#but maybe a second opinion from someone who’s been diagnosed is a bit more valuable than you think it is

[paranormeow7]

steaming hot take but there are just some things self diagnosed people just can’t talk over professionally diagnosed people about

[inanawesomewave]

LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR AS THYSELF

Since as long as I can remember, I’ve known I’ve had a reduced empathy response. I haven’t known how to really identify it or explain it to people, but I’ve been aware of this palpable nothingness, this heavy chunk of non-depressed void I’ve mentioned before, as if the strings that connect me to the people in the world around me are gossamer-thin, or that my sense of how I relate to other people’s feelings is like how the world looks through a frosted glass window. I know that this feeling or sense that I have regarding others is not distressing, but displaced. Freud coined the term “uncanny” in 1919 to describe the eerie humanness and yet divorcement from reality of dolls and waxworks, and I think that word perfectly fits. How I feel about my relationship to the feelings and thoughts of other people is uncanny. 

 So there’d been signs throughout childhood that maybe something was up with my empathy response, now I look back, but then again, what children are exceptionally empathetic, and not completely self-interested? It was only when I hit adulthood did people start saying that word to me, empathy empathy empathy, like it was some tangible thing other people were holding in their hands and I had carelessly dropped somewhere along the line, and when people in my life said the word “empathy” to describe what they had, it became one of those instances where if you say a word over and over again in a short space of time, it’s uncanny how that word loses its meaning entirely. I was diagnosed at the age of 20, and people had asked me questions about how I felt about the feelings of others before, but I can remember two specific instances where the word was levelled against me, one of them friendly, one of them hostile. 

 The first time, I was 20, and it was shortly after my diagnosis. I was enjoying lunch at my friend’s house, he too had been diagnosed with ASPD some seven years before me, and had spent his life skirting closer to the archetype of psychopath than me, and I was talking to him about troubles my boyfriend and I were having at the time. I remember how off-handedly he said it: “well he’s autistic and you have no empathy”. You have no empathy. I wasn’t offended, but nobody had said it like that before. When I asked him to explain, he went into how it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing and may have been a survival instinct worth taking some pride in, but I remember him too saying the phrase: “you’re not there”. 

 The second time was years later, I was 26, and a friend of mine was complaining to me down the phone that she’d been feeling lonely, as a lesbian dominatrix living in a rural village, she realised finding anything even closely resembling exactly what she was looking for was seeming more and more like an impossible task, she was ready to stop looking entirely. I listened and I cared, I wondered that this seemed like a worrisome state of affairs for her, I said the right things, I said: “that must be awful, I’m sorry”, and just as when I always say that, I do believe I mean it. I’m not personally sorry, but I know it’s a thing people say, and I’m happy to say it (so long as I don’t think too hard about why the hell it is I’m apologising for something I have no control over and putting myself in a subservient position in order to make someone else feel validated or whatever, no big deal). I did my bit. Later that evening I got speaking to a submissive woman I knew looking for a dominatrix herself, and asked me if I might want to do it. I called my friend on the phone to share the great news, and there she said it: “have you no empathy?”. I didn’t understand. I’d done my bit, said the words, apologised for whatever reason, what was her problem? Her problem was that I had seemingly called to brag about effortlessly achieving something that she craved to the point of loneliness and depression. I didn’t understand. That was not my intention. Again, a year or so later on the phone, she said to me: “put simply, you’re often just not there, and you might never be there, but that’s okay”. 

 Not there. Interesting. 

I thought last night about what a lack of empathy really looks like, if anyone really knows. We only talk about a lack of empathy within the context of abuse; people will only identify a lack of empathy if that lack has shown itself in an audacious display of cruelty that could only thrive in an environment where the aggressor does not, can not, will not, put themselves in the victim’s shoes. It makes sense, the only reason you’d really hurt someone is because you don’t know what it feels like to be that hurt, right? You can’t feel the pain you’re inflicting upon them so why not? It seems we only believe in a lack of empathy when that lack is a pre-requisite for sadism, the only way it could ever present itself is destructively. And maybe I thought that too, until last night when I realised it’s something else entirely a lot of the time.

