#but now i can't unsee it like they are great in their roles but do not look remotely like teenagers

[autumnrory]

i don't want people working in television to be overworked but with some streaming shows i'm like what the fuck actually takes so long between seasons

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

Yes to that comic version of Bruce! 👏 (what did you think of the bale batman and battinson?) Jensen is a bloody good actor but I just can't process him as the bat I look at him and my brain just says 💗soft💗 I liked the bale batman- although I can't see him as batdad but I can somehow see battinson trying to parent lol Jon Bernthal would make a killer batman for sure. I find it soo hard to fancast and I always end up changing my mind

Who is your Alfred? I love Michael Caine Alfred and I quite liked the Alfred from the Gotham TV series

I can't unsee Brenton Thwaites as Nightwing like in my mind the way Hugh Jackman shall forever be Wolverine and Ian McKellen is forever Gandalf, Brenton Thwaites is now my forever Nightwing. I really really want a Nightwing movie so bad. Have you seen the YouTube Nightwing series?

I've never heard of Tanner Buchanan before, but yo the green eyes sealed the deal there 💚 I find Jason the hardest to cast tbh

Griffin Gluck!! Have you seen locke and key? that's the only thing I've seen him in, Felix Mallard was in it too, I can sometimes envision Felix as Jason sometimes not, I've not seen a fancast before that has made me be like yes that is 100% Jason, I liked the hbo titans version of Jason but only as the hbo titans Jason if that even makes sense, little dude did so good in that role 👏 but anyways sorry for the Jason tangent lol !Griffin Gluck Tim Drake hell yeah! This is partly crack partly not but mostly crack but I can somewhat see Rebal D as Tim Drake the energy in his YouTube videos is at times very Tim to me

I wish dc would even just make a short mini movie, like 15 mins long, about Bruce trying to be a responsible father and damian just being damian 🤣

I know the ages for this arent right but oh well lol, I think I'd fancast Chance Perdomo as Duke, Emma Stone as Steph and Violet Orlandi as Cass, for the life of me I can't come up with anyone for Babara? (I love Violet as Cass, she's not even an actress but she could sooo do it)

Thanks for giving your fancast!! And 10 000% yes to the Wayne Family Adventures it's so perfect, I need to start reading that again. But yeah if you have anymore casting ideas for the batfam or villians etc I'd looovee to hear!

Hi anon!!! This is an AMAZING ask!!! Thank you so incredibly much for taking the time to send it! 🥰

This answer is going to be a bit lengthy so I'm going to put it under the break. And I am planning on doing another post of fancasting like this one for the extended Batfam members so I might not address all your points here, but they will be coming very soon! 😘

First of all, I am a big fan of both Bale and Pattinson's portrayals. I have a hard time picking a favorite because their approaches to the character are so different and yet both valid. I am VERY interested to see what they do with Battinson moving forward since this first movie is still early in his time wearing the cowl where he is still figuring out what Batman should be. And I would LOVE to see him get a Robin in the sequel (preferably sticking with Dick like the canon) but we shall see!

I'm not sure if you've seen The Boys, but Jensen's portrayal of Soldier Boy is all the proof to me that he could nail portraying Batman. And his range in Supernatural (from being a gruff and heartless hunter one minute to breaking down in a softer, protective emotional side the next) solidifies for me that he could switch between Batman to Batdad when needed. And he's charming as hell so Bruce wouldn't be a problem 😂

I'll have my new fancast of Alfred on my next post, but from previous ones, Michael Caine is always my Alfred. I think Andy Serkis is a great version of Alfred for Battinson and is what that Bruce needs (and his performance is great as always) and I enjoyed Sean Pertwee in Gotham (once again, a great interpretation for what *that* Bruce needed). However, Michael Caine was my first live-action Alfred and he was SO PERFECT, I don't think he will ever be topped as my favorite.

To be fair, I think Brenton Thwaites had the look for Dick and I think he could have been a good choice if the show was different, but for me, I can't get over how much Titans tone and interpretation of the characters/stories rubbed me the wrong way. None of the characters felt accurate to me based on their comic counterparts and the studio just tried to be too edgy and dark. The perfect example is the "Fuck Batman" moment. It was all over the trailers and just seemed like something they wanted to push to be like "this ain't your parent's Robin" but they pushed things so far it didn't even feel grounded in the characters I love. (don't even get me started on the Red Hood plot line).

