#but now I have stuff and am BERY happy

[an1d10t]

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I’m in Amsterdam rn. I have new books, this plushie, I have a new mushroom necklace and I’m going to buy a butterfly.

Also

There are so so so many cheese and stroopwafel stores

[spoonshapedlikeafork]

I am so lucky and happy that we have modern technology.

I live in oklahoma, my boyfriend lives in california, but right now, at this bery second, we are sitting together in a call watching ghost videos together. Isnt that amazing? Because people saw a vision of the future, i was able to meet the love of my life and bond with him and watch silly little videos and stuff.

[stargazer-balladeer]

Hi can I ask for B, C and N from the SFW Alphabet Edition for Kaeya and Diluc(Genshin Impact)? I really love your writing!❤️❤️👌🏻👌🏻👀

Characters(s): Kaeya Alberich and Diluc Ragnvindr

Notes: Aww. Thank u bery much 🥰🥰 I actually don’t like how I write HAHAHA I feel like there’s much more better writers than me, so why am I wasting my time writing this nonsense? Hope you’ll like this!

Warnings: none

| MAIN PAGE |

Kaeya Alberich

B= Bestie (Do they act like best friends while dating? How comfortable are they with you?)

♡Yeah, a little bit. He’s still himself afterall, flirty, coy, and mysterious. In Kaeya’s dictionary, the term “best friend” means “worst enemy”. So he might not consider you as his best friend, only his lover that he wants to be with forever.

♡Of course Kaeya’s comfortable with you. Do you know how hard it is for Kaeya to trust someone? Many still wonders to this day how on earth did you manage to let Kaeya befriend you and date you. He’s not really willing to share his secrets with you, since he still likes to keep it a secret. Hope you don’t mind it.

♡If there comes a time where Kaeya revealed a secret to you, please don’t share it with anyone else 🥺 The reason why he told you is because he trusts you alot. Don’t break that trust (or else Kaeya wouldn’t trust you again..)

C= Cuddles (How often do they cuddle? How are they when they cuddle? What cuddle position do they like best? Are they the Big Spoon or Little Spoon?)

♡Kaeya likes cuddles. He likes pulling you and just hold you in his arms as he takes in your scent. He’ll most likely to drift off into sleep while cuddling. He loves cuddles especially after a hard day of venturing out, duties as Cavarly Captain and other stuff. He just wants to sink in your arms and stay there.

♡Cuddles are not that often, but its still considered a normal thing for both of you. He just wants to be in your presence after being gone for atleast a few hours (or days or months).

♡Unlike what most people believe, Kaeya isn’t really talkative while cuddling. Around this time, especially after a hard day, he remains silent as he bask in your presence. This is the only time you’ll ever get to see Kaeya so.. soft. Like previously stated, Kaeya most likely would doze off while holding you. Also Kaeya doesn’t tease while cuddling, he just wants to enjoy this moment with you.

♡Like most people expect, he’s hella cold. How is his temperature so cold?! (He’s a fucking ice-user of course). Since Kaeya is aware of how cool his skin is, he likes trailing his hands behind your back or your arm, which makes you shiver.

♡Kaeya isn’t that picky in cuddle position. His only condition is as long as he can hug you. Kaeya’s the big spoon, no doubt about it. But if he has a bad day or tired day, he will become a little spoon as he nuzzle his face into your neck (hopefully you’re not ticklish there 😢).

N= Nicknames (What do they call you? Do they call you these in public as well? How often do they call you in nicknames?)

♡Kaeya would generally call you, “babe”, “love”, “flower”, and all those cringy nicknames. Most of them are for teasing you though. Now, what does he call you if he’s in a loving mood? Simple, your name or given nickname :) It might not look like much for a outsider (No, not Aether or Lumine) but to those close to him (COUGH Diluc COUGH) can clearly see how his eyes shone with affection when Kaeya calls out your given name. Kaeya doesn’t know the reason why he loves your name, he just does.

♡Yeah, even those love-sickening nicknames. He calls you in those nicknames quite often, I assure you. Everyone, including Jean & Diluc (unfortunately), already knows atleast 50 different nicknames that Kaeya gave to you. Some may gag, some may swoon, some may glare. It doesn’t matter. Kaeya doesn’t really care about other people. He just wants to see your face burst in red in embarrassment (a forever amusement of his...)

♡It’s not often that he calls you by your given name, but when he does. He just wants to let you know he loves you. He might be all talk and talk, but when declaring his love for you, it ain’t that simple. So you two have a unspoken rule that whenever Kaeya calls you by your name, it means he’s telling you those 3 words.

♡”[Y/N]..—“ “I love you too, Kaeya.”

Diluc Ragnvindr

B= Bestie (Do they act like best friends while dating? How comfortable are they with you?)

♡Diluc is closed off, he never lets anyone near his heart. I don’t think he has that many friends, but if he has, it’s only limited. For him to see you as a partner and friend, well, that’s a bit hard for him. Since in his view, treating your s/o is different with how you treat your friends. But nevertheless, Diluc is happy to lend a shoulder if you need one.

