#but now i cannot move my toros. torso. again. ughhhhhhh

[laisai]

I am in so much pain tonight (flare up 😭) and I hd horrible insomnia last night (only slept 4 hours) so im just

anyway trying to think of happy things

one of which is Jing Yuan's fluffy hair. IT LOOKS SO FLUFFY? i want to touch it. I wish he were rea so i could pet his hair. someone on reddit described him as a confident, well-groomed cat and it's like. that is correct. he is such a satisfied big cat. i love him. i wanna pet him 😭😭

also the idea of jing yuan/dan heng/blade as this very tragic and cursed (literally not firguatively) ot3 is just. im dying here. there's not enough fic ahout them. at.least not in english. im so bad at writinf fic but at this rate if more people dont join the ship im gonna be annoyed into writing something (which will be left unfinished probably like my mdzs fics 😭😭😭😭)

but theyre SO tragic and angsty and dramatic!!! jing yuan stuck watching as his lovers ebd up in a life and death spiral that he can't save them from. stuck kn the sidelines with all his Duties as a general, stuck on the luofu raising yanqing (there was a very suspicious leak saying yanqing might be another hidden dragon boy and if so like. look. im not saying dan heng's love child bc the dragon people apparently don't reproduce but like. he will be their love child in my headcanons all right)

and then there's blade with his spotty amnesia and horrific pain and regenerating body and wanting to die abd being unable to. im in so much pain tonight and just imagining like. if that were to be me every day of my life but even death couldn't end it??? gods I'd be so insane. and then being like, the person i trusted most in the world INFLICTED this agony on me??? out of a selfish love???? dear gods what a tragedy banquet

and dan heng too!! his powers are sealed, he has the most complete ammesia out od all of them, he's like a teenager/young adult in memory but there's basically this old incarnation of his that haunts his every move, and he's being hunted down for something his past self did without knowing why. and also he was raised IN A PRISON for crimes he doesn't remember and didn't personally commit (except it WAS him) and then he gets exiled from his home abd people forever as a "mercy" by the guy who was supposed to care for his best interests (jing yuan)... even if that was ultimately a good thint since it got him on the express, it's still got to be bizarre and painful to long for a homeland you are exiled from abd also literally were barred from seeing much of, except during that day you got exiled.

and now everyone is back on the same ship!! i swear they wrote these three guys with like the tragic angsty shit that chinese BL often does, on purpose. it seriously feels like a rsuper tragic danmei novel lmao

😭😭😭😭 theyre living in my head rent free

please give them a happy ending together hoyo pleeeeease 😭😭😭

(knowing hoyo tho they're gonna drag this out for 8 years before killing at least one of them off permanently lmao)