#but now with. current circumstances. it just hits a lil different i guess | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wienerbarnes · 5 years ago

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Hot Chocolate

Pairing: Bucky x Reader (Cheek to Cheek)

Word Count: 1,543

Warnings: Mentions of murder and apple pie

A/N: a ha ha heres another lil one shot of these two! send in requests for this pairing if yall got ideas!

MAIN MASTERLIST | CHEEK TO CHEEK MASTERLIST

“Excuse me, Miss? Someone ordered this for you, it seems like you’ve got yourself a secret admirer. Anyways, enjoy.”

The waiter places down a slice of delicious apple pie down in front of you with a smile, obviously thinking there was more to this dessert than Bucky finding out where you’ve been. You glance at the cinnamon-sugar syrup that pours out of the sides of the slice, the glazed apples smelling like heaven as they hit your nostrils. Without touching it, you slowly turn your body from the high stool you’re sitting on and scan the room, eyes passing over every head in the room before landing on a black hood.

Back facing you, the black hood takes a sip of whatever is in their mug before placing it back down on the saucer, a black glove gently letting go of the handle as it makes it’s landing.

Now who’s the one guy I know that wears gloves like that in public?

Pie in hand, you make your way over to the small booth Bucky has for himself before taking a seat across from him.

“What the fuck is this?”

“Looks like a piece of pie to me, doll. Why, you find a hair in it or something?”

You roll your eyes to the back of your head and push a hand through greasy hair with a deep sigh.

“How did you find me here?”

“You know I did this for, like, eighty years, right?”

Bucky slides the sunglasses off his face and places them on the table next to his tea in order to see you better. You’re a blonde now. And it seems you’ve gotten more piercings as you have a few extra studs on your ears than he remembers. A denim jacket hangs on your frame on top of the long sleeve shirt you got from his apartment the night he stitched you up.

He won’t lie, Bucky’s definitely been looking for you. And you do a great job of hiding yourself. It took him about two months of extensive research, only to find you in this diner-slash-bookstore(?) on accident while he was taking a break.

Through his research, though, he did find out a lot more about you. Information besides what he learned from your criminal file.

You lived with your grandparents until the age of fourteen when they passed away. You lived with someone named Kathleen Grover, who was listed as a “family friend” on any legal documents concerning your guardianship. You dropped out of high school at age fifteen before applying for a pre-marine program. At age eighteen, you started your career as a marine before going missing in action after two years. There’s a large, blank time frame there, but Bucky can guess that’s when your Hydra career began. Probably not so different from him. Kidnapped, tortured to comply, committing crimes until you were eventually caught. With his math, you’re about twenty-eight now.

Most twenty-eight-year-old’s are married. Planning for kids. Building their career. Buying houses. But instead you’re sitting across from him in his shop, looking very angry at the slice of pie he bought you.

This shop isn’t far from the fresh market he first saw you at after your escape. About two hours from his apartment, but about ten minutes from what used to be Kathleen Grover’s address. She’s since passed away, under mysterious circumstances, he might add, but it was a start to finding where you’d be.

You’ve been away from society for almost a decade, so it’s only natural to try to go somewhere familiar. From what he read, he doesn’t imagine you did much traveling in your teen years.

“Anything else I can get for you two?” The waiter interrupts Bucky’s thoughts.

“Hot chocolate for the lady, please.” Bucky orders without taking his eyes off you. The waiter gives a short nod and walks off to put in the drink.

“So, what is it you want?” You finally ask, after giving in the sweet scent of the pie in front of you and placing a spoonful into your mouth.

“Who says I want anything?”

“Why else would you have come all the way out here to find me?”

Why did he come all the way out here to find you? Absolutely no one at the tower nor the FBI are any closer to finding where you’ve hid yourself. They assumed the first thing you’d do was find a flight out here so they've been searching country after country to find you when you have been in their backyard the entire time. Smart on your part, but probably accidental seeing as you have no way to get out of here anyway. He’s not here to ask you any favors, he doesn’t need anything done for him, so why did he come all the way here?

“I-”

“Hot chocolate?”

A young woman holding a steaming mug of hot chocolate awaits confirmation. You give a shy smile and hold out your hands to receive the drink. As soon as your fingertips reach the saucer the waitress is holding, a loud gasp escapes your body and you flinch harshly, causing the mug to fly out of both your hands and crash on the ground.

“Oops! I’m so sorry about that! Let me clean this up and I’ll get another drink for you, on the house! Sorry again!” The waitress frantically rushes away to get a mop.

Bucky looks at you to see your eyes wide and lips turned into a frown. He glances down at your hands that are tucked towards the center of your chest to see them shaking. He listens closely and hears your heart beating a mile a minute.

“What just happened?” Bucky asks, voice low yet curious. His question seems to snap you out of your thoughts as you jump once more and meet his eyes.

“Nothing. Nothing just happened. In fact, I gotta go.” You push your hands through your hair once more, clearly stressed about the broken mug.

“Did you see something? Just now? When you touched the mug, you saw something.” Bucky concludes.

You don’t respond as the waitress returns and begins cleaning up the mess on the floor.

“What did you see?” Bucky whispers, desperate to hear about what’s troubling you.

“That girl- she-she, uh,” You stutter. “Nothing. It’s nothing.” You quickly stand and make your way towards the door.

Bucky stands as well and struggles to get his wallet out of his pocket. When he finally gets it out he throws a few bills on the table before rushing after you to catch up. After coming out through the door, he looks up and down the sidewalk to see no sign of you.

“Fuck.” Bucky mumbles to himself.

Nowhere on the sidewalk. Not across the street. Where the fuck did you go? Bucky reaches his right hand up to rub the crease in his forehead between his eyes roughly before making his way back to where he parked his bike on the street.

Fucking idiot, you couldn’t just pay attention? God, it was thirty seconds that you took your eyes off her and now she’s gone for who knows how long this time. Now what are you-

A folded napkin tucked into the curve of his bike handle catches his attention. He takes it out of the crease and opens it to see an address with tomorrow’s date on it.

Is your way of letting him in? On your own terms? Maybe you see he’s not a threat to you, but you probably don’t fully trust him yet. Bucky smiles and tucks the napkin into his front pocket and swings his leg over to mount the bike.

For someone who has such a fucked up past, this is a huge step. You’re a lot more forgiving than he was when he was getting back into having a life. Braver, too.

Bucky’s ride home is long, but not miserable with the warmth of that napkin in his pocket.

…

Later that night, Bucky gives loving scratches to Alpine who purrs on his chest. He flips through channels with his free hand when a familiar face catches his eye.

Bucky goes back to the channel to see the news and he sits up quickly with a gasp.

“Young Amy Stevens has been arrested this afternoon and is currently being held in custody for the string of murders we’ve seen these last couple of weeks. It is unknown whether or not she has a lawyer, but she has already confessed to police upon being detained that she is guilty for these deaths. If found guilty, Stevens will be going to prison for a very long time for her involvement in the murder of four young men. More information tomorrow, have a good night everyone.”

Bucky’s mouth hangs open at the sight of the waitress from the diner earlier today plastered on his television screen. A serial killer, a fucking serial killer.

That’s what you saw. You probably saw this girl killing random guys when you touched that mug.

A tired sigh escapes him as the channel switches from the news to some commercial and an angry kitten paws at his hand wondering why his dad stopped giving him scratches.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes oneshot #marvel #marvel fanfiction #bucky x reader #mcu

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sergeanttucker · 5 years ago

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Super Soldier Sandwich,PartTwo

Summary: Bucky and (Y/N) throw a Party and Steve stays longer to help ‘clean up’.

Warning: Smut! ,badly written smut!, some dirty talk and swearing, oral sex (f/m receiving), a little choking, Steve’s and Bucky’s dirty mouth, lil soft/jealous/possessive Bucky, frustrated Steve, awkward Steve at the end

Word count: 4467 (Don’t know what’s going on anymore)

AN - The second part of our Sandwich is finished! Please note, this is the last part! You can still request other Sandwiches with different Characters, I’m excited to write more of them! Send me your ideas. The more Detail, the better!

AN2 - Like Always, it got out of Hand a Little. I hope you enjoy! And if you are interested to get tagged in the next Sandwich, send me an ask! I will probably open a tag list for it.

AN - It’s Kind of dirty.

Bucky carried (Y/N) into the bedroom and dropped her onto the bed. A squeak left her lips as she bounced off the mattress. The two men stood at the foot of the bed and let their eyes wander over (Y/N)’s naked body. A blush covered her skin as the eyes of the soldiers fell between her legs. It’s nothing they hadn’t seen before, but she still felt insecure about their intense look and closed her legs.

Their eyes snapped up to her face, and she swallowed thickly at the hungry expression on their faces. They looked as if they wanted to eat her alive! Well, Steve already did... Both of them crawled up the bed, one on each side, effectively trapping her between their rock-hard bodies.

Even though she thought of herself as a very lucky woman with both Bucky and Steve inside her bed, she couldn’t help the sudden anxiety that crept up in the back of her head. It’s as if the two orgasms she already had had sobered her up because suddenly, reality crashed into her.

How would sex with two men even work? Not to mention with two super soldiers who could snap her in half with a twist of their hands? And how was she supposed to behave around Steve after this night?

Her mouth run dry and her body began to tremble as her thoughts drew her into an undesirable series of thoughts. (Y/N) knew she was overthinking but her mind wouldn’t stop producing stupid doubts! She was so deep in thoughts she didn’t even notice the movements beside her until Bucky cupped her jaw and turned her head to face him.

He stroked her cheek with his thumb. His brows were furrowed as he watched her trembling form, concern written all over his face. He stopped Steve who didn’t seem to notice her current state as he ducked his head down to press his lips against her skin.

“You okay, doll? We don’t have to do anything if you’re not comfortable.” His voice was soft and comforting.

A small smile tugged at her lips at his concern. Whatever the circumstances, Bucky’s top priority was always her well-being. (Y/N) swallowed the lump in her throat and touched the hand that still held her jaw. “It’s fine... Just.. Just nerves, I guess.”

Bucky watched her face for a moment longer, looking for a sign that she had lied and actually wanted to stop. When he didn’t find what he was looking for, he just nodded with a soft smile on his handsome face before he leaned down and kissed her gently. “We’ll go slow. If something is wrong at any time, you tell me and I’ll kick Steve’s ass out of here. Deal?”

She only got to nod as Steve interrupted whatever she wanted to say. “What’s that supposed to mean? I would never do something without her consent!” He had an offended expression on his face, his voice a little higher than usual.

Bucky rolled his eyes and threw him a slightly annoyed look. “I know you don’t. I wouldn’t let you near her if I thought you would force her to something. Besides, I would kill you if you tried.”

(Y/N) watched him with a mix of admiration and shock. Was he serious? It very much sounded as if he were. He would kill his best friend for her? She hoped she would never find out. Should it turn her on as much as it did? Probably not.

“Is thi…” This time, it was (Y/N) who interrupted Steve, she stopped their bickering before the mood was completely killed. “Guys?! Can we please not talk about killing each other? I’m really fucking horny and need you to do something about it but if you want to fight instead, I will just get me off myself.” Both their heads spun around at her words. Steve looked intrigued. Watching her pleasure herself? Anytime! Bucky, on the other hand, didn’t look as happy as the blond man. His jaw was set into a hard line as he squinted his eyes at her.

He ducked his head down towards her ear. One of his hands grabbed her throat as he whispered to her. “If you talk to me like this one more time, I will spank your little ass until you can’t sit for a week. Got it?” His hand tightened briefly. The low timbre of his voice sent shivers down her spine as she nodded. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“No, you’re not. Not yet, at least. But misbehave one more time and you will be.” (Y/N) whimpered at his words, they never failed to make her knees weak and she was grateful she was laying on the bed, otherwise she would have fallen over.

Bucky pressed a harsh kiss to her lips, biting it so hard he almost drew blood before his mouth wandered down to suck a mark on her neck. “Now, tell me babygirl. Who do you want to fuck you first?”

Two hands belonging to two different people caressed her legs, tickling her sensitive thighs as they slowly approached their destination. They reached her slick folds at the same time, not giving her friction just resting them there. Her hips bucked up, trying to encourage them to give her what she wanted. She was at a loss for words, her mind completely blank.

“Come on, darling. Tell us what you want.” Steve had leaned down to murmur in her ear, licking the shell of her ear when he was finished. “I... I want to suck Bucky off while Steve fucks me.”

Both men groaned deeply at her breathy voice. Steve opened her legs further as Bucky drew his metal fingers through her folds, collecting the wetness to slowly circle her clit before his fingers dipped down to her entrance. A breathless moan left her lips at the contact, hips bucking upward. “Gonna open you up, baby.” He pushed one finger in, reaching deep enough to hit her special spot.

(Y/N) threw her head back and closed her eyes, gasping as Bucky’s fingertip grazed her g-spot. “Gonna open you up for Steve’s cock, so you can take him nice and deep. You want that, hm? Want your Captain to pound your little cunt?” Another finger joined the first one. Steve’s hand joined Bucky’s as he rubbed circles on her clit, edging her closer to orgasm as he dipped his head down to bite and suck at her nipple.

The sensation of two different hands between her legs and the mumbled dirty words quickly brought her dangerously close. She was already a sweaty, moaning mess as she fell apart beneath the soldier’s touches. “Shit... Yes, daddy... please. Wanna get fucked.” She was babbling, and she knew it but she couldn’t form a coherent sentence.

Steve groaned with her nipple in his mouth. He withdrew his hand and head from her, staring into her eyes with an almost animalistic look in his usual soft eyes. “Enough. I need to be inside her.”

Bucky eyed Steve sideways, his jaw was clenched as he listened to the blond man. He gave him orders? In his own bedroom? They weren’t on a mission, for fuck’s sake! Bucky swallowed the sudden anger down and turned his eyes back to (Y/N), who was still trembling underneath him. His hard expression softened a fraction as he met her gaze.

“You ready, baby? Think you can take it?” He crocked his fingers against her walls, tearing a moan out of her as she desperately nodded. “Yes! I’m ready! Please...!” she was cut off from another moan as Bucky momentarily sped up the movement of his fingers before he pulled them out of her and held them in front of her face.

“Yeah, I think you are. Look at this, you’re absolutely soaked!” He smeared his fingers over her lips, biting his own as he did. “Taste yourself, babygirl.” She willingly opened her mouth, sucking at them as Bucky pressed them down on her tongue. (Y/N) swirled her tongue around them, moaning as her own taste hit her tongue.

“Good girl.” He cupped her jaw and gave her another harsh kiss, sucking her tongue into his mouth to get a taste himself. He broke the kiss and scooted a little to the side to make room for Steve who had watched impatiently.

He practically pounced on her, pressing a kiss to her lips before he sat up on his knees and with one swift movement turned her around and pulled her up on her hand and knees. Steve kneeled behind her and groaned as his eyes fell on her naked ass, still red from his earlier spanking. A mumbled “Fuck” left his lips; he just couldn’t resist and leaned down to be eye level with her dripping pussy. He licked a stripe all the way from her throbbing clit to her achingly empty hole, sending her jolting forward at the sudden pleasure.

Steve gripped her hips to pull her back against his tongue as he pressed it into her once before he leaned back up. His cock was nestled in between her wet folds, getting himself wet with her juices before the tip of his cock teased her entrance, just barely slipping the head inside before he pulled out again.

Bucky positioned himself in front of her, his cock only inches apart from her awaiting mouth. He lightly stroked himself, a smirk spread on his face at (Y/N)’s needy whimper. No matter how hard she had tried to push herself back against Steve’s dick, with his hand on her hip to hold her steady, it was useless. Her attempts to get closer to Bucky’s dick weren’t successful either. He pulled back as soon as she tried to stick her tongue out.

After an eternity, what actually was a minute, she got dizzy with desire and the need to be filled. The teasing of Steve’s cock on her clit and how he barely slipped into her, as well as the sight of Bucky pleasuring himself right in front of her, drove her insane and finally, she started to beg.

“Please... I can’t take this anymore. Please, fuck me. I need you to fuck me... please.” Only sobs came out of her mouth as her hips desperately tried to rock back against Steve.

