#but now there is a wedding to plan (if they can’t convince their padawans that they can do better than the other’s padawan)

[tennessoui]

still rotating this one in my mind, but same age padawan au where anakin and obi-wan start up a relationship when they’re in their teens, and they’re very seriously in love and they’re trying to hide it but they’re not good at that at all. playing footsie under the mess hall tables. passing notes in class. sending each other young love puppy eyes from across the meditation room.

and anakin is far too happy for Palpatine, so he sticks his nose where it doesn’t belong and points out to anakin (out of grandfatherly concern) that there is no future for obi-wan and anakin. There can’t be. Obi-Wan is much too dedicated to being a Jedi. How can you be sure his feelings match yours?

and maybe they could have survived that but obi-wan’s master, qui-gon, is also concerned about their relationship - it’s too close to attachment, padawan, and you know Anakin Skywalker is the Chosen One. He must walk the path of the Jedi, and your affection towards each other only serves to obfuscate his future, blur his priorities.

so basically they break up because obi-wan never wants to be bad for anakin and anakin confronts him about his feelings and their future and obi-wan, thinking about what qui-gon said, hesitates and that’s enough to break teenage anakin’s heart

and obviously both of them are not actually mature enough to deal with this heartbreak so they go from being attached at the hip to not speaking at all to a quiet resentment of each other

and I feel like they’re in their late 30s before they ever willingly step foot in the same room again and it’s because the council has forced them to…because their padawans have announced their intention to leave the order and marry each other

[master-sass-blast]

Sass Attacks Star Wars --Part One: the Padme/Anakin relationship.

Alright. Okay. THIS has been a looonnnggg time coming.

I love Star Wars. It was my first major movie franchise. Star Wars holds a near and dear place in my heart, and it always will.

H.O.W.E.V.E.R.

There are a lot of parts that just...

No.

And, with this specific edition, I’ll be ranting about the Padme/Anakin relationship in Attack of the Clones, Star Wars the Clone Wars, and Revenge of the Sith.

Largely because I have determined that George Lucas doesn’t know how to write women.

-FIRST AND FUCKING FOREMOST: A twenty-three year old, independent, politically successful, financially well-off woman is not going to harbor a deep romantic love for a boy that she met ten years ago and hasn’t seen since.

Just... no.

It’s not going to happen.

Especially when you consider that a nineteen year old would barely be out of high school.

There usually isn’t the level of emotional maturity that would attract an adult woman to a teenager barely out of high school.

Especially when you consider that the Jedi’s version of emotional maturity is “REPRESS. EVERYTHING.”

-But, I’ll admit that Attack of the Clones Hayden Christensen is, undeniably, fucking hot.

-I mean, look at him.

-So, charitably, perhaps Padme sees Anakin --still expecting the chubby cheeked kid she met ten years ago--and goes “Hot damn.”

I mean, I would.

-And, equally as charitable, let’s assume: 1.) Anakin is better at human interaction than the lines offered in the movie and 2.) doesn’t reek of stalker-y obsession like he did in the movie.

-So, like, maybe there’s an initial physical attraction, but Padme knows that Jedi are forbidden to have attachments and that engaging in a relationship with one can cause a LOT of scandal for all parties involved, so that’s the end of that.

I know I can’t be the only one with this kind of mindset. Like, did any of you ever see someone you’d never met at a party or coffee shop before, go ‘hot damn,’ maybe flirt with them a little, only to find out later that they’re with someone?

Like, you automatically put that option off the table. Even if you have feelings for them, you don’t act on them.

That’s what Padme would do, in my opinion. She might be attracted to him, might be attracted to the power he exudes, but in the end she would know better and let the idea go.

Side note: There’s no contesting that Padme is gorgeous. She probably has a dozen Senators and nobles offering to court her at any given time. There’s probably at least five serious Republic based fanclubs for her, plus at LEAST one underground Separatist one. A Jedi PADAWAN with an obvious crush on her isn’t going to set her off-balance that much.

-And OH BOY does letting go of pursuing a relationship with Anakin end up being the right idea.

-Remember that scene in AotC, where Anakin’s bitching about the Council and Obi-Wan limiting his abilities and power while Padme packs to leave for Naboo?

-Yeah, THAT ONE.

-Any self respecting woman knows that when a guy starts bitching like that (and not venting frustrations or talking, BITCHING) an immediate red flag needs to go up.

I’ve met guys that did stuff like that, over similar topics that Anakin whined about, in a similar attitude, and WHOO BOY.

At best, they were apathetic disasters that had no motivation for life and minimal empathy for others. Classic selfish assholes.

At worst, they were actual sociopaths/psychopaths (and, yes, I’m dead serious).

-And, even if Padme has sympathy for Anakin’s “predicament” (more on that at another date), his behavior clearly shows that he’s not ready for a relationship --even if he wasn’t a Jedi.

-So, aside from being off limits, he’s emotionally immature. End of story, end of attraction.

-BUT THEN: the flight to Naboo happens.

-And it’s OBVIOUS Anakin’s flirting with her.

-Which, ya know, awkward, but excusable.

-Until he tells her that he dreams about her.

Even as a preteen, nothing about this line was romantic to me. It did not “set fire” to my loins then, and it especially doesn’t now that I’m twenty.

Like, if the guy is not your partner, there’s nothing sweet about hearing that you’ve been “dreamed about.”

