#but now that i switched to posting 2x a day i feel so much better!! the posts after angel ages up is when i start to feel free again

[matchalovertrait]

Flower Day at the Fyres Home ❁

[trivia-bangtan]

after (jjk) - 005

pairing: patient!oc x patient!jungkook

genre: friends to lovers au, kinda a hazel and gus trope, | lots of angst, fluff and suggestive themes

warning: this chapter gets extremely dark 😭 (nothing new lol)

authors note: omfg im so sorry it’s taken me so long to post 😩 the schedule might change from now on bc my schedule changed 😅 but hope u guys enjoy it 😩😩

there's a phobia called agoraphobia. it’s basically the fear of places and situations that can cause panic, helplessness and/or embarrassment. usually, i can deal with it. but things like cringe worthy scenes and overly cheesy romance is unavoidable.

especially being friends with jeon jungkook.

i knew better than to hand out my phone number to just anyone, but i thought maybe jungkook would be so busy with his own life, he would leave me alone.

for his parents' sake, i hope he had unlimited talk and text for his plan. the boy texted me first thing in the morning and every hour or so. he would call me at night, sometimes even facetime me, just before he went to bed. and even when we would hang up, he would still text me goodnight.

the only other person i would talk to everyday, other than my parents, is hoseok. hoseok was my older cousin, but one of my closest friends as well. but even hoseok gave a break during the day to allow some “me time” for the both of us.

jungkook was relentless. he would always text me “good morning sunshine” and then text me “good night my moon”. what the hell even was that?

as much as it was annoying, it was endearing in a sense. i guess it was nice to have someone other than family constantly checking up on me. but some part of me couldn’t help but wonder if it was because of what namjoon had said and if he felt obligated to have to talk to me.

i knew jungkook wasn’t like that. but a small part of me couldn’t help but convince myself that it could be true.

“so the guy texts you all the time? it’s not a big deal,” hoseok said, sitting across the island in his kitchen. i stuck my fork into my bowl of fruit, impaling a small blueberry in the process.

“i mean, it’s not but it’s weird. hobi, i’ve never had someone crave to talk to me so often. and i swear it has to be because of what our counselor said,” i mumble.

the thing about hoseok is he has an aura that gets you to spill all emotions. much like jungkook. but the difference between the two of them in my life is that i’ve known hoseok a lot longer and can confirm he can keep his mouth shut.

“well contrary to your belief, you’re a decent person to have around,” he shrugs, giving a strawberry in his mouth. i snort at his comment and roll my eyes.

“wow, what a compliment. it’s a wonder you’re single,” i chuckle, shoveling the fork full of blueberries into my mouth.

“i’m single by choice. what about you?” hoseok smirks, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” i asked, laughing at his expression.

“what?”

“the whole thing?” i respond, laying my fork down onto the counter, leaning onto it with my elbows, forearms flat as i folded my hands.

“i’m single because i choose to be. i prefer comforting solitude than forced company,” he shrugs, continuing to shovel fruit into his mouth.

“forced company?” i ask.

“yeah. like, just because we’re together, they feel obligated to HAVE to hang out with me or invite me everywhere when, in reality, i don’t give a damn. i mean, you know me. we both value our solitude and respect that. but it’s hard to find someone that understands that. and then i’m the bad guy for wanting alone time when really, it’s a mental health break,” hoseok explains, his eyes locked onto the bowl in front of him.

his statement surprised me. he was always such a people oriented person. as kids, he was the first to make friends between us and always such an extrovert. it kind of hurt to know eventually his whole personality switched. but maybe being so wrapped up in my world and in my own issues, i failed to acknowledge the people around me.

the atmosphere changed after that. almost as if there was a sad reminisce in the air.

“do you think you’re forced to keep me company?” i blurted. i couldn’t deny, the thought crossed my mind multiple times before. was everyone around me just babysitting to make sure i didn’t hurt myself?

i couldn’t tell. i knew asking would be dumb. hoseok would never tell me the truth. he’s usually a pretty blunt and up front guy, but he would never outright hurt my feelings. which saddened me even more. would he willingly lie to comfort me? knowing what i knew?

“do you think i am?”

“yeah,” i honestly admitted. we both sat in silence, taking in my answer.

it wasn’t a lie. like i said, the thought had crossed my mind. every time he placed his phone down on the table to force himself to give me his attention. the way he seemingly dropped everything immediately if i asked him to hang out with me or pick me up some place. how i never heard of him being with friends.

the more i sat there, the more i threw myself into overdrive, thinking until my head started to pound from overthinking.

“well, you’re wrong,” he sighed. my eyes flitted up to gaze at his face. he looked sullen, almost like my answer had upset him. i released a silent huff through my nose, smirking in the process.

“you don’t have to protect me,” i murmured quietly.

“my mom called me. she begged me to come home one day. i didn’t understand it at first, but she's my mom. i did as i was told. when i got home, she didn’t say anything, just told me to get in the car. i remember thinking to myself ‘what’s got her feeling this way? why is she being ominous with her actions?’ the whole drive, she said nothing,” hoseok said, a distant look in his eyes.

“she ended up pulling over at some park. it was late, so i didn’t recognize it at first. but then i realized what park it was. it was the park we went to as kids. and, again, i kept wondering to myself why she was being enigmatic with her actions. and then she spoke. she said six words and then didn’t speak the rest of the week,” he said, his voice shaken with sadness.

“what did she say?” i asked softly, my voice a mere whisper. hoseok looked up at me, his eyes glazed red.

“your cousin tried to kill herself.”

i felt like the air had come out of my lungs.

it’s funny, people like to talk about your attempts, but nobody ever tells you where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. nobody tells you the pain they feel or the hurt. the anger or the betrayal. they pretend like what they felt didn’t happen to convince themselves it wasn’t real and they could move on. because it didn’t work and you’re alive.

but hearing hoseok tell me about his experience, it stirred something in my heart and i hadn’t felt in a long time.

regret.

“she didn’t even mention if you survived or if you were okay. that’s all she said. and because she was crying, i assumed the worst. i had assumed you died. and it felt like everything in me… stopped working. like, i forgot what it was like to not have you by my side. every… every memory, every laugh. every inside joke. it was like a corny ass film playing at 2x speed in front of me. my mind kept telling itself this can’t be real. she wouldn’t do that to me’. but the longer we sat there and the harder she cried, i couldn’t take it. i jumped out of the car and just started running. i didn’t know where i was going but i just had to run because the car was so suffocating, i thought i was gonna pass out. and i kept asking myself ‘why her? why couldn’t she just talk to me? why didn’t she tell me she was hurting? does she know how much i love her and that i would do anything to keep her here?’ and then i was pissed because i thought you had abandoned me. that you didn’t care about me or your parents or my mom. but then… once i stopped running… i felt bad for you. because i could never imagine the amount of loneliness you must’ve felt thinking the only way to solve this was to end it all,” he said through his compendious recount of that night. i could feel the hurt and regret make its rounds in my heart, forcing my body to follow. it physically ached to hear hobi recall every moment of that night. “i’m sorry,” i cried out, crying into my hands.

“that’s why i hang out with you. that’s why i talk to you. because i don’t want you to feel that kind of loneliness ever again,” he admitted, sniffling. the hurt and regret only further festered and made me cry over hard to the point where i felt like i couldn’t breathe. hoseok stood from his spot, making his way around the island. he stood in front of me, pulling me into his chest, my arms wrapping around his waist. i hadn’t hugged anyone in years, and the amount of care and love hoseok had emitted through his hug made me cry even more.

“and that’s why i’m so glad you have jungkook. because when i can’t be there, at least he is,” he explained, rubbing small circles in my back.

though my doubt was still heavy, and i felt as if he had an ulterior motive, hoseok’s words comforted me in a way.

jungkook had been nothing but kind, never intrusive or inquisitive about my history or my feelings. he spoke to me because he wanted me to know that he cared.

and for the first time in forever, i felt something else too.

hope.

[beecherdrysdale]

Hiii my bbs, I hope you are well. Get ready for a longgg post.

Some opening thoughts:

Brigid and I will be buying new chains for our boys. Esp for Quinner because he doesn’t have one and I want to start seeing this 🥵 look. Kesh care to join us?

- a baby that looks like Jamie and has his cute freckles. Brigid knows what I’m taking about.

Also brigid would like like Jamie’s beanie vv much so now we both are in that club because I have quinners and Brigid has Jamie’s.

- Mykonos is gorgeous. That is that.

- I am loving Brigid tracing Jamie’s freckles while he sleeps🥺 and I find it adorable that Brigid can only sleep with Jamie :)this would so be insta worthy photos.

- hehe yes to getting beeped by machines!! Okkk I’m glad, so Lexi is busy with Quinner means that we are just getting coffeeee. We aren’t like you and Jamie who make out in arenas.

- hehe Jamie would just be glaring at cozzy when he sits down, and cozzy becomes slightly terrified so he gives up the seat but still wants $50 because he wants to buy himself something on the flight. He goes to sit w his sleeping buddy devon. Kesh and Kirby are just to cool to deal with our crazy shit in the morning.

-no sore neck for Dylan. Thank you brigid. Yes to all of these soft moments. Playing with each other’s hair, the freckle tracing and the slightly heated make out that you would be having while Dylan is sleeping because I don’t think he could handle that lol. Another thought jamie just helping you fidget less because you keep hitting the back of Bowen’s seat and he’s sleeping.

- Kesh and Kirby are like the star couple, they are just perfect with each other. I understand why you wouldn’t want to know us esp when quinton Braden and Peyton start to throw snacks over the seats.

-honestly if I had that much coffee I would probably throw up, but kudos to Quinner for passing out after consuming all of that. I want freckles kisses but also I would play with jacks rope bracelets and w his hair 🥺. You would probably get really annoyed because of my leg tapping so Quinner also needs to calm that down as well.

- me slapping Ryan to wake up is just vv funny to me. Yess to them admiring our hair . Whenever I travel to warm places my skin always clears uppp so it’s nice.

-yay we are all sharing rooms w our bbs. hey hey

hey I’m not that dirty minded but like how can you resist? I don’t wanna hear to much from the two of you I mean it 😏. Omg I just had an idea imagine everybody just running into each other’s rooms and chasing each other. I hope we don’t walk in on you two lol. And we all settle in one room and have a slumber party lol. Face masks w the boys ‘I’m sorry why is it green’ ‘calm down, it’s a cucumber face mask it’ll hydrate your skin’ and then when they take them off the boys are glowing heheh.

- ok so I’ve bought an entire new wardrobe for this trip lol l. Ooo shopping would be vv fun. In this reality we have money hehe. Jamie carrying you into the water is 🤌 and I love it. Me and Quinner still need to be chaotic so we push each other into waves and then Brigid and jamie join. Meanwhile Kesh and Kirby are just chilling. Yesss with the hair slicked back and just wrapping your legs around their waists and maybeeeee kissing.

-finally me and Brigid are on the same team. Like Ryan you hit me in the face brigid will hit you 2x harder. Yess to all of us having moments on the beach at night.

- apparently we had some eventful nights😏 ehich I love even some of the boys because they want to have summer flings so no early morning for us. I love hotel breakfast as well esp if they have a buffet because you can eat as much as you want.

- cliff diving: ofc Brigid and Dylan go first because they are literally not scared of anything. aww you grabbing Jamie’s hand while he’s terrified. While that’s happening me and Ryan are hyping each other up, we slap each other on the backs etc. And we start to run and I get Quinner to come even if he’s terrified. I’d probably yell ‘let’s fucking goooo’ Brigid I’m making you the person that yells Marco the entire time lol cuz you are the swimmer of the group. Hehe us blaming Kesh and Kirby because they couldn’t figure out how to get out of the water. just a thought, wouldn’t it be better if you stay with the boys just in case they have trouble swimming and you can help them. And maybe I can go with Dylan and bond with him a bit. Any way works tho :). Hehe once everybody gets to the beach we are just crawling because we are tired from swimming and we just sleep on the beach lol.

- I’m good with dong half and half- snorkelling and scuba. Awww you holding Jamie’s hand and pulling him along. Same with me and Quinner and kesh and Kirby. I was terrified lol . Oo that’s so cool that you got to swim with turtles. That’s great for 8 year old Brigid:)).

Ooo a catamaran is so fun as well. Anyways dylan is just talented at everything. So he plays guitar and maybe he can help me reawaken my guitar skills. So I just watch him lol. Finally somebody who doesn’t make fun of me listening to the mamma Mia sound track. I love it sm and it just gives off the biggest Greece vibes. Aww and all of us just singing softly. And then just cuddling with the boys in the sun and me taking a bunch of photos! Aloe Vera it is😏😏.

Side story: so brigid you are playing music on the speakers while we are on the boat and Jamie goes to change the song and sees that there is an adorable photo of you and him as your wallpaper and he asks ‘you have me as your lock screen’ and you blush and say yes and he gives you the biggest kiss and then the rest of the boys are like awwww and all compare lock screens. And then Quinner looks at mine and smiles same w Kirby.

Yayyy us dressing cute all of hair is in natural waves/curls and getting dinner at a cute restaurant. and then exploring the nightlife in Mykonos. Ooo the drinks are a plus to us being chaotic at night. Like we would laugh so much at night. Awww kisses under the moon and then backkkk to the hotel for spicy evening pt 2

Side note: so imagine we already had dinner and we just start exploring Mykonos and we come across a live band playing outside and Jamie sees people dancing and then asks you to dance:) and you ofc agree and you just have the most intimate slow dance 🥺 and you just stare into his eyes and then tuck your face into his neck. Kirby also sees and asks kesh to dance and they are just admiring each other. And then Quinner sees me pouting and crying over you two and asks me to dance as well and we also slow dance. The rest of boys also find some ladies to dance with.

Next day: we decide to explore Mykonos like going to see the ruins and historical sights. So we all set off in the morning. Since Greece has a lot of alleys and stairs everyone some of us ( me and Ryan I fall down the stairs sm ) accidentally fall down the stairs ‘oh for fucks sake why do I always have to fall’ ‘what about me Lexi?’ ‘ you’re a hockey player you fall all the time anyway’ so we just bicker and you guys laugh and Quinner helps me up. ‘Hey Brigid we heard you and Jamie last night’ ‘shut up Cole we saw that girl sneak out of your room lol’ so everyone is just chirping each other the entire time. We get to the historic sights and we are all in awe and take a bunch of photos. Then we go get lunch and just chill. After that we all return to the hotel in the evening and we all get dinner. All in all I am loving this trip. It’s just so great.

Also I realized that pro tennis players go there during off season and so if I see one of them I will totally ask for a photo and go play tennis with them one afternoon. ‘Omg guys Serena William is hereeee’ and I just run off lol.

- another part might be happening but I might start with our Europe tripppppppp.

