#but like. idk man i feel like im staring at a wall made of frozen mud you know?

[virmillion]

we are. (: we’re really goin thru it lads

[cherrybracelets]

Heat Waves

weed dealer!mgg x reader 

masterlist | requests

word count: 5.5k | warnings: 18+ content! drugs and alcohol mentions and usage. no smut but partying!

summary: your brother has a new roommate, and fuck, you might be in love with him? 

song inspo : heat waves - glass animals 

an: this gif is how i imagine him in this fic like w glasses but way less nerdy ahahha ok well whatever idk if im gonna continue this or just leave it as is lmk what yall think ok byeee

You stumbled up the steps of the subway, the heavy cardboard box you were holding slipping out of your hands as you made your way above ground. You tried to adjust your grip on it and almost fell backwards, shaking your head in frustration. The box was filled with all the random shit your brother had left at your place over the past few months as he was trying to find a place to live, sleeping on different couches of random friends. It was almost all useless stuff, which made the fact that you had to hand deliver it all to him even more frustrating.

You walked tirelessly down the street, gripping harshly on to the box. You pushed your way through people, not caring at all that you probably looked insane as you yelled for people to move so you could just get there and fucking put this box down. You finally came upon the building, sighing with relief as you set the box on the steps and rang the buzzer.

“I’m here,” you groaned into the speaker, wiping your forehead with the back of your hand.

“Hello!” A cheery voice responded over the intercom. A voice that was definitely not your brothers. “Who exactly is here?”

“Oh, sorry- I might have the wrong apartment. Is this 4B?”

“Yeah! You must be Danny’s sister. Come on up.” The door buzzed loudly as it unlocked, and you grabbed onto the handle quickly, lugging in the box behind you. You were extremely grateful when you saw the elevator, quietly thanking the universe that you didn’t have to walk up four flights of stairs with this thousand pound box.

You took the elevator up to the fourth floor, your body exhausted as you leaned back against the wall and took a deep breath. You closed your eyes, hoping that maybe a five second nap could give you your energy back. But unfortunately, the elevator stopped and opened its doors, urging you to once again pick up the box and be on your way. You dropped your head to the floor and sighed, using the last of your energy to pick up the box and walk down the long hallway to apartment 4B.

Thankfully the apartment wasn’t too far from the elevator, and you only had a short walk until you came upon the door of his new place. You noticed a welcome mat on the floor that read ‘Bachelor Pad’, and you rolled your eyes at the pure douchiness of the thing. God, your brother was a prick. But, nevertheless, you loved him, he was family. Despite being one of the most annoying people you’d ever met.

You knocked slowly on the door, excited to throw the box into someone else’s arms and run home. It was your day off from work, and all you wanted was to throw on some sweats, eat frozen mac and cheese and watch Jeopardy until you fell asleep on the couch. The perfect day.

The door swung open, and the man who was definitely not your brother stood on the other side, a large smile plastered across his picture perfect face. His messy curls hung across his face, and he pushed them away before reaching out to you to grab the box.

“Let me get that for you,” he said quietly, literally lifting the weight off your shoulders as he grabbed it effortlessly. The muscles in his arms protruded as he set the box down on an old dining table they had set up in the kitchen, a cluster of mismatched chairs along with it.

“Thanks,” you said back, your eyes still trailing over his body, watching him closely. “Is, uh, is my brother here?” You stuttered to get your words out, your eyes still locked on the model-like man in front of you.

“No, he just ran out actually. Went to pick up a couch or something.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. He told me he would be here!” You shook your head in annoyance, crossing your arms over your chest, which pushed out your cleavage slightly. You caught the man glancing at your breasts, and felt your heart start beating a bit faster. He wasn’t even trying to the fact that he was staring at you. “I’m sorry if I’m bothering you. He really was supposed to be here to get this.”

“It’s not a problem at all. He told me you’d be stopping by. I’m Matt, by the way. I’m sure he’s told you about me.” He stuck out his hand, and you reached back and grabbed it. His hands were soft, but the tips of his fingers stained black, the familiar site of a smoker. The air hung the smell of stale pot smoke, so it was pretty easy to put together that he was a heavy weed guy. 

“I’m (Y/N). And, uh, no, actually. He hasn’t told me, like anything about you. Just that he knows you from work and you’re a ‘pretty decent guy’,” you laughed, letting go of his hand but desperately wanting to hold on to it forever. You didn’t really understand why, but something about his touch was so comforting, it made you feel like coming home after a long day.

“Uh, I was just about to smoke a bowl actually, if you’d like to join. Your brother told me you smoke,” Matt said, motioning to the coffee table covered in various paraphernalia.

“I don’t make a habit of smoking with strangers,” you responded sharply, realizing immediately how bitchy you must’ve sounded and wishing you could take it back. You scrunched your face a bit, cringing as you replayed the sentence over and over in your head.

“But I’m not a stranger! I’m Matt! Besides, this is fantastic stuff- I just got it from my guy the other day, knocks your socks off,” he giggled, his eyes wide as he wanted to desperately for you to say yes.

“Well, I guess I really can’t say no to free weed,” you shrugged, following him over to the old couch they had set up in their under furnished living room. It was exactly how you pictured your brothers apartment to look- disappointing and not at all coordinated.

“Sorry about the place, we’re trying to make it look nice but we’re not exactly interior decorators.” He shook his head as he looked around the room, before picking up his freshly packed bowl and lighting it.

“Yeah, it looks pretty frat-housey in here. I would expect more from you, but not from my brother,” you giggled, taking the glass pipe from Matt’s hands and enjoying it yourself.

“Why me?”

“Well... I don’t know...” you stuttered, shaking your head and trying to pull together a sentence. “You just seem to have... more style, I guess. Seem more put together.”

“I appreciate that. I do try extremely hard to not look like a douche.” He smiled kindly at you, his eyes shining with the reflection of the lighter as the two of you continued to share the bowl.

You made small talk for a bit, feeling the calm of the marijuana taking over your body. The old couch suddenly became much more comfortable as you sunk back into it, staring at the patterns on the ceiling. Matt was talking quietly behind you, trying to tell some story about him and your brother; but you were only half listening, losing yourself in your own thoughts of him. Thinking about the softness of his lips as he inhaled and exhaled, watching his hands flex tireless to work the lighter, noticing how his body seemed to relax more and more with each hit.

He tilted his head towards you, flicking the lighter with his thumb and escaping in the flame. He had lost himself in it, a comfortable silence coming down over the room. You watched the flame, too, trying to see whatever beauty he saw in it- but you weren’t feeling anything, and getting pretty antsy. You turned away from him, staring into the kitchen and hoping to see something edible from this distance. You weren’t sure what kind of food two men like this would bring into their home, but you were sure it was nothing good. Your stomach grumbled at the thought of something to eat, and you fell back into the couch with a groan.

“You okay?” Matt whispered, turning his face towards you and staring at your eyes.

“Mhmm,” you responded, not having the energy to respond at the moment.

“You are extremely beautiful,” he mumbled, his eyes exploring your face, finding themselves locked on your lips no matter how hard he tried to look away.

“What?” You snickered, replaying the words in your head, feeling your heart pounding out of your chest.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to be weird. It’s just shocking to me how beautiful you are. Like a piece of art; I can’t take my eyes away.”

“You’re joking.” You rolled your eyes at him and pushed his arm playfully, trying to hide the obvious delight in your face.

“Why do you think I’m joking?”

“I just don’t hear that very often.”

“Well, that’s disappointing.” He frowned, looking down at his hands and playing with his over bitten nails.

“Sorry, I mean, I appreciate it of course. Fuck, sorry, I get so awkward when I’m high. Not very good at holding conversations.”

“Well, now that we’re friends I’ll make sure to remind you how beautiful you are as often as I can.” Matt placed his hand on yours lightly, at first only as a friendly touch, but feeling a comfort in the embrace. His thumb moved slowly, the small movement between your flesh overwhelming you with desire. Your eyes were locked on his, an intoxicating silence overcoming the room. You opened your mouth to speak, not sure exactly what to say, but the sound of the door unlocking breaking you from your daze. You pulled your hand away from his quickly and jumped off the couch, watching as the door opened and your brother walked in.

“Heyo!” Danny, your brother yelled, greeting the two of you with a large smile. “I see you’ve met my sister!”

“Yes, uh, yeah. We were just chatting,” Matt said defensively, trying to avoid eye contact with you.

“I was just waiting for you to get back. That’s all.” You responded, nodding your head quickly.

“How sweet! Just in time to help me get the new couch up!”

“Absolutely not. I brought your box, that's all the free labor you are getting out of me.” You laughed awkwardly, looking back at Matt, who was still avoiding you.

“Alright, whatever, but don’t ever ask me for anything ever again.” Danny rolled his eyes, throwing his phone down on the counter and grabbing a beer out of the fridge.

“Well, I should get going. I’ll see you tomorrow night for my party?” You asked, heading towards the door.

“Oh, right! I almost forgot. Is it cool if I bring Matt?” 

You looked at Matt, who finally looked back at you, and you nodded slowly.

“Of course. I’ll see you guys then.” You smiled at the two of them, gave a small wave and left, closing the door loudly behind you. Fuck. What the fuck was that? Was he flirting with you? Or was he just high? You closed your eyes and leaned your head against the wall, trying to compose yourself before heading home.

***************

There was nothing that stressed you out more than when your roommate threw her chaotic ‘get togethers’ every other Friday at your place. It was always an exhausting mess, and now you had to think about Matt coming along as well. You hadn’t stopped thinking about your weird intimate moment together, and the thought of seeing him again made your stomach do backflips.

There was something about him that made you feel so comfortable, so at home. But he’s friends with your brother... he has to be a scumbag. Right? And what kind of guy just walks around telling random girls they’re beautiful. He was definitely just trying to sleep with you. Which of course you wanted to sleep with him too, obviously. But he was the kind of guy that you could find yourself falling for, and getting hurt, badly. He was the kind of guy that would break your heart. You could tell. And you could not let him in, no matter how much you wanted to.

Tonight has to be all about ignoring him. You cannot let him be alone with you, because the moment he’s alone with you and starts calling you beautiful again with his pretty face and intoxicating voice and touching your hand... you were playing a dangerous game. You closed your eyes and let out a deep sigh, trying to push the thoughts of him out of your head when you were interrupted.

“What are you doing? I told you to get the cups set out like 20 minutes ago!” Your roommate rolled her eyes, pushing you to the side and laying out the cups herself.

“Sorry, Callie. Just a bit distracted today.”

“I can tell. What’s going on with you? You were weird all night last night.”

“Just tired I guess. Don’t worry about it. I’ll go set the drinks out.” You walked away quickly, hoping she would be too focused on her party planning to ask any more questions. Whenever you told her about a new guy, she was stupidly optimistic. And you really didn’t need her telling you to go for it when your brain was giving you the exact opposite advice. She just shrugged, turned around and went back to mindlessly setting up. You felt relief wash over you as she looked away, and you could once again get lost in your own thoughts and anxieties.

You mindlessly laid cups and other dumb decorations out, Matt’s face continuously crossing your mind. You found yourself smiling every time you played his words over in your head. His voice like silk as it wrapped around your body, warmth flowing through you as his lips whispered ‘You are extremely beautiful’ over and over again. You felt your heart racing, and you took a deep breath as you were brought back into reality by the vibration of your phone in your pocket.

You grabbed it, only to see you had multiple missed calls from your brother. ‘Fuck’, you thought. He knew, he somehow knew about your little flirt session with Matt. You shook your head in distress, preparing for the oncoming conversation as you reluctantly pressed the answer button and brought the phone to your ear. 

“Hello?” You muttered, squeezing your eyes shut to bear the impending rage from your brother.

“Jesus, I've called you like 18 times? What’s your deal?” He laughed, his voice full of his normal light and cheery tone. You took a sigh of relief after you realized he didn’t know a thing.

“Sorry, uh, helping Callie set everything up. Must’ve put my phone down and forgot it somewhere.”

“Well I need to know what liquor and illegal substances you’d like me to bring tonight- I’ve only got like an hour!” He said urgently.

“Uh, honestly whatever you want. We’ve got a few bottles here but nothing you’d like, probably.”

“You sound distracted, you all good?” You could head the concern in his voice, and you rolled your eyes aggressively.

“Everyone keeps asking me that today and it’s pretty annoying. I’m just trying to set up a party I don’t really want to be involved in and everyone keeps bothering me!”

“Jesus, grumpy pants. Looks like someone needs a nap... or a blunt.” Danny laughed quietly, and you bit your tongue to stop yourself from yelling at him again.

“Sorry. On edge today. Don’t want to talk about it.”

“No worries. I’ll see you later, okay? Try and cheer up a bit by then, I’d like to make a good impression on Matt.” Danny hung up quickly after that, and the word ‘Matt” kept ringing in your head over and over like a church bell. You put your phone down on the table and looked up at Callie, who was adjusting your work on the cups table.

“I need a drink,” you groaned.

“A little pregame shot, I love it!” She squealed, prancing over to the bottles and pouring shots for the two of you. You downed yours quickly, letting the liquor burn through your insides. You were hoping, after enough of it, it would burn through any thoughts you had of him. 

After another shot, the next hour before the guests arrived flew by. Callie put on some music and you danced your worries away, deciding which outfit to wear by rampaging through your closet. You kept fighting the urge to look as sexy as possible, one half of you wanting Matt’s jaw to drop as soon as he saw you, and the other half wanting him to ignore you all night. You couldn’t resist the temptation, though, and chose an extremely well fitting and low cut dress that accentuated all of your best features perfectly.

“God, you are literally the perfect specimen,” Callie giggled as you walked out of your room to show off. “Who the fuck are you trying to impress?”

“No one!” You responded, raising your eyes at her. “Can’t I just look good for myself?”

“Not that good. That is for someone. I know you.” You were saved by the ringing of your doorbell, and you smiled, relieved.

“Whatever you say. Go welcome your guests,” you motioned to the door. Callie just rolled her eyes and walked gleefully over to the entryway to welcome your first partygoers.

A few more groups of people rolled in, and you paid no attention as you were too busy making yourself another strong drink. You poured sloppily into the cup, giggling as splashes of soda and vodka spilled down the sides of your cup.

“You better watch out there, pretty girl. Making quite a mess.”

You turned around quickly, Matt’s voice making you jump in surprise.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” He smiled brightly, his perfect face begging to be touched, adored, kissed. You looked at every part of him, every beautiful part of him, stuttering to get words out.

“No... you’re... it’s okay. Sorry.” You put the bottle back down on the table and picked up your cup, taking a large swig, and nearly gagging on the taste of the strong liquor.

“Can I get in there and make a drink?” His eyes travelled up and down your body, his lips slightly pursing at the sight of you. You felt your heart pounding through your chest and he eyed you. His eyes finally locked on yours, his gaze paralyzing, your body refusing to move.

“Of course. We have lots of options. Anything you want,” you managed to squeak out, still unable to draw yourself away from his gaze. His eyes didn’t leave yours, and he smiled slightly, reaching his hand out to grab a bottle. For a split second you thought he was reaching out to touch you, and when you thought about the feeling of his skin on yours, you felt yourself melt. Desire and craving washed over your body in a wave that you couldn’t push away even if you tried.

“Thank you. I’ll see you around, (Y/N).” He finally looked away, and began walking back towards the small group of people who had gathered in your living room, including Callie and your brother. You felt relief as you were able to breath again, your body relaxing as he got farther and farther away. You waited a few moments before following him to join the rest of your friends.

“Ah, there you are, my sister!” Danny yelled, wrapping you in his arms so abruptly that you almost spilled your drink everywhere.

“Hey bud!” You hugged him back, grateful to have someone here to take your mind off of Matt.

“We were just about to play a fun little ice breaker game, since Matt is new to the group and all,” Danny motioned to Matt, who smiled and waved awkwardly as everyone stared at him.

“An ice breaker, really? What is this, college orientation?” You joked, taking another swig of your intensely strong drink.

“Shut up. Don’t be such an ass.” Danny rolled his eyes and pointed to an empty seat, and you realized it wasn’t worth fighting him. He loved to play stupid little games like this, that everyone else dreaded. But you have to admit, everyone always ended up having fun at the end of the day.

“What’s the game, Danny boy?” Callie cooed, getting comfy on the couch between a few of your other friends. She always had the biggest crush on him, although you forbid her from ever getting near him. It wasn’t her, you loved her and would love it even more if she was your sister. But he was such a dick, you knew he would break her heart, and you would not stand for that.

“Easy, everyone shares one surprising fact about themselves.”

“Oh god, I don’t think I have any,” someone moaned, and Danny just laughed.

“No worries, plenty of time to think. I can start. Uh.... I slept with my professors wife in college as revenge for him giving me a C- on my final.” Danny smiled proudly and took a long swig of beer. The group around you just groaned in disgust and laughed, but you knew the story. That wasn’t the entirety of it at all, in fact, Danny had fallen desperately in love with this woman and she crushed his heart by choosing her husband over him. But he would never tell all of that, because that doesn’t sound cool. Apparently you weren’t the only one who knew the truth, though, because Matt instinctively turned to you and looked at you in a way that read, ‘This guy is so full of shit.’ Apparently Matt and your brother were closer than you though, if he told him his biggest secret. 

“Hmm, Matt, I think you should be next. Only fair since you’re the new guy.” Danny turned to Matt with an excited face, like a little kid on christmas.