♡For him to enter a relationship to you is already quite surprising in itself. He won’t be comfortable right away, heck, he might be awkward and embarrassed all of the time. But over the time you two spend together, Diluc would eventually be comfortable with you.

♡Unlike his adopted brother, Diluc is willing to share his past with his s/o if they ask for it. If they don’t ask, then Diluc wouldn’t mention it. Afterall, why stay in the past when you have something right here in the future?

C= Cuddles (How often do they cuddle? How are they when they cuddle? What cuddle position do they like best? Are they the Big Spoon or Little Spoon?)

♡Diluc is always busy, being the head of the Wine Manor, running the tavern, being a vigilante in the night, yep, busy alright. But surprise surprise, cuddles are quite frequent. Especially after a busy day, all he wants is to bask in your embrace.

♡Cuddling with Diluc usually results in him passing out from exhaustion. But if its a normal day, he still remain quiet as he cuddles with you. He’s not much of a talker, even with you. It’s either you talk or stay quiet as well.

♡Like Kaeya, Diluc’s body temperature is based on his Vision. So his body temperature is higher than the usual body heat. After a cold chilly day, you dubbed him as your personal heater (much to his amusement and embarrassment). He likes running his fingers through your hair and playing with strands of it.

♡His favorite so far is when you sit on his lap and hug him. It might be embarrassing for him but he loves it. The first time you did this, he was so flustered and embarrassed (much to the maid’s amusement). Another favorite of his is when you two are laying on bed while holding each other. He loves placing his head on your head and smelling it (not in a disgusting way, mind you 😒). He loves your scent very much and has a calming effect on him. These are only his favorites, though he doesn’t mind any cuddle position.

♡Diluc’s definitely the big spoon, no questions asked. He just likes the feeling like he’s protecting you as you two cuddle. It makes him feel safe and calm, knowing he can protect you immediately if danger comes.

N= Nicknames (What do they call you? Do they call you these in public as well? How often do they call you in nicknames?)

♡Diluc isn’t too fond of nicknames, preferring to call you by name or a short-cut of your name. But there is a few nicknames he can call you, like “love”, “darling” and “goddess”. He calls you these by accidents actually, which promptly results into a red Diluc. After that, he calls you these absentmindedly. Like, “love, can you get that for me?”, “darling, that’s enough drink for tonight.” and “you need to watch your steps, goddess.” (These are all accidents since he’ll never call you these normally).

♡He may or may not have called you the nicknames above, once or several times. Even if he doesn’t realize it, everyone is bound to hear what he said. Everyone was patting him by the back and congratulating him (much to his confusion and, later, embarrassment). Donna can also be found crying in the corner 😢

♡Accidentally. So quite often actually since it’s like a instinct for him to call you these. He always scolds himself for calling you that. It’s either you step in or watch this poor man suffer (please choose the latter, he might die from constant embarrassment).

[trafalgar-ravni]

this is the anonymous christmas ghost for ur one piece secret santa ooooOOOoOOoOoOooo 👻 i was wondering if u could tell me more about ur oc bc i love him so much and *cracks knuckles* i wanna draw him RIGHT

Although that ask/message/whatever you wanna call it is “outdated” I want to answer to it nonetheless. Because I´m in the mood to talk about my boy Ravni now. Since he´s a selfinsert Oc non One Piece related information also refers to me with exception of the name...so I´m kinda talking about me here. The information isn´t well-ordered since I write them down how they pop up in my mind. It´s mostly personal stuff and I think most of it is also quite boring and not interesting at all but thanks for showing interest in my uninteresting boy xD