Ly thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy 🥺.

omgggg all of this is fucking amazing!! i love all of it, and ofc you guys lexi and kesh💕 anyways longggg post ahead

ok so first some random thoughts

ok so first of all new chains for the boyssss. quinner needs to start wearing one for lexi asap, and kesh and i are getting new ones for kirby and jamie. tbh they’re just as much gifts for us as for them lol

omg yessss i want a bb jamie. and his freckles 🥺🥺 i’m sorry this child is going to be so pale tho

hehe all of us out here stealing beanies. jamie’s beanie just looks so soft and i want to wear and then i can play with his hair better when he’s not wearing it too lol. and ofc lexi gets credit for starting this trend with quinner 

ok moving on to the flight lol

pleaseee i just want to trace jamie’s freckles and play with his hair while he sleeps. and us only being able to sleep with each other 🥰🥺 hehe please someone take pics for us

lmaooo yes lexi is busy GETTING COFFEE with quinner. and no need to bring jamie and i into this lexi, please and thank you

hehe cozzy making jamie give him $50 to switch seats so he can buy food on the flight. it’s ok cozzy isn’t really mad bc he can sleep better by devon anyways, he doesn’t have to deal with dyl and i’s crazy shit. lmaooo love kesh and kirby ignoring us

lol you’re welcome dyl for keeping you comfy, you better be getting me food to pay me back later. and then me and jamie just being soft 🥺🥺 tracing freckles and playing with each others hair. awww just peppering each others faces with kisses and then it somehow turns into a makeout. good thing dyl is asleep so he doesn’t slap one of us lmao. omg yessss jamie holding my hand or putting a hand on my leg so i’ll stop fidgeting the whole time so bo can sleep lol

awww yes kesh and kirby are adorable together, we love that for them. haha honestly same, i can see why they don’t wanna sit by us

 hehe quinner just has insanely high coffee tolerance, so he’s passed out on the plane lmao. but that gives lexi the perfect opportunity to play with his hair and rope bracelet. hehe he might pretend to still be asleep for a while after he wakes up bc it feels good. and then once he wakes up he kisses your freckles and he just puts a hand on your leg so you’ll stop kicking my chair (ty quinner)

lmaoooo i want to see you slapping ryan awake. and then us looking cute with our curly/wavy hair and our clear skin

ok so first day in greece

all of us get to share rooms with our bbs:) also i said we would try to keep quiet, i don’t know what more you want from jamie and i. i don’t think you and quinner are exactly silent either at night lmao. omg yesss running into each other’s rooms playing hotel tag! hehe i advise if you see a singular piece of clothing on our floor then you leave, bc i keep my room freakishly neat. but anywayssss i would dominate hotel tag, i love that game and i have a lot of practice lol

omg yes slumber party!! we can watch movies and stuff together and make the guys do face masks lmao. ‘why is it green’ ‘wait mine’s grey’ ‘i don’t want this shit on my skin’ ‘guys just put them on, it’ll be good for you’ omg yessss when we take them off they’re just glowing, love that for them

hehe all of us girls going shopping together to get cute new clothes bc guess what? we have moneyyyyy. and all the guys are just like where did they go

hehe yes jamie carrying me and then quinner and lexi pushing each other in behind us lol. but then ofc jamie and i join bc we’re (read: i’m) overly competitive. and kesh and kirby just chilling on the beach lol. and then i loveeee moments in the water, just like the slicked back hair and wrapping legs around waists and definitely maybe kissing

hehe yes lexi and i are the dream team. ryan i will beat you tf up if i have to lol. awww and cute moments on the beach at night 🥰

next dayyyy

hehe late breakfast bc we had eventful nights and don’t wanna get up early. and then i’m eating sm at the buffet lol and the guys are just like how? bc i’m just a very hungry person in general lol

hehe ok cliff diving: obvi me and dyl first bc we’re the daredevils, but i also pull jamie with us bc i don’t want to leave my bb behind. and then you and ryan hype each other up and you guys come next but then you pull quinner with you too, bc you don’t want to leave him behind. hehe i’m not being marco the whole time sorry, whoever gets tagged becomes marco. hehe and then once we’re ready to get out we blame kesh and kirby that we don’t know how lol ‘wow thanks mom and dad, how helpful’ jk we still love you kesh!! honestly i’m down to either, stay with the guys in the water or climb up, i did do rock climbing for a couple years tho so idk if that makes a difference. but then also they probably need help swimming and you want to bond with dyl, so honestly up to you:) 

snorkeling and scuba diving - all of us holding hands with our bfs and swimming with them🥺 hehe yes little brigid was really just living a wild life lol. anywaysss then we’re back on the catamaran and dyl’s just playing music and then we give lexi a turn and she’s surprisingly good for having not played in so long. and then singing mama mia is so fun! and just hanging out on the boat in general and having fun and cuddling with our boys. and then ofc we have to use aloe vera lol

hehe yess i have aux on the boat, but at some point i just ask jamie to go change the song and he knows my password, but i forgot he doesn’t know i changed my wallpaper. so then he’s sees the pic of us cuddling together in the airport and he’s just like ‘i’m your wallpaper’ and i just blush and go ‘well, yeah’ and he just comes over and hugs me and gives me a kiss. so then everyone’s comparing wallpapers lol, and so quinner and kirby are vv happy when they see lexi and kesh’s

yesss all of us looking cute and exploring mykonos nightlife. haha everyone’s at least a little tipsy bc it’s super easy to get drinks there. hehe all of us super loud and laughing and stuff, love that. and then moonlight kisses🥰 

awww yes, we’re exploring and we see a live band so jamie asks me to dance. and i blush but ofc i say yes, so we’re just having the softest most intimate slow dance🥺 staring into each other’s eyes at first, but then i tuck my face into his chest bc i get nervous with eye contact. and then ofc kirby has to ask kesh bc they’re #couplegoals and they’re just admiring each other while they dance. and quinner isn’t the best with social cues so he doesn’t pick up on it right away, but then he sees you’re sad and asks you to dance with him and then you two are adorable together. and the other guys ask some girls to dance, and guess who ends up coming back to the hotel with us that night lmao

next dayyyyy

oooh yes going to see the greek ruins, and there are a tonnn of alleys and stairs and stuff. so ofc you and ryan fall down them (and i by some miracle don’t). hehe you: ‘why tf am i always falling?’ him: ‘what about me tho lexi?’ you: ‘you’re a hockey player, it’s kind of in your job description’ and you guys keep fighting lmao, but ofc quinner helps you up 😍

and the chirpssss that would be going on all day lmaoooo ‘hey brigid, we heard you and jamie last night’ ‘oh fuck off, i saw a different girl come out of your room this morning cole. what are you doing, trying to go through every girl in mykonos by the time we leave?’

and then ofc sightseeing and taking lots of insta photos, and then we all go to get lunch together. imagine the people who have to serve our table, i feel sorry for them lol. and then we could just go back to the beach or smtg before dinner and then back to the hotel 😏

final thoughts

at some point lexi sees a really good tennis player and goes to get her picture taken and see if she can practice with them, and kesh and i being the good friends that we are chase after her to take the pictures lol. hehe and then lexi abandons us to go play tennis with them for the afternoon

ugggh this was amazing and i love it, i’m excited for another part of europe, i’m down with either bc both would be amazing

ly too 🥰 it was amazing, i was so happy to read it

[dietraumerei]

PLEASE tell me more about solo bike-camping (especially as a fellow nb person). How far do you travel when doing it? Where's your favourite place you've been? What sort of things should you bear in mind when doing it? (sorry for all the questions but I'm so interested! I am thinking of trying it but I'm very nervous about planning)

OH FUCK YEAH! I’m doing another U24H camp-out next Friday, so this is super near my heart :D

In order:

Mostly around 20 miles away, although a lot of that has to do with where I live, in that there’s good campsites within that radius, but I’m hoping to branch out as I get better at long-distance cycling. (Right now I might be ok with like 40 miles a day, but that still puts some stuff out of reach, and I’m not *hyper* ambitious. I also do not like going up hills at the best of times, and definitely not when my bike is loaded with gear.) Right now I’m only doing overnights, but would consider much longer multi-night trips once it’s safe to have someone feed the cats.

There’s a state park about 20ish miles away that I am hopelessly in love with. The hiker-biker sites are off on their own in a beautiful patch of cedar forest, there’s some shoreline but not much else to do, and it is so easy to be restful. I love it, and can’t wait to get back there. The golden hour is breathtakingly magical; I’ll post some photos when I’ve go this posted.

(I really, really, really love wild camping/backwoods camping, but haven’t found a good place to dig in and do that here just yet. Again, something that will be a thing when I move out of the Seattle area and/or start to range further. I miss wild camping a lot, actually.)

Stuff to bear in mind:

Specifically about being nb -- I haven’t had any problems, but I also live in a very blue area of the country, and camp in pretty blue areas. I can pass for cis, especially in a bike helmet and mask, maybe that helps? Or just generally people are chill. I’m still planning to camp in, like, Montana someday, but I’m cognizant that there is a Thing inherent in my buzzed hair and big frame.

Buy or borrow the absolute best gear you can afford. It’s worth it; I finally broke down and bought an eye-wateringly expensive mattress, but it folds up teeny-tiny and blows up like 3″ thick and it’s so warm and comfy and I sleep so, so much better. I can camp 3 seasons a year now, with this thing. WORTH IT. I also bought a really nice tent specifically designed for bikepacking, and suddenly I want to camp so much more. Gear makes a difference, and you’re worth it.

THAT SAID. The best gear set-up is the one you have. It’s super easy to fall down the gear black hole, and I have definitely put a crazy amount of money into bags and gear and stuff, but don’t feel like you HAVE to buy front-wheel panniers because everyone says you should front-load your weight. What you have will get you started, and get you a good long ways too.

Planning-wise, there’s a local cyclist who posted a whole bunch of awesome places to bike-camp around here, and that’s what got me started. Maybe some judicious googling? I spend a lot of time with Google Maps too, to get a feel for roads and things, even before I get started. It’s totally possible to virtually ride a route and see if you feel safe about it before you go.

Safety-wise, I dunno. Wear a helmet, padded shorts are your friends, bring 2x as much water as you think you might drink. I bring stuff to do simple repairs, like patching a flat. I don’t really bother when I’m going to a real campsite, but if I go wild-camping I leave a deadman’s switch -- basically leaving a copy of my route with a friend, and a check-in time, so if I miss the check-in they know something’s up. (I also either keep my phone on or make sure to turn it on a few times a day to ping a satellite with my locaion.)

I super recommend getting up with WTF Bike Explorers cos they have awesome resources for womxn/trans/femme cyclists no matter what you’re interested in. (Although now I really want to get into gravel riding because of them!

ALSO! They are Seattle-based, but Swift Industries Campout is an annual utterly awesome event with global reach, absolutely consider signing up to camp out this autumn equinox! They’re also running a series of articles that walk you through your first bike-camping, I think you’ll love them. They are deeply, deeply awesome people who I cannot say enough good about.

[nordic-language-love]

Norwegian

Read 16x chapters Odinsbarn (2x aloud)

Watched 6x Kveldsnytt broadcasts

Watched 2x Mummidalen episodes

Watched 1x Nytt På Nytt episode

Written task: wrote 300 words about body image

Wrote 1x journal entry

Listened to 1x Norsken, Svensken og Dansken podcast

Speaking practice: talked about my neighbour and training

Duolingo: increased skills Verb Review, Exercise and Health to level 3

Norwegian

I finally managed to get out another written task this week! It didn’t take me too long, and I didn’t use a dictionary too much. One word that I keep forgetting and have to look up all the time is holdning! It means attitude. I know it when I see it, but it refuses to stay in my active vocab. I’ve written a load of sample sentences now, so hopefully that’ll help.

My book is starting to pick up the pace, so I predict I’ll be spending a lot of time reading that this coming week. Maybe I can finish it by the end of the week? That might be a little ambitious given I’m only about 30% of the way through it right now, but we’ll see. Maybe I can aim to finish it by the end of the month. I’ve been taking note of vocabulary here and there (mostly words I find interesting or expressions I like) but I’m mostly just trying to read it through.

Listening’s been up and down this week. At times it was great, I understood everything and was like “omg am I approaching C1 now??” Other times it was like “how dare I even call myself intermediate”. Well, there was a time where I wouldn’t have even dreamt of being anywhere near C1, so I guess thinking that perhaps it’s not a million miles away is progress.

Other Languages

I actually did a smidge of Finnish and Icelandic this week. Not a lot - just a handful of Duolingo lessons and listening to the radio. I think I still want to focus largely on Norwegian. Yesterday I was feeling really down because I’m seeing everyone make such good progress at the moment and I just feel like I’m not. Which isn’t true, of course, but it’s hard to see your progress when you’re intermediate. Besides, it’s not a competition and my progress isn’t meaningless just because other people are progressing faster than me. Sure, other people might get there faster, but that doesn’t mean I’ll never get there (even though it feels like it sometimes).

(Also you really can’t compare progress on social media bc like you have no idea how long that 5-line post took someone to write or if they got it corrected by a native before they posted or how much they needed to use a dictionary. That’s partially why I’m keeping this log - so that I can be honest with myself and see how much progress I’ve really made.)

If you’ve been reading my blog you’ll know I dabbled a little in Japanese too. I ended up quite enjoying the challenge of learning kana, and my 1-day indulgence turned into more of a 1-week indulgence. I probably won’t continue it for now (because I want to focus on Norwegian), but it's good to know that actually, if I really wanted to, I could learn the writing system. Who knows, I might pick it up in the future, but I couldn’t do it alongside Finnish and Icelandic as well, so I’d have to decide which ones to study.

Productivity grid:

Yeah, I switched it up a little this week. I’ll probably switch it around again once I figure out what I’m doing regarding other languages. I also really need to get back into stretching properly - I always feel so much better when I do it and yet I struggle to get started for some reason lol.

[eri-blogs-life]

So, I finally beat Final Fantasy XII for the first time. And now I shall summarize my thoughts about it, in a nearly 2000 word post.

First off, my history with this game. I bought Dragon Quest 8 when I was a kid, and that game included a demo disk for FFXII which I played a ton. I eventually was able to purchase a copy of FFXII for myself, back on the PS2. It formed part of a trifecta of big JRPGs that kinda defined the middle school era of my life - Final Fantasy XII, Dragon Quest 8, and Tales of Symphonia.

But I never did beat it back in the day. The farthest I remember getting was some big tower in the sea, which I have now in retrospect found out is the penultimate dungeon. So I was damn close when I was a kid, but never quite did finish it up totally.

I came back to it from time to time, starting up new save files and trying to push my way through to see the whole game. But it was only now, on this attempt on the Switch version of the game (the Zodiac Age version of the game) that I have finally seen the ending cutscene. To be fair, there’s a bunch of optional content like most of the espers that I never quite did get around to doing, so it’s arguable if I’ve really fully completed the game, but it’s a long experience, so eventually I settled on just pushing through the final fight so I could consider it done for now. I might come back to my save just before the final dungeon to “complete” the game some day, but not today. (I was using the 2x speed mode for most of the game, and I still have about 55 hours of playtime)

I’m gonna break down my thoughts into a few big sections here. Lets talk story first, then characters, then aesthetics, then gameplay, and then we’ll wrap it up towards the end of this very long post.

FFXII’s story is... fine, I’d say. It feels kinda... erratic at times, throwing you into some situations without really feeling like there’s much justification for that to be a part of the greater story, even if each scenario does have some small way to play into the greater story.

But I can certainly appreciate what the story seems to be inspired by. I can’t really say for certain if FFXII is meant to be a metaphor for the war in the middle east, but damn if it doesn’t feel like that’s the intended goal. The Archadian Empire really does feel like America in a lot of ways, being a “democratic” political system led by a powerful lineage who just always happens to end up in the throne for some reason, having a group of senators who serve as council and support for the emporer, but during the war the emporer claiming full command over the military. It’s not necessarily a perfect comparison, but at least to me the comparisons overall felt strong enough to at least try and interpret the game through a lens of the american war in the middle east. The game features a struggle for power with immensely powerful weapons, there’s these huge oil fields that draw natural resources up out of the ground, there’s a huge nation on the other side of the territory being claimed that could start a war with the Archadian Empire at any point in time.

And to that end it... is decent, I guess. I mean, I’m playing it so far after the events that would theoretically have inspired a lot of the game’s design, so to a large degree I’m also just looking at the game as it stands on its own and not in the cultural context it may have once held. And it’s fine. The story isn’t necessarily anything special, but it’s fine

I could talk about the big theme of the game, which I read as “should humanity be guided by gods or by our own actions?” But... I don’t know, I don’t think there’s a ton to be said about that. The game seems to posit that sometimes even those who claim to be doing things of their own free will are still doing them under the orders of another? But ultimately making your own decisions is still the best course of action, even if it ... you know what, I don’t know. I’d have to replay the game a few times and really try to process everything the game’s narrative takes on to really have a discussion on this point, so we’re gonna leave it aside for now.

So FFXII’s characters, primarily the main cast of 6 playable characters. They’re a real mixed bag, honestly. I enjoyed them, for the most part. But Vaan and Penelo are.... not great. And Ashe and Fran felt kinda bland to me at times. But Basch and Balthier are amazing.

