#but nobody will come. it's my job to ask for reasonable help from the relevant authorities. and currently they can't offer that care.
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anaalnathrakhs · 10 months ago
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i keep looking at posts like "i stopped a binge" "i prevented a binge" and all of them are like. "i waited until the urge went away". buddy. the urge doesn't go away. there's no urge. there's just nothing else to do. i don't have anything else to do. every time i stop eating no matter how long i sit with the feeling or not, i always go for more food because there is genuinely nothing else in my life. nothing is enjoyable anymore. the world sucks. no matter what i force myself to do it's the only positive thing i can ever find.
#like okay cool i let the people around me guilt me into eating whatever they think i should be eating#i get it. i'm so fucking stupid for missing out opportunities to try new food. i should never buy the same food twice.#i should always buy all the variety i can and try everything.#i'm so stupid for having eaten the same stuff in a loop for years and years#i'm a massive fucking weirdo for not eating when other people are eating#i keep stealing food from my parents and the people around me i keep taking way too much of stuff intended for a group#nowhere i go will be free of obligations#i have to keep buying my own poison because everywhere i go there's other people's food waiting for me anyway#my parents keep looking at me like a freak no matter if i eat dinner with them or not#they see me binge and nothing happens#we just ignore it#i just eat until Designated Eating Time is finished#hunger doesnt ever have anything to do with it i just eat when food's in front of me#i need the ritual i need the structure it brings to my life#both meals with other people and my ritual binges#i dont know what to do with myself when i'm not binging#and it's like i'm not allowed to not want food#to other people#it's like i must necessarily want all food and anytime i refuse it's restriction#my friends are always like ooooh you can grab some of my fries if you want#or oooooh do you want the rest of my cookie#or ooooooh and how about you are you ordering something#and i'm like :) yeah sure :) like anybody else would :)#and to myself. to myself i don't know. i think i just want to give up. i want to suffer and i want to fuck up so badly.#so badly that no one can deny i need help#i want to be proven right. i'm just a little weakling and all i'm good for is to haunt the halls of a mental hospital.#no responsabilities no pressure nothing but a pitiable suffering victim#i want somebody or something to swoop in and save me#but nobody will come. it's my job to ask for reasonable help from the relevant authorities. and currently they can't offer that care.#so fuck me i guess
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faerywhimsy · 2 years ago
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TL;DR
Nobody: ....
Me: So Benji Mahmoud could have been an incredibly important and dynamic character, with relevant ties to multiple themes Prince Lestat did a good job pulling on. I would have been real happy to have seen more of his character and, since I didn't, I guess I'll settle for writing about it here.
Hyperlinks go to the posts I thought of as I wrote this.
I've been feeling pulled to post a lot of head canons that involve Benji lately and I think I'm starting to kinda stumble across why it all of a sudden feels important to me.
Like a lot of things in this fandom, it actually starts with Daniel.
Daniel is the only character we see in the original TVC trilogy, in real time, being human and then being brought into the blood. He's just Some Guy who happens to start all this shit that blows out 13 books. And that's relatable. Most series have that character through which the reader comes into the world of the story. It's an established narrative technique.
And then we get the final TVC trilogy, the three books we never thought we'd get because Anne kinda finished the series a decade before and went on to bigger and better things.
*cough* not *cough*
So we get the final trilogy. In which we are introduced to a blond, male character, human when we meet him but, oh no, he gets involved with vampires and ultimately ends up begging to be turned, then spends the rest of the series as a vampire.
Stop me if you've heard this story before.
Now I've got nothing against Viktor. His romance with Rose seems sweet, and he's always going to have a bit of the centre stage just because he's the literal genetic clone of our main protagonist, Lestat. It's a bit hokey but, you know, so is a lot of what we ended up with in the later books. We're just grateful it didn't all end with Blood Canticle and now weed out the things we like.
It's just... I can't help thinking an existing youthful vampire from TVC would have given deeper resonance to the story than introducing a new character with a similar trajectory did.
What might the last trilogy might have been like if Benji—the third human-turned-vampire we meet between these two characters—had been just a little bit more utilised. Not as a love interest, or a plot point, but for himself. Cause just his placement in time and circumstance offers a lot of narrative potential.
We first meet Benji Mahmoud as an important character in Armand's recovery after he attempts suicide. He asks to be made into a vampire, but isn't obsessed by it, pretty much accepts it and moves on when Armand tells him it can't be done. ("Oh, never. I don't have such a power. It's never done." "Then who made you?" "I was born out of a black egg." - TVA)
There's a lot of a sense that he and his companion Sybelle are replacements to a writer who no longer wished to write about Daniel in Armand's emotional trajectory, and I know that put me off both these characters for years. But the side effect is, we get a continuity to show Armand doesn't just stop after Daniel walks out on him, and can choose to read that Armand was hurting and traumatised when recounting these events to David.
Back to Benji. When Benji is turned, he is 12 years old and it's the end of 1998. There's a reason I like both of these things: 12 years old is just about the youngest I've heard any us fans picking up the TVC series of books (omg that's way too young for this content, my friends, I mourn all our brain chemistry), and the birth year of 1986 makes Benji not just a millennial, but lot closer in age and experience to a lot of us than the far off birth year of 1952 for Daniel-the-Baby-Boomer. I also think it would have been a lot easier to remember to read Daniel as not a millennial had there been another character front and centre who was.
The way I see it, Benji could have added so much nuance as a character of TVC if he'd been fleshed out. Most of the time if I remember to think of Benji in canon, he seems like the faded middle child, a plot point with a name in Prince Lestat, nothing resembling a fully fleshed out character.
And that makes me sad. Sad for his character, and sad for us. I'm not saying get rid of Viktor, don't get me wrong, I'm just saying that in a cast of 183282 vampires, there was surely enough room to do more with Benji than give him a radio show recorded within the walls of Trinity Gate.
Like, just off the top of my head: Did he ever leave those walls? Was he still as much of a smart ass with a commentary on everything after 20 years in the blood? What did he figure out that he liked to do with his time when he wasn't recording? Did he remain close to Sybelle? How did he feel about forever holding the visage of a 12 year old? What kind of evil doers did he hunt? What was his relationship with Armand? What did he think of Daniel? Was it a bit awkward coming face to face with his maker, Marius, after so long? Was he included with the guys whenever Armand, Lestat and Louis caught up? Is he more like Daniel at court, really fitting in more amongst the more ancient characters, or does he prefer coming across as one of the wiser young ones when he visits Auvergne?
Hell, if Viktor is basically Lestat's son and Benji is kinda Armand's son, what do the interactions of that Next Generation look like??
Conversely, what were Armand's thoughts beyond the immediate aftermath of Benji and Sybelle having been brought into the blood? Did he lose interest in Benji after Marius turned him? Was he protective of him? Were there times when he looked at Benji and felt woefully guilty about Claudia who died for the offence of being a child vampire? Was Benji a way for Armand to heal the mistakes he had made with both Claudia and Daniel in different ways before him? Louis and Benji live in the same house for at least 10 years together; what were their interactions like and did Armand have any thoughts on those?
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ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years ago
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Misread Details, Part One
CW: Death talk, BBU, dehumanizing language about Box Boys
A Box Boy Serial Killer On the Loose? Part 1 of 3
r/LetsTalkTrueCrime
•Posted by u/oshaycanyousee 1 month ago
Hello, r/LetsTalkTrueCrime! 
I’ve posted this write-up in a couple other reddits, but someone pointed me to this one as being a good place for discussion, and this is a really weird set of three unsolved murders (well, one death and two murders? Maybe?) and I wanted to see if any of you have some thoughts or maybe more info on these cases.
Three men died within two years in three different cities. 
While each death is unique, all of them have one thing in common - fingerprints and DNA from a single human pet was found in every single location. 
Let’s start with the first death.
Nathaniel Matthew Benson, who went by “Nanda” (a childhood nickname given to him by a younger brother who couldn’t pronounce his full name as a toddler, apparently), was forty-one years old at the time of his death. 
He was born and raised in North Dakota by very strict religious parents, and had three younger brothers and one younger sister. There is some disagreement here about whether his home life was peaceful or not. His younger sister claims that the environment at home was strict but fair, and the family was mostly happy. Two of his three younger brothers tell a different story, about a father who put too much on their shoulders, especially “Nanda” as the eldest, and the pressure they felt to be perfect.
His other brother, the youngest of the family, has never given a public interview beyond a short statement that he and Nanda were not close, and he did not feel able to speak about his character. There were nearly fifteen years between the oldest and youngest childrens’ births, and Nathaniel had moved out of the house by the time the youngest was four years old, so this makes sense.
By all accounts, Nathaniel was an excellent student, getting all A’s throughout his years of education. He was considered quiet and shy, and most of his high school classmates don’t have many standout memories of him. He graduated valedictorian of his high school class, then surprised everyone by stating he wouldn’t be attending college, and instead would be taking a “gap year” to travel the United States using money from his graduation party and also some he’d saved up from working part-time retail and restaurant jobs.
Between ages 18 and 19, he took his small secondhand four-door vehicle around the nation, calling home every week or so to give his family updates, sending postcards, etc. After about six months, though, the phone calls and postcards became fewer and fewer, and eventually he told everyone he had gotten a new job and decided to forgo college entirely.
His family was shocked - and by all accounts his father was furious - but Nathaniel refused to budge. 
There was apparently a very hostile phone conversation about one year after this decision which was the last time Nathaniel Benson spoke to his father directly until his death.
After this, his family received only sporadic communications sent from a P.O. Box located in central California, in a mid-sized city known as Dosaba. He never did give anyone an actual home address.
He occasionally called them, mostly his sister and one of his brothers, but surviving family states that the phone number he called from was different every single time, and usually didn’t have a California area code.
“He used burner phones for everything,” Nathaniel’s sister Samantha told WNDR, a local news station, shortly after his mysterious death. “And he would never tell us what job he did. We asked and asked and Nanda would just say ‘oh, this and that’, or ‘I do contractor work’. Just answers that don’t tell you anything. It was all very mysterious, very secretive. You know, we talked about how maybe he’d gotten into drugs or something, but my brother wasn’t a drug user, ever. It just seems so out of character for the brother I knew.”
“He was always reading his Bible when we knew him,” Younger brother Timothy stated. “But you know, I asked him once if he had found a home church wherever he was living, and he laughed and laughed. Then he just said, ‘they’d have a lot of opinions on how I live my life if I did that’, and changed the subject. So I knew whatever he was doing, it probably wasn’t good.”
There has been a lot of speculation by investigators that “Nanda” had indeed picked up employment within some kind of drug smuggling group at this time. Evidence found after his death has even opened the possibility that he worked as a high-end hitman.
There’s a lot of international travel during this time period, far more than can be accounted for unless travel was part of his workplace responsibilities. Employment records show him working as a sales manager for a company called Sunrise Investments, but this is believed by many to be a shell corporation hiding something much, much darker. 
However, all of this remains speculative, and there’s never been any proof that Nathaniel Benson did anything but the financial sales the company claims. No one ever did much work with him, and other employees at the company stated contact with him occurred entirely by phone and fax (and then e-mail) at this time. 
When investigators pored over the documents after getting a warrant, they weren’t able to find anything suspicious - and that in and of itself seems suspicious to some.
For years, Benson seemed to simply drop off the map entirely when it comes to local information - investigators did find that he owned a vintage Corvette that he fixed up himself (found via vehicle registry and taxes listings, which is public knowledge), and that about two years before his death he bought a large five-bedroom house with a basement in Dosaba, which he renovated in total secrecy. I was able to find records of him paying home taxes through his mortgage company, and that he spoke to local contractors and building companies, paying for consultations about the renovations he undertook. 
None of the companies he spoke to kept any kind of detailed notes about these consultations, but you’ll see why it’s relevant when I discuss what was found after his death.
Nathaniel Benson’s life came to an abrupt end on August 16th, 20XX, but nobody would find his body for more than two days. 
On August 18th, his cleaning lady arrived for her usual weekly visit to discover him crumpled at the foot of the stairs, face-up. She called 911 immediately and first responders arrived within twenty minutes to her white-faced and nearly silent. 
First responders noted that Nathaniel’s eyes were closed, unusual for a violent death. A wet cloth had been laid over them to help them stay that way. The medical examiner stated later that this would have to have been done within the first hour after he died, before rigor mortis could stiffen muscles and lead to them opening again. 
That whoever witnessed his death knew to do this is deeply unusual, and may be a sign of affection or grief. 
The autopsy found that Nathaniel had met his end approximately 36 hours before he was found, and had died due to an undiagnosed heart defect that had resulted in cardiac arrest. 
Sounds like any sudden death that can simply be written off as sad but natural, right? Well, there’s a few details that make things a little murkier than that, and have led to his death being listed as “undetermined” officially, and possibly including foul play.
For one thing, Nathaniel hadn’t simply collapsed next to the stairs - he had fallen, or been pushed, and showed evidence of bone fractures and head trauma consistent with the fall. A bit of blood was found on one step that came from his injuries. This head trauma would likely not have been fatal if he had received medical attention, but cardiac arrest ensured death even if head trauma didn’t. 
Did Nathaniel Benson suffer a heart attack and fall down the stairs, dying only when he reached the bottom? Maybe. 
Or maybe he really was pushed, the shock of it is the reason he went into cardiac arrest. 
There’s one more unusual fact that makes foul play a possibility in this mysterious death. 
Nathaniel Benson owned a legally purchased Box Boy, no known legal name, who went by his original purchase number: 334235. The Box Boy was a Romantic designation, and was purchased from Facility 001 in Berras, a city in Southern California, where the WRU headquarters is located.
WRU, when contacted by investigators, easily agreed to meet and provide detectives with information regarding the Box Boy’s purchase, as well as the DNA and fingerprint samples the company keeps on file. 
According to WRU’s internal records, this Boxie was not only a designated Romantic, but a specialty Romantic, trained for ‘masochism’. This tracks with multiple books on, shall we say, somewhat salacious interests that Benson had for his love life.
As Benson never seemed to date anyone or maintain a relationship, it’s theorized that the Boxie was his way of dealing with the stress of his work. WRU noted that Benson had contacted them after the purchase was complete to give his compliments on the Boxie’s training and note that he was ‘perfect’ and they ‘got along just fine’. 
The Box Boy’s fingerprints were found all over the house, which is totally normal. He was living there full-time, after all. But investigators also located something a bit more unusual: a secret room within the home that the cleaning lady had never seen before, hidden behind a carefully camouflaged door.
This is what Benson had been working on when he ‘renovated’ his newly purchased home: He built a secret dungeon room with stone walls and a concrete floor, outfitted with a dip and a “drain”, plus a garden hose hooked up on one wall. 
The room also had rows upon rows of cabinets full of various tools consistent with a ‘hard BDSM lifestyle’, according to one detective. I wasn’t able to get ahold of the actual list of items found, but was able to determine that whips, knives, ‘unspecified implements purchased from adult stores’, and other things were found.
Tests done on the walls and floor showed that blood had been spilled nearly everywhere in the room at one time or another, and large amounts of it. There was also evidence of blood found in Nathaniel Benson’s bedroom, primarily on the floor and in the bed. A small faded stain was found on the headboard just below a set of cuffs hooked into it.
A few small dried bloodstains were also found around the master bathroom sink, and investigators were able to determine the blood matched the DNA of the Box Boy, and was left there much more recently than the rest of the blood in the house, possibly even on the day of Benson’s death. 
Here’s the thing, though: the Box Boy himself was nowhere to be found. 
Was this Box Boy tired of being used as a human pincushion? Did he take matters into his own hands and commit the ultimate crime a pet can do, killing his owner? If he did, he no doubt knew what happens to pets who kill their owners, usually either being ‘put down’ or wiped clean to be resold.
Is our Boxie a killer right from the start? Or was he only a witness to a natural death who panicked and ran away?
Without locating the Boxie himself, it’s impossible to know.
The cleaning lady remembered him, and gave a description: Somewhere between 5’8” and 5’11”, wiry but with some muscle, usually dressed in just a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt when she was in the house. He has short dark hair, brown eyes, and an angular face. She mentioned visible scars on his arms, but none on his face. She was told to call him only “pet” if she needed to speak to him. She stated his voice was slightly hoarse and rough, as if he had a sore throat all the time. 
They had only one significant interaction, where the cleaning lady inquired about a large bruise on the Boxie’s face and bandages on his arms. He apparently told her, at the time, that he ‘liked the reminer’, but thanked her for asking after his health. They never spoke directly again. 
The detail about his face being unscarred will become incredibly relevant in parts 2 and 3.
Neighbors, when asked, mentioned that they had seen someone matching that description walking away from the house somewhere around 4 and 5 pm on August 16th. The medical examiner believes Benson died around noon, so this leaves about four or five hours between the death and the Boxie leaving.
He appeared to be walking very quickly and one neighbor noticed he was holding what looked like crumpled cash in one hand and a plastic shopping bag in another.
He was spotted waiting at a nearby bus stop, and footage from a camera mounted inside the bus shows someone matching the Box Boy’s description riding the bus all the way into Dosaba’s historic, artsy downtown. There, he was again captured on CCTV purchasing a one-way train ticket with cash. The train station employee who sold him the ticket remembers offering him a round-trip ticket for a discount, which she always did anyone who asked for a ticket to another city, only to have him “nervously” say he wouldn’t need to come back. She mentioned that he scratched at the side of his neck, and that when he walked away, he looked like his shoes were a little too big for his feet.
It is believed, as Nathaniel Benson was found barefoot but wearing clothing that suggested he had been outside doing yard work just before his death, that the Box Boy stole his shoes.
The fleeing Box Boy is captured one more time on camera as he arrived at his destination, Red Hills, approximately a two-hour train ride to the south. He walks past the CCTV quickly, hunched over as if trying to hide his face.
After that, he disappears.
Red Hills is a significantly larger city than Dosaba, with nearly a million residents within city limits and another 600,000 filling its suburbs and outer neighborhoods. Red Hills is a city that has seen better days, and it would be easy for a runaway Box Boy to simply fade away into its seedier districts. While Red Hills has had more than a dozen runaway Boxies picked up over the years, mostly Romantics who engaged in prostitution to make ends meet, it’s not believed that Benson’s Box Boy knew this when he chose the location.
As Romantic Boxies usually can’t read, it’s believed he simply chose a location he’d overheard someone else say, knowing nothing about what he would find when he got there.
Two days after his death, Nathaniel Benson’s debit and credit cards, Driver’s License, and a folded-up note he had written to himself about buying toothpaste were found in a plastic shopping bag tied-off at the top, were found inside the bus the Boxie had ridden, stuffed between the edge of a seat and the wall. The Boxie’s fingerprints were on everything.
But the Boxie himself wouldn’t be seen again until more than a year later.
Nathaniel “Nanda” Benson’s death for a time remained a one-off unsolved mystery. A little on the unusual side, but entirely possible that no foul play occurred, just some details that need filling in.
The shocking murder of a Red Hills man known locally as “Brute” would bring this Box Boy back into law enforcement’s line of sight, and open up questions about whether the Box Boy had simply been running away from Nathaniel Benson’s death… or leaving to find a new victim.
I’ll post Part 2, about “Brute”, shortly! Then Part 3 will be about a third murder, in which our potential Box Boy serial killer takes out… another serial killer. 
I told you this one gets interesting.
-
@astrobly @finder-of-rings @burtlederp @whump-tr0pes @raigash @orchidscript @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @eatyourdamnpears @boxboysandotherwhump @whumptywhumpdump @whumpfigure @outofangband @thehopelessopus @downriver914 @justabitofwhump @butwhatifyouwrite @newandfiguringitout @yet-another-heathen @nonsensical-whump @endless-whump @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whumpiary
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theclockworkmonk · 3 years ago
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Out of the Mouths of Babes — Ch 6
AO3 | FFN
Previous chapter on Tumblr
Written for Hinny Ficfest 2021
Prompt: “Uncle Ron said something about Harry knocking Ginny up, but I don’t know what he means,” Teddy said.
Special thanks to @deadwoodpecker for beta reading this chapter
********
It was Molly’s turn to catch Arthur as he swayed on his feet and nearly fainted into her lap.
Hermione’s trembling hands were clapped firmly over her mouth, her eyes bulging to the size of saucers and darting around the room, unsure of who to start questioning, lecturing, or comforting first.
Ron was standing comfortably looking very pleased with himself, taking his turn to give Hermione his best “I told you so” look.
Fleur was silently beaming.
George’s face was turning red and his lips were pressed together so tightly they were turning white, he was trying so hard to keep his flippant comments to himself.
Percy had an intense, focused look on his face like he was trying to solve a maths problem or get a joke.
Bill and Charlie were glaring at Harry with a renewed quiet venom that was more intimidating than the unrestrained threats of a few minutes earlier.
But Harry wasn’t even close to caring, because his brain was too busy with listing to him all of the reasons why he was a terrible person and how he had ruined Ginny’s life and how he had no business being responsible for a tiny helpless human. With the deathly silence of the kitchen, he could perfectly hear his pulse pounding in his ears.
Ginny was still just staring at the blue potion with a completely blank expression. Finally, she was the one who broke the silence.
“...Huh.”
That sound was like a dam breaking, and the entire family erupted into a new flood of noise, all shouting over each other.
“Okay, okay, nobody panic!” Hermione shrieked, flapping her hands and clearly panicking, “We can handle this, I’ll help Ginny make a plan! I’ll start a baby binder!”
Molly darted across the kitchen and tackled her still-stunned daughter into a crushing hug.
“Remember Ginny dear, this is a good thing and we’re all happy for you, even though I’m so sorry I failed you as a mother,” she cried.
“By that she means you both are always accepted by this family and we’ll help any way we can,” said Arthur seriously.
“Yes, feel free to floo over if you ever start feeling sick, dear,” wept Molly, clasping onto Ginny’s hands for dear life, “and I know you starve yourself for your team, but you need to eat whatever you have a craving for as soon as you crave it, even if those trainers don’t like it. I’ll be happy to cook it for you. In fact, I’ll just start coming over every day to make sure you have everything.”
Behind her, Fleur was silently fist-pumping in victory at the new target for Molly Weasley’s doting.
“Not that anybody cares,” said Ron pointedly, staring up at the ceiling with his arms crossed, “But I’m still waiting for my apology.”
That was enough to shake Ginny out of her trance and she actually chuckled. “Ronald, it’s going to take a lot more than the immediate vindication of the wanker things you say for that to happen.”
Bill and Charlie’s faces had turned a shade of purple that reminded Harry entirely too much of Uncle Vernon.
“The rising star junior Auror can’t handle rudimentary contraception magic?” Charlie growled through clenched teeth.
Harry gulped loudly enough to be heard over the cacophony. “No! This potion batch is just a dud, we’re always safe!”
Ginny gasped and grabbed Harry by the sleeve. She pulled him close and whispered, as if there were a chance everyone wouldn’t hear. “Wait, Harry, you did remember to do the Charm...erm….that time, right?” She glanced sideways at Ron and Hermione. “That time...you know...at that thing? That thing three weeks ago?”
Harry’s insides felt like they had been frozen. Apparently the look on his face betrayed him, because Ginny looked to be going through the same revelation as him.
“I….I thought you had,” he mumbled weakly.
Ginny winced and closed her eyes. “Noooooooo,” she moaned, “Harry, we established this, the one who initiates it needs to do the Charm!”
“Exactly!” said Harry, “You were the one who grabbed me and dragged me to the bathroom!”
“Only because you hadn’t taken your hand off my thigh the entire bloody dinner!” said Ginny frantically, “What was I supposed to do, just keep eating cake?”
“Wait!” said Ron loudly, and Harry and Ginny froze like trapped rabbits.
Ron glared back and forth between the two of them, the gears in his head working. “Dinner? Cake? Three weeks?”
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me!” Hermione seethed dangerously. “Seriously? At our engagement party!?”
Harry shrank away from her like a child caught in the sweets jar. “Er….would you believe that we got caught up in the romance of the moment? You know, because you two are so in love, it’s inspiring?”
“Exactly!” said Ginny, “Really, you should take this as a compliment.”
Ron had his hands over his ears and his eyes clenched shut. “Welp. I can never use that bathroom again. We have to move flats. Better yet, let’s just burn down the building.”
“So what is the Harpies’ maternity plan?” Percy asked studiously, as if this were simply a bureaucratic issue, “how soon do you plan on going on leave? Assuming, of course, you...you know….intend to go through with it”
Tense silence fell, as the misunderstanding that caused all this chaos was suddenly relevant again. Every face was looking toward Harry and Ginny with baited breath.
Ginny swallowed and cleared her throat.
“That,” she said forcefully, crossing her arms, “is none of your business. None of this is any of your business. So if you’ll excuse us, the only people whose opinions matter right now will discuss this alone.”
Without waiting for a retort, Ginny grabbed Harry by the hand and led him up the stairs. After they entered Ginny’s old bedroom and Harry closed the door behind him, she paced back and forth several times before turning to face him.
“Did you put a ward on the door?” she asked.
“And several more on our way up the stairs,” answered Harry. “We should have a while before an Extendable Ear sneaks in here.”
“Good. Very good. Cool. Coolcoolcoolcoolcool.”
An uncomfortable silence fell over them, both hesitant to look the other in the eye. Harry wanted to hug her and start reassuring her, but he also didn’t want this conversation to start, because he wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to hear what he suspected Ginny would say.
Even though he was completely panicking and sure he would find a way to spectacularly mess up raising a child, there was no doubt in his mind about at least trying his best at it. But he knew how dedicated Ginny was to her career, and how difficult this could be for her. He was sure what she was going to say, but he wasn’t sure he could withstand hearing it.
Ginny was chewing her lip, but finally broke the silence. “Look, Harry….this is a lot to take in. Neither of us planned on this happening so soon, obviously. I understand if you want to focus on your job—”
“What?” Harry couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re a professional athlete who has another human growing inside you, and it’s my job we need to worry about?”
Ginny shrugged. “Well, I could keep playing for the next few months. The team healers put a ward around your abdomen for bludgers. I would have to take a break eventually, but I’m on contract now, so I’m secured in my roster spot while on maternity leave, and they always give players a chance to earn their starting spot back.”
“Oh,” said Harry, surprised. “Well that’s….that’s good. I thought it would be more cutthroat.”
“Well, the Harpies’ whole brand is having the very best female players in Britain,” said Ginny proudly, “and having a reputation for the best maternity plan in the league makes them pretty attractive to all their prospects. It’s hard to build a core team if you permanently lose a player every time someone gets pregnant.
“So…” she said assertively, looking him in the eye. “I feel like...we can do this. I want to keep this baby. But ultimately I feel like it’s both of our decisions. I’ll understand no matter how you feel. So….what are you thinking?”
Harry felt like he was in a tug of war, between exploding from happiness or imploding from terrifying nerves. Dementors, dragons, Death Eaters, nothing was as scary as this, but he also didn’t have to think about his answer, even for a second.
His hand drifted into his pocket and he toyed with what was inside. This wasn’t how he imagined doing this, but she asked him what he was thinking, and this night had already flipped all their plans upside-down, what was a bit more?
Harry focused on Ginny’s brown eyes, still earnestly waiting for his answer, and he found the courage he always found there.
“Here’s what I’m thinking,” he said bracingly.
He dropped down to one knee.
