#but jimmy pulling her out of her shell by being silly with her

[thekimspoblog]

Love everything about this quote. But if you know me you know which part jumped out at me.

Sadly, what makes Kim so relatable character is how she underestimates herself. I hope we do get a continuation where she is more readily prepared to take up space.

“She’s not a performer like Jimmy is… I don’t think she’s ever doing a bit. Performance is always a balance when you’re playing a lawyer but you yourself are an actor, because lawyers are performers themselves in a courtroom, but not necessarily in the same way that an actor understands the theatrics of a scene. And so where do you find that balance? With that scene imitating Rex Lynn I went to [director Jim McKay] and said, you know, honestly, I feel like she probably isn’t very good at it, impressions, and I think she likes that that’s Jimmy, that’s not her. He’s the performer.

“And once we did it, it added this element that I thought really worked well storytelling-wise. There’s a vulnerability and a sweetness to her showing her belly. If you’ve ever been around somebody that’s a gifted storyteller or extremely funny, and you thought you had something funny to say, it’s daunting to try to perform in front of a gifted performer. To try to be the funny one. And so I think for her, it was showing her soft belly a little bit. Like, ‘okay, okay, I’ll try but I know it’s gonna be stupid’ and then he laughs and plays along with it and she feels valued in a totally different way for her, I think.” - Rhea Seehorn

[feeneeweenee]

Gene Takavic: His Purpose

If it isn't obvious: SPOILERS I haven't seen a lot of people talk about their theories about what Gene truly represents- so, I figured I'd do it.

Gene's journey throughout the show is extremely easy to overlook, especially in sight of his relapse into con-artistry. It can almost come across as silly side missions- or even out of place- to the naked eye.

A Fresh Run-Away

In black and white, we see him have a mundane life for a few months, working as a Cinnabon manager at the Omaha mall; Day in and day out, a lack of vibrant expression, no friends- nor partner- all while fearing to be found out. In short: Anxiety ridden and yet- bored. Every day looking like the last, blending within one another, just to come home everyday to a drink and some television, where his ads no longer run. Until he pulls out his tapes. Its important to note here that he is giving into this colorless life not in the name of redemption, but rather because of the risk to be confronted by authorities. If he had no risk of his ability- or freedom- of committing crimes being taken away, he would not put any effort into remaining straight and proper in the first place. The only reason he relapses into the chaotic life style of which he craves is because of points I mention later into this post. But to keep it simple here, he gains an illusion of control that gives him the confidence to pursue his colorful lifestyle. We can only assume that he keeps this shell-of-a-life behavior up for a few months before giving into the world of crime again, since he only lives as Gene for about eight, before inevitably getting caught.

Craving Color

It's not long enough 'til we see our hopes and dreams for Jimmy crushed in front of our eyes. As we were all watching his Gene life unfold, I think it's safe to say we all wanted to see him reflect and learn from his prior life's mistakes within his new, isolated world. Or, at least, we unanimously wanted an increasingly self-aware Jimmy being revealed to us from this point on. However, things take a turn once Jimmy's real identity gets exposed by a particular character: Jeff. From here until the end of Gene's run, He is seen plotting heists, and later on, much more sinister scams with Jeff and Buddy. Shortly before this, we watch a scene where Gene confronts Jeff at his house by his shed right after befriending his mother, Marion, talking about "The Game" and how he has "a way into The Game", which he knows Jeff wants in on. To me, I immediately saw this as an attempt to regain power. Not only was he holding threat over Jeff's head by now knowing Marion and her son's criminal past, but also painting himself to be the con-artist mastermind he has been prior to this, but is later shown to not hold that rank as effortlessly anymore. Rather, this is his desperate attempt at regaining the control and presence he once felt as Slippin' Jimmy and Saul Goodman within the limits he very much deserved. He was once respected effortlessly by the people who saw him and agreed with his truth- whether or not it was morally sound. Back then, he didn't have to hold power over people's heads. Since his real identity now is under threat, he had to go to further lengths, threatening and demanding a random person to abide by his rules and desires in order live through them for his selfish desires, which he never had to do in his prior lives.

He established a system for the intention of power and control as I stated above- which felt very forced the way I saw it- as well as having no close and trusted individual to do his conning with light-heartedly, like he did with Marco and Kim.

Through Gene's limitations, we watch him play the impossible game of attempting to revive the past in a much darker way while also being in denial of any accountability, as well as denial of being in a sticky situation.

Purpose of arrogance...?

Through the adventure of Gene living a mellow life, to him grasping at an opportunity for an air of which he misses so desperately, it's safe to say: We heavily witnessed him going through the first 3 stages of grief- Shock, Denial and Anger- which I think is critical to go over in order to fully understand the weight and message behind his relapse into a dark lifestyle.

Here is where I think we can find most of each stage:

Shock: His early life into Gene, living as boring as possible. Laying low, feeling detached, as if to merely be a shell of a human for months. Denial: The meat of the story behind Gene's actions- a grasp for opportunity through Jeff, the attempt to dive back into the life of a con-artist only much colder and sinister this time, not in true Saul Goodman or Slippin' Jimmy nature. Desperately trying to live up to his prior names despite everything still remaining in black and white, showing it's not as fulfilling as the life he once lived. Anger: We see this mostly during the call with Kim, and right after she hangs up. Kim carried the truth with her and made it clear to Gene, which he felt triggered by, since he wanted to stay comfortable in his bubble of arrogance. We also see this on and off during his attempt to live within his old life again, taking it out in little ways onto Jeff whenever he showed apprehension.

Through Gene's tougher relapse into criminal ways despite everything he's caused, and showcasing the first three stages of grief as this persona, I believe it was made to convey to the audience how difficult it would have been for him to acknowledge the truth, to stop chasing a high- to finally make peace with the negative impact he had on the lives he's touched- Without external forces. The biggest one of course, being Kim. Gene's deeper plunge into crime shows the audience that he wouldn't have made any effort into becoming a better person on his own accord, which sends the message: He would have been changed beyond repair otherwise. It shows that Jimmy's character revolves sensitively around love and acceptance.

I really loved analyzing Gene's character, and why he gave into the criminal life once more. When I was introduced to Gene, I felt very confused as to why he was acting the way he was, or why he was even shown for Saul's (as I knew him at the time being a new viewer and all) character development. It further confused me when he was exhibiting opposite to what I hoped for in terms of Jimmy's well-being and evolution. It's so jarring seeing how dark Jimmy was willing to go as Gene- drugging multiple people, and almost killing a man that reminded him of Walter White- which made Gene feel justified in his actions towards him.

It's amazing how each of Jimmy's personas have a deep purpose, being important on their own and in the bigger picture later on into his redemption arc.

If you're curious where I'd place the other 4 stages of grief for Jimmy- since I'm basing this off of the 7 stages of grief:

Bargaining: When he's, well, trying to bargain the least years in prison.

Depression: Once he learns Kim confessed to everything, and continues shortly in court when he monitors her expression during his trial, choosing to confess to everything.

Testing: Once he gets into his prison life, one we see much less of.

Acceptance: When he's finally able to have a connection with Kim again, and onward.

Of course, it's definitely not as cut and dry as I'm painting it to be. They 100% blend into each other and I'm sure in prison he will keep going between all stages of grief many times over as any complex human would.

Let me know your thoughts, and if there's any typos no there isn't <3 ~Fini

[spideyspeaches]

Heart made of glass ↬ t.h

A/N: Beta read by the lovely @hollandcrush​ !! <3<3

Request (Summary): can you please write one about Tom, who is on the filming process of cherry and has some emotional problems because he feels that his character is already part of his life, so he comes home very angry and in a bad mood, so he just snaps and creates a big fight with the reader and just says things that he obviously didn't meant, you know very angst, and at the end just very fluff.

Hope you like this anon! Lemme know your thoughts heh <3<3

Warnings: breakdowns, slight vomiting but it’s not graphic. I’m not in any way romanticizing or sexualising breakdowns. 

WC: 2k+ 

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Masterlist || Taglist

Tom was an ambitious guy. He took his roles seriously, no matter what his character was and who he played. It was an admirable trait, the way he both enjoyed his work and worked hard to earn a high place in such a place as Hollywood. 

You always took pride in how amazing and accomplished your boyfriend was, your heart swelling whenever you heard his name being mentioned in events and interviews. You enjoyed how he tried to diversify the movies he worked in. 

("I've been playing the friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man for so long, it's about time I play someone different now." He once said in a Jimmy Kimmel interview. You were watching from the audience, smiling as the audience roared in affirmation. 

"Well looks like you took quite a big leap from playing a superhero." Jimmy said, smiling at the audience with his paparazzi smile. 

You knew the question was scripted, quite harmless, but you still noticed how his shoulder stiffened, his smile not wavering once. 

"Well yeah, I used to be a superhero and now I'm a heroin addict." He joked, winking at the audience as he ran a hand through his nearly hairless head.

He cried himself to sleep that night, burying his face in your chest as you shushed him. )

It always worked in his favour, with the incredible support his family and fan base provided. And he was always so humble about it. 

Filming Cherry, however, was way different than he thought it would. With filming Cherry came consequences that he didn't necessarily like. He knew what he was bringing on himself and his family when he was first introduced with the script.

(Contrary to popular belief, he didn't actually give out spoilers, it was just small promotional stunts that kind of took over as his reputation to spoil minor details.)  

The process was intense, getting into the mindset of "Cherry" was taxing, and people were beginning to notice it in him. He was more restless, tugging at his non existent curls when he thought no one would notice. 

He was more clingy, more appreciative of your body and you, letting you know that there was no sexual intent behind his acts of caressing your waist at random times. You didn't notice the change in his behaviour. 

He had always been like this, watching you with the most gratifying gaze a man could muster, his pretty brown eyes like globes of whiskey, staring at you with a muffled expression. You didn't notice. 

There had always been a cutting edge to his voice, you knew and adored it. Behind the British actor who played Spider-Man, he was your Tom. Your Tom who gave you forehead kisses and baked cakes with you and made silly playlists that reminded him of you and you of him, your Tom who worshiped the ground you walked on, your Tom, your Tom and your Tom.

(Sometimes you envied that he was an actor, so good at hiding any emotions he felt, it came easy to him, just another fake emotion like he was a face behind the camera.)

He was never aggressive towards you. Never. Even on tough days, he was soft, caring and understanding to the point where it made you mad, immediately making you feel guilty. He worked so hard and yet here you were, blaming him for being nice, never standing up for himself.

"Uh, Tom, Tom stop, wait." You grunted, pushing his shoulders as he scrambled away from you at your discontent. 

You held his face, his breath hitching, hyperventilating as he tried to get himself together. 

Ever since he had started filming Cherry, he had been away from you. And now that you were finally here, he had been all over you, making love to every inch of your skin, like it was a holy grail he had to find, caressing your warm skin under his fingers making you shiver as his nimble fingers wandered. It was the intimacy, sexual and quasi-sexual, that made you realise, that there was something wrong.

Sex- it had been a constant in your life other than Tom. But of course, you didn't live on it. It was but a fuel that strengthened your relationship, it was about discovery and showing your vulnerable sides. It was a reminder of the coffee dates and baseball matches. It was loving, gentle and raw, like a gentle breeze caressing your face.

But this, this was different. And you noticed. This, what you had been doing, it was fucking. It was aggressive and needy and it felt good, but at the same time, it felt different.

"Baby?" You asked softly, trying to meet his eyes in the dark lit trailer. It was late, way past filming times, the only time you got to see his vulnerable side. 

You should have been in his hotel room, but you were in his trailer instead. All alone in the all encompassing darkness, it made your heart stutter beats. 

"Baby speak to me. What's happening, who's doing this to you?" You ask once again, holding onto him firmly this time, his squirming frame making you loosen your hold. You didn't care that you were naked, he had already seen it all. 

Fiddling with the rough sheets, he huffed a heavy breath. And that was all it took for the dam to break. 

"Tell me how do you feel baby, you're starting to scare me." You urged. All you got in response was his muffled sobs. Pulling him forward, you let his head rest on your bare chest, rivulets of tears sliding down your warm skin, almost burning you like acid, his tiny hair tickling you, a very contrasting feeling. 

"I can't do it. I can't take it anymore." He sniffed, wrapping his strong arms around you, shivering at the contact. It was a cold night in Cleveland, and you were naked and he was crying. You were berating yourself for not noticing. 

"What can't you take anymore?" You hold him, tracing circles on his buzz cut hair, just the way you did when he had his curls. 

"I feel like I'm becoming him. I don't like it at all, I try and try but I can't." He sobs, shoulders hitching with each sob. You felt your heart break, the sounds of his cries sending daggers into your skin. 

How could you have not noticed? The lively sunshine of a man was almost an empty shell. The interviews with former drug addicts had been excruciating for you, pity, disgust, sympathy and every other sinful emotion swirling in your mind. 

You couldn't believe that you hadn't thought about Tom, of what an effect it would have on him. 

"Bub, listen to me, carefully," you said, shushing him as he continued to look at you, teary eyed and red nosed, snot dripping out of his nose,"you listen to me. You're strong and resilient and nothing like him okay? He's not you. You're Tom Holland. You're brilliant and brave and amazing okay?" 

"But I don't feel that way!" He said, his aggressive stance surprising you, "he's- he's…" 

"He's what?" You asked, a little too impatient. Muttering a sorry, you rub your palm on his cheek, kissing the soft, moist skin.

"I don't feel so good." He croaked, getting up suddenly, making a run for the washroom. You rushed after him, watching him as he heaved into the toilet. Rubbing his back, you muttered affirmations, curling besides him as he sat on the ground, his back to the cold wall. 

You got up to switch on the lights, feeling his hands tugging yours, a soft "stay" coming out of him. 

"Better?" You asked, feeling him now against your collarbone. 

"I shouldn't be this affected, this- this isn't fair. I'm overreacting, I'm sorry I worried you baby I swear I didn't mean to-" 

"Shh, Tom first of all, you're not overreacting okay?" You smiled, kissing his nose, moving towards his brows and his forehead, "It's perfectly reasonable. The role you're playing...It's not exactly picking daisies. Fuck you're playing a heroin addict Tommy, a broken soldier with PTSD, a breakdown was inevitable. It only shows that you're human." 

"Really?" He smiled, it looked more like a grimace, a plea for reassurance. 

"Yes, really." You said, booping his nose, eliciting a giggle from him,"now, you better go to bed mister, you have an early shoot don't you?" You playfully scolded, kissing his lips, laughing as he carried you bridal style. 

"Tomorrow will be better." You whispered, kissing his eyelids, already closed, chest moving rhythmically as you counted his pulse, making sure he was completely asleep before slipping on your clothes, covering him with the thin quilt. 

***

"Is everything okay on set?" You asked casually, watching the crewmates work tirelessly in the daylight. 

You were standing next to Ciara on a prop jeep, fiddling with the water bottle held in your hand. 

"Hmm, as okay it can be with two people playing drug addicts." She shrugged, looking at you with a small smile. 

"Are you okay?" You asked, turning to give her your full attention, remembering your boyfriend's breakdown yesterday. 

"It gets… intense at times. Some scenes are hard to play, but we're okay. Mostly." She answered, taking your water bottle and chugging the water. 

"I'm not a therapist, but you can talk to me, you know?" You smiled, holding her shoulder as she gave you a bashful smile. 

"It's been tough on Tom. He's more aggressive, nearly had a breakdown during a scene." She said. 

"Yeah, that.. that happened yesterday too." 

"It was time, a person can only hold so much right?" 

"Yeah." 

