#but like whatever. what's done is done. im going to graduate eventually and im going to b fucking DONE with this shit. eventually.

[botboots]

Saw that your requests were open so what about TFP cons with an adorkable teen human reader? A really close friend (the emotional support bundle of joy™) that is really artistic, kind, understanding and just a pure cinnamon roll, what would be the bots reaction to the lil' human? Optimus, Ratchet,Bulkhead, Arcee, BB, and if you do the kids then the kids. If not the other bots, stay safe!

im back!! so sorry for the long ass wait, had so much going on in my life recently (graduating, going back home, etc.) but hopefully i'll be back to posting somewhat regularly! tysm for the continuous support :] love seeing the notifs pop up every day this is one of the first asks in my inbox (and i completely forgot that the prompt said reader was part of the cons... whoops) and i've wanted to get it done for a while now! have so many more to get through but will get them done eventually - this isn't the best but its cute <3 and you can 100% tell who my favs are lmao warnings: none word count: 939 (GN reader)

-----------------

Optimus:

he finds your outlook on things is a nice change of pace compared to the more pessimistic views that some members of the team can have at times

values your compassion greatly, often turning to you as a confidant over the time you’ve gotten to know each other. a mission went wrong and he’s putting all the blame on himself? you’re there to reassure him in a heartbeat, reminding him that he did his best and there’s always another chance; you keep him grounded

has an innate interest in art and writing - he used to be an archivist, after all

so he enjoys watching you indulge in your hobby, your excitement about it reminds him of his younger years of being a clerk at iacon when he would become giddy over a newfound archaic text

he’s very fond of you and makes sure you know it, taking note of the small things you like and getting you whatever little gift he can manage to find - genuinely thinks you’re cute and likes seeing you happy :] 

Ratchet:

while it may have taken him a little longer than the others to warm up to you fully, he grew to start looking forward to your company (despite his his best efforts to hide it)

he appreciates your quiet company; you’re much less rambunctious than both the other humans and his own team - you complain a lot less too, probably one of his favorite qualities about you

like optimus, your bubbly attitude gives him a much needed break from the dreary duties that come with being the autobot medic

you often find yourselves working in tandem, with you sitting on the couch working on your newest project while he stands at his terminal typing away. occasionally you’ll walk over with a nervous smile, and with a roll of his optics he’ll lower a servo for you to climb into and lift you up onto the corner of the console, huffing when you chirp a thank you before the both of you quietly return to your tasks (he enjoys it, really)

while he’s not one to vent his frustrations to you, he’ll always be open to listen to you vent about yours. even if he doesn’t respond with much, he’ll offer logical solutions and observations for whatever issue you’re having

Bulkhead:

the big guy loves art, having been exposed to his fair share of it by miko, and is very encouraging when it comes to your projects

he might not get some of the nuances or meanings of the things you make, but he tries - oftentimes making you laugh a bit at the sheer amount he misses. it’s endearing though, and you appreciate the effort

too fidgety to sit and watch you do anything for too long, but he’ll offer to drive you to a vista for some inspiration while he does his usual scouting routes, miko tagging along of course. she’ll probably bring her sketchbook with her and sit next to you and draw, chattering the entire time while blasting some music from her ipod, offering you one of her earbuds

Arcee:

similar to ratchet she takes a while to get used to you, a little cold at first to your attempts at friendliness

she notices how happy you seem to make everyone else and eventually makes a legitimate pass at being friendly despite how awkward it feels

but with how eagerly you accept it she doesn’t feel as bad, sighing in relief as you immediately start filling her in on how much you’ve enjoyed your time with the autobots

she’s not much of a conversationalist (especially when it comes to humans) so your chattiness is almost a relief - not having to keep up fake interest and energy with someone puts her in a more comfortable position; especially since you’re not one to comment on it like others tend to

will sit and watch you work on whatever your newest project is, a comfortable silence shared between the two of you

rambles about random stuff from her past sometimes - you turn out to be one of the few people she trusts enough to mindlessly dump her thoughts to, both good and bad

Bumblebee:

one of the first to get to know you, overly excited about having a fresh face around

super curious when he sees you working on something, a barrage of questions translated from mechanical chirps and whirrs with the help (and annoyance) of ratchet

he’ll actually try and mimic some of your art on the walls of hidden ditches where he and rafael hang out, excitedly bringing you along to show off his latest work and buzzing happily when you praise it

will eventually, with your encouragement, try and make something original - he ends up finding it pretty soothing and an easier way to feel understood; communicating his feelings without words can be unsurprisingly helpful for someone who can’t use any of his own

you’ll spend hours hanging out and working on your stuff - he likes when you help him with his own art, adding your own brushstrokes to the concrete wall

he’ll let you sit up on his shoulder just to watch him make whatever he feels like making, or even just taking you on joyrides in the desert where he doesnt need to worry about anything going wrong

while it’s usually you, him and raf hanging out he does enjoy spending solo time with you - usually in silence or one-sided conversations, but you understand each other well enough without words

will also figure out what your favorite songs are and surprise you with them; he loves when you get all giddy about literally anything

[livums]

Why I haven’t written in several months

Im being dramatic—it’s been like 3.

Hello writeblr buds, I miss u and I hope the past few months have been as kind and restful as possible 🥰 I realized it’s been some time since I’ve written anything (or written anything about writing anything) and for some reason it’s of some importance to me that it doesn’t look like I vanished or lost interest/commitment to the space.

I’m trying to quit my fuck ass job :/

I have a whole lot of feelings about the job + the field itself and why I think my time in it is drawing to a close, but I probably won’t take the time to write about it here, unprompted. What’s much more exciting for me is, I think, my goal itself.

I realized in like November that I’m doing that thing again—waiting for my life to start. It started when I received an art book Kickstarter reward in the mail and held a very pretty holographic print in my hands up to the light in my bedroom. My bedroom walls were bare, and had been for the past year and some change, when I moved into this unit. I hadn’t felt comfortable decorating knowing I’d be moving out in “only two years”. I caught myself waiting for permanent stability again. Oops! My bad.

I spent hours decorating my walls with all the prints I’d accumulated over the past several years and I felt…. A way. I started using stickers in my journal.

What was I waiting for? What the fuck was wrong with me?

I’ve known I wanted to center art and creativity in my life for as long as I can remember. I’m not going to blame my parents or whatever, but I was told over and over again not to throw myself into pursuing art as a career. It’s not financially viable. “You’ll never make a red cent.” I’d never told them at all that I wanted to do art for a living. I convinced myself for a long time that I didn’t. Lol.

Before I graduated from college in 2020, I faced a decision. I could go to art school, I thought. I could get an MFA. I held an art school catalog in my hand that is requested in the mail. I’d carried it everywhere for months.

I went to grad school instead. Not that I’m bitching about getting into such a prestigious program in my field, but it always felt like the ultimate compromise. It’s something I could tell my parents about and have them be proud of me, while hopefully I could devote time to art on the side. It’s what I’d been doing for the past four years—compromising. I had a professor or three notice, even. Lol.

I moved to a new city in 2020, alone. I was turbo depressed. One day, I spent hours watching animated student films on youtube and bawling my eyes out. Before I had graduated from college, I’d faced a decision and chosen wrong. I asked myself over and over—What do you do if you chose wrong?

Grad school was a nightmare, and I’d rather die than go back, but I don’t even necessarily regret going, I think. I think it was important for me to be in this profession, at least for a time. Maybe this is just me coping, lol, but going to grad school inspired much of what I ventured to write in 2022 and 2023.

Anyways, when I recently held that holographic print up to my bare landlord-white walls, I realized that if I waited any longer to let myself live my life how I wanted, then I was an idiot. In kinder words. I have no excuse not to. I’m giving myself massive grace by believing truly that the past seven years were not a waste of time, but I can’t lie to myself that I’m satisfied with the way my life is right now.

The point is-- I’ve slowed down writing recently because my focus has shifted to art. I’m DEFINITELY not done writing. Not at all! I just realized that if I want to achieve my goal of making enough consistent money off of art to leave my job, I’ll have to start treating art like a second job. Between devoting time to my fuck ass job, to art as a living, and to writing seriously, I’m in kind of a pick-any-two situation. Before, it was fuck ass job and writing seriously. I want to eventually be focused on art and writing as the pillars of my livelihood—that’s my ultimate dream. And we all know that writing is the longest game of creative and financial delayed gratification ever, lol.

I haven’t really talked about this that much on my other socials, lol, but for whatever reason I woke up this morning and felt like I wanted to give an explanation for my sparse writeblr presence. As I hopefully get to scale back to part-time clinician in the future, I hope to get back into some of my stories and start re-breaking old bones into something new and revitalized.

AN EE WAYS, if you’ve read all that, thank you. Mutuals, if u want my discord, feel free to pm me! I’m not disappearing (I will be on tumblr just as much as I have been, which is to say, daily), but I’m much easier to reach by other means. I’ll be (and have been) posting much more on my art blog @lurrkingly as well! If you’d like to um. Witness Me, I’m most Witnessable there or on my art Twitter (also @lurrkingly). (I also have a spicy art Twitter linked to the main one, which I hope to probably be. Siphoning off of for income one day soon. Praying etc.)

I have a game plan, my partner is an excellent support (I think they like playing manager, LOL), and I think, I really think, that I can do it! 🥰🥰🥰

Ok bye MWAH! I like you guys and I’ll never leave! 🎉 💜

[sansloii]

Name: Hollis! ( though, i go by Marshy as well and have for about 6 years )

Pronouns: she/they

Preferred comms: discord because tumblr ims are questionable at best. i also uninstalled the app because of how often it would just randomly crash for little to no reason so.... if you want to reach me, disco is the safest bet

Name of muse(s): I have eight wonderful creatures of varying temperament. Batch 1 was Mikah. Batch 2 was Penelope, Wynn, Evan, Dakota, and Joseph. Batch 3 was Roderick and Andris. I also am working on fleshing out Vega properly but he's not quite done yet.

Experience in RP: in about 2012-ish, i was into f.andomstuck and i had an oc for that until like.... 2014-ish? it was baby's first blog and i didn't really know what I was doing. I had fun, while it lasted, but i also knew some of the people in this community ( like they went to the same high school as me ) so any issue we had on tumblr would translate into lunchroom confrontations. I didn't enjoy that part so much and my interest for it fizzled out by the time i graduated. then, i jumped over to the fire emblem fandom and made an oc for fire emblem awakening! i think i stayed in that rpc until 2016/2017 and i had two ocs, a mother and her son from the future, that i still very much adore. there were ups and downs and i feel like i was taught.... multiple frustrating lessons during my tenure there. it did help me develop my writing a lot and i have to say that i'm honestly better off having taken the chance to do it.

lastly, i ended up here in 2017 and i'm not leaving. i also have another massive oc blog i'm slowly reworking but i'm trying not to stress myself out lol.

Best experiences: it's very difficult to put specific experiences into words because most of it, for me, is vibes. my best experiences have been interactions and plots with people that I not only get along with but like... you know--we understand each other. like if i decide that i'm not going to rp on tumbles for a month and maybe just stick to headcanons, i can do so without fear that you think i'm wasting your time. or that we can pick up where we left off and it's okay if you respond to the months old thread you had with me. or! we can just stay up until the wee hours of the morning talking about ideas or blorbos or getting really into a discord rps. like it's the vibes that i can come to you like a fart in the night with a gifset or image like "hey this is our muses" and, likewise, you can do the same with me.

to those of you who i vibrate at the speed of light towards at any given moment, you know who you are. thank you for being patient with me and giving me the space to vibe with you :)

Pet peeves / dealbreakers: i feel like every time i open my mouth about pet peeves i have, i sound like a crotchety old person that always has something negative to say deep down ... but w/e. it's my soap box.

i've noticed that since i've come back, it feels like i have to be the one that's chasing some people for interactions or plots more often. or like. right out the gate, they wanna jump from A to Z and be best buds and whatever so we can speedrun everything. or... i'm expected to or have to do most of the work because they're quite literally doing none of it after expressing interest. and like some of that isn't inherently bad! i'll be the first to admit that if we're friendly enough and progress something enough to where it's like... an established thing? we can have something going faster than the speed of sound after that. we can have multiple ships, a dedicated au, a whole slew of worldbuilding shit together and i won't care because i know said person on some level. and that took time + a whole slew of back and forths.

however, it doesn't feel great to express that "hey i want to plot something but it'll take time and like... if we're shipping on top of that, it'll take double that amount" and watch, in real time, as that person just... eventually leaves you on read. and/or just doesn't interact with your content anymore. and i can tell the difference between being preoccupied/ having not great week/taking a break from tumblr entirely/being slow and being put on a shelf/ barely acknowledged very clearly. i shouldn't have to feel like i'm competing for a slot or something, which is the vibes i got sometimes and ( as you would expect ) didn't like.

this isn't directed at anyone i'm currently following, ofc. i know i am not perfect but i also know that i am an extremely patient person, which is how I want to be treated. It's very frustrating to try and try and try again only to get the bare minimum from people i genuinely wanted to interact with. but c'est la vie--such is life--and i move on. i, like many others, have limited time to be on here and if something doesn't bring me joy after a month, two months, three months, I'm more than willing to part with it. there has to be effort on both ends in some way and if you want me to pat your ass, pat my ass too.

Muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ): you cannot make me choose. now, does that mean that I write them all in equal amounts? certainly not. but it really depends on my mood. sometimes, all i wanna do is talk about soft moments. other times, i want to put my muses in a blender and watch them process what's happening to them. occasionally, i'll let them roam free and be as horny as they like. the key is to always cycle through the three so you don't get burnt out on any one of them.

Plot or memes: uuuuuhhhh it depends? plots are my fucking jam and i like having a general storyline to follow when writing and then figuring out the little details when we get to them. it's a long process but i enjoy the wait and the buildup more than i enjoy air so djsfdvdfvd--

buuuuuut i also think memes are a valueable, valueable springboard into interactions. and plotting straight outta the gate can be intimidating for some. plus, if you want to plot but your head is empty atm, finding and sending memes with the same vibe as the plot point you wanted to discuss is helpful! i'll admit that i'm not great at sending in memes but it's not for lack of wanting to. it's more not knowing what to send and picking a muse to send along with it that trips me up. Plus, not being here most of the day tends to mean i miss a lot of meme reblogs orz

Long or short replies: long replies but i do trim them shorter or rewrite portions of them. sometimes, i will write what i deem to be "too much" for a reply ( e.g: my partner has like 350 words and i'm sitting at like 625 words ) and i'll go back and edit it down to 450-500 if i find stuff that doesn't really move anything along or is just needless padding.

Best time to write: it used to be late night but i pass out too often for that to be effective anymore ( because of my sleep schedule for work ), so i tend to favor late mornings and early afternoon. if i'm writing late at night, it's because i didn't have time during the day to do so.

Are you like your muse(s): n...not really in most cases. like we share some traits here and there but for the most part, my personality, sense of style, and morality deviates from most of them.

tagged by: @rexpyre tagging: @arcxnumvitae @gunrising @royaletiquette @nezumivc103221 @bonesofchaos and anyone else that wants to.

[shiftingdiariesofophelia]

Hey, I just found your blog and was wondering,

1.) what are your DRs that you've shifter too, ?

2.) what is your main DR,?

3.) how long have you been shifting for, ?

4.) how old are you,?

5.) how was your first shift like?

hey! all are very important questions, so i’ll do my best to answer them effectively, and entirely honestly.

1. so, funny story. i haven’t yet “fully” shifted. i believe that i’ve gotten to a void state/waiting room before, but as for actually getting into my drs, there’s been some hiccups. mainly it’s my own issues focusing and distractions in my personal life. a lot of my information i’ve given out on this blog comes from research i’ve done for myself and things that i have compiled for my own/other people’s benefit. i’ve spent hours upon hours researching, but i just haven’t quite gotten there yet. to be honest I’ve only “attempted” to shift a handful of times, as i’ve really been really focused on scripting and affirming and all the stuff around shifting that ISN’T shifting. i would never lie about shifting so i’m just trying to be 100% honest in that I haven’t yet reached my DR. i talk about things in my DR as if i’ve been there as a way to subconsciously assume that i HAVE been there before, and I’ve found that it makes scripting easier because I feel like Im just writing down facts of a place I’ve already been to.

2. My main DR is a Harry Potter (Golden Trio Era) one, that I’ve changed a bit of the plot and such for. I’ve been working on that script since pretty much the moment I decided to get into shifting, and it’s probably like 30+ pages long at this point. I have other DRs that i’m not really focusing on right now and haven’t really scripted for yet. My plan is to shift to my main DR first and go from there.

3. I’ll be honest with you, I’m still a baby shifter. I heard about shifting for the first time in 2020 (it was 2020 dracotok 💀💀💀) but the timing wasn’t really right, there was a lot going on in my personal life, and overall shifting just didn’t feel “right” to me yet. Eventually, I rediscovered it, and something in my soul just felt like it was what I was destined to do. I’ve never had that feeling before, and I haven’t had it since, but part of me just knows I’m meant to shift. As for how long I’ve been actively working on shifting, I think only about a month and a half? here’s the thing though- I’m a very obsessive person and i fixate on things a lot. That month and a half has been pretty much nonstop in terms of learning about shifting, scripting, meditating, affirming, etc. Any free moment I have, I’m thinking about my script, or my DR, or reading advice from other successful shifters. i just never feel like the time is right to actually attempt to shift, and i only really attempt when things feel right.

4. In this reality i’m 18, i just graduated high school recently! In my main dr i plan on being 11 again. i’ll not go into a lot of detail here but i had a pretty rough childhood, so i want to experience the childhood wonder that comes with going to Hogwarts and just getting to be a kid again. i’ve heard from experienced shifters that they recommend shifting to be younger so you have time to adjust to your DR before anything major really happens, and that sounds like a solid plan to me. I’d also like to experience my whole schooling in my DR, not just have memories from the first couple of years.

5. Again, I’ve never technically reached my desired reality, but instead I will explain my waiting room/void state/whatever the hell happened to me. I used the interstellar train method/guided audio. I’m not someone who ever really has a very vivid imagination, I can’t really “see” objects so much as I can just like- feel what they would look like, if that makes any sort of sense. but basically all i know is i was trying to imagine i was on a train, and then suddenly i could see everything. i could still hear the audio, so i’m not sure that i was really “gone” or whatever. but it felt like someone talking over an intercom. i saw my destination on a map in front of me, and i saw the picture of the train going through space on its line. when the train was supposed to stop and let me off at my destination, my desired reality, it just didn’t stop at the station. i took that as a sign that something was still holding me back from my desired reality. since then, i’ve done a lot with mindfulness. getting into meditation, accepting my consciousness, affirming that i deserve to shift, stuff like that. i get heavy symptoms every time i sit down and actually try to shift. i’m close, i know i am. i just need to make the final push.

[alwastakenofc]

ITS TIMEEEEE !….

i finally got my student loans figured out (aside from this stupid ass $55 late fee apparently put on my account after they already started the transfer of the remaining loans to my bank…???????? idfk, i’m stressed abt that LOL but at least it’s not Thousands in the hole like it was before, it’s just $55 i need to pay…. PLS GIMMIE MY LOAN REFUND SO I CAN PAY THAT RLY QUICK AND BE DONE WITH THIS ALL FOR THE SEMESTER, EDUCATION GODS!!!) and i’m all enrolled!! AND !!! i have a professor from a couple years ago that was SO understanding and helpful when i was failing outta his and another professor’s class (bc my mom’s cancer was rly kicking in and i was her full time caregiver and doing Everything around the house) and im taking his class again!! im rly surprised bc i was Definitely in bad financial standing in 2022 when i failed out, but for some reason i can still get my financial aid and they couldn’t find any record of me being in bad financial standing??? and im just like, OKAY COOL WHATEVER!! IM NOT QUESTIONING IT BC I NEED ALL THE FINANCIAL AID I CAN GET FOR THESE LAST 2 SEMESTERS!!

( ・∇・)

so !!! anyways, i saw some video abt some girly vaping for 7 years and getting some mf holes in her lungs and that scares me as someone with mf asthma already LOL so i rly do wanna/need to quit vaping, but idk i feel like i might stick to it for this semester LMAO then after this semester i’ll be Done and will Quit during my japanese language semester bc i wanna be FULLY FOCUSED.

i also wanna quit wax/dabs again, i went on a lil bender of smoking weed for like 2 1/2 weeks Straight and built my tolerance right back up so that’s annoying. i want to be Sober during my classes/the weekdays and save smoking for the weekends. i will say i am glad i have been keeping drinking to the weekends as well but mannnnn my roomie and i had a massive drinking and gaming sesh like a week and a half ago and im tryna not drink like that again LMAO, i drank a little a couple days ago for the weekend but def not as much as when we drank together a week and a half ago LOL.

aaaaaannnnnyways yea i’m stressed abt going back to college and ESPECIALLY for my japanese classes LOL i rly gotta like relearn EVERYTHING and hope for the best within…. 4 months? it shouldn’t be TOOOOOOO bad, it’s mainly just the semester of japanese that i fucked up in 2022 that i gotta rly practice. just the whole of the genki 2 book i rly should commit myself to learn tbh. yea that’s prolly a good goal LOL. get them *words and kanji specifically* memorized; listening and speaking is easier for me i guess, it’s lit just remembering how to write and what is what when writing that is hard!!! 😭😭😭 ugh!!!! if anyone has any reccs for apps or books to help practice 2nd year japanese for university pls lmk, i got some apps (screenshots below) and like i said, the genki books, that i use rn!!

alrighty well, next up LMAO. i can’t mf WAAAIT to graduate bc i mf WANT TO GET A NICE JOB AND MOVE OUT ON MY OWN WITH MY KITTIES SO MF BADDDDDD ‼️😥🙂‍↕️ like im so nervous thinking abt it but then i also get so excited !!! and imma try to find smth to transfer to in japan maybe after working in a govt position for a couple years; i would wanna see if i could choose to work in a specific prefecture with my experience as a TESOL teacher (esp if i keep doing my online TESOL job like MWF or smth? keep building the experience for that while also building experience in a professional setting??? oooohhhhhhhhh?!?!?!) or if i could even work with a japanese or american business that’s stationed in a big city in japan as a correspondent???? idk that could be fun LOL but i dont have Business experience…. unless its some educational business, that could be interesting!?!?!?!? idk the possibilities are endlessssssss ugh. esp if after a couple years i can maybe take my remaining 2-3 classes i needed for my japanese minor and get the certificate for that eventually …???? OR i just go back to college and get a separate bachelor’s by majoring in japanese only???? LOL idk maybe japanese business idk that would be fun!!!! ok i have a lot of things to think abt now that ive started considering LMAO.

good stuff, okay! i’m done heheh, have a good one all 😋 see ya when the semester starts bc i’ll be rly stressed out i’m sure 😅

PS don’t mind duo laying there in the background of the screenshots, i haven’t rly used duo in a hot minute so the green bird is angy at me 🤓

[joanofexys]

Do you have any highschool advice? Cus you graduated (sorry for anon.. I’ll be damned if I reveal my age on this app lmao)

that’s so real lol, anons are always welcome

don’t skip out on the high school events. i seriously rolled my eyes at everyone who told me that but im so glad i went to senior sunrise and sunset and went to homecoming and prom and my senior ball (idc about the more coupley dances cause i went stag every year). if you don’t have a group to go with don’t be scared to ask a friend if they’re going/if they want to go together/if you can join them

don’t stack your schedule with hard classes. my senior year i was gunning for a scholarship and took a bunch of AP classes, the workload was a lot and i burnt out hard, and i had to drop a ton and lost the scholarship. if you’re taking AP classes get a study hall period. it’s a lifesaver. and you deserve easy classes/silly classes/classes you love amongst the challenging stuff. i took a creative writing class every year and i ended up not only loving it but it was an easy class and i ended up with a teacher i knew i could rely on

don’t save those required classes you’ve been dreading and putting off until the very last year or semester. you’ll just wind up with a schedule that makes you miserable. i took all my PE classes my sophomore year and it made my junior year and senior year so much better not having to think about it

bring water with you fr. like that’s so silly but i drank so much more water when my water bottle was with me and the days i forgot it were miserable. also drinking fountains just suck

don’t be scared to talk to your desk neighbors. it’s kind of weird especially if they’re people you don’t really know but eventually you’re gonna have a group project or group discussion and it’s a lot better if you already know their name and how to talk to them

idk how long your passing periods are but mine were short so don’t stress about your locker or keeping stuff in it. getting a good backpack and figure out what you can carry easily without killing your arms and back. cause i learned very quickly i had zero time to get to my locker between classes

i truly just stumbled through high school so my advice is bs i’m sure but don’t force yourself to adhere to a rigid schedule or what everyone else thinks is a good schedule. studying for five minutes or getting the homework done last minute is better than not studying or doing the homework at all. also turn in your late work!!! it’s annoying as fuck ik and sometimes a little embarrassing but if the deadline for late work isn’t up just get whatever you can in. you’d be surprised at what it can do for you (especially in an AP or honors course)

uhhhhh idk i’m kind of just spitballing here but if there’s every stuff you need to talk about or ask about im always hanging out here

[thesunshineriptide]

What do you think the TWST boys would major in college?

