#but no everything is anakin's fault!
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see the reason why I hold obi-wan accountable, and wish more people did so, for how he raised anakin and completely fucking fumbled it (canonically), is because he was given a child, a traumatised child who gave the jedi everything, gambled upon his own life to get them to coruscant, helped save naboo - and then this confident, precarious, kind child becomes an emotionally unstable, insecure and desperately starved for praise adult
and who was the main adult raising him during that time? obi-wan!
but to back it up... I have small children in my life - younger relatives, who look up and trust me. I have been in a position of authority over other children as a tutor.
and I just look at obi-wan and think:
how could anyone be so unkind to a child as to not cater for their needs?
obi-wan knows, for ten years, that anakin's mum is still enslaved. does shitall to help. he does nothing tangible to prevent anakin from seeing palpatine, or stop the bullying, or meet anakin where he is at and it is just-
callous and uncaring.
obi-wan cared more about his reputation as a perfect jedi than he did anakin. or, at the very least, that is how he acted, that is what anakin thought.
obi-wan is a great jedi, but objectively a shitty friend and mentor. I'd work with him, but I wouldn't befriend him
anyway be kind to children
if compassion defines jedi, as it should but does not in the PT and which is arguably their greatest flaw, anakin would never have become darth vader
#jedi critical#star wars#anakin skywalker#obi-wan kenobi critical#that dude had actual ISSUES let him be the living paradox that a great jedi could be quite shitty in his interpersonal relationships#but no everything is anakin's fault!#because of who he became!#me @ people who write obi-wan: stop erasing his canonical flaws particularly his emotional constipation or istg -
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no way she's alive ?? yea those mental health breaks because social media makes people suck are wild huh
#star wars#clone wars#star wars fanart#ahsoka tano#captain rex#anyway i bring you this a) because i'm going back to my tcw roots of late and b) because i miss them terribly#as you can see because i can't handle reality i put her in the novel design#cause wdym they split up after order 66 haha what no that didn't happen you're crazy#read it however you want idc ^^)b any interpretation of their dynamic is the best one i think#yea anyway in this amount of time i've gotten a lot better at anatomy and i don't really care about social media anymore#but i have like nowhere to put my art now so *shrug*#star wars the clone wars#artists on tumblr#i've wanted to do one of those post-type drawings and i am .-+ too lazy +-. to color it sooo#signature got cropped sigh. whatever#if you see a mistake no you don't. you know the drill#also i finally watched bad batch season 3 around christmastime and hewiutgeh.#singlehandedly took the show from a 4 to a 10 for me so thx dave filoni we love u as always >>>#lowk kinda missed it here *gazes fondly at the bot spam and screaming and cursing in my feed*#btw i have never used instagram in my life so if this is formatted wrong it's your fault. bye#someone tell me whether or not i should tag this as rxsk because i am very much debating#does tumblr even like them anymore ?? i know ao3 does they're still going crazy over there (>1k works God bless)#“bro's first post back and she's yapping her head off” cmon you know me by now anyway can we talk about season 7 ahsoka#i find no fault in her. she is perfect. she is the greatest version of any star wars character ever at all#no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told her about fives. no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told echo#ok that's enough bye i'll wait for this to get four notes at most and three of them being comments screaming at me#one more thing uhh suspend your disbelief since anakin liked the post. rots didn't happen and everything is fine !!#my art
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nobody follows me here so i can freely scream into tbe void :33
i'm constantly plagued by that scene from RoTS with ani and padme on the balcony on coruscant.... they're so genuine and so silly and padme is So Excited to start spending the rest of their lives together,,, and it all goes downhill so fast ,,, truly doomed by the narrative . anakin does everything he can to potentially prevent padme's death but it ultimately plays out exactly how his visions showed,, and the dichotomy of padme dying in white and brining new life to the world, while anakin is ultimately experiencing a rebirth into someone who will bring mass destruction,,,, and how the paths eventually converge down the line and return balance to the force i am so fucking emotional over them all the time. bwah
#anakin skywalker#star wars#padme amidala#they loved eachother so FUCKING MUCH i just want them to be happy :(((#my partner got me on the whole 'watch star wars in chronological order' train and clone wars into ROTS broke me dude. it broke me#he wouldve done anything for her. he tried to do everything for her. he was her everything. his efforts to save her drove them apart#and its all palpatines fault. fucker
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I like to think that Obi-Wan has weird plants that he keeps on the ship during the war because after living with Qui-Gon for so long it's weird not to have any plants and no Cody he doesn't even like plants why would you even think that--
#chit chat#he has something sturdy and hard to kill on the negotiator because they don't have a consistent schedule#but if it gets neglected for too long it WILL try to murder the next person who goes into Kenobi’s rooms#i also think he cried the first time he killed one of Qui-Gon’s plants#it wasn’t his fault#qui gon's plants are finicky and prissy and hard to keep alive outside of their native environments#but qui gon is dead and now his stupid fucking plant is dead and everything is WRONG and--#and anakin comes back from his first field trip as a jedi to see obi wan on the floor with a dead vine and in absolute tears#anyway...
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“Everything is Anakin’s/Obi-Wan’s/the Jedi’s fault!” Have you considered that maybe people and even entities like the Jedi are incapable of perfection and that maybe they all contributed to Anakin’s fall in their own unintentional ways, which does not make them bad or evil or wrong
#except palpatine everything actually IS his fault#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#Jedi#revenge of the sith#star wars#pilotskywalker#key’s crazed ramblings#obi wan and anakin
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When you realise that the moment Osha puts on that helmet, its not just about finding the space to focus on the Force without outside influences, its also about her shutting out the world around her and disappearing into her own headspace.
#that moment was soooo good!#having her breathing echo Vader was very clever#not just because “Dark Side”#but also to show that like Anakin she had so much potential to be Good-#- but slowly found fault in everything/everyone around her#- instead of realising she has to work on herself#she literary disappeared into her own headspace#analysis#star wars#tv shows#things i like#the acolyte
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truly fascinating to see someone say you cant blame palpatine for being evil because thats his narrative purpose but anakin is worse because he chose that path as if he just. woke up one day and said "hmmm i think today i will become evil" regardless of the 400 page essay in there somewhere about the nuance of his choice after years of textbook grooming and manipulation and trauma. like im obsessed with this idea that palpatine just blinked into existence one day old and fully 100% evil with zero events leading up to that and therefore gets a pass for being evil but if you get manipulated for 23 years WELL maybe you shouldve just been better at cognitive behavioral therapy have you considered that
#LIKE THEYRE BOTH VILLAINS. TO BE CLEAR.#obv anakin made bad choices and reaped what he sowed like girl thats The Point 😭#i understand 'choosing to be evil is worse' but its so funny to say 'aw man we cant hate sheev he was just written that way' ????? HELLO?#me when im sheev and im born to an affluent political family but i was born into the narrative as evil so its NOT my fault :(#sorry not everything can be spn where the narrative exists within itself as a concept RHSKJGNSDKVJHSDG#anyway this isnt a conversation starter its just hilarious to me and im trying to keep it vague bc i dont wanna target anyone love and ligh#unrebloggable post just in case <3
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ok so. gotten into star wars recently. and would just like to say that padme is finduilas if túrin had liked her back.
like. for those who have not read the children of húrin. please allow me to explain the situation.
pov you're an elven princess of a hidden kingdom. you had a fiancé but he went to fight in a battle later known as 'Unnumbered Tears' (it didn't go well) and never returned. but then it turns out he was taken captive and he's escaped and he's back! and he's brought with him a human he met on the way. your dad lets the human stay because your fiancé vouches for him. the human wears all black, introduces himself as 'Bloodstained, son of Ill-fate', and the first thing he does is ask the smiths to reforge his CLEARLY cursed sword, which he renames 'Iron of Death'. it's described as 'though ever black its edges shone with pale fire'. you fall in love with the human. you are not even a little discouraged when ur (ex-)fiancé reveals that the human is cursed by the local dark lord to bring ruin and destruction wherever he goes.
anyway, the padme amidala energy.....