It’s really creepy. Like, when I was younger, I thought it was just cringey. Now that I’m older, it’s just creepy and a clear indication that Anakin either doesn’t care about Padme’s comfort or is just EXTREMELY bad at reading emotional and social cues.

I mean, I’d buy the latter, because --ya know--the Jedi order, but the context doesn’t change that it only repels/destroys any growing attraction.

-So now, Anakin’s gone from “forbidden fruit,” to “arrogant and emotionally immature,” to “awkward, but forgivable,” to “awkward and creepy.”

-And they’re going to spend a lot of time together in an isolated location with minimal contact with other people.

-And, ladies, we all know what we do when we hit situations like that:

Spend as little time with the person as possible and contact for help/a replacement, that’s right!

-So, assuming that Padme goes this route, the kiss scene never happens. The scene with the black dress:

(Yeah, that ^^^^^ dress) Never happens. Ever.

-Anakin still has nightmares about his mother, and Padme still agrees to help, because one of Padme’s best personality traits is her compassion for others.

-They go to Tatooine. Padme dresses much more sensibly for the environment because she is a smart, educated woman with a vast wardrobe and because she’s trying to deflect attention from Anakin.

-Anakin murders the Tusken Raiders after his mother dies. Padme finds out (in a group setting, not one on one, because she’s smart enough to not isolate herself with him) and Anakin goes from an “awkward and creepy” to a “get me the fuck out of here, please.”

-They stay on Tatooine, as told, so that Padme doesn’t have to spend a lot of time with Anakin, in space, alone. This is because Padme is smart, and knows that going to a Separatist world as a Republic Senator without cover, a plan, or an idea of what she’s getting into with a guy that just murder dozens of sentient beings is not a good idea.

-Obi Wan is rescued. The Clone Army comes to save the day. Dooku gets away. Anakin and Padme are picked up by a Republic cruiser and escorted back to Coruscant.

-There is no confession of love from Padme, and no secret wedding. Padawan and Senator part ways, and Padme heaves a sigh of relief for it.

-Revenge of the Sith continues without the marriage/pregnancy sub-plot.

No one cares, because it wasn’t that convincing to begin with.

-Padme lives, and goes on to be a founder and major actor in the Underground resistance.

-Anakin goes on to be Vader by downfall via insecurity. There’s more than enough for Palpatine to manipulate without Padme in the picture.

Essentially, what bugs me about the Padme/Anakin sub-plot is that it’s deeply misogynistic and shows an utter lack of knowledge on writing women well. Padme’s status as a politician is little more than a necklace --a dazzling piece of flashy jewelry that, aside from looking good, serves no real purpose in the movies.

(I’ll grant that Padme’s status as a Senator is used far better in the TV show, but I think the full potential was never truly reached. But more on that later.)

Aside from a tiny handful of scenes, we never see her act as a Senator. We never see her using her years of experience and expertise to negotiate deals, suggest new policies, or advise the Queen she serves. We got to see Palpatine do that in Phantom Menace, but we never get to see Padme do it in the movies.

In addition, it’s abundantly and PAINFULLY clear that George Lucas doesn’t know how to write female characters, much less female characters in love. Padme doesn’t have a specific, consistent characterization in the movies. She’s all over the page, especially in Revenge of the Sith. Her emotional range is wildly underwhelming, and her intellectual prowess is completely stifled by having all the plot point lines go to the men around her.

(And I don’t mean that Natalie Portman’s emotional range is underwhelming. Movie!Padme’s emotional range is underwhelming. In my opinion, Natalie Portman got handed a shitty script and did her best.)

In the long run, Movie!Padme is nothing but Anakin’s arm candy. She rarely makes choices for herself, rarely gets to do anything that the men around her don’t approve of, and rarely has a scene without Anakin.

Also, Padme isn’t a woman in love. There isn’t one convincing moment of narrative in the movies OR the books. She just seems uncomfortable, unhappy, or disturbed. We can believe that Anakin has a crush on/obsession with Padme because of his behavior and body language, but that’s never reflected by Padme.

Side note: Anakin lists his reasons for “loving” Padme as her beauty (possibly her compassion) and the fact that she “kissed him.” Padme never gives one reason in the movies for why she loves Anakin.

Think about it.

Anyway, TL;DR: the Padme/Anakin relationship makes no sense, is poorly written, and goes against basic female behaviors towards guys like Anakin.

[keldae]

Anniversary

It was early spring on Odessen. Birdsong carried on the breeze, accompanied by the scent of the trees surrounding the Alliance base. Sunlight streamed through the clouds, warm and comforting to most.

The redhaired woman sitting on a window ledge didn’t feel it. No matter that her little ledge was open to the sunlight and the elements, or that the breeze earned an involuntary shiver -- she felt nothing. She wandered through her own mind, lost in her thoughts, her gaze unseeingly fixed on the small circle of gold she kept twisting on her finger, over and over again.

She either didn’t notice the two men watching her from a safe distance or didn’t care to acknowledge them. One of the men, a tall blond-haired spacer, sighed when he sensed the emotions leaking out from her mental shields. “Yeah, no, it’s a rough day. She’s probably not gonna respond to anything.”

The other man, dark of skin and hair, frowned worriedly and crossed his arms. “She’s only been having rough days since he left. Has she eaten anything today?”

“I dunno. Probably not.” The blond glanced over at his companion. “It’s their anniversary today, Koth…”

Koth swore under his breath. “No wonder she’s so out of it, then. It was only their first, wasn’t it?”