All my life I’ve been called thoughtless. I can’t count the amount of times my mother has said to me, “I know you weren’t trying to be malicious but you just don’t think, do you?” from childhood to the present day. I’ve been accused of off-handed callousness, indirect narcissism, the effortlessness of this lack has seemed offensive to others; off-colour, uncanny. 
But that’s what reduced empathy looks like. 
 It’s not necessarily hurting people because you can’t feel their pain. Lack of empathy doesn’t have to implicate a lack of compassion, or a lack of a basic morality system. A lack of empathy is when you say all the right things, you listen, you offer to help when someone says they need help and how, you stay up to talk with a friend who needs to talk — but you simply don’t think. You watch people you love go through mental breakdowns, but you hadn’t noticed that’s what was happening, or you recoded their behaviour into attack, so you didn’t address it. You would have if you’d known, but you didn’t know. It was a wholly frustrating experience. You didn’t think. 
It’s watching a person’s negative behaviour and because you can’t work out why they’re acting like that, you develop a low opinion of them. Maybe trauma made them that way, maybe they just went through a distressing life event, but you haven’t heard them say the words that connect those dots for you, so you assume they don’t need you and so you don’t offer yourself up because that would be a waste of everyone’s time and energy, and therefore you’re even doing them a favour by not imposing yourself. They did need you, but they didn’t know to ask. You’d understand that if you could empathise because you’ve been exactly where they are now and you know exactly how it is you’d like to have been treated so if you made the connection, you’d be invaluable to them. But you didn’t make the connection. You got bored of them. You got frustrated at them. You didn’t think. 
It’s going through a traumatic experience with another person, but the trauma for you carried a little more weight or had more personal significance, so therefore in your mind the other person then did not endure a trauma. It’s not like you acknowledged their pain but discounted it because it seemed petty in the shadow of your own hulking great distress, you just didn’t acknowledge it. It didn’t register. You’re not trying to steal focus or grab attention, but you’re still making demands on that other person because you’ve suffered more, and therefore you’ve suffered exclusively. It’s not that you want them to hurt because that would make you feel better about your own pain, it’s that you couldn’t equate their experience to your own because your subjective experience had a different colour and shape, so you couldn’t make that connection. You ran out of steam, you got frustrated. You simply did not think. And you think you’re doing other people a favour in letting them live in the way that you live; I don’t like to be bothered by other people’s problems so I won’t bother you with mine and then we’re all happy, but you know something really weird about this uncanny affair? People like to be bothered by their friends’ problems. People like to feel purposeful and needed, and empathy is the key to that door. 



What I’m attempting to deduce here is yes, a lack of empathy comes in extremely handy when you want to hurt someone, actually it comes in a couple of steps before even deciding you want to hurt someone, it’s the thing that gives you the idea in the first place. But that’s its malignant function. As sociopaths we can learn how to say and do all the right things: oh god that must be awful, is there anything I can do? I’m so sorry you had to go through this. And to a large extent we mean them — we really would do the things we are asked to do if it meant someone we care about would be happier. But that’s not empathy, that’s simply following instruction. The empathy isn’t in the performance or the task at all. The empathy is preempting what that person needs and offering it before they had to ask, it’s removing the element of performance away from the person in need. Empathy is instinctively knowing what the person is going through, and magically being able to link it to something you too have felt in the past in a flash, and feel a twinge for them that urges you to help. It’s not asking and doing, it’s knowing. And I wondered if that would ever come easily to me, or if I was doomed to a life of finding creative ways to ask other people to give me the cues required for me to seem like a highly-functioning and valuable member of society without forcing them to ask, and I thought perhaps not, and that was okay. And then, in the small hours, I was feeding my baby son and a loud noise startled him and caused him to unlatch from me and begin to cry to himself, and I watched his face change from contentment to despair within moments and I knew what that felt like, that tiredness and that resignation, and I held him close. He yawned, and I instinctively yawned in return. He’s helpless and needs me. I realised I love to be needed like this. 
In that moment, we were both here. So some door has opened somewhere.

[datinglove07-blog-blog-blog]

Dating anxiety, need help? - GirlsAskGuys

New Post has been published on https://onlinedatingloves.com/trending/dating-anxiety-need-help-girlsaskguys/

Dating anxiety, need help? - GirlsAskGuys

Recently I came across a guy who was interested and I wasn’t before because I said it would never happen. We had conversation and after a few weeks I woke up with a feeling in my stomach. I was so frustrated at myself and now I sleep at night thinking of him no matter what I do. I have anxiety because I don’t want to get hurt and he hasn’t shown me any red flags the month we’ve gotten to know one another.

I had two crying episodes because I’m falling for him by the second, I’m receiving no answers on what to do next, and I can’t take it anymore and it’s weighing heavy on me. I need all the advice I can get because anxiety is no fun at all

Seems to me you regret rejecting him.

There are missing pieces to this puzzle and something that I need you and all women to understand.