Vaan is kinda an interesting case. He’s just some kid, a street urchin from our central city of Rabanastre, a citizen of the oppressed Dalmasca but ultimately just a guy. He’s our everyman protagonist who the player is meant to have as something of a vessel to learn about the world from someone not very traveled or well-versed in how this world is shaped. And to that end he holds up okay. But even by the end of the game, Vaan doesn’t stand up to do anything particularly unique that would make the player surrogate really something special. He gains some level of strength and stability, and I guess that does put him on a similar level to many of the other characters in the main cast by the end, but he still just feels kinda out of place, even in the end.

Penelo is like Vaan but she’s also used as a damsel in distress early on in the game. Great!

Ashe, the princess of Dalmasca, is the real main character. The story really revolves around her struggle to reclaim her kingdom, her fight for Dalmasca’s freedom from the Empire, and her decision of whether to destroy the weapons that the Empire holds or get her own weapons to rival theirs. She’s a fine character, though at times I did feel she felt kinda bland. But in a sense that actually works out really well, since she ends up as a better player surrogate than Vaan.

Fran holds some important narrative weight, using her knowledge and her unique position as one of the viera to help drive the story along at a few points and that’s great! But I feel like she kinda takes a back seat a lot of the time, mostly playing a supporting role to Balthier

Basch, the knight of Dalmasca and Lady Ashe’s protector feels like such an interesting character. And part of that is not even his fault, but rather the fact that he has a twin brother who fights for the Empire. And that slaps. Seeing the two of them confront each other at times throughout the story, or seeing how their choices differ but how each could have easily become in the other’s position, feels really strong as a narrative drive.

And Balthier. Oh, Balthier. What’s there to say about Balthier? He plays the Leading Man.

I. Love. Balthier. He’s a suave, charismatic son of a bitch and he plays such a good role in the party, providing transportation and guidance and so much more. As we find out late in the game, he’s actually from Archades, being the son of Doctor Cid, but he abandoned his name and his fame to take to the skies as a sky pirate. His constant insistence that he plays the leading man, that he’s the real center of attention in this story, just holds such a special place in my heart. He’s cocky and it’s so great. (Side note, there’s a lot about Balthier that reads to me as an unintentional trans allegory and I just loved head-canoning Balthier and Fran as this T4T trans man / trans woman couple who left their respective homes and found home in each other. It’s almost definitely not their intended purpose but boy howdy I’m gonna think it anyway cause I’m trans and desperate for something like representation)

Aesthetics. Sound and visuals, basically. FFXII is usually a pleasant game to look at and listen to, in my opinion. The soundtrack is gorgeous (and all up on Spotify~), and has been a part of my listening rotation since I first downloaded a copy of it onto my iPod Classic back in 2009.

The graphics are decent. I mean, it was a PS2 game so I guess they were good for the time? The enhanced Zodiac Age version you can pick up on modern consoles cleans up the models and makes things look overall pretty solid. No real complaints there on my part.

The visual design of the game I absolutely adore. You get these fantastic fantasy environments that, while not feeling visually consistent at all times, really tell of a beautiful world that’s something to behold. And every area you encounter - from each city, to the deserts, to the jungles, to the inside of a giant crystal - feels unique and is fascinating to look at.

And then we get to FFXII’s gameplay. FFXII is definitely an interesting one. The game uses an Active Time Battle system, much like most other Final Fantasy games, but the big unique thing in FFXII is Gambits.

Gambits work basically as programming - you can assign an If->Then statement that your character will follow as their default action if you don’t give them specific commands. So, for example, I could define for Vaan that if there is an enemy nearby with the lowest health among enemies nearby, attack that enemy. And for each character, you can assign 12 gambits that they will follow in priority order, and 3 different sets of 12 gambits each that can be swapped out. It gets wild. It’s an interesting choice of system, which allows for some weird gameplay paths. So, I relied heavily on gambits, setting up rules for how my characters should behave in combat, and mostly relied on them to follow those commands whenever possible, without giving any of my own input on-the-fly to how they should act. Which to me felt fun - I was programming out choices and seeing if they would play out successfully in combat. But the gambit system could easily be very boring for some people, since it does limit what you as the player need to actually provide input for on a moment-to-moment basis.

The other big gameplay thing I wanna touch on is the Hunts, which are one of my favorite aspects of FFXII. A huge, HUGE list of optional bosses to track down and kill? Some of which have unique little quests to take on? Sign me up! Ultimately they’re just a list of side quests you can do, but something about the structure of them as these hunts for unique monsters that lie out there somewhere in the world, that you may sometimes have to complete special objectives to even get them to appear in the first place, has always struck me as really fascinating.

( ^ nice)

So, altogether? Final Fantasy XII is... fine. It’s well put together, but it doesn’t necessarily feel like it has anything too special to stand it apart (except of course for Balthier, my beloved). It’s long, but that length doesn’t necessarily feel like it always translates to game segments that are really necessary. I enjoyed my time with it, but only up to a point. I’m not left craving any more. I enjoyed it for the first couple dozen hours in re-playing it, but eventually it got to a point where I was just so so ready to move on to something new.

[nelliievance]

Getting Started With Biking

I gave some advice about this in a previous post, but that was four years ago and there are some updates, especially about choosing the right bike. There’s been a lot of innovation and growth in the bike industry, so an update is in order.

Traffic Fear:-A major barrier for most people to biking outside is fear of motor vehicle traffic. Understandably so, it’s not comforting to share the road with heavy fast-moving vehicles. If we can’t overcome this barrier, we may as well stick to talking about indoor cycling. But there are ways to get past it:

People feel much safer on paths separated from traffic. If you’re fortunate enough to have those in your area, but don’t have a good route to get to them, you can always chuck your bike in the trunk or on a rack and drive to the start. I had friends who love to ride on our Coyote Creek trail but did not feel safe on the street so would just drive to the start of the trail. That’s a great way to start out. They’ve since moved further north, but if they were still here I’d have tried to also coax them out onto some of the safe pleasant streets of Morgan Hill they were missing out on.

Residential neighborhoods often have quieter traffic because drivers are careful about children that may be playing.

If you’re biking for any other reason other than commuting, it is much better at any other time than morning and evening rush hours. There are fewer vehicles and the drivers are more courteous and relaxed.

If you use bike lanes, and they are not as well thought out as the ones in Amsterdam or Copenhagen, you feel safe except at intersections. The issue of right-turning vehicles is the main one. This is less of an issue in my area because the bike lanes become dotted lines and often turn green, which alert both drivers and cyclists to the situation. Drivers will carefully look for bikes before merging into this turn lane. This is again much better at all times but rush hour, during which there can be aggravated and distracted drivers.

You can map out safe and pleasant routes with your car first and then later use them for bike outings. I feel safe riding on pretty much any road in my town, but some are a lot more pleasant than others. When I ride in our larger and busier neighbor to the north, San Jose, I stick to streets that I know are quieter and/or have well-designed bike lanes.

Choosing the right bike:

There are by now a bewildering amount of choices, and the advent of fairly lightweight electric bikes has added some other new alternatives. It is nice to see all this innovation for bikes geared towards us “regular” folks. Those that want high-end performance bikes have plenty of options, too, but they can find their own way. I want to help guide through the large array of choices for the rest of us. I gave some guidance on basic choices of bike types and comfort issues such as saddle design in a previous post. But there’s been rapid innovation in the four years since I wrote that. I happen to live in the town which has the World Corporate headquarters of Specialized bikes, and my great local bike shop is a Specialized dealer, so I’m a fan of them, so forgive me if I use them more in my examples. There are many worthy competitive brand like Giant, Trek, Cannondale, etc.

As a newcomer looking at comfortable and inexpensive bikes, there are more options. What was originally considered a comfort bike was a hybrid of road and mountain bikes. But now there are “plush” road bikes, such as the Specialized Roubaix, that have more relaxed geometry and work on rougher roads, and there is a new “gravel” bike category of bikes that can handle even rougher terrain. Technology from these bikes is trickling down to lower end bikes.

A good piece of now-mature technology is hydroformed aluminum, which allows lightweight, inexpensive, but attractive aluminum frames to be prevalent. And good quality carbon frames have also come down in price.

A really good piece of tech that is much more prevalent and inexpensive is disk brakes. These have better stopping power, even in the wet, but add little weight. And they allow much wider tires to be used. My Sirrus has 38 mm tires on it, that allow me to go on some seriously rough surfaces, but it still rolls fast enough on the roads so I can keep up on group rides. But just by getting a spare set of narrower road oriented tires, and adding on some inexpensive clip-on aerobars, I could easily make it faster on the road if I wanted to do a time trial. This versatility without breaking the bank is nice, and disk brakes make it possible. You can get a quality lightweight bike with disk brakes and decent components new for about US $800.

Example of an good lightweight inexpensive hybrid bike- Specialized Sirrus 2.0

I mentioned “crank forward” bikes like the Electra Townie in my previous post. These are a great option for beginners, because you can put your feet on the ground without getting off the saddle so it feels more secure. Trek has acquired Electra and has kept this line quite active. There are also many good electric assist versions of Townies now.

By far the biggest change has been the surge in popularity of electric bikes. Manufacturers have also done a great job of smoothly integrating elecric-assistinto the frame design. And now local bike shops will enthusiastically support them. I especially like the advent of more lightweight ebikes like the Specialized “SL” series. These are not as powerful as some of the larger heavier motors, but plenty good enough to do the job. I like the Specialized concept of “2X you”: The lighter weight motors can match your power up to one hundred percent. So when you’re riding it feels suddenly like you’re twice as powerful. These are still not feather-weight Tour de France bikes, but can get down below 30 lbs. total weight for the bike. That’s reasonable to lift onto a bike rack or into a trunk, which many of my local group of older riders routinely do. These bikes allow riders of widely varying abilities to ride together. Some have regular bikes, some have ebikes and use less assist, and some use more assist. The great equalizer. The main problem with these bikes is still price. They’re getting better, so you can get a name brand model starting about US$3000, but that still high for a lot of people. It’s a lot more affordable if you’re using it instead of a car, though.

Support for electric bikes is of major importance, and that is covered nicely if you buy a name brand at a bike shop, they’ll take good care of it for you. It is a reason I would not recommend getting an add-on electric assist kit unless you have someone locally that can work on it or are clever enough to work on the electrics yourself. My electric assist kit served me well for two years, I had fun, and put lots of miles on it. Then I started to have issues, and my local bike shop, and others in the area, did not want to touch it, and I had bought it from someone fifty miles away. I tried fixing it myself and was unsuccessful. An ebike may well be in my future when I need help keeping up, but I’ll only do it when I can get it from a local shop.

Example of the clean look of modern electric bikes. A factory Trek Alliant 8s, left, vs my Trek hybrid with a kit.

I have found a good website with bike information and reviews for various bike categories, which I recommend trying out. This site has good reviews of various bikes, and some nice rider stories.

Comfort Issues

There hasn’t been too much change in this area since my previous post. The most important point is that there is a tradeoff between comfort and speed. A lot of changes to make your position on the bike more aerodynamic also make you more “hunched over”. I’m to the point where upright and comfortable is more important these days, as long as I can keep up on group rides. But electric assist gets rid of this trade-off. You can be as upright as you like, kick in with a little assist, and be just as fast.

And there is always the option of a recumbent. I’d recommend trying out a nice upright setup on a hybrid, including a crank-forward one like the Townie, first. And give your butt a little time to adjust. I got back into biking after a more than 20 year absence when I got arthritis. I’d been an avid rider, then switched to running, then came back. During that 20 years my butt had completely forgotten that it is ok to be on a saddle. I started out with a decent hybrid and comfortable saddle. On my first ride my butt was whining within 5 minutes. I gutted it out for half an hour, and went home demoralized thinking about selling the bike. But I went out the next time and made it 35 minutes. Within about a week it wasn’t so bad, within two weeks I was fine.

I recommend going through this trial because there is a lot of convenience to having a local bike shop for conventional bikes. If you are lucky enough to have a local recumbent dealer that is a fine option too (mine is over sixty miles away).

But I do love my recumbent, too, and am willing to tinker with it myself to have it as an option. They can be a great comfort choice for cruising around on. One other trade off is they are not the best for riding around town. For example, they’re a bit more awkward starting off on than a conventional bike, which is an issue if you have to stop at traffic signals. If I have an errand to run I grab my hybrid, not my recumbent. But for a long cruise, the recumbent calls to me… If you want to learn more about these, here’s a couple of links:

bentrider online

recumbents

There a lot of different configurations with recumbents, starting with the issue of tricycles vs bicycles. For example, there is short wheelbase (with the cranks out in front of the forks, like mine, or long wheelbase. The former take up less room and are easier to store and transport. The book The Recumbent Bicycle by Gunnar Fehlau, is a great overview. It’s a little dated, from 2004, but you can get the latest details from the two sites above. I think you can see why I recommended a local bike shop and uprights first. Unless you have a local recumbent dealer, recumbents are a rabbit hole you can disappear down (or a fascinating hobby, depending on your point of view).

Easy Racer Long Wheelbase recumbent, a classic, comfortable ride. But try putting that in your trunk. (www.Amazon.com/books)

Getting Started With Biking published first on https://steroidsca.tumblr.com/

[runrunningrunner]

Food Changes

So it’s been two weeks since I got my results back from my annual physical showing that I have high cholesterol and high triglycerides, and implementing a total switch up of my overall diet. I wrote a bullet list of things I’d change about a week ago. Here’s a first look at how it’s going.

To be honest, adjusting has gone pretty well; I’m not missing any foods, I’m not going hungry, and I’m not having any withdrawals - largely since I’m not cutting caffeine, just switching what I’m drinking.

A long post, so I’m gonna put it behind a cut (lets hope it works!)

Drinks

I now regularly drink tea instead of coffee and drink the tea black unsweetened, when I mostly drank coffee white and sweetened (thanks to crappy office coffee). I’ve also cut out sodas at lunch and on the weekend. I still have ~2 coffees a week when it’s a quality coffee place where I don’t have to add sugar.

So that’s cut out the sugar from 4-5 sodas a week, and 10 sweetened/whitened coffees a week.

Alcohol - so far I’ve just cut down on servings a lot, but that’s not saying much since we’re mostly only light weekend drinkers. It’s the holidays, so I’m not planning on cutting this out until after the new year. Also I need to do more research on which will be better for me - white wine, red wine, or beer (or which beer).

White rice pasta and bread

Brown rice instead of white rice is an easy substitution. Yes, it takes longer to cook, but I like the consistency more. Whole wheat pasta is meh, but we’ve switched.

I think I’ve had bread twice in two weeks, and made it whole wheat. Haven’t missed it much. The more important change there is that bread is a great vehicle for butter (think grilled cheese, etc.). I’ve cut that out altogether.

Fats and snacks

Haven’t cooked with or used butter in two weeks. For example, this morning I had poached eggs on a thin slice of whole wheat bread instead of fried eggs on buttered white toast. Still eggcellent and tasty, but much more healthy.

I’ve cut out a lot of fats from butter and cheese (see no more grilled cheese above). In fact I’ve only had a small bit of grated cheese on top of some soup 2x in the two weeks.

I’ve had red meat once in the two weeks - ground beef on nachos. Cut out a lot of faves like cheeseburgers. Don’t miss it at all. We’ve had chicken a few times and chicken veggie soups - it’s been good and tasty, and - importantly - filling.

I’ve avoided the vending machine at work and manufactured snacks all two weeks, except for getting 2 Clif Bars when I couldn’t avoid the hunger pangs.

I’ve substituted apples and tangerines and mixed unsalted nuts (easy to carry around too) instead of vending machine snacks. That’s mostly done the trick - having something to hand and not falling prey to the vending machine! Which leads me to talk about ...

Labels Labels Labels!

I’m now really paying attention to the different kinds of fats - Saturated and Trans fats bad for you! Polyunsaturated and Monounsaturated fats OK for you!

Keep an eye out for cholesterol and sodium too!

Exhausting to get into, but I now feel like I can make much better choices when grocery shopping.