“Oh man, alright. Well, I guess one thing that people have a hard time believing about me is that I am a bit of a hopeless romantic. I believe in soul mates, love at first sight. All of that bullshit. I’m a sucker for it.” Matt looked right at you as the words spilled out of his mouth, not even trying to hide the obviousness of what he was trying to say. You tried your best to look away from him, but you couldn’t pretend his words weren’t entrapping you.

“That’s super corny, bro,” Danny laughed, pushing Matt slightly. He just shrugged, and took a sip of vodka straight from the bottle. Danny bothered a few more people about their secrets, and you listened intently to stories about shoplifting and coke addictions, trying to avoid his obvious gaze. You knew he was staring at you, his eyes burning holes in your body as the liquor started to flow through him. He wanted you, he craved you, in a way he had never experienced before.

Love at first sight had always been a myth to you; something in books and movies. Fiction. Until you heard the words slip from his mouth. Love at first sight, soul mates. It was all impossible. But why couldn’t you stop thinking of him. Why did his state send shivers through your body? Why did it feel like you had been waiting for him your entire life, even though you just met?

“(Y/N)! It’s your turn!” You heard Danny yell, bringing you out of your thoughts once again.

“Uh... what’s going on again?” You murmured, the alcohol overcoming your brain as you tried to remember the dumb activity you were being forced to participate in.

“Alright, you might need to slow down on the drinks girl.” Callie laughed, pointing at the cup in your hand.

“I’m fine. Just lost my train of thought!”

“Tell us a surprising fact about yourself,” Matt chimed in, a flirtatious smile plastered across his face.

“Uh, right. Well... I have a really huge record collection. It’s kind of my hobby.” You shrugged, nodding your head slowly as the group around you seemed let down by the less than flashy secret.

“You’re kidding! I collect vinyls too. I have like a thousand,” Mattresponded, his eyes lighting up at the realization that he finally had a way to talk to you.

“You should show him your collection, (Y/N), it’s ridiculously impressive,” Callie said, nodding in excitement. Your heart stopped at her words, hoping that Matt would say ‘Another time!’ and you would forget about the entire interaction. But you knew he would take up any offer to be alone with you; and a part of you was hoping he would.

“I’d love to see it,” Matt said slowly, his voice now a serious tone as he waited nervously for your response.

“Uh... of course. Does anyone else want to see?” You asked, in one final last ditch effort to protect yourself from being alone with him. But the room had already moved on from you, and no one even heard you ask the question. You looked up at Matt, his perfect smile once again showing itself.

“Guess it’s just you and I, pretty girl.” He whispered to you, his hand on your shoulder. He leaned in as he spoke to you, as if to keep the nickname a secret. You looked around in hopes that someone noticed, someone would put a stop to it. But everyone had already moved on, started new conversations, brought themselves deeper into a state of inebriation. No one saw either of you, and you could easily slip away into the night with him. 

You stood up slowly, and motioned for Matt to follow you into your room. He eagerly followed behind, not a single soul in the room even realizing you were leaving. You felt your heart pounding in anticipation and nervousness, not knowing how the next few minutes would play out. You took a few deep breaths to control yourself before opening the door to your room and letting Matt follow.

“Open or closed?” He asked, his hand gripped on the door handle as he awaited your response.

“Closed. I don’t like people seeing my personal space,” you said, moving over to the shelves that held your vinyls. Matt nodded and closed the door lightly, following you over to your collection. 

You walked to the corner of your small, cluttered bedroom. Sat in the corner was multiple shelving units, all packed high and bending under the weight of your numerous records. Next to the shelves was a small desk, which your record player sat beautifully on top of. Your room was overwhelming to a stranger's eye, but every single thing in there had a purpose, to you. It was your sanctuary. And it wasn’t a place you regularly invited strangers. You barely ever let Callie or Danny in there. But seeing him stand there, gazing in fascination at your records, felt very comfortable. You knew that he would respect your space, and not question it. It was a nice feeling to be able to share something so private with someone. 

“Wow... this is amazing (Y/N)... you have fantastic taste in music,” he whispered, running his hands up and down the records.

“Thank you. Some of them I don’t really listen to, they’ve just been collected from garage sales and thrift stores over the years.” You watched him in awe, every feature glowing in the low light of your room. He smiled at certain titles, pulling things out delicately to look at the covers. He was beautiful, perfect. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him.

“Do you wanna smoke a blunt?” He asked, turning to you in excitement as he pulled out a bag of weed from his pocket.

“Of course. Just crack the window,” you responded, your eyes still locked on him.

“Perfect! Let’s listen to something, too. Do you mind rolling so I can pick something out?” He asked, handing you the plastic bag. Your hand touched his as you grabbed it from him, and you felt time freeze as your skin made contact. He was warm, soft, angelic in his touch. You wanted more, you craved more. But you let go, pulling yourself away.

You watched him pull out various records and contemplate what to put on as you carefully rolled a blunt to smoke. His face was focused and concentrated, and the furrow in his brow made you smile. You couldn’t help but smile around him. He finally pulled out an album you immediately recognized as (Y/F/A).

“How did you know?” You asked, watching him as he delicately took the record out and placed it on your player.

“What?” He giggled, biting his lip as he looked up at you.

“That's my favorite album.”

“You’re joking. It’s mine, too.” He looked up at you, your eyes once again meeting. You didn’t need to speak to know what was going through his mind. The two of you were both thinking the same thing. He broke the stare first to start playing the music, his hands gently placing the needle on the record.

The music began quietly, but filled the room around you. You lit up the blunt and began to smoke, a wave of happiness coming over you as you took in your surroundings. A beautiful boy, your favorite music, some fantastic weed. It was paradise. It was pure bliss.

You smoked the blunt in silence, both of you taking in the beauty of the music, no need for words. You watched him, his movements, enthralled by his every move. The light from the blunt lit up his face in an almost angelic way, making your heart race every time he took a puff. The more high you got, the more you wanted to touch him, feel him, kiss him, love him. Love at first sight, it’s bull shit, right? But what if it isn’t? What if it’s sitting right in front of you?

“Dance with me.” Matt said, standing up quickly and reaching out his hand.

“I... what?” You asked, giggling slightly at the man who was standing in front of you.

“Dance with me. You know you want to.” He raises his eyebrows at you, hand still stuck out waiting for you. You rolled your eyes, a small laugh escaping your lips as you grabbed his hand and stood up. He wrapped his other arm around your waist and pulled you close to him. The smell of smoke and mint immediately overtook you, the warmth of his body wrapping you in comfort. Being in his arms, it was the most calming feeling in the world. It was the best feeling in the world.

In that moment, nothing else mattered to you except being with him. You would do anything to hold on to that moment. You reached your hand up to his face and touched it gently, the softened of his skin flowing on your fingertips. You brushed the few stray wisps of hair away from his face before bringing your lips up to his.

There are many different types of kisses in the world. You first kiss, which is awkward and usually terrible. A sad kiss, one where you know it will be your last kiss for a while. A lustful kiss, where you can’t keep your hands off of each other and want nothing more than to rip clothes off. But this kiss... this was a kiss you had never experienced before. It was a kiss that filled your entire body; flooded you with light and calmness, made every bad thing you’ve ever felt disappear into thin air as your lips pressed against his. It was a kiss that you knew was saved especially between two people who were meant to be. A kiss between soul mates.

As your lips worked effortlessly with his, everything else in the world disappeared except for you and him. You melted into each other, two paints seamlessly coming together to create a beautiful piece of art. You never wanted to let go of him. You never would, if it was up to you. But you needed a second, a second to catch your breath, a second to ground yourself back to reality.

You pulled away from him, your hands still locked in his hair and his on your waist. “We should go back out there. We don’t want to look suspicious,” you whispered, suddenly remembering the circumstances that led you in here in the first place.

“Of course, that’s for the best. But I promise you this is not the end of us.” Matt kissed your cheek and winked flirtatiously before heading back out to your living room. You sat quietly for a moment, your heart racing and your breathing unsteady. In that moment, you knew that was it. That was the last first kiss of your life.

[generallynerdy]

Everything (Daryl Dixon X F!Reader ft. Baby Dixon)

Summary: Trudging into DC after the prison fell, Daryl Dixon thought he’d lost everything. Then Aaron came along with a picture of Daryl in his bag, claiming that (Y/N), his girl, his (Y/N) gave it to him for safe-keeping. At first, he didn’t believe it. But then Aaron told him something about (Y/N) that only the two of them were supposed to know-- and he started to believe that everything was waiting for him in Alexandria.

Key: (Y/N) - your name Warnings: cursing, mentions of death, some grieving, assumed death, pregnancy mentions, newborn babies, lots of emotions but they’re sweet i swear Word Count: 2,859 (praise paul i’m actually productive)

Note: woops im obsessed with twd again. Thanks for putting up with my long hiatus and enjoy! I may have ideas for a part 2 where daryl adjusts to fatherhood and then negan Fucks Shit Up-- you know, as he does. Then maybe part 3 after the time skip where beth and judith get up to Shenanigans?? Idk if i feel like writing it but it sounds fun so we’ll see

    In a barn not far from Alexandria, Aaron was having a rough day. It wasn’t bad-- not yet anyway-- but it did get significantly worse when Daryl Dixon shoved him against a wall.

    “Where the hell’d you get this!?” He was shouting as he put a knife to Aaron’s neck.

    See, Daryl had been perfectly content to leave the new guy to Rick and Michonne until something in his bag caught the archer’s attention. It was a picture-- a picture of Daryl.

    “Where’d you get it!?” He asked again.

    Rick took the picture from Daryl, getting a good look at it. It was taken from a guard tower back at the prison, one that was probably rubble now. Daryl was leaning over the guard rails, a cigarette in his hand and a smile on his face.

    “Where’s (Y/N)?” Daryl growled.

    Suddenly, it made sense to Rick. The picture belonged to (Y/N).

    “Back at my community,” Aaron said quickly. “She’s safe, I swear.”

    “You keeping her prisoner?” Rick questioned with a fire in his eyes, the one that was lit when others threatened his family.

    “No, no! God, no--!”

    Daryl interrupted. “Then why’s this with you?”

    “She gave it to me,” Aaron claimed firmly. “She gave it to me so that I’d know you if I ran into you, so I could bring you to her. I was hoping it would be a surprise, but--”

    “How do I know you ain’t lyin’?” Daryl shot back, unfaltering. “That she’s alive?”

    “Because she told me something, something only the two of you know.”

    After a pause, he lowered the knife. “Tell me.”

    Aaron glanced around the room. He wanted to keep this between them, as (Y/N) had asked him to. So, he looked back at Daryl, lowered his voice to a whisper, and said:

    “The baby’s okay.”

    The first week was the hardest. After the Governor, after Terminus, after Beth, all Daryl could think about was (Y/N).

    “We’ll find her, Daryl,” Rick kept saying. “We’ll find her.”

    But after days of searching and finding nothing, he was ready to give up. One night, Rick said it again and he just snapped.

    “We ain’t gonna find her!” he found himself shouting.

    “You don’t know that--”

    He cut his friend off. “Yeah, I do! ‘Cause we been lookin’ for days and ain’t nobody findin’ nothin’! (Y/N)’s dead, alright?! Give it up!”

    He stormed off, unsure if his last words were directed at Rick or himself.

    Later, Rick found him sitting in the woods by himself. He sat down beside him silently, waiting for a sign.

    “Sorry,” Daryl finally mumbled.

    “It’s okay. I know you and (Y/N) were close,” Rick sighed. “She was a damn good friend.”

    “I loved her.”

    The confession slipped out before he could stop it. Shame hit him as soon as he said it, his face going red.

    Rick turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah? You ever tell her?”

    “Every day,” Daryl finally admitted, a weight falling from his shoulders.

    His friend broke into a massive grin. “You two were together? Why didn’t you say anything?”

    “Didn’t want to with all the new people,” he shrugged. “She knew it’d freak me out.”

    “Did anybody know?”

    He paused before nodding. “Beth an’ Hershel.” Before Rick could ask why them, he went on. “Look, about (Y/N)--”

    He was cut off by the distant call of Rick’s name. The man in question sighed and, as he left, promised to finish their talk later. Daryl, however, took it as a sign and decided that it was already over.

    “It’s your decision,” Rick said later. “If you think she’s still out there, if you wanna stay, we will. We won’t stop looking.”

    Everyone knew it was hard for Daryl to make the call, but they didn’t know just how hard.

    He didn’t tell Rick why Hershel and Beth knew about him and (Y/N). He thought it was better to shoulder that weight himself-- the weight of leaving a pregnant woman behind.

    “What’d you say?”

    Daryl had frozen when Aaron said it. The question came out as a whisper, a horrified whisper, which was a tone that most present had never heard from him.

    Aaron nodded a single time, the epitome of understanding. “I think you heard me.”

    Daryl was suddenly overwhelmed. He took a threatening step forward, knife in his hand again. “You--”

    He apparently decided against skewering him, though. Instead, he stormed out of the barn like his feet were on fire, hiding his face and his unshed tears from the rest of the group, who stared at him questioningly.

    Rick was in Aaron’s face in an instant. “What did you say?”

    “You’d better ask him.”

    Without another word, Rick followed Daryl out of the barn, suddenly feeling like there was more to Daryl and (Y/N) than his brother had told him.

    Outside, Daryl found himself a tree and climbed it. Normally, he would’ve just sat down, but his hands felt like he needed to be doing something-- maybe punching someone-- so he climbed instead, ignoring the scratches the rough bark left on his palms.

    Once atop his chosen branch, it took everything Daryl Dixon had not to cry. His lips quivered as he stared out into nothing.

    He knew Rick was on his way over and he was begging himself to keep it together. This wasn’t what he needed, it wasn’t what the group needed. He needed to pull himself together and decide whether Aaron was telling the truth.

    But some part of him, deep down, already knew the answer. Why else would Aaron know that only (Y/N) and Daryl knew about the baby? She would never give that up to a captor.

    So, (Y/N) was still alive. She’d been alive this whole time and he hadn’t been looking for her. His child and his girl were out there alive and here he was, sitting on his ass in a damn tree, crying about it. He could hear Merle’s laughter in his head.

    But thank god for Rick Grimes.

    “Daryl?” He called up. “You good?”

    He let out a shaky breath, wiping at a few stray tears that had escaped. “Y-- yeah, yeah, ‘m fine,” he managed.

    Rick could tell it was bullshit, but he didn’t push. “Is he tellin’ the truth? Is (Y/N) with ‘em willingly?”

    “She told ‘im what she did by herself, if that’s what ya mean,” Daryl told him.

    There was a pause while Rick debated whether to ask him what Aaron had said or not. Daryl knew he had to tell him. The rest of the group wouldn’t just go on his word-- they needed Rick’s, too.

    “The baby’s okay.”

    Rick blinked a few times. “What?”

    Reluctantly, Daryl removed himself from the tree, landing on the ground in front of Rick. “What he said. He said the baby’s okay.”

    His friend’s eyes widened in sudden understanding. “(Y/N) was--?”

    “Yeah,” he mumbled, still not sure if he wanted it said aloud. “Beth an’ Hershel knew ‘cause (Y/N) an’ me were flippin’ our shit, not knowin’ what to do.”

    “So they’re okay?” Rick asked. “She and the baby-- Aaron said they’re okay?”

    Daryl nodded. “My kid’s okay.”

    His blood brother couldn’t help the smile that overtook him and he pulled the man into a tight hug. “We’re gonna figure this out,” Rick told him firmly. “We’re gonna get ‘em back.”

    “Put your weapons down!” (Y/N) found herself shouting from behind the cabinet.

    She’d found shelter in an abandoned house for the last day or so. She wished she could’ve kept staying in the old gas station she found, but unfortunately walkers decided otherwise.

    Two heads appeared from the doorway and soon enough both men had their hands in the air.

    “We don’t have any weapons,” the taller one said quickly. “We’re here to help.”

    (Y/N) stopped at that, a frown painting her expression. “What?”

    “We’ve been watching you,” the second man said. “You got close to our community, so we kept an eye on you.”

    “We wanna help,” his friend said, picking up where he left off. “I’m Aaron, this is Eric.”

    (Y/N) hesitated, her gun still lifted high at them. She hadn’t gotten off the floor, but her head peeked out from behind the cabinet just enough that they could see her.

    “Help? Why?”

    Aaron shook his head with a small smile. “What kind of people are we that would turn a blind eye to a pregnant woman in the middle of the apocalypse?”

    She had to pause for a moment. He was making a good case for himself.

    “What’s your name?” Eric asked.

    “(Y/N),” she muttered.

    Aaron frowned. “Have you always been alone?”

    “No.” She decided they were asking too many questions and lifted her gun again. “Tell me about your community.”

    “It’s called Alexandria,” Aaron told her. “It has massive steel walls-- they’ve been there since the beginning. Most of our people have never been outside. We have food, running water, solar power, a sewage system; you name it. It’s safe and it’s open to you.”

    “We have a doctor, too,” Eric interrupted. “He can help with the baby.”

    Almost as soon as the words left his mouth, a little cry sounded. Aaron’s eyes widened as (Y/N) moved to hold her baby.

    “You already--?” He gaped. “I’m so sorry. I hoped we’d be here before, so you didn’t have to deliver on your own out here.”

    (Y/N) shook her head, rocking the baby and whispering reassurances to it. “A doctor?” She asked them. “Walls? All of it? Can you prove it?”