Healthy heterosexual men and women; can’t just be friends for extended periods of time.

You haven’t at all indicated your general level of attraction towards him only that you now have anxiety.

Now, I’m going to go out on a limb, but that regret you feel may not be due to infatuation in the since of typical attraction.

This guy gave you attention, security, someone to talk to and possibly emotional support through all of it the time you’ve been talking. You can’t help but feel you should reciprocate that or that you’ve burned a bridge.

The anxiety affecting you now is, possibly your fear of losing him as you said he hasn’t displayed any red flags which means that could possibly be a big chunk of positivity in your life. Essentially, he is emotional validation.

So I—we need to know in definite words how you feel about him and now how you feel because of him.

The only bit I gleaned is that you are falling for him.

Anxiety is a serious issue. One not to be taken lightly. Because of past experiences you definitely want to protect yourself. But we do have feelings and emotions and they at times rears its head. Since you’re preoccupied with this notion and feeling, you have to trust yourself. If you cannot weigh everything to your satisfaction insecurity curiosity etc it will consume you. You have to put your best foot forward and trust you are the best judge of character by being you and not holding back. If you are all you say you are then if they are true to themselves it will come out. By being all of you with every nuance behavior mannerisms etc if they cannot deal with you then they cannot deal with themselves. It’s not what’s wrong with you on the contrary its what’s right with you. Everything requires work. Nothing is easy even when you think it is it requires time and effort. Once motivation drive interest and lack of agreement on many issues by not seeing eye to eye gives you enough information to proceed or not. We have hearts love compassion and so on. But if they like you they will go out of their way all the time. If that interests even dips there’s a reason. Communication is detrimental to survival and longevity. You should be able to talk about anything and if you can’t you can’t grow. Even at a snail’s pace everything grows if not then it just stands still.

0|0

Frankly, here is what I can offer. I think you need to be brave (and only you can be brave enough to stand tall, even when inside you may feel quite small) and if you have enough courage and you feel ready. Speak to him face-to-face… But, only if you feel comfortable, tell him that you have dating anxiety. Option No. 2: If you are too overwhelmed and anxious, talk it over with your closest and most trusted friend and see what they say.

You are just nerveous, it’s normal especially if you like someone. Don’t try to diagnose yourself with a mental illness.

I went to the doctor already I have anxiety way before this situation.

Well you rejected him so he probably moved on so if u want him you are going to have to put in effort to get him back

What? Look , if you like him then go ahead and do everything to grab him , if you don’t like him then be neutral and pet a dog to relive yourself of all the stress.

Talk to him. Admit the anxiety issues and go from their.

I guess having that anxiety in u on your first date, can at least teach u how it feels for the very first time… i guess after that date, you won’t even stop thinking about it.

If you have dating anxiety, you shouldn’t date… It’s for the best,

I know from personal experience… It will just be awkward

the most common causes of anxiety within relationships/dating are mostly linked to bad history of experiences, as we go through our lives we will meet honest and not so honest people, some will be healthy for us and others will be purely out to get whatever they want to satiate their own needs and not be interested in returning the favour… and bad experiences with the latter will inevitably question any future connection with other people and the severity of that depends on the seriousness of the damage those people caused… if he hasn’t given you any red flags or any reason to doubt him or his intent then talk to him and explain to him how you feel and how you feel about him and the situation and if he cares about you he will understand and be patient with you

Firstly, you’re walking a dangerous line right now lady. Lemme tell you from experience, infatuation while having anxiety is more stressful that it’s worth.

Secondly, I think it’s time for you to take a step back and realize that it isn’t the end of the world. You’re not gonna die or get hurt from being a friend. That’s all you are anyways, friend (in this case, they’re a friend you happen to have a crush on).

Thirdly, talk about your feelings with someone else. Even if they give you crappy advice, at least you won’t have to fight your battle alone. Remember, when it comes to anxiety, you are literally your own worst enemy. Everything you are thinking is just that, a thought, nothing more.

If you figure it out, let me know. I have a friend who is going through this.

it’s normal, fear gives a bad impression to the person you like. keep calm and go on a date.

So you friendzoned a guy and now you want him when you had the opportunity before but didn’t take it? Why should he give you the time of day now? What’s to stop him from friendzoning you the way you did him? If I were him I would. If a woman doesn’t take the opportunity the first time around very seldomly do I give them a second chance and even then I regret it afterwards for them wasting my time. If I were him I wouldn’t even bother. You made your bed now you lie in it. Choke it up as a learning experience and move on with your life

Ok here’s my advice. He needs to run! Not walk. Run as fast as he can away from you. Because you are completely out of your mind.

