#but its been years since ive made proper friends with anybody it feels. so to realize im Actually Making Friends makes me soo. beyond happy

[gemharvest]

To watch yourself go from "wow, I really like talking to these people. I'm going to be really sad when we fall out of contact" to "holy shit, these people are actually here to stay, aren't they?" is such a weird experience and yet.. Anyways I forgot how nice it was to make friends.

[aphroditestummyrolls]

Tagged by: @rhubarbdreams @cactusdragon517 @morallygreywaren and @ceraunos (I’m so sorry this took so long! Thank you for thinking of me, it is so flattering <3)

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

This was SO FUN. It was so nice to go through my old stories... I’m really proud of my writing. That’s something I never thought I’d say, and it’s something I’ve decided I’m going to do unabashedly from now on. <3 Happy almost April, everyone! 

Gaining Heart (Spartacus) 

The days following the defeat of Glaber had been a flurry of activity.

Agron found himself not only leading on field of battle, but leading organization and defensive strategy. Those fucking Romans had moved into the temple as if it was their own home, claiming all that they saw— but they had also brought much of their own. Food, wine, supplies— it was a gift from the fucking gods, and needed proper inventory.

Agron knew not how to do that. Nasir and Naevia were invaluable, cleaning each chamber of any evidence of battle, cataloguing lists and categorizing everything from barrels of grain to rolls of bandages.

Tangles and Roots (The Old Guard)

He was covering Andy.

The hangar was dark, shadowed by the last of the night while dawn crept up over the skyline outside. The plane was set to land any minute now, and Nicky’s eyes flicked from corner to corner, finger on the trigger of his gun and his jaw grinding hard. He could swear he saw shapes moving along the roof— the banks of high windows above them left eerie patches of weak blue light, flickering with little flashes of darkness.

It was probably just birds. He was out of practice— they had done nothing but sit around in the six months since Merrick, trying to heal the deep wounds left in their minds… and bodies, in Andy’s case.

Nicky swallowed, stepping that much closer to his friend’s side as they took their places in the shadows.

Still Awake? (The Old Guard)

He pretended to sleep. His eyes were closed, and his muscles were stiff, tying themselves into knots where he laid in his cot between Andy’s empty bedroll and Joe and Nicky’s snuggled up bodies. Booker refused to be comfortable— he refused to rest. The day had been rough, and the fighting had left a bone deep ache inside him, even while the physical wounds had healed.

All the Time in the World (The Old Guard) 

The first time Nicolo and Yusuf bathed together, it was by the river— he wasn’t sure which river. It had probably changed names and countries a hundred times by now. All he remembered was that, by the time they heard the steady rush of water and cleared the brush and trees to the bank, he was half mad with annoyance.

If that man made one more grumbled complaint— one more clearly telegraphed grimace— about the supposed smell of him, Nicoló might have to break their truce and run the bastard through.

Kissed by an Angel (The Old Guard)

Nicky felt his lips flicker into a private smile, setting the pot on the stove to simmer and turning to look out the window into the garden. Joe’s garden.

He was humming to himself— Nicky couldn’t quite hear it, but he could tell by the set of the other man’s jaw under his beard and the purse of his lips as he concentrated. The weeds wouldn’t rip themselves, the overgrown shrubs wouldn’t miraculously be already pruned and waiting for them.

They were finally back in Valletta. Finally home.

Patron Saint of Satisfaction (The Old Guard)

It had been a long, long few weeks.

Joe’s shoulders were tense and knotted, and his whole body still ached from the train ride he and Nicky had taken all that day. There was a stifling, choked sensation in his gut that would rise in waves, up his throat to the tip of his tongue until he was ready to scream. The whole way to their safehouse, he brushed shoulders with his lover— practically leaning on him— and let himself take refuge in the feeling of Nicky’s warm hand entwining their fingers.

Waking Dreams (The Old Guard)

At first, they could’ve been anywhere for all Joe knew.

There was nothing in the world but Nicky— his scent, his body, his quiet sleeping breaths. Joe felt himself hover on the edge of sleep and wakefulness, the familiar thrum of pleasure making up the backdrop of his thoughts.

He nuzzled into his Nico’s neck, pressing sloppy, half asleep kisses to the back of his neck.

Here There Be Monsters (The Old Guard) 

The morning had been blustery and hot. The scent of ozone made the sea air thick as it blew through his hair where they all stood, crowded around the lower deck. They all squinted against the bright sunshine, but Joe knew better than to trust the blue sky.

”If I’m getting in, I’ve gotta do it soon—“ he spoke up, cutting into some conversation that he hadn’t been listening to, “There’s a storm coming in from the East.”

Nile— still so young, so far from the American Midwest, and in her first field season— raised an eyebrow at him from behind her sunglasses.

He smiled at her bemused look, shooting his gaze over to Andy. Andy smirked, huffing a laugh. “If anybody knows, Joe knows.”

In Loving Memory (The Old Guard)

The wind whipped up off the water, cold and salty despite the way the sun beat down on them. It was alright, honestly— refreshing after all those stuffy hours in the car.

These immortals were highly resistant to normal modes of transport. Like a plane— a real passenger plane, not a Russian cargo plane full of drugs. It was all cars and boats and trains, low to the ground, literally under the radar.

Nile understood why. She didn’t want to end up strapped down to a lab table like the one they escaped all those months ago. She’d just rather take a nice plane from the closest airport to Provence and get to Valletta in a matter of hours, rather than drive through three countries and all the way down the Italian boot, just to bribe a fishing boat.

Feed My Soul (The Old Guard) 

Malta looked good on Nicolò.

Joe leaned on the railing of their balcony, looking down into their old, old walled garden where his Nico shuffled around in the herbs. He was looking for something particular, the bridge of his nose scrunching as he peered at the mess of overgrown pots.

Joe beamed, the familiar, all-encompassing warmth of loving that man filling him up and making him feel expansive and bright. There was a cathedral ceiling in his chest, airy and golden with the light of dawn through its tall, jeweled windows. There was a house of worship where his heart should be, and he traced the lines of the other man’s body like he was devoting a painting to him.

Sono Qui (The Old Guard)

Andy left Booker on the beach.

She felt his gaze follow her, but couldn’t bring herself to look back.

It wasn’t as if they had never separated before— as if the four of them had been constantly attached from the time they finally found the Frenchman, even after months and months of dreaming and searching. There were plenty of times where they spent months, or sometimes years apart. They took breaks from each other, they traveled. Just a year ago, Andy had declared that she needed a break— was that last year of being alone the thing that led Booker to betray them? Maybe they should’ve stayed together. She never should have left him. She understood how it felt to be alone in the world… to lose someone so precious that life loses its color.

Andy had left Booker plenty of times. It wasn’t something she liked to think about now, but she had… She had assumed he was handling it like her. Somber and drunk, wishing for some type of release. They’d talked about it enough times. But not like this.

Brother of My Heart  (The Old Guard)

Joe clenched his hands on the steering wheel, flexing his fingers to feel the stretch in the tendons, even though any injuries from the fighting had long since healed.

While driving away from the ruins of Merrick’s car, the adrenaline was still rushing in his veins, and all his self control was devoted to staying reasonably within the speed limit. The last thing they needed was to get stopped by some bobby cop while covered in blood and dust, with a bullet through Andy’s stomach.