#star wars#anidala#padme#silmarillion#also yeah anakin is turin but that goes without saying#kings of 'its not their fault thats just what being in ur twenties is like ://'#and also 'destroyed everything and everyone they loved bc the local dark lord is personally invested in ruining their life'#tbf to turin he never willingly served morgoth#but then tbf to anakin he never married his sister
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This..... breaks. My fucking heart
Twitter | Instagram
#every now and then i just get so sad about star wars#yes anakin was a victim in a way. he was let down. the council built their downfall with him#but also#anakin betrayed everyone he knew#he didn't think about r2 or threepio#he killed his wife#he tried to kill his best friend#he imploded in on himself and ruined his life and his future and his relationships and he was alone#he needed to reach out. but he needed someone to offer their hand first#he is the peak character#it wasn't his fault. everything was his fault. he betrayed everyone. he was betrayed.
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It just bums me out how much of SW fandom clearly doesn’t appreciate the levels of magnificent bastardy that Palpatine achieved as a villain when they bitch about so much being the Jedi Order’s fault. As if the Jedi should have just looked harder under some couch cushions and then they would have found the solid evidence they could use to go after him and the Senate.
Palpatine was too smart for that! No Sith lord had ever aimed so high and achieved so much, and he only did it by playing a long game that started before Anakin was even born. People have to understand that when Dooku tells Obi-Wan that a Sith controls the Senate, that’s hard for him to believe because it is absolutely ridiculous and hard to believe! The Jedi don’t understand why the dark side clouds their awareness because the Sith have become masterful at hiding their presence, which was not the case throughout known history. It would truly be like hearing that Biden’s administration actually are all Satanists who traffic and eat children. Palpatine’s extremely powerful and cunning and unlike anything they’re used to dealing with, otherwise they might seriously consider that Sidious could have accomplished this without the Jedi having any idea. And where do you even begin investigating such a thing when it’s been covered up so well?
The Jedi were always gonna be outmatched against someone like Sidious because a Sith’s whole thing is amassing wealth, influence, and power, and Sidious was probably the best there ever was at it. The Jedi are the opposite, they’re not meant to have those things, and Sidious ended up with too much control of the government for them to have any real power to act. (Probably even if they had complete knowledge of everything, which they never did.) It makes sense that just a couple Sith can bring “imbalance” to the Force when you consider that the use of the dark side is inherently an imbalance of power and a destructive influence in the world this way.
You don’t have to scapegoat anyone else. Palpatine needed his apprentice and other pawns to move around but he really did almost all of it himself. He worked so hard and deserves the hate for his efforts, he really was that bad. :(
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'obi-wan is such a poor little tragic meow meow'
me, vibrating: obi-wan dug his own grave and he KNOWS it, stop erasing obi-wan's explicit narrative role in creating darth vader. he knows he fucked up when raising anakin, he did fuck up when raising anakin, he DID fail anakin. it's a pretty explicit part of the PT and OT.
them: obi-wan never did anything wrong and anakin, the child, was simply too difficult for obi-wan, the grown ass adult. everything is anakin's fault and obi-wan suffers the most out of every star wars character
me: *throws up my hands in the air* look at what you did to the perfectly flawed complex failed mentor figure. you woobified him into a 2D cariacature, look OSP agrees with me: 'great character, not so great mentor'
#I like obi-wan but woobified 'never did anything wrong' obi-wan makes my blood boil#ugh#obi wan kenobi#this isn't even critical it's just pointing out his canonical flaws#star wars#anakin skywalker
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“ Why do people hate things being Jedi critical? It’s okay if they’re flawed.”
There’s flawed and then there’s presenting the idea the in universe religious minority who essentially have to fucking do everything as narratively ‘flawed’ bc they don’t appease everybody essentially. Be it Anakin, be it their philosophy, etc and correlate to the idea of how that leads to their fall. Most ‘Jedi critical’ points just assigns a unusual level of onus on them for simply existing. Jedi are human/human-like so we know they’re flawed to a point but when they’re accessory to slavery, accuse them of child taking, or whatever points and ignore context, it’s not being critical. Y’all just wanna slander.
Whats actually annoying is how this fandom & this franchise can look at this religious minority group (composing a lot of PoCs & allusions to other cultures) who get literally persecuted by a politician who created a entire army called Stormtroopers, which is right on the nose for Nazi allegories, and go “lets craft ideas & stories that suggest they’re at fault for really existing & not being perfect paragons of good.” This is the same fandom to say the Sith made some good “points” despite being a part of the problem, ignore the Mandalorian’s weird ass system of government, and find ways to sympathize with characters who participate in murder & genocide because they’re hot (Anakin, Kallus, Maul).
And to top it all off, the story had them killed via mind control to shoot them in the back by people they bonded with for maximum hurt & efficiency after fabricating a war using OTHERS.
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Can I ask what deep seated flaws they had?
Because every time I see this brought up it always ends up being either not a flaw at all, something some other faction did, or 'human' error type stuff, which is unreasonable to expect any group to lack.
Before answering, and only do so if you wish to, I wish to note my stance on the following traditional answers:
The Republic being corrupt is not their fault.
Anakain being a fascist speciest is not their fault.
Anakin wanting to both be a Jedi & get married is not their fault.
The Sith wanting to kill them & corrupting people is not their fault.
They had no means of magically liberating slaves everywhere & had people working to undermine slavery across the Galaxy.
The Jedi's advice of not letting despair & fear consume you when worried or grieving is not bad advice. It is actually quite typical for most religions & especially when one is being given no details.
The Order stood for thousands of years. They mixed species & cultures, former slaves and traumatized victims with those who were basically born into the Order. They gave a multitude of life skills from diplomacy to mechanics, to piloting & allowed people to freely leave or return if they so wished.
Despite there only being ten thousand in a massive densely populate galaxy. They still labored to stop wars, oppression, corruption, slavery and genocide to the best of their abilities in the places they could reach.
Every other Jedi for thousands of years did not become a genocidal Sith because they couldn't be an obsessive possessive and a Jedi at the same time.
So barring 'human' error, what deep seated flaws did they have?
Don't understand why so many SW fans seem to struggle w the fact that 'the jedi order had developed a lot of deep-seated flaws and problems that contributed to their downfall' and 'the jedi order was a force for good and their destruction was a major loss' are two concepts that fully co-exist u know
#You can do everything right and still lose#star wars#The Jedi's 'flaws' did not cause them to lose to Palpatine#Sometimes there is no winning move which is what the war was#Because it was a trap a thousand years in the making#Anakin was awful#A lot of that can be blamed on Palpatine#But Anakin was a grown ass man who should take responsibility for himself#I am ignoring Legends cos its not canon anymore#In Legends this argument is fair#Also the Mandalorians had it coming not the Jedi's fault the idiots kept making war on them and being assholes for life
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I still hate you though..
