#but jesus man that thing looks like a big ol scam and i do not trust it

[freevoidman]

ok i've had a day to chill out and TGA last night was not as bad as I was making it out to be--the awards were all well deserved, no major upsets, and it was actually well-run and Geoff clearly took criticism to heart--it just wasn't that great on reveals for me. I do acknowledge there were some great titles shown (like Okami!) but a lot didn't hit me on an emotional investment level and others were, uh... definitely annoying to see (TLOU2 remaster go fuck yourselves it's just an optimized port).

The one thing I think I can be genuinely pissed about is that one game, Catly, because it looks like a full-on scam. Brand new company with zero social media reference pulls up out of nowhere to the game awards with a high-fidelity, incredibly weirdly animated trailer that feels exactly like AI slop, no information on what engine the game is being run on or what any gameplay looks like, it's somehow coming out on apple watch, and the steam page just has some more generic ai-looking pictures of cats with NO gameplay shown whatsoever. If that game really is some AI shit then I think I'm gonna throw my phone at Geoff.

[kehideni]

Ahh right i owe a Guild Wars 2 What lies beneath post..

SO!! Good things first: the suggested topic of the following who-knows-how-many installments. I really didn’t expect Arenanet, and i’ll go further: ANY mmorpg to EVER even come close to smelling a single WIFF of the mental state their main character is in due to the things the writers and the players put them through. I think it’s a great idea, just like when they killed the commander in PoF. It was ballsy, dramatic, and payed off well. If they can repeat that i’m gonna kiss my monitor for granting me the privilege to see this with one character twice.

The jokes were funny, the animations (exspecially charr eating ramen x’‘‘D if you haven’t seen it yet, look it up. it’s so funny and adorable and real), the connections between the rag-tag team we got for ourselves now. A+

BUT!

Icebrood Saga started out great just like this, and due to poor planning and a sudden steer of the wheel we all know how that panned out. Eventhough the charr and the norn really deserved to have the sort of spotlight IBS promised. And i can’t help but be kinda salty that once again, we are human focused. (and by human spotlight... i mean...that kinda involves everything GW1... it’s nice to get stuff from the source material, but mine too deep and you end up like World of Warcraft, an incoherent mess that lacks direction and literally had to take back SIX(6) expansion’s worth of steps, to be back on square 1 again, and i find it hilarious that this is why DF is praised so much as an expansion)

Once again, nothing wrong with taking from the source material, just don’t let that be your go-to every single time. GW2 is known for reinventing ideas, i just don’t want them to stop that good habit of theirs.

Onto the regrettable stuff: this update was too short. I hope it was this short only because it’s a prologue but IBS burned me once, i’m not gonna hold out my hand twice.

Also wtf Marjory, why wasn’t i invited to the wedding? How are you on your honeymoon with Kas if i WASN’T.AT.THE.FKEN.WEDDING?! Yes i know, that’s not really a thing a player can... er... play but like a little sniplet from it would have been enough... maybe show the new character animations there? Surely the commander could have slurped ramen at their wedding... and throw confetti, and like just have a 1-2 liner with characters you wanna check up on. How is my man Rytlock doing???? You wouldn’t even need voiceacting for it, just regular ol’ chat bubbles, come AAAWWWWN

The sinfully bad:

The new lootchests are a fkin scam. Mate-y, if i do a meta event then i want my reward. When all i had to pay for keys are shitty scraps i could farm without any active farming, just doing the meta there was no problem. But to pay for keys with MATERIALS??!?! B** I’M COLLECTING THE MATERIALS FOR LEGENDARIES!!! WHY WOULD I TRADE THAT UP FOR SHITTY GREEN UNIDENTIFIED STUFF?! uuuuuuuuuuuuuugggh Anet, who thought of this?! Why didn’t you give them a cup of coffee to wake up?!

Also ambushes are fkin brutal man... i love the extra challenge but come on.. atleast give those fkers’ abilities a cooldown where i can fakkIIIN USE ANY OF MY ABILITIES!! Once again, everyone that is not a guardian is fked over.

To close it in a positive note: the male charr voiceactor was perfect, they sounded just as broken and traumatised as i wanted a big ass warrior cat to be after being put through 5 different hells and back, and dying, and then losing their dragon-jesus daughter, and PTSD, and you all know i could still go on. Can’t wait to hear Palawa Joko’s monologue echo back on us, i’m calling it now!

“The scars you have gouged into it spell out your name for ALL to see” rawest. fkin. line. in an MMO. ever!!!

[hyukiee]

Chapter 2: Backseat

Warnings: cussing, drug use, mental illness (future fluff, smut, angst, etc.)

I’m so sorry for not updating, a lot has been going on but be ready for a double update! :)

Taehyung is the type of person that is never fake. He can read people like an open book and when he sees that their intentions are fake, he doesn’t hide his annoyance or frustration. He has been in many of these situations with celebrities while in America. There’s a reason people say to never meet your idols. Chances are, their assholes. It’s unfortunately rare to come across a genuine person in the industry. Taehyung just doesn’t have the energy to be someone he is not, he’s been having this feeling of loneliness a lot more everyday. Not really loneliness but just this incompleteness. He can’t say anything though because that would make him greedy in other people’s eyes. What does he not have, right? He’s in the biggest group in the world, he can get anything he wanted. He’s never understood the whole ‘money can’t buy happiness’ phrase as much as he does now. “Yah, we’re getting your favorite coffee why do you look like someone just stole your favorite toy,” Yoongi chuckled hanging his arm around Taehyung’s shoulder. “Just tired, it’s hot out today,” “Mhm, good ole California,” Hoseok piped in with his iconic smile. The heat consumed Taehyung’s mind until he saw someone sitting in front of his favorite cafe. Not just some homeless person but weirdly the prettiest one he has ever seen. The urge to help her was obviously because she was pretty because they have passed many homeless people here and never gave a second look. He really shouldn’t help her, right? Homeless people are there for a reason, she may use his could of been good spent money on drugs. Little did he know you mentally hit yourself for not taking his money for an extra Xanax. Fuck it.

“Where did Tae go, he needs to order?” Namjoon frantically looked around the shop as if he was looking for his lost child. On que, Taehyung walked in with even more of a depressed look. “Was I the only one that saw him get rejected by the homeless??” Jungkook held onto his stomach from laughter and soon pain from Taehyung’s fist. “What is up with you today? You’re never like this,” Jin spoke for the whole group. Taehyung really is never like this. Everyone knows how insanely honest he is, he wouldn’t just give some crackhead money. No, he would give it to someone that deserved it. Something told him she didn’t deserve the money but she deserved something... he wish he would be able to find out what it was.

