#but none of the clows are funny in the least

[stahl-tier]

Meanwhile in Austria: the political parties are criticizing the fact that women earn a lower pension than men on average after they retire

My brother in christ you're the ones who make the pension laws.... you're the only ones who have the power change this

[tsubasaclones]

CCS 🥰

the first character i fell in love with: honestly dont remember a whole lot from when i first read it (considering it was like 7-8 years ago) but i DO remember syaoran being my favorite even back then so probably him. he is so funny god bless

the character i never expected to love as much as i do now: YUE i dont think i used to care about him that much but hes so good actually

the character that everyone else loves that i dont: okay okay please no one murder me but. tomoyo. PLEASE HEAR ME OUT HERE. its not that i dont love her because like i do but i wish i could love her more but honestly i have some problems with how shes written.

first of all, i am going to remind the class that sakuras mom and tomoyos mom are first cousins, making tomoyo and sakura second cousins. even if they werent cousins, it would still bother me that like almost all of her personality is just being in love with sakura. sure she has hobbies but even then she likes filming things because she likes filming sakura. she likes making clothes because she likes making clothes for sakura. she doesnt get any character development which its fine for not every character in a story to get development obviously but when you are the main character that stays exactly the same the entire time it stands out. the only change she gets between the original series and clear card is that she gets more advanced technology and thats literally it. sometimes it feels like shes less of a character and more of an accessory and it really really bothers me because idk i just feel like she has so much unused potential. clamp let tomoyo be her own character challenge <3

but other than that, i think at least some people out there probably like eriol but i literally hate him so much the only thing i remembered about him before i got back into ccs was the absolute vitriol i felt towards him when i was 10

the character i love that everyone else hates: uh im not sure?

the character i used to love but dont any longer: no one comes to mind tbh. i feel like all the characters i hate now i never really loved

the character i would totally smooch: none they are kids

the character id want to be like: kero. i want to sit there and just play video games and eat all day too

the character id slap: well first of all the pedo teachers because jesus christ. but also clow reed. the only thing he knows how to do is die and leave his problems to literal children. also yuna d kaito because hes stinky

a pairing that i love: syaosaku because they literally defined the version of enemies to friends to lovers that is my favorite and i didnt realize it for a long time until i was like wait thats literally just them 😭

a pairing that i despise: so i found out a while ago that some people ship eriol and tomoyo which uh lets not do that

[ccsthemovie2]

Character-Clow Reed

(avril lavingne voice) WHYD YOU HAVE TO GO AND MAKE THINGS SO CLOWMPLICATEEEED I SEE THE WAY YOURE ACTING LIKE YOURE SOMEBODY ELSE GETS ME FRUSTRATED- ok jokes aside LETS GOOOOO 

Why I like them:

for all my angry yelling and kicking and complaining you may be surprised to learn that clow(riol) is one of my favorite parts of ccs! 

i think that having the Mystery and Legend of a long-dead wizard that hangs over sakura’s head at the start get light shed on it more and more so that we can see he’s just a person makes the world of ccs feel small and personal. it really stabilizes the heart of the series, what i love most about ccs- that it’s a story about individuals and the choices they make. the magic itself all traces back to one man and the way he felt it was right to act and to treat other people. i think he’s a fascinating character and a very very good choice of central figure.

Why I don’t:

THAT SAID, AAAAAGHHHHH HE IS HORRIBLE HE IS JUST A TERRIBLE LITTLE MAN I HATE HIM I HATE HIM SOOOO MUCH. even putting aside everything he* pulls as eriol, just the things he does as clow reed make me SO upset....LYING ABOUT HIS DEATH??? ELABORATE SETUP TO PRETEND KERO AND YUE HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MATTER OF CHOOSING THE NEW CARD MASTER BUT ACTUALLY KNOWING ALL ALONG AND HAVING A SPECIAL MAGIC ITEM MADE TO SEE THAT IT GETS DONE??? BREEZING INTO A TOWN TO STEAL A FORTUNE TELLER’S BUSINESS, GETTING HER NICE AND KATE BEATON NEMESIS.PNG’D, AND THEN IGNORING HER FOREVER??? it’s bad!! *(it’s complicated,) ive said this jokingly before but i think he just doesnt even think about other people having agency, that he’s not trampling but Guiding and Helping. i think part of his controlfreakiness is also a deep fear that he’s not enough, that he can’t keep a friend on his own merits so he’s gotta get his claws sunk in as much as possible, whether by emotionally living rent free in people’s heads or magical dependance. and that’s not a uniquely horrible belief, yknow, i think it’s very human and normal, but the problem is no one can criticize him. not with the amount of control he has over the people he surrounds himself with, the fact that he can physically shut down kero and yue any time he likes, etc. it’s not that power inherently Makes You Evil, it’s that power made it harder for people to say “hey stop that”, and if no ones telling him to stop then he must be doing fine!

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

GENUINE TIE BETWEEN THE BACK TO THE PAST EP OF THE ANIME AND THE SAKURA SEES THE TRUTH SCENE IN MANGA. i think both of them are great- the tightly controlled dreamy guided tour where she sees just what he wants her to see, AND sakura outpowering him and seeing the reality of his lies. in the manga when sakura sees him gives gentle headkisses to kero and yue before putting them to bed and eriol+fujitaka-ing i go AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ....... THEY LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS TERRIBLE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUU MY HEART. i headcanon that’s when he mind-messed with them, too, i think he had to touch them to do it and that was how.

Favorite season/movie:

bold answer but im going to say the implications left behind in the clow card arc of Why Do Cards Act Like That/Have Those Specialties. what about clow made him want to make a voice-stealing card, a small-object-moving-card, a body-swap card, etc? it’s good questions.

Favorite line:

in the mokona book when they say he said dogs dont have owners they have housemates, bc that explains SOOOOO much abt him and how he treated kero and yue lololol. if you think being a pet owner and a roomate are the same you’re gonna treat your roomates, uhhhm, bad.

also if eriol counts its him in the wonderland ep like YOU DONT KNOW IF IM NOT THE KINDA PERSON TO PRETEND TO BE A CAT and I THINK YOU AND LI ARE SO DUMB I HAVE TO BITE MY TONGUE CONSTANTLY TO NOT INSULT YOU and BUT I CANT ACT LIKE THIS OR KERO AND YUE WILL KNOW IM CLOW. so like. was clow just like that then.

Favorite outfit:

uh his regular clothes are cool. theres an illustration on him in this cool coat with like a sun pin on it too. whenever i draw him in something frilly i have a huge brain. cant deny the guy has style and aesthetics. sakura’s first staff, look at it!! the style it has!!! 

OTP: 

im neutral-positive on clowyuuko cuz i havent holic’d since high school. you can refer to the answer i gave abt yue for clowyue thoughts (tl;dr: [touches ground] “something terrible happened here” ). madoushi is just kate beaton nemesis comic. 

i think it would be funny if albus dumbledore was his ex.

