#but my whole life has always been trying to keep up the facade of being a normal person and it feels like i've waited too long to change it

[cyrsed]

can't tell if everything is extra bad or if i'm just stressed/depressed TToTT

[parvulous-writings]

Could I request headcanons for Wyll, Rolan, and Zevlor react to being stuck in close proximity with gn crush?

Warnings: None!

Notes: These may be a little short/uneven, but these were so cute to write!! Anon, you've become such a prominent asker, that I'd love to give you a nickname of some sort, if you're comfortable with that! <3  My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!  Original character list - please request for these too!

Wyll

Wyll is a gentleman about the whole situation - or at least he tries to be. He gives you as much space as he is able to, even though he's squishing himself into a corner, he's more than happy to do that so that you're comfortable.

He tries to keep up conversation with you, to try and distract from the somewhat uncomfortable situation; mostly mundane questions, like 'What's your favourite...' or 'Have you ever...' It's also partly to distract you from the fact that his cheeks are burning hotter than the hells. Who'd have thought it'd be easy to fluster the Blade of Frontiers, even if it were only slightly, by being so near to him?

He cannot take his eyes off of you. Not even for a moment. He tries, at first, but finds it astronomically difficult, and eventually just gives in. He loves gazing at you - your presence brings him such peace, even in such a compromising position such as this.

Once the two of you are found/make your way out of the confined space, Wyll apologises - even though it was not his fault - and offers to make it up to you at some point, by however you see fit.

Rolan

Rolan is entirely speechless. He cannot find the words to say anything to you, not even a half-handed snappy quip. His eyes rarely meet yours, and are rather more often aimed off to the side, or somewhere above your heads. It's... Quite awkward.

You try anything to break the silence between the two of you; "Can you move your leg, please, Rolan?" Followed by a quiet shuffle as Rolan tries to move a little bit further from you but still remain comfortable. It is of little use on either front, but he tries. Any question of "how are you feeling?" Or "You okay?" is met with either complete silence, or a quiet grunt of acknowledgement.

Rolan doesn't know what to do, he's never been in a situation like this before - much less a situation where he can't find the words to express himself. His heart is pounding against his ribcage, harder than he can recall it ever being in his life. He's entirely tense, and he has no idea what to do; his normal confident facade has completely crumbled away, leaving little besides anxiety, and a slightly fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever you speak.

The first chance he gets after the pair of you can separate, he all but disappears from view - for several hours. You had wanted to talk to him about it, but couldn't find him anywhere. Eventually you do find him, but as soon as you bring up the situation, he turns his gaze from you; "I... Would rather not dwell on the situation... If it's all the same to you." He's just too flustered still to be able to process any of it.

Zevlor

Zevlor is constantly asking how you're feeling. "Are you sure you're well?" followed a few minutes later with, "Is there anything you need? ... Yes, I am aware I can't go and get anything, but I'm sure you understand the sentiment..."

He constantly asks you if you're alright, comfortable, etc. Neither of you know how long you're going to be stuck in this situation, so is completely understanding of the constant need to shuffle to keep your limbs from going dead. This being said, he'll always tell you if he's going to try and move himself, just so that he can try not to kick you, and you can brace yourself just in case of this outcome.

He tells you of his time in Elturel before it's descent into Avernus, his time as a Hellrider, all sorts. He finds it very easy to share things with you, since he's so sweet on you - it would usually take some probing for anyone to get that kind of information out of him. But, since he would like to establish more of a relationship with you, he's willing to part with some of it.

Once the two of you are out in the open again, Zevlor double checks that you're okay. "I would have hoped to have had some of those conversations in a more... Traditional way. But, I suppose, one cannot deny the deft hands of fate, hm?"

[littlenahsstuff]

When will my life begin-pt. 1

Chloe Charming x Red x f!reader

Synopsis- you are Rapunzel’s daughter but don’t know it because Mother Gothel survived and took you too. You possess similar powers to your real mother but they don’t work as well. Red and Chloe are visiting wonderland for the first time since the time travel and Red is nervous. She decides to take Chloe her new girlfriend to a mysterious tower from her childhood and they meet you.

Warnings: not proofread, angst, mentions of abusive parents, anxiety, fluff, slower burn, you just meet so no relationships until at least part two.

Almost 3.5k words

I really hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~~

You awoke in your cramped tower, another lonely day. Mother says you can’t leave, you mustn’t. Evil people will hurt you just like your real parents. “You are weak and helpless and they’ll eat you,” is repeated daily.

You have a special gift; you can bring life and healing when singing. Mother loves your tricks but they are somewhat rare and you have a hard time making it actually work. She gets so mad at you, she says harsh punishment is the way to make it work. So far you still screw up.

She barely leaves you alone, the only time you can relax is when she takes her daily naps. Her “Beauty sleep”. Or when she goes on supply runs. You only ever let your thoughts drift then. To that one time you saw a flash of red outside. You were only 13 then and it’s been years but you always did wonder who it was.

***

Red was beyond nervous, Chloe a little too. She had to be strong for her new girlfriend, however. Red was dealing with healing from the trauma still and this visit was making her sick. She knows her mother is better but the whole time travel being dangerous thing has her waiting for the other ball to drop.

“It’ll be alright, promise Heart,” Chloe said it, trying to soothe her. She holds her hand whilst keeping the other on the steering wheel.

When they get there it’s a lot less gloomy than it was originally and the kingdom sits in the midst of a massive ring of roses. Red holds a smeck of comfort that the change brought her home some real peace, but the gnawing feeling never ceases.

“Yeah… I know” Red sighs. “I feel as if-“

“This is just a facade?” Chloe interrupts. “I realize how scary this is; I, myself, worry something went wrong but for now we have to play the part. It’s okay to be scared. You grew up with the most terrifying women I��ve ever seen.

They got to the entrance.

“Well… let’s face this then.” Red decides. She gets out and waits before entering.

Queen Bridget stands ready to greet her daughter, coming in for a bear hug. At least this time both her and Chloe are squished. She still flinched a little but was quickly soothed by a comforting tap on her wrist from Chloe.

“It’s good to see you… Mom,” for the first time.

“It’s so good to see you too my muffin cake!” Reds mom squeals. She starts to see more similarities to Pink haired Bridget by the second and she’s still weary, but relieved.

They pull away and Queen Bridget turns to Chloe.

“Oh where are my manners?! Chloe it is so wonderful to see you here again!” Bridget smiles. Not sickenly to Red’s mild shock.

Chloe glances at her girlfriend and they both smile too and shrug.

“Glad to be back too” Chloe replies with a chuckle. Time travel is weird.

“Now as much as I want to talk your ears off you girls must want to settle in first! I’ll have the Tweedle brothers carry your stuff to your room so you can unpack. Now… I wanna hear about any cute dates later but I understand. I’ll wait dears,” she actually GIGGLES and walks away. Not without giving a little squeeze to Reds shoulder.

They both stand there a little awkwardly and Red exhales, feeling like she can fully breathe again. She feels like she needs to get out when an idea pops into her head.

“Hey wanna go see something cool?” Red says excitedly. Chloe nods and red grabs her hand to drag her back out into the wonder woods they passed through on the way there.

“Where are we going?” Chloe whispers when they hit a particularly thick part of the forest.

“I would go into these woods a couple of times when I was younger… around the third time I came across a massively tall tower. I heard pretty singing. I sadly had to leave but when I came back for the seventh time I heard it again. I never really figured out what or who it was but maybe we’ll see if we go again.

And so they trekked further into the heavily wooded area for a few minutes until finally there was a small clearing with a large tower.

Just by luck did they happen to hear a soft melody coming from it. There was clearly someone home and Red couldn’t not pass up the chance to figure it out once and for all. She used to think about this for years after her last encounter.

“Oh no…” Chloe whispers and whips her head, “I know that look. We are not about to do what I think you’re thinking.” Chow huffs

With a role of her eyes, Red replies hushed, “Fine, just me then. I’m gonna figure it out.” She jumps up on the viney stone and finds it stable. She starts climbing and soon after Chloe groans and follows her.

“Does it have to be this high?” Chloe whimpers, daring not to look down. Red is already far enough up that she doesn’t hear her.

***

You finish sweeping when you hear climbing you don’t think much of it, it’s just your mother. You still tense but remain sweeping. You should’ve finished awhile ago, but you enjoyed the free will of being able to daydream while she was on a trip a little too much. You hear footsteps hit the floor and try and finish up faster.

“I’m sorry mother I’ll be better next time, let me finish first!” You hurry out. When there’s a second pair of feet hitting the ground you focus on the window. Two girls stand there.

You drop the broom and scramble back, falling on your back and hitting the wall.

“I- I- who are you?” You question breathlessly.

Red and Chloe both share another look.

“We aren’t here to hurt you!” Chloe hurried out. Red nods and slowly steps forward.

“No, we just heard the singing and wanted to check it out. Are you up here alone? How do you even get down every day?” She questions and you still cower but decide to answer them.

“I’m not supposed to speak to others. Mother will be furious, I- who are you?” You repeat.

“This is Red and I’m Chloe.” The blue haired one speaks. “I am from Auredon, Cinderellasburg specifically and Red is from here in Wonderland. Do you know why you are in this tower?” It’s almost too much but you answer honestly for fear of angering them.

“My parents were killed when I was a baby and my Mother took me here for my protection. This place is called wonderland?” You question. If you are gonna be killed maybe you can learn some stuff. Although, these ladies seem harmless enough and quite pretty. Nothing like the grotesque monsters your mother warned you of.

“Yes, you don’t know?” Red says, you shake your head. Your curiosity is quickly getting the better of you now.

“Please don’t lie what’s it really like out there?” You softly question.

“Well… there a kingdom just past these woods. my castle, oh by the way I’m the princess” Red casually throws in there making your jaw drop “but it’s very…. Beautiful.” She goes for. “There are roses everywhere now.” She adds.

“Oh… your majesty” you bow. You read a book once with a king in it and you knew you were supposed to bow.

“It’s only majesty for kings and queens, it’s- you know what that doesn’t matter you don’t have to be so formal, I am also a princess as well. Again though you don’t have to be so formal.” Chloe urges. You are completely awestruck by the fact that two very lovely princesses happen to be your first real life interaction besides your mother.

“Well… thank you Chloe and Red. I am still honored to be in your presences. Tell me, are these kingdoms violent at all?” You interrogate farther.

“Not too much honestly, like the occasional violent coup but day to day life can be lovely,” Chloe replies. Red looks to be deep in thought.

“So your mother locked you in here? That’s… that’s crazy” she realizes. Then her face lits up.

“Chloe, a quick word in the corner.” The two huddle leaving you to finally pick yourself up from the floor and dust off.

“Are you thinking what im thinking?” Red asks. Chloe bites her lip.

“Unfortunately. This poor girl needs our help. I can’t help but feel she looks familiar somehow.” Chloe frets. She thinks you are beautiful truly, but she can’t figure out for the life of her who you remind her of.

“Okay well I think we need to convince her to leave-

“I’ll do it.” You say, causing them to jump up from the huddle. “You two are loud by the way and this room is pretty small,” you giggle. It feels good, you don’t know the last time you’ve laughed. They both blush.

“That easy?” Red questions and Chloe slaps her lightly.

“What she means to say is, we understand how terrifying this could be and that we are glad you are allowing us to help you.

“I’ve wanted to leave everyday, my mother isn’t even my real mother and yeah, I’m terrified. You two are living proof it’s okay out there.

“So how does your mother get down?” Red asks.

“The vines”, you shudder at realization you will have to climb down. Chloe seems to have an equal reaction.

“Well let’s go get you somewhere less cagey.” Red smirks.

After a very fear filled climb down your bare feet touched the hard ground. The gravel admittedly hurts your sheltered feet and you wince.

“What’s wrong?” Chloe notices.

