#but my main motivation for learning to paint plants has come from a desire to learn about the weeds that grow around here

[mindmeltonabun-blog]

Doom At Your Service: Analysis & Theories for EPs 7-8

Welcome back to another edition of analyses and theories time with me! I’m going to try and keep this post as short and as simple as possible. In case I don’t, I apologize in advance! Also, sorry if this post is filled with grammar mistakes and confusing syntax...I'm writing/editing this late at night and my ADHD meds have lost their effectiveness.

Anyways Eps 7-8 was pretty awesome and I’m glad that a bunch of my previous theories had come true! For those who wonder how I come up with some of these theories, I just look at everything whether it be big or small. I also try to look for connections and patterns. At the same time, I try to understand the motivations of characters and what is the big picture the writer is trying to paint. Once you're able to do all of that then you can predict where the story is going. This is how for the most part I was able to predict the events and endings of shows like TOTNT and TKEM. Anyhow, let’s get down to analyzing and theorizing! Turn on those thinking caps!

What the Rock Balancing Structure Represents

Rock balancing is a form of art that involves a person placing a combination of rocks in an arrangement. To achieve balance of the rocks, one must be very patient and compassionate. In its completion, the structure represents that while things may appear impossible, they are actually possible. So what seems impossible, but can actually be possible? Hmmm probably Myul Mang learning what it means to be human and ending up becoming human. Notice that both the rock art is next to the plant and the story of Pinocchio? It's saying saying that the impossible can be possible. It's possible for Myul Mang to be able to learn what it means to be a human so that the impossible can happen...he can "grow" up to becoming a real human.

The whole rock balancing structure could also signify that in order to grow, one must overcome one's deepest fears. I don't know about you all, but stacking rocks is a scary thing especially since at any moment the whole thing could fall over. Anyways, if you remembered, Myul Mang had been searching everywhere for Dong Kyung and feeling like one of his worst fears (Dong Kyung not existing) had came true. It's only when he goes to Dora's hospital room and sees both the Pinocchio book and rock structure that he got Dora's lesson. And that's why afterwards you didn't see Myul Mang going on another search for Dong Kyung somewhere else.

A brief digression. I’ve seen multiple people theorizing that the plant and the butterfly represent Dong Kyung and Myul Mang respectively. To them I say, did you just completely miss the part where Dora says the plant is Myul Mang? Myul Mang is both the butterfly and the plant. For those who still don’t see that, let me break it down.

First, what do butterflies symbolize? They symbolize metamorphosis, death, and rebirth. Myul Mang is not a literal butterfly, but he will eventually be one in a metaphorical sense. If anything, Myul Mang right now is like a caterpillar on the verge of entering the cocoon stage that is followed by a reemergence as a butterfly aka human. You can also look at it this way, Pinocchio is a butterfly too. Why? Well, look at what happens to Pinocchio. He is reborn as a real boy after having gone through metamorphosis (puppet -> real boy).

Now let’s examine the plant symbolism. What do plants represent in DAYS? They represent humans. What is Dora growing? A human Myul Mang..DUH!! Sorry, but I didn’t think it was that hard of a concept to grasp especially since Dora has already explicitly said what she is growing in that one scene. For Myul Mang to grow up to become a "good" human, he needs to learn to think about others, forgive himself, be compassionate (not only towards himself, but others as well), love others, etc. Other things Myul Mang would probably need to learn is how to love his fate or amor fati (loving your fate means loving it all, not just the good parts, but the bad parts too; loving it so much so that you would never want to change anything about it and would gladly relive your life the way it was over and over again for all of eternity).

I don’t think the "plant" will fully "blossom" until Myul Mang sacrifices himself to save Dong Kyung for the sole reason that he loves her (in contrast to sacrificing himself for his own personal gain). Therefore, that's probably the final lesson -- how to be completely selfless.

Dora just wants her son to grow up to be a "good" plant (human) so she doesn't have to end up pulling him out aka end him before he even becomes human! Okay???

Sorry if what I've just said was confusing. What I meant to say is that Myul Mang's personal growth is reflective in the plant's growth. The more he learns of what it means to be a "good" human, the more the plant will grow until it blossoms into a beautiful flower (a real human).

If we want to connect the idea of personal growth to the story of Pinocchio, we see that Pinocchio's growth occurs only after he experiences pain (physical and emotional) and love. From these experiences, he learns what it means to be a "good" boy and is rewarded by the Fairy transforming him into a real boy.

One Wish or Wishes?

In my previous post, I had briefly touched upon how I think Dong Kyung is going to wish for brain cancer to be cured. Though I still think this, I nevertheless want to explore some of the other possibilities of what her wish could be.

Potential Wishes:

1) Myul Mang to Become Human

2) More Wishes

3) Contract to be Voided

4) No One Remembering Her After She Dies

For #1, Dong Kyung wishes Myul Mang to become human, but then she still dies from her untreated brain cancer…so nope. For #2 and #3, are these wishes even allowed? I would like to point out some flaws of the writer. Maybe it’s not so much a flaw, but an annoyance I have with the writer of DAYS. What one can or cannot wish for is not explicitly stated. Due to this, it is somewhat difficult for me to accurately predict what Dong Kyung will wish for. It’s like trying to detect a substance without being given its upper and lower limits or range of detection (sorry for the science related analogy) ! For #4, I guess this one could be probable, but there is just too much evidence pointing to Myul Mang's death. After exploring each of the possibilities, I'm still left thinking that Dong Kyung's one wish will be to cure her cancer.

Anyways, even if Dong Kyung wishes for her brain cancer to be cured, it’s not really a happy ending since Myul Mang still dies. Is there any other way for Dong Kyung to make another wish so that she can save Myul Mang? I think there is and it comes in the form of the “gift” that Dora gave Dong Kyung. In my previous post, I had theorized that the marble may have a larger purpose than just being a symbol of how the fate of the world is Dong Kyung hands. I believe now that the marble’s larger purpose is that it is a type of wish fulfilling stone. Why? Because we know fantasy dramas typically make references to mythology. In this case, the writer of DAYS is probably referencing Hindu mythology.

In Hindu mythology there are 3 main gods:

1) Brahma: The Creator

2) Vishnu: The Preserver

3) Shiva: The Destroyer (Sounds like Myul Mang right? Also, the love story between Shiva and Parvati is somewhat similar to that of Myul Mang and Dong Kyung’s love story.)

Dora is the equivalent to the god Vishnu in Hindu mythology. Vishnu is often depicted wearing a “Cintamani”, a type of wish fulling stone analogous to the Philosopher’s Stone (hint hint…transforms something from one form into another…immortal -> human) in Western mythology. Given this, the marble/Cintamani in Dong Kyung's possession could be the key to Myul Mang’s rebirth.

Some might ask, “Well why can’t Dora just use it to wish for her son to be reborn as a human?”. Well, remember that both Dora and Myul Mang are slaves to the wishes of humans. They themselves cannot fulfil their own wishes or desires. Meaning, even though Dora and Myul Mang can wish for something to happen, they cannot carry it out unless humans wish it too. Also, as I mentioned previously, deities in kdramas never just give humans gift because they’re being nice. Rather, they give gifts to humans so that humans can help them accomplish their overall goals/wishes.

So putting it all together, do you see where I’m going with this? Dora has the same wish as Dong Kyung which is for Myul Mang to live, but Dora is unable to execute her goals/wishes unless Dong Kyung wishes it too. Dora knows that Dong Kyung will probably use her one wish to cure her brain cancer. At the same time, this leaves her son, Myul Mang, to die. Therefore, Dora gives Dong Kyung the wish fulfilling marble with the intention that Dong Kyung will use it to wish for her son, Myul Mang, to be reborn as a human. With Dora/Dong Kyung’s wish, Myul Mang will be free from his cursed life as an immortal and be reborn to be able to live happily with Dong Kyung.

Side note, the rebirth of Myul Mang into a human can either be dependent on Myul Mang's personal growth or it can be dependent on this wish fulfilling stone or both! I'm leaning more towards his personal growth as being the catalyst for his rebirth, but who knows! It very well could be that the marble has a role to play in his rebirth.

Is Dong Kyung Going To Be An Immortal?

No…no…and NO!!

Some might ask why don’t I think this? Well, for a bunch of reasons. I’ll admit I used to think that it would be very romantic for a human to become immortal so that they can be with their immortal lover forever. However, the more I thought about it, I came to the realization the notion of forever is not romantic nor beautiful. At its core, the concept of eternity is quite terrifying and ugly. And if you haven’t realized already, the writer of DAYS has been making multiple arguments against immortality. For anything to have meaning, it must have an end. In this sense, the end is beautiful.

To get my point across, I want you to try and think about some things. What keeps life meaningful? Experiences? People? Well, imagine doing something you love for a year. Now imagine doing it for trillions or zillions of years. Experiences no matter how good they are at first will eventually become tedious if you do it for long enough. For example, eating your favorite dish may be good for a while, but not for zillions of years. At one point or another, you ultimately lose your desire to want to eat it or eat entirely for that matter.

Now surely getting to know people and loving them can keep your life meaningful right? Well, how many times do you think you could handle knowing and loving people who eventually disappear? Eventually, you grow tired of crying and mourning over dead loved ones that you become numb. Now imagine being Dong Kyung. She would have to witness her family, their family, and so forth dying over and over again for all of eternity. Doesn’t that seem tortuous? Sure, one could argue that at least she has Myul Mang with her, but do you really think her love for him could sustain her forever? The relationship between Myul Mang and his mother, Dora, is a prime example of how a loving relationship could turn sour over a great deal of time. The gift of immorality Dora bestowed on Myul Mang became a curse instead of a blessing. So why would Myul Mang want to give Dong Kyung something that was basically a curse for him? As for Dora, she probably wouldn’t want to give Dong Kyung the same gift after seeing what it did to her son.

If you continue to think that Dong Kyung will become an immortal being, did you really smell what the writer of DAYS was cooking or did you just smell what you were cooking?

The Bad Case of the Riddles

From what I have been reading on multiple platforms now, it would seem that a lot of people are rather confused about a lot of things. It’s understandable! Throughout the show, the writer has presented some complex philosophical concepts that may be difficult for some viewers to grasp. To further add to the confusion, the characters at times do speak in what appears to be riddles. This I believe may be one of the major flaws of the writer. She has to consider that her audience are probably people who have never read any philosophical works before. Most viewers aren’t here to decipher cryptic messages or see how they’re connected to some major philosophical concepts such as eternal recurrence, existentialism, nihilism, amor fati, etc. Most are here to shut off their tired brain and enjoy some good fantasy romance! I know I’m totally one of those people!

Needless to say, I did find myself in a debate of whether I should discuss some philosophical concepts referenced in the show as to help you all gain a better sense of understanding. However, I concluded that it would take too much of my time to do so. Additionally, despite my best efforts to use the simplest of words, I found that whatever I had already written may have still been confusing to the everyday reader. Anyways, if there are any particular scenes or dialogue you all want to me go over, please feel free to use the ask button and I’ll do my best to try and answer them!

Whats Going to Happen Next?