Oooooooo good question. Im gonna answer kinda quick as to why. I’m also throwing some people in here I genuinely don’t think would go to college/back to college but what I think they’d do instead. Thank you for the question!!

Can’t the Future Just Wait?

Characters: Riddle, Trey, Cater, Ace, Deuce, Leona, Ruggie, Jack, Azul, Jade, Floyd, Kalim, Jamil, Vil, Epel, Rook, Idia, Ortho, Malleus, Silver, Lilia, Sebek

Cw// swearing, talk of mental health, talk of characters past, mentions of criminal activity and death

Heartslabyul:

Riddle

He’d start college majoring in medicine to be a magical healer, then he would probably end up switching to law because it’s something he’s more passionate about. He then ends up double majoring in Law and Psychology

Trey

Would start college undecided, ends up actually majoring for a psych degree. Riddles overblot traumatized his ass so badly that he wants to be able to help people before they get to that point. He attends culinary classes in his free time, but doesn’t minor in anything.

Cater

I don’t think he would go to college, but I do think he’d end up taking a course online to get a certification in social media management but other than that. I think he works as a social media manager most of the time, either for a big company or for himself as a YouTuber, and then probably teaches guitar to kids for extra cash.

Ace

Ace would be tryina go to college on a basketball sponsorship and end up as a philosophy major. He broke his leg in one game and that basically ended his career so now he’s gotta pick something else and philosophy is an easy degree. Eventually drops out and works for Azul instead

Deuce

Deuce has said he wants to be a magic police officer man so he’s doing whatever that entails in twisted wonderland. I’m from America and our police training is like 6 weeks long and you don’t need a degree but I’d imagine it’s very different based on what everyone says. I 100% think he achieves this goal though

Savanaclaw:

Leona

He wouldn’t go to college except for the fact that he doesn’t wanna go back to the sunset savanna so he decides to major in political science and minor in linguistics. He spends another 7 years completing a 4 year degree before he just goes home. Ends up being the diplomatic emissary for his kingdom and improves relations incredibly fast

Ruggie

Ruggie is going where Leona is going, so he’s an undecided major for the first two years, just taking any classes that line up with Leona’s schedule, then ends up finishing his time by majoring in social work and community development. Uses these skills to take Leona’s money and sink it into his community at home

Jack

I feel like he’s at trade school learning to be a carpenter. When he’s done he probably lives off the grid in a cabin in the forest making handmade chairs and selling them and his homegrown fruits and veggies at the farmers market/art fairs

Octavinelle:

Azul

He majors in business, minors in music. It should work but it does and he excels in both classes. Probably ends up running like five businesses and making a fuckton of money. Once he graduates he takes a year off to travel, then goes back to college to get another degree in culinary arts, with a minor in graphic design. He doesn’t worry about money because he’s a loan shark at school.

Jade

He majors in forensic science and minors in botany. When he graduates he ends up working for Azul again, but not with the degree. Ends up going back to college two more times, once to get a degree in pathology (which is easy, as forensics translate well to that) then to trade school to get a degree in culinary arts. This perturbs everyone he goes to school with. Ends up being a chef at one of Azul’s restaurants.

Floyd

He goes for basketball, then gets bored, switches his major like 50 times, then decides to drop out and work Azul instead. Jade gives him tips on how to avoid…conflict. Azul pays him well and continues to be amusing so Floyd continues working for him.

Scarabia:

Kalim

Kalim goes to college for astrology. He doesn’t minor in anything. He gets his associates degree and calls it quits and goes home to do Kalim things. Literally never uses his degree

Jamil

Jamil doesn’t go to school, but he does spend a few years training in martial arts. After he’s done and finds out that - hey, no, you don’t have to be responsible for Kalim - then he goes to college to become a dancer. Vil hires him to be a backup dancer for him in both music videos and on tour

Pomefiore:

Vil

I’m torn on saying he doesn’t go to school and saying he becomes a triple major. Here’s the thing, artists popular in their youth are kind of a limited time commodity until they’re like, 50 and get popular again. So Vil going to college is simultaneously a great investment and a horrible decision. I think in the end he takes non-credit college classes in film, production, music, visual art, and graphic design, but never gets a degree. He does use the classes to further his art though.

Rook

He majors in Ethology. He gets a doctorate in it. He doesn’t use this in a professional setting. Becomes a private eye instead.

Epel

Tries to go home instead of college but his family insists he goes. Ends up majoring in agricultural studies and minoring in alchemy. Uses this to create magical gmos and stretch crops in a way that could be supplementary to food deserts.

Ignihyde:

Idia

He doesn’t need to go to college, or want to go to college, so instead he just codes video games. His games are massively popular and spawn several franchises. He also creates the twisted wonderland equivalent of five nights at Freddy’s

Ortho

Can he go to college? He says he can! Majors in history and minors in English. Uses his degree to tutor kids online

Diasomnia:

Malleus

He goes to college because Lilia insists that he should. He majors in creative writing and minors in analog technology (verses Technomancy). He doesn’t use this to further his kingdom, but instead himself. He ends up penning beautiful poetry and releasing it under a fake name. He takes the analog technology course so he can always repair his tamagotchi

Silver

Because of Lilia’s insistence (and malleus attendance) he goes to college as well. He starts in creative writing but he finds that magical healing sounds really appealing and transfers to that with Lilia and Malleus’s blessings. He becomes insanely talented at it and in particular studies similar cases to his affliction to find a cure. It also comes in hand as one of Malleus’s retainers.

Lilia

He majors in teaching and specifically zones in on either teaching elementary school or on history. Tries to take a course in culinary arts as well, he is banned from this. Once Silver and Sebek are grown, he uses his degree to get back to work and teach a younger generation.

Sebek

I want to say he does whatever Malleus does, but I don’t think it’s true. I think he studies marine biology. Probably infodumps everything about it to everyone who will listen. This doesn’t come in handy in any way, but he’s passionate so it doesn’t matter

[mudzdale]

Care to share some of your sfm cowboy au???👀

oh anon NOW youve done it (affectionate)

OK SO i only have a GENERAL idea of the storyline + caveats but. largely

PREMISE: habit is an outlaw, bc its a cowboy story and what fun is a cowboy story without an outlaw (: he runs an unofficial, unrecognized little settlement constructed from the remains of a old ghost town... name creativity was a sliding scale at those times, so it probably wound up being called "Habit Town" or something, rather than The Habitat, and the name unfortunately stuck lol. also thinking of making the year 1894, because 100 Years Difference Funny

habit is of course motivated by his childhood floral/lily-related trauma, as in canon, BUT he also is fueled by his parents disallowing him from being a farmer/horticulturist (which was like. a backup plan for him not being a florist), forcing him into doctoring/dentistry, and then his rejection as a dentist by society at large. medical professionals (and unprofessionals, as it happens) were not trusted by civilians, and often for good reason, but ):

fed up with the lack of control over his own life, habit takes to drifting. he probably ""officially"" becomes an outlaw around this point in time, committing petty crime to sustain himself along the way. eventually he discovers the shell of a half-built ghost town in the wyoming wilderness. it was abandoned before its completion, due to a combination of disease and resulting economic failure, and lays long forgotten now. habit sees opportunity to take control of One thing in his life, and develops the remains into Habit Town.

kamal is, like habit, a college graduate. he came all the way from the east coast and also found difficulty in being accepted by westerners. he was a dentist as well (they likely met back when boris was trying to establish his dental business), but recieved a more thorough education at his school. not long after joining habit’s scheme, he consequently wound up being pressured into the role of ""mayor"" of habit town (a hugely nominal title, since habit is really the one pulling the strings. despite this, hes proud of it... but, it's not exactly what he signed up for.....)

the other habiticians are either outlaws alongside boris, a la robin hood's merry men, or simply other societal outcasts who are brought/lured to habit town by boris, to the end of whatever Evil scheme hes cookin up. im leaning more towards the latter, where theyre just like "uh we just live here... the guy who runs the place is. ok i guess. But Man Is He Weird."

but a town of outlaws would also be hilarious, and fun...

fk as a character is also flexible in whether they stick to game "canon" or have a more unique story. i think theyre some sort of farmer, and definitely a gardener. they could come to habit town For Their Own Reasons, like in the game... but again you could get really creative with that, since the setting is so flexible. i had this thought of habit stealing something from fk's farm, like cattle maybe, and in turn fk pursues him all the way to habit town. do they seek only to retrieve what's theirs? to enact justice upon the thief? or just give him a smooch and then go home... that'll be up to them.

really stuck in what the Evil Plan in question will be actually /: given the setting, i feel like it could be something different than the in-game "artificially build the worlds biggest smile." could be a little more westernish. idk. especially since boris' motives are a liiiittle different as well, due to the rougher environment (less hippie, more survivalist).

on the other hand... if it aint broke, dont fix it. he'll be working on building the worlds biggest smile until i can come up with something clever..

this pursuit gig could be fun narratively bc along the way story advancements Could happen. like no matter where they set out from, its going to be a Long way to habit town, which is incidentally set squarely in the middle of buttkick-nowhere. there are many difficulties that face travellers on the road, proving a danger to even an experienced rider. maybe habit has a brief scrape with a gougar cougar on the way, which knocks his saddlebags loose... breaking his journal, and losing a few of its pages to the winds... containing valuable backstory info, just blowing off to conveniently findable places behind him..

if anything i Do know that The Big Event is TOTALLY going 2 be a Showdown At High Noon. its great. the faceoff is declared but u can only see the shadow-habit silhouette thru the beams of bright sunlight at the end of the street... u both turn around to take ur ten paces... and then BOOM everything goes black bc he CHEATED and knocked u out before u even got there. fk then wakes up in the dentist chair or whatever the Evil Plan ends up requiring. idk after that point lol. tooth lily does need to happen for "true" end, as usual

after the dust settles, and assuming habit survives, the Society of American Florists will have had an established presence for at least a decade, and im certain would be more than happy to take on another member (: but otherwise thats pretty much all i got so far! looking forward to doing more with it if i can <3

[smnthwrd]

im currently hyperfixating on the movie flipped and since theres not nearly enough of a fandom on here to follow i decided to say fuck it and write mini fan fiction type thing to get out some of my feelings, so yeah heres some backstory:

basically this is set after they graduate highschool. juli gets into a college thats across the country, as well as an opportunity to study abroad, but bryce doesnt get into the same school. they talk about it a lot and eventually make the really hard decision that julis going to go and theyre going to take a break while theyre apart. so here it is:

dont go.

i wanted to tell her, dont go. but i couldnt make myself, i dont know why. maybe i wanted to let her go; to know that i wasnt going to be the one to stop her from experiencing the world she had always dreamed of. id like to believe my reasons were that selfless. But the truth is, i was just afraid. i was afraid that if i aksed her to stay, and she did, she would grow to resent me for it. even more than that, i was afraid that if i asked her to stay, she would say no. that she would say i wasnt worth it, that she wasnt going to let a silly thing like young love stop her from seeing the world.

i dont think i could bear to hear her tell me im not worth it.

i wanted to tell juli baker that i loved her, and i had since the moment we first held hands as kids, when i ignorantly thought id be spending my whole life trying to get rid of her. i wanted to tell her that if she left right now to go see that big beautiful world, she would be breaking my heart into a thousand pieces, and that i would never again find someone who could occupy all the parts of my brain the way she does. i wanted to tell her that wherever she was, was wherever i wanted--no, needed to be, and that if she wouldnt stay with me, well then i would just get on that train and ride with her all the way across the earth, so long as i could stay by her side.

but i didnt.

maybe she was right all those years ago. maybe i am a coward. after all, ive always been afraid of conflict. id rather just stay quiet and smile along as people say whatever rude things come to their minds than stand up to them and tell them theyre wrong, and risk causing any discomfort. ive gotten better, though, thanks to juli. she makes me want to be better, to make a difference. she showed me that i can stand up for myself and others, and that i dont have to sit back and listen to people tell me who i am or what i want. thanks to juli baker, i wasnt so afraid anymore. but that wasnt enough this time.

"dont you go forgetting about me, juli baker," i faked a half-smile.

she rolled her eyes.

"i couldnt even if i tried, bryce losky." with a smile she turned around and began to make her way up the steps to enter the bus.

"juli! wait," i burst out just a moment before she was lost behind the bus doors. her head snapped back, showing a look of slight concern. i paused, trying to muster what courage i could. "do you remember back when we were kids, you told me i had been walking around with your first kiss?"

her face flushed before she answered with a shy smile, "yeah, why?"

