#but like. it's november now ans they still haven't

[fitzhastoomanysideblogs]

Suddenly realizing part of the reason nobody hasn't taken me to get an ID is most likely because they didn't want to registering to vote this year (I am the only adult in the house who wouldn't be voting for trump)

[nahidshafreen]

Thursday

November 17, 2022

01:42 am

It's midnight again and I have so much to do and say and fix and I didn't get much ticked off my list yet, I haven't done much yet and I have so much to do but what I'm doing instead right now is sitting with lipstick on, again;

It's like a new coping mechanism, somehow everytime I get sad I end up with red lips or nails. Red it is, still.

I have conversations to sit with and knit, I've got responsibilities to deal with ans things to get done and I have so much left to figure out and I've barely been able to scratch the surface yet.

I've got questions to answer and I have answers to hunt down, I have pieces to find and seekers to be found by;

There are unread texts in my inbox and unwashed dishes in the kitchen, unsolved puzzles in my head and abandoned notes on my laptop, unfinished books on top of my cupboard and unsaid words in my mouth.

I wish I could just dump all of it somewhere so I'd not be crushed by the weight of it and I wish it was possible to have someone who would lift it all off of me, and me, even if it's just temporary. I want to exist without this for a while, as if this doesn't belong to me in the first place and as if my existence isn't intertwined to it like my flesh to my bone.

but here I am, sitting with my lips painted red again.

maybe it's my new way to cope with what I'm being consumed by, it's still red, but a safer red;

-nahid