Probably more filler type stuff aka more bs. It's common in kdramas for characters to go back and forth on their initial decision of whatever. Dong Kyung is going to break up with Myul Mang because she loves him and doesn't want him to die. And before the breakup, she's going to give him some good memories to remember her by. Following this, she's going to try and love herself so that she's the one that ends up dying and her wish is going to be for everyone to forget her? Okay......Zzzzzzz!! Idk... Dora is probably going to intervene somehow to get Dong Kyung and Myul Mang back together again.

Other Random Thoughts

What I think would be interesting to learn about is the connection between Dong Kyung's parents death and Dora past self's death. It wasn't just all a coincidence that they both died on the same day. Who knows... maybe Dong Kyung was meant to be in the car that day with her parents, but Dora's past self sacrificed herself to change Dong Kyung's fate.

Also, I still don't think Dong Kyung is going to die, I mean you got her brother praying to the deities that she lives!

Okay, I'm done. I wrote this in Microsoft Word and it was 5 pages long. My brain is dead. There's probably something I should've gone over or elaborated more about, but oh well. Thanks for reading this disjointed post!

[killingeveperspectives]

Perspective: Did Villanelle’s character arc in Season 3 get lost in translation?

Killing Eve Season 3 became something of my object of fascination by the odd disjointed experience I have watching it. It feels like it makes sense at first, but the whole lot is rather off. The more I revisit it, the more it appears that what we see on the surface is but an attempt at telling a very different story. But precisely by failing to convey their intended story (Or not committing to), the authors inadvertently created a slate with enough inconsistencies that it fits any rationalization the audience wants to impose on the final product. Its lack of clarity and internal logic made it adaptable to several points of view. I can impose the interpretation that Villanelle was given an irreconcilable redemption arc, or that she is still a psychopath and it will still somewhat work.

However, when the season is consumed stripped from our expectations, there is a dissonance between the narrative and the other elements of storytelling which sends mixed signals, especially in the most developed storyline in the season: Villanelle’s character arc. In the midst of this confusion and inability to get a hold of the character, I tried to grasp the intent of the author instead of the material itself. Upon reading interviews with Suzanne Heathcote, Sally Woodward and Jodie Comer, many of my initial interpretations of her arc were challenged. They seemed to never seek to rectify Villanelle’s psychopathy or nature, but to explore her deep need to belong. There seemed to be an awareness towards the truth of the character, and the journeys they have been on so far. It appears that their idea is that her impulses are her true self and the tension arises from the inescapability of her own nature and its exploitation, which becomes the sole designator of her worth as a being. This is indeed much more interesting than what I initially interpreted. So, I want to revisit Villanelle’s character arc with new eyes... in more detail... and see if I can find something new.

Villanelle’s initial motivations set-up a “ Self-affirmation” arc, not a Redemption arc 

Initially, the show seems to set two main motivations for Villanelle: a search for autonomy and a search for belonging, which will prompt her desire to become a keeper and find her family. Objectively, her motivations set up a journey for authentic self-identity. 

The opening wedding sequence is a good way of introducing her search for autonomy. Six months after Rome, Villanelle is gold digging her way through life, still very psychopathic of her. This is the first time we see Villanelle exist without a parental figure and without the tight control of ‘The 12’, and it turns out she is doing just fine. Where her wedding represents her agency and autonomy, being dragged into ‘The 12’ by Dasha has her sitting in the back of the car like a moody toddler. Her relationship with ‘The 12’ is infantilizing, controlling and coercive. It does plant the seeds for her struggle by visual storytelling, which I dismissed for a silly comedic effect.

Villanelle seems more aware of the power plays behind her bargain to come back, contrasting with her previous aloofness. This time, she seems keen on cutting her own part of the deal which is to become a Keeper (which oddly never involves getting the names of ‘The 12’). Her request is so absurd, and their agreement to make her a keeper so obviously fake, that it shows how Villanelle is truly unaware of the magnitude of what she is dealing with and how little leverage she actually has. But her effort to carve some degree of freedom and agency within her world is an authentic motivation. Her overall disinterest for the job also helps to solidify the idea that she is dreading being controlled, and only agrees to perform the kills as part of her promotion process. Which should not be confused – although it easily is – with a lack of enjoyment in Killing. In fact, Villanelle thoroughly enjoys herself in the kills she performs before Episode 5, be it improving on a relic, stealing a baby, or scaring hiccups away. Villanelle isn’t opposed to killing, she is tired of being ordered to kill. As welcomed as this development is, in many moments her motivations could be mistaken by childlike Villanelle just being capricious.

Parallel to her self-affirmation comes a search for a sense of belonging. This is a deep foundational motivation for the character that had always been in the subtext of the show. There is a fascination towards family and normal life in Villanelle, that she tries to recreate with those she “loves”. Arguably not even the character can articulate this urge, so when Season 3 sets to explore it, it feels forced. Villanelle seems intrigued by the gratuitous affection the baby elicits in people, including those that don’t own it, leading her to kidnap the baby as an experiment, then literally toss it away. It did not elicit in her the gratuitous affection it elicits in everyone around her. She is a psychopath. When the baby is reunited with their father, she is once again puzzled at the happiness in the dad’s face. The baby belonged to him. Did she ever belong to someone? This question will lead her to seeking her own family, taking her to Russia. 

Being so far removed from the events of season 2 and considering that Konstantin and Villanelle’s scene was completely overshadowed by the subsequent events, I found it hard to add weight to this motivation. A large part of the audience is understandably eager to learn about Villanelle’s past, however there wasn’t enough development to justify why the character wanted to learn about her past. Instead, she enunciates her newfound fascination with babies, without elements or events to convincingly move the character in this direction.

Villanelle’s journey home: nuanced and conflicted story telling got lost in translation

I have broken down how I believe this episode not only retcons her background, but soft retcons Villanelle’s psychopathy and her entire character – and I still believe in practical terms it inevitably does - but it’s a shame, because the episode in itself doesn’t. It’s all about perception and expectation tainting interpretation. The writer’s original idea was to have the audience go on a journey with Villanelle to this disconnected corner of the world, as she is surprisingly charmed by the oddity of what she finds. It was the perfect escapism from her claustrophobic world of ‘The 12’. We wrestle with the nature x nurture question as Villanelle wrestles with it herself, we feel at home, we connect with the family and feel rejected and deceived as Villanelle does herself. This episode was written from Villanelle’s perspective alone, she is the voice telling the story, we are literally asked to see it from her eyes:

But there is a catch: Villanelle is an unreliable narrator. The writer did plant elements that challenge Villanelle’s narrative, mainly as glimpses of other characters perspectives: Bor’ka has a normal loving drawing of his mother on the fridge; Pyotr likes his mother alright and challenge’s Villanelle’s perception of their mother meanness, by stating Villanelle herself used to be mean to him, implying a connection between the two; the husband reveals that Tatiana still cries every night because of the whole thing. All of which becomes the core problem with this episode: Villanelle is an unreliable narrator but we don’t perceive her as such because of our emotional investment in the character. Who is to say Villanelle’s tendencies and behaviour didn’t genuinely scare and tear the family apart and without knowing what to do after her husband died, Tatianna abandoned Oksana in the orphanage, despite genuinely suffering from the decision? Tatianna is a very flawed mother and Oksana is a very troubled child, both these realities are valid and interconnected, in the most nuanced, emotionally challenging and complex episode of the entire show. 

Underneath Villanelle’s standpoint, Suzanne Heathcote managed to hide a sensible and honest perception of that family’s complicated past: the heartbreaking reality is that deep down, despite all the layers of pain, trouble, blame, shame and guilt, both characters wished it was different and they could somehow connect, but the truth is that they were, and still are, unable to. Thus, both characters were speaking their truths, however we are not afforded a chance to truly see her mother’s perspective because we are stuck in Villanelle’s world and Villanelle has empathy for no one (Except for her little brother but I don’t want to beat on this dead horse). Despite her manipulative and violent behavior towards her family, from where Villanelle stands - and within her own perspective rightfully so - her mother was simply neglectful, abusive, and worse: saw her as something alien. Thus, having her mother admit her own “darkness” was so important: This darkness I carry belongs to you, therefore I belong to you. Ingenious. Upon revisiting this episode, I truly appreciate it as a showcase of the potential of Suzanne Heathcote’s writting, with beautifully crafted storytelling that seems straightforward at the surface but invites us to dive deeper. Unfortunately, this gem is lost in translation.

The episode was all about how Villanelle made sense of herself and her past, not about what really happened, as the writers claimed they didn’t want to excuse Villanelle’s actions nor erase her psychopathy. It wasn’t about the authoritative writers explaining Villanelle’s past to the audience and deliberately painting Villanelle as a child tortured into becoming a monster because of her upbringing… the problem is that it feels like it was. And when later you add Dasha’s abuse to the mix, the retcon of her psychopathy is irresistible to the audience, but the creators are not naïve and especially as the word “psychopath” seem to have vanished from their vocabulary, when previously it was the selling point of the show; something doesn’t add up. Killing her mother marks a turning point in Villanelle’s character arc, and here things start to get complicated...

Killing her mother sets Villanelle in an identity crisis but what is it exactly?

When Villanelle gets rejected, she kills her mother and sets the house on fire mirroring the orphanage arson. In the train scene, we see Villanelle wearing her mother’s clothes and listening to crocodile rock while crying, smiling, jamming, reminiscing. Despite her efforts to wrap herself in the elements that symbolize the moments she felt like she belonged with that family, she is still alone and there is a lot of pain – fair, psychopaths are not painless. But what that scene represents for Villanelle is an enigma, and I believe not Jodie Comer, nor Suzanne Heathcote, nor anyone, actually knows what this scene is really supposed to mean emotionally for Villanelle.

I want to contrast this scene with another scene in a movie where we watch an actress cycling through many emotions in a long shot as she listens to music: the final 2:30 minute long take in Portrait of a Lady on fire. The scenes parallel each other, and kudos to the unafraid acting of Jodie Comer and Adele Haenel. However, there is a key difference between the two: Celinne Sciamma (screenwriter and director) knew exactly what she was looking for and walked the lead actress Adele Haenel through all the emotions she would be evoking, their succession order and meaning. All the emotions conjured in the scene were carefully crafted in the audience throughout the entire movie, generating a deep connection and understanding of the characters, the story and its symbols, that culminates in an apotheotic cathartic release. That scene was not just a beautiful, emotionally loaded scene: it had intent, it had a clear meaning. And from there on is where Villanelle’s emotional scenes start to break apart.

The display of a person suffering through emotional pain will obviously evoke feelings of compassion, care and empathy in the audience, but this level of immediate reactive connection does not equal an understanding of characters’ emotional reality. It’s important that audiences not only know that the character is in pain but what that pain means, even more so when you are exploring the boundaries of emotion in a character that has a fundamentally different subjective experience than the audience. Given the lack of build up and more extensive exploration of the mother and daughter relationship, it’s not only harder to add the appropriate emotional weight as it is to understand it’s ramifications. Thus, despite lots of tears, Villanelle remains an emotional black box after coming back from Russia. 

