#but me don't wanna do research because me is lazy and stressed as it is

[rinseesims]

Okay so I’m now obsessed with your ultimate decade’s challenge and really wanna try it myself! Drop the mods folder, seriously I love how immersive your sims world is. Also any advice for getting started and staying motivated?

I'm sorry this response is so late, but thank you so much! All the mods I used to start out are listed on my pinned. If you see a specific mod that you like and can't find in my tags, feel free to ask, and I'll pull it up next time I'm in-game.

Also, I think my biggest piece of advice is, just do what makes YOU happy and go with the flow.

When it comes to mechanics like setting up a save, try not to stress yourself out. I honestly just started with an empty save, made the the Rolfe parents and gave them three kids to start off. I downloaded a few builds from the gallery, like a bathhouse, tavern, castle, etc. and looked for a few medieval families as well, but I didn't fill up the neighborhood because I knew I'd just be working from the ground up. You also don't HAVE to have a castle and royal family - I just really wanted to try out the Royalty mod! You can also make your own builds and families, but I generally don't have the patience, lmao! There are people who like to make sure their saves are 100000% ready to start like aesthetics, accurate builds, etc, and that's fine and amazing! I'm just a little less patient with setup and decided to take things as they came and focus on the main family gameplay over the aesthetics (because I'm lazy).

When it comes to legacy challenges, most have a formula for you to follow and it can get easy to get stuck in the routine of it. I love challenges because they give me a good to-do list and keep me invested in the game, but I really like to sort of come up with reasons as to why my sims do certain things so that I'm invested in the story as well. The Ultimate Decades Challenge differs from other challenges in that, it doesn't really have a specific formula like aspirations and goals. The death rolls make things interesting, and so do the events, but these can take several sim days and therefore, there's the risk of losing interest because you're just waiting for your sim to age up or have babies.

I think the best way to tackle this challenge is to come up with a story and figure out what your sims' motives are. This never has to be immediate. I kind of figure out the bare bones stuff and decide on things as they happen and build up the story from there (I wasn't planning on having Aemma meet Cassian, but alas, it happened, and we had a whole THING based on that dynamic). Sometimes the sims themselves do something wild and I'll take that and run with it (i.e. Aemma getting attacked by the tax guy). I didn't intend on making Cassian such a jerk, but since he was acting up right after marrying Joan, I said oh well! My goal has always been to just have my heirs and get through each year, but everything just falls into place, because if I tried to plan every step, then I'd stress myself out!

Historical accuracy is a big part of what makes this challenge so different from modern gameplay, but don't feel tethered to it. The Sims has limitations and there's only so much cc and mods can do. I didn't expect to have a supernatural storyline in mine, but when I saw an opportunity for it, I just said screw it, and that's pretty much my motto when I play UDC. I prefer to stick to the rules of the challenge as far as the doc is concerned, and I love history so I do like to listen to podcasts and videos for research, but the rest is really up to what makes gameplay convenient and fun for me. I don't feel compelled to stress over every single inaccuracy present in my game (and there are many) because then I won't really have fun with it. Some people hate that, and some people don't mind, but it's your game at the end of the day.

The SPREADSHEET is a lifesaver. I'm all over the place and need things visually laid out for me, so I actually have a lot of fun (weird) updating the spreadsheet. It's also how I keep up with this growing family, since I usually refer to what comes next visually to figure out what I'm going to focus on in the next episode. I've also updated/added stuff to that spreadsheet that works best for me, and I know other UDC simmers have done the same with their own.

Finally, give yourself a little grace. I can't speak on motivation because I go through bouts where I lack it, and I used to kick myself whenever I wasn't able to fulfill a goal. I ended up on a five month hiatus for MANY reasons, but it had nothing to do with my love for the game. If it wasn't for all the outside factors, I think I would have still been very motivated to continue my usual schedule, but even if I wasn't, that's okay. I work a stressful job that takes a lot out of me and sometimes I just don't want to record or do much of anything, but I knew I'd get back to it eventually, and I know there are people who understand that.

I hope this helps! And I hope you are having fun with this challenge if you've already started it!!

[dymagamwedd]

name :      iris pronouns :        she/her preference of communication  :    discord most active muse :     right now, ferry and chauvelin. it tends to fluctuate depending on my mood and what's going on in life at the minute. ferry muse is highest right now because... picket lines. say, have you thought about joining a union? experience / how many years :     oh, god. been around on tumblr rp since at least 2011, and i roleplayed on ff.net, facebook, foopets, and skype before that. if you really wanna go back further, i started roleplaying through gmail instant messenger with my school friend back when we were twelve. i've been at this hobby for ages. platforms you use :    tumblr and discord. best experience  :    man... probably the process of creating my OC lewis anwyl and his whole story / network of characters. that got me through some rough times in the pandemic. i'm less active on his blog now because of phd pressure, but i still write him a lot on discord. my original angry little welshman before ferry came along. rp pet peeves :      uhhhh i've got a few, but one that really grinds my gears is when people assume things about your muse that aren't true and just refuse to listen when you gently tell them that they're godmodding a bit. i had it a lot with lewis, where people would just assume because he's a Ye Olde Medical Man that he must treat patients horribly, hate women, and think every ailment should be treated with cocaine. it happened at least half a dozen times. everyone brings their own understanding and biases to RP, that's only natural, but if someone tells you 'hey you're assuming things about my muse that aren't true,' listen to them. if muses are making the assumption IC, that's fine! i love conflict! but it's when that spills over into OOC that it starts to become a pet peeve for me. fluff,  angst,  or smut :     i love all three, but it depends on mood and muse. some muses just aren't very interested in sex, so i don't write smut with them. others don't let themselves get into fluff situations, so i don't write fluff with them. sometimes i'm in the mood for angst, sometimes i need some cathartic cuddling content. it's all a matter of situation. plots or memes :     plots. i really struggle with memes that have no context attached to them. usually, even if a meme is entirely out of the blue, i will end up messaging to plot just a bit before i answer it. long or short replies :      medium, 2-3 paragraphs. i do love when people get inspired and write really long replies, but i just... cannot handle that as a sustained thread. not to pull the 'my life is so hard' shit, but doing a phd involves an insane amount of reading and writing. when i want to wind down from a stressful day of research, i don't really want to face a full draft box of 8+ paragraph replies. these days, i prefer to keep it concise. are you like your muses :    there's a bit of me in a lot of my muses, especially ocs. there's a bit of me in ferry, there's a lot of me in millie. nothing about me in jacob, though, fuck that guy.

tagged by :       @polarean thank u <3 tagging :  uhhhh i'm lazy. i'm sharing the means of production with the workers of the world. aka, steal it from me.

[highlordofkrypton]

OKAY, OKAY, I will try to summarize!

Personally, I find book binding is super easy and so so versatile! You can make due with so many tools around the house if you don't wanna spend. My disclaimer is this is the second book I've done ever, so I'm still learning. This pics I'll use are of my first bind from a couple of weeks ago!

IT MAY SEEM DAUNTING AT FIRST, BUT IF YOU GO STEP BY STEP ITS EASY.

