#but most of us who frequently front currently don't remember much before ~18

[symptoms-syndrome]

Might delete this later but I'm feeling some sort of way and kinda wanna talk abt parts stuff. Rare occurrence. I don't wanna pin a list or anything. But listing at least some would make me feel a little. Better? Or something. Anyway. I feel like. Maybe people will think I'm weird or cringe but most of y'all don't even know who I am so. Who cares.

Anyway accepting asks about parts things today.

Little more rambling in somewhat more detail below about parts. Please be kind this is very sensitive information for me. Not all parts are listed. There are some parts on my personal parts map/list I don't recognize/know, so obviously I didn't include them.

-Hestia, adult, she/her | she's one I've been aware of the longest. I used to think she was the goddess and was talking to me. Complicated. I hesitate to call her any sort of introject because I'm fairly certain she's only Hestia because I thought she was, if that makes any sense. Like her identity as Hestia was applied after the fact. She doesn't feel particular attachment to the idea of being a goddess or anything. When I found out she was a part it didn't really distress her or anything. She's the way she's always been, kind and comforting and soft-spoken.

-Seba, young adult?, he/him | also one of the parts around the longest. He got really loud around middle school, and I thought I was hallucinating voices. He used to be kinda? Rude or mean, but in kind of a brotherly way. When I was kicked out I remember he took over really quick. He's very good at standing up for himself and is very confident. He helped a lot when I was homeless, because it was really scary for me and he was the one who pushed aside fear and got things done. He doesn't care a lot about respect that isn't earned, he only seems to respect people who respect him first. Strangely, but in a way I think is good, he used to appear as a white boy but now looks more Asian, like me.

-Mimi, young adult, she/her | Mimi is a part that I think has been around a while, but had little to no communication with the rest of us, by no fault of her own. She's peppy, she likes socializing and having fun, she likes to look pretty and has high self esteem. I once described her as sort of "nice drunk girl in the bathroom," which is somewhat accurate. She's incredibly kind, but doesn't always notice things. Very reliable despite her fun-loving attitude. Very loud and talkative.

-T (first initial, I don't like using his full name online), adult, he/him | T might be an introject, but similarly to Hestia I hesitate to label him that way because I don't know if the "source" he has was applied after the fact. I just know he's very attached to the identity of a character from a media I long since have disliked, despite it being a big interest in middle school. He knows he isn't that character, but I guess it's like he never took the costume off or something. He's not shy or quiet, but doesn't really do small talk and really mostly talks if he thinks it's important. He's a very hard worker, sometimes too much so. He can be incredibly awkward around people, but mostly because he's excessively polite. He holds a lot of sad memories and things, and can be overwhelmed by them sometimes. He's really bad at asking for help, so I try to be more attentive with him. He seems to have a lot of control over not sharing memories and such. He can self isolate, which is really hard sometimes.

Aslan, child, he/him | Aslan is very peppy, very happy and curious and loves to talk to people and learn things and see things. He usually fronts along with someone else, because I think he'd be lonely fronting alone. He likes play and jokes and is a joy to be around.

Max, unsure, they/them | Max is adventurous, not afraid of anything, and is a little bit of an adrenaline junkie. They like to explore new places, climb on things, feel wind and nature, and experience new things. They can be a little reckless, but is pretty good at only taking calculated risks.

TW for below, because I'm talking about parts that hold a lot of heavy stuff.

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-Angel, I use they/them just to be safe | Angel I think holds a lot of trauma. They used to come out a lot more, but mostly during panic attacks and such. I think they genuinely believe themselves to be an angel, but it's hard to tell. They're very sad about not being one anymore. They can get really overwhelmed by religious trauma stuff. I think they're doing better than they used to, though. They've been around a bit more recently, but have calmed down from full blown panic to mostly just jitters and anxiety.

-Unnamed little girl, child, she/her | very obsessed with manners and being polite. It can be hard to talk to her because she's so excessively attuned into etiquette. Has a lot of anxiety about doing something wrong or impolite. I've been trying to show her it's okay to interact with people more casually.