“Oh, I guess I’m not used to standing on such rocky ground.” You admit shyly and wince again when you take another step.

Red hums.

“Wait a sec.” She starts taking off her boots and hands them to you.

“thank you! I’m sorry if I’m a little slow with all this.” You relent, still very great full.

“Don’t be.” Red smirks.

Chloe turns to her, “is you giving people shoes a habit now?” She snorts.

Red rolls her eyes. You finish putting the boots on and get a little nervous.

“We better go, mother could be back any second.” You say.

“Alright then, let’s go” Red leads.

The walk is so terrifying every sound muffled from your time up high is so much louder. Each cherp, squeak, and buzz makes you jumpier.

It’s all worth it though when you see the red castle.

It’s the grandest thing you’ve ever seen, lit up (it’s now darker outside) and the roses are so stunning and fragrant you want to cry. And you do.

“Hey,” Red says. They both come closer.

“I’m fine it’s just so pretty.” You sob.

“If you think this is pretty wait till you see my room. It’s so cool” Red says excitedly and leads for you and Chloe to follow again.

Reds castle looks so much brighter than she remembers. It’s so well lit she can actually see the high ceilings now.

“Right this way, I need to check in with my Mom… she’ll know what to do.” Red decides. It feels so weird asking her mom for help.

The lounge room is very ornate and there is satin cushioning and mahogany wood everywhere. Reds mom is setting out some tea and snacks, enough that they are clearly for the girls too.

Red clears her throat, “mom I have someone I need you to meet.” She says. Bridget looks up and immediately drops the teapot.

“Oh my,” she tsks, “very sorry dear I just thought you were someone I knew. You look so much like her. Um who are you? It was now that both Red and Chloe shamefully realized they didn’t ask for your name. They were so focused on getting you out they didn’t even find out who you were.

“Y/n your majesty.” You curtsy. The queen inhales sharply.

“You don’t have to be so formal but uh… You wouldn’t happen to have hair that glows when you sing would you?” she questions. You are immediately scrambling to figure out how she possibly knew that.

“That’d be a coincidence, we found her in a tower. She’s like repunzel!” Chloe adds and then immediately gasps. Chloe feels so stupid for not putting two and two together. Meanwhile both you and Red are clueless of what’s happening.

You squeamishly give a “yes”.

“Oh you look just like her.” Chloe realizes.

You want to curl up in a ball. This is already so overwhelming.

“Like whom?” Red nods her head in confusion.

“Well, there was a princess named Rapunzel locked in a tower by an old hag, she would use the girls powers to rejuvenate herself. She originally pretended to be her mother. Her now husband Eugene found her and allowed her to see floating lanterns that appeared on her birthday. Turns out the whole kingdom was setting them off for her. They thought mother Gothel turned to dust but she reappeared and in turn stole her baby. They had no idea where she went and searched the lands. She wasn’t ever found…. Until maybe now?” The queen finished the tale, hope growing on her face by the second. Both you and Red were utterly gobsmacked.

They all turned to you only for you to get extremely lightheaded from the attention and the fact that other than the lanterns, the story completely paralleled yours. You didn’t even know when your birthday was. Your thoughts wage a war and you feel as if your legs are giving out.

Before you hit the floor Chloe catches you.

“Oh rabbits,” The queen exclaims. “You girls be a dear and make sure are guest is alright. I believe I really do have to make a phone call now.” She turns to you, who is still conscious but out of it. “Sweets, I promise you are safe now. This castle is heavily guarded. No one gets in that wasn’t supposed to and while you are technically free to leave at any moment I believe you understand you have to stay for a little bit longer.” She hums and turns shaking her head in disbelief as she heads to the phone in her room.

“I-I” you stutter. The two others give a concerned look.

“Hey it’s gonna be fine, even if you aren’t the lost princess we can keep you save. We promise,” Chloe soothes, Red is now hunched down to your levels.

“Promise” she agrees with a curt nod. You take a deep breath, it comes in more broken but it helps ever so slightly.

“Thank you, thank you both!” You exclaim, wrapping them in some sort of embrace, you don’t know what it’s called though.

“Ha no problem maybe-princess,” Red jokes. She earns a glare from Chloe.

“So if I my parents are alive, am I gonna meet them?” You question in disbelief. This feels like a scary dream.

Red bites her lip before replying, “Well I’m assuming that’s what the call was for, she is most likely calling them now.” You are more confused.

“How will they hear her voice from all the way from the castle?”

“There are these machines that let you call from any land so long as the other has one too” Chloe responds, sharing yet ANOTHER look with Red.

“Sheesh, you need to get out more” Red tries to lighten the situation and to be fair it makes you laugh a little.

“RED” Chloe scolds.

“She laughed!”

“It’s okay, I’d rather joke about it than have it still happen” you add but now they both look sad for you again.

“Do you think they still want me? Like what if they have other children and don’t need me as a child anymore. And I’m not really a child at all, I don’t know how old I am yet but I seem far too big to be one.” You start picking at your nails in worry.

Red sighs, “I know what it’s like to have to worry whether someone likes you or not. Trust everything will work out.” She says.

“From what I heard they never stopped looking for you. They did have another child but they actually did kinda do the lantern thing every year. It’s just that they didn’t understand you were sent to wonderland. The whole time they’ve been looking elsewhere but I know for a fact they never fully stopped and that shows they will want you.” Ella offers. You just nod softly, the fear was still there, but if it’s true then it makes you feel a little better. They were good at that. You think you’d want to be their friends. Best friends even someday if you still manage to hang out.

Before the awkward tension breaks naturally the Red queen burst through the door with two others. They also look like royalty to you but that’s not what makes your chest pound. They woman looks so painstakingly like you it makes Chloe curse herself for not getting it immediately. You all stand up, Red and Chloe help you first. And you all how your head.

The woman nearly runs to you and pulls you into another embrace of sorts. This time it’s a little tighter.

“Oh my, you’re really her aren’t you, you’re my baby girl!” She gasps. You blush and stand there terribly awkward. Red can feel your uneasiness from next to you so she coughs in attempt to break Queen Rapunzel from her stupor. It works.

“I- you’re my real mom?” You question.

She pulls apart just enough to put one hand on your cheek and another on your shoulder.

“I know for sure, yes. You are everything I dreamed you to be, my beautiful baby girl. Oh you must have so many questions.” She says. She smiles like the sun and has tears pooling in her eyes. She’s dress so elegantly in purple, but she’s shaking quite a bit.

“I’m here, you’re here” you say. Rapunzel turns to the man.

“Eugene Flynn Fitzgerald Ryder, come over here this instance,” she beckons and slowly a man steps forward. You notice you have his eyes and hair color. You’ve never had a dad before, it’s almost too much. He certainly doesn’t seem like he’s an evil man.

“That’s really her my little buttercup?” He says and when he gets a good look at your face he breaks into the loudest sobs you have ever heard in your life. You honestly don’t know what to do but stand there. You are also overcome with emotion but this is quickly becoming too much for you. He steps forward again.

“Bathroom!” You exclaim and haste fully walk past them and into the halls where you start running.

“Y/n-“

“Flynn give her some time,” Rapunzel sighs.

“We‘ll make sure she’s safe,” Chloe interrupted, grabbing Red to follow you.

After a couple turns they hear sobbing down an otherwise empty hallway. You sit there with your head tucked into your knees gasping for breath. They slowly walk up to you.

“It’s a lot, I know” Red sighs. “Meeting your mo- family for the first time. You start thinking of what can go wrong when you don’t know them and they don’t really know the real you. It’s hard.” She pauses, “but take it slow. I promise that they are also overwhelmed too. But after not getting any affection your whole life it seems like even the tiniest bit is too much.”

“If you want, we will stay with you as much as allowed. I know we just met but it seems like maybe you trust us the most and that’s precious, the trust,” Chloe states. Her eyes are truthful and earnest. Red shares that earnesty.

“I- supposed if it’s alright. I would never want to impose and you’ve done so much for me. This is all just- well you said it” you gesture to Red.

“We’ll be here.” They both say in unison and it makes all three of you giggle. Maybe your new life won’t be so bad. At least not if they’re in it. Your worry is replaced with a similar fluttery feeling but you don’t know exactly what it is.

This is your happy beginning. Your life has finally begun.

[tizzyizzy]

Seen some talk around the interwebs about how Izzy is a totally different, or his arc happened too fast, whatever. He is my argument to the contrary.

There are three major factors driving the change in Izzy's behavior.

Default Pirate Culture → Gentleman Pirate Culture

Izzy spent his entire pirate career before Stede acting like, well, a pirate. There wasn't room for softness. Being tough was expected. Blackbeard's crew's culture in particular discouraged weakness to such an extent crew were expected to kill their pets before joining.

In S1, Izzy's relationship to the crews and captains was ambiguous. Was he training the Revenge crew to be proper pirates? Was he in charge when the captains weren't on board? Was Ed planning on killing Stede and everyone aboard, or not? So it's unsurprising Izzy held himself away from Stede's crew instead of becoming part of it, and tried without success to make the Revenge crew follow his lead.

In S2, Izzy ends up in Stede's crew, and Izzy isn't in a place emotionally or socially to try to push to change the culture of the ship. He's outnumbered. Izzy has to adapt. At the very least, all of the expectations he has been living up to his entire pirating career are gone.

Taking Care of Ed → No More Ed

Izzy said he'd been cleaning up Ed's messes his whole life. Scenes from S1 and S2 suggest that is the case. In S1, Izzy is dealing with Ed making strange choices on his search for meaning, which requires him to manage restless crew members and deal with the risky spots Ed puts them all in. Once Stede arrives on the scene, Ed is contradictory and non-communitive, leaving Izzy to wonder if the plan to kill Stede and the promised captaincy were bullshit (they were).

And because Izzy has no emotional intelligence, he thinks that Stede is seducing Ed into losing everything, and he desperately tries to pry the pair ppart.

I mean, we all know what happened in the early S2 episodes. Emotional, off-the-rails Ed trying to himself and everyone else while Izzy desperately tried to protect Ed and the crew, until he was forced to give up on Ed.

After breaking up with Ed via bullet, though, Ed is officially Not Izzy's Problem. Ed isn't a threat to the crew. Stede is incompetent, but was clever and brave enough to escape Zheng's ship and rescue them. Izzy is free to have a drunken breakdown. After, well, he gets to do whatever he wants.

What does Izzy want? Well, he's finding out.

No Trust → Trust

The major reason pirates put on such a tough facade is to protect themselves. Being tough keeps enemies from messing with you. It keeps your crew too afraid to mutiny. It's easy to recognize that Ed puts on a persona of Blackbeard, but Izzy put on a persona too. A weak link can be targeted and broken.

Just look at the scene where Izzy finally breaks down and is comforted by the crew. Izzy doesn't make the choice to be emotionally vulnerable. He is behaving the same way he always with crew who question his orders. He yells, he curses, he commands. It is only the level of his emotional distress and the crew's acknowledgement of it that make him incapable of hiding his pain.

I think it's safe to say that has been hiding grief, frustration, confusion, sadness, etc. behind the "Get back to work!" facade for years. It only crumbled under extreme pressure.

But when Izzy breaks, and is at his most pathetic and vulnerable, the crew have his back. Under Blackbeard, they comfort him, hide him away, and treat his injuries at the risk of the captain's wrath. Under Stede, when he's at his most pathetic, the crew make him a new leg and accept him into the crew without judgement.

There's almost nothing Izzy could do in front of the crew now that would make him look more weak than he was when he was crawling across the floor drunk and repeating "You're born alone, you die alone" over and over. He hit rock bottom and there was a pillow there to catch him.

So, Izzy is in the "talk it through" culture of Stede's Revenge. He is free from obsessing about Ed as a man and as a captain. He is surrounded by people who saw him at his worst and showed him compassion.