TOOLS NEEDED (in order)

Optional: Microsoft Word / InDesign (or some typsetting tool)

Printer (or you can use a friend's, or the local library)

Copy paper - I'm using this until I get good enough to get the fancy novel paper

Optional: Bone folder (I freaking love this tool)

Awl or pushpin

Sewing needle

Sewing thread

Glue

End papers, I used a card stock for this bind but I'll probably get fancy ones for my Tamlin bind.

Bookbinding board (I like to thrift and upcycle)

Book fabric (you'll need to research what's accessible to you!)

Optional: Decoration

THE BIG STEPS (in order, but the numbered list was not agreeing with the photos)

Typeset & print fic - A lot of really popular fics/big name fics already have a typset version if the author gives the OK. Otherwise you can use word to typset your fic. This video has a really great tutorial on how to typset on Word and how to print. The reason why I don't recommend the whole video is because I am lazy to cut the pages to match an existing hardcover, I prefer making the hardcover myself. I just print on standard letter size then fold in half.

Fold signets - The same video will show you how to fold the signets. If you're like me, no trimming needed because you're just folding the paper in half. After this step, I like smooshing my signets with heavy books.

Punch holes - A lot of binders have home made tools to measure where the holes should be, but I really like the easy improvised guide by this bookbinder. You can use a pushpin to make the holes if you don't have the fancy tool!

Sew the signets - This is my favourite and most relaxing part! I'm very lazy and have zero patience right now to learn fancy stitching, so this is the stitch that I used. I also like that it shows you how to stitch with regular sewing thread instead of the fancy bookbinding thread which is thicker and a pain in the ass. It's okay if you mess up here because we'll hide the stitching anyway.

Reinforce the spine - Make sure your books are aligned and smoosh your books beneath heavier large books, I used old uni books and put protective parchment paper between. Using a paper-friendly glue, I like PH NEUTRAL PVA glue, I will coat the spine with glue, let it dry then go in a second time.

Add end papers! - Pick a pretty paper that you'd like to have between the hardcover and the novel papers. From here on out, I used this video. Also, because I bind in the letter size, I can just pick letter size paper and fold it in half for the edges.

Reinforce the spine AGAIN - I added cheese cloth with glue to make sure that the spine is super strong!

Measure out the hardcover - Using the same tutorial, I measured out the hardcover board. These boards are super hard to find in my area, so I just went to the thrift shop and bought a 1$ home and garden DIY book to take apart.

Glue the book fabric - You might have to research where to find book fabric depending on where you are located! Don't forget to smoosh the fabric & the board under your heavy books.

Decorate! - Once the glue is dry, this is the stage to decorate. Decorating stresses me out, so I skipped this step, but there's tons of tutorials, methods, etc. I'm leaning towards acrylic paint, but we will see!

Glue your hardcover to your book text - Still using the same tutorial, always make sure that you're gluing the book text the right side up!

(hehe its messy, I got glue everywhere but i love it)

Sprayed edges - You're basically done, but I'm experimenting on sprayed edges. I used acrylic and it did bleed. It was fun to do anyway! Sorry, I only have pictures with my dog lmfao.

I REALIZE I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS A SERIOUS QUESTION, BUT THAT'S BASICALLY HOW I DO IT! I've only done it once, and I'm trying to be more accepting that hobbies should be flawed, and imperfect and just FUN!!

I hope this helped; I'm still new, but this hobby brings me GREAT JOY!!

I'm working on dust jackets next!

Bookbinding your own writing is so !!!!! PRECIOUS!!!! It’s probably gonna end up wonky but I’m GONNA CHERISH THIS FORVER

[singingfirefliess]

marriage of convenience; historical au

So @silversundown2​ and I were talking earlier about some random TV show and suddenly felt inspired to write a Caryl arranged marriage AU. Only she refused to write it so she basically forced me to write it instead and I still hate you a little for that.

I couldn't really come up with any scenario where anyone would arrange a marriage between them, so it became a marriage of convenience instead. This is set in the early 1900s. I hope the plot makes at least a little sense since this is so short. Here's the quick version: Carol and Daryl have known each other since childhood, he inherited a farm from Dale, she worked at Ed's family's farm and they had an affair - when she gets pregnant he throws her out. Carol asks Daryl for help (by marrying her to cover up her pregnancy and giving her a place to stay), and he agrees.

send me a caryl prompt? ❤

Carol's palms feel clammy, the lace of her wedding dress itching against her throat. She can barely breathe in it. It's too tight - even though she has not yet put on much weight, the buttons and hooks of her grandmama's dress had been a challenge.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she looks around the small and sparsely furnished living area of the house. She's been in here before, but always as a guest. Now, it's her home. Her duty is to keep it tended to now.

“Why'd'ya look so scared?” Daryl's voice startles her and she turns with a gasp she can barely hide. He looks so handsome in his suit, no matter how worn it obviously is, mended in many places. “Ain't gonna hurt ya,” he promises, shrugging his coat off and placing it over the back of a chair.

A smile curls her lips, and still she feels uneasy, her heart stuttering in her chest. “I know that,” she says softly, turning away from him again. Slowly, she trails her hand over the mantelpiece of the fireplace, weathered wood and dusty bricks rough beneath her touch.

She can hear Daryl’s heavy footsteps behind her, the floorboards creaking. “This is ya home now,” he mutters, and the idea of that still feels so foreign to her. “Don't want ya to be scared all the time.”

She wants to tell him so desperately that it's not him she's afraid of. That she trusts him. That she's beyond grateful that he agreed to this marriage - that he saved her from scrutiny and poverty.

Instead of saying all this, she gathers what little courage she as left and steps into his space. Her hands press into his solid chest, the flicker of the oil lamp shimmering in the ring he gave her earlier.

She can show him her gratitude instead. This is their wedding night after all. Even if the reasons for their marriage are far from honorable and even further from love - but how many people get the luxury of marrying out of love, anyway?

Slowly, she leans in closer, cups his warm cheek in her hand. Is ready to press her lips to his and let him take what's his right. But instead, calloused fingers curl around her wrist.

“We ain't gotta do nothin' ya don't wanna do,” he rasps, his breath warm against her skin and a shiver runs down her spine that feels unfamiliar and confusing.

Her brows crease and she lets go of him. “But I'm your wife- It's your right...” she trails off, feeling rejected and confused. “Do you not want me?” she asks, her hand hovering over her stomach - over the child that isn't his but that he willingly accepted as a condition for this marriage.

Of course he wouldn't desire her like this. Or maybe Ed was right all along when he told her how plain she was and how nobody but him would ever want to be with her. And then he hadn't wanted to be with her, after all - after she told him she was carrying his child.

Instead of a proposal, she'd gotten a palm to the cheek and had been thrown out, dismissed and cast out into the rain.

Feeling insecure she looks down at her feet, the hem of her cream colored dress kissing he wooden floor. She shudders a little when Daryl gently touches his fingers to her chin and lifts her head. “Ain't got nothin' to do with that,” he reassures her, and the half-smile he gives her is too precious to resist. “We ain't gotta rush this. No more than we already did.”

She doesn't deserve him. Doesn't deserve any kindness in return for her own youthful foolishness but here she is with a roof over her head and a kind man taking her hands in his. “Thank you, Daryl,” she breathes through the tears that dwell in her eyes. “Thank you so much.” He has done so much for her in the last month, so much more than simply agreeing to marry her to cover up the mistakes she's made. “I can't- this is more than...”