Right now, they needed to blend in. So, Joe didn’t press the gas pedal into the floor.

Care and Feeding (The Old Guard) 

Nile couldn’t ever remember liking the cold.

Even at home in Chicago. Sure, her memories of warm Christmas masses, bright lights on the tree, and gently falling snow outside the kitchen window made her throat dry with that familiar, wistful grief. She wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to seeing pine trees or twinkle lights without thinking of her mom’s mac n cheese, or how early her brother would wake her up on Christmas morning.

But loving Christmas, and loving snow? Those were two completely different things.

Going Underground (Star Wars) 

Poe wasn’t sure what it was like when they broke through the atmosphere into Yavin IV. He didn’t watch through the Falcon’s wide front window as the familiar jungles passed by in a blur of green underneath them, and he couldn’t pick out the roof of home from the surrounding grasses as they came in for a landing.

The first thing he saw as he came to, bleary and aching, was Finn. They’d fallen asleep right where they were, pressed shoulder to shoulder at the holochess table, Poe’s head on Finn’s shoulder. It took him a sluggish moment to recall why his hand had its own throbbing pulse, and why Finn’s soft, dark skin was pockmarked with strange cuts, glistening with bacta.

The second thing he saw, swallowing against the rush of memories filling his fuzzy mind, must have been a hallucination.

STAR WARS VIII: The Battle of the Force (Star Wars) 

“General, I don’t know how much longer we can hold ‘em off—”

Poe’s voice crackled from the shoddy reception, nearly engulfed by the constant bombardment in the background.

“Commander, the Resistance depends on taking down this dreadnought.” Leia kept her voice steady and strong “Stand your ground.”

Beyond What We Can See (Star Wars) 

If he was being honest with himself, he supposed that he’d been feeling the Force his whole life. He’d always just brushed it off as basic intuition— he thought everybody felt this way. It wasn’t until he started seeing the way the Force was treated in the First Order—as a myth, a fearful, distant thing—that he realized how much he needed to keep his head down. Even though he only felt it in small ways, he was different. He buried the feelings, tried to ignore the nagging dread that said that he didn’t belong there in his platoon. That none of them did.

But that wasn’t something he was allowed to feel. The Force wasn’t supposed to be something any of the troops knew firsthand.

Like She Always Did (Star Wars) 

The first time she left was barely a memory. More of a dream. He didn’t remember the fight they had, but he knew in hindsight that they must’ve had it for much longer than the tail end that he saw. Maybe it was what got his little feet out of bed in the first place. Daddy’s eyes were rimmed with red and Mama was pacing out her anger into the sitting room rug. Poe’s eyes were wide as he watched from the threshold to the hall, his little hand gripping onto the pillow that he’d tugged along with him from his room.

Love Will Help You Heal (Star Wars) 

Every inch of him throbbed, the last dregs of whatever the interrogation droid had injected him with still pumping through his bloodstream. He was so tired. How long had it even been? Getting captured on Jakku felt like a hazy dream, as if it was weeks ago.

No one was coming for him. He knew that much—he’d probably be mad if they endangered the resources to try—but he couldn’t help but wish anyway. Death seemed so close, like a cold hand on his shoulder, by his side in the recirculated air of the Star Destroyer.

He wished they’d just hurry up. His drug-addled, sleep deprived mind didn’t know if he was asking for rescue or death. Maybe they were the same thing now.

Dying a martyr. At least it suited the image—Poe Dameron, Poster Boy of the Resistance.

Ghosts of Future and Past (MCU/Captain America) 

His head was throbbing. His back ached. Everything in him pulsed with agony like he’d been hit by a train.

A train. Bucky.

“Bucky is alive.” 

He could feel the winter cold at the memory, his eyes snapping open as the past few moments came flooding back to him.

There had been another Steve. Even without the mask, he’d looked just like him. It must have been Loki playing tricks again, it had to be.

Sweet as Honey, Gold Like the Sun (Stranger Things) 

Steve was drifting after high school graduation. He drifted right out of the halls of Hawkins High and into a desk job at his dad’s office. If he was being honest, he’d been drifting since the Gate closed— maybe even since Nancy broke it off.

He wasn’t mad. She was his best friend. He and Jonathan were even friends now. No, he hadn’t been mad for a long time— but he was lost. The kids were going to high school. Dustin would be getting his license one of these days, and Steve’s last function to his little gaggle of brats would become all but useless.

The idea of not serving a purpose left the bitter tang of anxiety in his throat. Once the kids didn’t need him— and Joyce and Hopper and even Nancy— Steve would be left behind. Again.

Okay... Some of these may have been more than just what is considered “Opening Lines”, but I can’t just leave something feeling unfinished, and I’m a little tipsy, which means I am bending the rules <3

**EDIT** i forgot to look for patterns and pick my favorite! I mean, I think all storytelling/creative expression (anything from developing a recipe to composing a painting to writing a story) follows a distinct formula. And the best way to establish the story is by starting it with the most important element front and center— I almost always start with my main character. A thought or a feeling, a situation or a sensation. They’re the focal point from which everything ripples out. Those first ripples (the 2nd, 3rd or 4th lines) are usually about building the setting. It’s an equation that works so well for me, and though I sometimes shake it up by adding immediate dialogue or flipping the positions of setting and main character, it has served me well ❤️ i think my favorite has to be Brother of My Heart. It’s the first really, immediately big story Ive ever had. So many comments, so much warmth, so many kind people— it grew my confidence and helped me make friends. It reminds me of how truly wonderful fandom can be, even just with the first few lines.

I’m going to continue to bend the rules by not tagging anyone immediately-- it’s giving me weird anxiety levels, so I’m gonna wait and do it later maybe. If, in the meantime, you see this and want to do it, write me down as the one who tagged you! <3 Feel frrrreeeeeeee! 

[margarethelstone]

She’s not my Soulmate  [chapter IV]

One, final part. Can also be find on fanfiction.net

"Ever since we met, we've both known it was not meant to be," he said slowly, carefully weighing each of his words. "Nothing more than a friendship, that is. We could be friends, sure. We could have great time together, sure. But that was all. We compared our symbols at the first day, and there was absolutely no way they would match – yours looks like a tattoo, while mine is almost like a natural birthmark; yours is an outline, when mine is a quote. The symbol you're wearing on your wrist is purely Nordic – and the line under my collarbone is written in old French. Our marks couldn't be any more different – honestly, we would be insane to think there might me some sort of a connection between us. But I'm afraid that the last thing I am right now is sane.

"We've been friends for more than eight years now, laughing together, complaining together, standing by each other's side. I have learnt to care for you, like I never cared for anybody else; still, I knew I would never be allowed to love you differently, than as my friend, because no matter how hard I would try, I couldn't change the world we live in.

"I wasn't as tough as I thought, though, and there came a moment, when I had to admit to myself that I broke the rules, and fell for you. That it was no longer platonic, or sibling-like love – but what was worse, that it was not just some stupid crush I could ignore. My feelings had grown, and the truth is, they still are. Every second makes me more aware of how much you mean to me. I'm sorry if it makes you feel uncomfortable; but after all these years, you deserve to know the truth."

Astrid bit her lower lip, and Hiccup saw her doing it. He couldn't tell what she thought about his speech, except that he was almost sure she did not like it. He sighed. Once more, the heart he had almost managed to mend was breaking, falling apart into hundreds and hundreds of pieces, too small to be hoped to ever be brought together again.