Brotp 

yuuko again i guess? and him and all his creations. headcanon territory even though that’s actually the next question but you asked for my thoughts so here they are: i think of him as trying to be a sort of fun camp counselor or teacher type for kero+yue and the cards- specifically a role with an authority behind it, but without the same sort of responsibility that a parent would have. or, i guess, lacking an unconditional love, always an undertone of you having to prove yourself. someone who you go to to learn from, but if he likes can also go “no no im just like you, now let’s have fun!”. it’s hard to explain, but there’s a difference. 

what i’m trying to get at here is i think it’s significant that the only creations he has that we see him truly ‘raise’, (going by the info+lack of it we have, anyway, i fill in the blank for myself that kero and yue and the cards all showed up full of knowledge, fully formed, CLAMP DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!), were the mokonas, with yuuko. it was another person’s influence that brought a parental attitude in, it’s not something he ever wanted to be. there’s also a healthy dose of “yue textually had a crush on clow and i will not, no way, let you make that any more unfortunate than that already is”, i’ll admit, but i think that’s just a puzzle piece of the whole theory here. i think it would also be funny if he knew people like tolkein (eriol’s a tolkeinverse name if i remember correctly) and c.s. lewis (side note, i find the fact that clow is an actively practicing christian really funny), but i dont want to think too deeply about that sort of realworld mix, yknow.

Head Canon: 

i think pranks were highly encouraged in his house and none of the clow cards are being intentionally destructive, just acting in ways that were totally normal at home, and are genuinely shocked to learn that people will get seriously injured without clow there to cushion their damage.

Unpopular opinion: 

evil

A wish: 

i wanna know what his pre-story days were like, his life with the cards, his life BEFORE the cards,

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: 

^ same the above but i find it out from clamp

5 words to best describe them:

did you know? clow sucks

My nickname for them: 

clown, :kingboo: (discord emoji of him with a 🚫 over it), “the bastard jester himself” (which is, or at least was, in comedian-podcaster stephen buckleys twitter bio and i think it abt clow frequently, sorry stephen buckley), king of living rent free in people’s heads

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Cardcaptor Sakura S1

For faithfulness reasons, I’ll forgo rewatching in English even though I’m Jared 19 and never learned how to read 

I will say the original English dub had a BANGER of a theme song and I do miss that

"I’m a Fourth Grader at Tomoeda Elementary” I know I watched this like when I was age 7 or smth but SHE’S LIKE 10?? OH MY GOD who is letting this ten-year-old roam the streets

“I’m gonna stomp on him” [Lucille Bluth voice] good for her

I fully forgot Sakura had a dad I was ready to accept her Grade 11 brother raising her

Sakura’s roller blades give me visceral memories of my barbie skates

Lmao is Yuki’s ability to throw a piece of candy at a child from a moving bicycle backwards foreshadowing his superhero abilities

Okay having checked this scene in both English versions and Japanese, my opinion no one asked for: the Aminax version is bad voices on all counts, Japanese has a better voice for Toya and original English dub has a better voice for Sakura and Yukito (who they called Julian lmao) I am not accepting constructive criticism 

Tomoyo and Sakura sound so similar I could not even tell that Tomoyo was speaking omg

“There isn’t anything cuter or more interesting than you Sakura-chan” Tomoyo is really honest with her feelings I guess ten-year-olds be like that sometimes

“Is someone there” home invasions are what happens when you don’t lock your front door

This is not a study lmao this is a personal library there is hardly a workspace just aisles of shelves

Oh shit The Clow WIND RAIN SHADOW WOOD SWORD POWER THUNDER SLEEP CARD CAPTORS OF THE CLOW EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED NOW

Wait if this is hanging out in her dad’s study was her dad the last Cardcaptor lmao

Or probs her mom, since she’s gone the way of all anime moms

Sakura is accepting this whole “tiny magical flying lion” thing p well

“I accidentally fell asleep” “For how long” “30 years” same

“Stand right over there” Kerberos does not ask permission before magical girl transforming you lmao

“Why are you acting so wimpy” bc she’s 10 and you’re asking her to fight a giant ghost bird???

Honestly I love a good quest-to-collect-important-items maybe Inuyasha and DBZ ruined my taste but it’s a great formula 

“You’ll be a better adult if you have all sorts of experiences in your life” r u going to take career counselling advice from a tiny flying lion Sakura

I do kind of miss Kero’s slightly unhinged young man energy

I like that whenever Sakura’s brother is rude she steps on his foot or kicks him fkjhjgkh excellent little sister depiction

I was expecting more secrecy but it is very funny to see Tomoyo try to convince her friend to be a superhero

“Do a flashy one” kfhkjdhkj Kero supports the use of magic powers for showing off

“Trademark poses and skills are the basic parts of being a magical girl” oh my gooood

I mean if I walked into my school and there was a mountain of haphazard desks waiting there I too would be threatened 

Sakura is the only one in this group who has a reasonable understanding of what ten-year-olds should be allowed to do

LMAO @ Tomoyo’s team of bodyguards dropping her off to break into the school ONLY TO DRIVE AWAY

Tomoyo and Kero’s friendship is killing me the SHENANIGANS

I’m not sure I accept this light logic bc you need light to cast a shadow

Sakura’s “heart-racing first date” ur TEN oh my god

I mean it’s nice that Sakura wants to save the penguin but why did it take that for her to get upset it was going to drown a whole adult woman

Did Toya just RIP APART a WHIRLPOOL with his BARE HANDS

I wonder how Toya feels that his little sister has a crush on his boyfriend lmao

This cell phone is really top of the line for 1999 lmao I love it 

U know if I were a high school student and my friend asked my 10 year old sibling out to lunch instead of me I’d be confused

"They’re not even gonna hold hands? Kids these days” This is a VERY weird vibe for an episode

You know I guess if you never watch the second episode you never have context for all of these superhero outfits LMAO

None of these locations have security cameras I guess the 1990s was a lawless time

Will all of Yuki’s magical advice be delivered in the form of mysterious field trips

LMAO @ YUKITO ALWAYS TAKING SAKURA TO TOYA’S TEMP JOBS

Say what you will about the ominous influence of the other card, I think Wood is being fairly polite since it’s contorting around her house instead of destroying it lmao

“I was planning to film ‘Sakura Dances in the Jungle’ in the park today” I love Tomoyo 

Every little girl in this show sounds so similar lmao this is not good for my distracted watching style 

Wow Ms Maki is really unloading on these two fourth grade girls 

Since Tomoyo clearly interacts with even the more spirit-like Clow Cards I really have to wonder why no one else in this town is seeing these giant ghost monsters loom around the city

Well I guess this episode is a direct response to my previous comment 

“I can’t stand scary stories” says the girl who spends her nights going into isolated areas and fighting magical ghosts

Seeing Sakura activate her Fly card really gives me overwhelming nostalgia for the days I wanted nothing more than to be a Cardcaptor I used to wave around a toy broom like that magic key ahhhhhhhh

In the absence of the first English voice and with the added gentle Japanese intonation for his speaking, I am constantly forgetting that Yukito’s character is a 16-year-old boy 

Toya is really casually bomb-dropping the fact that he used to see ghosts and Yuki’s just like ‘dope are there ghosts around now’

Omg Kero’s sad face as he dropped the flower in Sakura’s lap 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“I want to see if she wants to tell me something” like maybe ‘don’t run around town at night chasing ghosts ur 10!!!’ 