I have seen the Nightwing youtube series and they do a really good job with it! My hope for this new direction of the DC movies and the fact The Brave and the Bold will focus on Bruce and Damian's relationship is that it means they'll include Nightwing and maybe mention Tim now working with the Titans (you don't want to include too many characters in the first movie which is the problem a lot of superhero movies have made lately). And I also want a mention of Jason but not have him returned as Red Hood yet which would be its own movie later.

Speaking of Jason.... While Dick is my first Robin and will always have a very special place in my heart because of that, Jason is my favorite. I just love how complex and rich his character development and story is. I also find casting him really difficult because of that. However, I do think Tanner Buchanan has a good potential. I've seen him in a few smaller roles, but I know he is a main character in Cobra Kai so he does have experience with fighting he could bring to the role (I haven't seen the show but I did watch clips on youtube). And as you pointed out, those green eyes are a big plus!

I think Curran Walters does a good job in Titans for what the show wants of him, but once again, it's just not my Jason and I rage quit season 3 😂 (though I watched clips of key Red Hood moments from later in the season)

Tim is always the hardest member of the main Batfam for me to write or cast just because he is the one I have the least knowledge or experience with outside of fanfics. However, I still really like him as a character and think he has a lot of potential in a movie or show. And I haven't seen Locke and Key (though it is on my list because I LOVE Aaron Ashmore)

I am excited with the prospect of having Bruce and Damian together in The Brave and the Bold, but I am also very nervous about how they will characterize them. All the Batman projects since Batman Begins have skewed very dark and I don't think that works well if you bring in the whole Batfam (if they just want to add Dick with Battinson, I think that could work but not expanding it to the whole gang). But James Gunn's comments about making the new Superman movie more about kindness feels like it will be a brighter, lighter version (more like the Christopher Reeve movies than the Henry Cavill ones) which I feel is more accurate to most comics, so I am cautiously optimistic for the Batfam in these movies. However, the canon and fanon versions of the Batfam don't always match (neither does the canon version between comic writers), but I am still hopeful for the more loving version we want, and is portrayed fairly well in the DC Animated movies.

As for Duke, Cass, Steph, and Barbara, I'm going to include them in my next post so you will have to wait a little to get my thoughts on them as well as a few others😉

Though because you brought up ages I will mention that all of my castings are based on if I were making a movie or show today. There are a lot of different people I would have loved to have in these roles in the past that are unfortunately just too old at this point.

And just another shout-out to Wayne Family Adventures because it is everything I ever wanted from a Batfam comic/story!!! Plus, the art is so perfect! Yes, the comic is a lot of fan service, but it is really funny while also being deep and emotional at times. It never loses the heart of the characters and you can tell there is so much love in the project and for these characters. If we could get a show or even a web series of this version of the Batfam, it would be a dream come true!

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Happy Holiday weekend! Here are some replies…

Anonymous asked:

Have you read the Twisted Wonderland manga adaptation yet? I think you would really enjoy them

We haven’t and we don’t really plan to (since Yana Toboso didn’t work on them outside of some tidbits that we’re interested in, such as character’s younger versions design). But the artists for the manga did such a good job, that we really appreciate the art of it whenever we see someone posts it. The Tweels and Azul specifically look amazing.

Anonymous asked:

(with the jadesil asks but also just jade in general) mushrooms do look a bit like a certain... something, no? 🍆

They sure do. I wonder if Jade thinks about it… he certainly noticed it lol Especially considering that both of these things are kind of new to him…

“Oh, but don’t put the mushrooms anywhere please!^^”

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

So you ship CrewelTrein which is funny for me cause I honestly have a AU where Crewel is his out of wedlock child he didn't know about/headcanon as a father figure, so now with this ship being shown and lowkey agreeing with it despite my AU/thoughts now thought of Crewel being a student and being so frustrated by Trein he jerked it once and discovered he has a lot of daddy issues which includes a daddy kink but not him being called daddy or bottoming just Trein being "daddy" and he fucks him

lol I love how it turned into a “daddy issues/daddy kink” but WITH A TWIST

It could be funny if these two discovered they have a blood bond…but even if they don’t and Trein is just a father figure, it’s honestly even more funny, because having him as a father figure certainly didn’t stop Crewel from doing thing lol