You pondered her words, wondering if you could do anything to curb this. 

"I think I need help." He said one day while you were eating dinner. Harry, who was sitting next to you, looked up from his plate, giving you a knowing look before clearing his throat. 

"I'm gonna get some water." He said, waving awkwardly at you and getting up. You took that as a cue to scoot closer to Tom, running your hands through his camel hair. 

"That's very brave of you hun, asking for help." You smiled, kissing his cheek softly. You felt him smile, sliding closer to you, holding you by your waist. 

"I learnt from the best." He muttered in your hair, kissing your forehead. 

You felt his love that day, felt the way he ran his smooth fingers on your waistline, sliding across your thighs with care and softness you hadn't felt in a while. He was healing. It was a process, it took time but it happened.

***

You were walking across the library, his hand in yours, your hearts beating in silence. 

"How was your appointment?" You asked, shivering in the cold air. You rubbed your palms together, bringing your jacket closer to your chest, huffing the cold air. 

"It was good, much different from what the media portrays. She even showed me this meme she thinks you would like, look." He said, bringing out his phone to show you the saved meme. 

You laughed at his eagerness, kissing his lips as a final gratification. 

"Well it looks like you're having a great time. You have another scene left to do today in the evening so we better scram." You reminded him. 

You always did that, remind him of his schedule, reminded him to take a breath when he felt like he was drowning. You reminded him of home and what he had to look forward to.

"Why can't we have a lazy day today?" He whined, kissing your neck, making you giggle as it tickled. 

"You know you can't do that hun, you already took three days off." You snickered, poking his sides. 

"Well that sucks. I just want to spend my day with my girl, is that too much to ask?" He smiled, kissing your forehead, one hand holding yours, swinging back and forth, the other holding a large cup of coffee in a tight grip. 

You reached to loosen his fingers, taking a sip, slurping loudly, making him laugh. You decided you liked this laugh much better, it was breathy and free, a melody to your ears. 

You noticed how he was more relaxed and back to being that ray of sunshine. Back to being your Tom.

Thanks for reading! also as a side note- here’s a similar fic @itsallyscorner​ !!

[tiedyemillenialbullshit]

Nightmare

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Avenger Reader Word Count: 3,431 Summary: Your best friend finally comes to visit the compound after you join the Avengers. What starts out as a fun night out, quickly turns dire for you and Bucky. Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Feelings, Mentions of Alcohol and Drugs, PTSD/Nightmares, swearing

“AHHHH Y/N!!” You hear her before you see your best friend running towards you, not a care in the world that your entire team has also turned around to watch you two galavant towards each other like long lost sisters.

You catch Sarah in your arms and spin her around.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re FINALLY HERE! And you’re early! Holy shit like I can’t believe you’re finally here in New York!! Let me introduce you to the team!” You grab her arm after she starts to show hesitance in meeting the Avengers all at once.

“Are you sure they have time? I don’t want to be a bother,” she says sheepishly.

“Oh my god Sarah, I talk about you all the time! They’re just as excited to meet you, come on.” You both walk towards the team still staring at you both near the entrance to the compound doing a quick debrief of a not-so-successful mission the day before.

“Guys, this is Sarah. Sarah this is-“ she cuts you off. “I know who you guys all are. It’s so nice to meet you! I’ll stay out of the way, I promise.” Everyone grins and introduces themselves to your best friend.

Nat smiles at you both, “On the contrary, you’re coming out with us tonight! No if’s, and’s or but’s”

Sarah seems to suddenly catch a second wind from her long flight and lets out a squeal of excitement.

You’re the newest to the “official” team, even though Steve and Fury had been trying to recruit you for years. You didn’t like the idea of the world knowing about your skill set and preferred to live a quiet life back in California. Ever since moving here, you’ve felt like maybe you weren’t home yet. Everyone was so nice and welcoming, but you missed your little house hidden in the outskirts of the National Parks in California. You missed the sun, the familiar smell of your patch of paradise and the general sense of room back home. Most importantly, you missed Sarah.

You were reluctant to invite her out to New York at first, but now that things seemed to be going smoothly, you sent for her via a car and private jet thanks to one Mr. Tony Stark. He was more than happy to help you out given your fresh and maybe sometimes bumpy arrival to the Avengers.

As everyone filed inside to break away before the evening festivities, Bucky caught your arm.

After holding you back for a second he said, “Hey, I can totally hang back tonight if you’d rather just be with Sarah and the team.”

You realize what he’s getting at. He also has some lack of feeling settled at the compound. It was something you bonded over when you first arrived. You both had similar pasts, even though they were at the same time lightyears apart.

“Buck, no. I think we’re all going out to Bleaker’s tonight! What’s a better way to get to know the team than bowling, beer, smoking inside, beer, old arcade games, more beer and maybe dancing?!”

Bucky gives you a quick glare out the corner of his eye before wrapping his metal arm around your shoulders to lead you inside after everyone.

“Fiiiiiiine, but I can’t promise I’ll behave.” You giggle, but suddenly feel a couple sets of eyes on you.

“And what do we have here?,” Tony asks with a smirk across his mouth. Sarah seems to be in the middle of an engaging conversation with Steve, so you don’t seem to have an easy out of this encounter. Bucky quickly drops his arm and steps a foot away from you.

“Uh, nothing. Y/N just seemed like maybe she wasn’t feeling well.”

“But I’m fine so here we are - have you seen Sam? Nat? Wanda? I told them we should be ready in a few hours and I jus-“

“Oh for Christ’s sake guys, your secret is safe with me,” Tony winks at you knowingly. You decide to take that as the end of the conversation and rush over to join Sarah.

“So! You have muscles.” Sarah says clearly at a loss of words looking at Steve in a tight shirt.

You and Bucky share a giggle, but pull Sarah away and save her from further embarrassment.

“What the fuck did I just say?” Sarah is about as red as a tomato as you drag her upstairs away from the awkward encounter. Steve looked a little flustered as well, which you file away in the back of your brain.

“Who cares! Let’s catch up and get ready for tonight.” Sarah is your best friend for a reason. Even though it had been 6 months since you last saw each other, it was like it was yesterday. You two spend the next few hours catching up, gossiping about each other’s families, friends, ex-boyfriends, etc.

“So! How are we doing in the boi department?” You turn around and face Sarah at the inquisitive tone in her question.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m good, I’m… I’m doing great, I mean yeah I’m good. WHY?” You’re stuttering and you don’t even care it’s obvious you’re blushing.

“Oh, you know. I mean, I’ve only recently met a few super soldiers, but I do think I can tell the there’s a spark between one and someone else.” Sarah so wants you to spill the tea but you promised Bucky you’d keep it quiet.

“Let’s just say things are developing and whatever you’d like to take from that you may.” You both launch into a giggle fit of her guessing and you denying certain aspects of Bucky Barnes.

When Wanda wanders into your room a few hours later, she starts laughing at what she sees. “You know you two are wearing like the same thing, right?” Exchanging confused looks at each other, you reply with a “AND?!”

Sam follows in with a smirk of his own. You’re bracing for his jokes but instead says “damn, OKAY! Everyone’s looking sharp tonight. Y/N, have you seen our bionic man around? Is he coming? He better come out tonight or I swear to…”

After Sam leaves to go find Bucky, the three of you wander down to find Nat and start the evening off with a shot or two. You aren’t much of a drinker, so one is enough for you. You much rather enjoy the company of your friend Mary Jane.

The team is getting silly with each other in the kitchen and quickly the room is filled with people yelling at each other to pregame harder, laughing when Nat’s little sister challenges Sam to a chugging contest and wins.

You feel a large hand at the small of your back. You can smell his cologne and know who it is immediately.

“Well don’t you look dashing tonight Sargent Barnes.” You lean in on impulse but stop yourself just as the girls turn around to see who you’re talking to.

“I was just going to say the same thing to you, sweets.” He mumbles in your ear before removing his hand and walking over to Sam.

The alcohol decides to hit you then, leaving you feeling empty that he’s not standing next to you anymore. Neither of you had wanted to have the “conversation” but you knew you were head over heels for him.

“CABS ARE HERE” screams Sam.

“Sam. For the love of God, stop watching Jersey Shore.” Natasha jokes to him.

At the same time Steve screams, “I understood that reference!” Eye rolls are exchanged as you all make your way outside.

The atmosphere is buzzing and you’re so excited to not just be out with your team, but to also have the only bit of family you had with you as well. You finally felt at home, at peace, and were ready for a fun night out.

Bleaker’s is one of those hole-in-the-wall dive bars that from the outside seems like a hard pass, but once you’re in, there’s no other place you’d rather spend a Saturday night. It’s true it started as a bowling alley in the 60’s. That still remains. What’s newer is the arcade in the back, where the old salon used to be. Jimmy bought the space next door, blew out the wall and filled it with arcade games that sometimes work and sometimes eat your money.

After years of being regular patrons, he knows your team well. The minute you walk in, he starts up all your favorite drinks.

“Ah! My best customers! I had a feeling I’d be seeing Earth’s mightiest heroes tonight.” You line up at the bar for whatever Jimmy decides you’re drinking tonight.

“Ah yes, two vodka on the rocks for my little Russian assassins. Sam here’s your vodka red bull which I don’t think you need, but here we are. Steve! Your drink of choice: an Old Style. Wanda, a cosmo for my favorite witch. And who do we have here, Y/N?”

You’re already both in hysterics at the old man behind the bar giving everybody a hard time. “Jimmy, this is my best friend Sarah. She’s visiting from California for a few days.”

“And whatever the lady wants can be put on my tab…” Steve butts in. Sarah immediately turns red but says “well in that case I’ll have vodka soda with lime please!”

Bucky has come up behind you and now you’re both laughing and watching the two of them stare at each other like no one else is in the room.

“Oh no, what did you do Y/N?”

“Let it play out, he’s not completely tripping over his words yet, maybe he’ll finally land a good girl.” You hush to Bucky.

Jimmy stares as well in amusement. “And you two? Your usual?”

“Yes’sir!” You shout over the growing music. Jimmy hands you each a jack and Diet Coke. You tell yourself it’s okay because it’s diet, but you know that’s a bunch of bullshit.

The other great thing about Bleaker’s? The dance floor downstairs. You always joke around that it seems like a nightclub that never closes in Amsterdam or something, but you’re serious. It could be 3 pm and sunny and you’d never know. It’s in the basement, it's always dark and the music is almost always too loud.

Usually that would gross you all out, but the energy tonight is pushing you all downstairs.

You reach back and grab Bucky’s hand not really caring who sees. It’s been months of sneaking around and either everyone knows and is playing it off like they don't or you’re really good at hiding it. Regardless, you’re over hiding. Maybe showing a little PDA tonight will get him out of his shell.

Sarah and Steve are no where in sight, assuming they’re ahead of you, you follow the team downstairs.

Minutes turn into hours. Everyone is dancing, laughing, sweating, screaming the lyrics to every song, and for a little while you can forget you’re a group of superheroes, and can just be normal 30-something year-olds.

You mostly dance with Bucky and quickly realize he’s a better dancer than you thought he would be. Those moves from the 1940’s must still be relevant in some way today, because the way he's grinding up on you and not caring if anyone sees just does something to you.

You work the room, finding Sarah, Wanda, Nat, even Steve for a song before you realize you don't see Bucky. You give it a few minutes thinking maybe he is in the bathroom. After 15 minutes though, you grab Steve’s attention and motion for him to check the bathroom while you check outside.

You race to the alley where you find Jimmy on a smoke break. “Hey Jimmy, have you seen Bucky? I can’t find him.”

“Oh yeah, doll, he took off in a cab about a half hour ago. Looked real flustered, but I didn’t want to press.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. You thought you felt his mood shift about an hour ago, he was becoming stiff and quiet. You thought maybe he was just drinking a lot but now you’re realizing the loud music, strobe lights and base must have been triggering him.

“Ugh I’m such a bitch,” you huff as you send Steve a S.O.S text.

You: Hey, Jimmy said he just left. I'm sure he's heading home. I'm going to go find him.

Sire Captain Rogers: Go ahead. I think Sarah and I can find something to do while you find Buck. ;)

You: Yeah I’m sure you can.

You: BEHAVE. She’s my best friend.

Sire Captain Rogers: I know Y/N, don’t worry about us. Let me know when you find him.

You lock your phone and hop in a cab back to the compound.

No one is up or around when you enter through the front. The kitchen has been cleaned up, the dishes done. Probably thanks to THURSDAY, Tony’s beta bot for “cleaning up after you assholes trash the place.”

You smirk and head for the elevators. Heading straight to Bucky’s room, you can tell his light is on but something seems off. You don’t like to use your powers on friends or in the compound, but you close your eyes and reach out with your mind to find his aura. Your eyes snap open. You don’t sense him, you just see red.

Taking this as a good excuse to break into a friend’s room, you burst into the room to find it in disarray. Everything is toppled over, broken glass is on the floor, the bathroom light is on, but all you can see is his blood on the door and the floor. You’re panicked, trying to piece together what happened.

Again, you close your eyes and reach out for the familiar energy of Bucky. You find him in your room on the floor.

“What the fuck?,” you mumble and sprint up the stairs to your apartment. You shoot Steve a text on your way up.

You: Found him, looks like a bad one. I’ll let you know if I need you.

Sir Captain Rogers: Thanks Y/N. I’m just a call away, let me know if you need anything. Night.

Upon entering, you sense he’s in distress. His heart rate is elevated, he’s incredibly sweaty and is panting like a dog.

“Bucky? Buck, it’s me, it’s Y/N.”

Bucky stirs and jumps into a defensive standing position quicker than you can blink. You flip the lights on with a “BABE. Baaabe, it’s me. It’s okay, you’re safe. We’re in the compound. You had a nightmare.”

Bucky’s eyes are wide and alarmed, but you can tell the moment he recognizes you.

Rushing over to you, he takes you into a big hug. “Oh my god. What happened? Are you okay, did I hurt you?”

“No Bucky, no I just found you a minute ago. You had another bad one, what do you need me to do right now for you?”

Bucky stands back and rubs his swollen eyes. “I need to shower, can you help me?”

Typically, this is where it gets exciting, but you knew what he means. Water grounds him. He doesn’t feel like he’s falling in water. It helps him visualize the stress washing off of him.

You help him strip and get in the shower, but before you can even take his jeans off, he jumps in and pulls you in with him. You realize how desperate he is for whatever he’s feeling to pass and your heart sinks.

You’re both standing there, almost fully clothed holding each other. This is the worst you’ve seen him in a long time.

“I’m so sorry if I ruined your night, Y/N. The base sounded like the train, the lights looked like the machine they used on me, what the fuck.”

You aren’t sure what to do so you decide to sit on the ground and pull him down with you. You position yourself behind him so his back is in your chest. Even though he’s so much larger than you, he sinks down enough for you to reach over his shoulders and hold him.

“It’s okay Barnes, just breathe with me. You’re safe. You’re with me, and we’re home. Nobody is going to touch you. I’ve got you, you won’t fall.”

You take in deep breaths so he can match your breathing.

After about 45 minutes, the hot water is out in the tank. Bucky sits forward and turns towards you. You want him to lead right now, so you don’t say anything. Neither does he, but the look in his eyes are telling you something about tonight is different.

With a soft smile on your lips, you cup his cheek until he is really looking at you. “Hun, let’s go lay down, ya? Let me help get you dried off.” Bucky hates when you fuss over him, so when he doesn’t argue, you know to be extra gentle with him.