However, he had no choice now. If he had found the courage to begin his confession, he had to find the strength to finish it.

"I would never have thought I'd be bold enough to tell you all this. It was always simple, almost painfully so: you were meant for someone else, and someone else was meant for you. I didn't know who that guy would be, except that he was the luckiest man on earth, but since it was not me, there had to be a reason for it. I couldn't imagine being happy with anyone but you – but it made no difference as long as I remembered that you would not be happy with me.

"And that's how it had been until this morning, when I talked to my mum, and she told me some things about her and Dad. You know, for me, there's only one couple that are greater than your parents – my own. For twenty three years I was sure it was because they were lucky to be in love with their soulmate from the very start. But my parents are not soulmates, Astrid; not in the way we were taught to see it. If there's a chance we could be half as happy together as they are, we will be fools not to give it a try."

He finished, almost as surprised as the girl who stood in front of him. Ten minutes earlier he hadn't had a clue what to say, and now he was delivering some huge, smart, oh-look-how-good-with-the-words-I-am speech. He hadn't intended to do it; if anything, he'd been scared he would get stuck after the first few sentences, unable to make an articulated sound.

But he meant it; and he could only hope she would understand.

It took Astrid a while to think it all over, furrowing slightly as she thought about a proper answer. She raised her sight eventually, and whispered, "How long?"

Hiccup shook his head, "It's hard to tell, really. It was so slow, so smooth, it was already done when I realised what was going on."

"When did you realise it, then?"

He made some calculations, "Eight months ago. Christmas. Your parents were abroad, and you came to spend it with us… I glanced at you and knew that I wanted every holiday to look like that. With you as a part of my family. As my family."

Astrid gritted her teeth as she listened, and Hiccup wasn't sure if it was pain or anger he saw in her eyes. He inhaled deeply, determined to make her speak.

"Astrid, I understand you may not like this. I don't expect -"

"I called Eret," she blurted out.

Hiccup froze.

He was too late.

Astrid saw his terrified expression, yet decided not to comment. Instead, she inhaled deeply, just like he had a few moments earlier, and finally loosening her self-embrace, she began to tell her own little story, "I told you I didn't know what to tell him, and that was true. As soon as you left, I went to bed, only to spend the night thinking of what I should say, or how to do it – it wasn't easy, but those few hours were enough to figure it out. He texted me about half past seven this morning, and I called him back. We talked for like, ten or fifteen minutes. I told him I was sorry for my behaviour yesterday, and that I'd like to make it up to him; of course he said there's no need for that. Either way, we're good now."

She smiled mildly, and brushed her blonde bangs away from her forehead. Hiccup could swear he saw her blushing. He felt a twist in his stomach, certain of where Astrid was heading, mentally kicking himself for being vain enough to think, that she could ever have him. He was ridiculous; his declaration was ridiculous.

Why, why had she let him say all this?

"I thanked him for his attention -" she went on, blind to the suffering that reflected all across her best friend's face "- but I said I couldn't accept it. He had offered me his heart, and was almost ready to offer me his hand as well – the problem is, I would never be able to return those feelings. Not when my heart belongs to someone else."

She didn't realise how wet her eyes were, until one of the tears escaped them, and she had to wipe it with her hand. She laughed shortly, with this kind of laugh which only appears when you cry. All of this felt surreal, but she couldn't force herself to dislike it.

Hiccup's eyes were wide with shock.

"And who would that be?" was everything he managed to stammer.

"You, idiot."

They still were standing so far away from each other, and yet, it suddenly felt like if there was no distance between them at all. The icy walls were melting, the imaginary obstacles were crumbling down, and it just felt right.

Astrid covered her mouth with her trembling hands, however, the gaze she gave him was so fond, so enthusiastic, that Hiccup was sure his legs would give way. He was grinning like an idiot, and he was aware of that; he shook his head in disbelief.

"How long, Astrid?"

"Eight months. Christmas."

He was staring at her for a short while, before slapping his hand against his face, crying out "Screw you, destiny!" and dashing towards her at the top speed. Next moment she was in his arms, openly crying into his neck, holding to him for dear life, while he was asking himself how on earth could they have wasted so much time.

"Good God, Hiccup, we were such fools."

"This world is foolish."

"This world is mad."

Yet she laughed anyway, tightening her grip on him, as if she was afraid he would let her go if she hadn't held him strongly enough. He leaned down, and kissed the soft skin on her neck. Astrid relaxed onto him, and finally, finally they were at peace.

It took a while before either of them was able – or willing – to speak; again, it was Astrid who first decided to say anything.

"It will be hard, won't it?" she asked, the last tones of anxiety playing in her voice. "I mean, we're literally risking everything."

"Nothing that's worth anything is easy -" he mumbled, smiling, brushing his lips against her cheek, "- but all we need is a little more of time. For example, you may be sure I won't propose after a month."

"Would you do that if we were soulmates? Propose after a month?"

"I would have done it on the New Year's Eve."

He tickled her, and she giggled, her sonorous voice resonating in the air.

"But you can still call Eret if you want."

"What on -"

"You know, in case you were having second thoughts."

"Okay, now I positively hate you."

"Nah. You love me."

She didn't answer immediately, pushing away only as much to look him in the eyes. He was still smiling, returning the glare – however, she couldn't miss the occasional glances he was casting at her lips. She rolled her eyes, only to see him grin ever more. She moved her hand from his neck and dipped her fingers in his hair, while her other hand found its way to his jaw.

"I do. I never thought I'd say it out loud, but I do love you, Hiccup Haddock."

"And I love you back, Astrid."

He pulled her closer, and leaned in, curious if she would move; she didn't.

"You were right about your parents, Ast -" he whispered against her mouth, letting their breaths intermingle. "They didn't get along because the universe told them to; it was their own goodwill and determination. And we have so much more than that."

He didn't have a chance to say anything else, as Astrid stood on her tiptoes, pressing her lips against his, and to be fair, he was more than willing to respond. And they stood like that, two young people, in the middle of a large library, melting into one another in a perfect harmony.

Hiccup knew their journey to happiness wouldn't be the easiest one; but if he was to take it with Astrid Hofferson by his side, he knew it would be the greatest adventure that could have ever happened to him.

Because she was his soulmate.