-His full name is Utgardmåne Ravni. Utgard is the name of the underworld aka realm of trolls and giants in norse mythology, måne is swedish for moon and Ravni is derived from the name Ravn (literally just added an i because I think it sounds nicer) which is a name that means raven in norwegian -Later on in his life though his name will be Trafalgar (D.) Ravni. If they even take the name of their spouse in the One Piece world I don´t even know that. Couldn´t find any information. But whatever -So yeah obviously I guess I have a selfship with Trafalgar Law. What a surprise since I literally have “Trafalgar Laws husband” in my bio am I right? I love my dear surgeon of death a lot and was told we would fit and I agree so heyyy why not? -He was born on the 26th September in the Lvneel Kingdom in the North Blue -Before the timeskip he´s 18 and after he´s 20 -He´s 1.68 m tall -Since he left his home with 16 he became the sniper of the Heart Pirates. Being a good sniper somehow runs in his families. Both maternal and paternal -His bounty is 69,000,000 Berry/Belly/Beri/Beli. I didn´t want to give him a very high one but also not low...I dunno. I´m very sorry if it´s too op I have no idea of the bounties I have to admit -He is autistic so he experiences the world a little...different? Very sensitive with noises. Little to no communication skills. Lack of empathy. Insisting on routines. Afraid of getting touched by strangers or people he doesn´t like. Hard of understanding. No eye contact. Afraid of big changes. Very nervous around strangers, in crowds and when talking in front of several people. The latter is almost impossible though because panic attacks are faster and won´t let him do it in the first place -When he reads things he often repeats a sentence he just read. It isn´t really forced but he also doesn´t really want to. No one knows why -He spends most of his time alone with drawing or reading. Or with Law by his side if he isn´t busy that moment. Rarely even others of the crew who he grew close with over time. Mostly Bepo though to get comfort since he´s very clingy and Law isn´t always around or doesn´t always want to deal with that burdock. So sometimes only soft bear hugs -Although he loves being alone he gets lonely rather quickly and depression kicks in really hard. When that´s the case he either cuts, burns himself with matches or smokes. He always sweared to never smoke but since he once did it while being sad the urge often overcomes him while feeling down -When he´s hurting himself he mostly does it when he´s feeling down while Law is not present aka he´s busy with whatever. So to get some attention from his dear doctor boyfriend who then gets to nurse his cuts. Because he often worries that Laws love for him fades over time and then feels his love for him through the worry during this -When he´s as sad as he can get he stops crying and instead starts to laugh. It´s like a defence of his body against the sadness since laughing makes happy. The same is the case when he accidently hurts himself. He just laughs -To make himself less nervous in intense situations he jokes around. Since he should be serious in such moments other people don´t understand and find it inappropriate -Oh by the way he´s goth. Black and black and black. Or at least very dark. Black clotbes, black makeup, black nail polish, black everything. But cute Hello Kitty socks beneath the black boots -When a feeling of his gets too strong he starts to cry. It doesn´t matter what emotion it is. Anger, happiness, love, doesn´t matter -He´s a quite selfish and jealous person when it comes to his partner. Aka Law. When they are out and people stare at Law (no one can tell me that doesn´t happen. My husband is fucking hot. Way too hot for me to be honest) then his shyness is completly gone and he wants to kick their butt so hard they´ll land on the moon. It´s not that he doesn´t trust Law. He trusts him more than anyone else. He just doesn´t trust strangers who make moony eyes at his husband -But hey yes he isn´t scared of going into public while having Law by his side. He couldn´t feel any safer and protected -Ah how Ravni and Law even met and how Ravni got into the crew? When Corazon and Law visited Lvneel Kingdom to search for a cure they met the first time! So they´ve known each other for quite a while. But of course they weren´t friends and especially not a couple that early. Law knew how good of a sniper Ravni was so he wanted to have him in his crew. But Ravni needed to prepare himself first because changes are a problem. And leaving his home to set sail and having no idea what can happen sure is a huge change. But ventually he managed and joined the Heart Pirates. Hooray! -He´s a giant metal head. Black metal, heavy metal, nu metal but most importantly death metal.  I don´t think there aren´t any known musicians/bands of that kind in the One Piece world but let´s pretend! His dear cousin Utgardmåne Grim is one that´s enough

[imz1-z1]

MADMEN

First group under MM Entertainment

They are reason MM entertainment changed to music label from the dance studio

Debuted in 2017 with song called Bir Qadam, debut MV was for Beri Jaqynda

Their fandom name is MADwave 

Besides their group activities all members do other jobs such as being dance teachers, because they pay for their MV’s themselves!

Watch their documentary with English subs here

Aron

Roman Park  Born in 16.09.1997, Almaty Half Korean Family: mother, sister (his sister have twins)

He is Mad Men’s leader, rapper and dancer. He makes some of their choreos too

Aron is a huge Blackpink fan and his bias is Jennie. He also like BTS, Bigbang

Have 12 tattoos, some of them are same with Khvan Ruslan

Aron said he won’t take anymore tattoos

Eclipse tattoo on his clavicle is unfinished one

His first tattoo was “Be yourself” which he got when he was 17 and it’s most meaningful to him

His favorite tattoo is girl in the arm

Aron had piercing on his lips

Can play piano and dombra, went to dombra classes because of girl

Have trypophobia and claustrophobia

Aron have a cat which name is Ikki and dogs (Richard and Hika)

He wants to have two kids

Likes manga

Aron is interested anything that develops you spiritually and physically

Likes sleeping, sleeping and sleeping

People call him sleepyhead

Loves pizza

Coffee lover

“For eating there is a separate place in my heart.”

Ideal girl (2017): No one knows what kind of person we’re going to love, maybe they're gonna be the complete opposite of the ideal. That’s why I don’t have an ideal type. But there are qualities that I like. Those who have excellent taste in clothes, can cook well, with restraint and kindness.

In 2018 answered to same question again saying: I look at the soul not the looks

Joined to Madmen because of Tim

His closest friends are Tim, Khay and Khvan Ruslan

Aron’s favorite color was long time purple but then he changed it because too many liked that color

“I’m not an expert at love, so I’ll say one thing, happiness is worth fighting for.”

Aron never have regretted anything in his past because for him it makes him the one who he is today and that’s why he doesn’t even want to fix anything from this past

“You shouldn’t regret something that has happened.”

Have said that what inspires him is past, this moment and future

“I want to stay true to myself, stay the way I was born, the way my mother raised me.”