Izzy's worst behaviors in S1 were motivated by fear. Fear of the new, fear Ed was losing it, fear of what would happen if he showed weakness. In a "safe space", where he has nothing to worry about? Of course Izzy calms way down. This is the Izzy that swaggered up to Stede on the island and at Spanish Jackie's in S1. Dry, sarcastic, sassy. Some flair for the dramatic with the swordplay.

It is because Izzy feels so safe that he can put on that makeup and perform. Wee John is doing it, and Wee John wouldn't let him do anything embarrassing. He's clearly got confidence in his ability to sing.

He's still Izzy. He says fuck constantly. He's kind of a dick. He offers good advice. He's a dramatic, whether he's cutting his name into someone's shirt or singing in French from a balcony. He's just an Izzy that can be whatever he wants without fear.

[sbg-loving-pierog]

Let's talk about The Hernandez Family!

and why the whole situation with Tyler is actually a good thing to happen.

(‼️Spoilers for episodes 43-51‼️)

You've been warned...

Starting off with ep. 43 when we see Mariana Hernandez - Taylor and Tyler's mother - for the first time.

You can see the tension rising when she mentions the twin's father, which at the time is suspicious but since it goes unexplained it doesn't bring much of our attention until

Back then we couldn't confirm what that means, not until ep. 48 and Tyler's flashbacks. Now we know that the twins' father is dead, so that tells us that their mother doesn't seem to remember about that. To say more, she's CONVINCED that he's still alive because even when the situation points to him not being with them anymore, she still only finds it a bit weird but doesn't seem to remember the truth.

Either she doesn't want to remember it, or it's a part of some kind of medical, mental condition, but something that helps keep up this Delusion is that, as we know, after the death of Ethan Hernandez, Tyler took over his responsibilities.

Mariana never had to take over anything her husband did for the family, she didn't feel the weight that fell on them after his passing. All "thanks" to Tyler.

And for some reason her kids try to keep up this facade with distracting her from thinking about their father before she remembers anything

And they succeed, bringing them to the point when they are the ones that take care of her, instead of it being the other way around, as it should. She probably still does her share of responsibilities a parent should have (a part she was doing before too, when Ethan was alive) but the other half AND the mental burden is all on Tyler and Taylor.

But something changes in ep. 51

When Tyler is "injured", her first instinct is to call her husband - and his father - which is understandable, you wouldn't really think logically in a situation like that, but for Mariana, this is when the truth and logic finally hits her

She reminds herself that she can't call Ethan for help and you can clearly see that she's about to panic

But then Taylor comes in, and changes her mother's thinking of "I'm on my own, what do I even do?" To "I have others to care for, I'll think about myself later".

You can almost hear her thoughts saying "You're their mother. Act like it".

This is the moment she realizes that:

1. She can't depend on Ethan anymore

2. Tyler won't always be there to help her

3. She has to be strong for her kids because she should be. Because it's her responsibility that she's been neglecting... or just wasn't able to bring to life for WAY too long

After Tyler wakes up and the group leaves the hospital, it's said that his mom stayed there with him. I think both the time when Taylor needed her support and the time they spent together with Tyler when she was the one caring for him for a change will normalize their family situation. It will help Mariana realize that Tyler was and is still just a kid, and was never ready to take over his father's "position" in caring for her and Taylor, even if he did it because he had to.

That's what I think anyways, I'm open to discussion though ^^ and well, now as they're separated, their relationship will either freeze for a moment, or change again and hopefully it'll become even stronger after another reunion :)

[thequietkid-moonie]

Hello! Wish you have a good day! I see you have opened request. Can I ask TBHK about Teru, Akane about an s/o who is always happy even though they are all fake…if you don't want it then you can ignore my request :DDD hope you have a a good new day

S/O is always happy by faking it

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Teru, Akane ]

[ Toilet Bound Hanako-kun / Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun ]

I hope I understood right your request, if not feel free to send your request again and correct me!

Still, I really liked writing this so hopefully you like it too!

Teru Minamoto

Teru is someone caring and loving, despite all he does and what he does for having to hide his work as an exorsist he still does love you and his family a lot, he may not be the best to express himself with all sincerity or without troubles but he tries to show you how much you mean for him and how much he loves you

Teru genuinely loves you and want to protect you, the fact that he can see you being happy all the time makes him feel happy too, he is quite scare about just bringing you troubles because of his work, even more that a supernatural would target you and start bothering you but seeing you happy and safe makes him feel more at ease

Seeing your smiling always brings a genuine smile to Teru, however for him is quite easy to notice whenever you aren't being genuinely happy, he knows how to act happy and perfect in order to keep his facade and has been training since he was young to fight the supernaturals so it isn't easy to trick him in any way, so if you ever pretend to be happy when you are not then he will find out, no matter how good you are to pretend he will know soon or later

Since the first moment that he gets the idea of you posibly not being as happy as you say you are Teru start to worry, he doesn't like the idea of you bottling up your feeling, but still he won't really ask you right away about it, Teru will act as if he haven't noticed and decide to try to find out in his own what it is happening

The more Teru notices that you aren't being sincere with your feeling the more anxious he feels, he tries really hard to find out on his own and wants to talk about it with you until he gets an idea of what could be happening for you to feel the need to do this, but also if he doesn't find any kind of explaination then he will just give up and ask you to have some time to speak

Despite feeling anxious about the whole thing Teru stays calm and even have a soft smile at first, telling you gently how worried he is and that he wants to know what it is happening with you because he is worried, Teru tried to don't be pushy but will insist if you don't really want to talk but he does carefuly and even gently so you don't feel like he is pressuring you

No matter the reason behind why you fake your happiness he will still be mad at the end, not at you but at whatever made you feel like you should do something like this (specially if there is someone to blame), but even if he is mad about all of this he focuses on comforting you and telling you how it isn't bad if you show something else aside from happiness, he will be really happy if you let him hold you when you are sad or just hear you rant when you are angry

Teru isn't planing on letting you continue with this bad habit so from now on he will pay closer attention to you and will even actively ask you how you feel, specially when he notices that you aren't being sincere (he may be a little pushy if you don't want to talk, but, then again, he does gently and remembering you that he cares a lot for you)

Akane Aoi

Akane's love for his partner is undeniable and immense, he is so open with how much he loves you even before starting a relationship and since his feelings are reciprocated he doesn't see any reason to don't continue showing how much he loves you to you and the world

Akane feel genuinely happy by just being at your side, is like if your presence alone is enough to bright his day and life, and just like that Akane wants to be able to bring the same joy to his partner, he wants to make you happy and help you in all you need, so the fact that he has the opportunity to see you happy all the time it just makes his heart happy (but mainly when you are feeling genuinely happy)

Akane seems the type of person to be blinded by his love, and even when he can be blinded and too focused on you he is well aware about your flaws, but he just loves that part of you too, there are high chances that Akane knows whenever you aren't feeling genuinely happy and just fake it, and as much as he finds impressive how good you are to fake it Akane still feels quite troubled by it since he doesn't like the idea of you just bottling up your true emotions and just puting a smile instead

Akane doesn't want to say anything at first but the moment he notices that for you faking happiness is more common then he will have a serious talk about this with you, this is one of those rare moment where Akane gets really serious (it can be a little intimidating too by how serious he gets), but in all honestly is just that he is really worried about you and he will make sure to let clear that he isn't mad but incredibly worried

He wants to know why are you doing this, what led you to think that you must fake happiness when you aren't feeling happy, he may be a little pushy at first just because he is letting all his emotions get the better of of him, but will apologize if he accidentally crossed your boundaries, just upset you or even make you feel bad about it

Akane really wants you to stop this bad habit, he promised that there is nothing bad on not being happy all the time, he won't stop loving you if you get angry or upsed from time to time (and, honestly, he wont really let anyone say something bad about you showing how you truly feel)

Akane wants to help you feel more comfortable with expressing what you really feel to the point that he is actively asking how you feel, specially when he notices you aren't being too sincere with your true feelings (he loves you so much that he even learns to read your body language), he will be willing to ask you only in private if you prefer it that way, he is even willing to reveal his secret about being part of the first mistery just to stop time to give you all time you need to just express yourself before facing the world again. No matter how much he is able to help you or how much help you are willing to accept, one thing that he will never do is judge you

[smok3r7]

One Door Closes & Another One Opens

Joel x OFC!Divorce Lawyer

Explicit, 18+

Wolf vs Bear

Main MasterList & Series Masterlist - My AO3

Summary: She’s a divorce attorney and he’s a husband looking for help to save his daughter, and himself, from his gambling addict wife. Renae Russo is a woman who fights for her clients and wins. She’s satisfied with her life and what she does - but she wishes she could have a little more. What happens when Joel Miller becomes her client and an old flame of Renae’s reignites in the same breath?

Chapter Summary: Things get nasty in court and Renae realizes she has to let go of what could’ve been.

Word count: 5.3k

—

Annie has always been known for her determination and resilience, qualities that she lost due to her inability to stay sober or away from casinos. But now she’s trying to gain them back, or at least look like she is, with the help of divorce lawyer Garcia Cole.

She’s driven by a single motive - vengeance. She’s ready to fight tooth and nail for what she believes is rightfully hers, and she’s not going to let Joel take Sarah away. But it’s not even about her wanting to be a mother because, well, she really doesn’t… At the end of the day, it is all about having control over Joel.

Her persona as a doting mother was just a facade she believed everyone bought into, but the truth was far from that. The only thing that consumes her is when she can escape to the casino again and have a drink. The flashing lights and the sound of slot machines call out to her, offering a temporary escape from her mundane reality of having a child and being a wife. When she sits at the poker table, her mind drifts away into nothingness.

Her whole life keeping up appearances to others outside of her family was burned into her by her mother and she did not break that habit, transforming into a desperation for society to perceive her as the innocent victim in a crumbling marriage, all of it out of her control.

When she decided to fight Joel back in the divorce, she reveled in the thought of outsmarting him, her manipulative tactics hidden beneath a blanket of maternal devotion. However, she was not good at keeping her ideas to herself, because she wouldn’t stop calling him, leaving voicemails, and texts going into detail about how she thought she was going to crush him.

She simply couldn’t help herself.

Joel, on the other hand, understands the true gravity of the situation. He knows that Annie is not going to back down easily; it’s always a fight with her. Just like in the beginning when he would ask repeatedly if she was drunk, and she would deny, but Joel could tell. So he would try to simply talk to her and then she would play the guilt trip and whole victim act; I just want to have fun, we don’t have fun anymore, Joel. I’m not the same person anymore and I miss who I used to be…I just need to find myself again. What…I can’t go out anymore? Is that what you’re saying?

This divorce is going to be no different. Annie's stubbornness and denial of it all only fuels his determination more. Despite the emotional turmoil, Joel remains firm in his decision, ready to face the challenges that come with ending a once loving partnership. He knows that this separation is necessary, even if it means navigating through rough waters ahead.

He braces himself for the battle on the other side of the wooden doors, determined to do whatever it takes to ensure that his daughter remains with him. But also knowing that Renae has his and Sarah’s best interests in mind, eases his panic just enough.

“We got this, ‘kay?” Renae nudges Joel’s shoulder with hers, causing him to turn to her and he’s met with a small genuine smile. Her arms are folded across her chest, supported by stacks of papers and Manila envelopes filled with evidence to bolster Joel's claims.

The weight of the overwhelming evidence hits him like a ton of bricks, shaking him to his core. He’s struggling to come to terms with the reality that he finds himself in, unable to fathom the amount of proof backing him. This isn’t how marriages are supposed to be or even end.

His marriage to Annie had once been full of laughter and love, but now it seemed like a distant memory. The once vibrant woman he had fallen in love with was now a shadow of her former self, lost in a sea of her own demons.