After getting him up and out of the shower, you think skin-to-skin contact doesn’t seem sexual right now, it feels intimate in a grounding sense, and you know that’s exactly what he needs right now. Bucky seems dazed, almost like he got hit too hard in the head. You yourself are of course a tad over-served, and are quickly realizing the adrenaline of this entire situation is rubbing off.

You get Bucky into bed and turn to make sure his phone is plugged in and that he has a glass of water, but he grabs your wrist before you can move away. “Just leave it, it’s fine.”

“Buck, just let me-“ he grabs your wrist harder.

“Y/N. Please just stay here. Please.”

The entire time you’ve been together, he’s done a lot of things but begging you for anything is not one of them. Suddenly the phone and whatever hell else you were doing doesn’t seem important anymore.

You climb into your usual spot next to him and decide maybe you’ll try to get him to open up. The moment the back of your head hits the pillow, Bucky is facing you. His pleading eyes seem like they want to tell you everything that’s going on in his head, but you know pushing him to talk will just make the nightmares come flooding back too soon.

Instead, you decide to lay on your back and pull him to lay on your chest.

“Just listen to my heart beat, Bucky.” You hear him take a deep breath and settle into your chest.

You start and stop yourself from trying to say something comforting. You’re terrified to say the wrong thing at such a crucial moment. Typically these bad episodes are reserved for a Steve house call. You realize as he’s settling into a comfortable position that he hasn’t asked you to call Steve yet. Bucky trusts you in a way you didn’t realize until now.

You don’t know when, but you start humming the first calming song that comes in your head.

I’ll be seeing you In all the old familiar places That this heart of mine embraces All day through

Bucky picks his head up to look at you. Oh fuck.

“Where did you hear that song?,” he says to you with shiny eyes.

“You sing it all the time when you’re concentrating. I looked it up and added it to my ‘bath time/relax’ playlist. I didn't know Billie Holliday was a favorite of yours."

Bucky was looking at you like maybe this was the first time he saw you, like really saw you. “My mom used to sing that around the house when she was missing my dad.”

“Oh I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. I can hum a diff-“ you’re cut off with the most searing kiss Bucky has ever given you. He’s crying when he pulls back to look at you again. “Will you keep singing it?”

In that small cafe The park across the way The children's carousel That chestnut tree, the wishing well

By the time you finish the second verse, he has physically relaxed in your arms. You continue rubbing your hand up and down his back and shoulder, stopping to play with his long hair every once in a while.

I'll be seeing you In every lovely summer's day In every thing that's light and gay I'll always think of you that way

“I forgot how much I love hearing this song sung around me.” Bucky whispers so quietly you almost miss it.

I'll find you in the morning sun And when the night is new I'll be looking at the moon But I'll be seeing you…

You stop your caressing when you feel him sit up on one arm.

He leans down to kiss you but stops short to whisper “I love you Y/N.” You kiss him back and wrap your arms around his shoulders, and when you say “I love you too, Bucky,” you’ve never been more sure of something in your life.

[corpse--diem]

Past Lives | Eilidh & Erin

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @braindeacl​ LOCATION: Nichols’ Funeral Home SUMMARY: The Glitch investigates an outdated lead regarding Erin’s organ trafficking operation.  CONTENT WARNINGS: none

Erin didn’t remember the sun setting. It felt like only moments had passed, not hours, since she had settled into her office with a stack of paperwork and a full cup of coffee. The last sip had been ice cold, prompting a look of disgust to cross her face and her eyes to glance at the clock. It was late. Too late to still be hunched over her laptop in a full suit, the jacket abandoned on the small loveseat next to the door. When she moved, she felt her age and the stiffness that came from hours of desk work--a necessary evil, of course. Still evil. The laptop closed with a click and she rubbed her eyes when she decided enough was enough for the night, moving to close the blinds. Her body sagged with exhaustion and annoyance.

“Damn it, Jimmy,” she mumbled under her breath. A white van sat in the parking lot, blocking in both the hearse she was going to need to use in the morning and her own vehicle. Jimmy, her bright-eyed and well meaning delivery driver had forgotten to move it before clocking out. It could wait until the morning, but her legs ached to be stretched, so she pulled her jacket on and headed out the door, keys in hand.  Don’t forget to move the van, she had specifically instructed him on his way out. No problem, Miss Nick! had been his cheery response. I thought we talked about not calling me that, Jimmy. A good kid over all, if not sometimes a bit flighty, but he did his best.

When the vehicles were all back in their rightful homes, she closed the garage door behind her, starting the lock up ritual. The security pad beeped as she entered the password, silent but for the electronic confirmations. Something felt off, like she could feel eyes on her, and she glanced around briefly. Just a quiet, dirty garage. Exhaustion and shadows were messing with her. She laughed quietly at herself and headed towards the door that linked the house to the garage. That feeling was still there. Her eyes darted around the room and she reached for whatever was nearby--a shovel, fingers barely grasping the handle. Like she knew she was being silly. But just in case. “Hello?” She called out, her voice echoing off the concrete walls.

It hadn’t been hard to discover what Erin had done. It was carried in whispers around the town. Such small, harmless things. But when enough people whispered the same rumor, they congealed into a shout. Beckoning Eilidh forward. While it failed to gain her full interest initially, when she relayed the information to James, it clearly disturbed him. Wide eyes, crinkled mouth. Just like the people around town when she found them, horrors uttered in soft tones. After an explanation, she began to understand his viewpoint. But not enough to completely feel the same way. Still, it was clear that the woman’s actions were terrible. Damnable.

Her hands began to itch.

Interest finally piqued, she started to follow the woman from a distance. Watching. Observing. Planning. When her eyes didn’t fall on Erin’s physical form, they surveyed what information could be found on the internet. She found the location of her work. Continued to watch, to plan. Then, one day became the turning point. It started off as any other. She went to work. Enjoyed some bird watching. But as the sun began to retreat to the horizon, she headed to the funeral home. Once the building lay in her sights, she slipped into an alleyway. Donning her gear, weapons at hand, face hidden, she was ready.

Watching. Observing. She waited until the young man, who on her second day of watch was revealed to be named Jimmy, left the establishment. Based on her knowledge, her target should be alone. Into the open garage she went. Whenever, wherever, Erin exited from, the garage was a suitable place of action. Somewhat concealed from the outside world. Or, if she was lucky, fully concealed. She rolled underneath a car. Waiting. As the time ticked away, part of her just wanted to bolt into the building. But then she detected movement. Out came her mark. Thankfully, it wasn’t the car Eilidh had decided to hide under that was moved. And her luck continued, for the woman eliminated one of her easy exits. Potential salvation closed with a loud thud, and in the commotion, Eilidh withdrew from her hideaway. The motion must’ve tipped Erin off, for she suddenly grew wary. Time for the reveal.

“NicHols.” Voice came from behind. There was something off about the way it sounded. Just as there was something off about the way she looked. Glamour activated, she became a pulsating, humanoid mass. One body part would look normal, then crooked the next. A hand would suddenly shift into the image of a frog before reverting to normal. And her whole body would crackle and split, like static.

“I tHinK yoou knOw wHY I’m HerE.” Clutching a metal bar, she placed a tip in between Erin’s shoulder blades. Then shoved it forward. Hard.

The sight that came from the shadows was more horrifying than anything Erin could have dreamt up, and the voice that accompanied it did nothing but amplify the feeling that Erin had suddenly found herself in a terrible nightmare. That’s what had happened right? She’d fallen asleep at her desk again. That’s all this was.

“Ow, Fuck—“ she yelped as the woman-frog-thing pressed the metal into her skin, hard enough to jolt her, nearly losing her step. Nope. Not asleep. That absolutely would have woken her up. As she backed up, turning to face this new horror fully, she knew she was terrified. Knew that somehow that this intruder had their hands on some sort of magic, or was a supernatural she’d never even heard of, and that alone should have bettered her judgment right then and there. But there was a larger part of her, the one that simmered low and hot in her belly, that was angry. It felt too familiar, too comfortable in its place within her. Gripping the shovel, holding it in front of her to create more distance, she decided that was something she’d have to reckon with when there wasn’t a grotesque visitor with a crowbar coming towards her.

“Do I?” She asked, her voice more even than her insides would suggest. She gripped the shovel for all she was worth, eyeing the door that led back into the house, quietly calculating how long it would take to yank the door open and shut it on their face. It wouldn’t keep them out, likely, but the time and distance would be worth it. “It’s been a long day, and I don’t have my planner with me so uh--if you don’t mind, I could use a reminder. Did we have an appointment?” Maybe she could talk them down? Maybe this didn’t need to end with some scrappy, painful fight here in her garage.

When Erin continued to stand, footing not lost despite the thrust, Eilidh was surprised. Surprised further when a calm voice came from her, seemingly unbothered by the sudden attack. Not the expected reaction. A hint of the true fear lingered in the other’s eyes, but a fight could be found in equal portions. This wasn’t a simple bluff. Huh. Remembering the line of work Erin preoccupied herself with—both publicly and in the shadows—Eilidh shouldn’t be too amazed. Such activities gave someone a thick skin, a hardened shell. What would it take to make it crack? Still, a small part of her couldn’t help but admire Erin’s tenacity. Not enough to stop her next move, of course. Nature must take its course. The cravings must be satiated. She buried the feeling down, same as the others. Only the thrill of the hunt remained. Grip tightened on her weapon, mirroring her adversary. But she kept hers close, waiting for the right moment to strike.

Despite it all, amused at the juxtaposition between Erin’s words and the situation at hand, a chuckle managed to slip out. The sound wasn’t right, coming out more like a car engine that refused to start. “‘FrAid nOT. YoU taKE wAlK-Ins?” Her body tensed—lurched forward. A small movement that immediately corrected itself, implying an attack that never came. A ruse to keep the other uneased. “WheN’S yoUr plANneeR saY orGan shIPmEnt? I’d loVe to mEEt YouR frIEnnnds.” Body tensed again, but this time action followed. She swung forward—rod meeting shovel—the impact vibrating across the metal. Unforgiving, it shook her to her core. Threatening to contort her wrists. But she held on. Next swing was aimed lower, at the woman’s legs.

In any other situation, Erin would have enjoyed a good back and forth. Walk-ins. She’d heard that one before. In any other situation she would have cracked a smile and returned the dark humor. But this thing was throwing out jokes and threats, with an emphasis on the threats that kept her focused. The unexpected noise spilling from it’s throat startled Erin backwards until her heels bumped against the cement wall behind her. The wall. Fuck. She was trapped. “Organ shipment?” Their words were distorted but not unclear, successfully rattling away any semblance of confidence she still clung to. Organ shipment. The gravity of the intruder’s words suddenly draped over her like a heavy, dark shroud. Who the hell was she dealing with here?

“I’m not--I don’t--” she stammered, cut off by the crowbar hurtling towards her. Banter time was over, then. The shovel thrummed under her fingertips when the blow connected, her entire body straining against the strength behind it. They were strong, far stronger than Erin, and the shovel clambered to the floor just as their next swing took flight. She only moved back fast enough to spare one leg from the hit. White hot pain shot up her leg, followed by a scream that mingled with a furious series of explicatives as it gave way beneath her.

“Will you just--stop!” She managed through grit teeth, a flash of pain-fueled rage sharpening in their direction. At some point during the fall, she’d grabbed a screwdriver, apparently, and found herself pointing it as menacingly as possible. “I-I can explain.” Erin’s voice came out shaky and strained, but surprisingly even-keeled for her predicament. Her knee howled as she backed up, tossing anything she could at the masked stranger. A stray bucket, folding chairs, all to create distance and buy time. “I don’t know where you got your information but you’re too late. I’m not who you’re looking for.” She huffed out a long breath, stilling her movements, hoping whoever was behind those dark goggles saw more than a cornered woman’s desperate pleas. “If you need something, I can point you in the right direction, if that’s what you want. But you don’t want me.”

The rod made contact and the woman was downed. Eilidh raised it again, ready to send another strike down, seeing as Erin was momentarily stunned. But then she screamed out something unexpected. Well, not entirely unexpected. This wasn’t the first time someone has pleaded innocence. I don’t know what you’re talking about! You got the wrong guy! It wasn’t me; I swear! Usually after the fourth hit they started to reveal their true colors. But there were those instances that their pleas ended up being true. Sometimes the realization coming too late. With this on her mind, it caused Eilidh to pause. She wasn’t convinced. Not in the slightest. But she’ll allow herself to be convinced. “YoU’ree NOt the FiirSt asssHOle to teLL Me tHAt.”

The momentary stalemate was one-sided, for Erin was on the move. First welding a screwdriver, and Eilidh knew from personal use how dangerous they could be in close quarters. Then objects began to fly. The bucket struck her right in the head. There was an audible crack from her neck. Her head lay crooked. Back of it reached her shoulders, facing the buzzing lights above instead of ahead. Then after a jolt forward, her head snapped back into place. She dodged one of the chairs. Caught another. Erin took a step, Eilidh matched it with her own. From a safe but close distance. Always there, but never meeting.

Gripping the seized chair, she flung it, returning it to Erin. Off it went towards Erin’s working leg—meaning to trip. “Ya gOT aNY pRooooF? ‘CAuSe fROm my siDE, tHAt soooUNds LIke BUllshIt.” But she made no further aggressive moves. Just staring, in close pursuit, mimicking her target’s motions. But not breaking that established distance. Unless needed. Unless she tried to run away.

Morgan’s zombie dismemberment theatrics she’d watched in amazement in the past helped make their neck easier to digest. Still horrifying in its own right and it certainly didn’t do much to convince Erin that this was someone she could physically outmaneuver. She winced when the chair hit her other leg, gritting her teeth to stop another pained yelp from leaving her. She wasn’t convinced. Of course not. “I’m sure it does,” she grimaced, nursing the spot on her shin where a new bruise was forming. Proof. How the hell was she supposed to prove that? All she had was an outrageous story and a body count to prove the hell she’d gone through. “No. I don’t,” she answered firmly. “Tear apart my house. Root through the basement for coolers full of organs and untagged bodies,” she shrugged, her anger fueling this frustrated apathy coming on. Fighting was useless. Running was useless. Proving her innocence would be to. She was screwed no matter what.

She swallowed hard, staring into the dark, empty lenses of the goggles. “I don’t know how the hell you think you are, coming into my home, my business--but I lost everything fighting to get out of that life.” The house. Maybe she could still get out of this? Her eyes widened slightly and she pointed towards the door that led to the main building of the funeral home. “Do you know why this place still smells like new wood and fresh paint? Because Roy Chambers burned down my house when I told him I was out. There’s still scorch marks in some places in the attic if you need to see it yourself.” It was a gamble, but if this person knew about the organs, surely that name would spark some sort of recognition. He’d overseen the whole operation. And if not, she could only steel herself for whatever came next.

While she would love to rummage through Erin’s home, unlocking secrets that were bound to be kept there, Eilidh doubted she was stupid enough to keep such blatant evidence in her own home. “PaSS.” After a fit of passion—which caused Eilidh’s eyes to widen slightly, intrigued by the directed outburst—Erin seemed to be struck with inspiration. The first part was lost on Eilidh because, no, she literally couldn’t wonder why the place smelt like that. But that name: Roy Chambers… Roy Chambers? Roy Chambers! She’d heard it before. Whispered in air, just like Erin’s own misdeeds. But these whispers were like that of the Boogeyman. Eilidh didn’t know much; trying to look up Roy Chambers through normal means only produced vague reports, if anything at all. But the rumors, the hushed words in the dark, as if merely mentioning his name would bring the man back from the dead. It was enough to paint a nasty picture. If only she had gotten here sooner, had a chance to eat his soul—it must’ve been delicious. “AnD? YoUR pooiNT?” Despite it all: the supposed scorch marks, the supposed smell, the supposed connection to a monstrous man. It all could be a fabrication. The desperate concoction of a cornered woman. If only she could prove anything.

