#but man this shit blows. it sucks so hard to consistently be at the bottom of the pecking order

[ssaltlicker]

It genuinely sucks so bad that a straight pairing can come out of bum fuck nowhere overnight and suddenly get praised for being “the best ship” despite being horribly violent to each other in every instance but one while the lesbian pairing thats had over a decade of buildup and was an actual main plotline of the show got thrown under the bus and gets ignored.

[caffeineforbucky]

As Time Goes By...(Chapter One)

Post-blip (five or six months later)

A/N: This is my first time writing on this website or anything public really, I usually just write for me, please just bear with me if it looks or sounds janky. Also, thanks for taking the time to read. I deeply & wholeheartedly appreciate you. Enjoy!

Summary: I suck at them but, I'll give it a shot. You- the reader, are surprised by 'old' friends when they show up out of the blue, asking for your help on a mission. (This is just the sum for chap. 1)

Word count: 2,760

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! reader

Warnings: Angst, swearing, ex-boyfriend jealousy...

The day was coming to an end, a small heatwave conjuring up a sweat as you wiped down your last table for the night. You blew out a breath, brushing back a sheen of perspiration with your forearm, watching the last customer walk out of the restaurant as the bell chimed above their head.

You never understood why people chose to sit inside when there were tables out on the sidewalk. It was hotter in here than out there, especially since the air conditioner had gone out just a few days prior and the fans above the tables were only circling the air inside. It was an actual oven, but they contended.

Your hightops heaved across the tile, dragging yourself with the sufficiency of a person who was only working because they had to. You kicked up the doorstop, pulling the door towards you with a small amount of goodwill and vigor to finish locking up, flipping the paper sign over from open to closed. It wasn't as if you hated your job. You thoroughly enjoyed the atmosphere of it all. It was the only person working the night shift job you hated with every fiber of your being. You weren't completely alone in the restaurant, having a few cooks and the owner to keep you company, especially on busy nights like the one you just had.

"I'm clocking out, Mrs. Turner!" You call out, reaching behind your back to untie the knot of your apron, pulling it up and off your neck once the ties came undone. Trudging back to the table, you picked up the disinfectant wipe and toss it in the bin, making your way to your boss's office before hanging up your apron on the hook. "Mrs. Turner...?" You murmur softly, poking your head in through the doorway, only to see her counting the profits for the day. "I'm heading home," You chime, pointing behind your shoulder with your thumb as she glances up at you.

"Alright, Honey," She beams, a bright smile pulling at her lips as her eyes meet yours. "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

Working for the Turners wasn't supposed to be a permanent job, in fact, it wasn't even your original plan, as opposed to the small favors you would complete now and then for the people that were willing to pay a pretty penny for your...services.

But you figured having a stable job was smarter and safer than the alternative. And the help wanted sign was very persuasive, due to the pretty colors and splashes of glitter. It looked like it was made by a child, which you later found out, was decorated by Mrs. Turner's seven-year-old. "Always." You accede, tapping the doorframe as your goodbye before parading into the breakroom to gather your things from the lockers.

You take your backpack off the hook and swing the strap over your shoulder before time punching your card and going straight through the back door. The sounds of the city hit your ears as the heavy door slammed behind you. Traffic honks and tires treading against the grain while you walk further into the busy streets of San Francisco.

As you were about to turn the corner, you were met with the sight of your friend's van, followed by a trumpet rendition of La Cucaracha. You grinned widely, gripping your strap tighter as you jog up the 1972 Ford Ecoline, aka Big Bertha. At least that's what you called it. "Luis!" You rejoice, resting your palms on the ledge. "What are you doing here?"

"Scotty sent me out for a few things," Luis answers, his hands gripping the steering wheel, his head turned to you. "I was just about to go when I saw you. Thought you might need a ride." He shrugs, a cute smile playing on his lips.

You nod, reciprocating the smile at his answer. "Yeah, if it's not too much trouble..." You drag, your voice hesitant, as if he didn't offer at all.

"Nah, get in." He gestures, beckoning you with a wave of his hand. "Your place is on the way," Luis loosens his seatbelt, reaching over to the passenger side to pull up the lock, opening the door for you.

You climb in, plopping down on the tufted leather seats as you pulled the door towards you, closing it shut. "Thanks, Lu," You breathe, dropping your backpack below your feet, then you fasten your seatbelt. "How is Scott, anyway?" You ask as Luis changes gears and presses the gas, the van rolls onto the street.

"Ehh...he's...he's alright, know what I'm sayin'?" He answers, glancing at you before focusing back on the road. "I mean, he missed like five years of his daughter's life. He's just trying to spend as much time with her to make up for years they both lost."

You nibble at the inside of your cheek, nodding softly in agreement as the city lights passed you by. There wasn't much you could say to that, having lost so many people yourself. People you considered family just...gone.

"Yo!" Luis pipes up, snapping you out of your train of thought. "Didja see the news today?!" He shakes his head, whistling at the thought. "I can't believe they would just give some random dude the shield like that, ya know?"

You drew in your bottom lip in contempt, nodding once again at Luis. You had seen the news, and they couldn't have picked a better time to broadcast. If it hadn't been for Mrs. Turner asking you in, you would've hunted Sam Wilson down and kicked his ass yourself.

The van rolled to a stop, brakes squealing as Luis pulled up beside your apartment. You sighed heavily, glancing at the small apartment you shared with your Ex-boyfriend. By the looks of the living room light illuminating behind the curtains, he was home, and you absolutely dreaded when he was. It wasn't as if you wanted to live with him, but you had no other alternative. Ever since dropping your side job, money was tighter, and he was kind enough to let you stay, just until you found a place. "Thanks again for the ride, Lu." You mumble, unclicking your seatbelt as you took hold of your backpack. "You didn't have to."

"Don't even mention it, Y/N," Luis reassures, watching you as you pull at the door handle, opening it to get out. "I know how hard it is to get back into the norm."

You shut the passenger door, shooting him a sympathetic smile. "I'll see you around?"

With a smile, Luis waves goodbye and drives off into the night, the exhaust pipe blowing smoke as he rode off. You shook your head, cracking a smile at the honk of his horn. You turned towards the front entrance of the apartment, your stomach twisting as your smile dropped completely. You swallowed thickly, rolling the tension from your shoulders to prepare yourself before jogging up the small flight of stairs.

You fished your keys from the front pocket of your backpack, taking a breath before shoving the key into the lock, twisting as you pushed the door open with your shoulder. "Joshua?!" You voiced, calling out your ex's name to make sure it was him. You dropped your belongings beside the door, pushing your sneakers off before kicking the door shut with your foot.

"Yeah, in here!" He responds quickly, a slight tremor to his tone.

You frown softly, tossing your keys into the bowl on the console table before sauntering to where his voice was emanating from. "Josh, are you...?" Your voice came to a halt, your footsteps stopping altogether as you walked into the living room.

"Hey!" Joshua exclaims once your figure comes into view. "You wanna explain who they are?" He presses, his face crossed with fear as he gestures to the two men sitting calmly on your living room couch.

You remained quiet, your body tense, eyes wide as your focus shifted between the men on the couch and your ex.

"Well...?" Joshua demands, crossing his arms over his chest, shifting in his stance at the unsettling glare one of the men was sending his way. "I was in the middle of hosting game night-as you can see, when they showed up," Josh drops his arms, hands splaying out to gesture to the coffee table consisting of five different dips, two bulk-sized bags of tortilla chips, and a twenty-four pack of Blue Moon beer. "The guys were just about to come over."

You take a deep breath, closing your eyes to refrain from any and all insults towards your ex. That explained why he was home. "Um..." You utter, pinching the bridge of your nose, "Fucking hell," You curse under your breath, eyes fluttering open to look at Joshua. "Josh," You begin, clearing your throat as you start with the man on the left. "They are Sam Wilson and..." You hesitate, eyes settling on the man to the right, his sight alone bringing back the memories that you swore you didn't want to remember. "James Barnes," You finish, ripping your eyes away from his baby blues to look at your ex. "Aka-"

"The Falcon and The Winter Soldier..." Joshua finishes for you, his eyes flashing with amazement, head whipping towards the guys. "Shit!" He curses, smiling widely like a kid in a candy store. "Can I get you guys anything? A plate? Beer?"

"Actually," You grunt, interrupting before Sam or Bucky could answer. "Can you give us a minute, Joshua?" Insisting while your foot tapped impatiently against the hardwood floor.

"Should I be worried?" He inquires, eyes filled with confusion as he looked between the three of you, trying to piece together the situation at hand. The main reason you and Joshua couldn't work it out was that you kept a lot of secrets, mostly from him. He didn't like the fact that you wouldn't let him in. Sure, you lied to him, the biggest lie being that you were an Avenger, but that was just to keep him safe. There were other reasons why you decided to split up as well. Joshua knew...he knew deep down you were just with him to pass the time. He could see it when he looked into your eyes. There was someone else in the reflection and it wasn't him. If he was honest with himself, he could admit that it did hurt him. That he wanted a chance to make it work with you, but with the way you were staring at James, he finally recognized that reflection.

He should've noticed it early on-like that day he had somehow convinced you to take a trip to D.C for a tour of the Captain America museum. You were hell-bent on not going, trying to make up some elaborate excuse or an alibi of sorts, but alas, you still went. And for some odd reason, you couldn't stop coming back to the Bucky Barnes portion.

"No," You reply, keeping it short to dismiss him.

Joshua's mouth set in a hard line, a foreign feeling forming in the pit of his stomach-jealousy. He never had to worry about it before, especially when his friends used to come over, back when you were still together. Except for that one time, but how could he blame them? You were the kind of person that listened, laughed at the jokes being made, could lend a hand when needed, and your looks were just a bonus in his book. "Uhm, yeah," He coughed, frowning softly while nodding his head at you. "I have to go pick up the pizza, anyway," Josh brushes past you, fetching his keys from the bowl while slipping on his Vans that sat up against the wall ledge that separated the front door from the living room. "Are you going to be okay?" He mumbles, glancing over his shoulder to look at you.

You shoot Josh a smile, nodding reassuringly, his footsteps approaching closer before stopping in front of you, the palm of his hand landing gently on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. "Let me know if you need anything, m'kay?" Josh's voice is soft, the concern in his eyes making you feel guilty. You knew he cared about you, and there wasn't a time where you'd catch him staring at you for far too long, but you were well past that. "I'm just a text away," He notes, waving his cell in his hand.

"Josh, I'll be fine," You sigh, stepping away from his touch, the sound of his hand hitting his jeans as it dropped from your shoulder. "I always am."

"Right," Josh nods, looking over at the men on the couch before gazing back at you. "I'll see you in a bit, bug." And with that, he turns, opens the front door, and steps out, shutting the wooden door behind him.

You close your eyes, the pet name Josh had coined for you making you sigh. He agreed to stop calling you that all together and it only made you feel that more guilty for ending things. "So..." You pipe up, opening your eyes as you turned to look at the guys. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Bug?"

Bucky is the first to speak, his jaw clenched at the mere sound of the word. Indignant at the way Josh had touched you, even if it was just your shoulder. "I didn't know he knew you like that," Bucky flashes you a taut smile, nodding softly as he shared a look with Sam, but the falcon only shook his head. "How long have you been..." Bucky couldn't even finish the question, his glove-clad hands tightening at the thought of you being with somebody else...someone that wasn't him. Though, it was his own fault. If he hadn't done what he'd done-you'd have never found another.

"Wow," You scoff, padding closer to where they sat. "You don't miss a beat, do you? Just..." You sink into the sofa adjacent to the one they occupied. "-Right into the big stuff."

"I didn't bring you here to question her about her love life," Sam voices, his scolding eyes on the man beside him. "And she sure as hell isn't obligated to answer you, Bucky."

You smile gratefully at Sam before glancing down at your leg that had begun to bounce in anticipation. "What are you guys doing here? And how'd you find me?" You ask, tilting your head in curiosity as you look up at the guys. "When I resigned from the Avengers initiative, they ensured me that I wasn't able to be traced, not by your or any other remaining member. I was supposed to be scot-free," You declare, hitting your thigh with your fist.

"Oh, come on, Y/N," Sam chuckles, shaking his head at the naivety. "We both know that's a bunch of bullshit. The government is always going to have its eyes on us. Especially free agents like you and us."

You draw in your bottom lip, biting down, eyes flickering between Sam and Bucky. You knew it was too good to be true, and part of you sensed the bullshit when the government explained it to you. You just didn't want to believe it.

