uselessly in the CEO's silk shirt, trying to contain her unsuccessfully.

"I was not the one who betrayed the other!"

"GUYS!"

"...I‘m in love with her, Kamilah!" Adrian shouted nervously.

"I‘m in love with her too!" Kamilah yelled back. At that moment, Adrian stopped and Hayley too, both with their eyes on her. Kamilah gritted her teeth and looked the other way.

"You are?" Hayley softly asked in shock.

"You... You despise mortals. You could not bear to stay close to Hayley until a few days ago.” Adrian said without understanding. Kamilah ran a hand through her hair. “That’s not possible”

"She made me feel something, something I never thought I could feel again. She is the part of the puzzle that was missing in my life, Adrian.” Kamilah admitted softly looking at her friend. Adrian's heart tightened as he stared at her. “The one I’ve been looking for”

“Well, she is my second chance to love again.” He said clearly upset looking at her. “The only thing I want more than everything. I need her in my life.”

After a moment of silence they both looked at Hayley, who was still in shock. Adrian's words in her mind, she could feel his pain, she sympathized with that pain. He was good for her, he always was. And Kamilah, surprisingly admitting she had feelings for her, someone she thought would never look at her in another way just because she was not like them.

"So, Hayley, what will it be?" Adrian asked. As if giving her a choice. Who would she choose? The gentlest and sweetest man, she had ever known, kind and loving, capable of anything to save his friends... Or Kamilah? The woman who impressed her, who constantly challenged her, the definition of perfection in person. Which at first had been cold and impenetrable, but actually was one of the most wonderful people she had ever known. She opened her mouth not knowing what to say, even before she could, the three of them heard a thunderous noise outside, and they were consumed by a strong white light.

They were found by Vega.

[cynthiajayusa]

‘Schitt’s Creek’ Creator Dan Levy Talks Queer Journey

Oh, sure, Dan Levy gets excited. Really, he does! The sparkle may not be written on his face – cherubic, distinguished, writerly; one with features much like his actor-dad, Eugene Levy – but inside you can bet he’s screaming. It’s a Canadian thing.

Our conversation takes place on a day in mid December, the day after Pop TV’s Schitt’s Creek, his farcical and heartfelt sitcom about a family stripped of their riches that is lovingly created as a gift to this godforsaken world with his father, has picked up a Critics’ Choice nod for Best Comedy Series and Levy is screaming. Really!

“We have a limit to how excited we can be about ourselves,” he says, snickering. He continues, Canadian-modesty fully intact: “But it’s a thrill.”

The thrill humbly extended to a tweet written by the out 35-year-old conveying gratitude for the show’s recent wins when GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics awarded Schitt’s Creek with two honors, TV Comedy of the Year and Unsung TV Show of the Year, during their annual Dorian Awards. (Full, proud disclosure: I’m a member, and I voted for Schitt’s Creek in both categories.)

Get Levy talking about Mariah Carey – the diva inspiration for one of season 4’s sweetest and gayest lines, pertaining to his onscreen boyfriend, Patrick (Noah Reid) – and he won’t stop screaming. We spoke about the Elusive Chanteuse’s prominent place on Schitt’s Creek and about what’s in store for his lovably dramatic character, David Rose, mom Moira (Catherine O’Hara), dad Johnny (Eugene Levy) and sister Alexis (Annie Murphy) in season 5. Plus, this season’s coming out story that Levy says was an emotional shoot and “my proudest episode.”

I was feeling such disappointment when the Golden Globes and the Emmys didn’t acknowledge Schitt’s Creek yet again this year. So, this Critics’ Choice nod must feel like, “Finally, awards committees are catching up to the rest of the world.”

Slowly but surely we’re cracking into that illustrious group of shows that get nominated for things and it’s a wonderful feeling. We’re a very small show, and I think for very small shows that don’t necessarily have huge resources to promote themselves for award consideration, a nomination from the critics at this point is fantastic. It means it’s been word-of-mouth, and I think the fact that we are also streaming on Netflix has cracked us open to an entirely new and different audience as well.