“Carol,” he interrupts her, his throat bopping as he swallows deftly. There's a nervousness to him that she knows all too well - fond memories of childhood days on her father's farm blur in her mind, a little boy ducking his head whenever she smiled at him. Never would she have thought to call that boy her husband one day. “'s all right.”

The shutters rattle in the wind, and suddenly Carol is all too aware of the slight April chill. Gooseflesh erupts on her skin, not going unnoticed as Daryl's gaze briefly flickers down to where her arms are left exposed - the silk gloves she wore earlier folded neatly on the dresser by the door.

“I made up a room for ya, down the hall,” he explains, pointing down the dimly lit hallway. “'s next ta mine.” A blush tints his cheeks in the sweetest shade of pink, and Carol can't help but smile a little even through her own nervousness. “'s got a nice view of the woods,” he continues, ducking his head before continuing. “Thought it would make a pretty nursery.”

Her heart clenches to the point of pain and she can't help the tear that spills over and trails down her cheek before soaking into the lace of her dress. He is so considerate, so unbearably kind that it's not an easy thing to accept.

“Do you really think you can accept this baby?” she asks, picturing her child in his arms, maybe outside on the porch overlooking the rich green forests and the fields. He looks up at her with an uncertain expression. When he nods, she knows it's not quite this simple, but she'll take this sign of hope.

Another thought weighs heavy on her mind, something she hasn't dared to address yet. “Will you want children of your own?” she asks with a small, fragile voice. To everyone else, the child she'll birth in a few months will be his. But it's not, and now that she's his wife she'll accept her duties.

He shrugs, letting go of her hands to bury his own in the pockets of his trousers. “Never thought about it.” There's a sadness to his voice that spikes her curiosity but she doesn't press the matter. For now, it's nothing to be concerned with. “Ain't gotta think about it now.” She nods in agreement, releasing a shuddering exhale and wiping the tear trails off her cheek. “Rest,” he murmurs, nodding towards the end of the hall. “'s been a long day. Ya look a little pale.”

For a moment, he reaches out almost as if to trail his fingers over her cheekbone but then he drops his hand again, taking a step back.

“Good night,” Carol whispers, leaning in just enough to press a light kiss to his cheek. He smells of pine and tobacco and she allows her eyes to close for a moment before pulling away.

The floorboards creak under her slow steps and when she closes the door to her new bedroom behind her, she allows her tears to fall freely.

[bluebxlle-writer]

Any advice for finished NaNoWriMo, especially when you have school and rehearsals for a play? (I am at like 6k so I can afford a little slack, but just a little)

thank you!

@warriors-wyrms-writing

Winning Nanowrimo while balancing school

masterlist. main navigation.

@bluebxlle_writer on Instagram

1. Adjust your schedule.

With school in your way, you'll definitely have less time to write. To utilize your time better, not only you need to create a schedule to stick to, you also need to adjust your existing ones.

If you're most productive in the morning, adjust your schedule. Sleep earlier, so that you can wake up earlier too and get some writing done before school. If you're most productive at night, complete all your assignments in the afternoon, so that the evening can be used to write.

2. Write during minor subjects

Okok this only applies for people still in online school, and I'm not condoning writing instead of studying, BUT- After school, we'll often feel too overwhelmed, thus feeling too lazy to get any writing done. This is definitely a problem, especially if you don't write after a few consecutive days.

So if you can, write during school, while you're most likely still awake and energized because it's still pretty early into the day. Me, for example, I often write during Lifeskills classes, because it's a minor subject where we learn things like emotional intelligence or setting goals. Most of the time, I can answer the worksheets without even paying attention, so that's when I often squeeze in some writing.

3. Writing burnouts

With school torturing affecting you, writing burnouts might happen more often. Exhaustion from school will often make writing feel like a chore and burden. When this happens, you can do two things :

• Force yourself to write. Not too much, because we don't want your brain to explode, but write something. Maybe you can stray from the outline order and try writing a favorite scene that had been in your mind lately.

• Take a break. Do what makes you happy, so that you can recover from the burnout. Maybe you'll feel better the next day, and you'll get more writing done to cancel out the times when you didn't manage to get a daily word count. But be careful to not take a break for TOO long - it'll be stressful to catch up in the future.

4. Avoid social media / internet while writing

Social media and the internet are huge distractions, so you might wanna stay clear of them while writing. You already have limited time to write during school days, and if you get distracted by Pinterest or Instagram, you'll end up failing to write anything.

"But what if I wanna use the internet to research something?" Don't do it while writing, if you think that you might get distracted by the other search results. Research later, after your writing session.

5. Take down notes

If you get any ideas out of your writing sessions, especially in school or extra classes, write them down so you won't forget. Whether it's about the plot, dialogue, characters, or even a new song to add to your playlist, write them all down, because you can't be bothered during major subjects in school. Once you get home and finish your homework, read through your notes again to remember your new ideas from earlier.

[skipps-writes-for-gojo-satoru]

Someone made an incredible animation of the scene in hidden inventory where Gojo gets screamed at by teen girls fawning over him, and it's beautiful ✨

https://youtu.be/5l9_O51-YYs

Also, it highlights my previous point that when Gojo's confronted by women flirting with him, he doesn't really do... Anything. He's just chill about it. And the little °^° face he makes and the little confused "hm?" from the manga panel in the beginning could indicate that Gojo might not be hit on by girls as often as we think- Jujutsu sorcerers are busy and have even their time off interrupted on the regular. Other than being mildly amused, we don't see Gojo actively bask or pursue attention from women (other than Utahime ofc, which could be because she's as straight-laced as Nanami).

The little content smile he gives at the end basically says it all: Gojo enjoys the attention, but most likely isn't interested in pursuing anything more than that, including sexual relations (with more reasons from my previous posts).

I could see Gojo being the type to allow himself to appreciate just a bit of affection from random women he encounters on missions and then casually walking off with a lazy wave of his hand- just like he did with Miwa.

The man's on a mission (literally) with the goal to change the world. Virgin Gojo is very possible seeing how unaffected he is by women throwing themselves at him- or at least, he allows himself a moment to enjoy the attention but is quick to dismiss the thought from his mind to focus on his duty.

Honestly, non virgin Gojo is still possible, but unless we see Gojo actually show interest or actively flirt with someone (which seems unlikely), we may never know. To me, analyzing Gojo with his interactions with other characters (not his antics) makes me think it's more likely Gojo is a virgin than not, simply bc the argument for Gojo being a non virgin is his looks and immaturity (or his act of immaturity, we know Gojo thinks in a much more complex way than he lets on) which I'd argue is not an accurate description of his character, because that's only a part of it, and is in fact only what Gojo shows on the surface. And there's plenty of reasons why his lifestyle would make such getaways difficult. Also, Gojo's lack of enthusiasm for it. Gojo allows girls to fawn over him, but he hardly stokes the fire more than just taking off his glasses when they asked him to.

If Gojo was more like Osamu Dazai from Bungou Stray Dogs who flirts with every women he sees, I would have an easier time believing he would not be a virgin, but his lifestyle, behavior, and even his Six Eyes and his goal makes me think he wouldn't choose to constantly go on small getaways like that. Personally, I'd say Gojo spends more of his time plotting and maximizing his efforts on recreating Jujutsu Society.