He likes that things are in order

People think Aron is very responsible leader and he takes care of people really well

Bad habit: licks his lips too often

He isn’t punctual

If he would have superpower he would like to heal people

For him ideal day would be spend whole 24 hour in one day with his mom (2019)

He doesn’t really watch movies, but during quarantine he did watch some

After graduating from school he didn’t continue to uni

Secret talent: he learns choreos very easily

He did describe himself in three words: stubborn, not punctual and hot-tempered (2019)

Aron doesn’t like people who smiles at you but talks bad behind your back

When he was 16 he did run away from police (NTK interview 2020)

Have drank so much that he couldn’t remember a thing in next day (NTK interview 2020)

Never kissed a girl in first date (NTK interview 2020)

“I always think of my loved ones.”

“I want to tell you so that you always remain the same regarding the circumstances. Never listen people who surround you and go to your goal. Do what you like. Wear the clothes you like. Just stay independent.

Khay

Tin Khai Lun aka Khay Born in 11.08.1999, Almaty Korean

His position in group is lead vocalist and lead dancer

Scared easily

Khay had opportunity to live in South Korea but decided to debut with Madmen

His fave food is Tteokbokki and lagman

Loves spicy food

Studied in School of Fine Arts: art and technical design

Speaks Russian, English, some Kazakh

Started dancing in 2010

In 2012 started to listen Kpop because went to Korean Festival

His favorite singer is GD

Hobbies: drawing, playing basketball, dancing

Can play guitar and piano

Ideal girl (2017): Cheerful and well mannered. With smiling eyes. Girl should have a good appetite and a great sense of humor. Understanding and sharing my interests. I like the looks of the singers: IU and Jisoo.

Khay has been wearing glasses since 1st grade

He likes to solve Rubik’s cubes, his record is 49 seconds

People say it’s easy to get along with him

Mark

Alikhan Asen aka Mark Born 24.07.1999, Shymkent Kazakh

Group’s vocalist

Before Madmen he was in Sevenlight, after Sevenlight disbanded he did solo stuff

He is still close with some 7light members (Sai, Kael)

Have said that Kael is his best friend

Is closest one with Aron in Madmen

When he was in 7light he did cook for the members

Likes to play guitar, but can play dombra as well

Religious person

"Being good human as much as I can, don’t jump in front of anyone, not thinking misdeed about human beings, not making bad things."

Qualities which he likes in people: I like those who don’t be stilted and be real, honest, positive. People who are LOYAL to their own work, to the ones they walk with.

Qualities which he doesn't like in people: Telling many lies, being stilted, thinking of only themselves getting something illegally, jealousy, vaunt

He is scared of snakes and spiders

Ideal type (2021): I’m thinking, there are characters as many as the amount of people living. Every person is not the same, so I cannot say “yeah that’s my type”. I think the person you really love becomes the ideal for you even though they have minuses. There is no standard “ideal”, every person changes it according to their choices. Am I right?

Mark prefers to write Kazakh in Latin alphabets

Said that his bad habit is that he is so sensitive

Since 4th grade he have been doing music

Did learn to play guitar by himself because his mother wanted him to play dombra

Mark moved to Almaty to study

Moora

Alimurad Ibraimov  Born in 06.12.2000, Tashkent, Uzbekistan Kazakh Family: mother, three older sisters (Kamila, Akzhanat)

In Madmen his position is vocalist

He can play piano

Haven’t dated yet anyone

Moora’s first book which he did read was “The Little Prince”

He have played basketball 

Loves anime especially Naruto

Moora got his first tattoo in 2020

Shy but when he is comfortable with people he is loud

His favorite cartoon is Lion King

People say he is smart

Said that his bad habit is laziness

Perfect day: To be home with his relatives

Likes to play video games for example Tekken and Mortal Kombat

Before joining to Madmen he was in dance group called LevelUp

Have said that his closest friends are Aron and Rem, he even got necklace from them which he cherish a lot

Prefers black when wearing clothes

"This is my life, this is my world." - about his family

His favorite food if meat but he likes everything which have tomatoes in it

When he was asked to describe himself in 3 words he said: Lazy, gets angry easily but calm fast as well

"My mood gets up every time because of my mom"

Speaks Kazakh, Russian and English, prefers using Russian

Aron was Moora's first choreographer in MM

M

Born in 8.12.1999, Kyzylorda, Qarmaqshy region Real name: Ahmetqali Madiyar Mazityli Height: 178 cm

People call him Madi, he didn't want to have this as his stage name so people wouldn't confuse him to Madi Rymbaev

He likes to listen Bruno Mars, Maroon 5

Before he became MM trainee he was in Qpop group called RedBlaidd, they did one song and disbanded due different views

Madi’s cousins are Ace from Ninety One and Ash from NKI

He is choreographer under MM entertainment

Speaks Russian and Kazakh

In group he is vocalist

His favorite food is burgers

Likes to eat a lot

Before he joined to Madmen he was in Madness

One of his closest friend is Madness's Sula

He is extrovert

Likes watching anime, especially Naruto

FORMER MEMBERS

REM

Masakbay Rakhat aka Rem Born in 30.03.2000, Almaty Height: 173 cm Kazakh Junior Clan, Älimuly, Jolshara Family: Mother, father, brother (Nurken) and little sister (Dilnaz)

