#but no one i know nearby irl i trust.

[worriedvision]

You finally leave a toxic workplace - multiple characters

Gender neutral reader, going to do this with Wriothesley and Kinich. More of a comfort fic for myself than anything tbh lol! The jobs are more genshin related than irl tbh lmao!

-

Wriothesley:

You finally had enough of the mind-games you'd be subject to by your peers in the dress shop you worked in. Whenever you were trying to work yourself, nobody would trust you with their materials they'd bring for special commissions - your boyfriend being Wriothesley and all!

Your coworkers weren't much better, but they were different. They got worse after seeing your boyfriend come along with a packed lunch for you, which led to jealousy. How did you get such a hunk of a boyfriend that was also a doting lover? They weren't happy your romantic life was going well, but they'd put emphasis on you not being doting back - a statement they wouldn't know to be fake.

When more customers came in and everyone had to stay back, they'd hand it to you to cover for them all. Chiori, someone who ran a rival shop, walked in one day after seeing you clearly not doing well.

"Darling, you do know you don't sell bags right?" Chiori chastises, you tilting your head in confusion before gasping at the mirror Chiori holds up.

"You're worth more than your coworkers - unfortunately, the only one not seeing that is you." Chiori states. "For your sake, I'd leave this job of yours. While I don't have any openings, I'm sure there are other shops you can work in that will respect your time."

"...Thank you, Chiori." You smile weakly, feeling strangely empowered to have someone that wasn't your boyfriend telling you your own worth. "can I ask why you...?"

"Oh, your boyfriend told me he was thinking of threatening your boss with a criminal record. I figured this would get you out of a sticky mess."

"Ah, that makes sense." You chuckle. "... You're right. I'm exhausted after work, and I don't have the energy to indulge in anything. I don't get paid for overtime, and I cover for people with no thanks in return."

"Walk out with me, make a statement." Chiori nods, you agreeing as you leave your badge and apron behind, hearing the gasps from the few customers still waiting.

--

"...You finally left?" Wriothesley smiles, you nodding as you snuggle into his chest and inhale softly. He sighs, massaging the back of your head as he sits back in his chair. "Glad to hear it. You're practically working yourself to death there."

"I didn't even realise how big my eye bags were!" You laugh, Wriothesley tutting before wrapping his arms around you.

"You better enjoy some time away from work. You really ought to look after yourself, my love." Wriothesley chastises, waiting for a response before realising you were now softly snoring on his chest.

---

Kinich:

You worked as a collector of materials for people who weren't familiar with Natlan and its layout. You emphasised focus on quality and less pay, as you were new to that line of work and you had to sell yourself somehow. People knew you'd be the cheaper option, but they'd pressure you to spend excessive time and resources to get their materials collected.

Your boyfriend had given you lectures about this, but at first you thought he didn't know better than what worked for him. You knew from growing up you were to take every job you possibly could, not for your own good but rather for the good of your reputation. If you didn't grow a good reputation, you couldn't work with the decent clients.

Unfortunately, you got the horrible people that everyone else would ignore if they got the commission. They'd track your progress on the commission, keeping a close eye to make sure you weren't just getting the cheap stuff. And god forbid they caught you taking a lunch break in progress of their commission!

You actually got injured one time, and the person who commissioned you jumped out from a nearby bush.

"You aren't doing your job well enough! I specifically commissioned you out of pity, and you can't even collect this one. Simple. Request?" They tut, you trying to get your leg wedged out from between two rocks.

"The request isn't- ow - simple." You growl out.

"It really is! How else would you have accepted it with such a low reward?" The man laughs, still making no move to help you. "I won't be helping you out, it will be deducted from your paycheck otherwise!"

"...Fuck you." You grumble. "My leg is stuck between two rocks, and being the sociopath you are you're talking down to me. You specifically asked for this commissions spot." You keep going, the adrenaline from the accident leaving leading to you getting both a surge of pain and exhaustion.

"Oh, you have some balls talking to me like that. Do you know who I am?" The man laughs, pinching you to keep you awake.

Before he can continue, however, he gets yanked back with a grapple your boyfriend made. The man is shocked, and he goes to open his mouth only to see a very angry Kinich.

"We've had this problem before." He states, eyes cold as they drill into his soul. "I warned you before, but you never listen. I alerted the commissions guild of this in advance knowing something would go wrong. My partner is in agony because of you."

"I-I- can-"

"You were spying on them as well. I'm fairly certain that is also a crime - in addition to you physically abusing them." Kinich coldly continues. "Traveler, please take this man away."

The traveler does so, seemingly entirely clued in, as Kinich goes along to you.

"I'm exhausted. I want to go home." You cry, Kinich nodding before examining your leg. He grabs your leg, advising you this was going to hurt, before lifting your leg up so your ankle was at the gap before getting you free.

"This is a pretty nasty wound, you're incredibly lucky you didn't break anything." Kinich sighs, grabbing his kit to clean the wound.

"I want to sleep, is that okay?" You whimper. "You were right, people are taking advantage of me."

"Of course." Kinich nods. "I'll carry you to the tent after I patch you up. I'll stay by your side." Kinich smiles.

"Yeah, so will I!" Ajaw cackles. "Even I would take better care of you than that guy! The audacity, not even killing you to end your suffering." Ajaw ends, you and Kinich looking over confused.

"... That was surprisingly nice of you." Kinich nods. "I appreciate the sentiment, and I'm sure _ does as well."

[plaidos]

First trans "friend" I had after I realized I was trans was a transmasc who is still to this day the person who, IRL, has said the terfiest shit to my face.

One example- I was talking to them about how I had wanted to go out with a bunch of my cisfem friends to get waxed down there just for a girly experience but no place we could find nearby allowed trans women, and it made me feel rly rly sad and frustrated and not affirmed and discriminated against.

Their response was "well yeah men would use it as a way to get in and sexually assault those workers so they have to do that".

No sympathy. No understanding. Just pure unadulterated "you can't be allowed into women's spaces (which I know I'm still allowed into lol) bc then creepy men would come in and do sexual assault, sry"

To this day I've had 4 transmasc friends that at some pt or another I considered extremely close and important friends and only one hasn't massively disappointed me. And even he has said shit sometimes that's disappointing but at least when I push back he listens and improves. And he's the only transmasc that's been understanding of and caring about why, for a long time after we started hanging out, I had spiky shields up and kept explicitly telling him I didn't trust him to not abuse his power over me. Also he doesn't make his difficulties with masculinity my fucking problem, he talks to his therapist abt it instead lol.

So like. I know it's possible. He's shown me it's possible for transmascs to be actually kind and caring and loving and understanding to us. Which in a way just makes it all the more disappointing that most choose not to be.

the crazy thing is that the type of transmisogyny you're describing is completely normalised within TME trans spaces, and constantly dismissed as an understandable trauma response that trans women just have to put up with.

transmisogyny is the standard, even within the trans community, even from transmascs. to pretend that it isn't is to encourage it further.

[lamnwar]

Hello! Very specific request. I have a job at a Themepark, basically I work as a Disney princess there (aurora). Its for children to sort of meet their Disney role models, favorite prince/princess. I read them stories, take pictures with them, etc. Could you sort of do a headcanon-esque scenario of how the gom will react to a partner with such a job? Maybe how some of them will be mildly jealous of the assigned prince? This was so embarrasing to type out omg if your uncomfortable with any part of the request/dont wanna do this lmk! No pressure, whatsoever. Love you, stay safe!

Hiiii thanks for the request! 💕 It was such a fun one to write and omggg you gotta be extra pretty to be working as a irl disney princess 😭

SHE'S A PRINCESS // KNB Headcanons

Context: in which you work as a theme park princess and your boyfriend feels some type of way about it

Pairing: GOM x gn! Reader (gender not specified

Warning: fluff, nothing too serious, slightly suggestive but safe for all audiences!

AKASHI

I don't think Akashi really went to theme parks as a kid so he's probably a bit surprised to know that playing a princess there is an actual job

Literally stunned the first time he sees you in costume like, his girl is just so pretty!!!

Would come on regular visit just to see you because my man is obsessed with how gorgeous you are and how well you play the role

The way you show so much grace and you are so nice to all the people that come to you

Would be the kind to take pictures of the public with you because he absolutely gets it, you are a princess

Talking of which, "princess" progressively becomes a new nickname he uses for you

He doesn't mind that you work with another guy as your assigned prince, but if dude tries to make a pass at you, he's as good as dead 💀

Smiles softly as he looks at children coming to you thinking you're the real character

And the way you're just so sweet with these kids aaaahh! my man just falls in love even more from seeing that

MIDORIMA

To Midorima, a job's a job, so he doesn't think much of it

He took some time before visiting you at the park and actually seeing you in costume

This DEFINITELY awakens something in him, trust me

Would obviously not admit to it but he really falls even more when he sees you in your princess get-up

He would occasionally visit you, but to make sure you're doing ok and is not too exhausted

He's such a meticulous guy that he'll sometimes help you out with your costume

Got a crease on your dress? he's on it already! Need someone to curl your hair at the back? he's your man

Not even surprised by the little kids who are convinced that you are a true princess, because you absolutely look the part

But sometimes these kids would get a bit sneaky and ask you if you really love the prince

It's hard to answer that question when you know that your boyfriend is nearby and he can hear you well

But you'll just look at Shintaro while you say "yes, I do love my prince" because thinking of him is the only way you can express genuine love

KISE

That guy could easily steal your job, let's be real

I mean he's just that pretty!! no offense to you but it's just the truth

When he comes and sees you at the park, you better believe people mistake him for a prince

And when they see the both of you together? Yeah, you might as well be a real royal couple

He's your best hype man too, goes around telling everyone that you have to be the best princess of the whole theme park

Doesn't mind the guy who works with you as your assigned prince, since he knows very well that he has nothing on Kise

I mean... he really can't compete

But he might a bit pouty when you play your role a bit too well, acting lovey-dovey with your prince for the public

He gets reassured when you come to him later and give him a kiss on the cheek

Not sure if it's allowed for you to break character like that, but it really doesn't matter if it's for Kise 🤭

AOMINE

Aomine kinda makes fun of your at first when you tell him that your job is to be a (fake) princess

But he's quick to shut his mouth the first time he sees you

Like... damn, that just unlocked a new kink

You're so damn beautiful he goes mad

Obsessed with princess! you

Has beef with a 6 yo once because that kid was looking at you for a bit too long for his taste

It's kinda funny because he's being ridiculous, but still

At first, very much against you having to work with another dude, especially when you have to play pretend a couple

But it doesn't last long because you told him once you're only his and it's enough to switch his mind

Now he brags to these kids that you're actually his

"See that gorgeous princess? Yeah she's in love with me"

"But what about the prince?"

"She loves me more than the prince"

A big PR disaster for the park, btw, but he couldn't care less

The most beautiful princess in the park is his, and he'll never lie about it

MURASAKIBARA

Very intrigued by that job of yours

What do you mean, you get paid to be a princess?

Honestly looking at him, you're confident he can book a job as a pretend royal

His physique is very prince-like, can't say that much about his personality

Anyways!

Comes to the park often so he gets to see you + eat nice snacks!!

Buys you food too when he's here, so you do not starve

Nods in agreement every time a kid points at you all impressed

"Yeah, she's indeed the prettiest"

Plays the game and tells people that you *are* a real princess

Weirdly enough, he gets hungry seeing you in costume

I mean that puffy pastel dress? Girl, you look like a pastry

Doesn't really like you working with a prince

He just doesn't get it! Like, what do you need a prince for? People like the princess more anyway

Even when you tell him it's part of the act, he's pouty about it

It's cute though, in its own way!

[e-dragonic]

BEING MOBIAN AU

Based loosely on Being Human

What do you get when you get an anxious Werewolf, a repenting Vampire, and a naive Ghost in a house together?

A semidisfunctional family!

Barrett was the first. Around 100-ish years ago, he was a great Echidna Warrior of his Tribe, who protected a powerful mystical artifact. During the tail end of a War against another Tribe, he ran into Clutch and his flock of Werebeast hunters. They were passing by, picking off stragglers from the War when they met. Despite being outnumbered, Barrett fought back as he saw one of them drain one of his fellow Tribesmen dry. Clutch took him up on his declaration and though the fight was a bit sided, Clutch liked his ferocity. So when Barrett lay on the ground defeated he gave him a proposal, join him and his flock or they would kill him and destroy his Tribe. Under the threat, Barrett had no choice but to accept and let Clutch turn him, eventually giving him the nickname of 'Knuckles' for the Sliver Knucks he would soon wield.

He tried to hold onto his Warrior spirit, but it wasn't long before he became like them, bloodthirsty and ruthless till he met a witch, another Echidna named Tikal, who brought back some of his morality and honor, as feelings came back to a heart he thought long since dead.