Beside him, Korin nodded. The pranking, jovial spacer was unusually sombre, had been since he’d returned from Umbara without his best friend. “And with their son hidden somewhere that ain’t here, she’s a wreck.”

Koth winced. “Poor thing. Is she talking to anyone?”

“Not even Tee-Seven, and you know it’s bad when she won’t talk to Tee-Seven. Senya an’ Lana both tried earlier, but…” Korin sighed. “She wouldn’t even talk to Dad earlier when he tried to get her to eat something.”

“Anything we can maybe do? At all?”

Korin’s lips pressed together in a thin line as he worriedly looked at his sister. Not for the first time, he was tempted to confide the actual plan to her, reassure her that her husband was trying to save her, not kill her… anything to bring the life back to her eyes, or a smile to her face. But until he and Theron and Lana found the real traitor in the base, they couldn’t risk it yet, and that was eating him alive. He glanced over at Koth and shook his head. “Not unless we can find Theron and drag his sorry hide back here, or make it safe for Daenril to come home. They’re the only two Xaja wants.”

Koth grunted in frustrated acknowledgement, and the two pilots turned back to their worried vigil over the Alliance Commander.

She could feel the weight of her brother and friend’s worried looks. She was grieving, not blind. But she couldn’t look up and acknowledge them. That required strength she didn’t have. All she wanted to do was curl up in some dark corner and hide from the weight of the galaxy that she carried on her shoulders, hide until someone else could be the hero instead of her and make everything right again, without the grand kark-ups she’d caused since the Alliance was formed.

Not for the first time, she thought back through all of her previous choices and tried to find out what had gone wrong. Why had the galaxy revolted against the Alliance like this? Was it her leadership? Had she and Sorand, who’d all but taken over the Commander’s duties in the face of the uprisings while she’d been pregnant, somehow karked something up? Had this been laying in wait under the surface, waiting for Vaylin and Valkorion’s demises before rearing its head to strike? Was it something she’d done during the rebellion, or during the Iokath disaster that had nearly killed her?

Whatever it was, Xaja couldn’t see a way to fix it, and that broke her heart. She wanted Theron back to get answers from him for what he’d done to her -- her father was still convinced the younger spy was acting on her behalf, but Xaja was too afraid to trust that hope. She wanted her baby back with her, safe and sound -- but until they found the answers for Theron’s idiocy, found out more about this mysterious Order of Zildrog, Odessen wasn’t safe for her little boy. Daenril was safest with Satele Shan, and that upset Xaja even more -- not that her mother-in-law was raising her son, no. She trusted Master Satele, had trusted her ever since she was a Padawan. But she couldn’t keep her own son safe, another blow to her pride as the Alliance Commander, to her own sense of self-worth as a mother and a Jedi.

She sighed and pulled back from the window ledge, turning inward to her temporary quarters. Her father had ordered her moved to a different billet in the base, one Theron wouldn’t expect her to be in should he return to finish what he started on Umbara. This room was smaller, but secure, and well-protected. The sunlight from the window should have warmed the cold shards left in her heart… but nothing could touch that now, or so she felt.

Her feet carried her toward the storage cabinet in the room, and she dropped to her knees as she opened the door. There, crumpled in the bottom of the wardrobe, was a pile of red and black leatheris. Some days, she couldn’t look at it without shoving it further away and weeping… other days, like today, she grabbed the wrinkled jacket and held it against her chest like it was a lifeline. She could still pick up traces of Theron’s scent on the garment, the scent all at once breaking her heart again and making her feel almost safe and whole. She slipped the jacket on over her thin shoulders, all but drowning in the oversized coat. When she sat down on the bed and closed her eyes, she could almost pretend she was wrapped in Theron’s arms, safe and warm and protected from the monsters that she couldn’t banish from her own mind…

Her jaw clenched in pained grief as she laid down, pulling Theron’s jacket tighter around her skinny frame and tears trickling out from her closed eyes. One year ago, they’d stood on a beach together and slid rings onto each other’s fingers while vowing to love each other forever… now she felt alone and abandoned. Why like this, Theron? she silently cried as she pressed her wedding ring against her lips. Why after you said you loved me?...

Theron was pretty sure that the only two dates to hurt him more than his wedding anniversary were either his wife’s birthday, or his son’s. But he had a goal to bring down the Order of Zildrog before Daenril turned one, or at least make sure Xaja had the information she needed to take down the Order herself. His son was not going to grow up in a galaxy of fear, not if he could help it.

But damn, he wished he was able to make the galaxy safe in a way that didn’t hurt the woman he loved.

It wasn’t enough for him to have the memory of her wide eyes, the expression that looked like she’d just been sucker-punched in the chest, the choked sound of tears in her voice as he left her on the cursed train. Then he’d been an idiot and asked Korin and Lana for updates on her. Lana’s messages had been brief, summarizing the Jedi’s plans and schemes to hunt him down.

Korin’s made him hurt whenever he read them. She’s not eating. I don’t think she’s sleeping. She’s so pale she’s practically translucent. Dad’s worried about her. She hasn’t smiled since Umbara happened. She nearly fainted during morning briefing. We’re all worried. She DID faint during morning briefing today. Finish your op and get out of there. You need to come back soon. Yesterday would be good.