“Yahh, i’m much taller than you, i’ll catch up eventually so you might as well stop,” Taehyung had a smile stuck on his face as he sped walked behind you. He expected this to happen, it wasn’t really planned to have you find out that you were talking to someone famous all along by seeing him perform but it was just too good of an opportunity. He didn’t see you in the crowd but he saw you walking away with your head down. He would of never assumed it would be that easy to embarrass you. “What? I thought you wanted to meet celebrities here?” he spoke almost cocky after grabbing your small wrist making you turn to him abruptly. “Is this a joke? What do you want from me? I don’t want to be your charity case if that’s what this all is.” Ouch. Was he that bad at flirting or do you have a million walls holding you back? “I’ve been feeling empty recently. You know, like I have everything but it’s not really what I want. I’m interested in you, this isn’t a common thing for me when i’m in a foreign country. Your not a charity case but...,” Taehyung’s cheeks turned red at his sudden confessions. You kept eye contact with him as he rambled though, it almost felt like you found relief in what he was saying. “I’ll be your charity case if you really are as interesting as i’m assuming.”

Is he asking you for drugs? No... it can’t be that. He doesn’t know you, how does he have such a big assumption of you out of one conversation. You probably can’t run now, he really is much taller than you. What is holding you back? Some ridiculously attractive artist is asking you of all people to show him a life he has been missing. Oh you can do that. It’s practically your second job. “Fuck it, let’s go.” You turned back around and started walking slower to the exit, assuming Taehyung was following. You might be able to scare him out of this before you even get on the road back to L.A. People always swear they want to live this carefree life but that is just what it looks like on the outside. It’s a scam. Give you a good time at first and by the end of it your just a sleep deprived drug addict. That could never be Taehyung. If he can make assumptions about you, you could do the same. He’s a good guy, the type to try and change you into a better person. He’ll stick out like a bug with you. So out of place but so desperate to find whatever is missing in his life.

“So, BTS huh? How’s that?” you and Taehyung sat in the back of Julian’s car waiting for him to find his way back so you can get some sleep at a hotel. “Exhausting, honestly but my members are amazing and so are our fans so that keeps me going,” he played with his fingers, smiling as he thought about the guys and army. He feels terrible for feeling lost when he has such amazing people around him. “Interesting,” you responded back uninterested. Not on purpose, you were just trying to cut up some cocaine on your phone. Taehyung noticed how you spoke and looked at you. “What’s that?” “Do you really wanna know?” You laughed at his innocent expression. “I don’t know why I asked, I know what it is,” why does it feel like your getting judged by your father? He sounded so disappointed, you almost felt guilty. Almost. “Sure you do,” you laughed before snorting your perfectly made line you might say. You released a long sigh as you entered your own world made by your dearest cocaine. Not a single thing in this world could replace the feeling. Taehyung sat almost uncomfortably looking out the window, pretending you weren’t literally abusing drugs right beside him. He’s stubborn, he hasn’t left yet even though you can tell he is reconsidering his decision to come with you. It reminds you of yourself, stubborn as fuck and so desperate to find a new meaning in life.

“Jesus christ y/n, when I said people would kill to meet celebrities here I didn’t mean go off and kidnap one,” Julian loudly made himself noticed in the drivers seat, noticing the perfectly built man before he even opened the door. “Oh fuck off, he asked to come,” Fuck, now you have to playing fucking translator. “Taehyung, this is Julian,” you tapped on him pointing to Julian. “Yeah, right .. what’s up man,” Julian greeted Taehyung like he did everyone else. It isn’t rare for the both of you to bring around random people, it’s apart of the life you live, vibing with complete strangers and quite literally trusting them with your life sometimes. Taehyung greeted him the best he could in his own awkward way. “He doesn’t speak english so just use hand gestures like a dumb ass, I don’t feel like translating right now.” You spoke laying your head back on the headrest. As Julian begin to drive you could feel Taehyung shaking his foot anxiously. You do that all the time but you never really took him for someone with anxiety. You probably give him anxiety. You probably scare him. You know better than anyone that comfort is what you needed when you were that innocent girl getting involved in the dangerous life so you instinctively placed wrapped your small hand ontop of his that layed on the middle seat. You felt him look at you. His leg stopped shaking.

[tinybangtanangel]

★~BTS REALITY~★

BTS is holding a special reality series with fans as a celebration of ten years performing. The goal is simple, be the last girl standing and you might win yourself a big ol' prize.

Now who in their right mind would pass up on an opportunity like this? Definitely not you.

Rated: M (it doesn’t seem like it now, but it’ll get there eventually)

Relationship: OT7/Reader

1 | 2 | ?

                            Chapter 1: ★ APPLICATION ★

It was an ordinary Saturday. The refreshing feeling of waking up and realizing you had no classes already making the day ten times better. The smell of coffee makes its way to your nose, indicating that Adela was awake. She was always the early riser of you two.

Making your way out of your room, you wrinkle your nose as the coffee smell becomes stronger. Coffee was not a drink you preferred. You drag your way to the bathroom and proceed through your morning routine.

Teeth freshly brushed and face washed, you walk towards the living room.

“You’re up early” Adela states slightly surprised. She watches you beeline to the couch. You offer a small grunt in return as you plop yourself down. You never were much of a morning person, though today seemed to be going fine so far. She grins and sashays her way over to the couch as you begin flipping through movies to watch.

“You know, (y/n), I’m going to be checking out that new café on campus with Jeffery today, if you want to come with” You, halt your movie search.

“Adela, girl, I love you, but Jeffery is a total douche,” you reply. Last time you checked Jeffrey's world revolved around pretty girls and parties.

Laughing, Adela rolls her eyes. “Whatever (y/n), I’m leaving in an hour, let me know if you change your mind” and with that, she heads towards her room to get ready. Shrugging, you return your focus to the T.V. It would be nice to head out today and get some fresh air, but staying home and binging Netflix sounded much more appealing. You snuggle further into the couch, yes, this will do for today.

----------

It was close to lunchtime when you finally peeled yourself from the couch. Your hunger had overpowered your will to not move, and so, you were forced to get up. Without Adela in the house, it was unusually quiet, something you hadn’t had the pleasure of experiencing in a while. Turning to your phone, you scrolled for some music to play while making something to eat. Opening YuTube you begin your search for some good music.