But it wasn't long before they were found out and Clutch killed Tikal for her blood. When he found out, Barrett started on his path of redemption. He ran far from his Sire and his group, feasting on the blood of animals instead of Mobians to sate his Thirst.

Eventually, he got a job and began to set his roots down in the small town of Emerald Valley, once he found out that a close friend of his, Rouge was the 'Head' of the Town. He found a house in the suburbs, hoping to try and regain normalcy...until he found out he wasn't alone...

A ghost, a two-tailed fox by the name of Miles, or Tails, haunted the house. He didn't know how long he had been dead or how he died. In fact, he didn't even know he was dead until Barrett explained what Miles was now and what he was.

It wasn't long before a friendship formed between Barrett and Miles.

One day, when a curious Tails tagged along with Barrett to see how he hunted, they stumbled across Nicholas, a newly bitten Werebeast, just waking up after a rough Moon. It wasn't long before he noticed them and quickly ran before anyone could say a word. Barrett was prepared to go in the other direction but Miles decided to follow after the strange Werebeast despite Barrett calling after him.

Miles soon finds Nicholas' campsite where he quickly packs up his stuff because if there's one Vampire, there's more nearby and he had already had a very bad experience with them. Miles was quick to explain how Barrett is different but Nicholas is skeptical.

It takes a lot of convincing from Miles to get Barrett on board with inviting Nicholas to live with them and it takes a lot of convincing from both of them to get Nicholas to accept their invitation, stating that he deserves to live and feel normal just as much as the two of them. Nicholas soon gets a job where Barrett works and the three of them just try to Be Mobian.

...

Yeah, this is my new fixation now. I'm so sorry to those who were looking at Growing Pain. It'll still come... in time but for now, you guys get this!

Sorry for the Watermarks, you can never be too safe nowadays.

Trust me when I say it's worth it. Those in the THOAM server have seen the drawings and even short stories I've written for this and you guys will too!

Will there be an Ao3 fic of this? Yes, there will be! It'll take a while for me to start it due to IRL stuff but it'll be done. I'll even start by putting up the two short stories I have now. Mostly of Nic but I do want to do shorts of Barrett and Miles eventually.

This even comes with a relationship chart for your viewing pleasure!

It'll be filled out with pictures in time and will be updated along with the Fic!

Know that this is still kinda? in the works? so don't be surprised by any changes.

My ask box is always open for asks about my characters or AUs!

[littlespacereader]

Hai Clara, I just saw this adorable Scooby Doo paci and I think little dean would go absolutely bonkers if he found it and cherish the hecc outa it when he got it!!

The paci was made by paci.pops on Instagram. It was a custom one and is sadly not for sale irl, but just imagine little dean seeing it and getting so excited, or Cas commissioning it and gifting it to him as a surprise. 😭

Just wanted to share this cute mental image (in the hopes it inspired you in some way hehe)

Anyway, love you - byee!! <3

First of all, that pacifier is adorable!! I would kill for one that looked just like it myself!🤩 But Dean woukd literally lose it to having something like that!! While the story mostly has Dean and Castiel in it, I made to sure to sprinkle some Sam and Crowley in the end:) I hope you enjoy as always @dino-boyo-agere ! Thank you so much again for another beautiful request to the Supernatural storyline!

For all the previous fics in this series click here, here, here and here.

The Surprise👀💚

Caregiver! Castiel & Little! Dean Winchester, with Caregiver! Crowley & Little! Sam Winchester (SFW!)

Tags- struggling to regress, hurt/comfort, surprises, pacifiers, diapers, stuffies, hugs and cuddles

Hunt after Hunt, Castiel could see that Dean was in desperate need of regression.

It wasn’t his fault. Sam and him thought they were going on a simple ghost case. But simple and Winchesters don’t go together. What should’ve been a week at most turned into a two week long hunt.

By the end of it, Sam and especially Dean were in some dire need of love and support from their respective Caregivers.

Castiel will be the first to admit…it was definitely an interesting change having a second Caregiver in the bunker with him. Crowley and him were polar opposites when it came to their Caregiving styles. So navigate around one another is…interesting to say the least.

Castiel kept pacing back and forth waiting for the sound of the Impala outside the bunker. Finally the boys were on their way home. And by the sound of it, he could tell Dean was struggling not to regress.

Castiel insisted he could just teleport Sam, the car and him right back him but Dean insisted on driving. He wanted to clear his head after the brutal case and before he regressed. And one the ways he knows how to do that is driving.

More than anything Castiel wanted to be there right as Dean walked into the bunker. So there he stood now, well…maybe not stood. Castiel paced and Crowley sat at a table nearby reading a newspaper with his feet up.

“Staring at the door isn’t going to get them here any faster Cassie.”

Castiel shot him a glare before going back to his pacing. Crowley rolls his eyes and puts the paper down.

“Alright, I’ll bite. What’s got you so worried about Dean?”

Castiel looked confused to the phrase but continued on. “You know when Sam calls you and tells you everything fine.”

“Un-huh.”

“But you can just tell that everything isn’t fine and that he’s barley hanging on to his adult self?”

Crowley sat back in his chair and sighed, “Yeah…I know what you’re talking about. So squirrel is barley hanging onto his adult mindset.”

“That’s what I suspect.”

“And you let him drive?”

Castiel turned to glare at Crowley again. “You try tell Sam not to do something when he’s fighting his regression.”

“Oh trust me I have Cassie.”

“And….”

“….And I was in the same position as you.” Crowley sighed, hating to admit.

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of the car doors closing. Sam and Dean walking into the bunker looking rough.

Sam immediately walked over to Crowley while Dean on the other hand, was about to walk past Cas and towards his room. But Castiel stopped him.

“There you are! I’ve been waiting for you.” Cas smiles with a warm and calm expression.

Dean’s expression was the complete opposite for the moment. He looked tired and stressed, “You were?” There was a slight hint of hope in his voice as he looked at Castiel, surprised he was waiting for him.

“Of course I was.” Cas smiled again, “I think it’s time for someone to take the night to relax and maybe even regress.”

Dean sighed before he pushed past Cas and walked towards his room. Castiel followed after him.

“Dean-.”

“Stop.” Dean said with no real heat behind it, “I don’t want to regress tonight. I-I can’t… not after that case.”

“By the look and sound of it, I think you should. You look stressed out beyond belief Dean.”

He followed him into his room, closing the door behind them so they could talk privately. “Listen, I know you’re still feeling big but if you’d let me help you, I can help you age down a bit and finally relax.”

Dean struggled with this often. Coming back from a hunt that required him to be protective, brave and strong was a hard thing to change. For Dean sometimes it was a hard thing for him to regress. He almost gets stuck in that mindset, forgetting how to regress again.

Castiel always knew the signs of it, he had seen Dean do this time and time again. He fights the need to regress and then in turn becomes grumpy from not regressing.

Dean ignores Cas and heads towards the bathroom, “I’m gonna to take a shower.” He muttered before walking away.

He threw his clothes around the bathroom before stepping into the shower. The warm water was rather relaxing. It started to clear his mind on everything.

Everything is frustrating! He didn’t know how to just regress after everything! He had been an adult for two weeks and it was hard to switch that off. But being home with Cas made feel his head getting fuzzy with the feeling of regressing.

His regression felt as if it was on the tip of spilling over. Like a cup filled to the rim with only one drop that causes the whole thing to spill.

That drop of course, would be Castiel.

When Dean stepped out of the shower, all of his clothes thrown wildly on the floor were gone. Instead, on the countertop sat a soft fuzzy robe. Dean dried off before putting the robe on and heading back to his room. There, Castiel waited on the bed with Sharon and Ozzie next to him.

Dean, in a losing battle against his regression softly asked, “What’s this all about?”

“I just had the most interesting conversation with Ozzie and Sharon here.” Castiel started to say. He patted he bed next to him, urging Dean to sit with him.

The walls Dean desperately had up, start to come crumpling down brick by brick as he took a seat next to Castiel.

Cas takes his hand in his, “Now I was just in the middle of talking to Ozzie. He was telling me how brave and strong you were while you were away.”

“He was?” Dean asks so innocently. He starts slipping more than he realizes it.

“Yeah he was. He was going on and on about how he’s so proud of you.” Castiel squeezes his hand.

Tears start to sting at the corners of Dean’s eyes. He quickly wipes them away with a knuckles fist, “That’s really nice of him to say.”

“It is. But Sharon was just reminding him that even big brave boys need to relax sometimes too. And it doesn’t make them any less brave than before. Sometimes they need someone else to be brave for them, just for a little while. That way they can rest and be brave again when the time comes.”

Suddenly it all makes sense to Dean. Of course this is what Cas was trying to tell him but…but Sharon and Ozzie made more sense with it.

Castiel could see the gears turning in Dean’s head. “I think what you need tonight is for someone to be brave for you. Not only will you have me to be your guardian angel, but you’ll have Sharon and Ozzie to protect you too. Triple protection for my little bee.” He picked the stuffies up and handed them to Dean.

Dean quickly grabbed them and brought them close. Tears fell from his eyes as he looked up at Castiel. Gone was stubborn adult Dean fighting his regression, and in its place a little boy in need of some serious comfort.

“Dadee, missed you so much.”

That’s all Dean had to say before Cas leaned forward to bring his Little into a nice cozy hug. Dean rested his head on Castiel’s shoulder and just sighed. He missed this so much, he missed Cas so much.

“I miss you too love bug.” Castiel rubbed Dean back and gently rocked him back and forth.

Once they broke apart, Castiel took Dean’s hand in his once more. “Tonight is going to be a nice relaxing night for us. First we’re going to get you changed into some comfy pjs and then we’re going to watch some Scooby-Doo. But before we do I have a little surprise for you.”

Dean’s eyes lit up, “Surprise?!”

“Yeah a surprise! I was planning on saving it for someone’s birthday but tonight it’s needed more. But first pajamas.”

Castiel stood up and walked over to Dean’s closet while Dean whined and threw himself back onto the bed. “I don’t wanna wait.”

“It will only be a minute.” Cas replied back as he search for some pajamas.

“What is it?”

“Wouldn’t be much of a surprise if I told you?” Castiel smirked.

Dean huffed and sighed, and tried, tried to wait patiently for Cas to come back over. After what felt like years (in reality only two minutes) Castiel returned with some pjs and a diaper.

Dean lifted his head when Castiel returned, “Surprise?”

“Not yet sweet boy, just a minute. First we get you changed then…”

“Then surprise?”

“Then we get the surprise. That’s right smart boy. Now, let’s get you into some pajamas.”

The pajama change went by uneventful. Dean, though a little impatient, acted his best when changed into pajamas and a diaper. Once all settled Dean quickly sat up and looked at Castiel all excited.

“Okay baby bee, close your eyes.” Cas winked with a smirk.

Dean could barley hold his excitement. The once grumpy hunter had done a complete 180. He closed his eyes and held Sharon close as he patiently waited for his surprised.

Cas went into the closet and grabbed the small box. He carefully unwrapped the packaging before making his way back to Dean. When he did, he spotted the Little trying to look.

“Hey what did I say about those eyes?” Cas raised an eye brow. Dean quickly shut them once more. Cas couldn’t help but shake his head at his cheeky little one.

“Okay, hold out your hand and when I count to three open your eyes. Ready?”

With Dean’s hand out, Cas carefully placed the gift, “1….2…..3!! Open!!”

Dean quickly opened his eyes and gasped. There was a moment of pure bliss as Dean stared at the Scooby Doo themed paci. The paci has the works, gems, little paw print charms, zoniks written on the front and a little picture of Scooby himself.

He looked up from the gift to Cas, “Y-You got me a paci?”

“I did,” Cas took a seat next to him on the bed once more, “I’ve been noticing someone has developed a habit of sucking their thumb,” Castiel started to say causing Dean to blush.

“So I planned on getting you a pacifier but then I stumbled across this one online and I couldn’t resist to get it for Scooby Doo’s number one fan.”

With tears in his eyes he looked back up at Cas again, “I wuve it!!” Dean practically tackled Cas into a bear hug, wrapping his arms around his neck. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!! It’s so pretty and it has gems on it and even Scooby!!”

Cas laughed, hugging his boy back, “You are so welcome. I’m happy you like it.”

The two broke apart and Dean continued to stare at the paci.

“Dean?” Cas broke him out of his thoughts, “Why don’t you give it a try?”

What seemed so obvious made so much more sense. Wow, Caregivers really are the best! Thing is…he’s never had a pacifier before. What was it like? With a small moment of hesitation, Dean popped the pacifier into his mouth.

Then suddenly it was as if the whole world melted away. He closed his eyes and let the feeling wash over him. A pacifier was something he always wanted but before his regression was known to his family, he didn’t want to risk anyone finding it.