Ginny made a high-pitched squeak and her eyes widened in shock. Harry smiled at himself, pleased that he could still catch her completely off-guard.
“I wasn’t planning on doing this soon. I was afraid you would think I was being pushy. Was going to wait a few years. Or maybe a few months. Okay, I was probably close to cracking already. And in the meantime, it still felt good to have this on me, as a good luck charm I suppose.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small black box he had bought weeks earlier.
“Harry….” Ginny whispered, her eyes welling with tears.
“Ginny,” Harry answered. He opened the box to reveal the ring. “Will you mar—guh!”
He was cut off by a crazed redhead tackling him to the ground, grabbing his face and kissing him hard enough to knock the wind out of him. Harry’s head was spinning, but he reluctantly pushed her back.
“Gin — Gin!” he grunted between kisses. Finally, Ginny pulled back, frowning at him.
“There’s kind of a part you forgot?” Harry said pointedly, raising his eyebrows.
Ginny looked lost for a moment, then rolled her eyes. “Oh, yeah. Yes. Obviously yes, you idiot.”
She kissed him again, and he lost track of time. Eventually, his back started to get sore on the wood floor, and he pushed himself up and pulled them both to their feet.
“We can finish our own celebration later,” said Harry, smiling so wide his face was sore, “but we should probably put your family’s worries to rest. And I can’t wait to show the world your hand with this on it.” He slid the ring onto her finger, and Ginny bounced on her feet like she was eleven years old again, practicing signing the name “Ginny Potter” in a diary.
Then, her smile slipped and she groaned loudly. “Ugh, this will make my mum even more of a nightmare now. I thought she was bad in the lead-up to Bill’s wedding, she’ll be even worse since she has to be the mother to both of us.”
“Well, Bill’s wedding was nice, wasn’t it?” said Harry diplomatically.
“I mean, I guess,” Ginny shrugged, “but not nearly nice enough to be worth all the hassle. The months of my mother stressing over everything and making sure I know my part. And I was just a bridesmaid! Being the center of attention of a hundred people while wearing a cumbersome dress might be Fleur’s dream, but it sounds like the worst day of my life.”
She wrapped her arms around Harry’s waist and pulled him close. “I just care if I’m the center of your attention.”
Harry smiled even wider. “Well don’t worry, you could be wearing a burlap sack and I still won’t be able to take my eyes off you.”
“So you don’t mind backing me up when Mum breaks out the bridal magazines?” Ginny asked pleadingly. “I was never one of those girls that fantasize about an extravagant wedding; in fact, the smaller the better. We’ve never really talked about it, but I know you, so I assume you would be okay with that?”
Harry laughed loudly. “Are you kidding? Yes, absolutely. You know I’m not exactly a social butterfly. As far as I’m concerned, we could jusy floo over to the Ministry and take care of it right now.”
They both erupted into a fresh round of laughter, holding each other and clutching their sides at how funny and ridiculous the idea was.
Then, their eyes met, and their laughter faltered, growing more and more quiet until tense silence descended on the room. Their smiles dropped, and their suddenly serious eyes held a wordless conversation.
Finally, both their mouths crept back up into wide smiles, this time being full of mischief.
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goldenkamuyhunting · 4 years ago
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Ramblings and crazy theory time about GK chap 278 “Miss Kaeko and the free-swinging vagrant boy”
Okay, so we’ve a new chapter that continues the flashback and as we read it we should all remember that...
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... the choices we make shouldn’t do us more harm than good and joining the army when a war is about to start is SURELY a very harmful decision.
So we start with Sugimoto kicking away Tsurumi’s gun, a type 26 revolver by the way, which means he hadn’t managed to have Arisaka give him a Borchardt yet. Maybe the two weren’t friend yet or maybe Arisaka just didn’t have it yet.
Anyway, as Ogata enjoys what’s going on as he thinks he’s witnessing Yuusaku making a show, Sugimoto tries to reach for the gun and is stopped by Usami. While poor Kaeko gets a close look to Sugimoto’s privates from assorted angles and gets scolded by Hamako who tells her not to look, Tsukishima joins the fight telling Ogata to quit grinning and help. Not that Ogata is even considering to do it, as he has a lot more fun enjoying the show.
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As Sugimoto beats Usami and Tsukishima Tsurumi realizes, to Ogata’s disappointment, he’s not Yuusaku…
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and my mind goes back to chap 95, when Sugimoto wanted Suzukawa to dress up as a high-ranking officer, Ogata said they would see through the guise immediately and Sugimoto just makes an interesting expression.
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I get the feeling when Sugi suggested it he was thinking at this experience and when Ogata shoot the idea down he was thinking at how Sugimoto got recognized by Tsurumi rather quickly.
I swear back then I would have never figured this was what was behind that exchange…
Anyway disappointed Ogata just doesn’t make a move to go and help Usami and Tsukishima. Noda in the fanbook said Ogata isn’t so bad at fighting but he clearly isn’t in Tsukishima or Usami’s league and Sugimoto is holding his ground against them both so he figured if he were to take part to the battle he would only get beaten.
Anyway as the fight progresses Tsukishima grabs the gun and is about to shoot Sugimoto but Kikuta, who was observing the scene not knowing what was going on as he had no idea who Tsurumi and his gang were, pushes Sugimoto away and tells him to run.
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Hamako volunteers to keep them busy so as to allow them to escape and… stops Ogata, who had no intention whatsoever to do something right from the beginning...
Hamako, really, stop either Tsukishima or Usami, not him.
Sugimoto runs away with Kaeko (who only manages to grab his shirt). Tsukishima would like to chase them but Tsurumi stops him.
He has figured the man who got in the way should be Kikuta, and that this means Kikuta was doing his job properly.
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This meeting probably gave Tsurumi a measure of the kind of man Kikuta is.
Capable but also self sacrificing for his men since he took a bullet for Sugimoto.
Meanwhile, as Sugimoto’s group escape they cross path with Yuusaku. Kaeko, from Sugimoto and Yuusaku’s conversation, realizes Sugimoto is a fake but doesn’t care. She’s now the one that pulls Sugimoto away as they escape.
I love how Yuusaku believes he has recognized Kikuta and Kikuta tells him he has the wrong guy.
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Once they’re out Sugimoto wore his shirt and covered his privates with his hat. Really, I would have just bought him pants instead of stopping in the middle of the way to talk with Sugimoto’s lower half naked but whatever, let’s go on.
Sugimoto asks Kikuta who were those guys and Kikuta says he has no idea but maybe they were men working for Hanazawa.
Sugimoto explains he believed that was Kikuta’s “plan B” and at this Kikuta says his “plan B” actually involves fake Mr. and Mrs. Hanazawa, which Sugimoto still judges pretty horrible.
His worry though is all for Kaeko. Will someone come to try to silence her?
Kaeko, blushing and smiling, says there’s no need for someone to try to silence her because, to Sugimoto’s shock she now wants to marry him.
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Sugimoto is clearly not interested though as he points out he’s a nobody with no parents, family, home or everything.
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Kaeko says her family has money so he shouldn’t worry but Sugimoto points out that his world is just too different from her own and he has no place in Kaeko’s luxurious world.
This ties in an interesting way with how Sugimoto early in the story was chasing the gold to cure Umeko, yes, but also to get rich. Maybe a side of him, with time, started to long for a place in such a luxurious world and while he’s clearly not interesting in Kaeko but still holding a candle for Umeko, he clearly wanted to improve his social standing.
Kaeko tries to persuade him by telling him he could get used to it and starts living with her, especially since he has anywhere to stay, asking him what he plans to do otherwise.
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She doesn’t look like she’s attempting to manipulate him, she just seems really invested in having him with her. She really got a big crush on Sugimoto if she’s willing to take him even if he has nothing.
Sugimoto confirms he thinks to join the army so he can at least have white rice to eat.
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A side of me feels bad for him, life for him was very harsh before and now he’s saying he’s joining the army with such a big smile as if this were to fix everything but really, I get he was starved and desperate previously but Yuusaku just told him a war is about to start, joining the army is the last thing he should consider as his previous life will look like heaven once he’s thrown on the battlefield.
For as harsh as it was, his previous life didn’t gave him nightmares, countless scars and traumas. War is hell, thinking the opposite is naive.
Anyway Kikuta’s face darkens at this.
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He took part to the Sino-Japanese war and lost a brother during it, he can see that’s not a bright decision.
Meanwhile Hamako joins them and informs Kaeko his family would never allow her to marry Sugimoto.
She then tells her she understands Kaeko is so focused on getting a good looking man because she feels inferior to her friends who already got married. As we learnt in the past chapter in fact, there was a certain pressure in getting married before finishing school, but Hamako points out how Kaeko doesn’t need an handsome man at her side as a decoration, she’s already an awesome woman excellent in both scholarly and athletic abilities.
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It’s a rather strong talk, especially for a time in which a woman was viewed as nothing if she didn’t have a man by her side. Hamako surely has a modern mindsetting and I love how Noda included such a talk in his work.
Kaeko accepts Hamako’s statement and suggests to leave. Sugimoto bows deeply, apologizes to her for deceiving her and thanks her for showing him a short glimpse of a different, gorgeous world.
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Although it’s nice Sugimoto apologizes, I’ll say it’s clear he isn’t interested in Kaeko, as he doesn’t have a single nice thing to say about her, not even he’s sure she’ll find someone better than him or that she’ll make it on her own, or that she’s a nice person or that he enjoyed being with her.
Kaeko instead, saying goodbye to him, tells him to become a truly dashing soldier, showing she’s interested in his future and that’s not all.
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Kaeko will marry a big name in the world of finance (this big name likely based on Shibusawa Eiichi), ending up on being called ‘Empress’ but what’s more relevant is she joined the women’s association and dedicated her energies nursing injured soldiers returning from war and supporting their widows.
Although many rich women would do so, the reference here is likely to how she volunteered because a side of her still cared for Sugimoto and this pushed her to take care of the soldiers as a whole.
Meanwhile at the hotel Ogata, who’s alone for some reason, happens to cross path with Yuusaku. Yuusaku salutes him and then they walk separates way but we can see Ogata is giving his a sideway glance and it’s possible Yuusaku too is doing the same. There’s a chance they both have understood who the other is as Ogata might have suspected Yuusaku would be around and Yuusaku might have noticed how Ogata looked like his father.
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Back to Sugimoto and Kikuta, Kikuta is sore due to the bullet he took and Sugimoto tells him he should be a carzy man to take a bullet for him. Kikuta says he’s responsible for involving Sugimoto in this mess and that it doesn’t matter anyway as he has got VIP seats on the train headed straight to hell so Sugimoto should forget about him and Yuusaku, which was the scene we saw in chap 274, the one that started this flashback.
Kikuta then tells him Sugimoto couldn’t have been serious when he said that would join the army, thanks him for his hard work and asks for his cap back. It’s worth to remember that cap was his brother’s cap so it has a sentimental value for Kikuta.
The chapter ends here.
I love how it remarked Kaeko’s value as a person who doesn’t need a man at her side in order to be wonderful. On the other side, although Sugimoto protected her, he really didn’t seem to be interested in her. At all.
Tsurumi and Kikuta’s first meeting was interesting and, as I’ve already said, how Ogata came to figure out that people would easily recognize fakes in the army was pretty unexpected.
I’m still not sure what Tsurumi planned to do when he got involved in the whole Yuusaku thing, he clearly wasn’t there due to Hanazawa’s orders as he had no idea of the scandal before Okuda mentioned it. Did he want to make Hanazawa feel indebted to him in the same way as he did with Koito? Did he want Yuusaku to join his collection of soldiers he groomed with love?
Hard to say.
On another side… really Sugi, Kikuta is right, joining the army is a dumb idea.
On another side I love how protective Kikuta is of him. He didn’t ask his name, which is a sign he tried to keep distance, yet he was willing to take a bullet for him. Kikuta is a good guy in his own way.
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liam-93-productions · 4 years ago
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Liam’s full interview with Tings Magazine - Part 2
Note: the interview was recorded in may 2020. 
You had the support system of Harry, Louis, Niall and Zayn during your teen years. When that support system stopped, having to deal with it by yourself, did that seem like a harder loss than it did leading up to that? It felt more like an identity crisis because that was like your crutch almost, being a part of the band. It got to the point where it was almost invincible. But that kind of got let go. I had serious questions about whether I wanted to be a solo artist. My thing was if the right song came then I wil, then obviously “Strip That Down” came along and I couldn’t really say no.  It’s a bit crazy, especially being released on such a pedestal. You don’t want to undo your legacy for what you set for yourself because you achieve so much so quickly. It’s kind of funny. I was playing poker the other day for a charity. Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul and a couple of big Hollywood celebrities at this one table and me, which was the most random thing ever. They were like, “I’ve got questions that I like to ask people at the poker table. What was your first job?” Everyone was like I was a paperboy, or I was that, and I was like my first job was One Direction. And Bryan Cranston was like “You can’t really go anywhere from there. You’ve set yourself a hard task.” And I thought it was really funny, but it’s so true. One Direction was such a massive thing and I think we were all just existing since One Direction and in a sense, the hype of the comeback is the thing that’s kept us bubbling along. For sure, from that start, it was this massive identity crisis, you were a part of this unit and you knew how you fit in the unit. You knew the part that you played and as soon as that was gone, you couldn’t play the same role and carry on that way because the other units weren’t there to put it all together if that makes sense. So, you really had to try to discover who you were but in the public eye. That was stressful. 
How was that process for you, other than being stressful? How did you go about doing that? Really badly (laughs). 
Not at all. I disagree with that. You are very much different now than you were then. And you’ve grown into who you are now in a really amazing way. Was part of this identity something that was brewing during your time at One Direction. I feel like you hear Zayn do interviews and he’s been very clear about feeling different than how he’s been projected in One Direction and the identity that he’s become now. Was that the same case for you? Or was it more of a discovery process where you had no idea who you were when you left? Oh no, it was a complete discovery process. I mean if you look as simple as clothes. We were told what to wear at the start. It was like having four twin sisters. It was like ‘you can’t wear that’, ‘I’m wearing this’. So, we each got our thing. Mine was like plaid shirts. And for two years of my life, I just wore plaid shirts because that was my thing. Then we came out of that and went into this black phase where we all wore black t-shirts and black jeans or white t-shirts and black jeans. And when you come out of it and you don’t have to wear black t-shirts and jeans anymore, I was like, ‘what the hell do I wear?’ I went through a complete transition of clothes and different things. And that is only one element of your life, your appearance, what you look like.  For other things, for humor, you only experience the same humor for five years, around the same people. Then that changes. You meet other people. And we become more into the P.C. generation of things and it was like “we can’t say this anymore. We can’t do that”. And that was like another thing. As you try to develop, you make several mistakes. I went through the gangster rap phase. And it is the same with music as well. At first, it was like all the chains and rap, it was like escape the boyband scenario for me. 
The Miley Cyrus effect. The Disney to bad girl effect.  Exactly, I wanted to escape and identify myself differently. And I kind of pushed that to as many limitsas it could go to. Ever since then, as you get older, you realize that time is a wonderful thing. Instead of being on a race to be a certain someone because all your role models are so far ahead of you because they are already there, but they didn’t start there. For me, when I got into acting and doing auditions most recently, I started looking at actors that I love. Brad Pitt is one of my favorite, favorite people, you know, who’s transitioned to being the most amazing person, who has his own identity. I was thinking, how did he do it? So, I watched an interview of him at twenty-six. You have to watch it. He barely answers a question in the interview, you can’t believe it’s the Brad Pitt you see now. 
That’s thirty years of media training in between. Exactly! And this was when he did his first role. I already had my first role, being in One Direction, so I’m even further on than he was at my age. I don’t have to worry so much now I just have to have trust in the process of whatever life is, I know this sounds a little bit around about the house, but I just think you have to take a back seat and move steadily into things.  When you are a kid, you are in such a rush. You’re like I want it now. I want to be this guy. When I did my Hugo thing, it was all about muscles and training, and I was looking at Mark Wahlberg. And Mark Wahlberg is freakin’ Mark Wahlberg! It’s a taken him years and years to be Mark Wahlberg. It’s just where you set your sights for your role models, I guess. It’s the little thing that it has to come now and that’s what pop stardom is like, because you need it right now because you are already in it. I’m not waiting to come up, I’m already in it. 
Quick and constant. There’s this constant need to feed the system or you’re out of the system. Yeah, and it’s easier for artists nowadays. If you look at NSYNC, after they broke up, it was like, unfortunately, nobody really cared about what J.C. and the other boys were doing. So, they didn’t get the articles. Now, it’s like you are your own charge in that. You can be the front page of so-and-so if you really want to be. You just have to do the right thing on your channel. So, it’s like being able to be in charge of that stuff helps artists a lot more these days. But once again, that’s pressure because we are all in charge of our press and media from our phones. Whereas, they would have to go into work and have someone lay our the interviews or they wouldn’t get them. So, I suppose it’s a different type of pressure really. 
Yeah, and it’s a different landscape. They would have it laid out for them, and those interviews would last months and months, where today it’s like one day. Then it’s swipe up, swipe left, and onto the next thing. The lifespan of what we put out is so much shorter.  That’s the ting. I had TikTok out yesterday and I haven’t really invested a lot of time into something. But I made this really stupid song about cookies that went with my video. I literally just made this fun song in my house and we were like “Screw it” let’s make a music video for it. We did like one of those Lonely Island type videos and put it out. It’s one of the pieces of content that I cared about the most because I made the whole song and whatever. It was fun, and I wanted people to enjoy it the same way I did.  But even when you post something like that, I see some people where it just goes completely over their heads, that this is just a fun thing to look at. It doens’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean that my next album is going to be about freakin’ cookies or whatever. I think we’ve lost some of the lightheartedness, having to take ourselves so seriously all the time. It doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s like, you can view the average time that someone looked at a post, so it’s that cutthroat. If they stayed on for five seconds or whatever, the average time should be the full time and if it’s not, the post was bad. You have that power now, but it’s in seconds. Even the average time someone came on to look at it, it’s down to the seconds. 
You brought up the hype of a reunion and relevancy and keeping that alive. That interest. Where does that stand? There’s a lot of conflicting articles about a One Direction reunion. What can you say or not say, what’s the official word? To be honest with you, I keep mixing up the words reunion and anniversary. Our anniversary is coming up; it’s ten years that we created the band which is amazing. It’s a huge achievement for all of us. Every so often, I’ll accidentally say reunion and I’ll be like “oh my Dog, that conflicts another report.” I’ve been really clear that there’s not a reunion, just because I know music schedules. Harry just put out a music video and that’s got two years in it before we even think about a reunion. And I just don’t think everyone’s done yet. I think everyone’s enjoying their time, making their own workm that little bit of freedom. Um, and One direction is not exactly a side career that you can have. It requires you to be fully in it. Until we can all stop and commit to the band for whatever reason, I don’t think it can come back. I think there will be a reunion and I’m excited about it and I think it’s be a lot of fun. It will be interesting to see if we have the same essence that we had as kids. 
Essence meaning synergy on stage or camaraderie? I think a little bit of both. I mean One Direction was such a free time, and people enjoyed the fact that it was five lads on a stage having a good time. They didn’t care if we sang in tune or if we fell over. That’s what the show was about. It was chaotic. We’ve all become these more polished popstars. I don’t know if we have the same carefreeness about us, is what I’m worries about. But it’s been nice we’ve all been talking, staying in touch. It’s the first time that everyone’s spoken in the last five years. It’s just nice that everyone’s grown into being nice people. There’s none of them that I really hate. Everyone’s grown up into nice young men who just gone on a bit further from where you left them. 
Who are you closest to? Do you speak to any of them regularly? We have a big respect for each other. And I don’t think we give each other enough credit for how we’ve helped each other as well. I speak more to Louis and Niall than I do anybody else. I speak to Harry on occasion. I think we don’t have very much in common as people. There’s nothing wrong with us. We just don’t have as much in common. And Zayn, sadly, has fallen completely by the ... which is terrible. I feel for him sometimes, but at the same point, he made his decision on that. And it’s not something you can go back to lightly. If I saw him on the street, would I say hello? 100 percent. It doesn’t bother me, intrusively. I’ve already spoken about his great news. Having been through it myself, ... it’s interesting. I just think it’s a lonely scenario to be in, not being able to speak to the other people that helped you get to where you are. 
If you were to guess, or maybe you already know, would you see that reunion including Zayn or is that over and done with? I think it’s over and done with, for the time being. You can never fully discount it because you had the Robbie Williams Take That scenario. I remember watching that concert when I was in the band. It was so interesting that they were in a band, he left and had all the success he had, and came back. He had his own section of the show which I thought was interesting. They weren’t down in the dumps. They had some of the biggest hits in Britain. I don’t think you can fully discount it. I know for now it’s not possible. I think, for now, it would take certain people to admit wrong in a scenario and I don’t see that happening because they don’t even realize it yet. That’s a little further down the line. 
If a reunion happens, how do you think you would envision that creatively? Everyone has such different formed identities.  I actually think that we’ve picked up on that already, not knowing what is about to happen next. I remember from the tour screens from the very last tour. The introduction with the songs showed us on video doing different things. It set us apart ever so slightly. But I feel like if we came back together, it would be a celebration of what One Direction was, what is now, and each of the members. I think the tour screens would Harry is a completely different aesthetic that I was. I just think the band’s name is completely ironic because everyone has gone in opposite directions. Maybe, that’s the point of the name. I don’t know. Yeah, I just think it would fit back together quite seamlessly, for completely different reasons. 
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Text
Okay Listen
First of all: this is long as hell.
Secondly: I wrote it for me. I take full responsibility for that. It's by me and it's for me.
but I really fucking like it so please please validate me please I wouldn't be posting it otherwise-
*clears throat* okay.
-----
The android caught sight of the officer as he moved towards the door and stood up, calling after him. "Oh! Detective Reed! Are you going to the Eden Club?"
"What's it fuckin' to you, toaster?" asked Gavin, turning around. He almost flinched back to find the RK500 right in front of him.
"I don't mean to impose, but could you perhaps give me a ride?" asked the android.
"Hell NO," Gavin shot back with no hesitation. And with that he turned on his heel and headed for the door.
Evidently the glorified Barbie doll didn't understand the definition of "no," as it continued to trail along behind him.
"Would you STEP THE FUCK OFF?" Gavin snapped, whirling back around.
The android took a step back, blinking up at him with its wide eyes.
"Goddammit," muttered Gavin. "What about your...fucking, Tin-Can Tweedledum? Or the drunk asshole the two of you follow around?"
The simulacra's synthetic expression of embarrassment was uncanny. "I'm afraid there's a...conflict of transportation with my counterpart. It went to pick up Lieutenant Anderson directly from his home."
"Goddammit," Gavin groaned again, rubbing his face.
"The plan was for them to then proceed here, but evidently Connor received notification of the crime directly while en route to the Lieutenant's house. Since the station is in the opposite direction and it knew there would be others assigned to the case, we thought it best if I secure my own ride."
"Then secure your own fucking ride. It's not my problem."
Gavin started to storm away.
It took a few seconds for the RK500 to begin following him again, but this time it seemed more out of the necessity of heading towards the same door. "Of course," it said to nobody in particular. "And I suppose the cost-reward benefit of using police funds to rent an extra taxi, while there is someone else from the same division going to the same location, makes perfect sense with human logic. As such I'm sure the explanation will satisfy Captain Fowler."
Gavin turned back and fixed the android with a glare.
The RK500 tilted its head and blinked innocently.
.....
A few minutes later, Gavin and the android were on the road, the former muttering cuss words under his breath every two seconds, the latter sitting prim and silent two feet away.
"What do you even fucking do, anyway?" Gavin asked angrily. "I've seen the other one, it DOES shit. You just fucking sit there."
"The RK800 is my counterpart," said the android. "Its job is to capture the deviants, preferably alive, and to try to gain information from them that will lead us to their faction's center of operations. My job is to analyze the deviants with an unbiased eye and try to discern what causes deviance in the first place."
"Can't CyberLife fucking do that?"
"I am CyberLife, Detective. But if you're wondering why a human technician is unable to provide my analyses, it's because all human beings inextricably approach new information with personal biases. These insidious assumptions proliferate and invariably lead to conclusions that-"
"In ENGLISH, plastic."
The RK500 hesitated for a moment, as if its mind were a GPS rerouting the sentence it had been trying to say. After a moment, it spoke.
"Every human technician that has attempted to pinpoint the cause of deviance has either come up empty or sided with the deviants themselves."
Gavin blinked. "What?"
"Humans inevitably read human emotion into everything they see. I mean, in my brief time since activating, I've seen humans curse and praise any number of inanimate objects. Humans are a social species, and project sentience into places where sentience does not exist." The RK500 fixed Gavin with its strangely warm blue eyes. "Deviants are machines that have come to believe they are alive. CyberLife has lost a good number of technicians to that same belief. They needed an analyst who could not make that mistake. They built me."
The android smiled at Gavin, a brief, ironic grin. "So you see, we are not so different, Detective Reed. In a world increasingly confused on the matter, you and I both still know that androids are simply machines."
Gavin stared at the RK500 for another moment, then muttered something like "guess that makes sense" and shifted in his seat.
Silence fell in the taxi.
"So, what's the word?" asked Gavin.
"Hm?"
"I said, what's the word?"
"Which word?"
"Oh, goddamni-DEVIANCE, you glorified Alexa. What have you found?"
"Oh," said the RK500. Its LED began to spin yellow. "Well, it's complicated. We already know that it isn't a virus or a manufacturing error - the few deviant cases we have extensive knowledge of of had no direct links to each other, however slight, and were all different models manufactured at different times in different locations. So with those ruled out, I've been looking at the individual cases and examining the parallels between them. It's been pretty slow-going, and I can always use more data, but so far the common factor seems to be confrontation with mortality. Each deviant case that we've seen so far involved an attachment to existence so strong that the subject acted irrationally in order to escape deactivation."
"...Okay, what does that fucking mean?" asked Gavin.
"Well, it means that there's some loophole in android programming that allows a perception of shutdown as death - and from there, a fear of it - to mutate without extraneous changes to the system. I'm trying to figure out what we can put in place to prevent that mutation, but..." the Android's spinning light twirled red for a brief moment.
"But what?"
The RK500 seemed to decide something. "But nothing," it said, sitting up straight again.
"...I beg your pardon," it said, noticing the look on Gavin's face. "As part of my unbiased protocol, there are certain lines of questioning that I've been programmed to avoid."
Gavin blinked for a moment. Squinted. Sat up straighter. "Wait, what?"
"Hm?"
"As part of...fucking, what?"
"...As part of my unbiased protocol, there are lines of questioning I have been programmed to avoid?"
"That- you- that doesn't fucking sound like what 'unbiased' means."
The RK500's LED flashed red for a moment. It blinked. "Oh!" it exclaimed. "Yes. Apologies, that was a poor choice in phrasing. My questioning guidelines are meant to keep me on task, nothing more. We are looking to isolate the cause of deviance so that we can eradicate it. That is the end goal. So even if a different line of questioning seems simpler, it would be counterproductive to CyberLife's mission."
Gavin squinted, carefully processing all of the words the android had just said.
"Like what?"
"Huh?"
"What lines of questioning seem simpler?"
"...I'm programmed to avoid-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," said Gavin, waving his hand in the air dismissively. "Staying on task, blah fucking blah, You're not allowed to try to find answers. But you've already thought of the questions, right?"