Anakin x f!reader
Contains: smut, oral (m receiving), p in v
Little note: so this is my first ever fan fiction in general and english isn’t my first language. I hope you still enjoy and i would appreciate feedback!!
There he was Anakin Skywalker, he was famous in the whole Jedi Temple mainly for his looks. He was very Tall and quite muscular. Everyone liked him except for you, you kind of hated him, to you he was just annoying and a spoiled brat. As you were walking in the hallway you saw him Of course with his two friends that walked behind him like little lost puppy's. You shot him a glare. He returned that glare he didnt really like you either but would’ve never said that out-loud because of his reputation.
Today you both had to train the Younglings because you both were assigned for it. As Obi-wan told you, you were gonna have to work together with anakin you rolled your eyes and groaned, anakin reacted almost the same rubbing his temples “are you serious Obi-wan? Why do i have to work with her..?” He gave you a disgusted face. You scoffed at that “he has a point i don't wanna work with this idiot..” You said. Obi-wan breaths out it feels like he's talking to little children “yes you have to work together you guys are the best jedi’s you got this.” After Obi-wan said that he left immediately without giving you two another minute to discuss this.
A few minutes later the younglings came. As you two trained them you got in another argument. “Anakin i know what I'm doing stop interrupting the training with your useless informations.” You said annoyed “clearly you don't, your doing it completely wrong.” He said like he knows everything better. As the argument got even more heated and started using curse words you got separated by some guards and then taken to Obi-Wan. “I cant believe you two are being bad influences in front of the younglings”. You bow your head down a bit ashamed of not keeping your mouth shut.
Well now you got the punishment for it you had to clean the changing room of the training room not only that but had to do it with Anakin. As you wiped the floor you felt the glare from anakin on you and it made you a bit anxious. “Don’t glare at me like that anakin its your fault” you said trying to sound confident like always. He let out a cold laugh and answered “My fault?? You were the one teaching them wrong.” “I wasn't! You just have no idea about anything!” You said turning to him suddenly noticing how close he stood behind you almost bumping into him as you looked up in his eyes. “I can do a lot better than you!” He said “like kissing, i bet I'm a better kisser than you.” Well he probably was because you never kissed someone but that didn't stop you from saying something else right? “Pff stop lying to yourself I'm sure I'm a better kisser” you let out a slight nervous laugh. “oh yeah? Show me then” he said as he smirked knowing you would never do that anyway.
“Bet” you leaned in and put your lips on his. He was shocked but quickly gave in and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. As your both lips move against each other you were doing better than you thought maybe it was because his lips fit perfectly on yours. As the kiss deepened you put your hands in his hair. He had kissed a lot of girls in his life but you were different. There was still this anger he had for you but that slowly turned into desire. Suddenly he broke the kiss to catch his breath slowly he opened his eyes seeing how flushed you were made him smirk confidently. You opened your eyes and saw how he looked at you, it ignited a fire in you desire and anger so you crashed your lips on his again pushing him onto a bench straddling him. He was surprised at your eagerness all of the sudden. But he didn't mind at all he enjoyed it (maybe a bit to much) as he felt you on his lap he let out a soft moan against your lips. His tongue asking for entrance and you let him slide into your mouth as he started sucking a bit on your tongue. You started grinding a bit on his lap. Slowly you could feel a little bulge from under you, you knew exactly what it was.
He grabbed your ass and you let out a quiet whimper against his lips. You broke the kiss and got down on your knees. He was breathing heavily watching as u sat between his legs “oh god (y/n)” the way he groaned your name made you even more determined to make him feel good. You slowly unbuckled his pants and pushed them down. Seeing the huge bulge through his boxers makes you a bit wet. As you also pulled his boxers down his throbbing hard length sprung out and he let out a quiet whimper. Now it was on full display in front of you.
You swallowed hard as you start by touching his tip that has already been leaking some of his pre cum. He winced at your touch suddenly a lot more sensitive then before. As you lean closer you could smell the musky scent of his dick it was quite erotic to you. You start by giving his tip little kitten licks. “Don't tease me like that.. (y/n)” after you heard that you put your hand around his dick stroking it firmly. He threw his head back your soft touch made him go absolutely crazy. Then you put his length into your mouth that made him let out a strangled moan. As you started increasing the speed he came right in your mouth. It tasted quite salty and… delicious you quickly swallowed it making him look at you in awe.
“I need you Anakin” he smirked still a bit out of breath but then he pulled you up on his lap again “I'm right here darling” you slowly start to undress your pants revealing your pink panties. He chuckled at the sight “never thought you would wear pink panties” you roll your eyes “well you don't know a lot of things about me.” You wink at him and get back on his lap. “God you get me hard so quickly again..” He pulled off your shirt and looked shamelessly at your chest unclasping your bra with ease. As your breasts are revealed to him he latched on to them instantly sucking on your nipples you whimper at the feeling of his tongue twirling around them. He then starts kissing up from your chest to your neck and then to your lips capturing them in a rough kiss. As you line yourself up against his length he helped you push yourself down on him. It slightly hurt because his dick was quite big and it was your first time. you let out a sharp moan “ahh ani” he felt himself getting even harder after hearing you moan his nickname. He quickly tries to compose himself so he can move a bit faster. he was putting all his anger in each thrust and you definitely felt that. He could feel your walls clench it was an unbelievable feeling.
As you bounce on top of him he guides you with his hands on your hips. “Fuck you feel so good” he groaned out. He start kissing your neck again leaving marks that only added to the sensation “ani I'm so close..” you whimpered. “Its okay cum for me Darling” he moved one of his hands away from your hip and placed it on your aching clit as you felt him massaging it you felt yourself wanting to scream as he noticed that he started muffling your scream with his lips. He began thrusting into you slower but harder hitting all the way to your cervix, switching his pace multiple times knowing that would make you cum so hard.as you came He could feel your walls tightening around his dick making him cum a few moments later too. You could feel his hot cum spurting inside of you. He held you close against his chest as he thrusts few last times pumping all of his cum inside you before finally pulling out. Leaving you both out of breath. “You felt so good..” he said breathless. “You weren’t that bad either..but i still hate you” you said sheepishly. “Yeah yeah..i Hate you to..”
I hope you enjoyed reading!! Reblogs are very appreciated🫶🏻
#hayden christensen#anakin skywalker#anakin skywalker fanfiction#anakin skywalker smut#hayden christensen fanfiction#smut#fanfiction#anakin skywalker x reader#sam monroe#sam monroe smut#hot as hell#need that#star wars#star wars fanfiction#hayden christensen x reader#darth vader#x you smut#anakin skywalker x female reader
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"Got the Blues Back in Boston"
Chapter 1
Pairing: Modern!Anakin Skywalker x Reader
Description: Leaving behind an incompatible college and profound heartbreak on the Virginia Coast, you find yourself home again in Brookline, Massachusetts. A new opportunity presents itself to you at MIT, joining your brother ben and childhood friends/neighbors, Anakin and Ahsoka. Despite the familiarity, you discover just how much of a difference 2 years away can really make between the people you once considered family.