Now he had his own!! And it’s perfect!! It’s Scooby!! He loves Scooby!! It couldn’t get better than this.

~~~

You know what’s better than a Scooby Doo paci? Having a Scooby Doo paci in your mouth while watching Scooby Doo!!

Dean laid with his head in Cas’s lap as the two settled in the tv room for the night. Dean’s eyes were half lidded as he watched Scooby and the gang get chased around the castle by a ghost.

Cas had one arm wrapped around his little one and another playing with his hair. The night started to end off peacefully. Just a Caregiver and his little one.

Well…almost ending peacefully.

Crowley could be heard yelling in the background before Sam bursted into the tv room, towel around his waist and his hair soaking wet like a mop.

“Dean you’re never gonna believe what I-.” Sam stopped mid sentence seeing the paci.

There was a second, just a moment, where Dean worried his brother might tease him about his new paci. But what he found was the polar opposite.

“DEAN!!! THAT IS THE COOLEST PACIFIER EVER!! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?! ITS YOUR FAVORITE SHOW!! THAT’S SO AWESOME DUDE!!”

A smile spread across his face from behind the pacifier as Sam complimented it. Dean sat up and pointed to it, “Swooby!” He mumbled behind the paci.

“Yeah!! It looks so cool with that green gems and the Scooby charm…” Sam started to trail off. This pacifier gave him an idea. After all Dean’s birthday was coming up soon. Maybe he would like another one?

Crowley burst into the room half soaking wet himself, “You. Little. Troublemaker! Come here!”

And so the night ending in the Bunker with a real Scooby Doo chase. But instead of a ghost chases the Scooby gang, it was instead a soaking wet Demon chasing a very tall Hunter while another Hunter watched and giggled next to his Guardian Angel.

[sixosix]

(so… that ask about the potion made me think… and when you brought up plastic flowers, it kinda clicked and i kinda had brain rot in between my final exam and IRL stuff- figured i’d at least try! Look at me mashing things together like play-dough and pretending it makes sense, so please pardon any writing or spelling/grammer mistakes! I like to write but i’m not really a fanfic writer, and not confident on my grasp of any characters! Plus i threw this together in like a few days - deadman aether anon)

You look happier.

No… that isn’t exactly it.

You may be more open with your emotions now, but that doesn’t necessarily mean happiness. The few glances Lyney gets of you during his street performances show you as focused, stressed in some way if not tired. Running around the streets of Fontaine for whatever task your job seemed to require of you at that time. He hasn’t seen you laughing in joy or with a wide cheek-to-cheek grin on your face.

But you seem more relaxed. You don’t have a constant guard up anymore. There may still be tension and stress in your posture, but it's not the kind a soldier has. Just the constantly present worries of making ends meet.

Lighter.

You look lighter. 

Like you no longer carry the weight of your past sins on your back. 

Which makes sense.

After all, how can one carry that weight if they have no memory of it?

He knows something happened between you and Father; even if she refused to tell him exactly what happened the one time he dared to ask, brushing it off for a later time. Any attempts to try to get answers out of the flower shop owner; mother, you called her your mother; also failed, only resulting in a bittersweet look in the woman’s eyes. 

All he knows is by the time he managed to find out their location, he found you standing in front of the Knave and the tied up woman. Downing something like it was hard liquor, before handing back the little bottle to Arlecchino with a grim but resolute look on your face. 

Nothing odd seemed to happen after you drank it. No longer the star of the show, but apart of the audience, he could only watch in anxious bewilderment as you walked past the harbinger without even receiving a second glance in return. Able to free Rosalie without even the Fauti guards nearby saying a word. As the two of you had started to leave, Lyney had tried approach you again. To discover what happened or to beg for you to trust him, to trust in his genuine feelings for you… he doesn’t know. 

But you only walked past him with the same resolve you had with Father. Even Rosalie only glanced at him, opening her mouth to say something only to shut it and continue walking with you. Lyney had barely managed to reassure himself with the fact that you were unharmed, that he could try to approach you at a different time despite Arlecchino’s orders to stop contact.

Gods, he’ll always regret arriving too late, till the end of his days he’ll never forgive himself.

When Father informed him and his siblings of the fact you no longer had any memories of the Fauti, his heart broke. 

No… no, you won’t have, right? You won’t have chosen to forget everything. Not Cecilia, not Freminet, or Lynette or even the rest of the family. Not- not him.

Lyney always has to bite back the thought that they hadn’t been your family for years at that point. 

But with how you acted when Rosalie was kidnapped…

He can’t even blame you like he had when you first left. If it was the only way, he would gave up his memories in a heart beat if it meant his family would be safe. 

Gods, if only Lyney could hate you for this. But the only thing he hasn’t been able to successfully trick as been his heart.

Originally, after the confrontation he stumbled on, he had wanted to come up with a plan. Some sort of way to work around Arlecchino’s orders and make contact. Sure, he would have to start from the beginning again, but he was willing. For you, he’d do it. He’d do anything for you.

But this, this was hitting rock bottom and grabbing a shovel to dig deeper.

When he first saw you after everything, the words had died in his throat as he watched an unburdened you hurrying through the crowds with a goal in mind. It felt just like it had when you had gotten drunk at the party, and just like before, he couldn’t bring himself to call out to you. To press you for details and answers, to figure out what little memories you had left, to try and woo you, to try to put a blush on your cheeks. 

So, Lyney settled.

He settled with passing glances, watching you in the distance. Settled for not being a major role in the opera of your life but a member of the audience. Even at the knowing looks he gained from Lynette and Freminet when he changed the location of his street performances, he couldn’t help himself. He futilely tried to convince his heart that this was fine. As long as he could still see you, as long as you were ok, that he could settle with crumbs instead of a full meal.

Only for all his efforts to come undone the moment Lyney saw you standing in the crowd.

Like a starved, feral animal, all his feelings came bubbling forth when he realized you joined the tail end of the performance. He would swear to anyone who asked that the only reason he didn’t come undone like at the Opera House is because of the continued exposure he got, as little as it was. 

Seeing you, looking up at him, starstruck despite the fact he isn’t doing a single trick at that moment, just advertising his and Lynette’s next show…

His resolve crumbles into dust, and the spare flower he keeps on hand to charm the citizens of Fontaine feels heavy in its hiding spot. 

In the end, he never really could stop himself when it came to you, could he?

The noises of the remaining crowd members just turn into an incomprehensible buzz at that point, he doesn’t even hear the apology he gives out with a theatrical bow as he sees you getting farther and farther away. The moment the necessities of politeness are done,  he darts off after your distant figure, everything unrelated fading to the background. 

“Wait, wait!”

Unlike the past three times he has called out to you like this, you stop.  Lyney hears his heart pounding in his ears, joy rising as he watches you turn around. He barely notices you looking around in a panic, wondering why someone like him is calling out to you because all he can think about in that moment is that you stayed.

You, in all your glory, stayed. 

“Hello…” you murmur reluctantly as he comes to a stop. Despite that, he can’t help the smile that comes to his face.

Well, third times the charm, isn’t it?

- you only put this together after a few days?? 😭😭 youre incredible (cut below is me losing my mind line after line thank you very much)

- ‘lighter. you look lighter.’ IM GPING TO SOBB 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 LYNEYYY 😭😭😭😭

- “Gods, he’ll always regret arriving too late, till the end of his days he’ll never forgive himself.” NOOOOOO MY POOR BOY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 he did nothing wrong my heart aches for him AAUGHH IM SAD FOR HIM U WROTE HIM SO WELL

- “Lyney always has to bite back the thought that they hadn’t been your family for years at that point. “ im srsly going crazy. MY DOOMED FAMILY my babies 😭

- “Gods, if only Lyney could hate you for this. But the only thing he hasn’t been able to successfully trick as been his heart.” I have been shot.

- “Settled for not being a major role in the opera of your life but a member of the audience.” OKAY OKAY I GET IT ILL JUMP OFF

- “In the end, he never really could stop himself when it came to you, could he?” i have fainted on the floor

- THE WAY IT SO SMOOTHLY CHANGES TO THE BEGINNING OF PLASTIC FLOWERS WOOOWWW I HAD TO PAUSE AND CLAP. I HAD TO TAKE A BREATH……… that was so seamless i didnt even realize it until i thought the “wait wait” and the “hello…” was familiar

- YOU ARE SUCH AN INCREDIBLE WRITER WOW. im stunned. you have such a way with words ☹️🙏 the way u wrote lyneys train of thought and feelings I CANT BELIEVE THERES FANFIC OF THAWED and i cant believe the first fanfic of it is this it is SO GOOD i ate this up this was literally my breakfast i have been fed well by your immense skill

[antares-ct-9905]

Hunter's first time | The Bad Batch oneshot

Hunter x Female reader // Hunter x You

Word count: 4105.

Warnings: Spoilers from The Bad Batch S2E13, NSFW, Smut, Explicit, Fluff, Unprotected Sex (use protection IRL).

Note: I was inspired by the Episode 13 in Season 2 but without the tremor nor the tsunami.

Ao3: [link]

Wattpad: [link]

------------------------------------

You are a bounty hunter who joined the group temporarily after altruistically saving Omega. You needed to escape from a planet and they offered their help in exchange. Since you had nothing left and nowhere to go, and Omega got well along with you, she convinced her brothers to let you be part of their team temporarily. Of course, you put yourself at their service to collaborate and not be a nuisance.

At first, they didn't trust you, especially Hunter, the most protective of them all. But over time, they discovered that behind the appearance of a cold-blooded assassin, there was a kind hearted person and you won their affection.

--------- 🔞ONLY +18 ----------

The team and you have settled in Pabu, and you have been there for a few days. They were given a house, and you got a smaller one. Wrecker and Omega went out for the day, Tech and Phee went out on what seemed like a date. Hunter stayed alone and went for a walk in the afternoon, the sunset views were a gift to remember.

You were leaning on the balcony in front of your house, enjoying the orange and purple colors that were painted in the sky. Pabu was a tropical island, the sea surrounded you to the infinity, and the houses on the entire island were starting to light up.

Hunter's aimless walk led him to pass right in front of your lodging, casually. A warm smile appeared on his face when he saw you, he approached you and leaned on the railing next to you.

"Enjoying the view?" he said after clearing his throat.

The landscape had you so absorbed that a startle brought you out of your trance. Although you maintained a calm composure, your heart was pounding.

"Oh! Hi Hunter, what are you doing here? And the others?" You looked over his shoulder hoping to see them coming after him, but no one else appeared.

Hunter told you about everyone's plans and that he spent the day relaxing, but he was a little tired of doing nothing and decided to go for a walk.

You told him that you were also a little bored of being alone and invited him to stay and chat for a bit. He accepted delightedly, his eyes shining.

*********

The hours passed and you talked about a little bit of everything. You shared about your tough childhood on the streets and how you were trained to be an assassin, about growing up as a special clone on Kamino, and about how sweet Omega was. Meanwhile, you went to a nearby stall for dinner. There were few people there, and the atmosphere felt private. As you began to speculate about what plans Tech and Phee had for the 'date', you asked Hunter between laughs.

"His first date? You make it sound like it's the first one in his whole life."

Hunter, looking serious and not knowing where to look, responded.

"Our purpose has been to fight, we haven't had any chance to have any kind of relationship," he muttered.

When you heard his words, you felt empathy for them, as you too were forced to train from a young age with the purpose of being an assassin. Luckily, you were able to find your way out of that world years ago, which is how you later became a bounty hunter. Even so, despite not being able to afford to fall in love and have a partner, you had had your occasional encounters. So, since the subject came up, you decided to satisfy your curiosity.

Hunter was an attractive man to you. His long hair and tattoed face were very sexy, perhaps too aggressive for most people, but that only made him more attractive to you. Nothing like a tough guy appearance. And when you got to know him and saw his protective side with Omega, it got you extremely hot to see that duality of tough-guy-good-guy in him. On more than one occasion, your hands slid under your underwear to give yourself pleasure while thinking about him. You bit your lower lip and asked him.

"So... you haven't been with any women before?"

You leaned in closer, interested in his answer. Imagining someone like him being inexperienced was quite arousing to you.

Hunter tried to clear his throat, it was obvious that this wasn't a topic he was used to discussing and he looked uncomfortable. His fingers were restless.

"Um... no," he stammered as he scratched his neck, his face completely red.

You leaned in a bit more, tempted to tease him fondly. He looked cute to you, all embarrassed like that.

"Nothing at all? Not even a casual encounter?" you insisted.

"We haven't had time for anything other than war or survival," he said bluntly.

Your expression went from mischievous to sad. You furrowed your brow, and your lips turned down. "Poor things, they haven't enjoyed life," you thought.

You pressed your lips together for a moment to think about what to say, but before your mind could catch up, the words were already coming out of your mouth.

"Well, if you're interested in knowing what it's like to bed a woman... Well... I'm willing to help you. You and I have nothing to do tonight."

You couldn't believe what you had just said, your heart was racing. But you said it already and you had to keep your composure. So you offered him your best smile as you touched your hair.

Hunter's face went pale, he was breathless and as stiff as a protocol droid. As soon as he regained his speech, he thanked you hastily for the offer and quickly excused himself to go back home.