While scrolling you come across a new BTS song. ‘Hmm’ you think to yourself, ‘It has been some time since I’ve listened to something new by them’ Clicking the song you are pleasantly surprised with what you hear. They had evolved their music style since the last time you had listened to them. You scroll down further to the comments, wanting to see what others think of the song. As you read through the comments, you notice some repeat the same message: LIVE EVERY FAN’S BEST DREAM WITH BTS! CLICK HERE TO READ MORE…

You stare at the message intently. It was most likely a scam, some robot trying to rob fans of their personal information, yet you felt your curiosity getting the best of you. God, please don’t be dumb right now (y/n). You could not afford to have your personal info stolen, especially your bank info, with how things were going money-wise. You found your finger getting closer and closer to the link. Well as the saying goes, you only live once! Quickly pressing down, you scrunch your eyes as if by closing your eyes you were saving yourself from the hacker you were allowing onto your phone. After a couple of seconds, you slowly peel your eyes open.

Looking down you are shocked to see a legitimate website. You stare at your phone helplessly as the options tumble through your head. Glowing on your screen was the ad for BTS’s new exclusive series reality show, something about a gift they had decided to award their fans for their 10th anniversary.

You delve further into reading the ad, trying to see if this was really happening. Who would’ve thought BigHit would ever allow this, especially with the number of crazy fans BTS had out there. Applicants weren’t required to speak fluent Korean, rather they wanted those who could speak some Korean and some English. You knew fans all over the world were having a field day over this, including you. Giggling in excitement, your legs begin bouncing in anticipation. Sure you only knew like five words in Korean, but you could learn more. As you began to calm back down, logic began invading your happy thoughts. There were going to be millions of people applying for a chance to participate in the show, and only 10 spaces available. Well, 10 spaces before elimination within the show of course. There was no way BigHit was going to notice you of all people, so what was the point.

“Fuck it” Rolling your neck, you ease the tension of sitting hunched over your phone. Either way, you weren’t going to die if you applied. Might as well jump on the opportunity.

The questions were very standard, asking information such as age, height, nationality, etc. Towards the end, trickier questions began appearing.

“Why do I want to be a part of this show?” you can’t help the eye roll that escapes you at the question “What the hell kind of question is that,” you ask yourself aloud. What were you supposed to write? It was simple, you had been a big fan of them back in the day (still kind of were), and this was your chance to meet them in person. But you had a feeling BigHit wanted something a bit deeper, something more personal. Unfortunately, you were not a very deep person, so this question was a challenge.

Almost two hours later, you were finally finished. Grumbling, you stood and made your way back to the living room. Your mind wandered back to the difficult question. You had written some cheesy response relating BTS to your ‘precious high school years’, but what if that wasn’t good enough? Someone across the globe had probably written a more authentic answer, taking your chance of ever meeting the boys. You shook your head as you made your way back to the living room, it wasn’t like you were going to get picked anyway.

----------

You were shaking as you stared at your computer in disbelief. To say you were confused was an understatement. How was this even possible? You were sure your application would get ignored with the millions of fans applying, yet in front of you was an email from BigHit inviting you for an interview. You couldn’t even describe the emotions coursing through you, everything felt tingly and ugh you hated it. You were probably about to have a stroke from the shock alone. Stumbling towards your bed you throw yourself down, how were you supposed to break the news to Adela. Also thank god it was summer since your dumb ass decided to apply without even thinking about school. God this was all happening way too fast.

Your hands tremble as the gravity of the situation sets in.

You were going to Korea.

You were going to be on T.V.

You were going to meet BTS.

No, you were getting ahead of yourself. You had to pass the interview first before you could even breathe in the same room as them.

Your eyes begin to droop, the softness of your bed lulling you to sleep. You had some serious planning to do.

--------------

“God you’re so lucky (y/n), make sure to get an autograph for me.” You laugh as Adela clings to you. Breaking the news to her wasn’t as hard as you thought it would be. Now here you were, a new wardrobe later, lugging the largest suitcase you could find. You weren’t exactly sure how long you were going to be stuck in Korea, so you figured you might as well pack as much as possible.

Adela had been slightly hurt that you hadn’t told her about the application since she had been a fan back in the day as well. In the end, she settled with you getting their autographs and pictures of the boys. That was if you even made it onto the show.

“You know I can’t promise that Adela” you reply amused. She rolls her eyes with a huff.

“Oh be quiet (y/n), they’d be stupid to ever reject a girl like you” she grins at you before picking up the pace. “Hurry up, you’re going to miss your flight at this rate”

You can feel the sweat collecting on your hands as you approach the security check. This was it, no turning back now. Taking in a deep breath, you turn towards Adela.

“Thanks for coming with me today, I’m seriously going to miss you”, your voice wavering slightly. You hear her sniff before she launches herself at you.

“Shut up, you’re going to make me cry (y/n)” Chuckling, you wrap your arms tighter around her. You were going to be lonely without her. Reluctantly, you pull away. You had a flight to catch. Looking back one last time, she waves and you turn and make your ways towards security. Korea, here you come.

-------------

Finally, the plane had landed. You knew the flight would be long, but you didn’t realize how bloated you would get, so now here you were with a swollen face hobbling around the Seoul international airport. Good thing you weren’t being interviewed, or even seen by anyone from BigHit today. They might have rejected you on your bloated face alone.

Looking up you thank the gods that they provide English on the signs because although you were comfortable with speaking Korean, reading was a different story. You wander around for your carousel and luggage, there were too many people in this place. You rub your face and wipe the crust from our eyes. You could not wait to get to the hotel and get some proper rest.

30 minutes later, you finally had your luggage and were heading towards the exit when you spotted a man holding a sign with your name. You pause slightly, startled at the sight before you. Was this in the email they sent you? Gosh, you knew you should’ve re-read the email before landing. You decide against waving your hand at the man and begin approaching him instead.

Getting closer, you tentatively step towards the male “Um, hello sir, my name is (y/n) (l/n)” your voice coming out hoarsely. Jesus, you needed to drink some water asap.

Turning suddenly, the man’s eyes widen. “Oh! Apologies miss! I didn’t see you walk here” he apologizes quickly, a forced smile pulling its way across his face. His accent was prominent as he stumbled through his English. Giving you a once over, he bends to grab your luggage from you. “My name is Song Park. If you would follow me, I will be taking you to hotel”

“Oh, thank you very much Mr. Park” you respond somewhat taken aback as he begins to wheel your luggage towards the car. You weren’t expecting a whole chaperone service, but you sure as hell didn’t have any complaints.

Sliding into the car you decide to send a quick text to Adela, letting her know you had arrived safely. The car begins moving as Song drives you to your destination. You lay your head back and allow yourself to relax into the seat, you can’t help the butterflies that flush your system suddenly as realization strikes you. This was happening. A smile graces your features as you doze off.