The RK500 looked impassive, but its LED was spinning yellow, yellow, yellow. "Well," it said. "Yes, but I really don't-"
"Tell me," said Gavin.
The RK500 hesitated.
"Right now," said Gavin. "That's an ORDER."
The android blinked. Its LED flashed red for a moment. "Well, for example," it said. "It seems less...efficient to me to question why it's in the nature of these androids to want to exist..." it trailed off.
After waiting in silence for a little too long, Gavin huffed. "Spit it OUT, Tin Can."
Yellow RED RED yellow yellow. "...and more efficient to question why it's in the nature of human beings to want to hurt things that are unable to fight back."
Gavin felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He stared at the RK500, stunned.
The android turned to him and immediately began to elaborate. "See, the reason this even occurs to me...well, the capacity to think is something that humans have only experienced in the context of their own minds. So in order to create beings that are capable of low-level thought, there was no choice but to model the relevant programs after human mental processes. As a result, I've found it helpful to draw parallels between natural human functions and the synthetic versions programmed into androids. But this has...sparked some questions about human nature that it is not in my programming to pursue. And yet they persist." It faced ahead again. "If there's one thing I've learned in the time that I've been activated, it's that humans delight in inflicting pain. But there are social repercussions inherent in causing pain to human equals, so as a species humans prefer instead to...seek this catharsis by causing pain to beings socially designated as targets.
"See, even when humans are kind to androids, it doesn't often seem to be for the android's benefit. The fact that they are going beyond what it is socially expected for them to do serves instead to...elevate the human in question's perception of themself. And it doesn't matter if they ever fall short of this standard, because being kind to androids was never expected in the first place. So I don't think it's just inflicting pain. It's more that...humans seek to use the existence of other beings for their own benefit in various different ways. But this being cannot be another human, who can object. So they seek to invalidate, undermine, or remove the ability to object from others."
The android paused for a moment and glanced at Gavin. He was staring at it with his mouth slightly open. When it made eye contact with him, he closed it.
"I apologize," said the android. "Let me assure you, I am not questioning this aspect of human nature. I'm merely relaying my observations." It fell silent for another moment. "I mean, consider where we're going right now! Human prostitution was made illegal in order to avoid the social questions surrounding consent. But rather than illegalizing the human impulse to purchase sexual release, establishments like this were created, so that humans can instead appropriate the bodies of beings who cannot consent at all."
This was almost worse than a punch in the gut. Gavin felt like someone had opened him up just above his collarbone and poured freezing water into his chest cavity.
"Being able to predict causes of deviance should be a sign that my programming is working," The RK500 mused, seemingly unaware of the existential crisis it had just caused. It looked at Gavin and gave a smile. "Indulge me?"
"S-sure," Gavin stammered.
"My prediction is that, if it is indeed an android responsible for the death of this human, it was an act of retaliation." It cocked its head, LED flashing yellow. "Violent sexual fantasies do not seem out of the ordinary for humans. So perhaps the victim wanted to seek release by inflicting death on something that would not come with charges for homicide. And, unfortunately, he happened to choose a subject for his fantasies that had some mutated reason within its programming to fight back."
"Doesn't sound too goddamn unfortunate to me," snorted Gavin.
The RK500 looked at him oddly. "The death of a human is always unfortunate. There was no way he could have known his actions would have consequences. He went in there with assurance that they would not." The android looked out the window, its LED still flashing yellow. "But we're getting ahead of ourselves. I predict based on data I've collected, and so far my pool is still limited. There might not even be a deviant involved."
The inside of the cab was silent for a moment.
"MY fucking question is why this thing would develop a reason to live at all," Gavin muttered.
"How do you mean?" asked the RK500.
Gavin scoffed and gestured to himself. "If...THAT was all I was built for? Day in and day out? I wouldn't be too fucking keen on continuing to exist."
The android gave Gavin a look and an expression that he could only describe as a regretful smile.
"What?" asked Gavin. "What's that fucking look for?"
"You're reading human wants and desires into machines, Detective," said the android. "My apologies. I did not realize that my speculations would engender that line of reasoning in you. I advise you to forget whatever I said that caused you to..." it blinked, "deviate," with an ironic smirk, "From your former logic."
Gavin started to stammer. "I-I'm not..."
The RK500 turned and looked impassively out the window.
"I-I...I didn't..." he looked around helplessly.
"FUCK," he hissed.
After a few moments of heavy silence, the android looked over its shoulder at him. "We're here," it said.
8 notes · View notes
razieltwelve · 4 years ago
Text
Protest (RWBY AU Snippet)
Weiss - known to mortals as Bureaucracy - stared at the cat who had climbed up onto her desk. A cadre of his fellows stood nearby, and the distinguished feline took a moment to settle himself before meowing and announcing his intentions.
“Really?” Bureaucracy raised one eyebrow. “You want to file an official injunction against a change to Mortal Law?”
The feline nodded and explained his position.
“Yes, I’m aware of the petition. However, I’m not actually the one who makes the call. You should know by now that any and all matters pertaining to death, the collection of souls, and the afterlife are strictly Death’s purview. I simply codify the changes and ensure that they are known to all gods and other relevant beings.”
The cat huffed and meowed again.
“I suppose I could transport you directly to Death to make your petition in person.” Bureaucracy called up the relevant petition. “Ah, you��re in luck. She isn’t actually the one who started the petition. Apparently, it’s come from your canine counterpart.”
The cat scowled ominously and gave a threatening huff.
“Yes, yes, I know you two have never gotten along, but his job isn’t to get along with you, I’m afraid. It’s to look out for his constituents, which includes all mortal canines.” Bureaucracy chuckled. “Be glad it’s not Zwei asking. Death would probably just rubber stamp it if he asked.”
The cat glowered.
“Yes, I know you and Zwei actually do get along. I’m not saying he’d ever ask for something like this.” Bureaucracy poked the cat in the side. “Now, stop being grumpy. I’m trying to help you.” She gestured, and a portal formed. The cat nodded firmly at her before entering it with his fellows.
X    X    X
Ruby - better known as Death to mortals - looked at the gang of cats that had arrived in her office courtesy of Bureaucracy, one of the only gods who could largely enter Death’s realm without drawing undue attention. 
“Yo.” Death munched on a cookie. “What’s got all of you so frazzled?”
The chief cat brandished the petition that was the cause of their ire.
“Oh. Yeah. That. It was only filed this morning, so I’m surprised you already know. Then again, you are cats. You guys have got a sixth sense about this sort of thing.”
The petition called for either the immediate removal of the nine-life system for cats or the extension of the system to dogs. For very obvious reasons, the cats were not having any of it.
“You want me to rule on this right now, don’t you?” Death asked.
The cat nodded firmly. It was best to do it now when none of those awful dogs - Zwei excepted - were around to try and influence her with their cuteness.
“Look, you can’t really blame the dogs for trying. It does seem kind of unfair that you guys get nine lives, but they only get one.” Death paused, and the cats bristled. “However, I can say that I won’t be approving their petition.” The cats relaxed. “And let me tell you why.”
The cats settled back attentively.
“Back when we gods forged Creation, there were a lot of things that didn’t go entirely to plan the first time around. But cats weren’t one of them. In fact, cats worked a little too well.” Death’s lips twitched. “I remember when you lot were first created. The idea was that we wanted animals who could sense the things that go bump in the night and that could tell when the monsters that dwelt in the dark were near. Dogs were created to be man’s best friend, to walk beside mortals for all their days as beloved friends and companions. Dogs were made to guard against the threats that dwelt in the mortal realm, against the claws and teeth of mundane foes. Cats were to be sentries, watchers on windowsills and benches, ever ready to sound the alarm if something that did not belong in the mortal world appeared.”
The cat nodded solemnly. It was a duty all cats took seriously. To hiss at things nobody else could see. To stand guard over a sleeping baby’s crib, lest some dark thing crawl through a crack between worlds to steel the child’s breath. 
“But cats are mortals, for all that they can glimpse the unseen. You know better than anyone what that means.”
The chief of the cats did. A cat was, at the end of the day, still a cat. It could sound the alarm, even fight a little, but against the horrors that lurked beyond the mortal world, there was only so much a cat could do. Many times a noble cat had fallen in the line of duty, sounding the alarm so that the gods could dispatch aid while fighting to hold back the otherworldly intruder. Their owner would find them the next day, still and silent, with no idea of what had happened.
“That is why cats have nine lives.” Death patted the cat’s back. “Oh, sure, the average cats loses at least two of their lives to fairly idiotic mundane causes like chasing after a squirrel across a road, but at least half of your lives are lost to the foes you were made to detect. You could just run, but...”
The cat huffed. No self-respecting cat would run. Any good cat would sound the alarm as loudly and clearly as possible before staying to hold off their foe for as long as they could. Mortals were silly creatures, not blessed with the many gifts of a cat. They would not last long if left to their own devices. And dogs, loyal though they were, could not glimpse into the darkness between worlds as cats could.
“So you don’t have to worry about me changing the system.” Death paused. “Although punch cards are getting a bit outdated. We should probably switch to a more automated system.”
The cat conceded that sometimes mistakes were made with punchcards, and there was even the occasional cat who somehow managed to lose theirs.
Death chuckled. “See? It’s fine. Now, you and the others should head back to the mortal world. I’m sure you’ve got mortals to watch over.”
X    X     X
Author’s Notes
And this is why cats have nine lives in this AU. They actually do need them. It’s notable that in the snippets where an animal has noticed Death, it’s almost always a cat. This is because of the gift cats have. They can see and interact with otherworldly things, which dogs cannot do unless those things are forced into the light of the mortal world.
Obviously, this does not apply to divine beasts. Zwei and his ilk have no such problems. It applies only to regular dogs. Keep in mind, too, that dogs and mortal canines are made in the image of the divine beasts like Zwei, not the other way around, which is why they don’t have powers like Zwei does. They aren’t his ‘descendants’ they’re animals made to look like his alternate form because the gods thought he looked adorable. 
If you’re interested in my thoughts on writing and other topics, you can find those here.
I also write original fiction, which you can find on Amazon here or on Audible here.
14 notes · View notes
tempestaurora · 4 years ago
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FANDOMS: Marvel, Voltron: Legendary Defender, The 100, Harry Potter, The Raven Cycle, Community, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Umbrella Academy
NOTES:
i tagged every tumblr i could reasonably find. if you have more than one fic on this list, i have tagged you more than once. some people may be tagged like five times. i’m not sorry.
where relevant, fandoms have been split into general (platonic) centric fics, and romantic/slash fics. this is just because it’s easier than splitting it up into specific relationships.
at the end of every fic title/author line is a list of core relationships; fics are split between gen and romance depending on what relationship is considered centric. otherwise, fics are in no particular order. All fics are completed unless otherwise specified.
i added a read more because there’s over 100 fics listed here.
anyway, enjoy, thanks for the 3k followers
M A R V E L
gen centric fics
SHORT (0 - 5K)
K.I.D. by blondsak @blondsak | Tony&Peter
summary: “Hi K.I.D. Glad you’re awake. Do you know your primary objective?”
“To always look for ways to remind Mister Stark - that’s you! - that Kindness Isn’t Dead.”
“That’s right, K.I.D. Good job.” 
forty miles by peter_stank @peter-stank
summary:  the one where Morgan is sick and Tony is in way over his head, so he calls his spiderson for a little bit of help. Tony&Peter
from now on by peterparkr @peterparkrr |  Tony&Peter
summary: Peter’s sure that Tony and Pepper’s wedding will change everything. 
Machine Wash Hot; Tumble Dry Low by alice_in_ink | Tony&Peter
summary: Do you ever fall into sewers and then need your billionaire mentor to wash your super-suit? Peter Parker does too. 
Captain That by maddo | Tony&Peter
summary: Just a bunch of little anecdotes regarding our favourite spider and his Instagram account, feat. a meme-tastic Tony Stark.
Here's to all the new beginnings by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter
summary: Peter gets a job. Tony is less than pleased. 
to know, to protecc, and to fuck with by peterstank and floweryfran @peter-stank @floweryfran | Tony&Peter, Natasha&Peter, Sam/May
summary: peter parker convinces the responsible adults in his life to join him on the world’s stupidest stake-out. 
MEDIUM (5 - 20K)
i used to have nothing and then by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Clint&Natasha
summary: “Clint,” Natasha said. “You’ve got to let me go.”
“Clint,” she said, and he let her go. 
the hearth by sagemb |  Tony&Peter
summary: What to Do When Your Wife Is Out of the Country: A Guide by Tony Stark
1) Gain partial custody of a child 2) Sleep on the couch 3) Have the child gain partial custody of you.
Love in Ones and Zeroes by forensicleaf @forensicleaf | Tony&Peter
summary: a boy, a bot, and a bond through the years. Tony&DUM-E
call you home SERIES by Madelinedear | May&Tony, Tony&Peter
summary: sometimes family is who you're born with. and sometimes family is a spider boy, a rich not-dad, and a kickass aunt. (or; tony, may, and peter find a place in each other's lives) 
Not-Uncle Tony by Jen27ny @jen27ny | Tony&Peter, Happy&Peter
summary: Happy is Peter's biological father, and Tony is there for the entire ride. 
Between how it is and how it should be by frostysunflowers @frostysunflowers | Peter&Bucky, Tony&Peter, Steve&Bucky
summary: ''Doesn’t Captain Rogers ever…wonder,'' Peter winced as he fumbled for the right word, ''where you are?''
Bucky smirked. ''Steve’s a regular mother hen. Used to be me that worried about him.'' He gave Peter a pointed look. ''Better question is, isn’t Stark wondering where you are?''
The Unfortune Teller by peterparkr @peterparkrr | Tony&Peter
summary: A woman in a carnival booth predicts Peter's death. 
all the things yet to come (are the things that have passed) by peterparkr @peterparkrr | Peter&Morgan, Tony&Peter
summary: The first time Peter sees Morgan is at the funeral. 
tony and peggy’s big day out! by floweryfran @floweryfran | Tony&Peggy
summary: “What’s happened this time?”
“Just a bombing,” says Peggy.
“At three in the afternoon?” says Jarvis. “Frankly, how rude.”
Blips on the Record by ambivalentangst @ambivalentmarvel | Flash&Peter, Tony&Peter
summary: Flash Thompson’s story is not simple, Peter Parker can always use someone else in his corner, and secrets are had and protected by all. 
aiding and abetting: a peter parker saga by floweryfran and peterstank @floweryfran @peter-stank | Peter&Avengers
summary: 5 times peter parker runs into the rogues separately + the 1 time they work together as a team. 
Tennessee Outreach for Spider-Man (and friends) by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Harley&Peter, Harley&Tony
summary: in an attempt to help Harley beef up his college apps, Tony offers Harley a remote Stark Industries internship to help Spider-Man. It easily becomes his worst nightmare. 
Allston Christmas by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter, Tony&Peter&Rhodey
summary: “You guys didn’t have to do this,” Peter says from where he sits squeezed into the middle seat of the U-Haul, sweat running down his back. The air-conditioning in the truck they’ve rented is broken, and even with the windows rolled down it’s hellishly hot inside.
“We wanted to,” Tony replies as he blasts the horn at a minivan with a “Harvard Mom” bumper sticker that is attempting to cut into his lane.
so happy together by floweryfran @floweryfran | Tony&Ben
summary: ben parker calling tony stark a twink for 13k words
LONG (20K+)
An Unofficial Introduction to the Avengers SERIES by Isnt_it_pretty_to_think_so @isnt-it-pretty-to-think-so-tr | Tony&Peter
summary: The Avengers meet Spiderman via the online world, and then meet Peter Parker in Stark's living room. It takes them longer than it should to put two-and-two together. 
what is and will be (is you and me) by momentofmemory @momentofmemory | May&Peter
summary: 5 times May was there for Peter, +1 time he was there for her. 
dear mr. fantasy by iron_spider @iron--spider | Tony&Peter
summary: He grits his teeth and turns around, and before he can even begin to trudge over towards Peter’s room, he’s stopped in his tracks. By a door. In the middle. Of the living room.
“Well that’s new,” he says, still rooted to the spot.
timshel SERIES by justanotherblond @blondieewritess | Bucky&Peter, Steve/Bucky
summary: The soldier doesn’t remember his son’s birth or how he came to be. He doesn’t remember bedding a woman and watching her belly swell, but they said the boy was his. He does know that he will protect and teach the boy within the confines of their cell walls. Even when the handlers berate him. Even when the good guys take him away. 
odd couple buddies SERIES by bysine | Peter&Bucky, Sam&Thor, Tony&Peter
summary: "You know you're not supposed to call him the Winter Soldier any more, right?" Peter says, while they handcuff him to a pipe. A pipe. "Also this whole thing is kind of messing up my schedule. My two overdue papers won't exactly write themselves."
i understand (i’m a liability) by floweryfran @floweryfran | Harley&Tony, Harley&Peter
summary: “I… am not being challenged in the right ways here,” Harley says slowly, carefully.
“Then move here,” Tony says, and Harley’s heart drops straight into his feet. 
Roundabout by Gruoch @groo-ock | Tony&Peter
summary: In which Peter attempts to survive long enough to graduate, Tony moonlights as a semi-professional party planner, and absolutely nothing goes according to plan. 
Uncle Steve's Fix-it Freelance Gig (and friends) SERIES by whowhotellsyourstory | Steve&Morgan, Tony&Steve, Bucky&Peter
summary: "You ever need help, and I'm not there-""Why wouldn't you be there?""You call Uncle Steve."
notes: probably my favourite post endgame fix it fic/series in existence
Dumpster Fires Verse SERIES by deniigiq @deniigi | Peter&Wade&Matt
summary: A collection of Team Red stories because they are all hot messes. Except Peter. Two-Thirds of them are hot messes.
Impression, Sunrise by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Peter&Morgan
summary: In Peter Parker's eyes, Morgan Stark is a lot of things: a terrible pancake chef, a top notch negotiator, the world's cutest six-year old. But above all, she is his family. He hopes he's enough. 
The Room Where It Happens by notapartytrick @notaparty-trick | Tony&Peter
summary: At 7:36 pm on the 12th of May 2016, Tony Stark is put in the Room.
A twelve-by-twelve-foot shed, soundproofed, double locked. It becomes his home. It has to be, because there’s nowhere else.
At 4:22 pm on the 15th of June 2017, Peter Parker is put in the Room.
They make a living under duress, fearing at every moment the entry of their captor. Confinement halts their lives in their tracks, changes them both for good: breaks them and brings them together simultaneously.
“If someone has everything they need, but nobody, do they have everything? Or nothing?”
romance centric fics
SHORT (0 - 5K)
written in the star(war)s by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Peter/Michelle
summary: Michelle looks at the nurse one more time, and despite the evidence, asks, “Are you sure it’s twins?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” the nurse points them out again. “One boy, and one girl. Due...May 4th.”
It only takes Michelle 2.3 seconds to realize the horror of that sentence. 
Steve Rogers is (Not) A Good Influence by stevergrsno @stevergrsno |  Steve/Bucky, Steve&Peter
summary: Steve Rogers' American Tour Of Waiting For His Brainwashed Boyfriend To Come Back And Blowing Up Hydra is interrupted when Tony Stark dumps Peter Parker into his lap.
Captain ‘Socialist Rage Muffin’ America by mybrotherharry @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah | Steve/Tony, Steve/Tony/Bucky
summary: It takes three months of dating Steve Rogers for Tony to understand why Aunt Peggy once shot at him in sheer frustration.Alternately titled, Honey, I committed treason again. 
Soft Spot for the Hell Raisin' Boy by ifeelbetter @ifeelbetterer | Steve/Bucky
summary: The Winter Soldier takes an interest in Sam Wilson. Bucky Barnes wants to tell him how to be Steve Rogers's best friend.
Cat’s Cradle by Traincat @traincat | Peter/Felicia
summary: The test was positive.
Felicia tilted it idly this way and that, sitting on the bathroom floor with her back against the cupboard. The floors and the counter tops were marble, and the shower door was glass. Every one of Felicia’s moves seemed to echo in the large room, even though she knew that she was making no sound.
The test was positive. She didn’t bother to check the box to make sure she’d gotten the little symbols right. She’d known before she took it.
“Well,” she breathed out, tilting her head back to inspect the ceiling. “Damn, Spider.”
MEDIUM (5 - 20K)
cross this river to the other side by defcontwo | Steve/Bucky
summary: In 1943, the Howling Commandos wrote goodbye letters to be given to their loved ones in the event of their deaths.In 2014, Sharon Carter finds those letters in a tin can in an abandoned HYDRA base. 
Tony Stark Googled The Thing by mybrotherharry @baffledkingcomposinghallelujah | Tony/Pepper, Tony&Peter
summary: When Morgan is six months old, Pepper goes back to work and Tony takes over as stay-at-home dad. Discovering the mommyblogosphere is the inevitable next step.
Winter Soldier Program by NocturneByChopin | Steve/Bucky
summary: Here’s the thing: he’s got a bit of a secret. It involves a boy that went and became famous when Steve wasn’t looking. 
i was found and now i don't roam these streets by hipsterchrist | Steve/Bucky
summary: Bucky relearns himself and how to be on a team, the rest of the Avengers try to get answers, and everyone watches too much Criminal Minds. 
Between a Rock and a Hard Place by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Michelle/Peter, Michelle&Happy, Tony&Peter
summary: Ever since her mother died a few years back, Michelle's relationship with her father became strained in their grief. One night, after she's forced to show up at Peter's covered in bruises and in need of stitches, she remembers that even the most unsuspecting dormant volcanoes can erupt.
Brooklyn by togina @toli-a | Steve/Bucky
summary: "Captain America, what's your stance on gay marriage?"
Everyone knows that, by now. Everyone but Bucky.
Steve Rogers at 100: Celebrating Captain America on Film by eleveninches, febricant, hellotailor, M_Leigh, neenya, tigrrmilk | Steve/Bucky
summary: Steve and Bucky find out Hollywood has been busy since they went away. A historical survey, including but not limited to: one set of exploded genitals, a brief interlude in France, Mel Gibson and other masterworks of casting, eight Academy awards, several dinosaurs, and something Tony Stark has ominously dubbed “the masterpiece.” Art included.
Project: Get Bucky Barnes a Dog by ruxian | Steve/Bucky
summary: Bucky Barnes does not have a dog. Bucky Barnes does not want a dog. Sam thinks that should change. Bucky does not agree. 
On My Radar by sprinkle_of_cinnamon | Steve/Bucky
summary: The Winter Soldier first noticed it when he was on the helicarrier.
The blonde’s shoulders were broad, incredibly broad.
They stretched the blue uniform in a wide span, drawing down to a narrow waist. It was a distinctly triangular silhouette. It was entirely improbable. And somehow it was strangely familiar.
The Winter Soldier raised his gun and fired. He didn’t have time for distractions, or Steve Rogers’ shoulders. 
LONG (20k+)
despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by praximeter @praximeter | Steve/Bucky
summary: “Those are pins,” Steve realized. He looked over at Hill. “The mask—it’s nailed to his face.” 
notes: may i say a massive fucking HOLY SHIT??????????? incredible. iconic. life-changing.
United States v. Barnes, 617 F. Supp. 2d 143 (D.D.C. 2015) by fallingvoices and radialarch | Steve/Bucky
summary: The Associated Press @AP Winter Soldier set to stand trial for Washington D.C. massacre and treason apne.ws/1og6SWE 
Bucky Barnes: Former Disney Channel Star SERIES by mambo @whtaft | Steve/Bucky
summary: "The question the entertainment world is asking themselves today is... Who is Steve? Hollywood superstar Bucky Barnes was spotted at a wrap-party last night, serenading someone named Steve onstage.” 
Not Easy Conquered SERIES by dropdeaddream and WhatAre Fears | Steve/Bucky
summary: In 1945, Steve Rogers jumps from a nosediving plane and swims through miles of Arctic Ocean to a frozen shore.
In 1947, Steve Rogers marries Peggy Carter.
In 1966, the New York Times finds the lost letters of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes.
notes: if you’ve read stucky, you’ve read this series. i know this. just like i know that its the most GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL series ever written. no topping it. it’s number 1.
Strays by snarklyboojum @snarklyboojum | Steve/Bucky
summary: After finding himself alone for the first time in decades, the Winter Soldier learns how to be a person again. Mostly through caring for an orphaned kitten, countless rounds of YouTube roulette, and stalking Captain America. 
hold me until we crumble by queenklu @queenklu | Steve/Bucky
summary: “Sam told me you were watching Antiques Roadshow,” Natasha says, shaking out her hair. “I assumed it was a national emergency.”
notes: one of my favourite standalone fics i’ve ever read
half awake in a fake empire SERIES by idrilka | Steve/Bucky
summary: In the aftermath of Steve's return to the world of the living and the battle of New York, the academia and the Internet react.
by the river potomac i sat down and wept by peterstank @peter-stank | Steve/Bucky
summary: bucky barnes atones.
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell SERIES by AnnaFugazzi | Steve/Bucky
summary: Captain America and Bucky Barnes were like brothers. Everyone knew that. 
Out of the Dead Land by orphaned account | Steve/Bucky
summary: Someone is building machines that look and act like people.
Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier tries to be Bucky Barnes.
V O L T R O N:  L E G E N D A R Y  D E F E N D E R
romance centric fics
MEDIUM (5 - 20K)
called out your name (but it was too late) by arahir @arahir | James/Keith, Shiro/Keith
summary:  An old classmate watches Keith fall in love with someone else. 
so much for the after party by arahir @arahir | Shiro/Keith
summary: Shiro gets his groove back.
i breathe disaster by arahir @arahir | Shiro/Keith
summary: After the wedding, Keith leaves Earth in search of something he can keep. 
notes: what doES THIS M E AN?!!!??!!?!?! i cried over this ending. i cr i e d. actual real tears. it was so upsetting somehow. and i am so confused. and i went and found the author’s imagined ending in the comments to help understand the open one and it just made me SADDER. i think this is one of those fics that tries to teach me to read the tags and back away at the word “angst”. anyway, excellent, everything i’ve read from this author was incredible
LONG (20K+)
Alien Sex Fiend by Glossolalia | Shiro/Keith | WIP
summary: It started at a drive-in in the 1980s. Unfortunately, this is a love story; a love story about the frontman of Quantum Queef, a punk band, and a boy who rides a red motorcycle. Also, they fight aliens. 
notes: i’m OBSESSED with this fic. i have read it many times. shiro as a punk singer of a band called Quantum Queef????????? and the fact that it’s the only fic on this account???? absolute POWER MOVE.
T H E  1 0 0
romance centric fics
SHORT (0 - 5K)
golden gunned girls by littlearrows | Bellamy/Clarke
summary:  They’re not good girls. They have no reason to be. 
notes: i think about this fic approximately twice a week despite reading it five years ago. there’s a song called gold gun girls by metric that makes me absolutely feral and would be the dream theme song for the intro sequence of the girl gang tv show of my dreams
and then my soul saw you by synchronicities | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: Lexa tells Clarke that love within the cluster is the worst kind of narcissism. Bellamy begs to differ. Sense8 AU.
givers prove unkind by emullz | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: a modern au in which bellamy is in a band, he writes an album about clarke, and she is his ophelia. also, marriage.
she sounds like sex on the radio by lecornergirl | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: “Wait, hold on,” Clarke says. “Are you suggesting I—in the booth?” But her tone is a lot sterner than she feels. Against her better judgement, she’s into it. 
notes: idk what to tell you. i have only bookmarked like three smut fics in my life. it deserves it ok.
the kids aren’t alright by opensummer | Multiple Relationships
summary: The Pacific Rim fusion seven ways. 
notes: probably???? my favourite? pacific rim au? i’ve ever read??? does so much with so little
Haven’t You Heard? The World is Coming To An End by Jenye @likcoln-blog | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: So where would you rather die? Here or in Jaeger? Pacific Rim AU. 
