#but its really important to me personally that spitfire wins this

[senka-mesecine]

Could you pls make a list of headcanons of situations with his s/o that would make Barnes smile? Thank u

- wonderful gif by @woman-with-no-name

-

― When you act stubborn, spiteful or willful and you find your attempts to rile him up, win out over him in some shape, way or form or simply be a rebel thwarted by him. He just views the occasional spitfire attitude amusing, yes, mainly because he sees it as an empty, vague threat best laughed at by someone far stronger (him), but when it falls flat on its face because he's made you behave either through the sheer authority of his presence, his words or as much as a single look, he finds that one profoundly entertaining to the degree he might very well crown the occasion with a triumphant, almost taunting smile intended to challenge and tease. Mock. You can't win no matter how much you may try and that's funny to him. Call it The Taming of the Shrew starring Robert Barnes. It's not about the brattiness as much as the fact that you really think you stand a chance against him is comedic gold to him sometimes.

― God, speaking of which, Barnes being Barnes, if you say something particularly mean, either intended at him or someone else, he'll not only smile, he'll laugh in contended surprise because he'll feel he's rubbing off on you and influencing you, especially if meanness isn't in your general nature and you're legitimately a generally nice person (which compared to him isn't hard) but once in a blue moon something foul and nasty slips past your mouth, a frustrated cussword, an insult and there he is, perking up, because he's proud he's drawn the worst out of you, going against your better nature. A great many of the things that cause him joy have to do with your corruption and seeing you occasionally be the bastard he usually is a primetime reason to smile. Notwithstanding the fact that the contrast is precious in his eyes. Him being a bastard suits him and he's fully embraced that. You doing so? It's worthy of a smile because it's a novelty.

― In the aftermath of doing something truly horrible and shocking regardless of what that may something may be, when you're exasperated and dismayed with him, chances are Barnes will smile at your bafflement because he cultivates the raw emotion out of you like a rare fuel or drug that keeps him high, usually not a twinge of regret in him. Actually, the fact you in particular are so shocked and morally outraged with him makes him all the more glad he's did a figurative bad thing, almost as a way of gloating over you with a grin days later, silently and wordlessly reminding you can neither do anything about it or stop it, or stop him because this is exactly who and what he is and he's effectively showing you; you can just bear witness to it and be passively horrified. It's not unlike a wolf bearing its bloodied fangs to you because it doesn't intend to hide its nature. In fact, it means to flaunt it.

― By extension...you attempting to preach him on ethics. He might actually sit there stoically, not really say anything and listen, following you with his eyes the entire time but if you get truly impassioned and into it, he could very well smile at that too because you're here genuinely preaching to the choir thinking you saying a lot of important words is going to change a grown man set in his ways and who believes in what he's doing through hell or high water; not that you're necessarily saying something he disagrees with. Or hey, maybe you are. But, that's beside the point. Fact that you're so zealous and fervent about this is what is the root cause of Barnes grinning like the Cheshire cat. People who are slightly impotent in their power talk, and people who wield the actual power, in his opinion, act. And you talking, giving him the lip and over philosophizing as much you are is cute to him.

― Weakness. Hear me out. In others? It might disgust him and come off as the ultimate insult, but if a significant other is weak compared to him? If they technically have the drive but lack the physical stamina to push through with something (and yet they refuse to give up?) it's worth of him cracking a grin because it's a clear reminder who the tough person in the relationship is. They can run, but they can't run fast or far enough. They can be pigheaded, but what is the point of being pigheaded faced with Barnes? They can have bravado, but their bravado is just them talking the talk and not walking the walk. Might not be funny at first but if it happens consistently it can get pretty damn amusing. To him, it's like watching a kitten with delusions of grandeur, convinced it's a tiger. He could watch you fall flat on your ass (literally and figuratively) all day and not be bored.

― Strength. Yep. Is it contradictive to the above statement? Perhaps, but then again, Barnes is a complex, often contradictive character. If his significant other is genuinely an unexpectedly tough cookie, whether mentally or physically, if they brave through something considered adversity, show unusual fortitude in whatever situation independently of him, if they're firm, have a good head on their shoulders and they're here standing on their own two feet Barnes might just privately beam up with a smile and this one unlike all the rest on this list could very well be intimate and just for him when nobody sees because he knew they had it in them all along and now he has tangible proof too. They're exactly who he thought they were or who they could become and he sees a tiny, rarely positive piece of himself in them and it's like a moment of recognition.

― During sex. Hey, very likely. You might be there begging, pleading and desperately sweating it out because it's round god knows which at this point, you're dead exhausted, feeling like you've been running a drill exercise and you still haven't finished, pretty much caught in a flurry of dry, heaving orgasms because he's not letting you reach a peak and as you placate with him to allow to you cum he might just give you the evilest, most wickedest smile you've ever seen him with in response to all the whining and moping because he relishes torturing you. It's on his authority that you're either released or not released and the notion is stupendously diverting. Mind you, Barnes won't randomly smile at the first sign of you begging. No ma'am, no siree, he'll draw it out to great lengths and be at his most serious for the major duration of it all and it's only when you're at your most defeated and broken is when he takes time to sneer and goad.

― Generally, to conclude things, most things Barnes smiles at as a whole or in relation to his significant other aren't things most commonplace people would smile at because for the lack of a better way to describe it, I imagine his sense of humor is genuinely fucked up and borderline weirdly erudite and darkly deep when you start analyzing it. The nail thinking it should stick out before it gets inevitable hammered down is funny, headstrongness being disciplined is funny, the weak conquered by the strong and brought to heel is funny and the notion the machine is gonna keep running regardless how many obstacles it has to chew down in its wake is also funny, by extension, anything his significant other does that is contrarian in regards to him is also smile-worthy to Barnes precisely because it falls under this very dichotomy. It's the ultimate inside joke he has with himself. You're his and he owns you any attempt to fight or argue that irrefutable truth like it can even be changed is hilarious at times.

[themonotonysyndrome]

REDACTED verse - Another day in Dahlia

Summary: When worlds collide, Aaron and Smartass has the ‘old, married couple’ moment when a wolf is loose in a hypermarket. 

-

Dahlia is lively today, the afternoon sunlight dazzling upon the city. Familiar faces, familiar sights and familiar roads are everywhere. 

And yet, the man who couldn’t stop bickering with his lover since the two of them stepped out of IKEA is a changing man living in this familiar city. 

Aaron likes to think that he retains his best qualities despite the passing of time. Firm, true and level-headed - traits that have served him well both in his personal and work life. Traits that have earned him recognition, achievements and praises. However, against a fiery soul housed within an infuriating yet gorgeous body, Aaron has never felt so breathless and helpless. 

And most importantly, lovestruck. 

Unstable and uncharacteristically hesitant, the pieces of himself that are held together with patience have been pulled apart by its seams. But they weren’t destroyed; no, they rearrange themselves into an amazing new form. Aaron isn’t quite yet certain what that new form brings, but already, he could feel himself grow into a man that wholly compliments his lover. 

Like a planet revolving around a beautiful, bright star. He can’t help but be drawn by the star’s gravity. 

There’s balance between them, despite their strong-willed personalities. They sooth the other when one burns too brightly, they offer guidance when the other is unsure. Balanced and happy, that’s what they are. 

There’s never emptiness when silence envelops them. Isn’t there a saying that whenever you’re with your loved one, silence is never oppressive? 

Although, to be fair, silence doesn’t last long whenever they’re together. Not when there’s always something to bicker, something to discuss and something to tease about. 

Case in point, the ugly as fuck lamp that Aaron fought tooth and nail to convince his partner not to buy. 

“Look, it’s not even your money; I was going to use mine for it!” 

“It’s not about the money, Smartass.” Aaron replies back with a roll of his eyes. They’re at the parking lot getting ready to head off to the hypermarket next. The two of them had spent four hours of furniture shopping at IKEA after his Smartass made an offhand comment last week about his couch being way too old and lumpy for gaming nights and movie marathons. 

But before either of them realise it, what was supposed to be a simple couch purchase turned into perusal of dining tables, desks and floor lamps. Aaron got them back on track when you excitedly pulled him towards that last part.

Aaron had never before questioned your taste in furniture before but at that point, he starts to draw the line at a red, human shaped floor lamp. It bows slightly with the most creepy smile he had ever seen on a statue before. 

“I just don’t want to have a heart attack everytime I wake up, alright? You wanted it in our bedroom, beside our bed and it’s creepy beyond all reason.” 

“It’s functional though.” 

“So were the other floor lamps.” Aaron easily pointed out. He opened the car door and waited, unamused, for you to get in. Unfortunately, judging by how your arms folded across your chest in a stubborn pose, his spitfire didn’t want to drop their conversation. 

“What if I put it in the living room?” You suggest instead, the familiar defiant spark made itself known. 

Aaron held himself back from groaning in despair. Why are you so hung up about that lamp!? “I don’t think it’ll fit with the… aesthetic of our house, OK?” He tried the tactical approach first, knowing that a straight up no would not pacify his partner at all. “How about this; we’ll go with your couch and desk and my preference for the dining table. There. Is that good enough for you, Your Highness?” 

You purse your lips, but the both of you know that you’re not so hung up about the floor lamp to drag this argument any further. Aaron wisely chooses not to comment how your lips slowly curve into a smile. 

“Fine. I’ll let you win this round - ”

“Oh my god - ”

“But in return, I’ll be taking over for lunch later.” 

Aaron immediately shut his mouth, surprise and secretly a little giddy that his Smartass had taken the initiative of making a meal for them. That lasted for about a split second before something dawn onto him. 

“You want free reign at the hypermarket later, right?” 

This time, you beam happily but say nothing as you finally slip inside of the Mercedes. And as usual, silence spoke louder than words. Aaron exhales loudly, not knowing whether to laugh or mutter a curse. Trust in his lover to have the final say, ultimately. 

But that’s one of the many reasons why he fell so hopelessly in love with you. 

-

The hypermarket is busy for a Saturday. Smartass pointed at the sales and promotions board display in big letters and numbers when the two of you entered the building, hand in hand. Ah, that makes sense. Children run about clutching snacks in their little hands to convince their exasperated parents into buying, worned out staff restock empty shelves and the scent of fresh produce and floor detergents clings in the air. A familiar sight. 

“How do you feel about crabs?” Smartass begins the conversation. Aaron doesn’t understand why you bother asking him when you’re already dragging him towards the cold, seafood area. Aisles of fresh fish of all kinds are clearly displayed for visitors, the more expensive kind are packaged and a few men are working behind the butcher service counter. 

