#but no matter how hard she tried it never appeased lolth LOLLL
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really love rogue haella but i think she’s probably a cleric of lolth tbh
#i love the themes of faith in this game so i thought what if haella is so devout that harms her right#what if she was a bit of an outcast no matter how devoted she was no matter how much she debased herself in the name of lolth#her scars aren’t typical fire burn scars but rather corrosive venom from spiders in the underdark right#like no matter how much she loves she has this physical reminder that it’s never enough and that she will constantly be harmed#i don’t know how the acid incident happens but i think it happens when she’s younger and i think instead of harming her devotion#it increases it?? she’s like oh yes these scars are a testament to my love of the spider queen or w/e she says idk#whatever nickname lolth has#anyways eventually she gets disillusioned and leaves the under dark (don’t know how this happens yet bc as i’ve mentioned she is quite#devoted)#anyways she leaves the under dark and is so so so ashamed#of her scars her faith and her lingering fear of lolth#it’s fear and love ?? wrapped together#and she’s trying to figure out how to leave that behind?? but also can’t entirely do so#anyways spider trauma. this is how she relates to me. we both have spider trauma.#instead of unholy reverence with a health amount of fear maybe haella has always felt uncertain … and she has tried to overcompensate for it#but no matter how hard she tried it never appeased lolth LOLLL#i’m like trying to make sense but i don’t have a whole lot of dnd knowledge like i’m winging it#and uknow maybe she comes from a family that is EXTREMELY devoted & loyal to lolth#and haella has never been able to match it… or maybe she does but something Is Not Quite Right about her it
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