You had no choice but to accept that you fucked up and endure the embarrassment, knowing that it would haunt you from that day on, each time you see him.

*********

It was already late at night, you stayed drinking alone to try to forget the shame you had just experienced. You were already in your pajamas - if being in panties and a tank top could be considered that - and decided it was time to go to sleep.

You heard a noise at the entrance, someone knocked on the door with their knuckles. Although there was no crime in that city, your survival instincts automatically kicked in. You approached with a hidden knife in your hand and, cautiously, asked who it was. You didn't expect to hear his deep voice.

"It's me, Hunter. Hope I didn't startle you."

You quickly drop the weapon and crack the door open to peek out, since you're not decent for him to see.

"Not at all. Has something happened? What are you doing here?" you ask, looking down and blushing.

He seems uneasy, he cleared his throat. He's dressed in a short-sleeved green shirt, with a short kimono of the same color that was crossed in front and a belt at the waist. Below that, loose pants that end inside his high leather boots. He was dressed exactly as before, "didn't he went home after all?" you ask yourself.

"I've been thinking... about what you said earlier," he said in a hoarse voice.

He paused briefly, which felt like two full rotations, but you didn't interrupt him because you could tell he still had something else to say.

"I would like... to be with you... if your offer still stands." He couldn't say it all out loud or maintain eye contact with you for more than a second.

As soon as he finished, all your worries dissipated at hyperdrive speed. In their place, a pulse in your intimate areas sent a shiver down your spine.

"It will be my pleasure, Hunter. Please come in," you looked him up and down.

You relaxed your expression and smiled. You opened the door wider for him to come in, staying behind it and then closing it. When he entered and turned to see you, barely dressed, you noticed how his whole body became rigid. He shifted his weight, as if trying to adjust his leg due to some discomfort in his pants. You could tell he was struggling to keep his gaze on your eyes and not look where he shouldn't.

"I'm glad I didn't scare you off earlier, I didn't know how I was going to face you", you said with relief.

"Uh, yeah. I certainly didn't expect it. But I've been thinking about it and..." he spoke cautiously and shyly.

With a suppressed giggle, you brought your right hand to his face to stroke the fringe that fell over the bandana, playing with his hair. It was softer than you expected. Your other hand rested on his arm, feeling strong to the touch.

"Get ready, you're going to lose your virginity tonight, Hunter. Do not worry, I'll be gentle”, You smiled with complicity, noticing that it was difficult for him to swallow.

Your hand left his hair and began to trace the line of his prominent eyebrow on his tattooed side. Your fingers followed the path from his temple to his sunken cheeks, ending at his chin. He had shaved a couple of days ago and his skin felt rough to the touch. Your heart was racing as he stood so close.

He was still, completely lost and at your mercy. He just twitched his hands restlessly on either side of his body, as if he didn't know what to do with them. You rested your palms on his pectorals, making circles on his kimono. His breath was heavily. You closed the distance between the two of you stepping forward. The house was almost in darkness, just an ambient light that you left on.

You wet your lips and brought your face closer to his, slowly, until your lips rubbed together superficially, without exerting pressure, as if you wanted to tickle him. You could feel his hot breath on your mouth, with a ragged breathing. At the same time, your hands slid up his clavicle, past his neck, and ending at his back.

After you admired him for a few moments, you gave him a soft kiss, slow and simple, just on the lips. Hunter let out a moan as he closed his eyes, resting his hands on your waist. He sighed to try to calm himself down. You gave him a couple more timid kisses, this time shorter, but with the same care.

"Are you sure you want to do this?", you said softly and looked into his eyes.

He couldn't find the words, so he nodded his head. You responded with a smile to try to calm his -obvious- nerves.

"Come, let's get more comfortable."

You took him by the hand and led him to your room. He was behind you and you could feel his gaze scanning every inch of your body. His trembling hand was slightly sweaty. You turned on the bedside light so as not to be in absolute darkness, you wanted an intimate setting but also to be able to see him in all his splendor, and for him to see you too. You were still holding hands, you didn't want to lose tact with his skin.

"Let yourself go. Do what your body wants, don't be afraid. You won't break me," you whispered with a playful chuckle, releasing the grip and turning towards him to cup his face with both hands.

He frowned with uncertainty and concern, it was a completely new and unexpected experience for him.

"Understood," he finally said with a shaky smile, as if it were a mission and you were his superior.

Your bodies leaned into a kiss with more intensity than the first one that you gave him in the living room. Your hands snaked up the nape of his neck, gently balling into fists to better feel the strands of hair between your fingers. Hunter, on the other hand, traced the outline of your body, up and down, along your sides. The kisses were only broken to get some air.

You were being flooded by Hunter's essences. A blend of damp earth, metal, and leather. They were the scents of war, of his armor, of a soldier. The smell of a man who knows what he's doing and how to survive. It got you very horny.

Your lips parted slightly to stick out your tongue. You traced his lower lip until he took the hint that he should repeat your play as well. Suddenly, your tongues met in a wet dance inside your mouths. Hunter wrapped his arms around your waist tightly, you couldn't suppress a moan, you were overcome by the need for him to be inside you.

You managed to detach yourself from his mouth and you looked at him with the hunger of a beast that hadn't eaten for days, wanting to tear his clothes off. Between gasps, you started to remove his belt, he quickly assisted you and in less than a second it was out. His kimono opened automatically and you ran across his chest over the shirt. You reached under it, and as he removed his kimono, you lifted his shirt until his bare torso was facing you. You liked his olive skin so much!

"You don't know how I've been longing for this, Hunter", you let out between sighs as you ate him with your eyes.

“I'm all yours,” he gasped.

Like a moth to the light, you stuck to him to kiss him on the neck. Hunter no longer held back, his moans were louder and more frequent. He tipped his head back to give you some more space. He could feel your breasts oppressed against him, his hands were gaining confidence and you noticed how he caressed your bust on the sides. You pulled away for a moment to give him a chance to touch them better, and he did.

His large and calloused hands cupped your breasts gently, afraid not to squeeze too hard. His thumbs rubbed your erect nipples across your shirt, you didn't have a bra on, that thin layer of fabric was the only thing separating him from your skin. You mischievously pushed him to sit on the edge of the bed, you could feel his erection through his pants. You placed your knees on the bed as well, on each side of Hunter, you were on top of him with your hips elevated, you still didn't want your private areas to rub together. You looked at each other with lust and he groped your firm rear, taking advantage of the space.

After a couple more kisses bathed in both of your saliva, you stuck out your chest for him to massage them again. You put your hands on his to show him how to bring your breasts together so that he could feel how far he could compress them without hurting you. You began to notice how Hunter tilted his hip with a swinging movement. As soon as you let him explore freely, he wasted no time in lifting your tank top, you finished pulling it off over your head. Your breasts were exposed.

Hunter didn't know you had a large snake tattoo that ran across your chest and down your side. When he saw it, he pushed you down himself and lifted his hips until you felt great pressure below, huffing and puffing. Your panties were wet for a while ago and the arousal with the touch of his erection made it worse.

"I didn't know you had tattoos too," he exclaimed excitedly.

"Would you have liked to find out earlier?" you teased him.

"Better late than never," he replied.

Hunter put a hand on your back for support, you leaned back and with the other hand he slid his index and middle fingers from your navel to the neckline, grabbing one breast and then the other. You returned to your position from before, sitting on him with your back straight, and Hunter took the opportunity to run his tongue over your nipples.

"Ahh.. Hunter!" you let out.

Your heart was about to burst out of your chest, your iner parts was so swollen that it ached, and if you kept going like that, you were going to stain his pants. So you got up and started taking off his boots, luckily they were easy to slip off. You took one off and he did the other.

You introduced your fingers through the waist of his pants and his underwear, lowering them at once. His manhood was so hard that it bounced in front of your face when you undressed him. You heard how Hunter let all the air out of his lungs, seeing himself completely exposed in front of you.

You got on your knees and caressed his hairy legs with your fingers, leaving a trail of kisses behind them, from his knees to his inner thighs, ending at his crotch. Avoiding touching his erection to torment him some more. Hunter called your name, frowning, when you made the move to lick him but dodged it by aiming to the opposite leg. His organ had an involuntary contraction and a droplet of precum appeared.

When you had teased him enough, you used both hands to caress his cock, it was wide and veined, slightly curved downwards. You used the entire length of it to pleasure him, Hunter's head was thrown back and he rolled his eyes. His hands dropped to your head, as he brushed his fingers through your mane, then you opened your mouth and took it inside you. You tasted the liquid and that made you groan with your mouth full. You played with your tongue while you gave him fellatio, turning it around the glans. From time to time you would firmly grab his member and, with your gaze fixed on his face, completely blushed, you would lick it from the base to the tip, to end up introducing it again at once. Hunter's legs wouldn't stop shaking.

"Oh fuck!" Hunter said, rapidly inhaling and exhaling.

You gave him a kiss on the tip with your swollen lips. You got up and took him to the bed, to lie on his back. You took off your underwear, curving your body sensually. His gaze was fixed intensely on your shaved area, French bikini style. You were both completely naked at last, your battle scars standing out in the light from the bedside table.

You crawled across the bed to end up on top of him. Hunter welcomed you with open arms, groping your entire body. His dick was rock hard, throbbing. You leaned in to kiss his neck, he took the opportunity to kiss your clavicle and your shoulder.

Hunter bent his knees to support the soles of his feet, he was seething with excitement, his hips rose and fell pushing you with all his power. You also moved your hips but with the movement inverted, to put more pressure when your sensitive areas pressed against each other.

"I think it is going to explode", he begged indirectly for you to relieve him.

With your tongue, you licked from the base of his neck, where you were kissing him, to behind his earlobe. Right after you bit  it carefully. Hunter arched his back in pleasure and dug his fingers into your thighs.

"We'll need to fix that", you whispered in his ear.

You sat on him, grabbed his member in front of you, and brought yourself up on your knees, aiming his member just below your entrance. Hunter was expectant, stroking your thighs on the outside and inside, in circular motions.

You were descending with your body towards his cock, you were so wet that it had no resistance. You decided to go down little by little, for him to feel your warmth and get used to the pressure of your vagina. His arms stretched out the width of the bed, he closed his eyes and moaned, trusting you completely. Once it was completely inside you, you let it rest for a few moments. It felt so good.

“It's all inside me”, you gasped and he looked at the area with wide eyes.

Your hands were resting on his -well-trained- abs, his hairs tickled your fingers. You started to rotate the waist, squeezing down even more, you wanted it inside as much as possible. Your breasts protruded tightly in your arms, Hunter grabbed them with his hands and fondled them as you taught him before. Then your body began to go up and down, each time with more rhythm.

Your arousal increased with Hunter's, your breasts bouncing to the beat of your movements. Hunter couldn't take his eyes off you, you never imagined seeing him like this. He was biting his lips in excitement.

“You're doing it so good… I like you a lot. You are beautiful”, he stammered.

You've done it with one-night stands before. But with Hunter you felt…a connection. His words generated a stream in your body that you took advantage of to go faster. At that moment, one of his calloused hands touched your most sensitive spot, inserting his thumb between your lower lips and rubbing. He was exploring your parts, enjoying you. But as soon as you made a noise of pleasure that you couldn't suppress, he repeated that gesture. And soon you had a series of contractions that got bigger.

There you were that night, with Hunter between your legs. Enjoying pleasure, flooded in spasms as you moved up and down on top of him. You arched your back and threw your head back.

"Ahh! Hunter!”, you blurted with the last downloads of energy.

Hunter felt your orgasm, the spasms around his erection, and an increased amount of lubrication. After that, he could not contain himself and he took you by the arms to put you with your back on the bed and him on top of you. He made sure that your pelvises were glued together at all times so that his dick wouldn't come off.

"Give it all to me, fill me up", you said with all the blood on your cheeks and a big smile after the orgasm.

His tongue searched yours as he thrust his hip into you, his dark mane falling over your face. You surrounded his waist with your legs so that the penetration was deeper. His breathing became more and more labored, his arms began to shake.

"I think… I think I'm cuming" he said between thrusts.

Soon you were listening to his gasps as he went faster and faster until he reached climax. You noticed how he was unloading inside you, you helped him with your hip movements.

Gradually, he reduced the frequency of his movements, pressing with your insides to release every last drop.

He didn't got off to be able to enjoy you, after his first orgasm. He had her elbows on the bed, on either side of you. He gave you a series of kisses on the lips, on the cheeks, on the forehead, on the eyebrow, below the jaw. Until his body finally asked him to relax completely. He pulled his pelvis back, arching his back slowly, until his penis was out of you.