[thataspdfeel]

I'm curious, what are you most attracted to in your partners? Is it similar traits in all of them or different ones like their sense of humour etc.? Sorry if this is a weird question but you've said before you like when people ask about them so I thought I would.

i was so excited to get this and then forgot to answer it :/ im an idiot

also gonna put this under a cut cause this is gonna be hella long cause im a fucking romantic dork

god though i could wax poetic. they’re all so lovely. like they have traits in common but also are unique. they all have brown eyes but theyre unique. like my husband has these eyes that remind me of warm chocolate. like a chocolate fountain kind of warm chocolate. dark and smooth but reflect the light. my wife’s have tinges of gold in the irises like flecks of gold leaf. and theres a dark ring around the pupil and one around the edge of the iris. theyre fucking magical

my boyfriend’s eyes are almost black and very deep. darker than the night sky and full of warmth and mischief. but its like theyre never ending, like he can see the innermost parts of whoever he’s looking at, like your soul is written on your forehead

lmao i love eyes can you tell

they all have these goddamned sinful eyelashes and my boyfriend’s are the longest. theyre as dark as his eyes and when he’s embarrassed, he gets all shy and they brush against his cheekbones like how dare you sir. how dare you be beautiful even when youre embarrassed. i look like a fucking tomato. rude

my husband’s look gold at the tips with the way the light catches them. like yknow how fake eyelashes have purple or red at the tips? like that except gold. like what??? the fuck??? rude

they all have very soft hair though my boyfriend’s is the longest. i cant wait to get with him irl again cause i wanna braid it. he’s got a bony face and it frames it so well. it’s so dark brown its almost black and it’s fun to see him try to sweep it out of his face cause he refuses to tie it up

my husband has these wild curls. we were looking up how to take care of them and that’s how we found out hes ethnically jewish. (which makes sense considering he’s german) they get so thick and heavy and they’re so soft and lovely to nap in. which i do on a semi regular basis. its so soft and lovely and i love when he grows it out. he just doesn’t look right with shorter hair. and he has this beard that grows funny, makes him look like jedidiah if yknow what i mean. he has such a baby face without it and he loves beard scritches it’s so cute how happy he gets

bluh im bouncing all over the place i just??? love them?????? so??????????? much???????????????? there’s so much to talk about!!!

so i guess i’ll just try and make a list of the things i love about them

husband:

cheerful, bubbly, very sunny personality. the human incarnation of a very excited dog (which can be A Lot sometimes)

extremely kind. would give you the shirt off his back. often laments that he stopped carrying cash years ago every time he sees somebody who could use some despite the fact that we’re always broke

a proper southern gentleman??? like im fat so im used to people not holding doors open for me fucking ever and being really goddamned rude in general. he ALWAYS holds doors open for me, opens the car door for me both to get in and out of the car, and gets pouty if i try and carry my own bag. it’s so sweet??? ive literally never had that before and even after three and a half years, it’s still so charming

he will do literally anything the fuck i ask. he’ll say no and im like oh ok and he’ll tease like “finally! i said no! and got away with it!” just to make me giggle and then does it anyway

on this note, he also always cooks as much as absolutely possible. even though his spine gives him problems, he does his best to keep me off my leg

he’s always so concerned about my well being. like if there’s not a disability cart at the front of a store, he makes me sit down while he goes and chases one down. if im stiffer than usual due to a cold front, he’ll remind me to take pain meds every four hours

he’s trying to learn japanese because he knows i dont have anybody to practice with here in the states. just for me and not any other reason

adores animals. even if he finds a dog annoying, he’ll still fawn over it and give it as many pets as it wants and won't ever snap at it even if anybody else would. he’s got these large hands and he’s kind of clumsy but this goes away around animals. he’s just so careful and gentle like i never ever worry

drags me out of my introverted cave because he knows social interaction is also good

has introduced me to some of my favorite books and video games because he’s verious conscious about what somebody likes and works to be like “hey, i think youd like this” and is almost always correct??? amazing

has 0 sense of style but doesnt mind somebody who knows better keeping him from absolute disaster

dude is a damned good cook. ive gained like at least a solid 25 pounds since he moved in and started cooking regularly

SPEAKING OF COOKING, we met on the tail end of my anorexia when i was doing my best to recover and still slipping up. he never made me feel bad about it but always encouraged me to eat. he eats SO much (think shaggy rogers) that i always felt comfortable eating in front of him. he always reminds me to eat and asks if ive eaten that day. honestly, i wouldnt be at this level of recovery if it hadnt been for him

is amazing at caling me down holy fuck

wife:

met her first, of the three of them, ironically so ive known her the longest but been with her the shortest. we dated a few months in hs but there was a chick she wanted to date like right there (and i was in japan) so i was like oh go for it. well, they broke up and we got back together and it’s been lovely ever since

she has this snorting laugh that’s adorable to listen to and it makes me feel more comfortable laughing (because i think i sound like a damn goose)

SHE HAS SO MANY GODDAMNED FRECKLES ON HER CUTE LITTLE FACE THEY’RE ADORABLE AND AMAZING AND VERY FUN TO KISS BECAUSE SHE SQUIRMS

she has a goddamned button nose for chrissakes

and these really wide hips too like i felt bad about my hips years ago cause theyre p wide but shes adorable and has wide hips too. she kinda made me love them (even though hers are better)

she’s genderfluid so i get to be gay all across the gender spectrum (im agender) and she’s so beautiful and handsome and v amazing

we were both homestuck fans at the height of it (like we still are) but her cosplays are just really well done??? shes so talented

OH MY GOD SHE MAKES THIE CHICKEN SOUP WITH HOMEMADE NOODLES I WOULD SLAP AN OLD LADY FOR

i dont know about the rest of her cooking (sadly) due to limited time around each other but i cant fucking wait tbh. her cookies kill me tho i love them

an amazing fashion sense. im a dumpster compared to her

an amazing writer and artist and i die every time she sends me something like my soul fucking ascends

she loved me BEFORE meds which i think is amazing. like what a lovely human being yknow? im a dick without meds and she loved me anyway and i love that about her

she speaks german and she makes it sound beautiful and i cry

her singing voice is so angelic and it kills me when she sings because everybody should hear this lovely person sing

she is hyper empathetic and it makes her so lovely and kind and wonderful. she completely understands how i feel about things and why even when no one else does and is very good at de-escalating me when im upset

we’ve just known each other for something like 7 years now? like i dated her post my abusive ex and she lit up my whole world with happiness at being treated well. then her ex was abusive and just... we get each other? in a way where her husband and my other two partners dont. its a pain the others dont understand so we go to each other during these times of pain in a way we cant with other people. it’s a very special connection

she’s a goddamned goof and i love it

my boyfriend:

motherfucker is so skinny which is the opposite of me and for some reason it works?? idk like it worries me but it’s also unique. love it

we dated almost my whole senior year of hs but he broke up with me because he thought he didnt have the same depth of emotion as i did for him and didnt want to “hold me back” from somebody better. like??? can you imagine?????? how fucking kind

recently started dating again like it took him fourish years for him to realize SHIT I MADE A MISTAKE so he’s a little slow but he’s so very thoughtful

he’s a goof in a different way than the other two. dad jokes. never ending fucking dad jokes. and goddamned puns. he never stops. dont tell him i love them because then he’ll never let me tease him again (i pretend like its The Worst)

so. fucking. dramatic. always flips his hair in the sassiest way possible. its super gay (he’s bi)

he doesnt do a whole lot of romance or saying WHY he feels certain ways. he feels like it cheapens the emotion. but, on the rare occassion he doesnt let this bother him, his poetry he sends me about how he feels makes me fucking cry. it’s so beautiful. i love it

he works watering at a plant nursery and complains about how the bees always use him as a landing strip. it’s adorable

he’s so resourceful?? this is best seen when playing minecraft cause he makes some damn cool structures in some really nice places. i love playing it with him just to see what he builds and how (especially since im a boring, lets make this house a square kinda ho)

he’s so camera shy??? no selfies no skype at all. he’s so bashful and it’s super cute i love it

got me into DnD like yes thank you for this enjoyable nerdery

the sole reason i passed math in hs. like not only is he smart but hes also really good at explaining things to people? definitely a talent for teaching people things

he was my best friend for the longest time like all three of them are my best friend but he was the only one who was my best friend FIRST and then romance blossomed