Theron set the shuttle into night-cycle and laid down on his narrow bunk. In the darkness, his deft fingers sought out the secret compartment in the wall, not big enough to hold more than a datastick, or a few credits… or a wedding ring, hidden away where the Order couldn’t see it. It belonged on his finger, not in a small, dusty compartment… and he belonged on Odessen, curled up in a larger bed with the woman who wore the matching ring to his own. Did Xaja still even wear the ring he’d given her, or had she thrown it away, tossed on a powerful Force-throw into the forest?

He closed his fist around the ring and pressed it against his mouth, willing himself to not give a voice to his sorrow and his grief. It hurt, it hurt so badly, but if it kept his wife and son safe, it was worth it… right? His eyes drifted shut as he let his mind wander. Inevitably, his thoughts turned toward his wife and son -- one of them on Odessen, trying to pull herself together to lead a ragtag Alliance… the other one having vanished off the face of the galaxy, and not even Lana and Korin knew where Daenril was. Wherever the baby was, Xaja had authorized it, and that was Theron’s only consolation. And if he couldn’t find Daenril, the Order couldn’t either…

Red hair and green eyes, brimming with tears, filled Theron’s thoughts. He embraced the pain anyway to see this vision of her, like he desperately wished he could embrace her. Xaja…

Haunted hazel eyes filled Xaja’s mental vision for a moment, and grief not her own clenched her heart. She froze, letting the tears trickle unheeded over her pale face. That nudge against her mind, warm and solid as it was… it was familiar. It felt like… no, it can’t be. But who else could have taken over his side of the faint, strained bond they had shared?

She hesitated, then reached back along that narrow thread of the Force, seeking the presence she’d known as well as her own on the other end. For long moments, she felt nothing, and feared that she’d imagined that warm, reassuring presence --

No. That was him, the glimmer of light and warmth that she just brushed up against. Desperately, Xaja reached out before Theron’s presence could vanish again. Theron…

He felt that tug against his mind. His eyes flashed open in shock as the feeling of Xaja (all at once fire and sunshine and sweetness and the refreshing coolness of a new rain) brushed against him, a feeling that he would never have been able to mistake for anyone else. How… she shouldn’t be near enough to feel me. Odessen is several sectors away! And he thought that he had blocked off his end of their bond.

A good spy would have shoved her away, closed himself off and prevented her from feeling him again. For long seconds, Theron wavered, knowing what the mission required him to do. But this feeling of warmth was comforting to him… and then he felt agony that was not his, agony and despair and a grief so sharp, it may as well have been a knife twisting in his chest.

Korin’s terse messages came back to Theron’s mind, and he set his jaw grimly. No matter if he destroyed every single person with ill intent before they could get to Xaja… it meant nothing if she gave up and succumbed to her grief. Theron knew too well how fatal hopelessness could be. He closed his eyes again and strained, reaching back to her as best as he could with his lack of connection to the Force, found her distant presence and clung to her.

He reached back for her. He didn’t shut her out again. Xaja clung right back to him, his warmth mingling with the scent of his jacket around her, making her feel like he was laying beside her instead of somewhere on the other side of the bloody galaxy. She squeezed her eyes shut, focusing on what she could sense from him.

His mental blocks felt like they were down. Xaja could feel immense sadness from him, and guilt (good, she bitterly thought), and regret, and worry, and through it all a thread of determination. Whatever idiotic idea he had in mind, he was going to see it through.

Her own emotions came racing along the bond before she could attempt to corral them. Pain, heartbreak, grief, fear, anger… She opened up her shielding, letting him feel what he’d done to her. They were far too distant to exchange words, but she could still pass on what she felt.

The guilt and sorrow she felt from him resurged, and a wave of some deep emotion she didn’t have a name for rushed over her, making her feel almost like drowning. Was that… apology? Regret? She tucked it away to analyze later and let her grief rise up again. If she could pass one word to him… Why? she screamed into the Force.

The sudden feeling of fierce protectiveness stole her breath away. She knew that feeling… she’d sensed it every time Theron had guarded her back in a fight, or stood guard over her as she’d fought her way back to consciousness, or come tearing through a pack of faceless enemies to help her. Theron’s… protecting me? From what?

Then she felt a surge of something familiar, and despite her trying to shy away from it, it all but drowned her. Love, love, love. Theron had never stopped loving her, if what his emotions indicated was true. That was the emotion she remembered feeling from him a year ago as he’d kissed her after making his vows to her… as he’d held their newborn son in wonder… as she’d felt from him before they’d taken off for Umbara. That was too deep a feeling to be faked. Protection and love…

He’d confused her and he knew it. Theron winced when he realized just how deeply Xaja must have believed the lie he’d told her, the lie that he wanted to destroy her and the Alliance. As she silently absorbed the feeling of love he’d pushed her way, the spy focused. Holding onto the bond for this long was giving him a headache, but he wasn’t about to drop this fragile connection he had with Xaja. He took a deep breath, letting himself feel hope for the first time in too long. Hope that they were going to win against the Order, hope that he would be able to eventually come home to her, hope that his family was going to survive intact.

Finally, finally, he felt a crack in her despair, felt the slimmest glimmer of her own hope. Joy rushed through him powerfully enough to take his breath away… then he finally felt love that wasn’t his own. Xaja reached back for him, with the same love that Theron remembered so clearly from their nights together before the Order had torn them apart. He smiled despite the tears dampening his cheeks as their bond seemed to strengthen, love flowing between them despite the distance separating them.