Both men chuckled at her begging and decided that she had suffered enough. Steve circled her entrance one more time before he slowly pushed into her until he bottomed out. A deep and downright sinful moan erupted from his lips when (Y/N) squeezed her walls around him as soon as he was all the way in. “Shit, Darling... you’re so fucking tight. Feels like you’re choking my dick.”

(Y/N) was too far gone to give him a proper response as the pleasure of finally being filled shot through her body. Her mouth opened in a silent moan, and if it had not been for Bucky, who had buried one of his hands in her hair, she would have fallen forward.

“Just wait until she cums.” Bucky just smirked at him, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

After a few seconds of adjusting, Steve pulled out of her before he thrust back in. It started slow since they both needed some time to adjust of being connected so intimately. But as soon as Steve’s eyes dropped down to where his cock disappeared into her, he started to thrust faster. The sight of his cock drenched in her juices was too much for him to go slow. He wanted to hear her scream his name as her essence dripped onto the sheets.

Bucky couldn’t handle the moans and gasps of (Y/N) anymore. He needed release, so he guided her mouth towards his cock, pressing his tip against her lips. “Be a good girl, baby. Suck daddy’s dick.”

An embarrassing needy whine left her lips. With one of her hand she gripped his length, holding herself up with the other. She licked a stripe up his dick, circling the head with the tip of her tongue. Bucky’s relived sigh encouraged her to suckle his tip, drawing a moan from his lips. His hand was still tangled in her strands and he used his grip on her to guide her head down so she would take him deeper.

(Y/N) was grateful for his assistance. Steve’s thrusts were getting harder and faster, the pleasure he was giving her made it hard to concentrate to suck Bucky off. The dark-haired man started to thrust his hips in rhythm with his blond friend. Pushing into her mouth when he pulled out and the other way around. (Y/N) was shoved between them, always filled to the brim with one of them as her need to cum grew by the second.

The room was filled with the sound of slapping skin, slurping sounds and the moans of all three of them. It sounded utterly sinful and dirty and gosh did she love it!

Steve’s thrusts got erratic as he felt her walls pulsing around him, indicating that she was close. So close in fact, she had to tap Bucky’s hips so he would pull out of her mouth. She could barely breath as Steve fucked one moan after another out of her, sounding breathless himself. “So damn tight and wet. Your little cunt was made for this, wasn’t it? You love it to get fucked like this, don’t you?” (Y/N) wasn’t in the state of mind for an actual conversation and just nodded frantically her head as she moaned his name. Steve leaned over her, his chest pressed against her back as he littered her back and shoulder with kisses and bites.

One of his hands travelled underneath her body and touched her clit. (Y/N) jerked forwards at the contact, moaning his name loudly. She was so close; she could almost taste it! Her eyes were screwed shut but as she opened them, a pornographic moan left her lips as she had the perfect view of Bucky and how he stroked himself to the show in front of him.

Bucky could see how close she was; (Y/N)’s face scrunched up in concentration and her mouth opened slightly. Her breathing was ragged, her hands clenching the sheets as she desperately tried to not cum in this exact moment. After all, she needed permission to do so.

He grinned and licked his lips as he watched her wrecked expression.

“She is so fucking close. Just a little more.”

(Y/N) pressed harder back against Steve while she simultaneously tried to get more friction on her swollen clit. “Steve... Captain! Please, I need to cum! Pleeease, make me cum!” A groan rumbled through Steve’s chest at her words and he sped his movements on her clit and his thrusts up. He breathed heavily in her ear, biting her earlobe as he enjoyed every sound, she made for him.

“Come on, darling. I want to feel you squeeze my cock as you cum for me. Cum, now!” The whispered demand was enough to send her right over the edge. She was no longer able to hold herself up and fell forward as she screamed his name to all heavens. Both men groaned animalistic as (Y/N) came apart for them. Steve gripped her hips to hold her up as his thrusts got sloppier as her soft walls clenched his sensitive dick even harder than before. “Fuck... Shit...” Steve was no longer able to talk properly, only a few curses left his lips as he continued to thrust into her, chasing his own release.

As he watched Steve’s face distort in pleasure, Bucky felt an unpleasant feeling in his stomach. He felt his blood boil as a sudden sense of anger rose in him, but there was something else. Something that gnawed at the back of his head, a small voice whispering something to him. What was that?

He realized that it was jealousy as he watched how Steve’s thrusts lost their rhythm; they got harder as he desperately chased his own orgasm. Letting his best friend fuck his girl was one thing, but letting him cum inside her? Oh no, that’s too much. She’s his after all.

“Don’t you dare to cum inside of her.” His voice was dangerously low, a growl from the back of his throat. It sent shivers down (Y/N)’s back as a whimper left her lips when Bucky tugged her away from Steve, his dick falling out of her as he grumbled frustrated. “Shit, Buck! I was so close!”

“I know, that’s why I pulled her away from you. I’m the only one who gets to cum inside of her.” He quickly turned (Y/N) around so she faced Steve’s cock. “Go on, babygirl. Make him cum with your pretty little mouth.” Another whimper left her. She licked her lips once and gripped the base of his cock. Steve’s frustrated frown was soon replaced with an expression of utter pleasure as her wet tongue circled his sensitive head before it disappeared into her mouth. His hands gripped both sides of her head, holding her still as he bucked his hips back and forth.

(Y/N) pressed her tongue to the underside of his cock as she let him fuck her mouth. She sucked eagerly on his tip whenever she could as one of her hands cradled his balls, squeezing them gently. She gagged a few times when he hit the back of her throat but it didn’t stop her to swallow him down as far as she could. Steve’s breathing got more ragged the longer he fucked into her mouth, his chest heaving with every breath he took.

A fine layer of sweat covered his face and chest as he came closer to his release. “Fuck.. You’re so good with your mouth, darling. Gonna cum inside your throat and you will swallow everything.” He barely got these dirty words out of his mouth, constantly interrupted by groans. (Y/N)’s whimper was muffled against his pulsing cock. She could feel he was close and doubled her efforts. She took advantage of his wrecked state and took control over his movements.

She pulled him out of her mouth until only his head was between her lips and sucked. Hard. The hand that didn’t cradle his balls gripped his length and stroked him with a fast pace. Steve’s pornographic groan filled the room. He almost buckled over at the intense pleasure he was receiving. His eyes were screwed shut; his mouth opened in a loud groan as he released his seed into her mouth after a particular hard suck on his tip.

(Y/N) moaned satisfied as his taste hit her tongue and she eagerly drank it down. Her movements on his dick slowed down to help him ride out his pleasure while she simultaneously drew every last drop out of him. Oversensitivity caused Steve to pull away from her, he was light-headed and slumped onto his back on the bed. A lazy smile pulling at his lips. “God, dammit...”

(Y/N) giggled as she dropped onto the bed herself. Closing her eyes, she took a few deep breaths to calm down. Her moment of peace was interrupted at two hands pulled at her ankles and she slid down the bed, a startled yelp left her.

Bucky spread her legs and slipped between them, leaning down to be eye level with her. He pressed a passionate kiss to her lips and pushed his tongue inside her mouth as soon as it opened. (Y/N) sighed into the kiss, her hands carding through his hair. She tugged on it as Bucky rocked against her, his cock bumping her clit.

He broke the kiss and put his forehead against hers as one of his hands wandered over her body before it came to a stop at her thigh, pulling it up and over his hip. “You got one more in you for me, babygirl?” His lips touched hers as he murmured.

What a good question. Could she cum one more time? She already had three amazing orgasms. She didn’t know if she could; she already felt boneless and tired. But by the way Bucky looked deeply into her eyes, waiting for consent, she knew she would at least try.

She nodded before she leaned up slightly to steal another kiss from the men she loved. He returned it immediately and guided his cock to her entrance, slowly pushing inside. (Y/N) hissed at the sting, she was still sensitive from the previous round with Steve but she welcomed the slight pain and slung both her legs around his lower back to push him further.

Both of them breathed heavily when he bottomed out. Bucky groaned when her walls clenched around him. “Shit, doll. Not gonna last when you squeeze me like this.” He put both his arms beside her head, caging her in before he started to rut into her. He set a slow pace, grinding against her every time he bottomed out as he kissed, sucked and bit every inch of skin he could reach, effectively marking her up to show everyone, including Steve, who she belonged to.

(Y/N) was almost overwhelmed with how much she was surrounded by Bucky. His skin dragged against hers with every of his slow thrusts, one of his hands wound into her hair to keep her in place as he marked her neck up. Breathless gasps and quiet whispers of his name left (Y/N)’s mouth, one of her hands clawing at his back when his thrust got harder, reaching her special spot with every movement of his hips.

The sound of skin slapping against skin got louder as Bucky now pounded into her, still he kept a slow pace. His forehead was once again pressed against hers, their uneven breaths mingling together. “You’re mine, doll. Only mine.” Even though she didn’t need to be reminded of this, she didn’t mind hearing him say those words. She nodded frantically as her eyes fluttered close but she quickly opened them again as Bucky tugged at her hair.

“Don’t close your eyes. I want you to look at me when you cum.” Again, (Y/N) nodded, her nails dug into Bucky’s skin as his thrusts somehow got even harder. Her walls clenched around him, tearing a groan out of his throat which caused (Y/N) to whimper breathless. “James...”

“I know, baby. I can feel it. Gonna make you cum around my cock... Gonna cum inside you... Let everyone know you’re mine.” He kissed her harshly after he whispered those words loud enough for Steve to hear, one of his hands crept down between their body to rub circles against her clit. (Y/N) moaned loudly into the kiss, not only from his ministration on her body but from his words too.

She knew who they were directed to, the blond soldier still lay beside them and watched what they were doing, an irritated expression on his face when he listened to what his best friend said.

Bucky was never jealous before, so it surprised her to hear it in his voice but she had no time to follow her train of thoughts as Bucky repeatedly hammered against her g-spot. His fingers on her clit fastened their pace, he was determined to make her cum.

And he succeeded. With one more hard thrust, (Y/N) was pushed over the edge into another mind-blowing orgasm. Her walls clenched tightly around him as her legs pressed him against her. “JAAAMES....” A high-pitched drawn-out moan echoed in the room. It’s so intense, (Y/N) thought she would black out at any moment, even more so when Bucky suddenly fastened his pace and drove full force into her.

No sound left her lips as he drew her into another smaller orgasm, her walls clenched so hard around him, Bucky couldn’t take it anymore and shot spurts of his cum into her as he deeply groaned her name.

He slumped down, resting more of his weight onto her. (Y/N) embraced him; her head fell back against the mattress as she tried to catch her breath. It took Bucky quite some time to regain enough strength to pull his head out of the crock of her neck. He pressed a lazy, sloppy kiss against her lips before he trailed down to kiss one of the many marks he left on her neck, kissing it softly. “I love you, doll.” It’s a quiet whisper against her skin, but those words never failed to pull at her heartstrings. A little smile pulled at her lips as she replied with an out of breath “Love you, too.”

Bucky pressed on more kiss to her skin before he pulled away from her to go to the bathroom. When he entered the room again, (Y/N) still hadn’t moved. Her skin was flushed and her breasts heaving with every uneven breath she took. Steve watched her with admiration in his eyes and again, Bucky felt a mix of jealously and possessiveness rise in his guts. He briefly clenched his jaw before he tossed a wet cloth to him, hitting him the face. “You should clean up.”

He then crawled back between (Y/N)’s legs to clean her up. She hissed at the sting but smiled as Bucky pressed an apologetic kiss to her lips. After everyone was cleaned up, Bucky lay down beside her and tugged her against him, wrapping an around her and kissing her head lovingly. Both of their eyes closed as they basked in the company of each other.

Now that his need was quenched, Steve was unsure of what to do and nervously fiddled with his hands. Was he supposed to leave? Probably. He was about to get up as Bucky’s hand shot out and gripped his arm. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I ehh... I was about to leave.” He scratched the back of his neck as he watched (Y/N)’s eyes pop open. She looked tired and in dire need of sleep. “Stay. Please.” Her voice was only a whisper.

Steve swallowed hard before he briefly nodded and lay down beside her, his hands folded on his stomach. He didn’t know what to do or say, so he said the first thing that came to his mind. “Soo... that was... intense.”

Both Bucky and (Y/N) snorted out a laugh. Her giggle filled the room as she turned around slightly to tug him closer, taking his arm in her hand to wrap it around her waist. “Shut up, Steve.” Her voice was laced with a smile. She could imagine the slightly confused look on his face, causing her to giggle once more. Bucky smirked and mumbled a “Punk.” under his breath before everything went quiet and soon all of them were sound asleep.

-----------------------

Tags: @lexie-mo @thefandomzoneisdangerous @meme--overload @morganhoran1671 @itvariesfromlokitostrange @mrsbarneswillseeyou @underworldsheiress @rina-kou @sevenwonderslangdon @ladifreakingda @severepienerdturkey // Once again, Tumblr wont let me tag all of you. Sorry.

#bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes smut #steve rogers smut #bucky x reader smut #steve rogers x reader smut #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #stucky x reader #stucky smut #marvel smut #marvel x reader #avengers x reader #avengers smut #jelly writes

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tragiceyes · 5 years ago

Text

Recovery

I came across this song by AJR, and it made me think of Jason, so I wrote this lil’ fic. Give it a listen!

Lyrics are interspersed to break up the scenes - sorry this is unedited and sloppy, I’ll clean it up before posting to AO3.

This is a little different from my usual take on Jason. Hope you enjoy it anyway!

I've been so good, I've been helpful and friendly

I've been so good, why am I feeling empty?

I've been so good, I've been so good this year

100mg of Seroquel a day. Because what was the point of cashing in on his little portion of Gotham’s lucrative drug trade if Jason couldn’t buy brand-name?

It made Jason’s stomach hurt, if he didn’t take it with food. So he took it with food.

I've been so good, but it's still getting harder

I've been so good, where the hell is the karma?

I've been so good, I've been so good this year

A hefty dose of Lithium. 1200mg had made Jason feel like the walking dead, so he’d gotten it reduced to 900mg. He took it first thing in the morning, with a glass of orange juice.

And he was on the level all day long.

Why, are you asking me why?

My days and nights are filled with disappointment

Fine, oh no, everything's fine

I'm not sure why I booked today's appointment

Jason never heard him coming, but still somehow knew he was there.

Batman.

“I couldn’t help but notice you’ve gone non-lethal.”

He nodded.

“Any particular reason for this change?”

Jason sighed, too tired to tell him anything but the truth, “I’m trying to be better.”

What, am I normal or not?

Am I crazier than other patients?

Right, I've done everything right

So where's the karma doc, I've lost my patience

“So, this person you’ve been talking about…what did you say his name was?” Dr. Connor reviewed her notes.

“Rick.” Jason mumbled.

“Rick. Were you planning on asking him out?”

Jason stared at the ceiling. The first day he’d come into this office, he’d sat stiffly on the sofa and glared at Dr. Connor the entire time, as if he hadn’t made the choice to be there. To her credit, she hadn’t been put off by his rudeness. She’d let him sit, talk only to the degree to which he was comfortable.

And now here he was, lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling, glowing in the ambient, calming soft lighting.

“Why would I do that, Doc?” Jason replied listlessly.

Dr. Connor crossed her legs, “Well, you certainly talk about him a lot. And I think he’d be charmed by the way you wax poetic about him.”

Jason snorted in amusement. He marveled at how far he’d come. All the furniture was still in one piece, and he hadn’t stormed out, red-faced and enraged.

“Actually, knowing him, he’s probably heard it all before. He’s always had a long line of suitors willing to wax poetic, paint portraits, slay dragons…”

She chuckled good-naturedly, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Jason. For all you know, he waxes poetic about you.”

Jason highly doubted that. “I already asked him out, Doc…and he shot me down cold.” He blushed a little in shame. It didn’t matter how many sessions he had with Dr. Connors, rejection was never fun to relive. “He doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“When did this happen?”

“A while ago, way back before…all of this,” Jason waved casually around the therapist’s office, the photographs of beaches, the soft-colored painted walls, the stress toys he’d broken all too many times. “Not that I blame him for telling me where to shove it. I kind of, well…I didn’t handle it well when he said ‘no.’”