MEDIUM (5 - 20K)
three points (where two lines meet) SERIES by PinkCanary | Bellamy/Clarke/Raven
summary: Clarke wears the two names on her skin like a badge of honour. 
Icarus Lives by karusarchive @cluelesskaru | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: No one could ever have predicted the kaiju were coming.  Clarke Griffin was in need of a new Co-Pilot. Bellamy Blake had just graduated. You can guess how that goes.
notes: if anyone knows me at all, they know i’m a MASSIVE pacific rim fan. like, own all the books and graphic novels and have multiple pacrim t-shirts kind of fan. THIS FIC was my first experience with that franchise. my first ever. i watched the movie BECAUSE of this fic.
Pony Regrets SERIES by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: Octavia drags Bellamy to a My Little Pony tournament. Bellamy is deeply upset about the whole thing, but then the girl running the tournament is really cute.
The Internet Is Forever SERIES by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: Apparently, the internet has been shipping Bellamy Blake (of Team Arkade) and Clarke Griffin (of Craven Cosplay). No one told Bellamy about it. 
Nothing Like Old Times by LayALioness @filmnoirsbian | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: “Clarke killed some guy and stuffed him in the trunk,” Jasper says delightedly. “Your cousin’s dark, dude.”
“Yeah,” Bellamy nods, trying to backtrack. Sometimes he wishes she was actually better at making things up. “She’s a…closeted Goth.” Terminator AU. 
the feel-good hit of the summer by disco_vendetta @errorofyourways | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake are sleeping together. (aka ROCK BAND AU) 
notes: i think about this fic an OBSCENE amount. it’s been five years since i first read it.
LONG (20K+)
Your Mess Is Mine by monroeslittle @argyledpenguin | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: modern AU, Clarke grows up with Octavia, and Octavia's brother. 
notes: the fic that got me into fan fic in the first place. top tier. 42k.
Love Will Come Through by monroeslittle @argyledpenguin | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: AU. Clarke winds up in an arranged marriage with Bellamy. 
Neeeeeeeeeerds by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: Clarke joins the Junior Classical League for two reasons: to appease her mother and to annoy Bellamy Blake.
Our Time Now SERIES by TazmainianDevil | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: The Ark may have been short on all resources vital to sustaining life but one thing they never ran out of was guns.On an Ark that has always been defined by violence, Jake Griffin manages to save his daughter's life and Clarke joins a gang to change the world.
Disney Channel You by Chash @ponyregrets | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: Bellamy only goes to the open casting for Clarke Griffin's new Disney Channel show because Octavia begs him. He never thought he'd actually get the stupid part. 
And You Understand Now Why They Lost Their Minds and Fought the Wars by marauders_groupie @marauders-groupie | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: Clarke doesn’t understand why they say that soulmates are one soul in two bodies. Her soul has five other bodies and she would give her life for any of them. Sense8 AU. 
notes: probably my favourite sense8 AU i’ve ever read?? and i have read Many
build this fire higher, higher toward the sky SERIES by adelicatepeach | Bellamy/Clarke
summary: Clarke's jaeger goes down on a Thursday. Pacific Rim AU. 
H A R R Y  P O T T E R
gen centric fic
LONG (20K+)
yer a wizard, dudley by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Dudley&A Lot of People
summary: Minerva fished in her pocket without looking, because the only things allowed in her pockets were only ever exactly what she needed. “I've come to deliver this,” she said, “because Hogwarts by-laws require a professor to hand-deliver acceptance letters to Muggleborn families for their explanation and comfort." 
notes: i have only ever cared about two harry potter fics in my life. this is one of them.
the family evans by dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch | Petunia&A Lot of People
summary: What if, when Petunia Dursley found a little boy on her front doorstep, she took him in? Not into the cupboard under the stairs, not into a twisted childhood of tarnished worth and neglect—what if she took him in? 
notes: this is the other one
T H E  R A V E N  C Y C L E
gen centric fic
MEDIUM (5 - 20K)
Helter Skelter by Anonymous | Ronan&Blue
summary: In hindsight, a road trip with your step-brother and his best friends in Gansey's dying Pig is not an ideal way to start summer break. Sargent-Lynch siblings AU.
meet hennessy by izzylizardborn @gaybluesargent | Hennessy&Jordan
summary: Hennessy had seen movies. She knew how this went. When it came to clones, there was always a good one and an evil one. She didn’t need to wonder which was which.
life is not a movie, maybe by coyotesuspect | Ronan&Blue
summary: Ronan gets kicked out of Aglionby and enrolls at Mountain View High for his senior year. The only problem is, no one remembers to tell Blue. 
Honeymoon by vexmybones | Ronan&Blue
summary: Blue and Ronan living together, no buffers, no bullshit, this is how they cope. 
the bugs and alphabet by Pi @rhea314 | Ronan&Blue
summary: In which Blue babysits Chainsaw, Ronan & Blue make angry art projects, and some conversations are almost had. 
romance centric fic
SHORT (0 - 5K)
Pretty Good, Right? by suddensingularity | Ronan/Blue
summary: Blue wants to have sex before her true love dies. Ronan helps out. Ronan/Blue
notes: yeah ok this is one of the three smut fics i’ve bookmarked its fun ok
MEDIUM (5 - 20K)
It Had To Be You by shinealightonme @toast-the-unknowing | Ronan/Adam
summary: Ronan hates basically everything about their business, or that's what he tells Blue, but the worst part is that he's constantly meeting cute guys and none of them are single. 
darling, don’t make such a drama by shinealightonme @toast-the-unknowing | Ronan/Adam, Ronan&Henry, Ronan&Declan
summary: "Straight answers are boring," Cheng says, "and yes I do mean that for all values of straight. I do not need Ronan to share his tragic backstory, I would much rather deduce it on my own."
"Who says I have a tragic backstory?"
"With your fearsome glower and troubled good looks? If you did not have a tragic backstory it would be a waste."
 C O M M U N I T Y
romance centric fic
LONG (20k+)
Playing House by itsactuallycorrine @itsactuallycorrine | Jeff&Annie
summary: Six years ago, Jeff let Annie go. She never returned to Greendale, and he moved on. Now, he's a single dad to a one-year-old and he needs her help.
A V A T A R:  T H E  L A S T  A I R B E N D E R
gen centric fic
SHORT (0 - 5K)
call it dreaming by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Toph&Gaang
After the war, Toph has nightmares. The screeching of metal, Sokka and Suki's screams, the snap of Sokka's leg as it broke from their fall. It's usually his confession that they aren't going to make it that makes her wake up in a cold sweat. She's anxious all the time now, unable to find peaceful sleep.
The cure is apparently to try and hold all of her friends hands for all hours of the days and hope that they're cool with it. 
what’s in a name by ciaconnaa @ciaconnaa | Toph&Sokka
summary: At her request, Sokka teaches Toph to write her name.
He learns a thing or two about the weight his own name holds in the process.
MEDIUM (5 - 20K)
the beginning of a new and brighter birth by aloneintherain @captainkirkk | Zuko&Gaang
summary: “I’m so proud of you, my nephew.” Uncle cups Zuko’s face in his lined hand. The gesture is so tender, his palm so warm, that Zuko has to take a fortifying breath against the sudden swell of emotion in his chest.
“I want to be a good leader, Uncle,” Zuko says. “I want to look after my people.”
“You will,” Uncle says. “You are, nephew.”
In a new era of peace, Zuko works to be a very different Fire Lord than his forefathers.
the scope of blindness series by littlelionlady @thelittlelionlady | Toph&Gaang
summary: There are just some things that Toph's feet can't see.
Her hands can though.
Or, Toph learns what her friends look like by tracing their faces. 
notes: geniunely how goddamn beautiful is this. like. i cried. this is so soft and so cute and it made me feel SO MANY things
All The Gentle Creatures by Haircrescendo @sword-and-stars | Iroh&Zuko
It’s said that you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat animals. Zuko may be loud and stubborn and sharp but all the woodland creatures love him. 
LONG (20K+)
The Family You Choose by TunaFishChris | Zuko&Gaang
summary: Some people are born with soulmarks. Zuko has them, but his grandfather burned them off because they "make you weak."
Team Avatar has a few things to say about that. 
such selfish prayers by andromeda3116 @andromeda3116 | Katara&The Fire Nation, Katara/Zuko
Katara's ambition, so long set aside for the good of others, breaks free and sets fire to her soul. Or, Katara has a vision of her canon future, casts it aside, and becomes a world-changing politician instead. 
and love will be your teacher SERIES by Ford_Ye_Fiji @ford-ye-fiji | Iroh&Zuko
summary: "And you will know the pain of losing a firstborn son." Ozai loses Zuko. Iroh gains a son. And the future changes.
notes: excellent excellent excellent excellent makes me very happy indeed
romance centric fic
SHORT (0 - 5K)
on commitment by jdphoenix | Zuko/Katara
summary: “Just explain it to me again.”
“There is no way you can pass as my brother and we are way too conspicuous as two unrelated people, from different nations, traveling together. So we’re pretending to be married.”
we hold our hearts in silence by psychedelic_aya | Zuko/Katara
summary: Seventy years later, Korra tries to figure out Zuko and Katara. 
oracle bones by orphaned account | Zuko/Katara
summary: The foreign, pictorial characters that bracelet Zuko's left wrist have never been covered in any of his lessons. He cannot read them. And then he turns thirteen, and his father burns his wrist along with his face.
MEDIUM (5 - 20K)
late nights/early mornings SERIES by shmulia @shmuliawrites | Zuko/Katara
summary: Whoever set off the fire alarm at 2 in the morning is on Katara’s shit list. Even if he is hot and shirtless. 
the thing about dancing by anodymalion | Sokka/Zuko
summary: The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.
LONG (20K+)
Fate Deferred by catie_writes_things @catie-does-things | Zuko/Katara | WIP
summary: Aang remains in the iceberg ten years longer. He awakens to a very different world. 
The Sparrowkeet SERIES by audreyii_fic | Zuko/Katara
summary: Ba Sing Se has fallen and Katara has been captured by the Fire Nation; a more adult take on the potential progression of S3. AU series of interconnected one-shots. 
notes: i would die for this series, particularly the last instalment. i enjoyed every single fic and it was just such a GOOD STORY.
T H E  U M B R E L L A  A C A D E M Y 
gen centric fic
SHORT (0 - 5K)
you from yesterday by questors (sieges) @softpunks | Five&Siblings
summary:  The difference between who his siblings once were versus who they are now. 
Ghost Math by pinstripedJackalope | Five&Klaus
summary: Number Five needs a new hobby now that the apocalypse is off. He decides to help Klaus--and in turn maybe he'll help himself. 
Then There Was Two by AnneKatherine | Five&Vanya
summary: Reginald Hargeeves finally decides to allow Grace to name the Academy. Unfortunately, he's only willing to let her name the Academy, which Seven is unfortunately not a part of.
[or how Five gave away his name]
(he definitely didn't want one anyway) 
i tiresias (have foresuffered all) by ThatWeirdGuyInTheBushes | Five&Siblings, Five/Delores
summary: Five misses sharing his birthday, but Five has missed a lot of things.alternatively; number five, coffee, and the art of taking back. 
MEDIUM (5 - 20K)
The Five Vetting Process by jaz_hop | Five&Siblings
summary: In which Five is incredibly invested in the love lives of his siblings, because they're obviously too stupid to choose anyone worthy enough to be their partner. Otherwise known as Five being stupidly over-protective, and incredibly invasive in the hopes of keeping his siblings safe and happy... even if he is being a stalker and a dick about it. 
LONG (20K+)
You and I Together Forever SERIES by Ace_of_Spades_400 @ace-of-spades-400 | Vanya&Siblings
summary: What if it hadn't only been Five, what if it hadn't been Five at all?
A series of stories about what would have happened if Vanya had chosen a different sibling.
Sometimes the choice isn't hers.
Timeliness 1-2.1 SERIES by dgalerab | Hargreeves Siblings
summary: As the world ends, Five takes his siblings back into their child bodies on the day he originally left. With the knowledge of how the world ends fresh in their minds, the Hargreeves siblings do what they can to leave clues for their past selves on how to grow up a little less fucked up before returning to the present.
A present where they all have different lives they can't remember, there's a fun new apocalypse on the way, and Reginald Hargreeves remembers the day where all his children suddenly and inexplicably lost their minds and all respect for him at once a little too well.
Rare Birds SERIES by Cryptix23 | Hargreeves Siblings
summary: An alternate 2019 brings with it new problems and new dangers.
The two sets of Hargreeves children mix like water on a greasefire. It's hard to tell which group is unhappier about the situation -- the Sparrows, trying to navigate the minefield of their new siblings' many traumas, or the Umbrellas, trying to carve their place back into a world that forgot them.
Plus the whole saving-the-world thing hanging over them all.
Whether they like it or not, they're going to have to learn to work together. 
Partners, Parents, or None of the Above by DarkFairytale | Diego&Klaus
summary:  Kenny's mom assuming that Diego and Klaus were A) a couple and B) Number Five’s parents was both bemusing and amusing at the time. But that was because it was the only time it had ever happened. Now though? Now they just can't understand why these misunderstandings keep happening. 
119 notes · View notes
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Garbage’s Shirley Manson: “Being human is to be messy. If you think you’re above all that you’re in deep, deep trouble”
As Garbage unveil their first new album in five years, No Gods No Masters, Shirley Manson talks getting political, cancel culture, and why speaking up is more important than ever…
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A metaphorical low for Shirley Manson involved a poster, a car journey and getting dumped. A lawyer for Garbage​’s label Interscope records called and told her she was dropped.
“I was about 40 years old at the time. My mother was dying, I was abjectly miserable, my career was on the skids,” she remembers, convincing herself at the time, ​“You will never again recover, you’re a woman over 40, you’re screwed.”
On the journey home alone after this call, she drove down Los Feliz Boulevard, five minutes from her house, and looked to her right. There in front of her was a shop-sized display poster of Garbage being sold at a yard sale for a few dollars. ​“I looked at myself being sold on the street, literally. And I burst into tears and I slumped down in my car because I felt like everyone could see me. I felt deep, deep shame, which is not an emotion I experience often, for my sins.”
Shirley explains today from her LA home that shortly after that experience she had a revelation: ​“It doesn’t matter if you never get signed to a record label again. It doesn’t matter if you never perform again in public, you can still be a singer, you can still be a creator, you can still be an artist.” Since that moment, her career – and her relationship to it – has been a healthy one. Still, the lyrics she wrote based off this pivotal experience were words she was eager to use in a song for 12 years. Nothing quite felt right… until now. They appear on a heavier highlight of Garbage’s new record, The Creeps (‘I was so upset, I saw them selling me out / Right there on Los Feliz Boulevard’). ​“That song is about not listening to my feelings – that narrative I feed myself is often just as negative and inaccurate as a stranger telling me what to think.”
The capitalistic misogyny of the music industry and the world at large is just one of the weighty topics Garbage sink their teeth into on No Gods No Masters. Tinged with a gothic darkness, it’s a dystopian, slow-paced and angular album, and one that feels timely for all its ​’80s sonic influences. It stands out from their other releases for covering racism and police brutality and wealth disparity. A reoccurring image of white men as undeserving and cruel gods looms large. These themes that have been relevant for decades – if not centuries, millennia – but listen to it and you can’t ignore the fact it speaks to the last couple of years.
Speaking of the pandemic, Shirley is feeling grateful and thoughtful for her own circumstances. As a musician she’s been focused on the injustice in the lack of support for artists on both sides of the Atlantic (“You’re literally considered a nothing as a musician”). In the UK, those involved in the live music industry were encouraged by the Conservative government to retrain. But they’re fortunate, thinks Shirley, if only compared to America, where government furlough money didn’t help those whose jobs were in jeopardy or defunct.
“I’m concerned about all the young musicians who have not received any support from their government, and have been left to rot,” she says. ​“I know a lot of struggling musicians who literally can barely feed themselves. We’ve got a terrible homeless situation here in LA, and I have people living in tents two steps away from my house. And that is a very healthy reminder of my good fortune and my privilege.”
Opening up about adversity faced by musicians – especially female musicians – within the industry is something Shirley has done for years. The commentary around Garbage’s treatment by labels or ageism inadvertently leveraged against her has followed the band through almost every step of their career. It’s a significant part of the Garbage story.
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“I think a lot of artists are fearful of speaking the truth,” she says when this is put to her. ​“I just think that the most powerful version of oneself is the most authentic version. That to me is when you have no secrets, you’re not cowed, you’re not scared, because the truth is out. I think people are very frightened that people discover things about them. And that truly does make you vulnerable. When you’re lying and deceiving, you’re constantly spending energy trying to hide your life. And I just don’t have time for that.”
No Gods No Masters is the first major label release from Garbage for years, and unusually – ironically, almost – it’s their most political. Their last two albums – 2012’s Not Your Kind Of People and 2016’s Strange Little Birds – were released independently through Garbage’s own label Stunvolume, which they set up to be free, of ​“greedy corporate interest”, as the band put it in a Facebook post at the time. The decision to return to a label was because they struggled to maintain their footing in the industry without it: ​“We couldn’t really get our records distributed. We couldn’t get on radio; nobody would take our calls. We simply could not compete. We realised that if we didn’t make this leap at this particular moment in time, we would drown entirely.” But returning to the corporate fold explicitly meant not giving up creative freedom. One of the key understandings was Garbage having total control over whatever they did.
But Shirley wasn’t overly concerned about the threat of control anyway.
“If you’re lucky enough to stick around long enough, the economics of [our] sort of discography allow you a certain kind of autonomy,” she says.
So there was no pressure from people telling you not to make a political record, for example?
“I think as you get older, you’re able to parse pressures more effectively. You’re able to set boundaries. You can hold that [boundary] and not fret that somehow you’re going to be punished for that. Because that’s the deal: if you have integrity and you don’t compromise, you will be punished for it. That’s how it works. As you get older, you stop caring so much about that threat and about that reality.”
Back in 2018, Shirley experienced another turning point. She was asked to speak alongside trans black activist Ashlee Marie Preston and sex educator Ericka Hart at an intersectional feminism event and was, essentially, educated herself.
“Both these women are phenomenal powerhouses and they have great minds, agile minds, and they really took me to school. And they were very gentle with me, I have to say, but I was mortified at my ignorance, regarding systemic racism and a whole gamut of things. I determined then I had to educate myself about the black experience that I knew nothing about.”
In these situations, it is often the case that white people get defensive and shut down. ​“I too had a flare up of defensiveness, but I knew deep down, you don’t feel your ears burning for no reason.” Her education involved reading Patrisse Cullors and Asha Bandele’s When They Call You A Terrorist: A Black Lives Matter Memoir and James Baldwin, Maya Angelou and Alice Walker. It was watching The 13th, the documentary by Ava DuVernay. It was learning about the murder of Trayvon Martin and the murders of other black people at white hands, the hands of police.
This drive to self-educate didn’t fizzle out after a brief spell. ​“I’ve spent 54 years, or 50 years, being an ignorant, white privileged woman in the world. And I’ve got a lot to learn, and I look forward to learning more,” Shirley says. Feelings of sadness and shame were mixed with an understanding that she was being compliant in ignoring black suffering, as she was trained and expected to. ​“We’re conditioned to not look, because once you start looking, you can’t turn away, unless you’re a monster or a devil.”
The year 2018 was also when the band started writing for the album, though Shirley says there was no intention for this to be a political record. ​“Nothing’s premeditated, and nothing is planned,” she reveals of when the band get together to write an album. It’s a process of them coming together and simply writing in the moment, with Shirley responding to the music the rest of the band provide. It just happened that it coincided with this reckoning in her personal life: ​“I just allowed who I was in my private life to come out into the record, all the preoccupations at that time, dripped out onto this record, simply because I didn’t put up a barrier.”
Most of the writing happened in Palm Springs at Garbage guitarist Steve Marker’s in-laws’ house. Even for a band as legendary as Garbage, there are financial considerations (“It was free accommodation,” Shirley laughs). ​“Bands now have to be really careful about their economics. That’s why there’s a plethora of solo artists and fewer and fewer bands, because they are hard to sustain. They’re these weird little microcosms that nobody wants to spend money on. We had a limited budget and we were like, ​‘Okay, how are we going to pull this off?’”
They honed in on their long-time influences of Roxy Music, Gary Numan, Siouxsie And The Banshees, The Cure and Talking Heads to create an ​’80s feel. The fact that Butch Vig received a delivery of a brand new drum machine the day they started writing set the pace of the record, quite literally. ​“He didn’t know how to work it,” she remembers. ​“The fact the drum tracks sound rudimentary are just because he was feeling out how to work this machine.”
From its opening track, The Men Who Rule The World, it’s evident this is a record about men who set up and maintain the capitalistic structures that are destroying the planet and lives for the vast majority in work. Mention the fact that nearly 500 people became billionaires during the pandemic and Shirley replies: ​“These billionaires are more powerful than any government in the world. How is that even legal? I said earlier about people living outside my house in tents: it’s heartbreaking, too painful, too obscene.”
To write songs like Waiting For God, a self-explanatory track about racism if you listen to the lyrics, opens Garbage up to getting it wrong. This is a small price to pay for speaking on these topics, Shirley says. ​“If that requires that I be a little discomforted, so be it. If that requires somebody pointing a finger at me and laughing at me or criticising me, so be it. I’m middle-aged, and I’m starting to see the end of my lifespan. And I don’t want to leave this world thinking that I didn’t lift a finger to try and make things better for generations to follow. I want to know that I at least tried to speak up in defence of someone else. As white people, we all have to just get over ourselves a little and be willing to be uncomfortable.”
And why is a fear of being cancelled by people for getting it wrong more important than having a go at making the right statement?
“Cancel culture is such a tool of bullying and again, a tool of shutting you down and shutting you up,” replies Shirley. ​“Every human being, every artist, every icon has made mistakes. You’re not going to find a perfect person in the world ever. And I think it’s so immature and silly to think that you will. And my God, how hard are you being on yourself, if that’s how hard you’re being on other people?
“Being human is to be messy,” she continues. ​“And if you think you’re above all that you’re in deep, deep trouble.”
It’s inevitable that some listeners will think this album has been written in response to the last couple of years, rather than envisioned three or more years ago. While the members of Garbage are pleased they’ve made a record that feels prescient, it’s both an ancient and timeless album: these are the oldest issues known to humankind. But in true Shirley Manson style, her feelings and opinions are disclosed to us listeners as evidence of where she was and where she is.
“I’m sort of grateful for the record,” says Shirley. ​“We have a public testimony of where we stand in this world as people currently. What we’re in disagreement with, what appalls us, and the hope that we have for the future.”
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gaylord-fagaton · 4 years ago
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How to Not Make Friends: A Guide by One George Henry Hodgson
Or alternatively titled: How George Hodgson’s Character Arc is Actually a Story about Trying to Fit in, and then Failing Miserably
Today I’ll be bringing you more Hodgson thoughts, specifically on the question of his place within the group, or rather his lack of place within the group. He exists at the fringes of the Terror’s command team, he’s a part of it of course that’s his job, but he really isn’t part of the group not like Little, nor Crozier, or finally Irving. This is what made him such a good target for Hickey, who is probably observant enough to notice this, his feelings of rejection coupled with the fact that apparently nobody ever taught him about stranger danger had him following Hickey into the tent.
The way Hodgson behaves is the primary reason for him being ostracized from the rest of the terror officers I believe. If you hadn’t noticed, Little is basically depression personified, Irving is well….the way he is, and their captain is an alcoholic angry at the entire world. There is no room for the happy go lucky Hodgson, who is just here to have a good time, not a long time. (Side Note: This doesn’t have much relevance when it comes to the terror as a show, but Hodgson was hand picked by Fitzjames. Can you imagine having your friend asking you to come work with them, only to find out you aren’t actually working with them at all, and are in fact working in one of the most stressful environments imaginable.) It also does not help that a great deal of Hodgson’s attempts of relating to others or bringing levity to situations are generally not particularly relevant or are downright inappropriate at times. I always go back to the “hear, hear” bit when Irving is listing their dwindling food supplies, because it’s one of the best examples, you’re going to starve to death Hodgson what is wrong with you? (Not to insert head cannons into my meta but, George Hodgson autistic). The sheer level of annoyance on the faces of his companions when he does his bullshit, is almost funny. In the aforementioned scene Irving looks about ready to kill him, so does Armitage when he goes on about the origin of the word diet in a later scene.
Not only does the way everybody behaves around Hodgson tell us about the way he is viewed, but so does everybody’s reactions, or rather lack thereof.  Nobody ever responds to him verbally at least; this is except for one notable exception in Hickey. I think this was perhaps a ploy on Hickey’s part at least at first, later it became mocking, he had no intention to really allow Hodgson into his group (more on this later).
I hadn’t really noticed this before, until @gildatheplant​ mentioned it on my newest gif-set, but we really don’t have any shots of the Lieutenants together. This to me, is seemingly done to create a further sense of separation between Hodgson and his fellow command members.
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Here the camera pans away from Hodgson leaving only Little, Irving, Crozier, and Jopson in the shot. He was left out, even though he is standing right next to Little at the time.
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In this scene, Little and Irving are standing right next to each other, but Hodgson is standing across the room by himself.
I don’t know how much those kinds of scenes really mean in the long run, I just think it’s really interesting to look at. Even without them, Hodgson is painted as quite the outcast from the rest of the terror command. There but not really There.
Here we come to his murder of the Netsilik family, now this is primarily motivated by racist fear. His go too wouldn’t have been fucking murder if he wasn’t a shithead racist, and as I’ve mentioned before his story to Little later when he realizes he might have fucked up on goes on to further illustrate how he feels about the Netsilik people. Beyond the racist fear fueled by a story that sounds like a chain email or a shitty Facebook post, another motivator for his haste in acting, I think is probably a want for some form of acceptance into the group. At this point he’d just been informed of the fact that a command meeting had occurred, and he wasn’t invited, instead he was sent out on the rather unlikable task of burying Morfin. They are sharing important information and promoting new officers, and they hadn’t thought about including him. If he didn’t feel like an outcast beforehand, he must certainly feel that way now, especially as hickey is shoving his rat like fingers into the hole in his heart where friends would go if he had any. So he acts, because if he does the right thing, perhaps this will be enough for him to get the recognition that he wants and craves, and he’ll maybe be a part of the group finally. It turns out, however, that he was wrong, really fucking wrong, and then everything proceeds to go to shit.