-Runaway, teenager (15-ish?), She/her | Very distressed. Only noticed her recently. She's in a really rough spot right now and I've talked about her before. In the "inner world" she seems to be in a chain link fence sort of enclosure, and I'm not sure if she's trapped there or she feels safe in there. She really wants us to run away from home, she wants freedom, and seems really stuck in our past where home wasn't a safe place to be. A lot of dark thoughts. She's very good at Pinterest though, that's one way she's been able to communicate well.

[067supremacy]

18+ content ahead!!! You've been warned.

B x g

Tw: unprotected sex, swearing, light dirty talk.

Some awful smut for your innocent eyes......

Mine

The days without Leon were challenging for you. He would frequently leave for days at a time, travelling to God knows where. He was taking on all sorts of evil that plagued the world. This is one of the times. It was hard for you not to think about it, but with Leon gone and you having desires that were being left unfulfilled, you decided to ease the tension by only running your fingertips over your body. The spongy bed beneath you acts as a force that will only increase your need as Leon's scent covers most of the area.

You are fully immersed in your touch. The tips of your fingers find your nipples. You roll the pair between two fingers, your little whimpers for the man who was away get soaked into the air of your bedroom. You give out the first mention of his name, "Leon," you whisper breathlessly. Your fingers on your nipples were nice but compared to Leon's? You weren't even close.

You begin an adventure down south, one goal sits in your mind, and that's to feel everything, the curl of your fingers would surely get the job done. That little voice at the back of your head whispers, "it's not the same without Leon," and that voice is right, but you'll have to make do with what you have. You imagine the veins of Leon's hands spiking as he grips your tits. That wild look in his clouded eyes when he knows he is about to fuck you, you imagine every single detail down to the moment where you both climax.

Your pointer finger and middle finger make contact with your currently throbbing clit. You pleasure yourself, but something is missing more like someone is missing. Leon's last words to you as he kissed you goodbye spring to mind. "Don't touch what's mine while I'm gone, " the possession in his voice was exciting; if only he could see you now, rubbing your clit while teasing the entrance that he owned. Then you do it; you jabbed a finger into your heat if only Leon could see you now.......

"What the fuck did I say about touching what's mine?" Leon's voice booms through the bedroom. You've never moved so quick; you stop what you're doing and attempt to cover yourself with a blanket, but it was no use. He saw everything, and although he sounded angry, the smirk on his face says otherwise. You already know what's about to happen and that excites you.

Leon drops his bag by the door and steps toward the bed, "come here, " Leon commands; you wouldn't dare disobey him at the moment. You needed this man; you needed to feel him. Anything would do at this point.

You stand before him naked from head to toe. His hungry eyes eat up every inch of your body; the innocent look you give him fuels a tent to form in his pants. You bite your lip in arousal, and that's the moment Leon snaps; he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of handcuffs. You can feel your juices roll down your thighs at the image of Leon dominating you; you turn around expectantly and put your hands behind your back. You feel a light pressure on your wrists as they click into place, binding your hands behind your back entirely.

"Now get on your knees, " Leon says just above a whisper; it comes out sounding like a warning, and you know it's best to do as he says. You turn to face him and drop as gracefully as possible to your knees; you come face to face with the tent that throbs in his pants, excitement within you keeps building as you wonder what he has in store. Leon pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his ripped body, scars and bruising from previous missions line his skin, but you can't help but love him even more for it.

His hands work at the buckle of his belt; the sound of metal clinking makes you feral, oh how you wish to see what he has inside there. He pulls his trousers and underwear down at the same time, releasing his perfect cock. Precum weeps at the tip, your mouth waters to taste it, and Leon knows this. As much as he wants to fuck your mouth, he knows it will be more painful for you to wait even longer. Leon jerks his thickness right in front of you, almost like he's challenging you to make a move, but you sit still with obedience being an extreme turn on for your boyfriend.