And for a moment, he could have sworn that he felt Xaja lying beside him, her warm breath on his cool skin. He didn’t dare open his eyes and break the spell, not when he could envision the feeling of her cold hands against his so vividly, breathe in her scent, and pretend that all was as it was supposed to be. In his mind’s eye, he suddenly saw a room on Odessen, and Xaja curled up in front of him, all burrowed up into his old red jacket, a new scar on her cheek that he realized must have come from leaping away from the crashing train, tear tracks on her too-pale face… but a smile on her lips.

Theron’s grasp on the bond finally slipped, and he felt himself drifting back into himself despite his best frantic efforts to cling to Xaja. I love you, he whispered across the expanse, and prayed that she heard it as his eyes finally opened. His pillow was damp from the tears he’d unconsciously shed while in the trance, and his hand was cramping from how tightly he held on to his wedding ring, but his heart was the lightest it had been since the day he’d abandoned her on Umbara.

Xaja slowly sat up, pulling Theron’s jacket tighter around her. She felt disoriented after holding onto her bond with her husband for so long… but she’d somehow heard his whisper, and knew his words were true. Whatever stupid thing Theron was doing, he still loved her… and she still loved him. The feeling of him laying beside her, all warmth and protectiveness and security, still lingered; she passed her hand over his side of the bed, and was almost surprised to realize it was cold.

Hope settled into her chest, feeling almost uncomfortably light and easy. She hadn’t realized how used she’d grown to the despair that had settled in after the train exploded. Warmth flowed through her, a welcome change from the crippling cold that had plagued her since she escaped the train. For once, it didn’t hurt to breathe, or move, and she almost felt like she could maybe try a smile.

She slipped her wedding ring back onto her finger and stood up, brushing away the last of her tears with the jacket sleeve. The Alliance still needed her… Daenril needed her… Theron needed her. The will to live and fight bloomed in her chest again as she nodded to herself. Curling up and drowning in despair wasn’t going to help anyone, or bring Theron back to her where he belonged. She had an Alliance to lead and an Order to take down.

And somewhere in the galaxy, she had a husband to bring home.

[lurkingcrow]

Ok, so I had a few ideas about an AU of an AU of a crack AU thanks to @albaparthenicevelut @resistancepilots  @aifsaath and @forcearama . And then I got thinking. And then it got a little long. Ok, a lot long. But the mental image had so much potential...

 It all starts on Mandalore. In another universe Satine Kryze holds her tongue and Obi-Wan Kenobi leaves after saying his goodbyes and commits to becoming the best Jedi he can be. In this universe, she asks him to stay. So he does. Oh not immediately, there are after all conversations he must have with his master, apologies he must give, but Obi-Wan meditates long and hard and determines that this is where the force is calling him and so he leaves the order just after his 18th birthday. 

Qui-Gon is devastated at first. But Obi-Wan is no Xanatos - he is not leaving for power, or due to the failings of his master, but for love and the chance to bring about peace to a war-torn planet, and maybe Qui-Gon can live with that. He stays for their wedding, which for all its simplicity given the limited resources is no less beautiful. Qui-Gon does not cry, but his eyes are suspiciously wet and anyone with a hint of Force sensitivity can feel his love and pride half a planet away. Obi-Wan may still have his doubts about leaving, but having his former master's support means the world. Their bond never truly breaks, and frequent holocalls ensure that Qui-Gon is up to date with what his former apprentice is up to (Satine is not above snitching to him about Obi-Wan's reckless stunts in the hope that he can guilt her husband into behaving, and Qui-Gon is thankful for her efforts to keep their relationship strong. He is growing quite fond of Obi-Wan's lady love.).

But it is lonely in the temple without his padawan. And increasingly Qui-Gon is growing frustrated with the senate interference in Jedi activities. The missions he is sent on seem like futile wastes of time, and while he never thought he would say it, he is beginning to see Master Dooku's point about the systemic corruption being too entrenched to overcome. Honestly, these days he suspects he'd do more good running around the galaxy as some kind of vigilante peacekeeper than negotiating yet another inane trade deal that should have been resolved weeks earlier if it weren't for the egos involved... the force pings. Oh.  Qui-Gon Jinn is a master of the living force, of the here and now, and here and now the force is telling him that maybe that's not such a bad idea.

Truthfully there is little left for him in the Temple; Tahl, Master Dooku, Obi-Wan - so many of those close to him are gone. All that keeps him here is his duty, and as a Jedi is his ultimate duty not to the Force? It would be nice to pay Obi-Wan a visit, maybe take a side trip to Serreno to see what his old master is up to these days...

So Qui-Gon leaves, not quite knowing what his plans are but trusting in the will of the Force. He initially sets up on Mandalore, where Obi-Wan and Satine are more than happy to have him (once Qui-Gon has finished convincing his not-son that his leaving the order was not his fault. Satine does not permit emotional constipation in her palace after all.), but soon finds himself restless and sets out again, promising not to get in too much trouble. Obi-Wan sighs and Satine starts ordering the set of armour she knows he's going to need when it comes time to rescue his old master. After all, their future children should have at least one Grandparent to look up to right?

The Force takes him to Tatooine, where an investigation of Gardulla the Hutt ends up with him befriending a local mother and her toddler and confronting the reality of slavery on the Outer Rim. The Jedi aren't coming to free the slaves, but Qui-Gon's no longer just a Jedi is he? And he sees Shmi worry over Little Ani (So strong in the force! And yet so unlikely to ever be found and brought to the temple...) and decides that maybe he can't save them all, but there's no reason he can't try and help those he can. A bit of offhand gambling during the negotiations, a minor favour of two (that the Hutt doesn't realise will end up backfiring but Qui-Gon does) and Qui-Gon Jinn is up a large sum of credits and two newly freed Skywalkers.