Veggies and Fiber

Oh yeah, here it’s been easy to add in more veggies as we’ve cut out trad. carbs like potatoes and pastas. Broccoli and beans and carrots for days!

...

There’s a lot more going on, but that’s enough updating for now. Thanks for reading!!!

[technologyreviewsgadgets]

New Post Vivo X50 Review - More Than The Specs, Better Than You Expect! has been published on https://www.reviewcenter.in/10169/vivo-x50-review/

Vivo X50 Review - More Than The Specs, Better Than You Expect!

Vivo recently launched the new Vivo X50 Series of smartphones. There was the Vivo X50 Pro which is a high-end flagship and the Vivo X50 which offers value for money while not skipping the most essential features. The camera is the USP of the all-new Vivo X50 and the phone surely performs on par expectations. The Vivo X50 base variant with 8GB RAM and 128GB internal storage is priced at ₹ 34,990, while the top variant with 8GB RAM & 256GB storage is priced at ₹ 37,990. I got the base variant with 8GB RAM & 128GB storage and I used it for like almost two weeks till now. Here’s my full review of Vivo X50.

Vivo X50 Review – More Than the Specs, Better Than You Expect!

But before we jump into the actual review, here are the quick specs of Vivo X50.

6.56-inch (2376×1080 pixels) Full HD+ 19.8:9 E3 AMOLED 90Hz HDR10+ (3D curved for X50 Pro) display with 105% NTSC color gamut, 100% DCI-P3 color gamut, up to 1300 nit brightness

Octa-Core (2.2GHz Dual + 1.8GHz Hexa) Snapdragon 730 8nm Mobile Platform with Adreno 618 GPU

8GB LPDDR4X RAM, 128GB (UFS 2.1) / 256GB (UFS 2.1) storage

Android 10 with Funtouch OS 10.5

Dual SIM

48MP rear camera with LED flash, f/1.6 aperture, Sony IMX598 sensor, four-axis OIS, 8MP 120° ultra-wide lens with f/2.2 aperture, 13MP portrait bokeh camera (50mm equivalent) with f/2.48 aperture, 5MP 1.5cm super macro with f/2.48 aperture, 2x optical zoom, 20 digital zoom

32MP front-facing camera with f/2.48 aperture

In-display fingerprint sensor

USB Type-C Audio, Hi-Res audio, 3 microphones for audio zoom

Dual 4G VoLTE, Wi-Fi 802.11 ac (2.4GHz + 5GHz), Bluetooth 5.1, GPS/GLONASS/Beidou, NFC, USB Type-C

4200mAh battery with 33W fast charging

The specs of the phone look impressive on paper, but do they really reflect on the performance of the phone in day to day life? Let’s find out.

Built & Design

Vivo X50 has a glass and metal body with glass on both the front and the back with an aluminum side rail. The phone is quite slim with a thickness of just 7.49mm. The corners maintain a subtle uniform curve. The Vivo X50 feels quite premium to hold and it’s not heavy.

On the front, the Vivo X50 has a 6.56 inch full HD AMOLED panel with 2.5D glass and a punch-hole camera. There’s an in-display fingerprint scanner. On the back, at the top left corner, there is the rectangular camera module that blends well with the overall footprint of the phone. The camera module houses four camera sensors along with an LED flash. On the right side rail there is the power button and volume rockers while on the left edge, there is the SIM card tray. The bottom of the phone houses the USB-C port for charging and data transfer, which is also used for connecting audio devices as there is no headphone jack. Along with the USB-C port, there is the speaker grille.

Display

As mentioned earlier, the Vivo X50 has a 6.56 inch full HD AMOLED panel with 2.5D glass. The display offers a resolution of 1080×2376. The screen-to-body ratio is impressive with 92.8% as there are very slim bezels around the display. The display offers DCI-P3 Color Gamut & HDR10 producing rich & accurate color and a wider dynamic range for video content. The display is bright and vibrant and the sunlight readability is good enough.

As it’s an AMOLED panel, you can be sure that the display will be consuming less power compared to an IPS LCD panel. The display has a refresh rate of 90Hz so that everything feels very smooth and I particularly enjoyed scrolling through Reddit and Twitter on this device. The touch response time is 180ms, so it helps in tasks like gaming. There is an in-display fingerprint scanner that is fast and accurate. Overall, I’m quite pleased with the display on the Vivo X50 with a high refresh rate.

Performance

On paper, the Vivo X50 specs don’t impress everyone, but everyone forgets that this phone is more focussed on photography. However, in real life, the performance is quite good for everyone. The phone is powered by Qualcomm’s mid-range Snapdragon 730G chipset coupled with 8GB of RAM. I used the phone mostly for tasks like browsing the web and social media, emails, streaming music, and video content, and some gaming. During regular tasks, there are no noticeable lags.

Multitasking works like a charm and there are no issues while switching between the already opened apps in the background. The RAM management is quite good with no aggressive behavior killing idle apps in the background. I also played games like PUBG Mobile, Call of Duty Mobile, 8 Ball Pool & Clash Royale. While you can easily get the best kind of performance in games like Clash Royale and 8 Ball Pool, in heavy games like PUBG Mobile or Call of Duty Mobile as well the gameplay experience was satisfactory. During heavy gaming sessions, the phone heats up just a little bit but the temperature range is within the comfort zone.

Camera

Vivo X50 is a camera-centric phone and I was already expecting a lot. Gladly the phone didn’t disappoint me at all. However, Vivo has made quite a different kind of lenses for its X50. There is a primary Sony IMX598 48-megapixel rear camera with an f/1.6 aperture. The primary sensor has got Optical Image Stabilization. Along with that, there are three more lenses- an 8-megapixel 120° ultra-wide lens with f/2.2 aperture, a 13-megapixel portrait lens with f/2.48 aperture and a 5-megapixel 1.5cm super macro with f/2.48 aperture. The Vivo X50 offers a 2x optical zoom and up to 20x digital zoom.

The main camera captures sharp impressive shots in broad daylight. The colors are punchy, saturation levels, and the dynamic range is good. Even in low lighting conditions, the main camera with f/1.6 aperture managed to click some good pictures. The 8-megapixel wide-angle camera captures decent shots. There is a dedicated depth sensor and with it, I experimented a bit and tried to take some shots while the lens is covered and even without that bokeh lens the phone managed to pull off some nicely composed portraits. The macro lens works fine, but it could be a lot better if Vivo could add at least an 8-megapixel lens.

In terms of video, the phone is capable of recording videos at up to 4K at 30 fps and the output is awesome I would say. The combination of OIS and EIS makes it possible for anyone to record videos while holding the phone and walking, without degrading the video quality.

The Vivo X50 offers quite a few camera modes including extreme night vision for super low light photos. This mode helps a lot while taking shots under very low light. There are also a few night filters to enhance photos. There is also a Pro Sports Mode, assisted by Motion Auto Focus which offers quick exposure and shutter speed for taking shots of moving objects for some amazing shots. It’s quite hard to explain everything in writing so here are some camera samples for you. Look and judge yourself.

In terms of selfies, the Vivo X50 comes with a single 32-megapixel punch-hole camera with f/2.48 aperture. The selfie shooter clicks some nice sharp shots with a good amount of detail and the camera also works well in dim environments, making it a good contender against many other phones which offer a good rear camera setup but suck in terms of selfies.

Software

Vivo X50 runs Android 10 out of the box with Vivo’s own FunTouch OS 10 skin on top. FunTouch OS 10 is a blend of the old and new, as it retains some of the old, most-loved features while bringing a new fresh look and improving the user experience. The FunTouch OS 10 is much improved and packed with features.

The new FunTouch OS 10 brings performance improvements, quick sharing features, new system dynamics, and minimalistic design. The Vivo X50 also brings DocVault which uses the Government of India’s Digilocker platform as an authorized partner. It’s very useful for easily managing documents on the go.

There is the system-wide dark mode which reduces strain on the eyes and as Vivo X50 comes with an AMOLED display, the dark mode would also help save power. There is also the new Desktop Mode where the phone would switch to a desktop mode when you connect your phone to an external monitor. Along with these, there are other features like easier file sharing, new privacy-focused settings, multitasking via floating windows, and much more. The UI has improved a lot when we look back and the overall experience with the FunTouch OS on Vivo X50 has been really good.

Battery

The Vivo X50 packs a 4200mAh battery which seems to be quite good. The phone saves quite a bit of power if you use dark mode. However, if you normally use the phone without the dark mode, then also, you can get a full day usage easily and may need to plug it in by the end of the phone. I mostly charge my phone overnight but when I forgot to plug it in once, then also, by the time I wake up and leave home, I could easily get the phone charged up to 78% thanks to the ultra-fast 33W charging.

Final Verdict

Vivo X50 is a phone that you can rely on for video creation. The camera on the phone is really good, the device feels premium and due to the design, the phone quite reminds of Huawei. A high refresh rate AMOLED panel, solid battery, and stable performance, along with superfast 33W charging make the Vivo X50 phone quite a complete package for most users.

Pros

Premium build & design

Great photo & video capturing capabilities

90Hz AMOLED display

Cons

Single Bottom firing speaker

[allenmendezsr]

Full Throttle Fat Loss - Huge Commissions - Launching Now

New Post has been published on https://autotraffixpro.app/allenmendezsr/full-throttle-fat-loss-huge-commissions-launching-now/

Full Throttle Fat Loss - Huge Commissions - Launching Now

 Buy Now

    Dr. Kareem graduated from and is a featured expert by:

Dear Friend,

I sat down to write you this letter because I’m inspired, and I’m onto something that can truly change your life. In the end, I realized there’s no better way to prove this to you than by actually teaching you everything there is to know about accelerating the fat loss process, and why it works so well.

We’re talking about another level of fat loss and body transformation.

The way most workout programs are designed is by deciding which muscles to work today, and how to best set up your program to hit everything eventually; all of this while stimulating the greatest “metabolic” effect. The problem is, you’re already off to the wrong start.

Muscle = Metabolism, right?

So in order to stimulate the greatest metabolic effect from an exercise, we want to get as much muscle involved as possible. This just makes sense. However, stimulating as much muscle as possible may not be what it seems…

There Are 2 Ways To Stimulate Muscle And Increase Your Metabolism, Not Just One.

One idea would be to work as many muscles within a given workout as you can; another possibility would be to enhance the electrical signal to a group of muscles, instead. Now, by working on nerve instead of a muscle, you are actually working on multiple muscles at once, and, more importantly, all of each muscle.

It’s a cold hard FACT that you’ll take much more away from every rep of every exercise, of every set, and of EVERY workout when you stimulate your nervous system first.

But this is just the beginning… there’s a specific sequence of events that I follow to increase signal strength. Here they are:

Plan a movement.

Re-align the spine.

Excite nerves that relax during the day by doing 5 minutes of muscle balancing exercises.

Balance joints to take away pain signals you may not know are going on.

Ask for more electricity through dynamic and unstable exercises.

Work related segments together, at once, to improve muscle timing.

Create ‘Cardiovascular Override’ by working all 3 Energy Systems

That may sound like a lot to think about, but there is an easy fat loss system that solves this for you:

The Quadruple Fat Loss Stack™ is a high-speed fat loss system based on the number 4 and the proprietary “stacker” technology used in Full Throttle Fat Loss:

It works because we do 4 critically important things as we progress:

Recruit, Load, Distribute, Stack. This ensures progression, by the use of Fat Loss Stacker Principle. First, we recruit a muscle or group of muscles, then we add a load to the muscle, redistribute our weight, and add a second or third exercise into the mix before completing a rep.

Stacker Fat Loss Technology is when you add the fat loss effect of every portion of every exercise together. It’s a simple formula. Let’s give a practical example. Let’s say that you do the following 2 exercises, back to back:

Squat and Lunge

1 Squat + 1 Lunge = 2 exercises.

Now, let’s say you take those same 2 exercises, except you add a movement to exercise #2, and you leave the rest the same.

Squat

Lunge + Press = 2-part exercise

1 Squat + 2-part exercise = 3 exercises.

You get the idea. We can really build a lot more into a lot less time when we learn to add exercises together. Fat loss skyrockets, as does the metabolic effectiveness of every exercise.

Stacker Fat Loss Technology wins.

Can’t see the video? Please Download the latest Adobe Flash Player here

“Lose Fat 2x Faster Than Anything In The World” on NBC

Metabolic Training: Lose Pain and Fat on NBC

Toned Arms In 10 Minutes on NBC

With the unique progression built in to the Quadruple Neuro Fat Loss Stack™, we strategically prime your body to lose more and more fat each and every week, unlike typical fat loss programs in which results decline each week until you eventually hit a dreaded fat loss plateau. Can you just imagine losing even MORE fat in week 4 than you did in week 1? That’s exactly what we do with Full Throttle Fat Loss – instead of plateauing, you’ll be stacking your results from week to week until you hit Full Throttle max speed in week 4.

Listen, I’ve invested hundreds of thousands of dollars into my education in fitness, health, and rehabilitation; more importantly, it took me years to get this far, and tens of thousands of clients trained. I truly believe I can advance you to ‘master-level’ knowledge in your own body and how to make it lose fat within 16 short weeks in Full Throttle Fat Loss.

Full Throttle Fat Loss was created out of the realization that fat loss could (and should) happen much faster for everyone, not just some people. Sure, if you’re perfectly coordinated, familiar with working out a specific muscle instead of movement, and already know how hard to push yourself, you’ll probably get results.

The trouble is, this only represents a small portion of the population. That’s why I created a program that works for both beginners and advanced trainees, progressing exercise skill level at lightening speed, regardless.

You’re going to wake up one day in the next 8 weeks and bounce right out of bed. You’ll feel light on your toes, strangely happy for no apparent reason, and ready to charge at your day. As you glimpse at yourself in the mirror while you stop in the bathroom, it’ll confuse you and you’ll think back to the dream you just awoke from moments ago.

“Wow, it’s like I’m not even looking at the same person. I remember just a few minutes ago while I was dreaming, I was much heavier than this, and I actually looked older? This is crazy.”

As you look for your belly, it’ll be gone. Your body will be melting, and you’ll feel awesome.

At this point, there’s no turning back. I won’t let you.

You’re so close to where you want to be, you have no idea. Sure, I’m going to push you, and I’m going to give you everything I’ve got to inspire you. I’ll stop at nothing to ensure you get results. But I won’t take no for an answer. You’re here for a reason…

One way or another, you have to get in shape at this point. It’s up to you how, but I’ve got a great package that will simplify the process. Check it out:

32 Doctor-Designed Rapid Neuro Fat Loss Workouts + Audios ($297 value):

You’re about to gain lifetime access to 32 doctor-designed, neuro fat loss workouts. With your nervous system at the root of the programming, you’re going to experience faster fat loss than you’ve ever seen or heard of before. By enhancing the electricity to your muscle, you’re turning more muscle ‘on’ and getting more from every exercise that you do. You’re about to be blown away. In addition to filming these exercises for online streaming and a downloadable version for your iPod or other video device, I’ve created audios to help the ‘auditory learners’ out there maximize the effect.

Full Throttle Fat Loss At-Home Modifications Guide ($17 value):

Using this program at home isn’t going to be a problem. I’ll hold your hand and give you real, practical examples of household items you can use in place of the only piece of equipment we use in this program, a dumbbell. Plus, I’m going to give you creative workout ideas for various home environments that make exercise more fun for the entire family!

The Top 10 Fat Loss Lessons Of All Time Cheat Sheet ($29.95 value):

Over the last 10 years, I’ve been taking notes. I’ve learned what’s had the largest impact over tens of thousands of clients, both online and offline. I’ve listened to feedback, asked questions, and learned from my clients, mentors, and peers.

This is a comprehensive list of the best fat loss lessons I’ve ever learned; essentially, a shortcut to fat loss. You know the 80/20 rule, right:

80% of your efforts yield 20% of your results

20% of your efforts yield 80% of your results.

This is the 20% you should be focused on 100% of the time to get 400% the result.