UHHHH AGAIN TOYA REAL CASUAL ABOUT THE GHOST THING 

Yukito Tsukishiro: Chronic Aid-er and Abet-er of Pre-teen Mischief 

Also if I’m right his name means something like “Ice White Moon?” Very heavy-handed foreshadowing lmao

“After we left, I went to the museum again and borrowed one” TOMOYO U CASED THE JOINT KJDHFKJHF

WHY IS EVERY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL KID IN THIS TOWN ABLE TO BREAK INTO THIS MUSEUM SO EASILY

Tomoyo is eerily well-prepared for this mission it’s like she has been planning to burgle a museum all her life

They really made an executive choice to have both a Yuuki and a Yuki that was a decision that someone made

Oh hey it’s the other pre-teen supehero!!! That guy!!

The more I think about it, the stranger the height difference between Sakura and her brother becomes bc compared to him she’s really like 2.5 feet tall they did not pick a proportion scale

U see this what I mean by gentle intonation, Syaoran somehow sounds older than Yuki simple by roughness of voice

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TOYA U DEFEND UR SISTER

“Here, a steamed pork bun” Yuki sure nows how to de-escalate lmao 

“That is made out of an insulator as well” Tomoyo is really prepared for any and every situation

It’s not fair of Li to compare what is probably years of magical training from his family to ‘trial by fire for eight weeks with a plush toy who doesn’t explain anything important until critical moments’

I’m really not sure what’s happening with Rika and the teacher but I DON’T LIKE IT

“I just want to be with you as long as possible” [cut to floral pattern] Tomoyo is aiming to supersede Yuki as Gentle Shojo Protagonist Sakura Fixates On looool

I’m sure there’s NOTHING significant about this familiar-looking sword brooch

Kero biting Li whenever whenever he says something rude to Sakura kghkjghk direct feminist action

What IS THIS business with Li running away flustered like that are pre-teen Cardcaptors ONLY allowed to have a crush on Yukito

“I guess I’ll have to beat him up once” Toya has zero qualms about fighting a ten-year-old

Two fourth graders giving Yukito chocolate while he peacefully hangs out with his boyfriend is the funniest version of executing this weirdness that could happen

What I’m really wondering is how the hell they cut out or explained away Li’s crush in the first English anime

“You were just a fledgling teacher and you married one of your [high school] students!!” u did WHAT what the FUCK MR. KINOMOTO I’m on Sonomi’s side

“Mother got married when she was 16″ MR. KINOMOTO CANCELLED! BANNED! THE HELL IS THIS!

“It was I who was granted time with Nadeshiko from her 16th to 27th birthdays” GO 2 JAIL DO NOT PASS GO 

This episode has added a lot of layers to this show none of which I like

“What kind of person was my dad” someone who should be banned from teaching

“Your father is a disgusting person” WELL

SONOMI I KNOW UR TRYING TO BE NICE BUT HE HAS AT LEAST ONE MAJOR FLAW

Lmao they’re not even giving context why Yuki is around anymore he’s just an accepted artifact of the Kinomoto household

How is that the Time card is Li’s but not Thunder since he also returned that one to its original form

“Their fastest confirmed speed is over 100km/h” Yamazaki leave Li alone he just wants to adore the sloths jhfkhgjhgkhg

Ahhhhhh Li helping Sakura get the Power card?? These motives are quite hard to read but it seems sweet

OMGGG @ TOMOYO MAKING SAKURA DEADLIFT A PLAYGROUND

“I heard a rumour that everyone who asked Kinomoto out has been denied.” Well. [x]

“It’s one of the seven strangest things at this school, that both Kinomoto and Tsukishiro don’t have girlfriends.” WELL. [x]

AWWWWW YUKI DOESN’T LEAVE THE OTHER PRE-TEEN FAN CLUB MEMBERS OUT OF HIS KIND GESTURES

[Hannibal Buress voice] I was so caught up in euphoria of festival arcs, that for like a minute I lived in a world where the rest of this anime didn’t exist 

TOYA BEING THE STAR OF DRAG CINDERELLA... OP UR MIND

I have no idea what the premise of the next Clow Card is but I really hope it’s “turn u into whatever ur acting as” bc I will LOSE my mind

I have not heard Yuki once intone as passionately as he did when he thought Toya was going to fall 

“You like someone else” 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

“I didn’t promise anyone else a dance” Can I just say I LOVE TOYA?

The moment of stillness before Yukito revealed who he was asking to dance lmao... the repressed teenage wlw inside me LIVES

Yuki and Toya tag-teaming as the Sakura Support Team my heart!!

Geolocating someone from a fax... the incredible 90sness of this act....

I seriously don’t understand this world in which you leave 5- and 10-year-olds unattended for hours where are your child welfare laws

I am really choosing to ignore how absolutely bananas the concept of Tomoyo having a hidden Sakura Movie Theatre is

Speaking of weird, are we just trusting that this old man is normal? Is everyone doing that? I’m still not ready to trust yet the Sakura’s dad situation really burned me

“Girls look their best when they smile” a sweet thought that would not fly if an old man I just met told me that lmao

I’m REALLY not trusting this old man dressing up this girl in his dead (missing?) granddaughter’s clothes and staring broodily when she mentions there is a parent with her

“My great-granddaughter seemed happy” YOUR WHAT NOW 

Their school trips seem much more fun than ours were we never went to the beach or fishing or got disappeared briefly in a cave

It continues to be funny how Sakura and Li have 0% tension re: Clow Cards, 99% tension re: Yukito who is already in a committed Something or the Other with Sakura’s brother

“Why were you on the roof” “Because it’s nice out today” LOL YUKITO

There’s no rhyme or reason to these card types huh some are like “I will destroy an entire zoo for fun” and other ones are like “mood lighting :)”

Sakura really isn’t out here to teach us any lessons lol it’s really a ‘get others to do your homework if you can get away with it’ episode

Rounding out the triad of superpowered pre-teens with Meilin I suppose

“Syaoran is my fiance” I have had it up to HERE with this anime cousinfuckery I don’t CARE if it’s cool in Japan or Hong Kong or whatever STOP BEING WEIRD WITH YOUR COUSINS