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

OKay! BUT! Azul and Floyd walking in on Idia and Riddle either making out (with permission from their doms) or fucking each other with a double sided toy! (inspired by a comic I red of two subs making out before their doms showed up and boom fourway/double sided sex)

Alright, now I gotta know which one of these 4 saw this scenario in their head while they were asleep, because Idia and Riddle are probably the worst people for such a thing: not only they wouldn’t dare to do it by themselves, but to cooperate?? I wonder what would make them… well, ironically, Floyd could lol

(but the visual is like a classic hentai thing and would definitely leave Azul and Floyd kind of speechless lol)

dawnstar-33 asked:

I should be asleep rn but oh well Twst is more important...

Random thoughts I cant share with my friends (smh they wont watch playthroughs with me)

-Does that black streak in the tweels hair not annoy them? I'd be so mad about it especially as I have a similar haircut as the tweels 😭

-Twst x Mean girls!!! I can't remember where I saw it first, but now I can't unsee it! Vil as the one and only Regina George, Rook as Grechen and Cater as Karen! With Neige as Cady (World Burn is playing as I write this...)

-Not sure when I thought of this- Jamil and Kalim (either as a romantic or platonic attraction) with this one quote

"You're my soulmate, my life, but I'm not yours."

And that concludes my random thoughts at 3am 😭🫶

Twst really is more important than sleep lol I hope you sleep well though! And that your friend gives up and treats themselves by watching twst with you >:3

Here are my thoughts regarding your thoughts! Sorry for the late reply.

I think they’re very used to it lol Since they had to maneuver with it underwater ever since they were young… But I can picture Floyd accidentally catching it with his mouth and spitting in annoyance lol

LOVE Mean girls and the musical version is also great, HOWEVER! As someone who simps for both Vil and Regina, I don’t really think they’re similar. Vil has way too much dignity to do the “awww I love it how cute (I hate it it’s ugly)” thing, he’s usually just brutally honest lol And Regina is one messy bitch. Ironically, I feel like Azul fits the role better, despite not necessarily being a queen bee… I can definitely see Vil and Neige playing the roles of Regina and Cady though, it would be interesting. And infuriating for Vil, probably lol

Ohhh this is beautiful and sad. Yeah, Jamil and Kalim’s relationship with each other is quite asymmetrical on every level.

[spicybylerpolls]

I really can't unsee the sexual imagery now. This might have already been said (and if it has then I guess just ignore me? Lol) but - When Mike starts talking about the pen the unknown hero agent gave him. The pen that the unknown hero agent actually gave to Will, but whatever. And then he says "why would he give me a pen that didn't work?" He rushes over to Argyle, takes the pen and un-does it, revealing the number, and remarks. "It's the number. We've had it this whole time." Then, finally, when they go try and call the number they discover it wasn't a traditional landline, like they had expected, instead it was something newer, a modern idea, a computer they were calling.

Most interestingly, after Mike reveals the number from the pen, Argyle remarks "you got his digits man?" creating both a romantic and sexual undertone to the scene.

Aka - the pen is his dick, he doesn't know why it doesn't "work", when he finally comes to terms with his sexuality, he will realize it does work, "it's been here the whole time" and the reason it wasn't working was bc he wasn't attracted to what's traditional (girls) but instead whats new age (boys).

Unknown Hero Agent Man could even be seen as god in this symbolism, when Mike says "why would he give me a pen that doesn't work?" ((( This honestly makes me sad because it reveals a lot about Mike's character ☹️ and also would be proof that he's gay, not bisexual - sorry bi mike truthers )))

unknown, god is unknown

hero, god is idolized

agent = a person or thing that takes an active role, god is the creator

And lol, the unknown hero agent man (god) gives this pen to Will originally and then Mike takes ownership of it? Okay 😭

Also to be noted this happens right after Mike and Will's heart to heart where they talk about being afraid to reveal the truth. I was always so annoyed that Argyle cut him off. I wanted to hear what Mike was gonna say. Well, now I know, I guess. lol.