"You were an ex-assassin. How could they not keep tabs on your whereabouts?" Sam recounts, emphasizing that it was in the past. At least, that's what they thought. "And I had some help from Redwing as well." He shrugs nonchalantly.

You choke out a laugh, shaking your head at the smug demeanor emitting from Sam. "Redwing," You whisper, smiling thinly. "Of course, nothing could ever be hidden from your personal P.I, huh?"

"I hate that thing," Bucky grumbles, folding his arms across his chest. in annoyance. "Invasion of privacy, I'm telling you."

"You love redwing," Sam jokes, playfully jabbing Bucky's arm with his elbow, "It's okay Bucky, you can admit it."

"Can we get back to the issue here?" You interject, "Not one of you has explained the reason you're here. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's great to see you...one more than the other," You whisper that last part but, completely aware that Bucky could hear it. "But, you both showing up out of the blue...? That's almost a bad omen."

"I didn't ask him here, by the way," Sam acknowledges, raising his hands in defense, "I just want to get that out of the way. Bucky came because he wanted to. I'm here," Sam gestures to himself, "-For one reason and one reason only..."

"And what's that?" You ask, leaning forward in your seated position.

"I need your help, Y/N."

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

You wrote your opinions on the Order of the Phoenix, what about the Death Eaters? That's another way of saying Lucius, Bellatrix, and anybody else. I honestly feel that we're running out of HP characters for you to write your opinion and reasoning about, so yeah~

We honestly are. When people start asking me questions about Harry’s nameless and faceless classmates I feel like we’re scraping the bottom of my barrel of Harry Potter opinions.

Though, that said, this is still a very large ask if you want me to analyze very Death Eater ever or even the Death Eaters as a whole (which is worthy of its own post).

So, we’ll compromise, and I’ll just look at the two you name dropped.

Lucius Malfoy

To me, Lucius is by far one of the more intelligent Death Eaters. He’s the guy who makes them almost look classy. I say almost, because Lucius is still a racist domestic terrorist and as the series goes on Tom gleefully drags him into being less classy by the minute (his house becomes a POW camp and housing for the dregs of society, Lucius just sobs, trying to be thankful he’s somehow still alive).

Lucius is rich, sophisticated, and is probably the most politically powerful man in the country. He has a beautiful wife he has... a son (sorry Draco, but you do not live up to your father) the guy has it all.

Which makes it very surprising that he got dragged into this mess. But you see, Lucius is paying for that tragedy we call youth.

Also, as a caveat, I’m about to headcanon hard and will not bother to get into the details of why I think x, y, or z in this post.

Ten years prior to the start of canon, Lucius is a very young man, probably very charismatic, certainly believes he’s intelligent and probably gets decent grades, but nonetheless the kind of stupid you see in men ages 15-25.

He’s likely chafing under his aging father’s strict guidance, knows he’s not going to be Lord Malfoy for years yet, wants to get out there, prove himself, and make a difference for his country. More importantly for Lucius, there’s this hip, exciting, new thing that all his cousins and friends are getting into called “The Death Eaters” (yes, I don’t believe the Knights of Walpurgis/Death Eaters 1.0 ever happened, I think it’s ridiculous that fandom and JKR does, I could go into why but not in this post). 

The Death Eaters are led by the single handedly most beautiful, charismatic, man in Britain. (Yes, I headcanon Tom’s still blindingly attractive at this stage, because it makes much more sense to me but we’re not getting into that here.) A mysterious man by the name of Voldemort, Salazar Slytherin’s long lost heir, who has come to resurrect the wizarding world’s true heritage and purge the land of the muggle stain. (Yes, I do believe that no one, not even Lucius who is later given the diary, knew who Tom really was. I believe Regulus’ had only the vaguest idea, informed mostly by Tom’s use of Kreacher to place the locket.) This is the most exciting thing to have ever happened, the rallies probably consist of rich kids drunk out of their minds and maybe even high on a little wizard cocaine, and Lucius is down for it precisely because his father says “Lucius, this is stupid, please don’t embarrass the family.” WELL LUCIUS IS GOING TO EMBARRASS THE FAMILY, DAD! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!

And for a while, it looks like Lucius made the right choice. Things are happening, they’re actually going out and killing the mudbloods! Unlike Regulus, Lucius never has that “wait a minute” moment as he realizes that Voldemort’s actually far more efficiently eliminating pureblood families and sowing dissention in what was once a unanimous force among the Wizengamot (the other pureblood lords aren’t necessarily pro muggleborn, per se, but they get a bit queasy at the thought of blowing them up or Merlin forbid actually blowing up their own public venues wizards use). 

And then October 31st, 1981 happens, and it all comes crashing down. Lucius has to desperately lie his ass off, having only the flimsiest lie to rely on, has to hand out a shit ton of bribes, and manages to squeeze his way out of being imprisoned in Azkaban. 

I’m sure Abraxas looked at his son, with his tattoo on his arm that makes him another man’s slave, at the utter destruction of the Black family, and just shook his head going, “Clean up your mess, Dumbass Son”

And Lucius does to the best of his ability. While some will always suspect him of being a Death Eater, while some know it, he’s able to climb very high in influence in their ridiculously tiny community. Granted, I do think he messed up, and could never for example run for minister given everything (if Crouch can’t rerun then Lucius certainly can’t). He also shows us that in some ways he is not above the law, he’s very afraid his house will be searched without warrant in The Chamber of Secrets, and this is in part why he dumps Tom Riddle’s diary off onto Ginny.

However, he wields total control of the Prophet, has a seat on the Wizengamot, has the ear of the current Minister, is on the Hogwarts’ Board of Governors, and has his hands in pretty much every pie he can.

I imagine during this period Lucius grows up. He brushes the indiscretions of his youth under the carpet, gleefully leaving it all behind him, and the only real friend he maintains contact with from that period is Severus, the least zealot like of all of them. (Crabbe and Goyle Sr aren’t friends, they’re minions). 

Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a racist slime bag, and I don’t think he really regrets the domestic terrorism. He just regrets nearly getting caught and putting his entire family’s security on the line. He witnessed first hand what happened to the Blacks.

And then the worst thing happens: Tom Riddle rises from the dead. He rises, impossibly, from the dead when Lucius has his own hand caught in the cookie jar.

Lucius has been living a life of luxury and influence while his great master, the man he had pledged everything to, was dead. Worse, Lucius took what was described as a treasured item to be protected at all costs, and not only threw it away but sent it to Hogwarts where it caused massive havoc and was ultimately destroyed. 

And Lucius, I imagine, no longer wants to serve a master.

But he has no choice. And so begins Lucius�� descent into misery and hell as he’s given an increasing set of impossible, horrific, tasks in punishment that involve him watching as his wife and son are put through hell.

I believe Tom holds a special place in his cold, black, passive aggressive heart for Lucius Malfoy.

First, Tom makes Lucius’ house his headquarters. Oh, Lucius, you have a very nice, very large, estate? Why don’t you host your beloved, mad, cousin, her equally mad husband and brother-in-law? Oh, Bellatrix threatened to cut off your ear? Well, she’s just so passionate! 

Second, Lucius is told to go get the prophecy. Well, this is easier said than done. He nearly succeeds but then it all turns into the world’s largest clusterfuck that ends in two notable things. First, the prophecy is lost forever, shattered. Second, the government admits that Voldemort is truly resurrected. Both of these things are very bad in Tom’s book. And the blame can easily be put on Lucius’ head.

In response to this, Draco is now given an impossible task that Draco is too stupid to realize is designed to cause him (and his family) as much misery as possible. Draco is to assassinate Dumbledore. 

Likely, Tom was already informed by Snape that Dumbledore was dying. The blackened hand was too obvious a tell coming from too obvious a source for the pair to have hid it. I think trying to hide such information would have immediately blown Snape’s cover. So, Tom knows the man is dying, and doesn’t see fit to tell Draco this.

Instead, he tells Draco, “Kill Dumbledore as soon as possible or I deliver you to Fenrir Grayback.” Draco, however, is young and stupid, so he honestly thinks he is doing this to restore the family honor, earn glory for himself and for the cause, and is expected to do this entirely by himself. As a result, when Narcissa begs Snape to aid Draco, Draco blows them both off and only accepts help from Bellatrix because HE CAN DO THIS ON HIS OWN! DRACO IS A MAN.

This, of course, doesn’t work out either. Draco doesn’t deliver the killing blow, Snape does, but Tom decides to give him a pass.

Instead he moves on to his next plan which is making the Malfoy manor his torture chamber and POW camp. Even Draco, at this point, realizes this all kind of sucks. 

And then Voldemort finally dies a second time, and I’m sure Lucius just stares numbly at his malformed corpse, wondering if it will really take this time.

So that’s Lucius for you, paying always for his mistakes, and pretending he’s just as much of a nutcase as Bellatrix to fit in.

Bellatrix LeStrange

God, compared to the novel that is Lucius’ ridiculous life, I really don’t have much to say about her because I feel like there’s not much too her.

Bellatrix reminds me a lot of the Manson family, she gives off those same vibes. Point being, I think even before Azkaban (while Azkaban certainly didn’t help), she was insane and a little too worshipful of Voldemort.

I guess I can start there, I don’t think Bellamort is a thing, at all. 

Tom may have, probably did, have sex with her before he died but afterwards? In that body? Forget about it.

That said, I’m sure Bellatrix both wanted to have sex and is convinced she did have sex to produce whatever the hell Delphi even is. It just wasn’t with Tom, and probably was Rodolphous with a Halloween mask on his face as they got a little too into role play.

And there we go, I suppose, I can’t take Bellatrix seriously. You often see her portrayed as sexy femme fatale Death Eater, the most competent of all of them, if a bit of a sadist.

Oh she might be a very good duelist but she’s... Bellatrix.

She prances around in corsets, shrieking madly, and just what part of that is supposed to be femme fatale? I literally cannot take her seriously on any level. When I even try to write her seriously, in very serious stories, I end up with lines like the following:

"My lord, if there's anything you need… Anything from me, specifically, as a woman…" 

- Bright Eyes

That was my best attempt. That was the best I could come up with. It’s still something that belongs in a comedy.

So, I don’t think Tom really corrupted her. I think without Voldemort she still probably would have been blowing up Diagon Alley, just in a much less organized manner.

Even in canon she does ridiculous things. For example, Bellatrix, frankly, could have easily avoided prison.

For weeks after the dark lord fell neither she, her husband, Barty, nor her brother-in-law were arrested. Bellatrix in grief and utter disbelief that the dark lord could ever do something so mortal as die, said “remember that other house our lord mentioned, THEY MIGHT HAVE INFORMATION, LET’S GO MURDER THE LONGBOTTOMS!” They torture and kidnap Frank, demanding he tell them where their master is, THEY KNOW HE KNOWS. He doesn’t know. They go too far and torture the man into being a vegetable. “Shit, GET THE WIFE!” They go get the wife, do the same thing, with the same results.

They now have no information on the dark lord, two well regarded aurors tortured into brain damage, and are quickly caught and brought before the court with absolutely no “I was imperiused” excuse they can give out. 

How am I supposed to take her in any way seriously?

I mean, to end your life killed in a duel with Molly Weasley. That just says it all.

[kingofdirtandnothing]

@polyfacetious big ass Christmas Drabble Extravagaza: Day Five

There’s flour dusted all the way up to Diego’s elbows, splattered across the front of his black shirt. There’s even hints of white against Klaus’ cheekbones and the soft fanned edges of his short hair. 

Tortillas were a mess even when you knew what you were doing. When you had a guy in there with you who was enthusiastic but not the most kitchen oriented, it made things kind of a disaster. A fun, flour dusted one but still a disaster. 

“We need the right-” Feel. But Diego can feel the word sticking in the back of his throat. So he does the only other thing he can think of. He grabs Klaus by the hand and jams his hand down into the dough they were working on. 

Tortillas were deceptively simple, especially flour ones. All you needed was flour, a little salt, a little water and some kind of fat. Diego had scoured recipes on the internet while he was waiting to hear back on his loan for this place, and he must have tried a dozen of them. Vegetable oil. Butter. But none of them came close to the way his mom used to make them. With lard. 

So Diego made them with lard. The trick with the lard though, was trying to figure out just when you had the right consistency to get the dough where you needed it to be, for the tortilla press. And even if Diego could have words falling off of his tongue without any chance of stuttering, he was still pretty sure he wouldn’t have the words for this. 

