#but my feelings on Nemesis vs Eris demanded to be let out in the most ostentatious form possible lol

[sassysnowperson]

Hades 2 (occasionally) Toxic Yuri Shipping Tier List

Anyone who knows the Hades series knows it's for The Bisexuals, but anyone who has played Hades 2 knows it Loves Women. And considering that love, I think we should talk about the F/F shipping options for our protagonist, with the characters we've seen this far.

(spoilers Abound! And I've avoided blood family members [probably, it's greek myth so who knows really] partially due to personal preference, partially because I didn't want to type that much and it was an easy cut)

I know. I know! I have trash rarepair shipping opinions, but lets get into it:

Nope

Melinoë/Nemesis - I KNOW. The F/F relationship set up to be the canon romance! The Hot Stronk Lady with thighs that could crush you! Size Difference! I KNOW. But Nemesis is just. No. Someone described her as petulant and that felt right. She's sulky, she's got her own issues, she's taking it out on you. It wouldn't be enemies to lovers, it'd be fucking that person you're in a group project with who hates group projects and decides to go off and do their own thing while actively sabotaging you even though you have a shared fucking grade and DON'T MAKE YOUR ISSUES MY PROBLEM TO FIX, NEMESIS.

Not for me, but I see it (aka the kink bracket)

Melinoë/Circe: While Circe's outward persona is a little too syrupy for me, I fully admit that sex with someone who can make you bigger or smaller (or an animal, though as far as we know Melinoë hasn't ticked her off that much) has some FAB kink potential. *chefkiss*

Melinoë/Hecate: Melinoë wants praise, Hecate wants her to stop thinking of her like a mother. Let's have sex about it! Also. Abs. I mean come on ABS.

Melinoë/Scylla: Tentacles. And you can't tell me Scylla doesn't want to have sex with (someone she thinks is) a groupie.

Cute

Melinoë/Echo: Echo deserves hot rebound sex, Melinoë could use a break after the grimness of the mourning fields. I definitely see this one as a FWB situation, heavy on the mutual benefit. And having sex with someone made out of stone is. it has potential.

Melinoë/Arachne: She got fucked over by the gods, now she gets to fuck a god! I don't think I have the right kinks to really get into the sex here, but I'll just say bondage and leave it at that. But I'm fascinated by the chemistry between them. Arachne in the game is adorable, but she's also a character that really highlights injustice, and breaks through some of Melinoë's naivete about the supposed "good"-ness of her Olympian relatives. She strikes me as someone who is Very Angry but has also gone to a lot of therapy about it, and actually has a pretty good handle on her values and is carefully choosing her actions in line with that. There's something interesting there.

Melinoë/Selene: To be totally honest, this one almost went in nope, but I liked the comedy of having Nemesis hanging out there by herself too much. I just don't see a lot of chemistry. But, thinking about why, I realize that Selene is very kind and supportive, and helpful, and a little distant. So is Melinoë. They'd both need to put in a lot of work to connect emotionally, instead of believing the things they do for each other are enough. And I think there's a very interesting story in that. Well done, Selene, you've earned your place in the cute bracket.

Hot

Melinoë/Dora: Dora's the most low-stakes friend Melinoë's got. She doesn't care if Mel saves the world, she just wants to hang out and chill. Mel desperately needs that energy in her life. This is, genuinely, the F/F ship I think would be best for Melinoë's long-term mental health. She needs to let go of the idea that she's only useful for the things she does, and she needs to know how to have fun. Also, ghost sex could be very hot, you know?

Melinoë/Medea: Despite what I said about Dora, this is the HOT bracket, not the healthy or good for you bracket. And evil witch that's on your side with a taste for vengeance and a titty window is HOT. Do I think it's good? No! Do I think that Medea can effortlessly give Melinoë five orgasms in a row and leave Melinoë so mindblown that she forgets she's an anxious perfectionist mess for five seconds? Yes! And then Medea can curse her enemies and send Melinoë on her way. Melinoë is pretty sure she should have some emotions about this but is too fucked out to manage any.

Melinoë/Eris: The trash ship that got me to write this whole bracket in the first place. Eris. Brat who REGULARLY SHOOTS ME WITH THE GUN SHE STOLE FROM MY BROTHER ERIS. Whyyyy do I have so many feelings about Eris??? Well, maybe because here's the enemies to lovers that actually feels earned. Melinoë is an anxious do-gooder who has been raised by people that both love her tremendously and have (accidentally) trained her to view her value primarily in her utility. Eris is the scapegoat youngest child who has ADHD in the sort of way that comes with Fuck You demand avoidance and is out on her own for the first time, making mistakes and happy in them. I think they should have a fantastically toxic and doomed fling now (the immortal equivalent of undergrand college student age) and then come back together in the immortal equivilant of their late thirties once Eris learns that personal satisfaction can come in ways that don't harm other people and Melinoë learns that her own joy is a thing worth striving for along with her other goals. They admit that they learned a lot from each other, laugh about how stupid they were when they were young, brunch just to "catch up", and then eight hours and nine orgasms later they admit they never really got over each other and decide to give it another shot. Do you see my vision? Do you see it???

(thanks to it'snowonder's Hades 2 All Characters Tier List for the rankings image)