And see, I had already seen this symbolism through the lens of Mike's romantic feelings alone before, because it works there too. Never did I think about it in a sexual way until... I was introduced to this blog. And saw other posts about the sexual symbolism regarding Mike and Will's relationship, specifically in S4.

It's all just very interesting. How you can convey sexual themes without outright saying it. And honestly, I think that's nice. Because maybe we don't need these explicit scenes in every show, like Sex Education or something. Maybe we don't need it every season. But to remind people that yeah, this is a big part of their life, and specifically Mike and Will's struggle, through symbolism is great, honestly.

Also want to say that I hate that I feel I can't just post this on my own blog lol. I really hate that an open discussion about the literal themes in the show has to be censored. About something that is arguably the most natural thing in the world. Especially when this isn't even really referring to sex itself but rather Mike's struggle with it and would be such a big contribution to the byler fandom overall...

Anyway that was super long, sorry. Would love to hear thoughts about this?

Do you think Mike talking about the unknown hero agent man and the pen he gave to him is symbolism that Mike is frustrated about his sexual feelings for women (or lack thereof?)

1. Yes

2. No

3. Unsure

4. Possibly

Please note that the purpose of this blog is not to be creepy or to make anyone uncomfortable. That's why I created the #spicy byler tag (I will tag all polls with this). If you don't want to see this blog or anything related to it on your feed, please block that tag. Not everyone is comfortable with this sorta stuff, and that's okay.

[hidingoutbackstage]

Sid I'm inviting you to air our your woes on re6 with Chris's end I wanna hear them

Muahaha I baited you to send this ask I’m such a schemer. Anyway

Gonna start at the beginning, and by the beginning I mean the development of 6, because the original ending of Chris’ campaign has CHRIS infecting himself and sacrificing himself for PIERS, not the other way around. Already I’m going to start with saying that I think this ending is much better than Piers infecting himself and sacrificing himself for Chris. It is a dramatic and kind of satisfying ending for Chris’ story and his life.

Piers, in my opinion, is a direct parallel to Chris, going as far as to look like him and even be the same age as Chris was when RE1 happened. So this ending works as a way to pass on the torch from Chris to Piers (which also considers the somewhat consistent theme of RE6 being about the next generation of Resident Evil and likely being an attempt to shift the focus from old protagonists to new)

I guess the studio, someone or a group of people that were higher up in the company were like "Nope, you can't kill our poster boy" so instead of writing a new ending that still works with these characters, they decided to take the easy way out and go “Let’s just swap who sacrifices himself for whom and call it a day.”

This change makes the impact feel less great, in my opinion, because once you hear it was initially supposed to be Chris sacrificing himself and Piers being left to continue the legacy, you REALLY can’t unsee it and unsee it’s potential. The cutscene between the two men in the elevator where Chris says he wants Piers to take up the torch when Chris retires after this feels a lot more impactful if Chris dies on THIS mission and Piers immediately decides to honor his captain’s legacy and fulfill his request. The end scene with Chris at the bar being recruited for his next mission doesn’t feel like it’s come full circle, it feels like Chris is at rock bottom and nothing has changed, he lost his entire team and is feeling lonely but this time he isn’t turning to drink. It feels more fitting as a mirror of the first scene having Piers be in Chris’ former position, mourning, and being summoned by someone who’s now in his old position. It actually feels like the story came full circle.

Not to mention, Chris literally shows that he’s willing to die for the good of the world when he tells Jake to shoot him, it’d feels like he’s showing he’s serious about it if he infected himself to save Piers and take down the HAOS, then saved Piers by forcing him into the escape pod and leaving him behind. Chris is determined to eliminate bioterrorism, no matter the cost, and he’d definitely be willing to sacrifice his own life to keep one more B.O.W. out of this world. Piers being young and naive and desperately trying to save Chris because he hasn’t been as hardened by this world as Chris had again just feels a bit more akin to the vibe I feel like they were going for.

I know 6 didn’t give a shit about Marhawa Desire, but I do, and again I feel like Piers living would make that more impactful too. Piers promised Merah that he’d take out bioterrorism with Chris, Merah asked that of Piers, so Piers continuing on for both Merah and Chris is again, impactful.