"well you see, the thing is..." i kicked at the gravel, silently telling myself not to screw this up. i almost laughed thinking about how flustered she could make me, even after all these years. "Well, its my belief that you, juli baker, are walking around with my last kiss." her eyes lit up with a smile, and she pushed her hair behind her ear with a small chuckle. i was smiling too. "Now feel free to hold onto it while you go change the world, but dont forget to bring it back here when youre done."

her smile widened as the bus driver's voice echoed through the station, shouting a last call. she hesitated for a moment, glancing back at the annoyed driver, before she hopped off the bus and hurriedly pranced towards me to plant one long, sweet kiss on my cheek before turning swiftly back around and bouncing up the steps once again. This time she only stopped for a moment to look back at me with that beautiful smile of hers, and then disappeared behind the bus doors.

a bittersweet feeling washed over me as i watched her pass through the windows of the bus, coming in and out of view as she scanned the aisles for an empty seat.

she was leaving. my juli, was leaving to go see the world.

and i was staying here, watering a sycamore tree and waiting for her to return, hoping and praying that she wouldnt find someone out there who was better than me, or more worldly, or less afraid to speak up. devastated as i was, there was an undeniable feeling in the front of my mind that told me not to worry. juli baker was walking around with my last kiss, and someday she would be walking around with a ring on her finger to prove it.

I smiled at that thought. my ring on juli bakers finger. or, i suppose it would be juli losky? either way, i knew that image would carry me through the next four years apart from her.

ultimately i know that it was a good thing i didnt ask her to stay. studying abroad, seeing the world, it was her dream, and she needed to follow it. but i always wonder what she would have said if i could have just gotten out those two words: dont go.

[carpisuns]

rambling about taylor swift 🤪lol

i know people would probably call me fake or a bandwagoner or whatever lol but i actually think my relationship w taylor's music over the years is cool and it makes me a little emo to think about tbh haha. i was a big fan during the fearless/speak now era when i was in my early/mid teens. then my music taste kind of developed in a bit of a different direction and by the time red dropped (when i was a senior in hs i think) i wasn't as interested and actually never got into that album and wasn't even familiar with the songs other than the most famous ones.

1989 dropped when i was in my sophomore year of college and i had a brief resurgence of interest because it was a great album but i was really just listening like casually and didn't get to know it that well other than the most popular songs. reputation came out after i graduated and i wasn't a fan of the vibes at all so i was like :/ guess i'm officially done with ts? her music and image seemed to be going in a very different direction than i was. as is true for most people haha my music taste had changed a lot between my early teen years and my 20s and altho i enjoy various things, my main vibe is like folk pop/acoustic indie i guess? so when lover dropped i listened to the entire album that night and enjoyed it, but i wasn't super attached.

fast forward a bit. im listening to some acoustic vibes playlist on spotify and there's this song i really like. i look at it and do a double-take bc it's taylor swift?? i had been like vaguely aware that she'd dropped an album during the pandemic (maybe 2? this may even have been after evermore idr haha) but i hadn't listened to it. so i checked it out and i was like. holy cow. this is my EXACT vibe. i love every song. this aligns with my music taste perfectly. same with evermore. i got excited because i did not expect to be a taylor swift fan in 2021. her earlier stuff would always be nostalgic to me, her middle stuff would be decent (of what i'd heard of it at that point), but now i was excited about her music again. because somehow, after all this time, our tastes had aligned again.

i listened to folkmore and evermore on repeat. all day at work. in the shower. while i did the dishes. while i drew. when fearless (taylor's version) dropped, i was kind of iffy because i didn't really see the point of it or understand the hype since we had the originals already and it seemed kind of money-grabby to me. but i had some close friends (anna and abby!) who were very enthusiastic about it and they explained the purpose of her taking ownership of her earlier music. so i listened to the album—and i was surprised by how emotional i got!!!! because these were all the songs i had loved so much when i was younger, but now they were a little more mature sounding, and i felt like i was revisiting and honoring my past the same way taylor was. i fell in love with it all over again and that made me want to familiarize myself with the albums i'd kind of missed. and i fell in love with those too. reputation still isn't my vibe as much as the others but it has some gems i really like. and now i adore lover and red and listen to them all. i was thinking about it recently and decided that after folklore and evermore, red is my favorite album. so im so happy that we have taylor's version of it now!! all these beautiful songs remade!! 10 MINUTE ALL TOO WELL ARE YOU KIDDING!! and all these other new songs aaaaaaa im in love i love this album. and all of her albums. after a whole decade, taylor swift is again one of my favorite and most listened to artists.

idk when i think about the whole thing it makes me a little emotional because i was like an OG taylor fan but then my music taste changed and so did hers, in a different direction from mine, but eventually they converged again, just in time for me to return to my Roots with fearless and then rediscover what i'd missed and fall in love with all of it both for the first and second time simultaneously. idk, im turning 27 soon and it just makes me think about growing up and getting older and at the same time remembering the good things about your younger years and recapturing the nostalgia while still looking forward. it makes me feel hopeful. like there are good things behind me mixed in with the not-so-good things, and the same is true of what's to come. maybe im just someone who's always late to the party lol but it's been special for me find all of these things that spark joy for me this year. and since im ML trash lol all of this intricately tied to that. i got into ML right after lover dropped, and when i got into taylor again i of course applied the love square to every song lol and now i've been hugely inspired creatively by taylor's music in my fanwork as well as just in general. idk it's just special to me to enjoy things and feel things and feel connected to other people through them! i am grateful for taylor and ml and annascribbles and abby (sha-nwa) for getting me back into taylor and also just being wonderful people! heart is v full tonight and im literally just rambling about personal stuff that no one will read but idc bc what else is a blog for!!! lol

anyway stream red (taylor's version)....it's delicious and im emo

[gojology]

Job Benefits. (Part One)

new beginnings ‧₊˚✩彡. - chapter one.

you can find part two here : part two : undesirable

pairing : ceo! gojo x female reader

warnings : cursing

wordcount : 1960

a/n : something that i’ve been working on for a while now. this is self indulgent as all hell and i’m starting a new series n idk when it’ll end necessarily but ceo gojo is all i need in my life. also i have like 300 million requests to go through but i PROMISE i’ll get them done! i just need to finish my valentines event thingy and i’ll be open! 

it has come to my attention that gojo is his surname and i’m too lazy to fix anything other then the first name basis part im so sorry LOl

         It’s no secret that you like working the office.      Even as a child you enjoyed the formal atmosphere when you walked into your parent’s workplace, and even better, you enjoyed organizing stuff. Growing up, your favorite pass time was cleaning and organizing which caused you to excel in school, coupled with your natural smarts. Your peers would constantly tease you, telling you that you were a boring kid- but hey, you’d be making lots of money, and what better job would there be for you, aside from being someone’s secretary?      Those were the first words that came across your mind as soon as you stepped into the prestigious building, heels rhythmically hitting the stainless floor, suitcase in hand. It was also the first lie that you’d tell yourself in there.      You had known about this company even as a child. One that sold just about everything, the most notable being luxurious clothing, but something the company was also well known for? How attractive the family was.      Sure it was a bit weird, but in defense of the general public their appearances were rare, only once in a while you’d see the family on TV. Waving in their limousine, blowing kisses and doing things rich people do, or maybe ignoring the cheering crowd of journalists and news reporters, hell like you knew.     Catching glimpses of the wildly white haired family was something every paparazzi threw themselves at, and picking up a magazine or going to search something on the internet would be sure to be chock full of pictures of the esteemed family. The highlight of the family being the son, just because of how handsome he was, and also happened to be the most publicly known and fawned over family member-     Gojo fucking Satoru.      Luckily for you, he was your boss, so you could probably reveal the tiniest of secrets and make major bank. Unluckily for you, he was childish as all hell, not to mention you found childish people incredibly annoying. The worst thing? You were his secretary.      That could only spell out doom for a man like him, and a woman like you, who only wanted to get business done and nothing else. You two truly did not mix.     Two months prior, you had gotten the job and was finally excited to have stable income after graduating. Your hirers didn’t tell you anything about having to babysit a manchild though.     And so, that’s how you found yourself sitting in the comfortable plush leather office chair, fumbling under the piles of paperwork and fan letters, cursing your boss’s name under your breath for being so unconcerned with work. Scheduling appointments, interviews, sending e-mails of unacceptance to eager authors asking to write an auto-biography, that was your life.      You’d be content with it if your boss was normal.      As soon as the thought crosses your mind, it’s like he heard you think.     “(Y/N)-chan~!” you hear a familiar sing-songy voice down the rather short hallway. Your office resided right next to his, and it would only take him 30 seconds or so to walk down to your door, presumably to annoy the hell out of you. You grunt, blowing a stray hair out of your face.     This also meant that you could hear him sing from his office, even through the thick walls.      Choosing to ignore it, you instead furiously typed to another business executive’s secretary who had just emailed you about a meeting between Gojo and- well you weren’t quite sure who.      “(Y/N)-chan~ I know you hear me, don’t you know it’s disrespectful to not listen to your seniors?” his playful, deep voice was growing closer, and you straighten your back, sighing. You didn’t sign up to be a daycare worker, yet this was what you found yourself doing most of the time.      “I’m sorry, Satoru-sama, please instill me with your great knowledge, oh wise one.” rolling your eyes and rubbing your temples, you glance up from your laptop, bracing yourself for whatever would happen next. Gojo leaned on the frame of your door, head ducking slightly. He was way too tall to walk under it without any issue.      He was unnecessarily calm though, normally he’d be jumping around your office, making a mess of things, but his body language told otherwise. He was slacking off from his duties, obviously, so you weren’t too sure why he’d be acting so... Chill.     With his arms crossed, he gave you a mischievous side eye.     Growing impatient, you stand up, your knuckles grinding against the tabletop. Your brow knitted together as he peered down on you, almost tauntingly, and you hated it.  “Listen, boss. I have a lot to do today, for you, might I add as I am your secretary- and if you’re going to sit around I don’t think I’ll get to these emails and phone calls and everything fast enough. May I kindly assist you with anything? If not I’ll have to ask you to go back to... Whatever you were doing.”      Gojo looked at you, wide-eyed and unblinking, like he didn’t expect such a sassy remark. “Oh my, sweetie. Someone has a naughty mouth... To your boss of all people? How mean! I don’t think I remember putting, ‘allowed to be rude to the Satoru clan’ down on the job benefits.. What’s with the formal tone as well? So unnecessary, just be yourself when you’re talking to me.”     He sauntered closer to your desk, and your breath hitched, this was one of the first times you’d seen him up close like this, and you swore that you could hear your heart beating rapidly inside of your chest. You don’t know what that could mean; but what you did know was that you wanted to slap him or punch a hole into the glass window right behind you and throw him off the 15 floor building. Leaning in close to your ear, he whispered:      “Or, if you wanna stick with the business voice- call me sir. Got that?”     You nod before looking down at your desk, feeling your body heat up for seemingly no particular reason. Did this guy have any knowledge of a private bubble? Whatever, this was your superior. If it was any boss you’d probably be fired by now. You were lucky to be forgiven.     “Yes, sir. May I comment on something... Er, sir?”     “I’m all ears.” standing back up from leaning over your incredibly messy desk, you looked up at him, he looked down at you in response, with beady little “innocent” eyes through his circular shades.      “I didn’t mean to be sassy, I only wish for this relationship to be professional and nothing else.... I, um, truly do apologize and I ask for your forgiveness.” you studied the wall as you say this, fidgeting with your hands and the hem of your pencil skirt. It was a bit awkward to talk to him as if he wasn’t a kid, but it did feel certainly refreshing.      “Is that so?” you turn your head to look back at him as a sign of respect, an eyebrow of his is raised, and a smug smirk is playing at his lips. He talked with such an aura of arrogance around him, you instantly regret being respectful. Yet, you restrain yourself from slapping that stupid smirk off his stupidly handsome face.      Why did all the handsome ones have to be so annoying?      Fuck, no, that wasn’t meant to be a compliment. Even though it was only in your mind, you felt so embarrassed, and had no idea why. It wasn’t like he could read your thoughts, and it was just a mindless compliment, nothing flirtatious about it.       Finally, he spoke. “Aw. (Y/N), I knew we picked well when we hired you. So respectful and professional! What more can I ask for out of a secretary? I humbly accept your apology- but first please do something for me.” he whistled in the other direction as he picked up one of your cute stationary pens, hastily sliding it into his blazer’s pockets.     “Yes, sir?” you brace yourself for impact yet again. Not noticing that he stole one of your favorite pens.     “Slack off a little. None of my secretaries ever worked this hard. I’ll slide in an extra hour for lunch, you can go watch a movie or something-”      “No. Satoru. Contrary to your other secretaries, I actually enjoy work.” standing up now, you stomp over to Gojo, who was now giggling like a 7 year old girl. You hadn’t realized that you had called him by his first name, but honorifics wasn’t on your mind right now.     Your chest stuck out as you shoved him out of your office with your bare hands, maybe as a way of looking more threatening, as if that’d ever work against him.     “Get out of my office!” You hope your eyes are staring daggers, if he ever looked back at you.     Gojo looked at you like he was shocked, tipping his shades down just slightly as you were pushing him out into the hallway. As if he didn’t believe what he was seeing, so he had to see it with his actual eyes- but eventually laughed before accepting his eventual fate.      “On a first name basis now, aren’t we? You’re straightforward! I like straightforward girls though, it works out in your favor.”     “Shut it.”      He made sure to stiffen once in a while just to piss you off so that you couldn’t push him as easily, and before long he was back to his office.       “Cya (Y/N)!” giving you a wave and a wink, he grinned. “I’ll be sure to visit you again, your office is fun!”       That was just one of the unusual interactions that Gojo Satoru had with you, but you knew now that it certainly wouldn’t be the last.  ‧₊˚✩彡.      It didn’t take you long before you realized your favorite pen was gone.       Almost immediately, you figured out who the thief was.       It was evident by now that your relationship between you and your boss wasn’t normal, to say the least. You just couldn’t quite wrap your head around why he stole a cute carrot pen, it certainly wasn’t his style. Well, you weren’t quite sure honestly, but the way the magazine front covers posed him was... Sexual.       Maybe the hot guy liked cute carrot pens and was too scared to buy them by himself, but, it was 2021. Toxic masculinity was basically extinct.      This wasn’t on his mind when he stole your pen, though. Gojo Satoru was smart when he wanted to be. To be quite honest, he just wanted to annoy you more. It made him curious, how could one enjoy work? And be cute at the same time?     The logic made no sense to him. Attending meetings, doing interviews- this was all very boring work to Satoru, and he couldn’t wrap his head around that you enjoyed that. He hadn’t asked to inherit the company, but yet here he was now. Shit, maybe he’d ask you if you wanted the company.      He yawned before drinking his coffee, just how he liked it before taking a sip he straightened his tie, just to make sure he looked extra clean and fresh when you busted down the door, ruffling his fluffy white hair as he did so.     Gojo hated the work environment, just to be straightforward. One thing he did enjoy was the complementary luxury coffee machine, alongside several sugar packets. Placing his impossibly long stick-like legs onto the table, he sighed happily.      Cute girl being his secretary, drinking yummy coffee, the sun rays warming up the back of his head, he was truly living the life.     And then he heard it.      Loud steps against the tile floor.      And then, his door flung open.         