Warnings:f!reader, angst, jealousy, pining, smut, masturbation, mentions/descriptions of domestic abuse, cursing, drinking/drug usage, academic obsession, general obsession, hardcore partying, frats, general college bullshit
DISCLAIMER!!! READ BEFORE PROCEEDING: I’ve never been in an abusive relationship- I’ve only witnessed them. I’m an aspiring psychology major and have done a lot of research on the topic of domestic abuse/violence. This series deals with this topic HEAVILY, so be warned.
Word Count: 6.3k A/N: First chapter is up! I'm sorry it took so long, I was really hoping to nail a certain feel and aesthetic with this series, and I really hope that translates. I'm probably gonna post the playlist I listen to while writing this because it does have a lot of influence on the story and everything. Please let me know if you wish to be tagged! Requests and ask box is open, and any/all criticism is welcome! Thank you for reading and supporting me <3
masterlist.
The drive to Brookline was always a hassle. Whether it was crossing the scary bridge along the coast of Virginia or through New York City—knowing that you’d still never been—it always ached. Maybe it was because you hadn’t been home in two years—and you missed Boston.
Piled high in the back of your black Ford Focus was the last two years of your life that you could fit. You left behind everything else.
The forest that encompassed you on I-95 offered a clearer perspective on your situation. As devastating as it had been, your new beginning after high school was not quite what you expected it to be. Hampton was a lovely place; the beaches were excellent, the people friendly, and there was always something to do. Somewhere to go. You made decent money working as a cocktail waitress in a club near your apartment, which is how you met Nick.
Tall, with a handsome face and a charm that was impossible to resist, Nick was the kind of man you couldn't help but be drawn to. He had a gorgeous smile and a body sculpted from the gods. The night you met him, he smooth-talked his way into your bed, introducing himself as Nicholas, saying how he never met someone as beautiful as you. The other waitresses just didn’t compare. And the rest was history. Were you usually the type to sleep with someone on the first date (if you could call it that)? Definitely not. But something about him was so captivating.
But as the trees passed you by and your grip on your steering wheel tightened, you felt a tear fall onto your shaking hands. What happened to the Nick you loved? What went wrong? Who did you both turn into? Besides, the whole thing going south was your fault- you both knew that. You wanted too much; you let those men flirt, and you were never there for him. You never did what he asked. And you’d never amount to anything. At least, that’s what Nick always told you- and part of you was inclined to believe it.
Your heart ached at the loss. The 11-hour drive was increasingly painful by the second, only two hours in and not even through the first city. The morning sun beamed in your eye as your car trudged through the wetlands, bathed in its golden hue.1 In the distance, you could make out the skyline of DC, the first city you needed to travel through.
It was nice in DC. You had attended a few times in the past. On one of the many family vacations you took throughout the years, you, your parents, and the Skywalkers had all made a trip together to that specific destination. You intentionally took the longer way home to ensure you remember it all. Besides, the Delaware Peninsula was far from interesting. And you needed the time to think- and probably mentally prepare yourself for what you’d arrive at.
The most exciting part of the trip was Baltimore, Philly, and NYC back to back. Despite sitting in mind-numbing traffic a lot of times, there was always something to look at. And people-watching was always your favorite. You felt your heart hurt, wishing for the opportunities that these cities could bring. As New York City and Hartford disappeared in the rearview mirror, the approaching Boston skyline sent a shiver down your spine, your breath catching in your throat. And there was the traffic.
You shakily reached for a cigarette out of your purse as your car came to a stop, breaking your own promise that you wouldn’t smoke in the car you bought. A wide smile spread across your face as you lit the cigarette, your body relaxing as the sweet scent filled the air. Naturally, your mind went straight to Anakin. Whenever you tasted cigarettes, it was impossible not to think of him and the bittersweet moments you shared. After all, he started your bad habit. Once again, your hands shook. Did he ever think about you while you were gone? You were close, but he was also an incredible pain in your ass. And what if he and Padme suddenly got back together? Ahsoka would have told you, right? Maybe.
She would have told you.
The familiar streets of Brookline outstretched before you, energetic and alive, instantly flooding your mind with cheerful memories that brought a grin to your face. Your smile widened across your face as you glanced at the familiar sports bar on the corner, reminiscing about the laughter and friendships you developed during your time as a hostess in high school. You turned the corner at the next light, a quiet laugh escaping your lips as the vibrant lights of the movie theater danced before your eyes, eliciting the sweet nostalgia of your god-awful first kiss. You weren’t expecting little Tommy to stick his tongue down your throat in 7th grade. As you approached Emerson Garden, a bittersweet ache tugged at your heart, memories of laughter and familiarity flooding your mind—the memories it held.
The streetlights flickered as you turned down the most familiar road of all. You bit your lip in anticipation and ignored the urge to light another cigarette right then and there- your mom didn’t need to know about your filthy habit (although she smoked, too). The soft melodies of Radiohead and the laughter echoed from the back porch as you parked in the driveway. Gazing at the house with a smile, you felt a hint of excitement about reclaiming your old room. It had been far too long.
The porch light turned on, and out ran Ahsoka, not even giving you a chance to turn your car off.
“You motherfucker!” She yelled, opening the car door and throwing her arms around you as you laughed, “It’s been so fucking long!”
You looked back at her, pulling the beanie off her head and giggling, “Well, don’t tell the others, but I only came back for you.”
“Shut up,” she stands up, pulling you up with her, “Get your ass inside.” You laugh and salute her, following her through the familiar corridors of your house and into the kitchen.
“Shut the FUCK up. She’s real!” Your mom squealed and quickly set her wine down, embracing you as if you’d be gone in an instant. “Never leave me like that again.” She pulls away and laughs, her tone laced with a hint of seriousness.
“Never.” You promised, smiling wide before your dad caught your attention, tossing you a beer and shooting a wink in your direction. Although he wasn't typically sentimental, you could tell he missed you.
“Where are the boys?” you asked, opening the can and drinking the bitter liquid. “Jesus Christ, Miller Lite never gets better, does it?” You squinted your eyes in disgust, giggling at your own reaction.
“Nope, thought I taught you better than that.” He wraps an arm around your shoulders, kissing the top of your head. “They’re outside with Cliegg and Shmi.”
“Okay, sweet, I’ll go say hello.” You motion towards the back door, catching a glimpse of Ben from the back porch.
“Hey,” He grabs your arm before you can turn to leave. “We missed you. I hope you’re okay. Ahsoka didn’t give us any details, but she said things really went to shit in Hampton. I just want to make sure you know you always have a home here, and we will do what we can to make it better, okay?”
You nodded and smiled before practically running out the back door, forgetting exactly what you were throwing yourself into.
“You fucker, you cheated!” Anakin yells, throwing down his cards as Ben takes a swig of his beer and laughs.
“I’m afraid you just have an awful poker face, Anakin.” He sets his cards down and stands up, turning to face you with a smile. “There she is. About time you graced us with your presence.”
You give a shrug before embracing Ben tightly, fighting back tears welling up in your eyes. You and Ben were close, and you knew that if he found out what happened, it would devastate him. He and Anakin were always there to keep you safe, but you had a distinct sibling connection. He knew you too well, always able to read your thoughts with uncanny accuracy.
“You okay?” He pulled away and whispered, searching your sad eyes.