Poor Syaoran he was doing so well with getting along with Sakura until Meilin got here

"It was done by a girl again?” Oh my god is Meilin beating up grown men in parks for street cred

“It seems our relationship chart has gotten rather complicated” Tomoyo probably means astrology chart but here’s my understanding so far:

Speaking of complex relationships I wonder how Meilin will react to Syaoran’s crush on Yuki

This rivalry between Sakura and Meilin could not be more one-sided

I really was wondering for a second if the card was going to split in half

I love the vibe of Sakura and Toya teaming up to help their creepy dad but even MORE SO I love that Yukito is In This Household

“The contents are already up here” This episode really doesn’t hit the same way now that cloud storage exists and also what were all those floppy disks for if not to save your work Mr. Kinomoto

I love that Tomoyo always pulls her weight in her superhero sidekick role like she is here to support and help whenever needed 

Sakura using her powers to impress her crush with a ghost duet lmao these priorities 

“Sakura’s Little Adventure” I see what u did there

Kero’s little shoulder pat with his paw to let Sakura know he’s there aw

Omg this Clow Card is so cute “Is it your fault I’m so small now?” [nods pleasantly]

It is very bold of Sakura to be doing magic so casually when her brother and Yuki are right downstairs 

I like that this show recognizes the inherent intimacy of allowing someone to cut your hair

“Information about you has gotten around to the cards” well this is an ominous start to this funky tarot reading

Well the experience of seeing his little sister try to murder him has got to be traumatizing for Toya I hope he doesn’t remember this

UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM DID TOYA JUST FALL OFF OF A CLIFF

“Can you give me a break... and stop looking like Sakura” EXCUSE ME

“My mom’s up there too, so say hi to her for me” OH MY GOOOOD TOYA REALLY DOES SEE GHOSTS AHHHHHHHHHHH

WAIT SO IT WAS A CLOW CARD DOES TOYA HAVE MAGICAL POWERS TOO

Omg @ Toya feeding Yuki from his bed this really is an intimate episode

I kind of appreciate the slow build of this show like it took them 25 episodes to introduce meaningful stakes

“But it might be tougher than the earth going ‘boom!’ Depending on who you are...” Well hello threatening figure in sunglasses standing outside Sakura’s house what’s up

“I’ll look the other way” Ms Mizuki is literally this meme:

I can only assume that if Toya knows Ms. Mizuki then she must be a ghost

Personally if Mizuki gives Syaoran the heebie jeebies I trust his instincts

“Um... do you like Yukito too?” Oh my goooood they’re sincerely discussing being Not Straight in middle school in this 90s anime that I watched when I was 7 I cannot believe

“And it’s been a year since you told me you loved me here” WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS FAMILY WANT TO DATE SOMEONE TOO OLD FOR THEM WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING DATING SOMEONE TOYA’S AGE MIZUKI

Also I have to rethink every thought I had about Toya being gay. I mean bi is great too but my thoughts..... racing...........

“Because the next time I see you, you’ll have someone else that you’ll be in love with” Yukito BF confirmed but oh my GOD this relationship chart IS complicated good lord

If there’s anything the episode “Sakura and Her Shrine of Memories” has taught me it’s that everyone in this show is bisexual and all teachers in their neighbourhood should be in jail

I understand that Meilin is a kid but poor Syaoran he is constantly being harassed 

I love Yuki’s bottomless stomach lmao

Syaoran and Sakura have such a genuinely supportive relationship but it is very funny how they try simultaneously to get Yuki’s attention with the exact same words

“I’ve been thinking for a while that Mr. Terada is a lot like my dad” oh thank you Rika for someone finally being normal in this show

“Well it’s a harmless one” You see this is what I mean the dichotomy of Clow Cards is like... “I’m going trap you in a maze until you perish” or “I’m gonna give you a sugar rush :]”

I like that Sakura and Syaoran are starting to partner up as a duo on purpose like yessss I love a 1-2 finish and friendship development

Ahhh poor Syaoran he’s realizing that Yukito’s #1 in his life is the Kinomoto fam

We’re all familiar with the eternal struggle of whether using ur superpowers for school sports is cheating 

AWWW SYAORAN USING HIS POWERS FOR MAGICAL PEP TALKS AFTER HE HELPED TURN REI’S PET FOX INTO A POKEMON CARD THAT’S MY BOOOOY

“I will stomp on him” it’s been 31 episodes let Sakura stomp on her brother

Oh my GOOOD does this Big card mean that Sakura WILL FINALLY STOMP ON TOYA LMAO

Ur telling me that no one else in this ENTIRE TOWN notices this altercation of a giant preteen vs a dragon

Why does the logic for how voices travel based on size apply for the Little card (when Toya was speaking) and not for the Big card (when Sakura is speaking)

Sgskdhgkhkgjh honestly body switching as a trope will never not be funny

Syaoran blushing and running away from Sakura oh how the turn tables

Every domestic scene that Yuki and Toya have adds ten years to my life we love some gay/bi teens about to be gay/bi adults

Ffskhhfkj I absolutely cannot relate to this Southern Hemisphere nonsense of finding ten degrees celsius arctic cold like BRO that is a normal spring day here

“We’re not frozen because we have magical powers” I know that cutaway was to confirm Mizuki’s magical powers again but this would’ve been a hilarious time to reveal that like Yamazaki the Compulsively Lying Classmate had powers

Awwww he likes her now that’s cute 

“I got work that day” I will bet someone ten dollars that Toya is working at that quiz rally

Update from 5 minutes later: PAYPAL ME $10

Kero keeps whispering to the moon when in fact some iteration of the moon is right around the corner (literally)

GOOOOOOOOD SYAORAN REALIZING HE HAS A CRUSH ON BOTH HALVES OF THAT TEAM KILLS ME SWEET BOY

Shared Gaze of People Who Have Dated* Toya and Have Magical Powers They Haven’t Revealed Yet

*Go to jail Mizuki

I am really going crazy wondering when they’re gonna reveal stuff about Yukito like bitchhhhhhh I know you’re a moon man when will u tellll usss

How many more times will Sakura have this same threatening dream before she realizes her math teacher is probably going to try to kill her

Update from one minute later: I guess it was exactly one more time

“That’s right, Yukito’s birthday is on Christmas day” is this coming to be a coming of age where he like suddenly sprouts wings at age 17

I’ve been thinking this for a while but this show makes it seem like Japan has a much more fun approach to athletics than my school experiences

Yukito really is unflappable about hanging out with a bunch of kids half his height huh he’s like the Fourth Grader Whisperer

I KNEW IT YUKITO NEVER GOES WITH SAKURA ANYWHERE UNLESS HER BROTHER WILL ALSO BE WORKING THERE DFHKDFHKJ every time it’s just “Hey Toya :)”

“This kid...” HAHAH TOYA HAS JUST REALIZED THAT SYAORAN HAS A CRUSH ON HIS LITTLE SISTER AND HIS BOYFRIEND THE UTTER SUSPICION IN HIS TONE

“Wind become a binding chain” Whoops Sakura foiled by 4th grade knowledge of the elements

Oh shiiiit love a world-building moment now we have two card combos in play ayyyyy

Lmao @ Kero using his returned powers immediately for fireworks mood lighting is a serious Clow Card priority

“I would like to come again this year” everything in this show feels like foreshadowing for dramatic irony

[woo-san-shine]

Our Way

ateez college au

Premise: You and your best friend from high school move away to a university 3 hours away from your small hometown. You find yourself meeting a strange cast of characters along the way that will help you find your way throughout your freshman year.    