like im demiromantic so i need a strong connection to fall in love like it was a solid few months of dating my husband before i began to love him. i knew my wife for awhile and got close so same general story. but my boyfriend and i were more friends to lovers and i love that about him

his dad is half italian so he talks with his hands and it’s so overdramatic that he hits people with them on a semi regular basis just gesturing. he once accidentally knocked my glasses all the way across a room cause i had walked behind him and he made a sweeping gesture. hilarious

one time, i had food poisoning and the pain was so bad, i had to crawl under his kitchen table until my mother came to take me to the base clinic. he sat with my head in his lap and brushed my hair out of my face and cooed gently at me to try and soothe me. it was so sweet and ive never forgotten about it

motherfucker, with the help of my sister, dragged me into homestuck

he’s so damn shy about affection that holdling his hand in public makes him blush. it’s even worse if i steal a kiss. fucking adorable

things all three have in common that i love:

good in bed. it sounds silly but this is important to me because while i dont necessarily need sex to form a close relationship to fall in love, it definitely helps

idk how this happened, i really dont, but somehow everything i like lines up nicely with everything they like??? and if im not into something, they can find it with each other and vise versa. lmao wtf how did this happen to line up idk

kind, generous, sweet, and helpful although all three show these qualities in different ways despite having them in common

love me??? like honestly it sounds so silly that id love that they love me but im such a flawed, terrible human being that it leaves me in deep awe that not only does one person love me but three??? how??? amazing people to find something in me to love and to keep on loving despite all my problems. beautiful

creative, smart, and inventive each in their own right. they fucking astound me and take my breath away

beautiful cuddlers (not being sarcastic, promise)

husband is a goddamned heater but boyfriend is a living block of ice. then wife is one of those who’s in between but she steals your heat and then hours later gives it back which is the worse option of the three. like it starts out all nice but then you end up surprised hours later because youre fucking dying of heatstroke

so we have two heatstroke, drowning in sweat options and then losing your limbs. it makes trying to set the thermostat a fucking nightmare

they all love to read and honestly? i couldnt be with anyone who doesnt like a good book

can hold lively, in depth discussions about things

hubby tends to lean more towards “would it be immoral to fuck a succubus” type morality questions and superhero dissection type things

wife is all over the place and can carry on a conversation about goddamned teapots if she so chose. no idea how she does it

boyfriend likes to entertain more morbid thoughts and psychology but also likes to analyze things. like homestuck. we still fucking dissect homestuck

very intelligent. blows my dumb ass out of the water. beautiful

like gaming various amounts and various kinds of games. hubs likes any and all. boyfriend likes dnd, monster hunter, minecraft etc kinds of things, not really one for cards or board games. wife prefers to craft but will occasionally engage in board games or cards, less so in video games but tends to stick to pokemon. it’s nice

they’re all very physically beautiful though in different ways. hubby is barrel chested and german with very strong arms and big hands, a bright and sunny smile. wife is small and round with tiny, artist hands and a sweet, pixie face. boyfriend is thin, long, and gaunt with pale skin and dark hair (kind of like damien from dream daddy tbh)

i could go on but ive been making this post for like well over two hours now and i figured maybe i should stop. it’s long as hell and idk if anybody else would have read this whole thing but basically i fucking adore my partners??? so much??? and there are so many things about them to love???

i just love them so much and could go on and on for hours about why i love each of them and how lovely they are and how they make me feel

ksdjrfgh im so sorry this is so long theres just so much to talk about //sweats

[walticos-blog]