Really, when Gege said he couldn't see Gojo being faithful to a woman could be because he's already committed to his job. Not because he's out womanizing, but even because the type of woman he'd commit to is so rare. And even if he did find a woman he'd commit to, being the ENTP he is means he's incapable of immediately recognizing and acting on his emotions- not because he doesn't have them, but because they're not really his forté. He'd rather rationalize his behavior than attempt to understand his own feelings. It'll take time and patience, but Gojo committing is still a possibility.

Honestly, I'd like to hear why people would think Gojo's a cheater/womanizer to begin with? Besides him teasing Utahime, Gojo's been pretty respectful to Shoko and Mei Mei. He even complimented and recognized Mei Mei's strength as a sorcerer. He didn't flirt once with the hoard of girls fawning over him. In fact, he was quick to focus on his mission despite the attention. I don't think Gojo's ever even teased Shoko about anything (other than commenting on her terrible way of explaining things, which is more of a fact than teasing). Though, correct me if I'm wrong.

Also, I haven't mentioned Riko much in previous posts and idrk why lol. But while Gojo is dominated by logical thinking, he's emotionally inept enough to notice Riko's mood. He may seem cold in how he comforted her by saying he'd leave her behind, but it's more of his ENTP personality that has him expressing his emotions in a more objective manner- even if it hurts, it's the truth, and that's fine isn't it? (Typical ENTP way of thinking).

Also slight tangent I read that one long meta about Gojo's interaction with Riko someone linked, and I'm completely appalled that they would think Gojo is only "pretending" to have emotions, "mimicking" them even! That he's incapable of truly feeling when in fact it's inherently characteristic of any ENTP to express themselves in a way that, to others, would be considered "cold" and unempathetic. It just goes to show just how misunderstood ENTPs are. They only make up 3% of the world so are often confused for socios/narcs/psychos which is understandable-

But I wanna make one thing clear: all sociopaths could be considered ENTPs. But not all ENTPs are sociopaths. (Switch Socio with psycho/narc/etc and it still works). Why?

Purpose.

Arrogance, boastfulness, unrefined emotional sensitivity, recklessness, impulsiveness- all of those fall below the importance of Purpose. Regardless of how Gojo "acts," it's been expressed time and time again- Gojo acts for the sake of the next generation. Sociopaths/Antisocial Personality Disorder/Psychopaths have one most common defining starting point: "it all starts with cruelty to animals and lack of response to their own actions, or actions of other people."

Let's make it more simple: regardless of whatever end of the spectrum sociopathy can be- high functioning, low functioning- antisocial personality disorder, in it's most simple terms, along with psychopathy and narcissism, condensed into one common trait is very clear: Their actions, while easily blendible into society, are for the sole purpose of pleasuring themselves.

Why don't people notice those with these disorders? Because their *behavior* is so similar to not just the typical ENTP, but also the ISTP AND ESTP. They can easily be mistaken for common members of society, but again: their sole purpose is the pursuit of pleasure themselves, while acting with complete disregard for the consequences of not just their own actions but others'. Staying in one job for extended periods of time is especially rare for a sociopath in particular, and this is one very clear difference between Gojo and a sociopath.

Gojo is willing to spend the rest of his life as a Jujutsu Sorcerer for the sake of others. This sentence alone defies any inclination that he could be a sociopath regardless of any other symptoms commonly associated with sociopathy, such as emotional insensitivity, hostility, risk taking behavior, lack of restraint, and impulsivity- there's a reason such people blend in with society, and that's because such symptoms are common with *any* person, regardless of personality type. Other than with the higher ups, Gojo hardly shows the anger, irritability, or general discontent that a sociopath is most commonly is associated with as their established mood - and even if he did, would being easily irritatable while in the position of the Strongest, the one who carries the burden of establishing a new future of Jujutsu Society on his shoulders alone be so unrealistic? That is why Purpose is so important.

If Gojo truly was a Sociopath, he would have dipped long before Jujutsu Kaisen had even started.

And I apologize for yet another tangent! Someone said Gojo sees his students as weapons or tools to be used in furthering his agenda. While that is not necessarily untrue, the implication is hardly close to reality. Like someone else commented, Gojo goes far and beyond for his students. While he is undoubtedly lacking in his ability to show affection in the most traditional of ways, it's clear that Gojo cares for his students-and others- deeply, whether that be when he went to see Yuta on his business trip to ensure Yuji would be safely taken care of in his absence, when he goes out of his way to personally supervise his students, when he willingly spends a whole day with Nanami just to ask him to mentor Yuji for him (in the Light Novel) regardless of Nanami's disdain, when he turned his Infinity off to allow Yaga to punish him (Gege made it clear in the manga that Gojo had done so to be a good role model for his students and that he recognizes his behavior deserves punishment), and when Gojo commented that he didn't want to think any of his students would be the traitor. Gojo does not express himself as most people do- he's only one of the most misunderstood personality types (on record, along with a few other personalites if you've researched them) and to say people have misinterpreted his character is much more plausible when even in real life, people who behave like Gojo are statistically reported to be misapprehended more often than more populated personality types. When inspected closely, there are so many ways Gojo himself expresses his care for other people, only hidden thinly behind the surface of his lofty attitude and uncaring demeanor. It only takes a few looks at his behavior, not his mouth, to recognize how much he goes out of his way for his students, doing he things that don't necessarily help further his agenda simply because he wants to, not because he has to. Changing the world isn't even something the average person would strive to do, yet Gojo makes it his life goal to accomplish. How could a heartless, emotion mimicking person possibly endure the strife necessary to accomplish such a task? It's appalling.

Gojo is more charitable than most people on the earth, simply because of the perseverance and diligence he takes to withstand the stress and hardships of Jujutsu Society for others. Remember that he chose to become the Strongest, it didn't happen overnight, and in becoming the Strongest, he carries the heaviest burden.

That's without mentioning that even though Gojo is the Strongest, and while to most he seems to proudly state so, it's clear that despite Gojo's antics, he recognizes his weaknesses as a sorcerer and is able to rely on others to make up for them. He had asked Nanami to mentor Yuji because he acknowledged his own flaws as a teacher and that Nanami would have a better capacity than him in that area (in Light Novel). He travelled to see Yuta to ask him to care for Yuji in case something happened to him- and Gojo knows that it's possible that he could be defeated somehow, someway. He's not so deluded to think he's untouchable, even despite his playfulnesses. He is always thinking ahead, calculating his next move while understanding his own shortcomings, acting prudently to ensure a better future.

He is a much deeper and complex character if one only takes the time to look past his antics and analyze his behavior- Something many people in real life seem to miss, and that is the true reason why Gojo struggles to commit.

Sorry for the long tangent and repetitiveness in the beginning lol! Back to the main issue!

Tl;dr there's more evidence of Gojo being a virgin who's more focused on work than pleasure. There's plenty of handsome men who don't seek out sex for reprieve but seek mental stimulation instead for relief. It's totally normal. Gojo could even spend his free time playing video games. He did admit to spending long hours beating 99 years of Momotarou Dentetsu to Geto. He's a gamer, and we know how gamers are commonly known for being virgins lol. Gojo could even be asexual for all we know. He could even be demisexual- someone who doesn't pursue sexual pleasure unless he's made an emotional connection with then. He doesn't necessarily have to even be straight or bi. Therefore, Gojo is very likely to be 28 year old virgin, and there's nothing wrong or strange about that.