“Yeah, just tired. Long ass drive. Took the long way this time.” You sniffled, and he nodded in response, letting go and pulling a chair out between Anakin and what you assumed was Ahsoka’s chair. With a quiet thank you on your lips, you raised your beer to your mouth and took a long, satisfying gulp, feeling a gentle buzz settle in.
“So, you’re back.” Anakin avoids eye contact, shuffling the cards before him as Ahsoka stifles a laugh. “Took you long enough.”
“Anakin!” Shmi scolds, noticing how his lips turn into a smirk, “You know he missed you, Y/N. He’s just a sore loser. Ben’s kicked his ass at poker three times now.”
“Ah,” You nod, a grin spreading across your face, “He just doesn’t want to admit he sucks at poker- OW!” You feel a sudden impact as Anakin's foot forcefully meets the top of yours, causing you to shoot a glare in his direction. His eyes remain fixed on the cards, completely disregarding your look, while he bites down on his lip, trying to contain his amusement. "Sore loser indeed," you mutter under her breath, shaking her head in annoyance as you pick up the cards he handed you.
Of course, the hand was awful. You weren’t sure how you’d make it out of this alive. Family poker nights were a tradition started by your parents and the Skywalkers, which you were all quickly introduced to by your 10th birthday. Once you hit double digits, you were old enough to gamble. Ahsoka was always the best, but you had a habit of making a comeback when people least expected it. And you had a great poker face- Anakin did not. Anakin had a habit of wearing every thought and emotion on his sleeve his entire life. Shmi always swore it would be his downfall- as a child, you thought she was just talking about his downfall at poker. But once you got older, you quickly understood.
When you discovered his breakup with Padme, you felt like maybe part of you understood. But you never really knew why they broke up. Everyone just told you, “They were better off as friends,” and that was all you knew. Did you want the real story? Absolutely. But part of you was worried about what he’d tell you. You knew better than to get involved in Anakin’s love life, and deep down, a part of you didn’t want to taint the image you had always had of him in your mind.
“Heard you finally got into MIT,” Anakin breaks the silence and your train of thought as he pushes a couple of chips into the center of the table, “Congratulations, although I’ve never heard of anyone going to MIT for an Archeology degree.” You roll your eyes and sigh.
“There it is.” You giggle as everyone groans, setting their cards down as they fold.
“There’s what?” He shoots you a disapproving glare.
“You’ve never given me a compliment without an insult. Was waiting for it.” You shrug, laying down your cards, “Full house.” Anakin’s jaw drops as you pull all the chips in your direction.
“Shit,” He mutters, setting his cards down and laying his head on the table as he groans loudly in annoyance, “Fucking done with this game.”
“And so are we,” Shmi motions Cliegg to stand, “Love you guys. Have fun. Good to have you back, sweetheart.” Shmi kisses your head as Cliegg ruffles your hair before leaving to say goodnight to your parents.
“Mhm,” you hum, finishing the last of your beer, “and plenty of people go to MIT for archeology. It’s a great school. Besides, it’s about time I joined you all there. And it’s only a 15-minute drive. Speaking of- how’s biochemical engineering going, little one?” With a gentle tap on Ahsoka's knee, she reluctantly tears her gaze away from her phone and responds with an eye roll.
“Fucking awful! I love what I’m studying; the school is incredible- just so much work. I’m so tired. I have time for nothing!” She groans and sinks further into her chair while you, Anakin, and Ben burst into uncontrollable laughter.
“Coming from a recent MIT graduate- it doesn’t get any better. Just wait until you get further into your major- Biochemical Engineering is far from easy.” Ben offers her a smile while you and Anakin continue giggling.
“And on that note,” You stand up, shaking your empty can, “I’m getting something stronger than this Miller.”
As you enter the house, a soft purr fills the air as your familiar furry companion, Giz, wraps himself around your legs. You squat down on the floor and feel the warmth of his fur as you pet him, "Missed you, little guy."
“He missed you too.” Your mom leans against the doorway, handing you an obnoxiously full glass of wine. “Had a feeling you came in for this. Are we gonna talk about what happened?”
You sigh, standing up and rubbing your hands on your thighs. “Now’s not really the time or place, Mom. I just got here. The last thing I wanna think about is that.” You grab the glass out of her hand and attempt to turn around before her hand is on your shoulder, pulling you back.
“Not so fast.” You turn around and meet her concerned eyes, your hands feeling more sweaty than they did a minute ago. “Y/N, no one just up and leaves their entire life for the past two years suddenly without something major happening. I know you haven’t told anyone- and I know the last thing you want to do is talk about it- but please, for the love of God, talk to someone. We can all tell something is off. You’re not yourself, honey. We care about you- and we’re concerned. As much as I’m so fucking happy to have you back, I know something bad happened, and I want to be there for you.”
“Mom,” You put your hand on her shoulder, fighting back tears with a smile. “You’re doing enough. I just want to have a good time, focus on being in my dream school, and g-get my life back together, okay?”
“O-okay,” she nods, her voice laced with apprehension as she turns away from you and back into the kitchen, “Pasta on the stove if you want it!”
“Thanks!” you yell, shutting the back door behind you and sighing loudly as you plop back into your chair, earning an eyebrow raise from everyone, “I’m here for an hour and she’s already bugging me.”
“She just loves you, Y/N/N.” Ben tries to reason, and you feel your leg bounce.
“Yeah,” you mumble, fidgeting with the poker chips on the table.
“So,” Anakin leans forward, opening another beer, “You and that guy still together? What was his name.. Harry? James?”
“Nick.” You answer for him, unconsciously biting your lip. “And no, we’re not.” Everyone’s ears suddenly perked up at the confession, the consensus being just how little they knew about your life.
“Damn, what’d you do?” Anakin jokes, searching your face for a smile, only to be met with nothing.
“Ha. Good one.” You chuckle under your breath, your lips forming into a frown.
As soon as Anakin brought up Nick, you lost interest in the conversation. Nick never met the family; you only told them about him over the phone while you were gone. He had always insisted that your life was meant to be in Hampton with him, where you would create something new together. You didn’t need to return home to your family; if you did, you’d be leaving him all alone. Holidays and significant moments came and went, and all the while, you were stuck at a college you loathed, sharing your life with a man you mistakenly believed was the one.
During your nights in Hampton, you and Nick would often find yourselves curled up on the couch, indulging in excessive drinking while he introduced you to various illicit substances. You pretended to enjoy soccer and cocaine, drinking more tequila than you needed. Shot after shot, followed by line after line, you barely knew who you were. He constantly told you how pretty you were, how you were made for him, but if you forgot to run to the liquor store that day, he would treat you as if you were dead to him. Nick offered little in return for your support, except for empty assurances that the life you would build together would make it all worthwhile. Nick's behavior took a downward spiral as he began staying late at work and arriving home in a drunken stupor. From that point on, things spiraled out of control.
And maybe a part of you once loved Nick, but now you felt suffocated in the relationship. And when you tried to bring things up to him, he’d tell you that you were a cheap whore who was only made to be his personal fuck toy. And just like that, the conversation came to an end. The coercion left, and he started to force you to use the drugs he’d use, tell you to skip class, skip tests, skip your job- you were losing yourself within him, and you were worried about the consequences if you didn’t let it happen. He was always a kind, sweet, romantic boy- but he could be so, so evil.