"Open your mouth for me, and stick your tongue out, " Leon demands once again to your relief. You do as you're told without question, which grants you a reward. Leon places the hefty tip on your tongue; your mind spins when you get the taste of precum. You moan at the taste, and you feel the tension in Leon build; he was so close to snapping you just had to do one more thing for him. You look up at him, eyes glossed with need, and you wink at him as you swirl your tongue around the thick head—Leon-as expected-snaps by grabbing the sides of your head and guiding his dick into your mouth. The heat of your mouth is heaven for Leon; he slowly controls your movement, careful not to strain you, but it isn't long before he starts going deeper and thrusting a little harder.

"Fuck, such a good girl, taking my cock like this, " filth drips from Leon's lips. He just had to fuck your mouth, and that's what he does. You breathe through your nose as you know what's coming; you welcome the pricks of tears in the corner of your eyes, the sound of his tip reaching the back of your throat rings through the room over and over again. Leon looks down at you in awe as he pushes all the way in until your nose meets his body. His animalistic grunts turn you on to no end; your throat tightens around the thick cock; Leon could have sworn he saw stars.

He finally pulls his dick out of your mouth; you cough slightly, eyeing up the strings of spit that connect your mouth to his dick. You look up at him with the same innocent look as before; you loved sucking him off, but you needed to feel him inside you. Leon practically picks you up and places you on the bed; it's awkward with your hands cuffed behind your back, but he drags you to sit at the edge of the bed. You are wet, too wet at this point. There is only so much you can take, so you beg and plead for Leon to slam into you, to fuck you like only he could. To your surprise, he takes pity on your need; Leon sets his penis at your soaked entrance and pushes in.

The wetness of your channel makes it easy for him to slide in. Eventually, your boyfriend is entirely sheathed in your heat; you squirm for him to make a move, you whine just the way Leon likes and that breaks his holding power. Leon draws back slowly and rolls his hips gently to gyrate a delicious drag on your insides; you can feel everything, every vein, every ridge; it feels like heaven. He resists the urge to slam into you with reckless intent, but ultimately, his instincts get the better of him. Leon lets his hips fly, pumping into your dripping centre with such ferocity that your high is already approaching.

The sound of your juices spilling down your thighs with every thrust are complete with skin slapping skin. You moan as loud as you can; at this point, your throat was shot, but that wouldn't stop you from telling Leon how good he was. "Fuck, your pussy is so fucking tight, baby." Leon moans into your neck, where he buries his face to concentrate on slamming into you. His thrusts get sloppy and needy; you know he wants to cum, but it wasn't going to be in this position. With as much strength in your voice that you can muster up, you ask if he will fuck you from behind, Leon's favourite position.

He pulls out and spins you as quickly as he can. Your ass is one of the best sights to Leon, and he's quick to ram back into your pussy. This position gives the both of you more pleasure than you had anticipated. Leon keeps one large hand around your throat from behind while also holding onto the handcuffs between your hands to keep you upright. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, " you pant as your pussy tightens significantly. You're so close, and when Leon beckons you to let go, it's like your earth shatters. Your vision blurs, and you jerk upright; a splash of your liquid pushes Leon out of your heat; Leon makes quick work of your clit, making you squirt out more liquid. Leon's head is spinning at this point; he asks you the critical question. "do you want me to cum on you, or in you?" you're still in your blissful haze. The question hadn't even registered.

You come alive again when Leon pushes back in; your molten insides massage Leon in all the right places, his stomach clenches and the bubbling feeling deep within is close to exploding. You still haven't answered his question, but when you whisper "in, " Leon gets what you mean. With one last thrust, he spurts his white, thick load deep inside you. Leon's guttural moan triggers yet another orgasm for you as well. Leon holds your sweaty body close from behind. You feel complete, and the pulsing cock buried in your pussy sends you into a frenzy, a need to be fucked over and over again until morning rises the next day.

Leon wasn't always here, but when he was, you felt like he was your home. You just had to remember not to touch what was his.