“I can go for some crabs. It’s been a while anyway.” Aaron answered, grabbing a nearby stack of baskets for their grocery. He tried to recall the last time they had any seafood and his mind helpfully supplied a restaurant where they went to for dinner in March. 

He lets you gather your thoughts as you stare at the frozen crabs critically as if they were spreadsheets. “I’m thinking of rice with a side of buttery crab meats, Salmon sashimi, Shiitake soup and lotus root salad. Sounds good?” 

As soon as he invited his Smartass to permanently move in with him, you had totally taken over the kitchen. Apparently you weren’t terribly amused when he admitted that he’s not much of a cook but hey, he never once complained when you served the best homemade vegan burgers with a glare and a silent, “Go ahead. I dare you to say that they taste like shit. Make my day, Aaron.” 

So instead, after he cleaned their dishes, Aaron proceeded to throw his lover on their bed to thoroughly thank you for the meal. 

Four hours later, the flushed and surprised expression on your face was so worth it. 

But we’re getting off tangents here. 

“Sounds absolutely delicious.” Aaron replied and startled his Smartass with a sudden kiss on your cheek. “Now stop glaring at the crabs and pick some already. We have half of the ingredients back home and I’d rather not spend the rest of our remaining Saturday in the hypermarket. So let’s get to it.” 

Smartass hum in agreement and grab your own basket. Together, they made quick work of what they needed to buy. Not just for lunch, but for the upcoming weeks too. Crabs, Salmons, some meat and later pea sprouts, red cabbages and lotus root - the both of them are more inclined to healthy meals rather than take outs and it really helps that Smartass suggest preparing ingredients that they could cook for the rest of the week, given their busy work lives. Vegetable dishes are flexible and easy enough to cook into anything anyway. 

They moved on from the frozen, seafood aisles and the produce section to where the personal care products are. Aaron holds up his phone in between them so Smartass could check what’s next on the list. 

“Oh shit. I totally forgot that my shampoo and conditioners just ran out.” Smartass blurted. “Thanks for adding that into our grocery list.” 

Aaron scoffs. “You mentioned it twice during dinner last night - in between debating whether or not Game of Thrones is better than Lord of the Rings, mind you - so I can understand why you forgot” Colourful rows of shampoo bottles greeted them when they walk past a couple who’s pushing their trolley carts away from the shelves. He grabs your favourite brand and places them in his basket. “You’re brilliant, Smartass, but I can’t help pity that poor hamster living in your brain for having to run in its ball all day long.” 

You gasp, affronted, while Aaron laughs at the look on your face. Even smacking his arm did nothing to stop his laughter. “You’re too easy to rile up sometimes, you know that Smartass?” He smirks and grabs a toothpaste next. They’re running low on that too. In retaliation for his remark, Smartass sneakily pulled that toothpaste out when Aaron was checking his phone and chose the one with the strawberry flavour instead. 

When Aaron shot you an inquisitive look, you just smiled innocently and quickly distracted him by insisting that they need to get some snacks. 

“That reminds me, it’s not on the list but we have to buy ramune soda. Oh, and some potato chips too.” You pointed out as the two of you rounded away from a large family who stopped in between the body wash shelves and hair serums. “Have you noticed that we go through ramune sodas like crazy lately?” 

The snacks and beverage section is one of the highlights of this hypermarket, in Aaron’s humble opinion. Not only do they have an abundance of the local goods, they also have a wide selection of some really good imported snacks or as Aaon like to call it, your ultimate weakness.  

“Yeah but be honest, are you really going to stop your addiction anytime soon?” 

“What is this? Bully me day?”

���Hey, you’re the one who said it, not me, Smartass.” Aaron is quick to quip back and this time, you roll your eyes. Even if it’s true, it doesn’t mean that you have to like it. 

But that’s Aaron - his words always serve a meaning and come straight from the heart when it’s for the things that truly matter. It’s annoying and yet, it’s one of his best qualities. 

However, just as you were about to rebuke him, the two of you heard a passing conversation nearby the soda shelves. 

“ - not going to play bartender at home again, Angel. Why not? Alright then; let me jog your memory, hmm? The last time I left you alone in the kitchen for more than 3 hours, you came out carrying a tray with the embodiment of everything unholy on this planet separated into three shot glasses.” 

“It was just ramune soda mixed with rose syrup, grass jelly and vinegar!” 

“Asher had a stomach ache for a week, Angel.” 

“But Davey, how do you expect me to get better at it if you don’t let me practice? See? There’s a flaw in your plan!” 

“I’d rather we go to a bar the next time you’re in the mood to poison the both of us.” 

You didn’t mean to eavesdrop on their conversation but you couldn’t help snicker at the stranger’s very much put out and deadpan tone. It gives an implication that this isn’t the first time this ‘Angel’ did something as crazy as mix sodas with vinegar. Hell, even the man’s comment earned a soft chuckle from Aaron. 

“Sounds like he got quite a handful lover over there. Remind you of someone?” Aaron whispered. They couldn’t properly see the couple due to a stack of Dorito boxes in between them but you could spot a tall man wearing a pretty nice looking leather jacket and his partner beside him.

“If you’re implying that I’m unreasonably difficult - ”

“No, no. Just… hmm, passionately stubborn, I suppose.” Aaron nonchalantly replies with a smirk. He guffaws when you poke at his sides and spin around to the rows of ramune with a dramatic huff. Aaron easily follows suit with a fond smile. 

This section of the aisle is quiet unlike the previous ones that’ve been, Aaron noticed. The humming of the air conditioner above them and the crinkling of a plastic bag of chips in Smartass’ hand were the only sounds that broke the comfortable silence. Even the murmurs from the other couple melts into background noises the further Aaron and his walk away. 

That is, until a hair-raising snarl shattered the quietness. 

What’s worse, it sounded like a wolf. 

Aaron reacted instinctively. He opted for the defense - grabbing his Smartass’ free hand, pulling you close to him. His searching eyes are frantic while his mind is trying to make sense that a wolf is somehow in this hypermarket. Full of people. What the fuck!?

Smartass, however, opted for the offense. You grab the nearest glass bottle by the neck and were about to smash it against the metal shelf if it weren’t for Aaron’s quick thinking. He immediately grabs your wrist and shoots you an incredulous look. Silently judging your choices in life. 

‘You have a better idea on how to deal with a fucking wolf!?’ Smartass demanded in silence. Your expression is bewildered; as if you couldn’t believe that Aaron wouldn’t let you shank an unknown threat just around the corner. 

In return, Aaron pulls you closer to his body and glares out, ‘I’m not letting you throw yourself in front of a wolf!’

‘I’m protecting us!’ Smartass countered back, glaring just as heatedly. 

A sweet giggle suddenly interrupted their mental argument. Their hearts skip a beat in fear at the unknown. 

“Ok, ok. How about this, Davey: I'll let you dress me up when we go to the bar tomorrow. How’s that? Does that make my Wolf not jealous anymore?” The same voice they accidentally eavesdropped previously bargained in a teasing tone. 

Smartass and Aaron exchange a bewildered and confused glance. What the fuck did they just said? My Wolf? Was the realistic animal snarl came from the boyfriend!? He must’ve some serious vocal cords and throat to be able to make that sound!

Aaron exhales loudly while Smartass allows him to grab the glass bottle that you were still holding to put it back on the shelf. 

“I think I just lost five years of my life.” Aaron complains.

Smartass said nothing. Without even saying anything, you march to where the couple are. Aaron curses under his breath and quickly chases after you. 

The man in the black leather jacket and his partner glanced at his Smartass when you approached them with a practised smile. One that Aaron knew meant trouble. How could he not when he’s the receiving end of that smile more than he could count. 

When Smartass wants answers, you’ll do everything in your power to get it and Aaron is really not looking forward to wrangling his partner from starting a brawl in the middle of a damn hypermarket. 

“Hi there.” His Smartass began, your body language deceptively open and friendly. “Are you two alright?” 

“Eh?” The one standing beside the tall, frowning man replies with a blink. Upon closer inspection, Aaron realises that he and what looks to be the leader of a local gang are similar in built. 

“Can we help you?” The gang leader interjects. He’s frowning but he doesn’t appear angry. Just confused like his partner. Though he nodded in greeting when Aaron slid up beside Smartass. 

“Didn’t you hear that noise just now?” Smartass plays shock. “It sounded like someone released a wolf in the hypermarket!” 

The man in the leather jacket suddenly looked like he just sucked a lemon; his eyes are comically wide. Meanwhile, his partner’s eyes are equally as wide. Aaron detects a hint of realisation glint in their eyes. Now isn’t that interesting? 

Well, Smartass thought so too. You pressed on. “You heard it too right? Damn near give me a heart attack! I wonder if the nearby staff also heard it - ”

“It’s probably the ventilation system or something.” The gang leader quickly replied, his expression oddly shifted to neutral. Beside him, his partner opens their mouth to say something but he quickly presses his palm over it. They throw a pointed look at him but he resolutely ignores it. “Anyway, good luck with your grocery shopping.” 

Aaron watches him grab his partner by the hand and gently drag them away. It was only when they’re out of sight that they started furiously chatting. 

“Wow, Davey, your slip up was even worse than Asher’s!” 

“We’re so not telling him about this, Angel.” 

“...Does this mean I can tell Babe instead?” 

“Wha - No, that wasn’t an invitation to tell his Mate!” 

Aaron turns to Smartass who just shrugs. Neither of them could figure out what just happened. He’s just glad that you let them escape. 

“Maybe they have some really kinky roleplaying thing going on.” Smartass guessed, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively. 

Aaron runs his palm down his face in exasperation. “I don’t give a shit, Smartass. Can we please just finish up our grocery shopping already? I’m starting to get hungry.” 

“Alright, alright. We just have to grab a few more things and then we can pay.” Smartass assured him and off they continued on their way. 

Though neither of them still couldn’t help but wonder how the hell that man managed to sound like a wolf so accurately. 

Kinky roleplay or not. 

-

I’m tentatively planning to make this into a mini series including the rest of the non-empowered characters with their lovers. I’m already writing for Oliver and Baby so we’ll see how that goes! 

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ REVOLTING PEOPLE / 3.03 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

‘he made his fortune selling false identities to deserting soldiers.’

‘notice the nymphs clustered around his solid gold false leg.’

‘he had sixty-two mistresses.’

‘he died at one hundred and twelve from sexual exhaustion.’

‘how very exciting for you. now, moving on.’

‘you can talk to these two large men about it while they throw you violently down the front steps.’

‘oh, i was having this lovely dream.’

‘what did you go and wake me up for?’

‘most people snore.’

‘it sounds like a dying bullock being sawn in half by a whistling madman.’