Pain is a part of life. How you deal with it, is another thing

I’m actually in a similar situation, and you gotta just go for it. Even be open about how you felt before and what’s changed up until now. Just because you weren’t into it the first time around doesn’t mean things/people can’t change. You got this! Just try. The mindset I like to have in this situation is, our time here is limited. People are constantly changing and growing, so when you get an opportunity, don’t think, just do! 🙂 We spend so much time over thinking and analyzing.

Your too obsessed and you need to stop. You are not ready for a relationship, and your reactions are signs of fear, not because you want a relationship with him. You fear that you will NEVER date somebody because of your fears. Listen to what your heart is trying to tell you. There is a reason why you feel like your going to get hurt again. Do what makes you happy right now. There is no rush for you to get into a relationship and into something your not ready for. Do you want to make him miserable because you can’t get it emotionally together? Only you can be responsible for you. He cannot be catering to everything you don’t have unless he wants to. But now he has to be responsible for that. You are in no position to be dating. Dating with all of that baggage and anxiety is a big no-no. You want to that badly, go seek counseling. They cannot help you, but they can give you some guidance into understanding yourself and getting to the root cause of your problems.

0|0

I have same anxiety and just embraced it a month ago. I am a bit busy right now I will share you my experience later. You are not alone in this.

I totally understand that situation, been there myself, it is hard to let someone in your heart and give them the power to hurt you, but then again, relationships and love always involve a risk. It is an integral part of life, living in fear is not living at all so don’t let it control you. You would miss out on so many experiences, good or bad, they are all valuable. You are stronger than that fear, trust me, so go there and chase your happiness. Just live and see what happens. I pushed these bad feelings away, took that leap of faith and have not regretted it even for a second, even if it is not forever, I will be forever grateful for the memories I have made now. 🙂

0|2

I think you need take a chance and tell him and eat crow.

Take some Pepto Bismo and you’ll get over it.

Talk to him about your fears. If he knows what you’re worried about, maybe he’ll understand you better. I think you should go for it 🙂 it sounds like you like this guy. Invite him to coffee or something chill and enjoy your time together.

I hope this helps!

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[qwloapp]

Follow This Simple Article To Learn More About Auto Repair

There is nothing similar to the freedom you feel when you have your own car. You are free to move about the ability to travel almost anyplace at any time you please. This does mean that it could break down at inconvenient times and leave you stranded somewhere. The tips should be used to help you to get your car back on the road.

Check out your mechanic to see if he is A.S.E. certified before allowing him to do any work on your vehicle. This shows that a mechanic has passed a special test for competence and also shows he or she has at least two years experience as a mechanic. This type of mechanic is the best choice for your vehicle.

TIP! Ask for the charge total before giving mechanics your keys. When you’re not sure, ask until you feel clear.

Ask a mechanic any questions about your vehicle. Preventing issues is a valuable skill to save money.

Referrals are one of the best ways to find a reputable auto mechanic. You can ask anyone you trust, from your hairdresser to your family. You can inquire about price, work quality and overall satisfaction. People can tell you what type of experience they had and whether the mechanic was honest or not.

TIP! Keep a record of all the repairs you make on your vehicle. If further issues develop later, the mechanic may want to see the historical documentation of what has already been done.

Regularly check out your radiator’s performance.You need to allow your car to run for a couple of minutes, shut the engine and open your hood. You should never want to open up the radiator of a car is still running. Check radiator fluids using a dipstick and remember to dilute coolant with water before putting it in the radiator.

Check out reviews about body shops online. This can give you a good indication of how satisfied customers are with their work. The information will help locate a local repair shop that you are comfortable with trusting with such an important job.

TIP! If you plan to take your car to the shop, do not leave anything inside the car. To get the job done, mechanics may have to remove your things and if something should end up missing, they cannot be held responsible.

Make sure to have all your car records are kept close. You may want these with you when you go to get repairs done; a great place to store them is the glove compartment. The auto shop will definitely want to look at those records. This can make the problem quicker and more smoothly.

You shouldn’t forget about your wiper blades. If your windshield wipers are not cleaning your windshield probably or if they make a lot of noise, you need to replace them. Wiper blades should be replaced at a minimum of once per year, or more than that if you reside in a particularly wet climate.

TIP! Independent mechanics can be great. If they have auto repair experience they can provide quality work, and they will usually charge you less for labor.

Always keep records each time your car.If you have problems later, it can help the tech see its past records.