ENDURING BONE SURGERIES

In the previous 2 years, I have had four bone and reconstructive medical procedures. In earlier years I have had different sorts of medical procedures, yet from my very own involvement, I couldn't want anything more than to impart my encounters to others in would like to help those experiencing similar encounters to feel more calm and maybe help the individuals who have relatives encountering medical procedures to comprehend what their friends and family are experiencing. The minutes up to medical procedure are troubling and passionate. There are ways that I will talk about on the most proficient method to be consoled and resist the urge to panic. Just as before medical procedure, I will talk about the day of medical procedure, directly after medical procedure, and recuperation at home. How about we start with being disclosed to you need medical procedure and you being prepared for it. Most Doctors are all the more ready to assist you with your issues of broken bones or torment on the off chance that you yourself concede you need their assistance and need it. When I was determined to have burst circles in my neck, I sincerely did not need medical procedure and needed to locate some other route conceivable to fix it. I went to chiropractors, specialists, home cure advisors and to my benefit, I held up excessively long until it was SO terrible that I stated, "I'm finished." I was at last prepared. Our feelings about medical procedure at some point bamboozle us and we are not willing to concede our issue is terrible enough until the way substantially more harm is finished. Once in a while, indeed, it pays to be difficult and endure it, however many occasions over, it doesn't. For my situation, my neck was much more awful ten years sometime later than when I began. The possibility of medical procedure and being "put out" under anaesthesia scared me, yet significantly more, the "what if's" that went with it. Imagine a scenario where I kicked the bucket, was I prepared. Imagine a scenario in which I was deadened, what might befall me and my family. Consider the possibility that, imagine a scenario where, imagine a scenario in which. I was stressing myself wiped out! I am a religious being, however the feelings crept in. I realized I needed to make a stride back and trust God to support me. I began thinking about the section in The Bible in Philippians 4:6-7 that guides us to be on edge for little more than in everything by petition and supplication with thanksgiving let your solicitations be made known to God. Also, the tranquillity of God, which outperforms all understanding, will monitor your hearts and your brains in Christ Jesus. Matthew 6:34 peruses to not be on edge about tomorrow for tomorrow will be restless for itself. Adequate for the day is its very own inconvenience. What's more, different stanzas about stressing began to fill my mind. I realized I needed to get once more into point of view that God has this. Obviously, regardless I stressed a few. In my stressing, I made something happen. I needed to get readied. Despite the fact that I hurt abundantly and paid for all that I did that night or following day, things needed to get wrapped up. I realized that they let me know after medical procedure that I would not have been ready to do ANYTHING for some time and that included not getting into a vehicle for a month. I needed to get my home fit as a fiddle and game on! My significant other would have been ready to take off for seven days after medical procedure, yet he needed to return to work so I focused on supper arranging and placing meals in the cooler for later dates. A few things next to the home and sustenance may incorporate things like the bed and where you will rest. For neck and shoulder medical procedure, I prescribe dozing raised however much as could be expected. You will be required to do as such for certain medical procedures. In the event that you don't have a lift bed, purchase a wedge pad or two. You will be restricted on normal family unit tasks. To twist and lift things up off the floor, nah, don't anticipate it. On the off chance that you can locate a shabby enough hand gripper that spans to the floor and you can crush from your hand to open and close on the article, that would be a truly smart thought. Grabbing a gallon of milk or different objects of weight will be an issue also. Have a go at solidifying drinks in void water bottles that you will almost certainly lift fittingly. Bringing cushions and a spread for the ride home might be something to remember. This will help lighten the knocks or bends in the streets. Keeping your mind set on petition and planning will enable the stress to vanish. Make certain to adhere to the majority of the medical procedure directions steadfastly so you are set up for that day. So my recommendation to anybody sincerely stressed over your up and coming medical procedure, offer it to God and simply relax. Set up your home anyway you have to. Involve your mind with what will help you after medical procedure. The day of the medical procedure, I have gained from my neck, lower back, left shoulder, and right knee medical procedure that it is a hurricane. Obviously, you will sign a wide range of authorizations and structures and sign in to the emergency clinic. This is ordinary and can be extensive, yet it must be finished. Tolerance on your part may wear ragged, yet you got this. You will have the chance to talk with your Doctor and the anaesthesiologist before medical procedure. On the off chance that you have ANY worries by any means, DO NOT dither to ask them. Recall that, they are being paid by you to complete an administration for you. Try not to be threatened by the way that their activity may appear to be increasingly significant. You are similarly as significant and your needs and concerns must be met. I have seen numerous discourteous patients who have no consideration of worry for their guardians and make sure to be decent and conscious when posing inquiries or concerns. You will be jabbed for blood and pic lines and what knots, however be readied that it might sting only a bit, yet soon it is finished and once the IV's are in and the best possible medications begin siphoning, you should will be appropriately observed. The extraordinary somebody with you may not be permitted to be with you during these blood forms, however they are typically permitted with you after and up until they take you back for medical procedure. I had the longing for petition and my better half and family with me implored. It is a solace for myself and might be for you also. After medical procedure, they will have you in a recoup room where they will screen your circulatory strain and whatever other issues that may come up. They will watch out for your advancement leaving your anaesthesia. Typically, you are fit as a fiddle and a great deal loopy. Right now, the Doctor for the most part goes to your relative or whoever acquired you for medical procedure and give a record regarding how things went. They will know in front of you what went down and needed to occur. When they see fit that you are prepared, they will as a rule bring you once more into a similar room you were in when they put the IV's in. Here, you will almost certainly be with your friends and family once more. In the event that your family is in any way similar to mine, they will attempt to have a touch of fun with the thought you are "loopy" and ask you weird things or reveal to you peculiarities. Simply grin and humour them! Lastly, on the off chance that you don't need to remain in the medical clinic, they will send you home. For my neck medical procedure, I had to remain medium-term in the emergency clinic, however for the others, they were hard and fast patient. The one thing I stress the most is BE SURE TO FOLLOW YOUR AFTER-SURGERY INSTRUCTIONS!! Peruse them yourself and have the individual/s read them also. Make sure to focus if there is by all accounts anything incorrectly by any stretch of the imagination! Typically your gut will tell you and don't disregard them. For instance, and this isn't to alarm you, yet I know somebody quite recently who had medical procedure and a couple of days after he was home, he was topping off with his own dung since his colon was unintentionally cut off. The ER sent him home after only an IV of anti-infection agents. A few things do occur, simply make certain to know your body and hear it out. Do precisely what they let you know and on the off chance that you are sent home with the proper medications and guidelines for agony and disease, make certain to take them all the time until you feel yourself that you are prepared to quit taking them. On the off chance that you let the agony get excessively out of sight hand, it tends to be a major issue. With every medical procedure I had, every wa altogether different with the effects of nerves and different issues. Make sure to contact your Doctor on the off chance that they are not helping you or in the event that you are having issues with anything!! Remain over everything! It is alright to request help. Try not to be obstinate on the grounds that it can cause yourself superfluous torment and set you back. On the off chance that you need assistance doing some straightforward errands, it would be ideal if you approach a family or church part and even maybe a nearby neighbours who can get to you rapidly. More than likely, they are looking to help at any rate and couldn't imagine anything better than to help. Keep an ice pack close by on the grounds that that will be a go to after medical procedure. Have somebody get it for you on the off chance that you need it. Having a telephone close by is additionally an absolute necessity. It is great to get out and answer a call as opposed to whipping yourself attempting to answer telephone. Try not to OVERDO IT! You may feel like you are feeling so great one day that you figure, "I can do one or the other today," yet simply be moderate and gradually or you will pay for it. I had a scratch pad close me and composed a great deal of notes, particularly for discounting who visited or brought me blessings or sustenance. I was SO grateful for those people. I supplicate this was useful in setting you up for medical procedure. From the feelings and stressing to the after effects of medical procedure, there is a ton to consider. Attempt to stay up with the latest on things and let others help you in this procedure. Simply make sure to unwind and implore. Wishing you well and recuperating!

[vampyrslutton]

My Sides

What?! I was tagged? By @ts-anxiety-angst of all people?! I do not deserve this honor! Ive kind of wanted to do this! And i actually made a video with 3 of my sides as my final project for my video class so I already know my sides, but dont have them named. I alos kind of have like 6 because I can’t quite figure out how to combine some of them into one side.

Anxiety-Genderfluid-They/Them I myself am Genderfluid, and so is my Anxiety. They’re honestly a dick. They basically sit there, and make sure I that I feel like shit about myself even if I was feeling good. Basically the only positive thing they do is make me hang out with friends and go to stuff for fear we’ll miss something and be abandoned again. On the other hand though, they also make me over think going to things until I’m scared to go. They’re a jerk. Anyway, I picture them in black Harley Davidson boots, black pleather pants, black pleather biker vest with an androgynous hair style with a small ponytail, and the bags under their eyes from making sure I’m freaking out at 3 in the morning on a school night. They get along best with Schemes, and kind of hate Fandoms.

Fantasy-Male-He/Him Fantasy sits over on my more male identifying side and has been with me the second longest. I was obsessed with vampires and all things supernatural when I was 4 and I still am. As a result, he represents that love of myths, legends, and fantasy in all his vampiric glory. He literally has black dress shoes, black socks, black dress pants, a blood red dress shirt, red eyes, fangs, short black hair (dyed because mine is brown), and will sometimes wear a cape with a horribly cringy fake accent. He also harbors my creativity so is where my daydreams, fanfictions, and art come from as well as my love of acting. His personality is of refinement, sophistication, and gentlemanlyness. He likes Fandoms best despite how much she makes him cringe, and likes Perversion the least for their crudeness.

Fandoms-Female-She/Her She is the definition of that one cringey weeb scrolling through tumblr at all hours, openly going “OmG LOL sO RndM!!1!111!!!!!” that we all cringe about but secretly know we all have a small amount of. She wears black combat boots that kind of look like Maka Albarns, black and red school girl skirt, some sort of fandom shirt, black leather jacket with loads of buttons and pins, and hair died pink, purple, and red with a head band. She has the phandom catwhiskers, and is always speaking in refernces, old memes, and tumblr quotes without a care in the world. I guess she would harbour my Morality? She is incredibly bubbly with a screechy fangirl voice ,and just wants to have fun. She is where my inspiration for some creativity comes from which is why her and Fantasy get along so well. She’s also where my want to be a Voice Actor is. She gets along best with Fantasy, Schemes, and Perversion, but is basically Anxiety’s counter so doesn’t sit well with them.