Joel feels like a failure, as a husband and a father. He should’ve been able to see the signs of Annie falling off the deep end but he didn’t. He had ignored the late nights, the empty bottles, and the distant gaze in her eyes, hoping it was just a phase she would outgrow.

He can’t help but wonder where it had all gone wrong. Was there anything he could have done differently to save their marriage? Or was this the inevitable outcome of a love that had faded away?

He knows he’s in incredible hands but that doesn’t mean he isn’t terrified of what’s to come. Gazing into Renae’s beautiful forest green eyes, he sees true determination and care in her, and he smiles back at her. I know, he whispers, truly meaning each word. Despite the chaos swirling around his mind, he finds comfort in Renae's presence, something about her calms his whirling thoughts. With her by his side, he feels a flicker of hope amidst the uncertainty.

As they prepare to face the challenges ahead, he draws strength from Renae's unwavering support and her belief in a better tomorrow. In her eyes, he sees not only a formidable advocate but also a compassionate ally in this insane journey towards a new beginning.

Possibly even one with Renae.

—

Glancing over to Annie, Joel takes in her appearance; her blonde hair neatly pulled back into a tight bun, her makeup soft and light, but underneath he can see the faint bruise around her right eye. He assumes it’s from Maria two weeks ago when she served Annie, and he can’t help but chuckle internally.

Coming into this, he had expected to feel angry or frustrated, but to his surprise, he feels nothing. He can’t pinpoint his emotions, which is something he didn’t think was going to happen. Annie catches his gaze and gives him a cocky smile, unaware of the turmoil in Joel's mind. As they sit on separate sides of the courtroom, a sense of uneasiness lingers between them, making Joel question everything he thought he knew about their relationship.

Despite her trying her best to have this put-together appearance, only Joel can sense that she isn’t quite sober either. There’s a certain aura about her, a subtle hint of her struggles with casinos and drinking. After being with her for twenty years, Joel just knows.

Her clothes hang loosely on her small, skinny frame, but tight enough to think they’re just old clothes, if you don’t know her. Joel has always been attuned to Annie's moods, able to see through her facade and into the depths of her struggles. As he watches her from across the room, he knows that despite her best efforts to hide it, she’s still caught in the spiral of addiction, unable to break free from its grasp.

But he doesn’t feel bad, not in the slightest.

As the courtroom falls silent, Renae stands confidently before Judge Mark, ready to defend Joel. "Good morning, your honor," she speaks with a warm smile, earning a nod of acknowledgment from the judge. "We're here today because Mr. Miller filed for divorce and is trying to get full custody of his ten-year-old daughter."

Renae's heart races as she gives a brief introduction of the reasons why Sarah’s best interest is remaining with her father full time. “Mrs.Miller is an addict in more ways than one,” Renae says, and grabs photos and screenshots showcasing Annie's reckless behavior - drinking to the point of blackout, sneaking out in the dead of night, and gambling away her and Joel’s savings at the casinos.

“Here are some photos and screenshots of how frequent these kinds of things happen, your honor.” The judge studies the evidence with a grave expression, realizing the extent of the situation. “It’s clear that Mrs. Miller's addiction is spiraling out of control, affecting not just herself but everyone around her.”

However, Garcia Cole doesn’t waste any time before he’s arguing his side, or Annie’s side, of things. “That may be true before Mr. Miller filed,” Cole announces, “But Mrs. Miller has turned a new leaf. She’s been attending AA meetings for the past two months and plans on continuing going.”

He stands up as he stares between Renae and the Judge, “Casinos have been off limits to her also, same as alcohol. Here are the signed slips from each one, your honor.” Walking up the bench, he hands over the stack of papers as he says, “She’s ready to take care of her daughter.”

Renae's eyes widen in disbelief as Cole presents the evidence of Mrs. Miller's newfound commitment to sobriety and her daughter's well-being, though Renae knows, is all a facade and nothing but bullshit.

The Judge observes the sincerity in Cole's voice and the determination in Mrs. Miller's eyes.

After a moment of silence, the Judge nods, acknowledging the transformation that has taken place. Renae feels a small punch in the gut, but she knows this is only the start of things.

But then Cole drops the hammer and goes for it.

“Mrs. Miller requests physical and sole custody of Sarah Miller because she feels Mr.Miller is not safe for their daughter to be around.” He states as he addresses Judge Mark, Renae, and Joel in one swoop.

Renae senses Joel's protective aura and her own rising anger. She couldn't fathom Sarah being safer with anyone else but Joel. Annie's motives were suddenly suspect to Renae, and she impulsively, but smartly, demanded evidence to back Mrs. Miller's and Cole’s claims.

As Cole confidently approached the Judge's bench, Renae leaped up to join him, her heart racing with anticipation. "I was not aware of this, your honor. If anything, it's prejudice," she declared, trying to make sense of the unexplained picture of minor bruises on Annie’s biceps, looking like finger impressions.

Renae is enraged about Joel not telling her about this incident, whatever it is. She had explicitly asked him if Annie would have any evidence of things like this, to specifically make him look bad. In which he told her that Annie wouldn’t.

With a dismissive snort, Cole turns to Renae then to Judge Mark, his expression intense. "C’mon Russo… You really think this doesn’t hold weight? It's more probative than prejudice, your honor. My client fears for her daughter's safety if this is how he treats her. What will he do to their daughter?"

The tension in the courtroom was palpable as the judge pondered the weight of Cole's words, and Renae anxiously awaits his answer.

“I’ll allow it,” Judge Mark sighs, “Mr. Miller, can you explain these?” He shows the pictures to Joel, whose ears are flaming red. But his eyes adjust to the lights and the small ten by ten picture and Renae she’s something in his eyes click just then, like he instantly remembers the incident.

“I do your honor,” he clears his throat, “That was the night she was blackout drunk and came at me with a knife, while Sarah was home, might I add.“

“He’s lying!”

“Mrs. Miller,” Judge Mark scolds her and then tells Joel to continue, folding his hands underneath his chin.

“Well, I managed to get the knife outta her hand and had to hold her down, which is where those marks are.” Joel gestures towards the pictures that Judge Mark has, “She managed to get out of my grip and so I had to put her arm behind her back and hold her there until she calmed down.”

“Do you have proof of this incident?”

“I’m sure I have texts to my brother about it, if you can give me some time to look.”

Judge Mark glances at the clock on the wall to his left and sits in silence for just a few seconds, fifteen minute recess, he announces as he slams his gavel loudly, you’re adjourned.

—

Renae storms into the small office she has at the courthouse, her eyes blazing with fury. "Why didn't you tell me about this?" she demands, slamming the picture on the maple wood table, "I explicitly asked you if Annie would have any evidence to make you look bad!"

Joel looks sheepish, avoiding her gaze. "I didn't think it was relevant," he mumbles, “Or at least… I burned it from my memory. The one and only time I had to put my hands on her.” He flips the picture over so he doesn’t have to look at it again, clearly ashamed of it.

Renae clenches her fists, trying to control her anger. She knows Joel isn’t a violent person, but the judge doesn’t know that for sure. This incident could ruin everything they had been working for.

“Joel. Everything is relevant right now, you know this.” She scolds, taking a deep breath after. “Like your texts to Tommy, can you find them, please.” She can’t sit down, she’s too on edge to even think about sitting. Renae hasn’t been beaten like this in court since she started her career and it was against Garcia Cole.

It’s like some sort of crazy deja vu and she’s not liking it at all.

"Yeah, gimme about five minutes to find it,” Joel tries to calm Renae down as he scrolls on his phone through his and Tommy’s texts. Renae scoffs to herself, she almost feels played by Joel, she can’t believe that he forgot to tell her this. This kind of thing is so important for an attorney to know and that fact that she didn’t, makes her work look lazy.

As she paces back and forth in the dimly lit room, her heels click on the hardwood floor and her mind races with all the possible implications of Joel's forgetfulness. How could he have missed such a crucial detail? Is he trying to hide something? What’s the benefit from doing that? There really is none. Renae's frustration simmers beneath the surface, stopping from threatening to boil over at any moment.

She knows she needs to confront Joel about this, but for now, she'll bide her time and wait for him to find the information she needs. There’s no point in blowing up on him for this now, now when this is all over, that’s another story.

"Aha, I found it!” Joel exclaims, with his phone in both hands he stands up from his seat causing the wood to scrape against the floor.

“Let me see,” Renae turns around from the window, she snatches it out of his hands and reads his short message to his brother.

Can Sarah and I come over for the night? Annie and I just got into it…she tried to stab me man. Nobody’s hurt but I gotta get out of here before somethin happens.

Renae stands there, her heart heavy with the weight of regret. The fury that once consumed her has now dissipated, leaving behind a deep sense of sympathy for Joel. His warm eyes hold a mixture of pain, but also a glimmer of forgiveness and hope that surprises her. As he slowly reaches out to touch her, he half expects her to recoil after learning this information, but instead, she stands still, letting his hands rest on her biceps.

“I’m- Joel… I’m sorry-“ she tries to convey her remorse before Joel's soft voice interrupts her, calming her inner turmoil.

"Don't, Rae... It's okay," he says gently, his gaze unwavering. And in that moment, Renae realizes that despite the small indiscretions, there is still a bond between them – a connection that goes past the brief anger and frustration.

—

Renae sits quietly in the courtroom as Judge Mark meticulously reads through the print out of the text exchange between Joel and his brother. Her stomach twists and her mouth is dry, she’s not sure how the Judge is going to react to this. Even though it’s all in Joel’s favor, the ultimate decision is up to the Judge and only him.

She carefully observes the expressions on the Judge's face, noticing the subtle shifts from surprise to empathy. As the message is scrutinized, Renae feels a small sense of assurance growing within her.

She knows that Judge Mark is starting to comprehend the complex web of circumstances that had led Joel to take drastic actions. She sees the wheels turning in his head that this is all a lie from Annie and a ploy to try to sway his decision.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the Judge looks up, locking eyes with Renae. In that moment, she senses a shared understanding between them. Despite the gravity of the situation, Renae feels a glimmer of hope that justice would prevail.

"Mrs. Miller, is there anything else you would like to provide?" Judge Mark asks into the courtroom, but mainly to his left.

“She has a two-bedroom condo that includes a room just for Sarah, and she started her job at her salon shop again.” Cole rolls off his tongue, but Renae senses the tone of defeat in his voice. “But other than that, we rest, your honor.”

Annie shakes her head in defeat, then turns towards Joel with a sad expression. Her eyes plead with him, silently begging for forgiveness or even a bit of leniency in this whole situation.

But Joel looks away, unable to meet her gaze, his heart heavy from the fact this even had to happen, even though he feels relaxed that it’s over. The air in the courtroom feels thick and sticky, suffocating him with its heaviness, and Joel longs to escape and never look back.

The thought of ever returning to this place makes his stomach churn with unease, a deep sense of discomfort settles in. Joel closes his eyes, trying to push away the feeling of sickness that threatens to engulf him, longing for the moment when he can walk out of that courtroom and leave this all behind him.

The Judge clears his throat, breaking the momentary stillness. "Very well. In light of the evidence presented, I have reached a decision."

Renae's trembling hand motions for Joel to silently stand by her side as Judge Mark prepares to deliver his decision. Garcia Cole does the same with Annie, common court courtesy. Renae's heart races in anticipation. Her mind spins with desperate pleas for Joel to be granted custody of his daughter, the one bright light in Sarah’s tumultuous lives.

Joel's eyes meet hers, filled with a mix of hope and fear, mirroring the emotions swirling within Renae. Then swiftly focus back on the deep voice that determines Joel's life in front of him.

As Judge Mark begins to speak, every word feels like an eternity, hanging in the air, heavy with implications. And then, finally, the words that they had been praying for.

“I grant Joel Miller sole legal and physical custody of Sarah Miller.”

Tears of relief and gratitude fill Renae's eyes as she squeezes Joel's hand, knowing that Joel got what he wished for, and rightfully deserved.