The clock was ticking. Fate almost sealed.

Still, the sight of Erin cowering, in spite of her resolve. Part of Eilidh felt right at home; finding yet another glove that fit, snug on her bloodied hands. Part of her felt nothing; heart bare and empty, wiped down with the disinfectant known as apathy. But that deeply buried part, the part that always squirmed as these moments came to pass, did as it always does. Relented under the weight of the others. Usually easy to ignore—itches must be scratched, urges must be fulfilled. But, still, she faltered. The situation was becoming… complicated. Even with her suspicions, the conviction in Erin’s voice. It held a power she rarely saw in these situations. An impressive liar? Or a misplaced target? And it was only with James’ persuasion that she found herself there, standing before the battered Erin. She lacked the typical enthusiasm. Her grip on the bar softened for a moment. Despite her efforts, she began to feel conflicted.

But the cravings demanded offering. There was something else she could try to satiate them. “ProovE it aNOther wAy.” She pointed the metal bar at her. “GiVe mee thREe nAmeS. NaMEs oF tHe daMNed.” Instead of matching Erin’s tempo, she took an extra step. Closer. “YoUR ooold friENdS.” Closer. “If ThEY’re acCEPtabLe, yOU’ll nEVer Seee me aGAin. BetTEr hoPe to sHIT thEY aaare.” She was almost in striking range. But the attack never came. She simply stared at Erin. In the passing silence, her head did one final glitch, transforming into a massive bouquet of thorns. Those thorns tilted, curiously. “DeAL?”

Pass. Erin couldn’t control the eyeroll that followed. Short-lived as it was. The masked intruder took another step closer. She had to wonder how intentional the timing of each magical glitch of their facade was. Could they time it? Was it random? The entire plan had been constructed with leaving as little evidence behind as possible. If Erin had any hope of having an actual life after Roy, that part had been as crucial as, well--not dying. A similar goal here. But names? Erin could do names. Something had struck a chord and Erin thanked every star in the galaxy it’d been enough to give her a chance. The irony of tossing his name out there as a former associate of his in order to keep her kneecaps wasn’t lost on her, either.

“Deal,” she nodded. Comparatively, this could have been worse. Her lips paused in thought, her mind running back to the list of players Erin herself had put together. Felt like a lifetime ago since she’d stared at those names, studied their faces. More than a few she was comfortable with were still out there. If they wanted to tie up some loose threads that had managed to slip through her fingers? Maybe this wasn’t going to be as bad for her as that initial crowbar to the back had implied. Three less faces she had to worry less about meeting in a dark alley one day. If they could pull it off, anyway. Erin wouldn’t mourn the stranger threatening her in her garage. She put up one finger. “Otis Pfefferman. Erik Kewe. Tony Dallas.” A second, and then third finger followed suit before she dropped her hand back to her side. “All loyal to the big guy until the very end. And just so we’re perfectly clear. These slimeballs?” Erin shook her head, the disgust and contempt she held for these three oozing from every word. “Not my friends. Not in any lifetime.”

Done. Deal. They’d apparently come to an agreement but Erin still trusted this stranger as far as she could throw them. She gripped the screwdriver tightly by her side, but remained perfectly still otherwise. Talking about this, about Roy, about all of them had stirred something in her. Woke her up, fanned that flame all over again. Her knee ached and her hands still shook just slightly, but not once had she pleaded for her life in front of Roy. This stranger didn’t deserve that from her either. She was getting soft. Tilting her chin up, she nodded once. “Good enough? Because I’ve got a nice new dent in my shin to ice and awesome hobble now, and if you’re not going to kill me, I want to know who you are. You owe me that much.”

Otis Pfefferman. Erik Kewe. Tony Dallas. The names repeated in Eilidh’s mind. A mantra. Pact had been sealed—their fates almost just the same. All depended on the trustworthiness of Erin’s condemnation, her fate tied to them. One or three were destined to face the power of her cravings. Hope was placed with the latter, a bountiful harvest it would be. Soon, those three would receive a similar visit as the one today. Perhaps their very last one, if they were ripe enough. She could practically feel it now, canines against brain matter. Hunger churned from within. Distinguishing any previous discomfort.

Good enough? “It miGHt bee.” Only time would tell. She must face each man, taste their soul, and determine if they will suffice. If not, this minor act of civility would not be offered again. A sound emitted from her as her identity was put into question, the true form lost, instead coming out as an abrupt shriek. But an answer did not leave her lips. She banged the bar against the concrete below, loud clang ricocheted and reverberated off the walls, conglomerated into a symphony. Clang, clang, clang. The impact had barely missed Erin’s one good leg. And with that, Eilidh scurried off without another word. It was only when she was among the surrounding treeline, a fog lifting from her mind at the comforting sight, that she remembered...

She had forgotten to ask for any information on these men.

Fuck.

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 67

warnings: mentions of blood Hold My Hand Masterlist

John was right about one thing: Jimmy is doing everything in his power to make you laugh and cheer you up. He’s somehow managed to find a karaoke bar and he’s singing loudly as the whole bar claps along with him.

Tess looks at Jimmy and points, “That’s my husband!”

You smile to yourself when you see how proud she is of him, and you couldn’t be happier for her. Jimmy has completely pulled Tess out of her shell. She was never quiet, that’s for sure, but she was never this…silly. Being with Jimmy has softened her, and you love it more than anything to see how happy and in love she is.

Watching the way the two of them are looking at each other makes you think of John, and you feel a twinge of jealousy. Not because you’re jealous of them, but you’re just jealous that he’s here…unlike John.

You still have a nagging feeling in your stomach, so you take a big sip of your drink. You’re not one to really drink alcohol, but it’s helping to ease your mind. Kind of. You reach into your purse and pull out your phone, and you’re shocked to see you have a text from John.

You open it and tears fill your eyes as you read it: I just got here, and I want to tell that I love you. I’ll be home sooner than I thought. I can’t wait to see you. I miss you so much already.

You know John doesn’t usually text you when he’s working and you don’t want to be a distraction, so you put your phone in your purse without texting him back. You can’t deny that his text boosted your mood though. You look up just as Jimmy gets back to the table, and he gestures to you for your thoughts.

“So, what did you think?” he asks, out of breath.

“I think you are a…surprisingly good singer.” you say and look at Tess, “I had no idea.”

Tess leans her head on his shoulder and smiles, “He’s so talented.”

“Oh, thanks, babe.” he says, leaning down to kiss her. “So, Tess told you that I wanted to get a tattoo, right? Well, I was instructed by John to distract as much as possible tonight, and I already looked it up and there’s a tattoo shop around the corner.”

“Okay.” you nod and look at Tess as she frowns.

“I can’t get one.” she points at her belly and slouches, “But as soon as…Finny James is born, I’m getting one. Maybe even two.”

“I see the nickname is growing on you.” you smile.

“Unfortunately.”

__

“You’re sure?” the tattoo artist asks, and you nod.

Tess is such a bad influence on you. When you came to the shop, you knew she’d try to convince you to get a tattoo, and now here you are, standing nervously in front of a mirror trying to figure out where the hell you can get a tattoo.

“I think I want it hidden somewhere.” you say, taking a deep breath as you look at yourself in the mirror.

“Oh, come on, just go full sleeve. John would probably die.” Jimmy says, and you look over at him as he clenches his fist and scrunches his face up while the tattoo artist continues on his tattoo on his bicep.

“Well, John is probably going to die either way. He’ll be so shocked that I did this, and he’ll probably be shocked that I didn’t wait for him. I had promised him that I’d get a tattoo with him. Not like…matching tattoos, but just something together. Okay, so kinda like matching tattoos, but less corny.” you say and continue looking at yourself in the mirror.

“Side boob?” Tess suggests, and you shrug. “Kinda sexy too, like on your side, but also kinda on your boob.”

“That’s...perfect actually. My bra strap and swimsuit tops would cover it.” you say and lay down on the tattoo bed. Tess lays Jimmy’s jacket over your chest as you pull the straps of your dress down and lay on your side, “Thanks.”

Tess holds her hand out in front of you and exhales, “Go easy on me.”

__

You sit down on the couch, wincing when you stretch a little too much on your left side. You don’t know if it’s because your mind was occupied with worrying about John, but the tattoo really didn’t hurt as bad as you thought.

Tess looks at you and smiles, “John is going to love your tattoo.”

“I sure hope so, since it’s, ya know, permanent.”

“When are you going to show him?” Jimmy asks, handing Tess a bottle of water.

“Well, I mean, he sees me naked every day, so there’s no way I could hide it from him for long. Might have to show him when he gets home.” you reach into your purse and pull out your phone, “He actually texted me about two hours ago. He said he’d be home sooner than he thought, but he’s obviously not back yet. I don't know how long his jobs take anyway. He's called before he’s left for a job, then he’ll call me again like three hours later to tell me that he's already home, but I don't think they're all that quick. He usually likes to scope everything out for a while first.”

“Do you text him back, or does he tell you not to?” Tess asks, leaning back on the couch.

“He’s never told me to not text him, but you know me, I don’t want to distract him.” you shrug and get up from the couch to get something to drink, “He actually never texts me. We usually FaceTime until he has to leave, and then when he gets home, we’ll FaceTime again. But it’s usually not until early in the morning.”

“Babe, you can go to bed.” Jimmy laughs a little as Tess yawns.  

“I’m sorry, I’m so tired.” she frowns and gets up from the couch.

You lean against the back of the couch and look at Tess, “I’m going to stay up until John gets home, but I just want to change into my pajamas. I’ll probably just find a movie on TV and watch it. Or at least try.”

Jimmy pats her thigh and smiles, “I’m going to stay up with her though, just until John gets back.”

Tess can tell you’re worried about John and she nods, “Oh, well, I’ll watch a movie with you. Just let me change into your pajamas and you pick the movie.”

__

The three of you have crammed yourselves on the couch, and Tess is laying with her head against Jimmy’s shoulder. She’s fighting to keep her eyes open, but she’s just so tired. Her eyes finally drift shut, and Jimmy wraps a blanket over the two of them.

“She’s precious, isn’t she?”

You chuckle a little, “Yeah, when she’s not talking.”

Jimmy lets out a small laugh as he looks at you, then he looks back at Tess and rubs her cheek, “I love her so much.”

“She loves you.” you smile and look over at Jimmy. “I know she can be a little blunt sometimes and hard to read, but she really does love you. I mean, you know that of course, she married you.”

“Yeah, but it’s nice to hear her sister say it.” he says, grinning from ear to ear. He watches you look down at your phone again and he clears his throat, “No news from John?”

“No, it’s been almost four hours now.” you say and shrug, “I don’t want him to rush, but I’m just worried, especially after he said he would be home sooner. Makes me wonder if something went wrong. I just worry about him so much.”

“Understandably so.”

You frown a little, contemplating if you want to be this vulnerable with Jimmy. He's only ever been nice to you, so you figure it's okay. Plus he's known John longer than you have, so it might be kind of nice to hear what he has to say.

Taking a deep breath, you look over at Jimmy and shrug, “He was right earlier when he said I was only so worried because I was here. I mean, he was somewhat right. I worry about him a lot when he'd work and I was at home. But I do think I'm a little more worried because I'm just sitting here waiting for him. It makes me wonder what would happen if, god forbid, he was...”

“Yeah.” Jimmy nods, thankfully not letting you finish the sentence.

“What would I even do? How would I even find out about it? Would someone tell me? Come to my house and let me know? Would Winston show up at my house and tell me that he was dead?” you sigh, shaking your head at the thought, “I just worry about him so damn much, but I can't make him walk away from that life. He has to want it himself.”

Jimmy reaches out to touch your shoulder, “I know it's hard not to, but I honestly don't think you need to really worry about John. I don't mean this to be...rude, but you have no idea how good John is at his job. He's amazing. He's literally like a one man army, no one really wants to fuck with John.”

“Yeah.” you nod, and a silence falls over the room for a few short minutes.

“You know, I didn’t know Helen.” he says, and you look over at him and let out a small laugh. “I knew John before he met her, but once they started seeing each other, I never went over to his house. They dated and got married within six months, I believe. It was super quick.”

You look down at Tess on his shoulder and laugh, “You’re one to talk.”

“No,” he shakes his head, “I’m not saying it was a bad thing. I think if you’re in love and you want to be with that person, you shouldn’t wait if you don’t want to.”

“That’s true.”

“Anyway, I had seen John a few times with Helen at the store, but we didn’t really talk. Only a quick conversation.” he says and wraps his arm around Tess tighter, “But he was happy, I could tell.”

“Are you trying to make me feel better, or…?”

“Yes,” he sits up a little and laughs, “Yeah, I am. He was happy with Helen, and she was great. I only talked to her a few times, but she was really nice. She made John really happy, I could see it when I saw him. But the way John is with you…”

“A good thing?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “A great thing. I’ve never seen him like this. He loves you a lot, and that’s not to say he didn’t love Helen. It was just…”

“Different.” you say, finishing his sentence.

“Every time he leaves for work, he calls me and makes sure that I’ll keep an extra close eye on you. He knows that you’re fine, but he still worries. I know I’ve told you about how John mentioned you and said he wanted to talk to you, but I don’t think you realize how scared he was to actually talk to you.”

“I don’t know why, I’m definitely not intimidating.” you laugh.

“You were to him, you still are. He says you can be very…unpredictable sometimes.” he laughs, “When he was going to propose, he came over and freaked out for about an hour. Kept saying he couldn’t handle you rejecting him. He went through every possible scenario, had an outcome -- positive and negative for each. Tess calmed him down, and he finally realized how stupid he was being. There was no way you were going to reject him, and he knew that.”

You look down at your engagement ring and smile, “I would never reject him.”

“And we told him that over and over.” Jimmy laughs and watches you as you spin your ring on your finger.

“He’s just…silly sometimes.” you laugh, “I can’t pretend I’m not as well, sometimes I wonder what the fuck he sees in me. Wonder when he’s going to drop me.”

“Not going to happen. I can say that with one hundred percent certainty.”

You look up at Jimmy and smile, “Thanks.”

“When I’d see him with Helen, they were so…mature.” Jimmy looks at you and shakes his head, “I don’t know a better word. But they seemed like they had been married for 20 years, probably had a routine, and I’m sure John loved it. You know him.”

“I do.” you laugh, nodding your head. “I kind of ruined his whole routine thing he had going. Always was up by 6, had his coffee, took Bleu for a walk, showered, then he’d go about his day binding some books and doing other shit. I mean, I wouldn’t stop him if that’s what he wanted to do now. Just don’t wake me up.”

Jimmy laughs, “Yeah, well, I’m sure he has a hard time leaving his bed nowadays.”

You roll your eyes a little at Jimmy, then you look down at your hands, “Now I feel bad for ruining his routine and everything that he had all planned out.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t feel bad. He’s really spontaneous now, so…full of life. You really bring out the best in John. This side of John, I have never seen and it’s all because of you. He’s never gotten to be himself before, even with Helen, but you have given him the opportunity.” Jimmy says as you begin to tear up, “I don’t think you’ll ever realize how important you are to him.”

You wipe away a tear on your cheek and smile, “You’re making me cry, Jimmy.”