(It should be noted that as there are a lack of facilities to provide a midichlorian count, and Shmi is still somewhat reluctant to admit to the whole "virgin birth" thing, Qui- Gon considers Anakin Skywalker to be a strong and promising child but not exactly miraculous. Cute though. Very cute. He likes to fall asleep against his shoulder and Qui-Gon gets nostalgic about all the times Obi-Wan did the same. Shmi looks on, and thinks.) 

They head to Mandalore to get the chips out (and to show Obi-Wan that his father old master is safe and well - minus a cracked rib of two) and  Qui-Gon Jinn is faced with a major dilemma. He really should be encouraging Shmi to consider sending Ani to the temple, where his talents can be trained, but… he looks to where Shmi and Satine are beaming as they watch Anakin attempt to sneak up on Obi-Wan who is assiduously pretending to ignore the toddler's giggles as he reads the latest reports on the rebuilding effort. Anakin inexplicably adores Obi-Wan, and it is to all appearances, mutual.  Qui-Gon has no desire to hurt his former Padawan again, and how could he be so hypocritical as to send little Ani off to an institution he’s not sure he believes in anymore? The question is rendered moot when Shmi bluntly tells him the only ones she trusts with Anakin are currently in the palace, and if he needs teaching Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan can do it. The idea is honestly a little uncomfortable for the pair of former Jedi, but they're coming to terms with what the Force seems to be asking of them.

 Which in Qui-Gon’s case seems to mean a lot of trips to the outer rim among the poor and downtrodden - oddly enough Shmi suddenly decides to come with him, claiming that Ani is safe as he can be on Mandalore, she’s familiar with some of the more unsavory parts of the galaxy and Qui-Gon needs someone to watch his back. He’s just glad for the company,  particularly when he does end up paying a visit to Serenno. Watching a former slave look Dooku in the eye and calmly and quietly call bullshit on his arguments surrounding the role of the trading unions is worth every moment. Honestly, while he may have a point about corruption within the Republic, Qui-Gon is getting a little creeped out by his former Master’s insistence on the need for strong leadership and a firm hand. It sounds like he’s advocating open conflict, and war isn’t good for anyone!

So he attempts to make his goodbyes, but Dooku is reluctant to let them leave, which means it’s time to implement the old “disappear and claim you had a vision” trick. And ok, so I won't go into details, but after a long and complex series of events involving a freight hauler, eight barrels of spiked Telosian Brandy, three janitor droids and a Twilek Dance Company they manage to make it off planet and into Hutt space where they can disappear for a bit.

But a Skywalker is still a Skywalker, not matter how much sense she has, and Qui-Gon Jinn is as much a trouble-magnet as the rest of his line, so thanks to yet another strange convergence of events involving an attempted kidnapping, five tonnes of explosives, a backroom bar on Ord Mantell, a missing shipment of Spice, an insurrection on a mining colony,  uncountable huttese expletives, one inspirational speech, a cache of heavy weapons and no less than eight marriage proposals, Qui-Gon Jinn finds himself the captain of a small fleet of ships and a band of untrained but passionate freedom fighters. Shmi has never laughed so much in her entire life!

Qui-Gon does what he does best and attempts to talk his way out of it, but it is to no avail; “Captain Jinn” is an inspiration to them all, his dedication is unparalleled and they will do all they can to aid him in his quest to bring justice to the galaxy!  Qui-Gon panics and calls in the cavalry. Unfortunately for him Satine thinks it’s a brilliant idea.

Because while she adores her husband, the Duchess of Mandalore has noticed that recently he seems to be going a little stir crazy. For all his denials Obi-Wan is a man of action, and things have calmed enough that he needs a distraction lest she start throwing martini glasses at him to make him stop hovering! Assisting a band of “pirates” in undermining the various interests who take advantage of the lawless nature of the Outer Rim to spread their influence and at the same time giving him the chance to spend time with Qui-Gon  seems like an excellent way to keep him occupied. Also, as Shmi points out, it’s exactly the type of thing that Mandalorians go gaga for - heroic warriors secretly taking out evildoers and doing good while dramatically declaring their own villainy, why it seems like the perfect outlet for those Mandalorians who long for the glory found in days of old!

She’s right. There are plenty of volunteers willing to follow their Duchess’ dashing husband to join his father mentor in cleaning up the Outer Rim. They start out small, intercepting a shipment of slaves, diverting a cargo of pharmaceuticals to a planet in urgent need of medicine, confiscating a hold full of illegal weaponry. But soon they grow bolder, raiding larger and larger targets, always making sure that those they hit deserve it and will only bring themselves greater trouble if they make a fuss about the loss of their ill-gotten gains. Soon their little group has carved out quite a solid support base, and while they never stop wondering why the Force seems so happy about this turn of events, the former Jedi actually begin to enjoy their work. They’re slowly making progress, and eventually they know enough momentum will build that uniting this part of the galaxy and freeing the slaves may one day be feasible. Also, it’s really really pissing off both the Senate and the Order, which means they must be doing something right.