Studies at Almaty’s college named after Tchaikovsky (choir conductor)

He is Mad Men’s vocalist and makes music for their songs

Rem’s favorite color is black

His fave movies are Slipt and Shutter Island

Rem made his first money as singing in Tois

Watches anime and his favorite is Naruto

Rem have dated 8 girl’s

Talks most from Madmen

Loves meat dishes

Have cat named Umi

Did leave from Madmen in March 2021, is now at TikTok House Bip House

Ideal girl (2017): A girl with whom it’s convenient at any circumstances

Bad habit: he can sometimes just lives inside his head

Rem collects action figures

Have run away from police (NTK interview 2020)

Dated two girls at same time (NTK interview 2020)

Rem have kissed a girl on first date (NTK interview 2020)

Came to MM when he was 14

Young

Erasyl Abdraliev aka Young Born in 01.08.2002, Almaty Family: mother

Is Mad Men’s youngest member

Erasyl was part of Madness (is still close with them!!)

Likes K-Pop, manga and anime

Young can speak Kazakh, Russian and English

He likes to watch videos of space and stars

Is afraid of heights

Likes to stare stars

His closest friends are Sula, Renat and Aldiyar

Did leave from Madmen in March 2021, nowadays is dance teacher in LY entertainment

Young can play dombra

He loves to play video games

When he joined to Madmen he worked really hard for becoming better at dancing

Tim

Timur Kurmangaliev Born in 20.06.1997, Almaty Tatar-Russian Family: mother, father and sister

His favorite good is pilaf

He was Mad Men’s visual and vocalist

Scared easily

Tim can play guitar

He is Mad Men’s shortest member

Lived in Moscow for a while in 2019 is now back to Almaty

He left from Mad Men in 8th November 2018

After he left from Madmen he worked for a while in MM

Ideal girl (2017): Charismatic, economic, well mannered, kind and responsive

[feraldavestrider]

Honestly when you started saying you need dysphoria to be trans I was this close to hitting the unfollow button but I agree with you. sometimes people say "I don't have dysphoria I'm just happier as this gender" and like ??? maybe you should consider how happy you actually were before whatever transitioning you did. Sometimes I feel kinda empty and don't wanna do things. I'm not sad and I can deal with it indefinitely but guess what, that's still depression. Not all dysphoria is obvious.

yeah!! ill be honest i was mostly frustrated and i just woke up when i wrote that stuff so i wont b surprised if i lost some followers who didnt get what i meant/thought i was truscum/transmed,,,, or if ppl just dont agree which is life. but im glad u got what i meant!

**edit i made before i posted this i say “you” a lot in this and i mean like a general audience you mostly pointed towards like. op and those that agree ok note over**

i by NO means am trying to police ppls identifies or suggest that all experiences w dysphoria are the same. or that u should ever need to share details on those experiences! you dont owe anyone anything.

my main issue is that “tucute”/mogai tumblr propagates this idea that you can just be trans without feeling any discomfit w ur agab, and the associated name, pronouns, ur physical form (ie some various forms of dysphoria). because then what are we boiling being trans down to???? saying youre trans/nonbinary just bc you may dress in a gnc/non conventional manner or because u act/talk/have certain hobbies that are gendered in a way that doesnt fit ur assigned gender???? if you genuinely feel NO issue with ur agab at ALL then chief... u probably arent trans!! and thats ok! a lot of ppl i know have ided as trans at some point in their life and actually realised they were experiencing something else, like body dysmorphia or internalised lesbophobia. 

like u said, dysphoria can sometimes just be... not bery apparent. it can be silent, but its still there. im very skeptical of the idea of ppl habinf gender “euphoria” without the dysphoria n using that to explain their transness but mostly bc i just beliebe those ppl r dysphoric without realising it, probably bc of mogai/tucute tumblr culture! i.e. i didnt realise how bad i actually experienced name dysphoria until AFTER i changed my name basicaly everywhere except legally and w my family. bc i was like huh! im so euphoric at being called gabe, but i didnt think i felt thay dysphoric at my birth name! but NOW when i get deadnamed, it like. HURTS most of the time. dysphoria can change like that w ur life experiences, and euphoria doesnt exist without the dysphoria, evem if u arent aware of the dysphoria in rhe first place! like u said anon, how okay could u be w ur agab/birth name/assigned pronouns/etc if being called different ones make u so happy. its just dysphoria!!!