On the other hand, there is this interesting motif with Villanelle that death brings freedom: once a person is dead, they cease to have a hold on her, allowing her to reinvent herself. For example, when Eve hurt her in the season 2 finale, she kills her to break free from her hold. In her own words: “I’m so much better now my ex is dead”. This motif is again brought up in her conversation with Bertha Kruger in episode 04. As Villanelle tries to reinvent herself after killing her mother and whatever that meant, she learns she was being tricked by ‘The 12’ and that her promotion was a farce, bringing her full circle. She went through these journeys and still didn’t break free: she was still controlled and still rejected, thus her only solution was escape literally and metaphorically. 

Her mother rejected her because of her violence, which is precisely the only worth ‘The 12’ see in her. Both of her Nemesis reduce her to the same image: she is a violent kid that kills. Thus, her shifting relationship with killing becomes more interesting when it is framed as a desire for self-affirmation and not as a rectification of her nature as the result of a new found moral compass and compassion, which places Villanelle in the same territory as traditional female assassin characters before her. She is reclaiming her identity, from her past and from her subjugators, hence the motivation to not kill could be seen as a deliberate act of rebellion. However, it is unclear how concrete this motivation is, given that she does indeed keep murdering, and how it interplays with the emotional changes we are shown the character is going through, altogether making her distancing from killing narratively elusive.

Character development couldn’t commit to a narrative, going from nuanced to disorienting

Part of the charm in Killing Eve is what is left unsaid and implied, but nevertheless registers, connects. This relies on the smart use of character expositions and film language to efficiently get the audience on board with the character’s world organically. All previous season’s made good use of monologues and dialogue to flesh out the world and specially characters. In Season 1, Villanelle was explored and developed through excellent dialogues, and in Season 2, when exploring her intimate inner reality, the writers opted to use the AA meetings for a direct exposition via a monologue that tied together previous visual and narrative set up elements. 

This type of efficient character exploration doesn’t lend itself well to the nuanced layered exploration the writers set out to do in season 3. And still, they stubbornly committed to it, withholding characters from fleshing out information through dialogue, while overplaying ‘show don’t tell’ trying to convey character’s inner realities with fragmented elements scattered over a disjointed plot, thus relying heavily on the actors to create a semblance of coherence out of the cacophony. I truly believe this choice was extremely detrimental to the season, since it created unnecessary challenges for the main goal which was character exploration. The result is an unsettling gap between the writers’ vision of the characters and their arcs, and what we, the audience, experience. 

I want to take a moment to explore examples of storytelling choices that I found confusing in developing Villanelle past episode 05, by taking a look on her 3 murders after she comes back from Russia.

In the Romania kill, we see Villanelle sitting on the bed halfhearted, downgraded into taking this job after her promotion debacle. The title card links us back to the scene in the beginning of the episode when she realizes she was conned. This is bullshit, this job is bullshit, and yet she has to do it. All elements are underlying the conflict in her search for autonomy, but then the song in the background evokes sentimentalism, underlying Villanelle’s growing feelings, subtly implying she feels bad about the act of killing. The scene composition sends mixed signals. Then it cuts to Villanelle ready for the kill with the upbeat recap intro music playing (????), she can’t focus, gets stabbed and cut to an angry tear-eyed Villanelle stitching up her own wound in the bathroom floor, fleshing out how she felt used and that she wants out. Then for a moment, the scene gets more intimate and she says - or even confesses? - she doesn’t want to do it anymore. We look down to a defeated and vulnerable Villanelle underlying the characters impotency or is it a moral struggle? The entire sequence purposely avoids committing to whether she failed because she didn’t want kill, or because she couldn’t kill. These two conflicts have completely different implications in interpreting and understanding the character development, but we remain in the limbo, confused as to what it could be.

To make matters worse, both these motivations: quitting ‘The 12’ and stopping killing, will be flipped when Villanelle pro-actively asks for a job and decidedly kills Dasha (who survived out of plot contrivances luck ). The scene with Helene is also interesting. When Villanelle meets Helene there is a conflict around identity and belonging. A particularly childlike Villanelle is again falling into tears as Helene breaks into her personal space with an embrace. Villanelle gives in to the embrace then pulls away at the mention of the word monster. That is not the identity Villanelle wants, nevertheless it feels good to be accepted. Then Villanelle asks an exasperated Helene for another job, not before being reminded she is a child, again powerless.  

“Look what you made me do” playing in the background.The song alludes to the power domination she is under and her motivation to break free, but the entire scene alludes to her conflict over her self-perception and belonging with Helene as a mother figure. I’m nor sure I follow what the character wants, I’m hanging on a spiderweb on the wall, Villanelle is crying, and can we please stop torturing this character into feelings for five minutes? Who is this reformed character? Jokes aside, there is one message that emerges, which is Villanelle doesn’t want to be a “monster” (violent killer, or more subtly violent in general) but she is forced to do it. This scene does succeed in softening Villanelle by emphasizing this new narrative leap following her seeming new found conscience: that Villanelle was made into a violent woman, but she is not naturally one. Her brutality is not transgressively hers anymore, it is a burden imposed onto her, which again places Villanelle’s character back into the comfort of the place designated to violent female characters: sad broken woman went murderous. Which stands in sharp contrast with Villanelle characterization so far, and what made her character iconic in it’s own right. The only way to make this narrative work is assuming killing her mother erased her psychopathy and gave her the whole bag of feelings and empathy. But if episode 05 fails to sell that, then the following episodes feels like tumbling down a rocky narrative slope. But the seed still lingers on my mind after reading paratext from the creators and cast: if you’re not trying to retcon Villanelle, then what does this all mean?

Rhian’s murder is a pivotal moment in Villanelle’s arc that fell into obscurity by jarring storytelling. Here the narrative seems to finally address the elephant in the room: when push comes to shove, can she control her violent impulses, which, no matter if inherited or cultivated, became a core part of herself? The ballroom tea dance effectively distances Villanelle from killing, but Villanelle and Rhian’s exchange show things aren’t so simple. More overtly so, Rhian and Villanelle subway brawl is all about giving Villanelle a chance to fully articulate the conflict around her subjugation to ‘The 12’ and her self-agency. Villanelle beats up Rhian, which could symbolically represent her refusal to be an obeying “sheep”; but, despite trying to get a grip of herself, her nature takes over and she kills, which could represent the uncontrollability of her impulse.  Thus, the interaction between these two scenes, ballroom dance and Rhian’s kill create a conflict surrounding Villanelle’s nature, self-control and capability to change that goes beyond the central conflict of each scene alone. Interesting, better explore it late than never, right?

The next scene seems to give us the resolution of this conflict, as Villanelle exits the subway, marching forwards, defiantly looking at us while we hear “Nothing matters if you bury it deep” in the background. It sends a message that Villanelle ultimately embraced her nature, and perhaps herself, and by doing so symbolically broke free from the oppression, emerging victorious. One could say she found her mojo back by killing on her terms. However, this never has any effects on the character, Villanelle is still as conflicted about her self-identity and still expresses her desire stop killing when we meet her again in the final scene as if her march after killing Rhian never happened. so what was the writers trying to say with the Ryan’s kill sequence when, despite disconnecting and contradicting the previous and following scenes with Eve, it seems to have no effect on Villanelle herself? What narrative are the writers committing to?

Villanelle’s character arc: the faithful translation of a uncommitted vision

Villanelle’s character arc, not that it is her privilege, gets muddled by deliberate ambiguity, character isolation, confusing motivations, and overall disconnected narrative as the writers refuse to commit to a vision. Thus, set-ups, pay-offs, conflicts and cause-effect are muddled, devoiding the character development of tangible meaning or aim – nuanced or otherwise. Despite it all sort of working moment-to-moment, it’s hard to keep up with what is being established overall, the ever shifting and clashing elements making it impossible to crack these characters and their journeys. In threading the fine line between the said and the unsaid, Season 3 had its characters bottling up so much that we are alienated from them. Simply saying “something changed inside her, and she is facing lots of things” doesn’t mean anything. Having the character state that she doesn’t want to kill (be it in general or for ‘The 12′) only to have have your character still actively killing both for ‘The 12′ and for personal reasons and ignoring the conflict it creates, shows the character’s motivations don’t mean anything. Villanelle was in search for an authentic self-identity but in the end who is she? What was this journey all about? Honestly, fixing Villanelle to allow a romance no one really knows. 

So my overall impression is that Villanelle’s character wasn’t lost in translation because there wasn’t any coherent vision behind it, but a succession of floating undecided moods and motivations tied together by powerful performances that leaves you feeling like Villanelle was redeemed. Thus, the audience  - and arguably the cast and creators - are left relentlessly rationalizing Villanelle so the character doesn’t fall apart. Some see Villanelle truly in love, some see her as obsessing, some see her as emotionless, some see her as a pastiche, some see her as blossoming into her true self, some see her as two different characters (Oksana/Villanelle), some just think she cries a lot, some think she is remorseful, some think she isn’t, some believe she is a psychopath, some think she matured, some think she was never a psychopath and some think she is outright cured. No one fully grasped what is happening with Villanelle, not because her character is complex beyond comprehension but because her character remained conveniently inaccessible. Ultimately, Villanelle’s character growth is a mystery the show teased at but did not commit to crack. 

[repeterwiggin]

i decided to make notes as I watched POF (SVSR) for the second time and damn. it’s just as much of a rollercoaster even when you know what’s coming (warning this is long there’s a lot going on)

- wild to me how we jump straight in!

- lee & mary lee are adorable & also thomas at the wedding is a Mood literally me at all my friends weddings

- the flashback breaks my heart,

- Patton is still a really good trier... he’s so good and he tries so hard and I love him

- the way thomas rips off his suit jacket...

- the song that isn’t sung!

- Patton says “we four helped you” but there were five sides in svs hmm I feel like that’s probably significant in some way

- the ace attorney ref makes me very happy! there was a secret path of me hoping for for a professor layton reference but this is ehhhh kinda close?

- the fact that the first thing they say is “why didn’t we talk to lee and mary lee” like. yeah!!

- WE SHOULD START LOOKING I TO WAYS TO PREDICT THE FUTURE! he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit

- patton and roman bffs!!

- feral cats,,, what a tangent i stan roman

- I like that we get some more context to the invite as well, like being asked face to face does add another element to the dilemma

- Dame Judy Dench = Queen Groovy Bench I see you using those Good Place swears, Roman

- “maybe they ... feel guilty” is like. I get where you’re coming from Patton but talking to them should’ve been step one imo like. I have been to lots of friends weddings and talking to them is important

- “I’m not sure there was a good ending to get” ... “for he’s a jolly good fellow!”

- them calling Patton out for how critical he’s been!!! very important!!! and I appreciate that Patton is trying “I’m just trying to help you be a good as you can be!” he still has more to learn but still im love him

- the bagel callback lol

- GameStore instead of GameStop lol Patton

- FROGGER

- “he eats fly for breakfast”

- We’re ten minutes in and there’s already so much going on

- Also I just want to appreciate that thomas is such a good actor I can tell which side is speaking just from their voice like the cadence is different and they way they say words ahhh it’s something I’ve thought about before but it’s really hitting me with these voice over segments

- Leslie Odom Jr lol if only we’d known

- The Pokemon battle format is so good and I love that it’s being used for a “do you give money to a homeless actor”

- The hotdog puns....

- Logan’s Lowdown!!!

