#but my brain turns off the responding part i s2g
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im gonna go eat glass, my favorite higher up tried to talk to me about a dnd game he started with some friends and all i could do was nod and stare at him like O_O
#i wanted to talk!!!#im jealous!!!! i wanna play dnd but a).no friends and 2) the Anxiety#so i like hearing about others playing it. vicariously i live while your character dies. or something#but i have permanent disadvantage to all socializing related rolls you see#and at least a -3 to all rolls as well#so he probably thinks i dont fucking care#its not even a im too shy to talk thing. i am#but my brain turns off the responding part i s2g#file not found#so i dont even come up with things i dont say anyway. fuck#how the fuck am i supposed to make friends if im this broken#i want to scream#loudly#and it's not like it's sociall acceptable to be like 'im physically incapable of holding up my end of the convo but i find this interesting#so feel free to ramble at me'#because this shit is supposed to be fucking reciprocal#what good am i? christ#ntac about my bullshit#to the void with love
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