Sources: ENTP articles, statistics on mbti rarity, other mbti articles, some quick Google searches, articles on sociopathy, psychopathy, narcissism, and antisocial disorders, etc, the manga, light novels, other metas in threads I remember reading, the anime, graphic organizers

Thanks for reading! 🙏

- 🤔

AHHHH CAN I JUST SAY THE ANIMATION IS DAMN GOOD 🔥🔥🔥 this scene in the manga is absolutely iconic prepare yourselves for season 2 😤 I literally had to stop the video and stare at him...I think one of the reasons Gojo behaved that way is becuz during childhood he probably didn't go out and be around people hence his confused reaction with the screaming teens. I mean everyone enjoys being complimented and getting attention from time to time and gojo is not an exception to this. Yes I definitely agree that when Gege said that he probably meant he's too busy for a relationship. The way it was translated made alot of people confused hence the player/cheater gojo was born. But then also the remember the comment he made when Gojo won the popularity poll? "Pick Nanami instead" ahhh hilarious

MY GAWD 🤔 ANON CAN I JUST SAY THAT YOU'RE AMAZING?! You explained in a way that easy to understand and you made statements backing it up with evidence. I learned from your ask than I ever did in university 😂 wow its truly fascinating though I never knew much personality types especially ENTPs I DON'T BELIEVE FOR ONE SEC GOJO IS A SOCIOPATH OR PSYCHOPATH fight me if you do. Exactly exactly just as anon said "He is a much deeper and complex character if one only takes the time to look past his antics and analyze his behavior." I COULDN'T AGREE MORE 😤 thank you so much for once again educating the community I'm a fan of you 🤔 anon ❤

[b-lessings]

Assalamu alaykum🤍🤍🤍

Somedays I feel the world is so unjust toward people who do not excel at school, and/or drop out of it at the end. They say they are lazy people, that they do not think of the future, that they have sabotaged themselves.

I say that... it's not true. Yeah, many, if not almost all, drop school because they don't wanna study. Yes, they are significantly less chances at having a job, and zero chances at having a well-paid one. Yes, having less chances at having a job can sabotage also your personal life, because, let's be honest, it's how capitalistic societies work.

But... I never used to be bad at school. I was the best student of the class, in any class. I was the one who would worry about getting a B (actually here we have a numerical system and B is 9/10 here) instead of an A (10/10). But lately I don't see the point of it, and I have realised it doesn't give me any personal pleasure and only burnout and excessive anxiety (which is strange since my parents don't punish me for bad marks... I just feel like I owe them 10/10s all the time), and that I never had a good studying method and that when I try one I'm unable to focus, I was just a "gifted kid". I was just lucky, until I wasn't anymore.

It used to make me feel so good, because it was the only part of me mom praised me for, and now I am to discover it was all luck, and now I only feel stress, and it's not even worth it at the end because our educational system here is so bad and narrow-minded and superficial.

A carrier? I always *thought* I wanted one, but now... Now, yeah, I want to learn more about herbology and photography and etymology and fashion history and sewing and embroidery and knitting and cooking and gardening and A LOT of other *specific* stuff that don't pay any of them bills, I want to research, I want to KNOW but. I want a little home, a husband and maybe bi idhnillah children. I want a quiet life, I realised I can never be a doctor because i HATE HATE H A T E maths and I have a weak stomach for things like blood.

and I feel trapped, I feel short-sighted and dumb because I don't aspire to SUPPOSEDLY gReAt (🙄) things.

I don't like attention, I don't like speaking in public, I don't like blood and germs and numbers. And I don't like classrooms and stressfull deadlines and entitled teachers.

that's me @ everything said above!

First of all, I had to open two tumblr tabs to answer and keep track of what you're saying at the same time !!

So let's go at it one idea at a time. I'd first like to congratulate you on the sense of awareness that you have, you seem to be pretty mature and woke for your age. I am impressed. Allahuma barik lakee :)

There is a point where you said "and zero chances at having a well-paid one" - umm , not necessarily. I know you've heard this a billion times before but Bill Gates doesn't have a college degree and that's a fact. But yes, I see your point, I hear you. IT's just that in these crazy times we live in, people can make crazy money out of vlogs on youtube so, and Influencers get paid higher than doctors. Just saying.

The second paragraph where you were describing that you're a straight A student (we use numerics too dw) that was as if written by me! I FEEL you sis! I was like that all my school life even tho I had school phobia and high anxiety. and it's so earnest that you're trying to justify that they don't punish you for bad marks, but your anxiety could come from something else, fast forward a few lines, I found my answer "it was the only part of me mom praised me for" :)

Umm, excuse me "now I am to discover it was all luck" *face palm* - because I can"t put emojis I am using the laptop

As Muslims, we know better than to believe in luck or coincidence, thank you!! But also, even if you believed in luck, it could have never gotten you this far, boo. Please give yourself enough credit, it wasn't luck it was your brains, your intelligence and your hard work. But now you're just tired, frustrated, burntout, and almost every other adjective on the list, you name it. And yes, you are so very right saying the educational system is bad, it is actually destructive, outdated, exclusive, it does not take into consideration students with learning difficulties or special needs, it is designed as one prototype, one box, one model, you either fit in or you're 'stupid' - it doesn't even encompass or understand the different types of intelligence. Trust me, I know what I am talking about, I am both a teacher and a student at the same time, and I am exhausted on both plans. I am currently taking a leave from work because teaching has become the most stressful and anxiety provoking thing in my life, it only fueled my depression and only 3 weeks into the new academic year I was done. So, I know what you're talking about my dear, I promise. You know I went through high school with flying colors, but on my very first year in college, I got 6/20 in the first trimester and then I dropped out, lmao. I would never say that was luck that got me through school and I would never say I got lazy afterwards, it's happens in the head, it was depression, and frustration of expectations vs. reality, it was burnout, etc.

Moving on, the paragraph where you described the things you want out of this life, that was so beautiful. But, you're not the only one, it reminded me of the asks I get from the cute anon who writes in many colors (especially orange), she always talks about things like that :')

May Allah swt grant you and all girls of this ummah the peace of mind and the sakinah of the heart, may Allah swt puts our worries to rest, and grant our tired hearts their wishes. May Alkah swt give us the strength and patience to overcome these modern-day fitnahs, may Allah swt protect the kindness, softness, gentlness, and purity of our hearts, ameen.

Don't you dare blame yourself habibty, and don't you beat yourself up for what you're going through. I sense lots of self-loathing and guilt tripping in your ask. You are your own best friend my dear, if you turn your back on her, blame her, be tough on her, she can never be okay. The world is cruel enough, hard enough on us, we don't need to be hard on ourselves.

I wish I had more tangible solutions, but I'd just say, be patient with yourself, rely on Allah swt for He is ar-razzaq, He swt will open your heart and your mind to knowledge again, and grant you success in shaa Allah. Take it easy my dear, one day at a time, one project at a time, one deadline at a time, one exam at a time.. nothing lasts forever, and soon enough you'll get through this, I promise. Allahu al'mustaan.

Stay safe, beautiful. Fi Aman Allah.

[ack3rlady]

Liza you got me all soft with these questions :')

Tagging: Whoever wants to join in!!

Who are you self shipping?