And listen, our team, first and foremost, just wants to tell really interesting stories and wants to have fun when we go to work every day, and that has always been the goal for me as someone who’s running the show. The minute you start to look outside and think, “Oh, we’re being recognized for this; people are putting us on lists,” it’s wonderful but it can really change the experience of making your show. Suddenly you’re more concerned about, “Are things living up to the standards that the media have kindly set for us?” And that can be really intimidating.

So I try not to pay attention as much as I possibly can; especially when we’re making our show, I try to disengage from all of that so we can really focus on what’s ultimately going to serve our characters. But I’m not gonna lie: It’s been a joy over the past couple of years to see our show up there in the ranks of other shows that I have long admired myself. So I’m just ultimately bursting with pride for our team.

How are the Roses coping with each other during season 5?

Season 4 was a really emotional chapter in this family’s trajectory and we were able to really peel back some layers and show a lot of growth. Season 5 is really about having fun. The guards are down a little bit, which means we can have more fun with our characters, we can put them in stranger situations.

We tried our best to pair characters this season with characters that have never been paired before and really take stories outside of the box and expand our world a little bit, so this season was always intended to be the shiniest and brightest and boldest we’ve ever done. But I’m just really excited because there’s so much in store in season 5. It’s bursting with life and joy and I can’t wait for, particularly, a few episodes.

David does a lot of things this season that, for me, as a gay kid growing up, were horrifying: tree-climbing, baseball. What was your favorite David adventure to shoot this season?

The fun thing about David is he’s someone who has put on such a front for so long that he has really, over the course of his two years in this town, allowed himself to just get in better touch with himself and expose himself to vulnerability in ways that he never would have. So something like the first episode of season 5 (laughs) – constantly feeling the need to prove his relationship and how far he’s willing to go for it – was really fun. I mean, the day was grueling and I was stuck up there (in the trees) for, I think, seven hours…

So by the end of the shoot, your face was David’s. You weren’t even acting anymore.

(Laughs) The character and me as a person really came together in those moments. But yeah, I would say the excitement of our first episode back is really an indicator of what’s to come.

I can’t believe these characters are just now trying on Moira’s wigs. How did that not already happen?

The idea was, for us, that she needed to be on a totally different continent in order for David and Alexis to even dare touch that wall, because of all the things, all the buttons you can press with Moira, those wigs are everything (laughs). So we thought it could be really fun, considering no one’s ever tried them on. And we never ever really touched it, but that was really out of respect for Moira, who was holding court in her home. Now that she’s away we can all sort of have some fun with it, and getting to select which wig we got was a really fun process too. I tried on that little blunt, blonde wig that I wear in the episode and thought, “Well, this could be good for my real life!”

Will there be more Mariah stuff? And also, how much Mariah is played on set?

A lot of Mariah is played just in my life, which seeps into my professional life. She tweeted about the show last year after the Mariah Carey reference in our season 4 finale.

You recently celebrated that tweet’s anniversary on your IG.

I’ll be celebrating that anniversary for years to come. I lost it. There’s been some amazing people who’ve said some wonderful things about the show, but the Mariah Carey tweet, to me, was like, I don’t even know how to process that. I think back to being a teenager, putting up Mariah Carey posters on my bedroom walls. It was a full-circle moment.

The last time we chatted you told me that one episode in particular this season made you cry. Why is it so meaningful to you?

It’s a layered thing. I find it sometimes quite emotional to be in the position that I am in, to be able to tell queer stories and show them on a mass scale, to write moments and stories, and in this particular case a love story, that seems to really affect people. It’s hard not to think back to a time in your life where you didn’t have that kind of freedom. For me, I think back to high school when I was still in the closet and wondering if I would ever be able to live out in the open. To now be in the position that I am, getting to write what I find to be a really lovely queer romance that millions of people get to watch, it’s quite profound.

And how about the episode’s impact on you?

It’s a particular moment that I had to write that is something that most queer people go through and articulating that, dramatizing that, is just a very meaningful episode for me and for a character in our show. It’s a coming out episode. So getting to write that and trying to find a way around that kind of story that’s been told several times in film and television and literature, finding a dynamic way into that story and out of that story, was probably the greatest joy and challenge I’ve had as a writer for TV. And now that we’ve cut and polished the episode it’s my proudest episode we’ve done as a show.