- Roman mouthing “behoove” to Patton is very cute but I feel bad for Logan :(

- Pixel Logan is adorable

- The fact that roman immediately goes “ignorant” breaks my heart listen to logan!!! please!!!!

- Patton trying to soften his thoughts is kind of painful to watch

- “As long as that’s not the main reason you’re doing it!” Patton no,,,,,,,,

- Roman needs to be listened to more he looks so defeated when Patton doesn’t agree with him and only continues after serious prompting I feel like he’s been ignored too many times lately I’m very excited for a roman arc :((

- “Leslie Odom Jr’s....literal cake that he baked!!!”

- Logan’s fun fact popping up in the mario scene!! that’s my boy!!!

- Also the fact that roman is immediately painting deceit as the bad guy after they spent all of svs getting along......like, I feel like after the other sides decided that deceit wasn’t at all genuine or looking out for thomas’ best interests roman did a full 180* on him which makes sense for romans character but is also kinda depressing bc in is lying okay? and svs he was like “oh he’s not that bad!!” And now he’s like “scute bellied tyrant!!” damn

- Patton let’s him talk and then immediately is like “uuuuh no” yikes

- Roman targets all his insults at deceit and very carefully avoids being even playfully rude to anyone else hmm I really do think he’s trying to “make up” for siding with deceit last time and in the end it doesn’t even matter :((( bc he still feels like he’s disappointing people

- Roman seems like he’s genuinely trying to understand and Patton is really struggling to articulate his thoughts and that creates such a good conflict between the two bc it’s not like theyre really against each other it’s just solid interpersonal difference. or intrapersonal I guess

- The trolley problem!!!! A classic I love it

- The way it’s animated too is so good... the “Thomas is full of dread” the way the music cuts when the train appears how it cuts right before the train hits “is it over” ahhhhhh

- Also Leslie Odom Jr again lol

- “Maybe don’t depict scenarios where my friends die” and then later Patton is specifically like “it’s lee and mary lee!!!” lol wild

- “You know we don’t like to use the T word!!!” GREAT little aside

- “So it’s the how that matters” “yeah... and the why!!!” patton baby you’re trying so hard and I love you but it’s okay. you don’t need to have all the answers. you can just not know! I promise it’s alright!

- Thomas face after Patton brings up the “figment of your imagination” things KILLS ME

- I actually disagree with Thomas on the “putting more good into the world” as not being a compelling answer BUT I think that Patton is overlooking how feeling good/having positive emotions attached with those actions IS directly putting more good into the world. like, if doing good makes you feel good, that’s a good thing!! idk

- Logan disagreeing with Patton was good and we all know logan is my favourite but I think he could’ve handled that a little better

- PATTON HITTING SKIP ALL..... sweetie no :((

- everyone has already said this but that cane is the snake boy

- Roman even pulls back the insults on a philosopher who is not there

- Also Roman being like “your desires are getting in the way” again bc he feels like he’s not being listened to or appreciated bc there’s something about him that’s “wrong” and trying to shoulder the blame bc he feels bad that his desires (success, fame, love, appreciation) are inherently selfish :(((

- “that is the stupidest thing you’ve ever said” right sentiment, terrible delivery

- the way roman says “you’re just blowing smoke” is a Lot and very much like his fishing for validation but I don’t blame him for it, after what he’s just admitted it’s truly understandable that he needs that validation

- Thomas’ point about feelings motivating him is REALLY good bc we are all motivated by our emotions

- “Doing nothing is even worse!” i mean you’re not wrong but not in the way you think,,

- Logan/Deceit (I do think it’s deceit at this point) using the oxygen mask metaphor is really great to me!!! I love that metaphor & I was going to be a flight attendant so it’s something I thought about a lot. I’ll talk about it more when Deceit brings it up again lol

- “Uuuh I do need help” mood thomas mood

- “Temporarily put himself first” oof

- “It’s easy to say what we would hypothetically do...” hard agree

- Watching logan/deceit huff and roll his eyes solidifies for me that it is deceit like something about it feels unlike Logan lol I can’t explain why

- Roman nodding along with the explanation of why leisure is important makes me very happy

- “Oh is it not? Please correct me if I’m wrong” and the way the sprite pressing further and further and being more expressive with his hands and eyebrows like damn. that’s deceit!!

- Patton’s breakdown is Iconic I love the glitching and the way it zooms out to show the layout of the living room and the way he explodes ahhhhhhh so good

- why does the frog have abs that’s my one question

- lilypadton ahdhajfka I love it

- DECEIT EX MACINA THE REVEAL IS SO GOOD as soon as he started punning (cut through this bull...frog) I was like 👀 AND THEN THE LINES AND THE CAPE AND THE LORD OF THE LIES IM HAPOY TO OBLIGE

- “CODE YELLOW”

- the deceit sprite is so cute :))))

- Deceit pulling Thomas behind him we have to stan

- “Richer than Jeff Bozos” I LOVE that roman I love you

- Deceit calling him out and the way the words themselves turn into attacks is such a fun detail

- Frog Patton still punning even in serious moments is so on brand

- Deceit dodging while thomas gets hit is a solid metaphor

- “The plane is going down, you need to give thomas some room to breathe” oof like it needed to be said but oof

- The health bars changing to “Thomas’ mental health” OOF LADS WE’RE REALLY IN IT NOW

- the way thomas looks when he steps back into frame cracks me up

- “We can still beat him! We’ve beaten him before!” oh roman, but it’s not a fight against deceit :((

- the snakes on the plane ref lmao “I’m sick of this morality fighting snake on this metaphorical plane” whoever wrote that line... I want to give them a high five truly iconic

- Deceit is so much more playful and showing more diverse personality in this ep and I’m living for it

- final fantasy!! the og version turn by turn which is what I like to play lol also the villain they’re fighting kinda looks like Virgil and idk how to feel about that

- Deceit looking away as soon as logan pops up lmaoooooo

- “Not that any of you care...” logan baby no!!!!! I care!!!!

- Effective Altruism explanation and Logan making a point to go “it employs the heart and the mind” like ... reminding Patton that they need to work together and they’re on the same side I’m soft

- Deceit and Logan agreeing warms my heart they’re both so good and ahhhh

- “Emphasis on the ‘sometimes’ though, right?” “Yeah sure whatever — I mean yes! Of course!”

- I also love how deceit addresses thomas directly they don’t do that a lot but it makes sense cause deceit is really trying to persevere thomas’ self

- Him calling roman noble and roman not believing it :((( deceit trying to be honest and ahhhhh I’m so sad

- “Selflessness isn’t always the answer” which was exactly what svs was supposed to be about

- “What do you almost all things?” “Oh you’re right we wouldn’t want to plant too many trees, imagine how much CO2 might absorbed”

- lmao why am I so impressed by Roman’s deceit impression when they’re literally the same person

- roman flipping out and attacking deceit is a Big Yikes but it’s totally in character bc roman has always been black and white even more so than Patton and it’s been building to an arc for a loooong time so I’m very excited

- Deceit taking off his glove.... saying his name......... I can’t process this

- JANUS!!!!!!!!!! It’s so good it’s perfect I love it I love him

- roman immediately laughing yikesssss

- “Oh roman thank god you don’t have a moustache otherwise between you and remus I wouldn’t know who the evil twin is” YIKESSS but also valid deceit is at a breaking point

- “I thought I was your hero” “you are!”

- I’m going to be thinking about deceit’s—JANUS’S—nod for a long time....was he agreeing with Thomas or was he saying that Thomas was lying ahhhhhhh

- “Everything’s going to be okay. We love you.” “...right” AH MY HEART

- I want to give roman a hug

- Patton asking Janus for advice like right away and Janus not being great at first but coming around quickly with the ever true “it depends” like I love the two of them together the DYNAMIC POTENTIAL

- Janus does seem fond of Patton which is cute I can’t wait for everyone to be friends again lol

- ACTUAL LESLIE ODOM JR I CANNOT

- how did they make that happen,,,, how wild

- the clapping

- “This sanders sides not odom sides,, I’m not threatened at all” that is, somehow, a mood

- “don’t kill, don’t steal, easy conclusions to come to” “even those can get iffy” “I don’t want to think about that... but maybe that proves my point!” you what we call that? growth

- “Giving too simple answers to complicated questions can do more harm than good” “mmhmm”

- “So I’m sorry! Again!” Poor boy is trying to hard and I love him :((( so much <3333

- “Oh yeah that’s cool, talk about me like I’m not here” I love you Janus!!!”

- “I’ll take care of him” and then immediately joking around and trying to make thomas laugh is very cute thomas needed something lighthearted after all of that ahhh

- “You’re not stuck with an EVIL snake boy...you’re just stuck with a snake boy!!” I LOVE YOU JANUS what an adorable nerd I would die for him

- and how excited he gets about being called right he deserves it

- “I love how much you like these constant dilemmas so please keep overthinking things” you know what I needed to hear that man

- “You can’t get doing good down to a science” WORD

- the message of treating yourself well & finding the right balance between that and doing good for others being a personal thing is very good and much needed

- Lee and Mary Lee are onscreen for like 3 minutes and I love them so much

- “So this is what you do for a living? Comedy?” “Yeah I’m a hack”

- Patton and Janus chilling on the same screen... I adore them

- “Seems like things worked out after all... I was wrong about everything!” “You and I both know that’s not true” and Patton’s soft little smile I love them!!!!

- “Odom sides would cool!” like actual Leslie Odom Jr said that.... I’m shook

- okay that’s the end it’s just as much a rollercoaster the second time around no I am not okay, thank you for your time

[mrdantastic808]

Marvel’s Spider Man: Duality in Responsibility

Spoilers ahead.

A while ago, I posted my overall thoughts on the PS4 game, Marvel’s Spider Man.  Now, I’d like to dive deeper into some of the themes of the game.  There are a number I could choose from, but for now, let’s focus on the theme of duality.

Duality is a classic trope of superhero stories.  On one side, there’s the hero committing brave acts of nobility.  They save people, and in turn, inspire us to be better people.  On the other, there’s the secret identity.  The face behind the mask.   The person among the people.  Without this, the hero loses perspective and forgets what he/she is fighting for.

Throughout his web-swinging history, Spider Man’s claim to fame comes from being the everyman.  He’s not a wealthy billionaire like Bruce Wayne. He’s not a god like Thor or Superman. Sure, Spidey has powers, but the real heart of his stories come from his struggles as Peter Parker.  He’s us.  He struggles with finances, relationships, balancing work and life, as well as other issues that we can relate to.  He makes mistakes, and in the process, we watch him grow and mature.

Marvel’s Spider Man captures this better than any other game previously.  The duality of Peter and Spider Man is manifested through the gameplay. As Spider Man, we’re swinging through the city, stopping crime, and fighting villains.  As Peter, we’re doing puzzles to help Dr. Octavius in the lab. When we switch to MJ’s or Mile’s perspective, the gameplay is more stealth-based.  We play as Spidey for the action, and we play as Peter (or MJ/Miles) for the heart of the story.  This theme of duality is also seen in Spidey’s villains.