[thewhitejournal]

Just One More Night

Aaron Hotchner x Female!Reader Series

hello everyone! welcome to a new series im starting, this one was actually requested by @art-and-thoughts so shoutout to them. i’ll put their request below so you can read what it’s about, and i hope you all enjoy! :)

plot: Shortly after getting divorced, Hotch needs some sort of distraction from his work and personal life, he ends up meeting a younger girl and they start a casual relationship. He doesn’t want to know much about her than what’s necessary, so they just meet for ~sexy times~ and it works good for both of them for a while. The reader is graduating in communities and criminology; JJ finds out she’s going to have a baby, so she decides to call someone from outside to “coach” and replace her. That’s how the reader ends up at the BAU.

content warnings: smut, cursing, a bit commanding here and there, fingering, oral (male receiving)

-

Finals kicked your ass, that was a fact. You stepped out of the study hall and your tennis shoe met snow, covering the steps to the doors. You kicked yourself internally for not checking the weather, shivers already taking over your body. Snow went flying from the ground as you rushed to your car, a sheet of it falling off the roof when you slammed the door. The cold didn’t necessarily bother you, but not dressing appropriately for it did. Your car sputtered to life when you turned the key in the ignition. While you tried warming yourself up and while you waited for the defrost to kick in, you checked your phone.

The cold metal of the thing wasn’t exactly comforting, but your notifications were coming in at record speed. The group chat you and your roommate and the friends you’d met since last year made together kept bombarding you with who’s typing and who’s already said something. A little part of you dreaded opening it, knowing you were probably fully behind on whatever was happening.

They loved you, that’s for sure. But they always teased you for being ‘addicted to school’, and that you needed help for your addiction. You couldn’t help you were devoted to your future, the career at the FBI looking closer every day. It’s always been your goal. More specifically, you wanted to be a profiler. Ever since you started researching career paths and colleges in your senior year of high school, it stuck with you. You wanted it, and when you found something you wanted, you weren’t giving up until you had it. Hell, you’d just got done reviewing the subjects for next semester.

A sigh escaped your lips as you opened the chat. The rundown of it was that they wanted to get together for drinks to celebrate the end of the semester. You weren’t much of a party person, but you knew it wasn’t an option for you since they said they would be meeting there in half an hour. All you wanted to do was go back to the dorm and pass out, but you figured, why the hell not? You knew you deserved a break; one night couldn’t hurt.

After making the short drive to the dorms about half a mile away, you turned the car off and hurried inside. You came in with a bluster of cold air, kicking off your wet shoes next to the door. Your roommate was getting ready in the bathroom; her favorite ‘hype’ music was playing and you could smell the hairspray from the front door.

You didn’t have time to shower, and you figured it was fine since you had one this morning. So you fixed yourself up, doing a little more makeup and slipping into the outfit your friend picked out for you. You stepped into the bathroom next to her to fix your hair.

“(Y/N), going out without bitching? Are you feeling alright?” She teasingly put the back of her hand to your forehead as if to feel for a fever. You rolled your eyes, smacking her hand away. Both of you shared a laugh. Within minutes, you two were ready to go. You piled into your car, which was still a little warm, and started driving to the bar they picked out.

Once you were inside, you saw your other friends waiting for you, drinks already on their table. They waved you over as if you couldn’t see them; they were already tipsy. A smile grew on your lips as you and your friend walked over to them, happy to see your friends happy.

“To this shitty semester finally being over!” Your roommate toasted, a shot already in her hand. She was holding one out to you, and you took it, clinking your glass with the other girls before downing it. After sitting and talking and laughing and drinking for a while, you started surveying the bar and its patrons. Your curious gaze fell on a table of men, one of them significantly older than the rest. He had a glass of whiskey in front of him. His hands that donned a huge ring with an insignia that you couldn’t make out were gesturing in the air like he was telling a story.

The man standing next to him looked to be about your age, maybe older. He was a skinny little thing, listening intently to the older man’s story with a smile on his face. He looked like he was drinking some kind of sparkling water. The other guy was buff, wearing a tight, grey t-shirt. Dark brows on his forehead danced with emotion as the story went on. His smile was huge; he had some beautiful teeth for a guy. A beer dangled casually in his hand.

The fourth man was unlike the rest of them in his own way. He was wearing a brown pullover and dark jeans, his short black hair gelled and styled. His fingers twirled a whiskey glass on the table, and it was about empty. You noticed a tan line on his ring finger, but no ring. This was intriguing. A Rolex shined on his right wrist. He had a small smile on his face, adding to the story here and there and laughing. You couldn’t hear it, but you were sure it sounded lovely. His brown eyes crinkled when he smiled.

“(Y/N), what the hell are you staring- oh, I see. The skinny one?” Your roommate Rachel asked you, her gaze fixed on the men now, too. She looked at him like she was a lion and he was a gazelle, and it was dinner time. You chuckled, shaking your head.

“No, Rach. Don’t worry about it.” She gave you a knowing look like you weren’t getting away with it that easy. Her body turned towards you, and she leaned on the table. Her brows furrowed.

“Which one, then? Cause brown jacket’s been making eyes on you since you walked in.” She stated. You turned to face her, your eyes widening.

“Oh my god, can you keep your fucking voice down?”, you hissed under your breath. You tried looking over at them inconspicuously, to see if they’d heard, but you couldn’t tell. You felt the blush creeping up your neck and onto your cheeks. A sly smile made its way to her face. She giggled.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” She prodded your arm, laughing. You tried to play it cool, trying to make her calm down, but it wasn’t working. She burst into laughter, nearly doubling over so hard she about fell into the floor. God, she was drunk. You glanced over at the table, and you swore you saw him looking over, but only for a second.

Butterflies started roaring inside of you, in your stomach and even wandering lower. It was like nothing you’d ever felt before. The liquid courage started flowing through your veins, your heart pumping in your chest. You might’ve gone over and said, or ever did, something if you were a hundred percent sure he was interested. But you weren’t. Rachel eventually recovered from her laughing fit, leaning on you like you were the only thing holding her up. You steadied her as best as you could.

“Rachel, you should drink some water. You’re wasted.” You rubbed her arm, a concerned look on your face. She stared at you for a second, copying the look on your face.

“Fine,” she slurred, “You need the courage more than me anyway.” Your brows furrowed, giving her an inquisitive look. She giggled, covering her mouth when she let a snort out. “Because...look behind you…”, she whisper-said, falling on your other friend to her left. You felt your heart speed up in your chest, your body turning on your heel.

The man was sauntering over to you, his friends cheering him on behind him. He was laughing and shaking his head. You chewed on the inside of your cheek as he got closer. Fuck, he was tall. That smile on his lips made you blush, and the look in his eyes said more than words ever could.

When he finally reached you, he slipped an arm around your waist and leaned down to whisper in your ear. He smelled like pine and leather, and you felt your body tense up. There’s no way this was happening. The hottest guy in the bar, picking you out of the crowd? This never happened.

“Wanna get out of here?” He smelled like alcohol, but you were sure you did too. It took everything in you not to moan at the mere rasp of his voice. You hummed in an affirming tone as a response. This wasn’t like you, but you didn’t care. He was hot and the looks he gave you alone were enough to get you soaking wet. He took your hand eagerly, pulling you out the door and towards a black SUV. The plates on the front looked like government plates, but surely not. The car wasn’t your focus at the moment, anyway.

He shoved you against the passenger door, somehow rough and gentle at the same time, his arms on either side of your waist. It took the breath out of you, but you were breathless already so it was hard to tell just how much of an effect it had on you. His dark eyes looked like those of a hungry predator, tracing all over your face and body. He licked his lips, eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips.

“Do you wanna do this?”, he asked you in a low and sultry voice. You put your hands on the sides of his face, nodding. You leaned forward and closed the gap between the two of you, pressing your body to his, along with your lips. His hand pulled your waist to his body, the other hand getting lost in your hair. He moaned against your lips, and you felt yourself twitch in your underwear. God, he was so fucking hot.

“Good, get in.”, he commanded. You’d never been talked to like that. Your pussy twitched again, and you had to hold back a whimper. He opened the back door for you, and you crawled inside. The backseat was spacious, which was quite useful for what was about to happen. He settled himself in the seat and shut the door behind him, locking the car and pulling you into his lap, his back against the door.

He smashed his soft, pink lips onto yours, his tongue twirling with yours. His lips left yours and he started trailing rough kisses down your neck, his teeth grazing your collarbone. You craned your neck back to give him more room, a little moan slipping from your lips. “Oh, you like that, baby?”, he asked you against your skin, his fingers slowly pulling down the straps of your dress onto your shoulders.

“Wait…”, you breathed out, and he pulled away. He asked if he’d done something wrong, an apologetic look in his eyes. He’s hot and respectful? Fuck. “No, I… I just want to know your name.” He chuckled deeply.

“Aaron. What’s yours, honey?” God, that voice was the death of you. You were surprised he couldn’t feel how wet you were through his jeans.

“(Y/N).” A smile grew on your lips, as did on his.

“Nice to meet you, (Y/N).”, he whispered, leaning into you again and kissing you. You slid your heels off and heard them clatter on the floor, kissing him back, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing yourself against him. Your legs fell over his waist, straddling him. He hummed contently against you, his huge hands resting on your waist.

Instinctively, you moved your hips against his jeans, a moan slipping through your lips. His hands fell to your thighs, hastily moving them under your dress to play with the hem of your panties. You whimpered, and he pulled away, looking you in the eyes.

“You want these off, (Y/N)?”, he purred in your ear.

“Fuck, yes, Aaron, please…” You were a mess, but you didn’t care. You just wanted him so bad, and you didn’t even know him. His fingers tugged at them, pulling them down your thigh and shoving them in his pocket, a sly smile on his face.

“Come here, baby.” You obliged, sliding your hands under his shirt as you kissed him roughly. He bit your lip, a yelp coming from you and a deep chuckle from him. The two of you parted for only a second so that his jacket and shirt could come off. You admired his skin in the faint light from a nearby streetlight. Something that stood out to you was all the scars on his stomach. You leaned down and kissed every single one of them, undoing his belt in the process. You could feel how hard he was through his jeans. He moaned, his head hitting the window. “Fuck, you’re so hot…” His voice sounded so attractive when he was hot and bothered.