! u just have been indoctrinated by this tucute v truscum war where both sides treat dysphoria as an all encompassing tragic, epic life long suffering. truscum act thay way in order to gatekeep who is/isnt trans, and mogais decided thay RATHER than go, “no dumbass dysphoria can be literally just. hih i feel Wrong abt my agab” even if thats a vague and complicated feeling, they went: ok then we dont need dysphoria fuck u! which i INDERSYAND but its just not right or helpful!

 often dysphoria can change w experiences and comes and goes, and sometimes parts of it are so hodden u wont realise it was there until years later in ur life! and thats ok. you dont have to experience every symptom of dysphoria at 100% tragedy pain mode to be a valid Real Transgender. all you need to be trans is... to be trans. which means dysphoria! bc being trans is being uneasy/unhappy w ur assigned gender bc u arent that! and guess what the definition of dysphoria is... being uneasy and unhappy! so being trans is just having gender dysphoria!

on that note, i think that ppl who DONT actually feel uneasy or unhappy w their birth gender but do want to experiment or explore different modes of expression w names/pronouns/dress style should! but just note tjay like... ur probably just gender non comforming, not transgender

i guess being nonbinary is a little more complex but id argue my point still stands. you are uncomfortable w ur birth gender. thats dysphoria. maybe ur dysphoria seems “”””weird”””” bc ur nb dusphoria but its not. its still dysphoria!  if ur afab and u still want to have long hair... thay dossnt mean u dont have dysphoria. if ur agab and you still want to have armpit and leg hair... thay doesnt mean u dont have dysphoria. whether ur nb or binary trans! bc. you WILL have some form of social/personal dysphoria that is what makes u go HM ASSIGNED GENDER BAD! 

ok im done for now im abt to sleep and then get on an 11 hour plane journey so dont expect anything gr8 from me now or anytime near in the future sorry for my big rants but i just feel like tumblr is so black n white on this issue when both aides are! stupid (obviously transmeds/truscum r worse but still!!! mogai tend to get me heated in a New Fun way). 

sorry 4 word vomiting anon bit thanks 4 ur ask i wasnt sure if anyone would get where i was coming from n im glad u agree!!! thank u fr for sending tjis in. habe a good noght/day/whatever 

[psyche-ssi]

hello berry

excuse me goise, daghan kay kog problema doooh i dunno if angay ba jud problemahon, for other peeps they say im ‘overacting’ but from the bottom of my hypothalamus, this is really a problem.

1st, my workplace (actually not a ‘real’ workplace but an internship space) are pretty much not okay..for me, i think? The surroundings are fine but the isolation and the boredom and the mind that is inside the four corners of the office, if i have to descirbe the color..its violet that has a bit of yellow. Im not comfortable, it’s still not properly arranged just like their thoughts and words, I am also unmotivated to go inside, like if I were to choose I would like to back out.. but that is impossible. Though I would really appreciate if they appreciate my time, my efforts, my vibes, my silence, my solemnity, my point of views, my decisions and my being. Because it feels like I am trying to fit in. Also the chosen mate for me, is idunno what to describe.. at first I admit it was all fine, and then there was a moment that it has to go beyond the boundaries.. hello we just met and we are not tha close, periodt. Don’t talk trash about me, talk back behind me, saying things behind me, hello again. I didn’t remember when did I became bad to you, and now you’re acting like a victim here and there.. what is it really your plaaan,? Huh. Because i don’t know how to cope up with yourself and to your allies. That’s the main point here. 2nd problem. My school itself, lately the owner of the university I’ve been going decided to put up some good stuff, by putting all paramedical courses and medicine students into one place, which is the new building of the university.. Here’s the thing, my crushes are all around the corner, Nursing, Radtech and PT. So y is this a problem? I’m becoming more and more conscious as the day become, Im like poker face when we cross fates, the nursing guy, which I noticed since 2015 in our old school is thereeee and I really would want to stick to the rumor that he’s gay, and Im very fine with it since I adore and love gays <3 He is so attractive even when he’s queuing in the cafeteria, I really would notice him. Hehe. Then here’s the PT guy, ughh I really have a thing about bois with glasses and the way their aura is dashing it’s getting my attention.. can u stopp..he’s not single okai thats y it’s a problem, I can’t keep my eyes off him when I meet him in the hallway or in the Cafeteria or in the stairss oh noo this is malala na bayy. Hays why guys are so attractive, labi na pag naka glasses! Which leads us to my third, save the best for the last. This one thinks no one has crush on him, he said it in twitter to which I strongly disagree, every girl or gay that he’ll look or talk or just stand doing nothing makes me or us feel haaaaaay haha kilig? He has that charm that anyone can accept and the presence that unable to resist. He’s also wearing eyeglasses, we had a small talk like he can talk to anyone but ge duol jud sya nako ug ako dayn kay ge kilig,. Buing.. He didn’t call me ‘ate’ which he should have,, ahhaha and last sem in our class,he was sitting behind me and it makes me reallly happy and conscious at the same time, But I decided during semi finals to sit at the very back of the room (since i got an alas card to sit in the 1st row because of my poorest eyesight, nag duol na nuon mig bangko imbis alphabetically arrange ang seats) so i sat in the back, and the entire sesions i was just looking at him,admiring him, and hahaha there was a time when he is so happy because he answers the questions of our teacher.. he wAs so cute,until now ofc. He is alsoo so cool,even when he’s alone or with friends. Alone in the cafet where I didn’t realise he wAs sitting on our front table!! He was wearing an earphone prolly listening music since he’s in the band. He so cool,i wanna hug him and cuddle him like a pup. Lol. And I don’t wannabe like assuming but every time i want to see him,he really pops out and make my heat and soul happy. Bery spontaneous. And when I look at him, no not look at him but glance at him, he will glance to me as well oooohh pilingera na dis ambot ani bay kay ga kiligon jud ko doh piling na kung pilingg.. Uhm, mao ra to sya hihihi sunod napud

[gcmblingdice]

I am an anons! I've been wondering for awhile since we've also been mutuals for a while, I think, but how'd you one day decide to make up your cast or so?