P.s I apologise....

[pureandchaotic]

bored so I answered these. here's some information about me you probably don't need to know :)

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? - I believe so, if not well I've been lied to for a while now haha 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? - I am lol 3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? - last week 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? - yes, I always do. 5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? - yes. two guys actually. 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? - yes 7. What exactly are you wearing right now? - big shirt, no pants 8. How often do you listen to music? - everyday 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? - jeans. I'm not a sweats person 10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2018? - good question. I have no idea. 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? - social most of the time. There's some moments when I'm not though. 12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? - haha I find this really funny. Yes. 13. What about ‘R’? - no 14. Can you drive a stick shift? - no but I'm learning 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? - depends on who the people are, but most the time yes. 16. Are you going out of town soon? - yes 17. When was the last time you cried? - today 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? - yes 19. If you could change your eye color, would you? - no 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? - yes 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. - me crying and having to pick up my dog's liquid shit lmao 22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? - yes yes yes 23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? - no 24. What are you sitting on right now? My bed. I'm actually laying. 25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? - yes 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? - yes. used to be frequently 27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? - my boyfriend 28. Do you get a lot of colds? - no. thank god. I hate them. 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? - forever 21 30. Does anyone hate you? - probably 31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? - nope 32. Do you like watching scary movies? - yes, but I cover my eyes through the movie and scream haha 33. Do you want your tongue pierced - no thanks 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? - 2013 35. Did you have a dream last night? - no 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? - just a second ago to my mom 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? - I doubt it. I don't really want to anyway. Too early. 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? - yes. more than one too.. 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? - I'm not sure. Probably not. 40. Did you have a good day yesterday? - yeah for the most part 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? - yes 42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? - my mom and my puppy 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? - yes 44. What’s the best part about school? - talking to people 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? - yes, too many. 46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? - not anymore 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? - too much 48. Were you single over the last summer? - yes 49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? - no. thank god. 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? - nothing really 51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? - no 52. Are you nice to everyone? - hmm I'm not sure. I try to be. 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? - yes 54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? - yes 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? - to some people. others can read me. 56. Do you think you like someone? - I thought I did like a couple months ago but I was wrong. 57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? - nope 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? - doesn't really matter to me 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? - yes 60. Do you hate anyone? - my biological father 61. How’s your heart? - It's hanging in there 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? - yes 63. Have you ever cried over a guy? - yes. too many times. It's stupid as fuck. 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? - my best friend's sister hahaha 65. Are your toenails painted pink? - nah 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? - no 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? - I mean I don't want my boyfriend to cry because that's sad, but I do like the vulnerability there. 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? - no 69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? - my friend 70. How do you look right now? - like shit 71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? - yes. I'm like that with most people tbh 72. Can you commit to one person? - yes 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? - yes 74. Have you ever felt replaced? - all the time 75. Did you wake up cranky? - no 76. Are you a jealous person? - depends on what it is 77. Are relationships ever worth it? - yes 78. Anyone you’re giving up on? - yes 79. Currently wanting to see anyone? - not anyone other than my boyfriend 80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? - homework 81. Last person you cried in front of? - my mom 82. Is there someone you will never forget? - yes 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? - yes, very. 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? - probably kissing 85. Are you over your past? - nope 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? - yes 87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? - yes 88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? - yes. he hasn't done anything wrong yet though. lol 89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? - yes 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? - not hated, but disliked. 91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? - I hope so 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? - ew 93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? - almost. funny and stupid story because he's like super gay. 94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? - umm yes? It was official then. It was going good if I remember correctly. 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? - yes 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? - yeah 97. Who do you have texts from? - my friend, and these two guys currently. But in my phone I have texts saved from my friend, boyfriend, mom and dad 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? - fuck ya have fun. lol no, I actually don't know what I'd say. I'd be a mess, but I'd act like I didn't give a shit 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? - yes 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? - me, myself, and I 101. Ever kissed under fireworks? - no 102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? - yes