He looked up at her. Her pen was poised on her notepad. She gave him an encouraging smile.

He let out a sigh.

Red Hood and Nightwing had teamed up for at least six missions at the point that Jason had decided it was time to shoot his shot. The Lazarus Pit had taken pretty much everything from him, everything except the long-buried crush he’d harbored for his predecessor since the ill-fated Robin years.

But Jason wasn’t Robin anymore, and he could tell there was something between the two of them. Something in the way Dick smiled at him made Jason want to devour him, and see what that smile tasted like. Something in the way Dick swung through the night made Jason want to tackle him onto a rooftop, pin him down, and not let him get away. Being around Dick made Jason felt like a dog chasing cars. Only he was pretty sure he’d know what to do once he caught this one.

And he was planning on catching him. Jason showed up to Dick’s apartment unannounced, and swaggered his way inside when Dick opened the door to him, a confused look on his handsome face.

“Jason…what are you- I mean, what brings you here?”

“Came looking for you, Dickie-bird.” Jason replied with a smirk, not looking at him.

Dick looked like he didn’t really know what to say to that. He moved to walk past Jason, but Jason’s arm shot out to block his way.

“Stop playing hard-to-get, Dickie. It doesn’t suit you.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Dick replied easily, but Jason caught the way he bit his lip nervously.

“I mean you…and me.”

“Jason-“

“Don’t try and deny it.” He was fully boxing in Dick now, his arms on both sides.

Dick squirmed uncomfortably, “Jay…”

“Come get dinner with me,” Jason continued recklessly, “or, if you want, we can skip straight to dessert…”

Jason didn’t really remember what happened next, but he knew it was some embarrassing combination of himself leaning in to kiss Dick, Dick rebuffing him, and then Dick gently explaining his reasoning.

But Jason hadn’t heard anything past the rejection, and the rejection was blistering and hurtful and humiliating.

And so, as Jason was known to do, he flew off the handle.

“So you were just flirting with me for shits and giggles, I guess?! I should have know you were like that with everyone. Fucking slut!”

Dick looked at him in shock, “Okay, you need to leave now.”

“Fuck you!”

Jason swung a fist at him, but Dick ducked beneath his arm and used his momentum to grab Jason and pin him against the wall, arm behind his back. Jason let out a curse in anger, and swung violently enough to knock a glass jar off a nearby table. Dick’s other hand quickly gripped the back of his shirt and kept his face pushed against the wall.

“JASON. You need to listen to me right now.” Dick’s voice was angry and commanding and Jason hated him.

Under normal circumstances, Jason would have forced his way out of the grip, even if it meant breaking his own arm in the process, just to get back on the offensive and attack Dick with everything he had. But this time, something gave him pause.

“You don’t get to barge into my apartment and get aggressive with me. You don’t get to throw a fist a me when I reject you. You need to learn how to listen before reacting. Did you even hear what I fucking said, Jason? You stubborn asshole!”

Jason didn’t respond, but Dick wasn’t waiting for him.

“Your anger is out of control. You know what you need to do to get right. You’re going to leave my apartment now, and you are not coming back here until you do what you need to do.”

How someone could manage to be both cryptic and totally condescending was beyond Jason. Not that he could say as much in his current position.

Dick tightened his grip slightly before loosening it, “Don’t try and hit me again, Jason. I’ve been doing this longer than you have.”

But Jason wasn’t planning on it - he knew when he’d been bested. And he obediently walked out the door, red-faced and shamed.

“You know, it’s not so easy, Dick!” Jason cried hoarsely, “It’s really...it’s really fucking hard!”

Dick looked back at him coolly, “I know.”

And he closed the door.

Even as he recounted the story to the one person he knew wouldn’t judge him, Jason couldn’t help but feel a bit of a lump in his throat. He’d really screwed up that one.

“Tell me what you’re feeling right now.” Dr. Connors encouraged him.

“I can’t believe I did that.” Jason said, and to his horror, he felt his eyes get damp, “I can’t believe I threw shit and tried to hurt him for not wanting to date me. It’s fucking embarrassing to be such a shitty person all the time.”

“You’re not a shitty person, Jason,” She cut in, “Yes, you lost control in the moment. But you’ve been trying to battle these moods and symptoms on your own your entire life. Do you have any idea how hard that is? It’s not something everyone can do, and it certainly isn’t something most people can understand.

You have an illness, Jason, and you’re working hard to get better. If you were in this same situation again today, I have no doubt you’d be able to recognize the signs of an episode, and prepare accordingly. Either by tempering your anger, or removing yourself from the situation. Give yourself some credit.”

“But it doesn’t matter,” Jason said listlessly, “yes, I’m a lot better now. The meds and the therapy have been helping. I’m more level-headed and stable than I’ve every been before in my life. But it doesn’t matter, because I can’t take back what I did, and I blew my shot with him. He doesn’t want me around, and I don’t blame him.”

“Maybe he’ll forgive you. Have you tried to apologize?”

Jason shook his head. He couldn’t face Dick.

She didn’t let him off, “You should go to him and apologize. With sincerity. Mental illness can be an explanation for poor behavior, but it’s never an excuse. And since it sounds like he’s the one who convinced you to seek treatment in the first place…”

Dick’s words in his mind like a plea or a prayer.

You know what you need to do to get right.

He’d been right.

I've been so good, I've been working my ass off

I've been so good, still, I'm lonely and stressed out

I've been so good, I've been so good this year

What kind of idiot was Jason anyway? He’d been rejected once, twice, it might as well have been a thousand times.

Yet here he stood once again, right outside Dick’s door. This time he knocked.

Dick answered. Jason was staring at the floor.

“Jason.”

You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better?

The universe works in mysterious ways

But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me

He forced himself to meet Dick’s gaze.

“I’m sorry, Dick. I’m really sorry for the way I treated you. You didn’t deserve it, and I want you to know that I appreciate you trying to help me and I am trying to get better. I’m trying to be better.”

He swallowed, unsure of how to continue, “I-“

“It’s okay, Jason.” Dick replied simply, “I forgive you.”

Jason paused, feeling slightly wrong-footed.

“You seem calmer on patrol, and off it too. You’re no longer shooting to kill, rarely shooting to maim. I know you’re putting in a lot of effort, and I’m proud of you, Jason.”

“Oh. Um, well…good.” He said awkwardly, “Thanks.”

He’d done what he came to do. He turned to walk away.

“You came all this way,” Dick called breezily, “wasn’t there something you wanted to ask?”

Jason stared back at him, dumbfounded. A little part of his brain lit up with a memory of the night Dick had rejected him.

Dick had rejected him. But he’d said, “I can’t be with you, Jason. I want to, but I won’t, not before you see someone. You’ve been through a lot of shit, and you’re dealing with a lot of anger. I think you need to work on that before you enter a relationship with anyone.”

But Jason hadn’t heard any of it, not at the time. Rather, he hadn’t been listening.

“Well, now that you mention it…” Jason was blushing again. But this time he was smiling, too.

He could do this.

“…you free tonight?”

Doctor, should I be good?

Should I be good this year?

Dick smiled back.

#jaydick #my writing #angst #cw mental health

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thelastspeecher · 5 years ago

Text

I was going through my de-aging tag on my writing blog because I was in the mood for some cute de-aging fluff, and rediscovered my De-Aged Ford AU. My De-Aged Ford AU sort of kind of served as the basis for my Recoil fic, but they do vary a bit. Here’s the tag for it on my writing blog.

Anyways, as I was reading, I remembered that I started writing a scene that took place after Fidds had been aged from a baby to a tot, but I never finished it. And so I decided to finish it. Here it is. Some smol Fidds for your soul. Enjoy. Note: This takes place immediately following this ficlet.

——————————————————————————————

Fiddleford sighed. He was sitting on the floor of the living room, ignoring the television currently on.

“What was that for?” Stan grunted from his seat in the armchair.

“I’m bored,” Fiddleford whined. He knew his tone was petulant, but he didn’t care at this point. Ford and Lute had been gone for much longer than expected.

“You don’t like what’s on?” Stan asked. Fiddleford looked at the TV. The channel it was turned to was ESPN.

“No.”

“Fine.” Stan clicked the remote. The TV skipped through a series of channels before landing on a cartoon. “Here. Scooby-Doo reruns. How’s that?” Fiddleford rolled his eyes.

“Stanley, I ain’t-” He stopped, his eyes widening at Scooby-Doo being led somewhere with a Scooby Snack. “Ooh.” Fiddleford laid down on the floor and propped himself up on his elbows. “I want a Scooby Snack,” he said offhandedly. Stan chuckled.

“Same, kid.” Fiddleford was too distracted by the adventures of the Mystery Crew to point out that, under normal circumstances, he was actually a few years older than Stan. Angie walked into the living room. She glanced at Fiddleford, enraptured by the TV, then raised an eyebrow at Stan in a silent question. “He didn’t like football, so I changed the channel. Guess he likes cartoons more.” On the TV, laws of physics were suddenly defied by Scooby-Doo and Shaggy as they ran off a cliff and tread air for a few moments. Fiddleford laughed. Stan’s mouth quirked into a small smile. “Can’t really blame him.” The front door opened.

“Hello?” Ford called.

“Living room!” Stan shouted back. Ford rushed into the living room. He held up a bag of candy.

“Lute bought me the good jelly beans,” Ford said proudly.

“Shh!” Fiddleford said, waving a hand in Ford’s direction. His eyes were still glued to the screen. Ford blinked.

“Fidds?”

“Shh! They’re goin’ to find out who was behind the hauntin’!” Fiddleford said. Stan turned off the TV. Fiddleford let out a small yelp. “Hey!”

“Ford and Lute are back,” Stan said. “We need to figure out what we’re doing next.”

“But-”

“Scooby-Doo can wait,” Angie said patiently. Fiddleford huffed in frustration. Ford took a seat on the floor next to Fiddleford.

“Want one?” Ford asked politely, showing Fiddleford his bag of jelly beans. Fiddleford shook his head. “Good. More for me.” Ford tore open the bag. “It’s good to have you back, Fidds,” Ford said. He popped a few jelly beans into his mouth. “I was worried about what would happen, once you got re-aged. Would your mind still be there? Or would it not? Actually, how aware of things were you? It couldn’t have been enjoyable, if you were aware. I mean, you were a baby.”

“Swallow,” Angie said, “then talk. No talkin’ while yer chewin’.” Ford rolled his eyes, but swallowed the candy.

“Fine, mom,” Ford muttered. Fiddleford sat up. He stared at Ford.

“Why would ya call her that? She’s my lil sister! She’s younger ‘n you!”

“Yes, but she’s also acting like a mom,” Ford said. He took a white jelly bean out of the bag, inspected it carefully, and then put it back into the bag. Lute entered the living room with a bunch of plastic bags.

“Ya best not be spoilin’ yer lunch with candy,” Lute said. Ford set the bag of jelly beans down on the floor.

“No…”

“How ya feelin’, Fidds?” Lute asked, ignoring Ford’s obvious lying. Fiddleford shrugged.

“Bored. Stan put my toolbox out of reach, so I don’t have much to do.”

“You can help in the lab with me,” Ford suggested.

“Uh, no,” Lute said. “Fidds is too tiny. It ain’t safe in the lab fer a toddler.” Fiddleford looked at Lute.

“But Stanford gets to help?”

“He’s eight. Yer ‘bout two. That’s a difference of six years,” Lute explained. “And anyways, Ford doesn’t help out as much in the lab as he’s implyin’. Angie has him help her fer an hour a day, tops, then sends him back to us. A lab is a dangerous place fer kidlets.”

“What am I s’pposed to do all day, then?” Fiddleford demanded. Lute grinned. He dropped one of the bags he was holding onto the ground and nudged over to Fiddleford with his foot.

“Ford brought up that exact question. It’s part of the reason we were gone so long. We had to find somethin’ that would occupy ya.” Fiddleford looked in the bag. “Whattaya think?”

“Really?” Fiddleford grumbled. He reached in and retrieved a plastic screwdriver. “Really? Ya thought this would make me feel better? Playin’ engineer? I have a master’s degree!”

“Think of it as a challenge,” Angie suggested. “If ya can make a killer robot usin’ child’s toys, yer really the top of yer game.”

“No,” Fiddleford said shortly. He removed the other plastic tools from the bag, as well as a toy toolbox. “Seriously, what can I do with this? Nothin’!”

“Sounds like a challenge to me,” Stan said. Fiddleford crossed his arms, pouting fiercely. “Don’t act like that, Sticks.”

“Don’t call me Sticks.”

“No dice, pipsqueak. I already got used to calling you that.”

“But that’s-” Fiddleford started. Angie cleared her throat. All heads turned in her direction. “Yes, Angie?”

“Now that Stanford ‘n Lute ‘re back, we can have some lunch. Lute, care to put away what you purchased? Stan ‘n I will handle feedin’ the boys.”

“You got it,” Lute said with a salute. He put the toy tools back in the plastic bag and picked it up. As he strolled away, whistling, Fiddleford began to get to his feet, only to feel himself being lifted in the air. Fiddleford let out a squeak of protest.

“I’m too hungry to wait for you to crawl to the kitchen,” Stan said. He was the one who had picked up Fiddleford, and slightly adjusted his hold, so that Fiddleford was partially sitting on Stan’s arm. Fiddleford looked down at the ground, which was much further away from him than he wanted. He quickly grabbed fistfuls of Stan’s shirt to steady himself. When he and Stan arrived at the kitchen, Ford was already sitting at the table, devouring a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A similar but smaller sandwich rested on the tray of the high-chair by the table.

“No,” Fiddleford whined as Stan headed for the high-chair. He tightened his grip on Stan’s shirt, but Stan easily pulled him off and placed him into the high-chair. Fiddleford pouted at him. Stan frowned thoughtfully. “…What?”

“Something’s missing,” Stan said. His expression brightened. “Oh!” Stan stepped away. Fiddleford sighed and picked up his sandwich. Before he could take a bite, Stan returned, holding a bib. “Gotta keep your clothes clean.”

“What? No! I’m not wearing that!” Fiddleford protested. Stan ignored him. He began to fasten the bib around Fiddleford’s neck. Panicking, Fiddleford threw his sandwich at him. The sandwich hit Stan’s face soundly, smearing peanut butter and jelly on his nose and chin before falling to the ground with a muffled slap. Both Stan and Fiddleford froze.

“What-” Angie started, turning away from the counter. Her eyes widened. “Fidds!”

“He was trying to put a bib on me!” Fiddleford whined. Angie propped her hand on her hip. Fiddleford recognized the gesture. It was the same one their ma made when she was frustrated. “I refuse to be treated like a child.”

“I’m not angry, don’t worry,” Stan said, finally unfreezing. He wiped the smears of food off his face with his sleeve. Angie sighed.

“I ain’t makin’ another sandwich. Stan, you aggravated him. You can make him his lunch.”

“What? But-”

“No buts,” Angie said firmly. “You were tryin’ to get his goat, to see what he would tolerate. Don’t act like ya weren’t.”

“That’s not the whole reason,” Stan mumbled. Angie raised an eyebrow. “I thought it’d be cute.” Ford, finished with his sandwich and now eating carrot sticks, sniggered.

“Whatever.” Angie crossed her arms. “Make him somethin’ easy to eat and not too tough on his tummy. I’m goin’ to…I don’t know. Just stare at the wall fer a bit.” She stomped out of the room, muttering.

“Is Angie all right?” Fiddleford asked quietly. Stan picked the sandwich off the floor and tossed it in the trash.

“She’s a bit overworked, I think,” Ford replied. Stan, already looking at the contents of the fridge, nodded.

“Lute and I are doing most of the kid stuff, but she’s doing all the science and still has to make dinner.”

“Not to mention, you’ve requested her help with some childcare situations,” Ford added. Stan removed a container of applesauce from the fridge, brought it over to the counter, and took a bowl out of the cupboard.

“Yeah. Like the last time we needed her to step in.” Stan looked over at Ford. “Or did you forget that you were the reason we needed backup?” Ford turned red.