And you’ll never forget the first time he hit you, the sound of his hand connecting with your skin echoing in your ears. As you sat on the counter, the alcohol made your vision blur, and your head throbbed as if it was about to explode. You were already at your limit, and the last thing you wanted was to do was another line. Your nose was already starting to bleed a little, and he begged and begged for you to keep going- telling you he needed it. He didn’t want to do it alone- you had to do it. As you stubbornly declined once more, a sudden, fiery sting seared across your cheek, causing your nose to finally bleed and droplets of blood to stain your thigh. He apologized profusely, waiting on you hand and foot as he cleaned you up, held your hair as you puked, washed you, and still talked you into sex- but it had happened. You knew you needed to leave, or your life could be at stake.
“Y/N?” Ben asks, and you break out of your Nick-induced trance with a sharp gasp, your eyes glossy and lips bloody from your nervous tic.
“I’ll be back.” You stand back up, taking a concerningly long swig from the wine before exiting out the back gate and into the driveway.
“I’m really concerned about her.” Ben watches you leave and bites his lip. Ahsoka nods along with him. “Listen, as happy as I am to have her back, something’s not right. As her brother, I just- I fear the worst. She’s not herself.”
“Did you see the way she reacted when you asked about Nick?” Ahsoka whispered, leaning in to closer to the table, “Something had to have happened.”
“Wait.” Anakin says, as he and Ben both turn to face her, their brows furrowed in confusion and concern, “Ahsoka, you don’t know anything either? She’s your best friend.”
“I- I know nothing. And I hate it.” She confesses to the boys, the air growing thick as Anakin uncomfortably shifts in his seat, and Ben sighs.
“I think I’m gonna try to talk to her.” Anakin stands slowly as Ben raises a brow and leans back in his chair, closing his eyes.
“Anakin, no offense, but I doubt she’ll want to talk to you,” Ahsoka murmured, avoiding his scowl.
“Well,” he pushes the chair behind him, walking towards the gate. “We’ll see!”
Curled up in the Papasan chair on the porch, you lit the joint between your fingers and watched as the lights in your neighbor's windows turned off. Your thoughts drifted from Nick and onto the childhood you missed dearly—so many snowball fights on the street before you, bike rides, and scraped knees. You remember the Johnsons across the street particularly not liking Anakin, so you and Ahsoka egged their house, only to backfire and get Anakin in trouble. You confessed to doing it, and no one believed you. It had to be Anakin. But for some strange reason, he never cared. He accepted the punishment, mowed their yard for a year, and never brought it up to you, no matter how many times you apologized. And every apology that slipped from between your lips was met with a grin.
And that time in 7th grade when Ahsoka really got into it with Julie down the street. She never liked Ahsoka and always found a way to get under her skin. However, this time was particularly awful. When you found Ahsoka, she was sobbing on the corner while Julie laughed at her, calling her pathetic, telling her that even her adopted parents didn’t love her and that her big brother wasn’t there to save her now. But you were. You pushed Julie onto the grass so fucking hard, only for her to get back up and swing. Ahsoka screamed for you to stop, but a newfound rage took over as you pounded into Julie’s face. She ended up on the pavement with a broken nose, and you ended the fight with a fractured wrist and grounded for a month (Only a month because your mom found out who you fought and what she said). Anakin was waiting for Ben to return from tennis and heard the commotion. He ran down the street, finding Ahsoka sobbing, Julie on the pavement, bloody and teary, and you sitting on the corner, shaking and clutching your throbbing wrist in your hand. He instantly asked Ahsoka what happened before making his way to you, holding your wrist, picking you up, and taking you and Ahsoka back to your house. Your mom called Julie’s mom and talked about what happened, and fortunately, Julie confessed to everything. And that’s when you found out her parents were going through a nasty divorce, and Julie was starting therapy. And surprisingly, she actually grew into a really decent, respectable person.
The four of you had always done everything together. You had always been inseparable. And when you left, it tore that apart. You left a hole in Brookline, and you knew it as well as they did. Even though they swore they were happy for you, moving on and doing more, you could see in their eyes that they selfishly did not want you to leave. They didn’t like the years of friendship to be put on hold just like that. And, of course, you felt guilty about it all, but you thought you needed to get out of Brookline. You assumed you wanted something bigger than Boston, bigger than you, bigger than those childhood friends. And two years later, you realize just how naïve you were. Those were your lifelong friends; your life was in Boston, and your dream school was there, too. You missed them more than you could ever envision, and the guilt ate at you every single fucking day. And you wished that 19-year-old you had just stayed. Things would be so much simpler if you had stayed. You let some pathetic man in Hampton tell you that it was just you and him- forever. And you knew deep down your 19-year-old naive self didn’t believe a fucking word he said- she just wished she did.
“Oh, that’s not a cigarette.” Your eyes flicker up from the street and towards a drunken Anakin leaning against the patio rail in front of you. His lips were curled into a mischievous smile, his hair curly and messy.
“No,” You lean forward, handing him the joint, “No, it’s not.”
“So,” He took a quick draw from the joint, flicking it against the deck railing as he looked back at you and smiled, “You just got here, and you’re already running from us? What’s up with that?”
You scoff, snatching the joint from him and leaning back in the chair.
“Just wanted some alone time, is all.” You avoid his gaze, and it’s his turn to scoff, plopping himself next to you in the chair.
“Yeah, because you’ve been so fond of that your entire life. I don’t believe you.”
“And? Never said I cared that you did.” You quickly retorted, earning an eyebrow raise and a smirk.
“Relax,” he said, snatching the joint back from you and holding it hostage. “Talk to me. It’s just us.” His hand met yours; his gaze was intense and empathetic.
You weren’t sure why you wanted to tell him. It was probably the weed mixed with a bit of liquid courage, but in that moment, you needed to get it out. He was so welcoming, holding your hand and offering you the comfort you needed in that moment. Was it pure manipulation? Possibly. But you knew Anakin loved you just as much as you loved him, and you knew you could trust him. He had kept your secrets before, so what’s another one? However, none of those other secrets typically included an abusive relationship; it was mainly about Ben and Ahsoka. You gripped his hand back, watching his eyes soften and his lips curve into a small smile.
“Just-” You started, dropping your voice into a low murmur, “Please don’t tell anyone.”
“I won’t.” He looked into your eyes like he would die to protect your secret. That was precisely what you needed to see.
“Nick- uh- sorry,” You sniffled, rubbing your eyes as you searched for the right words. “He- uh- he hurt me—a lot. I barely made it out of that relationship in one piece. I think my breaking point was when I asked him to visit for your grandma’s funeral, and he knocked me out. I woke up in my bathtub, my face covered in my blood, and he was gone. I applied to MIT that morning. The day after I got in, I packed everything I could and left. He’s blocked on everything, and he hasn’t attempted to reach out in any sort of way. Anakin- I don’t know what would have happened to me if I didn’t leave.”
Your eyes met Anakin’s glossy ones as your hands shook underneath his touch. He crooked his head to the side, bringing you in for a much-needed hug. You let yourself cry softly in his arms, feeling his shaky hands rub in slow motions up and down your back, his other hand stroking the top of your scalp.
But when he looked back at you, the softness in his gaze had disappeared. His fists clenched at his side, his eyebrows furrowed as he bit his lip in frustration.
“A-Anakin?”