Remove fluffy, fun key chains or have it so that your car key can be removed from the bunch. The weight of your keychain can cause problems for your ignition. If your key starts sticking, you need to get new tumblers and no longer use that little troll head keychain!

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Look up your local body shop’s reviews for any business you’re thinking of patronizing. This lets you know how other customers are with their work. You can use online reviews to find an auto repair shop that you are comfortable giving your car.

Your car still needs to be washed during the winter, even though the weather makes it more difficult. Winter is actually the season when your car’s exterior gets the most damage. Road salt and sand cause rust and abrasion. Just be sure that you’re drying your car off before you start to drive around so that ice doesn’t form.

TIP! There are a few shady automotive repair shops who will replace your existing tires with old ones. They are attempting to make money this way.

Never leave any valuables in your car when dropping it off for repairs. Mechanics might have to empty the work and they cannot be held responsible if you discover something missing. You should also remove all the items from your trunk also.

If someone claims the parts they sell last a lifetime, run away. Most of the time this is just a way for them to get their hands on more of your money. One example is that some vehicles say their transmission fluid will last a lifetime. Transmission fluid needs to be changed every 80K miles or so.

TIP! Not that many people take time to read their car’s owner’s manual. Go over this manual and mark the important pages that deal with information on maintaining your vehicle.

Make sure the mechanic you hire knows about your particular car.If you cannot be sure, pay the extra to have a dealer do the repairs.

Original Equipment Manufacturer is the meaning of OEM. Remember this when you need a part replaced on your car. If you let your mechanic know that you only want OEM parts, you’ll appear to be knowledgeable. This means you’re less likely to receive used parts.

TIP! For things that aren’t too difficult to repair, like putting fluids in your car, you should be afraid to take care of these things. You can do these routine maintenance jobs yourself.

Although most auto shops are reliable, you do not want to have to spend some more unnecessary repairs. Look for reputable shops that specialize in your car. These shops are better understanding of what you’re going to need done to your vehicle.

If you want to know how to diagnose problems with your vehicle, then you should learn a few things about its critical components. If you are uneducated on car, you may want to enroll in a class about auto repair. While spending money on a good class might seem counteractive, you should consider how much this can save you in the future when dealing with repairs. It will be easier for you to catch problems before they get out of hand.

TIP! If the mechanic’s hesitant about getting you a written estimate, go elsewhere. You should get a written estimate so that you have proof of what he promised to do.

Just because you have a car that isn’t working, doesn’t mean it will cost you quite a bit of money to repair it. Often, it is possible to repair your car yourself. Apply the tips from this article to keep your vehicle in good shape.

When fixing your car, use a shop that your manufacturer has deemed appropriate. You won’t have to pay anything on some services when using these shops because the warranty on your car will cover them. If you have repairs done elsewhere, that could partially or fully void your warranty.

TIP! Do not get any major repairs done to your vehicle before getting a second professional opinion. The mechanic might get offended, or maybe offer you a deal, however these should be taken as warning signs.

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[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

Celebrating Dad Bloggers - Happy Father's Day!

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/celebrating-dad-bloggers-happy-fathers-day/

Celebrating Dad Bloggers - Happy Father's Day!

Let's be real: when it comes to taking care of kids with diabetes, it can seem like a mom's world. We know that dads love their kids just as much, but sometimes it can seem like moms are the only ones going to doctor's appointments, picking up prescriptions, and negotiating 504 plans. Women also tend to be more comfortable talking about their emotions, so it's no surprise that we have a huge community of D-mom bloggers.

But there are plenty of dads involved in our D-community too! And with Father's Day coming this Sunday, we wanted to spotlight some of these fabulous fathers who are sharing their stories and offering unique perspectives on raising a child with diabetes — and why they think it's important for dads to get in the blogging (or tweeting) game! Please enjoy our "mini-interviews" with highlighted D-dads today:

Red Maxwell, North Carolina

Dad to Miller, 17, and Cassie, 15 (diagnosed at age 18 months)

Blogs at Daddybetes, tweets at @rpmax

DM) Why do you think it's important for fathers to be involved in the diabetes online community?

RM) Moms and daughters and women with diabetes are much better at communicating than dads. I think it's just their nature to be better socially than men. If more dads like me joined the conversation, I think that it would not only help other dads who take care of children with diabetes, it would also let moms know what it's like from our perspective.

What do you personally get out of blogging / tweeting? How has it made an impact in your life?