“And he clearly can’t keep his hands to himself.” he says, and you immediately begin to blush. “You know I knew something was going on at the club when I saw your face, and then Tess told me and I was shocked. I had no idea John would do something like that, but again, he can’t keep his hands to himself.”

You laugh loudly and cover your mouth to not wake Tess up, “Jimmy, please stop.”

“Seriously though, he really is so happy with you.” he says and reaches out for your shoulder again, “You’ve changed his life, you have no idea. Never doubt your role in his life.”

You look at Jimmy and smile, “Thank you, that means a lot to me. It’s nice to hear that from his best friend.”

Jimmy perks up a little and smiles wide, “You really think I’m his best friend?”

“Jimmy, please,” you roll your eyes and laugh, “Yes! Of course you are.”

He looks down with a smile on his face, then he looks up at you again, “Wow. That’s really cool.”

You’re sure Jimmy probably didn’t have many close friends growing up, and as you get older it’s always hard to find true friends. You’re lucky that you have Tess, but at the end of the day, she’s your sister. She kinda has no choice but to be your friend. But you like to think that she’d be your best friend no matter what.

John definitely didn’t have many friends -- he still doesn’t. But he’s gotten closer to Jimmy over the past few years, and even Aurelio. They’re both his closest friends, and John has told you many times that they are two of the few people who truly know what John has been through.

“Hey, can I tell you something?”

You look up at Jimmy and nod, “Of course.”

Jimmy smiles, “Well, this morning when John and I were out, he…asked me to be his best man. I’m sure you already knew he was going to ask, but I haven’t even told Tess yet.”

You laugh quietly, reaching out to touch Jimmy’s shoulder, “We already talked about it, and I think it’s a great idea. I can’t imagine anyone else standing up there with us. Tess, of course, is my maid of honor. I know I’m going to ask her in some big way, I’ll make a huge deal about it for her.”

Jimmy laughs, “Oh, she’ll love that.”

Tess starts to move around and she snuggles closer to him, then sits up. “Whoa. When did I fall asleep?”

“About an hour ago.” he say and pulls her back into his arms.

You hear a faint knock at the door and look over your shoulder at the door, “Did you hear that?”

You hear it again and start to get up when Jimmy stops you, then he carefully gets up from the couch to answer the door. He opens the door, and you lean back a little to see who it is.

“Holy shit, man!” Jimmy says, and you immediately get up from the couch. “How long have you been out here?”

“Hey, only a few minutes. My leg gave out and I don’t have my room key.”

You hear John’s voice and walk closer to the door with a little pep in your step, but you quickly cover your mouth with your hands when you catch a glimpse of John’s face covered in blood and tiny cuts as Jimmy helps him off the floor.

The knot that has been in your stomach tightens even more when you see John; bloody, bruised, and struggling to walk. He winces every time he puts pressure on his left leg, and Tess reaches out to help lead him to the bed.

Tears fill your eyes, and John shakes his head when he sees you, “I’m fine. Sweetheart, I’m fine.”

“Jonathan, baby…” you reach out for John and cup his face, frantically looking him over as you try not to sob, “Oh, my god!”

“I’m fine, just a couple…cuts.” he says and presses his hand to your cheek, “I’m fine.”

“Jesus Christ, John. What happened?” Tess says, ripping the blankets off the bed so he can lay down and not stain them all.

“Work.” he chuckles, wincing as he lays back on the bed.

You’re still in shock, and when you look at your hands, you notice they’re covered in blood from John’s face. You ball your hands up into fists and try to be as brave as possible, but you’re frozen in place. The fear of John being severely hurt has completely immobilized you, and you watch as Jimmy and Tess help John get settled on the bed. The way he’s wincing you know it’s more than a couple of cuts, and he grimaces as he lays back and exhales shakily.

“Take off your jacket.” Tess says, and John squints his eyes when she shines her flashlight from her phone in his face.

“What?”

“I said take off your damn jacket!” she repeats and helps him sit up.

John groans in pain as he sits up a little to take off his jacket, and Tess uses the flashlight to look over the rest of his upper body. She hands her phone to Jimmy and starts to unbutton John’s shirt and tears his undershirt open.

“Wow, really?” he laughs, then he points at you, “My fiancee is right there, and I’m not into you like that.”

“Listen, I’m going to be as nice as possible, but shut the fuck up, John.” she rolls her eyes jokingly, and the two of them start to laugh.

He’s obviously not in too much pain since he’s laughing and joking with Tess, but you don’t see the humor in this situation. You take a few steps forward and exhale in relief when you don’t see any blood on his chest or stomach, but you notice a few bruises forming already. Something on John’s thigh is catching the light and shining, and you suddenly realize why he’s in so much pain.

“Oh, my god!” you gasp and point to John’s leg, “You have a shard of glass in your leg!”

John leans up a little to see it and he rubs his hand over it, flinching when he feels it. He looks at his hand to see the blood, then lays back on the bed, “Yeah, I knew I got stabbed but I didn’t know if it was glass or a knife. I thought he pulled it out, but I guess not.”

You all look over and see a small woman standing in the doorway; you were too focused on John that you didn’t notice Jimmy had left to call for the doctor. She’s wearing dark blue scrub pants and her scrub shirt is covered in tiny flowers. She looks like she should be working in a children’s hospital, not a hotel for the world’s deadliest assassins. Her hair is the prettiest shade of brown you’ve ever seen, and it’s tucked neatly into a bun. She looks like she’s in her 50s, but then again, you’re terrible with age since you thought John was in his 40s.

“Hey, John.” she sighs and pulls up a chair next to the bed, “Been a while.”

“Yeah,” he props himself up on his elbows and smiles, “How are you?”

“Been pretty good. Working a lot.” she says and sits back in the chair as the two talk like old friends. “Still in New York City? I feel like I haven’t seen you around here a lot lately.”

“Yeah, just outside of the city.” he nods and gives you a small wink, “I like to work closer to home now – when I’m working.”

“I see.” she says and crosses her arms. “You take a lot of time off nowadays I’ve heard. Still keeping one foot in the door, so to say.”

John nods and looks at you again, “Yeah, I have other things to focus on now. Better things.”

You shake your head at John, and he looks back at the doctor. He knows you’re upset and he’s trying to be as sweet as possible so you’re not mad. You’re not mad at him, you’re just…sad. No one wants to see someone they love this way.

“How are the kids?” John asks, wincing a little.

“They’re great, getting so big.” she says and reaches into her bag to pull out some gloves, “I hate it. I don’t want my babies to leave me.”

“Your youngest is ten, right?” he asks, and she nods. “Well, you still got her for a few more years.”

“That’s true, but she’s all sass right now. I hate it.”

“So, she’s like her mom?” he teases, and she rolls her eyes.

“Take off your pants.” she gestures for John to stand up, and you reach out for his hands. She looks around at Jimmy and Tess and smiles, “You got a few friends here with you, John.”

“Yeah, that’s my friend, Jimmy, and his wife, Tess.” John rests his hands on your shoulders as you unbuckle his belt, and he tries to fight the smile spreading across his face as he watches you. He kisses your forehead as you struggle with his belt, and you close your eyes for a moment, feeling the warmth from his lips on your forehead. His thumb is on your cheek wiping away the tear that’s slowly falling, and he kisses your forehead again.

You let out a small whimper when you see the glass in his leg as you carefully start to pull his pants off, trying your best to avoid it and not cause any further injury. The problem is you know he’s going to need to bend his knee a little to get out of his pants.

“We should have just cut your pants.” you whisper, looking down at his leg.

“I like these pants.” John says, hoping to make you laugh as you kneel in front of him.

You look up at John as he watches you, and you frown, using the back of your hand to wipe away the tears on your cheek, “This might hurt a little bit, okay, baby? But I’m going to need you to just bend your knee so I can get these off.”

“Okay.” he says quietly, then he takes a deep breath.

Placing your hand on the back of his knee, you help him bend his leg just enough to tug his pants off, but your hand is covered in even more blood as a result. You look up at John as he squeezes his eyes shut and clenches his jaw.

From what you can tell, the cut is deep and rigid, and he’ll probably need quite a few stitches. It’s still bleeding quite heavily, and you’re hoping the doctor will get it stitched up quickly. Your mom was a nurse for your entire childhood, so you’d know how to clean his wounds, but stitching him up? You have no idea where you’d even start.

The room has fallen silent as you help John, and you hear Jimmy clear his throat so everyone turns their attention away from you.

“Hi, I’m Irene.” the doctor says, reaching out to shake their hands. “Have you two known John for long?”

Jimmy sits down in the chair next to her and smiles, “Yeah, I’ve known John for quite a few years.”

Tess shakes her head and sits down on the bed, “I just met John last fall. It’s been a whirlwind getting to know him, but he’s a good guy. I love him! He’s a great guy for my sister.”

“He is a great guy.” Irene nods, then looks at you as you help John on the bed. “And who is this? The sister, I assume.”

“This…” John grabs your wrist to stop you from standing up, and he pulls back down to sit with him and he smiles wide, “This is Y/N, my fiancee.”

“Your fiancee?” she asks in disbelief, and she immediately reaches out to shake your hand, “Hi!”

When you reach out for her hand, you see yours is still covered in blood and you start to tear up, “I’m…so sorry.” you take several breaths and look up at her again, reaching out to shake her hand with your left hand instead, “Hi.”

“Oh, she is sweet, John. And that ring! Wow!” she says, and you look down at John as he grins from ear to ear. She looks down at his leg and sucks in a breath, “Looks nasty, but we’ll get him fixed up and he’ll be fine. Nothing life threatening. Okay?”

“Okay.” you nod and smooth John’s hair out of his face, “Are you comfortable? Do you need a pillow? Maybe some water?”

John shakes his head and smiles, “Nope.”

“I’ll be right back.”

You quickly get up from the bed and head for the bathroom, then you lean back against the door and press a towel to your mouth as you begin to sob. You’re hoping that the four of them are talking so they can’t hear you as you cry.

“Fuck.” you whisper quietly, swallowing hard and trying to calm yourself down. “He’s okay, he’s here, he’s alive.”

You head for the sink and wash the blood off your hands, watching it disappear down the drain. Irene must have pulled the glass out of John’s leg since you hear him swear loudly, and you squeeze your eyes closed, praying like hell this is all just some bad dream.

You had a bad feeling tonight wasn’t going to end as well as you wanted. You got your hopes up when John texted and said he’d be home sooner. You’re not mad at John for taking a job, and if you’re mad at anyone, you’re mad at yourself. You told him to take a job, and now you’re kicking yourself more than ever for it.

You wet a washcloth with warm water and add a small amount of soap to it, then head back out to clean John up. When you open the door, you see Jimmy and Tess standing and waiting to say goodnight.

“We’re going to our room. If you need anything at any time, let me know.” Tess says, reaching out to hug you. She squeezes you in her arms and leans back to tap you on the nose, “I love you.”

“Love you.” you say, and Jimmy reaches out to hug you and kiss the top of your head. “Thanks for trying to distract me tonight. It did help…for a bit.”

“Hey, it’s the least I could do.” he looks over his shoulder at John and laughs when John waves at the three of you. Jimmy looks back at you as you wipe away your tears. “He’s going to be fine.”

“Yeah.” you sniffle and exhale loudly as you walk back over to John.

John begins to cough, and he shakes his head as you walk over to the fridge to get him something to drink. He never knows how to just let someone cater to him. You sit down on the bed next to him, giving him a weak smile, and you help him sit up a little so he can take a drink of water. Almost without taking a breath, he finishes the bottle of water, then lays back down.

“I got something to clean off your face…and your body. I had blood on my hands and it’s all over your arms now.”

“Thanks.” he laughs and cups your face, wiping the tear off your cheek with his thumb, “You look beautiful tonight.”

“You look like shit.” you laugh, then immediately feel bad. “Sorry.”

“Gonna say you told me so?” he whispers, still cupping your face.

“No,” you chuckle, holding up John’s arm to wipe away the bloody hand print you left. You carefully clean the cuts on John’s face and give him a small smile, “Just happy to see you’re in one piece.”

Irene is cleaning off John’s leg and she sighs, “He got you a few times. Not too deep though, except for where he left the glass. You need to be careful with this leg, John. There is so much scarring here. Clearly you’ve been stabbed one too many times here.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, “They tend to go for the same spot now.”

Irene looks up at John and sighs, “They know it’s a weak spot.”

John looks at you again and sees you looking at his leg as you fight back more tears. He cups your face in his hand again and pats your cheek, “Hey.”

“What?”

“Gimme a kiss, I missed you.” he says, then he pulls you down to kiss him and he smiles when you sit back up, “How was your night?”

“Jonathan, I…” you gesture to him on the bed and shake your head, “You’re laying here with glass in your leg and you’re wondering how my night went?”

“Well, the glass isn’t in my leg anymore, and yeah.” he laughs and reaches for your hand, “What did you three do? Oh, did you like that restaurant?”

You rub your temples and laugh, “You are unbelievable.”

“He is.” Irene laughs and looks up at him, “One of my first nights working here, I got a call about someone who had gotten shot, so I made my way up here. I had heard about John Wick before, but I hadn’t met him yet.”

You look at her as she stops working on John’s leg and she sits back in her chair, getting comfortable to tell her story. You’re a bit shocked that John doesn’t seem to be in any pain whatsoever. He keeps a tight grip on your hand and he rubs his thumb over your engagement ring, and you smile to yourself a little.

“I got up here and knocked on the door, John answered and I was just…in awe.” she looks at you and smiles, “Everyone says how scary John is – and trust me, he is. I’ve seen it. But when I came up here, I had no idea what this guy was going to look like. I had all the stereotypical bad guy images in my head – not that he's a bad guy, of course – but the way people talk about him, I had a whole different image in my head. Anyway, when he opened the door, well, to be quite honest, I nearly fainted. He’s very handsome.”

“He is.” you smile and look down at John as his cheeks grow red.

“Don’t worry, I’m happily married. Twenty five years.” she says, pointing at her ring. “And yes, it’s possible. Anyway, I got up here and John immediately asked if I wanted anything to drink, wanted me to be comfortable. It took him all of two minutes to figure out that I was pregnant. I was hardly even showing at the time, it was my first baby.”

“Looking back now, that was probably incredibly rude of me. I’m so sorry.” he laughs, and she taps his arm.

“I thought it was sweet.” she looks back at you and smiles, “I got the bullet out, stitched him up, and talked his ear off the whole time – I was very nervous. And now, well, it’s been so long, John and I have gotten to know each other pretty well. Well enough, I suppose. I know he isn’t much of a talker to some people, so it was nice that he did talk to me.”

“Well, your hands were shaking and you had to pull a bullet out of my stomach, so yeah, I thought I’d talk to you to calm you down.” John laughs and looks over at Irene, “I just kept hoping like hell you knew what you were doing.”

Irene tilts her head back and laughs, “Yeah, I did, but god, I was nervous. Not only because you’re so damn handsome, but because you’re…”

You smile and lean closer to John’s face, “Baba Yaga.”

“I mean, I’m the doctor here, so I’m off limits, but sometimes some of these people aren’t as kind as John is. John is just so different from a lot of these people here, he doesn’t flaunt it in your face that he’s John Wick. He doesn’t expect special treatment, he’s just a really, really good guy.” she looks down at John, then up at you, “I see why you’re so in love with him, he’s a gem.”

You nod, “He is.”

She starts to work on John’s leg again and he winces a little as she stitches it up. He looks up at you, and you smile as you wipe off the rest of the blood on his face.

“There.” you whisper and lean down to kiss him again, “I’ll grab some bandages later, but for now, that’s much better. They’re not bleeding, so I think you’re good for now.”