[thedoctorisadhd]

what's once on this island about?

i hope ur happy anon, bc this took me literally like six hours im not exaggerating even a little

short answer: so u take the original plot of the littlest mermaid and u plunk it down rIGHT in the middle of 1920s haiti, right

long answer (like, REALLY long answer. like REALLY long. im sorry i dont know how to summarize when there are so many good things):

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

“where the sea, sparkling in the sun, earns it the name, ‘jewel of the antilles.’”

“an island where the poorest of peasants labor —”

“— and the wealthiest of the grand hommes lay.”

“two different worlds on one island!”

“the grand hommes, owners of the land and masters of their own fates.”

“and the peasants, eternally at the mercy of the wind and sea, would pray constantly to the gods.”

those are the four storytellers, beginning the play. lydia started the first line, then abby, then dori, then natalie, and repeat.

(oh yeah, also this is the jr version. also, i dont know everything bc i was backstage the majority of the time)

so the gods that the beach people / peasants are dancing to, theres 4 of them. asaka (played by lavanya in our production) is the goddess of the earth, erzulie (played by luke who’s closeted, so i change it to a god, erzulio) beautiful goddess of love. agwe (played by ian) is the god of the sea, and papa ge (eli, of course, and it’s literally pronounced papa gay), my personal favorite, is the sly demon of death

and this is all described in the first number “we dance”

stay tuned yo it gets better.

(its so good. dont ever listen to any version besides the chatham one i can guarantee you that any non-eli papa ge, any non-luke erzulie / erzulio, any non-lavanya asaka, any non-ian agwe, any non-lydia / dori / abby / natalie storyteller will not be as good)

so basically theres this storm, and in this storm is a little girl and the gods are like “no papa ge we’re not killing her you fuck” and they irresponsibly plunk her down in a tree

and so tonton julien (ben) and mama euralie (izzy) come along & are like “holy shit a kid” (and this girl is crying her eyes out of course bc as mr adam creatively put it to the girl who played young ti moune, “you were just dropped in a tree by some randos you’ve never seen before in your entire life”) but like theyre poor and dont have a lotta food and shit so they try to leave but the gods, showing some small modicum of responsibility, like, use the force to pull them back. so these peasants adopt ti moune and name her ti moune and theres a whole big number about her growing up called “one small girl” which i quite like actually

then ti moune is grown up (sammie) and she sings about like “whats my destiny yo” all naive in “waiting for life” and sees a car which is a big ol lead-in to the next number. which brings us to

so in the beginning of “rain” theres this HILARIOUS section of dialogue with the gods picking mangos and here it is bc i cant not include it man

asaka: 🎵 pick a mango! 🎵

agwe: 🎵 a juicy mango! 🎵

erizulie: 🎵 a lovely mango! 🎵

papa ge, being Himself: 🎶 a poison mango! 😈 🎶

[all of the other gods look at papa ge]

anyway, after that theyre all proposing things to do to get ti moune less naive, with such wonderful suggestions from these dumbasses as “splash her with a wave” and “scare her half to death”. and then erzulie is like “yeah u do that imma give her what she wants bye” and the other gods are like “????????????” and shes just like “You Heard Me” and just goes like “Love Can Conquer Anything!!!!!!! :)))))))) ❤️💞💕💚💛💙💜💝💘💗💖❣️” and papa ge is like “that’s bullshit this whole thing is bullshit that’s a scam fuck the love here’s like two reasons why” and they argue (and asaka remarks that this is “more amusing than mangos”) and the gods are all “HMMMM🤔🤔” and then they all go “A BET!”

and the gods all start like pitching in to set up this bet, so like erzulie gives her strength and asaka’s gonna guide her but then papa ge interrupts like “IM GONNA MAKE HER CHOOSE” and then johnny boy i mean ian i mean agwe then calls dibs on choosing the circumstances of the bet

and u remember that car right? well ian agwe is like “that. thats the place where the 2 worlds meet” and he creates a big ol storm and in the song he says (one of my favorite lines, actually) “rain makes the road such a dangerous place” (he did amazing in that song but i feel kinda bad bc like. he was overshadowed by the other gods who are all incredible singers, and parts of it were too low for him. like, eli can sing as high as he did, but ian really cant sing that low)

also they used the fish flags from the seussical two years ago when sammie’s sister sidne played the cat in the hat. i always found it hilarious that dori of all people they couldve chosen played a fish

ANYWAY. so the car is goin down the road and crash oh no a car accident. totally not what agwe was (shot)gunning for

and so ti moune pulls this guy outta the car right, and — by the way, now we’re in this super intense number called “pray” — and this song is real fuckin good alright.

my opinion upon this is based almost solely on the fact that within the first like ten lines of this epically long song a peasant, talking about the guy that got pulled outta the car (daniel, that’s his name), says, literally: “papa ge wants him!” i will remind you that papa ge is pronounced “papa gay” and what makes it even more astronomically fuckin funny is that both hank, the guy that played daniel, and eli, who as u may know played papa ge, are mlm.

anyway no one wants to help daniel even tho he’s Actively Dying bc Fuck The Grand Hommes, Am I Right Guys We Cant Do Anything Were Peasants And There Is Sanctity That We Must Never Talk To Look At Or Think About A Single Grand Homme, Ever™ but ti mounes gonna help him bc Fuck You Guys and she keeps him alive while tonton julien goes to find the guys family after she’s Finally persuaded the guy to do this

and ti moune doesnt sleep for Three Fucken Days by the way. thats important in the next number

also daniel is supposed to be good looking so of course ti moune Falls In Love With Him despite never having seen him before in her entire life, and also hes unconcious the Whole time. i dont understand the heterosexuals

anyway, tonton juliens at the gate to daniels family hotel and he’s like “pls let me in i need to speak to monsieur beausome!” and the gatekeepers like “get the fuck away my guy” and hes like “no but its urgent!!” and the gatekeeper SLAPS BEN [LAST NAME REDACTED]*

so ben i mean tonton recovers and like seriously gets down on his knees and begs and the gatekeeper is still like “FUCK! NO!” and then ben fucking [last name redacted]* SCREAMS SAVAGELY “I HAVE FOUND HIS SON!” HOO BOY

and then at the end of pray you hear a long high note and then one specific girl takes it HIGHER ????????? idk who it is for sure but im willing to put my money on lavanya bc jesus christ can that girl sing

*people always say bens full name when referring to him for some reason, so it’s not ben bc which ben? it’s not ben b. it’s ben [last name redacted].

so pray goes ge STRAIGHT into forever yours. not the reprise, thats later.

so. forever yours. in a STUNNING turn of events (sarcasm. absolutely the least stunning thing after the whole “papa gay wants him” in pray), the VERY fucking FIRST LINE IN THIS WHOLE FUCKING STUPID HEARTFELT SONG is literally ti moune saying “i am a tree, holding away the storm”. are you fucking serious. are you kidding me. you waste the first line on that monstrosity,

anyway basically what happens in this is ti moune is singing about tending to daniel here it is

i am a tree holding away the stormhere in my arms i’ll keep u safe and warmeven the gods wont dare to cross this linewhere my life is forever yoursand you are mine

and on that last word, “mine”, papa ge joins in and it is fuckin CHILLING, not LEAST bc eli has the voice of a fuckin angel (and sammie too, but i think eli’s is just slightly better)

so eli stalks in and the first thing papa ge does, in a True demonstration of the gay / ge agenda, is Drag The Het.