But his mom, she didn’t even follow a recipe. All the cooking she did, she did with her senses. She used to tell him that all you needed to cook were your eyes and your nose and your ears. That it didn’t even matter what the ingredients were, if you knew how to listen to your nose and your heart, that you could make anything. And make it good, too. 

“Feel?” It takes effort to get that one word out, with Klaus’ long, bony fingers beneath his hand. Diego has to press his tongue against the roof of his mouth and work it out slow, the same way he was going to do with the dough. 

She used to tell him that too. That words could be just like food, if he thought about them hard enough. That sometimes, the special ones, they took care and time and work, just the way that good food did. 

Diego missed her like a fucking limb sometimes. But she was happy up in Maine, and despite the fact that he did not get it at all, she was happy as hell with her new husband. So Diego wasn’t going to cause her any trouble. Any more than he already had, at least. 

Klaus nods, and Diego can feel the thin press of his back against his own chest when he breathes outwards. It’s only then that he realizes he’s bracketed Klaus in between both of his arms, the metal mixing bowl on the table in front of him. 

Deep breath. Picture the word in your mind. Diego closes his eyes, and it’s easier to keep talking that way. 

“We don’t want it to feel like sand. Or quicksand. It needs to be tighter than that. Where you squeeze it in your hand and it leaves all the indentions against it. Like the handle of a knife.” It’s the only way he can think to picture the consistency of the dough they need. 

“It’s still too dry.” Diego can feel the dough clumping in between their almost laced fingers. He reaches past Klaus with the hand not in the mixing bowl and splashes a little water from a measuring cup into the bowl again. 

The wooden spoon is picked up left handed, not because Diego is left handed but because he don’t want to let go of where he’s got hold of Klaus’ hand. So he stirs it, slow and clumsy until the dough starts to come together. “Try again.”

This time, it’s Klaus who catches a handful of dough and gives it a squeeze. He opens his hand, palm up and in between them, a clump of white dough sitting right across his life line. (The only reason Diego knew anything about that kind of shit was because Klaus had a palmistry poster up in his shop.)

And there it was. The perfect consistency written into the edges of the dough, like parts of Klaus’ personality or his destiny or something had been imparted into the very dough himself. “Now we got to roll it into a ball.” For that to happen, Diego needed to get the hell out of Klaus’ space. But his feet weren’t going anywhere. 

Klaus looks back over his shoulder at him, and Diego could swear that he could count every fleck in those pretty green eyes. Or maybe every line on his lips. Did people read lips the way they read palms? Would he be able to count every indent, every crack in Klaus’ pretty mouth and know his history?

Diego? He hears his name distantly, like it’s coming through the depths of water or a couple of closed doors. Diego has to swallow before he turns his eyes back to the dough in Klaus’ hand. Plucking it from where it rests, Diego rolls it deftly into a ball between his flour dusted palms. This part was easy, at least. 

“Now we gotta flatten it out.” And now Diego had no more excuse to stand so close. He drops his arms and steps away from Klaus’ back, feeling the cool(er, it was still hot as hell in this tiny shop) air hit his chest in the place that Klaus just vacated. “You can do it by hand, but that shit takes too long.”

Diego points to the ancient, slightly rusted tortilla press that took of place of pride on the prep counter. It was his mom’s, sent on her insistence when he called to tell her that he got the loan for the place. 

She kept telling him that he could ask her new husband for the cash to start the place up. Apparently he was flush with it. But the last thing Diego wanted was to owe anybody money, least of all his brand new stepdad. So he sucked it up and went to the bank. And tried to tell himself that he wasn’t carrying the old man around in the back of his head like a safety net in case his shitty credit wasn’t enough to get him through. 

“We use the wax paper to keep it from sticking. It’s a pain in the ass when it sticks.” Diego points to two circles of wax paper, freshly cut from the industrial sized box of wax paper sitting on a shelf overhead. With the first circle down on the bottom of the tortilla press, the slapped the dough ball down on it, and then more carefully placed the second circle of wax paper on top. 

“You do the honors.” This was always his favorite part when he was a kid, and there’s something fucking dumb about how it makes his heart race to share this with Klaus. But Klaus wasn’t looking at him like he was dumb. Klaus was watching him with bright glass eyes and pink flushed wide across his cheeks. He was fucking beautiful. 

Klaus curls a hand against the lever, and with a sweet hesitance, he pulls the lever down, pressing the two metal plates together. Between them, the sheets of wax paper held everything together as the dough was pressed into an even, neat disc. 

“Nice. Good job.” Later, when it was all said and done, Diego would realize just how many words he got out without even thinking about stuttering. About just how fucking magic being in the kitchen with Klaus was. “Now we’re ready to cook.”

Almost. They were almost to the best part, and Diego could feel the anticipation starting to prickle at his scalp. Next to the flat top where he fried his meat and onions and peppers, there were two gas burners. This was where he blackened the chiles for his sauces, right on the flame. But for the moment, he had a big black cast iron skillet. 

Diego turns the flame down to low, watching the ring of blue cling close to the burner. “With cast iron, you gotta be patient. It takes a minute to come up to temp, but this shit runs hot. So you don’t want to rush it. Otherwise, you’re going to burn your stuff and you’ll have to start over.” It was better to do shit right the first time, then waste the time doing it over.

Another lesson from his mother, though her version was a lot more PG. She was a classy lady like that. Diego had never even heard her say a word like ‘crap’, let alone a real curse word in either language they both spoke at home.

Holding a hand out over the surface of the pan, Diego feels the heat like pressure up against his palm. Yeah, it was ready to go. He turns to Klaus, and is pleased that he doesn’t have to say anything. Klaus waits for Diego to pull his hand away and then he puts his own right near the bottom of the pan. Klaus even pulls it away with a playful hiss, blowing on his palm.

“So with a tortilla, you cook them straight on a hot, dry pan. No oil, no butter, no nothing. Bring me the wax paper.” Like a good sous chef, Klaus hurries over to the tortilla press, springing the lever open so that he can get a hand above and below the sheets of wax paper, carrying them over to Diego still trapped between his palms.

Klaus hands over the two discs of paper gently but with a flourish, like he was on the Price is Right or something, and Diego peels the top off, dropping that side down onto the pan with a sizzle. Once it’s settled, he peels the other piece of wax paper away. He drops them back on the counter to be used again. No reason to let that shit go to waste. 

“We’re looking for bubbles. That’s how we know to flip.” Sure enough, within a few seconds, Diego is able to point at where a bubble has swollen up on the surface of the tortilla. Klaus nods, hands carefully out of the way of the stove, though he was still leaning in close to get a better look at the action. Diego grabs a wooden spatula, flipping it over onto the other side. The fresh side of the tortilla hisses and sizzles when it makes contact with the hot pan. “Same on the other side. But we’re listening here. Smelling, too. You’ll know when it’s done. Watch.”

Diego waits out the tortilla, until he can smell the first singe of heat against the dough. He taps his nose, and Klaus lights up, delighted. I smell it! He’s so damn handsome that Diego thinks he might be dizzy because of it. Or maybe that was the heat of a kitchen used all day, and the leftover heat of the summer sun baked into the bricks of the building. Either one.

The tortilla is slid from the pan onto a waiting plate, a real one, actually from Diego’s apartment and not the paper shit he serves customers on. It was as fancy as he got. A pat of butter is smoothed across the freckled surface of the fluffy tortilla, leaving a golden sheen that he sprinkles with just a little salt. 

Diego hands the plate over to Klaus, his heart sitting high and fast in his chest like a hummingbird. He’s never cared so much about what somebody thought in his whole damn life. But now he needs to know.

“How is it?”

[hettiesworld]

War and Peace (and Love)

Pairing: Sergeant William (Will) James x OC

Summary: Corporal Joslyn Woods has been transferred to the Delta Camp and she has to work with the bomb disposal unit, consisting of Specialist Eldridge, Sergeant Sanborn and Sergeant James. She is the first female to be put on a bomb disposal unit in Iraq and her duty is to keep James safe from snipers and gunmen, willing to attack James.

During the 365 days of being with them, Woods develops feelings for James after the ‘loss’ of the kid who sold DVDs to James, also known as Beckham. She is there to comfort him and support him throughout the rest of the days.

Warning(s): Spoilers for the movie, angst, strong language, mature themes.

A/n: This is finally the second chapter of this series! Can’t wait for you guys to read it! Some of the gifs are not mine. Credit to the owners.

Chapter 2:

363 days left in Iraq. 

There was a car left in the town centre with a bomb in it. It was in front of a United Nations building. Joslyn, Sanborn, Eldridge and their leader, Sergeant James arrived at their location. 

All of the citizens were being evacuated as Joslyn helped James into the bomb disposal suit. She didn’t want to but Sanborn and Eldridge were too busy, doing their own thing. Joslyn was trying to make herself busy putting James’s suit on.

“I’m too old for this shit.” James muttered to himself. Joslyn didn’t reply, still making herself busy with his suit. She picked up his helmet, giving it to him and letting him attach it onto himself. She picked up her gun and slung it on her back.

“What? No words of encouragement?” James shouted after her as she had her back towards him. Joslyn rolled her eyes and shouted back, “Don’t die!”

James rolled his eyes and walked toward the car, which suddenly became engulfed in flames. James walked back and got out a fire extinguisher from the humvee. He then walked back to put out the fire and began to examine the car while Eldridge, Sanborn and Joslyn took up their positions as lookouts.

James opened the trunk and found several of the same type of artillery shells he'd seen the day before. 

The desert of Israel was covered in rolling hills. Wind stirred up the wispy sand and the sun’s never ending rays beaten down on him mercilessly. Salty sweat rolled off James’s nose and stung his eyes. The suit was overwhelmingly hot and sticky. After a few moments, he takes his bomb suit off completely, knowing it won't protect him.

“What are you fuckin’ doing?” Joslyn demanded. She was the nearest lookout to James as he finally took off the helmet. “And don’t tell me it’s because of the hot weather!”

James, once again, rolled his eyes and conceded, “There's enough bang in there to send us all to Jesus. I'm gonna die, I wanna die comfortable.”

Joslyn looked over to the car and a bomb canister that James uncovered, which was poking out of the driver’s side of the car. There was enough explosive in the car to kill everyone nearby, including her teammates, even if they took cover. She sighed and said to Sanborn over the comms, “James is taking off his bomb suit.”

“What? Why?”

“I saw. There are a lot of canisters there to blow us up or something. I don’t know. Ask James or something.”

James disarmed the shells and began to search the car for the triggering device, a process that took several minutes. At one point, Sanborn tried to talk to him through a headset.

But all he did was tell him to fuck off.

So, he pulled it off and threw it aside.

A few more very tense minutes passed as James searched the car. Sanborn and Eldridge noticed several groups of Iraqis watching them from rooftops and from a minaret. They also saw a man filming the incident with a video camera. At the car, James finally found the triggering device and detached it. 

“You done?” Joslyn asked him.

James replied with a thumb up but quickly turned into a middle finger.

When he returned to the Hummer, he lit a cigarette and was promptly hit in the face by Sanborn.

“You could’ve gotten us killed, you fucker. Don’t do it again.”

He was angry that James, yet again, refused to acknowledge him or any questions he had. James appeared strangely unoffended, nor was he angry at Sanborn.

Joslyn strutted up to him, taking the cigarette out of his hand and stubbed it out. “No.”

“What the fuck?” James snapped, crossing his arms at Joslyn.

“They’re bad for you.” She claimed, also taking his whole box of the deadly things and putting them in her pocket.

“And why do you care?” 

“I’m responsible for your health and safety. That means you need to stop smoking.”

“You’re not my mom!” Accused James, pointing a finger at her. Joslyn sighed and put down his finger with her hand.

“Yeah? Well, it’s my duty to not get you killed. Whether you like it or not. And by the way, I don’t like this either. So, we both have to suck up and get on with it. Okay?” Joslyn walked off.

Before James could stop her, a colonel on the scene approached James and was clearly impressed with James’s steady nerves and ability to handle such a crisis.

Back at the base perimeter, Sergeant James confronted Beckham, who sells pirated DVDs to the soldiers. 

“I want my five bucks back, buddy.”

“Five dollars for what, man? You crazy now?”

“Yeah. The DVD you sold me was crap.”

“You crazy, man. That's impossible. It's Hollywood special effects.”

“No. It was shaky. It was out of focus, buddy.”

“What, you want donkey porn?”

“It's crap.”

“Girls on dog? Gay sex, man? Anything you want, you get. I hook you up, man.”

Joslyn was also at the base perimeter, looking over at Beckham and James. She then realised why they hated each other so much.