John cups your face in both of his hands and pulls you down to lay next to him, “So, how was your night?”

“It was fine, the restaurant was really good. I brought home my leftovers for you. Some pasta, oh, and I made sure to get some extra breadsticks for you.”

John closes his eyes and clenches his fist, “Yes!”

“Jimmy found a karaoke bar somehow, and of course, made an absolute fool out of himself.” you look up at John, and he kisses your forehead, “Then we went to a tattoo parlor.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” you laugh and sit up a little, “Jimmy got a tattoo for Tess.”

“Did you get one?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

You know you can’t just lift up your shirt and show John right now, so you decide to lie. “No,” you shake your head and smile, “Thought about it.”

You lay on your stomach next to John, and he brushes your hair out of your face as his gaze falls from your eyes to your lips, then back to your eyes. He wants to kiss you. Maybe he doesn’t know it, but he tends to do that a lot when he wants to kiss you. You pucker your lips and lean down to kiss John, then you press your lips to his cheek.

“I’m sorry. I should have listened to you.” he whispers, and you shake your head, trying to stop him from apologizing. “You had a bad feeling – a gut feeling – I should have listened to it.”

“It’s okay.” you lean in to kiss John several times, maybe a little too passionately since it’s not just the two of you in the room. You sit back up and rub your thumb over his beard, “It’s okay, Jonathan.”

Irene is staring at you and John, and she shakes her head when you look up at her, “I’m sorry. I’ve just…never seen John like this. It’s nice.”

“I hear that a lot.” you say, holding tight to John’s hand, “That people have never seen John like this.”

“He’s so…guarded and quiet when he’s here, keeps to himself a lot of the time.” she says, wrapping a bandage around John’s leg, “You might catch him in the bar just grabbing a drink, but he’s usually just in his room, keeping to himself. Like I said, he talked to me and he opened up a little to me, but it was vague stuff.”

“Yeah, I got the vague stuff at first, too.” you laugh.

“But you stuck around long enough for him to finally trust you. You’re here, so you’ve accepted him for him.” she says, then gestures to John’s leg, “This isn’t an easy thing to deal with, and I’d say you did pretty well.”

“She did great.” John says, kissing your hand.

You scoff and roll your eyes, “Yeah, I guess if you consider having a meltdown in the bathroom great, then yeah, I did great.”

“I always told John he needed to leave this stuff behind. After all he’s been through, he needs a quiet life – he deserves it.” she says, looking back and forth between the two of you, then she looks at John and smiles, “What did I tell you the last time I saw you?”

John laughs quietly and sits up a little, “You told me that I needed quit working or else I’d get myself killed.”

“And…”

“And that I needed to find a nice girl and settle down again.” John says, rubbing his thumb over the apple of your cheek, “Maybe start a family.”

Irene starts to pack her things in her bag, and you help John move back in the bed more, then you grab the blankets from the floor to cover him up. She leans down, patting John’s cheek and points at you, “You have a good one here, you better not let her go.”

“I don’t plan on it.” he says, squeezing your hand in his.

“I’ll be right back.” you kiss John on the cheek and walk with Irene to the door, “Thank you so much, sorry I was a mess. I’m not – well, actually I’m usually a mess when it comes to John.”

She laughs and reaches out to touch your shoulder, “That’s okay, he needs someone to look after him. He got a bit reckless there for a moment, but he seems like he’s doing well.”

“Yeah.”

She reaches into her bag and pulls out a bottle of pills, then hands them to you, “Make sure he takes these. He never listens to me when I try to give them to him, but I figured he’ll listen to you. This will help with any pain he might have. He’ll definitely need one tonight. Knowing John, he’ll plan on walking around on it all day with no medication, so I’m hoping you can convince him to take them.”

“Just the whole pill? With food?”

“Yes, and preferably with food otherwise he’ll get a stomach ache. He needs to take one in the morning and one at night. He might get a little drowsy after, so make sure he’s not driving.” she says and opens the door, “I know you will, but…take good care of him.”

“I will.” you smile, tearing up.

She reaches out to touch your shoulder again and she smiles, “He deserves you.”

Walking back into your room, you chuckle to yourself, “I feel like I just got your mother’s approval. She told me that you deserve me.”

John laughs quietly, “Irene is a good egg. She’s always been nice to me.”

You see John flipping through the TV, and he smiles wide when he looks at you until you hold up the bottle of pills. “You’re taking these.”

John shakes his head, “No.”

You let out a laugh and grab the bloody towels on the floor, “What are you? Five years old?”

John winces as he sits up, and he watches you clean the droplets of blood he’s left on the floor, “You don’t have to do that. I can call someone to clean it up. Baby, don’t do that. STOP!”

“What?” you look up at him and shake your head, “Don’t yell, Tess and Jimmy are sleeping.”

“You don’t want to look at my blood all over the floor. I don’t want you to look at my blood all over the floor.”

“It’s okay.” you wave John off and finish cleaning it up, then throw the towels in the washer and head back over to John, “I like having a washing machine in here. They don’t have those in New York, do they?”

“No.” John shakes his head and watches you crawl back into bed next to him, “Plus this is the nicest room here, so it’s quite a bit bigger than the others.”

“Oh, yes, the benefits of being John Wick.” you look at John and scratch your fingers over his chest, “So, aside from getting stabbed in the leg, how was work?”

“It was fine.” he holds up his phone and frowns, “It’s broken.”

“What?” you take his phone from him and see the screen is shatters to bits. “Oh, well, that’s not good.”

John pulls you to sit between his legs, then he leans forward to kiss you, “I’ll just get a new one when I get home. The only people who call me are all here with me anyway. Oh, fuck…”

You look up at John and widen your eyes, “What?”

“All my pictures.” he tilts his head back against the headboard and sighs, “All my pictures of my girl, all my pictures of me and my girl!”

You chuckle softly and cup his face, “It’s fine. We’ll go tomorrow and get you a new phone. They're backed up on your phone, so all we have to do is get a new phone. It's fine.”

Your attention is pulled down to John’s leg, and you sigh as you lightly rub your thumb over the bandage.

“I’m okay.” he says as you stare at the bandage on his leg, “Hey, look at me. I’m fine. I like having you here, by the way. I liked coming back and knowing you’d be here.”

“What if I wasn’t?”

“Well, where else would you be?” he laughs and pulls your legs around his waist, trying to avoid his bandage, “If you came here with me again, you’d be here by yourself unless you brought Tess, which I’d be fine with.”

“I know, but what would have happened if I wasn’t here when you got back? You would just sit in the hallway until I got back here?”

“Yeah, or I’d call you and tell you that you needed to come back…when you’re ready. I don’t mind waiting.” he smiles.

“Your phone is wrecked, so you wouldn't have been able to call me. You don't even know my number by heart.” you say, and John immediately rattles off your phone number. You rub your hands over your face and sigh, “You would have died.”

“I would not have died. You’re being dramatic now.” John pulls you into his chest and laughs, “I love having you here. I like coming back and knowing if I had a shitty day, you’re here to make it better. Holding you after a really bad day is the only thing that makes me feel better sometimes.”

“Okay, well, now you’re being really sweet so maybe I’m changing my mind. I’ll think about it.” you say, and John laughs as he squeezes you tighter. His hand is right over your tattoo, and it hurts. “Ouch.”

“Too hard? Sorry, I missed you a lot, and I haven’t had a chance to really hug or kiss you.” he says, leaning forward to kiss you. He hums obnoxiously against your lips and closes his eyes as he tilts his head back, “So good.”

You laugh at John as you get off the bed to grab the pills Irene gave you, “You’re taking these.”

John pouts a little, and you know he’s hoping you’ll give in to him. You roll your eyes and grab a bottle of water from the fridge and walk over to John.

“You pouting is not going to change my mind. I know you’re in pain.” you say, handing John the pill and water.

He sighs loudly and takes a big gulp of water, then opens his mouth to show you that he’s swallowed the pill. “Thanks, Doc.”

“You know I’m just looking out for you. I don’t want you in pain.” you grab some crackers and hand them to John, “You have to eat too, otherwise you’ll get an upset stomach from the pills.”

“Now I know how you feel.”

“No,” you shake your head and sit on the end of the bed, “You are ten times worse. You practically shoved a sandwich down my throat once.”

John laughs loudly and even though he has cuts scattered all over his face, he’s still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. He looks down at your nightgown and frowns dramatically.

“I know, I changed into my pajamas when we got back here. I figured you’d text me when you were on your way home and I’d have enough time to…well, take my clothes off.” you laugh and look down at your sweater, “Then I got cold, so…”

“Well, are you cold now?” John asks, reaching for your hands, “You can take your clothes off now…”

“John, no.” you laugh, shaking your head, “You just took that medicine, you’d fall asleep half way through.”

John shakes his head, “I think you’re underestimating how good you are.”

You roll your eyes and laugh, then you look over your shoulder to see Tess peeking around the corner.

“Hey,” she says quietly and takes a few steps in, “You okay, John?”

“Yeah,” he nods, waving her over and she sits on the bed next to him, “Thanks for earlier.”

She leans her head against his shoulder and sighs, “It was nothing.”

“I heard Jimmy got a tattoo for you.”

She looks up at you and you shake your head slightly, hoping she won’t tell John that you got one. She laughs and looks up at John, “Yeah, on his bicep. Pretty big, I was surprised.”

“What is it?”

Tess lets out a laugh and pulls out her phone to show John, “It’s a wolf, which is my favorite animal, but one side is all flowers. He’ll go back in a few months to get it colored.”

“He was pretty brave, I think he only swore a few times.” you laugh and move closer to John and Tess. She scoots over, and you squeeze between the two of them. “He did say he doesn’t understand how you have so many big ones on your back.”

John laughs and shrugs as he eats a cracker, “I got them so long ago, I can’t even remember what it felt like.”

“Okay, Old Man Wick.” Tess laughs as she wiggles down under the blankets, “What are we watching?”

You look over at Tess and laugh, “You have a TV in your room, and you have a husband in there.”

“Yeah, but he’s snoring.” she looks up at you and smiles, “Does John snore?”

You help John scoot down the bed and reach over him to turn off the lamp, “Sometimes.”

John looks at you and laughs, “Really? You’ve never said anything before.”

“Yeah, it’s really…breathy.” you say as Tess laughs. “It’s so cute. He’s a really quiet sleeper though, sometimes I gotta lean over and make sure he’s still breathing. Freaks me out. Sometimes when he gets home from a job and he’s really exhausted, he’ll actually snore a little louder, but I don’t mind that. I just turn our fan on louder to drown it out.”

“Well, he has to do something that you hate.” she says and rubs her stomach.

“Hmm,” you tilt your head back against the pillow as you think and tap your finger to your chin.

John laughs, “You have to think, so that makes me feel a little better.”

“He’s always really warm. But with summer, it sucks because it’s always so hot in our bed at night. I have a fan in my face always, which you know that, but we usually have the air really cold in the house now because well, this might come as a surprise, but…” you look at Tess and smile, “John is very clingy.”

Tess laughs and points at John’s arm over your waist, “I can see that.”

“So now I just sleep naked.” you smile at John and pucker your lips for a kiss, “No point in wearing clothes if I’m going to be waking up in the night just to take them off.”

“You are always really warm.” Tess says, reaching across you to feel John’s arm.

“He just radiates heat.”

“Well, now that’s just soft.” Tess says, then starts to laugh, “But what’s something that’s really annoying that he does?”

“He downplays a lot of things.” you say, and John looks down at you again.

“You answered that quickly, I’ll try not to be offended.”

You shrug and look back at Tess, “I hate how a situation is bad and he acts like it’s fine. Just earlier for example: he has glass in his leg, he’s trailing blood all through the room, and he just laughs and makes jokes.”

“Yeah, but he was doing that so you wouldn’t be any more upset, so that the situation wasn’t bad.”

You take a deep breath and exhale, “Yeah, but I’m seeing my fiance being carried to the bed because he can barely walk, he’s bleeding from his leg and has cuts scattered all over his face. The situation was as bad as it could get.”

“Could have been worse.” he says, kissing your forehead, “I could have been shot.”

You look up at John and give him a dirty look, “Why would you even say that?”

John wraps his arms around you and kisses your neck, tickling you with his beard, and you laugh as you squirm away from him. Tess is watching the two of you and she smiles when you look at her.

“What’s something she does that you hate, John? Any annoying habits?”

“When she gets out of the shower, she wrings her hair out on the carpet and without fail, I step in it with clean socks. We’ve had many discussions about that.” he laughs, shaking his head when you giggle a little, “She sometimes kicks me in her sleep. We’re lucky we have a king sized bed, but she’s usually curled into a ball next to me, which is pretty cute. I’ve found out that holding her, like spooning her, keeps her from kicking me though.”

“She does kick in her sleep! We shared a bed for a while when mom was redoing my room, and she just kicked me all night.” Tess laughs, “If only I knew you just needed to be spooned.”

“I think the most annoying thing she does though is just being so hard on herself. The way she talks to herself sometimes pisses me off. She puts herself down a lot, blames herself for things when something doesn’t go right.” he sighs and looks at you, “You’re the most amazing person I know, and I’m not just saying that as your fiance. I thought you were amazing before I even met you. And just like you’re helping me see that I’m a good man, I’m helping you see how amazing you are.”

“Okay,” Tess rolls her eyes, “You two are still being sweet to each other. Meanwhile I hate when Jimmy chews loudly, he leaves the toothpaste on the counter and I always end up sticking my hand in it. He does the stupid thing where he points at my shirt and says ‘what’s that?’ then he flicks my nose.”

“What a dad.” you laugh.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love him, and I wouldn’t trade him for anyone else. No matter what. He’s the one for me, but damn, he’s lucky I can actually handle him. You never could.”

You laugh loudly and look at Tess, “Good, because you and John would literally be like cats and dogs. You love each other like brother and sister, but you two would hate each other if you were actually like…together.”

“Whatever, we’d get along wonderfully.”

You look over at John as he slowly shakes his head, and you laugh again, “No. No offense, Tess, and I mean this is the nicest way, but you…are a brat.”

She opens her mouth to argue, then she laughs, “You are completely right.”

“I have a hard enough time with her.” John says, gesturing to you, “You would probably cause me to rip my hair out.”

Tess pulls back, offended, “Okay, I’m not that bad.”

John nods and smiles when he looks down at you, “Yeah, you’re just not…her.”

“I so badly wish I could be offended, but that was too sweet.” she says, snuggling down in the bed, “Oh, if you haven’t noticed, I’m sleeping in your bed.”

“We noticed.” you and John say at the same time.

You lay on your side to face John and you lean up to kiss him, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” he smiles, rubbing his thumb against your cheek.

“If you need anything in the night, just wake me up, okay?” you say, and John nods his head.

You know he won’t wake you up for anything, but he knows you’ll yell at him if he doesn’t. You lean up to kiss him again, and he cups your face to keep you in place as he deepens the kiss.

Tess groans, “Okay, I’m not sleeping in your bed if you’re going to be gross all night.”

“We don’t even want you in our bed.” you say, and Tess sits up to look at you.

“That’s incredibly rude, I am pregnant.” she says, dramatically.

“You know that excuse is going to run out eventually.”

Tess flops back on the bed and sighs, “Yeah, I know, but then I get to use the mom excuse.”

You and John laugh, and he leans down to kiss you again, then he reaches over and ruffles Tess’ hair, “Goodnight, Tess.”

“Night, Old Man Wick.” she says, closing her eyes.