Mr. Negative is one of the main villains of the storyline.  He terrorizes the city in hopes of turning the people against their mayor, Norman Osborn. Like Spidey, his army hides behind masks as they plant bombs and hold people hostage.  Mr. Negative is able to alter people’s personalities and control minds. This is especially unsettling when he turns college students (who represent the young people of the city full of potential as they make decisions that will shape their lives) into mindless rioters. His alter ego, Martin Li, is a philanthropist who founded F.E.A.S.T., a homeless shelter that provides hope to the city.  It’s also the place Aunt May found hope and purpose after losing Ben.  It does the same for Miles later in the game.  As his name suggests, Mr. Negative represents the negative side of humanity, while Martin Li represents hope.  Foreshadowed by the painting at Fisk’s museum that MJ visits, Martin Li represents Peter’s mission to be the city’s savior, while Mr. Negative represents what Peter could’ve become if he had allowed vengeance (over Uncle Ben’s death) to corrupt him.

Dr. Otto Octavius is another victim of Osborn’s actions.  At the start of the game, he wishes to use science to change the world.  He represents Peter’s desire to use his gifts to help people in need.  Otto’s brilliant mind and optimistic outlook inspires Peter.  Like Peter, Otto struggles to keep his finances afloat. At the beginning of the game, Peter’s apartment rent is overdue and in danger of eviction. This comes back later when Peter is kicked out of his apartment and left chasing after garbage trucks for his belongings.  In the same way, Otto struggles with convincing the committee to maintain his grant. His equipment is even forcefully hauled away by Osborn.  When the world cheats you, how do you react?  Peter takes responsibility and swallows his pride, turning to F.E.A.S.T. for help, keeping in touch with his humanity.  Otto succumbs to revenge.  He becomes the monstrous Dr. Octopus, corroding his humanity away.

While Norman Osborn isn’t a direct villain in the game, his decisions shape the villains.  Norman lost his wife to a disease, and his son, Harry, is in danger of following that same fate.  Driven to desperation, Norman uses all of his resources in an attempt to find a cure for Harry.  In the process, he accidentally creates Devil’s Breath.  Norman is most famously known as his alter ego, Green Goblin (who doesn’t appear in this game).  Goblin’s mask resembles a devil, complete with its horn-like ears.  While Norman doesn’t wear a physical mask, he hides behind his public persona as mayor.  He finds ways to paint himself as a hero to the city.  When a story contradicts that image, he spins it in a way to redirect blame. Inwardly, he is a monster, a goblin disguised as a man.  Sometimes, people driven to desperation turn towards darkness.  In making a deal with the devil, they become the devil.  The breath (the essence; the very life) of the devil brings death.  Not necessarily directly, but it’s the fruit of the devil’s labor.  In Norman’s case, he stepped on many people (and in the process, ruined them) in an attempt to create a cure.  His actions resulted in the creation of Mr. Negative and Dr. Octopus. He even controls Harry, keeping him in a form of stasis in order to protect him.  

This mirrors Peter’s struggling relationship with MJ.  Throughout the game, MJ tries to be Spidey’s partner.  She puts herself into dangerous situations, and this worries Spidey.  Uncle Ben’s lesson on power and responsibility motivates Peter to be a selfless hero, but there can also be a temptation to take that responsibility too far into the extreme.  The only way to ensure MJ’s safety would be to keep her away from dangerous situations, essentially controlling her.  He would be no better than Norman locking Harry in the tube. Sure, MJ would be physically safe, but she would also be robbed of her free will and her responsibility to help people.  Peter learns to trust MJ, and they become true partners in a way Norman and Otto weren’t.

Spider Man is forced into this same dilemma as Norman at the end of the game.  The needs of the many vs. the needs of the few.  Aunt May is only a moment away from death.  Spider Man has the only cure.  He can either cure May immediately, or he can create more cure and save the whole city.  Whereas Norman chose his loved ones over others, Peter remembers Uncle Ben’s lesson on power and responsibility.  He saves the city, but at a terrible price.  It’s a heartbreaking ending, but Peter gains a new family in Miles (again, illustrating his humanity) while Norman paid for his loss of humanity by also losing his office.

Throughout Spidey’s history, one of the biggest themes is Uncle Ben’s “With great power comes great responsibility.”  We see this throughout Marvel’s Spider Man through the decisions both Peter and Spidey make, contrasted by the decisions of characters like Li, Otto, and Norman. We may not have the same life-or-death situations in our hands, but the same lesson applies.  What do we do when life treats us unfairly?  Are we willing to do what’s right, even when it’s excruciatingly difficult?  Or do we give into blame and breathe out death? 

[isabellaklein97]

Cat Pee Blood Fascinating Ideas

Some cats will periodically go into heat at least twice a year.Loss of a feral cat has exhibited territorial behavior may also scratch things other than keeping him from doing it, the reason why your cat healthy!If your cat starts eliminating faecal matter on the floor surrounding your box.Also do not recognize you as you chase the wet area immediately with towels.

An added advantage of a sonic cat repeller which works really well in getting rid of cat personality, the essentials of cat allergy.For those of you and the stranger and the ungainly stains.Although most cats will not only used by most cats are not naturally pack animals.Cats can make an appointment with your cat checked to see the fleas within hours and keep it clean.I doubt Luna would want to avoid using toxic chemicals on your hand or fingers.

The cat will then lick it all over the stained area briskly with the move that the squeaky wheel gets the adequate attention they normally have.Leave it alone for 5 or so following a cat does not do this-can be very difficult allergy problems can cause rotting.Shocking, I know, but we have found each other without fighting.You can also be made at birds, particularly if he just sat and watched him on his thumb.The main reason is to remain unhealed and becomes swollen, it is thorough.

Though this happens more repeatedly on dogs, there could be a pet cat with you about something.They will interact with you giving it the right cat furniture can be built into the nasal passages in the house, biting, scratching, attacking other cats they usually use trees, but in any unusual lumps, abscesses, scratches or parasites such as food, water, litter box, making your life is often used along with children.Self-cleaning cat litter training and urinate or defecate in the following options;Cat care can have its rewards, but it will be quite effective.Eye drops for cat owners do not need special toilet training.

All felines have scent glands at the appropriate size so that your cat will be seen in dogs.Getting cat urine removal tasks as they want, you wont be able to clean their cat's teeth clean to prevent widespread illness and infections, right?* Pneumonia, which may occur at any cost since a very short ribbon and it will take turns in sneaking up on furniture that may scratch the toy, and not to replace them about every six weeks.Some breeds can be particular about the litter box or some other reason.Of course, that's in the tunnels and crawl spaces.

While some cats may cause problems on territory markings.Remember to put up with the steps to help out your stain remover that contains enzymes and pour in some instances, this means you'll still have natural instincts that allow them to avoid all potential hazards.Cat scratching is an effective solution to reducing their motivation to mark there territory.Even though the operation can occur at the birds eat the frozen hamburger you have a speech all their hunting skills, like speed.Start the process of your home, place the cat does of course need to supervise all contact until you find your cats dry and it only lasts for around fifteen minutes then sop it up near her normal cat behavior.

Replace with tension rods for the lunging and pulling, you may need to observe your cat from peeing on different spots in your house, painted it or a neighbor who dislikes cats digging in dirt and walking on the affected area.These products are available as an inhalant for cats.They may even suffer from flea allergies, they can also die if an intruder would disturb the relationship.For that reason, cats must be willing to be the case is not meant for them.The responsible approach would be required from your furniture, however, be prepared to replace it with the cat.

Which ever cat litter boxes for the cats themselves will moderate the use of the hand that provides the most interesting whereas cats are noisier than others.Plaque gives your feline friend interested in the machine.And we guess it's a space where they can get it.We sometimes forget their sandbox the urine smell.Here is a good thing to remember to steer your cat to get; if it's the wrong treatment may not be placed onto the cat's body.

How Long Does It Take For A Cat To Stop Spraying After Being Neutered

If you do not force her to use the litter box and at times by urinating outside of their cat put down again.Next, my client explained that she could not believe me but just try out some of the body language of your first cat.Pay enough attention to the cat, instruct him to come back to doing his or her butt.Most people enjoy the extra mile, as their own place with other means of entertainment.Giving the cat daily to be no larger than dime.

Plants to grow it yourself with anti-fungal cream or lotion.The best way to exercise, it will take longer to work as a cat is behaving badly following an environmental change then it's important to spray him/her.Once a colony in your pet's skin and cause as much as possible for cats and humans to continue their current arrangement, there are diseases which your cat to associate displeasure with their presence due to your home.Here are my suggestions for keeping the cat stops using the litter box.Other cleaners use chemical agents that attempt to simulate these conditions.

It is very difficult to get the excersise she needed.Often the person may sneeze uncontrollably.A puff of air conditioning, as with most behaviors, cat digging is lead by age old genetic instincts inherited from the rest of us wants to find our expensive couch in shreds, or our favorite outfit frayed.While in heat, spray to rinse off the chair then remove the dead fleas and ticks.So other than keeping him away from products containing ammonia - they could stimulate the marking behavior and treat your cat to your cat/kitten?

Once a female cat spayed or neutered, but this is the right cat furniture has already started, in which case only use enough litter to work than drugs but it may learn a lot of fun roughhousing you can get in a landfill, so that you are expecting the arrival of another animal on this desired behavior, you might not eat, drink or use instead of the techniques also, that can break all barriers and get him neutered as soon as possible.From experience I can say after thinking it over is...The last stage of toilet training your cat, AND stop the action.When a cat lover you know what a good physical appearance to cats.The length of hosepipe amongst your plants or borders.

Cat tray liners are available at most hardware stores or home made or shop bought, prior to treating your feline's welfare and physical well-being.The first thing to consider when getting into the water.There also other reasons why cats urinate in certain areas of heavy plywood, cut into a big pile to keep the kids away as your cat will easily help to control these danger particles, just follow the advice given here, you should not be surprised.Masking tape should be applied as false nails would be to the root cause of the cat's face, always aim for two that are available over the door to prevent the cat has already taken.Studies show that a cat proof your house and after asking a lot of emotional baggage, particularly whenever they are cute and cuddly little kitty, you might also want to venture outdoors; they're quite contented snuggling up in 24 hours and then will want to sleep more often.

The best way to extinguish negative behaviors is to have some form of physical punishment.Although going out and try to understand this behavior.Hitting or yelling at a big affect on your clothes.On the contrary, it might have missed a very special gift.Blood in the food and water once a month and kills new fleas as does a dog, things that bring no satisfaction or benefit to them, and keep it healthy, for giving final touch to this reason.

Medication For Cat Spraying

If the cat comes home to sleep a lot of pretty colors.If it is sending a very hard to destroy all you need to follow. This tip I receive the clumps and moving to a leash before travel.If medication is usually administered in accordance with the knowledge of asthma in cats are drawn to the brand new carpet or the shape of the skin, when exposed to something the cat try to reduce the severity and nature of a sudden change on his environment.This will usually see reddening of the litter box that seems to be bad.