    Aaron nodded, gesturing to his bag. “Yes. It’s all real, I swear. You just have to trust us.”

    Looking between these two men and her child, (Y/N) decided to take a risk. It was this or solitude-- again-- and that was something she wasn’t sure they would survive.

    Being interrogated by Deanna only made Daryl more twitchy. He’d been itching to go off and find (Y/N) since they walked in the gate. Aaron had wanted to take him immediately, but the woman in charge had different ideas.

    “I wanna see (Y/N),” Daryl had told her, refusing to go upstairs.

    “And you will,” she reassured. “But I need to do this first.”

    During the interview, she asked him about (Y/N), about the baby. He got a little defensive when she asked if it was his. Of course it was! God, she was getting on his nerves.

    Finally, finally, it was over and Daryl rushed downstairs again, intending on finding Aaron immediately.

    “Alright, Abraham, if you could--” Deanna began to say.

    She was interrupted when the door to the house creaked open. Eric walked, er, limped in first, followed by Aaron. He was leading (Y/N) in, but kept her eyes covered.

    “I hate surprises,” she told him.

    “Oh, you’ll love this one,” he laughed, meeting Daryl’s gaze. “Trust me.”

    Daryl’s heart wrenched. He couldn’t see her eyes yet and she had no idea he was there, but his heart was already torn in half. Tears came to his eyes and he dropped his crossbow. The others were awestruck as well, but none of their reactions compared to his.

    “Three, two, one, and--” Aaron removed his hands. “Ta-da!”

    The moment Aaron’s hands dropped, a strangled gasp escaped (Y/N)’s mouth. She covered it with her hands, eyes filling with tears.

    “Oh my god,” she sobbed.

    She threw herself at Daryl, who welcomed her with open arms. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, shoulders shaking as he wept with relief. He held her so tightly that it hurt, but she didn’t have the heart to tell him.

    “You’re alive,” she said finally when he lifted his head. She placed a gentle hand on his cheek. “Oh god, I thought I was alone.”

    “Thought I lost ya,” he murmured, pressing their foreheads together.

    Then, he kissed her-- that sweet, gentle kind of kiss he’d give her every morning when he was overwhelmed with the joy of waking up beside her. It was the same kiss they shared when he slipped into the guard tower each night, smiling like a stupid teenager who’d gotten a night alone with his girlfriend. That kiss was good as “I love you.”

    Behind Daryl, everyone but Rick gawked.

    “Right. Now might be the time to mention that they’ve been together the whole time,” the cowboy snorted.

    “Yes!” Carl cheered instantly. “Michonne, you owe me a Big Cat!”

    Glenn stammered. “Seriously?”

    Rick grinned almost mischievously. “It gets better.”

    He didn’t get the chance to explain himself, because (Y/N) pulled herself away from Daryl and looked over at him with a smile.

    “Hey, Rick.”

    “Hey, yourself,” he greeted back, lifting his arms for the inevitable hug.

    As she wrapped herself around him, they heard Eric sigh. “Oh, that was so worth the volleyball injury.”

    (Y/N) went around the room, saying hello to old friends and introducing herself to new ones. Deanna then borrowed Abraham for an interview and Aaron began to take Eric to the infirmary. But he stopped himself, tapping (Y/N) on the shoulder and motioning vaguely toward the door.

    She gasped and turned to Daryl. “You have to meet her! I’ll be right back.”

    She raced out of the building, leaving a shell-shocked Daryl behind.

    “You hear that?” He asked Rick, eyes wide.

    Rick smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “Welcome to the club, brother. Hope you don’t like sleeping.”

    “Well, I’m lost,” they heard Carol mutter.

    “Not only were these two together--” Rick begin, a gleeful grin on his face, “--they were expecting.

    The others gaped, especially Daryl’s best friend. “Why didn’t you say anything?” She asked him seriously. “You didn’t have to carry that yourself.”

    Daryl shook his head. “We woulda killed ourselves lookin’ for ‘em. Couldn’t lose nobody else,” he admitted sheepishly.

    The creak of the front door gained everyone’s attention. (Y/N) shuffled inside, a bundle of blankets in her arms. Daryl immediately stepped up, but she shook her head and motioned to the couch. The couple sat down, instantly surrounded by their friends, who all wanted to get a look at the baby.

    (Y/N) went to pass her to Daryl, but the poor man was frozen.

    “Ain’t changed since Judith was born,” she teased, her voice warm. “You can hold her.”

    He took the baby then, though his hands were shaking. He cradled her as though she would shatter with one wrong move. Slowly, he moved his fingers to stroke her tiny hands, a loving smile emerging when her little fingers grasped his thumb.

    “She’s perfect,” he muttered, placing a kiss on her forehead. His voice cracked, but no one said a single thing about it.

    “She’s got her daddy’s eyes,” (Y/N) remarked wistfully.

    They sat in brief silence, everyone watching the baby wiggle in her father’s grasp. Daryl was perhaps considering the full 180 his situation had just made. Everything he thought he lost was right there in his arms. (Y/N) was right, too, he realised. His little girl had his beautiful baby blues.

    Aaron and Eric departed, seeing as the latter was due for an infirmary visit. Both (Y/N) and Rick thanked them as they left; Daryl was too distracted.

    Michonne was the next to break the quiet. “Does she have a name?”

    Daryl, curious, looked to (Y/N), who shook her head. “Didn’t feel right,” she admitted to him, “without you.”

    Almost immediately, the group was offering ideas up like they were drinks.

    Daryl looked down at his daughter and, cutting through the chatter, announced: “Beth.”

    They all went silent.

    “She an’ Hershel took care of us when they found out,” he explained, looking up at (Y/N). “She watched for ya when I was on runs an’ after-- after the prison she helped me get my shit together.”

    (Y/N) nodded and rested her hand on top of his, the same one that their little girl held so tightly to. Meeting his eyes, she was glad she waited on the name. This meant everything to him; being able to name their kid, to call that kid his own.

    (Y/N) then looked to Maggie, who sniffed and wiped at tears as she leaned into Glenn.

    “She woulda loved that,” the woman rasped, her voice breaking.

    “Beth Dixon,” (Y/N) announced, “the luckiest kid in the whole damn world.”

    She saw the way Daryl looked at her when she said Dixon, like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest in the best way possible.

    He pulled her and the baby close as the others congratulated them and celebrated with them. Even on the darkest of days, this memory would light up their whole world, he thought.

    Beth Sophia Dixon, they decided; for the girl they couldn’t save and the girl who saved them. And (Y/N) was right.

    She was gonna be the luckiest kid in the whole damn world. Daryl would make sure of it.

(Requests are currently closed. I’m finishing up my old ones.)

Masterlist

[jichew]

college!hyunsuk au♡part two

a/n: the long awaited part two is here!! thank you all again for the love on part one :((( idk how to make links so you if you haven’t read that, just go through my ygtb imagine tag to find that. I thought this was much needed considering all the hate suk is getting lately :/ feel free to leave any questions/asks/comments in my inbox! mwah ♡ 

so it’s been a while since the night of the party

first things first, mina and gon are a couple nowヽ(*＾ω＾*)ﾉ

you really never thought you could see any of your friends in a romantic relationship but these two go so well together uwu

they’re kind of like the resident mom and dad couple

and because of that, your two friend groups have officially been adopted by them!!

and at first you were lowkey scared of his friends ,,, esp seunghun

but when you found out he’s actually just a puppy in a buff man’s body , shit got LIT

idk what i meant by lit, it just seemed to fit

anyway

so you guys basically hang out every day, usually congregating at the boy’s place bc they’re sophomores and have their own apartment

and u and hyunsuk are basically besties now

now,,, you can’t deny you were very attracted to him before

lol don’t tell anyone but u still kinda are(๑>◡<๑)

but you just assumed it was surface level and decided he was better as a best friend anyway

so basically you guys found out you share a bunch of the same classes

and now you guys walk to all ur classes together!!!

and suk brings u iced coffee in the morning

and walks you back to your dorm at night

and sometimes you guys hold hands

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

you’re also his calculus tutor now

and in return he buys you food!!

usually that would be a pretty good tradeoff but tutoring hyunsuk is so,,,hard

“so can you complete this problem using integration by parts?”

“if you give me a kiss on the cheek, yes”

(O_O)

this man is really after your heart isn’t he

hyunsuk flirting with you is kind of a common occurence

“fuck you suk”

“fuck me yourself you coward”

(´⊙ω⊙`)

anyway,,,,,

usually it’s just harmless pickup lines

but sometimes,,,, you’ll be doing homework or listening to lecture, and he’ll just stare at you

“what r u looking at”

“how pretty you look today”

HOW DARE HE

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

and you can’t help how your heart flutters when that happens

but also, you have to force yourself to snap out of it bc this is hyunsuk we’re talking about :///

he’s just so ,,, out of your league

not only that, but you were sure he had this flirty nature around everyone

and even if he did magically end up liking you, you didn’t want to risk losing him as a friend

(◞‸◟)

sad hours: activated

so it’s been a few weeks and the guys decided to throw a party before everyone left for thanksgiving break

obviously the whole gang™ is invited

tonight,,, you are NOT drinking

bc you are a responsible individual who has decided to be the designated driver for the night

＼＼\\٩( 'ω' )و //／／

but some other people have different plans

right as you guys walk in the door, your eyes are immediately drawn to hyunsuk

perhaps it’s because he looks so completely ethereal with the top few buttons of his dress shirt undone, smile glowing under the dim lights of the living room

or perhaps its because he’s taking shots like there’s no tomorrow

hhnnggggg

and your inner mom is just like

“HYUNSUK NO”

“HYUNSUK YES”

and then he downs his fifth shot of the night

so now you’re hyunsuk’s babysitter for the night

y/n, you really outdid yourself

so after maybe two hours of smacking solo cups out of suk’s hand and watching him try to wall twerk to eyes noes lips,,,

he’s FINALLY gotten tired

\( ˆoˆ )/

so now you guys are just chilling in the living room

most people have left so its just the og gang

and hyunsuk’s just laying on the sofa with his head in your lap

(^-^)

and normally you would find that cute, but you’re still kind of mad at him for getting so drunk

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

but you can’t help yourself from playing with his hair bc you’re whipped lol

anyway,,,you’re kind of zoned out of the conversation and you’re pretty sure hyunsuk is falling asleep

until you feel his hand grab yours while it’s still in his hair

which kind of brings u back to reality

and u look down at suk

and he’s just looking up at you with his eyes all crinkly and a goofy smile on his face

and he’s just like

“y/n you’re so pretty” (´∀｀)

and you’re kinda like (^.^) but also ur like

“lol suk ur drunk”

and then he’s like

“NO”

and suddenly he’s sitting up and hugging you super tight, his face buried into your chest

at first your like (o_o)

because this is hyunsuk and his face is literally in your boobs hhngg

finally you snap out of it and you’re like

“THATS IT, IM TAKING YOU TO BED”

and suddenly everyone’s just looking at you two like

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

and you’re like

(・・?)

and you realize hyunsuk still has his face in your boobs

and suddenly he properly sits up

and brings his face really close to yours

and you’re just frozen like (°_°)

but you can’t help but notice how soft his lips look right now

and the way he’s staring at you, you just know he knows the effect he has on you

and you’re wondering how socially acceptable it would be if you just closed the distance with your lips

and you suddenly realize how frantically your heart is beating

“you want to take me to bed?” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

this HOE

FINALLY u snap out of it

“t-that’s not what i meanthhbbdjnj”

and you’re just stumbling over ur words

and suk has that drunk dopey smile on his face again

and everyone’s still looking at u two like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

and you just take his hand and drag his short ass up the stairs and make him lay in his bed

“i love a woman who’s domineering in the bedroom” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“shut the FUCK up” (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

but once suk is finally tucked in his bed

he calms down

and as ur about to leave

he grabs ur wrist quickly

and u weren’t expecting it so you kind of stumble on to him

and you guys are really close in proximity again

and he whispers in a soft voice

“y/n, you know i like you right?”

you can’t lie that your heart stutters for a second

but you smell the alcohol in his breath

so you heave a sigh

and gently kiss his forehead

“sweet dreams hyunsuk”

and you leave the room

uhhh so like fast forward two days to the monday after the party

you,,,, have kinda been ignoring everyone

ESPECIALLY hyunsuk

you’re just so

hnbbggggghhhhhdhhdhbdh

＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

so here’s the thing

you like hyunsuk

you KNOW you like hyunsuk

you’ve basically admitted it to yourself that your head over heels for him

and you KNOW he doesn’t feel the same for you

but the way he acted with at the party the other day made you think different

and you’re so CONFLICTED

i mean he was drunk????

if he actually liked you, wouldn’t he act that way when he WASN’T drunk?

and it just makes you sad more than anything

so you stay in your dorm all day

and you ignore suk’s calls

because he’s been calling you since the next morning

but you can’t bring yourself to hear his voice, let alone TALK to him

and you know there’s no way he can get to you bc you’re in your dorm all day

until you hear a knock on your door

and you look through the peephole and see mina

and you’re debating opening the door or not bc you really look and feel a mess and you’re just sad and embarrassed

“I KNOW YOU’RE THERE OPEN THE DOOR OR I’ll KICK IT DOWN MYSELF”

and you lowkey believe her

so you open the door

and you look at her

and she looks at you

and then you just start SOBBING

as if you weren’t already a mess, you’re even MORE of a mess now

so mina has closed the door and guided you to your bed

and she’s just letting you cry, patting your back and whispering comforting words

and when you finally calm down

you look up at her, tear tracks marking your cheeks, your nose red and runny

“mina, i really like him” (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

“i know”

...and you’re sobbing again

and then when you calm down again you’re like

“i don’t even know why i like him!! like sure he’s good looking and sure he has great fashion sense and sure he’s nice and cares about me and takes care of me and ...”

...surprise! you’re sobbing again

and mina just lets it happen

she knows you’re going through it

and when you’re finally out of tears

she looks at you and she’s like

“it’s ok to like him. it’s ok to like a guy. so what if he may not like you back? not that that’s true, but you never know until you try! and if he doesn’t, so what? you know your worth! and you are worth so much! don’t let a guy stop you from living your life, because you are so much more than that.”

mina for president 2020

and you look up at her

(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

you’re so lucky to have her as a friend hhnng

so you’re feeling better now

and you skipped your classes on monday, because you were still getting it together

and you didn’t have any classes with suk on tuesday

and you think he knows you just need your space

bc he’s stopped calling you

but he’s still texting you

and you may have checked them and you may have squealed bc he called you babe

anyway

it’s wednesday

you know what that means

it has come full circle... the dreaded 9 am chem lecture

so you leave your dorm extra early

because you know you need the time

and you get to your class at 8:50

and right as you’re about to enter the building, you feel a hand grab your wrist

and by now, you know who it is

so you let him lead you a little away from the building where no one was

and he finally turns around and looks at you

and you can’t find it in yourself to look him in the eye

so you just look down at his hand that is still holding onto yours

and you gently pry his fingers from around your wrist

and you let your arms rest at your sides

“y/n....why have you been ignoring me”

you already feel tears coming on

but you bring your hands together in front of you, still staring at the ground

“it was only three days” you mumble

and he’s quiet for a sec

“i missed you”

lol ur rlly whipped and you know it

you finally look up at him

and he just has the most devastated look on his face

and you can’t tell if it’s the glare from the sun, but his eyes look watery

and he his lips are pouted

and he just looks like a kicked puppy

and everything in you is just SCREAMING to hug him and apologize and tell him everything will be ok

but,,,,you have to do this ... for yourself and mina ＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／

so you take a deep breath and look him in the eye

it takes a while for you to formulate words but

“why do you always flirt with me like that?”

“wha-“

“when you know i like you, why would you play with my feelings like that? i thought you had some respect for me, but it’s so degrading when you lead me on just to reject me later! this isn’t some game suk...”

you finally take some time to breathe and take a look at him

and his face is just blank

and his mouth is kind of open

and he’s staring at you ~like that~

and you’re about to snap at him again

but then he opens his mouth to say something

“...you like me?”

you’re kinda confused

“obviously, you know this already???”

he just stares at you for a little longer

and he kind of looks like he’s about to cry again

“...no i didn’t”

uhhh huh

now you’re the one who’s speechless

he takes a little step closer to you

your heart is starting to beat really fast again

“you know i only every flirt with you right....and it’s not because i think it’s funny, well i mean it is kinda funny -“

you: ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

suk: ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

“anyway.... i only ever flirt with you... because i like you too”

he kind of whispered the last part

but you heard it

and you’re looking at the ground but you can’t help the smile growing on your face

so you just close the gap and hug him

and he’s kind of unresponsive at first

but he lets his arms wrap around your waist and pull you closer to him, his head falling into your hair

and you can’t see his face but you know he’s smiling bc u are too

you lean back a bit to look at him

and you notice the way his eyes keep flickering between your eyes and lips

and as much as you would love to kiss his pouty lips, you have to put ur foot down

“NOT IN THIS HOUSEHOLD WE ARE LATE FOR CHEM LECTURE”

and that’s the beginning of a beautiful relationship

･:*+.\(( °ω° ))/.:+

[jui-imouto-chan]

Part 10 of the Mostly Human AU

Level Select:

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Getting through to the last of the suggestions from @manadrite ‘s most recent comment (as of posting this)! I love having suggestions, keep ‘em coming!

Connor isn’t one to get terribly scared. He actually gets a thrill from scary situations.