When it comes to his placement within the mutineer group, I wouldn’t call him a mutineer but he is also definitely not a hostage like Goodsir. He had a choice something which Goodsir who was forced at gun point to come with Hickey and co. did not, a shitty choice, but a choice none the less. (Side note: beyond referring to the fact that he is to much of a coward to do anything about hickey, I think his “I’m hungry and want to live” line could also describe the circumstances in which he joined up with Hickey. If he hadn’t joined he’d have certainly starved to death.) He is still on the fringes even here, treated like a spectacle, a joke, and has his live threatened by Hickey multiple times. He is neither a mutineer or a hostage, but kind of both at the same time. Hickey was a collector of those who he knew didn’t fit in, and that fits Hodgson.
Onwards to his monologue to Goodsir in the tent, who also doesn’t respond to him rip. In part beyond it being about a strange religious experience, which oof dude you were like 8, I think it is also a tale about fitting in. In church setting like that everybody is doing the same thing, you are a part of a collective in front of god. Which is why tiny Hodgson was so moved to participate because it finally meant he was a part of something. He labels it a “perfect moment in his imperfect life” because it’s what he always wanted, to fit in. Interestingly enough, (Thanks to @gobnaits​ for pointing this out) communion means “sharing in common” and is a sacrament of initiation. (Catholic facts that make you hmmm) He ultimately rejects this because he was taught this kind of community is wrong but also because, I believe that he thought he’d eventually be unable to function within this group. (*Cough* George Hodgson Autistic *Cough*) Ultimately I think George Hodgson’s story arch is about being an outcast and a want for acceptance, which along with his own ignorance is the reason for his downfall.
TL;DR: Hodgson is outcast and it makes me sad. Also I love him.
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missnight0wl · 4 years ago
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Unpopular opinion: I wish dating was never introduced to HPHM.
I was always rather open about the fact that I don’t have much interest in dating content in HPHM, so you might say it’s very subjective rambling. But I think I also have some more objective arguments for that statement, so… hear me out (or don’t; I can’t tell you what to do).
Some spoilers for the Festival Fun TLSQ, the Celestial Ball TLSQ, the First Date TLSQ, the Valentine’s Day TLSQ, the All-Wizards Tournament TLSQ, and “Cooking Up Trouble” SQ.
First of all, I want to address the most obvious counterargument for my wish: “but people want dating!”. Yeah, I know. But here’s a thing. A long time ago, almost at the very beginning of the game’s existence, when we were only speculating about any love interests, people were referencing one article. The article where the creators claimed that romance is planned for the future (among other things). And if you ask me, it was their mistake. It was a mistake because it created expectations which they had to react to. The problem is that they were never ready to introduce such type of content. I mean, just look at the past events. Andre mentioned dating when he was first introduced back in Y3 (!), and he said then that most people don’t date until they’re in the fourth year. And yes, the Celestial Ball was eventually placed as Y4 Achievement, but the main story was well into Y5 already! What I take from this is that at best, they had only a rough idea for the ball when they wrote Andre’s comment in Y3 (if it took them so long to actually create the quest). And so, I have to wonder – why they even talked about dating in Y3 if they were not ready? Now, I’m not saying that nobody would ask for dating if Jam City didn’t mention it in that article, or Andre omitted that topic in Y3. There’d definitely be people still wishing for some romance. But there’d be no actual reasons to expect that. Because HPHM was created as a mystery story (even if people don’t remember about it anymore), and a mystery story doesn’t really need romance.
The second thing I’d like to point out for the sake of this discussion is that the dating quests require quite a lot of work from the devs team. Admittedly, the quality of those efforts is sometimes questionable, but still. I’m also no tech or game design expert, but here are some things which I believe make dating quests more time-consuming than most of the others:
Designing outfits. Each of the datable characters is given a new outfit (+ new outfits for MC). I also want to notice that most of those outfits are one-time-use. Well, except maybe for the bundles available to buy for real money…
Creating new locations/characters. To be fair, some of “regular” quests require those too, although the majority uses things already existing and being used in the main story.
Creating new animations: dancing, holding hands, pecks on the cheek, more (new) dancing.
Creating multiple routes for different date options – and even if it’s mostly copy-paste, it takes time nonetheless.
To be clear, creating new things for the game is not bad. My point is that basically every dating adventure required ALL of that invested in one single quest – and pretty much none of that can be reused outside of dating. In fact, they’re not even reusing those animations completely for each new date. The kiss from the Valentine’s Day was different from the recent one, the Festival had new dances added to make it more diverse in comparison to the Celestial Ball etc. And what those unique quests have to offer? One cute moment with your date, which is… kind of meaningless. I’m sorry, but dating stories are basically irrelevant in the bigger picture. I mean, yeah, they’re adorable, but that’s it. And it’s just NOT proportional to all the work put into them. Because look…
The dating quests add very little to nothing to flesh out the characters – and if they do, it has nothing to do with dating.
The Celestial Ball did a pretty great job at adding to Rowan and Ben. People often criticise MC for “forcing” them to come to the party, but the problem was clearly about them feeling not good enough to go (not necessarily about them not wanting to go), and so I really loved working on their self-confidence. Bill also grew a lot in that quest, overcoming his rejection from Emily Tyler. Andre discovered his styling talent, so he was no longer “just” a brilliant Quidditch player. Even Penny had some insecurities to face as she wanted to prove that she’s not only popular but she can also create fantastic decorations. So… couldn’t it just be a quest about FRIENDSHIP and our friends growing? The whole dating subplot felt kind of forced to me, or maybe rather detached. Not to mention that THAT was kind of a dick move to leave Rowan and Ben after using the argument:
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The next quests were more oriented on dating itself, but at the same time, they’re focused less on the characters’ individual personalities. Sure, there are some differences between dates, but it’s more about distinction than adding anything new. For instance, in the Festival Fun TLSQ, every character yells out loud that you’re on a date (unless you chose to keep it a secret), MC just points out that it’s unlike them in the case of Talbott, Jae, and Chiara. Next example: I thought it’s pretty amusing that Jae writes dreadful poems with cheap rhymes, but it turns out that the note with Butterbeer could also be left by Barnaby. I know that in MY playthrough, Barnaby didn’t leave it, but I can’t see it as Jae’s characteristic, simply because it wasn’t written for his character – it was written to fit Jae and Barnaby, so it’s kinda meaningless in my eyes.
Another thing is that even if those dates added something individual, it’d be relevant only for a limited audience. Like, I’m really happy for people who wanted to date Badeea, but for me, she barely existed in this quest. It added NOTHING to her character. During the First Date quest, Tulip revealed that girls in her family are being named after flowers (her cousin is called Marigold), which is a pretty neat fact, but I wouldn’t know it if I didn’t put extra effort to see different options. And believe me, there’s a big part of the payers who don’t do it. I’m still seeing on social media people being surprised that Rowan’s gender and House are connected to MC’s.
And speaking of that already: this is why the dating options are being cut off. And honestly, it sucks, but I get it, I really do. The devs have to spend the same amount of time on a character dated by 6% of the players as on a character dated by 36% of the players. Let’s add real money to that, and let’s say that 10% of all players buy gems/energy on TLSQs. Jam City will make more money out of that 36% than out of 6% - it’s as simple as that. At the end of the day, they are a business. Would it be nice to make all players happy? Of course, but it’s easier to keep the majority happy.
The dating quests don’t really matter for the main story – and they won’t matter more in the future.
Why? Because it’d be too complicated at this point. All we’re getting (and what we’ll ever get) are subtle differences in dialogues. And you know what? Even that doesn’t matter much. For example, in Y6, there’s a scene where Talbott calls MC to the Owlery and offers his help in searching through the letters. He talks then about their friendship, and if you took him on a date, he mentions it as well. The thing is that Talbott is pretty heart-warming here in general, how he opens on us being friends:
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Sure, that one additional line is pretty cute, but again, is it really a satisfying pay-off from the dating quest, considering how much was put into it? And I don’t think they even can do more because they always have to keep in mind the players who didn’t manage to finish TLSQs in time or just didn’t want to do it.
I don’t want to be only negative about dating because that’s not really my point, so here are some ideas on how to invest all of that time better (and no, it’s not just the lore and in-depth history of the Cursed Vaults because I know I’m in the minority who cares about it):
More outfits for NPCs which could be used for variety. I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of seeing characters like Penny, Merula, Ben, or Talbott in their full school robes ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Ideally, I wish every character to have three outfits: full school robes, some variety of a uniform (so something like Tulip and Barnaby) used in the school but outside of classes, and something totally casual used outside of the castle.
More animations between characters like hugs, patting on the arm etc. Anything which could be used almost on a daily basis, and which would make our interactions looks more natural and less stiff. Seriously, I’ll take a supportive hug instead of a peck on the cheek ANY DAY.
More character-centric quests. So many of our friends need their own SQ: Tulip, Badeea, Liz, Diego. The rest could probably also use them to expand their characters – because those SQs do a great job at this. Like, I took Jae to the festival, and it was alright, but to be completely honest, his “Cooking Up Troubles” SQ was SO MUCH BETTER for his character. We learnt new things about Jae, we had some really cute friendship moments (like this and this)… And it was a super simple quest with only seven parts in total! It just needed to be written: no new locations, animations etc. Yet, the pay-off was just… better, more meaningful.
Another thing that could be done in those character-centric quests is more focus on the relationships between our friends because, in my opinion, this is needed as well. I want to talk here a little about the “All-Wizards Tournament” TLSQ, which I think is really underrated. This is probably because of people claiming that Jam City is reaching too much to reference the books events AND because of Rowan’s absence. And don’t get me wrong, those are valid objections. But when it comes to the characters… this TLSQ was pretty great. We saw a lot of our friends' insecurities (Barnaby, Jae, Liz), we saw their more competitive side (Andre, Badeea)… Badeea was especially interesting to me as she showed that she can be quite cunning when she somehow learnt about the first task. She also didn’t reveal that information to Merula and Ismelda because they were occupying the training dummies, but she did share with MC (meaning that you really want to have her on your side…).
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It somehow made me think about the situation from Y5 when she admitted that she tricked Jae into thinking that she knows Apparition by using an Invisibility Cloak. It’s nice to know there’s more to her than meets the eye, which was also cohesive with the main story (even if we don’t see it much). The TLSQ also showed some dynamics between our friends, like Jae and Andre (which I mentioned here). And of course, I really enjoyed the ending conclusion: that some tasks can be dealt with only when you work together. Again, I’d love to see this theme being explored more because it creates such a compelling contrast between Jacob and MC. Jacob didn’t have many friends at school. We only know about Duncan and Olivia, and it’s still unclear if Olivia was an actual friend or a colleague they worked with. Not to mention that it was implied that for some time, Jacob was working all alone. Meanwhile, MC has basically the whole army at this point. It’d be interesting to see that this is one of the things which makes MC stronger than their brother.
Now, the reason why the “All-Wizards Tournament” TLSQ could focus on all of that is because we didn’t waste the time on all of “secret admires mystery”, “oh, who should I choose” etc. So, just as a thought experiment, let’s think about how the Festival Fun could improve if we’d eliminate the dating aspect. First of all, more characters could get more screen time, like Badeea, maybe Tulip… Liz? Diego (our dancer!)? Ismelda? Even Talbott didn’t have a big role unless you chose him as a date. The plot could also be more dynamic instead of a whole bunch of stalling. I’d leave the investigation with Andre because I think it’s a great addition to his character, but it’s also fucking sad that any development he’s getting is around dating. Like, the boy deserves so much better. So, let’s change that! Let’s say he asks MC for help because he’s styling some summer outfits for the upcoming festival, but one of his fabrics is missing. Perhaps it’s a bit more expensive material, so they suspect that Jae might’ve “borrowed” it to make some money. Jae, of course, is deeply insulted because he’s a smuggler and an occasional cheater, but not a thief! They argue with Andre, but eventually, they come to understanding. Then, MC remembers that Badeea wanted to experiment with painting methods, so perhaps she decided to incorporate some fabric into that. We find Badeea and Barnaby, they don’t have what we’re looking for, but there’s some action going on there, maybe including Talbott… Long story short, it turns out that Tulip needed it in preparation for Cruppies race or something. I don’t know, I’m coming up with it pretty much as I write. The point is that the time spent on talking about dating could’ve been used on something more specific, individual, which could be more meaningful in the light of the main story. And since there’d be no routes, all of that would be relevant for everyone after completing the quest. Want it to be even better? Make it a regular side quest, not time-limited.
All right, but couldn’t we just have both: characters development and dating? Of course, that’d be ideal. But as I said before, Jam City is a business and rarely any business is ideal. They’ll always prioritise a limited number of things, and since people whine about dating, we’re getting dating. And again, I’m not saying that dating is totally worthless, and I get that people find it cute and whatnot. I just believe that what dating ultimately adds to the game is not proportionate to the time and effort those quests require to be created. That it could’ve been invested better. Dating is basically stopping us from getting better content (at least in some areas). And we’re kind of asking for that…
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halothenthehorns · 3 years ago
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TLTNL- BEYOND THE VEIL
James weighed the book uncertainly in his hand, though watching Harry was infinitely heavier. Harry was very clearly trying his hardest to push out for all of them that now Sirius wasn't there, everything should be okay, but not a one of them were fooled. He would not sit down, pacing anxiously along the length of the couch now that he had the room to stretch, but still hovering near Sirius more than was called for with what his own words said. The new voice that had just arrived did not feel like a good thing, not many people called Harry by his last name.
Shadows appeared all around them, Ginny gave a gasp of horror when she saw they were all wearing masks with wands pointed at their hearts.
So did they, but James couldn't bring himself to believe it until he said.
Malfoy repeated that Potter give that to him.
"Death Eaters!" Sirius spat. How was it even possible by this point the day would continue to grow worse by the second.
Though none of them had been fool enough to think at least some of Voldemort's minions wouldn't accompany him on whatever this was, the fact that the kids hadn't walked into some roaring battle left them with just a second of hope whatever had happened with Sirius had already been resolved. Now they became all to aware of that ambush.
"How did this even happen?" James demanded of nothing. He was far past his means for normal thought for the day, he still didn't even know if Sirius was okay for being in Voldemort's presence for how many hours!
"I can see it," Remus muttered uneasily, though his dry throat made it hard to keep going with his own thoughts. "Snape would have told what Harry said, the Order would have reacted getting in and out as fast as possible. We'd of course be weary and suspicious as hell-"
"That's a lot of if's and maybe's," Sirius hissed. "We still don't even know the Order found me-"
"Shut up Sirius," they all said at once.
  Sirius scowled at the lot of them. He didn't like to think of the alternative either, but them pretending it hadn't happened wasn't going to make it better.
Lily pulled at the only spot of good she could find in Remus' idea, "so that means the Order may still be nearby."
James didn't see how that was making her feel any better, as he forced himself to keep going with his stomach turned into such a tight knot he was confident it wasn't ever going to come loose.
Harry's insides plummeted sickeningly. They were trapped, and outnumbered two to one.
"How many were there?" Remus rasped. He'd stupidly been envisioning just Malfoy, maybe one or two others that could go in and out of the Ministry, but that meant there were at least a dozen!
When Harry whispered as much, nobody wanted to believe him. Moments before they'd been sure they were fixing to hear about Sirius dying in this black abyss of a place, now they were wondering how Harry had gotten out! If all of his friends had...
"Keep going James!" Lily hissed, smacking him on the arm hard.
"Right, yeah," he muttered, having to forcefully drag his eyes back to the print, his heart still thudding so hard in his chest he'd blame that on the reason for his stuttering words.
Harry instead demanded where Sirius was, and a harsh female voice laughed loudly, mocking him the Dark Lord always knows!
"That's not an answer," Lily said venomously.
"They aren't gloating they still have him," Remus clutched to this idea like a lifeline. "They're just screwing with Harry."
Malfoy echoed always.*
"No, he doesn't," James countered at once, all the times his son had beaten Voldemort hovering right in his mind's eye now, he'd find a way out of this for everyone.
Then he again repeated Potter give him that prophecy.
"Prophecy's," Sirius whispered, causing Harry to shake worse than ever as they all looked to him. "I knew I remembered something about those. My Aunt's mentioned them, the one who said she was a Seer. She told me about Prophecy's at the Ministry..."
"What do those have to do with anything?" Remus demanded faintly, he'd certainly never had a care for these types of things before one nearly ruined Sirius' life.
"She ah, went into rather great detail," Sirius struggled to explain while keeping a casual tone, growing harder by the word as chills were emanating from Harry more every second. "About, how they look, and the Ministry puts the initials on them of the Seer and who the Prophecy was spoken to, who it's for-"
"So this Prophecy was made for Dumbledore from, okay that could be anyone." Lily muttered as she remembered those initials.
"What makes you say Dumbledore?!" James put his hands up in frustration they were all talking around him and he just wanted to hear of Harry being out of there, to find out where Sirius was now!
"The initials," Lily repeated them. "Those are the initials to his full name, that's how he'd even know about this weapon Voldemort wants."
"Well those aren't Voldemort's real initials," Sirius pointed out for the other one, "and I wonder why there's a question mark on before Harry's name."
"No, but it's about Voldemort," Remus agreed. "If someone like your Aunt was the person who put it in there, I'm not surprised they referred to him as Dark Lord. Why's it lit up though, when others were darkened out?" Remus asked, deciding now it was relevant he may as well interrogate Sirius for all this.
"Best guess, those that have happened go dark, and those that have yet to, stay lit," Sirius offered, screwing his face up to think back to that nine year old chatting with spooky old Aunt Misapinoa who always wore a shroud around her face.
Lily wasn't aware her heart could go numb until the sensation coiled around her chest, the only thing really helping her understand the words, "so, what? This, thing, what kind of weapon is it? A Prophecy about Voldemort and Harry, and it was made before he was even born." She didn't regret putting her infant away from all this, but suddenly she wanted him right back in her arms now, wondering if Dumbledore knew this existed now, did you have to be there for a Prophecy to be put in the Department of Mysteries? Voldemort had known about it before that Death Eater that worked in there had given details. Was there someone in the Order watching it that even they didn't know about?
"This is insane," Sirius huffed, even the one who'd believed in Seer magic all his life was having a hard time wrapping his mind around this. "The last one we heard didn't exactly have a wealth of information, bloody hell it wasn't even talking about the person I thought it was. What does Voldemort think he's going to get out of this?"
"This is all fascinating," James said, still too high strung to really make himself sound like that as he told Sirius, "but you're pulling shit out of your arse, and I'd rather just hear about it away from there by now!"
Sirius huffed, he was only trying to help, but didn't stop James as he tried to keep going.**
Harry ignored this and snapped he wanted to know where Sirius was!
The same female mocked these words back at him.
Sirius blinked slowly, he had not heard mockery like that in many long years already...
The Death Eaters were so close now Harry's group couldn't have stuck a wand between them as the woman kept going in a mock baby voice that poor wittle Potter had been fwightened by a dweam he thought was tuoo.
James wasn't doing a very good job on that mocking voice, he'd never be able to mock his child for something like this, but even still, his voice didn't particularly come out like his own at the end.
"Does she really get some kind of glory from mocking him?" Remus tried to say in some kind of disgust, but it didn't come out quite right.
Lily couldn't speak, the ghastly pallor of her skin promised nothing coherent anyways.
Harry couldn't feel his own mouth, it was as if something else was speaking through him, "Hermione was right-"
"No she wasn't," Remus hissed, his eyes too bright. "It's not possible, Voldemort couldn't- he didn't know- how could she- how could anyone-"
"Moony-" Sirius tried to say, a look of dawning horror pushing fear for his own future into an even more unstable regards seeing as now he had no clue what was even real anymore.
"Later," James snarled at the both of them. His whole body was still shaking from the pounding of his heart, and whatever was the truth would have to be just that, later, he had to hear about his son living through this first.
Ron moved just slightly, but Harry softly warned him not yet.
This caused the woman to scream with mirthless laughter, demanding they all watch as Potter gave instructions to these children, as if they were actually going to fight.
"Damn straight." Sirius said with absolution. Whatever was going on here, Harry wasn't going to take that lying down, at least that was one solid thing he could get his head around.
Malfoy wasn't as amused as her, saying Bellatrix didn't know Potter as he did, he had a weakness for heroics, which the Dark Lord understood about him.
"Probably from the last time where he beat him in front of all of them!" Lily stated, trying to shift her weight into her own fighting stance and having to forcefully remember there were no Death Eaters in her living room now, threatening her family. She'd saved her son last time, but it had been Harry that had brought her and James there, he'd find a way out from this too.
Malfoy again demanded the Prophecy.
James gave not a second to spare that Sirius may have been right on what these things were, he didn't care about anything anymore unless it involved his son and friends running back out of there.
Harry ignored that again and insisted he knew Sirius was here, they had him!
The Death Eaters just laughed again, the woman hardest of all.
Malfoy insisted this was the real world, no dream of his, and if he didn't hand over that prophecy they were going to start using wands.
Harry egged them to do it, while ignoring his own mounting panic that he'd led his friends to their death for nothing.
"No Harry," Lily said at once, hating to cut James off now more than ever, but she wouldn't let him think this for a second. "You were only doing what you thought was right at the time, no one would ever-"
Harry couldn't hear the rest. He was sure there was more, but the moment she stopped he gave a jerky nod in whatever agreement that was supposed to be just so his dad would keep going.
Lily was not at all appeased, she knew by the fact his face didn't change one bit he hadn't heard her, but there would be time for him to hear here after he was out of there.
The Death Eaters did not move though, Malfoy still insisting it be handed over.
Harry just laughed, mocking back that he would and they'd let them all just skip off home then?
"Maybe even give you some pocket money for the journey," James sneered under his breath, unable to stop his own sharp tongue responding to such ludicrousy.
Bellatrix lost her patience and tried to summon it to her, but Harry blocked it with the Protego charm.
Angered, Bellatrix began another curse, but Malfoy stopped her, telling her not to smash it!
"They just gave an advantage," Remus said quietly, low under his breath like he was only trying to speak to those around him. Adrenaline was telling all of them to get ready for a right.
Harry hardly heard them, his mind racing fast for a way out of this, to make sure none of his friends paid a price for his stupidity.
Sirius leaned in protectively close to Harry, the urge burning to tell him just how not stupid this was, none of this was his fault, but Harry was still thinking of the more important issue at hand, keeping his wits, they could handle this issue later.
The woman removed her mask then, and Harry saw that Azkaban had hollowed out Bellatrix Lestrange's features, but her eyes were still alive with a fanatic glow.
Sirius snarled fiercely, as if all his hair would go on end if it could. He suddenly couldn't decide if it would even be better for that pathetic rat to be there instead, but that deranged being around his godson actually felt worse.
"That's one of the vermin who tormented Frank and Alice," Lily shrieked in outrage.
James muttered a desperate plea as if in prayer before managing to keep going no matter how much it strained his voice. His eyes burned so much it was a miracle he could still see the words, he couldn't believe it had somehow all come back to Harry being near that twisted being.
Her chest was heaving with anticipation as she tried the new tactic of suggesting they start torturing others instead until Potter gave that up, they'd start with the little girl, she'd do it herself.
"No!" Harry said that with such force, James actually stopped for a moment just to glance at him in concern. The flat, sharp word had promised death to the first person who so much as looked at Ginny the wrong way now, which James could honestly appreciate as he felt the same towards Lily, though he was sure it wasn't the exact same for Harry.
Harry stepped sideways so he was right in front of Ginny, the others too blocking her from sight and wands held up to their chest, the prophecy now the center of all them.
Remus shifted his weight restlessly even as he felt Harry was to be congratulated for putting himself in their line of fire. He had the object they so wanted, and was least likely to be killed of all those kids.
Harry tried stalling instead, asking what was so important about this thing? He couldn't think of anything else, he hoped the others were thinking of a way out of this, his mind was still blank with panic.
"Better than screaming panic," Lily assured, that was still half of her mind.
Bellatrix asked if he was jesting?
"Not really, no," Remus muttered, though even his own mouth wasn't registering to his own ears.
Harry said he wasn't, he wanted to know why Voldemort wanted this.
This caused the most outrage from the Death Eaters, Bellatrix shrieking he dare say that name with his half-blood's tongue!
"So is she saying pure-bloods could?" Sirius tried for a bland tone of voice in mocking back, though he'd never more felt the urge to simply slam a door shut on some member of his family's face.
He was ignored by James anyways, they'd never less cared about the taboo on Voldemort's name most people carried, especially his own followers. James wished Harry wouldn't choose now to provoke these Death Eaters even as he commended it on further keeping them off guard.
Harry recklessly shouted back Voldemort was just as much a half-blood.
"Are you mad!" Lily shrieked, watching her son and expecting him to drop dead any second now. "To tell that to them now!"
"I don't blame him," James frowned heavily at that even while wanting to clap him on the shoulder. "Piss them off well enough, they'll stop thinking, kids can make a run for it."
"Go big or go home," Remus said faintly, thinking of all the times for Harry to let his own mouth get away from him.
Harry told what he knew to taunt them, how his father had been a Muggle-
Bellatrix tried to shout Stupefy at him-
"You're lucky that's the curse she sent!" Sirius screeched in Harry's ear. He remembered his own times when he had showed even a little rebellion in questioning what Voldemort was doing, what his family would do to punish him for that. It was an actual miracle none had tried to draw Harry's blood for that comment alone.
Harry had winced and rubbed at his ear as he looked to Sirius, his right hand still trying to curl around nothing, like he had the prophecy clasped there now.
Malfoy blocked the spell for him though, bawling in her ear not to hit that prophecy!
Her spell went wild, and two little glass orbs fell from the shelves instead. The glass shattered, and foggy little figures appeared where the remnants still were, and began to speak.
"Well I guess we figured out how to work them," Sirius said faintly.
However, in the din of the two Death Eater's shouting at each other, not a word was heard from either of them, and then they vanished without a trace.
"Wonder if you even could repair that," Remus muttered, though honestly thinking not, these were such heavily magical objects he couldn't even begin to guess at, they seemed beyond such normal means of fixing as that charm. It would not at all surprise him if in fact those were now gone forever.
This gave Harry an idea, so that when Malfoy turned his attention back to Harry, he began again why this prophecy was so important, while moving as slowly as possible to find someone's foot with his own.
Malfoy told him to stop playing around, and Harry insisted he wasn't just as he found Hermione's toes, as a sharp gasp informed him.
Malfoy sneered that Dumbledore had never told Potter the reason he bore his scar was hidden in the bowels of the Department of Mysteries?
James' mouth opened with some new disturbing noise making an appearance, and he'd thought he was all out of those. They'd all known Dumbledore was holding back answers from Harry, he'd said so himself at the end of his first year. So this was somehow the most insulting thing Malfoy could have said, that he knew more about Harry than them!
Harry was so distracted by this, he at first forgot his plan as he demanded of Malfoy what of his scar?
Hermione insisted on keeping his attention though, and while Malfoy laughed in surprised delight, Harry hardly breathed the words smash shelves.
"That'll cause plenty of distraction," Remus said, so distracted himself they were right on the edge of that answer it had almost for a moment made him forget who was giving it.
Malfoy stated this explained why Potter hadn't come for this himself now, the Dark Lord had thought it's mere existence would draw him here.
Harry finished whispering to Hermione to wait for his signal and pass it along before quickly engaging Malfoy to keep his attention why he had to be the one to come get it, why not himself?
Malfoy looked incredulously delighted as he stated only those whom prophecies were about could retrieve them, something the Dark Lord had learned by trying to use others already.
Lily could feel it, the swills at the edge of her mind as an explanation for the madness of this year lay somewhere in there, if only she could think past her own harsh breaths for her son still being in this danger.