And that is how Qui-Gon Jinn becomes a Pirate King, the Scourge of Slavers, Hassler of Hutts, Bane of the Banking Clan and Terror of the Techno Union. Dooku is grinding his teeth into dust with frustration. Especially since all his correspondence suggesting an alliance is either returned unopened or overwritten with sarcastic commentary and a suggestion to go deep throat a lightsaber.

That’s more than enough for now, I need some sleep, but there is more to this verse I’ve worked out. Tune in next time for “Naboo’s no good very rotten day aka Padme Amidala, Pirate Queen in Exile” “The clone wars start but the clones are late to the party” “Qui-Gon discovers he never actually formally quit the Jedi, and Yoda and Mace take advantage of this” “Plo Koon admire’s Qui-Gon’s taste in pets” and “Oh god, Anakin Skywalker, Mandalorian Pirate Prince, what have I done?”...

[isaakfvkampfer]

fic rec and fic-induced headcanon

Some SW fics I really love and would like to recommend. Some may be considered reaaaaaally weird and mind-blowing but all of them are brilliant! They inspired me and now my headcanon is reaaaaaaally fucked-up... You might want to read these fics first bc my half-borrowed headcanon is full of spoilers for them.

Out of the Dark Valley http://archiveofourown.org/works/6281581/chapters/14393407 Breaking the Future to His Hand http://archiveofourown.org/series/525610 Not In His Plans http://archiveofourown.org/works/5111396/chapters/11759570 Rococo http://archiveofourown.org/works/9101827 Sedition http://archiveofourown.org/works/8836729

Don’t read this half-borrowed headcanon if you are not prepared. It’s really fucked-up.

Plagueis is basically gay and he likes young boys. Palpatine is asexual and he only has an eye for power. The old perv uses Palps for several decades in every way, for he is the Master and Palpatine is only an apprentice at the time. Like in the Plagueis book, he dreams that they will rule the galaxy together, and Palpatine gets rid of him with Force-lightening. (This paragraph can be seen as a summary for Darth Videtur’s Breaking the Future to His Hand series. It’s her headcanon.)

Obi-Wan pines for Qui-Gon. Unfortunately, the latter is basically straight. He wasn’t that hard-core when he was younger, but his relationship with his Master which was full of unexplained sexual tension ruined it. He has been a lady’s man since then. He and Tahl had been dancing delicately around each other since they had known each other. Tahl died, of course. Qui-Gon treats Xanatos like a son he has never had but raising him in the Jedi way just makes it worse. Xanatos’ betrayal breaks him. He knows Obi-Wan has a thing for him but pretends he never sees it. Qui-Gon has a unique way of hurting those he cares most. He never realizes it. Not before he dies.

Pansexual Obi-Wan leaves a trail of ex-girlfriends/boyfriends/animal friends and unrequited love affairs. Some of his lovers are dead. And those relationships happen to be the ones he treats more seriously. He sees Anakin as a son and when his padawan grows older, a brother. He appreciates Anakin’s striking beauty, talent and vigor. If the young man courts him after he’s knighted, Obi-Wan won’t say no. He treats intimate relationships like a Jedi that even many of his fellow Jedi can’t understand. He finds that Anakin falls head of heels for the ex-Queen of Naboo and decides to respect Anakin’s choice so he never mentions it to others. He thought that Anakin was straight. Obi-Wan gets into a non-working relationship with Cody. 80% friend-with-benefits, 20% something else. Cody is gonna made a move for Obi-Wan when Order 66 happens.

No matter what Obi-Wan thinks, Anakin is not that straight, and he never thinks Obi-Wan as his brother, only a father figure, teacher and friend. He is attracted to Naboos. Like a duck reckons the first thing it sees as its mother, Anakin is greatly influenced by the Naboos he encounters. His crush for Padme should have stayed as it is, a crush, but it’s not. It’s been smothered for too long and becomes an obsession. Anakin also falls for Palpatine. His day-to-day life in the Temple and relationship with Obi-wan(the mixed working and family relationship), the entertaining and relaxing out-of-Temple time with Palpatine(friendship), and his imaginary romantic relationship with a girl he hasn’t seen in 10 years were the three fulcra for his life as a padawan. He opresses two of them – for the Jedi can never know about it – and the third one just grows and draws some elements from the other two. Thus his secret pining for Palpatine. Besides, he thinks Palpation is as Force-sensitive as a brick so his mind can run freely when they are together...(Thanks to Not in His Plan I got on this ship...)

When Anakin meets Tarkin in TCW, they become good friends. He starts to doubt many things. And Palpatine and Tarkin being old friends doesn’t help in quietening those doubts.

Ahsoka and Barris come together and end up in a relationship after Order 66. Barris was bitter about Ahsoka before the Temple bombing incident. (This headcanon is taken straight out of the prequel story of Out of the Dark Valley.)

The Empire replaces the Republic. Tarkin and Vader are the infamous Imperial terror duo. Their friendship remains. Vader soon discovers that Anakin Skywalker’s estimation of Tarkin’s private life is totally wrong. Tarkin is no celibate middle-aged work-driven gentleman. He’s been popular since his school days. He conquers women, men – all humans of course – but stays single. The relationship is never long. Years passes, and Vader discovers that he is the only one aware of this.

Palpatine’s propaganda advocates that working hard day and night is the only way to gain power, money and respect. Vader, Tarkin and he himself are the poster boys – look at us, single, rich and powerful and you all should WORK HARD AND PRAISE OUR NEW ORDER~~ Sate Pestage has been pining for him for decades. He has known him since the Emperor was an ambitious and handsome red-head Naboo noble. His devotion to Palps never wavered even if the other man has changed greatly. Palpatine knows that, of course. He keeps manipulating him without guilt.