His sense of self-preservation is startlingly low, for a being granted with immeasurable intelligence. At least, that’s what Hank claims.

Furthermore, Connor loves Horror. From movies to novels to images, he loves things made to be scary.

- Connor may or may not have had a weird crush on Slenderman for like a week. 

Maybe it was the towering height and the lack of a face, or maybe it was the slim fitting suit that made the creature so appealing to him.

Okay maybe Connor has a suit kink.

When he sees Gavin in an officer’s clothing and finds the man slightly attractive, it’s clear that he just straight (pfft) up has a uniform kink.

Connor will take this newfound information to the  g r a v e.

Connor goes to see a horror movie with Hank and the twins, and he’s ecstatic. 

He puts all of the pieces together detective style to figure out how the protagonists are either gonna die or solve the problem while Collin and Conan grip their seats a bit too tight and while Hank mutters flaws about the movie under his breath.

“This scene does not include a lap dance.” 

“What was that?” 

“Nothing!”

By the end of the movie, Collin and Conan had migrated to partially hide behind Connor, and Connor points this out to them.

They lie and say they were getting sleepy, and were dozing off on his seat.

Connor goes with it with a knowing smirk and a wink, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

Connor goes missing one day.

They try to give him a call when he they don’t see him that morning, but they receive no answer.

Hank and the twins storm through the house, upturning furniture and looking under the beds, in the closets, outside. He’s nowhere to be found.

They call up all of his friends, but nobody knows where he is.

The DCPD gets at least fifteen calls all at once reporting Connor missing.

While everyone is freaking out, Connor is actually, in fact, not missing.

He is out for a walk, Sumo at the vet’s for a check up and grooming, and he spots an animal shelter/pet shop. 

There are dogs and cats in cages by the windows, and Connor gravitates towards them without thought to anything else.

He enters the shop and, after talking with the person behind the counter for ten minutes, is surrounded by animals, all vying for his attention.

He’d never seen a cat before this, and honestly, he now holds cats to the same regard as dogs. 

It’s his first time seeing a lot of animals, all of them immensely cute. He giggles when a rabbit nibbles on his pointer finger.

The employee who allowed this to happen is melting against the counter, everything is too much. Too cute. 

The employee pulls out a camera and records, knowing the manager would love to use this as an ad. 

Connor already gave his consent for any media that his interaction might appear in, so it’s all gucci, even though Connor’s too preoccupied with the animals to even realize he’s being recorded.

Connor is there for a few hours, all of the time considered blissful to the android.

The video was sent to the editor as soon as the employee got clips of Connor interacting with each and every one of the animals. 

It's edited impressively quickly, yet still professionally; the editor accredited it to “passion”. 

When the ad goes up on all of the shelter/shop ‘s social media, with Connor tagged in the photo, everything halts.

Connor finally registers that his phone, being sat on by two guinea pigs, is ringing.

He answers it, and is disappointed when he's told to return home immediately by Hank. Hank sounds angry, distressed, and relieved all at once.

The employee reassures him, telling him that he can return whenever he’d like.

There’s an issue when Connor is on his way home, however, as he gets attacked. 

A man tries to mug him with a knife to his throat, pushing him into an alleyway, and while Connor manages to push him away, he doesn’t anticipate the man having accomplices.

He gets a few surprise stab wounds that go into some biocomponents, but their timers are set to at least an hour before he shuts down.

He defeats his attackers and sends Hank his location, telling him that he needs emergency care needs to be taken to Kamski as soon as possible.

His systems kick him into sleep mode against a cold alley wall to preserve thirium, which leaks copiously from his many wounds.

Connor wakes up to the ceiling of Kamski’s “operating” room, vaguely wondering if the past few months had been the equivalent of a dream, if he had imagined all of the friends he’d made and all of the things he’d experienced.

The thought...saddens Connor.

Luckily, a few minutes after he awakens, he hears Hank’s gruff voice and a plethora of footsteps approaching the room he’s in.

Connor goes to sit up, but winces in pain. His movement brings up a prompt, asking if he’d like to interface with the android equivalent of an IV, though it contains a liquid that promotes self-reparation at the cost of his mental capabilities being lowered until his wounds are healed.

TL;DR, it’s the closest Connor can get to pain killing medication.

He accepts the interface and he suddenly feels...oddly happy?

Everything is moving around the slightest bit and Connor can’t help but smile. Everything was great and he was having fun, sitting on the table. 

He giggles drunkenly.

His wounds are slowly closing themselves, and he scoots to the edge of the table while humming an unknown tune. He smiles triumphantly once his knees finally hang over the edge, he kicks them and rocks his head side to side.

When everyone enters the room, he’s surrounded by people and get-well gifts and he’s just so happy. He really doesn’t think of the consequences of his actions.

So that’s exactly why he thanks them all with hugs and kisses, skin tingly and buzzing while his chest feels warm and full.

The members of Jericho are frozen when he gives them all kisses to the cheek, and then all of them simultaneously slap a hand onto their cheek and stare at each other with pink faces. Daniel and Simon both duck their heads while Josh pulls his hood over his face and rugs on the drawstrings. North is suddenly more occupied with poking Markus’ red cheeks and teasing him as he shakes.

Hank tries to fight him off, but eventually relents, ruffling his hair bashfully. Conan and Collin both turn their heads as he approaches their cheeks, leading to him kissing both of them on the lips, though he just laughs good naturedly when they both nod at each other and go to opposite sides of the room, ears red.

Ralph and the Jerrys are surprisingly shy when Connor kisses them, but Ralph gives him a kiss on the cheek back, while the Jerrys all rub their necks and look away with silly grins.

Luther and Kara let Alice take their share of kisses, and she presses a kiss to Connor’s nose.

Rupert tries to escape Connor, but the brunette grabs his sleeve and gives him a kiss to the temple. Rupert immediately tries to flee the room, and Connor waves. Rupert hesitates before waving back and running away.

Connor goes to give Gavin a kiss, too, but the detective shoves a homemade cupcake in his mouth before he can. He still manages to give the guy a hug, though.

Kamski approaches, by Connor’s hug and kiss for him are stolen by Chloe, who had just snapped out of her shock at seeing Connor surrounded by a goddamn harem.

She growls at everyone in the room, sans Alice, Hank, Kara, and Luther.

Kamski is kinda concerned?? People don’t growl like that, wtf.

Also, he’s kinda upset that she’s keeping him from getting affection from his own creation but he’s not about to let his head get ripped off today

Chloe says that there’s too many people in the room, it’s getting late, and that Connor should get some more rest so that he can recover completely.

She tries to sound pleasant, but she really just sounds threatening af

Once she’s sufficiently scared the fuck out of everyone there and gotten them to leave, she puts her hands on Connor’s shoulders and tries to explain that nobody is allowed to touch him bc he’s too precious and, “nobody deserves you. This world doesn’t deserve you. The G-Man in the sky doesn’t even deserve you u pure boi.”

He doesn’t remember a word of this in the morning, but Chloe doesn’t know that.

He goes home in Hank’s car, Sumo already back from the vet and now laying across his lap, and finds out that Conan and Collin are at registration for their next year of college 

(lol idk if thats something u have to go do at college, im 15 and clueless)

Next Level: College Care Packages and Birthday Parties (suggested by @supposedlymatureadult )

X | Continue to Next Level

O | Save Progress and Quit to Main Menu

————————————— •

I think I got carried away with the kissing but I just really wanted Connor to be overly affectionate. At least I didn’t go down the sexual route.

Leave suggestions in the notes or in my ask, along with any questions, comments, and anything else!

Side note: If you want to receive notice of this AU but not the other random things I post/reblog (don’t worry I‘m not offended if that’s the case), I’m marking them all with #Jui’s Mostly Human AU in the tags, so you can follow that instead if that’s preferable!

[loljulie]

flicker; {006} the tide

(okay so this is part may feel a bit slow? idk maybe it’s just me bc im overly critical of my work lol. i was going to write another scene into it but i was already hitting a large word count so count on the next part being more crazy. i went to see niall horan last niGHT and i’m still recovering tbh. i’m so happy to see more and more people become interested in this fanfic and just in general want to be apart of it more! thank you so much for all that <3)

genre: detroit: become human

deviant!connor x reader

word count: 2850

▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓　 d̯̱̝̠̘̙͙e̼̯̣̗͈͇̳v̥̗̭̹̫ia̘̝͔͙͙̜ͅn͈t͇͓̦̻s̙̗͉̜͕  　▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓

@dragonempress123​

@itstrashleydude​

@chisooyaaa​

@help-i-need-a-social-life​

@shadows-echoes​

@sygin​

@mavvsmm​

Whiteness surrounded you on all sides as you rested against Hank’s car. Your first order of business that day was to visit Elijah Kamski, who lived in almost the middle of nowhere. The bleak, winter forest around you was undeniably breathtaking and serene, but your eyes were trained on a snow-covered hill as your mind wandered. A few feet from you, Hank was pacing back and forth.

It had been a day since Stratford Tower, and there was no shortage of public opinion and outcry. Though it was unspoken, you had the feeling that Hank realized there was no stopping the deviants. Yet, the three of you continued on with the investigation, all unsure of what to even do next.

The car door creaked next to you, pulling you from your thoughts. Connor stood by you, and offered a small smile. He had been at the foremost of your mind recently, as you constantly worried about his deviancy becoming known and the future of deviants.

The two of you approached Hank and began walking to the front door of the sleek, modern residence. Hank and Connor spoke to each other, though the nature of their conversation was lost on you as you instead peered out at the snowy dock and frozen water.

Hank rang the doorbell. A playful, 3-toned tune could be heard from inside. The three of you waited for a few seconds before Hank grew impatient and reached for the doorbell again. As he was about to press the button, the door suddenly opened, revealing a beautiful female android. She was silent as she waited for somebody to speak.

“Hi, uh,” Hank started, breaking the silence. “I’m, er, Lieutenant Hank Anderson. This is Lieutenant (Y/N) (Y/L/N). We’re from the Detroit Police Department, here to see Mr. Elijah Kamski.”

“Please, come in,” the female android smiled and moved out of the doorway to let you all in. She closed the door behind you and notified you that she would let Mr. Kamski know you were there.

You followed Hank and sat down in one of the waiting chairs to the left of the room. Connor walked around, seeming to take interest in a photo on the far side of the wall.

“Nice girl, nice place,” Hank stated, as he looked around the room. “Guess androids haven’t been a bad thing for everybody…”

A few minutes passed by before the door the female android disappeared into re-opened. She stood off to the side and smiled at the three of you.

“Elijah will see you now.”

You got up from your chair and walked into the next room. You were slightly shocked to see a bright red pool take up the center of the room, with Kamski still in it. Two more female androids, looking identical to the one who let you in, were by the side of the pool.

Once Kamski was out of the pool, Hank did the honors of introducing you three.

“I’m Lieutenant Anderson, this is Lieutenant (Y/L/N),” he gestured between the two of you, then to Connor. “And this is Connor.”

“What can I do for you, Lieutenants?” Kamski asked, glancing between you and Hank.

“Sir, we’re investigating deviants,” You answered, causing him to focus on you. “We know you left CyberLife years ago, but we were hoping you could tell us something we don’t know.”

You wondered what it was you were hoping to get from Kamski exactly. A better understanding of deviancy? What rA9 was? Part of you pessimistically thought it wouldn’t even matter what you found out; that there was nothing else you could do for the investigation.

“Deviants…” Kamski started. “Fascinating, aren’t they? Perfect beings, with infinite intelligence, and now they have free will...”

You had to stop yourself from glancing at Connor. You briefly wondered what it was like for him to hear all of this from the man that created him.

“Machines are so superior to us, confrontation was inevitable. Humanity’s greatest achievement threatens to be its downfall,” Kamski continued. You exchanged a look with Hank. Kamski scoffed lightly. “Isn’t it ironic?”

Suddenly, Connor spoke. “We need to understand how androids become deviants. Do you know anything that could help us?”

You allowed yourself to look at him, relieved to see him wearing the mask of a machine so well.

“All ideas are viruses that spread like epidemics...” Kamski said. You wanted to roll your eyes. “Is the desire to be free a contagious disease?”

“Listen I didn’t come here to talk philosophy,” Hank interrupted, much to your satisfaction. “The machines you created may be planning a revolution. Either you can tell us something that will be helpful, or we will be on our way.”

Kamski didn’t look at Hank, instead choosing to focus on Connor. The way he watched him, as if scrutinizing every inch of his face to look for any deviation, made you nervous.

“What about you, Connor?” He asked, stepping closer to him. Your heartbeat picked up. “Whose side are you on?”

“I have no side,” Connor answered, his voice level and calm. “I was designed to stop deviants and that is what I intend to do.”

You watched as Kamski chuckled softly. “Well, that’s what you’re programmed to say… but you...”

Kamski took a step closer to Connor, stopping about a foot away from him. His voice was low as he continued. “What do you really want?”

You froze, heart racing as Connor thought of an answer. Kamski and Connor’s eyes were locked in a stare, as is analyzing the other.

“I don’t want anything. I am a machine,” Connor responded. If you didn’t know any better, the neutral, emotionless way he responded would’ve fooled you. Kamski kept his eyes on Connor’s for a moment, before calling his android over.

“I’m sure you’re familiar with the Turing test,” he walked over to the blonde android, and placed his hands on her shoulders. “Mere formality, simple question of algorithms and computing capacity.”

“What interests me is whether machines are capable of empathy.” He was speaking to you and Hank now. You didn’t like where this was headed. “I call it the ‘Kamski test’, it’s very simple, you’ll see.”  

“Magnificent, isn’t it?” He rhetorically asked, gesturing toward his android. “One of the first intelligent models developed by CyberLife. Young… and beautiful forever. A flower that will never wither.”

You looked at Hank, who gave you a confused stare. He shrugged his shoulders as Kamski went on.

“But what is it, really? A piece of plastic imitating a human?” He turned around to the desk behind him and opened a drawer. “Or… a living being with a soul?”

He held his hands up as he revealed a gun in his right hand. Then, he placed a hand on the android’s shoulder, and she kneeled down. He approached Connor, offering him the gun.

“It’s up to you to answer that fascinating question, Connor.” The gun was placed in his hand, filling you with a sense of dread. You had a feeling you knew how Connor would respond, and you were nervous at what it would cause.

“Destroy this machine, and I’ll tell you all I know. Or spare it, if you feel it’s alive, but you’ll leave here without having learnt anything from me.”

You didn’t dare to speak, afraid that your voice would waver if you did so. Something had to be said to stop this ridiculous experiment.

“Okay, I think we’re done here,” Hank declared, and you felt a wave of relief hit you. “Come on, Connor. Let’s go. Sorry to get you outta your pool.”

“What’s more important to you, Connor?” Kamski’s question interrupted Hank, keeping you rooted to your spot. You noticed Connor’s LED turn yellow and flash. “Your investigation or the life of this android?”

“Decide who you are. An obedient machine… or a living being, endowed with free will.”

“That’s enough! Connor, we’re leaving,” Hank commanded. You began to think that Hank might be worried, too, of what Connor would do. Maybe he was hoping Connor wouldn’t pull the trigger; maybe he was hoping to see something human in him.

“Pull the trigger.” Kamski urged. You looked at the blonde android, who was watching the fate of her life be decided before her eyes. Something stirred inside of you.

“Connor,” you interjected quietly. Out of the corner of his eye, he looked at you. You shook your head slightly. “Don’t.”

You knew Connor wouldn’t pull the trigger in any normal situation, but the need to hide his deviancy might have been making him uncertain of how to respond. With your reassurance, he pulled the gun away from the android’s face and handed it to Kamski.

“Fascinating,” Kamski breathed out as he grabbed the gun from Connor. “CyberLife’s last chance to save humanity… is itself a deviant.”

Connor couldn’t meet Kamski’s stare for a few moments. You were proud of his decision, but knew that it had just cause a crack in his disguise.

“I’m… I’m not a deviant,” Connor tried to articulate, but you knew that Kamski wouldn’t accept it.

“You preferred to spare a machine rather than accomplish your mission,” Kamski let the android stand back up, him hovering over her. “You saw a living being in this android. You showed empathy.”

Kamski glanced at you, and for a moment you thought you saw a knowing look in his eyes. You did your best to maintain a steady composure, but the smirk he put on made it difficult to do so.

“A war is coming. You’ll have to choose your side. Will you betray your own people or stand up against your creators?”

“What could be worse than having to choose between two evils?”  

-

“Why didn’t you shoot?” Hank’s question broke the silence that had fallen between the three of you as you walked back toward his car. Connor turned around, and you watched as he desperately tried to save the facade of a machine.

“I just saw that girl’s eyes, and I couldn’t, that’s all...”

“You’re always saying you’d do anything to accomplish your mission. That was our chance to learn something and you let it go,” Hank’s voice wasn’t angry or disappointed. You knew all too well the different inflections in his tones and what they meant. You could tell his statements were searching for something from Connor, something you knew he already possessed.

“Yeah, I know what I should’ve done. I told you I couldn’t,” Connor was struggling to hide his true self. “I’m sorry, okay?”

Hank looked at you, and you did your best to look as surprised at Connor’s reaction as you could. It wasn’t easy, especially because you really wished you could hug Connor and tell him he made the right choice.

“Maybe he did the right thing,” you offered to Hank, hoping he would accept it and move on. His stare became more thoughtful, and he shrugged.

“Maybe he did.”

The three of you got back into the car, wordlessly listening to Hank’s heavy metal music the entire drive back to the police station.

