#but no we’ve gotta do the fucking infighting thing apparently

[trans-androgyne]

I’m so exhausted. Literally, genuinely, all I want here is for my experiences of oppression to be recognized instead of minimized. Which is exactly what’s being done when you try to tell me “it’s just transphobia.” No the fuck it’s not! Is transmisogyny just transphobia?Is exorsexism? Why is it okay for everyone but us to talk about the way they’re oppressed in their own community without being called a fucking transmisogynist for it?

I was holding onto hope that if I was just polite & welcoming & helpful enough to anti-transandrophobia transfem folks they’d maybe take a minute to understand why I don’t think the word is evil, but apparently not. Instead I just got called transmisogynistic again just for saying the word transandrophobia. Nobody’s ever listened to me about this shit before, why would I expect anyone to now I guess.

[distrustedace]

“Apparently Virgil is a better actor than Roman. Who knew?”

AN: I want to make this into a series but its is going to be shorter then the Janus series. Also it might be a little messy since I am improvising the storyline. I hope this isn't a complete and utter disaster. 

“Apparently, Virgil is a better actor than Roman. Who knew?”

Roman found out that his newest lead is going to be a boy. And honestly, he was so excited! Finally, some gay representation in musicals. And this time, Roman knew it was going to be a totally new experience. Yes, the heathers will be girls as always, mostly because the heathers are too iconic to have a gender change. But, the newbie is going to play “Veronica” who’s name change is going to be Verona. Roman, on the other hand, is going to play JD. He wasn’t thrilled about playing a sociopathic kid with daddy issues but he got used to the fact that he had to play the villain. Besides, what's a story without the main antagonist?

Roman strode into the theatre to attend the rehearsals. He didn’t know who got casted for Verona since he missed the auditions for the other character , and completely forgot to check the list of people who got in. So on top of that, Roman was ready to be pleasantly surprised upon seeing his Co star. He suddenly heard a low tone speaking a line out of the musical , “and there is Heather Chandler, head cheerleader and main leader in the trio. And she is a mythic bitch.” Roman, upon hearing that line, immediately knew that his co-star is the greatest fit for Verona, he was instantly thrilled to be working with him. He looked up and saw.. Virgil?

“Wow, I never knew Virgil was the theatre kid.” Roman muttered. He was more than pleasantly surprised at Virgil’s acting skills. His tone of voice was authentic, he stayed on point, saying the words verbatim without the script and…. He looked the part. Especially the emotional aspect, Roman was excited to see that Virgil was better at conveying emotions then he is. It gives him some competition and a fresh new perspective in the world of acting. Roman smiled to himself, “Well, this is going to be a new experience.” He thought.

Virgil, actually felt like a human while playing the part of a fictional character. He wasn’t really antiquated with his emotions. Heck he doesn’t know how anger , fear, happiness or sadness felt like since he barely felt them. The only reason he got into theatre in the first place was because he seemed to only feel them, while playing a fictional character. He hoped to gain a full understanding of his emotions. Sure, he stopped acting by 7th grade in middle school, but he picked it up so he can have a “fun past time.” as his father put it. It was pleasantly enjoyable for him. But his main concern was if Roman would be willing to work with him. He knew that some of the rumors paint Roman to be a massive diva. Of course Virgil wasn’t sold on most of the rumors he heard of in his school, but it gives him small suspicion about Roman. He heard the door open and close and looked up to see Roman. Who was neatly dressed. He had his signature haircut which was combed to the right and gelled. He was always wearing a red jacket with a royal emblem on his chest. It indicated to him that Roman has already committed to pursue a degree in acting in the Chamberlin university, all the way in London , England.

“Ay, it's my greatest star, Roman. How was your day, busy?” the director said.

“Eh, not too busy. You know me, I always get my work done on time.” Roman responded. Virgil noticed the easy tone of his voice. He wondered if someday he can be as calm as Roman. But he was relieved that Roman might be open to working with Virgil. Virgil wanted to make sure he avoids any type of confrontation with his crew members. Infighting within a group can only lead to disaster.

I stepped up to the stage to finally talk to Virgil. “Hello, my name is Roman, and I will be playing the part of JD. Nice to meet you, Virgil, I have heard of you around school.” I said as I headed out.

Virgil gave me an firm hand shake before saying, “

It is nice to meet you too, Roman. I am relieved to have a kind person to be the lead of the show. I wonder, how did you  hear of me?” Virgil asked.