“What happened?” Fiddleford asked. Ford flushed more.

“He got stuck,” Stan grunted. Ford poked at the carrot sticks still on his plate. “I took him out back to let him run off some energy. Turned my back on him for two seconds and then he was up a tree. And too scared to come down on his own. Lute was at the grocery store with you, Sticks, and I can’t climb worth a damn. So I had to grab Angie. She shimmied up the tree and brought him down right away, but she was pissed.”

“I can imagine,” Fiddleford mumbled. Stan placed a small bowl of applesauce on the high-chair tray. “…That’s it?”

“Yep.” Stan put a small, plastic spoon in the bowl. “Enjoy.” Fiddleford scowled, but ate the applesauce nonetheless. Some time passed in silence, as Ford and Fiddleford ate and Stan washed dishes. Finally, Ford hopped off his chair.

“I’m going to go find Angie,” Ford announced. “She might need some assistance in the lab.”

“If she says no, come back,” Stan instructed. “We’ll need to revamp our plans for tomorrow, now that Sticks isn’t a baby.” Ford nodded and rushed away.

“What were the original plans fer tomorrow?” Fiddleford asked, struggling to spoon up the last of his applesauce. Giving up, he scooped the applesauce up with his fingers and sucked on his hand.

“There’s this baby club in the park. Lute liked taking you there. I’d come and watch Ford scamper around the playground.” Finished sucking the applesauce off his hand, Fiddleford pulled his fingers from his mouth. “Hmm. I think Lute wanted to take you to the library later today, actually. That’s probably cancelled.”

“I’d think so.” Fiddleford yawned. “I’m not going to attend any baby activities.” Fiddleford rubbed his eyes. Stan looked over at him. A small smile quirked the corner of his mouth.

“Tired?”

“Yes. But I don’t know why.”

“You’re a toddler. You probably need a nap,” Stan pointed out. Fiddleford’s protest was cut off by another yawn. “Yep. It’s naptime. C’mere, Sticks.”

“Don’t call me that,” Fiddleford mumbled. Stan removed him from the high-chair. Fiddleford rested his head on Stan’s chest. Stan’s T-shirt was soft, warm, and smelled clean.

Angie and Lute must have made him wash his clothes. Fiddleford’s eyes drooped. Stan ruffled his hair. Fiddleford’s eyes closed.

#this was fun to write. it's been a hot minute since I wrote de-aging stuff lmao #that's my all-time fave trope for those who don't know btw #love that trope. so much fun to play around with.#Deaged Ford AU #Fiddleford McGucket #Stanley Pines #Angie McGucket #Stanford Pines #Lute McGucket #my writing #ficlet #speecher speaks

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scarlettswxtch · 6 years ago

Text

HEARTBREAK HOTEL

Pairing: Bucky x Reader / Steve x Reader

Description: Set in post-civil-war. The Avengers have been back together for a while now, you return to the compound after Tony asks for your help on a mission. After months of being MIA, you haven’t seen your team in a while and two certain super soldiers are who you’re dreading to see most.

Prompt: “After everything I’ve done for you!” / “That I didn’t ask for!”

Word count: 4,979 (omg)

Warning: ANGST ANGST ANGST™️, all my fics are intended for 18+ readers

A/N: Firstly, Whew! This was the first ever angsty fic AND I've ever written and damn if I didn’t cry a bit. I kinda like how it went so...I may make this a mini-series? Let me know what you guys think and I’ll get to it. Secondly, I such at summaries so I’m v sorry lol.

This is for @moonbeambucky’s 5k writing challenge!! The prompt is above :) again, congrats on your milestone Tara, darling ❤️ and thank you for letting me participate, it was super fun to explore the angsty side of fanfiction with that lil prompt :))) I know it’s from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend which is a comedy show but, I felt like writing something a little dark and sad hehe, hope you don’t mind + i hope you enjoy it ✨

Also a side note - I got my info about Aleksander Lukin from here if anyone’s wondering.

˜”*°•.˜”*°• Listen for the full experience •°*”˜.•°*”˜

Song(s): Rebekah - Jack Vallier for Bucky x Reader / Girlfriends - The Academic for Steve x Reader

Softly splashing water droplets hit the car windows as you were driven onwards. The skies are overhung with a blanket of grey, so much so that you can barely tell the difference between the sky and clouds. Despite car rides feeling tedious, the rain is commonly calming - you watch raindrops race down to the windows. The occasional wave of a puddle can be exciting, but right now you’d rather be outside in those puddles than stuck in this car.

It was almost midnight, Tony had called you 5 hours ago, pleading. His voice unusually tired - worn, even. As if he’d been yelling for hours. The team needed your help for a mission and you went despite the circumstances - greater good and everything. Your eyes closed over.

“Honey, come on...it’s - we can’t do this without you” Tony was using his soft voice. Tony never used his soft voice unless it was serious. You heard the helpless plea behind his voice and you faltered.

“Is he there?”

“Who?”

“You know who Tony” you clipped, impatient. You knew he would be, but you needed to hear it. This was pathetic and your heart sped.

“He is...but we can arrange-“

You cut him off. “No. Send a car for me, I’ll be there.” And with that, you cut the line off.

The car came to a sudden stop and your eyes fluttered open. “Is here ok, Miss?” The driver asked.

“Here’s fine, thank you” normally, you’d accompany your gratitude with a smile. But, not tonight.

It was still raining as you stepped out of the car. You didn’t want to move, despite the feeling the rain soak your hair, clothes, shoes. The sunset was long gone, leaving only a starless sky. Puffs of grey cloud had swooped into the air like an armed patrol and had surrounded the moon from all sides. There was nothing more that it could do but sit and wait for itself to be completely engulfed by its attackers, you couldn’t help but relate to that. The compound loomed before you and you wondered what level of hell you were in.

“Kid! What the hell? Are you trying to get sick?”

Tony appeared in front of you, snapping you out of whatever daydream you were in. His arms encircled you and you found the strength to hug him back.

“Cmon, let's get inside before we both freeze,” he says, all gentle as he guides you to the hall. He has both his hands on your shoulder, watching you with carefully. His face flickered with something joyless. “Teams missed you, honey.”

A soft, pained smile took over your features and you squeezed Tony’s hand despite yourself “I’ve missed them too,”

That unspoken question lingered in the air ‘Why won’t you come back?’ ‘What can I do to make it better?’. You hadn’t seen most of them in months, except Natasha and Wanda. They were your girls. They weren’t simply good friends, they have become part of your soul. When life became a storm they were the boat that kept the briny water from entering your lungs. They were love when you needed it and you thanked them with all that you were. Yet the storm wasn’t over; the winds raged, seeking to crush what was left of you.

You cleared your throat. “Let’s not keep them waiting then,” you said, uncharacteristically cheery. Tony saw through it but he said nothing.

You began walking, eyes flickering from wall to wall. This compound that was once your home felt like nothing but a stranger to you. You felt tears prick at your eyes and you blamed them on the vases of blossoms which gave off a cloying scent that made your eyes itch. Denial is a great thing.

“Ladies first,” Tony said as the elevator doors opened. You stepped inside despite your body screaming for you to flee. Tony grabbed your hand, you hadn’t realised you were trembling so much. You looked at him in silent gratitude as he drew small circles against your wrist, calming you as each second passed. The tough girl act never did convince him.

It was shortly after the battle between Cap and Tony. You were certain Stark would never forgive you for siding with Steve. Yet, you were surprised to find out how he’s done everything he could to keep you off the files, keep you off Ross’ radar. Nobody would ever know you were part of the whole thing. For all they knew, you had been helping Pepper with overseas business in Australia, oblivious to the circumstances back home.

Your heart swelled when you found out. Tony was like a father to you, always had been. That’s why it broke your heart to fight against him. He knew it was for love, so he forgave you for your blatant naivety. His little girl, “Always so easily fooled,” He had told you as you stood at his doorstep, eyes brimming with tears as you told him everything, told him how he was insufferably right from the beginning.

“You want me to kick his ass?”

You shook your head, “I just wanna come home”

He took you in as if you’d never left.

The elevator doors opened and you stepped into the conference room, eyes downcast - too afraid to see your friends. You could feel every pair of eyes watching you, glued to you. Your eyes shot up and your gaze instantly connected with the man sitting at the head of the table, all beautiful and strong like he’d always been. His eyes were the ocean, so full of life yet so uncertain. You remembered how his blue-green hue carried his emotional currents, before you could breathe you would always drown. Except this time they were blank, the warmth they once radiated replaced with betrayal and hurt - your heart clenched. Oh, Stevie. God, you wondered if he’d ever forgive you for disappearing like that.

You wanted nothing more than to run to him, have him scream bloody murder at you as you wrap your arms around him - pouring out those words that perpetually lingered in your mind, forever unsaid: “It's been forever and many days since we last spoke; I'm sorry. In this time we have become new people, yet at our core we are truly the same. In all honesty, I need the asylum version of friendship more than I need air, water or food. I need to be sheltered and nurtured until my shattered soul has repaired enough to function and give love into the world. I love you either way, yet I am asking with my heart in your hands, if you will be the harbour in this storm that has come to my shores.”

He looked away from you, jaw clenched. The room was unbearably quiet and you dared not look towards the icy blue gaze which pinned you down, his features working with a dilemma of his own.

You realised the room only had half the team. Nat, Wanda, Sam and Clint were missing. That left the room with Steve, Tony, Vision...and Bucky. Tony must’ve sensed your confusion because he filled you in seconds later, “We sent a team out to check a HYDRA base in Rio. They’ll be back tomorrow morning”. Great. Just your luck. You had hoped at least Sam would be around. Sam was the perfect friend and he would at least be able to distract you.

You nodded and took your usual seat near Steve. You could see him tense, clearly uncertain about your proximity.

“It’s nice to have you back,” says Vision from across the table and you smile at him warmly in thanks. Bucky was beside him and you could feel his gaze on you- you could feel it from the moment you stepped in the room and how it hasn’t left you since. You didn’t look at him. Fucking hell, the room couldn’t feel tenser if it tried.

Tony clapped loudly to get everyone’s attention “Alright kids, here’s the deal”, he begins, a small remote in his hand as the projector flicks to an image of a man in his middle 40s. You hear an intake of breath from Steve and Bucky’s metal arm shift in what you could only guess was surprise and discomfort. “Cap and Tinman should be pretty familiar with this guy,” Tony says. You studied the screen - he was attractive for his age, to say the least. Salt and pepper hair, dark blue eyes and olive skin now slightly wrinkled with old age.

“Aleksander Lukin, owner of Kronas Corporation, born in the Soviet village of Kronas some time in the 1930’s” Tony continues and you frown.

“1930s?” You asked, “Wouldn’t that make him-“

“89? Yeah, it would. We can only guess his slow ageing is a product of HYDRA’s serum experimentation. Lukin's village was used by the Red Skull as a base of operations during the Second World War. Soviet troops attempted to retake the town, Rodgers assisted them but Lukin's mother was killed in the course of battle.”

Tony flicks to the next image “Vasily Karpov, took Lukin under his wing. We sent Romanoff out to Russia to investigate further after Karpov was killed. Turns out Lukin was left in custody of a large cache of special projects developed over the decades, including the Winter Soldier.” You saw Bucky clench his jaw from the side of your eye. Your instincts wanted nothing more than to reach over and comfort him, but you remained still.

“He sold some of these devices to the highest bidders to raise funds. Some of those weapons went to A.I.M, which was taken town 3 years ago, courtesy of yours truly. Lukin has been under the radar until a few days ago when we got some intel that he’d got his hands on the reality-altering cosmic cube.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y take the wheel,” Tony said, and the projection of the cube appeared. It was small and somehow looked like it was made of glass and marble.

F.R.I.D.A.Y’s voice took over the room. “The Cosmic Cube is thought to originate from space. It seems that it is a living being in embryonic form. It contains its own consciousness, seemingly patterning after the consciousness of an unknown being.“

“Thank you darling” Tony tells F.R.I.D.A.Y as he points at the projection “That’s what we’re looking for”

“The entire time we knew the Red Skull all he wanted with that cube was to rule the world. Wouldn’t put it past Lukin to want the same” You heard Steve say - he was using his serious ‘Captain America’ voice “It is absolutely imperative we get it off him” he finishes and your eyes lift to Tony.

“What’s the plan?”

“You are,” He said and you lifted a brow. “Luckily for us, Lukin has a soft spot for gorgeous women. It’s absolutely essential you distract him by whatever means necessary,”

You pursed your lips “Why didn’t you get Natasha to do this?”

“Natasha’s high profile, ever since the whole Accords thing, everyone knows her face.”

You nodded and Tony continued. “This is a highly sensitive undercover mission. We got some information a few days ago about a gala being held in honour of Lukin, to celebrate the firms ‘biggest milestone yet’. We can only guess they mean the Cube.”

Tony turns, flickering the screen once more as an aerial view of an incredible large castle comes into frame “Gala’s being held at one of Lukin’s residences. I had F.R.I.D.A.Y do a scan of the building and turns out there’s an underground facility. Heavily guarded, heavily supervised.”

Tony throws Lukin’s mission file at you “Learn that like your life depends on it. We can’t have any slip ups” you nodded, slightly offended. You were one of the best master spies in the game. You and Nat were absolutely unstoppable together. There was nothing you weren’t good at; martial arts, acrobatics, expert marksman, hacker, interrogator, pilot - were all in your resume. Nick Fury wouldn’t just hire an idiot.

“I assume this isn’t a one-woman mission?”

“No. We wouldn’t just send you there alone,” Steve said.

Tony’s lips pursed “Tinman and Steve will accompany you to the gala” Fuck, you cursed inwardly. Nothing could be worse than that information. “Nat and I will be on coms back at the Quinjet in case you need backup.”

Tony waved his band at you and Bucky “I know things haven’t been peachy between the two of you but it’s important you don’t let emotions get mixed up in this. So, sort it out soon so you don’t fuck up the mission.” You bit the inside of your cheek in anxiety, feeling Bucky’s eyes on you as you stared into the distance, sparing neither of them a glance. Steve twitched in his chair, and you wish he’d reach out and touch you - ease your distress and tell you everything would be ok because he’d be right here. Like he used to. But he remained still, not like you deserved it anyway. You knew this moment was coming but, you had hoped with every ounce of your being that it wouldn’t. Fun fact, kids: deflecting does nothing but postpone the inevitable.

“Alright. Class dismissed” Tony said and with that, you grabbed your file, shot up from the chair and left the conference room faster than lightning.

This is how it goes: everyone’s got a bone to pick. You had one to pick with yourself when you decided to fall for James Barnes. Falling was definitely the easy part. Yes, it was like bliss - sometimes, you wanted to reach up and grab onto something to stop yourself from plummeting but, you grasped thinning oxygen instead. Now you’re left here, half dead. When it is your love that kills you, no destruction is more laughably ironic than that of the self.

You remember the moment he broke you - your skin lit with righteous fury and you wondered if this was your punishment for loving someone more broken than you were. You remember how you used to lie beneath him in bed, or how he’d simply look at you from across the room - those icy blue eyes full of tenderness yet so void. You knew he’d break you, yet you loved him anyway. Your mother always told you how you could never love someone unless you love yourself first. Total bullshit. You’ve never loved yourself, not really - but him? Jesus, you loved him so much you forgot what hating yourself felt like.

It was almost 2am now as you stood outside the compound’s balcony. The rain had stopped and left wet puddles along the glass floor - you were barefoot and a cigarette was lit between your lips. You tilt your head, gazing upward, eyes more open than they can be in the fullness of day, not looking at one star, yet somehow seeing them all at once.

“Doll?” You hear from behind you. You didn’t jump at the intrusion in your quietness because it was expected. You said nothing, your back was turned to him and you continued to stare into the abyss of the dark landscape beyond the compound. The sound of his boots was accompanied by tiny splashes of rain puddles as he made his way towards you.

“Look at me,” he said - Bucky’s voice was rough yet velvety at the same time - you wondered how someone could sound like they could kill you and offer your body the most gentle touch at the same time. Your head involuntarily moved, your eyes meeting his after many months and you blinked. Even in the darkness, his eyes were seriously blue. Almost sickeningly blue - full-on Prince Charming, field of cornflower, perfect, cloudless sky blue. Someone should name a crayon after the guy.