It’s because they had a crush on each other. Maybe?

He was handsome from the depth of his eyes to the gentle expressions of his voice.

“I'm gonna buy another DVD, okay? But... if it's shaky - look at me - or out of focus, or any way not 100%, I'm gonna chop off your goddamn head with a dull knife. How do you feel about... I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.”

James handed over some money and continued saying to Beckham, “Here. You're a good kid.”

James was amused as he hugged the kid’s head. “You're a good kid, aren't ya?”

He told Beckham he could keep the money if he was able to block a shot at the makeshift goal area which was set up.

The man looked like he played soccer for his entire life. Under that uniform was a lithe body that knew how to play and his face backed that up. Within his light tanned face are eyes that twinkle. In just moments of Beckham trying to hustle James further, he broke into a boyish grin.

Beckham blocked the shot and James agreed to buy another movie from him, mildly threatening him if it's defective.

After the team went out to the desert to detonate some of the explosives they've collected on missions (and James recklessly leaving his gloves at the blast zone), she did say to Sanborn that he should stop acting so childish to the idea of blowing James up. She would have agreed to that idea, but not after James’s interaction with Beckham earlier. 

The incident with the Brits and the snipers in the middle of the desert seemed to form a stronger bond between Joslyn and her teammates. Having found that they can actually work well together as a team, they celebrate at James' housing unit.

They took turns pounding each other in the chest and drinking. Joslyn, on the other hand, was sitting in a nearby chair (which was quite comfortable). She rolled her eyes at her teammates’ antics.

By then, they were discussing why James seems to be such a maverick teammate and how he got into their line of work, James shows them a box of parts he's collected from nearly every bomb he's disarmed.

“This box is full of stuff that almost killed me.”

Sanborn saw a picture in James’s box that he got out. “Who’s that?” Sanborn pointed at the photo. James took it out and looked at it.

“That's my son. He's ' tough little bastard. Nothin' like me.”

“You mean to tell me you married?”

“Well, you know, I had a girlfriend and, uh, she got pregnant, so we got married, and we got divorced... or, you know, I thought we got divorced. I mean, she's still living in the house and she says we're still together, so I... I don't know --” 

James paused and got out an engagement ring.

“-- what does that make her? I don't know.”

“Dumb... for still being with your ass.” Sanborn replied, chuckling at him.

James kicked at Sanborn. “Hey! She ain't fucking dumb, all right? She left me, that’s all. We’re not together anymore.”

That’s when it hit Joslyn. It hit her hard. 

Her ex boyfriend’s words, in her head, were like nails and hammers breaking her heart apart, all over again. Her heartbreak was grief that came in waves, gruelling, stealing appetite and sleep alike. It was a shard in her guts that never left, though perhaps in time the edges will dull.

After Sanborn and Eldridge left, Joslyn kept sitting in the chair.

“You still here?” James pondered, as he closed the door and made his way towards his bed, putting the box back under it.

“Yeah…” Joslyn replied, knees up to her face, hugging herself close. 

“You okay?” James pondered again, walking over to Joslyn, sitting next to her.

She shrugged her shoulders. 

“I guess I wasn’t expecting --” 

Her bottom lip quivered, the same as a baby pushed past endurance. Her eyes became glacier blue under the sheen of water, constant. 

She then started to cry.

“Hey. Hey. Why are you crying?” James asked her, knowing what to do straightaway. 

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, gently rubbing her arm. Despite the heaviness in her stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of her body pressed against his. She sunk into the warmth of his side, appreciative of the simple gesture. His touch made the room warmer somehow.

“I don’t know. I guess your story about your ex-wife and your son reminded me of my ex-boyfriend.”

His fingers were long and slender, easily rubbing her arm, as if casual wind fluttering across the surface of sand and shifting it into motion so easily. Unlike others' his fingers were thin and frail, shaped by prominent phalange bones and knotted where the joints curled around the ends of each long and short bone in his hands. There was no muscle tone or fat definition and his skin was only the layer of dust so fine over the polished white underneath.

“I’m sorry.”

Joslyn bit her lip, eyes everywhere but on James. Then he moved closer with those eyes that look so deeply into her own.

They both knew it was coming.

James held her gently, cupping her face with one hand, also wiping her tears with his thumb. He leaned down and softly kissed the tender area at the base of her neck. Joslyn’s body went rigid with surprise as trembles shook her body and the euphoric warmth blossomed within her once more. Joslyn was breathless with delight as he showered her with gentle, soft kisses, each with its own flicker of warmth. Joslyn gazed up at him, thrilled beyond words to be the recipient of his affection. He drew back again and spent a moment studying her face.

“Thank you," he said in barely more than a whisper.

"For what?" She replied.

"For being you." His voice wavered, exhilarated from the tension between them.

Joslyn felt her blush deepen under his scrutiny. James gazed at her lovingly, his eyes softening with tenderness before sparking with something else. He tilted her head to the side and kissed her, his lips demanding. Joslyn felt a smoldering heat deep within her as James’s grip tightened, crushing her body to his, gentle yet firm. He slanted her head further, deepening the kiss.

He grabbed her by the waist, pulling her up close against his chest. His hand gently glided through her hair, as he looked at her in a way he had never looked at a girl before. Her eyes were candles in that night, their light a spark of passion... desire. As a small but teasing smile crept upon her face, goosebumps lined her skin, not the kind that one got in the cold, but the kind one gets when nothing else matters except right here, right now.

--------------------

Taglist:

@ilovebrandt​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​ @sarabeth72​ @archerybitch68​ @dreamlesswonder86​ @carissime72​ @yavanna80​ @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​ @axelwolf8109​ @fizzytaurus​ @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory​

[twilightknight17]

Forgetting to buy more SP patches before taking on the final boss was probably a mistake.

Forgetting to sell the items I can’t take into NG+ for cash that I can take into NG+ was probably a mistake.

Forgetting to get Arsene out of Lockdown so that I can record his awesome new stats for NG+ was probably a mistake.

In my defense, I was really excited. I wonder if the game will let me make a side trip while I’m out...buying flowers. Because that is what it has come to.

Buying flowers.

Shinya is a terrible brat and wasn’t in Akihabara at ALL until the day before the deadline. Thanks, Shinya. There goes my max confidants. Blugh. At least I got some other things done. Got the award for the maid cafe, so I don’t have to go back except once to open the Twins field trip. I still suck at batting even with third eye. But I am a champ at fishing, it only took me like five trips to the fishing pond to catch the Guardian! I could have done it in less if I’d figured out how to manage my bait properly sooner.

Smile, Akira, we’re awesome! ...still not even halfway to enough fish points for the award, though. :/

I am also awesome at the crane game in Akihabara, and by that I mean I am persistent and have enough yen that it doesn’t matter how many tries it takes.

Ryuji truly knows the way to my heart. <3 I missed two episodes of Featherman; one I forgot to check the TV, and the other I was laughing so hard at the title that I forgot to write it down. But I know where they are, so it’s something else for NG+. ^_^

So I romanced Sumire, and I’m...slightly off-put. Only slightly. Not because of her, but once again, because of the writing. Sumire is cute, but the game is singling her out as “special” again.

She is the only one who confesses to you, and you explicitly have the option to turn her down, rather than the implications of a confession that you can shoot down indirectly (Haru’s, Makoto’s, Futaba’s), or the absolute fucking galaxy-brain leap of logic that is Ann’s dialogue choices. X’D

If you ignore that, though, they’re stupidly cute. Akira’s a little shit, as usual. Sumire asks you to “look at her”, based on her whole confidant thing of realizing that having someone you care about watching you makes you want to do better.

And so Akira looks.

And looks closer.

Dorks. XDDD

They’re sweet. Not my favorite romance route; that still goes to Haru. I think in the end I still prefer Akira adding another member to his army of younger siblings. He’s gotta be better than Yu. XDDD

So I got Kasumi’s rank 10 and literally the next day was February 2nd, and I spent the afternoon getting her third-tier persona. So I didn’t even get to see...Vanadis? in battle. Vanadis matches a little too well to Arsene for my tastes, and Ella is pretty, but I’m not sure how I feel about it looking kind of bride-ish when Maruki’s running around in a wedding tux.

.

Anyway...what do we do the night before the meeting that will decide everything?

We make curry and we pretend everything isn’t about to go to hell.

.

So, Maruki. Let’s chat.

Does no one die in your world? Or move away? What if someone’s dream is to move abroad, and someone else’s dream is for that person to stay with them forever? If what we saw in your Palace is any indication, both of them would be tortured into accepting new dreams where they wouldn’t hurt each other. Dreams that you deemed acceptable. And that’s why you’re wrong.

So you’re giving up your happiness to make sure everyone else is happy? Why can’t you just use your powers to make her remember you, without the trauma? Are you not all-powerful?

Or are you running away from the person that reminds you how helpless you used to be? You’re not moving on, you’re dwelling, and using it as an excuse to be terrible. For all of your kindness, you know Akira is a threat. And benevolent or not, you’re being manipulative. You’re using Goro against him. You’re hoping that he makes the decision you didn’t, and chooses the person he cares about over the reality he wants.

Every time he says something like this, I feel exactly the way he says he didn’t want me to. Newsflash, asshole, that’s exactly what it seems like. If we break your reality, you’re heavily implying he won’t be here afterwards. And you’re gambling that it will be too much pain for Akira to bear, because you know how important they are to each other.

Goro, meanwhile, is both perfectly determined and perfectly stupid.

“Don’t tell me you think dangling my life before us is going to have any impact on our decision.”

Goro. Honey. Do you really think he cares so little that he wouldn’t hesitate for just a moment?

Akira practically throws the calling card at Maruki before he leaves, which I think sums up his feelings pretty well.

I appreciate that Morgana understands that this is something between them.

Goro doesn’t want to be controlled or manipulated ever again. Which... I get it. He’s never had a chance to have full control of his own life. But that doesn’t mean Akira isn’t going to be upset by the idea of him dying. Again.

Two out of three dialogue options are basically “hang on one fucking second,  your life matters to me.”

“Don’t oversimplify this.”

“Oh, but it IS simple. Do you think I’d be happy with this? Being shown mercy now of all times? I don’t want to be pitied-- this isn’t something I’m debating with you! Your indecisiveness is essentially a betrayal of my wishes.”

It’s not pity, you stubborn, idiot boy. ...and I hate that you see it as a betrayal.

Maruki is...very confident. And very kind. And part of the reason he upsets me is because he isn’t wrong, in many cases. But he uses that to justify imposing his will on everyone.

And being kind doesn’t mean that you are free from sin. You can be kind and still be manipulative. And selfish. In the end, that’s what separates him and Akira. Akira, despite all of his hesitation, refuses to be selfish. Even when he has every right to be. He will not hurt someone else to prevent himself from being hurt.

He will not hurt Goro by refusing to fight Maruki, even if it will rip his own heart to pieces.

Oh, I like you. At first glance, the silhouette was very similar to one of Mordred’s original pieces of concept art, though, and I was ready to Yell before I looked closer. XD

And so, at 11:30pm, having completely forgotten the several things I needed to have done before the meeting with Maruki, we head in to steal the Treasure.

This man needs to stop. How dare he know how much I love Cool Stairs?

I find it very concerning that the core of Eden is a writhing mess of tentacles. The metaphorical worm in the apple? X’D We were so close to getting Nyarlathotep, but Azathoth is suitably intimidating. And I appreciate that he’s using the same concepts as the Thieves: his will to rebel against what he sees as an unfair reality, and removing his mask to summon his distorted persona. Thanks for validating all of my headcanon meta about Adachi and Palaces all in one go.

But...

I can’t do this. What the fuck are you wearing?

At least Azathoth is cool.

Somehow I managed to bring exactly the right team to get consistent four-person baton passes for the whole first round. That one was about half an hour.

...the second round was an hour and fifteen minutes because holy shit this thing was a tank and had entirely too many arms and really needed to stop healing.

The torch is very pretty, at least.

And then before we can completely book it out of there, he steals the torch back and literally forces his second awakening so he can keep going. And at that point...what is he even hoping to accomplish? What is he going to do? Are you really willing to kill us to maintain this illusion?

The answer is apparently yes because it was a surprisingly poetic battle as each teammate in turn got a chance to fling themselves in the way and stop it from crushing Joker to death with it’s big giant hand.