Blogging and tweeting have helped me share diabetes information that I've stumbled upon or painstakingly researched. Once I learn something, it's nice to be able to help someone else who may be wondering the same thing. I remember feeling so lost and hopeless after Cassie was first diagnosed, and I wished there were better online resources back then.

What does your child with diabetes think of your blogging? Do they think it's cool or do they get embarrassed? Do you have any restrictions for what you blog about?

If I'm posting something that may be sensitive, I'll ask her first before publishing it. One time I wanted to put up a thank you note to her mom that she had written, and she hesitated. I waited a week after she had enough time to think about it, and she gave me her consent. It's not only important to respect your child's right to privacy, you have to respect their wishes too.

Bennet Dunlap, Pennsylvania

Dad to four teens, two with diabetes (diagnosed at age 10 and 7, respectively)

Blogs at YDMV, tweets at @BadShoe

Why did you start blogging about diabetes?

I was involved with a number of diabetes-related forums, ADA, CWD and some others. After our first CWD convention my daughter told me that I should write a blog because she felt I had a different perspective on diabetes — I'm still not sure if it's a good thing to have your kid say you have a 'different perspective.'

Do you think it makes you a better caretaker of your children? If so, how?

Oh hell yes! I think that we are at a point where being a better caretaker is very heavily involved with trusting and supporting the kids steps toward independence. I know that much of my thinking on the importance of that is a direct result of CWD's Friends for Life and some of my fellow bloggers.

What advice do you have for a dad who might be hesitant to start blogging or tweeting?

Blogging and tweeting are not anywhere as significant as being there through diabetes. Joe Solowiejczyk, CDE and guru, often talks about the how easy it is for a CDE to pull a family together for training as an indicator of future success dealing with diabetes. In the most basic terms, does dad show up? So I am less concerned that dads blog or tweet than that they bring the A-game to diabetes. Be involved, go to Friends for Life, know what is up, be dad, embarrass the kids with ugly golf shorts. Social media doesn't matter, as long as dad is not hesitant to deal with diabetes.

That said, I welcome all the crazy dads online. I have friends around the world I have not met. There is the one dude in Texas I would really like to have a few beers with. I welcome more into the ranks!

Steve Gilbert, North Carolina

Dad to John, 20, Krista, 14, and Lia, 9 (diagnosed at age 7)

Blogs at Without Envy

Why did you start blogging about diabetes?

At the time of Lia's diagnosis, I was putting what I thought were the finishing touches on a dramatic novel I was writing. The news sent me into an emotional tailspin that made fiction feel second-rate to the tragedy that was happening here in the real world. So I started writing about diabetes and how it was affecting our family.

What do you get out of blogging / tweeting? How has it made an impact in your life?

Writing is a passion of mine. Before I quit the corporate world to pursue writing full-time (which, by the way, I still am pursuing, sad to say!), I would wake at four in the morning to write. With Lia now having diabetes, I was waking for other, more substantive reasons. And rather than lie in the bed and give those thoughts free, chaotic reign, I corralled them by night and day into what was for me something meaningful and truthful. I felt publishing those efforts on a blog would first and foremost keep me honest about my emotions and just maybe it would put me in touch — which it has — with others who felt the same way.

Do you think it makes you a better caretaker of your children? If so, how?

I don't believe I — or anyone else — needs to blog or write about diabetes to be a good caretaker. In my opinion, health has little to do with tapping into your creativity, unless of course, you are working with science toward treatment or finding a cure. What it does do is give me the means to express and understand how I feel about diabetes, and in particular, how I feel about my daughter and my family in relation to diabetes. Thinking about Lia and diabetes and our family in that raw, truthful way allows me to write honestly, and helps me to understand and appreciate what this disease means to them from their perspective, not just mine.

Tom Karlya, New York

Dad to TJ, 24, Kaitlyn, 21 (diagnosed at age 2), and Robert, 15 (diagnosed at age 13)

Blogs at DiabetesDad, tweets at @Diabetesdad

Why did you start blogging about diabetes?

Two things I remember vividly: First, I felt our experiences, even though more personal than strictly coming from a medical professional, could be just as valuable to another family going through what we went through. The second thing I remember was that I felt an obligation to be part of the process of the same community that was a help to us during the early years and that became the Online Community. We have come so far since that time but it is still people helping people.

What do you get out of blogging / tweeting? How has it made an impact in your life?

The satisfaction that I am making a difference. I feel, personally, that I belong to a community — a community dedicated to helping others. I need to look at myself in the mirror and say I am doing everything I can to both find a cure for my kids and also that I am learning everything I can to help them. In as much as I write online, it is the feedback I receive that empowers me to realize that together we can change the devastation of diabetes into a controllable disease that one day will be eradicated.