You blew smoke out of your lips, lifting a brow in question mostly because you had no words to say.

There was a half-empty ache in your soul as Bucky watched you, his mouth dry as he watched you move. He wondered what it would be like to kiss you again, your blossom-soft lips sweet on his, always glistening with madness and love-sick desire. The memory was almost enough to make him smile. He knew you only smoked when you were anxious, stressed, unsure of what to do with yourself. He’d always find you right here, looking at nothing as you contemplated everything. He missed that, just finding you in places even when he wasn’t looking. Bucky reaches over and tenderly plucks the cigarette from between your lips, crushing it with his foot. You looked at him with cheeks stained with tears you didn’t even realise were there. His heart breaks a little and he can’t help but think he’s too late and you’ve lost your way and all that remains is you and him and this hopeless tragedy all lovers leave behind.

“Sweetheart I...” he began, his hand reaching for your face as if touching you could wipe away all the pain and make it all okay again. It probably could, your mind said and you hated yourself for that.

You flinched away from him as if he were hot scorching fire and he dropped his hand “No Bucky. Don’t fucking touch me,” you spat. You were angry. Angry because being angry was better than tears, grief or guilt. You gripped the balcony railing tightly with one hand despite the fact that your palm was sore and burned. Your nails dug deep into your other hand, almost enough to draw blood. A tear rolled onto your cheek, but you didn't care; you had to stay focused. “I don’t think we have anything to say to each other”

“Really? Cause the way you’re acting right now tells me somethin’ else doll,” he stepped closer to you “We need to talk it out.”

“The way I’m acting?” You scoffed “What exactly were you expecting? Did you want me to throw myself in your arms, kiss like you never did a thing?” you closed the space between you and looked at him like he was venom “I don’t know about you baby,” the last word came out like poison and Bucky’s jaw clenched “but I don’t think I can ever do that again”

No, you certainly couldn’t. You convinced yourself you couldn’t -, especially after everything.

It hit your hard when he did it. His words like nails and hammers breaking your heart apart. You had been on the run with him, Sam and Steve for months. The first day didn't even feel real. A nightmare come true, maybe. You found yourself waiting to wake up. But that never happened. You cried and cried to Sam, told him you needed to go home and he helped you readily. Your Sammy, he was always so sweet, a big joker who did everything for you without question. He got you to the airport, saying nothing to Steve and Bucky. He protested at first, uncomfortable with the idea but you knew Steve would try to convince you to stay, make things work. He’d probably be able to - you always did have a soft spot for those baby blues.

When you arrived at Tony’s doorstep, he was there for you but you never felt so alone. Completely, utterly alone, without him to comfort you. A million questions rushed to your head: “Who will wipe away my tears now? Who will hold my hand? Who will surprise me with hugs from behind? Who will tell me they love me and call me beautiful?” Not him. Not anyone anymore. You now lacked that someone who had been with me for over a year. That same someone who promised you a forever only to leave when things became too hard. And now he’s gone. Gone like the ink leaving pen. Soon enough he’ll forget about you.

You wanted to call him, ask him: “Did you cry at all? Did it hurt you at all... when you said you weren't happy anymore? When you said you didn't love me anymore? You let me buy you food. You let me drive you home. You let me love you that night. The night before it all. You kissed me that night. You told me you loved me that night. Did you lie? Or were your feelings able to fade so quickly? You're a coward. A coward that I should hate. I should hate you. I should be angry with you, but I can't. I'm worried for you... I wish the best for you. I just want you to have happiness again, even if that means I have to sacrifice my own. I would have done anything for you, you know? I loved you. I wanted to be the very best for you. I was the very best for you, but my best wasn't ever enough to satisfy you was it? Maybe that's what hurts the most.”

You clenched your jaw, your nails digging deeper into your palm as if to focus the pain elsewhere “Some days I can’t stop thinking about you, other days I wonder why I’m wasting my time”

Bucky sighed, his hands running over his face in exasperation “I didn’t ask you to throw yourself in like that. I didn’t want any of it. I didn’t fucking ask you for any of it”

You shook your head in utter disbelief and wondered if he was truly this oblivious “You don’t ask for love Bucky! What the fuck is wrong with you? It doesn’t work like that, it’s give and take with no questions asked. Even a bloody wall would know that”

“I wasn’t built like that and you know it”

You scoff, “you had a life before you became who you are now, surely you remember how it feels like to love and be loved”

His eyes darken “Sorry to disappoint you, sugar, but loves pretty alien to me. I never asked for any of yours”

Your eyes and tone turn bitter and sad: “I gave you all and you gave me shit!” He shrugged as if that meant nothing to him and your eyes sprouted tears which fled unchecked “After everything I’ve done for you!”

“That I didn’t ask for!” he shouts, wanting nothing more than to flee from this conversation. Ironic, since he started it.

Your voice was quiet next, controlled even - almost threatening “You’re a fucking idiot. You never could stand being blamed for something you’ve done wrong, could you?”

“I didn’t do shit.” He growled, “I told you the deal and you stayed with me anyway, your pain is your fucking problem,”

That was the breaking point of your patience. At that moment, you were blinded by a five-course serving of rage that tasted bitter, yet surprisingly satisfying. You reached out and punched him in the face. Your voice rose above the sacred silence as you spluttered words your own mind didn’t register. You went to attack him again but he held you down, pinning your arms behind your back, your face now dangerously close to his. When he looked down at you there was no trace of emotion, not in his eyes or in marks on his reddening face. His eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold, hard. In that moment you knew he was already far away. Once more you were the enemy. These swings from most loved to most hated would be the end of you. His temper had no greyscale, only the polar extremes existed. You drew in a deep breath, the burning hard stare would last only as long as it took him to think of the most brutally cutting thing he could tear you down with.

His face brightened, just a tone lighter than your own crimson. “I didn’t ask for any of it” he spat. “I told you to stay, didn’t I? Do you not remember me asking you not to get involved?” his hands tightened over your wrists, hurting now but you didn’t show. You wanted him to hurt you, maybe it’d make you hate him better. “But no, you had to fucking follow me to Bucharest. Do you have any idea how exhausting it was to be with someone so fucking needy? No wonder I left you” ah, there it was. So much damage was done when Bucky argued. Every mean thing he'd thought but knew better than to say came flooding out. When he saw hurt in his opponent's eyes he never backed off, only dug deeper, like a hunter at the first sign of blood. Even if it was you.

“This right here, all these emotions? I can’t deal with you, I didn’t want any of this shit. You knew it was too much for me,” your eyes shifted to the side and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As you blinked, they dripped from your eyelids and slid down your cheeks. You bit your lip tightly in attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from your mouth and his heart sank. His eyes turned apologetic and his mouth began to form words you cut off as you ripped yourself from his grasp.

Your lower lip quivered and words slowly made their way out of your mouth. “You know what’s funny? I can’t even hate you right now. Not even a little bit and that fucking enrages me.” Your veins were full of ice-water now, yet they boiled fervently. You dashed inside, too quick for him to grab you - promising yourself to kill that part of you where he once belonged.

He knew he should’ve gone after you, say sorry and how he meant none of it. A part of you hoped he would. Instead, Bucky stood there silent and unmoving for what seemed like hours and finally, he understood why you liked looking into the darkness so much.

You stepped into the shower, toes flinching as they touched the chilled marble floor. Your mind was in shreds; you’d never get those words out of your mind.

Do you have any idea how exhausting it was to be with someone so fucking needy?

You turned the dial, new and metallic, releasing thousands of lukewarm drops, darkening your hair and trickling down your back. Your eyes fell closed over and over, each time showing you the words like photographs:

I can’t deal with you

I didn’t want any of this

Were you needy? Had you been too much? Sudden insecurity took over your body, reaching into to the depths of your mind to uncover every instance you showed him love and twisting it into something bad. He had asked you not to come, he had asked you to not get involved, stay behind and be with Pepper. He did. You should’ve listened. Maybe things would be better now if you had, maybe you’d still be together. But no, how could you have? You were a fool who loved him too much to let him do anything alone. You closed your eyes as if it hurt to look at things.

“Darlin?” you hear from the door, your eyes shooting open. It was Steve. You must’ve been quiet too long because he knocked again “Cmon I know you’re in there”

You took a deep breath, calming your nerves “Go away Steve, please” your throat felt tight and you surprised yourself with the calm, controlled coolness of your voice.

“I’m not leaving until you open up” You sighed in resignation, turning off the water and stepping out of the shower. You wrapped a white towel around your form, not caring about that puddles of water your hair was leaving behind.

You swung the door open and Steve stood before you - all righteous and handsome like he’d always been. God, you missed his face; you missed him, every atom of you missed him. "Are you okay?" he asks the question smoothly, the baritone of his voice reverberating through your bones. The low rumble of his voice is comforting despite everything.

“I’m fine”

“You don’t look fine,” he said, eyes roaming over your mascara stained face.

“Then stop looking”

“Cmon darlin’ he didn’t mean any of that. He loves you, I know it - everyone knows it”

You shook your head, scoffing “You can’t actually believe that? Did you hear what he said to me? Did he tell you?”

Steve looked at you apologetically “I heard”. Your lip began to quiver uncontrollably and Steve pulled you close, gently rubbing your arm. Despite the heaviness in your stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of your body pressed against his. You sink into the warmth of his chest, appreciative of the simple gesture. His touch made the room warmer somehow, your future within its walls seems a little less bleak.

“I’m sorry I left you,” you say, so quietly it was barely above a whisper. Steve pulled you closer, kissing the top of your forehead in what you assumed was forgiveness. “He doesn’t love me,” you said unconsciously, distractedly.

“Cmon sweetheart-“ he began but your head shook against his chest in defiance and he stopped speaking.

“I don’t think he knows how to love anything, Stevie,” you say and Steve’s jaw clenches. He pulls you closer and you wish you could melt into him. “Will you stay with me, please?” you ask and look up at him with eyes pleading; round with unspilled tears. I’m that moment he could’ve sworn there was nothing more lovely in the galaxy - angels would be fools not to damn themselves for you.

“Sure darlin’, anything,” he said without thinking and you slither your arms across his waist, pressing a small kiss on his chest.

“I really missed you, Stevie”

“Me too, doll” he replies, barely above a whisper.

You spent the rest of the night in Steve’s arms, warm and sweet and in this moment you felt like everything would be okay.

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azure-oceans · 6 years ago

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have another little snippet of new and improved chapter 3 while i start work on it back up again!

"And just what in the HELL do you two think you're doing?!"

He and Leo blanched at the loud interruption, their fight ending just as soon and as abruptly as it had started.

Mikey turned in surprise, eyes darting up to meet Raph's. His big brother had his arms crossed; a sleepy, irritated scowl on his face. Not good.

Leo, who had been just as distracted by Raph's appearance, ended up getting hit square in the face and tumbling backwards. Mikey knew they were in trouble, but he couldn't help the proud little smirk that that outcome gave him.

"Well?" Raph urged. That smirk was gone, now.

"Don't ask me!" he cried, jumping up from his position on the floor. "Ask Leo! HE'S the one who started it! He threw bread at me!"

"Bread?" the snapper repeated, almost disbelieving.

"BREAD!"

"Hey!" Leo butted in, throwing daggers at Mikey from the power of his glare alone. "First of all, Michael doesn't know how to take a joke!"

Leo stood a bit straighter, picking up his sword that had clattered to the ground with Mikey's kusari-fundo. "And second of all: I was just offering my lil' baby brother a morning snack and some early surprise training! Nothing wrong with being prepared, in my book!"

Raph looked between the two of them, his mouth agape. It was clear that they had been what had woken him up in the first place. The poor guy looked to be running on fumes with how long it took him to process the situation.

"Okay," he said after a while. "Okay, okay, okay."

He pointed at Mikey. "Don't hit people."

Mikey frowned. "Does Leo count as people?"

"Unfortunately."

"I am standing. Right here."

He pointed at Leo. "Ey. No wasting bread. Are we all clear?"

Mikey glowered at his older brother. Leo did much the same.

"I said: Are we clear?"

"Yes, Raph," they relented; neither of them being above shooting the other a stink eye.

A stink eye that Raph didn't appear to notice. "Good. Besides, it is WAY too early for this noise. Honestly, Leo."

Leo scoffed, cocking his head to the side like he was about to make some sort of snappy remark. Raph shook his head before that could happen and gestured to his sword.

"We do not need our weapons out, people. Go put those things away right now. That means you, too, Mike."

That was impossible to argue with. It wasn't like they were gonna be needing them in the kitchen, anyway, so Mikey simply nodded along with what Raph was saying and did as he was told. Leo took longer to comply, but purposefully dragged his ōdachi along the ground as he trailed behind back to their rooms.

Raph was waiting for them when they turned back around, looking like the spitting image of Splinter when one of them (usually Donnie) hides the TV remote and he was expecting them to fess up to it. Spoiler alert: Donnie pretty much never does, and someone winds up unfairly grounded.

"Are you happy, now, oh infallible leader?" Leo quipped with a lazy quirk of his brow.

"No," Raph shot right back, "because you two still haven't apologized to each other."

"What?!" Mikey wailed. "B-But that is SO not fair, Raph! I told you, LEO's the one who-"

"Doesn't matter, and I don't care," the eldest scolded. "Remember: we're a team, guys. And teammates always look out for one another and- uh-"

Raph paused in his inspirational speech for a moment. Mikey figured he thought he was slick when he briefly glanced down at his palm before continuing,

"-and work past their differences so they can learn to appreciate one another and build a stronger-" another pause, "-bond."

Not even a second or two after Raph finished, a slow clap sounded throughout the room.

"Wow," Leo smiled. "Wowie, wow wow wow- that sure was something, Raph! Really does bring a tear to your eye, huh, Mikey?"

Mikey couldn't really find much humor in this situation considering the current circumstances. "Sure does, Leon. It sure does."

"How long were you saving that one for, big guy? Y'know, I'm surprised the ink didn't rub off by now-"

"Alright!" Raph barked, patience having worn thin. "I'm hearing sarcasm, but I'm not hearing apologies!"

"Y'know," Mikey piped up, knowing well that talking back wouldn't help his case much, "forcing us to apologize to each other doesn't actually do any of what you just got done saying, Raph. Just sayin'."

"Facts," Leo affirmed.

"If anything, it just kinda makes later revenge pretty much inevitable, and then we're gonna be having this convo all over again, so.."

"Facts!" His brother reached out for a fist bump. Despite still being very much so pissed off, he returned it if only to just further make a point.

"Yeah!" Raph rushed to say. "Well! Y-You still should- I-It ain't right to just-"

"Just admit it, Raph!" Leo groaned. "Mikey's right, for once! I learned my lesson, I shouldn't have thrown bread at him, and whatever else you want me to say for this to be over. Are we cool, now?"

"No! No, we are NOT 'cool', because just like Mike said: as soon as I forget this all was even an issue, you two are gonna go back to-" Raph stopped himself mid-sentence, visibly deflating as he seemed to finally realize that they were going in circles.

"Fine. Y'know what? I'm not dealin' with this. Just- be nice to each other, guys, c'mon."

"No promises," they said together, shooting the other a dirty look all the while. With that, the wrath of their ever-present den mother seemed to have passed.

"I guess that's the most I can hope for with you two," Raph sighed.

#rottmnt #fanfiction #my fanfiction #school sucks #turtles don't #so have some turtles in these trying times!

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years ago

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13x02 watching notes

i'm on a train. choo choo.

expectations: helpfully wrote them out last time for the season as a whole which this ep is introducing all the plot stuff for since last episode advanced the plot a single day of angst, but this episode especially has a few SUPER low bars to pass. Last time out BL failed spectacularly to not kill Eileen. now we have "don't assault mary, over-sexualise the day old guy, or flub introing the new characters, or reintroducing the returning ones"

our train was like 10 minutes late out the station because there was no driver. is this a metaphor.

i also had to eat krispy kreme doughnuts before I could dig into the episode.

oh jeeze Drexel survived season 12... no one really has a fanclub for the random minions, probably because around Simmons we realised there was no point getting attached. and he was in some of the worst scenes of last season just because of the context. which is a shame. also he's a lucifer fan and that's not really a worthwhile position. anyway hope springs eternal that colonel sanders is such a charismatic character he makes the demon scenes worth watching... and Drexel gets to be interesting. And stop saying lines like 'make hell great again' which is so not a good thing to put in his mouth - at least the other demons who were going around saying it it was the white demon who said it and got the stink eye from the other demon.