And THEN he goes even further and validates some canon meta and me all at once by fusing with his own persona in a continuing last-ditch effort to... I really think he’s trying to kill us. I think he’s that far gone. Or at least his persona is. Because after the fusion, it’s specifically called “Adam Kadmon”, not Maruki. The persona is in control. It’s canon that if you try to summon something stronger than you, it can overtake and possess you. I know Maruki seemed to willingly give up control, but it’s also possible that forcing his second awakening like that left him with a persona that was entirely too strong for him.

(Nevermind that him being that strong in the first place is kind of ridiculous. That’s a discussion for after the final credits. I’m just hyped that someone fusing with their persona was a thing that actually happened!)

He’s so big. Where’s Satanael so I can fuse with him and we can have a megazord fight in Collapsing Ideal Tokyo? XD

The kids up the Holy Shit Quotient by a mile by catching the giant fist all together so that Joker can deal the final blow.

And what a final blow it is.

I really like this, because I don’t know if it was deliberate, but I read it as a callback to Daybreakers. Which came out before the game, iirc, so the first real piece of content. It’s just on a bigger, grander scale.

Everything comes full-circle in the end.

I really like the Mona helicopter. XD I just wish it was a little bigger, because poor Goro squished into the bottom. And poor Akira not managing to make it into the helicopter.

And this asshole WILL NOT STAY DOWN.

What is the point of punching it out on top of the collapsing Palace? Are you trying to kill us both? Do you just want to keep going until neither of us can stand? Dude.

And of course Akira won’t let him die. I think the upsetting thing about this, though, is really that you don’t get the chance to say a proper goodbye to Goro. Or anyone, really, but mostly Goro. The Palace crumbles, Akira wakes up in jail, the Thieves wake up the next morning after fighting all night, and Goro is...gone.

At least the Thieves seem properly sad this time. Even if it’s only for one scene.

Lavenza calls it “ironic” that “your wish for other’s happiness prevailed over your own.” I just call it unfair. Once again, hasn’t he done enough? At least he was only technically in jail for nine days from his perspective, but that must have been a whiplash of an adjustment.

Out of jail, Sojiro acknowledges he was Terrible at the beginning of the year, it’s 2:30am, time to do Valentines and then go to bed before the final walkaround.

And then Valentines passes. I spent it with Sumire. They’re cute.

And then it was February 15th and all the rest of the girls gave me chocolate?? It was just a constant ambush of being given chocolate all day?

And then it was March 3rd, and the Thieves are all splitting up and moving away? Are we sure this isn’t Scramble’s timeline? I get it, narratively, they’re taking the opportunities to move forward that Maruki’s reality would have denied them, but it still hurts.

And then it was March 13th and I still can’t save and now it’s 3am and apparently we get to play out White Day and Sojiro is giving me advice for the perfect date because captain idiot here forgot to plan anything and what heckin’ restaurant is getting this flustered that just mentioning Sojiro’s name is enough to get a table when they’re fully booked and---

Now it’s the 14th and I have to go buy flowers for my dinner date and I have finally been given control and saved and I am free.

Now next time I play I have to see if I can go sell my leftover items, because I’ve got a couple-hundred-thousand yen worth, and also rescue Arsene from prison. X’D

More thoughts on Maruki and everything after I see the ending, most likely.

[brillixdis]

The Married Millennialz: WHERE HAVE WE BEEN? (Life Update).

*a short intro plays, displaying their photos and logo along the screen with Dangerous by Meek Mill playing in the background*

Zyair: -laughs some then adjusts his Gucci headband lastly, jumping into the video’s introduction- Welcome back. This is Big Soulja and we’re the Married Millennialz. It’s been a minute but we ain’t forget about ya’ll. -begins using his fingers to count off as he continues to speak- Our comment section, our mentions, our dm’s have been jumping. We had to come out of hiatus and bring it back for ya’ll.

Brilliant: [she chuckles almost immediately, her eyes falling on him as he speaks] If he’s Big Soulja, it’s only right that I’m his Souljagirl. [she playfully swings her hair over her shoulder before focusing back on the camera] We’re ecstatic to welcome you guys back to our channel! We’ve been M.I.A. for too long, and this year we plan on bringing you consistent and top of the line videos! Right, baby?

Zyair: -chuckles lowly- That’s right. You guys are more than welcome to let us know what you wanna see on this channel. We’re open to all suggestions pertaining to the content we’re gonna be giving ya’ll. 2019, we’re coming back better than ever. You want chit-chats, q&a’s, vlogs, goofy shit? Let us know below.

Brilliant: [she points her fingers down below to refer to the description box] Allat, were dedicated to bringing you all some fire content. It’s been a little while so today we wanna discuss where we’ve been, what we’ve been up to and a couple goals we have for the new year!

Zyair: -nods in agreement as she speaks with his focus on the camera- We’ve just been living, you know? Grinding, elevating. Justice grows another inch every day. -chuckles once again- We’ve been doing alright for the most part.

Brilliant: Literally an inch. I’m a little worried that he’ll be my height before I even know it. [she chuckles] We’ve definitely been working on our respective ventures as fair as the beauty industry goes for me, and jewelry for Zy. I will admit that as of lately, we haven’t been our best selves and right now we’re focused on fixing that to the best of our ability.

Zyair: -rubs his hands together some then leans forward as he listens, resting his elbows against his knees- Definitely. We want to be entirely transparent with you guys. We’ve had our downs this past year and it’s taken it’s toll but we’re committed to moving forward and remaining optimistic. -looks in her direction soon after, placing a comforting hand along her thigh-

Brilliant: [she nods her head as he speaks, sucking in her bottom lip to chew in slight nervousness] Definitely. It’s been hard to talk about amongst ourselves, our friends and our family. We know that talking to you guys about our hardships will be like a sense of therapy and a step in a right direction. [she looks up at Zyair to smile assuringly] About a year and some change ago we suffered a miscarriage and it was devastating but we dusted ourselves off and got back up from it. Our goal was to try again but unfortunately this past year has been met by endless heartbreak due to our fertility issues.

Zyair: It’s been a challenging road to travel. It’s really tough, mentally and emotionally. You automatically want to play the blame game or just wallow in your own self pity. We thought it would be so easy. Our son wasn’t planned and we figured, now we’re actually trying, this should be simple. It’s just been the complete polar opposite. The one word that stands out to me the most is: defeated. I see her and how much our situation is affecting her. I feel like shit a lot of the time. -shrugs his shoulders- It’s hard.

Brilliant: Mhm. [she says in a low tone, her eyes resting on him as he speaks into the camera] Defeated. [she repeats after clearing her throat] That’s the perfect word to describe our situation. It leaves me wondering what I did wrong, and asking why this is happening and I never like to question things in life. It also puts me in a tough space at home because I want this so bad, and makes me feel ungrateful for what I already have. I love Justice, our son so much and he’s enough for me, but it hurts to know carrying another child at this point may not be easy or frankly..possible. So this issue has put some hurdles in our lives and we’re ready to fix it.

Zyair: -scratches along his jaw while she speaks, briefly nodding into the camera before shooting her a glance- Yeah, we’ve recently met with a doctor and she did lay out the alternatives but initially, we just weren’t comfortable with it. I know that i’m slowly warming up to the idea. I’m not fully aware of Brilliant’s stance. Like she said before, it’s hard for us to talk about so our true feelings aren’t always grasped by each other.

Brilliant: I actually am not sure of my stance at this point but I do know that it’s gonna take me a little more time to warm up to the idea. I feel like I’m a work in progress, when I’m still working on myself and my emotions, our marriage becomes a work in progress as we try to figure out how to overcome this hurdle. [she reaches out to touch his arm with a smile] I wouldn’t want to do this with anybody else though.

Zyair: -grins in return once she offers a smile- Likewise. We’re such a good team. We always bounce back and push through. Like, i ain’t even tryna get corny right now but my wife is my best fucking friend. She’s the greatest. She’s superwoman. -leans in to briefly peck her lips- I love her with everything in me and we’ll get through this...we’ll get through this.

Brilliant: [she turns towards him as he speaks, a small smile growing along her lips] Thank you baby! [she says with a shy chuckle before returning the peck to his lips] And I love you. This is literally our reality, no gimmicks. We go through shit just like everyone else, and this has been one of the the hardest moments in our marriage. We know there is someone out there going through the same exact thing! And they don’t know if they’ll make it through, and fundamentally we don’t what‘a next either but we’re still pushing and we are certain there’s light at the end of all of this. [she smiles, playfully nudging him] I can’t help but get shy when he gets mushy on me. Should we talk about some goals now, babe?

Zyair: -laughs lowly then quickly kisses her cheek before focusing back onto the camera- We should. I mean, as far as I go, i have family goals. I have traveling goals. But this one right here. -points his thumb in Brilliant’s direction- She’s blowing up in every aspect. It’s brazy. She motivates me, man. Saturday

Brilliant: [she smiles wide as he speaks, pushing some hair behind her ear] I try to be modest. [she chuckles] but I am working on a few things and I’ll be able to share them with you all very soon! Other than that, I’m pretty much focused on my family and figuring out how to turn our three into four or five. We are going on vacation for Zyair’s birthday to the Maldives for the second time so we’ll be sure to do a vlog for guys next month!

Zyair: Five, you hear that? Always talking about twins. They run in my family so she’s hopeful. -chuckles- But yes, i’m ready for the Maldives. Round two. It’s too beautiful and relaxing out there. I just have to go again. That’s definitely in the top 5 of my favorite places. I think we tried to vlog before out there and never edited. Or was that our European tour?

Brilliant: I’m telling I’m tryna’ be on my Beyoncé with the natural twins in 2019. [she chuckles] Yes! The Maldives are beautiful, and we did have an amazing time the first time we went. But yes we did try vlogging once but we didn’t record enough footage but we promise to this time around!

Zyair: Yeah, we got ya’ll on that. No half stepping. -laughs lowly before turning his head to look her way- Is there anything else to add? I think we covered a lot of territory. -looks back to the camera- We’re gonna try really hard to keep it consistent for ya’ll.

Brilliant: That’s about it! We’re just committed to bringing you all quality content this year! We’re also committed to touching on tough subjects like the one I spoke about today because we are full aware that there are so many couples facing the same thing. So thank you all for tuning in!

Zyair: Thank you! And don’t forget to subscribe, comment, hit that notification bell. -points below to indicate- We’ll holla at you next time. -offers a grin before standing soon after and stopping the camera-

View Comments

Jayybee1: notification ganggg!

Samira Taylor: I’m so sorry to hear about you guy’s troubles, praying for you both!

Teeteeluv: I missed this channel! I can’t wait for the new content, and I loved this video. You guys always remain positive.

Ciara Savage: I love how y’all love each other! So sweet.

Diadiamond: Blessings all 2019! 🙌🏾❤️

Brielle Corbin: Don’t forget to vlog the vacay!!!!

[gracieheartspedro]

Stuck With Me (Steve Harrington x Reader) PART 4

NOTE: Hey guys! I am working hard on this fic, wanting it to be just right. Thank you for your patience! I have the next chapter whipped up and woooo is it going to be good! Remember, if you want to be tagged, just private message me! I’m also accepting requests for one shots! 

Warnings: unintentional violence, reader being a savage, cussing

Word count: 2935 

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3

Hopper drops Eleven off at school that following Monday, and I decide to get out with her saying I’d walk her the rest of the way and walk to school. He smiled and nodded, telling us to both have a good day.

“You don’t have to walk with me.” She mumbles as Hop drives away. I just nod, putting my arm around her shoulder.

“Yeah, well I am. I want to meet your friends anyway,” I state, continuing to walk next to her while every kid on the courtyard stares, “I’m trying to be nice.”

I wanted to get to know her better, so that way I may understand her better. If we were family, we needed to start acting like it. So, that Sunday, while laying up in my room alone, I decided I would change my attitude towards the unfortunate situation and start again with Eleven. Or Jane. Whatever she preferred.

“Jane!” A kid yells from behind us. We turn together and a curly-headed boy with squinty eyes waves our way. But that’s his hair was not what caught my eye at first, it was who was driving him.

Steve.

I laugh out loud as the kid runs towards us, slamming Steve’s door behind him.

“This is Dustin,” Jane says, ignoring my initial reaction.

Steve gets out of his car, hanging onto the door, staring at the little group forming around me.

“You coming?” He yells towards me. I shake my head, smiling.

“Give me a minute.”

Jane introduces me to Dustin and Lucas, saying I’m her new “sister”. Dustin wouldn’t stop staring at me, his chubby face never looking away.

“El!” A voice from beside me says. Black hair, tall, and lanky. This must be Mike Wheeler. He hugs her shoulders, pulling her close. Will followed closely behind him, whispering a small “hello”. As I begin to pick up on what Mike was doing, a red-headed girl approaches Lucas, kissing his cheek. He blushes, and they quietly begin talking to each other.