Schemes-Genderfluid-They/Them I guess they could be considered my logic? They’re where most of my intellegenceis stored, basically where my evil plots come from and are my drama consultant when writing. They’re also the reason some have said I sould be an info broker. They’ve always been mischievious since we were little and were the first one as I’ve always liked to impress and or disturb adults with my knowledge. In the knowledge department, they have a fascination of loving to learn random facts that know one would take the time to learn or that they know sould disturb someone to know. They actually have an appreciation for zoology and biology while my other sides tend to focus on art and creativity. In terms of actual schemes, they’re always plotting how to mess with people, and if some one hurts me, you know they have the information to bring them down while making sure they never hurt anyone again. They like to be the big evil mastermind, but they still don’t want to hurt anyone unless they hurt us. They can easily manipulate and talk their way through anything. Schemes can be seen wearing gender neautral business casual in monochromes and dark reds and blues. While my other sides wear contacts, they wear business looking glasses. They say because the glare looks more evil, but its literally because we’re blind as a fucking bat without them. They’re best friends with Perversion, but due to some betrayals over the years, has become more cynical and is now close to Anxiety as well, working close with and manipulating them to avoid further betrayal. They don’t dislike anyone really as they recognize they’re all part of a whole so don’t see a point in disliking anybody.

Perversion-Female-She/Her “You and you’re search history are the reason we’re going to hell!” “*Smirks* Well you can’t spell Perversion without S.I.N.” Perversion or Sin, whichever you want to call her, she’s a tomboy and a major flirt. She is where my love of dirty jokes and fart humor comes from, and she isn’t afraid to make one whatever the situation. She loves working with Schemes to disturb people with a dirty joke or lewd info, just to see peoples recation. If she can slip an innuendo in somewhere, its already done. Now I said she’s a flirt and she is, but only if we’re dating someone and only towards that person otherwise its “Error 404: Witty comment not found. Insert dirty joke that will get us put in the brozone. Oh we’re at work? Stare and stutter like an idiot.” So basically she thinks, she’s a flirt, but she can’t for the life of her unless in costume. She doesn’t mind the BroZone. She’s comfortable there, and loves it there, but hates being there when she didn’t intend to be. Otherwise, she doesn’t mind and loves being one of the guys, and loves new guys’ reactions when she makes a dirty joke. She can be found wearing very tomboy attire, but in the most provacative way possible while still being perfectly decent cause, hey, we ain’t a hoe. She is best friends with Schemes, and loves meeting up with Fantasy and Fandoms to write fanfiction. She hates Anxiety because she blames them for our inability to flirt properly.

Lastly,

Adrenaline-Genderfluid-They/Them This crazy side is why people call me insane. They love ziplining while doing tricks, parasailing, skydiving, four-wheeling, dirt biking, and surfing. They’re also my love and skill or wrestling, weightlifting, martial arts, and boxing come from. They are my ability to take an extreme sport and in twenty minutes do it like I’ve been doing it all my life. They’re my determination, and passion, and my drive to keep up with the guys in a biologically female body. They are the reason I have a freakishly high pain tolerance and no fear. Basically if people think I’d be insane to try it, as long as it’s legal, Adrenaline’s motto will be “Hold my beer and watch this.” They’re the one that will make me put myself out there and talk to people every now and again. They also hold my minor obsession with piercing. They’re also the reason I’m thinking of learning pole dancing from watching Yuri!! on Ice, knife throwing from reading a fanfiction wear Thomas’s Anxiety knew how to throw knives, and I am voodoo after watching Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural despite Fantasy telling us not to fuck with that shit without proper training. Adrenaline will probably get me killed one day haha! They can be found in cargo shorts, hiking boots (despite not hiking), a tank top, sunglasses, and some sort of head gear depending on what they’re doing with a grin that says “This is gonna be awesome!” They’ll also have a knife hidden at all times so they can kick someone’s ass if hand to hand won’t work, but can otherwise take someone down that way. Adrenaline loves all the sides except for Anxiety. They blame them for our lack of friends, and know they aren’t wrong.

Did i do this right? I hope I did. Um, I don’t really have any tumblr friends yet so no one to tag so I guess tag yourself if you haven’t done this yet?

[chickenfetus]

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people (has anyone actually tagged that many thats wild)

tagged by: @softshouyous​ thank u faln love u

name: megan!!! blood type: im type A too!!!!! buds nickname(s): moonshine (falen), egg, nut (irl ppl bc of my ig being nutfucker69) r/s: im in a r/s with denki atm do not distrub zodiac sign: capricorn!! pronouns: she/her favorite tv shows: spongebob squarepants OR the fairly oddparents but i just realized these r cartoons..whatever…. i havent watched a proper tv show in years lmao long or short hair: like preference or rn bc if its rn its longish?? above my chest still but not above my shoulders height: 154 cm (i grew one cm ha) / i think its still 5′0 LOL do you have a crush on someone: heck.. idk if its a crush or just me being delusional and obsessive but iw ant it gonE what do you like about yourself: i get motivated when ppl do better @ smth im supposed to b good :-) right or left handed: right!!!! list of three favourite colors: sky blue, mint green (wow) and uhM, yellow the pastel kind 

right now: eating: my saliva  drinking: waht r the odds of drinking something right as u see this qn i’m about to: idk i gotta do hw but we’ll see listening to: anywhere but here by mayday parade kids: i have enough fictional ones thanks get married: but i already have lnace? career: tbh im just hoping i mysteriously die b4 i have 2 think abt this

most recent:

drink: water.,, i deadass dont drink anything else phone call: no one,,, i delet my chats + calll history a lot but i dont think ive actually had a conversation on the phone with someone this year lmao song you listened to: the one i said above but right now im listening to this by haniwa its good i promise

have you ever: dated someone twice: i havent even dated once lol been cheated on: no?? kissed someone and regretted it: listn ei am young  lost someone special: literally or just?? friendship wise because friendship wise ya… but if u mean like someone special died then no been depressed: the feeling or the actual thing  been drunk and thrown up: alcohol is not 4 me kissed a stranger: n o had glasses or contacts: ive had glasses since i was 6 lmao wild had sex on the first date: gee i hope not broken someone’s heart: who knows turned someone down: no cried when someone died: im actually p heartless fallen for a friend: who hasnt

in the last year have you: made a new friend: yeah,,,  fallen out of love: i actually ahve no idea what this means laughed until you cried: have i?? probably met someone who changed you: mmm mm found out who your true friends were: im still skeptical  found out someone was talking about you: i hate the end of last year + the start of this year kissed someone on your fb list: i dont even use fb anymore

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes? if i had 2 choose  hugs or kisses: huGSss  shorter or taller: i also prefer taller but shorter is fine too  romantic or spontaneous: ?????? sensitive or loud: anything???? hookup or relationship: relationship  troublemaker or hesitant: thes questions make no snese to me im laughning

first: best friend: jana ruined my life but she was a good friend  surgery: never had one sport i joined: either golf (fucking golf can u believe) or swimming im praying it was the latter vacation: probs 2 malaysia

do you believe in: yourself: lol no im so negative god i need 2 stop bc i think more and more ppl r leaving me bc of that, which is like understandable?? but i wanna change w/o becoming someone im not uHHGHHh hh  miracles: sometimes,, gotta see it 2 believe it love at first sight: nah heaven: maybe