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: None 

Author’s Note: A work in progress!!! Mostly just for fun

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Chapter 6

The sun is beginning to set as we make our way across campus.  The air is still warm, and there are people lazily laying on the grass, talking loudly about plans for that evening, or just walking around their new home.  Hongjoong is leading the pack upfront with Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Jungho are still talking about the game that they had left behind, Yunho and Mingi are clowing each other with Sooyoung laughing extra loud every time Mingi says anything at all.

"She realizes Mingi isn't that funny, right?" A low voice says to me. It was San.  He had fallen into step next to me without me realizing.

"Oh, she acts like this whenever she really likes someone," I say to him glancing in her direction.  She had just let out another loud giggle at something Mingi had said.

"Hmmm..." San looks back and forth from Sooyoung to Mingi. "I guess I can see it."

"What, them getting together?"

"Yeah. But she's your friend, I'm sure you have more of an opinion."

"Sooyoung likes someone who... needs her, in a way.  She likes to be in control." Sooyoung had boyfriends in the past who couldn't handle her confidence and strong personality, or at least that's what I would tell her when the relationship would end.  "Also helps that they're in the same major," I add.

"Ah, that makes sense," he pauses.  "What are you studying?"

"I'm in the College of Art majoring in Graphic Design.  You?"

"I'm in the College of Education.  I want to be an elementary school teacher."

"That's adorable," I say before I can stop myself.  Goddamnit, why do I keep doing this? "I mean kids... are adorable..."

San smiles.  "Ha, yeah. I've always been good with kids. Yunho is in education too, so I’ll have classes with him."

"Aw that's nice to be with someone you know.”

“You’ll be with Yeosang though, right? He’s the same major as you.”

"Yeah I've heard, still have to actually meet him though."

"He's a treat alright. A little shy at first but he comes out of his shell once you get to know him."

The group comes to a stop in front of a large all-glass building. You can see the reflection of the sunset illuminating off of one side.

"Wow," Sooyoung says gazing up at the building.

"It's even better on the inside," Mingi says.

We enter the building and are greeted by a large lobby willed with giant cushy chairs, flat-screen TVs, and it’s very own dining hall.  It was much nicer that my dorm lobby, but it also seemed rather cold and unwelcoming.  Not as homey.  We pile into the elevator and I find myself squeezed in between San and Wooyoung.

"Aww, a rose between two thorns," Wooyoung says looking from San to me.

San rolls his eyes.

"Hey, I saw that!" Wooyoung yells.

The two joke back and forth for the entire elevator ride and the walk down the hallway to a room with a whiteboard labeled "Kang Yeosang" on it. Hongjoong knocks. After a few second and boy answers the door.

"Yeosang!!!!" Everyone except Sooyoung and I yell. The boys hurriedly make their way into the room, either hugging or giving the boy who answered the door a clap on the back.

"No, yeah, please. Make yourselves at home," he says sarcastically looking over his shoulder at everyone who had just run in. He turns back to us. He looks slightly puzzled.

"Uh, hi," I say. "I don't think you know us, but I'm Jaemin and this and Sooyoung and we..."

"Oh, right. It's nice to meet you, I'm Yeosang," he bows to us and them shakes our hand. "They told me about you. Please come in."

The thing that I noticed first about Yeosang was his deep voice. It was quite a shock coming out of his fairly small frame. He was probably one of the smallest out of the group, but his features were striking. He had thick brown hair that covered his forehead, bright green eyes, rather large ears, and high cheekbones. His face looked as if it had been carved out of marble, there was no other way to describe it.

We walk in and as he shuts the door behind us.  Sooyoung whispers "Seriously, what have they been saying about us?"

I shrug, but before I can say anything I am stopped in my tracks by what I see. We have just walked into one of the nicest college dorms I had ever seen. There was a full kitchen with a small island, a dining table and chairs, a living room with a large couch and a TV, and a separate room with a bedroom and bathroom.

"You're kidding me," Sooyoung says, mouth slightly gaping.

Yeosang sheepishly runs his hand through his hair. "Uh, yeah it's a nice place." He looks embarrassed. "I'm on the scholarship so..."

"Yeosang's family also has m-o-n-e-y," Yunho fake loudly whispers from his place at the dining table.

"Ya know everyone here knows how to spell and hear," Seonghwa says.

"I don't know about that, Mingi's pretty questionable," Wooyoung adds raising his hand in the air.

Mingi elbows Wooyoung hard in the ribs which makes him double over in pain. Yunho and Jongho snicker, Seonghwa rolls his eyes, but San and Hongjoong look slightly concerned.

"Wait, this was one of the options for living if you were on scholarship?" Sooyoung asks Yeosang.

"Yeah, I think so."

Sooyoung looks over in my direction for a brief second. I knew that she was probably thinking 'why the hell aren't we living here?' but there was no way that my family could've afforded this dorm. I look down at my shoes, slightly embarrassed.

"Do you both want a tour?" Yeosang asks us.

He takes Sooyoung and I around the apartment-style dorm while the others do indeed make themselves at home. By the time we're finished, most of the boys are in the living room. Someone had figured out how to turn on Yeosang's TV and started a game of Super Smash Bros. Sooyoung goes into the living room and confidently set herself next to Mingi on the couch. I walk over to the dining room table and sit across from Hongjoong, who was just sitting by himself and enjoying watching the boys play games. Yeosang follows and sits next to me.

"Are you the one in Graphic Design?" He asks me.

"Yep, that's me," I say with a small smile. "I've been told that's what you're studying too."

"Ha, yeah."

"Is your first class tomorrow Intro to Drawing at 9 a.m.?"

"Sure is."

"What?! Mine too!" Hongjoong says excitedly, breaking his stare from the intense game going on in the living room.

"What are you doing in that class?" Yeosang asks.

"It's for my minor! I told you that last month when we made our schedules."

"Oh right," he replies.

"You should totally sit with us tomorrow!" Hongjoong says to me.

"Really?" I ask.

"Of course!"

We talk for a while about what we think classes will be like before Yunho comes over and slams a large hand on the table.