‘you mean you’ve witnessed a dying bullock being sawn in half by a whistling madman?’

‘please don’t start any of your lurid anecdotes.’

‘if you disrupt us again i shall come out and personally set fire to your leg.’

‘she’s a spitfire, isn’t she?’

‘with her sparkling eyes, and radiant breasts...’

‘i think they’re now man and wife in name only, if you know what i mean.’

‘he’s had to put his wedding tackle back in its box.’

‘when you find a metaphor, you really like to run with it, don’t you?’

‘there was always going to be a problem of compatibility.’

‘i don’t think her having a bunch of children by other men helped.’

‘that sort of thing doesn’t help a marriage.’

‘almost 1% of marriages now end in divorce.’

‘oh alright, but make it quick. and try not to create any more laundry.’

‘what is it you are writing?’

‘let me see what you’re writing.’

‘novella’s are the devil’s sweetmeats!’

‘throbbing?!’

‘no, wait! i haven’t finished yet.’

‘i’m so disgusted i can barely read on! what does that say?’

‘those two paragraphs there, they are profane! and that one is obscene, and that one... it’s physically impossible!’

‘he must know that she has accepted this commission from beelzebub!’

‘it’s probably best if i hang onto these.’

‘every time my kids have trouble with their relationships, somehow i feel like it’s my fault.’

‘i feel like i’m a failure. a total failure.’

‘just feel free to jump in at any point here and reassure me, tell me i’m not being too hard on myself.’

‘but you’re not. you’re a failure.’

‘i’ve known failure, but it doesn’t bother me.’

‘as i always say: failure is just the foreplay that leads to the orgasm of success.’

‘when do you say that? i’ve never heard you say that.’

‘it’s not an easy thing to drop into conversation.’

‘why’ve you got that crooked smile?’

‘oh, i see. you want to fix it.’

‘i got a bad feeling.’

‘it’s foolproof!’

‘hallu-hallay!’

‘i’m gonna win the log-chopping contest.’

‘his hamster has just died.’

‘he hasn’t got over it. i’m not sure he ever will.’

‘he’s grief-stricken.’

‘i just can’t think of anything that would cheer him up.’

‘i’ve thought of something!’

‘a dead hamster is more important than a log-chopping contest.’

‘i think that’s the most profound thing i’ve ever heard.’

‘golly, i never said profound stuff before.’

‘don’t mention the hamster; it’ll probably just set him off.’

‘you have a lovely nature that people can rely on.’

‘when you can rely on that, that’s because it’s reliable.’

‘it doesn’t seem right, exploiting his good nature like this.’

‘i suppose god wouldn’t have given him such a lovely nature if he didn’t want it to be taken advantage of.’

‘oooh, i just went all goosey.’

‘we’re just laughing at the thought of a man with a broom sticking out of his arse.’

‘it was all about.. intelligence.’

‘that sounds alarming.’

‘you can go in if you want.’

‘i tried to join in and they started discussing philosophy, and i felt out of my depth.’

‘oh, don’t be embarrassed by your ignorance; i never have been.’

‘at least you’ve attended the university of life.’

‘once you’ve seen one wonder, you’ve seen em all.’

‘the sistine chapel is too arty?’

‘i’m no intellectual.’

‘i don’t want to interrupt them.’

‘here is the big question: do we kill them in their sleep or ambush them in the woods?’

‘that has the makings of a great slogan! write that down.’

‘power comes from the barrel of a gun.’

‘read my lips: no more taxes.’

‘you are on fire tonight!’

‘it’s what must be done.’

‘excuse me! would anyone like tea and biscuits?’

‘it’s the economy, stupid.’

‘you’re new, aren’t you?’

‘i have a cold.’

‘so the mona lisa’s a disappointment as well?’

‘there’s nothing enigmatic about that smile. if you ask me, it’s just wind.’

‘i bring you grim tidings.’

‘sorry, i stopped listening once i realised who was talking.’

‘i wish i could read.’

‘it’s depraved, isn’t it?’

‘it’ll bring shame on this family.’

‘strumpet. one of my favourite words.’

‘the very idea is absurd.’

‘why would my wife’s head be full of naked, writhing bodies?’

‘think it’ll snow later?’

‘i’ll deal with my errant daughter in my own way, thank you.’

‘now if you’ll excuse me, i’m afraid i have to slam the door in your face.’

‘and then i’m going to bet the house on a log-chopping contest.’

‘don’t talk. i haven’t walked all these miles to listen to your windbaggery.’

‘if a monkey learns to dance, does it stop being a monkey?’

‘i don’t understand that. did you understand that?’

‘i understood ‘ta-ta’.’

‘dry you damned laundry, dry!’

‘he seemed to really enjoy them. he kept making these little squealing noises.’

‘are you alright for money?’

‘you can’t tar people and then not do the feathers. that way anarchy lies.’

‘anarchy is the banana in the fruit salad of failure.’

‘give me liberty of give me chocolates!’

‘man is, by nature, a political animal.’

‘well, what do you know. someone taught the monkey to dance.’

‘i’m being intellectual so that i’ll be less of an embarrassment to you.’

‘you’re doing this to be /less/ of an embarrassment?’

‘i like you just the way you are.’

‘i like my men basic.’

‘they don’t come more basic than you.’

‘i’ll just get the tea and biscuits then, shall i?’

‘will you stop looking at me like that? it’s not my fault!’

‘he tried to saw his own head off.’

‘he’s just big-hearted.’

‘that was a bit reckless.’

‘you said it couldn’t fail!’

‘you seem very relaxed about it.’

‘i wouldn’t do that if i was you.’

‘that’s a shiny bayonette.’

‘the blade’s a little cold against my throat like that.’

‘no no, let me. i’ll slam it in my own face as i leave.’

‘i can’t allow that.’

‘we’re sucking on a huge money-tit here!’

‘i guess the lord wouldn’t have blessed her with a talent for writing pornography if he didn’t want it to be used.’

[aeon-borealis]

If you could write the Alejandro one off that’d be great! But if you do honeymoon, throw in some nsfw ;) jk jk

NOTE: As promised, here is the follow-up. I didn’t include any big NSFW, but there are a few Stargate references no one asked for! For anyone that missed the first part: Heather’s Time-Warpy Experience.

Alejandrohad been especially wary of scoping out the halls near Chris’quarters, let alone the plane cockpit after the challenge in London.Ruse or not, he had been so startled it’d shaken hisself-confidence a bit. As someone who liked to believe he could win agame of fourth dimensional chess, Alejandro didn’t take it lightlywhen someone managed to successfully trick and gain the upper handover him. That’s exactlywhy a certain mean raven-haired beauty was on his radar (and hecouldn’t deny he had other non-game related hopes for her as well).

Buthe couldn’t let his hair-on-its-end instincts stop him from gettingwhat could be incredibly useful intel. The kind of intel that couldmake or break his success on this stupid show. Heplayed by the rules for the most part, but he wasn’t above finding,exploiting, and pushing the envelope with loopholes or “convenientlyacquired” pieces of information.

Sohe took a deep, calmingbreath, then slowly crept along the wall towards Chris’ quarters.As he crept closer, he heard at least three different voices: Chris’all-too-familiar snark, a slightly deeper baritone, and a morereserved, soft-spoken voice. Alejandro sneaked a few glances aroundfor Chef’s larger, imposing form. While he’d been able to smoothtalk his way out of the past few times he hadbeen caught skulkingaround here, he just couldn’t shake the feeling this time was goingto be very different. MaybeChris was cracking down on Chef a bit more?

Whenhe didn’t see Chef anywhere, he steeledhimself again and stealthilyslipped under the doorknob. Thenhe peered through thecomically convenient keyhole. 

Therewas Chris, leaning as far back in his luxury recliner as he couldwhile one of his poor interns massaged his feet. A man with a buzzcut and a fully decorated military uniform leaned on the wall nearestto the recliner. While his uniform gave off the impression of a veryimportant authoritative figure, his expression carried the sameobnoxious nonchalance Chris’ expression usually held. That aloneunnerved Alejandro. If Chris was borderline psychotic with what kindof legal ambiguity he had access to as a famous reality TV show host,Alejandro could only imagine how much worse he might be as a hard-assmilitary general. Just the passing daydream was enough to sendshivers down his spine and threaten nightmares worse than the realityof the idiotic Owen as a teammate.

Tohis disappointment, Alejandro couldn’t quite see the third figurein the room. Every so often, he saw the dull brown glint of the rimson a pair of glasses and sporadically moving hands, but that was it.He turned his attention towards eavesdropping, waiting for a goodpoint to start at least trying to piece together what the ongoingdiscussion was.

“…timesdo I have to say it’s dangerous?!”The soft-spoken man complained.

Chrisand the military man chuckled.

“That’spart of the fun!” Chris brayed enthusiastically.

“Theteens on this show have dealt with worse and they’ve all signedpretty iron-clad contracts,” the military man added.

“General,with all due respect, I am part of the classified project that dealtwith some of the artifacts in that warehouse. I waspretty appalled by how many broken and sparking pieces I came across.I almost sprained my ankle just trying to climb around piles ofjunk!”

“Iwonder if somebody will die…” Chris stroked his chin thoughtfullywith a sinister glint in his beady eyes.

Thatwas enough to make Alejandro shiver as if he’d been hit with an icygust from Antarctica itself.

“It’llbe impressive if they make it past security alone.”

Chrisgrinned like a kid in a candy store. “Ratings are gonna be throughthe roof! I can feel it.”

“Ihave another surprise in store, too.” The military man smiled withsimilarly fiendish delight.

“Tellme! Tell me!” Chris squealed.

Alejandrosuppressed a sigh when the military man leaned in and whisperedsomething to Chris. As much as he strained to listen, Alejandro onlyheard Charlie Brown “wah wah” noises and watched Chris becomethat much more eager.

“Willyou guys listen for one damn minute?!” The soft-spoken man raged.

“Iknow, I know. Dangerous tech endangering lives. Yada, yada….”Chris rolled his eyes.

“Ireally wish they’d sent that little spitfire Samantha instead ofyou,” the generalmuttered.

“Sinceyou both have such disgusting disregard for human life, especiallychildren at that.”The soft-spoken man stood up and folded his hands. “Allow me to putthis in a way you’ll understand: There are highly classifiedartifacts in that warehouse. Artifacts that even General McClean haslimited clearance and knowledge of. I don’t care how iron-clad yourcontracts are or what clearance you already have. Step foot in thiswarehouse. Find one of these artifacts and have it show up on camera.You’ll be facing some pretty dire consequences. Thrown in prisonfor the rest of your natural-born life consequences.”