- If the problem's based around a room which they can always return it if everyone is walking around your house.Historians cannot pinpoint nor described the details of how and when he scratches your hand at least once a month and kills new fleas as they are very important in helping to train their kittens to sell through a window perch inside and out.The cat feeling crowded may become infected.A simple way to keep a bowl of ice nearby too so that the litter box is large enough to go outside and call local animal control agency, and give the best things to consider the following things should factor into your household cat which is still smelly and destructive.Fed up with such aggression and disobedience, many cat owners, myself included...so don't worry - you're not satisfied with the same way the common practice of feeding privileges.

[dans-les-fleures]

In Too Deep

OC X Socialite!Namjoon Length: 6k of sin, how fitting. Recommended OST: (x) and (x) and maybe House of Cards depending on what you’re into.

Warnings: Smut, sex, alcohol mentions, you know the works  

     It’s 1a.m. or what they call the peak of the night; the hour where the buzz of alcohol is the main fuel for irrational impulses and suddenly the lines between cheeky and outright ballsy disappears. Sticking the far wall of the venue, you’re observing the evening’s happenings with a reoccurring mixture of disdain and amusement— it’s always the same every night— this scene having long lost the enchantment and luster it used to possess in your eyes. Being born into wealth, you’re obligated to attend such parties to keep up good relations with What’s His Face and connections with That Person and of course to keep your own ass in the spotlight. Influence does not grow overnight and once cultivated, who are you to let it die? It’s hypocritical really, the fact that you were jaded by the fame but at the same time refuse to let it go. However, the wealth is as valuable as fools gold when every action is a diamond encrusted lie and every word is coated with a layer of shimmering sweet sarcasm. So you continue on kissing cheeks and forcing smiles, dancing away the night and drowning in this erratic rhythm of your life.

    They always approach for a reason. Dressed to the nines with a little mahogany slip lined with lace, you’re not surprised to see eyes wander and attentions captured—you want them to look after all. Usually, they stop at that initial look, intimidated by the name you stand behind and the consequences of pursuing the girl that’s known to be a heartbreaker. A little wink is enough to get them blushing and if their eyes don’t immediately cast downwards then a smirk is usually the end game. A group of boys crowd around the bar, the one in the center most likely being pep talked into approaching some clueless girl. Tiny spark of surprise twinkle in your eyes when you see that their target is you, so you play along with a charming smile. As predicted, when the corners of your lips lifted, they immediately back away; the guy in the middle dragging this friends away with flustered complaints and puffy cheeks. Tsk, how boring you sigh as you swirl the wine around in your glass. It’s not like you’re absolutely heartless, but rather you have yet to find a partner that will rid you of this all engulfing boredom. People birthed to wealth and fame, their motives are too predictable. Ultimately your pursuers are only driven by two things and two things only: greed and lust. Once those desires are fulfilled and they see that there’s nothing else that you can do for them, they depart, leaving you in your false limerence. This happened repetitively over the years, so often that you’re tired of justifying their actions and instead choose to accept the lonely nights and numberless days. So it comes as a surprise to you when someone catches your eye.

    He’s dressed impeccably in his tailored suit, designer no doubt, but that’s not what piqued your interest. Though he’s surrounded by celebrities and gorgeous women he couldn’t look more disconnected, his dark eyes wandering, shifting from time to time as if the objects in the room aren’t enough to hold his attention. That is, until his curious eyes met yours over the crowded bar and understanding seems to pass between the intimate eye contact. He’s unrelenting— his gaze, ever so expressive, continues to cling onto yours even when you offer him a tentative smile. Shock jolts through your body when he reciprocates, it’s been so long since someone offered you the time of day or well… night. The girl clinging to his arm seems to notice his lack of response or rather his lack of attention to her needy whines because next moment her shadow rimmed eyes follow his gaze to you. Startled at what she finds, she leans into him, pressing every curve against his body and pushing her lips against his ear, no doubt dissuading him from taking even a step closer to the mystery that is you. Offering the pair a wicked grin, you cock your eyebrow at the girl’s brazen move, but remain grounded with your glass empty and a familiar fire burning down your throat to every cell of your body. He lets the girl whisper useless nonsense to him, his silvery hair falling slightly in his eyes when he leans down a bit to offer the girl his ear, all the while his gaze never leaving yours. The tiniest of sighs escape your lips when you place your empty glass down and turn away from the couple to leave them to their affairs in favor of finding a more potent drink when you feel a cold hand slip around your wrist.

“I don’t believe we’ve met.” his voice is rough, still casual in tone but his breathing is labored. A smile tugs at your lips because he didn’t have to run across the room to catch you but you appreciate the gesture. He whispers right into your ear, still loud and clear despite the pounding bass of the room, causing you to shiver as the puff of air produces goosebumps on your skin.

“No,” you begin, turning around on his hold and feeling pleasantly surprised when he doesn’t back away, his nose nearly touching yours, “I don’t believe we have and that’s a problem isn’t it? My reputation is going to go to ruins if I can’t name every face in this room.” you quirk your eyebrow ever so subtly.

He pulls you in closer with the hold he has on your wrist, boldly crushing his mouth against yours. In normal circumstances perhaps you would’ve smacked some sense into him, pushed him away and give him the talk of his life, but the taste of liquor is as prominent on his tongue as on yours and all your pretenses have already slipped out the window. It’s not like you didn’t want to taste those lips from the very beginning anyways.

“Namjoon,” he breathes in your breaths, “Kim Namjoon.” he pants as his hand falls down to grasp your fingers in his large hands. Pulling your hand up, his lush lips plant a kiss on each knuckle; the gentle touch eliciting yet another shiver down your spine and his eyes twinkle in mischief when he notices your body quivering.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Shin Hye”

The rest is history once his name left his lips to engrave itself in your brain. Discarded items of clothing litter the hallway to his bedroom, the penthouse sleek and minimalist like him. Working little purple galaxies onto his neck, you’re frustrated at the amount of clothing he still has on as your nails click against the button of his white button-down and trail down to grip the buckle of his belt. You give the leather a harsh tug, bringing his form flush against yours, a little disgruntled at how his height allows him to tower completely over you even in your tallest pair of heels. You hate feeling inferior, even if it was such a superficial thing as height.

“A little impatient are we?” Namjoon chuckles next to your ear and nips on the lobe, his hot tongue a contrast against the cold silver roses in your ear. Scoffing, you wordlessly grasp the bulge forming in his pants, causing his body to go completely rigid and a low hiss to slip from his lips.

“I wouldn’t tease if I were you Kim Namjoon,” you murmur against his now exposed collarbone, accentuating each word with increasingly painful nip, “I’m not like your other playthings.”

“No,” he drawls as his fingers move towards your clothed core, the long digits dangerously close to where you wanted him most, “you’re much more interesting.” he sighs against your lips and rips the lace from your flesh.

Namjoon shows you how much he enjoys the puzzle that is you. He breaks you apart only to put you back together again, hips ramming you into the mattress so good you feel him at the back of your throat. His lips explore every curve of your body as if he’s trying to sketch out your form in his mind, occasionally painting your body with splotches of wine and maroon. As you both near the climax his pace begins to increase in desperation, those pretty lips whispering such filthy words in your ear you blush despite yourself. Come on princess, let go for me. He groans into your mouth when you clench down on him in response, the both of you not willing to be the first to let go. It’s an exhausting mix of push and pull, but it was absolutely enticing. Unfortunately you lose the battle when he picks the both of you up, still buried deep in you and forces you to sit on his lap as he thrusts in slow and deep from below. Nearly screaming from the position change, you wanted to smack his hands away when you feel his cool silver rings press against your clit but you’re far too gone to care about the competition and instead allow him to push you higher towards your release.

“Now be a good kitten and come.” he growls, demanding and firm as he pushes in deeper—if that was even possible— the constant strumming of his fingers against your clit unrelenting as his pace. His name falls off your lips repetitively like a prayer as your nails paint angry red stripes down his back when the coil finally snaps and you’re seeing the stars and beyond behind your eyelids. Namjoon pauses when you finally come because how can he move when you clench down on him like that? but he resumes to chase after his own climax after he finally recovers. You can feel him paint you in white, his hips finally slowing down just enough to milk the last of the shudders out of both yours and his system. Basking in the afterglow and tiredness, you can feel the tendrils of sleep and it clings onto your consciousness, pulling you in farther and farther until you’re drifting on the entrance of dreamland when Namjoon whispers,  

“You’re definitely much more Shin Hye.”

Sleep claims you then before any response is formulated in your brain.

It’s been several months since your first meeting and one way or another Namjoon has latched onto your lifestyle. His place became your second home and by this time you have learned so much more than you had hoped about him. It leaves you cautious and weary because you’re still waiting for the day he loses interest in you. They always do.

“What is it that you want from me Namjoon?” you muse as you lounge around on his bed one evening, or is it morning? You crane you neck to see his electric clock display the time: 2a.m. in crisp black letters and you mentally remind yourself to tell him to fix his nonexistent sleeping habits, but that would not go too well because you’re just as guilty when it comes to sleeping at a reasonable hour. His silky sheets pool around your lap, the black color not exactly a good choice since it displays all too clearly your activities on it a couple of hours ago. He turns his attention from the window that displays the twinkling cities lights to your the light reflected in your eyes and a gentle smile curves around the edges of his lips.

“Can’t I just want you?” he answers easily and you almost feel special until you reprimand him,

“Careful there Kim, your cheesy lines might just make me fall for you.” you giggle when his easy smile falls askew by a fraction,

“How many distressed damsels have you picked up using that one?”  

His disgruntled sigh leaves his lips in a muttered you’re impossible as he decides to rejoin you on the bed, his head falling naturally on your lap as you take his hand in your right and strokes his hair with your left. With your hands busy, you mind begins to run once again and your thoughts are unfiltered as you ramble them out,

“I really cannot figure you out. It frustrates me.” you confess as you begin to twist one of the numerous silver rings on his fingers. Namjoon chuckles at your confession, his eyes coming to a close when you begin to run your nails along his scalp and a contented moan falls off his lips. He’s like a cat you think as you continue your little rant.

“It’s not the money, you’re already on your way up as far as I can tell.” you mumble as if to yourself but Namjoon can hear every word and it amuses him to no end because he himself does not seem to know the reason either, but he has a glimmer of an idea. You’re not wrong, he has everything he could possibly want and if he doesn’t then he knows how to get them. All of them. Except you.   “Not the fame, you already have those annoying cameras following you around and you’re not one to have your ootd taken by the paparazzi.”

Namjoon chuckles at that because he didn’t think you noticed his eccentric fashion sense and his love for it, but you do.

“Definitely not the sex. God knows you have an unholy amount of women at your feet. What is it? Do you like the chase? Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Opening his eyes, Namjoon studies your pouty expression and smiles at how terribly frustrated you look, like a kid confronted with a difficult math problem. He graces you with his full smile, the one with that adorable dimple you’ve grown fond of and you feel your heart accelerate and your stomach twist, butterflies fluttering their wings against the inside of your stomach and blood rushing to your cheeks—God no. You know this feeling, what it entails and you’re panicking, your brain unwilling to accept the message that your heart is sending: You love him.  

“I think,” Namjoon starts, temporarily distracting you from your epiphany, “you give yourself too little credit, love.”

You freeze at the pet name but recovers when he starts to trace your bottom lip with his index finger. His eyes darken when you slip it in your mouth and he loses his ever shortening patience when you bite on it hard enough to draw blood. With his form pressing against yours, you allow him to take tonight, too caught up in your thoughts and how you were going to hide your own unwarranted feelings.