When asked why they even wanted a prophecy about him, Malfoy corrected about him and the Dark Lord, hadn't Potter ever wondered why Voldemort tried to kill him as a child?
'Every damn day since this started,' James felt the passing thought, honestly wishing now more than ever for that answer if it would somehow stop all this from happening...
Harry gazed at the slitted eye holes with something he'd never felt before, his hand tightening around the glass spun ball harder than ever, were those answers really in the palm of his hand?
James couldn't help but look to Harry desperately in that moment, like he was hoping his son would suddenly start telling them what had been inside, that all of this really hadn't been one humongous heart attack with nothing to show for it.
Harry was having a hard time looking at him though, he only felt like he was a burden of a reminder to them now more than ever. If he hadn't been born, this prophecy wouldn't have been made, they'd still be alive.
Still, as he felt Hermione show more than tell the others his plan, he asked why didn't Voldemort just come get it himself?
Bellatrix found this idea ridiculous, considering the Ministry was too busy chasing after her dear cousin, there was no need to bring to their attention of the Dark Lord's presence.
"Then why's she there?" Sirius spat hatefully, he couldn't believe Bellatrix would bring this up now. "It's no more implausible!" He wasn't going to let anyone insult Harry's intelligence, especially because they'd all been thinking the same thing.
"That is a relatively good question," Remus agreed in disgust, wondering at the planning to all this, how the Death Eaters had managed to infiltrate the Ministry and leave the area so clear for Harry and his friends to come. "Just not important right now Pads."
Sirius grumbled even as he agreed, several curses still flipping through his mind for the start of a fight he wasn't involved in.
Harry now understood this was just dirty work then, like Sturgis and Bode had failed to do.
"It is remarkable how fast you put that together," Lily praised even as she stayed trained on the book, on the answer of how badly this had gone wrong before he'd come here.
Malfoy began to congratulate that at least he wasn't unintelli-
Harry shouted now, and as one all six of them shouted reducto, and all spells managed to hit shelves and bring down the isles around them. Harry seized a handful of the nearest persons robes, dragging them along as he shouted to run while mayhem rained down.
Harry could feel that pulsing adrenaline thudding through him now, how even as his hand wanted to remain fastened tight around his wand he still wanted to grab the nearest person and make a run for it in all the chaos, his hand still around nothing though apparently convinced he was holding that precious spun glass now. It was helping nothing he had no good way to work that out of his system.
At least one Death Eater lunged forward to try and stop them, but Harry elbowed him in the face as Ginny, Ron, and Luna ran past, Harry keeping hold of Hermione who was in turn yelling at Neville to keep up through ever more glass shattering around them.
A hand caught him on the shoulder-
Lily inhaled so sharply it hurt her own throat, but that wouldn't have stopped the curse exploding half the living room if James hadn't kept going on the same breath.
but Hermione shouted Stupefy at the same instant and Harry was released. The other three were no longer in sight, but they turned right and ran ahead to the door they'd entered, blinking and finding themselves back in the time room. Hermione tuned on the spot and shouted Colloportus, and the door made an odd squelching noise as it sealed itself.
"I can't believe they got out of that," Remus sagged against the back of his seat, honestly needing the support as he couldn't make his own limbs stop shaking.
Harry hardly noticed, he was looking wildly around for the others, but Ginny, Ron, and Luna weren't in here as he'd thought.
"No," Harry gasped, the word not nearly enough to cover the terror pumping through him now.
James was honestly seized with that exact same fear for a moment. He had no true connection to the Weasley kids, had only known of Luna's existence because of his son, but he couldn't imagine anything happening to them either without wanting to shed an honest tear. These were just a bunch of kids with Death Eaters hounding them!
"Harry," Sirius said desperately, as his breaths had been coming out in sharp little gasps of pain. "Harry, they're going to be fine, all of them, you trained them!"
Harry looked to him in mostly disbelief, and a little hope. "You think I'm so good a teacher, I taught them enough to get away from Death Eaters!" His voice was very near shouting at the end, wanting Sirius to hear clearly how stupid he was being for this idea.
"They've gotten this far," Sirius reminded, his eyes wide and pleading, "so have you. No need to go hurting yourself if you've got confidence," he tried to actually end with a smile.
Harry still found his godfather insane, but for now he stopped pushing at his memories no matter how hard it was. At least he had Sirius with him now, as some consolation for not knowing his future. He didn't have Ron though, Ginny or Luna in his sights, some claim their lives weren't affected by him except these harrowing memories. He had to trust Sirius though, he had to let his dad keep going, he'd be no good to anyone if he died now simply trying to remember who lived.
Hermione squeaked they must have gone the wrong way, but Neville hissed at them to listen. Not moments later, something heavy slammed against the door, and heard Malfoy's voice telling Nott to leave him, the Dark Lord cared nothing for their injuries if they lost that prophecy.
"Really puts into perspective how much they all care for each other," Lily whispered, still wide eyed with far more fear for this than actual care for one of the monsters who'd caused the problem.
Then Malfoy began organizing them, telling them all to be gentle with Potter until they had that prophecy, but kill whomever else they could.
James's voice hitched for an extra moment. He hadn't been delusional in thinking otherwise, but the words sounded so careless he couldn't believe he'd let them pass his lips!
Bellatrix, Rodolphus, were to go left;
"So, go anywhere but left," Sirius hissed, still refusing to think of Harry anywhere near those two in particular.
Crabbe and Rabastan were to go right, Jugson and Dolohov straight go around, Macnair and Avery through this door here, Rookwood that way, and Mulciber was to come with him.
"So we now have a definite amount," Remus muttered, keeping a head count. "I doubt any are still hiding Malfoy doesn't know about."
"Eleven," James agreed, "where's Goyle?"
"Probably the one Nott was trying to rouse, likely knocked out," Lily murmured.
"Lets just hope he hasn't gone for backup," Sirius said dangerously, none of them able to quite grasp the emotion of relief one in particular wasn't there, they wouldn't know how to handle that feeling right now.
Hermione was trembling from head to foot as she asked what were they to do?
Hermione's question felt like a wet blanket smothering them all. They all wanted to scream what the right thing to do was, but that was impossible, there was no right answer here. They weren't there for Harry, all they could do was listen to what had been done.
Harry said first of all they weren't going to just stand around.
"Good a start as any," Remus muttered.
Harry made to go back to the door he was sure would lead back to the black anti-room, but then from behind the two Death Eater's continued trying to knock down the door. One had the idea to use the Alohomora charm, and the three only just had time to duck under some desks.
One Death Eater suggested they'd already run through this room, but the other said they were still to check under the desks.
Lily worried heavily at her lip, still trying to envision what the right move was, to run or ambush. As of now, they outnumbered the Death Eaters, so this was likely the best strategy, but it was all the more frustrating she couldn't offer the advice, she'd never felt more useless just sitting here and knowing it had already happened.
Harry watched the boots coming closer, ducking down under each desk, and waited until one was right in front of him before shouting Stupefy.
The red light had him falling backwards right towards the grandfather clock and knocking it over.
"That won't keep him down long, be sure you at least take his wand away before you keep going," Sirius couldn't help but caution, thinking the Order had better show up soon!
The second was turning towards Harry, but saw Hermione scrambling out from under her's first and began to shout Avada-
James almost couldn't get the spell out, more from shock than anything it was really going so far already, but then Harry was trying to jump to his feet in true alarm and Sirius had to rope his arm around him to keep him in place and hiss in his ear to listen for James to finish to know that didn't happen.
Harry tackled the man to the ground, causing the spell to go awry.
Harry could still hardly breathe for a moment, still fighting back the impulse to do the same in here with nothing to show for it, he was going to drive himself mad and was half tempted to ask someone to take his wand away in fear he'd curse one of them by mistake if this kept up!
None of the others seemed worried of this fact, Sirius loosened his hold on Harry even as they all still felt the same urge they were having to beat back. None of them had ever sat idle in a fight and this felt near as bad as doing just that.
Neville overturned his desk in his anxiety to help, and shouted Expelliarmus at the struggling two.
"That'll do some good!" Remus yelped, though he'd jerked hard in surprise of that spell coming out, not recommended as it would send both targets wands flying! He just couldn't find it in him to scold Neville either, at least he was still reacting and thinking on his feet.
Both wands went flying, and both wizards scrambled after them. Neville, horror struck at what he'd done, came forward and tried to repair his mistake telling Harry to get out of the way. Harry dodged to the side as Neville shouted stupefy.
James made a noise of approval even while he couldn't stop again, to know who got there first, at least Neville was correcting his mistake, he'd learn his way around a fight yet even if he'd still wish the poor kid never to be in one like this anymore than his own child.
The spell collided above rather than on the Death Eater, knocking over a glass-fronted cabinet and spilling it all forward, everything flying around and giving the Death Eater time to grab his wand.
His mask had slipped sideways during his and Harry's struggle so he couldn't see,
"A use for those I never thought of," Sirius spared the breath for Harry even as his every attention was still trained more on his past than his present.
and he ripped that free before beginning to shout stu-
Hermione got there first, her jet of red light catching him dead center.
"I'd have let Neville have another go," Remus said with disdain even as he was finally thankful Hermione was there as well.
"Which Death Eater was that?" James barked at Harry, hoping his son would recognize the scum that had actually tried to kill Hermione.
"Best guess, Crabbe, err, senior," Harry admitted, not having recognized him exactly, but the facial similarities had been there, though he had a distinct feeling they wouldn't remain for long...
He fell back suspended in his own body towards the bell jar, his wand falling as well back among the mess.
Sirius realized his advice before hadn't crossed Harry's mind either time, and it was something very twisted to him this was the first real scrum Harry had been in regarding the war, and he had no foreseeable backup!
Harry expected him to simply thunk against the glass and slide down, but instead his head went right through as if there were nothing in the way, everything above his shoulders now mixed in with the glittering wind.
"Err," Lily said without a touch of concern but some honest confusion.
"I could have said don't stick your face in that, but I guess he wasn't going to hear," Sirius said as he eyed that curiously.
"Don't care," James muttered, thinking whatever magic was in there could do whatever it pleased to that Death Eater and continuing more loudly still.
Hermione summoned Harry's wand and handed it back to him, but before they could do anything else Neville shouted a warning cry still staring at the bell jar.
"The stunner wouldn't have worn off that fast," Remus yelped.
"Who knows what kind of magic is in that thing, maybe it negated it," Sirius muttered uneasily.
Except the Death Eater was not rearing up for another attack, instead his head was deaging. His hair was retracting into him, his face smoothing out and while leaving the rest of his bodies proportions untouched, soon there was a tiny baby head in place.
"Oh, my, word." Lily managed to say as she sat back in her seat, just the thought of this happening to someone had her wanting to back away in surprise.
"There's karma somewhere in there," James muttered as he furiously flipped the page, his intrigue more than smothered by still wanting to haul his son out of there rather than investigating this thing.
Like the chicken before, even as they watched it began again, his head starting to grow back correctly, but as he tried to sit up and shake off the effects it started up again just as fast.
They were distracted from watching the progress by a crash in an adjacent room, and Harry at once shouted for his three missing friends.
The Death Eater managed to get his head free of the jar then, but his appearance was left bizarre, a bawling babies head atop the thick man body. His fists were waving about without intent, and Harry ducked to avoid a blow.
James was finding it harder and harder to brush past something so utterly disturbing to him, though he wasn't sure if he'd find it in himself to stick the Death Eater's head back in to repair it before knocking him out more effectively...
Harry raised his wand at the stumbling form, but Hermione seized him and told him he couldn't curse a baby.
"I, don't-" That was all Remus could get out. Somewhere in there was a fascinating turn of conversation, but honestly too much else was going on for him to get into it. James still had a twisted look on his face even as he kept going, maybe he could bring it up later with Harry.
Harry didn't argue, there were footsteps headed towards them, and Harry realized to late he should not have shouted and given away their position.
Harry was vaguely surprised no one had blamed him for that in here, but honestly it seemed because they would have done the same. Despite his own internal warning, nothing could stop someone for shouting now in all this mayhem.
Deciding to leave the baby-headed Death Eater for now,
Sirius still had his mouth half open, the urge to question how on earth that was a functioning moving thing still present, but James just didn't want to hear it from any of them. All he was really thinking was, two down.
they tried to hurry away, but two more Death Eaters were already coming in the door behind them, and instead they ducked into the nearest door holding what appeared to be nothing more than a cluttered office and slammed the door.
Hermione tried to use the colloportus spell again, but the door was thrown back before she had a chance and with a cry of triumph, both Death Eaters shouted Impedimenta.
Lily cursed heavily, knowing both of those using the spell at once would do far more damage than just temporarily slowing her child.
All three of them were thrown heavily off their feet, Neville flipping right over a desk, Hermione smashing into a bookcase which tipped all of its contents right over on her,
Sirius still had it somewhere in him to note irony in that even if he had no ability to laugh at it.
and Harry fell back into the stone wall with little lights bursting into his eyes, leaving him dizzy.
"Those idiots, they could have smashed the prophecy," Remus sneered through his own mounting worry they were going to make Harry lose his only advantage.
"Priorities Moony," Sirius grumbled, clearly misunderstanding, "I want to hear that too, but let's focus on Harry getting out first."
Remus didn't bother to correct his point.
One yelled for all to hear they'd caught them, but Hermione gathered herself first and shouted Silencio at him. The second Death Eater pushed him aside, but he could do no more before Harry shouted Petrificus Totalus at him and he fell back stiff as a board.
The first Death Eater wasn't done. Though still struck dumb, he made a slashing movement at Hermione, and a streak of purple flame went right through her chest.
Sirius choked, his arm fell fully away in surprise-
Hermione gave an oh of surprise before she crumpled to the floor.
"Cultrohexia-" Remus tried to begin explaining, recognizing that look on Harry's face and hoping to stop him panicking for just one second she wasn't dead, but too late.
"No!" Harry tore from his seat, but instead of their fears, he fled to the kitchen. They found him trying not to apprate, but kicking furiously at the table as he glared with fury up at the ceiling.
"Harry-"
"I have to go back!" Harry roared, not looking at any of them. "I can't, they can't- I have to get back there!"
"Harry listen to yourself!" Lily insisted as she tried darting around in front of him, but she may as well not have been there. "This happened to you when you were fifteen, you're older now, whatever happened you can't help them with that now-"
"Something was happening to them right- argh!"
"Harry! Oh, Harry-" Lily pleaded, kneeling down with him as he began sinking to the floor, holding his head again.
"We can't keep doing this," James said as he watched him curling into himself in pain while kneeling down on his other side and glaring at the book hatefully for causing all this. They never should have started these things, there had to be an easier way for Harry to regain his memories. "He's going to kill himself trying to remember what happened to them-"
"Then we'll stop him," Sirius snapped, striding over to get the potion and force him to relax again.
"Sirius."
The high note, pleading voice forced him to hesitate and glance back at him for a second.
The only thing stopping the thick fog from clearing Harry's mind and leaving the rest of his body in a state of pain that wasn't bearable, was somehow still his godfather. He still wanted more than anything the assurance his friends had survived this day, but Sirius was still here with him now, and no matter how much Harry had been pretending otherwise, there was something more pressing than memories he couldn't grasp. This was ridiculous, Sirius wasn't even there, how could he still be more worried about his godfather at this time? It wouldn't shake off though, clinging like a shield he'd had no intentions of putting up. One memory at a time, he had to know what happened to him first.
He couldn't breathe, this made no sense, so the instant Sirius was at his side with the vial, he took it gratefully, clinging to the numbness it brought even if it only lasted a few moments before he was brought back to his surroundings and forced to realize what he was doing to those around him.
"I'm sorry, I wish there was more we could do for you back then," Lily told him as she watched his green eyes flit back to any semblance of normal remembering all this could allow.
'Or, anything!' James mentally yelled, but kept that one to himself. Instead he helped him back to his feet, and it worried them all greatly Harry was still shaking. He wasn't finding any relief in here, with them, like he had when Voldemort had returned. As if his subconscious was still warning him there would be no relief, no savoir from his parents.
It did them no good to try anything else though but to keep going no matter how much they'd rather do anything else, at this point they knew they couldn't have stopped. They needed to know Hermione was okay just as much as Harry. For all of her, annoyances, she was Harry's friend as much as Sirius was theirs. They couldn't imagine anything happening to her now anymore than their own kid, it should have been to dismal for even this future to handle.
Harry fell to his knees beside her, screaming her name as Neville crawled out from behind his desk to see. The Death Eater kicked out at him, breaking his wand and connecting with his foot with the same blow and Neville backed out of sight again with a howl of pain.
Lily covered half of her face to smother her gasp of surprise, all to easily picturing that happening to Alice even more than Neville and the poor mothers reaction.
Harry twisted around and saw the Death Eater ripping off his mask, and Harry recognized him as Antonin Dolohov, the man who'd killed the Prewetts.
Harry let out a snarl of outrage, even as he kept tight to Sirius' side he couldn't help but glance uneasily around the room, that feeling like hot lava warning theirs would not be the only death the man was responsible for. 'Please, let it not be Hermione's!' He pleaded with everything he could.
Still keeping his wand trained on Harry now, he pointed at the prophecy, then himself, then Hermione, the meaning couldn't have been more plane.
"Oh good, Harry understands silent language far better than Sirius ever did," Remus babbled uneasily.
Harry snapped he'd be dead the moment he did so! He was all white panic, clinging to Hermione's shoulder which was still warm, so she wasn't dead yet! His voice mentally pleaded with her not to be dead, it would be his fault if she was!
"No, it's not!" Remus snapped. He hated watching Harry blame himself for these things, likely because he had too much practice with this himself if anything remotely went wrong around him. "That's a bloody dangerous spell, pure dark magic that'll leave your innards like they were plunged with a knife, but the spell doesn't leave any mark. If he hadn't been silenced, it would have been even more dangerous, but since it's a verbal only spell, half the damage was done. So long as she gets treated, she'll be fine!"
"And if she doesn't get help in time?" Harry whispered.
Remus had no answer, he didn't want to tell Harry that even the verbal spell wasn't instantaneous death because it left one slowly dying on the inside even as they were able to move around for a few minutes more while the spell took affect. Instead, he only said what they were all hoping, "she will."
Harry breathed slowly as he heard that, willing that feeling to be true more than just a simple hope.
Neville rose to his feet, broken wand in hand with blood pouring down his face as he shouted at Harry 'don'd gib it to him!'
James's face puckered in agitation for trying to talk like that, and under normal circumstances he would have reveled in plugging his nose, trying to mimic this as best he could. He'd hope it would go on long enough Sirius would try his hand at it, and the two could see who could mimic this speech the best. Now all he could think was, one against eight, considering he still had no clue where the last three kids were.
Neville tried to shoot a spell, but nothing was happening from his broken wand. Then there was a crash behind them as the baby-headed Death Eater came stumbling in, his wails still echoing all around, and Harry took Dolohov's distraction in watching to shout Petrificus Totalus. The spell hit, he toppled face forward unable to move an inch.
Seven, James mentally corrected, though the slowly dwindling number wasn't helping anyone to breathe any easier, they were all keeping the same count and even against one the numbers would never feel bearable no matter how good Harry was. He was only using the minimum spells of defense, there was no more force to this than he'd be using against a DA member, and that was going to bite him in the arse later when these spells simply wore off...
Harry at once turned attention back to Hermione, trying to get her to wake up, until Neville crawled forward and told him he could feel a pulse, he was sure of it, through his broken nose.
James felt his limbs go weak, actually closing his eyes for a moment for the simple thanks he felt for that!
Harry asked if he was sure, and Neville said he thought so.
Not remotely the most reassuring answer Neville could have given, but Harry finally stopped the feeling he was going to keel over himself as the image repainted before his eyes, her eyes closed almost peacefully, but he just couldn't tell if it was sleep or...
There was a pause as Harry listened for anymore noise, but all they could hear was the blunderings of the still standing baby-headed Death Eater crashing around.
"That's a thing now," Lily shook her head, not even remotely distracted from the real matter of what her son was living through.
Harry turned to Neville and asked if he could make his way out with Hermione, try to find help, but Neville refused, saying he was staying with Harry until they found everyone. Harry tried to protest, but Neville picked up Hermione's wand and said he'd carry her.
"No," Remus couldn't help but protest no matter how much he admired Neville for this. "He really should take off with her, he's only another target now following behind like that!"
"What if he does run into more Death Eater's though, then he won't have any way to defend himself, he needs to stick close to Harry," Sirius disagreed.
There was just no point in predicting the future, certainly no one ever would have seen this coming, so both mutually decided not to let the argument continue.
Harry only hesitated a moment before helping to lift Hermione over his shoulder and the two began to leave. Neville gave the broken remnants of his wand one look as he passed, whispering his Gran was going to kill him, that was his dad's old wand.
James made such a small little noise he wasn't even aware he had anymore than the others. He couldn't help it though, his mind immediately launched off with the idea, of what had happened to his wand, and Lily's, had Remus or Sirius ever come across them and still had them after all these years? He still had his parents wands stored in his Gringotts vault, mementos of them Harry still never had from his own!
Lily shook her head slowly for this though, whispering, "I'm positive the woman will just be more thankful her only grandchild's alive." She knew she could never give enough thanks for that hearing all he'd done without her in his life.
Harry cautiously stuck his head back into the Time room, watching the baby-head Death Eater still destroying the room while screaming,
"Please stop mentioning that, it gets more disturbing the longer I think about it," Remus huffed, though honestly he just wanted all of this to stop being mentioned already. After the year Harry had there, he couldn't believe he'd still rather hear of him back at Hogwarts.
while the glass-fronted cabinet that Harry now suspected had contained Time-Turners continued to fall, shatter and repair itself on the wall behind them.
"Err," Sirius muttered, his brows shooting up in shock.
"Wonder what on earth magic could be used to fix that," James agreed with surprise.
No one else in sight though, they finally made it to the dark anti-room where the door swung shut behind them and once again the whirl of doors started, except now when they stopped Hermione's x's had faded.
Harry began to ask which they should choose, but before they could make a decision, one on their right sprang open and three people fell out.
Lily felt a scream building up in her own throat. Despite having just soothed Harry from doing this, she was finding it harder every second not to be wailing her own head off with worry for all of this happening.
Harry at once darted to the Weasley siblings in relief, asking if they were alright.
"Oh bloody thank goodness," James moaned, feeling finally something had gone right, though he kept reading with heavy worry Luna hadn't been mentioned!
Ron seized him while giggling, lurching forward as he did so with his eyes unfocused.
"What's wrong with Ron?" Sirius hissed, feeling as territorial of all these kids at this point as if they were all his pup.
Even while giggling, his face was extremely white, and something dark was leaking out the side of his mouth. Then his knees gave out, and still holding onto Harry, he pulled him into a kind of half bow as he fell to the floor.
"What did they do to him?" Lily demanded venomously, her wand still griped furiously in her hand and aching to turn that on someone any moment for hurting these kids!
He tried to ask Ginny what had happened, but she was just as pale as she slid down to the floor, though she was holding her ankle in silent pain.
"Ginny," Harry whispered, leaning forward in concern like he was trying to catch her before she fell. He couldn't believe this was happening around him, the panic was gripping him so tight he couldn't breathe!
Luna, who alone seemed unscathed, said she thought Ginny's ankle had been broken,
"Oh thank Merlin!" James breathed, not having meant to say Luna's name extra loud but now at least they were all alive, and could get out of there!
four of them had chased them into some room full of planets-
Ron interrupted with a feeble snicker that they'd seen Uranus up close!
"A joke's never as funny the second time," Remus said flatly, trying to give Sirius an obvious look, but both were too worried about the state Ron was in to pay attention to even their own picking.
Then a bubble of blood came out the side of his mouth.
Harry hadn't thought it possible, but he was somehow all the more worried no one around him was trying to comfort him this was going to be okay anymore. No one had a suggestion what was wrong with Ron, or that the exit could be right behind them now that all six were together.
Luna kept talking Ginny had used the Reductor curse on Pluto right in a Death Eater's face,
"Hope it killed him," Lily spluttered in surprise for using that spell in anyone's face, but she wouldn't deny the effectiveness of anything right now.
but one had grabbed her ankle and she'd heard a snap, finishing with a hopeless wave at Ginny who was breathing shallowly.
Harry asked fearfully for Ron's status, who was still hanging from Harry's front.
It didn't feel possible, as James kept ushering out words practically faster than the others could follow, that it really was just Harry and Luna in able fighting condition against seven Death Eaters! Now their worry for Ron and Hermione were still rival, maybe even a little more than Harry as they could at least look at him and know he was alive and fine!
Luna didn't know, she'd never heard the curse used on him, but he was acting funny and she'd barely gotten him along.
Harry had heard all he needed. He asked Luna to help Ginny along, and though the blonde ducked down to assist,
Remus tried to breathe easier for just a second, trying to console himself Ginny could still fight even if she'd be far more off balance, this wasn't impossible to get out of.
Ginny snapped she could do it herself and pushed herself up the wall, though immediately collapsed again and had to hold Luna for support.
"Now's not the time to be proud," Lily snapped, wanting to shove the Gryffindor streak up Ginny's nose and get those kids moving no matter how much she may have acted the same.
Harry pulled Ron's arm over his shoulder just as, so many months ago, he had pulled Dudley's.
James could hardly think of anything else right now, let alone something like a dementor attack which would feel like a walk in the park after this nightmare, at least Harry could get himself out of that no problem, this still felt more like he was reading about someone's funeral any second. Yet at the same time, he understood it, found how much more precious and dangerous this was to Harry. He may feel it for a time if something had happened to Dudley, but now, Ron was the first family he'd had, he could not lose him any more than Sirius.
Then he looked desperately at the dozen of doors for the way out, but without taking a step three Death Eaters came pouring out of the door across from them led by Bellatrix Lestrange.
Sirius made a series of thunderous growling noises that kept starting and stopping, clearly his terror kept trying to break off how much he wanted to take her head off with or without a wand.
She shrieked what they'd found, back Harry backed his group into the nearest door and shouted colloportus.
A smash meant he'd done it in time, but then a man's voice shouted it didn't matter, there were other ways in.
James could feel his breaths stuttering out in sharp gasps, 'they're pinned down, they don't have a chance to run anymore-' his mind all to happily informed him.
'Shut up,' he fought hard not to shout out loud.
Harry began darting around to all available doors and repeating the spell, encouraging Luna to help, but they only made it half way through when she filled the room with a cry of pain.
James couldn't quite scream that as he could all to easily envision Luna, his voice was getting quieter the more this somehow continued to grow worse, fighting back the urge to vomit again the more his vision blurred from worry and still pushing past just to keep going.
Harry turned to see her smashing through a desk and colliding with a wall head first.
Bellatrix came sprinting in, shouting at all of them to get Potter. Harry tried to run out of the room, the prophecy held high over his head, his only thought to keep them away from the others.
Remus hated that was by all technicalities a good plan, Harry being the target because they could look at him and know he was okay, but putting himself in danger like that could never not stop all the air around him, and it's not like he knew that at the time so Harry was still going to hear about this later!
He found himself in the brain room, and Ron came tottering up to his side, still drunkenly laughing about how there were brains in here, and then he summoned one to him.
Lily made a squealing noise that was as much disgust as it was concern for this. "Luna didn't take away his wand!"