I return my attention back to Mike and Jane.

“Hey!” I yell, pushing his arm away, “No hands on my little sister, Wheeler.”

This boy thought it was okay to roll his eyes at me. Instead of getting actually angry, I chuckle. He really had balls to be treating me like this, but I had to blow it off. Jane probably told him awful things about me, that’s why he was rude. Or maybe he was just a little prick.

“I’m going, El. You staying after school, or do you want me to come get you after?” I suggest.

“I can get Lucas’ mom to take me.” She says, tucking her hands into her pockets.

“That’s nonsense. I’ll swing by and get you. Hopper may give me a gold star for trying.”

She picks up on the sarcasm and giggles, “An award for not being a bitch.”

Everyone laughs, including me.

“That’s fair. I’ll see you then. Bye, little losers.”

I turn towards Steve, who was smiling at me like a goddamn fool. I jog to the passenger's side door, tugging on the locked handle.

“So?”

He was such an asshole.

“So, I want a ride and you owe me. Unlock the car, King of Hawkins.”

He rolls his eyes with a chuckle, unlocking my door. I slide in, and we take off. I wave towards Jane, and everyone waves back at me. Dustin didn’t look too happy about doing it.

“I take Dustin to school every day now, so….” Steve starts, as he turns into the senior parking lot.

“Why?”

“I was his babysitter… He’s like the little brother I always wanted but never wanted at the same time. I help him out with the ladies.” He explains, pulling into his assigned spot.

“You help him out with the ladies? You good at that? Getting the ladies?” I mock, turning myself to face him. He grins, turning off the car.

“Well, I used to be. But now I’m hooked on this one girl who drives me insane, but I really can’t see myself without her.”

My heart was racing. I smirk, turning to the windshield. Looking out, people were just talking on cars and joking around until the bell rang. I, on the other hand, was about to kiss this fucking boy because he really was getting to me.

“Hooked on her, huh?” I say, still not looking back at him.

“Oh, totally. She doesn’t really like me right now because I’m an idiot and mess things up, but I can’t stop thinking about her.”

I turn back to him, biting my lip.

“I don’t think she hates you, but she does agree that you’re an idiot and mess things up. But I heard she’s forgiving and is turning over a new stone.” I jested, taking his hand in mine. I pull him close, leaning in to meet his lips. When they touch, I couldn’t help but smile into it. He did the same until we began giggling together.

“Let’s get to class, Harrington. We can finish that later.” I release his hand, grabbing my bag from below my feet.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he jokes, doing the same.

I meet him at the back of the car, where he slings his arm over my shoulders. I wrap my arm around his waist, as we walk in. We have to walk by Billy and his wannabes, who stop talking and stare. And just when I think we are in the clear, Billy speaks up.

“Hey Hopper,” he begins, “What does the Chief think of your boy toy? Does he think there’s not enough man to handle you?”

Tommy H. decides to speak up, “I don’t think Harrington can handle those mini-skirts and tight tops.”

Steve was about to say something before I speak up. I nudge Steve’s arm off my shoulder, strutting over to these dumbasses, giving them a show.

Tommy H. was first. His freckled face and ugly nose made me want to vomit. I grab his face, slamming him against Billy’s car with all my might.

“Talk to me like that again, or just in general, and I will punch you so hard your freckles will fly off your fucking face.” I leave a little scratch as my hand leaves his face. I smile at all the shocked event-goers, who are staring at me in awe. Billy though was smirking, enjoying the show.

“As for Little Willy,” I look him up and down, “I know you get off at night thinking of me. You think you stand a chance with me, which is adorable.”

People anticipate what I say next, waiting for the climax.

“But, the thing is… You don’t. You smell like old people. You act like a fucking tool bag, and you generally disgust me. The only way I’d lay naked with you, would be if we were both in the same mass grave.”

That got the ball rolling.

“Steve is more of a man you’ll ever be. At least he doesn’t need to show off his six-pack to get girls. His face is the main attraction. You wish you could relate. Because every time I see your face, I am reminded that God has a great sense of humor.”

Everyone in his crew yells, laughing their asses off. I turn, looking over at Steve who is completely impressed. But before I take my final bow, I decide to look back at Billy’s defeated face.

“And one last thing,” the crowd gets silent, “If you want to mention my uncle to me again, he will gladly make a visit to your dad. I heard Neil is good at keeping things in line.”

The bell rings, and Steve grabs my hand to drag me away from the situation. We walk hand-in-hand, but adrenaline is still pumping through my veins. The late bell rings 5 minutes after the initial bell, so I drag Steve to my locker quickly. As I grab my English materials, I realize something.

“Shit…” I mumble, slamming my locker, “Nancy and Jonathan are in my first period.”

Steve looks down at me, pushing my hair behind my ear, “Just apologize. They will understand why you lashed out. They are good friends, just say something to them. If you leave it be for too long then it’ll just get worse.”

I nod, sucking on my bottom lip. “You’re right.”

“I know I am.” He chuckles, grabbing my waist to pull me in for what I’m guessing is a kiss. Before he could, the principal walks by, eyeing us both.

“Later,” I say, pecking his cheek. I pull out of his grip, and jog down the hall, pushing through crowds. I had to make it before class started.

When I make it into the room, I see Nancy and Jonathan sitting together, quietly talking. They look my way, as I travel towards them.

“Hey, guys…”

“Hey,” Jonathan says, “H-how are you?”

“I’m… good. Listen, I just wanted to apologize for Friday. You two got the brunt of my rage, and it wasn’t fair. I am truly sorry.”

They both glance at each other, shrugging their shoulders in sync.

“We weren’t really mad. You’re right,” Nancy began, “My parents don’t really give a shit and Joyce hovers over Will. But for a good reason.”

I nod, accepting that it’s none of my business. “That’s fair. I won’t press it, just know I’m sorry for even thinking it.”

I glance at Jonathan who just nods and smiles. “It’s fine, Hopper.”

With that, class began. I notice that Billy sits in the back, all alone and away from his friends. I could only imagine why. Class flew by without incident, and I traveled to my next period with Nancy at my side. We chatted about random things before I spot Steve. She takes the hint and continues to her class alone, waving me a goodbye.

The rest of the day consisted of Steve making jokes about the morning interaction with Billy, and grabbing my hand a lot. He wouldn’t even work on his classwork because he was so distracted by me. It was cute. It was easy to be around him, our conversations just flowed. When lunch rolled around, we decided to cease the nice weather and sit on his car and eat. After about 5 minutes of chatting, Jonathan and Nancy join us. We all talk around the car, munching on sandwiches. I don’t even notice Nancy’s glare behind me until I hear loud footsteps. I look back as Mike and Will are running towards us at full speed.

“Guys!” Mike yells, finally reaching the car. He was completely panicked and out of breath, “El… El she’s having a meltdown.”

I didn’t need to know more to start running behind them, following them to Jane. They must’ve had been having a recess or something because middle schoolers observed all of us running towards the soccer fields from across the street.

She stood there, staring into the woods that lined the property. I was out of breath and tired, but I knew I had to do something.

Mike started trailing behind me as I got closer to her, but I knew somehow that it wouldn’t be a good idea for him to be close. I glance over at Nancy who holds Mike back, to his dismay. I slowly get closer to her, looking back to see Steve, Jonathan, Nancy, and her friends watching me closely. I didn’t even know what I was going to do, and to be frank, I was terrified.

When I face her, her eyes are wide opened and tentative.

“El?” I ask softly, kneeling to get on her level, “Hey… It’s me.”

“Y/N… It’s coming…” She mumbles, not looking at me.

“What is?”

“The darkness. It’s coming.”

She finally looks at me, her eyes focused on my face. She looks petrified like she saw into nightmare.

“What does it want?” Is all I can think of to say.

“You.”

In that instant, my airways become constricted. I feel like someone is choking me as all the air leaves my chest. I close my eyes, clawing at my neck.

Just breathe!

I watch as blood drips down Jane’s nose. I turn, my vision becoming blurry. Everyone rushes towards me, trying to get ahold of the situation.

Once Nancy grabs Jane, pulling her out of the trance, I finally inhale. My lungs ache as I regain my breathing, so I sit on the grass. Steve pulls me into his lap, as I just inhale and exhale loudly. I watch as Mike holds Jane close to his chest, rubbing her back.

“Call my uncle,” I say hoarsely, trying to stand. I feel weak and winded like I couldn’t function my legs.

“Come on.” Jonathan extends his hand to help me up. Steve gets up along with me, steadying me by holding my waist.

“I’m going to bring her to the nurse to lay her down,” Mike says, basically holding Jane up by himself.

“No,” I begin, turning towards Steve, “Can you take us home?”

He nods, “Yeah, yeah of course.”

I look back at Mike, “Help her to Steve’s car.”

He doesn’t say anything, just continues up to the senior parking lot. Jonathan tells Dustin, Lucas, Lucas’ alleged girlfriend, and Will to head back to class.

We reach the car as quickly as we can. I regained my posture and breathing. Steve unlocks his car, helping Jane into the car.

“What did she say to you?” Nancy asks, her face painted with worry.

“That a Darkness was coming,” I mutter, rubbing my achy neck.

“Why?”

“She said…”

“Because of you!” Mike’s voice rings through the quiet air. I turn to him, dumbfounded.

“What did I even do?!” I yell back. Arguing with a middle schooler in front of your peers was embarrassing but I was sick of his attitude already.

“I don’t know but ever since you got here, her abilities have warped into something completely different. She is distant and quieter and it’s your fault!”

I step closer to the boy, grabbing his arm. I pull him close, my anger sort of getting the best of me.

“Stop talking to me like that,” I begin, my teeth clenched, “We will figure this out but I don’t need your trash mouth going every 10 seconds.”

Without another word, I storm to the passenger side of Steve’s car. Nancy pulls back on Mike’s hoodie as I demand Steve to leave. I look in the backseat and see Jane sprawled out, her eyes heavy, but still open.

“We are going to get you to Hop, okay?” I say softly, as Steve peels out of the parking lot. I reach to the back, taking Jane’s hand, “We are going to figure this out.”

She just nods, closing her eyes and resting her head on the seat. I turn to Steve who glances at me with a sad expression. I take his one hand off the steering wheel, gripping it tightly in my lap. He squeezes every so often, reassuring me.

“You want me to go to the station, right?” He questions, turning down Main Street.

I nod, even though I know he doesn’t see me, “Hopefully he’s at lunch and by himself.”

Soon enough we pull into the parking lot of the station. His truck is sat in his normal spot, and I see some officers eating on the benches outside. Thank God.

“I’ll carry her in,” Steve mutters, unbuckling himself. I get out of the car, helping Steve on the other side. Jane wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him close. For the first time, it wasn’t about him being afraid of her. It was about her feeling safe. He holds her bridal style, not saying anything. We get odd glances by the officers, but I ignore them, opening the door for Steve to take Jane inside.

I see Flo sitting at her desk, eating a salad.

“Can we go back?” I ask simply. Even if she said no, I would go back. She furrows her eyebrows at Jane and Steve, before looking back at me.

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’s just sick. We….” Steve starts to trip up, “We are here to get her insurance card and take her to the doctors. Hopper said we could stop in.”

She takes the lie, gesturing us to head back. I jog to Hopper’s office, the door slightly cracked. I open it up, inhaling the smell of his cigarettes. He’s looking at a paper before he takes notices to us three.

“What’s wrong?” He stands up, pushing his chair farther back.

“She…” I didn’t know how to explain it.

“She had an episode. She choked Y/N. She said something is coming back.”

Hopper helps Steve set her down on the couch in the corner of the office. She comes to, holding her arms out to my uncle. He hugs her, rubbing her back. Steve stands back, reaching for my hand. We stand there in silence until Hop pulls Jane back, to look at her face.

“Hey…” He says softly, “What is coming back?”

She swallows, “I don’t know. I just saw this… fog? It was trying to wrap up Y/N. I didn’t mean to choke her, I was trying to get it off her.”

Hopper glances back at me. I just tilt my head back, pulling Steve’s hand to my lower back.

He returns his eyes to Jane’s. “We will just do what we always do.”

“Which is what?” I coax. Steve squeezes my hand.

“Fight.”