One of the other demons says "can you even hear yourself" but idk if BL would crit their own writing unlike competent writers whose first port of call is stressing that they are bad writers and mock their corny dialogue

this also raises the semi perpetual question since season 11 that if Crowley's throne room is here why would any of the pretenders to the throne even want it. they seriously need to justify it. We know devil's gates are a pain and not usually open so smuggling minions out to work topside is an issue but there are other workarounds than establishing a campy hell set that's not even in hell, then getting confused about if it's hell or not, and never really explaining why Lucifer would stick around in it except for the fact Crowley is really good at setting up a system and it would be a shame not to use the pre-established set up.

but eh

I really sincerely hope Asmodeus is just here because Crowley's ex-minions are here and will relocate post-haste to his plantation.

He hung up his coat. Drexel survived though. I guess being a named character has its perks. the sun shone in my eyes the entire time so i was quite amused when the train turned a bit and i saw demons dropping with burned out eyes, angel-style. like Dagon being super duper powerful, I guess they're giving him extra powers - because this is just a few steps up from how Sam was exploding demons with his head at one point and he got his powers from a YED... though in 5x10 when Lucifer killed all those demons he also didn't burn the eyes out. it's probs a stylistic choice. in character and out.

Nougat!!! he's so cute. he's sleeping at an angle to be behind Sam in the convo. The camera points at Sam from the dash and at Dean from Sam's POV, and Jack is in his background. methinks this is about Sam.

He's trying to make Dean sleep and calling out how he hasn't had any, which is nice because I was worried about that earlier.

Dean is calling Jack "it" which I think was in some people's pre-season fic, or else if it weren't it was in the one i didn't write :P Blatant convo is blatant but does at least have an actual honest to god lead into the next scene via the mom is dead conversation. Again we get the super zoom close up on sam being sad and questioning dean's thoughts. assert yourself, sammy! i believe in u

(totally on your side too Dean but the sun is too bright to examine your micro expressions and the camera isn't favouring you anywho so you're a rewatch flavour today)

Satan wants to trade Mary for Jack. Well if Dean knew he'd sell Jack for a corn chip anyway (is that Crowley's phrase from the original weird dog episode?) so that's just a great big victory. methinks the choice will fall on Sam or fall on Dean after he's had a chance to bond with Jack some more - that's the other side to the tension about Dean liking jack that i was talking about earlier whensomeone asked me why everyone wants dean to adopt jack.

ideally mary saves herself or it never comes to it but for now i'll assume whatever else happens between here and there, some version of this plan will at least be floated, even if it's random circumstances and not lucifer's hand any more or something

makes sense anyway to tie mary back into the main arc in a way like how she mirrored cas the entire time last season - if her fate and jack's are connected even tenuously it gives her a connect back into the main thing

oh good the woman next to me has finished her dangerously over-full cup of Pimms because I was terrified it would be bye bye laptop

nnnoooo as I type she refilled it

the train is swaying back and forth so much

anyway Mary asks Lucifer why he wants to be a parent and he hints several times in a row that he has hidden depths without actually showing any of them. i don't want him to have a redemption anyway and i really super duper don't want him to have one written entirely by BL

Colonel Sanders continues to try and liven up the story while giving us surface level exposition

I'll be honest, 'write that down' is the first good line... must be whichever of BL is quippy currently writing. I think they just introduced a monster taht lucifer is scared of but I couldn't catch what it was and for some reason another demon is listening in so is he getting ideas? I mean why to what end? also what exactly was the thing that was locked up because it sounded like a cut price Leviathan expo dump but obvs not that because a leviathan would eat Lucifer

i mean i don't think we pay enough attention to the fact that dick roman would just gobble lucifer up and end of story. bring back dick.

*Pimms lady sways dangerously close to my laptop*

I think Sam accused Dean of hallucinating "shit" on the road because it's too noisy to hear him say "sheep". I just assume that is what he actually said in the non-censored version

pls drink your Pimms fast enough to end this danger but not so fast you're sloshed and throw it on my laptop before it's all gone

Cashing in on that new Scooby Doo partnership! Some bank like Halifax is currently using Scooby Doo to sell stuff so I see that dog on telly all the time and the fact they exist in the same fictional universe as Sam and Dean is kiiiilling me. I think we have all been assuming Jack takes us to Scooby World so plonking him in front of the telly to watch some is how it all begins. Dean, like every fan fic between 13x01 and now hates Jack unreservedly for having childlike enthusiasm about the telly because Cas used to do that, while (semi)unaware that Jack is mirroring HIMSELF from 12x11 most closely right now. I think that's an interesting parallel I don't know how much work has gone into but pls poke me to write about Jack's 1 day old child-like wonder compared to sweetie pie no memory Dean if no one else has done it because they're essentially the same character from completely different angles, and we're about to hit Jack mirroring Dean excessively.

Me: don't excessively sexualise the kid

BL: "here read a book" *chucks the Bible at him* *he opens it to the Song of Solomon* We're NOT having this chat right now.

I suppose some people just meta-gasmed all over this. I don't know much about the Bible but I do know that's the sexy bit.

the "I can take the couch" conversation probably put the exact same thought process in Jack's head as mine when my very lanky brother looked at the lil brick hard bed set up in the corner of our hotel while we were stranded in Glasgow, and looked at me, princess and the pea-syndrome sufferer, and nobly offered to take a bed that *my* feet stuck 3 inches over.

No.

Thanks but no.

aw man we're only at Carlisle.

It's the promo scene as well, which mostly just drove home how much Jack is mirroring Dean... We've had basically no character interaction in the missing day, although we can assume it's mostly gone like this... Dean annoyed, Sam forgiving Jack for being adorable, and Jack being adorable. He's getting better at sarcasm as well, which can't be making Dean feel any better about him.

And that means that the "Castiel is my father" revelation happened off-screen and we're not being given any room for a reaction about it, which is the most annoying part of this. I knew 13x01 was an anomaly and going into a BL ep so soon after would deprive us of some of the emotional depth, but it's like having a bucket of cold water dumped on us :P

I think Dean's 'sometimes' about family being good is going to be a criminally underrated line and I don't even know if I can bring myself to remember it all the time in discussions about how Dean feels about family going forwards but this is a note that i heard him say it and acknowledged it means he has some issues with blood family ongoing.

Jack being adorably human blah blah, Dean aggravates the issue by being really mean about insisting Lucifer is his father and asking if he reached out to Jack and now Jack's remembering him doing that. Hey leave the kid alone, Dean, his blank slate was slightly messed up by waning to be like Cas which is obviously an excellent exemption to having a blank slate.

Maybe there's a metaphor in him agitating the bad father sitation over here.

I don't know if Jack should have asked for clarification there so let's pretend there was a hesitation and a "Ca -" "*Lucifer.* Your father." exchange. Or something.

And now Nougat is lying about emotional strife, like's been agitated into being a Winchester from his great blank slate

GAH Stop gesturing by the STILL FULL glass of Pimms

they keep topping it up and it's not good for my stress levels

I think I just missed basically everything that happened because all I could see was my own reflection but then they were like *rising tension music* *scuffle* *donatello* so I assume he jumped out on them. Mental note to go back and see who was defensive of Jack and what he did.

*casually mopping up my neighbour's Pimms as it splashes dangerously close to my laptop while listening to Donatello's exposition*

the good thing about BL episodes is that you can often just kinda chill and listen to the exposition if it's just a chunk o dialogue and nothing offensive is going on so we're making progress through the ep

*dean is super bitter about who does and doesn't have a direct line to god for some reason*

Awww Sam says they're brothers and it's a family crest when he is saying Jack should get the tattoo <3

*completely* robbed of Dean's reaction

WHY DID THEY NOT TELL JACK IT WOULD HURT

I went to the loo and came back to them wiping Pimms off their phone

Well Jack just completely put Dean in his place RE: pain, when he told him to man up about it and Jack was like right we accept pain as a sign of maturity... this is absolutely not what Dean meant but it is probably a healthier approach to it minus all the toxic masculinity

can we get to 13x03 and an ep written by Berens soon :P

Jack accidentally absorbs his warding. Oops. I guess that angel warding was a WEE bit OTT I mean I'm no expert but that looks like a total pain to be dealing with all the time for the makeup department :P

Also must have taken friggin ages

I still don't get why Donnatello is here except to use as a chip in their arguments... Ah well. Dean arguing intent doesn't matter freaky powers are freaky powers because he's still pissed about what happened to Cas and can't see the much more basic thing that Jack didn't mean to get Cas killed and OBVIOUSLY didn't intend it if he was waiting for Cas to be there for him when he popped out of the womb. I think for all the random avenues this took in fandom this is probably about as deep as the show will go if this is how BL are spelling it all out for us... And the answer is all there on the page already but we're just using Dean as the alternate side of the argument to show his own character stuff going on where he can't deal with Jack because he's upset about Cas. And he was always more concerned about Cas than the philosophy of whatever else was going on

Train going through the Lake District... I am enchanted. It's a grey day w/ very low clouds and water on the ground and all the trees are autumnal. Sue me, this is more interesting than Donatello being unhelpful. He backed up Sam's argument earlier w/ saying Lucifer felt toxic and Jack is somewhat more like his grandfather, but then once he starts talking he's like hurr blurr as a scientist nature wins and he's a monster and then Sam's like I thought you were on my side dude and then Dean angsts about Cas some more and calls Jack the devil and he decides he better start teleporting now because leave me alone not-dad and get off my case

I hope we see his wings. Dean asks in 13x01 if he had wings and equated it to teleporting and I suppose we don't know how demons do it but the assumption is if he's half-angel adn can teleport then he has wings

Oh no it is KILLING me how Jack's thing is sitting cross legged. PROTECT HIM.

Sam finds him, thankfully, after the Sad Kelly Montage. There's a very Northern man behind me talking loudly on the phone so I'm gonna concentrate SUPER HARD now

The hotel is called the Black Hat which I think is western coding for the bad guy. There was a house in the prairie art on the wall, and the single isolated house is how Jack came into the world... He's dealing with towns now.

Exposition Mooose! Telling us Dean gets some wires crossed about getting angry whe nhe's frustrated and scared like yes good expose dean for us some more... explaining him to jack is like hey so um he's an acquired taste... trying to make this about protecting everyone instead of pointing out the obvious that he blames jack for what happened to cas

Jack is a winchester because he's like maybe i'm not worth it

help

and them Sam brings up w/o knowing it was on jack's mind that kelly thought so but also is a blatant link to how they used dead!mary to guide their lives right up until she came back...

... and then so would Cas and so would I. Sam aligning himself with Jack's parents to show he has emotional guardianship of him right now

has dean gone down to the bar because it's called th eblack spur and obvs not the same one but i'm like 100% sure that's the bar from 10x01 where he was hanging with Crowley and I'm not gonna fact check that. it's "black" again aka more nature stuff, more coded evil stuff I guess? I don't know anything about Westerns I admit

And hey look a blonde bartender is chatting to him - there's a Jack ale sign on one side... and hahahahahaaaa no there's a Kingdom Beer sign behind Dean over his shoulder because the director wants to kill me

So far this is the weirdest BL episode Ive seen in a long time because they're trying so so hard to be all nuanced and deep and to explore character stuff and carry on the mood from the first episode, while being direly under-equipped to handle it, so everyone's just blurting exposition all over the place in a series of awkward exchanges. The overtness of the dialogue is actually helping in a weird way to rush through the tick boxes because Dean just admitted to seeking his neglectful father's approval from a standing start which is a sign of progress for him to just leap right into admitting his issues with John. I don't have a frame of reference for this because tired and white noise and noting we're pulling into Lancaster and it looks like rain now and there's a guy travelling with an enormous silver mirror with an ornate frame as tall as he is on the other platform and more pimms is on the table... but yeah when DID he last talk about John? Is this the increased openness since 12x22 we were hoping for? Is my backpack okay because it's in a luggage rack I can't see and if someone nicks it they're only stealing all my laundry but I like some of those t-shirts so it would be a bummer...

Lol surprise Asmodeus, no wonder she pushed all the father stuff... Was he talking about Lucifer then? It's everyone has father issues season. He's fitting in as another mirror in it all. Like the great big shiny mirror the dude at Lancaster station had. I'd honestly not be surprised if John came back in some way just cuz we had the Mary season where motherhood was a theme, and now we're doing this. I don't think John would come back for good liek Mary but they could scrounge up a more direct way of confronting his memory at least.

This also is so unsubtle bcos Dean had no idea what the bartender looked like so he coulda just tended the bar and chatted to Dean b4 he knew who Asmodues was, and we could have had some cool tension like we all know that Colonel Sanders is the bad guy and Dean's just chatting him up a bit. But then when do we ever get such things in a BL ep?

Sam just goes and spells it out about Jack being molded and the ambiguity of his father figures aka the dual nature battle they think Jack should have, with a deciding vote already thrown in there by Kelly and of course that Jack has free will and choice

So Mary just nearly got assaulted, tho not by Lucifer, which was not exactly a pleasant surprise. >.> idk what that guy's problem was but he seems to be implying women can't fight and something something I didn't catch but clearly he doesn't see a whole bunch of women. This is literally the antithesis of the show's handling of female hunters since the start so I'm going to have to assume that this is an AU thing like, total worst timeline, and everyone's sexist to boot. Not really a fan of doing this at all because why are humans made out to be just as bad as meeting angels and demons in this world - Mary being at risk from ALL of them (where is BOBBY I wanna see wtf was going on between him and AU mary and our mary and our bobby) - and it being disappointing that Mary's at risk BECAUSE she's female and might get assaulted.

Lucifer continues to try and act like a good guy by saving Mary and then of course the Nice Guy twist that always comes - if you won't give me what I want that I'm pretending is mutually beneficial then I will just hurt you.

They're chilling by that church from 8x23 now so I guess Mikey will be along soon.

Preston Station looks like a hellscape as well - it's packed and there's no ticket barriers. I'm so glad we were only passing through

Dean comes in and sits down with Sam with the shadows of the blinds falling over them - prison imagery I missed you! We're trapped in these mindsets...

Sam wants to get them on the same page and Dean is like F U and Sam's like lemme do exposition while you sit with the shadow over your eyes.

I wish there was a shadow falling over my eyes... We've passed back through to hazy sunlight south of Preston.

Sam says people who we love, and who have been in our lives for a long time, in such a way I bet some asshole is excluding Cas from one category bcos Mary doesn't count in the long time category so maybe one is for her and one is for Cas

obviously that's the real donatello because he only cares about breakfast and is an object of ridicule while Asmodeus was presumably the other and actually talking plot.

this is an idiot ball moment tbh because Jack hasn't been in any hotel scenes for a while and somehow we've shuffled through all the characters here and not had any of them with Jack or checking where he is despite him being the most precious cargo, and it was bugging me earlier that dontatello and sam talking meant jack was alone because he wouldn't be w/ dean so where was he but Sam didn't ask? they just chatted? And obvs that was asmodeus but yeah... no one's keeping an eye on him and D. wasn't even supposed to be taking Jack to get breakfast or what? If that wasn't him then what exactly did Sam think Jack was up to?

Also Sam tanking the mytharc Dean tanking the personal arc - he talks to both of them w/o them knowing and guess what each's conversation is

And also Dean came in with food as well like there's major miscommunication going on here if the real donatello was getting breakfst and so was Dean but is that the point or is that just a plothole where this doesn't add up properly if you actually try and map who knew what and - was Dean the one SUPPOSED to be watching Jack? But Sam didn't ask him either.

Anyway here's the demon that Dean's entire fight scene is about straddling to death.