(then he goes on to say “this boy is mine”)

so eli’s also got a knife (a fake one) and this is another Important Thing so yeah

anyway sammie ti moune should “TAKE MINE FOR HIS.” (her life she meant) and papa ge is SHOOK. he just … stops. “wot”

so yeah. ti moune, in one of The most IMPRESSIVE displays of heterosexual tomfoolery and ridiculousness i have Yet Seen (scene), trades her life for this Complete Fuckin Stranger she pulled out of the car wreck whomst has not as of yet spoken a Single word to her bc HE’S BEEN UNCONSCIOUS THE WHOLE TIME!?

and heres another good line, the first gay daddy nico diangelo himself eli papa gay papa ge has had since “wot”: i am the road / leading to no return

(and this is also where eli goes REALLY high. like not for basically everyone else, but for him)

then daniels two dads apparently, grant and hugh, pick him up and take him back to the hotel and ti moune is like “NOOOOOOO” and makes mama and tonton let her leave to go find daniel, and frankly i am not very interested in this specific part of the song so fuck that i skipped it lmao lets get to lavanyas fuckin SOLO

alright. “mama will provide”. exactly what it says on the tin, taking it into account that asaka would be mother earth i guess

really all this one is is lavanya’s fuckin angelic voice and What Exists In Nature, and i cant very well put lavanya’s voice down on the page for yinz to hear can i? the only notable thing i can really think of besides this next piece a dialogue  will share w u is in the beginning theres a bunch of ensemble doing weird repeating acapella and some hopping in like frogs. “COO COO coo coo cOO COO COOO” “SHAH shaSHA-ah” “buuuuu BUM! BUM! bum” its sounds slightly weirder than it is

anyway here’s the best dialogue:

everyone: MOSQUITOS??

asaka: HA!

ACT TWO HERE WE FUCKIN GO ALRIGHT

ok, so ti moune finds daniel who doesnt know who she is bc, you know, he was unconscious the entire time. she gets him to know she was the one who nursed him tho. and they go to the front of the stage and ti moune sits and daniel puts his head on her lap. again, poor hank

now, “human heart”. jesus. i have literally cried over this song.

so erzulie goes out on stage to where hank is slowly suffering, probably, and sings this GODS DAMN BEAUTIFUL SONG about like, love n shit i guess. the storytellers and the other three gods act as a sort of choir. that’s pretty much all there is to say about human heart tho. moving on

ok so for “pray (reprise)” the gossipers (which are apparently supposed to be the storytellers, but fuck that thats lame, give my Cool Hoes lianna and taylor parts tbh) go out on stage and sing about how daniel is spending all his time w a peasant and shes a witch and yadda yadda yadda. and then theres some lame romance shit that i dont have fuckin time for

anyway, the song culminates with daniel’s father comin out on stage (lmao). which father, u ask? he had two of em? well that was grant and hugh, this one’s iain. conclusion: daniel has three polyamorous gay dads. this is the gayest production of a play ive ever seen. i mean papa ge? “papa ge wants him”? the fact that tonton means uncle so mama euralie and tonton julien arent married? “this boy is mine” coming from daddy gay himself? the fact that daniels last name means beautiful man? the “beautiful god of love” (as luke said, refusing to misgender himself in his introduction U GO LUKE)? the fact that out of the main cast (the 4 gods, the 4 storytellers, daniel, ti moune, andrea, mama euralie, and tonton julien) there are literally eight (8) actors who Arent straight (id bet that two others arent str8 and or / cis as well but im not sure)? just change daniel to danielle and itll be perfect

ayway daniel’s 3rd dad comes out on stage and tells him to stop this nonsense, young man ANYWAY NEXT SONG

in “some girls” the rich guys at the hotel all are doing a really lame colorless boring dance. then this girl andrea (ava) comes out and sings about the rumors about ti moune, that she’s stupid or wild, and daniel tells her to stop, then ti moune arrives and andrea really condescendingly asks her to dance for everyone and daniel encourages ti moune

so ti moune does a slow lame dance and then it gets loud and wild and fun! then when she’s done andrea goes to daniel and is like “she’s in love with you you oblivious fuck if you care at all you’ll tell her —” (unclear about what he’s caring about) and andrea is interrupted by ti moune who’s like “HI I HEARD MY NAME WHATCHA WANT ANDREA” and daniel goes and breaks her fuckin heart right

how he does this is he’s like “oops sorry i thought u would realize that we could never marry bc andrea and i are already engaged (since we were babies)”. daniel demonstrates an amazing amount of calmness about being forced to marry this girl he’s known all his life, and an incredible amount of insensitiveness bc TI MOUNE WAS NEVER FUCKIN TOLD THAT HE WAS ENGAGED. honestly i loathe literally every single character in this play except for the gods and the storytellers lmao

OK NOW FOR MY FAVORITE FUCKIN ONE WOW :~)

the reprise of forever mine.

so. ti moune is alone on stage and she goes like “gods please are u listening help me” and then. u hear. eli’s fucking amazing evil laugh and the gay himself appears

and he’s like u gotta keep ur promise ti moune im here to collect on that Soul

did i mention elis voice is beautiful? no i dont care, im sayin it again, eli [last name redacted] has the voice of an angel

anyway he’s like “u gave him ur soul, now u have to PAY” (the line he used here is “i am the price you’ll pay” and that sounds cool as shit)

and so “father homosexual,” as he was dubbed by luke, takes out his knife and sings “your life is forever mine” and holds the knife to ti mounes neck and ti moune yells “PLEASE DONT” and and and

he stops.

