#but like. my great-nan died of breast cancer. my nan beat breast cancer twice and then got it everywhere else. my dad beat testicular cancer
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#when i say it's going to kill me i really do mean it tbh#it sounds dramatic and i know im only dwelling because im tired and sore and grumpy and;;; bleeding without cause#but like. my great-nan died of breast cancer. my nan beat breast cancer twice and then got it everywhere else. my dad beat testicular cancer#my gran is currently fighting it. or; waiting for the surgeon to be available to take it out; really#like a whole bunch.#so so to have all that. in my head all of the time#is. is something.#i know i don't have one type of cancer cs the nurse last year said you have to have this one type of thing and if you don't have that#then you don't have cancer - or at least that cancer#but i do know that when i was a kid they were going to do preventative top surgery on me#they decided against it for reasons im not clear on tbh and i wasn't told any of this at all at the time (~13? ish?)#anyway. yeah.#if beyonce or whoever it was that singer that famously got a mastectomy whenever that was elective thingy#then hi hello can i have top surgery and a hysto now please. like now. right now.#or at least have an end date on the bleeding please i would like one day not to hurt please#im so tired and so fed up and i just would love to not think about how my body's going to kill me at some point? right?#ugh
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