"That was amazing" he sighed.

He turned to the side of the bed and lay next to you. You were full of his, you could feel it dripping. You'll change the sheets tomorrow.

*********

Both of you stayed cuddled up in bed. Hunter lying on his back and you on your side, with your head on his chest. Both of your breathing clear and serene. You closed your eyes to listen to his heartbeat, it was relaxing.

"What's your impression?" you asked curiously.

“It has been the best experience of my life. Thank you”, you didn't see his face but you could feel that he was smiling.

You began to caress his chest without a certain pattern, sometimes a caress deviated more than necessary, towards the south of his body.

"We can do it again if you want. There's still so much more for you to explore," you said, feeling a blush creeping up your cheeks.

Hunter gave you a kiss on the head.

“I hope we can do it again soon”, a new erection was beginning to appear.

"There's no need to wait for another day", you wanted to tease him.

Hours passed, Hunter and you continued to enjoy each other as he regained his vigor. Thanks to you, he had the best night of his life... and there were many more to come.

---

Additional note: I reposted this here because I first uploaded in my main blog ( @antaresgalaeth )but it was about Hogwarts Legacy, so I wanted something only for SW/TBB.

[gamercookies]

A heart divided… or not?

Genre: teachers/colleagues to lovers. 

Word count: 1.2k+ Pairing: “arranged marriage”/ex!felix, ex!hyunjin. Teacher x Teacher Warnings: not really, it’s SFW.Small smut moment at the end.

Note: my irl bestie requested this but it’s sfw since she was shocked on my previous work, but kindly asked to do this short simple idea, which it’s my first sfw but whatever.As always bad at mis-spelling! :3 

It’s been 3 years since Felix is in an arranged marriage to hide his secret from his parents that he’s in love with hyunjin. Felix and hyunjin were dating for a few years during college, now they’re both teachers for college. But today during the teacher lounge area he admits something, that can change their fate about their feelings again.. 

Flashback: to when Felix told hyunjin he was getting married.

Felix set up a late-night dinner with Hyunijn and his "new wife." "I'm getting married..." he said, looking down as he held his wife's hand. Felix felt a twinge of guilt, knowing he still had feelings for him. 

“Are you serious?!” Hyunijn stands up from the table and breaks the glass cup in frustration, “After 3 years of being in love with me, you do this to me?! How could you! I trusted you..” he tears up. As he runs out of the restaurant as his tears continue dripping down his face. Felix soon stood up and went after him leaving her inside, “w-wait!”

Hyunjin runs to a nearby alley to let go all his tears, knowing that his own boyfriend is getting married to a girl, without reason. Felix soon catches up to him and grabs him by his shoulders. “Why.. why’d you do this to me..” Hyunjin says, looking at him. Felix looked at him with tears as well, “I’m sorry..” Hyunjin cupped his cheek and gave him one last long kiss, knowing it will be the last. 

He hugs him and says, “hug me, you said you’ll hug me, and not let me go. You promised!” Felix embraced him, his heart being stabbed by his words. “Actually I-..” was the last words Felix could stumble to say. But hyunjin pushed him away making him stumble back a bit, and runs home not daring to say “goodbye” or anything, leaving Felix to cry. 

Back to current time: Felix and Hyunjin were in the teacher lounge grading students works, they haven’t spoke to each other since the last time they met. All they know is that they’re friends.

Felix fidgets nervously as he sits across from Hyunjin, trying to find the right words. After three long years, the weight of their unspoken feelings finally becomes too much to bear.

"Hey... Hyunjin," Felix begins, his voice trembling slightly. "Can you pass me that work over there? He points over to a small stack of other students work.

“Y-yeah of course.. here you go, Felix.” As he passes over the stack of papers to him. “Thanks..” Hyunjin looks at Felix for a moment, studying his expression, "No problem, just trying to help out," he replies casually.

He leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. The atmosphere between them feels charged, like the air is thick with unspoken words and lingering tension from their past. Hyunjin clears his throat, attempting to break the silence. "So, how's married life treating you?" he asks, his voice neutral despite the curiosity burning behind his gaze.

“Oh.. well it’s been alright we can say, but lately she’s been a bit toxic around me, asking for money this and that. But she’s getting on my nerves, not the way I viewed her to be.” he says placing the pen down and looks down. “But can I say something, hyunjin?” He says looking up at him again.

“I wanted to apologize about years ago, I didn’t mean to leave you heartbroken after the unexpected announcement of me, but to be honest.. I married her for my parents sake, so they won’t know about us..” Hyunjin's eyes widen in shock as Felix's words sink in. For a moment, he seems speechless, struggling to process this revelation. Then, a mix of emotions crosses his face - relief, anger, sadness, and ultimately, understanding.  "I see," he says quietly, as he puts his pen down.  "Wait, what? Are you saying... you never actually wanted to marry her? That everything was just a ruse to protect us?" He leans in closer, searching Felix's face for any sign of deception. But all he sees is sincerity and regret.

"I can't believe it," Hyunjin murmurs, running a hand through his hair. "All these years, thinking you chose her over me, over us... And now you're telling me it was all a lie?" He takes a deep breath, composing himself but decides to stand up slamming the desk. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why wait so many years to tell me!? I don’t even think the same about you anymore.. you ruined my heart, Felix.” 

“I was scared to lose us, I still like you deep inside..”  Felix reaches out, taking Hyunjin's hand in his. His touch is tentative, almost reverent. “Please forgive me for hurting you, for lying to you all these years. I should have been brave enough to stand up for us, for our love.” 

“I can’t even trust you right now, just shut up and let me focus on grading..” he says as he sits back down and picks up the pen again and continues grading. 

“I understand..” Felix says in a whisper. 

Finally, after several minutes of tense silence, Felix speaks up again, his voice soft and hesitant. "Hyunjin, would you..."

"Would I what?" Hyunjin snaps, his patience wearing thin. He sets down his pen with a sharp clack, turning to face Felix fully. "What exactly do you expect from me right now? After all these years of lies and secrecy..."

He shakes his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "You think you can just waltz in here, confess your undying love, and expect me to fall into your arms? I'm not that naive anymore, Felix." Hyunjin stands abruptly, chair scraping against the floor. He paces a few steps away, hands clenched into fists at his sides. "You broke my heart once. Do you really think I'm stupid enough to let you do it again?"

“I know I hurt you let me just explain it well-“ he feels he’s lost words as hyunjin unexpectedly grabs him by his tie, and bends him above the desk, making Felix look at him as he grabs his thigh and pulls it over his arm. “Just shut up.. please.” 

“You still broke me after years.. I ran home crying, ripping everything that’s about us. And you decide to tell me that years later, when you could’ve told me before.” He leans closer with sight of tears forming.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you like I said.. it was for our sake..” He looks up at him afraid.  

"Hyunjin, please, I know I messed up. I was young and foolish, and I thought I was doing the right thing. But I see now that I only ended up hurting both of us in the end."

He reaches up tentatively, cupping Hyunjin's cheek with a shaking hand. "I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I'm sorry for lying.“

His voice drops to a whisper, raw with emotion. "Please, Hyunjin. Give me another chance. Give us another chance. I promise I won't waste it this time." 

Without a word, hyunjin kisses him, after the years of pent-up energy. He slides his hand down to remove the tie and unbutton his shirt.

“Fuck, you’re amazing as always..” he says looking at his bare chest, admiring it.

“Y-yeah, I know.. but I’ll divorce with her to be with you. I miss this, this time no more marriages to hide myself, I should be the one protecting you, with my heart.” He pulls him close to kiss him again. 

He lets go of the kiss and lets hyunjin to kiss his neck, leaving him with small marks, “Ah~.. p-please..” he whines, “make me officially yours now..” hyunjin looks at him, “You want me to be yours again? You promise you won’t leave me for that woman again?” .. “Promise, please let it just be us again.” He says. 

Hyunjin unzips his pants with a smirk, “well.. well..you’re dripping with pre-cum.” “W-wait what if someone walks in here, and they see us doing this and we aren’t grading!” He pleads. “Don’t worry, plus.. I think it’s lunch break. I guess let me just eat you out for lunch.”

And with that Felix and Hyunjin keep kissing, ignoring the ungraded papers, lost in their own world, and focusing only on each other as they fuck their minds senseless.

[skzoologist]

word count: ~3.8k

warnings: there is a crime scene there described, mentions of past abuse

genre: angst, with a hint of crack

a/n: The last of the event's requests, done at last. This was requested by an irl friend, and since I know her very well, I made a few changes to it. Now it's focused on certain characters more and turned into angst, because we love that in this household. And my previously hidden fixation over DBH is newly lit and I only need to look at the word count to know I am absolutely fucked. But I love the world of that game too much, and look, police SKZ??? I cannot be the only one who loves the concept this much, I just know it 😔 No, police!Chan doesn't have a hold on me, what are you talking about- Anyway, Darling, hope you enjoy reading this, there's plenty of main course with a hint of fine wine there!

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

He was at the wrong place, at the wrong time. 

It was that simple.

He’d merely wanted to take a brief walk around the neighbourhood, to freshen up his mind and wind down from a stressful day of work. Nothing more, nothing less.

And yet, he somehow found himself crouched in front of a window at a house that wasn’t even his, mind you, and just bearing witness to a scene that made the breath still in his lungs. Not a single coherent thought passed through his mind, body operated purely by instinct as it stayed there, motionless, as if he himself had been turned into a statue.

The room he’d been peering into was bathed in vermillion, splashes of it everywhere: on the expensive furniture, the once shiny floorboards, even the glass he’d been peeking through. And amidst all that stood an android, his clothes pristine and untouched, looking as if he’d been put there from a completely different scenario. The light on his template was a calm blue, creating a serene light in the dimly lit crime scene.

Before he could even think about what to do next, the nearby android turned towards him, movement precise and calculated. Not a single hair was out of place on his head, expression as neutral and calm as it could be. Their eyes met, one a pair of deep cerulean, another a pair of darkness, wide and scared, pupils shrank down in utter fear and anxiety.

He knew he couldn’t run anymore, with how he’d been seen. It would only take the police to check that android's memories to see his face and pin all of this on him, while the real culprit would be left to run free and commit another crime with no shackles to restrict them.

Not a chance he would let that happen!

“Sir, don’t move and put your hands where I can see them.” - an unknown male’s voice called out to him, sending him nearly into a heart attack.

Shaking, but knowing he quite literally had no choice now if he wanted to stay alive, he slowly lifted his hand up above his head and turned around, the movements choppy and shaky. The sight in front of him made the blood freeze into his veins.

A police officer was standing there, pistol drawn and pointed right at him, the man’s presumed partner having his hands on his own holster, housing another gun, ready to be pointed at him as well. His eyes instantly glazed over, panic being the only fragile obstacle between his tears and the wide world.

Because those two weren’t simple officers, no. They were well-known for their amazing skills, tackling hard cases and solving them swiftly, as if they were mere child’s play to them. Captain Bahng and Officer Kim were highly praised and sought-after individuals in their fields, their Department quickly gaining fame and the trust of the people.

Which was why he prayed that they would believe him and how he had nothing to do with the dead body in this random house, even if there was only a slim chance of it ever happening.

“Sir, we’re going to need an ID and a clear explanation on what happened here.” - the senior officer said, his voice now much closer as he’d been inching towards the scared boy ever since. “I- I’m Han Jisung, I uh, I live down a few roads over there and please believe me when I say I don’t know what happened here. I was just taking a walk when I noticed the strange spots on this windowhereanddecidedtocheckandsawitwasbloodand–” - his words became a jumbled mess, his breath short and much too fast to be considered normal.

The officers noticed it too, how his eyes seemed unseeing, his whole body shaking and going into a panic attack. The captain quickly put his pistol away and approached Jisung swiftly, only after a quick glance at his partner, who nodded back and followed him closer, stopping a few metres away, hand still hovering over his open holster.

“Sir, I need you to listen to my voice and breathe with me. Take a deep breath in, then, breathe it out. In, out. Yes, like that! Breath in, then let it out.” - the captain instructed, a small smile dancing on his lips to appear at least a tiny bit friendlier.

Jisung followed along as best as he could, his body and mind retreating from the verge of an attack slowly, but surely. His breathing stabilised, only hitching in his throat every once in a while. Only small tremors could be seen running along his hands, the digits twitching occasionally.

“Good, you did good. I’m terribly sorry Sir, but we cannot let you go, given the circumstances. My partner here, Officer Kim, will keep an eye on you while I go in and investigate. I would be grateful if you would comply.”

While he was still a bit out of it, Jisung nodded his head so fast, it was a miracle his vertebrae were still intact. That small smile ever so slightly widened on the captain’s face before he glanced back at his partner and stood up, having been kneeling in front of Jisung this whole time. The other policeman once again curtly nodded, his eyes drifting down towards the scared boy and quietly prompting him to stand up. Jisung thankfully read the silent command and followed along, watching as Captain Bahng took his pistol out again and carefully opened the door.

The android was still standing there, the blue light of his LED spinning as it was processing new information, his eyes falling upon the new arrivals’ forms.