“Well, I guess you’re well known for your literary skills. Especially your narrative writing. I am quite impressed by your newest story.” I admitted.

“Oh, I didn’t peg you as the type to read stories like mine. Sometimes they can be too dark for a lot of people. Thank you for reading my stories.” He replied.

Virgil seemed monotonous, but I knew he meant well. I felt excited to work with him.

“Alright, so I assume that you already know the whole script. So, let's skip to rehearsing the “meant to be” number. I want to see how well you can convey Verona’s emotions.” I said

“All is forgiven baby! Come on get dressed. You’re my date to the pep rally  tonight!” I recited, with a low but slightly manic tone. As to establish JD’s mental state in the beginning of the song. I needed to convey that JD feels manic, and morbidly happy, but also had to mask his depressed and angry state.

“What! Why?” Virgil recited with a seemingly calm but anxious tone. That was really

Good considering his first line.

“Our classmates thought they were signing a petition! You gotta come out and see what

they really signed.” I recited, making sure to convey madness in the last part of the quote.

“You chucked me out like I was trash. For that you should be dead!” I sang, pausing a little before saying, “ but,but ,but!”

“Then it hit me like a flash. What if high school went away instead!”

I sang, making sure to enunciate the last sentence to seem like JD is slowly spiraling down to insanity. I remind myself to convey the song in a rebellious tone but to have undertones of morbidity.

“Those assholes are the key,” I belted out, before saying, “They’re keeping you away

from me.”

i announciated since the key words needed to be known to the audience. I wanted to show an obsessive side to JD. Since that is his main character trait.

“They made you blind, messed up your mind, but I can set you free!”

I sang out, I growled when I said  “messed” to show a small snippet of JD’s rage. As I did that, I made sure to build up the tone of the quote, starting from a normal tone, to an angry tone and then ending off with an easy, calm emotion. I also swiped my hand out while saying messed, to show how mad JD gets when he mentions what happened in the highschool .

“You left me and I fell apart for that you should be dead,”I said, while trying to convey a mix of sadness and anger. I hope I executed that correctly.

“I punched the wall instead, BAM BAM BAM!” I bellowed, wanting to show the pure anger dripping from JD’s quote.

“Then I found you fell apart, and set lose all  that truthful shit instead!”I sang out, while chuckling during the truthful part of the quote. I was taking a little artistic liberty with that. I wanted to show how JD is trying to put apart his anger with some humor.

“And so I built a bomb. Tonight,are school is vietnam.Lets guarantee they never see their senior prom.” I finally sang, I loved this quote since it gives me so many creative freedoms. I growled and sang a light but firm tone. After ending with a joyous high note. I noticed that virgil dropped at his knees, shakenly holding his torso with his right hand and covering his mouth with his left hand. Like he was stifling his sobs. I can hear his quiet whimpers. I almost faltered, I was convinced for a moment that Virgil was actually crying. I actually saw slight tears flowing from his eyes. That was an intense add on to the song.And it is magnificent.

“I was meant to be yours, We were meant to be one, Don’t give up on me now,Finish what we’ve begun, I was meant to be yours”

I sang the whole verse, doing the same thing as I did before but trying to improve the emotional appeal bit by bit to build up to the climax.

“We the students of westerburg high, will die!” *gasp!* “Our burnt bodies may finally get through, to you.” *oh-oh god!* “Your society churns out slaves and blanks, no thanks.” *whimper* “Signed the students of westerburg high. GOODBYE!” I ended with a manic tone. Virgil’s head snapped up while I said goodbye. His eyes were wide, his mouth was tightly frowning and tears were still flowing down his face. I instantly felt horrible after saying that. I know full well that this is just a simple rehearsal but, I am honestly worried for virgil. And if he gets me, worried for him. Then I know that I am dealing with serious competition.

After singing the next few verses I got ready to sing the climax to the song. I hope to god I get this right. One flaw of mine was expressing grief and anxiety. Something that can be Virgil’s biggest strength.

“Verona, open the, open the door please, Verona open the door!” I cautiously but anxiously said. I actually felt like trying to get Virgil to look at me.

“Verona can we not fight any more please, can we not fight any more!” I sang, making sure my voice wavered a little bit. I’m actually feeling apologetic. This is the first time I ever felt the way I am acting. I am both confused but excited to use this to my advantage.

“Verona sure you’re scared I’ve been there, I can set you free! Verona Don't make me come in there. I’m gonna count to three!

“One.”

“Two.”

“DAMMIT!”