Do you think it makes you a better caretaker of your children? If so, how?

Absolutely, the knowledge from the online community is so incredibly useful. It is a live encyclopedia of diabetes information. In addition, if there are any questions, there is always someone online who I can ask, "Hey what do you know about...?" and almost instantaneously a response is given.

Scott Benner, New Jersey

Dad to Cole, 11, and Arden, 7 (diagnosed at age 2)

Blogs at Arden's Day, tweets at @ArdensDay

What do you get out of blogging / tweeting? How has it made an impact in your life?

In the beginning, I was trying to spread awareness. Along the way I realized that my experiences were becoming a sort of roadmap for newly diagnosed families and a comfort to others. It's a relief to know that the issues you experience aren't unique or an indication that you are failing as a parent.

Why do you think it's important for fathers to be involved in the diabetes online community?

There is a real opportunity to gain a male perspective in a situation that is generally female-dominated. If my 40 years on the planet have taught me one thing, it's that men and woman rarely see things the same way. I think multiple perspectives are particularly valuable when managing type 1. It's nice to have an opinion that doesn't mirror your own. Let's face it, woman are mostly responsible for the day-to-day stuff and it's difficult to spend every day with type 1 and then have your spouse come home and start making suggestions. It's tough to take that advice at times. Having other dads involved and sharing is a great way to hear other thoughts without that crazy feeling that you're being judged. Let me tell you, Girls, I understand more than you know. Nothing is easy about raising children and running a household.

What advice do you have for a dad who might be hesitant to start?

If you think that sharing your feelings and experiences is something you'd like to try, I say get to it. I was the type of person who wanted to take care of things on my own. I speak to a lot of mothers on the phone and they all have one thing in common: they're scared. The simple act of allowing yourself to be afraid and then understanding that you aren't the only one that feels these things releases so much anxiety. I hear that my blog helps people quite a bit and it's one of the most rewarding sentiments that I've ever received. If I'm being honest, I get so much more in return than I give. You should blog, even if you only do it a short time. It'll change your experience with all of this diabetes parenting stuff for the better. It'll reward you in ways you can't yet imagine.

Thanks to ALL the dads rocking in the DOC. And we hope you have a wonderful Father's Day, free of D-drama! 🙂

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

Type 2 Diabetes Treatment Type 2 Diabetes Diet Diabetes Destroyer Reviews Original Article

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In Need Of Vehicle Repair? Read This

Both instances can get quite annoying, it is possible to reduce this frustration by utilizing the strategies found in the article below.

Never underestimate how important it is to carrying an emergency kit inside your vehicle. Include a spare tire, a jack, a battery charger and a container full of gas. You may also want to add some batteries, a flashlight and a few blankets in the event that you break down at night.

TIP! Do not be afraid to ask lots of questions whenever you take your vehicle to the auto shop. These questions can involve issues you’re dealing with and what you can do to avoid them in the future.

Battery Charger

Inquire as to whether the mechanic has had previous experience working on your specific vehicle model before. A mechanic who has experience with the make and model you are driving will be able to diagnose issues quickly.

TIP! Before taking your vehicle to an auto repair shop, check out their online reviews. This can give you a good idea about how the public feels and what experience you might have yourself.

Get a reliable battery charger and be sure it is always in your vehicle. Learn to locate the points where the battery charger connects.

Be careful of mechanics who will do unnecessary work on your vehicle. A good mechanic will never perform work without getting your full approval. Do not take your care twice to a mechanic who performed some unnecessary repairs.

TIP! Watch out for blatant signs that your mechanic is not to be trusted. If they ignore your questions or talk in circles, you’d be wise to not use their services.

Ask many questions to the mechanics who inspect your car when you bring it in for repairs. Preventing vehicle issues is a lot of saving money annually.

A spare tire and a jack are valuable items to have in case of an emergency. Newer cars almost always have them. You would hate to be stuck out in the road and be forced to spend money on a tow. It is cheaper and easier when you do it on your own.

TIP! Clean your car regularly, even in the winter. While it may seem pointless, winter is the most damaging time for your car.

Make sure you do not neglect the radiator in your car. Run your car, and then turn it off and pop your hood. You should never open up the radiator of a car that is running. Check radiator fluids using a dipstick and remember to always mix the coolant with water prior to adding it.