Not to get too spoiler-y for Your Heart’s Still Beating, but Piers carrying on Chris’ legacy works in regards to my favorite AU, where he takes Chris’ role in 7 and 8. It works as kind of development for Piers, he isn’t Chris Redfield and his approach in the world of bioterrorism is different than Chris’. Could have been fun to see! Oh well.

Another tiny thing I would’ve preferred be different about the end of Chris’ story in 6 was to see Chris, Piers, Jake and Sherry all fight the HAOS together. It really felt like they were building up to that fight in-game, before Jake and Sherry left them for seemingly no story reason. Chris sacrificing himself could’ve been impactful there too if the four of them had escaped together, Sherry seeing the death of someone she admires (because ofc Claire told Sherry about her brother) Piers helpless to save his captain who he promised Merah he’d fight alongside to end bioterrorism, and Jake seeing the man who he literally pointed a gun at and told Jake he’d killed Wesker, now sacrificing himself for Jake and the others, that’s gotta hurt. Only exists in my mind ig

[divorcingjimmatthews]

Omg 🖍️ for Tabby and Kristi!!

JDHSJDHDH im so normal about s3 tabby i promise i am sooo normal about this (<- is literally bursting with joy and excitement at the very thought of s3 tabby). i've said it before i think letting tabby leave was a masterful writing choice so while i'm just basically waiting to be surprised by her out-of-fromville s3 journey i do have some things i'm dying to see in how the people she left behind deal with her absence. she's... so important and she's going to be SO MISSED. jim jade and victor care a lot for her in different ways and they all played a part in helping her get out but they won't know that she's well :') will they blame each other? support each other? will julie and ethan blame jim for letting her go? will victor regret helping her and close off again? i don't know. basically what i'm saying is: what i want to see from tabby is the huge hole she's gonna leave behind. i hope the writers hold nothing back even tho it's gonna hurt to watch

i was really really happy to see the direction they took with kristi this season as well, i honestly never expected the marielle twist (i thought they were going to drag on her kenny dilemma until the very end of the show LOL) but it was so fresh and brilliant imo. also it gave us an important clue about the town (letting us know that time does not move differently in and out of the town, both kristi and marielle were in agreement that she kristi been gone for six months). what i'd like to see more of in s3 for her is her rebuilding her friendship with kenny and also potentially exploring other relationships. i think it was interesting how different the "true" kristi is from the "role" she had been playing as the town doctor (the version of her that kenny fell in love with) and it was honestly epic how marielle was able to make her feel like herself again. so what i want to see now is the real kristi interacting with the rest of the characters as this truer version of herself. i'd also love to see her take on a trainee — maybe julie? idk why that thought came to me but now that i've seen i can't unsee. she and marielle can be great queer role models for her as well <3 (you have to do this kristi... do you really want her queer role model to be jade???)

[litcityblues]

Doctor Whoquest Part Eight: Mythology Covers The Plot Holes

I like Matt Smith in the role, I do. I don't mind Amy and Rory and River Song is one of the most interesting characters in Doctor Who, but this season- which admittedly, was split into two parts- so that might have something to do with it- is so strange because there's a gaping plot hole in it that just sort of gets... ignored. And once you see it, you can't unsee it and as a result, it just kind of hung over the whole season for me.

What's the plot hole? Amy's baby.

Think about it: Amy is kidnapped early in the season (I think it happens very early, in Day of the Moon, if not before)- she's pregnant, and she's replaced by a ganger (whom we meet in 'The Rebel Flesh') and the hidden secret behind the first part of the season is the Doctor realizing that something is wrong and then it all culminates in 'A Good Man Goes To War'.

What 11's run is very good at are those big, epic, myth-making moments. The score always works perfectly. (Mad Props to Murray Gold, who is absolutely cooking through 11's run.) But while the big, epic mythology of 'A Good Man Goes To War' might allow you to fudge past the plot hole, it can't cover it up completely.

Amy's baby.

She is rescued. She thinks she's free and her baby is safe and then it literally explodes into a bunch of ganger goo in her hands. The Doctor says, 'She'll be safe, I promise it' and runs off and that's... kind of all we hear about it.

Now, there's a school of thought that says- hey, she gets a fully formed adult time-traveling child. She didn't have to do diapers or the teenage years and when Melody is Mels, their childhood friend (in 'Let's Kill Hitler'), she also gets to grow up with her daughter. She also runs around with a madman in a box and travels in time and fights aliens and shit-- maybe it's unrealistic to expect her to have a normal mother-daughter relationship.