His hands pulled you suddenly back into his lap, hands resting on your bare ass. “Your turn first.” His thumb had no problem finding your pulsing clit, and he started rubbing circles just the way you liked. You gasped, moaning and burying your face in his neck. He moaned too, pushing a finger inside you and pumping back and forth. “You’re so wet for me, (Y/N).” You couldn’t speak; the power he held over you was insane. He kissed your neck so roughly you knew it would leave bruises that you’d have to cover up. Good thing it was scarf season.

He added another finger, and you started riding him; you were a moaning and sloppy mess. You put your hands on his strong shoulders to steady yourself, and he moved his fingers faster. The knot in your stomach tightened, and you could hardly breathe. Your eyes rolled back into your head and all you could feel was his hot chest against you and his long fingers inside you as you rode out your orgasm on them. He pulled them out, and you instantly missed the feeling. You whined at the empty feeling.

“You want to clean them off or should I?” You could barely focus on his words, your pussy still pulsing.

“I want you to taste me.”, you breathed out. Without hesitation, he licked his fingers clean, amber eyes rolling into his skull and a guttural moan coming from deep inside him. You got turned on again just from that vision itself. He pulled your dress off of you and threw it on top of your panties on the floor. He hungrily stared at your chest, sucking on your nipple and playing with the other. Your hips bucked against the leather of the seat, a groan slipping from the both of you.

“Lie down.” You did as you were told, lying down on your back. He unzipped his jeans and kicked them off, but not before pulling a condom out of the back pocket. His dick was pushing against the thin fabric of his boxers. Fuck, he’s huge. Of course, he is. Going against orders, you sat up and looked up at him, taking him into your mouth. He groaned, pulling your hair back away from your face. “(Y/N), holy shit…” He thrust into your mouth, but you didn’t mind it. Your hands stroked his dick for what your mouth couldn’t take.

You pulled away, knowing he was ready. His light brown eyes from inside the bar were now pitch black, his chest heaving and sweat beading on his forehead. You put your hand behind his head and pressed your lips into his, and he moaned against you. You could feel his dick pressing onto the inside of your thigh, and your hips naturally started riding it. He wasn’t inside you yet, just slipping against you. Your nails dug into his back, the feeling too much to take. His hands held your waist so tight you think he might leave bruises, but that didn’t matter.

Hurriedly, he pulled the condom on his dick and made sure you were ready and willing before he started fucking you. Slowly at first, he thrust what felt like halfway inside you. He filled you up so nicely, like the two of you were made for each other. “Fuck, Aaron, just like that…”, you breathed out into his ear, moaning and rocking on top of him. He helped you stay steady as you took all of his dick, and he started speeding up. You held onto him like he was your last breath, and his wandering hand found your clit again, rubbing those familiar circles on it. He started sucking on your neck again, and you could feel him twitching inside you. You came not a second later.

You rode it out, seeing stars. He was breathing heavily, kissing your lips as softly as he did before you started. You kissed him back with what little energy you had left. “That was…”, he whispered, looking into your eyes. “Amazing. You’re amazing.”, he finished his thought.

“Wanna do this again sometime?”, you asked him shyly. He smirked at you. “Sorry, that was-“

“I do, (Y/N). Get dressed, I’ll drive you home.” You smiled at him, and he returned one. You didn’t worry about your phone or purse; one of your friends would grab them. He was dressed quickly and got out of the backseat, closing the door behind him and walking around the front of the car to get in the driver’s seat. You pulled your dress back on, along with your shoes.

The lack of Aaron’s body heat made you realize how cold it was this late into the night. You crossed your arms over your body, trying to make yourself as warm as possible. He motioned for you to get in the front seat, so you did, getting out of the car. The parking lot was almost empty, and it was snowing. You opened the passenger door, climbing in.

“Are you cold?”, he asked. He was warming the car up, turning dials and making sure it was getting defrosted. Not that it needed to do much work with all the heat you two made. You looked over at him; the caring look returned in his eyes. He looked handsome in the dim light of the center console. You nodded, and he pulled his jacket off and handed it to you. You gladly took it, his smell wafting around you when you slid it on. You told him where your dorms were, and he didn’t seem to mind that you were still in university.

The two of you drove in comfortable silence, the white flakes whizzing past the windows as he drove. Thoughts flooded your head about what had just happened, and how you felt about him. You couldn’t fall for him, but you had a feeling you could at some point if you weren’t careful. Unbeknownst to you, Aaron was having the same thoughts.

He parked outside your building, and he gave you his number and you gave him yours. You started taking the jacket off, and he stopped you. “Keep it. It’s cold out there.” You gave him a small smile and thanked him, and he pressed one last kiss to your lips before you got out of the car. He made sure you got inside the building before driving off. You watched the black SUV pull off in the white flurries outside. The plates caught your eye again; those were US government plates, for sure.

What the hell have you gotten yourself into?

[neverdoingmuch]

Wait cql lawyer/law school AU

i got you my pal dont worry!!

law school, im gonna be honest and say i know like nothing about law or law school so pls ignore any inconsistencies or inaccuracies

lwj goes to law school and he is definitely the top student in his class. they’ve been there for like a month and everyone already knows he’s gonna be the best

his one and only competition is this dude called wei wuxian but lwj isn’t particularly worried about him

so far they’re still in the stage of the course where they do the fun things to sucker people into doing the class for the semester so there’s been some practise debates and arguments and stuff in their tutorial classes

wei wuxian has that Charisma and like yeah all of his arguments are perfect but also he has an amazing smile and people are like yes i can trust him 

(he’s definitely the sort to be like hm, the easy way to argue this case would be to quote some laws and use precedence to justify this but that’s boring)

lwj is also good at that sort of stuff because his arguments are perfect and everything is so perfectly researched that there should be no ground at all for someone to lodge a counterargument

(wei wuxian manages somehow and it makes lwj so mad)

but that’s whatever lwj thinks,, a lot of people join law thinking it’s gonna be like the tv shows and books and then get completely blindsided when it comes to the rote learning part or like the actual laws 

and for all of wwx’s confidence, lwj hasn’t actually seen wwx so much as touch the textbook/s and he always studies in the law library so he knows that wwx has probably never even been there bc he hasn’t seen him even once (why’s he looking? bc he needs to see which books wwx uses to study,, bc there has to be something going on there,, obviously)

then they do their first like proper written assignment and lwj and wwx tie for the highest scores and now lwj has a Rival and he refuses to lose to someone who thinks that putting a ‘-us’ sound at the end of a word makes it latin (did wwx say habeas corpus and then point at a soft drink and go  sprite-us can-us,,, maybe,,,,)

anyway! lwj and wwx are kinda rivals for the top spot and it’s one of those situations where one test lwj wins by a point but then the next test wwx gets full marks and they just keep exchanging the top spot in class

and this whole time wwx is like The Worst to have in class. he’s always interrupting to ask questions or just straight up not listening and spends the class doodling pictures of rabbits (they’re cute but wwx is terrible and he’s not allowed to make cute drawings)

so after a few months the most horrible thing happens.... they get put together in a project and lwj is like ugh. internally of course but his face is also saying ugh

the first time wwx and lwj get together to work on the project, lwj is prepared with a proper list of tasks to do all nicely split up between the two of them and a schedule for when they should get certain parts done by. 

needless to say, lwj does not expect wwx to be ready, but wwx is definitely on top of things

he rocks up and is like yeah let’s do this, this and this and have them done by this time - basically proposing to do everything that lwj has already written down

and lwj is pleasantly surprised and is like hm maybe i misjudged wwx and decides to like re-evaluate his opinion on him

in doing so he realises that when he’d never seen wwx studying, it wasn’t an exaggeration at all. he’s never seen wwx so much as touch a textbook or spend more than a minute on a laptop doing something that wasn’t minesweeper or solitaire

but wwx is also making all of their deadlines and even adds extra information and resources to their document that could be useful elsewhere and sometimes he shows up to their study sessions and he looks absolutely exhausted

eventually lwj manages to get the truth out and wwx is just like yeah it’s easier to get worse grades than a genius but if you both study and you still get lower grades, it’s not easy,, for jc or for me

so wwx usually studies at night when his brother is asleep and lwj is like that’s bad, you can’t keep that up and just when wwx is about to go off at him lwj is like you can come study at my place

and thus begins the wonderful time where everything is alright and lwj falls in love with wwx

they work really well together and wwx is strangely considerate and nice? when he finds out lwj likes rabbits, he goes out and buys bunny post-it notes for lwj and starts to always bring him a doodle of bunnies every time he comes over. he always gets his work done on time, early even, and his work is always so brilliant and every time wwx smiles at him, lwj feels warm inside etc etc

for a long while lwj is like yes (: this is friendship (: bc he’s never had a crush before but then on the day they submit their project wwx is like hey,, the two of us make a great team,, we should always work together,, now and next year and even when we graduate,, i want to help the innocent people who need our help and i think i’d like it a lot if you joined me and lwj has his oh moment

they get a perfect score on the project of course and even after it finishes, wwx keeps coming over to lwj’s place to study or just hang out and lwj is just falling more and more for wwx each day

they’re best friends now and everyone gets used to seeing them work together on projects and then turn around to try and decimate each other when they’re working one on one and lwj thinks that he might just be the happiest he’s ever been

but then one day wwx doesn’t show up to class. it shouldn’t be strange but wwx has never missed class even once and he ends up hearing from lxc who heard from jgy that wwx was caught sabotaging some other student’s work (the other student was jzxun, who had a fondness for playing devil’s advocate and other than wwx once telling him that his argument was shit, wwx never spoke to him or seemed to know who he was but lwj is a bit too angry to remember that)

he manages to find wwx outside of his dorms as he’s moving out and he’s just like why did you do that? and wwx is like oh y’know,, bc he’s not really sure what’s happening himself,, one second he was at the top of his class and the next he was being brought before a board and being told that he was being expelled but he’s not going to tell lwj that bc lwj would definitely try and stand up for him and then they’d both get expelled

but lwj is furious and just spits out well if our dreams meant so little to you then maybe it’s a good thing you failed now,, bc his mother was a lawyer who took all these little jobs that helped people who actually needed the help and lwj was looking forward to doing that with wwx and he doesn’t even seem to care that now they can’t do that 

wwx flinches and then smiles at him and just cheerily says, that’s me and leaves. he doesn’t look back and lwj doesn’t chase after him.

lwj doesn’t see him again for years (you can do 13 or 5 or however long you feel like)

lwj is a fully licensed lawyer and he’s working for the family company and he spends half of his time working on cases and uses the rest of his time to do like outreach programs where he goes and visits schools and runs sessions on what it’s like to be a lawyer, how to apply, and to provide assistance to any students who decide to study law at uni

and then at one of these programs he meets this kid, wen yuan, who is ridiculously bright and enthusiastic and has a smile that seems oddly familiar

at the end of the second session he comes up to lwj and is like mr. lan, is your name lan wangji? and lwj just says yes, expecting the kid to be a fan of one of his cases or something but then wen yuan is like oh wow! i thought i recognised you from my dad’s photo!

and lwj isn’t expecting much but he asks what the photo looks like and wen yuan pulls out this photo from his pocket and lwj immediately recognises it,, it’s the only photo he has of him and wwx

your father is wei ying? lwj asks him and wen yuan is like yes, hesitates, and then asks, would you like to see him?

and that’s how lwj finds himself following wen yuan to some dinky little office that has a plaque outside that reads wen and wei

(wen ning is the nicest and sweetest person ever and lots of people underestimate him but then he’s an absolute monster on court. he gets up and completely decimates the opponent and then at the end is like (: it was so nice to meet you!! i am baby!! and all that,, you know our boy)

anyway they walk in and wwx turns to greet wen yuan but then he sees lwj and is like woah! you! and he’s not sure whether to hide or go and hug lwj so he just gives him a fist bump,, like a bro,, and immediately wants to shrivel up and die

anyway they get the reunion stuff out of the way, swelling music, tender wrist holding, lots of staring, lwj silently declaring his wholehearted love for wwx and refusing to believe rumours about him again even though he doesn’t actually know what happened, you know how it goes

from wwx’s side of things,, after he got kicked out he went to some small uni. good in its own right but not known for their law program and ended up specialising in family law

the first case he ever won was for the wens to have the right to keep custody of a-yuan and the first case wen ning ever won was to let wwx adopt a-yuan bc i’m soft like that

so wwx has just been kinda vibing,, being a single dad, living with the wens and helping to make that difference he always promised he would

now this isn’t gonna be some au where lwj goes oh my! i must give up my high salary job and work with wwx! bc lwj has been doing good stuff at his current job and for all of his family’s stuffiness, they run a fair and just company 

but! he does end up helping wwx when wwx gets a letter with a bunch of information about the jins and how they’re actually super corrupt and evil (big surprise,,) and how wwx was maybe definitely framed bc he was doing some casual work on the side and stumbled across some bad shit on the jins back in uni

lwj ends up being the one to take the case officially but wwx is definitely the guy leading it and so lwj ends up spending most of his time at the wen-wei office

lwj definitely bonds with wen yuan, who also wants to go into law, and writes him recommendation letters and helps him edit his applications and stuff