"Alright people, it's almost time." He says to us.

"Time for what?" I ask him.

"The cleanse," he says seriously.

"The what?" I ask again, highly confused.

"Does she really not know," Wooyoung asks, walking over to stand next to Yunho.

I stare back at them, eyebrows raised.

"There's a tradition that the night before fall classes start all the freshman jump into the fountain," Wooyoung says to me.

"Wait," I say hands out stretched. "That huge fountain in the middle of campus?"

"That's the one," Wooyoung replies.

"But, why?" I ask the group.

"Some people think it's for good luck," Jongho answers.

"Almost like a cleanse before the semester starts," Hongjoong adds.

"I actually did hear about that, but I didn't know if it was true," Sooyoung says, still seated next to Mingi on the couch.

"That sounds kinda..." I start

"Dangerous? Silly? Pointless?" Seonghwa asks.

"Fun," I say.

"Well then let's get going!" Yunho yells, leading everyone out of the dorm.

We exit Yeosang's dorm and head in the direction of the fountain. It was dark now, but campus is still well-lit. There were a lot of people, presumably all freshman, heading in the same direction. Once we reach the fountain, there is a large crowd gathered around it. The fountain itself was probably a little smaller than a football field. There were large jets in the middle that shot water about 20 feet high. With the number of people that were here, it would be surprising if we all fit.

"How deep is it?" Yeosang asks, a little nervously.

"Oh come on, it probably only goes up to your knees," Mingi says nudging his shoulder.

"Hey, let's put our stuff over here!" Hongjoong yells, pointing to a large tree next to the crowd gathered around the fountain.

We head over in that direction. We all start to take our shoes off and pull our phones out of our pockets. Both Jongho and Wooyoung immediately take their shirts off and toss them with their things. Jongho's muscles and Wooyoung's confidence are very apparent. San follows, but no one else seems to be as daring or seems to care. Seeing this, Sooyoung promptly strips down to a sports bra and spandex shorts. She isn't the smallest girl, but boy was she confident. She waltzes past Mingi who isn't even trying to hide staring at her. I look down at my own shirt, a white cotton T-shirt.

"It's gonna become see-through once it gets wet anyway, might as well take it off," Sooyoung whispers to me, winking.

I sigh and walk back over to where I had put my shoes and my phone. I peak around to make sure no one is looking at me and wriggle out of my shirt. I am now only wearing a black lace bralette and high-waisted jean shorts. This is as far as I'm going. I wrap my arms around myself and head over to we're the group is standing by the edge of the fountain.

"Two minutes until 10 o'clock!" Jongho yells after checking his watch.

"So what, do we just walk in?" Sooyoung asks the boys.

"Some people walk, some people fall in, some people swim all the way to the jets, really whatever you want," Hongjoong says.

"I have an idea," I say kinda shyly.

Every single boy's eyes look over to me.

"Uh, what if we all stood on the edge and jumped? Like, all together," I say. There's a pause. "Carefully, of course," I add.

They all glance in Hongjoong's direction, almost as if to get his approval.

"I like it! Everybody climb on the edge, quick!" He says.

We all form a line and step into the end he of the fountain. People around us are either with doing the same, sitting on the edge, or backing up like they are going to hurdle over the edge. I find myself in between Sooyoung and San. His face is shining with excitement, dimples in full view. He looks down at me and we both grin. He looks over my head and then cocks it to the side, indicating to look at what's going on next to me. I turn just in time to watch Mingi, who is next to Sooyoung, ask if he can hold her hand while we all jump.

"AWWWW HOW CUUUUUUTE," Wooyoung's loud voice echos from down the line. "I want to hold hand too!!!" He immediately grabs the hands of Yunho and Seonghwa on either side of him. Yunho sways precariously on the edge from the force of Wooyoung's hand holding and Seonghwa rolls his eyes.

A countdown begins to ripple across the crowd.

"TEN, NINE, EIGHT!"

The boys start whooping and cheering.

"SEVEN, SIX, FIVE!"

I can’t hold back my laughter as I look around at all the excited faces about to jump into the fountain. How could something so juvenile bring so much joy to a bunch of teenagers?

"FOUR, THREE, TWO!" 

At the last second, San grabs my hand and squeezes it.

"ONE!"

I feel my feet leaving the edge of the fountain. For a split second, I know nothing except the warm breeze through my hair and the pressure of San's hand in mine. But soon my body is engulfed in freezing cold water. The bottom of the fountain is surprisingly slippery and the moment my feet touch the bottom, I start falling backward. San starts to fall too and we both try our best to steady each other but eventually we fall into the cool water, completely submerged.

I quickly get up and brush my hair out of my eyes. San is kneeling on the ground, rubbing the water out of his eyes. When he looks up at me, we laugh at how silly we both look. I gaze around to look for the others. Everyone around us seems to have either fallen too, or is still climbing over the edge.  People are laughing, shouting, swimming, and splashing in the water. I find Hongjoong, who is wading from person to person making sure they are okay.

"Hey! You guys good?" He yells towards San and I.

I give him a thumbs-up as San starts to wade towards Wooyoung.  He whispers something into his ear and they both start to creep over towards Hongjoong, who has his back turned.  Once they reach him, Wooyoung grabs Hongjoong’s arms and raises them above his head.  San goes for his legs.  The pair hoist above the water and start to swing him back and forth.  The others notice and start chanting.  

“HONGJOONG! HONGJOONG! HONGJOONG!” 

After a few more swings, they toss him back into the water.  A few seconds pass before he emerges from the water.  He stares back at his friends, all of whom are giggling or cackling with laughter.  He pretends to act mad before a huge smile spreads across his face, even bigger than mine. 

We spend a good thirty or so minutes just playing around in the water, starting with a crackhead version of ‘sharks and minnows’.  Once a game of chicken starts, I decide to sit this one out.  I wade over to an edge of the fountain that isn’t occupied and lie on my back, floating atop of the water.  I stare up at the night sky.  

The last day and a half had been so busy that I hadn’t even had the chance to really just stop and think.  Classes start tomorrow.  Am I prepared?  Will the professors like me?  Do I even know where my classes are? 

I figure suddenly obstructs my view of the night sky.  It’s Jongho.  

“Mind if I sit with you?” he asks. 

I sit up and lean my back against the fountain’s edge. “No, of course,” I pat the top of the water next to me. 

He takes a seat. 

“This is pretty fun, huh,” I say to him.  

“Yeah, pretty cool tradition.” He pauses for a second. “Um.. I just wanted to say thanks.” 

“For what?” 

“For uh... wanting to hang out with us I guess.” He looks over to his friends and Sooyoung who are still playing in the water. 

I am taken aback. “Well, you don’t have to thank me.” 

“I do, really.  We haven’t really had friends outside of our group in so long.  Most people either think we are too intimidating or too weird to want to hang out with us.” 