Rumor mills run high that Grand Admiral Thrawn has a thing for the ysalamiris he keeps around. The ysalamiris are on his command chair, in his bedroom, under his sheets, anywhere he goes. It started in the joke mills. Some lowly officers’ drunk words. It evolves quickly and the originators quit the job and run to hide under some stones in the Wild Space or the Unknown Region after they discovered what they had done.

(This one starts basically as an AU of Rococo and takes many critical events off Out of the Dark Valley in later plots) Leia offers to marry Tarkin in exchange for the survival of Alderaan. Tarkin agrees, but he also states that the Death Star will stay in orbit around the planet before the wedding is complete. The wedding is held three days later. Bail has informed the Alliance to move the base off Yavin IV and in no condition should they contact Alderaan again. The day after the wedding, Tarkin takes Leia back to the Death Star and asks her to contact his father to disarm any form of planetary defense and give up the location of the Alliance’s base. Leia wants to negotiate. She tells Tarkin that the Alliance has changed its base and they don’t know where. Tarkin smirks and tells the operator to fire when ready. Leia nearly gets onto her knees. She asks if there’s any way that he will leave Alderaan alone. Tarkin says there’s none. Seconds later, Alderaan is gone.

Things of the fic Sedition happens. Tarkin and Vader’s relationship is getting even weirder.

Leia tries to assassinate Tarkin countless times but to no avail. Rumours spread around the Alliance that Leia is now an Imperial. Tarkin told Leia about the history of the Republic from another angle. Leia’s worldview has changed but she doesn’t want to believe it. In her heart she knows she is more an Imperial than she would like to be. Anyway, this won’t affect her plans for revenging Alderaan. Once an Alliance assassin comes to kill her, for Alliance comes across serious setbacks which is actually the spies in their own base’s doing but blames it on Leia. Leia is in another attempt of assassining Tarkin and she nearly succeeds before the Alliance assassin ruins it. The poor man is Force-choked by Leia in her rage and Tarkin finishes the job with a shot. Tarkin is intrigued that Leia is Force-sensitive. He tells Vader about it. Vader is in need of an apprentice. Leia has other plans and she does need training.

Vader has been searching for his son Luke Skywalker at the time. He doesn’t get Luke. He does get Obi-Wan. He uses some Force-illusions to convince the stormtroopers that in his fight with his old Jedi Master, the old man vanishes into thin air and becomes a Force ghost. That’s not the truth. The truth is that he betters Obi-Wan in combat and secretly imprisons him. He actually has no plan to kill his old teacher even if he’s been fantasizing it since Mustafar. And Obi-Wan tells Vader that there’s one secret that no one knows now except him. Vader knows it’s true and he also knows torturing is no use and he can’t get into the other man’s head without killing him. Obi-Wan stays on the Executor as Vader’s secret prisoner.

Luke and Han Solo are Alliance’s last hope. They make trouble all around the Empire. Palpatine knows that Vader is looking for Luke. He just sits comfortably in his throne far away in Coruscant and watches with popcorns in one hand and a goblet of Naboo blossom wine in another.

Han and Luke gets in one Imperial gala in disguise as some alien species. They find Leia. Luke says that he and Han don’t believe the girl he saw in R2-D2’s holo projection will take the Empire’s side, and they are smuggling her out. Leia refuses to go with them. Against her better judgement, she admits that she is learning from Darth Vader so she could kill Tarkin one day and even the Emperor himself. She doesn’t say she wants to kill Vader because she learns that for all the closeness between Vader and Tarkin, the Dark Lord actually hates the Death Star. Besides, she knows that without Vader’s help, she can’t take out Palpatine.

Luke is pissed. He tells Leia that Vader kills his father. They don’t notice in their heated discussion the said Dark Lord silently comes.

“I am your father!”

“NOOOOOOOOO!”

Han is made into a wall decorator, because he sees something in Solo’s eyes when he looks at his son, and he DOESN’T LIKE IT. Vader then gifts him to Thrawn as a return of favor – he has promised the Chiss one day he would get him some unique art that he has never seen. He doesn’t care if the Grand Admiral appreciates his dark humor.

At some point Vader has moved Obi-Wan to Tarkin’s flagship, Executress. He can’t risk Palpatine’s inspection. Tarkin seldom stays on his flagship any more. He spends most of his time on the Death Star. Luke is put into the cell next to Obi-Wan. Vader wants to know if these two old acquaitances get together, Obi-Wan might loose his tongue.

Luke expresses his frustration at Han being taken and his anger for Leia refusing to come with them which led to their capture. He also confesses Princess Leia looks fantastic in person and is the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen blahblahblha. Obi-Wan doesn’t expect that, and in a hurry he tells Luke that Leia’s his twin sister. Both Tarkin and Vader got the video feeds. Vader is too stunned to think of anything else, while Tarkin comes to the most bizzare realization of his life that he just sleeps with both father and daughter.

--The End—

Well, Tarkin might be considering eliminating Palpatine along with Coruscant by using the Death Star. I think Leia and Vader have to convince him otherwise. They might need to kill him idk. Thrawn hasn’t decided what he is gonna do about the Death Star. It’s both a threat and a unique weapon. He might decide to use it just once against the lurking unknown threat. With his passive-aggressive way against the Alliance, the latter survives longer.