#but like i failed a math class three times which is the limit i csn take it at my school and idk what now
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life is so scari
#me: ztop complaining on tumblr#also me: has no where or anyone to talk to abt my problems#kinda ? ugh#negative /#negativity /#school.... Intense School is starting soon#and i dont have a lot figured out esp to maje up for my failed classes#i mean kinda ?#but like i failed a math class three times which is the limit i csn take it at my school and idk what now#like i need to talk to a counselor person about thst bc i do need it but fuck what if i cant take it like thst cant happen right bc i do#need it. I just hope they dont make me take is somewhere far away bc i cant esp bc i cant drive#THATS a whole other issue. and like.#i feel like my classes are gonna be hard god chemistry. english... 10 page research essay... god thid id my last chance for that class too#ive done so bad in college its embarrassing and. so bad and it sucks bc a lot of it has to do w fear and no motivation which is a BAD combi#and like i have to work bc my mom isn't ans my dad isnt really supporting us kind of so my brother has to and hes taking a 2nd job... and so#hes going to be to school full time possibly even worse bc hes trying to finish school#and it sucks bc people keep asking him when hes going to finish and its like stop it who wants to keep getting asked that#and im scared for him and i feel so bad for him bc god hes going to be so stressed and overworked snd i cant not sit back and do nothing#but I'm scared because what if work makes school harder for me i csnt keep failing like this#and it makes me upset that our dad kind of financiallt abandoned us even though he very much can support us#and its so frustrating to see him spend money on things he doesnt need and ocassional (?) gambling and i know its his money and he can do#whatever he wants but i wish he cared about us enough like we're struggling and i hate that its all on my brother#and i hate that I'm so scared and thst im the one thing stopping myself from so many things that are obtainable but im just scared#like i messed up transferring to a university i was supposed to this yesr but i kept failing bc i was always scared and now most of my#friends are transferring. i tild myself i would be sble to do it all in time and live with my friends but thats gone now and its bc of me#and ive been having conflicting thoughts about my mom like shes been so bad to us but there's thst conflicting thought of how you dont have#to like your parent(s) if theyve mistreated you but idk it just feels bad and idk#and ive been a little stressed about friends too like i want to see them but im too scsred to reach out to some of them bc what if they dont#want to see me or dont like me the same amount anymore. but i dont want to not reach out bc im losing the time left. i dknt know#and sometimes i dont feel like hanging out i feel voidy but i dont know i dont want to regret but im tired
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