(and one day wen yuan is like leaving you was the hardest thing dad ever did and i dont think you appreciated how much he cared about you. he really did think that he annoyed you ‘til the end and lwj is like no! he didn’t! and wen yuan is like yeah i know but you gotta tell him and lwj really does mean to but the time is never right or something like that but also wen yuan is all but calling lwj dad at this point)

anyway they end up going to court, side by side, working as a team just as they promised to do and just as they finish their final day on the case, ended with the jury ruling jgy guilty and wwx’s reputation all but saved, wwx turns around and flings himself at lwj

is he crying? is he laughing? a bit of both tbh but wwx ends up confessing right then and there, still on record and everything (is that how that works??? idk! let’s say it does)

and what can lwj do but make out with him?

did a news crew come in to film the results of this massive court case just to end up with five minutes of wangxian kissing?? maybe! but when it played on tv it meant wwx and lwj didnt have to actually tell anyone they got together

(and does lwj eventually pop the question using wwx’s bad latinification? yes and wwx is too busy laughing to accept at first but he does and they end up being the worst possible tutors for wen yuan as he goes through law school bc they keep being all gross and lovey-dovey and acting like law school is the most romantic place in the world)

[plounce]

what if gay CATS........... were gay PERSONS

(info on this au under the cut)

theyre all shitty young adults just kind of. getting through their early 20s as best they can. or as much as they can. maybe things will get better someday, but right now they’re kind of spinning their wheels

magic exists but like eh it’s not a big thing don’t worry about it. it’s around but like whatever. not many people have it and it’s mostly just like. a curiosity or a party trick

demeter and bombularina are together, tugger and mistoffelees are together, bombularina and tugger occasionally fwb, it’s cool and aboveboard and it’s all fine

demeter:

bisexual with a preference for women. 24 years old

semi-psychic (not as powerful as tantomile or coricopat). tends to have vague and confusing prophetic dreams

dropped out of grad school for sociology due to trauma and ensuing intensified mental illness. kind of bitter about it, but tries to get through every day. general anxiety disorder even before all that

very nervous around most men she doesn’t know & trust

currently working at a barnes & noble starbucks, which sucks. she recently became the assistant manager, which turbo sucks because now she has more work for only like a buck raise, but at least she’s getting reliable shifts

her go-to therapy is cutting her hair with scissors. her hair is fried to all hell from regular bleaching

she’s learning how to crochet because she’s decided she needs to do something physically productively creative with her hands to distract herself from Stuff

bombalurina:

bisexual. 24 years old

got her bachelor’s in english two years ago and hasn’t found a job in her field and has kind of given up on it for now

she’s been bartending for like four years, does freelance editing work on the side. will occasionally write listicles for clickbait sites if she needs extra cash

literally any extra money she can save goes to tattoos. her right sleeve’s almost done

has natural red hair but dyes it cherry red

a hedonist to cope but is also just a natural hedonist. likes a good bath

i know that like the typical thing fandoms say about female characters is “doesn’t take shit” for the girlboss points but she truly does not take shit anymore. she used to take people’s shit sometimes but at this point in her life she’s tired and she has a girlfriend to be protective of. she has a couple people whose shit she will take (mostly just tugger) but besides them (and having to practice basic customer service to keep her job) she’s tired of other people’s shit! enough!

my personal take on bombalurina is a mix between the riot grrrls of the 90s and 80s punk girls, and then a dash of the greaser chicks from grease. i saw that spiked collar and my brain went OH okay i can run with this somewhere fun. same for demeter, but less so - she just has the piercings.

demelurina:

bombalurina met demeter in college at a women’s activism club, noticed her because of her dimple piercings and was like “oh someone else with a lot of metal in her face, i’ll sit next to her”

they were each other’s first off-campus roommates and were close friends. made out a couple times, but it was mostly a lot of sexual tension. there was a lot of bombalurina staring at demeter while she or demeter made out with someone else

demeter was on and off with her high school boyfriend munkustrap and bombalurina was like “oh he’s so much more stable/calm than me and she needs that, i party a bit too much for her, i shouldn’t try anything” so she just sort of. lets their almost-there peter off

(this is all bombalurina’s internal thoughts - demeter always was interested in her, but thought she was too boring for bombalurina. so neither of them thought they could pursue it)

bombalurina graduated and moved somewhere cheaper further away from campus. they kind of drift apart

munkustrap and demeter peter off and he moves away for a job (they’re still good friends, it was a very amicable breakup) and then demeter gets with macavity, which is a deeply toxic situation for her and sucks hugely and throws her whole life really off track. won’t go into further details

she finally manages to break up with him and calls bombalurina at like 2 am asking if she can pick her up, and also if she can sleep on her couch, it’s okay if that’s not okay, she just. really needs a place she feels safe, and her gut is telling her to. and of course bombalurina says yes

bombalurina also knew macavity and had also made out a couple times with him at like parties and stuff (see: staring at demeter as she makes out with people). something about transference of feelings - bombalurina was into him for a couple moments because he and demeter had a thing.

this is due to me interpreting the song “macavity” as actually about bombalurina wanting to fuck demeter and her singing as a half-repressed expression of that. i use my really good wlw brain to reach that conclusion. it’s kind of a non-competitive version of eve sedgwick’s take on the love triangle. (<-- normal thing to say)

but anyway demeter stays on bombalurina’s couch and she tries so hard to stay on track but eventually she just has to drop out. bombalurina helps her with that too. she’s just really supportive even as demeter’s life is at its lowest point. when she gets home from bartending she gets demeter to go to sleep

she just Stays with her and makes her smile and reminds her that her life isn’t over, there’s still things in her day to enjoy, to keep her trudging forward

bombalurina is roommates with tugger at this point - he also recently dropped out and demeter knows him because he’s munkustrap’s brother, so he’s Trusted and also is like “hey it’s okay that you dropped out, im here and im chilling and you like me and respect me at least a little, and you have a bachelor’s degree at least!” (more on him later)

demeter is like “oh god ive been crashing at their place for so long not paying rent, theyre gonna ask me to leave, im such a freeloader, they wont take my attempts at paying rent” but then bombalurina and tugger are like “hey! the lease is almost up! we found a pretty good 3 bedroom, do you wanna have your own room for real?” and she nearly cries because 1. the RELIEF 2. oh my god you want me around???

cut to bombalurina helping demeter put together an ikea dresser (tugger got banished to the kitchen to make crystal light lemonade for them because he’s useless with a screwdriver) and demeter has two epiphanies:

1. i thought i was ready to d*e four months ago and here i am making a dresser to put clothes into in my new apartment where i live and feel safe and loved. im still not happy but im still alive and im making a dresser

2. holy fuck im back in love with my best friend, and ten times more than i was back then.

so she like kind of freaks out because she’s already imposed so much on bombalurina, how could she impose her FEELINGS on her like this, oh no oh no oh no

meanwhile bombalurina’s back in love with her even MORE and she’s also like no... she’s already dealing with so much... i don’t want to make her uncomfortable or feel unsafe in her own home especially after her recent relationship trauma... i just want her to feel safe around me...

you might think tugger as their roommate would be like “JUST KISS” but he is in fact pretty oblivious because he is self-absorbed. mistoffelees on the other hand..

eventually they do have a big confession of feelings after demeter has a bad day and it’s very dramatic and they make out in the rain. and it’s like. well this is a movie scene. but also im cold and damp. let’s head inside our home and get warm and dry :)

and then they go inside and and talk through everything, all their feelings (not just their romantic feelings but like ALL their feelings) and their shared histories and bombalurina is like “do you think you’re... ready for a relationship right now? like that would be a good thing for you?”

and demeter considers it. she does stop and think. and then she says, “with anyone else... probably not. but it’s you. and i feel so safe around you, and we’re already so close. you make the future feel more worth it. you make more days alive feel not just tolerable, but something to look forward to. and knowing you’ve loved me all this time... it’s nice. it’s good. i’m - i’m understating it so much, it’s more than nice, it’s just - it’s a lot. i wish i had noticed back then.” “hey, hey, don’t blame yourself. i’m the one who never said anything.”

anyway. everything works out, and they start dating for real :)

tugger:

bisexual. 22 years old

dishwasher at the same bar bombalurina works at. she got him the job. he keeps bugging her to teach him bartending tricks and on slow nights she will agree to

he dropped out of their four year, but he managed to secure an associate’s in communications before he dipped

trying to be an ig influencer hotboy and hopefully get modeling jobs from that but his phone’s camera sucks shit so his account isn’t really going anywhere. but he continues to post his low resolution shirtless selfies

trying to cope with being the failure son who does not have a fancy nonprofit job with a salary and healthcare by being self-absorbed and self-aggrandizing

it works about 60% of the time and 60% of the times that it doesn’t he’s able to hide it

he dropped out right around when bombalurina graduated and he was like HEY! ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A ROOMMATE WHO DOESN’T CARE IF WE LIVE TEN MILES AWAY FROM CAMPUS? WELL HAVE I GOT A SOLUTION FOR YOU: ME!

to which bombalurina (who has fooled around with him here and there and thinks he is funny little man and genuinely goodhearted, and also he has rockin abs as a plus) says munkustrap already asked me if i need a roommate and if i do to consider you, because you don’t want to move back home. in other words: yes, you little idiot

they do fool around with each other but they are both very understanding that it is strictly platonic and for fun, especially once they become roommates. they both do not desire each other for anything serious

he did have a bit of a crush on each other when they met (hot punk older girl who’s friends with his brother) but 1. it dissipated pretty quick after they fooled around for the first time because it was not a very serious crush 2. she was in the middle of being in love with demeter so she was focused on that, emotionally

he got his ears pierced a couple times in high school but bombalurina inspired him to get a couple more. she went with him when he got his nose pierced

demeter has always understood that him and bombalurina are strictly fwb, has never been an issue.

she and him like to bleach their hair together when their hair schedules line up (he bleaches his way less often then she does), but she refuses to use his fancy conditioner that keeps his hair unfried because it’s expensive, even though he tells her to go ahead and use it, please, the health of her hair is giving HIM anxiety, demeter please. please demeter

mistoffelees:

gay. 20 years old

has magic. it’s pretty good magic but again: magic is not a big deal in this concept

a bit spooky. skulks around. a bit of a bitch but also very very nice. chooses when to speak

he has postings on craigslist and fiverr about finding lost objects and people with magic. like a gig economy private detective

side job is a waiter at a fancy restaurant

sometimes he gets paid VERY well from the private detecting, depending on the client. he does ask his psychic friends (tantomile & coricopat) to give a quick glance over on some of the more suspicious clients just to make sure he isn’t finding someone who should not be found by that person.

doesn’t go to college. is roommates with his sister victoria, who’s a freshman and studying dance. moved into town with her so she wouldn’t have to live in the dorms by having a guaranteed roommate.

tuggoffelees:

the general vibe i want for these two is mistoffelees walking around town or driving around in his shitty toyota camry while tugger tags along because he’s bored and thinks this is cool as shit

the general tone of the au is “magic isn’t a big deal” except for tugger, who thinks mistoffelees’ magic and his magic freelancing is the coolest shit ever. this is mostly because he just likes mistoffelees. “there are people who can do cooler shit than me, tug” “yeah but i don’t KNOW them also theyre not as COOL as you” “you had to explain to me how instagram reels work”

idk how they met i just think tugger shows up at his and bombalurina’s apartment one day (this is when demeter has moved in but they havent moved to the 3br yet) with this dude to dash in and pick something up and bombalurina is like “uh. who’s this” “oh this is mistoffelees he’s SO GOOD AT MAGIC” [mistoffelees nods hello] “okay bye bombalurina see you at work!!!” “uh. later”

after that he just shows up a lot. sort of ambiguous if theyre dating or what for a while before bombalurina straight up asks like “hey does the dude you’re dating know we fool around” “the dude im - what?” “... the little magic guy who keeps using our hot cocoa mix. misty.” “oh. uh. we aren’t dating.” “... do you want to? because you’re kind of all over him constantly” “um. well! haha, if i wanted to, i could! haha!” “yeah get back to me on that”

tugger trying to use his ig clout to get mistoffelees more work even though 1. he has no clout 2. mistoffelees has a very stable client base. but mistoffelees appreciates the effort. the self-promo guy promoing someone other than himself... the highest expression of love...