They felt strangely alive, causing a shiver to run up Jisung’s spine.

“Ah, you must be the android the caller mentioned before. Seungmin, can you question him while I take a look around?”

“Looking after a potential suspect wasn’t enough? You’re working me to death over here.” - the officer’s voice was light and teasing, drawing a sigh out of the older one.

Despite their playful banter, Seungmin did as he was told, calling over the android and asking it about everything, down to the tiniest of details. Jisung merely stood there in silence, mainly because he was still shaking in his boots, praying to any god out there that he would not land in jail.

All the while Chan’d been walking around the room, gloved fingers hovering around potential clues and traces. The body laid next to a table that stood there emptily, a shattered bowl and spilled food found nearby, a few of the latter’s pieces still sticking to the wall above and painting the beige surface a light brown. The puddle of blood around the body was spread wide, as if no blood was left in it anymore. Arches made with those same vermillion blotches could be seen around, staining the furniture and walls, as if the murder weapon was flung around after each stab in a morbidly graceful spectacle. Seemingly no injuries were on the body as it laid there, back facing the ceiling, forcing the policeman to leave it as it is, until the investigators came around and took photos of everything in their original state.

The house itself was big, having two stories with several rooms on each floor, all spacious and well furnished. The now dead owner must have been well-off, although that didn’t come as a surprise, the neighbourhood being closer to the heart of the city. But now as it stood there, empty, it only posed more problems, making the investigation harder with its endless potential hiding spots for easily missable vital clues.

It took the captain a good ten minutes to scan the first floor briefly, his eyes stopping at an opened magazine. Curiosity drove him forward, something in his gut telling him it was important. His fingers hovered over the marked page, the big letters in the middle confusing him, creating a slight furrow in his brows.

“Hey, Seungmin. What’s the android’s model?” “BI-800, why?” “Then where is the HS-900 model one?”

Seungmin hummed, also appalled by the situation. The two officers quietly discussed things, but Jisung saw.

The android’s light flashed in an ominous red, yet in the blink of an eye it was gone, only that usual, serene blue could be seen in its place. It made Jisung question his sanity, if he was so freaked out he was starting to hallucinate now.

“I’ll check the upper floor, stay here and watch the doors and these two. That android has to be here somewhere too, if the house owner actually bought one.” - Captain Bahng said, voice firm and turning serious.

And so the other three waited on the first floor in silence, the atmosphere so heavy, it was basically palpable. The air itself turned chilly, as if something was in the making, yet none of the humans knew about it. 

Officer Kim was already in his stance, ready to take action in a millisecond if needed, eyes sweeping over the place in a calculated manner. Jisung was just standing there, fidgeting with his hands, the skin around his nails on the verge of bleeding from the constant abuse. All the while the android just stood there, eyes fixated on the stairs, never once looking away.

As if he was waiting for something.

A few minutes later a quiet thud could be heard, barely registering in the humans’ ears. Both of them snapped their heads towards the stairs now as well, waiting for something, anything to happen.

Yet, Jisung felt the urge to look at the android who stood next to them again, as if it was an insatiable itch itself that had to be satiated.

The light on his temple was blood red, never changing its colour, no matter how long the human looked at it.

Not even a moment after this discovery did a male run down the stairs, so distressed he nearly tripped down the oak steps. Somehow he found his balance and successfully righted himself, just in time to land safely and for Seungmin to slam into him, pushing him down onto the ground. Chan wasn’t far behind, looking dishevelled and a bit out of breath, no doubt the unknown male’s doing.

That same male was writhing in the officer’s hold, trying his best to break free while shouting, begging to be released. But the small splotches of blood, both red and blue, begged to differ, putting him on the prime suspect’s pedestal, no matter how hard he cried and pleaded with the policemen.

It all happened in the blink of an eye, and Jisung somehow saw it all unfold with perfect detail, his body jerking backwards into faux safety.

The android disappeared from next to him, no, he ran there with calculated and efficient steps, a pistol drawn from one of the holsters sitting snugly in his hand, pointed right at the weapon’s rightful owner’s head. All movement ceased when a click could be heard, the gun merely the pull of a trigger away from firing.

No words were exchanged, yet the android’s demands were obvious. Their hold on the suspect lessened, allowing the male to scramble out and hide behind the robot, tall form now small and timid. His fingers were desperately clinging to that typical outfit all androids were forced to don, hold so tight his knuckles turned white. Tears were still endlessly flowing from his strikingly blue eyes, forming wet trails on flushed cheeks and long hair.

In a strange twist of fate, those strands were the exact same shade as the blood that could be seen smudged on his clothes and face, mixed with a few splotches of terrific blue.

The same blue that started spreading on the android’s white uniform, the puddle seemingly appearing out of nowhere and growing ever so slowly. Yet, he didn’t seem bothered by it, remaining in the same position and putting a comforting hand on the male clinging to him.

“Listen, I know it’s scary and you have every right to be scared, but if you lower the weapon, we can help you. Just–”

Chan’s voice was interrupted by a simple ‘No’, the word cold and firm. It left no room for discussion, planting fear in the policemen’s minds and locking their limbs into place. Nausea took its place in their guts, as if it had been waiting for this exact moment to rear its ugly head. 

He couldn’t lose his partner like this, Chan would rather take his own life with his own hands before that could ever happen.

Jisung didn’t know how he was still standing there, with dry pants no less, but he just couldn’t take his eyes off of the scene playing out right in front of him. He watched it all with bated breaths, nearly lightheaded from the lack of air his unmoving lungs failed to provide him with. His eyes were starting to water as he forgot to even blink, his body unwilling to function and let him look away, to spare him from this horrid scene.

Just as the android’s finger was starting to pull the trigger, his hand suddenly dropped down, entire body turning limp. His supposed partner clung to him for dear life, holding his body up and breaking out in another wave of fresh tears, loud sobs leaving his lips now.

A noticeable puddle of blue liquid could be seen on the android’s clothes, staining the red-haired male’s hands and the floor beneath. The machine himself was turning unresponsive, now dull, dark blue eyes slowly being hidden behind long lashes and closing eyelids, the LED on his temple turning dim, as if life itself was bidding its quiet goodbye.

Loud wails and pleas could be heard, the broken male sobbing his heart out while holding onto the android as if he himself was his lifeline, his everything. The shutting down machine’s deep violet hair was stained with his own blood, the liquid inevitably getting there with every gentle stroke the strands got.

It was utterly heartbreaking to bear witness to.

“Tell him to go into emergency mode. Right now.” - Chan’s voice cut through the air, startling both Jisung and the mourning male.

When no answer greeted him back, the captain repeated himself, somehow even more serious and firm than before.

“If you do that, we might be able to save him. But he needs to save every power he has remaining, if you want him to live.” - he continued, a determined glint in his eyes.

The red-haired male curtly nodded, taking hold of the android’s face and asking him to go into emergency mode in a hushed whisper. In a matter of seconds the order was followed, only the dim light of his LED telling them he was still alive, merely resting.

“What-, what now?” - came the question from the still crying male, glistening eyes looking up at the officers.

It was ironic, how these law enforcers were his only hope now, when they were the exact ones who chased them there.

“We get into the car and go to our base. That’s the only place he can still be saved.” - Seungmin said while Chan was already out the door, starting up the car so they could leave faster.

Jisung watched them leave, the red-haired, tall male never letting go of the android he lifted with ease. The officer noticed it as well, his eyes widening for a split-second before righting his expression and motioning for Jisung to follow them as well.

“Wait, I’m going too?!” “Well we can’t exactly let you go after all you’ve seen. Don’t worry, no harm will come to you.”

The poor witness didn’t quite believe the policeman, sweat already gathering on his forehead once more as endless possibilities of what could happen to him ran through his head. Still, he silently followed the other two, glancing back to see Officer Kim follow them out of the house.

Once they were all in the car -the android still held in the crying male’s grip-, the car sped off as the siren was turned on and cars passed by, the speed limit having been broken long ago.

“It’s all my fault. He was just defending me, but that disgusting man hurt him in his last moments. Please don’t send him to the factory or the disposal site, I’m begging you.”

Chan glanced back at the sobbing man through the rearview mirror, eyebrows furrowing a bit more as he didn’t have a grasp on the full story just yet. He had his hunches, but those were just that: hunches. He needed evidence, and the words of a desperate person were a strong start.

“We won’t, just tell us what happened.” - his voice lost its harsh edge, trying to be as soothing as it could in the tense situation. “I–... I’m an android too, and that dead body belonged to our so-called owner.”

“That explains so much.” - Seungmin commented after the silence was growing too long, his voice soft and contemplating. “He bought us together, me and Bae hyung, loving how pretty we looked. He always flaunted us around, never letting me out of the house, saying how I was a decoration only he could see. So he only sent Hyung out, making him do every chore that was outside the house. And whenever Hyung left, he…” - the red-haired android gripped tightly onto his own thigh, expression pained and untameable anger swimming in those azure orbs of his.

Jisung couldn’t help but feel empathy, doe eyes watching closely with every drop of attention he could squeeze out of his tired body and mind.

“I was abused at every given moment, strange and unknown emotions forming within me along the way. And whenever Bae got back and we were left alone, he patched me up, even though he got no command for it. It left a foreign warmth inside my chest, something that only grew as time went by. He always looked out for me silently, even though he wasn’t even how he is now, not back then. It’s my fault he became like this, just like it’s my fault we’re in this mess. He always said ‘Hyunjin, you are too reckless’, but I never listened to him. And look where that got us.”

The deviant, now known as Hyunjin, let out a silent sigh, hugging the other machine closer to himself, as if it was even possible.

“Long story short, I supposedly messed the food up I made for dinner and got yelled at, harsh words and harsher slaps thrown my way. And before I even knew it, that man took a knife and lunged at me, but Bae hyung appeared in front of me and took the blow, taking that same knife and killing him. He told me to hide upstairs while he himself tried to hide every evidence of my existence in that house. Seems like he failed, but it’s a miracle in itself he hid so much in so little time, with that injury of his. And after all that, he cleaned himself and met you guys, or, well, saw you looking in through the window.” - Hyunjin said, the last sentence directed at Jisung as he turned towards the now surprised boy. “And how do you even know that??” “We only need a touch to transfer data and memories, didn’t you know?” - the android said, a somehow simultaneously sad and teasing smile dancing on his cherry red lips.

Jisung’s cheeks reddened in embarrassment, his eyes looking out the window as he heard the officers stifle a laugh -well, only one was trying to stifle it-. The police department where Captain Bahng and Officer Kim were stationed came into view, the building only a few streets away.

Yet when they’d reached it, they didn’t park at its designated parking lot, no. Instead they went to the underground one, the sudden darkness that was only illuminated by harsh fluorescent lights invading Jisung’s eyes. The words ‘Employees only’ were written in bold, big, red letters on a sign above, explaining why the quokka had never seen this place before.

Parking took only a minute at best, the car being haphazardly stopped right in front of the elevator doors. Everyone hurried out of the vehicle, Chan already at the elevator, waiting for it to arrive.

Once inside, the captain pressed a finger to a specific spot on the panel and pressed one of the newly appeared buttons. The doors closed and down the elevator went, confusing the poor pedestrian who was accidentally swept into all of this.

It took a minute or two for the ride to stop, but once the doors were open, Jisung’s breath caught in his throat once again. He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t just choked to death already, but he wasn’t about to complain.

There was an entire underground base underneath the seemingly average police station, fully kitted out with the best of the best technology and equipment. It felt as if he was in a movie somehow, seeing how secret agents of the government worked in the shadows, making a part of him deep inside giddy with excitement.

The few people who were there had already been looking at their leader, waiting for instructions patiently.

“Felix, I need you at the med bay ASAP. Minho, you go ahead and keep an eye on this witness. Changbin, go and get the spare parts ready and transport them to the med bay. Jeongin, start working on covering our tracks.” - the commands were swiftly given out, each and every member already moving before their orders were fully finished.

All Jisung could do was silently watch as everything happened around him, the androids whisked away and out of his sight. He hoped the injured one would survive, his heart felt for both of them. But he couldn’t say anything, too stunned from everything around him and where he was, the nerd inside him now freaking out fully and freely.

“Are these the drugs kicking in, or am I dreaming right now? I can't believe I'm in a secret base of all places, wow.” - he couldn’t help but mutter out, still not believing what had happened to him in the last few hours. “What drugs?” - came the sly voice beside him, causing him to physically jump in place, a hand placed over his frantic heart. “Fucking shit, don’t do that dude, I nearly died from a heart attack!” “Then you shouldn’t joke about drugs in the presence of police, idiot.”