I also loved his march down to the room where he was all in shadows

The last shot of that fight though where Dean's cowering away from the demon on a bed while it advances on him with a knife

like wow that was a good fight scene for the dynamics going on there. Dean as a victim being absolutely dominated by that demon and all the associated knife and weirdass positions imagery. Dean on that table with his legs around the demon is like an entire meta on its own as well

okay it was too bright when I saw the scene where Asmodeus was talking about that whatever it was he let out but I THINK that was the same demon I thought I saw overhearing it and now I am wondering what on earth that was about because Dean just killed him :P

Awww Jack out in nature. I love the flowers and the buzz of insects and life all around him. And Asmodeus is testing him.

Okay it's been like one episode how can he have character inconsistency with himself from earlier in the episode - he now wants to unleash the things he got in trouble for unleashing before? I mean unless he's decided that Lucifer really isn't coming back so might as well just throw a party while there's no adult supervision, and get back to all that chaos and destruction he loves. If he thought there was remotely a chance Lucifer would come back he wouldn't do it, but then is he just doing it now out of spite that Lucifer told him no before, and instead of whatever nonsense he said about family dynamics back then is not really true at all because he wants to rebel now instead.

If Jack unleashes the thing because he was tricked then it will be the biggest Sam and Cas mirror thing ever and will set him up with some angst and guilt for the rest of the season.

One of the downsides of Dean not getting along with him is that Jack doesn't know how much scepticism about God is a healthy amount in this universe. He basically just knows that God is his grandfather and family is usually good. But God is suuuch a bad concept to rally behind here, it's not even like God wouldn't ask him to do it because God never tells anyone what to do about anything (which is like the first thing Dean would have told Jack if he hadn't still been sulking God wouldn't lift a finger to help him over the whole dead Cas issue), God would also just never have any positive reinforcement for anyone or get excited about having a grandson, at least in a way to get actively involved :P

I mean Chuck probs thought that Donatello making his way to Jack was about as useful as he could be and that immediately went sour when no one kept 2 pairs of eyes on each other at all times.

Wyoming has some pretty nasty stuff under it :P

I wonder if Hell maps exactly to earth but just kinda deeper.

Also point to me for rambling about hell gates earlier and then Asmodeus actually listening to my suggestion box for once. Maybe he will be the one character who can actually hear me in this show.

Hey you, you're an asshole

Is Lucifer aware he literally just lead them in a circle because I am so not telling him that, because it's too funny.

I hope Jack didn't inherit his sense of direction but this is Dabb era, as soon as that kid gets a car, trouble starts.

The midlands are so bleak.

These angels are wearing heavy tactical gear and yet more kneepads. The human had them too. This is just kneepad world. I don't see the necklaces of baby ears so maybe that design thing got ditched or maybe Bobby was being metaphorical. The important thing is they don't look like Cas. The weird thing is we know Mikey's costume sort of does look like a ragged Cas.

Anyway Lucifer is so offended to hear Michael killed him even though it was literally the most obvious thing ever the entire time we've known about them and since 12x12 we've had extra info to prove it :P

Omg why are you opening champagne on a traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain

MIKEY

He wanders in like hey I'm awesome but also I need to immediately open with super obvious exposition lines

Lucifer accuses him of being dressed like he came from a western too which goes with the thematics back in the Earth part of the story and also makes me think maybe the costuming choice was supposed to kinda mirror Frontierland Dean's 2nd costume because why the fuck not this is Dabb era, rules are for suckers :P

I can't see it w/o the hat but maybe he has a hat elsewhere.

this hole down into the centre of the earth looks REMARKABLY like the one the 2nd season of Shadowhunters had in the season finale, so I need Magnus to just wander over the rise and close it now. Also his eyes glow gold and cat like. Is his power literally equivalent to Jack's? He's like ridiculously OP in that show. I guess all that hiatus watching was research.

Ah, Asmodeus has learned the "Oh shit it's the Winchesters" moment already, especially recognising the car. Them driving right onto the scene has the oddest shades of 5x22 without anything being remotely like it except it's a field, hole in the earth, and car.

Okay why did Donatello yell "that's not Donatello"

this is like the reverse of the best version of this scene I've ever heard which is the one from the end of Here Be Gerblins in the Adventure Zone which I will not spoil for you except to say this is the worst and also it doesn't take too much listening to get to that point and I nearly cried laughing so you should probably go listen. More hiatus watching research!

The other option is D is having a total crisis of self w/o a soul or the evil D is actually the real thing and Asmodeus is helping them for some reason.

LOL he's like hi I'm Crowley's replacement so the line now is "howdy boys" intead of hello boys

As soon as Jack knows what's up and sees his new peeps getting hurt he stops because he is precious and he did nothing wrong and I love him

AWW HE THINKS THEY'RE HIS FRIENDS I LOVE YOU NOUGAT

Deal with that, Dean.

Mary like "... should I be shuffling backwards?" "I SHOULD BE SHUFFLING BACKWARDS, BYE"

Lucifer said he needed Mary, Mikey says he needs Lucifer... I think that phrase is being turned over and ruined now. The necessary step of Dean having said it to Cas that one time when he shoulda said I love you... They had a brief critique of "need and want" and some stuff about i and we, which was what last season was doing, but Cas feels bad bcos he feels needed but not wanted, and this is as much as Dean has said to him - from the depths of his heart - but it's not enough because that was season 8 and he hasn't felt like he belongs and he needs that I love you. Uh but w/o using "need" - look, they're gesticulating with champagne again, I have 1 eye on this at best as we roll through the midlands for an eternity :P Anyway I guess it is time to put "need" in the firing line as the Wrong Word that means that you're USING someone.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??? DEAN DOES NOT SIT AT THE TABLE LIKE THAT. OH MY POOR, POOR BROKEN CHILD LET ME HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS

I know it's probably for that wonderful shot of them through the door but Dean fundamentally does not sit up against the wall - he and Sam have their places at that table when they have their chats and it's a serious thing since the entire time theyve been using the kitchen for important plot chats.

Anyway he super not okay bcos that's his seat he sits at when he's in his proper place in the dynamic - or improper one but the point is the dynamic is the dynamic when they sit opposite each other and Dean's opted out and flopped back against the wall instead of sitting where he normally does when he and Sam are in balance. Sam's connection to his seat has some other flavours of his side of the codependency issues but largely about his lack of assertiveness or getting too messed up about saving Dean, so we'll see

AAAH Sam is sitting one seat over as well.

I know it's a free table but there's 8 seats and REMARKABLY little flexibility about it.

Dean's wearing a black henley which is also baaad news. *pats him on the head and follows with a blanket*

Sam stands (or sits) his ground

Dean, gosh, I don't like when the camera follows you because this is probably going to be awful for my heart.

We also have not really had his POV much this ep except the Asmodeus chat up scene

He's mostly reacted. Like he thinks Jack is only reacting.

I DON'T LIKE THIS SCENE

PROTECT JACK FROM HIMSELF TOO

I hope he was just being curious like a super amped up version of how Kira on Orphan Black found out she has super healing powers so sliced her own arm open while being scared and fascinated with what she was and pissed off the adults wouldn't tell her anything but this was gross and violent and pls protect Jack because that was awful.

Dean's suitably horrified though because he has to contemplate Jack is just as freaked out and lost as he is about this whole thing because this is a gross and horrifying way to show that Jack is as fucked up and lost as the rest of them. I don't think he was actually trying to kill himself esp. because he knew the angel blade already stabbed him and did nothing and even if he doesn't know what it is and why that's signficant he knows he didn't die of something that should have killed him... I hope it's just childlike curiosity mixed with bleak existential horror as he comes to understand how much he doesn't understand himself even in the context of the world he's in...

OH NO

but also good lines of dialogue they acted super well. Jack is starting to think he can't be saved if Dean doesn't think it and is silently asking him to do it because he doesn't want to hurt people and oh gosh this isn't 10x09 at all where Deran asked Cas to do it to him... But completely different emotional landscape where Dean WOULD do it and wants to and Jack is only just starting to doubt himself and wonder if he would hurt people and the important thing is not like Dean thinking there was a line he would cross and half-tricking Cas into saying he'd do it by asking him for a favour first, but Cas not being able to oblige him in 10x22... This is Jack being such a good pure piece of nougat that he's SCARED of what he is and what he can do and beginning to think that he might need to be killed esp. because Dean thinks so and this has been a bad day for him... even though again his nature shone through, Dean thinks it was a "sneeze" and Jack still doesn't have a developed enough moral compass to understand what he did except that we can see it was a good thing.

And final shot Jack reflected in the mirror all bloody and sad and I need to zoom in on that later to see his face because like magic the sun is out again when I want to look at the screen.

End episode here. Good. That means Dean angstily listening to music is in 13x03 almost for sure because I want it to be (uh, sorry that's not science :P) but it would be a great Berens to Berens chat with self about 9x14 and Dean angstily listening to music there.

I am not actually where were we are any more except powering towards London, but I'm gonna put my laptop away because they're still topping up the champagne and I just survived a BL episode where nothing so awful happened that I can see the fandom outrage from a million miles away and the worst I can say is that they are an exposition machine and I wish they had more nuanced dialogue because in someone else's hands that character stuff would have been delivered well rather than just delivered :P

#13x02 #my stuff #season 13 spoilers #I actually got some of this answered by Tink & co on whatsapp later #but then I had to explain my #look at this effin table #tag to them and me vs typos while texting and no signal in the bleak wilderness #yeah I hope they even have half a clue what I was on about :D #tomorrow I will have to make a post about wtf is going on with that table but tl:dr I flipped out about it completely #and regret that the last time i was drawn to make a Big Post about it it was from the Destiel perspective #with just a handful of codependency chat #because now I really really wish I had a big post about the codependency stuff there #with just a sprinkle of the Destiel stuff on the side #NOT PROOF READ HOLY SHIT LIKE NOT AT ALL WHO AM I WHERE AM I #I am lucky this entire post isn't soaked in a glaswegian's prosecco

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of-another-broken-heart · 7 years ago

Text

That was so fucking awful...

And I get to do it every week for the rest of forever. Great.

My Nana is diabetic and has heart disease. There might be some other conditions she’s got that I have not been made privy to - but those two, I know for sure. She is on a full page of medication. This is not an exaggeration. She has a complete lined paper filled, top to bottom, with her daily medication regimen.

It would be a lot even for a fully able-bodied, neurotypical, mentally healthy person to manage. My Nana is not able-bodied, nor is her mental health or memory as great as it used to be. She used to be able to manage, though. Before her memory started getting a big sloppy.

Now Pop-Pop is trying to shoulder all responsibility, while also blaming Nana for the medications she’s on, and being impossibly stubborn about any suggestions on how to better help or manage the situation.

My one aunt is the only one who actually understands the full scope of what each medication does, what dosage Nana is supposed to take, and how often. There are a few (like Nana’s insulin) that are supposed to have fluctuating dosages based on Nana’s current blood sugar... except, Nana doesn’t always test her blood sugar. She just goes ahead and takes some mid-point standard insulin dosage, I guess. And she’s not supposed to do that. But she’s also lucky to remember to take it - and take it only once - with each meal.

Basically they’re both struggling to be independent despite really, really needing better communication and teamwork. Nana feels, very understandably, trapped and stripped of a lot of her own value. Even when she was in better shape, she was somewhat house-bound. She never had a license, definitely can’t ride a bike any more, and couldn’t go very far on foot. Now, she’s not mobile. She’s on oxygen, with a literal plastic leash tethering her to the house. She can’t even manage most household chores any more, because the heat or moisture will mess with her breathing - and that’s assuming she could move or stand long enough to do it in the first place.

So Pop-Pop is shouldering it all - which is honestly mostly reasonable. Nana took care of it all for over fifty fucking years by herself, PLUS raising four kids and running daycare from home while he was still working. They’re retired now, so it’s not like there’s some nine-to-five or house full of kids otherwise demanding his time on top of normal household routine chores. BUT he’s being such a whiny little shit about it - complaining about ~having~ to make the bed, ~having~ to do the laundry, ~having~ to vacuum, ~having~ to... cook! COOK!

Like... if you were single, you’re telling me you wouldn’t be doing any of that shit? You’d leave your bed a mess? You’d never wash your own damn clothes? You’d leave your floors full of tracked-in dirt, mud, hair, and whatever else?? You’d... never fucking feed yourself?? PLEASE!

The toxicity of 50′s straight marriage is definitely a big factor in the unhappiness - and mutual emotional abuse, honestly - in their marriage. I can chalk up around 99.9999999% of Pop-Pop’s indignation to the manufactured narrative that “the wife does this shit, the husband sits on his ass at home!” You can’t tell them that, of course. Even Nana will agree when Pop-Pop says, “Yeah, well, things were different back then!!” Yes, Pop-Pop, I know... segregation was still a thing. I’m well aware of how “different” things were.

All of that is a mess in its own right, right? Yeah. But is that all I get to deal with? LMAO OF COURSE NOT.

So, when I locked in that I’d be going over every Friday, we decided on what was going to be for dinner and a few tasks we’d be tackling. Or, that I’d be tacking to the best of my ability while trying to keep them both from doing it themselves. Lil sis originally was going to tag along, and mom joked about showing up for dinner (Pop-Pop said he was going to set a big pot roast up with a bunch of veggies). So there was some vague “maybe two more people will join us for dinner” anxiety that Pop-Pop was struggling with. And me, too, honestly.

So today, before I even managed to get out of bed, lil sis sent me a message (as I more or less expected) around 1 PM, saying she had homework to do instead of being able to tag along. Sure, okay. I didn’t fully believe that was the reason, but I wasn’t gonna stress myself over it. (She later hit mom up for money to go to the movies with her friends, so... yeah)

I asked my bro if he wanted to come along, because he’d felt bad about missing Pop-Pop’s birthday visit for a friend thing that ended up falling through. But he was resting from a headache and decline. Alright. Fine. Not a big deal.

I ended up getting there a bit late because 1: I slept like trash and didn’t get up in time to fully prepare myself, and 2: I blew six bucks at McD’s to get coffee and a quick lunch because... (see point 1 again).

As soon as I walked in, Nana was busy making an apple pie. Which she wasn’t supposed to make. Despite professing it was a treat for Pop-Pop, it doesn’t fool anyone that she’s just as invested in having pie for herself. And it’s not like it was a from-scratch pie that she could control the syrups or sugars in - she used canned pie filling.

She’s diabetic. She literally shouldn’t be having that crap because it can kill her.

But, circling back to her struggle to feel purpose, and her desire to make her husband happy (and also feel happy, herself) she likes baking. She likes baked treats. “I’m gonna die anyway, at least let me have good food!” she’s said on more than one occasion.

And I get it. The compromise ends up being small servings accompanied by some extra insulin.

But that doesn’t work any more, either, because her memory is slipping. She used to self-manage the insulin amounts. Now, she sometimes forgets, or takes the wrong dose. And because she’s used to being - and still trying to be - somewhat self-sufficient, she doesn’t communicate if/when she’s having trouble remembering things, or when she does remember and takes a dose.

THEN, because she’s on SO FUCKING MANY MEDICATIONS, the times she DOES communicate that she’s taken her medications... often causes Pop-Pop to fly off the handle, because he automatically jumps to the conclusion that she’s taken the wrong things at the wrong times and/or has screwed up her dosages.

They don’t quite shout at each other regularly - but sometimes they do. And what they’ve gotten in the habit of lately, is calling each other “stupid” or “idiot.” Or calling themselves (mostly Nana, in this case) those things. Because she knows her memory is slipping, and she hates it and can’t do anything about it, and feels awful and like even more of a burden because of it.

Right before I was fixing to set the table for dinner, they were spatting over the pie. Nana said something about “I tried to surprise you with a nice pie, and you don’t even appreciate that,” and Pop-Pop mis-heard “pie” as “party” and immediately jumped to the conclusion that “19 to 20 people” were going to be showing up. He huffed and puffed, and I thought he went to the bathroom - but it turned out he just fucking left. Left the house completely. Drove away.