-> Erwin x Mia

1 Are you working out together this morning?

-> I am NOT a morning person. So, Erwin usually wakes up super early for his morning runs and I go for mine in the evening. Sometimes when he feels like sleeping in, *cough* Mondays *cough*, he'll change his routine to match mine. We do Yoga together on weekend mornings though.

2 Breakfast in bed? Who makes it/what is made?

-> Talk about non-romantic. We're both strict when it comes to eating in bed because crumbs drive me insane and my temper drives him insane. Breakfast in bed is only limited to birthdays and anniversaries :')

3 They're in a hurry and you're off, how do you help them get ready?

-> He prefers getting ready by himself - his clothes need to look a certain way and hair needs to be set perfectly. So, nothing for me to do there. So I'll just keep his wallet, phone, keys, lunchbox, air-pods and myself in sight for when he's ready to dash.

4 You leave a note in their lunchbox, what does it say?

-> I mean, its me we're talking about. So it'll obviously be a nonsensical joke like - "Why did the chicken cross the street? So that it could die and get filled into this sandwich. Love you! :)" Just something to make him smile

5 You fell asleep last night and are finishing the tv show/movie in bed. What are you watching?

-> We have days assigned for our TV needs to avoid fights, since our tastes in entertainment are quite different. If its his day, then probably a murder mystery or a documentary that I didn't agree to watch in the first place. If its my day, then its a silly k-drama that I forced him to watch for inspiration.

6 Lazy morning! Who finally gets up first and why?

-> Him. Always him. He tries to get me to get out of bed with him. But I'm say, "You go wash up first and then I'll wake up". Then when he's out, I buy more time by saying, "I obviously can't go to the bathroom right after you. Don't wanna die from the toxic fumes." He's given up on me by now and comes back to bed to cuddle for another couple of hours.

7 Who takes the longest in the bathroom? Does the other person care?

-> We both take a similar amount of time. Its the main reason why we got a double vanity. Now we just work around each other.

8 You get on the computer together to look up videos. What are you watching?

-> 90% of the time, they will be silly cat videos. 8% - researching travel destinations, 2% - its him watching "did you know" videos on full volume like a typical dad.

9 What type of puzzle do you sit around and complete together? (crossword, jigsaw, sudoku, etc)

->We love solving jigsaw. We're currently in the middle of putting together, a 2000 piece view of Boston. We used to do crossword. But his general knowledge is far stronger than mine and I get bitter when he solves it all in 37 seconds without leaving anything for me. So, we don't do that together anymore.

10 Back to movies/tv, you're having a marathon! Pick a series!

-> We have binged more on Criminal Minds than we'd like to admit. And now we're paranoid everywhere we go :')

11 You have to go outside! What chore do you do together?

-> Well, we always run errands together. But if its a leisurely outing, we're heading to the park for kayaking, followed by a quiet lunch. Then we spend the evening at a farmers' market or an art exhibit.

12 It's your day off together and your phone is ringing. Who is it, what do they want, and how do you respond?

-> 90% probability - its my mom. I NEED her to hang up, but she and Erwin are super close and won't stop chatting.

-> 10% probability - its work. Erwin understands the importance and won't be mad if I have to spend some time working on something they urgently need.

13 You're up first and dancing around the kitchen. What do they do when they wake up and see?

-> Watches quietly for a while to see if I notice him. Clicks a few pictures to come back to on a stressful day. Interrupts me by acting surprised that I woke up before him (I'm surprised too). Switches the song to a slow one and joins me in dancing :)

14 You're daydreaming together about your next vacation. Tell us about it!

-> We live bang in the middle of the city. So we're always craving a getaway that'll take us close to nature. We've been to cabins in the mountains, by lakes, condos near beaches. Next up is camping with our friends at the Crater Lake national park in Oregon. Lots of kayaking, swimming, barbecue, star gazing, bird watching.

15 Reading in bed together! Do you have a newspaper, book, magazine...? Do they have the same?

-> We start off with our own books. Eventually, I put mine down and snuggle up to him as he reads to me. If he's had a bad day, he loves it when i read to him. He usually falls asleep that way :)

Mornings with your self ship

In no particular order!

Who are you self shipping?

1 Are you working out together this morning?

2 Breakfast in bed? Who makes it/what is made?

3 They're in a hurry and you're off, how do you help them get ready?

4 You leave a note in their lunchbox, what does it say?

5 You fell asleep last night and are finishing the tv show/movie in bed. What are you watching?

6 Lazy morning! Who finally gets up first and why?

7 Who takes the longest in the bathroom? Does the other person care?

8 You get on the computer together to look up videos. What are you watching?

9 What type of puzzle do you sit around and complete together? (crossword, jigsaw, sudoku, etc)

10 Back to movies/tv, you're having a marathon! Pick a series!

11 You have to go outside! What chore do you do together?

12 It's your day off together and your phone is ringing. Who is it, what do they want, and how do you respond?

13 You're up first and dancing around the kitchen. What do they do when they wake up and see?

14 You're daydreaming together about your next vacation. Tell us about it!

15 Reading in bed together! Do you have a newspaper, book, magazine...? Do they have the same?

This is very random but I hope you have fun!

tagging: @levisbrat25 @hauntedhousecat @sckerman @levi-supreme @nelapanela94 @ack3rlady @m-jelly @yakaaamoz @whattheheckmidoriya @chaotic-nick @happybird16

If this isn't your thing no worries! Anyone who wants to do this go for it! My answers below the cut :)

Who are you self shipping?

Levi

1 Are you working out together this morning?

Ugh, maybe? Just a little, probably not. Might do some living room stretches. Easy yoga and meditation.

2 Breakfast in bed? Who makes it/what is made?

I want to make it but he won't let me. I get muesli with lots of berries, and wheat toast with peanut butter. He joins me with his own and brings the tea.

3 They're in a hurry and you're off, how do you help them get ready?

I'll pick out some clothes for him while he's showering, start his tea and pack a lunch for him. Tell him not to worry about the clean up or anything and get him out on time. He promises to make dinner later.

4 You leave a note in their lunchbox, what does it say?

Something about how much he means to me. Maybe like, "life with you is all I've ever wanted. Thank you for every day together." morning aura note??

5 You fell asleep last night and are finishing the tv show/movie in bed. What are you watching?

A drama series like Timeless or Manifest. We have to stop so I can ask questions sometimes. I missed half the episode last night so we're starting it over.

6 Lazy morning! Who finally gets up first and why?

Usually it's him so chores can get done. Today, I will. I want Levi to take it easy for once. After hitting the bathroom (the real reason I had to get up) I'll start things like wash and make a grocery list, asking for Levis input. He'll get up soon to shower and help continue chores.

7 Who takes the longest in the bathroom? Does the other person care?

Oh it's me! I don't mean to though, I'm just slow in the mornings. If I'm in the shower Levi will come right in and do what he needs to, sometimes join me in the shower to conserve water, at least that's what he says. I should just let him go first, but neither of us mind sharing the bathroom.

8 You get on the computer together to look up videos. What are you watching?

DIY videos for tips and ideas for the house. Looking to change some things around but would like to do it ourselves. And am up for things we've never thought about, like turning our old headboard into a coat rack and organizer. We also like funny cat videos.

