#but nothing will ever compare to san junipero it was everything to me

[menlove]

you are a dyke in the early/mid 2010s. that one episode of black mirror (san junipero), carmilla, the 100, orphan black, and unfortunately orange is the new black is all you have. there are so many white people. you are writing genderbends of popular male ships to make yourself feel something. you put on but i'm a cheerleader for the 10th time that year. you are in high school and you just changed your pronouns.

[tearsofwinter]

Artificial R.E.M. Transfer initiated.

10% transfer completed

30% transfer completed

Error. 

Error.

He was floating in grey mist, drifting in and out of consciousness; his mind registering neither fear or concern, only mild confusion. He clung to that blissful state, because it allowed him to escape the pain of his dying body and the nameless fear of the unknown.

"Mr. Anderson."

The voice was nearby, as if speaking from inside his head. It was deep and kind, but held a robotic, authorative tone. It sounded familiar, but he couldn't place his fingers on where he'd heard the voice before.

"Mr. Anderson, my data suggests you are conscious. Please respond."

The voice was speaking to him. Anders forced his eyes open and blinked, trying to focus, but his vision was strangely blurry. He saw two of everything, each object superimposed over the other.

"Anders, are you functional?"

He blinked again, and the images separated before his eyes. The sight of sparkling blue crystals greeted him. He shifted his body and stared, amazed by the beauty of the rocks surrounding him. If laughter was a color, he thought, it would be this exact shade of blue. He reached out to touch the side of the cave with his hand...and stopped.

It wasn't his hand, or rather, he hadn't seen his hand look so healthy since before his illness took a toll on his body. His gaze moved from his hand to his arm. It was long and graceful, like it had been carved from marble. Tears prickled the corners of his eyes as he let out a half-hysterical sob. He sat up and his hair, long and luxurious, swept over one shoulder. Hair...he hair a head full of hair again. With shaking hands, he ran his fingers through the gorgeous mane and looked at the rest of his body.

"It worked...It worked," he cried, the tears freely streamed down his face. "I'm alive. I'm whole. I can walk."

"Yes, Anders. Welcome to the matrix inside of Youtopia," the voice inside his head interrupted him. His instance of happiness was momentarily brought to a halt. "My name is Justice, your personal Artificial R.E.M. Transfer implant. I am your connection to the real world. I relay to the engineers and doctors monitoring your emotional and physical well-being. How are you feeling?"

Anders took a deep breath, filling his lungs to his heart's content. With a sigh, he stood up, reveling in the strength in his legs, his body. "I feel great! Awesome! I couldn't be happier!"

"That is good to know," Justice's monotonous way of speaking was unnerving, but nothing, absolutely nothing could dampen Anders' mood. Even if the world he was living, breathing in now was an artificial simulation, a mere figment of his imagination, he was content. It didn't hurt to be alive. He was free from the pain. Here, inside the matrix, he was himself again before the cancer began to chip away at his life.

"As a reminder to the agreement," Justice continued, "your body is currently hibernating in cryo inside the facility of Youtopia. Our company prizes itself to provide absolute care to our terminal patients while they sleep inside the Tubes. The contract you signed states that if a cure should be found, you wish to be woken from cryo. If at any time you wish to terminate, we will download your profile into the matrix where you will remain digitally. Once terminated, there is no reversal. Do you understand the terms of the contract, Anders?"

"Yes. We went over this before I slept."

"As a precautionary measure, Youtopia wishes the customer fully understands the term of contract both in the waking and sleeping world."

Anders waved it off. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did the trial offer. I know how this all works. So where is San Junipero, the place of paradise. I don't see the others. The rocks are pretty and all, but they're not quite the life of the party. I want the lime life! I can't wait to join the others and mingle." He closed his eyes and took a breath, savoring how realistic the taste of the ocean felt on his tongue. "I can't remember the last time I partied hard."

Briefly Justice went silent before he spoke again, his voice emotionless as ever. "There's been an error. You are not in San Junipero."

Anders eyes snapped open. "Error. What do you mean error? If I'm not in San Junipero where the fuck am I?" Anders swallowed back his hysteria and forced himself to calm down. Breathe, breathe deeply he told himself. It wouldn't do to lose it now. "Explain yourself."

"During the transfer of your consciousness into the matrix, our facility suffered a security breach. A virus was downloaded."

"And?" Anders began pacing. The feel of sand beneath his feet steadied his nerves. One foot in front of the other. Left, right, left right, turn. Virus attack or not, he was here, breathing and walking. He was fine. Everything was okay. Breathe. Just breathe.

"You are in a game called Dragon Age."

Anders slammed his fist into the wall. Blood trickled down  his hand. "You're telling me," he said through clenched teeth, "I'm in a trading card game?"

"Dragon Age is a roleplaying game developed by-"

"I don't fucking care what this game is or who made it," he yelled. He spun around, eyes wild in his fury, but there was no one for him to face. Justice was only a voice inside his head. "You fix this. I didn't pay thousands just to get royally fucked over. Fucking fix this before I sue all your asses!"

"Our staff is doing their best, however we've encountered a problem. We cannot safely transfer you while the game is currently still running."

"Then shut it off!" "Shutting off the game while your consciousness is inside can potentially damage your psyche. The damages would be irreparable."

"I'm not going to spend the rest of my miserable life in some stupid game!" Anders shouted. Heedless of the blood on his hand, he ran it through his sun-gold hair. "Is it not enough I'm dying outside. You'll make me suffer in some virtual reality too? Fuck you. Fuck you and your entire staff!"

"I did not say we could not transfer you to San Junipero. Simply we could not while the game is running. If you defeat the game, the game will end. We can transfer you then. Please be rest assured."

Anders harsh laugh echoed through the cave. "Rest assured. Right. Yeah, sure, like I can be rest assured with this major fuck up. I can't believe this." Maybe he was dreaming, Anders thought, or even dead. That would explain what was happening to him.

He stood in silence, the lapping of water at the sand's edge his only companion. Not even Justice spoke a word. Minutes ticked by into hours, and slowly, the horror of the situation ebbed away. Whatever happened to him, he still had his own mind, and he was most certainly healthy and whole compared to before.

Anders took a steadying breath and spoke. "I only need to beat the game? Then I can spend the rest of my days with the others in San Junipero?" "Yes," came Justice's robotic reply. "If it is any consolation, I will assist you every step of the way in completing the game."

Anders nodded his head as he came to a decision. "Okay...I'll do it. I'll beat the damn game. I didn't come this far to just give up now."

"Thank you. The staff of Youtopia again apologizes for any inconvenience," Justice said, relaying the words of the people outside Anders' tube. "Please enjoy your stay, and welcome to Dragon Age."

The was a jolt as Anders blacked out. The next he woke, it was in a clinic that smelled of sewage.

Kirkwall's Darktown.

My notes

I guess I was gonna write a fic where Anders gets transferred into the game and in order to leave, he had to play through DA2? I vaguely remember (I think) the fic is supposed to end with Anders deciding to stay in DA2 because leaving meant he’d never see Fen and them again.