-

[dontshootmespence]

Small Creatures

A/N: Here is my piece (or the start of if people enjoy it enough) for Hannah’s @reiding-and-writing OC/Trope challenge. My trope was “we’re having a secret relationship and no one knows until a co-worker walks in and sees the two of you sucking face.” Well, this one is always meant to be lighthearted, so I want to angst it up to flip the script! I hope you like my OC! @coveofmemories @sexualemobitch @jamiemelyn @unstoppableangel8 @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @stunudo @ragweed98 @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @imagicana @ssajenniferjareau @criminal-navy-writings @killerwithashotgun @ultrarebelheart @the-slytherin-ice-queen

                                                             ----

“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.”

                                                                                                   - Carl Sagan

My name is Atim Matajan. When I was a child, I never imagined I’d feel this free; I wasn’t born into a friendly universe. 

From the time I was eight, I knew I was gay. As you might imagine, this was a bit of an issue as I grew up (until the age of 11) in traditional India, where I was considered a disgrace for loving a man. I was luckier than most though; my mother and older twin sisters knew before I did that I wouldn’t marry a woman, and they loved me regardless. My father was a different story. Now, I haven’t seen the man in years, but he’s what the kids these days like to call a dickhead, a douchecanoe, and other things of that ilk. 

Rajas Mahajan. Rajas means pride. Funny really, because that perfectly describes my father. His pride in his traditional image, that of a business and family man, came above all else - even the job and the family. After a massive fight with my father that I won’t bore you with now, my mother, Janani, packed up herself, my sisters and me and left the country she’d always known to bring us to the United States. Chicago, specifically. A doctor back home, she completed her degree and then basically set it aside to be the traditional, dutiful wife and have children. Devalekha or “Dev” and Namita or “Nami” were born four years before I was. Then I came along. 

Flash forward to me at 11 - my dad’s an asshole and my mom leaves him to come to the U.S., starting at the bottom and putting herself through medical school yet again to become a doctor in the United States. She was, and remains to this day, my idol. My mother is the strongest woman I know; simultaneously the best mother and the best doctor there ever was. 

Flash forward again and Dev is a cardiothoracic surgeon, a doctor just like Ma, Nami is a biomechanical engineer working on some project I couldn’t even begin to describe to you, and I am a profiler with the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, working with the absolute best in the field, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, whom I knew in Chicago and never expected to see after going to college, Jennifer Jareau, Emily Prentiss, the technical analyst Penelope Garcia, who is quite possibly the light of my life, and Dr. Spencer Reid.

Oh, Spencer Reid, with his fluffy, wavy, light brown hair, enchanting eyes and soft smile.

That is a beautiful man. I kiss him. A lot. He’s my boyfriend. Well, he’s my boyfriend and no one knows because can you say ‘work complications?’ The second I began with the BAU two years ago at the age of 27, I couldn’t keep my eyes off Spencer. I suspected he felt the same way about me, but I didn’t have a radar for that kind of thing as so many people expected me too, so I asked him last year if he wanted to go on a date. He said yes, and it’s been amazing ever since.

Work is hard, sure. That’s to be expected given our line of work, but I’ve never been happier, and Spencer hasn’t either, which is an accomplishment I take pride in because Spencer’s life has been a shit show to put it lightly. We make it a point to have date night at least once a week. We text sweet (and sometimes...okay, many times) dirty ones. If time and location permit, we’ll sneak kisses around the Bureau, and lately he’s even started sleeping at my place. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy having him wake up next to me. Unfortunately, last night, he couldn’t stay over without blowing our big secret, so I woke up to a text message from the man I hoped to marry one day. 

S: Morning, gorgeous. I hate that I couldn’t stay over last night. Should I bring in coffee for you this morning?

As I sipped at my own unbelievably crappy coffee, I couldn’t help but smile. He’d stop by the place I loved near his apartment for coffee. I could practically smell the wafting notes of a delicious Colombian roast as I read the message over and over again.

A: PLEASE! My coffee sucks.

S: Because you need a new machine. That coffee practically tastes like metal. You’re probably ingesting heavy metals with each cup.

A: Comforting, babe. Thanks. 

After nearly a year together, I’d gotten used to getting way too much information. At this point, I actually found it pretty endearing. He texted back quickly that he’d pick up my usual order of coffee and cinnamon scone before work and hopefully tonight he could stay over.

Honestly, the day couldn’t go fast enough. Unless there were unforeseen circumstances, there wouldn’t be a case today, so the next eight hours would consist of dry, boring, monotonous paperwork, and if we were lucky, a meeting to spice up the day. Can you sense the internal eye roll? Because it’s there.

Needless to say, the day went exactly as I’d expected. It was like slogging through a sea of molasses - at least until Spencer decided to start messaging me. It started out sweet and did 180-degree turn very quickly.

S: Any chance we can meet in the file room downstairs? I couldn’t kiss you last night and I haven’t gotten to all day. I’m getting cranky.

A: Give me a few minutes. I’m in the middle of a conversation with Derek and I don’t want to just duck out. It’ll make him suspicious.

S: True. Take your time. Just give me a five-minute warning.

Now, Derek. When I moved to Chicago at the age of 11, I was truly confused. Not about my sexuality - that was still steadfast. I’m gay. But I was without a father figure and living in an entirely new country that I didn’t understand in any way. School was miserable for a few weeks. I was coasting the halls aimlessly hoping I wouldn’t get my ass kicked, until I met Derek. Derek lost his father, to a gunshot wound, not douchiness as was the case with me, so I gravitated toward him. Through middle school and high school we were the best of friends. He confided in me about everything - everything except Carl Buford, who I wanted to hunt down and beat senseless until he was dead. When college happened, we parted ways for no other reason than distance, which made it all that much more amazing and funny when I walked into the Bureau to see him again. Things went back to the way they were pretty easily. The only difference was that now I knew about Buford, and he didn’t know about my relationship with Spencer. In time, he would. He loved Spencer like a little brother, so I was positive when the time comes, he’ll be ecstatic for us. “You alright man?” He asked, snapping me out of my daze. “You look distracted.”

I was distracted. But I told him I was fine, wrapped up the conversation and gave Spencer his five-minute warning before heading downstairs.

The second I stepped into our usual meeting place, which at the moment had no camera in it, I grabbed Spencer by the back of the neck and brought his mouth to mind, our lips clashing in a feverish assault that was long overdue; it had been days since I’d kissed him. Too many days. As his tongue crashed against mine, he pushed me up against the wall and took control, rolling his hand up the length of my spine. Shivers followed his fingertips and I found myself wanting more. Damn being at work. 

Passion turned to comfort as I slowed down the kiss and combed my fingers through his hair. We got lost in our little moment, pushing everything else away - the location we were in, the secrecy of our relationship - all of it was pushed to the side as my lips found the side of his neck.

That’s why we were completely taken aback when the doorknob turned and Derek walked in. Immediately, Spencer and I both turned to him. 

Derek Morgan, the king of comebacks and quick wit, was frozen in front of us, slack-jawed and confused. “Morgan, you can’t say anything,” I said in a flash. “We’re trying to keep this under wraps for a while. Please, don’t say anything.”

His eyes glanced between us both. I couldn’t actually pinpoint what he was thinking, and I was pretty sure Spencer couldn’t either. “Morgan?”

Without saying a word, he gave us both an imperceptible nod and walked out the door, leaving us wondering what the hell just happened, and what, if anything, were we going to do.

[blouisparadise]

Here’s a collection of amazing friends to lovers fics that are all bottom Louis/top Harry. These fics are in order from shortest to longest. Enjoy!

1) Lagrangian Point | Explicit | 4055 words

They find each other again the night of Valentine's Day.

2) Just Like Live Wires | 5427 words

Harry climbs into Louis’ bed when he’s cold. Louis pines.

3) There’s Magic In This Life | 7326 words

Harry comes out to the band as bisexual on a Tuesday.

4) Read You Like A Book | Explicit | 8089 words

Louis realises Harry can read his mind. He'll do anything to make Harry admit it. Set during the North American leg of the WWA tour.

5) Makes Perfect | Explicit | 8610 words

"What if you practiced on like, a mannequin?" Louis presses. "Or one of those blow up sex dolls? Or even just like, I don't know, a pillow or something. Whatever it'd fit around."

Harry tilts his head thoughtfully, curls catching the light so entrancingly that Louis finds himself reaching up to push his fingers through them. "It's different, though, innit? When it's a real person. A pillow won't snog me."

"Why should it?" says Louis. "You can't even take its bra off."

6) To Be A Fool | 9156 words

Harry’s perception of Louis begins to change.

7) Come A Little Closer | 9867 words

Louis puts on lingerie. It’s not, like, a thing.

8) Gnossiene | Explicit | 11276 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Louis sets a challenge for himself; it gets a bit out of hand.

9) Won’t See It Coming Til It’s Already Gone | 12631 words

“Tell me that this is a fake,” Peter says, slapping a handful of papers against Louis’ chest. He says something else, something loud and demanding, barely even pausing for a breath, but Louis doesn’t hear it. All he hears is the sound of his own breathing, the sound of his own heartbeat.

Because this - this looks like a marriage certificate.

For a minute, everything stills, quiets. Louis drags his eyes up, meets Harry’s gaze, fixed on him.

Then the noise is back, shouting voices clamoring to be heard over each other, and Harry is still staring at him.

The ring that Louis hadn’t been able to stop noticing in the loo weighs heavily on his hand. His left hand.

10) No Bleeding Hearts | 12651 words

“I’m going to come out,” Louis says abruptly. His grip on the controller is tight, knuckles whitening. He doesn’t look at Harry when he says it.

“What?” Harry says. Louis sucks in a breath through his teeth.

“When we re-negotiate our contracts. I’m going to come out.” Harry fumbles with the controller and manages to set it down on coffee table without cracking it in half.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Harry says. Louis is still pointedly not looking at him.

“I’m not having this argument with you again, Harry,” Louis tells him. He leans forward and deposits his own controller on the table beside Harry’s before standing up. “I’m gonna go to the hotel.”

11) Ain’t No Telling Who’s In Charge Here | 14562 words

The thing about Louis’ and Harry’s dynamic is that while Louis is the instigator of 99% of the foolishness, Harry will always come back at him with something ten times dirtier than whatever Louis had thought up. Of course, Louis can’t let that go, so he does something else, so Harry has to do something else, and then it’s a vicious cycle that continues until one of them makes a plea for a truce.

It’s like that even when they’re at home. Sometimes it’s like that especially while they’re at home, because Louis gets bored easily and Harry is just such an easy target. The point is that the kind of foolishness that Louis is known for doesn’t stop when the cameras stop rolling, so when Louis lets himself into Harry’s bedroom at 5:30 in the morning to annoy Harry into waking up before he goes for a run is completely normal and to be expected.

Except that it turns out not to be so normal.

12) With Love Comes Strange Currencies | Explicit | 16508 words

They're accidentally mated and dealing with it rather badly.

13) Carried Away Like Butterflies | 17234 words

It was probably a huge mistake for Louis to let his former One Night Stand move into his spare room, especially when said One Night Stand doesn’t seem to remember him.

14) Monsters At Home | Explicit | 21566 words

High School!AU. Everyone's eyes are on Harry, the beautiful, charming new student. Harry's only got eyes for the school golden boy: football captain Louis Tomlinson, whose homophobic father complicates matters a bit.

15) Fumbling in the Dark | Explicit | 21599 words

Louis is straight, Harry is not. They still shag a lot.

16) Indestructible | 24243 words

“Hi,” Harry murmurs, and Louis hiccups out a sob.

“Hi,” he manages, still clutching onto Harry’s shoulders. Harry’s fingers drift across Louis’ cheeks, and there’s something off about Harry’s expression, but Louis can’t figure out what it is.

“I’m okay,” Harry says, and Louis is going to say something to that, even if he doesn’t know what, except Harry’s kissing him.

Louis freezes.

17) The Same Ground | Explicit | 27286 words

What if the one that got away came back?

18) Always Come Back To You | 28682 words

“I’ll do it,” Harry offers brightly. No one even blinks. “I’ll do it?”

Louis sighs irritably. “Shut up,” he orders, tossing a pillow in the general direction of Harry’s face. This is a terrible time for jokes, especially Harry’s lame, old people ones.

Not that it was an old people joke. Just that most of the time Harry’s jokes consist of knock-knocks or terrible puns. The type of jokes old people like, Louis’ pretty sure. His nan always finds them hilarious when Harry tells her one.

Harry bats the pillow out of the air without even blinking. “Be reasonable, Lou,” he says in his most reasonable voice.

Louis is perfectly reasonable, thank you very much, and he’s also frustrated and upset and tired and he really wants to punch something. Maybe he should have held on to that pillow a little longer.