That's totally fine. But also, she's pregnant. She's carried this child. She's bonded with this child. She's had this child and held it in her arms and all of that is snatched away from her in the blink of an eye. You're telling me that she's not the least bit traumatized by that? I'm a Dad and I sure as shit would be. That would fuck me up if someone had literally taken my baby and then I got him back as a fully formed adult. (Yes, I know she kills Madame Kovarian, but... not in a mean way. Had she stabbed her or shot her or something, that would have been a far more impactful moment, I think, but she just sort of puts the eyepatch back on and lets her fry to death. Yes, in agony. Bit cold-blooded. But not nearly as impactful as the trauma would suggest, to me.)

Big gaping plot hole aside, there are some excellent things about this season of Doctor Who. The Silence is an excellent and I believe shiny and brand new villain for the Doctor to grapple with. Moffat and company also seriously dial up the creepy/horror aspects this season with episodes like 'The Rebel Flesh'/'The Almost People', 'Night Terrors' (holy shit, those wooden dolls), and 'The God Complex' and while I don't think you need to shoehorn in everybody we've ever met over the course of 11's run into the finale, it worked. It worked really, really well.

Three Episodes I Liked

'The Impossible Astronaut'/'The Day of the Moon': New Villains in the Silence! President Nixon looks nothing like President Nixon and kind of sounds like him! America! Great beginning! So much to like in the two-parter to start the season-- great solution to The Silence problem at the end, but probably my favorite moment is when the Doctor tells the Secret Service that they're not going to shoot him and River bum rushes out of the TARDIS to yell, 'THEY'RE AMERICANS!' I know it's coming but it makes me chuckle every time.

'A Good Man Goes to War': I've just spent a considerable amount of time criticizing the big, epic myth-making moment for crowding out and attempting to paper over gaping plot holes, but here's the thing: Moffat is so good at these. 11 is so good at these. And Demon's Run might be one of his very best moments throughout his run.

'The Doctor's Wife': It's written by Neil Gaiman which is really all you need to say, but it's also a really interesting twist of personifying the TARDIS and letting them interact together.

Two Episodes I Didn't Like

'The Girl Who Waited': This was the episode to explore Amy's post-kidnap trauma. Instead, we return to Amy's abandonment from the previous season. It's not bad, but it also feels like we're doubling back to last season to revisit stuff we've seen before.

'Closing Time': 'The Lodger' worked from the previous season and I don't mind going back to it but it's just... okay. Decent enough. But, you know... eh.

One Episode To Consider

'The God Complex': Another creep-fest- and you could easily slide 'Night Terrors' into this slot, but I like the twist in this one. It's really well done- and a nice homage to 'The Shining' with setting in a hotel. Don't remember seeing this one the first time through, so it felt fresh to me.

Overall: When it works, it works really, really well and when it doesn't, it's kind of 'meh'- but happily, big, epic, myth-making moments are where Moffat excels and Matt Smith really, really takes off. (In all of this, I realize I also failed to mention the Tessalecta, which is something I hope we see again because it's cool. I also have questions about it.

My Grade: 7/10

[acourtofthought]

Is Lucian poc? I get confused by some peoples talks about the matter. He is initially compared to looking lkke Beron in the first book. But then in book 3 Feyres says he looks like Helion. So to me..he reads as white passing, because I imagine Beron would have killed him off if he was visibly not his. I don’t know. I’m confused. I’d appreciate your input?

To sum it up, Lucien is 100% a POC!

Now to further discuss. I understand your confusion because SJM retconned that. We were told something in book 1 that didn't line up with information presented to us in later books and sometimes your first impression of a character sticks in your head.

Here's the thing though. My little sister is adopted (originally from Guatemala). I'm Caucasian and pale to the point that you can see my veins pretty much all year long (not a good look, let me tell you). My oldest sister, who I am blood related to) has red hair and Amber eyes. My half brother has blue eyes and blond hair. But because my adopted sister and I both share brown hair and brown eyes, we're told we look the most alike and she's been told she looks like our mother without people knowing her background.