You lean up to kiss John again, then you hold his gaze for a moment before he pulls you back to his lips for one final kiss goodnight. He finally closes his eyes and lets out a small breath as you rub your finger against his cheek and coax him to sleep.

You don’t plan on taking your eyes off of John tonight, but the warmth from his skin is soaking through your clothes and making you drowsy, and before you know it, your eyes flutter shut and you fall into a deep slumber as you and John cling to one another.

__

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[sammyhale]

J2 TorCon 2017 Main Panel

J2 jump onstage!

Jensen: Do you know what week it is?? We premiere this Thursday. 

Jensen is also talking about Jared being on Jimmy Kimmel this Thursday as well :)

“My dear friend Mr. Jared Padalecki will be on Jimmy Kimmel Thursday Oct 12th so tune in” - Jensen promoting Jared. Jared: Ackles warmed him up for me...so tune in guys, we’re gonna have some fun. Jensen: Yeah, it’ll be a big night. We’re very excited about it. 

What memory would Sam and Dean stick to if they died (like Bobby with his memory of the boys)? Jared mentions the flashbacks in Swan Song and the “I’m proud of us” moment. Jensen says a collection of good moments (bros reuniting, stuff with John, Mary, Bobby, Cas) but also those moments of killing big bads. 

What story would you extend/elaborate on? Jared says Demon!Dean and Soulless!Sam. Jensen: Dean in Purgatory. 

Fan mentions her Russian blue cat named Winchester. Jensen: It’s a blue cat from Russia. That’s all you need to know. 

Boys go off on accents and jokes. At one point, Jared says: “If there was a place in Toronto that served Vladimir Poutine I would totally go and take Winchester with me.” Jensen and the audience crack up. Jensen: That dude’s got a blue cat. And he’s eating poutine. 

Who would you vote as the most ditchable prom date of the cast? Jensen: Cas. Jared: Story-wise, probably Sam. This is gonna sound the wrong way, but, Sam probably should’ve ditched Ruby. Jared got the better end of the deal lol. 

Young fan says her name is Lilith. J2 very quickly back up and Jared knocks over his chair lol. She asks their favorite monster. Jared: I’m gonna say Lilith. Jensen: Me too, because if they’re all as cute as you, they’re my favorite. She says her fav monster is a ghost. J2 tell her that if she ever meets one, she should call her friends Sam and Dean. 

Fav childhood memory? Jensen: Very happy childhood, lots of good memories. For his fourth birthday he got to ride a horse for the first time. Wore his cowboy vest. Jared: He still has it. 

Jared: Now I feel weird about my answer! Broke his arm when he was seven and was in the hospital for a week, got spoiled in the hospital, getting candy, baseball cards...At the time, there was a rare card available where a player had written bad words on the bottom of his bat and the card company only realized it appeared in the image halfway through printing, so everyone was searching for the rare versions that had been printed. Jared’s dad would bring him a pack of baseball cards every day. 

If you could create an episode, what would it be. Jared: The world’s most boring episode. The boys doing their laundry. Wants to see Sam and Dean doing behind the scenes stuff. 

Jensen talks about a movie “Sliding Doors.” One choice that creates two split timelines and following both. Thinks that would be cool.

Advice for Sam and Dean in s13: Jensen: Knowing what I know, I would tell Dean not to jump to conclusions...talk amongst yourselves! Jared laughs. 

 Jared is trying so hard not to spoil anything: “I would say...not to get too attached. TALK AMONGST YOURSELVES.” 

Jared is doing accents. Jensen: Keep going you’re killing it. 

Fav part about working together? Jared: Days off. Jensen: Then we’re not working together. Both: TALK AMONGST YOURSELVES lmao. 

Jensen: There are a lot of things, but one of the best is that we laugh so much. In case you couldn’t tell. 

Jared talks about how it doesn’t feel like work, especially with the Sam and Dean scenes. 

J2 have spiraled into Coffee Talk impressions.

Any spoilers? Jensen: Prepare yourselves...for some interesting characters this season. Jared laughs and pretends to be shocked: I can’t believe you said that! Jared: New characters and you’ll see some fan favorites come back. 

If Sam and Dean could bring back one character? Crowd starts shouting names. Jensen: Did someone just say Jon Snow?  

Jensen: Would love to bring back Azazel...so I could kill him again. 

Jared chose Charlie, because she brings out a different side of the boys. Jensen adds Benny to the list, Jared also mentions Sully. 

Fan: Do you think Ruby will come back, mentions wanting Danneel on the show. Jared jokes that he would have to watch the kids and do the real work. Gen was able to come back for French Mistake but not sure if she’d be able to now. Jared agrees that he wants to see Danneel on the show, too. Jensen: She’s rockin’ three kids, too!

Jensen says that those decisions aren’t up to him. Says if they were the show would have been canceled a long time ago. Jared jokes about how if it was up to J2 they would just cast all of their friends. “Who’s that guy?”

Jared: What character would Danneel play? Audience shouts, Baby! Jensen: That could complicate things. Boys want to make a dirty joke but they cut themselves off lol. 

Someone in the audience is yelling out Garth. Boys can’t understand what they’re saying. Bunch of fans start yelling Garth, boys finally get it. Jared laughs and says it reminds him of Finding Nemo when the seagulls are saying “mine, mine, mine” over and over. He looked into the crowd and just saw a bunch of people going, “Garth, Garth, Garth” lmao. 

Jensen: If Danneel came on the show would you want her to be good or bad? Fan: Good. Jensen: But she plays bad so well. Jared nods. Jensen nods, goes to make a comment and cuts himself off lol. 

Fan: How does it feel to have fans like this? Jensen talks about how it took him awhile to really get it. Used to be more in his shell. Now he says it’s fuel for him seeing this kind of devotion. 

Jared is amazed at a fan’s incredible SPN body art. Boys are complimenting her on the amazing body art. 

Jared says don’t ever think that they think we’re “weird” for being too dedicated to the show. Because they are just as weird as us. Jared: If you’re crazy for spending 24 hours (on fan’s body art) then we’re crazy for spending 13 years. 

Fan: Was there a real Trickster, or was the lore about Gabriel? Jared thinks there was no Trickster, that it was just Gabriel hiding. 

Jared pronounced gif like jif. Jensen does not approve. Apologizes on his behalf for being silly lol. 

Any sport/activity you’ve always wanted to try? Jared mentions cricket, stunt driving courses...Jensen: Stunt driving is not a sport. Jared also mentions motocross. Doesn’t want to get himself hurt. Jensen: Kite surfing. Jensen says it needs to be a place without sharks. Fans: Great Lakes! Jensen: I don’t believe that. They’re in there. Just deep.

Funniest moment to film? Jensen: There are moments on a daily basis that make it impossible to film because they’re laughing. They mention the Chupacabra bit. 

Apparently Alex (who plays Jack) is like Misha 2.0 in terms of the boys messing with him lol :P J2M messed with Alex so bad the director, Nina Lopez-Corrado, actually kicked them off set. 

Jensen once told Jared to not speak in a scene so he didn’t mess around. Jared didn’t say a word and Jensen did his lines alone lol. 

Jensen says Jared can never get through telling a whole joke without busting out laughing before the punchline :P

Jared tries to make Jensen break during a scene, makes himself laugh and ruins the take even if Jensen is fine. 

Fan proposes Dark Angel crossover. Jensen thinks it would be neat, would want to recruit X5s to be on their side. 

If you had to live out a season of the show for a year, which season. Jared: Six, maybe?? At least I didn’t care, I was soulless. Also says season 9, maybe 10? Jensen: Season 4. Jared: What’d you do in four? Jensen: Nothing, that’s why I said four. 

Jensen is playing the keyboard for the last question. 

The fan is very flustered, it’s her first convention. Jared is comforting her. Jensen has been playing dramatic piano music all throughout the poor fan trying to get our the last question lol. The entire room is laughing and Jensen has not broken. The girl is overwhelmed and when Jared cuddles her to comfort her she pulled him into a hug aww lol. 

Question is about Adam’s whereabouts. She was a big fan of Adam’s and read a fan theory that maybe he got out of the cage. Jared: Now, to the cool stylings of Jensen Ackles...I think he’s in the cage. Fan joking around: Our half-brother’s in hell, let’s forget about him. Jared: Ehhh, yeah, it’s kinda true. But we do love Jake. 

Jared asks for Jensen’s opinion. Jensen, still playing: oooohh, yeaaaaahhhh.

Jensen snuck in a lower-back grab/pat on Jared as they headed offstage :)

Boys say thanks to the fans before taking off. 

Info via: Fangasm, Ally, Lysa, Tricia,  Sil’s livetweet list

[winchesterprincessbride]

Political Animals-Part 16-Epilogue

A/N: Well, kids…this is it..the end of the road. I am going to miss this story and these characters.  Thank you so much for your comments and your support. It’s been great. This should tie everything up and answer all your questions.-Jen

This is an A/B/O AU.  You are the Omega artist daughter of Naomi Novak, a world-class heart surgeon who is running for Mayor of New York City.  After a meeting where your mother’s advisers call you a “liability”, she tells you that if you don’t do as your told she will cut you off.  You storm out and wind up in a bar a few blocks away.

The hottest Alpha you have EVER laid eyes on with a scent so mouthwatering you’re practically drooling offers to buy you a drink.  It’s just a drink, right? What do you have to lose? Only everything.

Characters: Omega! Reader, Beta! Naomi Novak, Alpha! Castiel Novak, Omega! Meg Novak, Claire Novak, Jimmy Novak, Alpha! Sam Winchester, Alpha! Dean Winchester, Alpha! John Winchester, Omega! Jo Harvelle

Big thanks to @moansmisha  for letting me use some of her ideas from this post.

Master List

Part 1 (all parts are linked)

Parts in bold are text messages

Charlie and Mary Winchester entered the world on Election Day, eight weeks early.  Despite being born premature, they weighed in at a respectable 5 lbs 5 oz, and 5 lbs 3 oz.

I had passed out in front of the motel where my father was holding me from a combination of extreme shock and pain. It turns out I had been having back labor all day and I didn’t know it.  Mary was breech and showing signs of distress and my blood pressure was through the roof so they knocked me out and did an emergency c-section.

When I woke hours later groggy from the anesthesia the first face I saw was Sam’s.

“Hurts,” I whispered, my throat sore from the breathing tube.  

“I know Sweetheart. They had to do a C-section.”

“Babies?” I croaked.

Sam grinned at me. “They are fighters just like their mom. They’ll be in the NICU for awhile, but they are doing great.”

I was struggling to stay awake, but the effects of the anesthesia pulled me under and my eyes slipped closed before I could ask about my mother.

When I woke again, Sam and Cas were in my room. They both looked exhausted.

“Hey, guys…” I said quietly, my voice still hoarse.

Both of them jumped to their feet at the sound of my voice. Cas reached me first. He looked horrible. His hair was a mess, his eyes were red-rimmed, and he looked as though he hadn’t slept in days.

“Cas is Mom okay? I heard a shot right before I passed out.”

He took a deep breath, glancing over at Sam who nodded slightly. “The gun went off accidentally when Mom and Greg were fighting for it. She was hit in the chest. It pierced her aorta. She’s…..she’s gone…..Y/N.” Tears slid down Cas’ face, and he turned away in an effort to try and compose himself.

“And my father?” I said in an emotionless voice.

Sam placed a hand on Cas’ shoulder and answered me since my brother seemed unable to speak. “When your father saw what had happened, he couldn’t handle it. He turned the gun on himself.  I’m so sorry, Baby.”

“No! Mom can’t be dead!” I wailed. “She can’t be! She was protecting me! She was distracting him because she knew I was in labor and I needed a C-section! He wouldn’t let me go to the hospital! She was protecting me! She did it for me!” I collapsed into sobs, burying my face into Sam’s chest.  He held me until I calmed down.

I held out a hand to Cas, and he took it. “She told him she wouldn’t allow the lives of her grandchildren to be put at risk over a silly vendetta.  She got right in his face, then she told me to run.  I owe my life to her.” Cas and I hugged for a long moment, both of us lost in our own memories of the proud, brave, complex woman that was Naomi Novak.

3 months later

Many things had changed since the tragic events of Election Day.  Tomorrow John Winchester would be inaugurated as the new mayor of New York City.  John’s reputation for honesty and integrity had really resonated with voters, and he had won the election by a large margin. I knew he would do a great job.

The twins did surprisingly well for being born almost two months early.  The doctor said they were huge for preemies, and when he finally saw Sam he understood why. They spent two weeks in the NICU and came home without any problems.

 Charles Castiel Winchester and Mary Naomi Winchester are the most beautiful babies I have ever seen, but I may be a little biased. Now we just need to get them on the same sleep schedule! 

My mother was hailed as a heroine for saving my life and the lives of my babies.  The hospital where she worked was expanding, and there was talk of naming a wing in her honor.

Dean had proposed to Jo a month after Election Day.  He said that everything that had happened made him realize how things could change in an instant and he didn’t want to waste another minute.  They were planning a winter wedding and Jo had asked me to be her maid of honor.

Sam and I quickly realized that the brownstone was too small for our growing family.  We are planning on putting it on the market and moving to Long Island.  I wanted a house with a yard for the kids, a room I could turn into an art studio for me, and an office for Sam.

We had left very early for the inauguration because Sam knew there was a stop I wanted to make first.  Cas and Meg had offered to keep the twins overnight so that we could attend the ball tonight, and we jumped at the chance.

“A night of uninterrupted sleep!” I said longingly.

Sam gave me that look I knew so well.  “Oh, I don’t plan on sleeping.”

When we arrived, Sam stopped the car and looked at me.  “Do you want me to come with you?” He asked.

“No, I’d like to go alone if that’s okay.”

I got out of the car and walked the short distance to my mother’s grave. I laid the bouquet of pink roses on the ground in front of the marker.  They were her favorite.  “Hi, Mom.  Today John is being sworn in as mayor.  I know how much you wanted the job.  But my babies wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for your sacrifice.   I will make sure Mary knows what a strong woman her grandmother was. Despite our ups and downs, I know you loved me.”

Wiping the tears from my eyes, when I returned to Sam I was smiling.

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[glitteryrunawaytrash]

So I've been on an Ellen Paige Movie Binge and I just want to raise you this: Vanya is the actress in the family. She never wrote the book and she's moved on from Hargreeves' bullshit.

She has a fanbase now, does interviews with Ellen, the Jimmys, Conan, etc. She's happy, sure she wished she could have a better relationship with her siblings, wished that Allison could have been the one to be the star like she had wanted at 13, but Vanya was the one that somehow made her way to stardom.

Her siblings had each other (to be honest she didn't know, she left at 17 and never looked back except to send invitations as her plus one to red carpets or events to the house). Vanya had fame and even a small group of friends that she met through work. Vanya was no longer ordinary.

Vanya wished she could have gotten her siblings out from under Hargreeves' thumb. She wished she had gotten over her bitterness earlier, realised that despite the negligence the whole family had towards her, her siblings weren't completely at fault for that.

She had called the house years ago, on their 24th birthday. She didn't know if any of them would still be there. Grace had answered and had seemed so excited to hear Vanya's voice. Apparently Luther and Allison had stayed and smuggled Vanya's movies into the mansion to watch with Grace and Pogo. Vanya was a bit embarrassed to admit that she had teared up. She had wanted to talk to her two siblings but Grace said that they had gone out to meet up with Diego to celebrate. Their father apparently had given up sending them to missions so now they led their life but Luther and Allison didn't want to leave Grace and Pogo alone.