Jisung’s skin burned as he looked away from the laughing male, the floor suddenly becoming much more interesting.

[ohraicodoll]

Please please please write more Tommy and Red being friends? I absolutely adore them so much! I mean I adore everything you write but there’s something so special about Tommy and Red being like besties

I was trying to write this into a fic but it didn't flow how I wanted and this way I can write more moments! So have more HCs! (I am working on the others requests! I've just been massively swamped irl)

The moment she had decided that Joel and Ellie were her people, the world had shrunk and dimmed to only the two of them. Nothing else mattered. The whole world could burn and she would do it herself if it meant they were cared for and happy.

But the problem was, now that they were settled, their circle had grown. Ellie cared about Cat and Dina and Jesse and the other misfits. Joel cared about his brother and Maria to an extent. And because they cared, her circle had to grow to accommodate them because if one of their people died or was hurt then Joel and Ellie would be hurt.

So she didn’t necessarily want to get along with Tommy, but was more forced to. He was her partner’s brother. Did she care if he liked her? Not really. Did she tone down the aggression around him if only to keep from getting kicked out and try to build a few bridges? Maybe. But would she keep him safe and alive? Yes.

Tommy at first keeps a wide berth of her in the early days, especially after she nearly rips his head off for touching her bag. He doesn't understand what screws got knocked loose in his brother's head to choose this crazy ass woman but Joel had a reckless streak when it came to women. He liked the danger factor. Tess was like that, but only internally feral.

Red was very internally and outwardly feral and Tommy wasn't about to die after surviving the whole apocalypse cause he pissed off his brother's whatever.

With Maria pregnant, he handled the more hands-on problems in her stead. Like when Joel almost beat the shit out of people for messing with Red or the latter getting kicked out of jobs because of complaints.

He was proud of himself when his suggestion of the dog kennels went well. Happy wife, happy brother, happy community. He was the hero of the hour in his mind.

Things go well. The crazy troublemaker isn't causing as much trouble.

Most of her patrols were done with Joel, either in a pair or when they were in a group he would act as a buffer. Red was less paranoid about someone shanking her in the back, even if Joel and Tommy had assured her that wouldn’t happen. She didn’t know these people and didn’t trust them.

But Joel had to finish a job and so Tommy swapped with him, the only person he trusted to have Red's back even if it made Tommy nervous to be alone with the woman. She had frowned the whole morning, ignoring small talk as they headed to sweep one of the far clusters of cabins.

Not everyone in Jackson was soft, but some were a little dumb. Settlement life could smooth out your instincts and make you forget how evil the world is, how ugly and cruel it can be. They’d muzzled themselves to get along with each other and polite society can have side effects. So they didn’t notice the things she did.

The building they entered had boards on the door but it was done shoddily, half of them hanging off the frame and the nails too shiny. When they pried them off and went inside, she’d noticed the floor wasn’t covered in dirt evenly in some areas. Like it’d been spread out on purpose. She’d paused, brow furrowed even as Tommy and the other girl Celia pushed in and started looking over everything. Her instincts were screaming and her hand tightened around the pistol gripped in her hand. It was an ambush.

Later, she wouldn’t be too ashamed to say her first thought was to leave Celia out as bait. She didn’t care about the woman, quite honestly. But her second thought was to shove Tommy in the back and push him behind a low counter as she quickly ducked nearby behind a shelf right as a small group burst through the door. Joel cared about his brother. It was her job to keep him safe, not Celia. 

A small hesitation wiggled in her brain about not wanting to show that side of herself to Tommy, the side that thrived in a fight and would rip through whoever was in her way with bloody, reckless abandon. Joel had seen it over and over, had witnessed her bite a man's throat out with her teeth and kissed her afterwards. But Tommy wasn't Joel and she knew he didn't have that part in him that was slightly twisted.

He didn't like to do the things that made them both monsters. Yet the prevailing thought of "protect Joel's people" overrode that hesitation. Because it was better for him to be scared of her than to be dead and Joel to be heartbroken.

So after two of them dragged Celia off, her screams making Tommy wince, she switched to her knife and let herself go.

There would be so much blood afterwards. It hadn't been a quick clean fight. She was covered in it, could feel it sticking to her neck and gluing her shirt to her skin. She'd ripped through the first one easily, slicing open his neck and cutting deep enough his vocal cords were gone. She'd leapt onto the second and was stabbing over and over, teeth bared, barely able to hear Tommy's curse as he tackled the third in the room before they could lift their pistol.

She'll admit it was reluctantly, but once he had managed to get his down she'd gotten to her feet and calmly went to the other room where Celia was screaming. He'd stumbled after her, hissing her name, but was instantly at her side with his pistol raised.

The two men had pinned Celia down and she'd easily shot one in the head as Tommy shot the other. He'd taken over the job of calming the sobbing woman down while she waited by the door, waiting to see if more would show up and if the two members of their patrol on the other side of the cabins were dead.

No one showed up but the other patrolmen and she tuned their chatter off as Tommy recapped the situation. It didn't matter to her. Her job was done, Joel's brother was alive and that was all.

No one spoke to her the rest of the ride back to Jackson but Tommy did hand her a bottle of water and a wet rag silently. It wouldn't wipe all the blood off her skin but the silent message was accepted.

Joel freaked a little when they arrived back, taking in the blood all over her and some on Tommy. He gripped her chin tightly and checked her over, satisfied when it appeared none of it was hers then interrogated his brother over what happened.

She simply pressed her hand over his heart and skimmed her fingers over his arm before leaving and going home, leaving him to talk to Tommy.

Joel came home right as she came out of the shower and he gripped her wet, naked body to his. He didn't care that she was soaking into his clothes. She held him back and relaxed finally, letting his whispers of "thank you" sink into her.

She thought Tommy would distance himself from her after the incident, but it seemed to be the opposite. He hung around more, would check in on her at the kennels and see if she needed anything. When Joel pressured her to ask him for heaters for the dogs, she'd managed to muster up the courage and he'd said yes without hesitation.

He began to rib and tease her without hesitation, in the same way he did with Joel and Ellie. In return, she did as well. She even found herself finding small things on patrol and would turn and ask Joel if it was something Tommy or Maria would like. He hid his smile and tried to shrug nonchalantly a yes.

When the gifts started showing up on Tommy's doorstep, the man had a small heart attack but after Joel got it through his head that it was a good thing he started to figure out how to read the strange woman. You accept the gifts, don't say thank you and don't bring them up to her, but watch her almost beam inwardly when she could see you using them or having the items out on display.

Tommy began to see the things that Joel did. It was almost a reward in itself to say or do something that resulted in the woman smiling or laughing or anything other than her hard, intense stare-down. Because not many could do it.

It was like being let into a small secret club and he relished in it. Would jokingly call her a terror or a little menace. Trouble. She was trouble, but no longer the bad kind.

Like back in the before times, sometimes he showed up to their house just to bug them and he knew it was time to leave when she would throw a book at him and say, "Don't you have your own home?"

Tommy made sure to stop by the kennels often to bug her or check on her, see if she needed anything because otherwise he knew she wouldn't ask. Sometimes he'd bring food or would help wrangle the dogs from outside with her.

He watched her barely hold herself together when the older dogs passed away and he was there, silent but reassuring. Tommy was there when Joel couldn't be and he knew that was a privilege he had earned.

He watched his brother relax and smile more, could see them out front playing guitar and laughing. Joel pressing soft kisses into her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder, looking almost like an entirely different girl.

She was Joel's people, she was family, and the thought was simply a fact in his head.

That's what had propelled him to punch the shit out of the man harassing Red at the wood mill. It's what he explained to Maria soon after. Red was family.

Sometimes he was still hesitant around her, but it was lessening as she began to poke back, insulting his shooting skills and then when she tried to show him how to shoot a bow properly she gave him the kid sized one.

After Maria gave birth, Red withdrew like the baby was a poison. Or like she was and was afraid of hurting everyone. He tried to calm her, would nod her over while he was holding the baby but she stayed firmly away.

He wasn't insulted, mostly sad that she obviously didn't trust herself and he was seeing her as more of a friend now. He didn't want her to be afraid and didn't want her to withdraw, all their progress gone.

The first Jackson monthly gathering after, he made sure she was at least two drinks in before grabbing her away from Joel and drawing her off to the side to dance. She was stiff and kept looking back to his brother, but quickly he had her spinning and distracted and smiled when she even laughed at one point. It was a win when by the end of it, she was relaxed and he grinned.

He was dropping stuff off at the bar when he noticed one of the groups were getting rowdy. One of the newcomers got an attitude with Tommy, getting into his face, obviously drunk and hostile. He was big, bigger than him, but that had never stopped him before. The number of times he'd gotten in trouble in bars because of this exact thing was not a small number.

Things were about to turn into a fight when suddenly Red was there, kicking out the back of the guy's knee and grabbing his hair only to slam his head into the bar top with enough force he heard something crack.

Tommy hadn't even noticed she was nearby. By the time it processed, she was already kneeling on the man's chest, a knife to his throat and growling out, "Don't ever even think about touching him. Get the fuck out."

He'd never seen a man of that size scurry out so fast. And he knew he should admonish her for pulling a knife out on someone, for getting blood on the bar top, for threatening people. But he could only grin and shake his head before throwing his arm around her shoulder and leading her out.

"Come on, trouble, let's go raid Joel's coffee stash."

[fishii28]

fishii my bby my sweetheart i hope u know that i see all ur vent posts and all i just don't know how to comfort you and im rlly sorry for that. but if we lived together/nearby id let hug u when ur sad and let you rest ur head on my shoulder even if you didn't want to talk about it id be there beside you i love you and i want you to be alw happy im not good at this talking thing sorry

its ok if u dont answe this i just wanted u to know this ily pls take care of urself/gen

awww shree...

it's alright if you dont know how to react/comfort, thats perfectly okay by me. trust, one day, we'll meet irl, and those hugs will be worth everything. just the mere thought of a hug from you makes me feel better already ml.

theres things i wanna talk about but dont know how, so you dont need to worry about those, i promise you're making me happy and i want you to be always happy too. god bless you, you're such a sweetheart 💝 and i know you find it difficult to comfort an whatnot, so i think you did a really good job and im so proud that you gave it a go 💝💝

i will always answer asks, especially yours. i love u too and i will try my best. you take care too, yeah? cant have you getting sick when im not around to take care of you ;)

[clever-and-unique-name]

As someone who's been through a lot of DID tumblr community, especially because you used to make infographics and talk about your DID and such here often... IDK, I don't want to ask if you regret talking about your DID or your parts so much, because that's too broad, but like.

[internal grumbling and vague gesturing]

Liiiiike... Hrgh. As a slightly adultier-adult than me, how do you balance having all this DID stuff online and also just like, being a 'normal' person in the world and having a good life where you're married and happy and all that?

For me/us, I feel like a lot of thinking and over-analyzing about DID has been detrimental overall, but it also got us to this place where we *don't* (need to) do that most of the time, and we're able to be pretty blurry and really only talk about DID/'parts stuff' if it becomes A Problem or something Comes Up.

I guess we're asking for your #HotTakes about this, if you'd like to share :)

(If you don't, that's totally okay, don't worry about it. Or you can tell us privately if you like! Just figured we'd ask, because like, nuance and we like your opinions/worldview a lot <3)

Hi Anni ilu :>

I'm answering this at work because I just Can't Resist but I'm not sure if the guys at home will feel the same so uh. That's a disclaimer I guess

Yearsss ago when we made this blog, we were specifically trying to #Figure Ourselves Out. That's explicitly what we made this blog for, to record and try to recognize patterns as we came to terms with having dissociated parts. And we were unemployed at the time (and also out of school? I think?) so we had a LOT of free time to be occupied with this stuff.

Which, as you mentioned, led to us reading a lot of books on the topic of dissociation and making Content about it. And also writing a lottt of more personal diary-like posts.

I don't regret that era per se; we went through a lottt of growth in that time, and it's nice to have it as a time capsule to look back on now (especially with the like, memory issues, ya know.) I don't mind it being Out There "publicly" either; we're pretty strict on what doxx-able info goes here, and our online presence is kept strictly from our irl one, with only a couple highly trusted exceptions.

HOWEVER

I do regret putting so much personal information here without fully understanding how vulnerable it made me. I didn't understand that talking about the struggles certain parts were going through would leave those parts open to people (with mostly good intentions) approaching us with commiseration and comfort--things our younger parts especially were starved for.