Alejandro’seyes widened at the name “McClean.” That explained a lot here.

Thegeneral cleared his throat and folded his arms behind his back,trying to appear professional. “Daniel, I had a team thoroughlysniff out those artifacts this morning. You’re only here to signoff on everything and give me the go-ahead.”

Therewas a beat of silence as Daniel fished something out of his pantspocket. Alejandro couldn’t quite make out the details from this farof a distance, but it looked like a small golden locket with a brightred gem in the center. Daniel cleared his throat while GeneralMcClain’s face turned bright red.

“Thoroughly?”Daniel sighed. “I found this the minute I walked in!”

“That…?”General McClain stomped over and snatched the weird locket fromDaniel’s hands. “That’s a bauble I got for my niece’sbirthday. She’s a big fan of this kind of old…antique-ystuff!”

“Uh-huh.You conveniently got her a present that looks exactly like somethingfrom the dossier .”

Chrissnickered and folded his arms behind his head, obviously enjoying theshow.

“Igot it two weeks ago.” General McClain replied haughtily.

“Where’dyou get it?” Daniel was in full view now. He was surprisingly leanand muscular for a bookish type with slightly ruffled brown hair.Sweat was dripping down General McClain’s face to the point hemight need a few buckets. The more nervous he appeared, the angrierDaniel became.

Suddenly,Daniel’s pocket buzzed. He pulled out his cell phone andimmediately stalked to the other side of the room. “Now isn’t avery good time…”

GeneralMcClain dabbed at his forehead with his arm. Gritting his teeth, heshot a look at the weird bauble in his hand, then ran a hand throughhis hair. Rolling his eyes, Chris snatched it away. The reality TVshow host took one look at it before hefting it towards the door withas much strength as he could muster.

Secondslater, Alejandro felt something lightly bump against the toe of hisboot. He looked down and was surprised to find the weird locket lyingthere. He heard the general and Chris arguing, but it all becamemuffled background noise as he gingerly scooped up the locket to takea closer look. It wouldn’t hurt to try and develop some better ideaof what this bizarre object was before squirreling it away andreturning to his team. The more he could figure out here and now, thebetter an advantage he’d have later.

Smirkingto himself, Alejandro idly ran his thumb around the circumference ofthe strange artifact. Upon closer inspection, there were twoconcentric rings around the beautiful red gem. The ringsfeatured various Egyptianhieroglyphs. Admittedly, Alejandro’s knowledge of ancient Egyptianart and hieroglyphs wasn’t as up to par as he’d like, but none ofthe symbols looked like anything he had ever studied personally. Thesymbols were utterly alien to him. Carefully, he ran a finger overthe hieroglyphs, in turn rotating the ring on front-

-Alejandrofelt himself lurch forward slightly. The world around him blurredcrazily in what appeared to be a wobbling, almost hallucinogenichaze. After a few dizzying moments, Alejandro found himself floatingout in space. He felt like hewas weightless and drifting about aimlessly like a fisherman’sbobber. Moments later, the nameless, hypothetical fisherman starteddrawing in his line at a breakneck speed. Cringing, Alejandrosqueezed his eyes tightly shut.

Therewere a few moments of darkness and silence. Then he felt a lightsqueeze on his upper arm. Hehesitated, wondering if he’d fallen unconscious or experienced someother bizarre episode. He took a deep breath, feeling slight reliefwhen he heard his steady heartbeat. Now he was ready to wake up inthe crap-tastic makeshift infirmary in the plane: He could alreadysee the worn-outcouch and the worrying duct tape pieces slapped over mystery holes inthe pale yellow wall.

“Alejandro…?”His arm was squeezed again. And he immediately recognized that voice.Both his heartbeat and hormones took off like a dual pair of rockets.Maybe his infirmary trip would be more pleasant than he otherwisebelieved.

Grinninggiddily and preparing for snarky banter, he finally opened his eyes.

“Areyou okay?” Heather leaned closer towards him, her expression a mixbetween concerned and mildly irritated.

“Iam now,” Alejandro replied, putting on his most charming smile.“I’m waking up to an angel.”

Heatherlaughed, rolled her eyes, and playfully hit his shoulder. Thatreaction set off alarm bells and Alejandro took a closer look atHeather. She looked mucholder: she had a fuller figure, a naturally confident set to hershoulders and brow rather than forced, and other details Alejandrocouldn’t accurately pin down or describe unless he took the time tothink it over. But those details were significantly differentnonetheless.

Inaddition, she was wearing a…wedding dress. A form-fitting,high-fashion, glitter and sequin-covered wedding dress. The dress wasalmost tacky but in style enough that Heather justified her choiceswith her bold personality. Alejandro felt his face burn up as herealized just how many little things he’d picked out about her.Yes, he had a laundry list of obscure, ridiculous details about allof the contestants, but the more he learned about Heather inparticular, the stronger his rose-tinted glasses.

“You’reblushing!” Heather leaned towards him and pinched his cheek. “Aww,you’re so cute when you’re vulnerable.”

“W-what?”He couldn’t help it. Alejandro had completely lost his composure inthis surreal situation. And he was losing more as he drank in more ofhis surroundings.

“Scaredof your first official night as Mr. Heather?” She teased, running afinger along his collar bone.

Swallowinghard, Alejandro was very, uncomfortably aware of the canopy bed withgold satin sheets and matching curtains. The bedroom itself wasequally high-end luxury: the walls were aquariums full of variousexotic and colorful fish. A potted palm tree sat in one corner nextto a plush velvet armchair and an old-school record player.

“Ah…giveme a moment to collect myself?” Alejandro managed.

“Yeah.”Heather chuckled as she carefully climbed off of the bed and stoodup. “I want to be seduced tonight, Alejandro. Level 10 of yourspecial charm, got it?”

“Yes,ma’am.” Alejandro swallowed again. In his mind’s eye, his facewas an even darker shade of red than before. The same shade as thefreshest, ripest tomatoes in Mama’s little garden out back.

Nervously,Alejandro watched as Heather sashayed towards the record player.There was only one record and his heart sank deeper in his chestbecause he knew exactly what it was. It cemented the legitimacy ofthis bizarre daydream. There was one song in the universe that hookedhim and pierced him right through the heart. This one song drew outevery sappy, saccharine emotion in his body. He swore it’d be themost romantic thing ever to make love to someone he washead-over-heels crazy for.

Thesong started up, and Alejandro closed his eyes while he let out along, slow breath. For a few moments, he let himself enjoy the rhythmof the song and get lost in this weird, but strangely welcomeself-indulgent dream. Because it was just a dream. And because it wasjust a dream, he could thoroughly enjoy what was about to happenconsequence and guilt-free…

“Al!Al! HEY AL!” Owen’s scratchy voice sliced through everythingworse than a record scratch.

Alejandro’seyes snapped open to the big buffoon grabbing him by the shouldersand shaking him like a salt shaker with little contents left.Thankfully, the big oaf stopped as soon as he realized Alejandro wasawake.

“Hey,buddy. I’m so glad you’re awake! Are you okay?” The wordstumbled out of Owen’s mouth in one big rush.

“Yes,”Alejandro growled through gritted teeth.

“I’mso glad!” Owen wailed, diving towards him and ensconcing him in atight bear hug. “I thought you died!”

Alejandrowas sure death was imminent from being snapped in half with everypassing moment and Owen squeezing that much tighter.

“Lethim go before you kill him, you big lug!” Heather cried.

“Oh…yeah…heheh….Sorry.”Owen immediately let go. Alejandro hit that dreaded worn-out couchwith a heavy thud.

AsAlejandro tried to collect himself and his bearings, he felt like thewind had been completely knocked out of his lungs now. His attentionzeroed in on Heather. This was his Heather: eternally grumpy, quickto anger, and mean to the core Heather. Currently, Owen was thetarget of her piranha-based ire. He cowered slightly, taking a stepback as she chewed him out, and Alejandro could swear he saw aglint of canines in her mouth.

“Alright,alright…” Owen snickered. “I’ll leave you alone with yourboyfriend.”

“He’snot my boyfriend!” Heather barked.

“Riigght.”Owen winked at Alejandro, clicked his tongue, and wiggled his browsobnoxiously as he bowed out of the room.

Heather’sdemeanor fell slightly once it was just her and Alejandro in theroom. Alone. The gravity of the situation pressed down on Alejandro.Normally, he’d take this opportunity to flirt very openly andobnoxiously with her, but that weird honeymoon dream was just toofresh in his mind. It was one thing letting his unconscious mind playwith such an absurd scenario. It was another thing entirely to belooking at the real Heather, thinking about their current standingand dynamic, and then worrying about how smitten he must be toentertain fantasies like that so soon.

Heatwas crawling up his face again. He desperately hoped he could justplay it off as a slight fever when Heather finally looked back up athim.

“So…youcame to check on me?” His tone didn’t have the flirty element hewanted. Instead he just sounded matter-of-fact.

“No!”Heather’s face was slightly red and her fists clenched. “As if. Iheard you were lurking around Chris’ quarters and faintedunexpectedly. I came to see what you’re up to.”

“Howsweet of you.” This time hewas able to bounce back to his usual bravado. But he couldn’t helpthe doubt prickling at the back of his mind as he remembered bits andpieces of the scene in Chris’ quarters.

“Seriously,Alejandro. I’ve got my eyes on you.” She folded her arms andglared.

“Idon’t mind,” Alejandro replied with a low, flirtatious growl.“I’m quite a sight to behold.”

“Shutup.”

Alejandrogiggled.

“SHUT.UP.”

“I’llbe fine, by the way.” Alejandro gingerly sat up, touching his ribsto make sure Owen hadn’t cracked anything.

“Areyou sure?” Heather asked despite herself. She even took a few stepscloser. “Owen’s a pretty big guy-”

“Aww…”Alejandro tilted his head back and batted his eyelashes at her.

“Guhh!You’re so insufferable!”

“Kissme better?” Alejandro made an exaggeratedly dreamy sigh.

Heatherplaced a palm in his face, then turned and stomped off withoutanother word.

Onceshe left and Alejandro couldn’t hear her retreating footstepsanymore, the room felt that much smaller and unbearably silent. Themore he thought about her, the more his heart started roaring in hisears and a blush crept up his face again. Images of her now flashedthrough his mind followed by visions of an older Heather.

Ifhe were a cartoon character, there’d be clouds of steam pouring outof his ears by now. He was thankful for the thin blanket covering hislegs. Wait? Where’d this blanket come from? He pulled up one cornerof it and blushed even harder at the name stitched onto one of thecorners in gold thread: Heather.