Any one reason for each of them or is very, very layered? I don't mind either way, just genuinely curious. :O

Idk. I just always liked creating stories and world building. My first taste was at the tender age of 11 writing a sex swapped version Kenshin Himura. I got introduced bery fast to RP and make stuff up on the spot cause in chathouse there was no real plotting.

So as I got older and more involved with my muses it became fun then to build them out and start to grow them. I have always had a vivid imagination and spent a lot of time watching anime, consuming lore and headcanons and reading fanfics and books...

And it made me wanna write and now here I am helplessly in love with my OCs and their storylines and working out how they all work and I GET SO SUPER EXCITED AND ITS...happy.

It makes me happy because its all Ive had for so long to avoid my rather not okay very triggering childhood/adolesence and even a bit into my adult years.

Now it just provides me with 💫h a p p y.💫

[mangachronicle]

Notice

So, I wanted to take the time to clear some stuff up and inform everyone on the future of Manga Chronicle.

Firstly, it really is just me, beri, working on these releases. I get the raws and translations from different sites and proof read, clean, typeset and quality check all by myself. A release will usually take a full day or two to do all these steps and I just don’t have any free time anymore. That is why I need more staff.

There has also been something else on my mind and that is Manga Chronicle isn’t, I feel, very ethical as I do outsource raws and translation. This is something that has been really weighing down on me as I don’t feel like I’m legit. More staff would really help mould Manga Chronicle into the group that I want it to be. Not only would we have a regular schedule but we can become a self-sufficient and ethical group.

Something big is also right around the corner for me. I will be leaving for a 10-month high school exchange in Japan next week! Getting ready for this big adventure has really swamped my time and I really won’t have much time while I’m over there so that is why I really needed to get applications out before I left. 

I hope all of this helps clear up some things and explains some of the asks I have answered. From this point, all series will be on hold until I can get more staff. So, if you love Tsubaki-Chou or any of our other series, please consider joining!!

I really really am desperate so even if you don’t have any experience, or can’t commit to lots of work, please just consider applying! I really have loved making y’all happy with these releases and now it’s time for y’all to make me happy by helping out! I hope to hear from some of you through the google form on our join us page! (https://mangachronicle.tumblr.com/joinus) I truly love you all and thank you so much for all the support!

[virtual-fetus]

i told my stuffies that no matter where they came from they are mine and i love them and i couldn’t hurt them or get rid of because they’re my friends now 😇💜💖

cuz i talked to an old daddy dom of mine tonight just as friends but it reminded me that when we were together he gave me mr bear! and mr bear was so special to me for so long!! he came with me when i was in treatment and moved away and all my sleepovers. he helped me not be scared at sleepovers anymore. and guess what! he’s still in my bed!!! i love mr bear! so it’s ok 😌 i remember being little by myself and i just would use this blog more!!!!! i do remember before i met him (x) and i could do it then! i can do it now! i would just dress cutesy and be a happy girl !!! i don’t need a daddy to be little. honestly though it kinda made me get butterflies today because after all these years he asked me how i am (as a baby) and it means so much that someone still cares about my sof n squishy little girl heart. he’s really such a daddy in nature. anyway. he saw i was hurting and reached out. i’m not gonna romanticize it too much but he was very kind and made sure i was doing ok. on his birthday.

honestly...he was, by far, the best daddy dom i’ve ever had. and that was long distance. i was only 18 when we met and he was 20 but it was really an intense time. he loved that i was little, and i loved that he loved me so much, and loved my little space so much (until he didn’t). he definitely wasn’t good all the time because he hit me one time not in the bedroom and he broke up with me becauae he didn’t love me anymore (but at least he didn’t cheat on me)

but when it came to intimacy and nurturing, x was the best. he used to pick my clothes for me and tell me what times to do stuff and all that. he would give me praises all the time, telling me i’m a pretty lil baby and being just bery sweet and mushyyyy 😌💖 i remember always feeling so wiggly and happy with him. he really treated me like he cared as a daddy. we had 24/7 roles and he was on top and i was gladly not. he always made me feel little, no matter where we were he would say things like “oh baby, you can’t do that by yourself! let daddy help!” and he would do for me or with me. i love feeling like i need my daddy, like i depend on him. i just want to have a great ddlg focused relationship that makes me happy!!!! breaking up is hard as a grown up but gosh i feel like it’s extra hard being a little.