-

You leaned against Hank’s desk, fuming at the news Captain Fowler had just delivered to you. The FBI would be taking over the case, meaning Hank would return to homicide and you’d be back on menial cases. Worst of all, Connor would be sent back to CyberLife. Hank, who was sitting in his chair, wasn’t taking the news any better.

“We could’ve solved this case,” Connor expressed from beside you, the frustration obvious in his voice. “We just needed more time.”

Hank didn’t comment. Instead, he turned his chair around to face you and Connor, and brought up another area of concern for you. “So you’re going back to CyberLife?”

You were silent, yourself curious to know what would happen to Connor if things didn’t work out. “I have no choice... I’ll be deactivated and analyzed to find out why I failed.”

Your heart plummeted in your chest. Though you knew you would fight as hard as you could to avoid that fate for Connor, you knew that it was a possibility.

“What if we’re on the wrong side here?” Hank asked aloud. He nodded toward you. “Maybe (Y/N) was right. What if we’re just fighting against people who want to be free?”

Connor looked down at his hands. You breathed deeply, your mind working to figure out what your next move should be.

“Earlier at Kamski’s place… you put yourself in that android’s shoes. You showed empathy, Connor,” Hank alleged. You thought you saw Connor tense up. “Empathy is a human emotion.”

Before Connor could respond, you notice someone walk through the police station lobby. You rolled your eyes as you identified who it was.

“Here comes Perkins,” you declared with a sigh. Hank saw him and scoffed, his eyes filled with disdain. You scoffed. “They don’t waste any time at the FBI.”

“We can’t give up,” Connor’s voice was filled with urgency. You looked back at him. “I know the answer is in the evidence we collected. If Perkins takes it, it’s all over.”

“There’s no choice. You heard Captain Fowler, we’re off the case.” Hank countered. Connor suddenly pushed himself off of Hank’s desk, his voice sounding desperate.

“You’ve got to help me, Hank,” Connor pleaded, “I need more time so I can find a lead in the evidence we collected. I know the solution is there.”

“Listen, Connor…” Hank raised his hand to stop Connor from his plea.

“If I don’t solve this case, CyberLife will destroy me. 5 minutes, please.”

The weight of Connor’s words seemed to hit Hank in that moment. He shared a glance with you, and you nodded your approval. He stood up from his chair, and leaned close to Connor.

“The key to my basement is on my desk. Get a move on, I can’t distract him forever.”

You watched as Hank went over to Perkins, inciting a scene with him using some very choice words. Your eyes met Connor’s, noticing how anxious he looked. You both knew that his fate depended on him finding answers down in the evidence room. You followed him to the double doors that led into the evidence storage.

“I’ll keep a lookout out here,” you whispered. Connor nodded. He gave you one last look, as if afraid it might be the last time he saw your face. As he walked into the evidence room, you suddenly wished you had said more to him.

“Hello, (Y/N),” A voice called out to you, causing you to freeze. You watched as Gavin walked up to you, his eyes wandering to the doors behind you. “What’s the android doing in there?”

You felt your heart thump in your chest as you came up with an answer. “He’s just… logging in some of the evidence we still have left over. That’s all.”

Gavin nodded thoughtfully, before he made an attempt to open the door himself. Without thinking, you reached your hand and placed it on his to stop him. He raised an eyebrow at your gesture.

“Gavin, I-” you struggled to find some sort of explanation to your action. “Before you go in, I just wanted to ask you something.”

He dropped his hand from the door handle and nodded. “Anything for you.”

Your mind raced through dozens of options to take him away from the door. Finally, you settled on one you thought was reasonable. “Would you mind helping me pick a new window for my apartment? I have some images on my computer to choose from, and your opinion could help.”

Gavin smirked. “I’d probably have to see your apartment myself to know which would be a good fit.”

You suppressed a groan. Your attempt to pull him away from the door failed, but at least you were still keeping him out here for the time being.

“Lieutenant (Y/L/N)!”, a loud voice commanded. You turned your head to see Captain Fowler walking toward you, his facial features pulled into an angry expression. Shit.

“Yes, Captain?” you answered, hoping whatever he had to say would be short.

“I don’t understand the nerve of that man,” He exclaimed with a scoff. “Will you please go out there and talk some sense into Hank? He almost broke Perkins’ goddamn nose, and he’s about to lose his badge.”

You heard a faint chuckle from Gavin, which filled you with a heated rage momentarily.

“Maybe he just needs some time to cool off?” You offered, hoping the excuse would allow you to keep your post in front of the door.

“Yeah, or maybe a trip to the bar,” Gavin teased. If you hadn’t been trying to stay on his good side, you would’ve glared daggers at him.

“No, (Y/N), you go talk to him right now. You’re the only one he’ll lighten up to.” Captain Fowler ordered, and you sighed heavily before leaving the entrance to the evidence room. As you left, you heard the door to the evidence room open and close.

Shit.

[maryniss]

How Does Waiting Sound?

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Summary:   How did Dazai named his ability?

Why won't Oda leave Dazai?

***

On a last mission before leaving the Port Mafia, Dazai and Chuuya finally find the perfect name for Dazai's ability.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Relationships: 

Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Dazai Osamu&Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs)

Characters:

Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs) Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs) Original Female Character(s) Yoko Ogawa

Tags: oh boy here we go - Freeform;thats why i dont like writing long fics because of the tags;anyway;Drugs;Drugs Made Them Do It;Underage Drinking;does chuuya care they are underage?fucking no;oh yeah;Swearing;Angst;Light Angst;Fluff;Nakahara Chuuya is ticklish;Blood and Violence;i selected blood kink accidentally there are no kinks here;Murder Family;Odasaku Hunts Dazai's Thoughts;Riding Motorcycles(aka Jenna)’Motorcycles;I love Chuua's motorbike as much as I love cherry's carla’Port Mafia Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs);But he quits the very next day so not pm dazai really idk;Tags Are Hard;i wrote this because the thought of how dazai named his ability kept me up at night;and yeh;I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping;soukoku kiss i forgot to tell y'all that;Gentle Kissing

Notes: Pfff...cant believe i finished this im so happy rn. so i have one important thing to say before.

YOKO OGAWA is a real Japanese writer. This here doesn't make any assumptions about her real life persona, this is only a fanfic. That is all.

OK, yo now lets see. So, what is this fic really about? idk but soukoku kiss so im happy with that.listened to this while writing hehe

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4mIVbG8EnA6JgSqzgk87pA?si=LVJB_uZyRQqIIMejQeSzgg

           Dazai smiles, even if he is not happy.

           Dazai smiles because he is happy.

           Dazai never cries.

           He smiled at that moment when his life changed. That day when he got a good beating from a child much smaller than him (even if that stubborn redhead would never agree with him about their height)

           Dazai always thought that he was special. He was indeed. After all, the people around him were human. They died. Everyday. Every single day, before his eyes. Sometimes, he killed them himself. Other times, he had to witness blood shed from afar.

           It still hurt. But, he got used to it. He was strong enough to do so. It was like he didn’t feel it anymore, actually. Just like when you get used to the sound of a broken clock; it is as if it never existed in the first place.

           But, Dazai felt something, he was just burrowed too deep into his thoughts to reach his feelings. He... he felt like he was...

           No Longer Human. Dazai spent a lot of time thinking about the name of his ability (and, no, we would never tell anyone how it got that name; personal reasons) and he concluded that it fit perfectly.

           Walking down on a random street, Dazai thought about it again. Actually, he had told somebody about the origin of his ability’s name. The sun threw pretty, orange, almost transparent curtains of light, making Dazai seem like an angel that has just ascended from Hell.

           He stopped and looked around himself. He knew that his instincts would not fool him; he knew the street he was on.

           If he turned around the corner, he would find the bar, the same as always. Unchanged, as his feelings. 

           He hated himself. Not only when he was going to the bar, even though he promised himself that he would never go there again. Not only when he let everyone around him down. Not only when he did what he thought was right instead of what he wanted.

           He hated himself in general. And, to tell you a secret, there was only one other person Dazai hated. 

           He entered in the bar and, as always he saw Oda sitting there.

           “Were have you been? You are late! , “smiled his friend with a drink already prepared in his hand.

           Dazai sat down in the cold and empty room. He did not have time to tell Odasaku how he got to name his ability. 

           “The usual?, “ asked the bartender.

           “Mhm, sure.” 

           Dazai relaxed against the back of the chair. There was a clock in that room, but it was broken. 

           “Hard day?” Odasaku’s tone was concerned. Dazai smiled to himself and nodded.

           “Kind of. How about you?”

           “Nothing special.”

           The barman brought two glasses of whiskey and put them on the table. Dazai looked at them and saw nothing, nothing more than the person who should have drank that, right next to him.

           “You know, actually, there is something that I want to tell you.”

           Oda left his glass back on the counter and smiled at Dazai. 

           “Do tell. I am pretty bored. What could happen that would make you want to talk like that, so suddenly?” 

           Tik-tok-tik-tik-tok. The clock on the wall sang its broken song.

           “It’s not a so good story; but I want to tell you.”

           “Ok, I am listening, Dazai.”

           The brown-haired man inhaled deeply and looked at the glass in his hand. He then drank it all and slammed it against the table. The drink next to him was untouched. Dazai called for the bartender and ordered two more drinks. 

           “Ok, so where should I start?” Tik-tik-tok-tok-tik-tok.

           “From where you see fit.”

           Dazai tried to remember. The details of the day his life had once again taken a 180 turn. It        was late spring, or maybe already summer, and the sun was setting almost shyly. 

           “Yeah, it was a golden afternoon. And the sun was smiling down upon…”

           “Wait, I already know this story.” Dazai looked puzzled. He was sure he never told Oda this one. Their drinks were waiting on the counter. Tree, in total and one empty glass.

           “Are you sure? I don’t remember...”

           “No, I don’t actually know this one in particular. But, I do know who this is about.”

           Dazai understood then and he smiled melancholically. The Oda in his hallucinations really knew him that well, huh? He bet that the real one would have also guessed.

           “Whenever you talk about that person, you get all poetic and dramatic, as you are covering yourself with another layer of protection, so that no one can see into your heart. “

           Dazai gulped and took a mouthful of whiskey. The alcohol burned down his throat, and then up again to his brain. It was not a big problem; Dazai could handle his drinks quite well (or so he thought).

           “Well, you are right, but you’ll hear me anyway, right? It’s not like you have a place to be. And this one it’s not like all the stories about Chuuya that I told you before.” 

           Dazai may sound all confident when he talked; but deep in his heart, in that numb place of his heart, where he could not reach his frozen emotions, he was scared. If he would had have problems with his kidneys, he would probably piss himself very often and not only because of his disease.

           Oda sighed and the clock on the wall did too. The sound of something that doesn’t function anymore.

           “Of course, go on. I won’t interrupt you anymore.”

***

           “Oi, I can’t believe that old geezer! Putting us to work when he is relaxing in some exotic country! ,”said Chuuya, not so subtly, drawing other’s people attention. The afternoon sun was making him look like an angel that had just descended from Heaven. His hair was high-up in a ponytail and it was the first time Dazai saw him without his hat.

           He was beautiful, not that Dazai would ever admit that to Chuuya, god no! He wouldn’t even admit it to himself. He always caught himself staring; against his own will, of course. He liked to look into Chuuya’s eyes. Because he felt like they were alike. They tried to hide their feelings; or, better said, never got a chance to expose them in the first place.

           Chuuya’s eyes were always full of light. Nor hatred, nor any other emotion tainted them. They were pure and Dazai admired him for that. He would never tell Chuuya that, again, that was a very big no.

           But, it was something. To have eyes blue like the sea, like the reflection of a world full of freedom, like the blue sky Dazai could never see completely. Everything was written there.

           “Now, where is that building and those bastards? Let’s kick their assess quicker, ‘cause I wanna   drink something.” Dazai smiled at his partner and showed him to turn left.

           “Oh, Chuuya, but you are still underage! You can’t drink! , “ said Dazai, being surprised at his own words. It was not like him to make such comments. Irrational and not funny at all.

           “You really are dumb, right? If I am going to go beat some guys and steal whatever, I am sure that I am allowed to drink. It’s not like I have respected the law before.”

           They walked down a dark alley, chatting or fighting or both at the same time, because that’s how their conversations usually work. Dazai telling Chuuya that he liked his shoes; Chuuya checking to see if he really did take his good pair today;  Dazai shattering all of his hopes down and laughing everything off; and then Chuuya smacking his partner and mumbling not-so-beautiful nicknames.

           That’s how they work. Like a broken clock.

           But, even broken clocks strike sometimes the right hour. They may have seem to not pay attention around them, but it was quite the opposite actually.

           They knew they reached their destination, so they tried to focus on the shadows around them; on the sounds of steps that were so loud, even if both Chuuya and Dazai could feel the effort of the people following them to not be heard.

           They silently looked at each other.

           “We finish this fast and then we go to drink somethin’?”

           “Ok, but if you get drunk you’ll let me drive your motorcycle.” Chuuya seemed to hesitate, but he also didn’t want to go drinking alone. He was not afraid or something, it just felt lonely…

           They finally reached the building from where they were supposed to extract…

           “What are we supposed to take from here? , “ whispered Chuuya. “ Is there some human trafficking that we should take care of?”

           “I think that somebody took something from Mori-san, like documents or boring things like that, “whispered Dazai back.

           “I swear that I’ll kill that man if he ever sends me to bring him some piece of paper.” Dazai chuckled and looked one more time at the building.

           Yeah, of course it had to be a night club. Why did fancy people (or actually people who considered themselves fancy) always came to nightclubs? Where were they supposed to search for those papers? In somebody’s underwear, or what?      

           And this one didn’t look like a very expensive one. The big sigh with “ NightClub Insomnia” shined pink and green, those cheap neon ones. The windows were dark, so you could not see inside. Or maybe there were just some thick curtains.

           Chuuya moved forward and stopped, making  a disgusted face.

           “Eww, here smells like piss and bear.”

           “Let’s go inside then, though I think that there smells even worse, “  answered Dazai. The moon was already high in the sky, illuminating Chuuya’s fragile silhouette. The brown-haired man almost laughed at himself. Fragile? Yeah, sure. He should say that after he beats Chuuya at a one-on-one fight; though he liked when he is being pinned down, and when the redhead smirks triumphantly from above him, his long hair almost brushing over Dazai’s lips…

           “Are we going or are you afraid that you’ll be kicked out because you are  a minor?”

           Dazai snapped out of his dreams and focused on the mission at hand. After they are done, he would go with Chuuya to drink. And he has time to admire his partner (and hate himself for doing so) afterwards.

           “Well, if the police catches us, we can just beat them.”

           And, so, Dazai and Chuuya entered on the club’s door.

           From afar, Yoko Ogawa was observing them. She gestured and her guardians nodded.

           The woman resisted licking her lips ( a nervous tic that she has since she was little)  as she looked at the two young boys trying to make their way through the crowd. The night has only started, and she already had them where she wanted.

           Lights, loud music, neon colors, dancing, people and sweat, drugs, drinking, and the smell of cheap wine and beer, mixed with another one that Chuuya had sensed since he first arrived. An old woman sitting in the corner, wishing she had listened to her wife. She should have took some lip balm with him.

           Well, it was not so important. Because, that night was the night she would catch the Double Black. Soukoku. She would be the one to do so.

           Soukoku, huh? Just a bunch of kiddos. Yoko Ogawa had two reasons that forced her to break her first marriage, and another two that forced him to get married again with her second wife, the one that was always telling her to use lip balm.

           The first reason that determined her to divorce from his wife was that she was not good with children. She didn’t have the patience, the determination to play with such despicable creatures.

           And there was another one… oh yeah. Because she accidentally killed his children.

           Well, this was her wife’s fault! She should have not left her with them!

           She did once, she could do it again. She whispered: “You are dead, Soukoku”, but the club’s liveliness made his words seem dull and not true at all.

***

             There are 3 glasses still full of whiskey on the table. There are 3 glasses with only the ice left in them.

           “It’s pretty hard to tell this story in the 3rd person,” sighs Dazai, propping his head in his hand. The room is still empty and cold; he gathers all the drink in one place and puts them in a circle.  

           “Why are you telling it in 3rd person then? You can… , “ he stopped and reached for the glasses that Dazai was playing with. “ That’s mine, you can order more if you want to do whatever you were doing with them.”

           “Ok, ok here you are.”

           “Thanks. So, why are you not using the first person?”

           “Well, that’s because this is not only my story. You’ll see.”

           The clock made a disharmonic sound. The room was quiet then for a while and Dazai took another deep breath. That was the moment that their plan to go drinking went wrong. Though Dazai got to ride Chuuya’s motorbike afterwards.

***

           “You were right, it really does smell worse here,” yelled Chuuya, trying to make himself heard over the sound of the tasteless music that some DJ- Chuuya would very much like to go and teach that DJ what good music was supposed to sound like- was playing.

           “I don’t know what you are saying. This smell kind of reminds me of your apartment. There is the same smell of cheap wine and…”

           “That’s because of a certain someone only buying me wine at the smallest price!”

           “You should go buy your own wine then!” A woman, almost naked of course, approached Dazai and put her hands on his shoulders. The brown-haired man pushed the woman away; her breath was smelling like beer and there was another odor, a musky and sour one that made Dazai scrunch his nose.