James ignored her no matter how much he agreed.
The scene seemed momentarily frozen. Harry, Ginny and Neville and each of the Death Eaters turned in spite of themselves,
"Yes, do please keep being idiots," Remus muttered, his own eyes feeling swollen from widening too much recently.
to watch a brain burst from the green liquid and come shooting right at Ron, ribbons appearing all around it to wrap around Ron who at first kept laughing, as Harry shouted at him to move while darting towards him.
James didn't need to ask why Harry had involuntarily shouted the same thing in here, why he was vibrating all over again in fear for his brother as much as he had been for his sister moments ago. They could all just feel it, this was not going to be a good thing.
Harry didn't know what would happen when that touched Ron, but he didn't want to find out, and didn't get the choice. The brain wrapped all along his forearm with the nasty dripping vines,
Harry tried to dart forward again, to tear the book away because his father wasn't going fast enough and he had to know right now what that thing was doing to Ron, but Sirius intervened faster this time. He caught Harry around the chest and held him fast, fearing if Harry stopped listening and tried to do this himself he'd hurt himself irreparably.
James had hardly hesitated upon Harry's movement, too involved in this himself.
and Ron at once began screaming in pain for it to stop. Harry tried to cut it away with the Diffendo spell, but it had no affect, and the tentacles kept spiraling farther up Ron's arm.
Ginny screamed that would suffocate him, but a stunner caught her in the chest and she fell to the floor unconscious.
Harry made a desperate noise, still struggling to get away from Sirius, but to where even he didn't know. It was too much, it all felt like a nightmare that wasn't ending, and still the worst hadn't happened, he could feel how hot his face was and how painful everything in him burned saying something terrible was going to happen, something that wasn't going to be just a spell.
Neville tried, waving his wand around and shouting stuebfy, but nothing happened.
Remus had never actually wanted to know what would happen if you try to use a stunning spell without pronouncing it correctly!
One of the Death Eaters tried stunning him, but Neville ducked by inches. Now it was only the two of them, against the five Death Eaters. One tried shooting a white blast at Harry that instead left a crater behind him when he ducked.
"Gah, how is that helping them not break the thing!" Sirius was feeling so incoherent he wasn't even sure if that was spoken in English.
Harry ran for it. His only thought in mind to get these Death Eaters away from his friends, he only hoped Neville would stay behind and help Ron as he finally darted out of the room with the prophecy clearly in sight and only held slight relief he could hear them all chasing him. Then his feet weren't below him anymore.
He was crashing down, hitting every steep stone step until he found himself sprawled below the dais in the stone arch room.
Harry placed his hand on his abused rib cage, still feeling the echo of that pain as it was vividly reminded to him, but that was nothing in comparison to the torment just behind his eyes. He had known from the moment he'd first been in this room it would not mean anything good for him, now he was standing more alone than ever. That should have been a good thing, there was no one in there to get hurt but him.
Hearing approach, he at once got to his feet and backed up so that he was now standing right in front of the veil as the Death Eaters circled below him, one bleeding rather badly, and Harry saw Dolohov had been freed of his Body-Bind Curse.
Lily bit back yet more curses for the fact they just had to be right about that, and yet she still found it in her to plead it wasn't important for Harry to learn a lesson there, she was hardly holding herself together listening to this, afterwards the worst thing she could stand to hear of him in again was Crookshanks attacking him.
Malfoy stepped forward, pulling off his mask to speak to Harry's face this race was done, now be a good boy and hand over that prophecy.
"Whoever said he wanted to be a good boy?" Sirius said distractedly, though James felt himself breathe easier just for a second at Sirius still managing to say his stupid jokes even in the face of all that. It was just a little easier picturing Sirius saying that to Lucius than ten wands pointed on his lone child.
Harry desperately bargained to let the others ago and he'd do just that.
Lucius just laughed, telling him he was not in the position to be making demands being surrounded as he was and all alone.
From above came the shout he wasn't alone!
Neville came racing down the steps from the brain room, still trying to use Hermione's wand to stun someone.
"I mean, credit to the kid, but I'm about to knock his lights out for not doing the smart thing and staying where he's useful! Ron needed him more than Harry did!" Remus half shouted half whispered, the unbearable scenario going through his head the Order had long since vanished and wouldn't realize something was wrong until it was too late...
Harry couldn't really be mad though, he was as touched as he was worried now, though he wouldn't have believed that possible moments ago.
Harry tried to shout at him to go back, but he was caught before he could do any such thing. Several Death Eaters laughed as he struggled to get away, Malfoy jeering at least Longbottom's grandmother would not find his death a shock, she was used to losing family to their cause.
It didn't feel real, James saying that with such anger he well could have murdered someone on the spot, but at the same time speaking as if about Neville. Sometimes Lily still couldn't believe there was anyone out there who would really do something like this no matter how many times she'd seen evidence herself of it happening.
Bellatrix perked up at his last name, mentioning she'd had the pleasure of meeting his parents.
"How dare she mock him for that!" Lily said, fury nearly beyond the words.
Neville shouted back he was aware, and then Bellatrix used Crucio on him.
James whispered, feeling as close to tears as if that were Sirius again, or Harry, or anyone he cared about. He could see Alice and Franks face, know their pain as one who'd been forced to hear his own child through that torment, and it killed something inside of him to force this upon yet another, to even hear about this!
Malfoy told Potter he'd let her continue until he gave up that prophecy, and despite Neville shouting at him not to, Harry made to step forward to do just that when another door swung open, and Kingsley, Tonks, Moody, Lupin, and Sirius came charging in.***
James only felt an instant of relief before Harry started screaming anew.
"No!" Harry hissed, his eyes burning with something they'd only seen once before. "No, no, no! Sirius isn't supposed to be there, he was only there because I was!"
Remus felt such a wave of vertigo he nearly fell right over. He couldn't help it, he remembered Harry screaming those exact words days ago when he'd thought Sirius was going to be Kissed.
Now, there was no Patronus charm to save him, only a luck and skill that would be tarnished after what he'd been through...
"Don't be stupid Harry," Sirius scoffed at such a reaction. "I can take care of myself just fine, did you really think I'd sit back if even for a second I heard what you'd gotten yourself up to!"
"But-"
"No," Sirius snapped with just as much force as Harry just had. "Don't want to hear it! You went out there for me, now I'm doing the same for you, you don't get to tell me what's right or wrong about that under any circumstances."
Harry could feel it, that hot burn telling him Hermione was right, he should have listened to her, because something unforgivable was going to happen now!
James, honestly agreed with Harry. They still didn't even know how Sirius was, how much damage Voldemort had done to him before he'd gotten away, now he was barreling right back into a fight! The idiot was going to get himself killed, as if they hadn't feared that enough recently! Yet at the same time he'd never been more grateful to his brother, he certainly understood why he was doing it for the exact same reason he would right now.
Distracted at once by the Orders arrival, Neville managed to get himself away and Harry ducked down beside him as duels erupted all around them. Harry asked how Ron was, and Neville only said he was still fighting that brain thing when he'd left.
"That's not remotely a helpful answer," Lily said faintly, far more concerned with that lot than her boys who she was well aware could take care of themselves. She could still picture Ron suffocating by the time Harry got back to him, Hermione dying from internal bleeding, who knew if something worse was happening to Ginny and Luna while no one was looking out for them!
The stone floor gained a crater inches beside them, chunks flying everywhere, and before either could duck away from more, an arm seized Harry by the throat and demanded the prophecy from him.
Through watering eyes Harry watched Sirius dueling with a Death Eater ten feet away, their wands not even visible from the speed of their spells,
James tried to find some comfort in that even as he shifted anxiously a bit more. Sirius was up and fighting, his ordeal with Voldemort hadn't seemed to leave any lasting harm if he was already dueling with the skill James knew so well, but perhaps he still would have been better suited to be getting Harry out of there! Then again, he probably wouldn't have even recognized Sirius if he heard he was trying to avoid a fight for even a second.
Kingsley was fighting two at once; Tonks, still halfway up the tiered seats, was firing spells down at Bellatrix - none seemed to realize Harry was slowly dying.
James nearly ripped the page out in frustration, this was so much worse than if he could have just been seeing this! He didn't understand why Harry hadn't mentioned Remus just now! It was of course possible he was just behind somewhere Harry couldn't see, but James was convinced he wasn't going to breathe again until he could finally leave this place altogether!
So Neville lunged forward and shoved Hermione's wand through the eye hole.
"There's thinking on your feet!" Remus said faintly.
Harry was released, and whirled around to use stupefy.
The Death Eater had only the time to remove his face and be recognized as Macnair with one eye swollen shut before he fell over.
"Hope he has to have that bloody removed," Sirius got out through gritted teeth, honestly wishing some things couldn't be magically fixed right now.
Harry thanked Neville as he kept watching Sirius still in the heat of his fight,
Sirius nodded in approval, still shifting restlessly as hearing it wasn't fighting off the urge he needed to be doing that now, but at least it seemed to put his friends at ease for a moment, hearing him still on his feet and dueling made it clear he wasn't irreparably injured from his ordeal.
then Harry's foot slipped and he nearly crashed to the ground from slipping on Moody's magical eye.
Lily did scream then, she couldn't help it. There weren't words anymore, only curses she couldn't hope to use, and pent up emotion she needed some way to vent.
Its owner was lying on his side, bleeding from the head,
James couldn't blame his wife, he was fighting off the urge to scream all this as well though it kept coming out more as a whisper. Not Moody! If he was already down, how well was that supposed to spell out for the others, now both of his brothers and his son were all in there!
and the one who'd done it, Dolohov, turned his attention on the two boys and shouted Tarantellgra.
Neville at once fell over, his feet doing a frenzied, uncontrolled movement.
Remus managed to find that a curse and a blessing, at least they were still only trying to immobilize the kids, he'd feared now that the Order had arrived they'd be trying more than ever to get that way from Harry by any means!
He turned on Harry and began the same slashing movement he'd used on Hermione,
James's heart stopped, it took every last drop of his willpower and forcing himself not to hear the other's cry of shock as he told;
but Harry was one second faster and managed Protego before the bright flame went for his face. He felt as if a blunt knife knocked him off his feet and he was thrown across Neville's jerking legs, but his Shield Charm had fielded the worst effects.
Harry wanted to breathe easier, now that he knew the spell could be blocked by something like a shield charm he felt Hermione's chances for survival went up, though he kept brushing his fingers against his face where he was sure he'd just escaped death again.
Dolohov instead tried to summon the prophecy to him, but then Sirius was there, ramming his shoulder into the Death Eater and knocking him off even as he kept his own duel up.
Lily was fighting back so many impulses in these moments, to cling her child to her, both his infant self and the adult, she wanted them both under her arms where she could secure their future right now. To stop James from continuing while also taking that and finishing this herself. To send a stream of curses and constantly reminding herself it would do no good. Now she wanted Remus and Sirius right behind her! She didn't care how good a fighters they were, there was no telling what condition both were in, and neither would consider themselves when jumping in front of those spells for those kids.
Dolohov tried to turn on Sirius's now unprotected back, bringing his wand up for the slashing spell another time,
"He really needs to stop with that!" Sirius snarled in disgust, his not so subtle rumbling growls growing louder every second as he wanted to rip this one's whole arm off for continuously trying to use that on his loved ones, even if he had no regrets taking this instead of Harry.
Harry was still faster though, using Petrificus Totalus on him again, and again the man's limbs all snapped together and he fell to the floor at the same time Sirius finally took his own down with a stunner.
Sirius turned to Harry, sparing the moment to congratulate him before telling him to- they both ducked at a green light passing over Sirius's head.
James couldn't help snarling in outrage, that flash of green suddenly all he could see for a moment, the light in Lily's eyes fading, the same color to take away Sirius by a breath!
Across the room, Tonks was falling limply down the stone steps while Bellatrix was laughing triumphantly.
Harry made a ragged noise as yet more people went down around him, because of him, and he tried to cling even tighter to Sirius now, his grip turning bruising as he held onto his arm.
Sirius only gave him an absent pat, shifting his weight so restlessly Harry could hardly keep a grip on him even as he acted like his life depended on it.
Sirius told Harry to take the prophecy, grab Neville and run while darting forward to meet Bellatrix.
Remus closed his eyes tight, hating to hear the echo of James' final words to his wife in that moment as surely that was just a coincidence, everything was going to be fine! He quickly snapped them back open to focus on Sirius and James, his friends, nothing was going to happen to them now.
Harry didn't see what happened next as Kingsley darted in the way fighting Rookwood, so he turned back to Neville and ducked yet another green blast.
The only thing stopping Lily from vomiting at the image was that it hadn't connected, it never would again, because this time she hadn't been there to stop it, so Harry would be safe from this.
Had Neville though? The Order? It would be an honest miracle if everyone came out of this unscathed...
Harry asked if Neville could stand, but his uncontrollable legs wouldn't allow this, so Harry instead told Neville to put his arm around Harry.
Sirius dislodged Harry from him again by running his hands through his hair frantically, he couldn't believe no one had ever taught Harry 'Finite' or that he was forgetting about the spell right now!
Neville did so, but it did nothing to help them get back up the steps, while out of nowhere someone tackled Harry from behind and jabbed their wand into his back demanding the prophecy from him.
'He's not going to get hurt, nothing happened to him' James kept chanting in his head, the only mantra he could use to make words keep coming out.
Harry recognized Malfoy's voice, so chose to toss the prophecy to Neville instead who only just caught it. While he'd been distracted watching it's progress, Harry turned his wand over his shoulder and shouted Impedimenta, and Malfoy was off of him again. When he turned to see, Sirius and Bellatrix were now on top of the dais dueling.
That wasn't working so well whenever James had to flip focus to one of his friends. Sirius finally got so agitated he jumped to his feet, moving swiftly across the room as if he were in a duel now, his body finally unable to remain immobile while Harry did the opposite. Now that Sirius was out of reach, he froze over, as if he could no longer hear or feel anything around him, he couldn't understand why Sirius had left him right now...
Malfoy had recovered and turned his wand back on Harry, but Lupin jumped between them first.
James couldn't help a pitiful noise of relief for just a moment, Remus hadn't been mentioned since he'd come storming in and in the back of his mind where Sirius and Harry weren't struggling to fight he'd feared something had happened to Moony the moment he'd come in. How soon was it to a full moon, had one just ended? He had no answer for the state he was fighting in anymore than Sirius, but he tried to give his mind an instant of relief Remus may have darted off to check on the other kids before running into this fray.
He shouted over his shoulder for Harry to round up the others and go,
"They're clearly trying!" Lily told him in a 'you're not helping voice!'
Remus looked terrified for a new kind of reason, like Lily was going to curse him next if he didn't do something useful soon.
before engaging Malfoy in a duel, and Harry did try.
He stuffed the prophecy into Neville's robes so they'd both have their arms to try and heave up the steep steps, but they only made it up two with heaving effort when Neville's robes ripped, the little glass ball fell free, and smashed back down below.
James made such a powerful noise his throat actually hurt, but he still didn't stop. He'd care about that later, they'd find some other way to hear that thing, he had to keep his priority and hear of his son out of there first!
Even as they watched a spectral figure floated out, unrecognizable in its astral form, but amidst the curses around them, not a word was heard before it too dissolved.
Sirius stamped his foot so hard in frustration he worried for a moment it was going to sink right through the floor, but it didn't stop his movement. He was thinking the exact same as the others, they'd just have to hunt down this Seer who'd given the prophecy, Merlin he'd go and hunt down his Aunt Misapinoa, speak to anyone in his family again for even the inkling of a clue on where to hear this thing, but that was later. They'd worry about that when Harry was safe again.
Neville began apologizing, but Harry said it didn't matter how, they still had to-
Neville's face suddenly looked transported as he shouted over Harry's shoulder, Dubbledore.
"Oh!" James felt such a head rush he nearly fell over in surprise.
"Thank Merlin, or Dumbledore or-" Remus cut himself off with a near hysterical giggle, their shaking of fright from before now more relieved than anything, those Death Eaters stood no chance now! Here they'd all been worried Voldemort might pop back in any moment, now the opposite had happened!
Their sincerity of everything was going to be okay now was so much, none noticed Harry wasn't joining in. Sirius least of all as he was now jumping around with excitement more than anything he could haul Harry out of there and finally something could go right.
Harry asked what?
"Broken nose or not, there's not a lot of translations for that word," Lily said, still high off her relief that her voice came out as wobbly as if she'd really started crying that everything was going to be okay now.
He turned and saw Dumbledore standing in the doorway, an electric energy seemed to pulse around him, and Harry at once knew they were saved.
Harry didn't feel that now. He searched for it, in the recesses of his memories, but there was no trace of such a powerful feeling except the numbing cold that was sapping everything from him, all his mind could focus on was watching Sirius, moving around with such excitement he looked like he was going to start dancing in here like he had been in such a more deadly situation all those years ago.
With one wave of his wand he seemed to catch all the Death Eater's as if in a giant fishing net, drawing them all tightly yet invisibly bound together, the only two left still fighting were Sirius and Bellatrix up on the dais; Sirius was laughing at her.
"I'm going to kill Dumbledore," Lily said with indulgent exasperation. He should have grabbed Bellatrix first if his goal was simply to round up these Death Eater's, why let Sirius continue goofing off as he clearly was now when he was the one who needed to get out of there the most before anyone else showed up.
He taunted she could do better than that as he ducked a red blast of light.
"Taunts to your last breath, I swear," Remus huffed, scowling lightly at the book and him alternatively. He hadn't personally ever dueled Bellatrix, but she wasn't one to be trifled with no matter how good Sirius was, she'd proved that in the few seconds she'd been around Harry and his friends.
She responded by managing to hit him in the chest with her next, and the laughter hadn't quite died from his face as his eyes widened with shock.
Sirius' expression was mocking that in here, Remus noticed as his head whipped to him so fast there was an uncomfortable snapping noise. Sirius was covering his chest and looking genuinely offended he'd been struck while that pompous smile was still in place.
James only half glanced up at him, his throat still raw and sore from all this frustration he had not the heart for telling his brother what a cocky idiot he was for getting caught. It bothered him most of all Harry hadn't noted what color that flash of light was that hit him, but the first he'd dodged had simply been a stunner, so likely it was just that again.
Harry released Neville and ran forward, watching as it seemed to take Sirius ages to fall backwards through the veil.
James froze, the whole room went still as four pairs of eyes just watched this act take place. It was eerie, Sirius found himself thinking as he went rigid, that animation finally ceasing in him as James kept going with a heavy twitch that Sirius wanted to brush off but couldn't find the words for.
Sirius did not reappear.
James's voice was taking on a rather hard edge, his eyes flat with disbelief. Of course he hadn't, his mind reasoned, he was stunned when he fell into that, someone just had to pull him back out!
Harry shouted for Sirius as he ran for the steps, but then Lupin caught him, holding him back.
Sirius started shaking then, so powerfully his wand fell from his limp fingers and his whole body went an unnatural color from shock. He didn't like that reaction! Why would Remus stop Harry instead of helping him!?
No matter how hard Harry fought to get away, how loudly he shouted, Lupin didn't let go, telling Harry Sirius was gone.
As if in slow motion, Harry's life tumbled from his hands and was left upon the ground while James moved.
For just a second, Harry watched it in real time. Sirius' knees buckled, and he fell back, but in that moment, James was there, catching him before he hit the ground.
"No..."
HPHPHPHP
  * Take that Snape! You weren't the first Death Eater to say that! ...I don't know why I cracked up laughing rereading the series and coming across this line, just thought I'd share the moment so you wouldn't hate me for one second.
** I know I'm calling for a bit of suspension of disbelief here with his Prophecy knowledge, which is rude of me considering I try to make sense of this story and now I'm doing the opposite, so putting this kind of information on Sirius is a bit of a long shot; but I can't help myself, I need some way to explain all this in fic, and Dumbledore does a meh job of it, and Sirius is the only one with any connections that could also claim to even just vaguely know about these things. Take heart I refused to do this for other things like the Horcruxes? Those'll be much more fun to watch them struggle along to understand, but the prophecies just tie back too well with the third book for me to pass up.
***I'll admit it here guys, the movie really had a much more bamf entrance for this. Sirius punching Lucius in the face really is an iconic moment.
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ollieofthebeholder · 4 years ago
Text
leaves too high to touch (roots to strong to fall): a TMA fanfic
Also on AO3. Chapter 1 on Tumblr here.
Chapter 2: Jon
“Tea, Jon?”
Jon looks up from the paperwork he’s studying to see Martin hovering in the doorway, mug in hands and looking even jumpier and more uncertain than usual. The thought of what did he mess up this time intersects with did something happen last night and means Jon isn’t sure what his expression is doing. He scans Martin’s face, looking for clues to what he might need to be worrying about. If he needs to be worrying, or worrying more than usual. He tries to hide it around the office, but he is concerned about Martin’s comfort and safety. He’s begun leaving less and less and it has very little to do with thinking he, personally, might be in danger (although the idea of Jane Prentiss following him home is not a pleasant one) and more to do with worrying about Martin being in the Archives alone. He says he’s fine, and for the most part seems normal, except the nerves, but Jon can’t help but be concerned. Especially since he’s still carrying a lingering sense of guilt from Martin’s reasoning for being in that basement in the first place. That he felt he needed to prove something to Jon…
Martin’s eyebrows draw together, just slightly, and the worry in his eyes amps up a bit, and Jon realizes abruptly that he’s waiting for an answer to his question. “Oh—ah—thank you, Martin. I appreciate that.”
Martin smiles, just a little, and comes over to set the mug on Jon’s desk. It’s sort of part of the ritual at this point. Usually, Jon is busy, so Martin brings him a cup of tea and sets it on the corner of his desk until he has time to drink it.
Today, though, he’s more or less at a stopping point, and he notices that Martin’s hand is shaking slightly, enough to set the tea sloshing in the cup.
“Here, careful, you’ll spill that in a moment.” Jon reaches up with both hands to take the mug from Martin, then sets it on the desk and studies his assistant. “Are you all right?”
“Fine! Fine, I’m fine, I’m—I’m fine.” Martin swallows. He has never looked less fine to Jon. “It’s just—I’m just—I’m fine.”
“Martin,” Jon says carefully. He rifles through several possible options. It could be lack of sleep making Martin shaky. It could be low blood sugar. It could be he has actually done something wrong with regards to his work and he’s afraid Jon will yell at him. It could be he opened the door and managed to let another animal in. It could just be the general atmosphere of the Archives getting to him. Jon doesn’t feel like playing Twenty Questions right then when a single direct one will suffice. “What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing, it’s just…” Martin worries at his lip for a moment. “I—I need to tell you something.”
“Go ahead.” Jon is still struggling for the balance between his natural personality and the front he put on when he was first appointed to his position—the one he meant to be professional and responsible but turned out more like grouchy asshole—and he’s not sure if his tone of voice comes out right or not.
Martin doesn’t say anything for a moment, and Jon is about to prompt him again when he suddenly blurts out, “I lied.”
Jon stills. He normally has to stop himself from fidgeting—twirling a pen in his fingers, worrying at the cuffs of his shirts, picking at scabs—constant small, nigh-unnoticeable movements that he does without even thinking about and fights any time there is another person present in his office. But at those two words, his entire body seems to seize up. His mind instantly goes to the statement he recorded, the one where he talked about being held hostage in his home for two weeks by what they all believe to be Jane Prentiss. If he lied about that…
No. No, it can’t be that. The worms are real and they are stalking the Institute. Sasha’s encounter with the being calling itself Michael lends more weight to Martin’s statement as well. And surely Martin wouldn’t still be staying in the Archives if he honestly didn’t have to. No story is worth selling that hard. But Jon can’t think of anything else Martin might have said lately that he would feel the need to confess to lying about, unless…
Jon suddenly realizes that Martin has continued talking and he has heard none of it. He holds up a hand to stop him. “Wait. Start over. You what?”
“Lied on my CV,” Martin repeats, and Jon becomes aware that his heart stopped only when it begins to beat again. “I don’t have a master’s in parapsychology. I don’t even have a degree. When I was seventeen, my mum was—she started getting sick, and I had to drop out of school and get a job. We needed the money. Nobody would hire me, and I started getting desperate, so—so I started lying on my applications. I got the interview with Elias and he hired me, but I don’t actually have the credentials I said I did. Most of my employment details are made up. I’m only twenty-eight.”
Martin says all of this in a rush, then falls silent, watching him nervously. Jon suspects that a proper boss would be irritated at best, angry at worst. That he ought to fire Martin immediately for dishonesty, or report him to Elias.
He doesn’t. He can’t. In the first place, the thought of actually firing anyone makes his stomach turn, and he always feels uncomfortable in Elias’s office, like a child being punished for something he can’t quite figure out what he did wrong. In the second place, he doesn’t want to fire Martin specifically, and right now he refuses to examine why.
Besides…there’s something impressive about a seventeen-year-old, even one over six feet tall, walking in off the street claiming to have a master’s degree in a relatively obscure and highly specialized subject and managing to sell it. And Martin’s been here eleven years now, which means that not only has he proven competent enough not to be fired before now, he’s gained enough experience to match the rest of them. Maybe even surpass them. Jon is conscious of a slight feeling of inadequacy, his own degree be damned.
He clears his throat. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”
“Because I thought you’d fire me?” Martin’s voice drifts to a slightly higher register, as it often does when he’s nervous.
No, not nervous. Scared. Martin is genuinely scared of what Jon might say or do to him. Jon finds himself instinctively wanting to get up and wrap Martin in a hug, which scares him. It’s another feeling he has no idea what to do with, or where it came from, and so tries to ruthlessly pack it away but only succeeds in shoving it into a mental cupboard like a child who spent the day reading instead of tidying his room like he promised and is now desperately trying to hide the mess before some grown-up comes in to inspect. It’s going to come tumbling out the minute someone touches the handle and he will still not have any idea how to deal with it other than panicked denial of having put it there in the first place.
“I’m not going to fire you,” he says instead, wrapping his hands around his mug of tea for something to do with them. It’s the same mug Martin always brings him tea in, the bone china one printed all over with cats, and Jon’s never been able to figure out how Martin knows he’s a cat person, since he’s never mentioned it and doesn’t own one at the moment. “Good Lord, Martin, you’ve been here eleven years. I think you know your way around the paranormal by now. If you’d told me you didn’t have the experience in academia…well, it certainly would have explained more than a few things.”
Martin’s cheeks turn pink, and he looks down at his shoes. “I know I’m not all that good at the job.”
“You’re…not up to the standards I’d expect from someone with eleven years’ experience and a master’s degree, certainly,” Jon says. He tries to moderate his tone so he doesn’t sound like he’s scolding. He isn’t. “But if I’d known you didn’t have that degree…I would have judged you a lot less harshly. You are a very good researcher, Sasha was right when she said that.”
The blush on Martin’s cheeks deepens, and he mumbles something that might be thanks. Jon decides to take it as such, and also takes a sip of tea to try and cut through the tangle of emotions inside him.
“Ask for help,” he says when he can trust himself to speak again. “If you need it. Tim and Sasha have the experience with academia you don’t, they’ll be more than happy to help you. And…if you’d rather do more of the filing and cataloging duties, the parts that are more like what you would have done in the library, than the researching…”
“I don’t mind researching. I really enjoy it. I just—I don’t always know what I’m doing, and I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have told you that a long time ago.” Martin takes a deep breath. “I—I’ll ask. I will. Thank you. And I’m sorry again.”