“You’re not gonna fucking do it,” he snaps. “That’s the last thing I need.”

19) (Your Heartbeat) Rang True Inside My Bones | 32945 words

Harry goes as Louis’ date for a weekend wedding. He ends up taking the role a bit too seriously.

20) The New Romantics | 36100 words

After being blindsided and dumped by his boyfriend Isaac, Louis does the only thing he can do: wallow and mope. But when Harry tells Louis that karma’s going to get Isaac eventually, Louis decides karma isn’t moving fast enough. He takes matters into his own hands, and if he has to drag Harry into his schemes and seduction plans, then so be it.

21) Runner On Third | 39639 words

The AU where Louis and Harry were best friends growing up, but lost touch after Harry moved away. Ten years later, Harry has moved back to town, but he and Louis don’t pick up where they left off.

22) Roots | 43233 words

There aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous. He’s spent the past couple of years on and off various stages, filled with screaming fans, all chanting his name, loud and adoring. He’s done countless interviews, some even on live, national television, never faltering over his words, answers meticulously planned out, smooth and steady. He’s signed countless autographs, taken just as many photos, and even when he sat in his label’s studio, waiting to see how high up on the charts his single made it, he didn’t feel uneasy or uncomfortable. It’s all been unbelievably fun. No, there aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous.

Enter Louis Tomlinson.

23) Tangled Up In You | 45152 words

“What did you get me, then?!” Niall must hear the tinge of hysteria in his voice, because he’s pulling himself together, trying to stop himself from laughing.

There’s still a big grin on his face, though, when he says, “I got you a professional cuddler.”

A professional…what. “What?”

24) A Promise Lives Within You Now | 45925 words

A Lord of the Rings-inspired Middle Earth AU. Louis is an Elven prince, next in line to become King of Mirkwood, and Harry is the orphaned Human boy who grows up alongside him. They fall in love, but Louis’s obligations to the throne, Harry’s mortality, and impending war threaten to tear them apart.

25) Something In The World Today | Explicit | 48027 words

It shouldn’t be a surprise, the first time that Louis drops to his knees in front of Harry. It shouldn’t be, because it’s been something that Louis has needed for a long time. It shouldn’t be, because he’s been crawling out of his skin for weeks on end. It shouldn’t be, because Harry always makes him feel better. It shouldn’t be, because he’s needed this even when he didn’t know that he needed it.

Somehow, it still is.

26) I Carry Your Heart With Me (I Carry It In My Heart) | 55844 words

Harry thinks he has good reasons for avoiding relationships. Meeting Louis puts those reasons to the test.

27) Amazing Sin | Explicit | 56034 words

The story of Louis ‘Steal Your Man’ Tomlinson.

28) Somethin’ Bout You | Explicit | 59855 words

Of all the government agents in the world, Louis had to go and land the most charming one.

29) Tug-Of-War | 63000 words

Louis’ husband dies suddenly and he is left with nothing. Well, not really nothing. He has Harry. And a St. Bernard puppy named Link, whom his late husband left behind for him. Louis takes care of Link and Harry takes care of Louis. Everything is okay until suddenly, it isn’t.

30) Waiting On You | 76575 words

“Vampires,” Louis says with disgust, glaring over at the vampire who is noisily slurping from the woman’s neck nearby.

 Zayn gives the neat fang marks on Louis’ neck a meaningful look.

 “Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Louis finishes, ignoring Zayn when he rolls his eyes.

Louis takes a long sip of his milkshake, presses his fingers against the marks on his neck, and definitely doesn’t think about the vampire who left them there.

31) Pinkies Never Lie | 83616 words

AU in which Louis hates his job and loves Harry, Harry just wants a distraction, everyone else wants them to get their shit together, and Louis learns the hard way that new beginnings are only possible when something ends.

32) Your Name is Tattooed on My Heart | Explicit | 86809 words

Note: This fic has mentions of top Louis.

Louis is ready to find the love of his life, but first he has to stop falling for the punk rocker next door.

33) Here In The Afterglow | 88649 words

1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

34) Never Be | 117552 words

The one where Harry Styles moves to Connecticut from England for nine months as a part of a study abroad program, and he just so happens to move in with Louis Tomlinson and family.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[grosserfluss]

30 days of suikoden challenge , day 5 ——

favorite star of destiny from suikoden iv

here we gooo the original shitty poncy noble turned antag turned redemption arc also known as my favorite character in s4 and the hands down best unit you can’t tell me otherwise drumrooolll.......... snowe vingerhut!

to be perfectly honest, snowe has one of the best narrative arcs not only in s4, but in my opinion in all of suikoden overall. it’s not only realistic and suitably solemn, but executed in a fashion that makes it believable. considering he’s just about one of the only characters in s4 who experiences any character development whatsoever ( i’m kind of tempted to say the only one...... ), it’s like the development team just put literally all their energy into making his story fantastic and then forgot about everyone else. perks: snowe is fucking amazing. cons: everything else kinda sucks character-wise. not that i’m saying the other characters are exceedingly dry and boring; there are definitely still good eggs in the cast. but none of them get character development; they pretty much stay static throughout the game. nor are they particularly dynamic in and of themselves. snowe is pretty much the only one who doesn’t feel like a trope.

he starts out the game winning trophies in the World’s Worst Best Friend contest left and right. though he’s lazlo’s best friend, it’s pretty much a given that he considers him more of a shadow than how one would really treat their friends. he’s so spoiled and self-absorbed that he never gives a thought to what lazlo thinks or wants — it’s pretty much all about himself and how lazlo can make him look good. he’s not mean to him, perse, but he clearly walks all over him and one gets the impression that he hangs out with him because he likes him, yes, but also because lazlo lets him have his way and because snowe looks good next to him. not surprisingly, he’s also an extremely shallow and immature individual, only allowed to take charge of missions and be in command because his daddy dearest has direct influence on the navy. 

of course, he lets his privileges go to his head — he believes he should be in charge, that everyone should think the best of him, and is just brimming with poncy young nobleman bravado. of course all the other trainees are going to listen to him and support him, because he’s clearly qualified and they’re his friends! the game sets him up wonderfully as a character, and then comes the brilliant moment at the beginning when he drastically fucks up a simple delivery mission when their ship gets attacked by pirates.

here, we find out ( we’d gotten inklings before, but it never really showed itself until this point ) that snowe is a Coward with a capital c. the moment pirates attack, he’s paralyzed by fear and inaction. when people ask him for orders, he totally blanks. and then when lazlo takes over command, snowe is appalled that he “shows him up”. realizing that no one is listening to him ( while he fucking complains about his arm not being able to move, once again showcasing how self-centered he is ) he decides to just abandon ship in a dinghy by himself. later, the player gets satisfaction in watching the commander chew him the fuck out for abandoning ship when he was captain, and praise lazlo for actually getting shit done and fending off the pirates. this moment, of course, becomes the catalyst for all of snowe’s feelings of jealousy as the commander begins to place more trust in lazlo’s abilities ( rightfully, because snowe is a fucking weenis. )

it’s little surprise, then, that when commander glen dies and the rune of punishment transfers over to lazlo, that snowe, not knowing what happened, blames the commander’s death on his friend, resulting in lazlo’s exile. while snowe seems to express some kind of guilt over causing his friend’s exile in what had been a moment of blind panic, he also seems to selfishly realize that this is also the perfect opportunity for him to regain his former esteem with lazlo gone. 

however, no one is surprised when snowe continuously proves himself incompetent over and over again. he gets ousted from the razril and ends up hopping around to a bunch of different places, trying to make a name for himself and get back some of the prestige he once had, joining up with pirates and even the kooluk empire in an attempt to make something out of himself and continue to compete with lazlo. over and over, lazlo and his army encounter him, and each time snowe expresses envy that his best friend is able to be so successful, raising up and leading a unified army, while he continues to fail. he asks “why you?” to which the player doesn’t really have an answer other than snowe’s a fucking immature jackass, but he tries so hard and fails so pathetically because of his lack of understanding that you can’t help but feel sorry for him at the same time, because he just doesn’t get it. he refuses to join you each time out of resentment and jealousy, and you can either kill him or let him go.

if you choose to let him go each time, sending him away in a sad little dinghy after sparing his life, and recruit all the other 107 stars, snowe is your 108th star. i think this is really fitting and symbolic because it’s like your reward for uniting all these people is the chance to give your best friend an opportunity to redeem himself, the one who has clearly thought little of you and sabotaged you since the beginning of the game. the suikoden games focus a lot on the theme of forgiveness — riou and jowy in s2, most notably — but s4′s forgiveness is done so well because, unlike jowy, the player probably doesn’t want to forgive snowe for what he’s done. he was so awful in the beginning, and is the reason lazlo was cast out of razril. he’s been so jealous of you the whole game. but if you choose to be sympathetic to him, you get what becomes a truly equal friendship. the game doesn’t just depict forgiveness for an otherwise sympathetic character, it asks for it from the player for a character who 100% doesn’t deserve it.

and the moment is a truly pitiful one. after you’ve gotten all 107 stars, you’re given the chance to find snowe literally floating on some driftwood in torn up rags for clothing. you’re the leader of a strong, unified army, and he’s hit rock fucking bottom, and when he stands before you and all the people he’s wronged, he knows how low he’s fallen and he’s clearly humbled. he has nothing to say other than “i’m at your mercy”, and when you choose to forgive him and let him join you, he says “i have no choice but to acknowledge how powerless i am. i knew it...i knew it all along”, indicating that he is finally mature enough to realize that everything he’s been doing was out of inferiority complex, and he realizes his mistakes. he thanks you ( for possibly the first time?? ), which shows he’s finally not taking things for granted anymore. the knights surround him in a show of acceptance, and it’s so emotional jfc my heart.

my favorite thing is that his growth comes across in lazlo’s co-op attack with him too. at the beginning of the game, your “friendship” co-op animation consists of lazlo going in and doing all the work, and then snowe coming in and delivering the showy final blow. when you get him again at the end, the co-op has changed to “true friends” and the animation is also different — the two of you are now working together, each pulling his own weight. ( it’s legit one of the best co-ops honestly the dmg output is cray ). i’ve always enjoyed this subtle indication of not only his character development, but also the development of lazlo’s friendship with him to something far more healthy and equal than it used to be.

plus, the fact that you can fish for his alternate outfits that he’s worn throughout the game and dress him up differently is fun. i always put him in his kooluk outfit cause he looks so spiffy and i feel so bad leaving him in those rags haha. he’s also an outstanding unit in my opinion, easily one of the best by end-game. he’s not versatile, but he’s a really powerful melee fighter, and i always stick a fury rune on him and have him doing upwards of 800-1000 dmg per hit, easy. for my play style ( aka. make each unit unto their own one-man army ) snowe is like. the bomb diggity.

so basically, snowe is euram barows but about 20x better. euram was clearly trying to follow the same narrative path as snowe — underdog nobleman who obviously doesn’t have much talent and is trying to sabotage the protag but realizes his mistakes in the end and learns humility. the difference is that snowe, while certainly pathetic and worthy of scorn from the player, is never reduced to farce the same way that euram is. while the player has a hard time taking euram’s bombastic personality and slapstick actions seriously, snowe's repeatedly failed attempts to make something of himself are 100% serious. thus, his endgame redemption feels much more believable than euram’s, which felt really shoehorned in. snowe also shows more inklings of development throughout the game — though he continues to be resentful and envious each time you encounter him, he slowly loses the hubris of early game and starts to visibly question himself well before you get to recruit him, setting up for the moment of his recruitment very nicely. it doesn’t feel sudden or forced at all, unlike euram where it was sort of like you hit a switch and suddenly he got a lobotomy or smth and is now redeemed.

i’ve already written way too much but basically snowe is, in my opinion, the best example of character development and personal narrative in the suikoden series. his early-game self is infuriating, but believable, and his progression through the game is organic and equally well-executed. his redemption is really a redemption — unlike jowy and sialeeds, he didn’t have good intentions for his bad actions. he straight up did awful things and was a pretty awful person. there’s no reason we or lazlo should forgive him. but the point of real forgiveness isn’t to forgive someone you already want to forgive. unlike any other suikoden game, s4 presents us with a character who didn’t have any good, ethical, grey-area reasons for doing what he did, and asks us to forgive him anyway. and when we do, he truly learns from his mistakes and becomes a better person. yells into the void i love snowe!!!

honorable mentions: kika, elenor silverberg, nalkul, ted, helmut