Full Throttle Fat Loss Beginner Basics Guide ($29.95 value):

Worried that this might be above your level? I’ve got you covered. Whether you’ve been exercising a long time and you’re worried about your form, you could just use a review, or you’re brand new to exercise, this guide will teach you the fundamentals and form on all of the basic movements you’ll see in any exercise.

Learning exercise gets much easier when you go through this guide.

Victory Journal ($9.95 value):

Fat loss is a celebration. Victory journals document your success. However, there’s a specific method to this that seems to produce way better results and dwarfs using a workout journal. I’m including this for you, as well.

U-Stream Assess & Correct Workshops ($197 value):

In these hour long workshops, I evaluate and treat 3 clients for various issues, including neck, shoulder, low back, hip, and knee pain. We figure out what’s causing it, develop a plan of care that gets superimposed into their exercise programs, and send them on their way. This is invaluable if you have an injury or may in the future.

Transformational Mindset Audios ($29.95 value):

Results are meaningless unless you can appreciate what’s happening; and by appreciating what’s happening you’re sure to see much better results. There’s a fundamental mindset switch that takes place in truly successful fat loss clients, both from an exercise perspective, as well as nutrition.

In the Transformational Mindset Audios, I teach you all about the proper mindset for fat loss and fitness, and the fastest way I know to help you get there.

Private 120 Minute VIP Coaching Call ($560 value):

Ask me anything you want. This is about you and your results. Nobody gets this access to me without paying $560, minimum, but it’s included with your investment today.

Full Throttle Fat Loss is about never having to lose fat slowly again. I’m going to make you the deal of a lifetime. The 8-components of Full Throttle Fat Loss are worth over $1170, but since I really care about you and your results, I’m going to give you a VIP discount of just a single, one-time payment of:

$1170 $97

Click here to end fat loss

Immediate action gets immediate rewards. By investing in Full Throttle Fat Loss on Day 1, you’re showing me that you’re ready to create real change. I’m listening, and I’m answering back with the most powerful 14 day fat loss plan I’ve ever created – FREE.

This is about immediate results and simplicity to get started. In the 14 Day Fat Loss Plan, I’m going to show you, in the easiest way possible, how to start losing fat at insane speeds, immediately. I’ll tell you what to focus on, how to get more from less exercise, and exactly what to do for 14 days straight.

This is about helping you lose at least 7-10 pounds in the first 2 weeks, while balancing your body at the same time.

Yes, incredible. How will your body look when you shave off 7 to 10 unsightly pounds and boost your energy at the same time? How will people respond when they see you 14 days from now?

As a special gift for joining the release off Full Throttle Fat Loss, you’re going to get this specialty program completely FREE. I told you I’m not holding anything back, and I refuse to let you fail.

If you’re lazy and you’re not going to do what it takes to get lean, then this isn’t for you, and you don’t have to worry. But let me warn you, your opportunity to take advantage of this special offer and get all of the bonuses is fading away quickly. No pressure intended; I believe in you, but the time to take action if you really want to get results is now.

Besides, you’ve already learned what it takes to design a fat loss program that ensures results. You understand that there are a lot of elements, and that this can be overwhelming in the beginning. Plus, you realize that developing a passion for health can take time, so having a coach by your side is a critical element to your success.

I’d like to be your coach, and I’d like to help ensure your results.

Click here to end fat loss

Then It’s ALL FREE.

I know this system works. I know the science is solid and the method has been tested. You’re going to get results. That said, if you’re unsatisfied in any way, I’ve got your back. Fitness and health are about having a positive experience, over and over again. If you’re not 100% convinced that this is one of the most positive experiences you’ve ever had with your health, than I’d rather you invest your money somewhere else.

As your coach, your goals come first. Whatever it takes, even if it means refunding you the entire cost of the program and directing you to something that may be a better fit for your needs…. either way, I’ve got you covered.

That said, I can’t imagine a better fit for you right now. You’re reading this for a reason, and you’re protected 100% for the next 60 days while you give Full Throttle Fat Loss a “test-run,” so to speak, and watch your fat melt right off.

If you follow Full Throttle Fat Loss exactly as outlined in the materials and let me plan your fat loss journey, you’re going to see better fat loss results than ever. However, if you haven’t lost more fat in the first 8 weeks than you ever have in that time period before, just contact us and you’ll get a full refund.

That’s right. Lose more fat than ever in the next 8 weeks by following the program or you get your money back. No hassles, no hoops to jump through, just a prompt, courteous refund.

Believe me, if you get even half the results my other clients have, you won’t be sorry. Go ahead and click add to cart – Let’s get started:

Click here to end fat loss

It’s time you realize this: mastering anything takes time. You have all the tools you need to ensure fat loss success someday. I’d like that day to be today for you.

Modeling is the fastest way to become successful in anything. Take what I’m showing you in Full Throttle Fat Loss and one-up it. Essentially, look at my method, do it, and then figure out how to make it better. This is so much easier than starting from the beginning.

Instead of having to orchestrate combining, ALL 7 ways to stimulate your nervous system, ALL 10 Fat Loss Commandments, and the Quadruple Neuro Fat Loss Stack into short, extremely effective workouts, you have an opportunity to work backwards. I’ve already thought about all of these aspects when designing Full Throttle Fat Loss, and you can do each workout while knowing you’re achieving at full capacity in each area.

Plus you can do it ALL today while saving $1073 from the total package value and skyrocketing your immediate results with the insane bonus package I’ve created for you.

Click here to end fat loss

I’m extremely excited to work with you and see your results. Your body is about to do amazing things, and you’re going to wonder how it’s even possible that your body got so lean in such a short time period.

After years of chasing fat loss and weight loss, you’re already home.

4 days from now you’re going to see immediate, noticable results

4 weeks from now it’s GAME OVER

Today is Day 1. Let’s get started.

Your friend and coach,

Dr. Kareem F. Samhouri, CSCS, HFS Neuro Metabolic Fat Loss & Fitness Expert

P.S. Full Throttle Fat Loss is meant to help you lose fat right now, but I can only lead a horse to water. For now, you can secure your lifetime membership today and never have to face the expensive alternative of an in-person personal trainer that may never be able to deliver these results. Click HERE to get started and save BIG!

P.P.S. Remember, with my Iron-clad, 100% Money-back Guarantee, I’m giving you 60 risk-free days to discover the body that lays underneath your fat. You’ll see it, and then decide. This is the only program in the world that will take your fat loss results to this level, and then also accelerate all of your future results. Grab it RISK-FREE today.

Q: What is Full Throttle Fat Loss and why will it accelerate my results?

Full Throttle Fat Loss is the first program in the world to integrate all aspects of fat loss, including nervous system stimulation, fat loss acceleration, and a holistic process that looks at the entire ‘you’ before making assumptions of what will and will not work.

Your body truly is unique, but there are three things that all of us have in common:

We need faster and stronger signals to our muscles from our nerves. This gets more muscle involved and helps you improve your results, dramatically, with every workout you do.

We all have strengths and weaknesses. Working within our strengths 80% of the time is the best way to lose fat at full speed.

Stacker Fat Loss always works. By stacking exercises together into multi-part exercises, you are requiring your body to work harder to get through the exercise. This work = metabolism, which means there is an increased metabolic cost with every exercise you do.

Full Throttle Fat Loss was designed to help you eliminate time-wasted in your workouts or a plan that wasn’t ever going to work in the end. This is about starting the rest of your fat loss journey in a predictable, sensible, and logical way that just makes sense.

Your body was designed to eliminate waste. It gets rid of fat when it’s signaled to, but you have to first speak the language of the body. That’s where most people go wrong. Muscles are silent; they don’t speak.

Nerves are not silent, and they ‘speak’ to muscles through electricity. Every nerve innervates multiple muscles. By focusing on enhancing nerve signals to muscles, we naturally activate more muscles, and more of every muscle. It’s a double-win.

We’re all made differently, right?

While this is true, there are only so many variations. For example, you might be tall and thin, short and round, short and stocky, etc. By taking a glimpse into your own body and learning what type of muscle fiber you preference, you are automatically setting yourself up for success. Then, when you choose to ‘mix it up’ and ‘scare your fat away,’ your body won’t know what hit it, and you’ll respond just like all those before/after’s you keep seeing in the media.

As for Stacker Fat Loss, this is just simple mathematics. Every joint has a local metabolism, and your whole body, or global metabolism, is the accumulation of many local joint metabolisms. Essentially, the more of your joints (or bodyparts) you move, the higher the metabolic cost of an exercise. The more you do this, the higher your metabolism goes, and around we go.

Over the next 4 weeks, we’re going to prime your body to lose fat at full speed. I fully intend to help you create a ‘Metabolic Shift.’ This is a moment in time when your metabolism re-establishes ‘normalcy’ at a brand-new, higher level. Once it gets used to functioning ‘faster’, it’ll naturally make this the new base level, or basal metabolic rate (BMR) for your body.

So, in combination, we TRIPLE your metabolism:

Step 1: Activate more muscle to get more from every rep and increase metabolic cost. Step 2: Stack exercises together and increase metabolic cost of every set. Step 3: Prime your body to lose fat and then create a ‘Metabolic Shift’, so that you always lose fat faster, from this point on.

Q: Is Full Throttle Fat Loss ‘too’ difficult?

That’s a great question, and I’m going to flip it back on you. No, it shouldn’t be too difficult, but difficult is a relative term. What is difficult for you?

If it’s a matter of stepping outside of your comfort zone, then, yes, this is going to be difficult. If it’s a matter of an exercise being too advanced or a workout program being too intense, that’s not the case. Full Throttle Fat Loss was designed for any level by using some ninja program design to allow any person, at any level, to step in and get a great workout.

I wish I had the opportunity to work with everyone I train from Day 1. That would be incredible. You’d never make any form mistakes, or get confused by all of the garbage out there in weight loss. Instead, you’ll have a targeted and systematized approach to getting your lean body and losing fat as fast as possible, while keeping you healthy. So, I designed this program for you, if that’s the case.

On the other hand, I take great enjoyment out of training Olympic and professional athletes. It’s really neat to see the potential of your method realized through the most athletic and capable bodies in the world. I always wanted a way to serve both populations, and Full Throttle Fat Loss helped me solve this. As you’ll see in a moment, fat loss isn’t the only advantage here, so even if you’re ultra-advanced, you’re in for an incredible treat.

Q: What is Rebound Fat Loss? I’ve only ever heard of Rebound Weight Gain. How is this different?

Before we discuss Rebound Fat Loss, let’s just make sure we’re on the same page about Rebound Weight Gain and why it happens:

Crash Dieting. Crash Dieting makes it so that your body is in starvation mode and eats its own muscle. Since muscle consumes a ton of energy (calories) for your body, your metabolism naturally decreases over time. Unfortunately, as you reduce your caloric intake and lose muscle at the same time, your body’s reward for the weight you lost is less food and a slower metabolism.

On the other hand…

Rebound Fat Loss is when you hit a fat loss goal, and then you decide to go for another one and hit it faster. Most fat loss programs actually slow down in results over time, no matter how much harder you work to see any change.

Full Throttle Fat Loss was designed to actually increase your metabolism over time, improve the neurological signal to your muscle, and re-connect your body. In doing so, your results actually begin to accelerate. You’ll be much happier when you join the Full Throttle Fat Loss community and start to see accelerated results. Go ahead and click add to cart:

Click here to end fat loss

Q: Is Full Throttle Fat Loss a program that can be repeated?

Of course, but you won’t need to in order to hit your goals. As you’ll see in a minute, I’m going to make you an incredible offer to let me build your workouts for you until you feel more comfortable becoming fully independent, but that’s just a choice and a courtesy.

You’ll be able to use Full Throttle Fat Loss over and over again, as often as you want. More importantly, you’ll understand how to easily switch in/out exercises to the program I already created for you and keep your results coming forever.

This is about fat loss independence, and it’s about never plateauing again. I’m on your side.

Q: What if I’m trying to build muscle or just get a bit leaner?

Ok, so this is where Full Throttle Fat Loss gets really cool. Because this is a fully periodized program with distinct phases, you naturally electrify your body into getting lean and activating more muscle within the first 4 weeks. After this point, it’s easy to hit any fitness goal you want, whether it’s just increasing fitness level or getting bigger.

Full Throttle Fat Loss is designed to help your body gain and tolerate more from every workout. These are both essential points in building muscle or improving your fitness level. You’ve found the ‘priming’ solution for fitness and building muscle.

Q: What if I have an injury? Can I still get results with Full Throttle Fat Loss?

Great question. 34 pounds and 17% bodyfat ago, I was in a lot of pain… in fact, I’d say 8/10 pain in most joints in my body. It was terrible, and I was 23 years old.

Through simple muscle balancing exercises and good judgment, I was able to lose all of my unwanted bodyfat and regain my self-confidence. I’d like you to be able to do the same thing.

The best thing to do if you’re injured is learn to work around it. You’re creating a faster and better healing environment for your body in doing so. By driving more circulation everywhere in your body through exercising non-injured bodyparts, you’re improving oxygen saturation to the injured tissue, and you’ll heal faster.

It makes sense to get moving. Use good judgment, involve your doctor or physical therapist if it makes sense, and ask questions, but be sure you get started and take action right away.

Q: I’m ready to start losing fat now. Is this program going to take forever in the mail?

No! The entire program will become immediately available to you via membership login and download after your purchase – no shipping fees, no waiting for results!

Q: As a Doctor of Physical Therapy, is it fair to say that you’re willing to work with someone who’s not in her/his “prime” anymore?

Yes, and I specialize in working with people of all ages. No matter what your need or circumstance, I’m here to help. Our youngest client is an 8 year old boy and our oldest is a 93 year old woman. It’s working for both. It’ll work for you too.

Based upon everything we’re learning about each other, this program will work for you. Click add to cart and let’s get started:

Click here to end fat loss

Q: What if I’m just starting out?

Totally, but only beginners that want to lose fat as fast as advanced trainees and are willing to open their minds and trust the method.

In addition to the Beginner Basics Guide that comes with Full Throttle Fat Loss, I’ve designed each workout to adjust to your level automatically. Plus, I’ve explained every movement and every exercise in complete detail, demonstrated common form deviations as well as proper form, and shown you the way to ‘feel your muscles’ while you move.

Q: Can men and women both get great results with this program?

Of course. 60% of my clients are women and 40% are men. I wouldn’t create anything that doesn’t work for both of you. Full Throttle Fat Loss was designed to guarantee you the fastest fat loss results you’ve ever seen and have you accelerate fat loss results over time.

Get ready, we’re going to have some fun.

Q: What if I don’t get results?

Then it’s all FREE.

I know this system works. I know the science is solid and the method has been tested. You’re going to get GREAT results. That said, if you’re unsatisfied in any way, I’ve got your back. Fitness and health are about having a positive experience, over and over again. If you’re not 100% convinced that this is one of the most positive experiences you’ve ever had with your health, than I’d rather you invest your money somewhere else.

I’ll issue you a complete, hassle-free refund anytime within your first 60 days if you’re not completely wow’d by what’s to come.

As you can see, the burden is completely on me. I’m taking all the risk, so you don’t have to. You’ve been let down enough times… not this time.

Click the button below and let’s get you leaner:

Click here to end fat loss

Full Throttle Fat Loss is a great deal this time, and I’m committed to helping every one of you get amazing results. You are the beginning of a new era in fat loss, and I want to ensure you are the example for the rest of the industry from this point on.

You’ve made it this far. You’re reading this for a reason, and I’m here to help.

You know, a lot of people ask me:

“Hey Doc,

I really want to trust you with this stuff, but nothing has worked for me before, and I feel like I’ve tried everything. Do you really think this will work for me?”

…and I respond about the same way every time…

“Your body is your body, but your mind is much stronger. Before I can draw that conclusion, you have to decide for yourself. Yes, this program can do what you’re looking for and then some, but it all starts with you. You have to believe, with everything you’ve got inside, that you’ll never be the same again and you refuse to quit on your goals until they are realized. Find that inspiration and you’ve already won. There’s no other way…”

No matter what, though, I just hope that you’ve taken a lot away from the time we have spent together today. There are a lot of other workout programs out there and temptation to buy everything you see, but I truly believe this to be the best program on Earth for fat loss acceleration. If it weren’t, I wouldn’t have released it. This is about bringing things that are newer and better to the industry, or keeping our mouths shut and learning from the best.