“Y/N, why didn’t you tell anybody? We would’ve come to help! We could have put that piece of shit in jail by now!” He stands up abruptly, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing deeply.
“I-I’m sorry- I-” You stutter, your mind racing as he paces before you. His eyes meet yours, and he points at you as your heartbeat accelerates.
“Y/N, I swear to god- I’m gonna kill that motherfucker. He’s fucking dead. I don’t care what hap-” He stops momentarily, cut off by your sobs from the chair. Fuck. He’s yelling at a domestic violence victim- no- he’s yelling at you. What a fucking asshole.
“HeyHeyHeyHey-” He’s quickly on his knees in front of you, shushing and brushing your hair out of your face, “I’m so fucking sorry- that was so selfish of me to do. I shouldn’t have said or done any of that. You opened up to me, and I yelled at you.. that will never happen again, okay? Why don’t we get you to bed?” He held your hands in his, searching your red eyes for an answer as you quickly nodded.
“Okay, I’m gonna go say goodnight to everyone, you just hold tight here. Sound good?” You nodded once again, and he giggled. “Words, sweetheart. I need you to say something.”
“That’s what I want, Ani. Bed.” You mumble out, forming your lips into a sad smile. His heart broke at the sight of you.
The second the back gate opened back up, Ben and Ahsoka immediately shot out of their chairs at the sight of Anakin. Their interrupted conversation suddenly had no meaning as he entered, taking a quick seat next to them.
“She’s- uh- she’s pretty upset. And fucked up. I’m gonna take her to bed.” He sighed, running his fingers through his hair as Ben and Ahsoka looked at him, puzzled.
“Well, what happened? Is she okay? Does she need help?” Ahsoka frantically broke the silence, asking the questions she and Ben were both thinking.
“Listen, she’s in rough shape right now. I’m just gonna get her to sleep, and I’ll tell you guys all about it. I don’t even know if she’s done talking about it. I’ll be right back.”
“Y/N?” He calls out your name as he steps on the other side of the gate, jogging up the front porch to see you passed out in the chair, joint hanging loosely from your fingers.
Amused, he grabs the roach from your fingers and casually tosses it off the porch, letting out a small laugh. Clearly, you didn't waste any time before drifting off to sleep. All the crying and weed must have done something. As he crouches down beside you, he tenderly brushes your hair, his eyes filled with adoration as he looks at your sleeping figure.
“I’m so sorry about everything,” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, sighing softly, “I know you’re going to hate me for what I’m gonna do. Just please know it’s in your best interest. I care about you so much.” He bites his lip in thought, his eyes searching your figure.
As he rises to his feet, he effortlessly swipes your phone and tucks it away, his eyes briefly glancing at your water bottle. With a tender gesture, he reaches his arms beneath you, drawing you close to his chest and ensuring the blanket envelops you snugly as he lifts you from the chair. Your head is cradled against his chest, his hand wrapped around your waist and under your knees.
Anakin carried you gently up the stairs of your house, each step creaking under the weight of his feet. Passing through the familiar corridors, he reached your bedroom door and pushed it open, immediately being overwhelmed by the alluring scent of your space. As he laid you down on your bed, he couldn't help but notice how little the room had changed since you left, the same photos on the walls and the same worn-out rug. Your mom kept everything intact, probably hoping you’d come back eventually. He filled your water bottle, plugged your phone in, left some medicine on your nightstand, and tucked you in tightly. Just as he turned on the fan and kissed your forehead goodnight, your eyes fluttered open to meet with his, and you gave him a sleepy smile.
“Ani?” You mumbled, watching as his smile grew above you.
“Hey, sweetheart, feeling pretty sleepy, huh?”
“Mhm,” You stretched your arms out momentarily as you yawned. “I’m sorry I dropped all of that on you earlier. And I’m just- I’m sorry about it all. I feel so-”
“Y/N,” He gets on his knees next to you, the warmth in his eyes matching the tender smile on his lips, “You don’t need to apologize for a thing. I’m always here. And so are Ben and Ahsoka. We got you. You take as much time as you need to process, recover, and do whatever you need to, okay? It’s about you, Y/N/N, don’t worry about us.” You giggle and nod at his words, your eyes attempting to flutter shut. He laughs at your exhaustion, ruffling up the hair on your head. “Sleep well, okay? I’ll be here if you need me.”
He closes your door and leans against the door frame, exhaling heavily as he tries to make sense of everything that happened throughout the night. How could someone be so fucking despicable to do this to you? His girl. His fists clenched tightly at his waist, his eyes burning with rage as he vividly imagined the torment you endured. He tried not to let his mind go there. He really did. Resting against your bedroom door, vivid visions of you, covered in blood and pleading for help, overwhelmed him, plunging him into a downward spiral. And in a moment of weakness, he did exactly what he promised he wouldn’t do.
“She was abused. Badly.”
“WHAT?”
Ben and Ahsoka jump from their seats on the porch, rushing towards Anakin as he angrily makes his way from the house onto the deck.
“That fucking piece of shit!” Ben shouts, punching his fist against the side of the house while Ahsoka tries to calm Anakin down, asking him for more details.
“Okay, Anakin, I need you to give me more than just ‘abused.’ I know you have details.” Ahsoka sputtered while she held the sides of his arms, guiding him over to the table to sit down while Ben paced behind them.
“It was that asshole she was dating for the past two years- Nick. The one we conveniently never met, which I’m sure was on purpose. She didn’t tell me much other than that if she didn’t leave when she did, she could’ve- well- she- it just wouldn’t have ended well.”
Anakin's words hung in the air, creating a thick silence that was almost tangible with tension. Anakin's throat tightened as he locked eyes with Ben and Ahsoka, their glossy gazes reflecting their shared pain. Ben found a spot at the table, deep in thought, as he absentmindedly stroked his chin, his eyes devoid of any emotion. Ahsoka carefully finished the last of her wine, the cling! of it ringing out as the glass met the table one last time.
“Well-” Ben tried to start, cut off by his sudden sobs. He pushed his head on the table, covering his face from Ahsoka and Anakin as he attempted to take deep breaths, processing the information he had just learned. In an effort to hold back tears, Anakin bit his lip, his hand trembling as he rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes squeezed shut tightly. As she silently wept, Ahsoka soothingly rubbed Ben's back, hoping to ease his pain.
“I just- I should have known.” She mumbled, picking the cat's hair off of the back of Ben’s sweater.
“There’s no way you could’ve, Snips.”
“It’s just that- I thought it was odd when she suddenly asked me to pick up her cat. Saying she couldn’t take care of him and that it was an emergency. I never even met Nick, and she wouldn’t let me stay at the apartment long. I hardly saw her. So many fucking red flags..” she trailed off, feeling her head hurt at the thought.
“Ahsoka, it’s okay.” Ben sniffled, lifting his head off the table as his red eyes met Anakin’s. “There is no one at fault here other than Nick.”
"Exactly," Anakin paused momentarily at his comment, his eyes widening. “Guys, she made me promise I wouldn’t tell you. Considering everything, I think we should wait until she opens up. Even though it hurts, the last thing I’d want to do is hurt her anymore.”
“Yeah,” Ben whispers, and Ahsoka nods, holding onto each other as they try to calm down.