I sang as I strided to virgil, getting desperate to see him.The music swelled and completely stopped. The bass played a hopeless tune, to convey the pure, raw emotion of my reaction to Verona’s dead body.

“Oh-Oh-” I immediately covered my mouth, vomiting almost lurching up my throat. Virgil’s body lay lifelessly against the wall. His arms were hanging out, his legs were strewn apart and his eyes… Oh god his eyes…  It was blank, it looked lifeless. He didn’t even close them! How- is he fucking ok?!

“P-please don’t leave me alone,” I whimpered out, somewhat crying at Virgil’s parasuicide, “You were all I could trust,”I desperately and depressingly sang out. I feel like my soulmate died. Holy shit.

“I can’t do this alone,” I sang out, building my tone up to the eventual climax.

“STILL I’LL WILL IF I MUST!”  I belted out. I was beyond furious. Emotions were spewing out as my expression morphed into someone that is wordlessly screaming. But thank god I still kept the volume at a normal tone.

The music stopped and my heart was still beating. My chest was puffing in and out as I struggled to come down from my newly found emotions. Virgil stood up and I heard his footsteps stride to me.

“R-Roman, are you ok? You were more intense than usual. Is there anything I can-” Virigil worried before I tackled him into a crushing hug. He staggered back for a bit. His arms falling limply. I took a deep breath, smelling the hood of his jacket. I was desperately making sure that Virgil was actually ok. That he was living. That he was breathing.

“Vi-virgil. Are you unharmed?” I meekly asked.

“R-roman I am completely alright. Did I trigger you?” Virgil assured me.

“N-no, it's just that… you were too believable. I just- for some reason I can’t stand the

sight of you dead.” I breathed out.

Virgil lifted his right arm and awkwardly patted my back. But it gave me comfort.

“It's alright Roman, the song was intense and I bet you were tired for today.Lets just get you to the seat and I will get you something to snack on. You did an exemplary job.” Virgil assured me.

While I was making my way to the seat I realized that my emotions are not a product of stress or burnout.

I think I fell for Virgil.

[god-hunter]

Secret Empire #6

...Spencer made a bold move on this one.  Not what I was expecting at all, considering the cover and the hinting set ups of last issue.  On the reread, I still can’t believe that ending...  But Hey.  I guess that’s what this Event is all about.  Bleak, dismal times.

I have a vague idea on how this is all gonna go down now, and I won’t give it away here.  All I’ll say is, damn...  Looks like we really do need that Cosmic Cube after all...

[SPOILERS]

Alright.  Here I’ll hold nothing back.

First thing’s first.  Mysterious Rogers:

We start in that forest we’ve been seeing him in.  He’s tied up with another rando, who’s got a screwed up large eye.  He’s probably insignificant, as he's done away with rather quickly by the Red Skull.  Then he tells Rogers that he’s next.

[But last we checked, he said he could get him out of here.  I guess he meant through death?]

The big reveal a little later is that apparently they’re in Hell.  [I don’t know... how that works.  I started to think this was maybe a subconscious brain thing..?  But I really have no idea.  As Hydra Cap is obviously walking and talking on the real physical plane just fine.]  ...Is this supposed to be an embodiment of his conscience that’s struggling to be free or something??  I just don’t know.  Skull’s interactions with him are interesting though.

New York:

We get some more insight on how much keeping the City alight is taking it’s toll on Dagger.  Night Nurse is with her and she gives her something to help, but Cloak is worried that whatever it is, it isn’t working anymore.

Meanwhile, we get to see Stephen Strange use some sweet magic as he walks through a Library and converses with an alien known as the Librarian(?)  [This must be an old-school reference].  When they greet one-another, he mentions that, “I thought you were too good for us lowly collectors... years ago...”

Anyway, Strange goes to him to learn a big light spell that will get them out of this darkness.  [Hmm..  Don’t know how I feel about that.]

Meanwhile, Daredevil intercepts Fisk and some goons only to find that he was actually helping people with crates of goods.  He asks Kingpin what his game is, and Wilson holds nothing back.  Once all of this is over, the people will remember what he did for them and they’ll trust him to Lead the City.

[Hmm.  Mayor Fisk anyone?]

Maryland:

Nadia quits the Underground Red Room team.  Miles tries to talk her out of it.  Viv and Joaquin (the new Falcon) say that this situation isn’t so black and white, and that they should sort of stay the course and see what happens.