In a world ridden with obesity, it’s my job to enhance the transformation effect, not confuse it. Just take a look at what Marty has to say and you’ll understand much more clearly why this is life-changing information:

Can’t see the video? Please Download the latest Adobe Flash Player here

On behalf of the entire Samhouri family, we wish you success with your fat loss and weight loss goals. We believe in you, and we believe that change starts today for each one of us. We’re here for you anytime you want, and we’re glad to help…

…but, today, we’ll do it for the deal of a lifetime and a ton of extra bonuses. This truly is your last chance… to get in shape. Act now, save money, and do something about your frustration.

Win with me. Click add to cart. Let’s get started.

Click here to end fat loss

[waynekelton]

Pubg Lite for Pc

As the first worldwide successful battle royale game, PUBG has become the classic game of its own genre. However, the game requires a high demand for hardware that not everyone can afford. Later on, PUBG Mobile came out to fill the need of people who want to play PUBG anytime, anywhere and people with a weak PC.

PUBG PC LITE

It seems that PUBG has covered all the market segments. However, there is something that doesn’t quite add up. While PUBG Mobile can be played on weak PCs, the quality and the physics of the game aren’t the same as the original one. That’s why PUBG Lite was born, to fill the gap between PUBG and PUBG Mobile.

PUBG Lite was originally called PUBG Project Thai and was changed to PUBG Lite later on. The PUBG team promised that the game “is aiming to be more like the PUBG STEAM version, the core element of PUBG,” and they proved it in the beta stage.

Pubg Lite PC has an average of 300,000 active players each month which is quite significant for a sub-part.

The chart below should give you a better idea of the number of unique users each month.

How to download Pubg lite for PC

Downloading and installing PUBG Lite is pretty simple and much like any other Program or game installation

1. Head to the PUBG Lite website via Google Chrome (so it automatically translates Thai into English for you to understand).

2. You’ll need to do two things here: first, apply for a PUBG ID and second, download the PUBG Lite Launcher setup. So, let’s download the setup file.

3. It’s simple. Just click on the ‘Download’ button on the home page to go to download section, scroll down and click the orange ‘Download’ button to get the PUBG Lite setup. You can install it but don’t run it right away (why you ask? more on this below). Now, you need to click the ‘Apply for ID’ button on the top right and enter the required credentials to create your account. This is an important step as this PUBG ID will be required to log into the game.

4. Next, head to your email account and click the ‘Confirm to Register’ link to verify your PUBG ID. Voila!! You’ve completed the initial steps and are well underway to start playing in no time

PUBG PC lite size

Once you have downloaded the .exe file by following the steps given above which is of 64+ Mb and started running the .exe you will notice that a download for extra files is required.

When we download big games on our smartphones, particularly androids, it is noted that many of them require additional files to function much like that PUBG Lite will download additional files which are approximately 2.3 GB in size.

pUBG lite pc requirements

PUBG LITE system requirements state that you will need at least 4 GB of RAM. Additionally, the game developers recommend somewhere around 8 GB of RAM in your system.

You will need at least 4 GB of free disk space to install PUBG LITE. Provided that you have at least an Intel HD 4000 graphics card, you can play the game. Furthermore, an AMD Radeon HD 7870 is recommended in order to run PUBG LITE with the highest settings.

To play PUBG LITE you will need a minimum CPU equivalent to an Intel Core i3-530. Whereas, an Intel Core i5-650 is recommended in order to run it.

In terms of further optimization, there’s not much you can do to improve things. While PUBG Lite is effectively a port for the mobile version of the game but is designed for low-end systems, all the settings are already as bottomed out as they can be.

Additionally, unlike the main game, it’s only a 40 person battle royale rather than 100. If you can’t run PUBG Lite, you might just have to give up on your dreams of emerging as a battle royale champion! PUBG Lite, the low-spec version, has been in open beta since January, releasing in stages, starting just in Thailand.

These are the PUBG LITE system requirements (minimum)

Memory:4 GB

Graphics Card: Intel HD 4000

CPU: Intel Core i3-530

PUBG LITE File Size:4 GB

OS: Windows 7,8,10,64bit

These are the PUBG LITE system requirements (recommended)

Memory: 8 GB

Graphics Card: AMD Radeon HD 7870

PUBG LITE CPU: Intel Core i5-650

File Size:4 GB

OS: Windows 7,8,10,64bit

Download PUBG Lite for PC

The steps given above should guide you on how you can download and install PUBG Lite. PUBG Lite is a wonderful game that has seen huge appreciation from users around the world much like PUBG itself.

To download the game you want to first of all head over to the link by clicking on the button below.

Download PUBG PC Lite

After clicking on the button above you should see a page like:

Click on the Download button in the top right corner and follow the steps given above for installation.

Controls for Pubg Lite

These are the default key binds for PUBG PC Lite:

Mouse Controls

Left Mouse Button: Shoot

Right Mouse Button: Aim

Mouse Wheel: Weapon Change

MOVE: Camera Angle

Movement Controls

W: Forward

A: Walk Left

S: Back

D: Walk Right

Q: Peek Left

E: Peek Right

Misc. Controls

C: Crouch

X: Stay Armed

Z: Prone

F: Interact/Pick up

V: FPP / TPP camera angle switch

B: Change firing mode

M: Open Map

CTL: Walk

SHIFT: Sprint

SPACE: Jump

Weapon Controls

1: primary weapon

2: secondary weapon

3: pistol

4: close-range weapon

5: Grenade

Item Controls

7: Medical Kit

8: First Aid Kit

9: Bandage

0: Energy Drink

I: Open your inventory

Best Settings for PUBG PC lite

Graphic Settings

Resolution Settings for PUBG Lite

The screen is the most essential factor when it comes to doing almost anything so why not make it the most enjoyable. A high framerate is crucial that maximizes your gaming performance. Stick to 1080p if your monitor supports it or 720p at the very least. 4K might be tempting but you’ll be sacrificing the performance and the fluidity. If your system supports 1440p, go for it.

Refresh Rate Settings for PUBG Lite

This is quite tricky. It mostly depends on personal preference. Gamers use a monitor that is capable of thrusting over 60 frames per second (fps). Set it to 144 frames per second. Keep in mind that not just the monitor, but the graphics card also determines what refresh rate you can use. So if you have a crazy machine, you can crank it up.

Mouse Settings

Mouse Settings for PUBG Lite

A mouse is vital for playing PUBG Lite on your personal computer. Once you’ve shopped for the best gaming mouse under your budget, make sure you set it according to your needs. The main part of using a mouse is its sensitivity. It can either make or break that chicken dinner. All this should work in conjunction with the in-game sensitivity, the resolution of your screen, so choose carefully by balancing all the three factors.

Mouse DPI Settings for PUBG Lite

82% of professional gamers use a DPI (dots per inch) when it comes to mouse sensitivity. Users settle the DPI between 400-800. You should personally choose the setting but we suggest you shouldn’t go higher than 1600 DPI. You won’t see any advantage if you select DPI over 1600.

Sensitivity Settings

In-game Sensitivity Settings

PUBG Lite sets the value at 50 by default. Maintaining sensitivity to scope lower will help you hit faraway targets. The basic idea of sensitivity is to be aware of your surroundings and maintain your posture in a gunfight.

The guidelines are given below and it is ideal that you follow it but depending on your personal experience, you can choose the settings that make you feel that the game controls are in your hand.

Average Sensitivity: 43

Targeting Sensitivity: 40

Scoping Sensitivity: 40

2x Scope: 39

3x Scope: 39

4x Scope: 39

6x Scope: 39

8x Scope: 39

15x Scope: 39

Miscellaneous Settings for PUBG Lite PC

Display Mode -Set this to Fullscreen. You will get more frames per second (fps).

FPP Camera FOV – Increase it to 103. You’ll be able to see more enemies as this gives you a wider field of view.

In-Game FPS Limit – Set this to Unlimited.

Screen Scale – Set this at 100. It will match the resolution of your monitor and you won’t lose any frames per second.

Smoothed Framerate – Turn it off. Turning it on will cause input lag.

View Distance – Set it to Low. It lets you see the objects in the landscape get rendered. It doesn’t have much impact.

Anti-aliasing – Set it to Medium. This option makes the object look smoother but will make them a bit blurry. Set it to medium if you must save the frames.

Post-processing – Set this to Low. This will decrease the darkness of darker places.

Textures – Set this to Medium. This option will give you a mixed setting of performance and visibility.

Shadows – Set this to Very Low. You won’t drop the frames and you’ll see your enemies’ shadows.

Effects – Set to Very Low. It only enhances the quality of explosions and smoke.

Foliage – Set to Very Low. Setting it at fuller will cost you frames, making it harder to spot enemies.

V-Sync – Turn it off. However, use only if the screen tearing is terrible.

Motion Blur – Turn it off. It offers no advantage.

Sharpen – Turn it on. Makes the game and everything in it look sharper.

Verdict

Thanks to the newly launched PUBG Lite and their team you might just end up buying a new mouse or a keyboard, which is better than buying a whole new PC that plays the original game without any hiccups. Above all, to fully enjoy the game, make sure you spend just a few hours daily and not the whole day playing it.

The post Pubg Lite for Pc appeared first on GAMES INDIAN.

Pubg Lite for Pc published first on https://touchgen.tumblr.com/

[soysaucevictim]

Week 3 + starting Fit Christmas Program & got an ornament for the DARETREE under the cut.

-

Dec. 7

I got up around noon, today.

First, today’s DD. 2; overhead un/clenching fists with EC. Did have a false start because I lost count, but then counted 205 reps in the full duration. I had to slow down a lot in the second minute - this is always pretty brutal for them forearm muscles. Nevertheless, I enjoyed myself! :D

Second, Day 7 of the ‘19AC. 1′ side plank hold. Managed the 30″/30″ in one go, after a moment to adjust my arm position (false start was a bit tough for the elbows). Took some steady breathing, but managed it.

Third, Day 1 of the Fit Christmas Program. Cardio, Level 3. I kept my rest periods under 30″ and it was still relatively breezy. I like the peaks and troughs, it’s easier to mind the knees. I think this is a good way to refill my docket with more broad exercises.

Fourth, Day 13 of the KMC. 100 turning kicks + 100 side kicks. I did this in (50/50) + (50/50), with a very brief pause after the first exercise. Didn’t alternate, because I did get some cardio in earlier and made things that much more intense.

Fifth, Day 13 of the DHC. 2x10″ dead hangs. Didn’t do much of a warm-up this time, probably should’ve. I just thought the DD might’ve been sufficient. Some shoulder complaints felt, but this was still manageable.

Last, Day 13 of the DGC. I’m grateful:

That I was able to go to college for the time I did. I hope to resume things sooner than later.

That I now have access to a lot of my favorite music offline.

That I haven’t opened up Steam for the past few days now.

I got too distracted to get much else done, today.

-

Dec. 8

I woke up at 1PM, today. Disappointing but unsurprising, given how late I got to bed last night. =_=

Watched a bit of YouTube before getting into my exercise proper.

First, today’s DD. 20 up/down planks with EC. That was pretty rough, but wearing long sleeves helps.

Second, Day 8 of the ‘19AC. 30″ boat pose hold. Managed it in one go, and enjoyed doing it!

Third, Day 2 of the FCP. Strength, Level 3 (took most of the given rest time between sets, this time). I occasionally played with doing one side then the next vs. alternating - just for variety. For the second day of a Level 2 program - this kinda kicked my ass. But I managed to get through it in one piece. Oof. orz

(After some recovery time...)

Fourth, Day 14 of the KMC. 2x 40 turning kicks + 40 side kicks. This was pretty doable, I just did things 20/20 with a very small pause

Fifth, Day 14 of the DHC. 50″ dead hang. I feel p proud that I managed to do this in one go! Remains to be seen if I'll need to break the time up, by challenge’s end. But I've been able to mostly keep up. Soon the increments will be 10" instead of 5". So yeah. :U

Last, Day 14 of the DGC. I’m grateful (okay, I was in A Mood this time):

For the progress I’ve been able to make in fitness.

For my brother’s contributions to the household.

For the existence of hummus.

And kimchi.

And gingerbread/gingersnap cookies.

And coffee. (Even though I probably could restrain myself a bit there.)

I stayed up rather late again. Did watch Horns and trimmed Dad’s beard, before then, though.

-

Dec. 9

I got up barely before 1PM, today, This is getting to be a problem. =_=

After a bit of YouTube, I did some exercise.

First, today’s DD. 40 get-ups with EC. This was pretty intense but manageable. :P

Second, Day 9 of the ‘19AC. 1′ calf raise hold. This was pretty doable and fun work.

Third, Day 3 of the FCP. Challenge, 200 jumping jacks. Done in 2 sets of 100, with ~2′ rest. It did hit the bliss spot a few times and was pretty challenging to do all the reps in that pace. But manageable. Always gets the foot archways a bit tender and took a bit of pacing to relax the relevant tendons a bit. :P

(We then ran some errands... which I felt good about.)

Fourth, Day 15 of the KMC. 140 turning kicks, switching legs halfway (and done in one go). This went well enough.

(Just about when bro had some alarming news to reckon with... bureaucratic stuff.)

Last, Day 15 of the DHC. 2x10″ dead hangs. Manageable, if somewhat deflated by external affairs...

I tried to think about the gratitude list... but I felt somehow responsible for this problem with my bro - even if indirect. And my focus just wasn’t there.

We decided we needed to get up earlier tomorrow, so this time I hit the yellow zone, anyways.

-

Dec. 10

I think I woke up a bit after 8AM.

One of the first things we did was attempt to get some help with that problem. We got our feet in that door, but will need more input tomorrow.

Once I got home, I started on my exercises for today.

First, today’s DD. 60 standing shoulder taps with EC. This was fun and manageable. Today's been kind of hectic, so this helped to chill me out a bit.

Second, Day 10 of the ‘19AC. 1′ elbow plank. I managed this in one go. It was certainly pretty tough. But doable.

(After a psych appointment that was a bit of a mixed bag, although I was medically curious about all the lab work that was ordered. And then getting home... and also making some food...)

Third, Day 4 of the FCP. Tendon Strength. I enjoy these kinds of workouts. Took some awkward attention to the timer, since sound cues were pretty quiet underneath the music I had playing. :Ic

Fourth, Day 16 of the KMC. “10 balance kicks side and turning both each leg, no putting your foot down.” I’m happy I was able to maintain focus well enough to get this done, even with a little bit of wobbling.

Fifth, Day 16 of the DHC. 55″ dead hang. Bleh. I made two attempts at this and kept dropping in the last ~5″.  I think in between them - the effort counts. I think I was just too tired today.

Fourth, this year’s DARETREE. 3k punches for the star ornament (jumping jacks or kicks were also quite tempting)!  I did it in 3 sets of 1k, in just under 40'. All jabs and crosses, this time. I swapped stances every 100, mostly. Had a few lapses in attention - but still kept a good count. It was hard to decide, but mission accomplished!

(My arms are probably going to be very sore, in a few days.)

Last, Day 15 of the DGC. I’m grateful

That my brother doesn’t blame me for what’s happening.

That we have some potential directions to go down in response to that  development.

For chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

I was pretty beat from everything and actually got to bed on time.

-

Dec. 11

I woke up proper a little bit before noon (though I did get up a bit earlier for a short time.)

I got some lab work done and me and bro discussed things with the case manager.

After that, some exercise for me.

First, today’s DD. 400 backfists with EC. 200/200 certainly takes some willpower! But I was happy to meet this challenge - even if a bit sore from yesterday's punching for the DARETREE! :,D

Second, Day 11 of the ‘19AC. 2′ balance hold. Did have a false start with timer on desk and my neck really didn’t like that. Then I set it on floor, and kinda just barely held it together. Wobbled a bit, but good enough.

