#but like idk groot isn’t exactly the brightest

[ohfugecannada]

Fanfic/fancomic idea I just thought of while watching SpongeBob clips:

Semi-early on in Rocket and Groot knowing each-other/working together, Groot sees Rocket’s cybernetics for the first time. Maybe it’s a similar moment to when Quill first saw them in the prison scene in Vol.1, maybe it was during a particularly intense battle with a bounty and Rocket gets the back of his shirt torn up exposing his back but just yells at Groot to focus on beating the other guy etc.

Whatever the case, Groot sees Rocket’s cybernetics and, not yet fully understanding the concept of cyborgs or anything, tries asking Rocket about them later. But Rocket just keeps either trying to deflect and change the subject or just tells Groot to shut it and quit bugging him about it.

So Groot, having no context or idea of Rockets trauma and everything, starts thinking and filling in the blanks in his own way. And after putting together:

The metal things on rockets body

His habit of stealing peoples robotic prosthetics, batteries and other electronics

The fact Rocket hates taking baths and (seemingly) most liquids apart from alcohol

The fact Rocket never laughs at Groots jokes

And the fact he never shows any genuine emotion other than rage or cockiness

Groot comes to the Galaxy shattering realisation that Rocket is, in fact… A ROBOT.

Aside from the intital internal screaming he has about everything making so much more sense now, Groot does find it strange how mammalian Rocket looks. But then Groot figures, since they have previously caught robot bounties who tried (and failed) to pass themselves as organics by wearing artificial skin, Rocket’s probably doing the same thing.

And oh no, maybe that’s why he was so defensive before about those metal parts of him showing?? Maybe he’s been discriminated against for being a robot and is trying to pass himself off as an organic animal to protect himself? And/or he has a deep seeded internalised robot phobia???? And Groot trying to push him about it made it worse?!??!??

So Groot, after realising the “truth”, tries to be more supportive of rocket and him being a robot. He doesn’t directly confront Rocket or try to press him on it. Since he tried that before and fails and he’s figured out it’s a sensitive subject for rocket. But Groot does his research on robots and tries to figure out what make and model rocket is (with very few results) so he can better look after him incase he malfunctions or something, he makes sure to “borrow” extra batteries and oil canisters when ever they’re at a place with electronics because he figures that’s what he really uses for sustenance instead of all the burgers and junk food he eats in front of Groot for (what he thinks is) the sake of appearance, tries to stop him from getting wet whenever it rains or they visit a mostly water-covered planet, calls Rocket out if/whenever he makes crude comments about other robots because (internally) Groot draws the line at Rocket taking his own issues about being a robot out on his fellow robots etc etc. All because Groot doesn’t care what Rocket is and just wants his best friend to be happy and feel safe and accepted as he is. As well as for him to trust Groot enough to come out in his own time when he feels ready.

Meanwhile Rocket is just. Completely baffled by Groot acting so weird around him all the sudden and doing all this. And no idea Groot thinks he’s a robot because of his cybernetics. Eventually culminating when things escalate out of hand and Groot cutting to the chase, gently telling rocket he knows he’s a robot and that he doesn’t have to be afraid of hiding it anymore because Groot still cares about him no matter what.

…And rocket, slightly less gently, telling Groot that goD FLARKIN DAMNIT GROOT!!! IM NOT A GODDAMN ROBOT YOU STUPID MOLDY OVERGROWN PEICE OF CRAP TWIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Basically, it’s the Krab Borg episode of SpongeBob if SpongeBob tried being a supportive robot ally to Mr.Krabs instead of jumping him in his office with Squidward.