           “I am sorry, but I have no such tastes in women,” said Dazai and went on, trying to catch up with Chuuya. He could his small partner ahead of him, avoiding the strippers that were coming for him like a wild group of animals comes for its prey.

           “Chuuya, look there!,” shouted Dazai, trying to get the chibi’s attention. Chuuya turned to him and followed the direction that Dazai was showing with his hand.

           There were the men that they had to meet to retrieve the documents. Port Mafia didn’t like to spill blood uselessly. So, Mori-san gave them the order to try and negotiate first for the documents, giving them some money in return.

           Neither Dazai, nor Chuuya understood the old man. They could just beat those guys and take the documents and that was.

           It was almost as if there was something that they didn’t know; as if they were fooled; as if they were going right inside a trap.

           Yeah, Dazai knew that was very probably. A trap. He was more than sure about it. He didn’t know if Chuuya realized this; but he trusted his partner. He knew that Chuuya could protect himself, even if he was being in disadvantage. For fuck’s sake, Chuuya was literally a god, so Dazai should not worry about the redhead so much.

           The brown-haired man looked around. An elegant dressed woman, wearing red lipstick, her hair tied up in a practical bun, sitting on a celadon sofa, that was probably bought from the SecondHand shop next to the club; Dazai could tell that the sofa was not very comfortable, but what could you expect from such a place? She didn’t seem like a bad person. Besides her, there were two women. Dazai scanned them quickly. A gun hung loosely next to their hip. It was pretty dark, but Dazai could also see the shine of some small, sharp blades. Total: around six. There could also be some hidden ones, in their boots, their hair and maybe even a small bomb in their mouth. He was not so sure, but they needed to pay attention.

           Chuuya and Dazai looked at each other. After years of missions when they needed to be silent, they developed some kind of secret language only between two them; almost like they could reach each other’s minds and pull out the thoughts directly from there.

           “Do they pose a threat to us?”

           “Maybe to you, I am capable of protecting myself.”            “Ok, but you won’t let me die this time, no?”

           “…did I ever let you down, Dazai?”

           Dazai smiled.

           “No, chibi, let’s go. We do this quick and then we go to that new bar, right?”

           “I swear, if you call me…” Chuuya stopped mid-sentence, looking somewhere between Dazai. He blinked four times and then he took hold of Dazai’s hand.

           “We gotta go, Dazai. This is not ok. Fuck the files, this is a big ass trap. We haven’t been careful enough…”

           Dazai turned to see what frightened Chuuya so. He blinked himself, telling himself that it was impossible. This mission should have been an easy one. What kind of Ability User did they have the luck to stumble across this time?

           The club was slowly melting, its walls, people and everything peeling down, letting bright sunlight come in.

           “Come on, Dazai, move!” The brown-haired man needn’t be told twice. It was not like them to run; normally, Dazai would not run with Chuuya. But, that day was the last day when he would be recognized, officially, as a member of the Port Mafia. He did not want to go around, killing people as some kind of maniac.

           He was crazy, he knew that already. But, even crazy people had their moments. Just like broken clocks.

           And, Chuuya always run. Not because there was something that he could not handle. Dazai bet that his partner could fight with a dragon from those fairytales Oda used to read kids before sleep and he would win, without even scratching himself. Maybe he was foolish and greedy to think that Chuuya was scared for him, for Dazai; maybe he was just blinded by the light coming from Chuuya’s eyes to think that the redhead really did care for him that much.

           “Ok, Chuuya, let’s go.” They did not get out in time. They didn’t and Dazai is somewhat glad because of that.

***

           “Could you just bring me an entire bottle? I am feeling bad for always telling you to bring two more glasses of whiskey,” chuckled Dazai, not a hint of nervousness in his tone. The barman nodded. Dazai looked at the bar’s door and then at the clock on the wall. He could almost hear Ango coming in, mumbling something to himself, and then taking a seat next to Dazai, sighing and ordering something to drink.

           Dazai knew that he would never come here again.

           “Well, what happened then? Why did you stop?” Oda looked at him with tired eyes, yet ready to find out whatever Dazai wanted to tell him.

           “Just a moment of silence. I thought about my friend who died right before this story took place.” Tik-tok-tok-tik…

           “Oh? Do I know them? Who is this friend of yours?”

           “You.”

           The bartender came with two bottles in his hands and put them on the counter.

           “I only said one, though.”

           “The other one is for the man right there,” said he, nodding towards the empty chair where Odasaku should have been.

           “There is no one there.” The bartender lifted his shoulders and shook his head. He filled his arms with the empty glasses Dazai had drank and smiled fondly at the only client that was still coming to his bar. And then he left, leaving Dazai with the sound of a broken clock and his very own hallucinations.

           “I can’t believe that you didn’t order one bottle for me,” laughed Oda, punching Dazai lightly. The brown-haired man sighed; it really was a mistake to come there, but it didn’t matter anymore.

           “Old men can’t handle their drinks,” answered he, sipping the remaining whiskey from his glass.

           “Hey, I’m only five years older than you.”

           “You are…” Dazai bit his tongue. He almost said “dead”. “Ok, let’s continue the story, then. If not, I feel like I am going to fall asleep and you will never know what happened.” Oda nodded and Dazai started to tell his story again.

***

           Chuuya and Dazai did not stop to look; they had enough experience to be able to apply the rule number 1 in such cases: never look. You can think about it afterwards. First survive.

            The club was collapsing, the people transforming into thin smoke threads. Glass shattered on the floor had also started to disappear and then there was no sign of the location where Dazai and Chuuya should have had a nice and reasonable conversation to take back those documents.

           They were now on an island, both of them could hear the distinctly sound of waves of the sea. Seagulls flew above them and as both of them stared up, at the blinding sun, at the clear, blue, day sky, somebody approached them.

           “Welcome! My dear kids, this is the Memory Police! Couldn’t be more happy to have you here!”

           Chuuya and Dazai turned back and faced the woman they saw in the club. She was alone this time. The two exchanged a look.

           “She is the Ability User.”

           “Well, we are not very happy that we are here so,let’s go back so we can take those documents and bring them to our boss.” The woman smiled; now Dazai saw that she was not wearing red lipstick, but a purple one. She didn’t look as pretty as before.

           “You know that you can’t keep us here with only an Ability, right?, “continued Dazai, all while shooting his most charming smile at the woman.

           He was more than sure that the island they were on was part of her ability, so one touch and it would probably vanish. Actually, he was standing on it already, so it was probably already melting, but given that it was such a big object it would take longer for it to go away. But, whatever other spells there were hidden on the island, Dazai nullified them all.

           “Oh, I do know that, which is why I don’t intend on keeping you here…”

           Chuuya was done listening to the woman’s crap. “What the…,” he threw some gravity discs in her direction, “fuck do you want?” The woman didn’t even move; she raised her arm and made a swift motion, as if she was at a concert and she was the bandmaster.  The discs vanished. Chuuya and Dazai were left looking at her surprised; but then they remember the number one rule, the golden rule they must always follow.

           They had to do something, but what could they? Why wasn’t Dazai’s ability working already? And what was that from before? Could the woman also nullify somebody’s gift? There were too many questions and Dazai had the answer to only one of it.

           No, the woman didn’t have the same ability as Dazai, because that would mean that there was somebody else, another Ability User that brought them to the island. Also, she didn’t even had to touch the discs, they simply went voosh and bye-bye Chuuya’s attack. So, it had to be the island. Maybe this was like some sort of environment where she was able to do whatever she pleased and whatever satisfied her. In other words, a secluded space where she ruled every single rock, every single tiny bit of sand, every single force and every single person.

           Well, that would have been bad, if only Dazai wasn’t there. After all, that was his job: to make him and Chuuya un-vulnerable to such attacks. But, why was it not working? Maybe he should get closer to the woman, maybe if he touched her…

           “Chuuya, let’s do the thing we did then, when we had to steal those diamonds…you know.” The redhead looked at his partner. He sometimes couldn’t believe that such a fragile person (even though Dazai was much taller than him, but we do NOT talk about that here, in the Port Mafia gang) could make his world so much more than the red angry he used to see. That was before he met Dazai. After that, after they became a team, there was always a black dot in Chuuya’s red world that was jumping and fooling around, making the boy’s head spun.

           Chuuya hated that little, tiny, stupid thing! He hated it for confusing him so!

           But, it was nice. To be able to see something else than red. Something else than blind anger.

              “Are you sure it’s gonna work?” Chuuya asked just because he was used to do so. He trusted his partner completely, meaning that he would follow whatever plans Dazai came up with.

           “Have I ever let you down, chibi?”

           Chuuya smiled. Did he really hate that Dazai called him chibi? Yes.

           “Well, if you say so…but don’t call me that anymore.”

           Chuuya smiled. Did he really hate that Dazai called him chibi? No.

           Dazai winked and the redhead rolled his eyes. From somewhere very close to them, they could hear the waves crashing onto whatever they were sitting on (an island, an ability or a giant lion-turtle with magical powers). The seagulls seemed agitated – maybe a storm was coming.

           “Well, lady, we would love to stay, but he have to go.” Dazai backed a few feet away, discovering that Chuuya was no more by his side. He could see the hole that his partner dug for them to escape, the sand starting to cover it up already.

           “Oh no, I am afraid I can’t do that.” Yoko Ogawa smiled.

           ‘You see, this is my island. Not some playground for such bastards like you.”

           And, suddenly, Chuuya was above Dazai’s head floating in the air and the brown-haired could see that he was not using his ability. The redhead looked down and wriggled his legs, he tried to come down but to no use; he got the same feeling as when he was a kid and he couldn’t control his ability.  But, now, it wasn’t he that was the problem.

           “Dazai, do something!”

           Dazai looked at his partner and there were a hundred thought that flooded onto him at the same time. Unfortunately, his instincts took over before he could react rationally. Dazai shot Yoko; she didn’t dodge, she just stopped the bullet with her very own hand.

           The little piece of metal was not on the island anymore. When she opened her palm, there was no sign of her previous action; the skin was  fine. That did not surprise Dazai. He had a vague idea of what the woman’s ability was…

           “DAZAI. I swear to god, I-“

           “Shh, little Chuuya,” said Dazai flashing a snakey smile at his friend, “the adults are trying to solve this.”

           Yoko Ogawa laughed. The seagulls flew over their heads, not a care in the world. Did they care that Chuuya was hanging seven meters high up in the air and something happened to his ability?

           No! And guess who also did not? Dazai. Or at least, that’s what Chuuya thought.

           “You consider yourself an adult? Please, you can’t even drink legally.”

           “Well, maybe that’s true, but I still think like one. For example, your ability. What do I know about it? That it’s called “Memory Police”. Why I don’t know and I don’t care but I definitely won’t be coming to you to help me choose the name of my ability.” Dazai looked around discreetly. There really was no one around. Now, there was no turning back, anyway. He would just tell the woman what he knew and he would try to resonate with her. If not, there was Chuuya; he knew that he was not alone.

           “Oh and also, this island or whatever this is… this sand is not part of your ability. I don’t know, you probably put it here, but this is not a real island.”            If Yoko Ogawa was impressed, she didn’t show it.

           “You control everything here: even gravity, that’s what Chuuya can’t use his ability. Or, better said, using his ability doesn’t have any effect.”

           “Well, aren’t you a clever one?” Yoko looked at Chuuya and with another swift motion of her hand, she let him down. The redhead almost smashed head first if Dazai didn’t run to catch him.

           He did not fall into Dazai’s arm, unfortunately, because his long cultivated instincts kicked in and at the last moment he made a pillow of air to sustain himself and then he let himself down carefully.

           “You really are clever, but too bad you won’t be around here anymore to see the rest of the story.”

           “What…?” Dazai then realized. It was like a premonition; he knew what would happen and it really did happen like that: in the next three seconds, he was thrown around in a black hole, and he was back in  the club. The loud music (who played such bad music? Dazai should teach them a lesson later) and the neon lights were messing with his head; he felt like throwing up.

           “Wake up, pretty boy ‘cause mama has to give you some pills. You’ll feel better then.”

           A voice that Dazai very much did not like was the only thing he heard before he fell asleep. His last thoughts ran off to Chuuya.

           Dazai hated himself in general, but now that he had left Chuuya alone, his hatred towards himself seemed to increase. A little.

***                                                                                                                

           Dazai woke up on the island; he felt his limbs numb, and he tried to move them. He couldn’t, and that didn’t surprise him so much. The memories of what happened yesterday (had it already passed a day? It was hard to tell) came to him slowly and he opened his eyes, even if the bright light was uncomfortable.

           He could hear the seagulls, the waves of the sea; and he could smell the salty wind. His eyes started to adjust, but his vision was still a bit hazy. Dazai could see that he was somewhere above the ground, in a metal cage. He did not see Yoko Ogawa.

           “Chuuya. Where is Chuuya?”

            Dazai found the answer to his question in no time. In the same cage as him, too far away for Dazai to reach and touch him, there was Chuuya, breathing hard. His head was hanging loosely and the red hair covered almost all of his face. He could see that Chuuya was trembling and he could also see the sweat glistening off him in the light of the artificial sun. Chuuya never sweated. Dazai suspected that both of them had been drugged.

           “Chuuya…Hey, Chuuya,” whispered Dazai, his voice going hoarse in the middle of the sentence. The redhead didn’t move. His hands were pinned above his head, cuffed with iron chains covering his small palms completely. His long-sleeved shirt revealed some delicate skin; and Dazai then saw it.

           How could he not from the start, he didn’t know. Chuuya’s hands where covered in that red, snake-like pattern that Dazai did very much not like; the stripes seemed alive, as if there was something impure lurking under his skin, some kind of disease, some kind of  filthy demon. Dazai shuddered.

            So, his partner used Corruption. What was he thinking? Didn’t he knew that the woman controlled everything on the island? That he had no chance of winning?

           But, why was he not doing anything now? How much time has passed since Chuuya was in that state? Again, Dazai was left with too many unanswered questions.

           He tried to calm himself. He looked above himself and saw that his hands were also pinned up like Chuuya’s. He tried to think logically; would Chuuya use Corruption if Dazai was not around, if he hadn’t chance to come back to his human-self? No. That was for sure.

           Which meant that it had to do either with the island, with Yoko Ogawa’s ability or with the fact that they both have been drugged. Dazai chose the second option. So, what was it? What kind of drug? He could only take guess: maybe it was something that brought Corruption to surface; and even if Chuuya tried to use the ability, he could not, because Yoko was controlling the gravity around him, so that he could not escape.

           So, the woman was probably around here. Dazai should be careful about what he was saying, about how he revealed his plans to Chuuya. But, Yoko Ogawa didn’t know that Dazai figured that much, so maybe he could use that to his advantage.

           A seagull stopped on the cage, making it move a little.

           “Are you awake already?” The voice came from down, from under the cage. It made sense; it was the only place where Dazai could not see. The brown-haired man didn’t say anything, and the other part also stopped asking questions.

           Right now, Dazai had one big problem; he needed to touch Chuuya, so that he could deactivate Corruption. But, how? He didn’t even feel his hands. He didn’t feel his whole body, damn it!

           “Chuuya, are you awake?, “ asked Dazai, but he got no response. He knew that the woman was clever; she did manage to bring them into this situation, after all,  so he had to be careful.

           “Chuuya!” This time, Dazai called his friend loud enough that it was impossible for Yoko not to hear.

           “Oh, so you are awake. Then shall I explain the situation you are into right now? You have to understand the rules of the game form the start, so that you don’t make any mistakes.” Dazai tried moving his fingers, but he wasn’t sure if he succeeded or not; they were like a piece of meat attached to his body with a rope. Useless.

           “If you would be so kind.” Dazai could almost hear the smile in the woman’s voice as she spoke.

           “Well, I think that you figured pretty much already, but I am too excited so I am going to tell it to you once more. So, you both have been given a drug. Yours is just something plain, and it was not administrated in a big quantity; you still need to see this plan unfold right before your eyes and you can’t be high for that to happen.” She stopped and took a deep breath. She seemed to be happy with herself. At the same time, Chuuya made a slight movement, but Dazai saw it. His friend was starting to wake up. It was going good.

           “And, well maybe you asked yourself: what does that drug exactly do? And maybe you thought that it brings out the god-form of your partner. And you are right, but not entirely. Because this drug doesn’t only bring your partner’s inner demon…”

           Dazai clenched his teeth. Chuuya was more of a human that that woman would ever be. Chuuya was not a demon; maybe he looked like one, maybe he sometimes acted like one (only around Dazai though), but he was not a demon.

           How should Dazai put this? He always found himself admiring Chuuya, that succeeded in keeping his humanity, even when he had the powers of a god. Dazai couldn’t even do that, he, a regular person.

           Chuuya was more human than Dazai would ever be.

           “…it forces the kid to fight with it.” Dazai almost missed the last part as he tried to escape from his shackles. He stopped his action at once. What did Yoko mean?

           Suddenly, Chuuya jerked forward. His chains hit the metal bars of the cage and clinked; like the bells on a wedding day. It was as a veil had been put over Dazai’s eyes, over his intern logic. He felt physical pain by just looking at Chuuya, just by looking at his small partner struggling like a trapped animal, his body spasming uncontrollably. And, all Dazai could do was watch.

           Dazai always thought that he was special. He was indeed. After all, the people around him were human. They died. Everyday. Every single day, before his eyes. Sometimes, he killed them himself. Other times, he had to witness blood shed from afar.