Suddenlyhe was gripped by an insatiable, irrational urge. The strange pendantentered his mind. He started pawing at his neck, finding only histrademark bull pendant. Then he rifled through all of the pockets inhis pants and even went so far as emptying out both of his boots.After that, he sprung up and pulled the couch apart, digging undercushions and picking through the holes and patches he could reach. Hestopped after a few minuteswhen he realized how foolish he might look and the fact that anyonecould walk into the room at any time.

Blowingout a long breath, he tuckedhis feet under his legs and ran his fingers through his hair, hatinghow hot his face was and trying to regain his composure. A strongsense of disappointment gripped him as he realized that Chris, Chef,or that Daniel guy had probably taken the pendant.

Therewas only one thing to do now: meditate on his long list of pettyschemes and pranks to pull on Owen. He just couldn’t focus on thegame right now because a lot of his plans were, of course, tied intostopping her…

[flickwatches]

OWL Season 2 Preseason Ranking

20. Toronto Defiant

I really wanted to put Washington here because I have no faith in that team.  But the Toronto has a main tank I’m unfamiliar with and Main Tanks were extremely important in OWL way before goats meta.  I see Neko and Envy and it really inspires me.  I see Bishop and I’m like wow.  But Bishop doesn’t really have a history of winning in Overwatch lately.  From London to Cloud9 he really hasn’t been producing W’s.  I like the roster a lot and maybe the meta shifts heavily in there favor but right now I don’t think Neko can fix a frontline issue.

19. Washington Justice

I do not like this roster.  The late addition (they were all late) of Gido and Ado really inspires me but if Ado wasn’t enough to get Shanghai 1 W than he won’t be enough in what mite possibly be a more difficult season. 28 games and more down time in between.  Well rested players, highly practiced, and prepared for there matches.  Janus is really strong in this lineup and so are the coaches.  I guess this roster would do pretty good in NA contenders. 

18. Chengdu Hunters

I don’t trust the roster or the process.  Highest level league play does something to teams with potential.  It chews them up and spits them out.  Maybe this is the good side of the Chinese scene that Shanghai never showed us in season 1.  I probably have them ranked too low but what the Dragons did in season 1 worries me. 

17.  Guangzhou Charge

Either this team will be surprisingly good or really bad.  It really depends on the coaching staff and how well they are supported by the org. A lot of there season depends on Rio and how well he works with the different players on the roster. They mite catch themselves halfway thru the season and start playing well. 

16. Florida Mayhem

I like the roster a lot.  I know BQB was accused of boosting but he’s extremely talented.  xepheR is really good. Solid DPS, decent tanks, good supports (hopefully way better than last year).  Coaching staff and org staff still seems really small.  They could surprise people depending on the meta.

15. Boston Uprising

Huk, Could be worst team in the league.  Three main tanks.  Poorly coached and managed.  Extremely talented players. 

14.Shanghai Dragons

I don’t want to rank them this low but I’m floating 3-4 teams around this spot.  They haven’t won a game in OWL yet.  Hopefully they have a nice schedule of lower level teams and they can produce some quality wins.  Org seems ready to commit this season so I expect huge problems will be scorched away quickly. 

13. Seoul Dynasty

Fissure is cool I guess.  They have a balanced roster, experienced team, and a schedule system that will highly benefit them.  Older players mite not listen to new in game leadership this far into there careers. I’m not very confident in there synergy and I wanted to rank them a few spots back.  They do have piles and piles of talent tho.  

12. San Francisco Shock

If we remove all the DPS players from the roster and look closely will see some problems.  Mid tier off tanks and mid tier main tanks.  New season same problem.  One of there main tanks need to play at a higher level.  Off tank can exist well enough if there main tank plays well enough.  Support trio could be strong depending on the meta. 

11. Houston Outlaws

I have my personal disagreements with how they play.  I’m a fan of them and they upset me from time to time.  In a goats meta having someone like Spree who can slide into that 2nd DPS spot and play Zarya is amazing.  They won’t use Spree like that.  Houston is going to fuddle thru the season and end up worse than 11th.  Could easily reach top 8 if they make good decisions before matches even start. They prepare pretty poorly and depend to heavily on classic 2/2/2 roster lineups to play the game.  Polar opposite of what the Eastern OW scene has been doing lately. 

10. Atlanta Reign

May have similar issues with Houston.  Roster has built in solutions to potential problems but the team mite not use them.  I’m very big on the roster even without Dafran.  Front line has synergy.  Backup Academy front line also has great synergy.  Supports are questionable but Academy support duo is extremely experienced and reliable.  DPS is very solid for a trio.  Has 1 map sub potential which can be very powerful in OWL.  Team is built to work no matter what.  Mite not be lead in right direction to succeed.  

9.  Los Angeles Valiant

There mistakes finally show up in there results.  Remember when “development” was a big part of there OW decision making???  Suddenly you have an APEX coach and his players are at the top of the roster. This team goes as far as Kariv can take them while covering every hole on the roster. Honestly if this team finishes top 4 with Kariv starting at DPS he’ll deserve OWL MVP.  \

8. Dallas Fuel

I’m very high on them and very low on them at the same time.  Added players, added coaching staff, re commitment to the team on a whole. Schedule change will be huge for them.  New season same problem.  What happens when a projectile meta happens???  They’ll be able to play it but main players who aren’t as good as the bench players will have to play or bench players will have to step into major roles.  Could cause problems with how well they’ll play this season.  Dallas and Seoul need to remember how to win to be successful again. 

7. Vancouver Titans

They will have problems.  May it be there org or just how there playing.  They will struggle.  But this team has too much experience and inner support to just fall apart.  Where the org or players fail the fans and team will pick up.   They won’t get this far and go down without a fight. The talent difference will start to show throughout the season but they will overcome it as a team. 

6. Los Angeles Gladiators

I got a little down on them but than I remembered how well they play.  The support trio will play well no matter what. Surefour will show up.  Decay and R0ar will show up.  Void should be better this season if they don’t want to play Bischu.  Will win games like they’ve been here before. 

5. Philadelphia Fusion

I got a little down on them.  I love what Elk will bring to the team but he’s just a Lucio.  Poko is the only off tank.  When will Eqo run out of talent?  Will they even play Fragi during goats meta?  But they are a force of nature.  Carpe won’t give up.  Much like the Gladiators they’ve been here before and it will show. 

4. Hangzhou Spark

 I am extremely high on this team.  And also a huge X6 Gaming fan.  Krystal and Godsb (a widow god).  Ria and Nosmite AND Guxue if they want to mix up the main tank role.  I love this roster and its potential.  Mite step into the league like NYXL. 

3. Paris Eternal 

Maybe I forgot to rank them a few spots ago and just put them here (maybe).  I was very high on France in the OWWC and was a little disappointed.  The roster and staff is fucking stacked to the roof.  From Kruise on Support leading the team, Main tanks Benbest and Lhcloudy, and to the stacked DPS lineup of Soon and Shadowburn.  If OWL ever goes into a Dive meta they will near the top. 

2. New York Excelsior 

Hmmm.  

Hmm.

Could be #1.  They have the roster to go 28-0.  But its 28 games will bigger breaks between games this season.  I like to think that benefits the next team the most. 

1. London Spitfire

Back to back champions?  Barely any change to the roster and that’s ok.  The biggest offseason addition was the change to the regular season format.  Strong new teams should challenge London but I knew a few will bow before the world champions.  Look out for a repeat.  

Conclusion

I wrote this far too fast and without enough research (LOL I guess).  I’ve watched a lot of Hangzhou Spark players already on X6 Gaming.  We already know how good some of these teams already are.  This is mostly speculation.  And meta shifts could turn this list upside down at any moment.  

[overwatchleaguereport]

Overwatch League: How to Pick Your Team

After a mouth-wateringly long wait, the Overwatch League preseason begins this week. Cue the drums and fanfare! But before we bust out the foam fingers, it is of vital importance that each fan picks a favorite team. Picking at random is not an option.

The OWL teams have marketed themselves in a fashion very similar to traditional sports teams. This has helped remind me that choosing a favorite team is of vital importance. My dad raised me to be a BYU Sports fan, and even though my interest in following their teams waned, I still got my degree from BYU. Since Overwatch League is in its first generation, the choice you make today may affect your family far into the future. You may take your children or even your grandchildren to the Overwatch World Cup. The decision you make today will have long-reaching consequences. Here are six different ways you can choose your future favorite OWL team, and choosing at random is not an acceptable option.

1. Ride the Bandwagon

This article will be really short if you like riding the bandwagon. Picking a favorite OWL team is easy for you, as you will root for the team that has the best chance of dominating their competition, no matter who it is or who else you rooted for earlier in the season. All you have to do is convince your friends you always supported the winning team. This is easily accomplished by buying twelve different jerseys with a different team logo each. Then, when your loyalties drift, you can swap out jerseys and tell your friends that their memories are mistaken, that you’ve always had this one jersey with that one team on it. If this is already your plan, then you can log off, satisfied you have this season in the bag.

2. Geography

Many sports teams find their fans within their home cities or even the surrounding area. If you are one of those lucky OWL fans with a team (or two) in your city, good for you! However, since there are only twelve Overwatch teams scattered all across the world, the odds of a team being in your city is slim.

Your next option is to choose the closest city. In my case, this is San Francisco. But I live in Utah, and I’ve never even been to California. The only things I know about San Francisco are what’s shown the movie Big Hero 6, and I’m sure that movie only got the city half right, anyway.

For some of you, this bullet point was helpful enough to help you choose your team. But if you’re like me, mere proximity isn’t enough to guarantee a lifelong, multi-generational fandom. Another solution besides picking at random has to be found.

3. Team Name

With twelve team names, it can be hard to narrow them down. Knowing that the myriad options are a veritable firehose, I created a list that successfully matches every possible demographic with best suited team name. I guarantee not a single person in the entire world will be left out by this list.

a. Choose Boston Uprising if you belong to an enterprising group of wise-cracking, well-meaning rebels out to tear down their oppressive empire.

b. ‎Choose Dallas Fuel if you work in the gasoline industry.

c. ‎Choose Florida Mayhem if you consider yourself the Junkrat of your friend group.

d. ‎Choose the Houston Outlaws if you love running from law enforcement in a chain gang.

e. ‎Choose the London Spitfire if your favorite historical figure is Winston (Churchill, not Gorilla).

f. ‎Choose the Los Angeles Gladiators if you are Spartacus.

g. ‎Choose the Los Angeles Valiant if you can list more than five of the classic Christian virtues off the top of your head.

h. ‎Choose the New York Excelsior if you love every single one of Stan Lee’s appearances in the Marvel movies.

i. ‎Choose the Philadelphia Fusion if you’re a nuclear physicist.

j. ‎Choose the San Francisco Shock if you’re a bad electrician.

k. ‎Choose the Seoul Dynasty if you are a fan of the 2017 soap opera reboot series.

l. ‎Choose the Shanghai dragons if you insist on playing a Dragonborn in every single one of your friend’s Dungeons and Dragons game.