Joel can’t believe his ears as the Judge pronounces the decision in his favor, granting him sole legal and physical custody of Sarah. It’s the outcome he has hoped for, and the result of countless nights of worry and stress over the last four months has finally paid off. But the Judge's next words catch Joel off guard.

"However, I also grant Annie visitation every other weekend."

Joel's heart sinks at the mention of his ex-wife's name. The memories flood back - the good times, the bad times, and everything in between. Despite the mixed emotions swirling inside him, he knows that it’s the right thing for Sarah to have a relationship with her mother. Sarah deserves to know her roots, her history, her mother.

So, with a heavy heart and a mind full of conflicting thoughts, Joel makes the decision to just accept this and move on. The arrangement is set - pickups early Saturday mornings and drop-offs by Sunday evening, no later than eight pm.

As Joel looks into Renae’s eyes, he knows that despite the challenges ahead, he’ll navigate this new chapter to the best of his ability.

—

Standing in the parking lot, Renae leaning on her car and Joel doing the same, but on his truck. Side by side with one another, Renae doesn’t want to leave. The cool evening breeze sweeps through the small empty space between them, carrying the faint scent of pine trees. Renae's heart feels heavy as she looks up at the dusky pink sky, knowing that this moment might be the last time she sees Joel.

Joel senses Renae's hesitation and reaches out to gently touch her hand. Her forest eyes and his whiskey ones meet, sparking a silent conversation that speaks volumes. Time seems to stand still as they stand there, unwilling to look away. She knows she has to go, but something holds her back.

Maybe it’s the way Joel looks at her with his soft brown orbs, or it’s the memories of their minuscule time together flooding back. Renae doesn’t want to leave, and doesn't want to say goodbye to what could have been or could be.

As the sun rests above the courthouse, Joel pulls Renae close, feeling the weight of the moment settle upon him. They stand in the quiet embrace, both reluctant to let go of the memories they shared these past four months.

Joel can feel the tears welling up in his eyes, but he blinks them away, not wanting to show his vulnerability. Letting go of Renae was proving to be harder than he thought. He never expected to become so attached. This woman has rescued him and his daughter from his toxic ex-wife, and for the first time in years, he feels truly understood by a woman. Renae looks up at him, still in his arms, her eyes reflecting a mixture of sadness and gratitude.

"Thank you for everything, Rae," Joel murmurs to Renae, his voice barely above a whisper. “But ya’ know this means we can now, maybe… Get serious.”

Butterflies flutter in her stomach but instantly die. She reluctantly slides out of his warm embrace and takes a small step away from him.

There’s no way that can happen right now, Joel needs time with his daughter and needs to figure out his life as a single dad.

She doesn’t feel it’s fair for him to jump right into the next relationship, especially that he has a daughter at a highly impressionable age.

She smiles softly, her right hand reaching up to cup his cheek, her acrylics softly scratch his deep brown beard, and her eyes glisten with unshed tears. "Don't thank me, Joel," she whispers, her voice barely audible, purposefully avoiding the last part of his sentence, "I did what I had to do.”

Joel takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself. His left hand raises to where Renae rests on him, the touch gentle yet filled with longing. "You saved me," he says, his voice breaking with emotion. "I woulda’ been lost without you. You saved me ‘n my daughter, that’s all I coulda’ asked for."

“As much as I want to be with you… Joel,” she sighs into his gentle touch, “It just can’t happen right now, you just divorced and have a ten year old girl who loves you and needs you. I can’t get in between that. It’s not fair to her, you, or me.”

Renae's heart aches as she looks into Joel's eyes, feeling the pull of their connection. Despite the yearning for him swirling within her, she knows that the timing is all wrong. She can’t bring herself to disrupt the fragile balance of his newly divorced life and his daughter's need for stability. The love between them was undeniable, but yet their circumstances make it impossible for them to be together.

Joel's touch holds a mixture of longing and understanding as he whispers softly, "I know it's complicated ‘n all, but my feelings for you are real, Rae and I won’t deny that. When the time is right, we’ll find a way to make it work."

Renae forces a bittersweet smile, touched by his sincerity. With a heavy heart, she pulls away from his cheek, knowing that for now, they have to part ways to do what is best for everyone involved.

Renae's eyes meet him again, a mixture of sorrow and love shining battling for the throne. "But… We saved each other," she replies softly.

"We'll always have these moments, Joel. No matter where life takes us," Renae whispers back, her voice filled with love and understanding. Joel softly chuckles and a warm smile grows on his lips, and then it’s like time stands still.

Finally, Renae breaks the silence, her voice barely a whisper, "I don't wanna say goodbye." Joel's gaze softens, and he pulls her into one more tight embrace.

The world seems to fade away once again as they hold each other, savoring the moment before they have to part ways. The memories of their time together flood back to both of them, filling their hearts with a bittersweet ache that they can both feel through one another.

For Renae, leaving was inevitable, yet she can’t bear the thought of being separated from Joel. Their love, even though they haven’t told each other, has blossomed unexpectedly, catching them both by surprise. As they stand there, wrapped in each other's arms, they know that this goodbye was not the end, but possibly a new beginning.

Just not together, at least right now.

As Renae reluctantly lets go of Joel, she softly sighs, I gotta get home. He nods his head and takes a small step back to give her space, drive safely, text me when you’re home please. She smiles and tells him she will.

Hesitantly, Renae hops into her car and starts it, she looks to her left one more time and sees Joel, still out of his truck, already looking at her. She gives a hopeful smile and a small wave, which he returns. She tells herself to pull away, just drive off, and somehow she does.

Renae can’t shake off the bittersweet feeling as she drives away. Her heart feels heavy, but she knows it’s the right decision and the only decision. As the distance between her and Joel grows, she can’t help but replay the moment in her mind.

The hopeful smile on his face lingers in her thoughts, filling her with conflicting emotions. A part of her wants to turn back, to stay and see where things could lead, but another part knows it’s time to move on. She keeps driving, the road stretching out ahead of her like a blank canvas. With each passing mile, she feels a sense of freedom and a twinge of sadness.

Why does the world need to be so cruel?

—

With every passing day, it seems Joel has an incredibly difficult time letting go of Renae. The last thing he ever expected was becoming attached to his divorce attorney. It’s only been three weeks since the last time they've seen each other, and a couple days that they stopped calling one another, but he’s found himself unable to stop thinking about her.

Her laughter echoes in his mind, her smile still lighting up his world. They had shared intimate conversations and created unforgettable memories together in the short four months, so how could he ever just let her go?

Before court started, Joel knew he would have to leave her but he didn’t think he would’ve struggled with the idea of saying goodbye. When he watched her drive away, leaving him in the parking lot to go home, Joel realized that sometimes, the hardest part of love is knowing when to set it free.

Now, on a warm sunny Saturday, Joel sits at the park watching Sarah play with Ellie on the monkey bars, feeling the weight of his responsibilities as a single dad. Renae's words echo in his mind, that he needs time to adjust to his new life as a single dad. Her words sting since he’s pretty much been one for the last four-five years anyways.

As he sits on one of the many park benches and stares off into space and he wonders why she really didn’t want to be with him, Sarah tugs at his sleeve, a wide grin on her face. In her innocent eyes, he finds the strength to push aside his doubts and focus on what truly matters - his daughter's happiness. Joel knows he needs to navigate this new chapter with care and consideration, not just for himself but for her.

Although, Renae's words linger, a reminder of the delicate balance between his own desires and his daughter's well-being. As he holds Sarah’s hand, Joel makes a silent promise to tread carefully, embracing the uncertainty of this new journey as a true single father. Not a husband who does everything.

As they walk towards Joel's truck, Sarah can’t shake off the feeling that something’s wrong with her dad. She glances at him, his face etched with lines that she hasn’t noticed in a long time.

"You alright, dad?" she asks, tightening her grip on his hand. Ellie senses the tension, and gives Sarah a reassuring smile.

Joel pauses and looks at her, his eyes reflecting a mixture of emotions. "I'm fine, sweetie," he finally replies, forcing a smile. But Sarah can tell he’s hiding something. As Joel opens the truck door and lets the girls climb in, buckling themselves up before he shuts the door and walks over to the driver side. His mind is racing, how can Sarah tell? How can his ten-year-old daughter know that something is wrong? He thought he was better at hiding his emotions.

As he drives down the road, Joel steals glances at Sarah and Ellie through the rearview mirror. They're both laughing about something on the playground they saw, and Joel smiles. The sun is setting, casting a warm glow on their faces, and Joel feels a surge of love for his daughter and her best friend. He remembers the struggles they've been through, the joys they've shared, and the bond that holds them together.

Sarah looks up and catches Joel's eye in the mirror. She gives him a wide grin, her eyes sparkling with mischief. Ellie chimes in, asking if they can stop for McDonald’s, even though Joel hates when they eat junk food, he figures today will be okay and that it won’t hurt them. They deserve a small treat, he reasons.

As Ellie's persistent cravings for McDonald's reach its peak, Joel finally surrenders with a defeated chuckle. "Alright, we can stop," he concedes, knowing there’s no way around it. Ellie and Sarah’s eyes light up with excitement as they pull into the drive-thru, both their mouths already watering at the thought of their favorite fast food place.

Joel can’t help but smile at their enthusiasm, realizing that sometimes giving in to simple pleasures is what makes life all the more enjoyable. As they sit in the car waiting for their order, Joel can’t help but be grateful for these ordinary moments that bring him and his daughter, and Ellie, closer together since the divorce.

[immissingmaxx]

My Mascot //Tendou Satori

Chapter One: Dumb Eagle

Summery: Tendou's life has always been surrounded by volleyballs, nets, and the squeaky shoes of sweaty men. Tendou loves it, always has and always will. But what happens something, or someone, interferes.

•Warnings(?)

Tendou has sensitive/ fragile hands, clumsy reader, antisocial reader, my first fic (thats a warning), UBER short reader

•Word Count: 935

-

"Lets go, Ushijima! Ushijima! Ushijima!"

Usually the cheering of the crowd doesn't get to me. But today it seems everything's pissing me off today. Especially because the coach decided to bench me last minute before the game.

Maybe entirely because I've been benched last minute before the game. All because i forgot my finger tape.

"It's dangerous." "You could hurt yourself."

Since when did they care!? Put me in!

Put me in. Put me in. Put me in! Put me in!!

"Nice kill! Ushijima! Ushijima! Ushijima!"

Its the first break already. Wakatoshi approached me, somehow keeping his stoic facade even being sweaty and out of breath.

"Are you still benched?" Wakatoshi asked me, as everything in this gym has been, it only irked me more.

"Yes! Coach put me in i swear i wont get hurt!" I tried pleading the coach again.

"I know how sensitive your hands are Tendou. You'll definitely get hurt."

"Wait why's he bench again?" Goshiki wiped his face from sweat. Being benched was so last minute no one knew why.

"I forgot my stupid tape thats why! I don't need it, put me in!"

"Wait you forgot your tape? I have some." Goshiki, my sweet Goshiki.

"Really? Where is it? Its in your bag right? Can i borrow it? Ill buy you a bun! Where is it Goshiki?" I pressed Goshiki to for an answer, anything to be put in.

"Uh yeah, i think i left it in the changing room though." I was quick on my feet, if i get it before the end of the break i can play.

"Hurry it up Tendou." The coach yelled after me, but i was already halfway out the gym.

I made it to the locker room in no time, the sweaty stench never got to me, i bet if it was cleaned a thousand times it'd still smell like ass but i dont care. Now to find the tape.

-

Im bolting down the hall, they should seriously put the changing rooms closer to the gym, if im late I won't be put into the ga-

"Ah!" I stumbled back, i bumped into something in my rush, i didn't even see anything.

"Im so sorry, I wasn't looking where i was-" i looked down at the small figure i had knocked down.