Third, Day 5 of the FCP. Abs & Core, Level 3. This was pretty breezy, so I rested under 1′ between sets for more of a challenge. It was nice to rest the head for the flutter kicks, too.

(After a bit of a music break...)

Fourth, Day 17 of the KMC. 80 double turning kicks. I did 40/40 in one go, pretty easily.

Fifth, Day 17 of the DHC. 2x10″ dead hangs. As usual, these days are nice and easy. Relatively speaking. Perhaps some soreness in arms is a factor (and probably will be more so, tomorrow.)

Last, Day 16 of the DGC. I’m grateful:

For the guidance offered by the case manager.

For take ‘n bake Gourmet Veggie Pizza.

For the chance to sleep in a bit more today, to recover from the day prior.

Watched a bit more documentaries before turning in.

-

Dec. 12

I woke up a bit after 8AM, today.

Got to the facility, did some drawing, attended WRAP Group, and socialized while there.

Got home, messed with Twitter and watched some docs before exercising for the day.

First, today’s DD. 50 side bridges with EC (25/25). This was certainly made tougher due to not enough sleep. But I'm happy I got through it alright. :P

Second, Day 12 of the ‘19AC. 1′ side elbow plank. Managed 30″/30″ in one go. Also a challenge for the DD being a variation thereof and involved the same muscles.

Third, Day 6 of the FCP. Challenge, 100 calf raises, I managed it in one go. It was certainly not a cakewalk.

(I decided to table KMC/DHC, due to lack of energy.)

Last, Day 17 of the DGC. I’m grateful:

For Nutella, even if it certainly is pretty indulgent. :P

For the contributions of agencies like OSHA, USCSB, FDA, etc. in their aims to protect health and safety of both worker and customer.

That I may have a chance to try using a binder soon, we’ll see how that goes.

Despite tired, got to bed in the red zone. :/

-

Dec. 13

I woke up a bit before 1AM.

Watched a bit of TV before going shopping with Dad and Grandma. Got some Christmas gifts - among which I got Dad a recliner. Which was nice to be able to do. I spent a bunch of my day watching documentaries and hanging around Twitter.

But I did some of my exercises today, even if it was a rest day.

First, and I will count it as such, with a good deal of bro's help - we just did a bit of a clean and rearrangement of the living room to better accommodate the recliner. All the up and down was p tough on my knees and feet - and overall felt it kicked my ass a bit.

Second, today’s DD. 50 knee-to-elbow crunches with EC. I was shopping and getting help from family to move some furniture around in the living room - so I did it late. That was tough - but I liked not having to put more pressure on my knees and feet.

Second, Day 18 of the ‘19AC. 1′ reverse plank hold. Managed it in one go - but it wasn’t a cakewalk. I was just happy my feet didn’t complain while I was doing it.

This was another night where I went to bed late. But I’ve been periodically watching bro gaming - which is fun.

-

I’m going to post this now and go draft the next week’s post shortly.

[edrecoveryprobs]

RE: Anons (finally!!) 1-8

In this post:

#2: How to handle surgery-related diets

#4: our fave recovery blogs

#5: dealing with bullying about vitiligo

#8: Recovering through the transition to college + how to challenge romanticizing ED thoughts

[CW behavior mention]

1. hi, sorry to bother you but I'm nervous I might have an eating disorder? I've been hospitalized for malnutrition in the past, but I just wasn't eating enough. the behaviors now are like binge purge restrict so on so on. I've been eating about [x] calories a day now because I want to lose weight without binging/ purging. should i tell someone about this, or is this normal?

FAQ #3 but yes definitely tell someone who can help!

2. I have to have a endoscopy/colonoscopy in a few weeks, and the prep for it has me completely on edge. In order to have the procedure done, I have to eat a restricted diet for a week, not eat for [x amount of time], and then take a super powerful laxative. My doctor also recommended I go on a weight loss diet, even though I'm still at a healthy BMI. After being recovered for several years, I've been struggling with a relapse, and I'm afraid that this will push me over the edge. Any tips on how to deal?

Sorry this is so late! Here’s advice for anyone else in your situation.

First, tell your doctor! Ask which elements of this are most important, and which can be worked around. Your ED is a complicating condition, so they should really know about it -- they’re treating YOU, not just your colon.

Second, give your laxatives to someone you trust, preferably someone who lives with you. If you can, enlist their support with mealtimes as well. If you get really sad at the end of the meal bc you can feel yourself falling back into that old place, that’s okay. Have them remind you that this is temporary, and that food is not as black-and-white as your ED wants it to be. Cede responsibility for figuring out your intake to this trusted person. Also -- make sure no one lets you know your weight at any point! Perhaps they can tell you when you’re back at your normal weight but that’s it!! The less you can obsessively track, the better.

Third, get into therapy NOW. Once this diet is over and everything gets quiet is when the ED stuff really starts to hit. I find that usually my recovery phase is ½ as long as my restrictive phase if I’m in therapy, and 2x as long if I’m not.

Fourth, acknowledge that this is unusually difficult and that struggling with a difficult thing doesn’t negate all the work you’ve been doing for years. You’ve built a solid foundation that has a good chance of keeping you stable through this rough time, and even if that starts to crack you have those same foundation-building skills to get it back to good.

I hope things went well for you <3

3. your blog always makes me feel valid and safe. thank you.

You’re so welcome! I’m glad it helps <3

4. Hey!! Do you know of any other positive recovery blogs? Im too scared to look in the tags bc they're full of pro ana things :( I love your blog, thank you!!! ❤❤

Fyoured was my fave, idk if they’re still active though! There’s also scienceofeds but that’s mostly summarizing current medical literature on it. Edreocoverystarfish and clinicallydepressedpug are also great! You can also check out our reblog tag

5. I've been suffering from vitiligo practically my whole life and it's something that affects me both psychically and emotionally. My brother often makes fun of me because of it, his favourite name for me is ''Michael Jackson"

That’s so shitty of him. If it helps, siblings tend to be rather shitty as they’re growing up, because it usually takes like 15-20 years to learn the basic emotional skills it takes to really be there for someone you love. Some people (especially masculine-identified people because of the social penalties associated) take longer to learn or never do at all. That’s not your fault.

For what it’s worth, siblings tend to make fun of whatever your biggest insecurities are, because humans learn how to affect others’ emotions before they learn how to affect them positively. Mine was acne for a while, especially since I struggle with dermatillomania (skin-picking) -- my siblings would wait for a Papa John’s commercial of a pepperoni pizza, point to it, and say “hey look, it’s Selena! HA HA HA!!”. My sister was really insecure about her hair being parted exactly down the middle, so my other sister and I would make fun of her for that. What I mean to say is, it’s not about the vitiligo. It’s about your brother not having learned yet how to NOT be a rude little shit.

Also, there’s no absolute that different colored patches of skin are ugly or bad. Calico cats are so cute! Freckles are adorable! Winnie Harlow is so talented! Find reminders in your life and/or online that different isn’t bad, and that this difference can be jaw-droppingly gorgeous or heart-breakingly adorable or lovably cute. It’s all about how you wear it.

And finally, know that love is always a choice -- including self-love. Rather, it is a combination of tons of small choices. Am I treating myself with love? Do I talk to myself lovingly, the way I would talk to a friend who was in my situation? Do I appreciate what my skin does for me, pigment or no pigment? Am I cultivating a life full of things and people that validate that love? It’s hard at first, it always is, but once you start it becomes a really awesome habit. Here is a great place to start (adjust pronouns as appropriate).

Sending you lots of love <3

[CW poop mention]

6. Hi, this incredibly embarrassing, but I recently experienced some personal trauma and so I am having problems with eating... Mostly restrictive and the inability to swallow some foods. However, I am having some digestive problems, mostly issues with skid marks. I was wondering if this is common and if there is a remedy for it... This is the first time I have experienced something like this. Sorry.

First, I really honestly don’t think anyone goes through their life without ever getting skid marks lol so you’re not a freak at all. I get them from time to time and I don’t really have digestive problems. Usually it just means I need to eat more fiber or adjust the balance of my diet. Also, this might sound weird, but anal kegels might help! The anal ring is all muscles, after all, and if restricting is a problem then all muscles have probably atrophied a little bit, including those. And finally, it might just be bad toilet paper. There’s lots of kinds that are practically useless and turn into a pulpy mess instead of doing their damn job. If you’re at home, consider getting stronger toilet paper (2-ply etc) or carrying baby wipes in a purse or backpack. Black underwear can also help with the insecurity aspect.

7. I love your blog so much! It helps knowing what other people are going through while making it a little humorous. Stay awesome!!

:D will do!

[CW romanticizing relapse, negative body image] 8. I have been battling with my ed for [x amount of time] now. In [y]th grade I got so tiny, I felt so pretty. I had never been skinny until then. I gained a lot of weight from being on so many medications, and now I am at an average weight but I am so unhappy with my body. I still struggle with purging and skipping meals. I start college this fall and I am terrified that I am going to let ana control me since no one will notice. I just want to feel beautiful and I know I wont until I'm tiny…

Something I’ve been going through recently is trying to lovingly remind myself when these thoughts pop up: I’m not believing this stuff because it’s true, I believe it because I’m literally crazy. It’s somewhat counterintuitive, but those beliefs can really take ahold of you if you take them seriously. But it’s just a symptom of the mental illness you know you already have. It’s like if you were prone to visual or audial hallucinations -- they feel real. They look real. They sound real. Of course you’d believe there are lions chasing you right now, because all of the senses you usually trust are indicating that that’s true. But also, if you can use the knowledge you have to try to see past them, you can actually interact much better with your environment.

Facts: you feel unhappy with your body. You still struggle with disordered behaviors. You start college this fall. College represents a big challenge to your ability to keep ana under control.

Beliefs: I can’t feel good unless I am thin. I can’t help but do what my ED says. I must keep this all a secret. I can’t get any help.

In the past 5 years, there have been times you’ve felt happy. Even when you weren’t thin. State memory means it’s hard to think of times you’ve felt differently, but it’s just a fact about human brains that we can’t feel one feeling for very long without switching it up.

Also, I guarantee you that you weren’t happy then. It’s so easy to romanticize thinness -- we see thinness romanticized literally ad nauseam -- but it’s such an empty feeling to be stuck in your ED. It’s so hopeless. It feels so crappy to walk into a restaurant with your friends, to see them all laughing and having fun when all you can think about is how terrifying it is to order food and how much you want to run away. When I really think about how awful each moment is with an ED, how I’m constantly either freaking out about eating or dreading the next time I’ll have to eat, how I had to numb myself constantly because reality felt so bleak.... Thin just isn’t worth it.

And let’s be clear: thin isn’t pretty. It’s just thin. Thin people CAN be pretty, but so can people of size, and so can very muscular people, and so can people whose body shape is more average. And eating disorders will make you thin at the expense of everything your body needs to maintain itself. It’s like insisting that houses are only thin if they have columns out front, so you hack off the front door, peel off the siding, pry up all the furniture, and stack up this pile of garbage to make some columns. You’re better off with a column-less but functioning house than one full of holes and empty inside.

Before you get to college, look up the mental health resources. Sign up for counseling through your school ASAP!!! Counseling tends to fill up as midterms approach, so this way you’ll be covered in case things go downhill later. Also, TELL people you trust. This you must do even if everything in you screams not to, because everything in you will scream not to, because your ED brain is actually trying to kill you. The more trusted people you tell, the less you have to fight it on your own, and the more resources you have to fight it. ALSO, see if there is an ED support group or a body positivity group on campus. Being around people who can gently call out disordered thoughts is a huge relief! And finally, explore other things that make you feel beautiful. Some people like makeup, and seeing how much of appearance is just illusion. Some feel beautiful when they know that they are strong and agile. Experiment with your clothing. Cut or dye your hair. Now is the time to test out different styles, and those are so much more fun to work on than calorie counting.

Lastly, you have more to do than be tiny. Mice are tiny. 5 cent candies are tiny. Pinky toe nails are tiny. What can you do that’s new? That helps you learn? That’s helpful? That��s exciting? Ana ignores all of that because of an obsession with BEING one thing. But ana doesn’t know shit about all the weird, cool, funny, wild stuff you can do. Show her what she’s missing.

Best of luck to you, and if you find yourself struggling in college don’t be afraid to message us back. We’re here for you throughout your recovery process <3

[risepepper9-blog]

My Goals for July 2019

Looking back at my 2018 goals, I truly accomplished one lol. The beginning of the year was so good, I was so good. But by the time July rolled around I totally forgot about them and never seemed to look back. Oops! Should a goal for this year be to fix that?

One thing I did do a really great job at was staying consistent with working out. The beginning of the year I was doing BBG then I kind of slid off after the program was done and then found my love for Barre, Yoga and ClassPass. That was in July and since then I really haven't looked back.

ClassPass has changed the way I work out. I love that there are SO many options on there that you don't have to commit to one gym/class for the rest of your life. I think that was what happened with BBG -- I just got so tired of doing the same thing over and over for 15 weeks. It worked on my body but didn't help me fall in love mentally with working out. I started to dread it and my body was also taking a beating. For my full review on BBG, you can read that here.

So ClassPass, it's the best. You pay a monthly membership fee (price is based on how many credits you want to use and differs from city to city) and you're able to sign up for classes in your area. You can try something new, do the same thing every week, switch it on and off per month -- anything really. You can also have a flex location for when you travel -- something I did when I was in NC for Thanksgiving and took classes there.

They make it so easy and I really just cannot say enough good things about it. They are currently offering your first month for free to try it out. And I suggest, if you're interested, to do so. It's really easy to cancel if you feel like it isn't a fit for you. But I think you'll really like it. If you want a more in-depth post about ClassPass, LMK!

As for my other goals... here is where we stand:

Personal:

Increase my monthly savings -- I feel like we did that after I wrote that post but I can't be 100% sure. Before I was laid off I was saving $4K a month which I was really proud of. We're continuing to save that until my severance is through but hopefully by then I will have a new job and can save the same amount -- or more! Before everything happened, I wanted to take the next step in saving more but that will have to be a goal we re-visit in July.

Get in control of my spending -- Being a blogger I feel makes this goal really hard. I have expenses and need to be buying for the blog. What I want to do is take a deeper dive into my personal finances and see what I'm spending there. Narrowing it down should help me be better about this in 2019.

Write half a book -- I didn't do this at all. I still have the idea (and the sequel! lol) in my head for this book. Maybe one day.

Wake up earlier -- We were great about this when we we're doing BBG but stopped once the exhaustion hit. More a goal for me now since I'm working from home but also not a priority since I'm working for myself lol.

Get a new couch -- Andrew and I talked about it and we decided that it just wasn't needed. We don't love our couch now but it works and it fits and it's already paid for so we're just going to keep it until we move.

Re-read the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and clean out the apartment -- this one is coming to 2019 with me!

Shoot and video an apartment tour -- same as above

Blog:

Write a long form blog post once a week -- I wasn't great but I wasn't horrible. 23 if I counted correctly! I think that number will rise this year with my 1st goal under the blog below. 

Show more casual and everyday style -- I did a better job at this in the beginning but it didn't seem to be what you guys wanted to see/buy. That and I love dresses. So we'll still work toward this one more this year and find out what works best for us both. 

Be better about emails -- I've been much better! Although I do slip out of ti here and there I'm usually always under ~40 in my inbox everyday. And that I count as a win. 

Get back to YouTube -- This also ebbs and flows. I get better and then I don't. Cant' speak much to it as I just started daily vlogging!