And there you have it. Of all the conceivable demographics across the world, OWL managed to represent all of them with every team name. Unfortunately, I was not represented by any of these team names, so it’s on to a different method. Anything besides picking at random.

4. Team Colors

When looking at all the OWL team uniforms, you will likely see your favorite color, so long as your favorite color is adjacent to orange or blue.

Boston Uprising, Dallas Fuel, New York Excelsior, and London Spitfire are blue, different blue, third blue, and less blue blue, respectively. Philadelphia Fusion, Florida Mayhem, San Francisco Shock, and Shanghai Dragons are yellow-orange, red and yellow, orangest orange, and yellow-red. The Houston Outlaws and the Los Angeles Valiant are green and same green, and so the only two teams with any originality to their color scheme–Seoul Dynasty and Los Angeles Gladiators–stand out compared to the rest. Of course, if purple or black aren’t your colors, then you’re out of luck.

As for me, my favorite color is teal, so I am definitely out of luck. Even worse, because so many teams share color schemes, throwing a dart at a color wheel won’t help you pick out a favorite team, either. Thankfully, there are still more ways to pick an Overwatch team than just at random.

5. Favorite Streamer

A lot of OWL team members became well-known Overwatch personalities thanks to their YouTube and Twitch channels. If you’ve played Overwatch for any amount of time, you’ve likely stumbled upon one or more of these streamers as they completely and totally wreck their competition live in front of thousands of fans. If you can name a single Overwatch personality off the top of your head, then rooting for their team is probably the best option for you.

However, if you’re like me, you probably spent more time watching Unit Lost and Dabacabb–the perfect combination of strategy and hilarity–than watching the pros before their first official season. Also, you probably have a job where you aren’t able to watch streamers during work hours. As it is, I, and probably you, don’t have a favorite streamer to root for. There must be another option.

If you’ve read this far, then you must be feeling pretty desperate. “I’ve been reading this unhelpful article for ten minutes, and it hasn’t helped me figure out a better solution than picking at random!” Don’t worry, my good friend. We’re almost to the end, and I guarantee you, picking at random is not the last option.

6. Picking at Random

All right. All right! I don’t live close to a team, I am not represented by any of the team names, my favorite color is absent from the team list, and I don’t watch Overwatch streamers. Throwing a dart at a picture of the league logos probably isn’t the worst plan.

… and I just hit my cat.

7. Be a Bro

You know, in thinking about it, I have a friend who knows which team he wants to root for. Maybe I’ll just root for his team so I can use his TV and eat his snacks whenever the season officially starts.

And that’s it! Thanks to my incredibly helpful article, you now have a favorite OWL team. Stay tuned for more updates as the preseason comes in swinging!

[angstymarshmallow]

Four Lessons Laced in Whiskey - Drake x MC (A Royal Romance Fanfic)

#ChoicesCreates Round 18

Prompt: “We are made of all those who have built and broken us.” – Atticus

Pairing: Drake x MC Rating: T Hosted by me this week! 

[A little note: This was a little frustrating at first because we don’t know much about Drake’s family. Much of this may seem like a tangent but he was one of the first people I had in mind when choosing the quote. In any case, enjoy!]

[Summary: Drake has learned several lessons over the course of his life. Each more pressing than the last, each more important. She was his fourth lesson, and the hardest he ever had to learn.]

The liquid substance scorched on its way down, burning as it often did. Usually the whiskey settled him, made him feel a quiet resilience towards the rest of the world. It helped to put aside his far-reaching introspective tendencies and yet, the liquid heat had done little to that effect tonight. They do not still his thoughts, instead they lead back to brooding reflections.

If he could go back, he would change things. 

He would rearrange all the little bits. The bits he didn’t like, and even some of the bits he did. Often times, when Drake was left alone with his thoughts, and nothing but the rising sunset to path his journey across the stars - he would reflect. Reflect upon his life in layers, inspected it in finer details under the microscope of his mind. Then he would come to the conclusion that his desire to forget burned as brightly as his desire to remember.

His thoughts begun with his parents first. The two people whom raised him, until he could raise himself. The American spitfire that captured his father’s heart, and their whirlwind romance which had swept into something more. More than what either of them expected, after his father’s constant overseas journeys to meet her. The Cordonian man had taken an American wife, and the scandal left by his insistence overshadowed the rest of them. His father, which had never been satisfied with just enough would come to leave a stain and had unknowingly passed the same burden to his children.

All the birthdays which passed before him were the younger years of being satisfied with just enough. The innocent boy before life had twisted and turned him ugly. The prince’s birthdays had stirred something inside him, inside all of them. It uncovered hidden notions of jealously and envy; and begun filling his thoughts by the time he turned ten. They pooled at his little feet and threatened to overflow until it sunk them.

Guilt and sadness had nearly done that; sunk all of them. It clung to every room, and with every hesitant smile or faltered step; it was going to swallow them whole. It followed when his parents realized they couldn’t give the world to him, nor to his sister. Not after comparing their own livelihood needlessly to all the rich Cordonian families.

He learned his first lesson then. Acceptance. He knew no matter what, his life would never measure up to more, not if he constantly had expectations. So he lowered them, and met birthdays with indifference. He pretended they no longer mattered, forced a smile on his face every year until he could finally start believing in the lies that left his lips. A rest to put his parents minds at ease, knowing they could never give their children what his best friend had so readily and always received.

His second thoughts drifted towards his sister. The liquor didn’t burn as much when he took another hasty gulp from his flask. He tried to picture what she was doing right now - wherever she was and whoever she was with. He had always hoped for better when it came to her. Except in their last moments together; she wasn’t the smiling and laughing girl he remembered. Instead, the versions he evoked blurred with harsh exchanges and his own resentment. His standoffish behavior when it came to her; her becoming like them. The rest of Cordonian nobility. Except his sister held no title which could withstand the stinging shame that followed. 

When Savannah left, she took a piece of him with her that not even Liam could heal. He tried of course, Liam was a perfectionist to a fault and Drake had played along. But he had never felt truly healed. The piece she took would never be restored and remained some of the little bits he wanted to change.

He wanted to remember the better parts of their relationship instead; the years of chasing Liam across the impending maze, tickling her even when she laughed and pleaded for him to stop, and making fun of Maxwell before they had reached those dastardly teenage years. Those years had marked the beginning and if he had been better at protecting her; he would have saw it coming. He could have changed them. Changed her. Maybe they wouldn’t have ended as estranged as they were now. Maybe if he had been paying closer attention she would have been right next to him, sharing this stupid flask of whiskey.

His sister had taught him his second lesson. Responsibility was important in becoming a good person, in living a good life. He wished he had noticed this sooner, had cared less of what the others thought while in his youth. He longed to shake his younger surly self, shake his shoulders until he realized what he was letting fade right in front of him.  He wished he had been more responsible back then before the fall out happened, and before everything had turned to shit.

He sighed and took another large gulp from his flask. He leaned back intent on observing the stars, the only time he still felt connected to his sister. He was seeking comfort that wasn’t really there and yet hoped desperately that they held some unseeable truth for him. Some unseeable future to dictate another path. But why did remembering hurt so much? More importantly, why wasn’t the whiskey driving such thoughts away?

Liam had kept the urges for a time. Liam, who had always accepted responsibilities while Drake had shrunk away from them. He had been his center, the only sane part of his life that never stopped making sense. Even when all the other children he grew up with turned their snooty nose at him, and saw him differently, Liam hadn’t. He was afraid and stricken with doubt that he would too. He didn’t know what his friend saw in him; what made him stick up for his well-being when all the other children had sneered at him and saw him as the outsider. But he did. He never hesitated to.

Drake had vowed not soon after to be at his side, whenever he needed him. He knew Liam’s princely duties weighed on him and the older they became, the more he saw it. The more he noticed tiny cracks in what was supposed to be the polished Liam. The infallible version. They never spoke of it in great detail but Drake was always aware of the crushing reality; it was even beginning to crumble with Liam’s coronation nearly in sight.

Liam had taught Drake his third lesson, trust. Trust was earned not simply given, and even though his family had changed his opinion of trust, it was Liam that had destroyed that darkening fester from ever taking root. He taught him trust mattered and loyalty went hand in hand with it. He wanted to be redeemable in Liam’s eyes, cared more than he let on to what he thought of him more than the rest of them.

She was teaching him his fourth lesson. The American woman, Tinsley. The countless hours he was beginning to spend thinking about her was dangerous. It threatened to unravel his third lesson, it threatened the moments of in between which were beginning to mean more to him than anything else ever had.

His hands tightened around the flask as he took another large gulp, nearly choking from the angry way he chugged it down.

She was beautiful, in every sense of the word. Down to the slight frown she wore whenever he said something sarcastically, or the humor that danced inside her hazels otherwise and the wayward dance of hips which he was beginning to notice all too much. Most of it filled his head, and the more he knew about her, the less distance he wanted to put between them. He wanted to know why every time she smiled at him and threw her head back to chuckle, a distinct sense of longing filled his chest. A longing he cannot explain with words because he believed simple words wouldn’t provide proper justice she deserved.

He closed his eyes at the thought and finally laid back inside the comfort of the musky grass. He shouldn’t be thinking of her this way; lesson three would unravel the more he lingered on her, the more he cared.

“Drake?” A familiar voice had spoken softly behind him.

He straightened his shoulders as he sat aside, and eyes connected with hers before he noticed her visibly blushing. “Tinsley.” He said in greeting.

Tonight, wasn’t good for running into her.  It was supposed to be a night filled with whiskey. And bitter resentment at remembering; for him and his measly whiskey. “What’re you doing here?”

She tucked stray hairs behind her ear, before sitting beside him. “Trying to find you obviously.” Then her expression softened when her eyes swung back to his. “You left dinner in such a hurry…I just wanted to make sure you were okay…” She trailed off weakly.

He looked away first. He hadn’t wanted to but it was the proper thing to do. The longer he looked, the more he feared his desires would win out. So instead, he looked away before sighing and handing her his flask. “I’m fine really, nothing to worry your pretty little head about.”

The corner of her mouth lifted into a smile, “What kind of a weakness would I be if I didn’t check up on you?” She took the flask and muttered thanks before drinking.