An eagle?

Y/n's Pov

Shit.

I took a small nap to regain my energy before i go out and be around other people again. Apparently small naps aren't so small.

If schools not exhausting enough i also have to take an extracurricular if i want to graduate. All the clubs are boring and being around other people have never been my forte. This whole extracurricular thing is stupid i just wanna graduate. But if i need something quick and easy, mascot it is.

Im not sure if i should be thankful i took my costume home or not. I took it back to my dorm so thats i can clean it and make it smell less of other people's socks. But now im running all the way to the gym in a bulky eagle outfit.

The games already started, everyone might me mad at me. All i had to do is show up, jump around excitedly and leave, but i couldn't even do that.

I put my helmet on as i neared the gym. It makes it a bit hard to se but It's just on the right-

"Ah!" I fell back to the ground as i bumped into something.

"Im so sorry, I wasn't looking where i was-"

I guess i bumped into someone as they started rambling an apology, but he suddenly went quiet. The contact knocked my helmet over so i couldn't see a thing.

"No no, it's okay, my helmet makes it hard to see." I pawed at my large helmet, trying to figure out how to fix it. A hand suddenly scooping itself under my arm and lifting me to my feet.

"Your our mascot! Man i forgot we had one." He turned my helmet turned to my face, shifting it to make it comfortable.

I could see him.

Sort of.

A tall, lanky, sort of frayed figure. He was wearing a uniform, i could make out that much, maybe he was on the team.

"Shouldn't you be at the game." He asked me, taking in the sight of my costume.

"Um, shouldn't you?" I questioned back. He froze, suddenly bolting off down the hall.

"Crap the game! I forgot about the game!" He yelled as he ran down the hall. I guess i should follow him.

Tendou's Pov

The game, i totally forgot about the game! Im gonna be late and i won't be put in, no theres only a minute left, i can make it.

Well. I made it.

I jumped onto the court, overcomed with excitement.

"Here.. I.. am!!!" I hoped to my teammates.

"About time. Almost thought we were gonna play without you."

"Yeah, i ran into-"

The crowed suddenly roared with cheers. I turned behind me, it was the mascot girl from earlier. She finally showed up.

She galloped in and jumped around, waving to the crowd. Thats all she's doing, she must not be really into this.

"We have a mascot? I forgot." Goshiki said as we all watched her jump around.

"No one would wear the costume, guess it's too embarrassing."

She continued to gallop and jump down the gym, jumping into a bench and completely falling over it.

"..Yea that is embarrassing." Ohira deadpanned, watching the mascot pick herself up. "That's some dumb eagle."

"Yeah.. dumb."

//

A/n: I skimmed through this a bit, does that count as proofreading?? I hope to continue writing this so lets hope i have the energy to do so🙏

[doomed-era]

for that ship ask game: mipha x link and midna x zelda?

YAYYY I love miphlink and midzel!!!

ok this is a long one so yay we get a cut.

Mipha/Link:

yeeeesss I think these two are cute as hell. I think there's some exploration to be had with their relationship being explicitly romantic. enough that i've written a fic about them, so. yeah I like it. I don't remember exactly when I got into it, it's been in the back of my mind for a long time since I've always liked Mipha. sidon saying Link looks upset after the Mipha memory still gets me

As for why I like them? I've gone over how I interpret Mipha's character a couple of times before but I'll try to sum it up: Mipha and Link are frightfully similar characters in more ways than one. They are quiet warriors who are willing to sacrifice everything for Hyrule (and, in a way, the status quo), and are treated as larger-than-life heroes before and after their deaths. It's difficult to know what they thought about this, because not only do they not talk about their motivations, Breath of the Wild doesn't really want to dwell on them and instead is happy to just see them as their roles. Link is the brave knight who is faithful to his duty and royalty (barf), and Mipha is the. girl version of this which is basically saying she's treated as saintly and passive and self-sacrificial (barf). I want something better for them!! grabs them both like this!!!

WITH ALL THAT ASIDE. I think the whole unrequited love thing Mipha has going with Link is boring unless Mipha and Link's psyches are explored respectfully (heaven knows Some People think she's better off dead and "lustful and creepy." somehow???? putting them in a relationship filters out a lot of that sentiment/I think pining like that can get obnoxious if it's stretched out.) so. I prefer them being in a relationship and exploring how that affects them. because BOY do I think it would. their similar natures would absolutely make their lives hard because they are AWFUL communicators and are constantly throwing themselves in front of each other. mipha keeps trying to figure out what link's doing and what happened to him while. not actually saying this sentiment out loud. and link's just in knight mode, being his. knightly selfless self while that's not what mipha wants! she KNOWS it's just a facade! meanwhile she's trying to keep up her OWN facade of unconditional gentleness while also being under so much pressure and not wanting to have anyone to lean on because everyone ELSE is under pressure too and link won't confide in her because vulnerability is for suckers and mid-afternoon snacktime. YIPPEEEEEEEE!!!! maybe in a better world they'd figure that out. in a world that accepted them for who they are instead of forcing them to perform. in a world that allowed them to be selfish. and maybe, together, they can learn to be selfish for each other.

also I think sidon being link's brother in law is funny

hot take mipha isn't creepy for liking link now that he's older it's like an aragorn/arwen thing. I understand that it's kind of unusual for someone to think that way about a childhood friend, but I don't think it's morally wrong. leave her alone for god's sake the amount of hate i've seen in the miphlink tag makes my blood boil. I've read fics treating her like some sort of byword. you don't have to like her, and criticizing a female character is okay. mipha's writing isn't the greatest (I mean, no female character in BOTW/TOTK is really written adequately, especially if they get slotted into a love interest role) but I think you all are just being sexist and trying to convince yourselves you're morally correct for it by covering it up with puritanism. you're not slick.

OKAY. SORRY FOR THE TEXTWALL LMAO

Midna/Zelda:

OH I SHIP THEM BABEY!!!! mostly bc of some lovely art I've seen on tumblr and rotating the "your heart and mine were one" line in my head (I am paraphrasing i don't think that's the actual line but MIDNAS FACE WHEN ZELDA SAID THAT. AUGH) also their general familiarity with each other/Midna's quips towards her.

why I ship them? uhh well as mentioned. the lines/their chemistry although not really dwelt upon is good. and also I like both of them a lot and TP Zelda is a lesbian midna is bisexual 100% ok byebye

hot takes? idk I really don't have any. I just kinda like them they're pretty

[nxnarui]

Introducing my DoL PC, Evelyn the Two-faced.

I've been playing this game for a while and this character of mine has been in my head for quite some time.

I'm kinda aiming for a "Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" vibe to her. She is seen as an ideal student and a holy child by others.

I've put quite some effort into grinding her stats to fit what I have envisioned for her. I'm gonna write down here her story.

"She is like an angel, but remember that demons can shapeshift."

Evelyn lives in the orphanage with a strong will to fight, when she was 18 she had problems paying off her debts to Bailey, so she took many jobs such as working for the cafe and taking shifts from the office building, but none of these are enough to get by the week. So she resorted to knocking at the doors of Danube Street to get more cash to pay off those weekly debts. But ended up being r//ed in the process, being molested in the bus all the time. She tried fighting back but it was never enough because of her weak physique. Every morning she was tired and if it wasn't for her friend Robin, she wouldn't have the energy to go to school. She would often get bullied by Whitney most of the time, but when she fought back once to him she gained the motivation to work out. As time passed, she worked out most of the time, sometimes neglecting her studies and having low grades. She started talking to Sydney while she studied to gain more understanding of her subjects, and she found out Whitney also picked on him. She had more reason to gain motivation, the bus wasn't any different but this gave her the motivation to work out till she reached the peak physique she desired.

The more she exercised the more she got r//ed, she was always in Harper's office because of pushing herself every day trying to keep working out, studying, and socializing at the same time. She went to the asylum once because of all the trauma she endured from all those circumstances. She went back in again because she couldn't pay off her debt to Bailey and was sold off to Eden. She felt like she had no hope for herself, she was soiled. Every inch of her body was touched by strangers. She vents these problems to Sydney, who she has the last hope for. Something in her decided to corrupt this pure and innocent man, so she did. She joined the temple to break the vows of the Temple with him. Her whole life changed when she met him, she had more control over herself, learned how to fight back, learned how to take care of herself, and prayed and prayed to gain grace for the church. But all of this is a facade, she's only here for Sydney. Her grades went up, and so did her popularity. Everyone thought she was very cool. Whitney tried intervening in this popularity but the more control she has over herself the more she wants to corrupt everyone else. Make them her dogs, obeying her every move. She wants to do this to Whitney especially, as time passes she becomes a worse bully than Whitney. Even if people send her to detention, Leighton always wonders why she's there. Even if they scream for help, no one will come to their aid.

"Her big red lips are filled with lies."

Here's what she looks like in game!

Also she's not entirely evil, she still has kindness inside her, she just doesn't see the world as a nice place anymore. And all you need is to survive, and she doesn't want to be prey anymore.

[mrsnancywheeler]

OKAY SO-

You said onetime that Finnick and sweet girl have major hadestown vibes and that’s so real!!! (That literature paper I wrote that was around 4,000 was actually about hadestown! I was writing about the contemporary political themes and love)

The sudden way Finnick went to talk to her for the first time reminds me so much of “come home with me” and overall their love story reminds me of “all I’ve ever known” because of just how much they’re like “the world is shit but when I’m with you everything is okay” yk? And Finnick is so Orpheus, willing to risk everything for Eurydice.

ALSO!!! Sweet girl reminds me of “flowers” specifically after the capitol took her after the quarter quell. I mean the whole song takes place when Eurydice can’t remember Orpheus but all she can’t remember is the feeling of safety, the feeling of belonging,

I could talk about hadestown all day (my original draft was 5,000 words) , and I could talk about the lakes all day

-🌾anon

YES YES YES I've be wanting to fully explore this so buckle up guys this is a long ride, ily so much pookie bc I've missed your thoughts while I've been sick 😭

(also that as an essay topic is so real and I bet it was absolutely amazing)

starting off with all I've ever known because it is so absolutely them in every sense of the song

"this is how it's always been, all I've ever known is how to hold my own, but now I want to hold you too." finnick only has people he perceives as fair weather friends or those who use him, but then there's her and suddenly he doesn't have to worry about that. and she's so used to masking, protecting herself but then there's him, all she longs for.

we know sweet girl is always cold and finnick is the warmth to contrast that, her sun to keep her from freezing "you take me in your arms, suddenly there's sunlight all around me, everything bright and warm and shining like it never did before and for a moment I forget just how dark and cold it gets."

"now I wanna hold you, hold you close, I don't wanna ever have to let you go. now I wanna hold you, hold you tight, I don't wanna go back to the lonely life." both of them longing for each other's touch, presence, the release found in being with one another

readers anxiety about not being worthy and deserving suffering is so, "I don't know how or why. who am I, that I should get to hold you?"

and finnick knowing she's the one before they've even really spoken, he just knows it's right is so, "it's like I'd known you all along, I knew you before we met and I don't even know you yet. all I know's you're someone I have always known."

and him and his sweet girl as the back in forth at the end, chef's kiss perfect

"say that you'll hold me forever. say that the wind won't change on us. say that we'll stay with each other and it will always be like this." with her never ending anxieties

"I'm gonna hold you forever, the wind will never change on us. long as we stay with each other, then it will always be like this." as finnick trying to reassure his sweet girl.

side bar to a line in hey, little songbird that always makes me think of her when she's trying to differentiate reality from lies in the Capitol

"suddenly nothing is as it was. where are you now, orpheus? wasn't it gonna be the two of us, weren't we birds of a feather?"

moving onto flowers which is so her

"dreams are sweet until they're not. men are kind, until they aren't. flowers bloom until they rot and fall apart." the dream of being with finnick getting her through the games versus the reality of winning and what that took. the trafficking faced in the capitol AND when conway turned on her, playing into the romantic facade in the end. her when she was young, become a husk of that.

and then the feeling when she's in the Capitol and can't verbalize how she's feeling, she just needs people to know because it's all too much. she doesn't want to be unreadable, she longs to be herself again but isn't quite there yet.