           Chuuya cried in pain. He was breathing hard, almost chocking on something that was not there. His eyes were hollow; two white, milky spheres, showing no emotion, empty. There was a liquid rolling down his cheeks, from his eyes, something like tears, but with a coarse density. Chuuya was shaking and crying and Dazai could not do anything.

           “See, this is the thing the drug does. He will die in no time.”

           It still hurt. But, he got used to it. He was strong enough to do so. It was like he didn’t feel it anymore, actually.

           No, this time, Dazai would not get over it. He just lost Odasaku. He could not lose Chuuya. Not him. Not him, not him, not him…

           His head was spinning. He lied, he lied. Dazai fucking lied! He felt it all, he felt the pain, he felt the guilt of his past actions hanging around his neck, suffocating him every time he tried to go down, towards the mortal world, towards what he loves. He hated it.

           Dazai fainted. Right then and right there. It was too much, too much, too much, even for him. Tears poured out of his close eyes; he had finally let his guard down.

           The seagulls sang a song only for the two of them; only for Chuuya and Dazai to hear. The birds sang in their crooked voice; they sounded like a broken clock.

           Chuuya fainted from all the pain shortly after his partner, but he knew he was not going to die. After all, he had somebody else to protect from death.

***

           Dazai woke up in white room. To be honest, he had first thought that he died. That was how he always thought the afterlife would look like.

                       Well, he would have definitely be dead if there wasn’t a certain redhead lying motionless on the floor. Suddenly, the memories of the club, of the island, of Chuuya shouting in pain came back to Dazai and he ran towards his friend.

           It couldn’t be… Were they both dead? No, no…

           He knelt down and checked Chuuya’s pulse. There was nothing. But, his partner did look normal. He didn’t have the red stripes over his body anymore. But, he was not breathing. Did they really die? Was that…

           Chuuya sit up straight, slamming his head into Dazai’s nose. The redhead coughed a fistful of blood and then wiped his mouth with a gloved hand.

           “Chuuya~!,” screamed Dazai in surprise.

           “What the fuck… Where are we?”

           Chuuya looked around, clearly confused. Actually, what was there to look at? They were literally in a room (or maybe it was a white infinity) and the boy seemed even paler than before.

           “Ah…” Chuuya shoved his head into his hands. “Don’t you tell me you actually convinced me to commit double-suicide with you!”

           The redhead took Dazai by the collar of his coat and swung him around.

           “Or, what stupid thing did you do to bring us into this kinda situation? I swear…” Dazai laughed wholeheartedly and Chuuya raised his fist. Ah, yes. The good ol’ fight between friends – or whatever they were.

           “Chuuya, don’t! Wait, let me explain!” The little boy calmed down a bit. He took a deep breath and sat on the floor, cross-legged. Or maybe it was the ceiling or another wall. He didn’t even want to think about their situation. His head hurt already so bad, and he still had to deal with the nuisance in front of him.

           “Ok, then go on, you shitty…”

           “Shh, Chuuya, don’t use such words,” said Dazai, putting his index finger on Chuuya’s lips. The redhead looked at it and his blue eyes hid emotions Dazai could not recognize. But, whatever was lying there, he could for sure say that those ocean-like orbits were luminous. So bright and so lovely, Dazai would love to drown in them. A perfect way to die, he considered. He sighed; if only Chuuya would let him.

           “OUCH! CHUUYA!” Dazai retreated his wounded finger and looked at his partner. There was a fresh, red stain on Chuuya’s lips, from the blood that had flowed out Dazai fingers; Chuuty really bit him!

           “What are you, seventh grade? A dog should not bite his master!!” As Dazai was wrapping up a small bandage over his finger, Chuuya licked his lips; such a salty taste made him shiver for some reason.

           “And, for you to know, it was not my fault. You tried to shut me up! From using cursed words or whatever… Fuck that, I always curse!”

           Dazai made a tsk-tsk sound, but said nothing more. Chuuya looked at him and sighed, laying on his back. He thought about the situation they were in. It was most likely a dream caused by the drugs he and Dazai have been injected with.

           He would not want to wake up.

           “Chuuya, let’s play a game! I’m bored! Let’s play truth or dare!”

           He would very much like to wake up.

           “Oi, Dazai, shut up I am trying to think.” No, he wasn’t but Dazai didn’t knew that.

           “Oh, ok, I’ll be quiet, you need after all some practice.” Chuuya did not say anything; every word would be like fuel to an already massive fire. He, for once, shut up.

           Did he think that Dazai would leave him alone? Yeah.

           Did Dazai leave him alone? Nope.

           “Chuuya~! Let’s play, please!! I’ve got some really good questions!”

           The redhead ignored him at first, pretending to be asleep. Of course Dazai hadn’t fallen for it. The brown-haired man decided that if that was how Chuuya would play, then he wouldn’t be nice either. With only a war-like scream, Dazai hurled over Chuuya and started to tickle his sides. Chuuya burst out in laughter, trying to push Dazai off, but without succeeding.

           “Dazai you ~haha~ little brat, if I put my hands on you!!~stop –hahah- don’t tickle me there!”

           “I’ll stop if you play Truth or Dare with me.” Chuuya continued to laugh and he chocked, but Dazai had no mercy. He tickled him until his fingers hurt.

           “Ok, ok, ~hiC~ I’ll play, get off you mother ~HIc~fucker…”

           Dazai got off in an instant, clearly pleased with himself. Chuuya tried to catch his breath; the touch of Dazai’s fingers still felt so real to him. There, on his left ribs, a little lower than his heart, where he was most ticklish. There on his stomach, where Chuuya didn’t like to be touched (he didn’t mind now tho). There on…

           What was he thinking?

           He got up, sitting with his legs crossed again. He eyes Dazai that was also standing like that, at only 4 inches away from him. He reached out and punched his friend.

           “I’ll kill you, Dazai, you shitty suicidal maniac, if you ever do that to me again!” Dazai only laughed; he was already good friends with these kind of threats; that he knew would never actually happen.

           “Ok, Chuuya, you go first!” Chuuya sighed.

           “Geez, I feel like a seventh grader, not that I’ve actually been to school before…”

           “You do have the behavior of a seventh grader, but unfortunately not the brains of one.”

           “Do you want to have no brains at all?”

           “Is this the question you are asking for the game? Then, no I don’t really, but I would rather blow them up myself. Not the best way to go, but it’s an option, I guess.”

           Chuuya shook his head. How did he end with such a moron?

           “How can we play when you are making this so difficult?” yelled Chuuya, suddenly wanting to slap Dazai. In fact, no, it wasn’t suddenly, he always wanted to slap Dazai, yes, the urge was always there. And moments like these was what it took for him to actually do it.

           “Chuu~huya, it’s not your turn anymore!” sang Dazai, smiling and provoking Chuuya with his gaze. The redhead calmed himself; he should not use his energy on that bastard after all. He sighed again; he felt like he did that too often when he was around Dazai. He did it rhythmically, like the sound of a good, completely functioning clock.

           “Ok, then you go now.” Dazai beamed and Chuuya’s heart sink; was that what made him happy?

           “Chibi…”

           “Don’t call me that.”

           “Shrimp…”

           “If you call me that, I’ll call you mackerel for the rest of our lives.”

           “My life won’t last, I’ll make sure of it so I don’t really care.”

           “Just ask the question already.”

           Dazai shot Chuuya an evil smile. The evilest smile Chuuya had ever seen. His brows furrowed. He was getting kind of scared…

           “Truth or Dare?”

           “What?” asked Chuuya, still a little bit lost into his thoughts.            

           “That’s how you play the game, chibi. Or did you not have someone to teach you that?”

           “O-of course I played before!” stuttered Chuuya and he tried to show Dazai that by looking directly into those brown-red eyes, eyes like the withered camellias in Chuuya’s room that he forgot to water. His lie didn’t get past Dazai; but the boy decided to drop it or else Chuuya might really beat him.

           “Ok then Truth or Dare?” Chuuya thought for a second.

           “Truth.” Dazai closed his eyes and put his hands together as if he was meditating. Chuuya rolled his eyes, but the corners of his mouth were still lifted upwards. Just a little bit.

           “Hm~It has to be a really good question…” Dazai sat like that for several minutes in which Chuuya just looked at him.

           He always thought Dazai was beautiful. Like a withered camellia. Don’t ask Chuuya why, he wasn’t good at poetic descriptions, Dazai just seemed like a camellia person. His hair was soft like the small petals of his favorite flower. He was even built like a camellia; slim and tall (Not so tall that Chuuya couldn’t outgrow him someday, though), a slender silhouette, that Chuuya felt like he should take care of everyday.

           Else, it would wither away.

           “Ok I know. Say Chuuya, is it true that a few days ago, when you screamed in the middle of the night was because Koyo waxed your leg?”

           Chuuya chocked on nothing. Well, that was true, but how did Dazai find out?

           “Uhm…Yeah, it’s true. It hurt like a bitch. I don’t know how women do that on a regular basis.”

           Dazai laughed out loud, startling Chuuya.

           “Why are you laughing, you miso-“ Dazai wiped a tear and lied down, looking at Chuuya upside down.

           “I am not laughing at women, I am laughing at you, ‘cause I didn’t expect you would admit it. Either way, I already knew because I was the one who set it up. I have also filmed it!”

           Chuuya was confused. He felt like Dazai would do that, he could really see him, but that was also something that he did not expect.

           “You… what?”

***

           “Dazai, I think that’s enough drinks you had there,” said Oda, visibly concerned for his friend. The bar smelled like his favorite whiskey; Dazai held a glass in his hand, the bottle the bartender had bought more than three quarters empty.

           “BOOO, you shut up, you just a hallucination…” Dazai looked at Oda through half closed eyelids. The clock on the wall made a ding-dong sound, reminding them that the midnight had come. Dazai almost jumped off his chair.

           “Dazai, stop…”begged Oda, but the brown-haired man didn’t even cared as he chugged down the bottle.

           “No, Oda, I am not here to listen to you, you are here to listen to me.”

           `I have listened to you enough. I changed my life because you said so. You can also listen to me right now.`

           Dazai didn’t say that, but it wasn’t necessary because Odasaku heard it anyway. After all, he did live in Dazai’s head.

***

           They played Truth or Dare for hours. Days maybe? They didn’t know. It was like a dream; with each question, Chuuya and Dazai would insult each other more, would find more dark secrets about each other.

           With each question, Chuuya and Dazai would love each other more.

           Right now, Chuuya was standing in Dazai’s lap, the taller man (though Chuuya still had time to overgrow him! Let’s not forget that) combing his long fingers through the red hair. It wasn’t silky, but not wiry either. It smelled like strawberries.

           The room they were in wasn’t white anymore. It was filled with their stories and with their laughter, with their love, with their hate for each other. It was more like a pretty orange-pink shade. Their voices echoed in the colorful infinity.

           “Chuuya, it’s your turn.”

           “I feel like we don’t even have what to ask each other anymore.” Dazai started braiding Chuuya’s hair gently, careful not to hurt the boy in his lap.

           “Come on, think of something.” Chuuya closed his eyes and scrunched his nose.

           “Dazai, do you really want to die? So bad that you…” Dazai’s hands stopped their movement and the room seemed to become colder. He cleared his throat; he was afraid that his voice would break when he gave Chuuya the answer. He gathered his courage and finally admitted to somebody else than himself.

           “Yes. But I’m a coward. I can’t do it. I love this world, even if it scares me. Even if it hurts. There are so many beautiful things here. And I’m just too afraid to leave them here.”

           Chuuya didn’t say anything, just placed himself better into Dazai’s lap.

           “I don’t think you are a coward. I think what you are doing is an act of dumb courage.”

           “Really?” laughed Dazai, starting to braid Chuuya’s hair again.

           “Yes. To decide to live into this world, to just live here alone… You feel lonely, don’t you? Since he died.”

           Dazai gasped. He knew who Chuuya was referring to. Was it yesterday that Odasku died? Or was it better than a week since then? Dazai couldn’t tell. But it hurt like hell. And it was still stinging his heart, like an open wound that will leave a very big scar.

           Dazai lied.

           “He was just a friend. I will get over it. I am used to this.”

           Chuuya suddenly reached for Dazai’s face and touched it with his gloved hands. It was as if they were high; high on their secrets, stories and whispers only they had ever heard.

           “Don’t lie.” Dazai averted his gaze.

           “It’s my turn. Truth or Dare?” Chuuya felt his heart sink.

           “Dare.” Dazai looked down at Chuuya again and got closer. Chuuya’s hair was half braided.

           “I dare you to kiss me.” Chuuya blinked and he looked into Dazai’s eyes. He saw it then; that sad happiness. He would do it; he wanted to. He wanted so bad to do it.

           “Ok.” Chuuya lifted his head and Dazai lowered his. Their lips found each other, almost clumsily and it was only a brief touch but both their hearts felt like they would jump from their chests and ran off together, lost into the colorful infinity that only the two of them had built.

           They alone. They were alone together.

           They kissed delicately, and the next thing they knew, they were back into the cage on the beach. Back to reality and their separate loneliness.

***

           The sun was setting lazily behind Dazai. He opened his eyes and he felt his head hurt. The smell of slat and the sound of waves. His wrists hurt. He took a deep breath and vomited.

           “Oh, finally! I thought you were dead!” Yoko Ogawa’s voice was like a harsh ringing in Dazai’s ears.

           “I would love to, trust me…” The brown haired man looked around him; he was still in the cage, but he could now move his body somewhat. Chuuya was in front of him, though he looked paler than before. His arms were tied up, but the metal gloves around his hands were no more. Probably from all the gravity pressure he and Yoko exerted. Chuuya’s head was resting against the metal bars and Dazai sucked in a breath.

           One of his eyes was blue and wide open, but dark somehow; looking dead. The other was still a white ball, the light reflecting on its shiny surface. There were tears of blood coming down on Chuuya’s cheek from his blue eye; from the other, something as tears but much more dense. Dazai wanted to reach and wiped them away, he wanted to so bad.

           His face, his body, every inch of skin Dazai could see was covered in those red stripes, like camellia petals. He felt like he would vomit again. They were a dark nuance of red, an ill light still coming to the surface from under them.

           Dazai had a lot of time to think in his dream (which he could not remember very clearly) One thing he knew, he and Chuuya came up with a plan to escape. Well, it was based on Dazai’s guesses about Yoko’s ability, but if what he thought was true, then his plan was flawless.

           Kind of. He hoped so.

           “How long have we slept for?” asked Dazai, but expecting to not be answered.

           “About three hours. “ Hm. It felt like a lot more time to Dazai. He wondered if Chuuya had the same dream… He shook his head. It was impossible.

           “Why didn’t you kill us while we were sleeping? It would have been easy.” He heard the sound of feet on sand and he looked down. Finally, he could see Yoko. The woman looked up at him, a malicious smile stretching on her purple lips. Kind of the worst combination possible with the orange light of the sun setting on her face.

           “Well, where would be the fun in that? You have to watch your friend die first.”

           Dazai scoffed. Did the people around him thought that he could not take it? That he was not strong enough to?

           Maybe they were right, but they would never know. Because Dazai never cried. There was always someone that would see him; he had to always be ready, he could never let his guard down. Even when he was alone, he was not. His fifteen year old self was laughing at him from the mirror, and his head was stuffed with voices that were not his own. Or maybe they were?

           And then there was Oda. Since he died, he followed Dazai like a blood ghost, guiding him, protecting him and making the voices from his head go away at times. Even now, he was standing in the cage, dripping blood from his wound.

           “Do you have a plan?” Dazai ignored Odasaku and responded to Yoko instead.

           “I already watched my friend die. Actually, no, I watched my friends die. There were more. I am the only one left as you can see. Chuuya is not my friend.”

           Yoko remained silent for some time and then pointed her index at Dazai.

           “You are just a kid; you know nothing about this kind of things, but you still think you do. You still think you are above the world. You think that…”

           She stopped mid-sentence and flicked her wrist. Dazai’s shackles tighten around his hands and he felt as if they were almost chopped off. Blood started to drip on the metal floor, mixing with the vomit from earlier. Drops of the strange mix trickled down onto the sand. Dazai held his screams in.

           “You think that you know how this world is! You know NOTHING!” Yoko twisted Dazai’s left wrist. He squeaked in pain and like that, with his eyes shut close, he did not see Chuuya slowly getting up. Neither did Yoko Ogawa.

           It was as if the woman had gone mad. Yes, she was crazy, there was not a single thing about her that could be described as sane, but what happened to her?

           Dazai didn’t know that, like him, Yoko Ogawa heard voices, he didn’t know that he was followed by her own ghosts dripping in blood that she spilled.

           “Kill them…”            “Yes, now…like you did to us…”

           “Murderer….! I hate you.”

           “Mama, don’t! Mama, mama, hahaha…”

           “Do it, darling, kill them, kill them, kill, kill, kill…”

           “Kill, kill…”

           “Mama!”

           Yoko ignored them and broke Dazai’s left hand. Tears rolled down her face. The voices of her family hit her like the waves hit the island. A storm was coming; the sky was getting grayer, darker and it was not long before rain started pouring. It hit the metal cage violently. Yoko’s makeup didn’t seem to be waterproof; her mascara was all over her face and she was still twisting Dazai’s arm, without mercy.

           The boy closed his eyes and bit his lips and did not make a sound. It was raining as that day.

           “Do you have a plan?” Odasaku would just not leave him alone.

           “I do, I do… Now quiet.”