Given that you understand the weight of this show on your audience, I’m guessing David and Patrick will never break up.

(Laughs) Um, I don’t ever want them to, but you never know what happens. All I know is that we do understand what our fans are enjoying and we certainly wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their loyalty.

It’s the first successful relationship I’ve had in a while and it’s not even mine.

Funnily enough, me too.

For the Schitt’s Creek: Up Close & Personal tour, you and some cast members are touring various U.S. cities. How did the idea for the tour start and are there any Tina Turner musical numbers?

(Laughs) The idea for the tour started mainly because I think so much of the success of our show is based on the enthusiasm and the word-of-mouth that has come from our fans. And the feedback that I’ve received from our fans has been so much more than, “We love your show”; it’s long letters about how this show has provided sort of a safe space, a happy space, a joyful space in dark times. We seem to have a relationship with the people who watch our show and love our show that is slightly deeper than I think the relationship that a lot of people have with the shows that they watch on TV.

Shooting the show in Canada, we don’t ever really have access to a lot of our fans. We shoot for three months out of the year and the rest of the time is me editing or writing the show, and a lot of the response and feedback we got from fans was a desire to interact with the cast, and so we started developing this idea. It’s a Q-and-A, it’s very casual. We show some things we’ve never shown before, we show some behind-the-scenes stuff, we show some bloopers, and there may or may not be a musical performance that may or may not involve a Tina Turner song sung by someone who may or may not play my boyfriend on a television show (laughs). But for us, it’s a great way for us to meet our fans and for the fans to come and say hi in person. We did our first in Los Angeles a little while ago and it was incredible. There was so much love in the room.

Regarding the writing, do you think in terms of meme-able moments in the writers’ room?

No, no! In fact, there was some kind of Instagram sticker – you know the GIF stickers you can use? There’s one of Moira that apparently had like a billion views or something insane, and I’m always sort of amazed how people have taken moments from our show and turned them into these little internet memes, because when we’re writing we never really think about that. But it’s quite an expressive show (laughs), so I understand how it would be very easy to take some reactions from our cast and make some sort of universal reactions of disgust or confusion.

I used your face when I was disappointed by the Golden Globe nominations.

(Laughs) I’m so happy that I could be there for you in that time.

Has working on this show and writing queer characters with your dad bonded you in ways you didn’t expect it to?

I honestly don’t know, actually. The show has been sort of wonderful in the sense that we have been put in a position where we get to see each other every day. I think just going through the experience of making this show and seeing its success has been a wonderful thing for the two of us.

There are just times in your life when things happen that you’ll never forget and you know that you’re sort of in the middle of doing something quite special and lasting, so I know that whatever I do after this show, we’ll always have this time together, we’ll always have this sort of chapter of our lives that we got to immortalize on screen, which is quite lovely.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/02/28/schitts-creek-creator-dan-levy-talks-queer-journey/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2019/02/schitts-creek-creator-dan-levy-talks.html

[demitgibbs]

‘Schitt’s Creek’ Creator Dan Levy Talks Queer Journey

Oh, sure, Dan Levy gets excited. Really, he does! The sparkle may not be written on his face – cherubic, distinguished, writerly; one with features much like his actor-dad, Eugene Levy – but inside you can bet he’s screaming. It’s a Canadian thing.

Our conversation takes place on a day in mid December, the day after Pop TV’s Schitt’s Creek, his farcical and heartfelt sitcom about a family stripped of their riches that is lovingly created as a gift to this godforsaken world with his father, has picked up a Critics’ Choice nod for Best Comedy Series and Levy is screaming. Really!

“We have a limit to how excited we can be about ourselves,” he says, snickering. He continues, Canadian-modesty fully intact: “But it’s a thrill.”

The thrill humbly extended to a tweet written by the out 35-year-old conveying gratitude for the show’s recent wins when GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics awarded Schitt’s Creek with two honors, TV Comedy of the Year and Unsung TV Show of the Year, during their annual Dorian Awards. (Full, proud disclosure: I’m a member, and I voted for Schitt’s Creek in both categories.)