mistoffelees is A Nonthreatening Man plus he’s pretty obviously gay so demeter is chill around him pretty quickly. when mistoffelees is over they’ll sit on the couch where demeter sleeps and watch documentaries quietly while she crochets

they both occasionally say spooky shit at the same time because magic stuff. bombalurina and tugger are both torn between “that was cool as fuck” and “god that’s unnerving”

just a lot of tugger following mistoffelees around on his jobs and mistoffelees letting him because he’s fond of him and them occasionally getting into minor peril and interesting shenanigans, but it is 90% fetch quests

i think the first time they met tugger was taking selfies in front of a hydrangea in a public park and he saw mistoffelees walk up with a shovel and start digging in one of the flower beds and he thought he was hot so he went over and offered to take over on the shoveling to look strong and masculine and he ended up digging up a skull, which mistoffelees picked up and said “thanks” and then walked away

mildly terrifying but also very interesting and tugger’s days are kind of boring and dishwashing kind of sucks as a job to do like every night and he is a person who thrives on novelty so. moth to a porchlight

i think they do start making out for fun here and there and then a while later theyre out on one of mistoffelees’ jobs and someone asks “who’s the guy with you” and mistoffelees replies “oh that’s my boyfriend, don’t worry about him” and then it’s like. “HUH? I’M YOUR BOYFRIEND?” “uh. yeah? i assumed. is that okay?” “i mean yeah of course i think you’re great! how long have we–” “oh like a while.” “oh. uh. cool!!”

they just hang out a lot. mistoffelees enjoys teasing him and enjoys his warmth and bombasticity and tugger likes watching and helping him solve little mysteries around the county because it’s always something new. they’re kind of a comedy duo. they just enjoy spending their time together and following mistoffelee’s internal magic gps to find lost dogs and lost necklaces

yeah right now this au is just vibes and just sort of. continuing forward with your days and your weeks and your months. just young adults hanging out

[heavcnslyre]

ricky bowen x reader second series!! part nine

— (continuation) starstruck au!

first series | series masterlist, part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine, part ten

IN WHICH ricky discovers his mom has a new boyfriend and isn’t happy.

WARNINGS swearing

NOTES I AM SO SO SORRY it’s been so long since i’ve updated and this kind of ends in a weird spot but i’ve been so busy IM SO SO SORRY there is one more part left after this and this storyline will officially be over but keep an eye out for more ricky x readers in the future :)

text dividers from @writeyourmindaway !!

( tags: @hesvoid34 @omgdani17 )

lowercase intended.

you woke up the next morning and rolled over to find an empty bed. you opened your eyes and looked around the room curiously. ricky was never awake before you.

you sat up and stretched. as you slung your legs over the side of the bed, you heard raised voices from downstairs somewhere. you recognized ricky’s voice, but not the other.

“mom, i don’t know what you want from me,” ricky said, his voice breaking. his tone was almost begging.

“ricky,” ricky’s mom took a deep breath. “i just need you to listen to me.”

“oh, i’m listening. trust me, i’m listening. you show up to my house at seven in the morning to get your stuff and just casually tell me you have a new boyfriend? are you kidding?”

“i thought you would be happy for me.”

“you and dad divorced less than a month ago! you haven’t contacted me in weeks! how am i supposed to be happy?”

“i’ve done so much for you!” she yelled. “i gave up my life to make sure you could achieve your dreams!”

“yeah, some parent you were in the process!” he yelled back. “you put my career over everything! just because i acted ‘mature for my age’ doesn’t mean i didn’t need my mom!”

“you turned out fine now!”

“mom! parenting doesn’t just stop the second i turn 18!”

there was a pause. you were sitting on the edge of the bed, frozen in place. you weren’t sure what to do. you hated listening and not doing anything, but it wasn’t your place to say anything.

“you act like this is all my fault,” ricky’s mom said. “you act like you weren’t the one who was so closed off constantly. or you weren’t the one who randomly decided to give up on this huge tv show deal just because of a girl. speaking of, you have a new girlfriend you love so much? why have i never met her?”

“do not bring her into this,” ricky said harshly. “she is the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. and maybe, if you had cared enough to call, you would have met her.”

“you know what? i didn’t come here to be attacked. i’m leaving. mail me the rest of whatever i have here.”

“right, because you can’t stand to ever see me again,” ricky said. “love you too, mom!”

the front door slammed and the house was silent for a moment. you heard ricky swear and you slid off of the bed. you walked downstairs carefully and saw ricky sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. he sniffed and you frowned, approaching him slowly. 

“ricky?” you asked gently as you neared him. he lifted his head to look at you and his eyes were red and puffy. your heart ached at the sight and you sat on the floor in front of him, studying his face. 

“i didn’t mean to wake you,” ricky said softly. “i’m sorry.”

you shook your head and placed a hand on his cheek gently. he closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. “you didn’t, don’t worry. are you okay?”

he shook his head. “i’m such an asshole. i can’t believe i said that shit to her.”

“you can’t blame yourself for having feelings,” you said. “you’re hurt, and you have every right to be.”

“yeah. i don’t know,” he said. “she wasn’t a bad mom. she wasn’t great. but she wasn’t as bad as i made her out to be.”

“you said stuff in the heat of the moment.” you said. “that’s okay. when you both calm down, you can talk to her again. apologize, maybe.”

ricky didn’t reply. he sighed and looked past you, lost in thought. you shifted and rested your hands on his knees, keeping your eyes on his. “this is not your fault. your mom got a new boyfriend, you said?”

“mhm,” he said. “i have a feeling it’s been going longer than she said. i just... don’t understand how she expects me to be so okay with that. she wants me to meet him, as if i’m just going to take him in as a second dad.”

“it’s a big adjustment that i’m sure she’s not sure how to get through, either. and while she can’t expect you to be okay with this, i guess you can’t really expect her to know how to adjust to your new dynamic, if that makes sense. i mean, she’s worked closely as your manager alongside your dad for a long time. this, being away from you and divorcing your dad? that can’t be easy to get used to.”

“yeah. you’re right,” he said. “sometimes i just wish that i had a normal childhood. with normal parents.”

“i know,” you said. “i know, and i’m sorry. it’s not easy, and it never will be. but you can use this as a chance to build a new, different relationship with your parents. you can never get your childhood years back, but you still have plenty of time to have a good relationship.”

ricky gave you a faint smile and brushed his thumb across your cheek. “thank you.” he said genuinely. you smiled and slipped onto the couch next to him. you wrapped your arms around his neck and placed a hand in his hair on the back of his head. he relaxed in your arms and placed his arms around your waist, holding you tightly. you stayed in that position for a while, playing with his hair. eventually, you pulled back slightly and planted a kiss on his cheek, studying his face. while he was obviously still upset, you hoped you had at least helped the situation to an extent. 

“are you okay?” you asked. ricky nodded.

“i will be. i think i’m gonna go get some more sleep, if that’s okay,” he said.

“that’s a good idea,” you said. “try not to stress yourself out too much, okay?”

he nodded and leaned in to kiss you quickly, before disappearing up the stairs. you sighed and laid back on the couch. before you knew it, you fell back asleep.

“hey,” you heard ricky’s voice from behind you. you were standing at the fridge and felt his arms wrap around your waist. you smiled as ricky kissed the side of your head and you turned around to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck to face him.

“hi love. how are you feeling?” he still looked tired, but seemed calmer.

“i’m okay,” he said. “we should do something today. just the two of us.”

you hummed. “oh yeah? what were you thinking?”

“just a bunch of things. just like when you were here for christmas. we could grab lunch, check out some shops, maybe stop by the beach.”

“as long as we don’t sink a car, i’m in. a day with you sounds great.” he kissed your cheek and released his arms from around you.

“okay. i’m gonna go change. we can leave in like twenty minutes?”

“perfect.”

twenty minutes later, you sat in the passengers seat of ricky’s car, the music loud and his hand on your leg. you were headed to a cute diner a few minutes away from ricky’s house, one that you had passed by a few times and wanted to try.

when you got to the diner you sat across from each other at a small table by a window. you both ordered breakfast foods (they served them all day and sounded really good) and chatted as you waited. after a moment of silence, he spoke up. “so have you thought about the logistics of you moving here?”

you nodded. “mhm. right after graduation, you’ll be stuck with me. i texted my parents already to let them know, and they seemed okay with it. i was thinking maybe i’d find a job at a bookstore, or something.”

“you don’t have to do that,” he said. “i hate suggesting that i could pay for everything but... i could.”

“i know,” you smiled. “but i don’t want to rely on you for everything. and what about when you’re busy all day, you know? it’d be nice for me to have something to do.”

“yeah, of course,” he said. “i could also find a job for you on my team. especially for next time i go on tour, so you could come with.”

“that sounds great. going on tour with you would be really cool.”

ricky grinned. “yeah it would be. it’s in the plans for the near future, too. worldwide tour. you could finally visit all the places you’ve wanted to.”

you grabbed his hand from across the table. “i can’t wait.”

[honeyjaez]

Trigger warning: Suicide and deteriorated Mental health

I want to preface this post by saying at this current moment I am not in a good headspace, the last 6 months, my life has been divided by good and bad days and today is one of those days.

Some of you who know me somewhat or have followed me for a while might have noticed my extended hiatus from this app. I graduated college with the promise of bringing so much back to my page but was undelivered.

About 6 months ago, at the end of November, was diagnosed with an auto immune disease that had left me in incredible pain. At the beginning before I got medicine for it, the pain was so excruciating that I could hardly breathe. I was unable to leave my bed when the pain was at its worse and it was just non stop, day after day. Just living was painful.

I finally got on some form of medicine I take everyday for it at the beginning of the year and I thought life was going to start turning around. I took emergency leave of absence from work to allow time for the medicine to start working in my body. And for a while…it worked. I was still in pain, but the pain was diluted and instead of being agonizing, it was more of an annoyance. I thought I could live with this even if it was everyday.

But now that I’ve been on my medicine for a few months, I’m starting to feel worse again. Almost like the medicine I was so thankful for, suddenly stopped working. The pain is getting worse and worse and all I can do is lay back in bed and just try and think positive thoughts.

But it’s almost like a game of endurance. Whatever side can endure longer wins. And I’m terrified I’m on the losing spectrum. It’s not just physically now beating me, but mentally too. More times than I would like to admit, have I thought im better off just dead and trying over in the next life- especially in those early days.

I know I can’t. Honestly, and truthfully I’ve already tried once (long ago) and learned I am unable to follow through with it so that is what it is.

And don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some great days, yesterday we got stray kids tickets which I was super happy for. And I’ve had other days where the pain is bearable and I’m able to live, but in my mid 20s dealing with this, I can’t help but think “if it’s this bad now, what will it be like when I’m 30? Or 40?” My doctor has already warned me I’m not gonna have an easy life with this and I’m honestly so scared. Scared of living the rest of my life with this pain that’s non stop. Scared I’ll eventually lose the battle….I’m just so tired of being in pain.

Funny enough, I had a great day too. I went and saw the Seventeen Power of Love movie with my best friend, which I loved. But now that I’m home, I can barely move from the pain and I’m just laying in bed trying not to think about it, but In trying to get my mind off of it, I keep thinking about it.

My mom has already told me I should start seeing a therapist for this, and I agree, but until I can get in I haven’t really had a healthy way to talk about my feelings, even now I’m realizing I’ve never even allowed myself to hug someone and just let myself cry. I’ve cried to my mother yes, but it’s always been on the phone.

And then I wrestle with the gaslighting on myself where I think “Sarah, stop talking about it, it’s not like you are dying, you don’t have cancer, your life isn’t as bad as others so stop making such a big deal out of it” I find myself scared to talk about it when I’m with my friends because I feel like that’s all I’ve done to them the last few months.

I guess my only saving Grace during this is the idea that everyday is a new day for me.

I honestly don’t know anymore. And truthfully I’m not sure why I posted this on here. I guess this was my way of journaling my thoughts like my mother told me to try.

But if anyone out there is also struggling, it may not be my situation exactly, but struggling regardless….you aren’t alone. We all have our battles we are fighting and just knowing there are others out there still hanging on, even if only by a thread like me, makes me feel like I can keep going.

I’m okay, I’m a few hours I feel better after this meltdown, it’s just right now I needed to say the words I said. Thank you and I’m sorry if I triggered anyone.

❤️❤️❤️❤️