Always keep in mind that attempting auto repair on your own has its share of hazards. Never work on your own vehicle without having someone close by. You never know when an emergency may occur. Buy tools that are of a good quality so they’re not going to break when you use them. You will need these in case you ever have a flat tire. Make sure that the jack in your car can securely hold up the vehicle so you are safe while using it. Approved jack stands, working in conjunction with a high quality hydraulic floor jack, are the best tools for tire changes.

TIP! Some shops steal your tires and use old tires to replace them! They prey on the ignorant, those who don’t pay much attention to their car. Prior to taking the car in, mark your tires with a bit of chalk.

If you don’t understand something, have the mechanic or service counter rep clarify it for you before any work is done on the car. You don’t want to be surprised with a huge bill to pay.

OEM is a shorter way to say Original Equipment Manufacturer. Remember this if you need to have parts replaced. You will seem like you know what you are talking about if you tell a mechanic you only want OEM parts. This will make it less likely that the mechanic will attempt to install parts that have been previously used.

TIP! If you encounter a serious problem that threatens your safety on a brand new car, contact the manufacturer. This may be a recall situation but the manufacturer needs to be aware of the issue for the recall to occur.

Wash your car regularly to prevent rust. All cars eventually succumb to rust, but you may delay it considerably by ensuring all chemicals and salts are washed off quickly. A good wax is your paint job for a long time.

Consistency is important when dealing with auto repair shops. Repair shops that can be trusted should be valued. Different mechanics may find different issues with your car. They could also charge you more; don’t let this happen.

TIP! If you are concerned about someone having your back when auto repair is needed, look into AAA. The AAA membership will prove to be invaluable if you break down on the side of the road.

Referrals will lead you to a trustworthy mechanic. Ask the people you know for recommendations. You can find out great information about prices and level of quality. People will let you what type of experience they had to deal with and if the mechanic was honest.

Ask your mechanic if he can wait a few hours for you to think about getting your car fixed after getting a diagnosis and a quote. Call several other places to get quotes on the same work the original mechanic says you need. Sometimes, you may find a better price and save a lot of money.

TIP! If you get a quote from a mechanic that is over $200, ask for it in writing. Getting the estimate in writing can help you if ever you have to complain about the mechanic.

Go over your automobile’s manual and make sure to mark important pages.You might even find the information you have been encountering.

Knowledge of your car’s parts is key to recognizing issues. If you are uneducated on car, you may want to enroll in a class about auto repair. Learning more about the functioning of your vehicle and how to perform different repairs will help you save a lot in the future, even though the class is an initial investment. With this knowledge, you can deal with things before they become big issues.

TIP! Winter does a lot of damage to a car’s interior; use heavy-duty mats made of rubber to protect the carpet. This will keep the heavy salts, mud and ice from ruining the car’s carpet.

Keep a record of every car is fixed or maintained. If you have problems with your vehicle later on, your mechanic will appreciate having access to your past records.

Wash off your floor mats when you wash your car. Dirt particles stick to the rubber surface; as time goes on the particles can create holes. Holes allow water, salt and dirt to pass through to your carpets.

TIP! Before you do any major repairs, talk to another shop for a second opinion. The mechanic might get offended, or maybe offer you a deal, however these should be taken as warning signs.

Never leave anything in your car when it is getting repaired. Mechanics may need to take these items out to do the inside of your vehicle and they aren’t responsible if an item is damaged or missing. You want to remove items from your trunk.

You can often put off minor car repairs, but take your car in immediately if the electrical system, steering wheel, tires or brakes give you trouble. You can endanger yourself and others if these parts break down.

TIP! It is not really necessary to change your oil exactly at 3,000 miles. This was a popular old rule to follow for many years.

Auto Repairs

Your car belts are extremely important parts. When belts fail, your engine could be severely damaged. Inspect them for holes or cracks and always replace them as necessary. You probably need belt replacements if your car screeches when it starts up.

TIP! Once you’ve determined the sort of repairs you’ll need on your car, you should conduct some research online to gauge how much it will cost you. Be certain to compare the cost to repair comparable cars, even from the same make and model if possible.

Auto repairs generally are not fun, but you can make things go better than expected. The things you’ve gone over here are going to help you out quite a bit if you need to work on auto repairs in the future. Both you and your car will be pleased.

Do not neglect convenience when choosing a repair shop. Some dealerships and garages have shuttle services that are free to take you home after a car has been dropped off and they’ll pick you up when it’s finished. A good, quick-acting maintenance garage is a great tool to have at your side in case emergency strikes.

TIP!

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Originally posted 2016-04-01 00:37:59.

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