Get Levy talking about Mariah Carey – the diva inspiration for one of season 4’s sweetest and gayest lines, pertaining to his onscreen boyfriend, Patrick (Noah Reid) – and he won’t stop screaming. We spoke about the Elusive Chanteuse’s prominent place on Schitt’s Creek and about what’s in store for his lovably dramatic character, David Rose, mom Moira (Catherine O’Hara), dad Johnny (Eugene Levy) and sister Alexis (Annie Murphy) in season 5. Plus, this season’s coming out story that Levy says was an emotional shoot and “my proudest episode.”

I was feeling such disappointment when the Golden Globes and the Emmys didn’t acknowledge Schitt’s Creek yet again this year. So, this Critics’ Choice nod must feel like, “Finally, awards committees are catching up to the rest of the world.”

Slowly but surely we’re cracking into that illustrious group of shows that get nominated for things and it’s a wonderful feeling. We’re a very small show, and I think for very small shows that don’t necessarily have huge resources to promote themselves for award consideration, a nomination from the critics at this point is fantastic. It means it’s been word-of-mouth, and I think the fact that we are also streaming on Netflix has cracked us open to an entirely new and different audience as well.

And listen, our team, first and foremost, just wants to tell really interesting stories and wants to have fun when we go to work every day, and that has always been the goal for me as someone who’s running the show. The minute you start to look outside and think, “Oh, we’re being recognized for this; people are putting us on lists,” it’s wonderful but it can really change the experience of making your show. Suddenly you’re more concerned about, “Are things living up to the standards that the media have kindly set for us?” And that can be really intimidating.

So I try not to pay attention as much as I possibly can; especially when we’re making our show, I try to disengage from all of that so we can really focus on what’s ultimately going to serve our characters. But I’m not gonna lie: It’s been a joy over the past couple of years to see our show up there in the ranks of other shows that I have long admired myself. So I’m just ultimately bursting with pride for our team.

How are the Roses coping with each other during season 5?

Season 4 was a really emotional chapter in this family’s trajectory and we were able to really peel back some layers and show a lot of growth. Season 5 is really about having fun. The guards are down a little bit, which means we can have more fun with our characters, we can put them in stranger situations.

We tried our best to pair characters this season with characters that have never been paired before and really take stories outside of the box and expand our world a little bit, so this season was always intended to be the shiniest and brightest and boldest we’ve ever done. But I’m just really excited because there’s so much in store in season 5. It’s bursting with life and joy and I can’t wait for, particularly, a few episodes.

David does a lot of things this season that, for me, as a gay kid growing up, were horrifying: tree-climbing, baseball. What was your favorite David adventure to shoot this season?

The fun thing about David is he’s someone who has put on such a front for so long that he has really, over the course of his two years in this town, allowed himself to just get in better touch with himself and expose himself to vulnerability in ways that he never would have. So something like the first episode of season 5 (laughs) – constantly feeling the need to prove his relationship and how far he’s willing to go for it – was really fun. I mean, the day was grueling and I was stuck up there (in the trees) for, I think, seven hours…

So by the end of the shoot, your face was David’s. You weren’t even acting anymore.

(Laughs) The character and me as a person really came together in those moments. But yeah, I would say the excitement of our first episode back is really an indicator of what’s to come.

I can’t believe these characters are just now trying on Moira’s wigs. How did that not already happen?

The idea was, for us, that she needed to be on a totally different continent in order for David and Alexis to even dare touch that wall, because of all the things, all the buttons you can press with Moira, those wigs are everything (laughs). So we thought it could be really fun, considering no one’s ever tried them on. And we never ever really touched it, but that was really out of respect for Moira, who was holding court in her home. Now that she’s away we can all sort of have some fun with it, and getting to select which wig we got was a really fun process too. I tried on that little blunt, blonde wig that I wear in the episode and thought, “Well, this could be good for my real life!”

Will there be more Mariah stuff? And also, how much Mariah is played on set?

A lot of Mariah is played just in my life, which seeps into my professional life. She tweeted about the show last year after the Mariah Carey reference in our season 4 finale.

You recently celebrated that tweet’s anniversary on your IG.