Well, he wasn’t totally wrong.  The group as a whole was slightly intimidating and the way the interacted with each other could come across as a little weird. 

I wave my hand to him. “I should be the one thanking you!  If it wasn’t for you guys Sooyoung and I would probably be cooped up in or dorm staring at the wall.”

He chuckles. 

“Really, thank YOU for introducing us to everyone,” I say as genuinely as I can. 

“I’m glad you needed help carrying all those boxes yesterday,” he says smiling.

I look over at him. When I meet his gaze, he shyly looks down and fidgets with his fingers.  I wanted to say something nice back, but before I can open my mouth a wave a water washes over us.  

“Hey! We’re about to head out you two.” Wooyoung had come over and splashed us. 

We all climb out of the fountain and rush over to the tree where we had put our things.   

“Will we be seeing you again?” Yunho asks me, his large eyes extra wide.  

“I sure hope so,” I reply.  

As I am saying goodbye to Yunho, Wooyoung, and Yeosang, San walks up to me. 

“You have a leaf in your hair,” I say as he stops in front of me.  I stand on my tip-toes to reach to pick it out of his black and red-streaked hair. 

“Oh, thank you,” he says.  “It was nice to meet you, Jaemin.” He wears a soft smile, dimples only slightly peaking out. 

“Uh, no of course. It was nice to meet you too,” I say shyly.  I clutch my t-shirt to my chest. 

Before I can say anything else, Sooyoung grabs me by the arm and starts to drag me towards the direction of our dorm.  Maybe it’s a good thing I keep getting interrupted when talking with these boys.  I don’t know why I’m always at such a loss for words.  

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[animebw]

Binge-Watching: Cardcaptor Sakura, Day 8, Episodes 47-49

It’s time for the final third of Cardcaptor Sakura to begin! In which the show’s structure changes drastically, a new enemy appears, and I worry that one of my least favorite tropes is rearing its ugly head.

The Asshole Triad

We’re only three episodes in to Cardcaptor Sakura’s Act 3, and already things feel very different. The driving goal of “collect all the cards” created a very structured framework for the show to operate in for the past 40-odd episodes, not just in the Monster of the Week episode template, but in the sense that there was a defined goal we were always progressing towards, however slowly. Now, all that’s been blown open. The show’s structure feels looser, the characters more reactive, and the future less clear. None of those are criticisms, I should clarify; it’s an observation. What used to be a show about our protagonists acting on their own, driving toward one big Thing, has now become a clash of forces, our heroes facing an external threat that has taken over the driving action of the plot.

Thus, enter The Asshole Triad, a trio of mysterious figures who use their magical talents to send new and destructive dangers after Sakura and her friends. And while the show hasn’t revealed their identities yet, it’s blisteringly obvious who they are. There’s Eriol, the mysterious transfer student who may or may not be the reincarnation of Clow Reed. There’s the Glomphy Lady who’s making Toya’s life miserable (just for the record, I fucking love her). And there’s the flying panther, who I’m guessing is the cat from the new OP. So far, we know nothing about their goals or intentions, other than they’re here to stir shit up something fierce.

Magic the Gathering

And stir shit up they do, as their magic pits Sakura against a new kind of challenge: learning to be her own mage and carry on Clow’s work on her own terms. Now that she’s obtained her own magic power, she can’t work the same magic she always has. She needs a new incantation to summon her staff, and to transform every Clow Card into her own Sweet Sakura Card (Tomoyo, you are a master of nomenclature) to use it. And the effort of doing so takes a toll on her, sapping her energy until she has to sleep for hours. With just that one change, the stakes suddenly feel much higher. Sakura can’t rely on Clow’s magic to carry her through; she can only rely on her own strength. That means every spell she casts matters a thousand times more; she can’t afford to make mistakes, or the effort of the mistake will leave her incapacitated. Over the course of this show, Sakura’s been learning to trust in her own strength and figure out her own course through this magical madness, and her development here continues that trend. Taking her first unaided steps is gonna be a challenge, but she’ll come out the other end stronger for it.

In other news, it’s not just Sakura’s magic that feels substantially different. Both Kero and Yue flit back and forth between their earthbound and true forms, meaning we pretty much have a couple of godlings hanging around Sakura constantly. This can be funny- the sight of a majestic moon angel looking helplessly cramped in Sakura’s pastel room had me in stitches- but it’s also a little disquieting. The mere fact that Yuktio is still hanging around with no memory that he’s nothing but the mortal skin of a divine entity, and Sakura trying to figure out how to discern between them, if she can at all, is weird as heck, in a good way. Sakura no longer exists in her relatively normal world: magic and monsters are tied into the fabric of her very existence. From now on, there really is no going back.

Please No Love Triangle

All that’s well and good, but there’s something concerning me about the new direction the show’s taking: it looks like it’s setting up an honest-to-god love triangle, after so successfully holding off for the past two “seasons”. And if you’ve read, well, pretty much any of my binge-watches up to this point, you know that I looooooooathe love triangles. They’re so often annoying, unnecessary diversions, making the plot screech to a halt for obnoxious will-they-won’t-they bullshit without fleshing out themes or characters. So far, Cardcaptor has avoided this trap, despite its many romantic tangles, by not pretending like any of the would-be “side bitches” (which I use to describe both male and female players) actually have a chance at being canon. Let’s be real, we all knew from the word Go that Sakura and Yukito would never be a thing, that it was just a puppy love crush, and the show didn’t try to force them together. Ditto Meiling, who’s love for Li is never treated as a potential endgame. It’s helped keep the romantic fumbling endearing as opposed to frustrating, because it’s all based in how the characters interact with and learn from each other rather than trying to set up pointless ship wars. In other words, good storytelling and character-building.

But now, I’m worried. Eriol’s scenes with Sakura are all underscored with romantic music, framed with soft, glowing cinematography. If I was watching those scenes completely on their own, I would absolutely peg them as romantic in nature. Between that and Li’s obvious jealousy, it’s clear they’re trying to set-up a conflict between the two boys, a question over who Sakura should end up with. Problem is, I already KNOW the answer, because even if I didn’t know that Eriol was part of the Asshole Triad and possibly Clow Reed as well, there’s no way a story would supplant such an obvious OTP in Li and Sakura this late in the series. Anyone with a basic storytelling knowledge could tell you that. Heck, even if I was watching this as a kid, I could tell you that. There’s no investment here, because I already know how it’s going to play out. So all it can do is spin its wheels for however long it goes on, setting up would-be “which boy do I like” non-starters without developing the characters in interesting ways. And for a show that’s been so comfortably above all that nonsense up till now... yeah, that’s really frustrating. Carcpator Sakura is better than that.

And I hope I’m wrong. I hope that Sakura finds out his secret soon and brings this subplot to an end quickly. I want to believe in this show. It’s been doing everything so well. Please, don’t fail me now.

