#but like. verbalizing it to another professional just makes me feel like im a failure
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i can’t see The Hometown Menace because of the pandemic and logically that’s probably for the best but this clown is just sad tonight
#knight's personal life#it's completely irrational to think a potential future doctor is gonna be like lol lets hang out in the middle of a pandemic#and yet................... my clown shoes be squeakin#it's just my inner irrational romantic#97.9% of the time im aromantic and then all of a sudden it's like im possessed and rabid#and i keep having dreams about getting married to men i barely know like??????#jesus i probably need to stop avoiding talking to my therapist about him#it's just that. my previous therapist's last session with me before she died#she was like he will never give you what you want#and it's bad enough that after she died i can't shake being in love with him#but like. verbalizing it to another professional just makes me feel like im a failure#because it wont go!!!!!!!!!! away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i just want everyone to be wrong about him#ignore me im just clownin here#i need to get this out somewhere so it's not stuck in my head#but uh. ignore this please
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