9 What type of puzzle do you sit around and complete together? (crossword, jigsaw, sudoku, etc)

We're doing the weekend crossword. I'm great at entertainment and some random things, Levi is very smart and gets most things and we plug in anything else!

10 Back to movies/tv, you're having a marathon! Pick a series!

We're doing an I Love Lucy marathon! I laugh so hard and he chuckles pretty good most of the time, especially the banter between Fred and Ethel.

11 You have to go outside! What chore do you do together?

We're line drying clothes and pulling up weeds from the garden! He never complains about helping with laundry and we tend to line dry when we can to save energy and for freshness. And we both like keeping the garden nice so our produce stays healthy! We'll be picking some soon!

12 It's your day off together and your phone is ringing. Who is it, what do they want, and how do you respond?

Erwin calls me because he needs something for work from Levi who has shut his phone off. Levi takes the phone and gives 2 minutes to the situation then says it's his weekend and he'll see him tomorrow.

13 You're up first and dancing around the kitchen. What do they do when they wake up and see?

Levi is smiling from the side and let's me do my thing, scaring me after he asks if he should come back later after a few minutes. Leaves me giggling with lots of kisses, telling me how adorable I am.

14 You're daydreaming together about your next vacation. Tell us about it!

I'm actually going to pick Alaska cruise tour. We like the cooler weather. 7 days on land, 7 on sea, everything planned for us basically. We'll stay in Denali the longest to make sure to get all the touristy stuff in and hike a bit. Pick the one with the comfortable train ride to the boat and upgrade to first class. Decide to get a balcony so we can see the ocean away from others and spot a few whales. Levi probably takes lots of pictures of me and I force him into a few. Do the fancy sit down dinner most nights but I talk him into the buffet and he says he'll watch to make sure people are being clean. Take daily afternoon naps and go the the shows later. Go kayaking in peaceful Sitka and meet the sled dogs in Juneau. Levi is excited for all the hot tea we'll be offered. We're going to need a vacation AFTER our vacation!

15 Reading in bed together! Do you have a newspaper, book, magazine...? Do they have the same?

A book or magazine for me. I interrupt his book reading with a 'rate your mate' quiz from the magazine and we end up laughing at the questions and answers.

-----------------

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Who are you self shipping?

Jean

1 Are you working out together this morning?

Probably going for a mile run. He wants to stretch beforehand and I know we should but I hate it! Makes the last bit a race and gives me a head start. I still can't beat him. One day!

2 Breakfast in bed? Who makes it/what is made?

Breakfast is this mans favorite (and mine!) so I get the best veggie omelet and a bowl of chopped fruit. He makes another omelet for himself and steals some of my fruit.

3 They're in a hurry and you're off, how do you help them get ready?

I make him a smoothie and get his lunch together. Also make sure his keys and wallet are in the same place so he can grab everything and go. He can never find his keys for some reason.

4 You leave a note in their lunchbox, what does it say?

Something positive about what a great job he's doing. Something like, "things aren't always easy, but I love watching you succeed."

5 You fell asleep last night and are finishing the tv show/movie in bed. What are you watching?

A cooking show like Master Chef. We love our cooking shows and neither of us could make it to the second commercial.

6 Lazy morning! Who finally gets up first and why?

It's him because he wants to make sure we get a little something to eat. Once he's up though he's up for the day and playfully makes the bed around me while I try to get him back in with me. But the smell of food gets me up.

7 Who takes the longest in the bathroom? Does the other person care?

It's both of us. I'm slow and he just has a lot to do, so we share the mirror and sometimes do skincare treatment together and if one of us is in the shower keep asking "are you almost done yet?" If the answer is no, one can expect company :)

8 You get on the computer together to look up videos. What are you watching?

Grocery hauls! We like eating healthy (most of the time) and like to get ideas and work around what we already have. Also, reaction videos to popular music videos.

9 What type of puzzle do you sit around and complete together? (crossword, jigsaw, sudoku, etc)

A 500 piece jigsaw puzzle it is! We might not get it all done in one go, but we get it done eventually. We try to make color piles and of course tackle the outside first.

10 Back to movies/tv, you're having a marathon! Pick a series!

We're having a Disney marathon and both love it! We pick non princess movies today like Robin Hood, Sword and the Stone, and 101 Dalmatians!

11 You have to go outside! What chore do you do together?

Not so much a chore, but our doggy has to go out so we walk him together. Since it's not a hot day once we get back we wash the windows and get into a water hose fight.

12 It's your day off together and your phone is ringing. Who is it, what do they want, and how do you respond?

Sasha is calling wanting to know if we want to hang out with the gang later. We tell her probably and we'll call in a bit and depending on the time, go back to bed a while and show up after spending most of the day by ourselves.

13 You're up first and dancing around the kitchen. What do they do when they wake up and see?

Oh this guy! I get whistled at and he claps and thanks me for the show, then comes join me after seeing me blush, and we slow dance for a few minutes before continuing the day.

14 You're daydreaming together about your next vacation. Tell us about it!

We're finally going to Europe! You know we're hitting Italy and if it's possible plan trains to other surrounding countries as well. We want to do all the touristy things but also try to find quiet places to stay that just feel more like we're there than a big name motel. We'll ask the locals the best places to find food and things to do that we might not think of. We're already talking about when we could actually do this.

15 Reading in bed together! Do you have a newspaper, book, magazine...? Do they have the same?

Books for both of us! He's got a true crime book and wants to tell me about it but I don't want nightmares! I have another book in my anthology series. We try to read for 20 minutes a day usually.

[raybansandcoffee]

Thank you for that reply! People often think I'm being a baby or lazy cause I just wanna sleep but in reality I can barely function my head hurts so bad. Its hard not to have energy to do basic things. Regular ibuprofen also never works -- I take it for cramps sometimes. Do you have any tips you don't mind sharing?

I’m happy to share some of the things that I do or have tried. I’ll share with you tips but if you want any details on the different treatments I’ve tried (botox, acupuncture, different pain injections, etc.) I’m happy to give you info on that too, just ask :). My neurologist is super non-traditional and has tried a lot of different things with me, not all of them have worked but he’s always willing to try which is incredibly helpful.

So my go-to tricks are usually from this list (it’s a big long so it is after the jump but because every migraineur is different I want to let you know why they work for me in case you have a different symptom - I’d hate for my suggestions to make a migraine worse):

- Dark cool room: I have had black out curtains which are AMAZING! They help keep the room cool which is always helpful to me. I have my air conditioning cranked right now because it’s been hot and humid here all week. We were in the midst of a heat wave which was NOT my friend. I have a lot of light sensitivity so I try to have the room as dark as possible. If I can’t get it dark I wear sunglasses if I need to function and see or a sleep mask if I don’t.

- Ice Packs: Some people say heat helps them, I find it does the opposite. Because migraines are technically a vascular headache the blood vessels leading to your brain expand, heat makes that worse. I have a variety of sizes from the kind that goes over your eyes to one that is basically like a velcro headband that can put pressure on my head while applying ice around the entire thing - It’s amazing! I also have one that is large enough that it can cover most of my back, so I use it on my shoulders and neck. My pain radiates from my left temple/top of my left head down into my neck and shoulder. And then they all just feed into each other.