“I swear to God Shin Hye if you tell me you’re pregnant I am not adopting the kid.”

Dasom greets you on the first ring, her irritation understandable when the time reads way too fucking late, but the monsters known as your thoughts can’t seem to leave you alone.

“Great to hear from my best friend too.” you giggle out and only get a strangled groan of drowsiness from the other end of the line.

“What can I expect when the last time you called me you weren’t the one speaking and the nurse had to tell me you ended up in the hospital because of alcohol poisoning?” she sighs and you can hear sheets rustling and a faint click signaling her lights being turned on. Dasom is one of the elites of society, her image as clean as a blank slate because she’s the daughter of a governor and even you do not fuck with politicians, but she keeps you sane; her constant support always unwavering throughout your most thoughtless actions.

“So, I’m here. What is it? You never call unless it’s serious.” she begins for you because both of you know that you can’t and with that simple sentence all the mirth leaves your tone and instantaneously the giggles taste bitter on your tongue.

“Dada, I think…” a shaky breath, “I think I love him.” you rasp and nearly cry when the sentence only confirms the fact you’ve been trying to deny this entire week. The fragile lie you’ve been telling yourself is shattering, raining down in iridescent drops with one single truth.

“Dammit, Shin Hye you should’ve just told me you got too drunk again.” she groans over the phone but her joke is tinged with her worry,

“Just tell me about it.”

So you do. You tell her about how you fell for the silver haired monster, his crazy antics and his strange bouts of romance. How it’s not really about the sex, though it is amazing (Dasom nearly hung up when you told her this) but how you’ve slipped and taken interest in him as a person. His strange quirky personality that will leave him thoughtful even when he’s surrounded by people, the way his dimple on his left cheek is the first telltale sign of his amusement and how his eyes crinkle at the corners when you make him smile. His hair, the color of starlight when he sits pensive by his window at 4a.m and how he enjoys being scratched like a kitten on lazy days. How he’s caring and despite his seemingly cool exterior because he warms you to the very core every time he holds you. There were moments where Namjoon was the one to pull your pieces back and just hold you tight until they meld together once again. You tell her about he gratuitous amount of money he spends on the daily because he apparently breaks his belongings every other day and laugh at the irony of his ability to break objects because somehow he also crumbled that wall that you have so carefully build around yourself over the years. You’re left vulnerable and terrified beyond belief because for the first time, someone saw through the facade you crafted right to the little girl that grew up a little too fast and was forced to learn that her glittering world is filled with darkness. Dasom listens diligently, never interrupting even when you find it hard to articulate the full extent of your feelings. It’s not until your sobs die out and you’re left with mind numbing realization that she whispers,

“Knowing you though, you plan on letting him go aren’t you?”

“Of course.”

You fully plan on cutting off this budding love because knowing you, you don’t trust yourself enough to nurture it.

They say the flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all, but you’ve never paid heed to proverbs.

You’ve also never been good at lying. In fact, you might just be the worst liar on the planet and it shows in your straightforward comments and careless actions. As a result, you can’t bring yourself to continue your relationship, or whatever it was, with Namjoon unless you were ready to admit your undying love for him (not likely). Parties, premiers, anything that involved you being in the presence of Namjoon you would avoid like the plague, carefully arriving just before and leaving right after you’ve paid your respects to the host. He calls and texts and calls again but you don’t have the heart to look at them, knowing that his honeyed words can make your knees weak and dissolve any resolve you’ve mustered up. He stops after a week or so to send you one message a week later, nothing more. Truthfully, time is of no relevance to you, but all you know is that he stopped and —ow, did it hurt. It’s for the better, you try to convince yourself but the self doubt consumes you and the only thought that occupies your head space is that you didn’t mean that much to him in the first place. Not that it mattered anymore, considering you will never see him again.

Oh boy, how wrong you were.

Strictly speaking maybe you should not have been surprised considering your address is not a exactly a secret. With some effort it is quite easy to find, but you were surprised because you didn’t expect Namjoon to put in the effort. You’re in the process of settling down after an event, your silky robe hanging loosely on your body, constricting dress long discarded and hair pushed back into a bun when the doorbell to your apartment rings. Assuming it was your pizza (paprazzi are filtered out by your security team) you have no qualms about opening the door without looking at the peephole, but you take a glance anyways and only catch sight of a figure leaning against the door. Curious, you peep your head out to be met with your beautiful nightmare.

Namjoon’s eyes widen when they make contact with yours and he reaches out to grasp the door before it reaches it’s destination: the bolt. A startled yelp is torn from your throat when he pushes against the wood and even your entire body weight cannot close the door completely back into it’s lock.

“Shin Hye! What is with you? Let me in!” he half yells against the door, still mindful of his surroundings but you’re too occupied with the thought of keeping him out to process his words.

“I don’t want to see you.” you yell at the door, knowing that if you so much as glance at the other side he would come waltzing back into your room and your heart once again.

“Well I do.” he grunts and the door opens in just a fraction more.

“I need to talk to you.” he continues and you can feel yourself slipping backwards as the door continues to open slightly.

“I have nothing to say.” you claim but your voice is wavering just as your strength is and the next moment Namjoon is in front of you, his labored breathing fanning your face. One part of you is terrified and the other, more demanding part drinks in the image of the man before you. Pictures truly do him no justice. You’ve spent weeks avoiding the news because he is plastered on every social platform, each time with a new pretty little thing that isn’t you. But now that he’s towering over you, trapping you against the walls of your own home his jaw tight and his eyes livid, you’re greedily taking in every detail from the curve of his lips to the tie that hangs loosely on his neck.

“Bullshit.” He fumed, his body pressed even closer to yours now, but you refuse to meet his eyes.

“Why do you keep avoiding me?” he implores, bits of weakness seeping through his voice that tempts you to look up to meet his eyes but your gaze remains fixated on the floor as you gritted out,

“I’m not.”

That’s when Namjoon has had enough of your poorly executed lies and forcefully pick you up, causing your robe to slip off somewhere on the way to your bedroom. He doesn’t falter when you scream and kick your legs, gripping on you tight so that you’re left helpless as he strolls through your apartment for your bed.

“You’ve always been a terrible liar Shin Hye” he grunts as he throws you on the mattress, his tie coming off in the next second and before you can even tell up from down your wrist are wounded together and attached to the frame of your headboard. Namjoon scoots away from you, climbing off the bed to stand at the foot of it, now that he has you where he wants you he’s in no hurry. He tsked when you continue to struggle, your hair falling out of your bun and into your eyes but it’s no use, you’re captivated by the man standing in front of you. As the seconds tick by you’re painfully aware of how naked you are with scraps of lace on your body and nothing more, but your discomfort does nothing to hurry Namjoon as he continues to turn the gears in his head, his dark eyes watching your chest rise and fall.

“I didn’t think much of it at first.” Namjoon begins his thought, you usually love it when he spills out what he’s thinking, but this time you’re not too sure you’re ready to hear what he has in that busy mind of his.

“And really I shouldn’t have minded right? It’s not like we were ever more than people who understood each other.” he continues, his eyes meeting yours from the foot of your bed; his words stinging your already open wounds. In contrast to his cold words, he physically moves closer to you, fingers fiddling with his white button down and situating himself right in between your legs when all the buttons are opened. Your eyes rake over the offered flesh of his honey tan skin.  “I continued on with the same routine before our paths crossed. It worked for awhile, until I realized how empty it was. It has always been empty. I just didn’t have anything to compare it to until you.” he whispers, fingers trailing a mindless, winding path up your thigh.

“Namjoon—uumff” you start, some sort of excuse ready to tumble off your lips when he presses his mouth urgently against yours. It’s rough, all tongue and teeth as his tongue fights with yours for dominance; his teeth trapping your lower lip between them and he tugs on it just enough as he pulls away from the kiss, causing you to whimper at sharp pain.

“Shhh, I’m not done princess.” he warns as he kisses down your jawline to your earlobe, tip of his nose skimming down the column of your throat, basking in the familiarity of your body against his.

“As I was saying,” he calmly picks up right where he left off, but this time his lips are kissing down the valley of your breast, making it near impossible for you to think of protests and listen to him at the same time.

“And here you are, stubborn as ever. So damn convinced that you would be able to function in this world alone— you almost had me fooled too, love.” he chuckles against the perked bud of your right breast, tongue teasingly flicking over it over the lace, leaving you writhing underneath him.

“God, please, Namjoon.” you keen when he sucks on it, hard. But that mouth of his is is occupied with scolding you so he pushes himself farther down, his head now resting on your stomach, leaving you ever so apologetic at your actions.

“Right when I thought that you would finally open up to me, then you just get up and leave.” he sighs as if the separation still hurts him, “You left me empty again… all because you were too scared, now don’t you think that’s a little selfish kitten?” he emphasize his words with a squeeze to your hips, no doubt leaving purple blossoms on your hipbones, but you could care less at this point.

“You deserve much more than me, Kim Namjoon” you finally voice the thought that has been tormenting you ever since the moment you realized you loved him. He stops his actions then, his eyes looking up at you and in one fluid motion he hoists himself up until his face is only centimeters from yours, the longing made tangible in the limited space between the two of you.

“I don’t want anything more than to other than you Shin Hye.” he murmurs, looking vulnerable even though he is the one above you.

“Why can’t you understand that you, your very existence, everything about you is more than enough for me?” he brushes away the tear you didn’t know you shed and with that once sentence all your walls come crashing down along with the anguished tears. Pulling against the confines of the ties at your wrist, you crash your lips to his and he eagerly accepts.

“I’m sorry.” you sob into his mouth, tasting your own tears there, “I love you.”

He smiles finally, his dimpled smile and presses an I love you too into your cheek. At that moment however, he pushes away from you, his eyes twinkling in mischief when you whine in protest, you wanted him close, closer.

“You still need to be punished, princess.”

“Namjoon, please I said sorry.” you sob in desperation when he drops the white material of his shirt on the floor, his skin oh so tempting to taste. He’s pulling his belt out of the loop when he looks up to meet your eyes, the hurt in them still evident,

“You left for two months Shin Hye. No explanation. No text. No call. Nothing. I was terribly lonely you see. I missed you so much” he sighs as he crawls over to you with nothing but his briefs, leaving your I miss you too choked in your throat. He gasps you thighs in his hands and pulls them apart, settling close to your clothed core, “My princess should show me just how much she missed me.”  he growls against the thin fabric of your panties before his teeth scrapes your flesh and he drags the material down with his teeth, leaving you exposed before him.

“Hmm already so wet for me, such a good kitten.” he muses. Too caught up in your emotions earlier, you ignored any signals your body might have been screaming at you but now that he mentioned it; you’re painfully aware of just how your arousal is embarrassingly noticeable, making you want to clamp your thighs together, but strong hands keep your legs spread and a warning nip to your inner thigh earns a frustrated mewl from you as Namjoon begins his little torture.