I had been setting the table, so Nana and I waited after I got everything out. Nana gave a shout to ask if he was okay, and got no answer, so I investigated. The bathroom was open, but the bedroom door seemed to be mostly closed. I let Nana know and suggested he might be getting changed? So we waited a bit more. And waited. Nana wondered if he’d gone to bed instead. I went to knock on the door and find out. No answer from the knock. The lights were out, so it was possible that he was in bed. But nope. The room was empty. Walking back to the dining table, I looked out front and finally realized Pop-Pop’s car was missing.

So just Nana and I had dinner together. It was delicious, but hard to really enjoy, given the circumstances. Pop-Pop called in the middle of it, to check if Nana had taken her mealtime meds, to remind her that “You realize you chased me away, right?” and “Tell Kristin I’m not mad at her.” He said he’d be home around ten or something.

I wanted to cry.

Actually, that’s putting it lightly. I’d already been there for three hours and I was screaming on the inside. Desperate to leave, but unable to abandon them after I promised to help, and especially unwilling to leave Nana alone, when she’s stuck there by herself so much already.

He came back around 8, when Nana and I were just about done with the evening’s dishes. He repeated that he wasn’t angry with me, then said some more nasty shit to Nana. At that point she took herself to bed - the only escape she really has, to be honest - and I stayed a small while longer with Pop-Pop so he could have some vent/social time, too.

Mostly it was all the shit I already knew - just phrased differently. Nana’s medications were overwhelming to manage - but he phrased it like it was her fault for needing it all, her fault for getting old with him. Everything was ~his~ responsibility - except it’s not, it just seems that way because he’s too stubborn to accept any significant help, and too scared that he’ll be left in the dark about important things if/when he IS the only one around to help.

I get it.

I have no idea what will actually help them, because I sure the fuck don’t have the ability to implement the only real solutions I can come up with myself. And so much of the stress and drama and strife is basic fucking communication that they’re both screwing up on.

I don’t know how I’m not bawling my ass off from the anxiety this whole deal caused me, personally. Probably full of too much anger to let it out. Too guilty to let it be about me for even a second.

I’ll break down later, probably.

And do it all again next week.

#personal #journal #family fridays

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isaacathom · 6 years ago

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Day 6 - Gender and Sexuality in Asavla

This ones a little unstructured and rambling, but i wanted to explore a few ideas. not all of these will stay, but i think just having the idea is worth it!

The way the countries of Asavla approach gender is widely varied, but commonly falls into a few different ideas

A tri gender system – male and female are the obvious ones. But then come genders based on a different societal role, that being the Oracle. Historically, oracles were individuals with a high degree of latent magic, who would channel the gods to deliver wisdom. This high amount of magic was believed to separate the Oracle out from the typical society and elevate them above it as god-like. Even if an individual did not have high latent magic (which had some physical affects upon Oracles, helping them be identified), you could still devote yourself to the gods and fall under this label. Some cultures that had notable religious minorities (Divinice was nominally Ylaisan but had a substantial Kysroan minority in the First Kingdom) would separate this Oracle gender into two, one for each deity. Reflecting the different traits of each deity helped define these. Oracle could be a lifelong identification or fluid, just like most gender. In addition, those who might ‘physically’ be an Oracle may instead choose to identify as male and female. It’s a good time for all, I think. Oracles often officially ‘transitioned’ to such a state in young adulthood, say 18 or so. They’re fun!

A two-gender system v1 – Kysroan and Ylaisan, essentially. This was common in northern countries, which were highly separate from everywhere else and their ideas. Here, your gender is based more on personality than physical characteristics and could be fluid. The definitions of these two genders also varied with each country based on the prominent religion and how it accommodated the opposing deity. Northern countries were more accommodating of the ‘other’ deity overall and viewed them as a necessary balance. So you might have a ‘kysroan’ as creative and proud, and an ‘ylaisan’ as hard-working and realistic. Stuff like that. It was highly variably and often varied even within countries, with even neighbouring villages having slightly different ways of categorising it. It was fluid, specially with children, and some consider children (or people who aren’t mature) as a ‘third’ or ‘null’ gender where its in constant flux since they’re developing. And that once they hit a certain age or point of emotional maturity, they can be defined a lil more concretely. Something like that!

A two-gender system v2 – classic male/female dichotomy. This weirdly became more common in Divinice after the advent of demigods, with the ‘oracle’ gender being removed in exchange for straight forward femininity. Since all demigods are afab (barring specific exceptions), some cultures made a logical leap to them all being female. This system remains in Divinice to this day and spread back into eastern lands via Divinice’s huge position as a sort of ‘vatican’ kinda ruler on the Ylaisan faith. Kysroans largely tried to reject this and hold onto the tri system from earlier, with varying success.

A quad gender system – an adaptation of the tri system from above, with the maintaining of the ‘oracle’ and the addition of the ‘demigod’ gender, which are distinct. Because regular humans are still born with high latent magic, and thus are still ‘oracle’, even if the common role for their gender is lost to society on some level. ‘Demigod’ is a more sex-specific gender, in that usually only demigods can identify as such. Meanwhile if a human wants to identify with that sort of state, they are then ‘oracle’. Whether demigods can identify as ‘oracle’ varies between cultures, and largely depends on intended role. Stolisia allowed demigods to identify as ‘oracle’ due to ‘oracles’ having a specific spiritual role within society that anyone can fill, whereas demigods and the ‘demigod’ gender have a more “defensive” sort of role, especially due to the raw magic thing. Its complicated! I /think/ humans in Stolisia can identify as ‘demigod’ as well due to that distinction. Whereas in somewhere like, say, Tsuliya, where the raw magic isn’t an issue and the demigod as ‘defender’ isn’t common, ‘demigod’ is a demigod-unique identity.

The rare 5 gender combo – same as the above, except it differentiates dawn demigods and dusk demigods as separate genders. This can then actually be expanded to a 6 gender system, with male, female, dawn demigod, dusk demigod, dawn oracle, and dusk oracle. Life? Is complex. This one probably isn’t suuper common? Its far more likely a society wishing to acknowledge dawn and dusk demigods as a separate gender rather than just the ‘demigod’ signifier would operate on the ‘tri’ system, with the dawn/dusk split for oracle. If that makes sense? So the genders would be male, female, dawn, and dusk. If youre ‘oracle’ under any other system, you would be dawn/dusk. Potentially both? It’s a bit fiddlier with demigods because theyre physically dawn or dusk, but since this is about culture, not physiology, then go for it lol? Idk. Maybe a country like modern Maleli uses something like this system, to reconcile its kysro/ylais gender system with the m/f system of modern divinice! Go nuts.

ANOTHER KEY THING, though not a system – in societies that adopted the gender binary in totality (Divinice, and residue of it in any of its previous territories or in other Ylaisan nations), women are highly correlated with the gods. So its got heavy matriarchal things in there. I might mess up on writing that sometimes, but that’s the idea! Divinice is highly matriarchal, and even Stolisia, which violently split away from it, has heavy echoes of it (their first presidents were women, their current leader is a demigod who divinice would call ‘female’, etc). stuff like that!

Those are the main gender systems! Now for opinions on sexuality.

It’s really complicated, like always. In medieval times, with lower populations, the more encouraged sexuality was that which would produce children. Which was typically straight male/female, at least in south and eastern culture (the north is a whole other story and that story is Literally just Go for it). Once population stops being the Biggest Issue, its mostly fair game! Especially pre-demigods (the race, not the gender). Once demigods are introduced, things get a little complicated? Mostly due to unrelated social constructs, like all demigods in Divinice being part of a single organisation and largely isolated from society. In this circumstance, which is Divinice specific, demigods can basically only date each other, so its just Gay as Shit. When theres outside interaction, it doesn’t really allow for a romance, since its in a work context. You could technically set up an LDR with a demigod in Divinice with some effort. But theres technically no rule about it. Demigods are women, and if anyones allowed to date any gender, then anyone can date a demigod, its just a matter of would you be able to? The answer is nah. Demigod/demigod (or f/f, by divinice standards) is common then. If youre not into girls and youre a divinitian demigod? Ouch.

Everyone else is cool with it, though. Some cultures that had the ‘oracle’ gender didn’t allow them to date anyone (so like a nun, I guess) due to their highly spiritual role in society, which might translate into a similar sort of rule relating to demigods? Something about emulating the gods to the highest degree? Idk. Its an Eh situation all around!

So, I guess a tl;dr a common third gender is a sort of ‘oracle’, which are usually born with high magic (they cant use it though) and have a very spiritual and religious role in society. Sometimes this gets subdivided into deity specific oracles. Sometimes it includes demigods. Sometimes it doesn’t. Divinice operates on the Gender Binary, and Stolisia operates on a gender square (?) with ‘demigod’ and ‘oracle’ as genders, probably.

In binary societies, due to the high demigods = women, therefore gods = women correlation (which not all cultures LIKE, definitely), they tend to be very matriarchal. Divinice is very matriarchal as a result. So you might get more stay at home dads, and more women ceos. Its probably shifting slightly the more time passes (to a rough equilibrium?) but that’s just sorta how it is.

Sexuality is a free for all except for sometimes demigods/oracles depending on specific culture. generally demigods/oracles are allowed to date each other if not males/females, right. smth like that!

#wbj #world building june #lotmv #story blogging #heyyy im back up to speed! this onewas wild to figure out #i think the tri system is pretty neat and tidy but the quads neat too. the last gender options an absolute mess but i also love it #like its just needlessly complicated! i love that #it doesnt play a huge role in the plot but it does affect some of the characters (especially Seora and Gabriel) so thats fun!! ^v^

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asaspro-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Myth's Thoughts On Recent Changes <3

New Post: https://fortnite.asas.pro/myths-thoughts-on-recent-changes-3/

#fortnite #game #fun #esport #news

Myth's Thoughts On Recent Changes

Okay so im gonna go through my AUTHENTIC thoughts on how I feel about all the changes made with the game in the past few weeks. Let's start off with first shot accuracy.

FIRST SHOT ACCURACY THOUGHTS

Initially I was very very hesitant about keeping in the game and was kinda on the side of thinking that its absolute shit… ngl. As I continued to play with the new mechanic I do feel more and more comfortable with it being a part of the game, but I do feel like there are some things that are kinda scuffed with it. To begin with I feel like the actual time that it takes to get your reticle to FSA when you stand still is a little delayed. I think it would be much more enjoyable if this mechanic where to function in a manner where at the moment you are standing / crouching still you are granted FSA. Currently there is just this awkward delay that just doesn't feel right at times. The second and final thing I want to note is that this system functions primarily at a very far range. I'm unsure if this is a good or bad thing but there’s no way to ignore that this system is pretty much built for one or two scenarios and not a complete overhaul of RNG of the aiming system, but i'm pretty sure that its intent isn't to remove RNG. Things that this mechanic does pretty well though is bring us 100% accuracy, so that's one step forward. Being able to have the option to actually hit people with accuracy is super nice compared to us not having that option at all at any range. One thing I would like from EPIC would be for them to publicly state their current views on combat and aiming in a DevBlog or something, maybe a lil word about what happened to the recoil based system that was leaked a while ago. Maybe even let us try it in a LTM? Just seems kinda awkward that this second option was scratched entirely and hidden away from the community with no word or talk about it. I understand that shift happen and motives change when it comes to game development, would be nice to understand why those shifts / motives take place though.

WEAPON SWITCHING (WELCOME TO FORTNITE POLITICS BOYZZZ. :D)

Okay. I seem to understand most of the communities views on this specific mechanic change. Let me start off by trying to understand EPIC’s intentions. EPIC stated that this nerf was intented to “reduce the effectiveness of quickly switching between weapons for high burst-damage”. Personally I think this really isn't something that I think is wrong for EPIC to try to go for. In EPIC’s eyes they may see quickly switching to pump and other weapons being something that affects whatever plans they have for the game long term. But the primary concern from the community is that this nerf has reduced the skill cap / slowed down the pace of the game. The primary example that I’ve been hearing a whole lot about is the replace and edit peak strat. This is when you destroy someone's wall or floor then replace it with your own and edit a hole in it to create an opportunity to kill someone that is turtling (playing passively / boxing in and trying to heal). Many people feel as if the nerf on the pump switch allows the player that’s turtling a greater opportunity to fire back at you after you created the edit. My only question to anyone that shares this concern is why in the world are you editing then putting your face right in front of the whole you just edited? It makes no sense pre patch or post patch. The player within the box still has the opportunity to kill you pre patch when you don't properly execute on the replace and edit strategy, just because you haven’t been executing this strategy properly and you are now getting punished for it because of a slower switch speed doesn't necessarily mean that the game is being catered to the player at a “disadvantage”. And BTW, when it comes to that mechanic the only real advantage you have on the player is the unpredictability of the edit you decide to make and the time you peak. BUT IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO PREDICT YOUR PEAK WHEN YOU JUST RUN IN THE BOX EXPECTING A FREE FRAG. I’ve killed people pre and post patch trying to do this and it just doesn't work out for them because they do not perform this tactic correctly. Post patch I’ve performed the edit strat against multiple people and peaked them properly and I get the kill with a pump. I guess that's part one of my feelings toward that recent change. Now I want to talk about something that many people may not like to hear but may also very well be the sad truth. Over aggression, its a thing and I’m certain it's the main cause of headache when it comes to people hating the new system. And don't confuse me please, there is a clear difference between playing aggressive and and then being overly aggressive. Over aggression puts you in shitty situations / circumstances just because you don't feel like being patient or want to hit a cool clip for reddit to POGGER to. Now this isn’t an issue but now there are proper weapons for wanting that type of play, these weapons are the ones that have a higher fire rate and lower switch time (post patch). But in the past the pump was the only shotgun in the game that can 200 effective health to 0 effective health someone and with literally 0 disadvantage of doing so (pre patch). There isn't an issue with the way it now function post patch and it's not like you can’t be aggressive with the pump at all it's just that you have to think a bit more with a weapon that CAN LITERALLY ONE SHOT ANYONE AND HAS ONE OF THE MOST COMMON AMMUNITION TYPES IN THE GAME. When it comes to the swap speed of the rocket launcher and the other big chunky damage dealing weapons in the game I feel like this logic was applied to them and the amount of power they have is being controlled with switch speed instead of nerfing their direct damage. And to be quite frank, I’ve played this patch a bunch and haven’t changed my way aggressive playstyle one bit and I perform just as well. Going into Solo v Squads may be something that's a bit more difficult to pull off with these changes, but Squads wasn’t designed to favor an individual against four others. Overall I think people talking about the skill cap being lowered is a huge reach and is not the case. Speed =/= higher or lower skill cap. Every strategy can still be executed post patch as pre patch. Shotgun roles are much much more clear with this patch and that's something that I appreciate about the patch personally. I think a lot of this patch is a comfort thing that most people would rather not adjust to because they are used to the pacing of things before, with that I think they are letting the discomfort of pacing get in the way of viewing that things are still effective. Altho the sniper does feel ditsy as fuck at times with being able to scope in and still not being able to shoot… thats off O.o

HIYA THANKS FOR READING THIS LONG ASS POST

I'm pretty sure that's all I had to say, I encourage everything to list out their thoughts on the patch in a constructive manner other than saying “ITS THE WORST PATCH OF ALL TIME REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”. If you disagree with me, that's fine. If you agree with me, that's fine. If it gets reverted, that’s fine. If it doesn’t, that’s fine. My point in making this post is to voice my honest opinion, not to try to convince anyone that my way is right or wrong. Much love, and as always, Keep Believing.

TLDR : Get your ass back up to the top and read all this shit, lazy ass…

#Uncategorized

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asaspro-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Myth's Thoughts On Recent Changes <3

New Post: https://fortnite.asas.pro/myths-thoughts-on-recent-changes/

#fortnite #game #fun #esport #news

Myth's Thoughts On Recent Changes

Okay so im gonna go through my AUTHENTIC thoughts on how I feel about all the changes made with the game in the past few weeks. Let's start off with first shot accuracy.

FIRST SHOT ACCURACY THOUGHTS

WEAPON SWITCHING (WELCOME TO FORTNITE POLITICS BOYZZZ. :D)

HIYA THANKS FOR READING THIS LONG ASS POST

TLDR : Get your ass back up to the top and read all this shit, lazy ass…

#Uncategorized

0 notes