[imautistic]

well i can only speak for my own experiences but transitioning for me has largely been about alleviating physical discomfort that arises from tactile feedback from certain surface areas on my body. i spent a lot of time in my teens uncomfortable and not knowing what to do about it, because i knew i needed top surgery, but i never saw discussion of top surgery that didnt come alongside discussion of pronouns and gendered presentation and whatnot, and from that i think i jumped to the conclusion that in order to “deserve” top surgery, i would have also had to feel something about the way people gendered me/my body, i would have had to want to be perceived/addressed a certain way, etc, a lot of stuff that had never shown up on my radar in the first place.

for a while i went out of my way to examine how i felt when people acknowledged me in different ways wrt gender but i didn’t know how to collect or interpret the data. trying to figure out what i’m feeling is like trying to see through peanut butter. there’s just a wall. i think i was between 16 and 20 when i developed the ability to determine whether i was feeling “good” or “bad” and i havent improved much since.

eventually my chest being shaped the way it was disrupted my life so much that i went and got top surgery anyway. my therapist and i had to explicitly identify myself as nonbinary to the insurance company. it felt like a lie, and also deeply unfair that the noises i prefer to make with my mouth in reference to myself should have anything to do with the state of my physical body. i consoled myself with the knowledge that depending on who you talk to, “nonbinary” can simply mean “does not identify as definitively male or female”. it just now occurs to me that there may be an Official Definition and this might not be it. please do not report me for insurance fraud

post top surgery, tactile input from the nerves in my chest no longer induces dissociative episodes, and i can’t think of any symptom that’s taken their place, so i can say that my mental state is quantitatively better

(as opposed to questions like “do i wish i was xyz” or “do i picture myself as xyz” ive found the most useful “am i trans” litmus test for me has been “did pursuing xyz aspect of transition improve my quality of life” which is unfortunately no help when you are trying to figure out whether you should pursue it or not)

this isnt to say i identify as my agab— i used to, because i was under the impression that it was a fixed state, like my hair color or my homeroom class at school. but ever since coming to understand the sole criterion of being a gender as identifying as that gender, i cant do it, because for me it’s the other way around. i identify as* something only when i know i fit the criteria for it, which means gender under this definition functionally doesnt exist to me. i have few feelings about being in control over my own identity beyond making sure people dont think something about me that isnt true. im not interested in creating myself.

*i say “identify as” but like, i might totally not, and just think i do, cause theres rly no official criteria for what the experience of “identify as” entails, which, i guess, means, well, there’s another thing that functionally doesnt exist to me

i do think im capable of (deriving fulfillment from) self-identification though, because treating myself as trans and understanding myself to be trans has made me very happy

anyway i realize This Is A Lot and i gotta go to bed and also i hope i didnt write this in a way that trivializes experiences of social dysphoria and stuff because that is not my intention and ill throw rocks at anyone who thinks someone’s dysphoria is a nonissue just because it is influenced by social factors or a desire for agency over their identity. ive been sitting on these experiences for a long time and im nervous about sharing them but it feels good to finally get them out. i really appreciate your curiosity thank you bery much for asking. trans rights

I thought I made a post about this before but apparently not, and correct me of I’m wrong, but no one has a “true” gender or gender identity because gender and gender identity don’t have an essence. Gender identity is a self-determined thing dependent on the rationalization of your life experiences up until your present point. Both your life experiences and rationalization of your experiences are able to change.

[greenqueen-jah]

Why Juliet?

Every time I am inside my room I feel so sad.. Not only sad but I feel so much regret in my life and I tend to burst into tears because of how much big of a mess was created. Every night it was a crying routine. I look around and everything reminds me of something.. something that was so perfect but I can never have again.. I wanted to crawl into those memories and just stay there. But those happy memories are always making me feel sad. Makes me feel that I can never ever feel happy like that again. The more I think about it now.. I just end up with questions.. like what on Earth possessed me to throw everything away? Why didn't I listened to everyone when they're trying to stop me. Why didn't I realized that I was really not myself that time? I tried to think that maybe somewhere along the line our perfect relationship really did become dull because the spark we once felt was gone.. I was on the point of my life that I ask why wasn't anything exciting happening to my life? Many times I looked for attention to other people and found them. Many times I wanted to be treated like a bery beautiful woman.. and I was treated. Friends adored me and tell me I'm pretty which wasn't given to me by the one I love. I'm not saying it's right. I know for a fact that trying to find attention from outside the relationship was wrong.. At first I was still in control. He didn't like that but I didn't care. In my mind I was thinking if he doesn't want me to be with other guys... why doesn't he try to be with me instead. Then I finally got what I wanted. He sleeps at my house at some times. I was so happy and contented by just hugging him and waking up with him. But one day the attention I wanted him to give me was given by another person. He treats me like a queen. Almost worshipped me. He gives me flowers, takes me to places even after long hours of work. Drives me to school and takes me home. Gives me breakfast everyday and smiles at me during lunch. Helps me with everything I do. Talks to me about serious stuffs and deep conversations. Even try to protect me from other boys and jealous girls. I gues I was blinded. It made me confused of what I want. He was persistent so one day I gave in and felt disgusted with myself. I tried to make it right in the way I thought was right. I am aware of how much pain I am causing them. So I decided to try something new. A very foolish decision actually. Until now I know that I have not really thought that through. Then I was haunted by my guilt everyday. I was being genuinely happy by being treated like a princess but at night I feel the guilt of the price I had to make another person pay. Until I miss him. And cried every night with only the scene of him crying in my bed in my mind.