“We should get to bed, guys. It’s 3:30.” Anakin mumbles as he stands up and stretches, offering his hand to Ahsoka. “We’ll see you soon, Ben. Get some rest.”
As he lay in bed, Anakin’s mind wandered off to you. How could it not? Besides being your best friend, he always looked for more in you. The knowledge weighed heavily on him, and he despised himself because of it. To him, you were his world, his everything. Always. And hearing/seeing how hurt you were? It fucking destroyed him. So, he let himself cry. He allowed himself to feel those emotions for you, and he always had buried them deep down. Instead, he buried his face in his pillow and soaked it with his tears. His admiration for you would never falter, and neither would his protectiveness. He felt as if a part of him failed, and as a result, his guard was down. He felt the desire to love you and keep you safe increased, knowing that getting the chance to do so may destroy him inside and out.
And it didn’t help that you lost your virginities to each other. Sharing such a unique, intimate moment with the person he always knew was the one, well, that just really fucked things. Literally. There wasn't a moment when he wasn't haunted by the memories of that night; it was a constant presence in his mind. And then he got with Padme, and you left for Virginia, and things got so lost and confused, and life moved on. You moved on. He tried to. But he searched for you in everyone and everything. Padme knew it, he knew it, fuck, his mother probably knew it! He’s just thankful Ben doesn’t know it. As much as he hated to say it, Anakin knew he would have gone back in time to do anything to change that moment. Because now you’re here, and his feelings have only intensified. Feelings that should have left a long, long time ago. And yet, as he cried himself to sleep, he continued to dream of you, just like every night before.
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Series tags: @w0rsh1psells @ursogorgeous13 @tommyvelvet @mistress-amidala @queenofnigthdarkness @nikkissecretlibrary @doblasftcisco @ann4zw @catachlysmicjedi @googie-jeon @xoxo-hayden-fangurl-xoxo @anakinstwinklebunny
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Ask Nicely (Master Anakin x FemPadawanReader)
Summary: Somedays you think your new master hates you and others… Well, let’s just say, you find out soon enough…when he expresses his disdain for you asking Obi-Wan nicely to take care of your needs.
Warnings: 18+ (minors dni), because of all the lovely smut. Jealous Skyguy, rough fingering/kisses…and Ani’s thick digits. Padawan Reader is of age, 5 years younger than him.
“What’s the big deal? All I did was train with Master Kenobi,” you huffed. Rolling your eyes so hard that you wondered if they’d get stuck like that.
Anakin had been lecturing you nonstop for the last half hour. Starting from the minute he had practically dragged you out of the dojo…through the temple halls…back to your shared quarters. His strong hand wrapped firmly around your arm the whole way.
“For the fourth time this week,” he growled. Arms crossed as he leaned in the doorway, a frown on his face. “As your master, it’s my responsibility-”
“And you’re doing such a great job…” Having shed the last of your sweat soaked clothes, you began rummaging through your drawers. Back turned to him, not caring that you were standing there in only your undergarments. “…of neglecting those duties.”
You weren’t in the wrong, not in the very least. The two of you never had the greatest of relationships or, for that matter, one really at all. Constantly arguing and fighting, butting heads over anything and everything. Which grew worse when you abruptly became his padawan learner; to the point where you were verily certain that he hated you.
Or there was always something else that led you, made you want to believe…
Capturing your elbow, he easily whirled your around. “Listen here, it’s not my fault-”
“No, it is!” You snapped; jabbing your finger into his chest, refusing to stepdown. “You’re the whole reason why I have to go ask Obi-Wan nicely to help take care of my needs!”
Clearly striking a nerve, you watched as Ani’s jaw clenched tighter. Eyes narrowing at you, something dark flickering inside them. “Careful now; you don’t know-”
“Actually, I think I do,” you boldly interrupted once more. Mouth curling up into a sly grin, because you knew what you said next would anger him enough to either silence or… “You’re jealous! You can’t stand the idea of another man…let alone your old master…touching my body! Guiding me, teaching me how to move in ways that you aren’t able to!”
“Little one,” he snarled in warning. Shoving you back against the dresser, pinning you in place. Towering over your smaller frame menacingly.
You should have been terrified, horrified. Despite this though, you kept goading Anakin. “And his big hands felt so good resting on my hips… His fat cock pressing into my ass…”
Before you could continue, you were cut off by a quick, invisible squeeze to your neck. One that left you briefly stunned, speechless. “Yeah, yeah. We’ll see what you have to say about Obi-Wan after I’m done teaching you.”
Not even a second later and his mouth was slotted against yours in a fiery kiss. Biting sharply at your bottom lip, demanding entrance. All the while his mechno hand found its way to your breast, tearing the bindings off like they were nothing.
The moment the cold air hit your exposed nipples, you let out a small whimper. Allowing Ani to slip his tongue in, wrestling with and pinning yours down. Showing you who was in control, attempting to force you into submission.
You tried to pull away, but he held you fast to him. Organic hand gripping the back of your head, long fingers tangling and tugging your hair roughly. The other delivering a solid slap to each tit before he finally decided it was time to break apart.
Gasping, coughing for air. A desperate whine escaped you as he trailed his lips down your jaw, your throat; leaving an array of lovely marks in their wake. Until they wrapped themselves around a pebbled bud; sucking hungrily, biting lightly when your back arched in response. “M-Mast-ter.”
While he lavished your chest with hot kisses, Anakin’s hand followed the curves of your body. Brushing your clothed mound, chuckling once he felt how drenched you were. “Would you look at that; already so wet for me. Bet the old bastard can’t get you like this…”
Nipping a sensitive nub one last time, he had risen back up. Hand grasping your chin tightly, lips crashing against your in another searing kiss. Making you mewl softly, body trembling in anticipation.
“…or sound like that,” he growled low. Suddenly yanking your panties to the side, plunging two leather clad fingers into your cunt.
Squealing, you clenched hard around him. Walls fluttering from the foreign sensation, from being stuffed so full. Hips rocking back and forth in time with his painfully slow pumps. A squelching sound filling the air.
Wanting and craving more. All that pent up frustration had you already so embarrassingly close to crashing over the edge. That you were reduced to a mere babbling mess when Ani abandoned your mouth and pressed his lips to your neck again. Kissing the junction of it and your shoulder, tongue lapping at the tender flesh. A pleasant shiver running down your spine. “P-please…please…”
His pace picked up, thick digits thrusting deep with you. Bullying and bruising your cervix, muttering. “Oh, are you close? You want to cum?”
Panting, you nodded frantically. The heat inside of you overwhelming while you lost touch with reality more and more from each drive.
“Words,” he demanded. Adding the remaining two, slamming them brutally into your packed pussy. “Use them.”
“Yes, s-so close!” You squeaked, the coil in your stomach threatening to snap at any moment. “L-let me c-cum, master!”
At your words, he sunk his teeth in. Breaking the skin, hissing a ‘no’ as he abruptly withdrew his fingers. Pulling away, your fresh blood tinting his lips red.
A wild cry flew from your mouth. Sobbing at the denial, body sagging against the dresser. Hips bucking shamelessly in the air, trying to regain the pleasurable feelings that had been coursing through you.
Grabbing your ass, Anakin squeezed…smacked it hard. Smearing your slick across your freshly soiled panties. “Only good padawans get to do that…you haven’t been. Now, why don’t you try asking me nicely and maybe…I’ll help take care of your needs.”
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