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#but maybe it is best to continue to stick to my mediocre digital art. traditional is clearly not for me
myname-isnia · 9 months
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I had a moment of weakness and now regret it terribly because it has turned into just A Moment which means if I don’t get out of my head right now I will be miserable for the rest of the evening
#I was overcome with the sudden urge to paint#mind you I have not picked up a paintbrush since June#and before that since November#and so. of course. was very quickly and very rudely reminded that I am Not A Painter#the thing is… it was going fine until the paint became involved#I just… no matter how many classes I’ve taken in my life I never know how to handle paints#or colouring pencils. or markers. or anything#it’s like the second colour comes into the picture#it gets ruined#.. I don’t know. maybe I’m just shoving square pegs into round holes#I get insanely inspired when looking at paintings and I want to be able to do that too#but time and time again it has been proven that I’m not meant to be a painter#I don’t even know why I’m still clinging to drawing in general. considering I’ve hit a plateau and haven’t taken any steps towards improving#but maybe it is best to continue to stick to my mediocre digital art. traditional is clearly not for me#can you believe I once genuinely thought I was gonna go to art school?#i don’t know how I ever managed to convince myself of that. I’m useless at art#my area of expertise is pretty girls from the waist up facing a little to the side#I can do that. I’m good at that#anything else? out of luck#and yet I don’t work on branching out or trying to improve at all. I just sit here and whine#over and over again. day in and day out. I come on here and complain#and do nothing to fix what I’m complaining about. I’m doing it right now#how does anyone put up with me? I’m insufferable#I make myself sick
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