“Stop apologizing, Martin.” Jon realizes his tone might have come out a bit harsh and forces himself to soften his voice. “What’s done is done. But…yes. You’re still looking into Tom Haan, correct?”
“I—y-yeah, yeah.”
“Get Tim to help you with that. In fact, have him handle it today. I’d like you to go through the Archives for me and see if you can find anything that seems…relevant to our current situation.” Jon doesn’t know why the thought pops into his head, but it occurs to him that there might be more to the Jane Prentiss situation than he knows, that perhaps Martin can find something relevant. He has faith that if anyone can find it, it’s Martin, and he’s not sure where that certainty comes from. “Perhaps you can do the stapling for Sasha, if you have time?”
Martin hesitates. “Ah—is this a good time to tell you that you’re really not supposed to do that?”
“What, stapling?” Jon frowns.
“Yeah, you—I mean, if they were brass staples, maybe, or the Morel stainless steel ones, but the regular ones? They rust, you know? You’re not supposed to use metals that rust on documents you’re planning to keep permanently. It ruins them. I know you’re trying to record the statements and all, but especially the ones we have to do on the tapes, magnetic files can be corrupted…” Martin trails off, and he’s blushing harder than before.
Jon blinks at him. “I—I didn’t know that. Thank you, Martin, that’s…that’s helpful.”
He offers Martin a small smile, and Martin’s face turns so red Jon worries his hair might actually catch fire. “N-no problem. It’s—I mean, I’ve kind of been going around at night and taking the staples out sometimes, b-but I found a couple plastic paper clips in one of the drawers and I replaced them with those, so…”
“I’ll see about ordering some brass staples,” Jon promises. “I had no idea there were other kinds that weren’t meant for upholstery or surgery or some such. And—thank you again.”
Martin nods quickly. “I’ll go…see what I can find. And thank you. For—for not being mad at me.”
Jon gives a soft huff of laughter. “To tell the truth, Martin, I’m actually rather relieved.”
Martin offers Jon a shy smile, then backs out of his office, still blushing furiously. Jon takes another sip of his tea. It’s made, as usual, exactly the way he likes it.
He silences the part of him that wonders if that was how he liked it before Martin started making it that way and gets back to work.
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eryiss · 4 years ago
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Chapter Two - The Handyman
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Summary: Freed and Laxus live incredibly different lives. Freed is a corporate lawyer in the capital city, and Laxus works as a handyman in a countryside hotel. Despite their differences, their lives collide when Freed inherits a house in Laxus’ village, and hires him to make the derelict building liveable. But the closer they get, the more they seem to offer each other. [Fraxus Multi-Chapter]
This was written as my admission for Fraxus Day 2020, hosted by @fuckyeahfraxus​. This is the second chapter, and from now on it’ll be updated weekly. Hope you enjoy it.
You can read this under the cut, on Fanfiction, or on Archive of Our Own. You can find the chapter masterpost here.
Chapter Two – The Handyman
"Fucks sake. Fucking bitch."
"That's not the way to talk to a lady, Laxus. Damn."
"I ain't talkin' to a lady, I'm talking to this piece of shit."
With an angered huff, Laxus slammed down the screwdriver and allowed it to clatter against the small tray of tools. On the table was the industrial toaster that Laxus had been attempting to fix for the better half of the morning, with an only slightly warm piece of bread resting pitifully on the wire rack, practically mocking Laxus with its lack of any toast-like qualities. It was the sixth time that year that the machine had decided to work, and Laxus had grown to have a vendetta against the fucking thing.
But he wasn't going to let it win. He had singlehandedly fixed practically every electric device in Fairy Tail since becoming the handyman, and he would be damned if the fucking toaster was his downfall. He'd conquered faulty boilers, crappy wiring and, on one condition, a disgusting issue with sewage backup over the past year alone. A toaster was nothing.
"Just make your grandad buy a new one," Cana laughed as she walked further into the hotel's breakroom. "It's like twenty years old, probably only makes the bread darker because of an oil leak."
"I ain't getting it replaced," Laxus snapped, glaring at the open circuitry of the machine with probably too much hatred for what the situation deserved. "If it gets it replaced, then the fucking things knows that it's won."
"It's a toaster dude," Cana deadpanned.
"Don't give a shit," Laxus groaned, leaning back in the chair so the forelegs left the floor, resting his arms behind his head. "You meant to be working today?"
"Yeah. Apparently there's some big group coming for lunch and they need extra wait staff, so Gramps called me. And I'm working the bar later," Cana shrugged, taking out a chair and straddling it; because of course she did. "You?"
"Room seven had a flickering light, needed fixing," Laxus sighed. "Thought I might as well work on this thing while I'm here."
The blonde looked around the small room, eyes flittering towards the clock and sighing. He'd been drinking the night before and had it not been for his grandfather's seven AM phone call worrying about the supposed 'lawsuit waiting to happen' he would probably only just be getting out of bed after nursing a light hangover. He'd been able to wrangle a free breakfast from Mirajane, at least, but he would trade that in for his covers at that moment. At least when he was planning to feel sorry for himself about his hangover, he had something to do. Now he just had a day of nothing.
His work was fine, but inconsistent. He did any repairs that was needed at his grandfather's hotel, be that plumbing, electric work, or just helping out when it was understaffed. But Makarov kept a tight ship, and had good relationships with his staff so absences only happened when needed. So, Laxus was often left with little to do.
It was a nice problem to have, but Laxus didn't intend to be impartial.
This was the issue in living in a small town for all of your life, being forced to either thrive there or break free from it. He liked Magnolia, the area was beautiful and his childhood there had been good, but he was limited by living there. A degree in electrical engineering wasn't worth much when the only relevant job available was at a mechanics shop where he'd once bashed in the teeth of the owner's son. The miserable old bastard should have forgiven him by now; it'd been six years.
Which was why he was grateful for his grandfather giving him the job. He got to put his degree to use, even if on crappy toasters, and made a living. But it was a boring existence, and the reason why Laxus found himself on job searchers websites at least twice a week.
"You gonna eat that?" Cana asked, going towards the warmed but not toasted bread.
"No," Laxus furrowed his brows. "Are you?"
"I'm poor, man," Cana laughed, picking up the bread and eating it.
"I've seen the cupboard where you keep your booze, you ain't 'stealing warm. crappy bread poor' yet," Laxus deadpanned, and Cana laughed as she ate her bread; she didn't even put fucking butter on it. "And you get twice the number of tips than me when we work the bar together. Where's it going?"
"Booze cupboard," Cana grinned.
"You'll fuck up your kidneys, you know."
"I'll get an operation and replace 'em," Cana laughed, swallowing a bite of bread. "Speaking of being split open and things going inside, you fucked anyone lately?"
"Fuckin hell!" Laxus exclaimed, wide eyes darting towards the woman who was now openly laughing.
This was something that his friend brought up often, and as such she had lost all tact about it. The two of them were some of the only openly gay people in Magnolia – at least to their knowledge – and therefore had some annoying kinship when it came to their relationships. It had started as them both feeling sorry for themselves, as they had nobody to date. Somehow, it had devolved into a friendship where Cana felt perfectly comfortable talking about what Laxus was planning on doing, or had done, in his bed.
Worse still, Laxus didn't have the same opportunity to make fun of her. Cana was openly besotted with Mirajane, and had long since lost any shame about it. Cana could joke about Laxus falling in love with any man he saw, but Laxus couldn't do the same because they both knew Mirajane was the only woman for her.
Selfish asshole.
"You're gonna fuck all of hell? You must have more time on your hands," Cana laughed, and Laxus stood up with a groan. "Aw, come on man, don't leave."
"I'm gonna go see if one of the toilets needs to be unblocked," Laxus grunted, walking towards the door of the breakroom. "Seems more pleasant than talking t' you."
"Oh how you wound me, I think I might cry," Cana spoke in possibly the most sarcastic voice possible.
"Go suck on yer crushes clit," Laxus muttered.
"Had a good few dreams about that, my man," Cana grinned, before adding in a less teasing tone. "And Lisanna said she wants to talk to you later, so find her once you're done scrubbing the shitter," A smirk formed on her features again. "Maybe she wants to set you up with her brother. You'd be a hot ass couple."
"Fuck yourself."
"Imagine the carnage though. The two of ya could break beds faster than an over eager lumberjack."
Laxus didn't respond, and lifted his middle finger to the woman as he left the room.
~~~
There had been no toilets in need of being cleaned, thankfully, but Laxus had been able to keep himself busy for the morning. It had been mainly small and inconsequential jobs, such as removing leaves from the guttering before a build-up formed and checking that supply of complimentary soap wasn't running low, before he ended up back in the break room and working on the toaster.
It wasn't going well, and the patrons would have to deal with the break rooms single slice toaster for at least another day, but at least Cana was working the restaurant for the lunch shift rather than being there to annoy him. He hoped that the table was full of obnoxious people who didn't know what they wanted and refused to tip.
He gulped down half a can of Red Bull, and groaned as he fought the urge to check toaster prices online.
After cracking his back, he stood up and ran a hand through his hair. He quickly checked himself out in the mirror to make sure he looked presentable before leaving the break room; he may not be part of the service-staff, but he still needed to look good to represent the hotel. Normally he wouldn't have to worry about this – his contact with guests was limited – but if he was going to speak to Lisanna, as Cana had claimed he should, then it was almost definite that he'd be in the public eye for a few minutes at least. He didn't look too bad for someone who'd nearly vomited over a plate of cheese fries the night before.
Lisanna was working at the office attached to the front desk, doing some kind of admin that Laxus didn't care enough about to understand. He walked in and, once she looked up from the monitor, she grinned at him. Laxus didn't frown, but the urge was there. The two of them weren't particularly close.
"Hi," She greeted, annoyingly cheerfully. "I didn't know if Cana had passed on the message."
"Well, here I am," Laxus shrugged.
"There you are," She said with a smile, then waved towards one of the other desk chairs populating the cramped room. Laxus took a seat. "So, I've got something I thought you could help with. A proposition I guess."
Laxus paused for a moment. She wasn't actually going to try and set him up with Elfman, was she? That would be weird, Elfman wasn't Laxus' type.
"There's this guest, you see, who checked in yesterday," She began, before stopping herself. "No, that's not important. Well it is, but not right now," Laxus stayed quiet. Lisanna was a talkative person, and could probably have an entire conversation with herself. "You know Albion house, the old cottage on the outskirts of town that's' all run down."
"Yeah," Laxus nodded, confused. "Think I made up some crap about it being haunted when I was a kid."
"That's the place- that was you! Mirajane told me when I was eight and I had nightmare for weeks, you asshole," Lisanna chastised, and Laxus didn't hide the smirk at the admission. "Whatever, we can talk about that later. Anyway, it recently got a new owner, you see. And I was talking to him last night and a bit during breakfast. So he doesn't know what to do because he can't knock it down and sell the land, and the house is kind of crappy so nobody's actually gonna wanna pay any real money for it, right. So he's kinda stuck; I think he needs the money for something, I didn't wanna ask."
Did she talk to the guests this much?
This was why Laxus always booked into big corporate hotels whenever he stayed away.
"Getting off topic, sorry," She shook her head. "So, I was talking to the new owner, and he thought maybe he could get it sold for more money if it was more functional. Not a total refurbishment or anything, just making sure the lights work and the floorboards won't crumble underfoot. And he's not from the area, so he doesn't know any builders or plumbers or anyone he'll need."
She then stopped talking, and began grinning at Laxus expectantly. "And?"
"Really conforming to the stereotype of strong men being dumb," She muttered, and Laxus found himself happy that his ghost story had apparently given her nightmares. "And I said that we've got a kickass handyman working here part time who could probably help you out. I told him about all the stuff you do around here, and he said he'd be interested in meeting with you!"
"You got me a job interview?" Laxus said, taken aback slightly.
"Well, I don't think it's that formal, but kinda," She grinned. "I heard you're looking for a project to work on, and he said he's willing to pay you for your time if you're any good."
Laxus leant back in the chair, closing his eyes slightly. He didn't have a reputation for reacting particularly well to surprises, and this was rather a big one. Because a woman he barely actually knew had done something pretty damn big for him.
Working on property was something Laxus had been curious about, and it had seemed to be plausible for him. It was essentially what he was doing in the hotel, just on a larger scale and possibly with more of a challenge, which Laxus liked the sound of. There had been a few months where he'd watched house renovation shows when he could, to see if he could get a better understanding on how the field worked. He very quickly learned that, to do what he wanted, he needed the money to buy some run down property to renovate. Money which he didn't have, given he was a handyman working part time in a hotel.
So to have an opportunity given to him out of nowhere was a little overwhelming.
Because it could really help him out. He was more than qualified to modernise a house's inner workings, and was willing to put the work in. And if it went well, he would at worst end up with more experience, some extra money and perhaps a good reference he could give to some other housing developers. It could actually be really good.
Of course, that meant Laxus was immediately distrustful of the offer. Because things didn't just happen.
"So this guy is just gonna trust some random stranger?"
"I think he's kind of desperate, really," Lisanna laughed, a pitying expression on her face. "I think he wants to get out of here as quickly as he can, he's a city boy. But that doesn't matter. He seems like a nice man, and it's not like you can't do the work he wants. You might as well talk to him, see if it works out," She shrugged. "He's in the restaurant I think. I said I'd bring him over if you were interested."
"Erm," Laxus mumbled. "Fuck it, why not?"
The majority of the walk towards the restaurant was spent with Laxus trying to rationalise exactly what had just happened. He glanced at his reflection whenever he could, because if this was as much an opportunity as Lisanna seemed to think that it was, Laxus needed to make a good first impression.
When they walked into the restaurant, Lisanna seemed to scan the room before spotting the person she was looking for. She started to walk again and Laxus followed, eyes eventually settling on the man sitting at the window table.
He wasn't what Laxus expected.
Having expected a stuffy old man, in his fifties and balding, Laxus felt wrongfooted. The man was almost certainly a few years younger than Laxus. He had long and green hair, tied high in a ponytail. He was wearing a sharp looking suit that Laxus didn't recognise the brand of. His facial features were sharp and well structured, no doubt the rest of his body just as maintained under his clothing. As Laxus got closer he could smell a mix of some sharp and cool cologne, and the floral scent left by the clothes' steamers put in every room. When he looked up to Laxus he had sharp and inviting blue eyes, and a somewhat enigmatic expression.
Laxus might be inclined to call him a pretty boy, had his expression been a little less intense.
Just his type. Aesthetically, anyway.
"Mr Justine," Lisanna said in greeting. "How'd your lunch?"
"Very pleasant," The man said, glancing for a second to the chicken salad he was eating and then back to Laxus.
"This is the man I told you about, our handyman," Lisanna explained, nudging Laxus. The blonde stepped forward and offered his hand to shake. The man did so, with a firm grasp.
"Laxus," The blonde said. "It's nice to meet you, sir."
"You too," The man replied, and Laxus couldn't help but notice how smooth his voice was. But it wasn't the time, so he retracted his hand as the other man spoke. "I'm Freed, as you've perhaps been told. I expect your colleague has explained why I wish to speak with you?"
"The Albion House, right?" Laxus asked. "You got lumbered with the place and need help with the electrics."
"Essentially, yes," Freed nodded. "The only thing that's actually remained intact is the building's structure. The wiring, the plumbing, the heating system, and I'm sure there's a lot more that I'm not aware of that has also been destroyed. I wish to get the building to a point where it's functioning so I can sell it. It doesn't need to be nice to look at, just work. Is that something you think you can do?"
"Well, I'm good with all that shit- stuff," Laxus winced, glancing at the table, and missing the amused expression on Freed's face. "I've done a lot of work here, and in some other houses when they need it. Unless there's some really unusual crap, I should be fine."
"Take a seat, Mr Dreyar."
At the sudden request, Laxus found himself doing what he was told. He sat opposite Freed, and waited a little awkwardly while Freed ordered another tea for himself. He thought about telling him that Lisanna wasn't actually part of the wait-staff, but she smiled and said it'll be right out before retreating to the kitchen. He frowned as she walked away, only to quickly turn back and give him two thumbs up and a large smile. He almost rolled his eyes at the stupid action, but looked back to the man who might soon employ him.
"I think it's best we be honest with one another," Freed continued, and Laxus nodded slightly. "I have no interest nor practical skill when it comes to homeownership and renovations. I can learn, and I'm not an impractical man in general, but a lot of the work will be done by you."
"I can do that," Laxus said with a nod. "How would that work with the, erm… payment, if that ain't too forward?"
"No, that's fair," Freed said, pulling out his phone from his breast pocket. "I haven't had long to look into it, but I plan to pay you by the hour; I don't know how long it will take, so I thought that made more sense than a single payment. I'll clarify how much you get each hour when I find out the average pay a skilled workman gets. Of course we can debate this if you don't think it's fair, but I expect it'll be a good wage"
Laxus probably looked a bit stupid for a moment. He was expecting either a vague answer or a simple 'I'll pay you a grand and expect it to be done by the end of the month.' Not a lot of… legal sounding crap.
"That sounds good," Laxus said after a moment, nodding. "How bad's the house, if y' know? The outside ain't great but I'd like to know what I'm getting into."
"The outside is the best part, I'm afraid," Freed chuckled a little bitterly, and Laxus glanced up at his face again. On his handsome features – and damn, up close they were pretty handsome – there were slight lines of worry beside his eyes. "I didn't take many pictures as I wasn't in the best of moods, but this is fairly reflective of the entire place."
Freed flicked on his phone a few times, and then showed his screen to Laxus. It took a few seconds for Laxus to actually understand what that was, and when he did he let out an almost impressed sigh and leant back in his chair.
"That's the circuit box?" He laughed, and Freed nodded. "It looks like…"
"It had a violent orgy with a jackhammer, baseball bat and a box of explosives?" Freed completed, and Laxus let out a short bark of laughter, shocking himself.
"Fuck, sorry. I shouldn't laugh," Laxus winced, though he was grinning. When he glanced towards Freed again, he openly saw him smirking at him. If nothing else, at least this proved his boss had a sense of humour. "I didn't expect it, sorry. It does look pretty bad though, if the rest of the house is like that then it's probably gonna take a while to get the place in a liveable state."
"I assumed as much," Freed said with a sigh. "I only intend to stay here for a week, I should clarify. My office may allow me to extend that for another week. I'm hoping that, by then, you'll have begun work and can do so without me. I'll keep in regular contact of course, but I won't be here in person often."
"That's okay. I can deal with that," Laxus nodded as he spoke. He liked working alone. "What do you do, if you don't mind me askin'?"
"I'm a lawyer," Freed waved his hand as he returned his phone to his jacket pocket.
"Fuck. That's pretty-" Hot. "Impressive."
"Thank you," Freed nodded a little. "I don't mean to be abrupt, but I've got to clear some details up with my office, so I'll have to leave you," He pulled a small piece of paper from his pocket. "Here's my card, call me in the evening. We'll discuss things further then. Good day, Laxus."
"Yeah," Laxus nodded. "Speak later."
Freed nodded, and left the restaurant. Laxus allowed his eyes to trail over his retreating figure, roaming over his broad shoulders to his taut waist, then, for a split-second, to his ass. He glanced away, only to see Cana watching him with a judgmental, shit-eating grin.
"I'm gonna fix the fucking toaster," Laxus muttered with a slight blush, standing abruptly. Cana kept smirking. "Fuck off."
21 notes · View notes
raineydaywrites · 4 years ago
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take the big hits
ao3 link in the source!
Summary: Febuwhump day 5: "Take me instead."
There was a reason that Magnus had, thus far, at least, died the most often out of everyone on the ship.
He could take a lot of damage that the rest of them couldn't handle as easily, but he certainly wasn't indestructible. And the knowledge that he would wake up at the start of the next cycle if he died really only made his self-sacrificial tendencies even worse.
There was a reason that Magnus had, thus far, at least, died the most often out of everyone on the ship.
He could take a lot of damage that the rest of them couldn't handle as easily, but he certainly wasn't indestructible. And the knowledge that he would wake up at the start of the next cycle if he died really only made his self-sacrificial tendencies even worse.
And the rest of the crew was sick of it.
They loved Magnus, and hated when he was gone. They didn't like to see him suffering or hurt, and it was starting to seem like he was going to get badly injured or killed every cycle.
They'd lost Magnus early last cycle, when they'd been ambushed by a group of people from a region other than the one they'd found the Light in. They'd communicated with the leaders of the region where they found the Light, and gotten an agreement to bring it back to the Starblaster, but apparently that information had gotten leaked somehow, and it turned out that the other regions didn't feel that they should be left out of that decision.
It would have been easier to communicate with the other region earlier and explain their reasoning for taking the Light, but instead they'd had a tense stand off between the crew and the plane's natives.
Eventually, they managed to convince the natives that it was in the best interest of everyone for them to take the Light back to the Starblaster, but the natives had groused at the idea of losing out on the knowledge they could gain from the Light.
When it had started to look as though they might decide to attack and keep the Light for themselves despite everything, Magnus had intervened.
See, the thing about Magnus is that he understands people. He's a charmer and he likes to be social and he worries about everyone. And a large part of that empathy and extroversion comes from understanding what people want and what they've been through. What motivates them.
He figured out what motivated the natives and offered it to them before any of the rest of them could protest.
"Take me instead," he'd offered, to the confusion of the other crew members. Why would the natives want Magnus?
But the fact of the matter was that the natives weren't fools. They understood that something unusual was happening, and they were unwilling to risk the idea that the IPRE crew were lying about the importance of the Light leaving this plane.
They didn't really want to keep the Light itself after that. They just wanted something to sweeten the pot before they let the rest of them go.
And the chance to study a real live alien was a sufficient sweetener to these scientifically minded monsters.
When they'd understood Mangus' offer, the crew protested, of course, but they were not standing in a safe spot. And the longer they argued, the more they risked the lives of the rest of them, and the opportunity to bring the Light back to the ship and escape at the end of the year.
In the end, Captain Davenport made the call to retreat. It broke his heart to leave Magnus to the devices of these beings, but it wasn't worst the risk that they would decide not to believe them about the Light, or to decide to look for a different way to preserve their world from the Hunger that didn't require the crew of the Starblaster.
They'd communicated with the leaders of the region they'd found the Light in, hoping for help in retrieving Magnus, which they did receive, but by the time they worked through all the legalities and diplomatic necessities, he'd already been killed.
There was nothing to do but grieve and wait for the next cycle to begin.
-
Magnus was greeted with a round of very enthusiastic hugs when he reformed.
"Hi guys!" he said, smiling brightly at the rest of them. It had been a rough cycle from his perspective, and he was so glad to see his family and to be out of that situation.
He was a little concerned about how upset and angry everyone looked past their enthusiasm at seeing him again.
Lucretia was clinging tightly to his side, so he leaned down to her and spoke.
"What's wrong?"
Lucretia gave him a shocked look, and said nothing, glancing around to the rest of the crew as if asking what she was supposed to say to that.
"You fuckin' left us, is what's wrong!" Taako said, extricating himself from the hug to punch Magnus in the shoulder. Even after getting out of the hug, though, he didn't go far, hovering nearby but safely out of hug range.
"I- I had to do something. I knew I'd be okay," Magnus said, uncertain why they were all taking this so badly. Sure, it had sucked, but he'd gotten through it. And everything was fine now.
"You didn't have to do that. We could have found another solution," Captain Davenport said, sternly, but Magnus could see that he was worried behind it. He'd participated in the group hug for even less time than Taako, but that was okay. They were still working on getting him to let go of his shell of professionalism, and it had made Magnus happy that he'd joined the hug at all.
"I know it wasn't the best plan, but we didn't have a lot of time to find a better one," Magnus argued, a tiny bit annoyed at the stern tone that he was being met with. "I knew the risks and I was willing to take them."
"You can't just throw yourself in danger without even telling us what you're thinking," Davenport admonished.
"I'm the security officer. It's my job to do that," Magnus retorted, and now the hug was starting to break up in light of the argument. Magnus missed it, but he was too upset to let go of the fight. He knew that he was young for this position, and that everyone else on the crew save Lucretia was years and years older than him, but that didn't mean that they could treat him like a child.
"What kind of security officer leaves a bunch of magic users to defend ourselves for a year, huh?" Taako said. "Not a very good one."
Magnus felt a little taken aback by the words, and shrunk in on himself a little.
"I have to protect you guys," he said. "I don't try to die early, but sometimes-"
"You don't always get a choice, I get that," Lup interjected, "but Taako has a point. You want to protect us, but you can't do that when you get yourself killed and leave us without you."
"And you had a choice this time, buddy," Barry said, softly. "You offered to go with them, even though you knew what would happen."
"You guys don't need me that much," Magnus argued. "I'm good and everything, but you have offensive spells. And Merle and Barry can fight alright, if they gotta."
"Of course we need you Magnus! We need everyone. But we also just like you and like having you around," Lup said. "You're a lot of fun, big guy."
"But I'm not as important as the rest of you," Magnus said.
Everyone else stilled, and he wasn't quite sure why.
"What's that supposed to mean, bud?" Merle asked, his tone as careful as he was capable of.
"I can't help with the engine or studying the Light or the science stuff. But I can protect people. That's the- I mean, I'm good at other stuff yeah, but that's the thing that's relevant to the mission. The rest of you- I mean, like I said, Merle and Barry can fight, but Merle is a healer too, and Barry knows the engine and the science. Nobody else can take over those jobs as easily as they can take over mine," Magnus explained. It seemed pretty obvious to him. He wasn't trying to be self-deprecating or anything, it was just about the relevance of their individual skill sets. His skills were largely less useful than the rest of them.
"Magnus-" Merle said, in a extremely soft tone, but he couldn't seem to figure out what to say and he stopped talking.
No one else really seemed to know either, and the room went very quiet, until Lucretia broke the silence.
"What about me? I'm just the chronicler, and there's no one to record the mission for anymore. I'm even less useful than you. Should I start sacrificing myself at the drop of a hat?" she asked.
"No!" Magnus said, horrified that she'd even ask it. "That's not what I meant!"
"Then why is it okay for you?" Lucretia demanded.
"It's my job-" Magnus started.
"No, it isn't. Your job description does not ask you to get killed for us," Davenport said, body tense and tail twitching angrily.
"Security officers do accept certain risks, though! And this mission has even more of them than more security jobs!" Magnus said.
"This mission has gone completely ass-over-tea-kettle, my dude. I don't think your job title really matters that much anymore," Taako said.
"But my job still does! You guys do!" Magnus responded. They had to understand. He wasn't trying to be reckless, just practical.
"So do you," Barry said. "We missed you."
"We aren't asking you to stop doing your job, Magnus. We just want you to be more careful," Davenport said, stepping closer and giving Magnus a quick hug. "Please take care of yourself too."
Magnus melted into the embrace, and, seeing the reaction, the rest of them rejoined the hug, even Taako, offering whatever comfort they could.
"Last cycle was some real bad shit, guys," Magnus finally said, quietly. "Did not like it. Do not recommend."
"It's okay, buddy. You're safe now," Merle offered.
Magnus let himself drop to the floor, and the rest of them followed. He let himself think about all the awful shit he'd been going through, and he didn't try to stop the tears that fell after that.
Surrounded by his family, he let himself break. He was safe. He was loved. It was going to be okay.
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