He scowled. He knew her gentle teasing was to try and cheer him up, but he wanted to hold onto his snarkiness for a little longer. “You’re never going to let me forget I said that, aren’t you?”

“Not a chance.” She took another swig, “I know you aren’t okay and it’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it.” She eyed a particular spot across the gross before handing him back his flask. “Because maybe talking about it is really hard and maybe it hurts too much to.” She took a deep breath as if trying to figure out what to say next. “But I’m here.” She nodded firmly, “I’m here and I’m not planning on going anywhere, not even if you push me to.”

She was saying that because she knew it was his intention. He wanted to push her away, even though he longed to embrace her. He wanted to before it happened. Before they crossed the line that could never become uncrossed. But even as his mind wondered; it was already too late. That line had already been forgotten.

When he glanced up at her and caught her steady stare – he saw more affection in her eyes than he had ever seen in a long time. No, it wasn’t simple affection - it was something more. It was so much more. 

He realized in that moment, the lesson she had finally taught him had a name. Love. She was teaching him how to love again. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

[cartersdarling]

From Chile To Finland

You probably have ever moved over long distances, then you know what a complex and difficult process it may be. Add pets to the method, and issues may appear a bit unimaginable. While this is an issue to think about, there is help available to you on the market. You may discover a selection of various companies to help you progress along with your animals efficiently. With any long distance transfer, you want to start out by investigating which nationwide moving corporations offer their providers out of your space, and when their companies are available in relation to the final timing of your transfer. You wish to find yourself with a listing of companies that may be employed for your move dates. Of course, before you'll be able to do that, it is advisable determine the specific dates on which you intend to move. When you've your moving dates set in your thoughts, then chances are you'll name or e-mail the cheap (extra affordable) transferring corporations in your list. I eat eggs and devour dairy merchandise however not excessively and that i always purchase free-range and organic products within the hope that the animals involved are treated well. The purpose is, whether you agree with my selections or not, that I've thought about these decisions and that's the reason I really feel snug with them. I have spent time and taken choices to get to a compromise which I feel comfortable with and feel I can justify. Their argument appears to be, you eat fish, that is an animal. Reindeer too. You drink milk, that comes from an animal. Football is speculated to be an escape, just like going to the movies. Just a few hours away from the toil and wrestle of every day life. And as of late it’s even worse. I’m sure there was a second at college once we have been informed that winning wasn’t everything, it’s the way you play the game. Horse. Shit. Have an excellent look at those that played the sport with an ounce of decency and you’ll see how rapidly they have been smashed down by the bastards of the world. That’s the fact of life.

His mother had no milk both so he was bottle fed for the first month or so till he managed to get her producing enough milk, marvellous little sucker he was. And here he is on that first night, just over four months ago. Very good little chap and i inform you what, I had a very good have a look at his fleece right now, it's coming alongside very nicely! Listed here are two of my favourite cria, Nutmeg (sire Popham Thunder) on the left and Misket (sire Qjori) on the best, each delightful, both very promising. Here is another of my favourites, Patou Pippin, lovely even colour, deliciously tender handling fleece and wonderfully friendly. And at last, one to look at, Patou Spitfire, a Jack of Spades boy. I love the look of this little male, dense greasy fleece which I hope will keep dark chocolatey brown and never tip over into black. Sadly he's being photograph-bombed by Dilly (the ear nibbler), who in turn is being photo-bombed by Reeya who's performing again right. By studying the chicks habits you will be able to inform if the brooder is the proper temperature. As soon as the chicks are cozy and content material you'll be able to loosen up a bit and simply take pleasure in raising them. Recent eggs from your own yard, what could possibly be higher? Print article Report Add New Remark Data on Beginning to lift Chickens - Raising Chicks in Your Yard! Log in or Create Account to post a comment. Safety Code: Change Image Related searches: Info on Starting to boost Chickens - Raising Chicks in Your Yard! Related Articles Data on Beginning to lift Chickens - Elevating Chicks in Your Yard! Publisher: Paul Vincent Thanksgiving is kind of a tradition to have a good time every passing yr. And nothing beats the idea of having the perfect turkey sitting in your desk. You can at all times purchase one at your nearest grocery store but would it not be great to be elevating backyard turkeys as a substitute and have the freedom to choose the most effective ones from your individual yard?

Alpacas are gentle, curious, clever and observant creatures. However because of an unlucky history of changing into tasty dinners for predators of their original wild habitat of South America, they are naturally cautious and easily startled. Alpacas belong to the household of camelids which incorporates, yes camels, but also vicunas, llamas and guanacos. These quiet, peaceful animals are low-upkeep and require only the easy pleasures of unpolluted water, good hay or pasture and a daily scoop of grain feed. That’s it. No lofty expectations of being entertained, no operating to their humans, tails wagging, anticipating joyous reunions. Just feed me and water me and I’ll grow luxurious fiber and make pretty infants. They’re even courteous sufficient to relieve themselves in communal dung piles making it straightforward to scrub up after them. Time saved wandering around your property searching for land mines of poo can be utilized for extra pleasurable duties. And noisy? Not this elegant animal. Their go-to type of communication is humming which is gentle and even melodic. A wide range of feelings is expressed by humming—from curiosity to contentment and from boredom to worry. If you are all for venturing on a small hen farming home business, you can begin by being a contract grower of an enormous provider. Observe that at this time, the important thing players of the poultry trade are already in place. Beginning small by selling hen eggs and meat to kinfolk, buddies, and neighbors won't do the trick. If you want to make it massive, get into a comparatively large farm raising chickens in metropolis and learn the mazes of the enterprise by being a grower. Established hen farms can serve the needs of huge food businesses and firms. These farms have their very own breeding areas, hatcheries, rearing coops, and slaughter houses. In other phrases, they're self-enough and may work on their own with out issue in sources. They know what feeds to supply, what animal medications to use, how to enhance the grow-out amenities, and how to manage people. Knowing how the enterprise works will definitely prepare you on promoting and elevating chickens in city farms, handling business negotiations and maintaining a network of trade contacts.

If an adult is unlucky sufficient to be kicked a bruise will result but with little probability of serious injury being executed, nevertheless the identical cannot be said for a small (short) little one whose head is in kicking vary. Most alpacas do not kick at people but there are people that can be quickly identified as being susceptible to kicking. That is more evident in a pregnant feminine that desires to deter the advances of an amorous male. Fortunately, as a result of the foot is a smooth pad, injuries to people are minimal. Most alpacas respond very properly to desensitisation of the hind legs in the event that they receive good dealing with as youngsters. Alpacas that chunk individuals are extremely rare and it isn't a normal downside. If it does occur it tends to be an attention searching for behaviour by spoilt pets fairly than an assault. Can I simply have one or do I have to have tons? It is feasible, but not fascinating to have a single alpaca, and it is not a pleasant existence for the animal. Publisher: Kathryn Lively Search on-line for any matter at all, and you will find most major search engines like google and yahoo have shifted to a blended search paradigm which incorporates completely different features of online knowledge. Accessible among outcomes for static Web pages one will find blogs, social media profiles, and especially video. Publisher: Joel Smith If you are looking for ways to break into the leisure trade, or if you happen to simply are searching for a interest or pastime, you want to start considering broadcasting. The reality of the matter is that broadcasting was something that belonged solely to the media elite. Should you wanted to air your personal television exhibits, you had to know the appropriate individuals. Learn on to search out out more! Easy Video Streaming Methodology - Embed Videos! Publisher: Chris Malovetz In a few minutes i'll make it easier to to be taught a easy video streaming method and be taught all the newest materials which you should be aware of.

Conserving chickens as pets is fun and helpful. Chickens are easy to tame, not excessively noisy (as long as you don't have a rooster) and if you retain their house clean they are not dirty and are normally very healthy. Overlook the old-fashioned barnyard stuffed with dust and dirt; you may have a neat, pretty hen house in your yard. You can buy a package or a ready-made hen home from most pet retailers or hardware retailers. Chickens are good on your garden. They scratch around, disturbing any weeds and peck up backyard pests like snails. They're good for fertilizing your vegies however be sure to compost the fertiliser first. It can be too sturdy in its contemporary state. You'll be able to compost any food scraps the chickens don't eat, too. Chickens love recent fruit and vegetable scraps, crusts, and other leftovers but don't give them orange peel, they do not eat it. Make certain to scrub up anything they don't eat because food scraps mendacity around are unsightly and can attract vermin. I have been considering loads over the past three days, I know, pondering, me, for 3 days, outstanding, didn't know I had it in me. I must have although, as I'm now wanting again at three days of critical thinking. The rationale for this intense interval of considering is because I have been updating the Patou webpage with a brand new web page entitled 'Our herd'. So far I have only managed to get all the females up on the page and that took me, on and off, three days. It's time consuming work! Some alpacas, can't remember their names. Some alpacas in a discipline with a lady. However, if I am not very much mistaken the listing is predominantly, if not completely, white. White alpacas with white genetics. There would be the odd beige or fawn male in there but primarily they are all white males, some are a bit whiter than others.

If you have any concerns regarding where and how to use Alpaca walking experience Hampshire & alpaca trekking, you can get hold of us at our site.