I’ll be celebrating that anniversary for years to come. I lost it. There’s been some amazing people who’ve said some wonderful things about the show, but the Mariah Carey tweet, to me, was like, I don’t even know how to process that. I think back to being a teenager, putting up Mariah Carey posters on my bedroom walls. It was a full-circle moment.

The last time we chatted you told me that one episode in particular this season made you cry. Why is it so meaningful to you?

It’s a layered thing. I find it sometimes quite emotional to be in the position that I am in, to be able to tell queer stories and show them on a mass scale, to write moments and stories, and in this particular case a love story, that seems to really affect people. It’s hard not to think back to a time in your life where you didn’t have that kind of freedom. For me, I think back to high school when I was still in the closet and wondering if I would ever be able to live out in the open. To now be in the position that I am, getting to write what I find to be a really lovely queer romance that millions of people get to watch, it’s quite profound.

And how about the episode’s impact on you?

It’s a particular moment that I had to write that is something that most queer people go through and articulating that, dramatizing that, is just a very meaningful episode for me and for a character in our show. It’s a coming out episode. So getting to write that and trying to find a way around that kind of story that’s been told several times in film and television and literature, finding a dynamic way into that story and out of that story, was probably the greatest joy and challenge I’ve had as a writer for TV. And now that we’ve cut and polished the episode it’s my proudest episode we’ve done as a show.

Given that you understand the weight of this show on your audience, I’m guessing David and Patrick will never break up.

(Laughs) Um, I don’t ever want them to, but you never know what happens. All I know is that we do understand what our fans are enjoying and we certainly wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize their loyalty.

It’s the first successful relationship I’ve had in a while and it’s not even mine.

Funnily enough, me too.

For the Schitt’s Creek: Up Close & Personal tour, you and some cast members are touring various U.S. cities. How did the idea for the tour start and are there any Tina Turner musical numbers?

(Laughs) The idea for the tour started mainly because I think so much of the success of our show is based on the enthusiasm and the word-of-mouth that has come from our fans. And the feedback that I’ve received from our fans has been so much more than, “We love your show”; it’s long letters about how this show has provided sort of a safe space, a happy space, a joyful space in dark times. We seem to have a relationship with the people who watch our show and love our show that is slightly deeper than I think the relationship that a lot of people have with the shows that they watch on TV.

Shooting the show in Canada, we don’t ever really have access to a lot of our fans. We shoot for three months out of the year and the rest of the time is me editing or writing the show, and a lot of the response and feedback we got from fans was a desire to interact with the cast, and so we started developing this idea. It’s a Q-and-A, it’s very casual. We show some things we’ve never shown before, we show some behind-the-scenes stuff, we show some bloopers, and there may or may not be a musical performance that may or may not involve a Tina Turner song sung by someone who may or may not play my boyfriend on a television show (laughs). But for us, it’s a great way for us to meet our fans and for the fans to come and say hi in person. We did our first in Los Angeles a little while ago and it was incredible. There was so much love in the room.

Regarding the writing, do you think in terms of meme-able moments in the writers’ room?

No, no! In fact, there was some kind of Instagram sticker – you know the GIF stickers you can use? There’s one of Moira that apparently had like a billion views or something insane, and I’m always sort of amazed how people have taken moments from our show and turned them into these little internet memes, because when we’re writing we never really think about that. But it’s quite an expressive show (laughs), so I understand how it would be very easy to take some reactions from our cast and make some sort of universal reactions of disgust or confusion.

I used your face when I was disappointed by the Golden Globe nominations.

(Laughs) I’m so happy that I could be there for you in that time.

Has working on this show and writing queer characters with your dad bonded you in ways you didn’t expect it to?

I honestly don’t know, actually. The show has been sort of wonderful in the sense that we have been put in a position where we get to see each other every day. I think just going through the experience of making this show and seeing its success has been a wonderful thing for the two of us.

There are just times in your life when things happen that you’ll never forget and you know that you’re sort of in the middle of doing something quite special and lasting, so I know that whatever I do after this show, we’ll always have this time together, we’ll always have this sort of chapter of our lives that we got to immortalize on screen, which is quite lovely.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2019/02/28/schitts-creek-creator-dan-levy-talks-queer-journey/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/183119013920