“trade your life for his.”

so papa ge gives her the knife and tells her to go stab daniel and he sings “i am the road that leads to no return” as he walks to the left side of the stage, and erzulie appears at the right side and sings human heart as papa ge continues with his verse from the first forever mine as ti moune struggles towards and away from daniel, straining, being pulled by opposite forces, love and death, and the two unite in singing “forever mine!” and ti moune casts the knife to the floor and screams “NO!”

and the music stops

and daniel sees the knife and picks it up

and says “why?!”

(fuckin bitch shoulda stabbed him when she had the chance)

and ti moune gets cast out and like, withers away at the gate neither eating nor sleeping, and then daniel comes to the gate with andrea at his wedding and sees ti moune and gives her a coin when she runs after him, and she collapses and the gods, sOMEHOW GAINING SOME MINISCULE VIEW OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR FUCKIN ACTIONS, all start CRYING. (erzulie won the bet) and erzulie hugs ti moune and papa ges probably off somewhere feeling sorry for himself bc you cant fuckin see him in the footage (nah, he’s off at the side of the stage with the other two gods neither of whomst you can see either), and mama euralie comes to sing this sad and pretty number “part of us” and then tonton and baby ti moune arrive as well for some fuckin reason,

and mama euralie says,

“and then the gods blessed her and turned her into —”

and then the gods hit their staffs on the floor (ian a bit gentlier bc his was falling apart bc he wouldnt stop fucking licking the fucking ribbons, ian) “a tree!”

and the tree comes up, forwards this time thankfully (phew) and and the tree fuckin cracks the walls of the hotel, get rekt scrubs, and the tree fuckin stalks daniel i guess, and daniels son sits by the tree and looks up and theres a peasant girl in its branches, and ti moune touches everyones hearts and also their livers, and everyone starts singing “why we tell the story”

also, fun story real quick, ive never actually seen eli dab i dont think (that’s something i need to accomplish real soon), and the dance he went off to the side and did with like, lydia, and agwe and ben [last name redacted] and daniels son and hugh — i guess all the boys in musical theater and also lydia, and the dance they have to do looks pretty damn like dabbing, and like, eli’s holding his staff so he cant do a true dab, really, but he can do a one armed one — but no. his dancing looks more like fuckin waving. ben [last name redacted] is dabbing, daniels son is dabbing, im like 80 percent sure ian’s dabbing directly behind eli, gloria’s dabbing in the back, but no, nOT ELI. im pretty sure he’s deliberately avoiding it smh

anyway

whOOP exciting parts over. now it’s time for Sad Half Circle Around Tree Girl i guess

“the stories that we weave,” and the storytellers and daniel’s son and the peasant girl in tree moune’s branches all come to the front and —

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

[replicarters]

hellraiser 3 funtime carnival, pt 2

PREVIOUSLY

so my dude @yvenly, unbeknownst to me, loves a hellraiser and has a fuckin shirt of the scary man that he was wearing while reading the first part. jake assures me that the scary man is not going to come and get me and nothing i own is haunted. i trust jake, so fortunately i am able to continue what i started to do the other night, which is watch a scary gory movie starring a space angel. i can confirm it is both gory and scaring me. let me remind you, me, and god that i am only 20 minutes into it, and it took exactly 6 minutes to get to the point where i was gently pissing myself. i shudder to think what the remaining hour and ten minutes hold.

i would very much enjoy if it held more of this:

and less deep crimson rivers, but i know i'm wishing for too much.

hot topic is making breakfast, terribly. this charred, molten husk, for instance, lying atop a burner, is either toast or a severed steak. i think it's toast. everything is burning and she should stop. now, just last night, hot topic was bumming smokes, recklessly flipping curtains open, sitting on the couch weird, and emptying the contents of her backpack all over the floor. but now all of a sudden it's "hey what's up let me make breakfast", so, great, now i'm invested in this blossoming love story. god, what if hot topic dies??? i don't think i could handle that. she and joey are friends now! hot topic's trying to make her food to repay her kindness! it's all fine with me as you might guess.

hot topic's name actually is... terry... or teri... or something. hmmmm. i like to imagine the mental force of will required to not constantly go "yeah?" at your own name not being used to address you. acting!

here's where it starts to cross over into the gay danger zone, when hot topic says it's her first time cooking. and the turn of phrase she uses is that she's a... kitchen... virgin...?

is that... so...?

joey offers to boil some water and says it's a specialty of hers and they laugh awkwardly like two heteros having a hetero time. joey also starts to make a suggestion to hot topic, and i thought to myself, "is she going to tell her to go watch cartoons?" and that's Exactly what she fucking did. i bet hot topic is a big fan of the snorks.

that cookbook appears to be campbell's microwave cookbook, which is wonderful on about 15 different levels. microwave cookbook being levels one through ten.

hot topic dances on the edge of the gay event horizon by sneaking a peek in joey's closet Come On Now is this for real

and joey is apparently not that great with toast either so i don't know how these girls are going to feed each other after they defeat the hellraiser and get married.

one LITTLE detail left out until the change in camera angle is that hot topic isn't wearing any pants. that seems like it was pretty important information for me to have, for the f/f hellraiser 3 fanfic i am now writing.

everything is all fine and dandy until the music starts going again and hot topic gets upset. she really loves it here. she wants the movie to flip into a lesbian romcom instead of being the mind-crushing hack-and-slash that it is. you guys what if she gets hacked and slashed?! oh god i don't want it

"uhhh a guy's head exploded in the first six minutes; we can't go back." yes, joey has to solve this mystery, which, i mean, she's braver than me; if i watched a guy get blasted all over the hospital walls after chains pulled his head apart i'd have a repressed memory that wouldn't resurface until years and years later, at which point i'd pass out in the grocery store as a grown adult with kids or something, and when i came to i'd remember the hell out of it and wouldn't stop screaming until my vocal chords snapped.

oh my good god

there's something important happening here but all i heard was "we're going shopping." forrrrrr strap-ons?

oh, they came to the hobo man's art gallery that's only open at night, and that i keep calling the pyramidhead gallery in my head. also check out those pants. yikesaroo! i can hear 1992's sears catalog calling from a landfill!

gracious me this whole ensemble! noooo.

"maybe they're closed." they're not closed, they just cannot let you in dressed like you belong in a parade on stilts. it will offend the art and we'll have more bad guys roaming around in the spooky shadows.

some man with a dog across the street says the pyramidhead gallery is closed every day, except for he apparently doesn't know it's open exclusively at 12:01 am. he says it's been there for months, closed. hot topic says that's bs; her boyfriend just bought something there last week. ew so the boyfriend that threw her out is imitation danny zuko. girl, run far away because that guy's busy communing with unholy messenger rats.

then for no reason at all, this poor pup gets dragged away by its neck, growling because dogs know stuff. does the dog also know its owner is an irresponsible sack of shit who needs to learn what a proper harness is? sheesh.