"is anybody listening? I open my mouth and nothing comes out. nothing. nothing gonna wake me now."

then out of all the negative, twisted memories, the positive anecdotes she does have. and the way she's so scared but still longs for finnick regardless.

"flowers, I remember fields of flowers, soft beneath my heels. walking in the sun, I remember someone, someone by my side turned his face to mine."

"you, the one I left behind. if you ever walk this way, come and find me lying in the bed I made."

AND FINNICK IS JUST SO WAIT FOR ME CODED

"wait for me, I'm coming. wait, I'm coming with you. wait for me, I'm coming too." like he so desperately wanted to instantly go back to the capitol and save her or just be with her that he was stuck in a constant state of sedation when they refused to let him.

"that town'll try to suck you dry. they'll suck your brain, they'll suck your breath, they'll pluck your heart right out of your chest." the lengths he's willing to go, the trials he'll endure for her

a small time to flash back to wedding song because on a fluffier note it's so a back and forth between them

sweet girl is so "lover, tell me if you can, who's gonna buy the wedding bands? times being what they are, hard and getting harder all the time."

and the ever reassuring finnick "lover, when I sing my song, all the rivers will sing along. and they're gonna break their banks for us and with their gold be generous. all a-flashing in the pan, all to fashion for your hand, the rivers gonna give us the wedding bands."

okay and the way reader views herself and what Snow manipulation to hijack her, and how they always mention fate is tearing them apart is very akin to when the chips are down.

"help yourself, to hell with the rest, even the one who loves you best."

"what you gonna do when the chips are down? now that the chips are down. " " oh, my aching heart."

"ain't nobody but yourself to trust"

"aim for the heart, shoot to kill. if you don't do it then the other one will."

"cast your eyes to heaven, you get a knife in the back. nobody's righteous, nobody's proud, nobody's innocent, now that the chips are down"

AND PROMISES like finnick trying to work them back though what the Capitol did to her and she's so desperate to be herself again even if she's struggling. and he's trying but he uncertain on how to do it especially since this isn't the future he necessarily envisioned for them.

(in a sweet girl then finnick line set up)

"let's go, let's go right now"

"okay, let's go. how?"

"we'll walk, you know the way. we'll just come back the way you came."

"it's a long road, it's a long walk. back into the cold and dark. are you sure you wanna go?"

"take me home."

"I have no ring for your finger, I have no banquet table to lay, I have no bed of feathers, whatever promises I made. I can't promise you fair sky above, I can't promise you kind road below, but I'll walk beside you love. anyway the wind blows."

"I don't need gold or silver. just bread when I'm hungry, fire when I'm cold. don't need a ring for my finger, just a steady hand to hold...just walk beside me love, anyway the wind blows"

and both of them "do you let me walk with you? I do. I do. and keep on walking come what will? I will. I will. we will."

this is all for now because it's so long but they're literally them and I'm convinced this is just one of the lessons they've learned in a past life when he turned around. so now he's learning to trust in this life.

and as evident so can I lmao 😭 I'm glad we're on the same page though. love you 💋

[colourstreakgryffin]

do you do ships if so can you do agnst of tanjiro x zenitsu

its a short story about zenitsu dying in tanjiros arms surrounded by the whole squad after fighting a very strong demon

please and thank you :)

Oh? Hmm. I can try something. Never done a actual KNY ship before yet so this’ll be interesting! This is a bit short and a little rushed but I hope you like it!

My Mistake- TanZen/TanjiroxZenitsu

Inosuke held Nezuko in his arms as she laid her head fast asleep on his shoulder in her smaller form, his hidden eyes trained on the hideous sight before him and made him step back slightly, his eyes threatening to water. He thanked the gods his mask filtered the air he breathed so he couldn’t smell how truly bad the pungency was

Kanao kept Genya’s arm wrapped firmly around the curve of her neck to her shoulder, keeping him still on his feet with her body’s support as his temporary demonic powers kicked in to heal the few wounds he was experiencing. She was deeply upset over what she was seeing and her senses overloaded with the misery and the disgust

Tanjiro cried out, mixed with frustration and regret as his strong arms protectively clutched his frantically bleeding friend, Agatsuma Zenitsu, a boy who risked his life for Tanjiro so he could actually slay the unrecognised Upper Moon the little team battled on their own with no Hashira assistance. Kanao had already sent a crow out for help so hopefully, a Hashira with some Kakushi are on their way to pick the group up and tend to their injuries. Preferably Shinobu so she can look after Zenitsu straight away

Tanjiro simply hated how he couldn’t stop the bleeding, even after he tied his haori around the waist wound firmly. There was no stopping it, Zenitsu was truly dying as he laid partly limp in Tanjiro’s grasp as he tried to fight off the ringing in his ears to speak. The blood pooled around Zenitsu’s damaged frame, staining his golden yellow haori and torn uniform

All the Kamaboko Squad were beaten up bad but not nearly as bad as Zenitsu. He, most definitely, sustained a nasty internal organ injury in his successful attempt to protect Tanjiro from the monstrous demon’s almost impossible to dodge Blood Demon Art. A fatal injury that cannot be fixed unless he is magically teleported to the Butterfly Estate in this very moment.

What can he do?! Tanjiro has always been the one to fix every single issue he and his group comes across, but he doesn’t know how to fix this problem, what must he do to stop Zenitsu from dying on him

Tanjiro prayed internally for a Hashira to show up before he could merely blink. He can’t bare to lose another somebody so unbelievably important to him; first his father, then his family, then Nezuko’s human self but no— Zenitsu can’t join that list. He just can’t. Tanjiro tried his best to gaslights himself to believe he wasn’t going through immense grief as he didn’t want to admit he had no real hope to save Zenitsu

Zenitsu quickly gathered his remaining strength to smile at the sight of his panicking friend, who he had developed a secret crush on and kept it hidden for ages. Even if their first meeting was rather rocky, Zenitsu found himself idolising Tanjiro for his pure heart and incredible skills

It was a sense of passionate idolisation at first but then that platonic view dissolved into a real romantic crush. It beyond buried the feelings he briefly had for Nezuko but he kept that facade up in concern he would seem very weird for switching so fast

Was it right for him to like Tanjiro more than a friend, a boy whilst being a boy? Zenitsu knew in this moment, as his functions shut down quickly, that he needed to let his feelings run out before he leaves the Earth for good. Zenitsu sadly wont be able to actually be with Tanjiro, the way he dreamed about but telling him how he feels for him is more than enough

“…Th… an…k… yo… u….” Tanjiro responded instantly to Zenitsu’s very slow speech, anxiety and worry rising every second as one of his hands went up to the wound drenching his dark green and black checkered haori in thick oozes of ruby red blood and pushing down in high hopes to suppress the blood flow but to no avail.

Zenitsu couldn’t say absolutely everything he wanted to Tanjiro with how weak and frail he has become in little time but he was prepared to say the most important thing, his planned confession replayed over and over in his mind whilst overtaking his attention from the intense pain he was in. It was time

“I’ll get help, Zenitsu. Stay with me, I’ll save you!” Zenitsu kept his gentle smile up for as long as he possibly could, his blinking slow and his breathing lowering so much until it seemed that he was holding his breath. Tanjiro felt like holding his own, his stressed glowing eyes locked on the other boy’s darkening irises as he paid his full attention onto him

Zenitsu willingly used almost all he had left of the energy and strength within his rapidly depleting systems to lift his hand up, brushing it over Tanjiro’s trickling lacerated cheek as those uncontrollable tears leaking from his beautiful plum red eyes rolled down his skin to his sleeve. He didn’t want Tanjiro to worry about him anymore as he finally managed to say what he has been wanting to say for days now

“I… lo… v.. e… yo… u… T… an… ji… r… o” Zenitsu mustered out those four words as he begun seeing such a blinding white light before him, his hand dropped to his side with a grassy-cushioned thud whilst his dark electric yellow eyes quickly faded to a dull cloudy white. Just then, Zenitsu had passed away from intense blood lost as Tanjiro screamed out in outrage, loudly sobbing his heart out inbetween begs for the heavens bring Zenitsu back.

All his minor wounds plus the huge injury worked together to squeeze him dry of his needed life essence like a fruit squeezing out juice. He couldn’t keep holding on anymore, the coldness overtook his body and he felt so comfortable in Tanjiro’s firm yet loving grasp that he felt all so ready to walk over the rainbow bridge. Even though, it left his newfound love behind

Tanjiro mindlessly cuddled Zenitsu’s bloodied lifeless corpse, still crying as heavy as before. His throat and eyes burnt with exhaustion as so did everyone of his puckered-out muscles. His entire body throbbed in pure pain whilst he sat on his knees in no care for anything he felt as he just cried over Zenitsu

His friends never left nor moved, silently surrounding the two as they struggled against their sadness over Zenitsu’s death, none wanted to distract the distraught Tanjiro letting his feelings out. Inosuke bit on his lip to try hide his sobbing as Genya and Kanao cried outloud with their heads pressed against each other in attempts to comfort each other

“Zenitsu! I’m so sorry! I love you too!”

[normal-thoughts-official]

Just absolutely heartbroken thinking about how Mal and Imtura must have missed each other after they had their fallout

Imtura and Mal always got each other and were easily the fastest, easiest bond to form between any of the LIs with each other. Not that the other possible combinations aren't all great in their own way (that's one of the strengths of Blades imo), but Mal and Imtura think similarly, have similar values, similar personalities, and, from what I can remember, never even had a single disagreement the whole time they were traveling together. Their dynamic was easy, tripping each other up on the streets of Undermount, they brought a lightness to each other and the group that no one else could. They both understood what it's like to be an outcast - Imtura for being an orc, Mal for being extremely poor. They even had a similar kind of complicated relationship with their past/family, where they both ran as far as possible from them and couldn't push it fully away

My point is, they understood each other possibly the best out of any other dynamic in that group. And it showed, from the way they always had similar opinions and worldviews to the way they joked around easily nearly from day 1. And because a good part of that bonding was exactly because they were both outcasts in nearly all the places they went to together, losing that meant that, once again, they were left to be the odd one out, the one no one really understands. Especially without MC, who, depending on your choices, also had a similar dynamic with them both

For Imtura especially I just cannot imagine how hard it must have been. She was convinced someone she loved deeply (whether romantically or not) was dead. She watched them get snagged right in front of her as she was helpless - the single thing she hates being more than anything - to do anything, and then she was convinced they had died, and she was heartbroken. And then all her other friends, the ones who were supposed to get how she was feeling because they went through the exact same thing, turned their backs to her

And I can't be sure, but I strongly suspect that Imtura knew or at least thought that Mal agreed that MC was dead. I mean, let's be real, nothing else makes sense for his character. Mal has never been an optimist a day in his life. They met Threep and his instant reaction was "clearly this thing is gonna grow to be huge and eat our faces off". He has that whole devil-may-care attitude about being in dangerous situations, yes, which we know is a facade (he himself said he's always a little afraid), but when it comes to predicting the outcomes of things? Mal always expects the worst. And MC had been missing without any leads for a year. In the Shadow Realm, which no one had ever come out of alive before Kade. At that point, thinking MC was dead was more logical than thinking they were alive

And if Imtura knew all of that, which I think she did even if subconsciously... It must have hurt even more that Mal still sided with Tyril and Nia, which he has never done before, mind you, and cut his ties with her. I mean, I'm sure it was two-way, but still. Just like that, she lost all her friends when she was already going through an extremely rough grief process. And the one she was the closest to took the others' side even though he agreed with her. She didn't even have her crew anymore because she couldn't go to the sea again without MC. She had no one and nowhere to turn to at all, in a city full of humans that she barely knew on top of that