- Water!: I don’t drink nearly enough but I also can’t stress how important it is. Evie’s experience at the neurologist being dehydrated is based on personal experience for me, unfortunately so was the panic attack that followed. I tend to get dehydrated easily when I’m sick. The case that I was basing Evie’s experience off of involves a prescription for prednisone pills that tapered off throughout a week. No matter how much water I drink if I’m on steroid pills I end up dehydrated and awake for like 72 hours. I have tiny veins, to begin with, so the bruises from that IV were HUGE. It’s important to make sure you drink as many fluids as possible (water, sports drinks, juices). I do have an app called My Water that I have a notification on that goes off every 30 minutes that reminds me to drink water, it can be set from every 15 minutes to every few hours all at your discretion. It pushes notifications to my Apple Watch as well which is helpful and has been wonderful the last two weeks as I’ve gone through this rough patch. It wakes me up just enough to take a few drinks.

- Caffeine and Sugar: I have had a variety of doctors have a variety of opinions on this but it works for me. I love coffee (thus the raybansandcoffee username) but I have had to cut back over the years because too much caffeine can be a trigger. But when a migraine is coming caffeine and sugar can help me kick the medicine into gear faster. I have a hard time with the over-the-counter migraine medications though most of them have caffeine in them. I take prescription strength naproxen (Aleve) along with Imitrex and an anti-nausea medication at the onset of a migraine. I had a friend who was in nursing school test a theory on me. I’m a Diet Coke addict. It’s my life. Fake sugar is also a migraine trigger for me, though Diet Coke has never caused problems on its own, it’s things with a higher amount of fake sugar mainly aspartame (NutraSweet). She told me to start drinking regular Mt. Dew at the onset of a headache and it sort of helped. I switched the energy drinks I use, stopped using sugar substitutes in coffees because NutraSweet itself would cause a headache. Sucralose or Splenda hasn’t caused as many issues with me which is the sugar substitute used in syrups at Starbucks, I had a friend that was a barista research that for me. I tend to avoid the substitutes just to be safe, my brain likes it, my waistline maybe doesn’t, haha.

- Sleep: I know that’s obvious and sometimes hard to achieve. Often times the pain is bad enough that you are left awake from it and the caffeine in the over-the-counter medications. If your migraines involve a lot of nausea I suggest asking a doctor for an anti-nausea medication, mine also helps me sleep which helps relieve the pain. If you don’t like prescriptions or don’t have access to health insurance Benadryl is a great alternative. My anti-nausea is an antihistamine that is a stronger medication than Benadryl but often times if I need to be awake early the next day for work I substitute it. Benadryl’s active ingredient is used to treat nausea and vomiting due to motion sickness and has worked well for me, it also is a sleep aid. Follow the directions on ANY medication I suggest and always, always, ALWAYS talk to your primary care physician or nurse because I am not a medical professional just a person with a lot of history with migraines.

- A good old fashioned orgasm: Yup, it sounds weird and every movie and TV show with a wife who ‘had a headache’ is lying…sort of. The orgasm is the key to it, haha and unfortunately that’s not always guaranteed. So whether it’s through sex or self-pleasure sometimes it works. I know my body well enough to know if sex is going to make it better or worse and when it makes it worse it makes it A LOT worse. The dude in my life flat out refuses to try and help in that manner because there were a few occasions where it made it worse and we went from being happy and snuggly after a round of good sex to me on the floor of his bedroom in the fetal position. That’s not a sexy thing to do, trust me. Haha. It’s a risk that I’m not usually willing to take anymore because of that. But I have friends who swear by it so I have to put it out there.

- Massage therapy and aromatherapy: Always be open with the therapist that you have migraines and let them know if you currently have one. I have gotten massages for about 3 or 4 years as part of my care. Either to prevent or relieve. Hot stones can be amazing but I have to be careful as does the therapist. If it’s too hot or too close to my neck it can cause an increase in pain. Cool stones can do a lot to relieve the pain I experience behind my eyes. A lot of massage therapists use aromatherapy, be careful if you have scent issues like I do you need to make sure that it’s not something that will aggravate your migraines. I’ve found safe scents for me are lavender and peppermint. Peppermint can work wonders when it comes to nausea too so I suggest keeping a roll on of that in a purse or backpack. I have one that is a blend specifically for migraines that I bought on Amazon that I used to keep in my desk at work when I was in a traditional office.

- Find support: This is the hardest one. I am lucky that I have family who is loving and caring and a few of them have a history with this shitty condition. It took a while for them to understand just how bad they would get and a lot of people, friends and family, thought it was an excuse and that I just didn’t want to go to work. It took them noticing the signs with me and seeing me fight through a lot of it to realize that I wasn’t lying. The key physical sign for me is my pupils dilate and get super huge…on my right side. My left side is trying to compensate for the pain my brain is in as well as the sensitivity to light and gets small. Yup, I have unevenly dilated pupils, it’s creepy and weird and sometimes I look like a drug addict. But once they were able to see the signs I’d have my brother or a parent say ‘how’s your head feeling’ because they’d see how huge my pupils had gotten. My friends learned to understand that when I was well I’d be there for them without question and happy to go out and have fun but if I wasn’t I did the bare minimums in life. I worked and slept. I found a counselor that was willing to listen to me about all of the things going on in my life and help me talk through some of my anxieties as well as how to approach life and new situations when my migraines cause problems. I am on my third neurologist but he is amazing! It took a lot of trial and error to find what would work for me but he kept trying. It’s also nice to know a few fellow migraineurs because we can compare notes and keep each other upbeat when the days get long…I mean fuck I’m approaching 16 days in a row with migraines. If I didn’t have a community of people to support me and a few to listen and not say “Have you tried going gluten free it worked for me and I used to get like 3 migraines a year” - on a side note I’d rather have a migraine every day than give up gluten, we all make life decisions that is mine. Haha. I am never going to tell someone I know what will work for them because what works for me doesn’t work for others and vice versa. 

So if you don’t have any friends who also experience then know you can ALWAYS come to me. I will listen, offer advice where necessary and requested, and just be here to listen if you need someone to. If you don’t want to share it publicly feel free to PM me off anon and let me know that you don’t want it public and we can communicate back and forth that way. I also have my messages turned on so you can do that as well. Hell if you want my email or my KIK I’ll hand it over. It’s tough to find support when you’re always afraid people are going to judge you, think you’re lazy or in the case of the last week of my life a junkie who just wants drugs. You can also follow my main blog @iowagirlwrites. I tend to blog a little bit more about my health conditions (chronic migraines, anxiety, depression and a history with agoraphobia) over there. I also try and find humor in my migraines and often blog there about that too. I don’t want to overwhelm my readers here with a lot of bummery stuff but I also want them to know that I’m human and I go through shit and that I’m always willing to talk. I’m much older than a lot of my readers as I’m in my early 30s (what can I say Harry is cute and won me over easily when he was a wee 19-year-old). I’ve been through a lot of what my readers are going through and survived. So I am always here for them, sort of like a big sister or friend or something. I didn’t have a lot of people to turn to when I went through the worst of my health so I want people to know they can come to me. 

I hope something I’ve suggested helps you. If you have something you’re thinking about shoot it over and I’ll let you know if I’ve tried it and how it worked for me. I hope your migraines don’t give you too much crap.

But know I’m going to take something to try and get rid of my migraine or at least put me to sleep until morning.

xx AM.