She really doesn't look like either one of us but sometimes we humans do this little thing where we like to draw comparisons to what we're familiar with even when we're totally wrong. So it could be said that Feyre, having no awareness of Lucien's real father as it's later revealed, saw Lucien standing next to a man and drew conclusions because she didn't know any better. Not to mention Lucien is mixed. His mother is white (from everything we've been told). When you have someone who is mixed, they can look a whole lot like one parent, a lot like the other parent or a combination of the two. I've seen a bunch of Tik Tok videos of a POC holding what is an extremely pale baby with blonde hair and blue eyes. The captions say they constantly are told their baby must be adopted when they are in fact their biological child. That baby, regardless of which parent they favor in looks is still a POC and will grow up being proud of the race that they received from each parent even if they only look like one of them.

Even though we can provide real world explanations for why Feyre was mistaken in book 1, I think the simple fact is that SJM ended up realizing she needed a new storyline for Lucien. Whether that was because she decided Elain would be his mate and she knew Elain wasn't destined for the Autumn Court or whether she decided she wanted Eris to have a bigger role so she needed to free up the Heir to the Autumn Court Throne, I'm not sure. But she definitely switched his appearance up and that is the one we now should be holding on to as canon.

It doesn't seem like a lot of the characters have suspected at this point so I understand why readers have a difficult time imagining exactly how he looks. Lucien himself doesn't seem to question who his actual father is (though maybe we'll find he suspected in later novels). Feyre and Rhys being face to face with Helion and Lucien managed to put it together but so far it seems they are the only ones and now that they've seen it they can't unsee it so it's become completely obvious to them. Regardless that they are the only ones who have admitted to knowing, that doesn't change that he's a POC though. Even if he looked 100% like the LOA (because, like I said before, people can strongly resemble one parent from a mixed couple), he is a POC. We know he has Helion's nose and smile and a darker coloring that his brothers.

I believe @moononastring made a really great post on how Helion might be of Egyptian descent though I apologize if I am not remembering that correctly. All I can say is whoever he looks like or whether he's a perfect blend of the two, our boy lucked out in the gene pool.

As far as Beron suspecting, they did briefly touch on this in the books. There's a good chance he knows Lucien isn't his (which is why he's always treated him horribly) but to draw attention to it would mean admitting to everyone that his wife stepped out on him which would be more than his ego could bear.

[promiseiwillwrite]

All that's left

last night I sat in the grass beside my oldest raised bed garden and popped the mature flower heads off the little branches of my chamomile plant. I told my partner that I had a whole bowl full of "chill the fuck out" when I was finished.

I think back to where I was three years ago, before I accepted that I needed to get my mental health shit together in a real and lasting way, and I am sad for all the time I lost, while not seeing my distortions. But they were made for me to protect myself when those who should have been in charge of that were not really capable of it.

I have walked away from people and religion and so many thoughts about self worth, and how you get it. I have come far enough to be proud, and to see that I have done hard work. And I see that there is more work yet to do. Like learning what my energetic and bandwidth limits will be when I am not urgently trying to self improve at all times. I think that part of my life is finally coming to a close.

And there is no path back. I can't unsee the distortions. There will be no recapturing of my illusions. I guess it isn't a bad thing that I have genuinely come to prefer real life to role play. Not that I don't get all the feels from a good story.

I cannot convey what it is like, after spending 40 years trying to be a good person, a desirable person, a smart and useful person, to set aside that trying.

My entire life has been agonizing performance art, and I quit. Not because no one sees, but because I will be okay even if no one cares about me when I am none of the things I thought they expected me to be.

I no longer live on someday. Most of the time, I don't worry about a thing more than ten days out. My future used to be years deep, filled with expectation and overwhelm. Filled with shoulds and potential value/external validation creation.

My past used to be a great weight, holding me back as I struggled to reach it.

But the chains of the past were never real. They were just stories I told myself about myself. And the future could never contain any of the things I imagined, because we can never get there, much less give me anything useful or desirable when I no longer value external validation.

But I have to admit it is a little daunting. The Nothing that lies before me. It is pregnant with potential and barren like the Gobi.

Is this peace? Did I get it after all?

I may have finally caught the car, but now I have no idea what to do with it. I guess maybe I will try and figure out who I am.