Meanwhile Mal also lost his greatest ally on top of going through the exact same grief process, except he had to hide it and keep going. He was burning the candle at both ends trying to keep himself busy and continuing a search that he didn't even believe in, while hiding his true feelings/opinion from Nia and Tyril, who, on top of that, had always had a tendency to side with each other against Mal because they came from similarly sheltered and rigid backgrounds. I'm not saying they were ganging up on him or putting him aside on purpose, and it's clear he grew even closer to the both of them, but when it came to deciding what to do or discussing the ethics or something, Nia and Tyril had always been on the same side. And even on a more day-to-day basis, there are many things Nia and Tyril just can't understand because they were so sheltered. I'm aware Imtura is a princess, but she's been living as a pirate for a long time now, so she's lived in a world way closer to Mal's than theirs - starting with also being on the "wrong" side of the law. Also, she's an orc. No place but Flotilla is ever truly welcoming to her, and Flotilla doesn't feel like her home either for different reasons

And the signs of how much they missed each other was there. I don't see any reason whatsoever for Imtura to stay in Whitetower - a city I think she complained about more than Undermount - other than the fact that she knew Mal and Nia were there. Maybe she couldn't go to Flotilla or the sea, but there were still plenty of better places for her than Whitetower. And Mal had been keeping tabs on her. And not the casual kind of keeping tabs either, because he knew exactly where she would be the same second MC asked. And they don't have GPS tracking and Mal is the only one out of the remaining trio who doesn't have magic. Mal had to make a huge effort to be able to keep tabs on her like that. And he was the only one who did, despite the fact that Nia and Tyril could have done so way more easily. I have no doubt in my mind that he kept watching her so closely because he missed her. And she still wanted to be close to them, even if only in the vaguest possible terms, despite the fact that Whitetower is an actively hostile place to orcs

And I just. IDK. They were both actively grieving/mourning MC and doing so alone (although in different contexts) and in spaces where they were the odd one out and Imtura in particular was turning to the most unhealthy coping mechanisms known to man. And they could have easily supported each other. And from what we've seen, they wanted to. And they didn't. Because one of the things they are similar in is the way they avoid letting themselves be vulnerable and forgive like that. And it makes me so sad

[presiding]

Another question regarding the fic. I wanted to make it short but couldn't word it this way

I liked how you choose lethal elimination of Breanna in your monster in the hull fic. Was it done from Emily's character perspective or do you think that Ashworth is a lost cause herself?

Personally,i always felt conflicted on that matter. She's too dependant on Delilah.

Her whole freedom is about running away from an unwanted marriage with an old man to relationship with a woman.

And yet,was she truly free in a witch coven or Delilah made her a caged bird? I think that Breanna's feelings are genuine but they became twisted with time.

DH2 (to some degree) makes me feel as she could've had a normal life. She became a curator of conservatory on her own before Delilah started communication with the coup through the void.

And still...she returned to her again once she got an opportunity.

Such an interesting character and there surely something is up with Delilah's arcane bond.

BREANNA!!! BREANNA ASK WOO

tysm you're so kind 😭♥♥ you sent me another ask with a fantastic analysis and i'll publish that as soon as i can work out how to add spoiler warnings but! YES! YOU GET IT!

talking about breanna in canon - yeah i totally agree! yes yes yessss

i think breanna's feelings for delilah are 100% genuine. to put it entirely in metaphor, i can't see her as being a caged bird, i'd describe her as trap-happy instead! though --- she viciously defends her cage from anyone who gets too close. i like that she's dependent on delilah and i would argue she likes it too.

the main thing that bothers me is that in low chaos/canon, breanna, after losing her powers, seems to immediately give up. from memory she says deliiah will have no use for her now.

i know that's meant to reflect more on delilah, and breanna's deep understanding of what drives delilah as well as her acceptance of it (😭), but i can't help but headcanon that she wouldn't give up on delilah so easily. whether its, as you say, a return to some semblance of normal life (aka biding her time), or an obsessive hunt for delilah, i also don't think she'd ever get over it really.

the lengths breanna might have gone to find delilah again, are really interesting to think about!

(from a gameplay perspective i see why they wrote it so that she just gives up - it's a convenient low chaos ending for her to stop being a threat to the protagonist.)

talking about the monster in the hull - generally when i choose the fate of a character in a fic, my primary concern is, what am i trying to say with the piece of writing overall? as opposed to how i feel about the character specifically. i have been accused of being ruthless before when it comes to character deaths, but i don't like making anyone miserable unless there's a reason for it. i'm a softie who, unfortunately, loves themes ™ so sometimes i have to pick whose story i'm exploring, and how am i doing that, and then pare back from there.

though the monster in the hull is a Dishonored 2 rewrite, i wanted this to be primarily about meagan foster, and secondarily, emily's relationship with meagan (with a few other running commentaries/themes as well - namely monsterhood, power, guilt/regret, family).

i wrote it a year ago so my memory's hazy but the main things that made me decide on a lethal approach for breanna, was:

emily at the halfway point in the fic is a loose canon, and even if she has taken a genuine shine to meagan foster she still needs to be a threat

loose canon as distinct from high chaos - her heart is in the right spot but she's still lashing out. and she's still behaving fairly self-centredly - she wants to do the right thing but hasn't gotten her new powers under control.

all emily's attempts to crack meagan's facade... have come to nothing. meagan is keeping her mouth shut. so finding out the hard way that meagan DID have a relationship with emily's greatest enemy - delilah painted her! - and all this time she's said nothing - she's so pissed off she fumbles a mission that technically she could have ghosted through.

and by the time she gets back to the boat, she's eerily calm about it - which is why i went with the canon dialogue.

billie's prior relationship with the witches means she has a high investment in the outcome of this mission. but! she knows she was a coward by choosing to not say anything to emily beforehand!

so to find out that emily has been ruthless, and yet is acting like she's fine, is really to twist the knife of fear. meagan's been wondering this whole time what she's gotten herself into, and she just found out - not even breanna, who was both powerful and meticulous, was able to save herself from emily

but of course... there's still the assassin beneath her meagan mask, so they are both concerningly detached in a way.

not to mention! the implied jealousy <3 as a treat!

oh and from memory! i think later on sokolov was absolutely roasting emily for having killed breanna. you know you've fucked up when sokolov is the voice of reason.

there was a delilah plotline i was considering, but i ended up cutting, in which breanna would have played more of a role, but i realised it was going to blow my word count estimate out of the water. funnily enough every time i draft up something with delilah in it, she takes over really quickly. very on brand!

thank you SO much for the kind words again and thanks for letting me ramble in response here, its really really really nice to see that people are still reading the fics that held me hostage so it's super lovely of you 💓💓💓thank you for making my day!

[love4-bunny]

I attempted to write some terusai in my free time. Can be a one-shot? A fic? Who knows.

Basically a terusai date.

Ever since I switched from being somewhat of an omniscient narrator to a first-person narrator, there's one thing that makes me feel uneasy–not having the ability to read minds when I need it the most. You know, those moments when you wish you could just tap into someone's thoughts and understand what they're thinking? My power would come in handy now. Although I've managed to avoid getting scared every time they approach me, the fact that I can't save myself keeps the world from pairing me with one of the people who cause me the most trouble.

Teruhashi Kokomi.

When it comes to Teruhashi, there's no denying that she's got some serious beauty going on. Now that I can see people as they are, it's hard to look past that flawless exterior, objectively speaking. But let me tell you something, behind that mask of perfection lies a whole different story.

We can't ignore the fact that there's a manipulative and egocentric side to her personality, but let me also mention something positive about Teruhashi. This girl is seriously hardworking and dedicated, you've got to give credit where credit is due. Yeah, There are definitely some not-so-great traits lurking beneath that stunning exterior of hers. But I acknowledge her work ethic and determination to reach the expectations of the other people they put on her, without having to sound like a proud father she has come a long way that I can’t hardly see in her, the old Teruhashi.

Definitely, because I can't read her mind anymore.

I have to say, Kokomi Teruhashi is quite an eye-catching person. She has a certain energy that draws the attention of everyone around her. However, the unwanted attention that comes with her presence can be bothersome. As someone who prefers a more peaceful and uninterrupted life, it can be difficult to handle. To make matters worse, she always seems to end up working with me on school projects, managing to hangout with me and the group, even finding me alone when I try to avoid her.

which only increases the spotlight on us. It's not that I don't like her, but the constant scrutiny can be overwhelming at times.

Getting back to the problem at hand, I can't be in a place where all the men seem to be planning my death, again.

Believe me, I don't want this either. I must insist that I would give them my position without any hesitation?

As I sat across from Teruhashi in the café, my unease mounted. It was evident in my demeanor, and she picked up on it immediately. She kindly suggested that we can go to her house, which was a thoughtful gesture on her part. I was grateful for her offer, as I had grown weary of the envious and hostile stares from my classmates well, people in general. Her kindness was a welcome respite from the tension that had been building up all day.

She reassured me that her brother is working today until late, to avoid any potential complications that may arise from being spotted at Teruhashi's residence with her less-than-reputable brother present, the latter making in his head a whole ass drama on how I am stealing his innocent little sister. Although some may perceive her as innocent, I cannot help but feel a sense of irony in this description, given her exceptional ability to portray a certain facade.

[nightswithkookmin]

When he talks about being the only one that feels so lonely in this way, he is right in that not everyone cares about what others think of them the way he does.

He's too much of a Libra and too emotionally self aware for his own good. He wants to do the right thing and it's hurting him. Can't you see?

You damn right Jungkook doesn't have that problem. why would he? he can't relate cos he Don give a fuck what no body thinks of him.

ZERO FUXKS GIVEN BY THAT MAN.

So I understand why that can feel so lonely even when he's with Jungkook. I can imagine Jungkook scolding him and telling him he should stop caring what others think of him and Suga telling him NEVERMIND whenever he tries to discuss this with the members. Just because they are all men in the same band don't mean they have the same personalities. They have intersecting identities that results in unique struggles.

Hobi might be facing mental health problems associated with being famous that JM could not be suffering from. That don't mean JM doesn't have issues.

Similarly, just because JM talks about these issues don't mean JK doesn't have his own problems.

The tattoos is on their body for a reason you know?

And like Jungkook says, life's too short to be living for others. He even called him out on his life for asking him not to drink and live. If you want JM closely, he's always the one reminding the members hey don't show the alcohol bottle there might be young armys watching, oops naked portrait in the back Lemme zoom and cover it. All these scandals JK has been engulfed in couldn't be him. JM is a multifaceted complex human being. He's not complicated. There's depth to him.

Please go back and read ally analysis on those two it's pretty much what I have been saying about those two from day one that the major issue of conflict between them is JMs propensity to be too careful with everything they do.

For some this might be hard to swallow because they see JM as equally daring and bold which he is but again I keep saying part of that is very performative and easy to play up. A lot of actors get blasted for not being eloquent off cams. Beyonce has a whole persona she calls Sasha which is totally different from who she is off stage.

Personally I like that JM cares so much and is self aware and is soxially and emotionally intelligent but that can hold him back as well if it gets in his way of being happy and being true to himself.

I thought JK was nuts but I understand why he chose not to post for anyone he didn't want to post for on their birthday. I understand why Tae did the same thing. They are all trying to break away from the public facade. Face off. Whatever roles they were assigned, Whatever masks they put on, whatever identities they portrayed to the public, they are finally taking it all off.

Thank you Jimin. Your journey of self growth is truly inspiring and wonderful. You are a wonderful human being. Thank you for Face. Thank you for your uniqueness. Thank you for your presence in this time and in this life. You bless my life with your existence every single day.