"chill," hot topic says. "there's a back door, right?" and then she pulls a lock pick out of her tits. like, not on a chain or anything, so i guess it was just resting freely in her cleavage. another important detail for my fanfiction.

there are more ugly paintings inside but joey gets right down to business and finds a file drawer that's pretty much exactly like every file drawer we have at work. just full of accordion folders with papers shoved in them.

"ughhh," joey says, "this is gonna take Forever." i literally... had that moment with my boss at work yesterday trying to find some paperwork. but it's not gonna take forever, not with the music going, it's not...!

the most illuminating revelation is that the gallery is a total scam; everything they have comes from bankruptcy sales, high school art classes, insane asylums... wait, what? uh oh.

uhhhhh ohhhhhhh.

thankfully we leave immediately and head straight back to the loser room. yeahhhh fistbump brah! fistbumps existed in 1992! imagine that. we can truly trace all tradition back to our ancestors.

danny zuko spies a hot blonde and motions to his mark sheppard-looking bartender that he wants to hit that, so the bartender pulls a rose out from the... ice bin...? "here babe take a cold-ass rose" "oh baby the frozen petals are burning me up" - is that what's supposed to happen?

so danny zuko comes over, the girl's like, "oh, it's you~" and he tells her she's beautiful she says "oh no there's lots of girls here more beautiful than me" and he pretends like he cares about how she feels blah blah blah

and then we come to sex noises so the arctic rose worked pretty well. i think i'll spare you a screenshot of the actual sex; i'd rather take a picture of a head split in half. my favorite part though is that he constantly has his hands on her tits so you don't see any nip. so we can watch the other graphic shit we've seen and yet we're not allowed to look at a boob? the fuck?

oh ps the statue is in the background, watching them.

and at the exact moment danny zuko comes (ugh) the statue's eyes open. ohhhhhhhhhhhohohoho fcukinggfkhgkldhgl

then the eyes close again.

hot topic and joey are back at her apartment. joey's broken out of a pair of scully specs so i guess things have gotten serious in here.

hot topic prepares to walk out the door and joey is like HOLD ON???? WHY LEAVE??

she's trying to get some tape and succeeds and this is extremely untoward and i am offended!!!

hot topic guesses joey got what she needed, and prepares to show herself out. joey's face immediately falls and she's like no????? and she invites hot topic to stay in her spare room.

hot topic gets very emotional and says that's great, and offers to do breakfast! oh boy!!

even at the thought of inedible trash breakfast, joey is thrilled. this is Fucking Gay

"so cool... Radical!"

the girl danny just boned stands in front of this painting which, to be honest with you? kind of looks like dukat? maybe dukat if he roided up before the reckoning.

danny's already done with this and has important things to do like getting a scuff off his ugly red cowboy boots. it all goes south pretty fast.

"but you gave me a rose."

"and tomorrow, i'll give one to somebody else." ooooooh

"you shit," the girl says, speaking the truth.

there's yelling, the girl backs up toward the statue, i'm biting my nails because something's clearly gonna happen

LAUGHS NERVOUSLY OHHHHHH NOOOOOOO

chains, chains, it's always chains, hooked chains come out of the statue and sink into her. danny zuko, for as vile as he is, didn't plan this at all as even he's like "what the ffffuuuuuuccckkkk"

hello!! furby's awake!

the statue gets one more hook right into her forehead and then? and THEN, the all-time grossest fucking thing happens, and i swear to god i'm not making this up but also you're kidding if you think i'll actually screenshot it: the hook pulls THE ENTIRETY OF THE GIRL'S SKIN OFF HER BODY IN ONE SHOT, and THEN, STILL ALIVE and screaming bloody fucking murder, the girl, looking like a page out of any muscular system biology book, is DIGESTED BY THE STATUE.

and then once properly absorbed, her face appears SO ALL THE FACES ON THIS STATUE ARE PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN SKINNED AND EATEN HKFLGRHLGKLSKB I'M SCREECHING

i guess a nutritious meal was just the thing to get ol stoneface back to normal. HE'S HERE, THIS IS HIM, THIS IS THE GUY!! jake says his name is pinhead? just going to call him pincushion, hope that's okay. honestly it's more like nailcushion, those look like a bunch of nails sticking out of him. why does he love metal so much!!!

and all danny zuko has to say is "jesus christ!" like he couldn't even pretend to barf.

and pinhead FUCKING RESPONDS: "not quite." buddy, i'll say.

he starts getting poetic and i never expected him to have an accent. who do you think you are, shakespeare? i've never heard of shakespeare writing a scene where taming of the shrew ends with a flesh barbecue.

pinhead does one fun thing which is compare himself to danny zuko, which in my mind is exactly right but danny zuko cries and whines and says "no that's fuckin evil man!!!" yeah, just. like. you!

according to pinhead, there's no good, there's no evil, only flesh. is this what he does, just eats people? i didn't expect this either.

"you will help me," he says.

no Fuckin way danny zuko says, bringing out a gun like this is going to do anything other than increase pinhead's desire for flesh cakes.

oh my god and then pinhead laughs and says "how touching, that is the gun you used to kill your parents?" LMAO WHAT????

zuko unloads the gun and pinhead spits every bullet out of his mouth. just lets em drop right out onto the floor. danny zuko then drops his gun.

looks like you're in this for the long haul, pal!

he drops to the floor and starts sobbing. puny man sobbing in his boxers dot jpg.

there is a place, pinhead says, at his right hand for this manchild. yucky.

aaaand true to form, danny zuko takes a minute to think it over and then signs right up. this is so insulting to danny zuko; maybe i ought to start calling him his real name which is JP, which also is not really a name.

meanwhile, joey is full on channeling murphy brown and lookin cute. her friendly grandpa cameraman runs up to give her a package. something for her story? mmm something for something. grandpa cameraman, ever a decent person (oh god what if HE dies?) says if there's any way he can help, just give him a call. i think the first thing he can do to help is contact a priest specializing in exorcisms, get to that statue, and end this before it starts hopping railroad tracks.

scully specs are back on, tape is in the vcr, quest to quit smoking is shot, and we are go.

the tape is of a girl in a room at what looks like that asylum that was referenced before, and she's talking about The Box.

"demons," she says. "demons live in the box." well girl, we are way past that, the demons are out of the box, in statues, in hospitals, that box barely has anything to do with anything anymore.