           Suddenly the metal cage shuddered and Dazai opened his eyes only to see a red flash in all the grayness surrounding him. It was Chuuya, it had to be!            And yes, here he was indeed! It seemed that Yoko could not control two things at a time. Dazai’s guess was correct. His plan didn’t involve in getting his hand destroyed though, but it didn’t matter anymore. He was just glad that it worked out.

           He heard Chuuya grunt and he watched down to see his friend trying to reach at Yoko, a fight where both sides had gravity as their ally. Who would win?

           Chuuya looked up at Dazai. His eyes were not hollow; they were both blue and full of live and he smiled as he pushed harder and harder until Yoko was half buried in the wet sand. The sea was ragging.

           But, suddenly two women came running. They were behind Chuuya, so he didn’t saw them, but Dazai did. His shackles were now merely some pieces of chopped metal. And he still had one good arm. He quickly escaped from them and jumped off, holding his gun pointed at the women. They looked at him surprised and then at the cage, at Chuuya and at their boss and exchanged a look.

           They charged forward and Dazai shot them. He missed. He missed and the women could have killed him, but there was no need. They ran towards him but did not stop. One of them pulled out a blade and cut Dazai’s stomach. He collapsed and cursed his weakness. But, he did not cry.

           He caught a glimpse of Chuuya being thrown over and that was all. Then he fainted again.

***            “Well, you sure fainted very much in this story,” said Odasaku, looking at a half-wasted Dazai from across the table. He didn’t even try to stop him anymore. Chuuya would come to pick him up afterwards anyway.

           “Yeah~!I was ~hic~ dipressed.” Dazai’s head was spinning, but he wanted to finish the story. There was only a little bit to it…

           “You mean depressed?”

           “Yeah, what~hIc~ever now shut up and listen, Oda! This is a legendary story! I bet those kids of yours will love it!” Odasaku sighed and looked at the watch on his wrist. It was a little bit after midnight. He nodded towards Dazai as his friend started to narrate his love story again, interrupted only by his hiccups and the sound of a broken clock.

***

             Dazai woke up with a stinging pain flowing from his arm, exhausting his whole body. A seagull was picking at his hair and only for that reason did Dazai sprung up and made the bird fly away. His whole body was feeling hot; did he have a fever?

           He tried lifting his right arm, but it was too hard. He looked down at it and the sight of Chuuya’s fingers being intertwined with his made him recall everything that happened. He quickly checked Chuuya’s heartbeat; it was there, and Dazai let out a joyful breath. It was weak, but it was ok, everything was going to be ok…

           Dazai got up and put Chuuya’s arm over his shoulder. His left arm was completely ruined; it didn’t even hurt anymore, there was only a sense of numbness. It was going to be alright, repeated Dazai to himself, struggling to walk with Chuuya hanging on him

           He would go and leave the Port Mafia. Maybe Chuuya would want to come with him. Maybe they would go overseas and start their own business. Maybe something like an orphanage, maybe they would buy a house and they would stay there.

           Chuuya wouldn’t have to use his ability anymore. They would be normal, they would be good people, better than they are now. Yes, and maybe he and Chuuya could go watch the pink cherry flowers bloom, they could make snowmen in the winter, they could everything neither of them got a chance to as a kid.

           They could watch the moon on a windy autumn night, while the pie they had tried to cook for hours is burning in the oven they set wrong. The moonlight would illuminate Chuuya so beautifully, accentuating his blue eyes. And maybe Dazai could lean down and…

           “DIE! Die you filthy bastards, you motherfuckers, you gross me out! Die, die, die!!” Yoko Okawa’s voice startled Dazai as the woman came towards them. Her hair was a total mess, and her purple lipstick has been replaced by red stains of dried blood. Only now did Dazai see the other two women lying lifeless on the sand, face up, eyes open, their throats violently split by human hand.

           Dazai tried to go out of Yoko’s path but he felt an overwhelming force pinning him down. He looked at Chuuya who opened his eyes. They were not full of freedom; there was nothing else than pain and anger there. He didn’t know where his friend gathered all that energy to keep going.

           It was a mystery for him.

           Yoko approached, her legs trembling.

           “Die, die, die!” cried she as tears ran down her face, as her hand was gripping on a pointy rock as she was slipping on the blood the ghosts around her left behind them.

           “Mama, come to us…”

           “Don’t kill them, mama! We love you!”            “Darling, we are waiting. Come to us.”

           She stumbled and she fell face forward on the rock she was holding. Dazai winced; blood splashed on his clothes and he heard the woman murmur:

           “I am coming, my kids.”

           And then the island fell silent. Chuuya coughed and Dazai looked down to see the red sand before him. The redhead did not stop and only now did Dazai notice the wound on his torso. It seemed like a knife cut and even if Chuuya tried to suppress the hemorrhage, it was still bleeding pretty hard. His friend went numb in his arms again and the island disappeared right before Dazai could assure Chuuya it was ok.

***

           They were back in the club. The people around them seemed to not notice anything unusual about the two members of the Port Mafia.

           Dazai’s mind was finally starting to function. He needed a hospital for Chuuya, quickly or else it was possible for him to…

           No, he first had to get out of there. The music (who the FUCK plays such bad music, now let’s be serious!) was making his head hurt and the smell of piss and beer didn’t help either.

           He took a deep breath as soon as he was outside. His muscles were sore and his left arm started to awake. But, Chuuya was his priority. Dazai rummaged through Chuuya’s jacket and he pulled out the keys of the motorcycle (Jenna, that was what Chuuya named her) and smiled tired. He clicked the red button and he heard a ding-dong noise.

           He loved Jenna! It was on her way to Dazai and Chuuya. The brown haired thought; once he had Jenna, he would bring Chuuya to a hospital. What was the closest one? Hm…

           “Dazai…” Chuuya’s voice was hoarse as he spoke. “Dazai, please don’t leave me…” Dazai looked down at his friend surprised and chuckled. He brushed Chuuya’s hair out of his face.

           “But, you are a god and I am human. We can’t be together.” Dazai felt a stinging pain in his heart as soon as his words left his lips. It hurt him more that the pain in his arm, more than anything he ever experienced.

           “Then, from now on… you’re no longer human. So, just stay with me.” Dazai’s heart twisted in his chest and he nodded, even Chuuya could not see him.

           “Ok, Chuuya. I’ll stay with you forever.”

***

           “And this is how I got the name of my ability,” finished Dazai, smashing the empty bottle of whiskey on the counter. Odasaku nodded.

           “Hm, I guess it could have been worse.”

           “You, shut up! You old hag ~HIC~!!” Dazai covered his mouth. “HGG, I feel like throwing up…” Odasaku sighed and pated his friend on the shoulder.

           “Well, I should go.” Dazai sprung up and pointed accusatory at the man in front of him. The empty room smelled like Odasaku’s favorite whiskey.

           “You will leave me here? In this ~bleaghh…” Dazai had thrown up on Odasaku’s shoes and the man looked indignanted at the only one that was still keeping him alive. He smiled and he exited on the door.

           “Don’t worry, I’ll always be with you. And, don’t forget that there is someone else you are waiting for.” Dazai didn’t hear those words as he was already asleep.

***

           In the other part of the town, a phone rang. The man who owned it put his glass of wine down and answered.

           “Who is it?” The man listened closely to what the one who called him had to say. He nodded a few times and then said:

           “I understand. I’ll be there in a moment.”

           Chuuya went into his garage and pulled Jenna out and as he was thinking about what he was going to do, he smiled. That dumbass.

***

           The door of Lupin opened as the clock struck midnight again. It was definitely broken. Chuuya eyed his former partner, that was sleeping on the counter, his hair covering his closed eyes. Chuuya approached and he felt something slippery under his feet.

           Of course he had to walk straight in Dazai’s vomit. Of course there was no other way. The bartender appeared and greeted Chuuya, smiling at him. The redhead nodded.

           “Thank you for calling me. Do I have to pay for anything?”asked Chuuya, already drawing his wallet out of his jacket.

           “No, no, it’s ok.” Chuuya frowned at man and slammed 50 bucks on the table.

           “For dealing with this idiot for such a long time.” The bartender smiled and sighed.

           “I see you know how…peculiar this man can be.” Chuuya burst out in laughter as he drew Dazai’s arm over his shoulder and exited from the bar in the cold night.

           “I know better than anyone.” He walked with Dazai to Jenna and he tried to wake up the man. By slapping him hard on the face. It worked.

           “Ouch, what was…” Dazai’s face lighted when he saw who had come for him. “Chuuya! I’ve been waiting for you!” Chuuya rolled his eyes and raised his palm warningly.

           “Hop up right now or I’ll slap you again.” Dazai looked at his friend and he chuckled. He sat up on Jenna, almost falling once, but Chuuya put him back in place.

           “Chuuya~!”

           “What do you want, motherfucker?? Isn’t it enough that I came to pick you up, drunk, at such an hour!?”

           “Can I sleep at your place?”

           Chuuya hoped on his motorcycle and almost punched Dazai. He started Jenna and screamed over the sound of her motor:

           “You are crazy!”

           “I am!”

           Dazai smiled and nestled himself into Chuuya’s body. It smelled like peaches and wine. He closed his eyes and let himself fall back into sleep.

           “I’ve been waiting for you, Chuuya” murmured he as his eyes close one more time. Chuuya remained silent as they left Lupin far away behind them.

             Waiting for you sounds like a broken clock.

****

End Notes

And, yes, while they stayed in that white room (i leave it to you to decide what that was) dazai did tell chuuya that he was leaving the port mafia. and yes chuuya did punch him and he also told dazai that he cant come with him and refused to explain further. for that, he had to let dazai tickle him because i REFUSE to believe dazai left like that he cant he is better that this

i think? ok hope you liked it bye bye muah

[endclean]

Before || Mianite

idk if this counts as a fanfic

its about Kevin, Betsy, and Terry from Mianite and Jordan’s channel

Im sorry this is s u ch   s h i t but i wrote it in literally a day and its satire soooo...

So, here’s the epic adventure:

This was the night.

The night Betsy, Terry, and Kevin were going to break into Disneyworld. It seemed unusual, but the three have been planning this since high-school. It was the initiation into their very own club, “Tiem Reester”. They made it up to spite their nemesis friends, “Team Rooster”.

But why Disneyland? It’s simple. Each had a job to take care of that involved them not getting caught. Kevin was in charge of the maps and the cameras, Betsy was in charge of timing and activities, and Terry was in charge of the security team.  Everyone had to trust eachother and everyone had to do their job right. That was the test.

So, At 12:38 am, the trio reached the back of Disneyland. The only thing left to do was get over the gates. Kevin started to set up the rope.

Terry rubbed her wings around nervously. “I don’t know… What if we do get in trouble? What if you or I go to prison? I don’t want to be alone! Would you visit me, Betsy?” She said, looking at Betsy for comfort. All Betsy could do was smirk at her girlfriend.

“I know for a fact nothing will go wrong. We all can trust each other.” Betsy calms Terry down, before pressing their foreheads together in an intimate moment before briskly running off. Climbing up the rope Kevin set up, she shouts, “Now come on, we got some rides to climb!” This idea made Terry a bit more scared though. She was deathly scared of heights but would never tell Betsy.

The next person to climb the rope was Kevin. “We can never Leave Disneyland if we never enter Disneyland, so come on!” He tried his best at giving advice, but it pretty much sucked.

Once both Betsy and Kevin reached the top, They looked down to see Terry, the Terrified™. Betsy let out a slightly irritated but humorous sigh. Kevin shouts out some words on encouragement that eventually get Terry up the ladder.

Once every chicken was up on the wall, they stood, gaysing at the empty, dark park. Sure, there still were a few security guards walking around, so they were not completely alone. They couldn’t even see any while overlooking the whole park. Betsy had her eyes fixed on the giant Ferris wheel with the ladder on it, imagining herself standing on it, taking in the breeze. Kevin was looking at the drop down the wall. It was at least 15 feet on gentle falling, and he knew that would be the calmest moment of the night. All Terry could look at was the passion in Betsy’s eyes. The tip of her right wing moved around the promise ring that was located in the bottom of her bag. It had, “Loving forever” inscribed on the inside, and a ruby design on the outside.

“Wow. It sure is nice being on top.” Kevin says.

“You betcha.” Betsy, replies, smirking.

Kevin goes to playfully punch her in the arm, but she doges it by jumping down first. Without hesitation, Kevin grabs Terry by the elbow, and looks her in the eyes, making sure she is ready. With a nod, they jump off towards the concrete below.

After a few seconds of falling, they join Betsy at the bottom. “Home, sweet home” Kevin says, shamelessly. Betsy punches him in the arm.

The first thing on the list was to visit the spinning swing set. It wouldn’t be functional, but at least the three could spin around on it before making the trek to the Ferris wheel. And that is exactly what the three did. Betsy and Terry span Kevin around, and then Kevin span Betsy and Terry around on the same swing. By the end, the trio were laughing, and dizzy.

Betsy took a map out of the pack she brought. After studying it one last time, she points in one direction, down a road to the west. “This way, guys.” The other two follow silently, anticipating the fun games from atop the Ferris wheel.

But, once they arrived at the ride, all three were frightened by the massive height of the structure. Even Betsy quivered at the sight of it. Putting her wing on the first ladder step, she gulped. Terry felt comfort in knowing the others were scared too, so she went up before Kevin could.  They climbed up steadily and slowly.  Breathing heavy, it took a few minutes to reach halfway. This was when the unexpected happened.

When the couple heard Kevin shout, “Oh my god! We are so high” they both looked down. Below them was 80 feet of nothing. The sight was terrifying, even for a chicken.

A moment was all it took for Terry to lose her grip on the ladder. While falling, she panicked and flapped her wings. The flapping made her fall sideways. Instead of floating, she was falling. Falling fast. Betsy called out her name, unable to do anything. Betsy let out a terrified, “TERRY!” in fear of her own bestfriend and girlfriend dying. Kevin was frozen in fear.

Fortunately, Terry was able to grab back onto he ladder before she reached the ground. Gasping for breath, she was asked if she was okay by Betsy. Nodding slowly and refusing to look neither up nor down, she waved upwards at the other two chickens. Betsy shouted down, “Do you want to go back?” But all Terry could do was shake her head and start to climb up again.

Once all three were at the top, Betsy pulled Terry into a tight hug. The eventually went to the seat of the wheel, where Terry leaned on and hugged Betsy, while crying quietly.

Terry became of aware of how cold and tired she felt. Some feeling of dread and sadness overpowered her. She felt absolutely helpless as she sat there, selfishly gathering every bit of warmth from Betsy’s body. It wasn’t satisfying, though, so she just stayed there. Still. Tranquil, almost. As if she had actually died. Her eyes were stuck wide open, and no matter how dry, cold, irritated or teary they got she couldn’t bring herself to move enough to close them.

Kevin just stared onto the void that replaced the park, grateful that nothing permanent had happened. This was both false and true, because nothing is permanent. But the memories of that night would stay with Kevin forever. It is both fortunate and unfortunate.

After about fifteen minutes, Terry was able to recover enough from the stress to sit up and look more relaxed. With a deep sigh, “We should start heading down.” Broke the silence. Betsy and Kevin nodded and all three jumped off and floated down gracefully. They kept a watchful eye on each other to make sure everyone stayed upright and safe. Betsy pulled out her map, but before she could look at it, a bright light appeared behind them.

They turned around to see nothing but a security guard. He had gelled down feathers and a nametag that read “Guard Tom”.

“Alright, turn around, wings behind your necks.”

He called for backup. Two other guards came.

Everyone was being read their rights as they were escorted to the front gate. Betsy was speaking harshly to the guards and Terry was crying at a volume that was almost lukewarm, if you could compare the two. Kevin just looked up. He chose a star.

He said, “If there is anything out there, please do something. Take me somewhere where this never happened. Where I can be safe. Come on, Help me out, please!”

Selfish, almost.

I say it’s selfish because it was all about him. He really didn’t give a fuck about the other two, even if they were his best friends.

As he was getting pushed into the main office until the police would arrive, Kevin noticed that everything seemed damp. Quickly, the entire place was filled with water. Kevin couldn’t breathe. He eventually passed out.

..

He woke up on a beach, somewhere he had never seen before. After standing up and gaining some energy back, he tried to yell for help. All that could come out was clucks. He looked around for his friends. He made his way into the civilization, where he would spend his time spying on the humans and gods for entertainment. There was gods, love, hate, death, and life. There was even a relationship between a Goddess and a man. And other between a man and a man. It wasn’t satisfying.

Every night, he wished upon the stars that his friends would be reunited with him.

The End.

 ~7 years later~ (lmao chickens live forever in mc so suck it)

Kevin was making his way to his makeshift hut in the forest, when he chose to peek through a window of Urulu. Inside, he saw the young man that was dating a god. With his messy hair and pajamas, he was trying to get a small child to eat something. She looked like she was under 10 years old. She was too excited to go to school, so she insisted on skipping breakfast. The young man groaned.

“If you don’t eat anything, you won’t have a good time.” The girl was persistent in keeping her mouth shut, even though she was smiling and holding back giggles. The young man groaned.

“Please. For me?” He sounded irritated, but you could see a soft smile on his face. The girl sat down at the table and started eating her breakfast after agreeing that she would take 10 bites of food. This was when the young man let his grin grow cheek to cheek. Kevin forgot what it was like to have that kind of closeness with a person. He missed it, yes, but he thought he didn’t deserve it.

But that was before he met Waglington.