Vanya had left her address and her number with Grace, then she went out and bought some gifts for her siblings and sent them to the mansion. She never really got responses back as long as she knew they were okay she was fine.

She hired a private investigator to find Klaus and then hired people to make sure he wasn't harmed. She knew she couldn't make him stop doing drugs, or come home or even go live with her. He had to make that choice on his own, but she'd rather go back to being Ordinary Vanya than have her brother on the streets without some sort of protection.

She missed Ben and Five. The two brothers that were the nicest to her. She always takes a moment to remember them everyday. That wherever they are they don't feel pain or any negative feeling they experienced while in the Umbrella Academy. Well, she at least hoped that Ben had the patience to deal with Klaus and his horrible coping mechanisms.

And so Vanya kept up with her career, she started feeling lighter and lighter, she was seeing a therapists and working through her emotions. She had stopped taking the pills Hargreeves had prescribed for her and the first time she had noticed a hint of her powers had been pretty ugly. After the initial shock, however, she shrugged it off and tried to learn to control them slowly. She didn't care about powers anymore.

When Hargreeves died and she walked across the front door was like a release of tension. This was her final goodbye to the son of a bitch that made her and her sibling's childhood hell, tried to break her down and mold her into an empty shell of a person, ridden with insecurities. What she didn't expect however, was the animosity Diego had towards her.

"Ah there she is! Our little Shining Star! You don't belong here, Vanya. Not after you left." Vanya had hidden the hurt, and rolled her eyes. She strutted up to Allison with a soft smile that her sister returned. They hugged and Vanya heard Diego scoff and head upstairs. Allison reassured her that she was welcome and that Diego just didn't know how to act around her.

Her and Allison Spoke for a bit, catching up and Allison asking her so many questions about being famous, how it was to live life outside of the mansion walls. Vanya had hinted that maybe she could pull a few strings and get Allison a small part and see for herself. Allison shook her head, "No, me and Luther were thinking about turning this place into a foster home and help kids who dealt with abuse from their guardians."

Vanya loved the sound of that. She hoped it went well, she'd be more than willing to help out whenever she can. Eventually Luther showed up to say hello to Vanya and gave her a heartfelt hug. Vanya was surprised, it wasn't as if Luther had ever been more than distantly polite to her when he wasn't bringing her down as children.

"Vanya, I'm sorry for being an asshole to you growing up, I should have been a better brother." Luther smiled at her, albeit sad. Vanya shook her head and hugged him again.

Then she heard a very dramatic gasp, "Look at her! She's famous now and she still dresses like a chic hobo." Vanya turned and grinned at her brother. "Hey! I'll have you know that this outfit drives the ladies crazy."

Klaus pulled her into a hug. "Thanks for looking out for me, sis. Ben says that your little care-takers you hired for me make his life easier, which is silly of him because, well, you know." He pouted at her. Vanya rolled her eyes and decided to take the plunge. "Come back with me, Klaus. Where your sense of fashion won't be so underappreciated."

He clicked at her and patted her head. "I can't do that to you, you have such a lovely reputation." She didn't feel hurt, he wasn't ready yet. They all convened into the livingroom when all of a sudden a blue light flashed outside.

Vanya couldn't believe her eyes. The brother that had gone missing for 17 years was back, looking the same as she had last seen him. She heard Klaus ask if anyone else was seeing this and then Five curse. Yup, that summed it up.

Five was just as confused as them. At first he didn't believe them when they said they were his siblings just 17 years older, but seeing as how everything else was basically the same he acquiesced. To Five, he had just left the table to try jumping through time and then he was here, 17 years in the future.

He obviously had questions. He complimented Vanya on her confidence and career when he found out. He was more than a bit unimpressed to see that the siblings had more or less disbanded the academy, complimented Klaus' skirt and he mourned Ben's death.

Vanya felt a headache come on when she realised she would have to call her manager to cancel her reservations to events and roles. She might be here longer than expected.

[beapositiveimpact]

Lights And Shadows (pt 3)

In a small dark apartment just down the peninsula from the city, a woman is rolling over onto her side under her pale blue blanket. She silently looks toward the foot of the bed where there is an older man, in his 60s, getting dressed. After he puts his shoes on, he reaches into his pocket and pulls a wad of twenty dollar bills out and puts them on the dresser. "As usual, that was real nice, Shauna. Don't sleep the day away. I don't know if I can see you next week as my wife's nosey mother will be visiting with us for a few days. But I'll get ahold of you before the holidays start up." And he walks out the door, back to his boring suburban life, leaving Shauna to her very different life, full of self discovery and frustrating johns. Shauna sits up and looks towards the door for a moment and then at the cash for services rendered. She wraps the blanket around her and gets up to make a fresh pot of coffee on the electric burner that substitutes for a stove. "Not if I get money for airfare to get out of this town first." She counts the cash to herself, "Damn, barely enough for rent for this little cave and a lunch special at the burger joint." She let's out a low sigh while glancing out the window, "Looks like more rain." She wipes a tear, trades the blanket for her pink terry cloth robe then pours herself a cup of strong black coffee and starts her day. Another day, another dollar or less. It's a good thing that Jimmy is a natural at sales, his commissions more than make up for lack of hours on the sales floor. It doesn't hurt that even on his worse days, he can put aside the pain in his personal life and turn on the charm. When he was in school, his aspirations were to be a famous jazz musician. His room was always cluttered with keyboards, guitars, percussion instruments, whatever he could get his hands on that made music. During his senior year in college, money was really tight and he had to slowly sell each instrument and a month before graduation he was offered a sales position in a higher end shoe department at a clothing store near Union Square. It was only a matter of time before he was talked into working at Macy's on Union Square. He always enjoyed talking about fashion to women. Most of his friends growing up have been the girls of the neighborhood. Plus, he was tired of living on macaroni and cheese and tuna. Since then, he's become one of the top sellers in the department. The floor of the store is mostly designer and trendy women's clothing and his department is on the opposite end of purses so he can easily watch the women who come in from their tourist busses or over from downtown, or Pacific Heights, to shop for a specific outfit or two. Well, a girl has to have the right shoes for the occasion and Jimmy is just the one to sell the ideal pair and then point them in the direction of the perfect accessories. This encourages his coworkers in nearby departments to send him customers just as often. One of the salesmen in an adjoining department, selling the higher end trendy, is Blake. Jimmy and Blake never talk much. They're cordial and often send a customer to the other to get something that matches perfectly. Blake is maybe a year or two younger than Jimmy. He has wavy hair like Jimmy's but lighter, a dirty blonde, and cut very short on the sides. The single big wave he keeps long in front swoops down to almost touch his round tortoise shell glasses. They frame pale greenish-gray eyes that are complimented by his round boyish cheeks and big, bright smile that always has a hint of mischief. As Jimmy is bagging up some of the more expensive pairs of pumps, in three colors, for a stylish woman in her 50s, Blake quietly walks into Jimmy's department. She's dressed in a navy pinstriped blazer and skirt with an ivory colored silk dress shirt and a modest length pearl necklace with a tear-shaped opal hanging from it. Her shoulder length hair that has just a hint of gray is styled reminiscent of Mary Tyler Moore. The woman is clearly an executive from the financial district. Blake overhears the conversation between Jimmy and his appreciative customer. "Thanks for visiting us again and I know you're going to love those. The heel might look a little high but the shoe is so well made you won't feel any bit uneasy. And if you need any stretching to soften the leather on the red pair before your event don't hesitate to bring them by." "Oh Jimmy, you're such a dear. What would us old socialites do without you? Are you sure you can't meet my niece when she's in town in December? I just know the two of you would get along fine. Maybe you can take her to one of those AIDS dance-athons that you've told me about in the past. You do still go to those?" "Well, it's been a while since I've been to one. I've been taking a little break from things lately. Besides Mrs. Masden, you know I can't date a customer. Macy's wouldn't approve. But thank you so much." " I understand how we have to all dance to the tune of our employees. Mine definitely do. Even when it's a silly policy. And as for taking a break from things, don't take too long. The world needs your kind heart and big smile. Anyways, thank you again and I'll let you know how the burgundy ones work for the reception next week. I'm sure I'll be in at least one more time before the holiday madness starts. Till next we meet darling boy." "Yes, let me know, thank you. And don't behave yourself." As Blake comes up from behind, "Oh, Blake, you're off already? It's only 9." "I won a bet with a coworker so he's covering my last hour. I was watching you work that last one. Boy, am I glad you like it in shoes." "That's Mrs. Masden. She's a regular. By day, she runs a job agency downtown. By night, she's a busy Pacific Heights socialite. I think she holds two dinner parties a week, and always for some big cause or another." "What was that about her niece?" "Apparently, her niece, who is studying to be a doctor in the east coast, is coming to visit and Mrs. Masden is trying to fix us up." "For what? I mean, you're not nearly as nelly as most of the queens around here but she can tell you're queer, right?" "No idea. And thanks for reaffirming my masculinity." "Sure, anytime Mister. So, what are you doing tonight after your shift? I was going to Tower Records for the new Cocteau Twins compilation. Maybe you can join me at Cafe Flor for some wine and check it out together." "Umm..." "Come on, how long have we been working practically right next to each other and never hung out?" "I appreciate the offer, I do. But times are a little tough for me right now. And, besides, shouldn't you be going home to your boyfriend?" "He's the one that suggested I should get to know you. And, besides, he is busy with work this weekend." "Oh, I didn't know you guys were in an open relationship." "Yes, it's something we do so we don't get too needy with each other." " I guess that makes sense. If it works for you two." "So, see you around 10:00? Its not anything serious that I'm asking you out to. Let's just hang out, have a few drinks, talk music..." "Well, I did promise someone that I'd get out more. Okay. I'll try to finish up and get out of here a little early. It's been a little slow with the rain so that shouldn't be too hard." "It's never too hard for me." "What?" "Nothing. See you at the Cafe. If you do get there before 10, poke into Tower. I might still be in either the Goth section or the Classical section if I lose track of time. And I usually do." "I know how that is. I do it all the time in music stores and bookstores. Sure, I'll see you around that time." Jimmy gives a little wave to Blake as he walks towards the door and a group of trendy teenaged girls wander into his department. "Well, this will take up the next hour," he mumbles to himself before he turns back around, smiles and approaches them. An hour later, Jimmy is in the Castro and rushing in the rain over to Tower Records. Just as he's about to pass the entrance to Cafe Flor, Blake jumps out in front of him. Jimmy, who hates being late and is rushing, doesn't even notice him until he bumps into him. "Oops, sorry sir. Oh, it's you." Blake gives him a quick hug. "That's okay. You can bump into me anytime you like." "Haha. Were you waiting long? I got busy right after you left and could barely get them to leave to close up on time." "I've just been here long enough to get a glass of their merlot. It's not the greatest but it's not horrible. Want to try a glass? Or are you a beer and pretzels kind of guy?" Blake leads Jimmy over to one of the tables on the side of the cafe that is covered but away from the more crowded tables. "This is my favorite spot in the the city for people watching. Let me buy this round." "Thanks, they have a nice sangria. I tried it when Drew and I came here once," as he's setting his backpack down on the wooden bench alongside the glass front of the cafe and takes off his wet jacket and baseball cap. "And, if we get to a second round, it's on me." Sitting in that narrow section with the little row of white marble cafe tables between two windows overlooking Market Street, Blake and Jimmy start to talk about the day at work and the customers and coworkers. Then, Blake reaches into his leather shoulder bag and takes out his Walkman and the new cd he just purchased. He waves it in front of Jimmy's face a little, unwraps it eagerly and pops it into the player. "You must hear this," as he hands a pair of small headphones, that are little more than a flat curved wire between two round foam cushions, to Jimmy. "I give you the honors of hearing this first." "Don't you want to hear it too?" "It's a compilation of their imports and I have most of it. Besides I want to hear what you think of them. You have heard of the Cocteau Twins, right?" Jimmy puts on the small headphones as Blake presses the play button. The music starts with a drum machine and a guitar strumming very simple chords. A voice starts singing and Jimmy doesn't know what to make of this ethereal singer. The woman is singing in a soprano that floats over the instruments. And he doesn't have the vaguest idea what language she's singing in. But it's as if her voice is one more instrument in this new wave-ish space waltz. "I don't want to sound stupid but what language is she singing in?" "Who knows. I think she makes it up as she goes. What do you think?" "It's like nothing I've ever heard before. But I like it. There's something otherworldly and all so romantic about it." Nice description. People either love them obsessively or hate them. My partner hates that he can't understand what she's singing about. He wants words that he can sing along to. I think it's all of that Motown and r&b that he grew up listening to. He prefers that I play them on my headphones or when he's not home." "Really? It sounds like great music to make out to." "Think so? Maybe we can try that out later?" "Wow, you're incorrigible." "And you're irresistible." "Blake, it's only been a few months since I lost Drew. I'm not ready for anything heavy. I don't even know if I'll ever be." "Jimmy, you sweet boy, I'm not looking for anything more than a new friend and maybe a little action once in a while. I love my partner and I'd never leave him, not even for someone as adorable as you. But we rarely have sex so I'm free to get my needs met with other people. I hope that's not weird for you." "No. It's different. But it's not weird." They sit silently for a moment. Then Blake puts the earplugs back on Jimmy's head. "You keep listening and I'll go get you that sangria." "Thanks," Jimmy says as Blake gets up and starts walking toward the entrance. Jimmy hits play and thinks to himself as the singer starts up in her strange non-language, "Well, this is very different and maybe that's what I need. Something very different." When Blake returns with the sangria and another merlot for himself, they share the earplugs and listen to the rest of the Cocteau Twins. They also listen to a few bits and pieces from other CDs that Blake pulls out of his shoulder bag. "Want one of my designer cigarettes?" Blake asks as he pulls a silver antique cigarette case out. "They're very smooth." "I rarely smoke but sure, I'll try one." For another hour they sit under the awning, protected from the steady heavy downpour of rain that rarely happens in San Francisco, huddled together smoking, trying each other's drinks and listening to music. "So," Blake finally says, " tell me about yourself. Where did you grow up? What brought you to this wonderful city? How old were you when you came out?" "I'm from here. Grew up in the Mission." "Darling, no one is from here." I am. I grew up in the Mission with an aunt and about seven other kids that she raised. I guess I came out when I was twelve but I don't know if I was ever in the closet. There were so many people in the house that no one really noticed me or cared. I usually did what I wanted to as long as I got good grades and was home in time for dinner." "Lucky you. I'm an only child from an overly-protective fundamentalist mom. I moved here from Denver as soon as I was old enough to get away, the day after my eighteenth birthday. I had my first gay experience on the back of that bus that brought me here. Dear old Mother still doesn't know, or want to know, I'm not sure which is more accurate." "You never told her?" "I have tried. I've brought up the subject a few times but each time she changes the topic of conversation. I mention Gary and she will only refer to him as my roommate. I think she's decided to go the grave thinking that her boy will someday meet a nice Christian girl and make lots of green-eyed masculine babies. Hey, want to go back to your place and fuck?" Jimmy chokes on the sip of sangria he just took, "What? Wow. Uh, well, I don't know." "Come on. I'm not talking about a lifetime commitment. We won't have to pick out matching drapes in the morning. Just a nice night of escaping in sweaty passion between two horny young men." "It's a really nice offer and I do think you're attractive but..." "But nothing. You look like you haven't gotten laid in ages." "Feels like years. But...I'm not sure about this." "Why you're practically a virgin again. We won't do anything you won't enjoy." "It would be nice to cuddle with someone a little but maybe next time." "Okay, I'll let you off this time. But not forever. I've watched you from my department too long."