[netunleashed-blog]

With Overwatch League's Grand Finals Upon Us, Blizzard's Experiment Is Set For Its Biggest Moment Yet

http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=22857 With Overwatch League's Grand Finals Upon Us, Blizzard's Experiment Is Set For Its Biggest Moment Yet - http://www.internetunleashed.co.uk/?p=22857 Over the course of its inaugural season, Overwatch League has shown solid growth throughout the 200+ games played since its debut. While Blizzard's esport experiment has seen its fair share of ups and downs--resulting in some unexpected roster shakeups, changes to the flow of the schedule, and some controversies surrounding players--the league's success with turning the hero shooter Overwatch into an event game has been a sight to behold. The tournament will culminate in a battle between fan-favorite teams the London Spitfire and Philadelphia Fusion. And with plans to expand further in the next season, including two new teams in Paris and Guangzhou, along with a substantial distribution deal with ESPN, the future looks bright for Overwatch League.Spanning July 27-28, the Grand Finals will see the London Spitfire and Philadelphia Fusion compete in several games, with the champion crowned after a best two of three matches contest. While the first day will only have one match, the second day of the Grand Finals will decide the winner.While both teams are fan-favorites and the best the season had to offer, they each faced many challenges that nearly kept them out of the finals. The 2017 pre-season provided ample opportunity for the teams to get their footing ahead of the official start in Season 1. However, the Fusion unfortunately missed out due to issues with scheduling and visa clearance for its roster. When they debuted at the open of Season 1 in January, they had a particularly poor showing during Stage 1 and 2. Eventually, the Fusion found their footing thanks to a roster change and solid performance from key players Georgii "Shadowburn" Gushcha, Josue "Eqo" Corona, and Alberto "Nepturo" Gonzalez Molinillo. Currently, the Fusion have a 24 win and 16 loss match record under their belt.In the latter half of the season, the London Spitfire have become one of the league's most popular teams. With a strong start in Stage 1, they quickly made themselves known as the team to watch out for. But they struggled to maintain momentum, resulting in several disappointing games in Stages 2 and 3. After an unsuccessful start in the first week of Stage 4, the team management made the surprising move to remove four players from its active roster--Hyeon-woo "HaGoPeun" Jo, Jang-hyeon "TiZi" Hwang, Seung-hyun "WooHyaL" Sung, and Seong Dong-eun "Hooreg" Lee. The reason for they stated in a press release was to craft a smaller, "championship-caliber" team. Amazingly enough, this allowed the team to regain the same buzz they had in the pre-season, leading to some memorable matches against the Fusion, and the Spitfire's rivals, the Los Angeles Gladiators--whom they were able to knock out in the playoffs. Much like the Fusion, the Spitfire also has an identical match record of 24 wins and 16 losses.You need a javascript enabled browser to watch videos.Overwatch League: Blizzard's Big GambleSize:640 × 360480 × 270 Please use a html5 video capable browser to watch videos. This video has an invalid file format. Sorry, but you can't access this content!Please enter your date of birth to view this videoJanuaryFebruaryMarchAprilMayJuneJulyAugustSeptemberOctoberNovemberDecember12345678910111213141516171819202122232425262728293031Year20182017201620152014201320122011201020092008200720062005200420032002200120001999199819971996199519941993199219911990198919881987198619851984198319821981198019791978197719761975197419731972197119701969196819671966196519641963196219611960195919581957195619551954195319521951195019491948194719461945194419431942194119401939193819371936193519341933193219311930192919281927192619251924192319221921192019191918191719161915191419131912191119101909190819071906190519041903190219011900 By clicking 'enter', you agree to GameSpot's Terms of Use and Privacy PolicyenterLondon Spitfire owner Jack Etienne was candid about the team's challenges over the course of the season, including their important decision to make changes to the roster."For me personally, the biggest challenge this season was for me to understand that you can't just put the best 12 players on a team and expect things to go well," he said. "The thing is, when you have only six of those players be on the stage, the other six are not gonna be happy being backup. I've always believed that the teams that win at playoffs are the teams that are peaking at the right time. When we were down and out, like after Stage 3 and not doing well, and then going into Stage 4 and not doing well, and sending players home after--my players were miserable. We talked about it, and I told them that, 'Hey, this slump hurts, it sucks to be here right now, but this is the time, the best time, to figure out what is wrong with us, and come back strong.' Other teams that have those slumps later on didn't have time to fix it; we actually had time to fix what's going wrong.""The Fusion in particular have played strong against us, they're a really solid team," he continued. "And through our [earlier games], they're by far the best--we're the best two teams in the league. I have a huge amount of respect for them, and it's really good that things ended up the way they did in the bracketing, because it would've been a real shame if we had to play each other in quarter-finals or semi-finals, and one of us just lost from the other teams, it would've sucked. That would've been a bad finals. But the way things ended up, with the brackets, [the League] ended up with the two best teams, peaking at the right times, to be here."With the Grand Finals, Overwatch League will up the scale of the event. Along with the change in venue from the Blizzard Arena in Burbank to the Barclays Center, the increased reach that Blizzard has planned for its final games will give viewers more ways to view the deciding matches between the Spitfire and Fusion. In addition to its online audience on Twitch and other streaming platforms, the league will also be broadcast on ESPN and the Disney Channel in North America. The exposure these last games of the season are getting show a clear payoff in the gamble Blizzard has taken with the making of its own esports league, and this will likely set tone for how it expands in the seasons to come.Jon Spector, OWL director of franchises and competition, spoke about what he wanted to do with the league's reach, and the goal to expand the OWL audience even further."We've always wanted our content to be as accessible as possible to fans," said Spector. "That meant you can watch Overwatch League on Twitch, you can watch it on our website, you can watch it on the app, we're making it now with the ESPN partnership, you can watch it on TV in parts of the world. So I think if you look at what we're most excited about, for the ESPN/Disney relationship, it is that ability to bring Overwatch League to a new group of fans that maybe hadn't watched us on Twitch before, and hadn't even checked out our website. This is a chance when we're on for the finals and prime time on ESPN to introduce the league to some new fans. So I'm really excited about that but I think it mirrors our core strategy of making the content as widely accessible for fans. However they want to consume it, we want Overwatch league to be there."Season 1 of Overwatch League has already a been solid start for Blizzard's venture into esports territory. As more teams are drafted, and with additional arenas being added into the mix, there's a greater sense that the league is just getting started. For Blizzard, what makes the Overwatch League work is not only the design of the hero shooter itself, which focuses on a diverse and skilled group of people that come together to form a team, but also the passionate community that has become drawn to its hopeful and optimistic view of what the future could be, where people of all ages and backgrounds come together to find joy in something great. This is something that people are naturally attracted to and constantly seeking out, and it's what will be the driving force behind Overwatch League's growth. Source link

[flickwatches]

Week 3 Power Ranking

Work week so I missed the majority of the weekend games.  Let me just watch a few Akshon Esports highlights.... Wait, what do you mean I can’t do that? 

20. Washington Justice

No matter how bad the next team gets they’ll never be as bad as the Justice.

19. Los Angeles Valiant

My sweet child what has happened to you.  Was the EU staff and players that important???  Was moving Kariv off of flex support to DPS and Kuki off of Main Tank to Main Support too dangerous of moves???  Maybe its time to invest into serious talent instead of expecting the team’s system to pull you out of it.  A number of players are still walking around without contracts.  But sadly a good chuck of them are signed to Academy teams (something you seem to be lacking).

18. Florida Mayhem 

I don’t want to rank them this low.  They are currently playing the best Overwatch of there entire existence as the Mayhem  McGravy is a great breathe of fresh air.  Apply is letting them bench Tviq (they’ve need to do that for a very long time).  And its let Tviq focus more on his strengths.  I really hope they carry over this improvement into Stage 2. 

17. Los Angeles Gladiators

Everyone’s spirits seemed to be dampened on the Gladiators.  A little wet so to speak.  Like there own personal rain cloud that won’t leave them alone. Beach is nice for a day but the Gladiators are drowning right now.  Mite be time to shelve Hydration till a different meta appears. 

16. Boston Uprising

To be honest ranking the next 10 teams is going be god damn impossible but I have to start somewhere.  And fuck this team’s GM.  HIRE A HEAD COACH.  Give Asking a 2 way contract before you lose him.  Honestly Asking should be on the main roster just to prepare him for a potential DPS meta. 

15. Houston Outlaws

Look to be figuring out there issues slowly.  But they mite be 1 step behind the competition again like last year.  Seeing Coolmatt, Bani, and Linkzr back on stage should give fans a lot of hope. 

 14. Chengdu Hunters

My favorite team of Stage 1.  Meta breaking team comps.  Can’t seem to keep it together once teams figure out how to counter play them.  Its hard to tell if they are being countered and being hard stopped by teams.  Or if they are being countered and get flustered so they play bad.  Would be extremely dangerous in any playoff situation this year. I wouldn’t want to face Jinmu and Ameng when they have nothing to lose. 

13. London Spitfire

Still look pretty bad.  Honestly don’t think this is the meta for them.  Profit and Birdring like to make decisions and sometimes they can tilt from being stuck in Brig jail or from the other team knowing what they want to do. Meta is very punishing to initial aggression. 

12. Guangzhou Charge

Fun team that’s figured out some secrets to off meta.  They don’t seem overly strong at current meta and aren’t even the best teams at off meta.  But they are willing to take just enough risks to find value.  Depending on matchup in the future they could stealing more than just a few extra wins. 

11. Seoul Dynasty

Difficult to rank the Dynasty.  Honestly Ana goats and or Sombra goats is there biggest advantage right now.  They can heavily enable Fissure but its just not optimal sadly.  But they are already adding new players and pushing to improve.  Already better than last year’s team. 

10. Shanghai Dragons

Gamsu fixes all.  One of the strongest Main Tanks in the league.  Shanghai is stacked with talent and he is giving them structure and space to work in.  This team can only improve as the season continues. 

9. Dallas Fuel

The last 2 teams here could be flipped next week because they go again for a rematch already.  Dallas is a strange team.  Either they dominate or are dominated this season.  The only exception being the slugfest against Shanghai.  

8. Paris Eternal 

Who even knows.  I don’t know. 

7. Hangzhou Spark

Have looked really good and really bad.  Could be shoved to the side if they are forced to play off meta. Have a really strong team but they don’t seem prepped at all for a DPS meta this stage. 

6. Toronto Defiant

LOL this must be a typo.  Wait, its not?! Bishop is a legit miracle work.  Super strong and consistent team that just appeared out of thin air.  Dark horse of stage 1 easily. 

5. Philadelphia Fusion

I’m always super high on the Fusion and I don’t know why.  They honestly need to play Fragi more just to create some aggression on the team.  I know Fragi goes against the current state of the game even the way the shot callers prefer to work on the team.  But sometimes you need to be on Ball and in the other teams backline.  #FreeEqoFromBrigJail

4. San Francisco Shock

Stupid good.  I notice early on something strange about the team.  All there dumb players are playing extremely smart in this meta.  From Super to Sinatraa the difference in actual IQ to in game IQ is astronomical.   They are getting the most out of the top tier talent they have.  Amazing coaching and player development.  

3. Atlanta Reign 

Seem to be riding on the razors edge that is Dafran’s mental health.  But damn if his teammates don’t legit love the fuck out of him and the coaching staff is seemingly doing what they can to help him balance work life right now. They took a risk on a player and its paying off. 

2. Vancouver Titans

Number 2 because they can’t be number 1.  Best team (not 6 individual talents) in the world.  The dedication and fruition of years of hard work finally realized.  No group of players and staff deserves this success more than they do.  Long live the true kings of Overwatch.

1. New York Excelsior 

I hear it coming.  The confidence.  The toxicity.  Oh Jjonak, you feel untouchable don’t you. Nenne is there anything you can’t do?  Don’t you hear the footsteps?  Don’t you feel the chill run down your back from the overarching shadow around you? Something is growing closer behind you.  And its much larger than you could ever hope to be. 

Enjoy it.

It ends soon.

“The kings desire a crown so the league better watch out.“