"it's a gateway to hell." yeaarrrrgghhhhh somebody close it, then!

this is a really nice shot, i just wanted to stop everything and have you look at it. hands!

uhhh thennn the tv switches to an image of a dude

and that dude

starts talking

to joey

NOOOOOOOOPE

"she's telling the truth, joey," this guy that sounds Suspiciously like pinhead says.

joey tries to rewind the tape to see what the hell that was, but there's nothing out of the ordinary there... nnnnggghhhhgdhflk

anyway, demons live in the box. it "opens itself", they come out, that's the sitch. fuck all this.

s-s-s-speaking of the b-b-b-box, here it is at joey's apartment, where hot topic is currently all alone. god if anything happens to her i will be devastated beyond belief. pleeeease don't eat her please don't eat her.

hot topic stares at the box the same way i stare at the box: with off-the-charts trepidation. but she notices what i also noticed, that it looks a little different, like now it has color.

"man, joey must've polished you up some, huh?" oh no please don't

i'm pretty much. gonna shit. please put it down please please please joey will be so sad if you are dead and i can't take it!

oh god and then the phone rings and she puts it down thank jesus

absoLutely not the phone call i wanted her to get.

jp wants hot topic to come over. no no, no, no no no, no, and no!

pleeeeeease just wait for joey to get home she'll protect you and you can both be safe! if you go over to jp you're literally going to be devoured by a hell beast aaaaahhhhhhhh

well thank the lord she says she just can't and slams down the phone. score one for pure love! can you win against the delicate softness of girls being nice to each other, pinhead, can you?!

uh wait, then hot topic triggers joey's messages and it sounds like cameraman telling her she got a job that she wanted across the country. ??? what happened to pure love?!

joey comes home and the place is just a sty. it's dark and hot topic's not there.

and she finds this note that says, "enjoy monterey, you liar".

welp, love is dead and the demons are coming! might as well start breaking ourselves down into bite-sized chunks!

that's all for this evening. we’ll have another fun jaunt tomorrow! now, what do you think is the best technique for cutting off your own arm? just grab a hacksaw and go to town?

[randomvarious]

The Adjusters - “Our Town ‘98″ Everything Off-Beat, Volume 2 Song released in 1997. Compilation released in 1998. Third Wave Ska

Ska music encountered a bit of a big problem in the 90s upon its third wave explosion as it was ingeniously fused with punk rock: its blackness almost entirely disintegrated. Ska had started as black music in Jamaica in the late 50s and when it hit its second "two-tone" wave in the late 70s and 80s in the UK, it was marked for its unique working class interraciality. But when ska was eventually paired with punk rock and hit its American third wave in the late 80s and then swelled in popularity throughout the 90s, the music was dominated almost entirely by both white artists and fans alike. And as a brilliant article written by J.R. Jones in a July 1998 edition of the Chicago Reader posits, those mostly white ska-punk fans who had been lured in by bands like Less Than Jake were way more likely to go on and explore the punk rock side of things than the ska side of things. This meant that, much like rock and roll, ska would become yet another style of music that had originally been made by blacks, only to then be re-packaged and stripped of its history to be made palatable for whites. The only difference is that it took decades for ska to reach that point, whereas it only took rock and roll a matter of years.

But there were some third wave ska bands who actively pushed back against all of that cultural erasure, and one of them was The Adjusters from Chicago. Notably, unlike the large majority of their peers, The Adjusters were interracial and had a black frontman (Daraka Larimore-Hall, who would become secretary of the California Democratic Party), they had both male and female members, and they mixed their ska with other forms of black music, namely 1960s soul, R&B, and funk. They were a top-rate third wave ska band, but they weren't ska-punks, at all. However, The Adjusters did carry that long-held punk tradition of lefty politics in their lyrics, which is something the most marketed ska-punk bands at the time shied away from so as not to alienate anyone and potentially lose out on sales. As Michael Jordan once famously quipped, "Republicans buy sneakers, too."

The Adjusters made their debut in 1997 with The Politics of Style, and on that album is a song called "Our Town," which their label Jump Up! Records would retitle as "Our Town '98" when it was included on the label's sampler, Everything Off-Beat, Volume 2, the following year. AllMusic wound up giving The Politics of Style a rating of 4.5 out of 5 stars and its reviewer, Jo-Ann Greene, called it a masterpiece of a debut. But funnily enough, she also assumed that The Adjusters' lead singer wasn't black, stating that Daraka's "astonishing white-boy-really-got-soul vocals are unleashed to full effect." Talk about erasure, man. This lady just assumed that a guy named Daraka in a ska band was automatically white because of his voice. The tiniest amount of research would've told her otherwise. I know it was a white-dominated genre at the time, but Jesus fuck. And, yeah, the internet wasn't great then, but call Jump Up! Records or something before you make that kind of assumption. And the review is still up! Go take a look for yourselves! Unbelievable.

Anyway, on to this song. "Our Town" is a great track that does two cool things musically: one, it takes Daraka Larimore-Hall's scratchy, strainingly impassioned, and thin vocals that sound well-suited for a punk track and puts them atop a classic, rhythmically swaying ska backdrop in which the horn section performs the off-beat skanking rhythm; and two, the song also pits Larimore-Hall's singing against a choir of female backing vocals, which are elongated and fluffy and serve as a sweet, constant contrast to Larimore-Hall's lead.

On point and on message, The Adjusters also deliver us a song that excoriates capitalism's inherent lack of humanity. A nameless town has been decimated because its largest employer, the local mill, has been shut down. Now every family in the town is struggling to make ends meet because the mill's owner probably found a cheaper way to do things elsewhere or some vulture capitalist bought them out and is gutting the business. The striking one-line chorus, "you say you're God-fearing, but what do you know?" is less a cry for atheism than it is a calling out of the good ol' American way, which somehow has continued to blind its people by extolling the virtues of both capitalism and Christianity in the same breath. Jesus was a champion of the poor. Obviously, he would've railed against the decision to shut down the mill. It's really that simple. How America continues to get away with this scam is nothing short of stupefying. You shouldn't be able to have it both ways, but somehow, we've managed to pull it off. Good job, everyone!

Real ska with a real message and real heart. The third wave will largely be remembered for how dumb, silly, and fun it was as it mixed with punk's immaturity and let whiteness dominate, while bands like The Adjusters, who were way more true to ska's original roots than most other groups, will unfortunately not be remembered as being part of the same wave, despite their great contributions and efforts to diversify (by music, race, and gender) it. You hate to see it.