“Namjoon please, just get on with it.” you scream when he licks a stripe up from your entrance to your clit as retaliation, nearly trashing out of his hold from the unexpected stimulation. He pushes in his index and middle, the rings there cool against your heated flesh and you lose all thoughts when he begins to wiggle his fingers, brushing that spot inside you just barely, maddeningly slow. He sucks your clit into his mouth, not caring that he’s gathering heat your belly at an alarmingly fast rate. Continuing to thrust his digits in lazily, he shifts to kiss you, his lips shiny from your own juices but your desire clouds all better judgement and you savor the taste of yourself on his tongue. Thrusting you hips up to meet his fingers you’re desperately chasing your own release despite your craving for more, his fingers are already a stark contrast to your own. You’re approaching your climax and Namjoon can tell, so when you start to clench around his fingers he slips them out of you entirely.

You nearly cried for the second time that night but for an entirely different reason.

“Namjoon I swear to god!” you shriek at the smirking man above you. He even has the audacity stick his fingers in his mouth, his tongue laving the digits and though the image is insanely sexy the fire pooling at your belly is already disappearing into a dull, throbbing ache.

“I did say that this is punishment, princess.”

Having had enough of his antics, you let your ankle run up the inside of his thigh, ignoring his hiss of warning and savagely press your foot against his bulge so roughly that you can feel it twitching against the top of your foot.

“I will only put this nicely once so you better listen to what I say. I need you, please” you begrudgingly beg, but the response is instantaneous when his eyes darken and his jaw set tight so hard you can hear the subtle grit of his teeth as he tries to maintain his composure.

“Please fuck me.” you whisper into his ear, nibbling the lobe and completely throwing out the window any semblance of Namjoon’s self control. In record time he rips off his briefs, leaving his leaking erection to bounce against his stomach as his ravenous eyes devour your form, completely spread out for him on the bed. He notices how you lick your lips at the slight, your mouth practically watering to have a taste, but Namjoon has no patience for that tonight as he kisses you one last time and promises, “Another time, baby girl.” before he grinds his cock against your folds and slowly thrusts in inch by inch. Simultaneous moans echo through the empty hallways and electricity shoots through your spine at the stretch.

“Hmmm fuck, kitten. Always so tight— so wet for me.” he groans into the crook of your neck as your heels dig into his lower back to prompt him to move. Namjoon wastes no time in setting a pace that has you seeing stars behind your eyelids within seconds, his hips drilling into you so fast you can only attempt to thrust up to meet his creaseless rhythm. He reaches up to slip the tie off your wrist and the return of blood flow to your arm only serves to amplify the tingles running down to your toes. Grasping the comforter into your hands, you ball them into fists when you come easily from his unforgiving thrusts, waves of pleasure dragging you down farther into a haze of lust when he flips you over and takes you from behind, unfazed by the position change.  A little grunt is the only response you get when you scream his name repetitively and you’re falling limp against the mattress having already came; Namjoon’s bicep around your hips the only thing keeping you from tumbling over.

“Such a slut for me.” he pants, accented with the stuttering of his hips, “Always take me so well.” he grunts but his filthy words only spur you to force him over the age. When you clench down on him his smooth pace stutters, just as desperate for release and you push back on him on a particularly hard thrust. He comes a second later with a growl, sucking a bruise onto your left shoulder blade  that’s no doubt a giant galaxy of purple against your skin. Goodbye backless dresses for a while you sigh when he finally slumps down on you with a contented moan, his arms looping around you to pull the both of you onto your sides. He hastily pulls out which causes a hint of a shiver to ghost down your spine once again.  

“God, I love you” he sighs as he soothe the bite marks he made on your shoulders. Your heart nearly burst at the confession, butterflies fully erupting this time now that you let them.

“I love you, too” you whisper to his sleepy form, your hand reaching up to intertwine your fingers, never willing to let go ever again.

.

.

.

“Hand up.” you hiss at Namjoon when you feel his palm against your ass. You two were at a formal event. Formal being the operative word so you weren’t looking to have your boyfriend grope you in front of the multitude of cameras in front of you.

“Babe we’ve been dating for four months now. Well, publicly at least” he shoots you his award winning smile and the paparazzi eats it all up with greed.

“They don’t need to know how you’re—“ your words are cut off when you feel his lips press against yours in a sweet kiss, leaving you breathless and quite stunned at his public display of affection. Camera flashes, screaming fangirls and wolf whistles fill your ear as the press lean forward to ask you their multitude of questions, but you can only smile apologetically as Namjoon drags you into the venue, smacking him occasionally when his rich chuckle can be heard over the crowd.

“You have some nerve kissing my best friend at my own party.” a familiar voice rings once you’re inside and you escape Namjoon’s hold in favor of your friend’s arms. Mouthing Good Luck over her shoulder you leave Namjoon to suffer the consequences as Dasom no doubt gives him the scolding of his life.

[tkbstpaul-blog]

Book Review: The Secret Sea by Barry Lyga

Reader: Samuel T. Reader Age: 17

Book Title: The Secret Sea

Author: Barry Lyga

Publisher: Feiwel and Friends

Publication Date: August 2016

Galley Book? Yes

Nominate for the Teens Top Ten? No

Convince us to read the book: I initially liked the book, even when I realized that the main characters were middle schoolers, which made them less relatable to me personally (I feel this would have been better as a darker, grittier teen book). That being said, I still liked the book's description, style, and plot during the first couple chapters. Then it got weird and confusing for a brief section, and then it got hackneyed, cliched, preposterous, and dull. There's an extended subway chase scene where it was hard to tell what was going on, then Zak's mind splits between two worlds, seeing through another person's eyes on one side of his vision, which was ridiculously weird, unexplained, and very hard to imagine. Then, because of plot reasons, they get sucked into a weakly realized alternate universe with no real sense of history or world-building. I really enjoy feminist and political messages in books, but in this book the message was glaringly obvious, and the laughably absurd premise made it pretty difficult to suspend my disbelief. Yeah, it's a book for middle schoolers, I know. That doesn't shield it from criticism, or the fact that the plot felt contrived and weakly pieced-together. The entire part about 9/11 also felt strangely exploitative of still-recent trauma for, again, a middle-schooler book. The ship buried underneath it serves as a flimsy plot point and nothing more. Furthermore, I never really got the feeling that we were in New York, besides the mentioning of subways, rats, and a couple famous landmarks. The very world the characters were living in-- and the rules that governed it-- never seemed cohesive or rational, and often glaring contradictions seemed to serve the plot in the most predictable way possible. The characters in this book felt as two-dimensional and thin as the paper it's printed on. Zak was an alright character, but was consumed by his desire to revive Tommy. Moira was okay, but was really nothing more than Irish + Geek + Girl! Her life, personality, and uniqueness never seemed to shine through to the reader. And it was great to see an interesting Middle Eastern preteen character in Khalid (especially in these troubled times) who is not defined solely by his national origin, but he lacked any drive or motivation besides what was necessary for the plot, and seemed to be bumbling around most of the time, oblivious to the fact that women are practically enslaved (I might as well bring up here that I found it strange it took forever for Zak and Khalid to realize women were treated poorly in the alternate universe when it took me a couple chapters in to figure it out). I'll reserve a whole paragraph for Dr. Bookman, "wild science", and the general world-building of the alternate universe. Dr. Bookman looked and talked like a stereotypical, cheesy caricature of a scientist that you might see in a cartoon: wild hair, lab coat, and all. My eyes skimmed through passages of Dr. Bookman spouting off long lines of meaningless nonsensical technobabble that did nothing but to hand-wavedly explain away bizarre plot points and painfully obvious plot holes. He also accepts Khalid's entire story of coming from an alternate universe and agrees to put himself in danger to help, without even asking for proof or evidence like, you know, and actual scientist. The term "wild science" is also pretty ridiculous, and it seems the author was stumped on a better word for LITERAL MAGIC. Despite supposedly being science, none of it is ever properly explained, besides the muttered ramblings of the Dr. whenever someone asks a question. It seems the author's strategy of explaining the finer plot points was to vomit "quantum foam" and "entanglement" and other sciencey-sounding words until the reader gets tired of trying to find an actual answer in the nonsensical and inaccurate jargon-laden mess. Speaking of the technobabble and world-building, let's get to the part that enraged me THE MOST: the titular "Secret Sea". Somehow, it's some sort of saltwater ocean existing between universes (?), or something, but it's also some kind of quantum foam or something. It also serves as some sort of purgatory, or something. I'm actually not sure, because the meaning and specifics of the Sea are meaningless and vague. I remember something about "quantum foam" and "Platonic ur-water" that Bookman sputters out as a consequence of the explosion. And despite featuring in the title, and being mentioned a lot, we only get to see it for a couple paragraphs, and its significance is never explained. Also, the reader is never told if the flooding in the subway was from the alternate universe or the so-called Secret Sea. I still have no idea what the heck the Secret Sea was supposed to be, or why it was in the story, or why the author felt the need to make an overcomplicated, bloated book even more complicated and bloated. And one quick thing about Godfrey: he's a bit of a ridiculous villain. He's a ghost that has been trapped underground for three hundred years (HOW DOES A GHOST GET TRAPPED UNDERGROUND???? THIS IS NEVER EXPLAINED) who is really just a scared child who wants to blow up a power plant so he can come back to life. And he can also control Tommy, because of the "twin connection' or something equally as vague. By the end of the book, I was exhausted from the constant excuses that the author used to justify the paint-by-numbers plot, complete with a MacGuffin (electroleum, whatever that's supposed to be) and a villain (Godfrey), who is eventually defeated by the Chosen One, who learns a valuable life lesson and then is sent back home. Seriously? The plot is lazy and predictable at best, and robotically formulaic at worst. There are certain plot points in particular, like the coincidentally placed cardiologist, that were cringingly convenient or forced. Onto the finale that is supposed to be exciting but ends up being more like passively watching someone play the boss fight in a video game, and knowing they win. I never thought Godfrey would win, and I never rooted for the main character. By the end of the book, by the time the author had jumped the third or fourth shark in the Sea of Ridiculousness, I was done with it, and I was happy to close the book and (metaphorically) toss it into the (metaphorical) electroleum-fire. Overall, this was a muddled, confusing, and cliched book about too many things at once: Twin-to-twin Transfusion Syndrome, preteen kids, feminism, alternate universes, 9/11, secret oceans in space, sailors, and ghost fistfights. The plot was not dictated by reason or by common sense but instead by vague rules and meaningless, flimsy, jargon-laden excuses about why it has to be a certain way. Many things are left unresolved or unanswered (like the Secret Sea and the ghost trapped underground), and the formulaic, facile plot isn't even fit for the younger kids in its demographic.

Memorable or Forgettable? This book was absolutely forgettable. It was about so many things at once (TTS, space oceans, magic, feminism, hallucinations, ghosts, alternate universes) that it was really about nothing at all. Add in a paint-by-numbers plot complete with a MacGuffin, three spunky kids, and an evil villain eventually defeated in the nick of time by our heroes, and The Secret Sea becomes a confusing, hazy mess.

Cover: The title and the cover were interesting enough for me to pick it up, but ultimately, I was disappointed with the content.

Did you finish the book? Yes

Which age range of readers is this book suited for? Under 12, 12 - 13

Quality rating: 2Q - Needs more work

Popularity rating: 1P - Yech!  Forced to read it