Then, Miles spends a long time trying to talk to Black Widow, who in my opinion shouldn’t even give him the time of day.  But she listens to him as he sort of asks, whys he keeps them in the dark, and that she’s gotta be rooting for the Cosmic Cube hunters a little bit.  Right??

He also asked about that old man they rescued and she told him that was none of her concern.  [I’m tellin you, that’s Nick Fury Sr.  But that’s just me.]

The Mount:

The attack begins.  Thor goes in and yells “FORGIVE ME!!!”, which was kind of cool to see, while Cap narrates all sorts of shit about how the Underground had this coming.

We find that he’s talking to Bruce Banner the whole time, who was our reveal at the end of the last issue.  And what Bruce responds to that is golden.

But first...  inside the secret compound, there is internal strife within.  Tony A.I absolutely figures out that it was Bobbi who let them know that they were here. There is a short dispute with Pietro as well, as Bobbi tried to pin the suspicion on him to cover her ass.  [He did constantly disappear on their missions to look for his sister.]  Tony A.I isn’t so iron clad though, himself, as Raz reveals that he’s been holding out on them as well.

So... with our heroes coming to a distrusting rift once again, we go back to Cap who is basically filling in Banner about where they stand and what he needs Hulk to do.

But Banner says, ‘FUCK NO!’ In way more words.

I loved his stance on everything.  The complete outsider, completely called out Cap for being a fucking Fascist sellout.  “Maybe that became fashionable while I was out. But last I checked, you’re the evil fascist totalitarian bad guys...”

He admitted to having anger and resentment toward his peers.  But he said he’d handle that in his own way, with strong words.  But he’d never Hulk out on them.  “I’m still an Avenger, dammit. And if that’s a problem?  Then you can just go ahead and put me back in whatever box you pulled me out of. Because honestly-- it’s been a very long time since I slept that well.”

[Whoa!!  That was amazing.]

,,,The infighting at the Mount stops when the Hulk is HYPNOTIZED and breaks through their fortified barriers.

...and I would’ve loved this issue, had it ended there.  But it didn’t.

We see some sweet panels of Hulk rampaging, and Clint falling to his knees, defeated.  He’s ready to accept death here, but the Thing steps up and tries to fight the Hulk.  “--IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME!”

He gets laid out rather quickly though.

Bobbi saves Clint (and I guess she’s not a complete traitor after all.)  This was almost touching.  They don’t really interact much lately, but you need to remember that that’s his ex-wife.  Anyway, she basically sobers him up and Clint acts like a Hero again.  He shakes it off and directs the civilians among his compound to safety.

Meanwhile, Raz - the new Giant Man talks to Rayshaun.  And reveals that he apparently has a team of Android Avenger duplicates of Steve Rogers, Jane Foster Thor, Clint and Miles...  [This... did not do it for me.]

More action panels go by, and we actually get a really nice moment from Odinson, who stands before Clint, Bobbi and Tiger, who are protecting a bunch of citizens.

He just grits his teeth and says, “Go.”  Allowing Clint to let the people evacuate safely.

[This gives me a lot of hope for what’s to come.]

Sam Wilson and Bobbi get in a jet, and I guess they leave.

Then we get a lot of focus on an Iron Man and Cap rematch.

And it’s really cool and climactic to see.  It’s Civil War fuckin’ III up in here.  We find that the Tony A.I can somehow feel pain.

And somehow Cap is able to kill Tony with his shield, as he goes for a final beheading blow.

But instead, Elisa intervenes and teleports Steve out of there.

“Goodbye, Son.”

She says as the whole place blows up in a Nuclear explosion.

...What the Hell just happened!!!?

On the last page, there’s news that Natasha hears over the radio.

“Breaking News out of Nevada as Hydra troops launched a major surprise attack against Underground Forces, with reports that the subversives’ secret base has been destroyed.  No word on survivors.”

She pours a drink and cries.

Then she tells all of the teenagers to wake up with a stone cold face.

“Hydra has won.  Our friends are all dead.  Tomorrow we kill Captain America.”

-To Be Continued!-

What.  The.  Fuuuuuuuuck!!!!!????

That ending shocked and upset me so much.

But I guess I got used to it now.

...The only small hope I have is that Odinson cooperated with them.  Now I’m hoping that Hydra can collapse from within.  And that Sam Wilson and Bobbi escaped at least...

I don’t know.  There’s still a lot going on, but SO many major players have just been laid out.  And it’s really pretty fucked up.

Until Secret Empire #7, which is apparently coming out tomorrow!?