Odds and Ends

-Oh my god Sakura you can’t just pawn your math homework off on Kero

-”No matter how much i eat, I’m still hungry.” Same.

-Sakura singing to herself, not realizing Li was in the room with her and hearing every bit of it? Adorable.

-Truly, Tomoyo not being able to film Sakura in action anymore is the greatest tragedy of all.

-aksjdhaslkdj what the dick Toya you can’t just steal a man’s popsicle like that

-See, when she doesn’t react to the “kaiju” comment, Toya knows something’s up.

-NOT THE TIME TAKESHI

-I still don’t get how fire beats water.

-Alright look Yukito I know you’re also eating for the angel who lives in your flesh but even I think that’s a little excessive.

-I’ll give Eriol bastard this, he plays a mean piano. Shame he had to Mario 64 it.

And with that, the final chapter has begun. Are we really 70% of the way through this show already? I never want it to end. See you next time!

[deltamovies]

Wilson Free Full HD watch online & movie trailer

Release Year: 2017

Rating: 5.8/10 ( voted)

Critic's Score: /100

Director: Craig Johnson

Stars: Woody Harrelson, Sandy Oian-Thomas, Shaun Brown

Storyline Harrelson stars as Wilson, a lonely, neurotic and hilariously honest middle-aged misanthrope who reunites with his estranged wife (Laura Dern) and gets a shot at happiness when he learns he has a teenage daughter (Isabella Amara) he has never met. In his uniquely outrageous and slightly twisted way, he sets out to connect with her.

Writers: Daniel Clowes, Daniel Clowes, Woody Harrelson, Sandy Oian-Thomas, Shaun Brown, Woody Harrelson, Sandy Oian-Thomas, Shaun Brown, James Robert Miller, Brett Gelman, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Judy Greer, Toussaint Morrison, Andrew Hawtrey, Richard Ooms, Shawn J. Hamilton, Tonita Castro, David Warshofsky, Lauren Weedman, Kimora Collins, , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Cast: Woody Harrelson –

Wilson

Sandy Oian-Thomas –

Dog Lover

Shaun Brown –

Laptop Man

James Robert Miller –

Bearded Man

Brett Gelman –

Robert

Mary Lynn Rajskub –

Jodie

Judy Greer –

Shelly

Toussaint Morrison –

Diego

Andrew Hawtrey –

Commuter

Richard Ooms –

Edwin

(as Richard G. Ooms)

Shawn J. Hamilton –

Attendant

(as Shawn Hamilton)

Tonita Castro –

Nanny

David Warshofsky –

Olsen

Lauren Weedman –

Cat Lady

Kimora Collins –

Granddaughter

Taglines: Positively Negative

Details

Official Website: Official site

Country: USA

Language: English

Release Date: 3 Jan 2017

Filming Locations: St. Paul, Minnesota, USA

Opening Weekend: $336,227

(USA) (24 March 2017)

Gross: $652,997

(USA) (14 April 2017)

Technical Specs

Runtime: 94 min

Did You Know?

Trivia: Derek Cianfrance was at one point attached to direct the film before dropping out to direct The Light Between Oceans (2016). See more »

User Review

Author:

Rating: 8/10 In 1944, legendary Hollywood producer Daryl F. Zanuck made a movie called "Wilson", a biopic about our highly educated, dignified and visionary 28th President – and the film went on to win the Academy Award for Best Picture. 2017's "Wilson" (R, 1:34) is NOT a remake of that film. Not even a little. The more recent "Wilson" is also not a spin-off of "Cast Away". The title character in 2017's "Wilson" doesn't have any of the qualities of that President who led us through World War I and who established the forerunner of the United Nations (except maybe for… honesty). And this Wilson has much more personality that Tom Hanks' famous volleyball buddy. This Wilson is more like a less volatile cousin of Michael Douglas' character in 1993's "Falling Down"… and is like a half-brother to Bill Murray's character in 2014's "St. Vincent". But, notwithstanding those cinematic comparisons, "Wilson", as portrayed by Woody Harrelson, is an original and unique character and one who I wish I could be like… sometimes.

Wilson is a lonely middle-aged man with a lot of faults, but he doesn't mean any harm. Wilson is honest… to a fault. He's impulsive… to a fault. He's even empathetic… to… well, you get the point. You see, it's Wilson's world and we're just living in it. He'll stop a stranger walking her dog, talk only to the dog – in a cutesy animal voice – and then act confused when the woman yanks her dog away and looks at Wilson like he's a weirdo. Wilson will ride a virtually empty train, sit right next to a businessman wearing earbuds, interrogate him about his life and not feel the least bit uncomfortable when the man forcefully asks Wilson to go sit somewhere else. Wilson is also the kind of person who will go visit an old friend in hopes of renewing their relationship but then change his mind and calmly tell his friend that he had forgotten what a joyless and unkind person his friend really is. But in spite of all this, the most important thing to know about Wilson is that he just wants to be loved… on his own terms, of course.

One fine day, Wilson decides to go looking for his ex-wife, Pippi (Laura Dern). He remembers Pippi as basically a crack whore – and that's how he describes her to everyone he encounters who he thinks might know her. With the help of Pippi's very WASPy sister (Cheryl Hines), Wilson is able to track Pippi down to her waitress job, where she is using a different name, but is still kind of a mess. Pippi is none too happy to see Wilson – or to endure the problems that his presence causes for her at work – but she still falls right back into bed with him. That's when she reveals that she had Wilson's baby sixteen years before and put her up for adoption. Wilson is beyond excited that he's a father and talks Pippi into coming with him to find their daughter, a surly, heavy-set girl named Claire (Isabella Amara). Claire lives with upper-middle-class adopted parents who neglect her… but she's still not thrilled to meet and be stalked by Wilson and Pippi. Nevertheless, Wilson is thrilled to have an "instant family" and won't give up on Pippi or Claire. And with a man like Wilson driving this train… what could possibly go wrong?? "Wilson" is wonderfully crude, funny and heart-felt. Wilson acts like we all wish we could act… sometimes. Personally, I envy his fearlessness and his ability to be himself and not care what other people think. Of course, he's also a jerk, he knows it and he doesn't care, so that part… not quite as admirable. In adapting his own innovative graphic novel of the same name, American cartoonist Daniel Clowes gives us a fully-drawn character who never really changes who he is as a person, but who still manages some growth. As directed by Craig Johnson ("The Skeleton Twins") and starring the versatile Harrelson, we get a fully realized character who is equal parts funny and obnoxious, but who still comes off as sympathetic. Besides the usual great work by the star, Dern gives a transformative performance and Amara shines in her most significant role to date. Margo Martindale, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Brett Gelman and (especially) Judy Greer contribute strong supporting performances. "Wilson" is an enjoyable foray into an uninhibited mind – and a reminder why we wouldn't really want to live that way. "A-"

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