------

So that is where we stand with last years goals. It is what it is and I don't hold any remorse over my head. We're just here to set some new ones -- BUT there's a catch: they're to be accomplished in July of this year. Then in July, we'll recap and create some more for the last part of the year. I think it sounds like a pretty solid plan. So here we are: 

My Personal Goals: 1. Find a new job -- Fell pretty confident in this one but won't be hard on myself if in six months I'm still searching. I really hope I won't be but we will follow our hearts and see where this journey will take us.  2. Start meditating twice a week -- I would love to do this daily but committing to something everyday at this moment is a little hard and scary for me to do. So I'm hoping that by setting myself up for 2x a week (minimum), come July we can bump that number up some. I'm currently using headspace!  3. Read 6 books -- No better time to read than the present. I LOVE to read and I was so so good at reading so much. But in my busy schedule it was the first thing to go. I'm pretty free now so I'd like to set a goal for one book a month (minimum). And seeing that I'm able to read a book in 1-2 days I think we can do this! 4. Do a no-shop month -- I did this last March and really enjoyed it. I feel like I want to do it in February this year but we'll see what the schedule is like. If I did that, would anyone want to join me?? 5. One major apartment clean out -- I'm really good about getting rid of things but also really good at keeping more things once I've thrown other stuff out. Referring to the above, the author of The Life Changing magic of Tiding Up just came out with a Netflix show that I want to watch and I'm pretty sure will make me want to purge everything in my apartment. This should be fun! My Blog Goals: 1. Start to shift more into lifestyle content (vs fashion) -- I just feel like getting more personal with you guys this year. Can't you tell? I want to show off more of what my days look like, what helps get me through, my favorite items, etc... and less of this dress and this skirt. I love to write and I love to connect with you guys so that's what I want to do this year! 2. Update my media kit -- It's been on my list forreeevvverrrr but this should be an easy thing I can check off to-do! Let's just DO IT.  3. Shoot and film an apartment tour -- Ah yes. I've lived here going on three years and I WILL DO THIS. I just never feel like this apartment has been "done" but seeing as I haven't changed anything in over a year, I think we're about as done as done could be. This will be a top priory for me -- and should be a fun way of keeping me inside for one week of content in the winter (vs shooting something outside!) You can see my studio tour when I lived in Chelsea here via video and here on the blog. You can read more about my goals from last year here!

Source: http://www.coveringbases.com/2019/01/my-goals-for-july-2019.html

[chucksandjeans]

2018 in Review and Goals for 2019

It’s 8 days into the New Year and I finally set aside some time to reflect on the past year and also set goals for the upcoming 12 months. Disappointingly, I did do this retrospective in 2018, so I am unable to measure whether or not I did well. Broadly speaking, 2018 was a very busy year, but I remember a few years ago, I told myself “no excuses”. With that philosophy, shame on me for not prioritizing an hour or so to think about my own life.

 I read a blog this morning written by an individual who broke down his goals into the following pieces: Career, Personal and Hobbies, Home, Relationship, Friends & Community. I adapted this framework and modified the categories to fit my life. Let’s see how this works out:

 2018 at a glance

The first part of 2018 - before the wedding - was a blur. It was a whirlwind of moving into the house, launching Butter and setting up operations, going to Taiwan, Texas and North Carolina, attending several weddings, and getting things ready for our own wedding. These months were reactive, less-planned, and auto-piloted.

 The latter half of the year - post wedding - was also back-to-back with the mini-moon, Hong Kong and Singapore, post-wedding cleanup, getting the house into shape and then the holidays. Overall, I’d give myself a B+ for 2018. I am proud of myself and my wife for getting through these 12 months in one piece given the heightened intensity and complexity.

 And now, a bit more detail into each aspect:

Relationship

I married the love of my life. This woman complements my strengths and weaknesses and gives me a reason to wake up every morning. There have been times where I chose to be selfish and impatient and I will work on these shortcomings this year.

 As a couple, we went through big life moments, like the wedding, buying a home, getting into a car accident, and melting into one blob unit. It’s an exciting time in my life as I grow into the role of husband.

Family

The past year was characterized by events, parties, plans, schedules, money, accidents, and everything in between. Albeit more happy than sad events, everyone was stressed. It was a testament to what a family is, and finding the definition that works for us. I am happy that I was able to visit Hong Kong in 2018 and see family who I have not seen in a decade. It’s been too long and it was my fault that I prioritized traveling and new experiences over going home in the last 10 years.

Friends

The events of 2018 brought my social circle. From traveling to Taiwan with the boys to bachelor parties to weddings galore, I think this is one aspect of 2018 that I was able to excel in.

Career

I grew a lot professionally and personally. The lines have blurred between work and life as colleagues became friends and vice versa. The skills that I learned in 2018 have been invaluable to my growth, and I am happy to say that I have rounded out my skill set to include product, development and general management in addition to my quantitative background.Some highlights from the year include building and leading a high-performing team to launch a new product in the digital space, presenting in front of 700+ people at TechTO, seeing our product featured on Product Hunt, closing deals with big-name partners, learning basic web development, and winning an award recognizing me as an emerging leader. It’s amazing that it’s still possible to learn something new after a decade being out of school. I use to think that learning meant keeping up with the latest trends in a particular industry and reading the current state of X standards. In reality, it can be so much more than that.

Personal

My early 30s is another chance to redefine my life and character. It happens every 10 years or so, in my mind: at age 0, age 10, age 20, and now, age 30-ish. Life changes quickly but the most pivotal moments occur at the decade marks where I change along with everyone and everything around me. I don’t want to watch life go by and have it spin out of control. I want to take the reins and define for myself who I want to be.

 2018 was so busy that I didn’t sit down and think about life. From a broad-level identity perspective, I can do better. I did do well from a life-skills perspective though. In early 2018, I was uncomfortable drilling holes at home and freaked out over what are now seemingly small tasks. Now I am able to use my toolkit to diagnose, install and fix basic elements around the house. Handyman, not yet, but not an idiot either.

Travel

I flew a lot in 2018: Taiwan for Duncan’s bachelor party, Texas for my bachelor party, Raleigh for work, Mexico for our mini-moon, and Florida for the holidays. To be honest, I lost direction in traveling once I hit my “50 countries before 30 years old” milestone goal. That North Star was what drove me to be creative, bold and adventurous to seek out new places and commit to culture shock. Now, I have no goal and feel directionless, which may or may not be a good thing. On one side, it allows me to seeing things I really want to see, regardless of whether I’ve been to the place before. On the other hand, I don’t have a fire under my butt. Whatever the goal happens to be, I will set one.

Health

I can’t say that it’s been a great year for my mind and body. Stressing out over the many events of 2018, making excuses for not running, spending only 45 minutes at the gym vs. 60 in the past, and indulging in fatty foods more often, this year was bit out of the ordinary. But staying too long in out of the ordinary becomes ordinary, so the fix has to be made immediately. I did switch to meal prepping with the help of my wife which has been great, so kudos to her for that.

Finance

We did well given the wedding and house. Buying the home, procuring the first bit of furniture and supplies, paying vendors, trips here and there, unexpected expenses and daily living costs – these all made it exceptionally hard to balance the books. Cash was tight and we lived through one of the most financially difficult years of our lives to date. It did force us to be on top of our finances though which has given us a great set of skills and dialogue for what life has in store for us.

2019 and Stretch Goals

Relationship

I will continue to support my wife in her endeavors, and challenge her to be better every day. I will be a role model, make healthy and well-balanced choices that help us succeed as a couple, and be less critical. In tough situations, I will control my emotions and focus on the bigger picture, which means taking a step back more often. I will recognize events in our lives and celebrate those because life is too short to have no special moments!

Stretch: I will create and capture more memories outside of Instagram, through writing, photos or videos.

Family

Goal: I will work on being more present in the family and fostering a harmonious balance where possible. Striking a medium is important and I will take initiative on being the family man that I strive to be, which includes my immediate family, my parents, my in-laws and my extended family overseas.

Stretch: talk to at least 1 overseas family member once a month

Friends

Preamble: as the years go by, I am more appreciative of friends who stay in touch. Life gets busy and all around me, people are getting married, buying homes, having kids and moving up in their careers. All these things require constant re-prioritization of time and focus.

I will build on strong social bonds by reaching out, staying in touch, physically going to see friends, and recognizing special moments. This will be a challenge without the aid of weddings and bachelor parties but I am confident. At a more granular level, I will proactively reach out to friends on a more consistent basis either weekly or monthly, seek out those who I have not connected with in a while, and hang out with at least 1 friend once a month.

Stretch: hang out with 2 friends once a month

Career

I will think about my career more critically and plan out my path. Although it’s not possible to predict the future, it’s definitely possible to set goals and have criteria. The opportunity cost of making the wrong career choice is too big now, especially in my early 30s. It will be a blink of an eye before I am in my mid-30s, so from here to there…these need to be fruitful years. The role that I am in must provide me with new skills development, learning and intellectual stimulation, a strong team and network, upward mobility, reasonable compensation and good people. I will not settle for anything less. I will not let 2019 be a year that sails by as I sit idly staring off into the distance – 2019 will be a defining year.

Stretch: meet at least 2 new people every month who can help me in my career or gives me new ideas and add an international aspect to my experiences

Personal

Preamble: identities cannot be created or concluded definitively. It takes time. In my 20s, I don’t think I had a plan but I felt confident in my direction. I have to find that in my 30s.

I want to ignite that flame and give myself opportunities to find enlightenment, for lack of better word. What this practically means: I know who I am, I know what I am doing, and this is where my ship is headed. I will put time into soul searching, mind-exploration exercises, and philosophical debates to have a clearer answer by the end of 2019. I will also learn how to do more things around the house, like gardening (maybe) and doing basic electric (and plumbing?) work. I will read expand and relax my mind, which can span from reading to watching TV to playing video games. I’m not going to rub off video games and TV. I will do these things in moderation and be cognizant that it’s for relaxing the mind. I will write things down in my journal 1x a month and read 3 books this year. And lastly, I will be more organized. I will ask myself “does this make me happy” before buying things.

Stretch: write in journal at least 2x a month and read 6 books this year.

Travel

Preamble: April is the first trip of the year: Chile. It’s been 5+ years since I’ve been back to South America and I’ve always wanted to go to Patagonia so this trip checks multiple boxes. Additionally, the Andean air may give me that jolt and inspiration to LOVE travel again. I still love travel but I want to find that flame…to hit 50 countries…but now a new goal. Is it to try all the cultural flavours of the world? Is it to climb the peaks of the world? Whatever it is, I hope Chile will spark and awaken. Later in the year, the plan is to go to a wedding in Italy and then jet off somewhere nearby afterwards. I have yet to figure that one out. Lastly, there’s a brimming desire to add more of an international flavour to my career. I wonder what life has in store.

Find a new goal that revolves around travel and cultural exploration. I want to love travel immensely again.

Stretch: Eat a weird animal.

Health

Preamble: I am a proponent of making small decisions that eventually lead to bigger ones, which become habits and those then define lifestyle and character. In 2018, I did not make the best decisions and 2019 will mark my climb back to the top. I saw a picture of myself from 5 years ago and I looked great. Age is obviously a contributor to looking different but that’s no excuse to not live a healthy lifestyle.

I will continue to meal prep, choose more vegetables and fish over red meats, push back to 60 minute of gym, and drink more water. And yes, drink at least 2L of water daily. I will hit 158lbs by end of the summer and run an organized 5km run.

Stretch: drink 3L of water daily, 160lbs by end of summer and run an organized 7km run or two 5km runs.

Finance

I will go back to the way I use to plan finances, and have a more holistic and long-term view on how to grow the family net worth. This will mean a dedicated savings plan, an investment portfolio, perhaps a way to make money on the side, and a way to control costs such that we have enough to live and enjoy.

This post took over 3 hours from ideation to planning to writing. It was mentally exhausting but I managed to get it all down. I feel good. And now, time for execution. Let’s go!

[epic-games-official]

(transition stuff under cut, kinda nsfw text/tmi. just posting as like, a transition diary, and in case I’m mistaken about something and someone is interested in reading and chiming in to correct me)

I got my second T shot today, so I’m now 2 weeks on testosterone. So far the changes are:

* I smell different. This change kinda feels weird and took me by surprise. Like, I knew it would happen, but it’s just really weird waking up one day and realizing your underwear smells totally different. My skin is also a bit coarser and drier, which is also kinda weird, but w/e. My feelings are that it feels odd because it’s a sudden change to my body, but it’s not necessarily something I dislike.

* I’m actually already starting to grow more hair and even a little more facial hair fml. This is the change I didn’t want, so ofc it’s among the first to happen. Thanks, body. I’ll just have to invest in better shaving supplies, and I’m probably gonna want to get laser hair removal. I was thinking pre-T, “I’ll get laser hair removal when my beard is so thick it’s impossible to not have a 5 o’clock shadow, which hopefully will be like 1 year on T or later.” But for all I know my hairy Italian genes are gonna make this a pretty early and quick change.

* Only very slight changes in muscle mass. I’m working out at the gym, but I can’t even tell if I’m getting pecs ‘cause, yaknow, titties. I’ll just keep working on it and I guess I’ll find out after top surgery if I have pecs or not. I’ve heard it’s helpful to have them when getting top surgery because it helps the surgeon know where to place the nipples. I imagine it would also help fill the space where breast tissue was removed.

* On that note, I’ve submitted all the paperwork (and sent the doctor nudes/tit pics) for top surgery. So we’ll see where that goes. I’m pretty sure I’ll qualify for peri, which would be awesome. That surgeon’s definitely done peri on young people with B cups before. And from the results I’ve seen, it seems like he gets the nipple placement and size correct, which is usually what people’s reservation is about peri/keyhole. I’m a little anxious about the drains.

* I feel more energetic (of course, it’s literally taking steroids) and my mood is generally better and more stable for about a week after the injection, and then it starts to go downhill again. I’m going to switch to weekly injections after the next one.

* The injections don’t really hurt at all. I think removing a bandage is like 5-10x more painful. It feels like a light pinch and I don’t even feel the T going in.

* T is super cheap for me. I get like 4 shots per vial, and each vial is $10. The lady at CVS said to me, “Ten dollars for that? What a steal! You must have a really good insurance.” The vials are small ones, and the initial retail price was $26, so my insurance is covering about 60%. Also, my insurance covers 80% of my top surgery, which is really neat. Between my teaching assistantship and good insurance plan, I think that everything I need in terms of surgery seems affordable. If I can get a fellowship next year or the year after, this’ll be even more true. As of now I’m putting into savings like $10k/year, but with a fellowship it’ll be like $25k/year. Even better if I start up on Vanguard index funds.

* The only fat distribution I’m experiencing is more belly fat, fml again :’) I’m going to the gym 2-3x a week now, whereas I used to 1-2x a week, which is about enough to manage it.

* I started to experience chest pains but I don’t know if it’s the binder on my ribs, or my heart, so I just stopped wearing my binder and have been trying to avoid fats and cholesterol more. I’m also doing more cardio at the gym. I *think* it was actually both the binder and the T, so I’m just being careful with that. The pain went away with those adjustments.

* I’m also a lot sweatier and smellier and I need to start thinking about better deodorants and whatnot. For some reason this doesn’t bother me much, I’m more concerned of how it’ll bother other people if I don’t do anything about it.

* My voice hasn’t really dropped but oddly I feel as though I can hit a slightly lower range more easily. It’s hard to describe exactly. It’s like if you were singing and trying to hit a low note, and it became easier with a lot of practice. Except for me, I wasn’t practicing, I was just injecting myself with steroids.

* My clit is already growing which is pretty cool. It wasn’t really doing much in the waning period of my biweekly shot but I already felt like some shit was going on after 3 days. I don’t think there’s anything to indicate it’s going to be greatly above average in growth, but if it goes above 2 inches I’ll be pretty happy, if it goes above 2.5 inches, I’ll convert to Christianity. 

* Alongside that, my libido is slightly higher in general, but I don’t think I’m experiencing anything too crazy there yet.

* I haven’t had my period yet this month, and I’m due next week. We’ll see how that goes. It usually takes 2-4 mo for this to go away, and I’m on a low dosage, so I’ll probably have it.

All in all I’m feeling pretty neutral/happy with the changes so far. As was pretty much expected, the changes I wasn’t looking forward to (facial hair, body fat) are ones that are manageable, and the ones I was looking forward to (lower growth, better mood) are happening (although unfortunately my voice isn’t really dropping yet. that’s usually more in the second and third month from what I hear). And then there are some that feel odd because they’re new but I don’t particularly like or dislike them, like changes in smell and skin texture.