At that time we were quite isolated. We didn't have the skills to identify when we were fawning, or set boundaries when we did realize it. (This was before therapy.) And not everyone we let emotionally close to us should have been--something we unfortunately wouldn't learn until much later.

So like. Posting about DID in a general, informative way was pretty chill, and I wish I had the time and energy to do some of that again. But as far as publicly exploring our parts? We now have a pretty hard rule about only sharing things that have been resolved, or setting boundaries when needed.

But I feel you so much about mostly just being blurry unless something is a Problem or needs addressing. (Although it doesn't have to be big, it can be as simple as like "Why do I feel sad...oh, Reki is nearby and needs cuddles, got it.") It's just not as important now to Figure Everything and Everyone Out. I got a job to do and bills to pay. ;)

- Tris

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen,

i’m a younger lgbt, and i was wondering how you find a community. i bounce around a lotta groups that’re around my age, but i keep finding myself wishing i had older people to ask questions to or to learn from, and i’m not sure where to even begin finding those people. do you have any help?

thanks !

Hi and the first step is knowing you are craving a trusted community you can relate to and feel safe in. The LGBT+ Community can be a bit of a misnomer because there is no way we ALL share one thing but I understand that when we stand together it feels like on some level other letters of the acronym "get" who we are.

Sometimes we crave the wide open boundaries of a gay pride event or a group that encompasses all of "us". Other times we really yearn for those with whom we share the most in common, common experiences, similar stories and maybe even who we most look like or see ourselves in. Listen to yourself above all others and be honest with who makes you feel the most seen, what people recognize you for who you are. Don’t mistake the unbridled praise of strangers for being “like them” for how you really relate and feel about yourself as it pertains to others. 

Start with groups like PFLAG or Local Pride groups who work in or near your home. These are great volunteer opportunities and you will get exposed to a variety of people. Getting involved with nonprofits of any variety where other LGBT+ people might be found (animal rescue, food banks, elder outreach, or environmental causes to name a few) can help you expand your friend group, give you great resume fodder and introduce you to a large variety of people and experiences. 

As you learn and grow and share time with people you will be able to narrow down the people with whom you most relate and start to put energy into that particular community. Start or join a book club. Check FB ( old fashioned but still useful) for groups that match your interests or check out apps that give you the option of friendship searches. Search for elder groups online that fit within your boundaries of comfort and reach out to them.

Lesbians might have a regional OLOC or gay men often have local “Gay man social and support groups” (google it for your area or a nation wide list).   There are likely several queer social groups nearby, even in mid-sized cities.   You get the idea.

Online connections are a thing if you are regionally isolated. Join discords, FB or even tiktok groups to find others who fit your needs. Please be careful, cautious and skeptical with anyone on line. Having an alertness to the fact that anyone can be anyone on the internet will keep you safe but finding those spaces can be a start to IRL groups or people in your area. 

I hope this helps.

[shilo-sumac]

(( OOC Post! edited last 1/7/2025 ))

I saw someone have a separate post about the norms of the world their muse is in (I'm so sorry I forget who) and I thought that would be a good idea! uh. this may be a text wall and more may be added. I love my HCs im sorry. ))

There are small basic animals in her universe, such as pollinator species (moths, bees, ect), fish, and small near the bottom of the food chain animals (mice, fish, other bugs, small birds) To me this makes sense because there are both plant Pokemon and normal plants in the actual canon, and stuff needs to pollinate somehow lmao. There are no large animals, this niche is only filled by Pokemon.

Killing Pokemon to consume is frowned upon in many regions. There are still people who do, but it's viewed similarly to how an American would view eating a pet animal. Meat is made in labs and is indistinguishable from the meat from our universe on a taste and nutrition level.

Pokemon have varying levels of sentience. Most Pokemon have a basic understanding of the ideas of what a human is trying to convey, with Pokemon (and their humans) gaining more understanding from each other as their bond grows. Some Pokemon are on a close level to humans, and some perhaps even more so, though this is not confirmed.

The "power of friendship" is a real force in her Pokemon world. The more love you have for your partners the stronger you and your team are, though of course training and strategy is also important. Building bonds with your Pokemon also allow both trainer and Pokemon to understand each other better.

Rarely, people can directly understand Pokemon as if they are speaking common language, but this is very rare and usually something they are born with. Usually, trainers and Pokemon can get a basic idea about what theyre communicating to each other once they know each other well, depending on individuals.

I have a whole post about how pokeballs and the box system works here , basically they give them a little mini enjoyable environment :D

Pokeballs will not work unless the Pokemon has at least a tiny bit of want to be captured. Masterballs are hugely frowned upon

There are no dogs or cats in universe. The words "dog" and "cat" (ect) are used just as descriptive terms for certain mons. Hopefully that makes sense?

My HCs are a combination of the anime, games and occasionally small bits of the manga, with the largest focus on games. I also mix in irl animal facts. Because I am the animal version of Shilo's encyclopedia.

Some things specifically about Muse, May Be Updated In Future!

While unable to directly translate, she is strangely good at being able to tell what a Pokemon is trying to communicate.

Shilo gives off odd vibes. Usually people get used to her but many will feel the need to avoid her, as if something is off. On the other hand, Pokemon are naturally drawn to her and tend to trust her.

She human. Mostly. As for the details, I hope to one day be good enough to reveal them well, lmao.

Shilo is autistic as fuck and sometimes kinda annoying. Her special interest is Pokemon and she is basically a walking Pokedex.

Shilo's sanctuary is on a small unnamed island nearby Sinnoh. Technically it isn't a part of any region. She works there mainly alone (technically some of her Pokemon act as staff willingly). The facility itself is small but the island itself is large enough to comfortably fit many many Pokemon.

Shilo wants to befriend at least one of every single species of Pokemon. She knows this is unrealistic. She will try anyway.

Shilo has dissociative identity disorder, some anxiety issues, minor PTSD, possible DID, and some major imposter syndrome

She's not very good at making people friends and her new Rotomblr friends are very novel to her.

Her childhood was mildly traumatic, so she doesn't want to visit Unova again, but is happy to explore any other region, and often does.

About some side characters and Pokemon:

she doesnt remember how old she is exactly but she's near her early to mid 20s

As of December 2024, Shilo has started to suspect she can heal wounds that appear lethal and she has even proven that she can grow back teeth. She is trying not to think about what this implies.

Rin is the first Pokemon Shilo befriended. She has a scar over her left eye due to Pokemon hunters when she was young. She is more powerful than the average Zoroark, and tends to hang out in human form so she can have human privileges. She cannot speak human regardless of her form.

Alistair is her cranky roommate/helper who owes her a debt. He knows barely anything about Pokemon and they do not like him very much. He gets attacked a lot.

Char the Charizard is a rescue due to being rejected as a Charmander for use as a starter since he cannot use fire type abilities.

Her Espeon and Umbreon (Morgan and Simon, respectively ((also both female despite their names)) ) are her very good emotional support mons.

[kimkaelyn]

kaelyn!! i am dropping by with some good music and new year wishes! 🎶🎉 thank you so much for being part of my 2023 🥹 i think you're so sweet!!

if i may ask!! 🥺 (pls feel free not to answer if uncomfy!!) how was 2023 for you? what’s a favourite thing (anything) you discovered this year? do you have any reflections from the past year? any resolutions for the next? 🥹

Oh my gosh, shotorus!!!! 🥹🥹🥹💗💗💗 thank you so much for your kind words. I am glad you were apart of my 2023 as well! Cheers to next year🥂

This is such a great question and it made me pause and think for a good while (I’m typing this out in my notes app lol) I haven’t reflected on my year yet so I’m doing it here.

I apologize for the length lmao.

Warning - mention of trauma (nothing graphic- literally just one line)

My 2023 was an interesting and exciting year, but also one of great challenges. Regardless, I am so proud of my accomplishments this year. I left my teen years behind and entered my twenties! Now I gotta figure out how to be an actual adult LMAO. On that note, I quit my toxic job of almost two years and was unemployed for a good two months until I started working at my current job. I traveled outside of the country for the first time. I spent 3 weeks in July with my Uncle traveling Europe. This trip was the highlight of my year for so so so so many reasons. It was also my first time leaving home and being separated from my parents for a long period of time.

Being away from home wasn’t as bad as I was scared it was going to be—I actually loved it. While on my trip, I learned so much about myself as a person and figured out what I want in life for myself. I actually learned how to think for myself instead of others this year, which is a big deal because I am always so worried about others that I never take the time to take care of myself.

On this trip, I had a lot of epiphanies. My family isn’t perfect—we have our issues like everyone else……but this year I actually started to sit down and start to unpack some of my unresolved childhood trauma. It’s nothing graphic, trust me, but let’s just say that my sister and I only had each other 90% of the time. My sister and I have started to actually talk about our experiences with one another and are slowly coming to terms with it and heal. I am so proud of this. We are making progress that should have started years ago, but it’s not too late. There is hope!

As for resolutions….i want to do better—by myself and others. I want to actually put myself first in some cases and do what’s best for me and my mental health instead of catering to others. Does that make me selfish? I don’t know….

My overall goal is to get accepted into university and get started on my future—on my own two feet and not relying on others, at least for now. I want to be independent for the first time in my life. I’m TERRIFIED, but I know that I will be okay.

I have a great support system—I got all of y’all here, my family, my boyfriend, and my irl friends. I am so thankful to all of you, even if we don’t talk much and only interact by liking each others posts. Meeting my mutuals on here has been a highlight of my year, and I am so happy to go into the New Year with you all. Regardless of if you live nearby or on the other side of the word, I am super thankful to each and everyone of you. I cannot put it into words. I love you all and I pray that you are blessed in 2024

💗🫶🏻✨

[tomatoluvr69]

useless complaint post literally you don’t have to bother reading this it will just help me to rant a bit

This is sooooo not a real issue I’m just in the throes of pmdd but like I have a bunch of semi-expected (but way earlier than I’d thought) unemployed time so I’m using its alignment with the warm weather to go backpacking/live out of my car in [nearby national park and national forests] but right now I feel zero enthusiasm and I really hope it’s not gonna suck bc my heart’s not in it…like if I’m kind of doing it out of obligation bc it’s unusual to have such an extended span of time off when you’re an adult, then am I going to have the drive to get thru the parts that suck, like the exhaustion of steep trail days, the days when it storms so hard you have zero dry gear, etc. but really the part that I’m the most trepidatious about is the loneliness. But it’s so weird bc I’m struggling socially here and I really think some extended alone time would help?? But it’s always hard and I don’t want to lololol. Honestly what would help this the most is to just wait until after my fucking period. But as it is right now I feel like I’m just going thru the motions. If I could fucking live in my house for the equivalent amount of time without my social life encroaching I absolutely would but I’m so burnt out from my close friends leaving and from my last dear relationship here being at times really tough (it’s one that feels like my well-being rides on it— when it’s good, I’m on top of the world, when it’s not I’m hurt and confused and crawling out of my own skin). I still have a community here but it feels like it’s my roommates’ world, and I’m a guest whose presence is like…anodyne at best? And I really think I’ve just latched onto the idea of my trip as a vague mental escape hatch and haven’t really grasped the idea of the fact that I’ll still be present in my ailing brain and treacherous body when I go on the trip— I’m not just taking a nap from my (admittedly spoiled little baby) problems. And when I did the same thing for 3 or 4 weeks last summer I was dropped off & picked up, which created a really nice incentive to stay on trail— to leave, I’d have had to somehow communicate & coordinate with the relatives who’d agreed on a set date to come pick me up, i.e. effectively trapping me in the woods so I’d stay when I got all grumpy or sad or began semi-hallucinating human voices or was ready to throw it all away to get my hands on a slice of pepperoni pizza and a big old kombucha lol.

Anyways this is such not a real problem but me ol’ paranoid ass is convinced a whole passel of my irls have this blog’s url so I can’t freely complain about what’s really bothering me, which is that I’m starting to see harbingers of the devastating dissolution of my closest relationship. Or, even worse, my relegation to a much more distant connection. And I’m trying desperately to convince myself I should stay in this fucking town, because I’m suuuuuuuuper prone to just fleeing when I start to feel [inaudible], which is a super unsustainable way to live my life and o know it’s not [city] I’m trying to flee but myself which scientists are telling me I can’t physically do…but is that the truth?? Or is the truth that I actually do need a clean break from [redacted]…or is that just a convenient lie I’m telling myself so I can flee again. Or is THAT a convenient lie I’m telling myself so that I can keep my head in the sand and keep [redacted]. It’s so cool how you can’t trust your own heart and mind and you might just suffer from uncertainty forever and you’ll die chasing happiness with the grass always greener but also like pmdd and I don’t really want to go on this trip but I think I must. I think…