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: uh all probs except for my first online friend  do you have any pets: i want  a d og or cat. .. . do you want to change your name: yeah do u guys think its possible 2 chnage it to nutfcuker69 what did you do for your last birthday: chilled at home, panicked abt holiday hw since.. my birthday is on fcuking 26 decemeber what time did you wake up today: 7:42 am kinda disappointed it wasnt earlier but wtv at least its not as bad as falen’s what were you doing last night at midnight: sleepiing like the good child i am something you can’t wait for: MAKI’S BIRHDAY SO I CAN FINALLY SCOUT i currently have 420 gems saved last time you saw your mom: half an hour ago what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: boy howdy there r alot of things.. maybe my attitude towards my irl friends??  have you ever talked to a person named tom: no i go to a girls school but im surprised there wasnt anybody named tom in my old primary school what’s getting on your nerves: atm its my inability to focus and how im such a sucker for this one person who i ? shoudlnt be thinking abt//? and yet!!! when willi ufckign rEALIZE its embarrassing how mcuh effort i put lmao 

tagging: lena, kacchan, andy, and anyone else (not gonna tag them rly bc idw yknow b a bother sO.. ….) (ps yall dont have to do it, if u somehow manage 2 see this and get this far lmao) 

[ratajota]

since watching kids cartoon analyisis on youtube induces a state of verborrhage, im gonna say a few things about nelyn that ive slightly tought about and just dont sound right to me anymore:

- there are many, MANY things that nelyn does that make absolutely no sense that were basically driven by my own teenage libido, which is, the endless gay longing of sweating while thinking about holding hands. a way late teens and adults dont normally behave. nelyn, im so sorry. in which:

1 - joining the telvanni and succeeding was one of those things. partly inspired because i just wanted my friends oc to be his friend and develop them together. it gave me a bullshit excuse in how in earth would nelyn manage to become a real hortator while having the charm and charisma of a rat in dunmeri political terms, and how in earth could nelyn become so magically powerful. i made it so nelyn magically succeeded despite everything just pointing to this not working. hell, he would make a better redoran.

there was this whole arc (which i would not discard) where he got an apprenticeship at port telvannis, since he needed Mage Papers to get a shot at being a proper telvanni, worked his ass off to be independent and sustain himself, while receiving all sorts of academic mistreatment and backlash. basically, rigurous magic methods versus the purely intuitive unmethodic magic of nelyn, and also, he can´t read. the sheer discrimination of it all. he learned much more and grew more as a person by doing labor in the island than in academy, then went back to vvardenfel. originally, he did become an Alternative Alteration Smart Master Wizord, but this is just out of character. at most, he is a crazy philosopher greatly influenced by other crazy boethians

2 - those brief times with teldryn and julan that were continuously scrapped and rewritten because guess what.... didnt make sense because they all strongly clash personality wise. with teldryn, theres this great naivety of liking the first person that treats you more or less okay, with julan, which i constantly had to stop writing and twist things because they would get REALLY heated up and hated each other forever because they are both determined hot headed little shits and really had no reason to travel together (nelyn would Never give him the pleasure of letting him believe he was the neverbrain). also, this reeks a lot like transmasculine fear

i will not talk about hassim. thats too embarrassing. but consider that whole ordeal also another mistake

notice how nelyn has no acquaitances or FRIENDS and only guys that he has weird homo tension or unrequited/failed relationships with? this is called the author was a queer 16 years old with very little life experience and a lot of idealization.

3 - the weird themes around masculinity. Nelyn obviously goes from being curious, sensible/sensitive, negociating, perceptive and wary of the world and spirits, being very connected to them, to completely brazen and colluding with everything in his path, twisting everything to fit his destiny and reshaping his narrative. it makes a bit of sense if you understand that he came from a place where everything went more or less swimmingly for him, that he was doing great, was loved and everything he did was fantastic, and he harbored a quiet resentment for the very few things that were not allowed for him (ethnic belonging, a bloodline, normality as in not being a witch, the empire seeping in windhelm). it is public knowledge that morrowind simply treats anybody like shit, and boy was nelyn greatly offended. Nelyn never really acts or approaches the spiritual matters of morrowind with genuine respect and love as he treated those of skyrim, he did it with great interest, yes, but there was this very strong intention of FIXING THINGS HIS WAY, instead of feeling he was talking and negociating with a force of nature. again, aedric vs daedric stuff

there´s this thing where nelyn goes from being a very disorientated tourist having constant meltdowns (which always end in some sort of “fuck these people” realization that drives him forward - he is simply unable to sink and give up, its something hardwired in him for some reason) to a hortator, with all that word means. i took the mantling stuff into the story as well, nelyn becomes as golden as nerevar and doesnt really return to his senses until the main events are over and allows himself to suffer.. this all is casually happening as he transitions. theres this clear narrative where he stops being a victim and becomes the one holding the reins, or maybe the whip. metaphysical demonization of transmasculinity trope?

nelyn is also greatly overpowered, but for a long time, it´s absolutely useless and more of an obstacle to basic normal function. being almost unable to battle despite knowing how to use axe due to the overwhelming sensations of either the dagoth corruption or daedric energies. again, in a point of the story, he goes from passively perceiving things and communicating with them (often going very wrongly for him), and learns to materialize his will and force reality to do what he wanted, no longer listens to the world around him.

this all by itself is neutral, it does not have a relationship with gender, but at some point i just made nelyn trans just because, with little thought. i dont know if i can freely talk about this since people get their jimmies rustled, but i dont think anyones gonna care in this dying platform. it all casually ties with the hortator and conqueror themes. many times after 2017 i came across nelyn and wondered how does a person that looks, feels, and thinks like two different people at the same time can be the same person. the obvious answer is yes, these two are contained by the other one at the same time, there´s always a presence of this mystical nelyn in the more emotional matters, and theres always a hortator nelyn coming to the rescue in his earliest moments, driving him forward.

4 - nelyns transition doesnt make sense, and so doesnt the lore i constructed around it. flesh magic, good, ok, we get it, totally lore friendly. but theres no real reason why would someone with little to no problems with their physical appearance, who didnt think that an operation that is not life-saving exists, or that someone very androgynous would jump right into such drastic things just because a wizard told them they could do it. i have a lot of conflicting views of him, his image and his presentation, but his hypermasculinization, when we dont really know what it means and is necessary to be a man in morrowind, and supposedly there is gender equality in skyrim is like... wherever is this sudden short hair and stern manliness coming from? i know, PROJECTION

5- there have been a Lot of arcs that were thought about after the end of the main quest, telvanni mage nelyn, oblivion playthrough, just descent into madness, and most recently, a return to skyrim with an eventual return to morrowind. for some reason, they all meet this dead point where nelyn just breaks and cannot deal with it all anymore, with no more willpower or knowing what he wants to do, when his character for a lot of time was based on that. someday i will know the reason for this

6- i dont even remember how much i twisted the mq into something of a huge scale but definitely unrealistic

[gocasualrunawaycollection-blog]

New York New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 10174

"New York New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 10174

New York New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 10174

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New York New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 10174

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New York New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 10174

New York New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 10174

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Hello, i received a citation for driving uninsured a couple days ago (my court date is the 15th). I got a letter in the mail today saying i would have to pay a fine of $300.... ...show more""

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Hey! I pay car insurance under both of my parents vehicles but don't actually own one myself. The cars are not registered in my name or anything, I just want to specify that I AM on the insurance and that I PAY for it (I literally use my own money) myself. My question is: If I pay to be on the insurance, am I legally allowed to drive the vehicle without permission from the owner, since I pay for the insurance. Any response will be much appreciated. Thanks!""

""Car insurance rates are through the roof and I don't know why, help!?""

I need help with car insurance, I'm having some problems. Okay, I'm a 21 year old single, never married, male and I got my driver's license when I was 18 in March 2008. Now, I know my car insurance rates are high because I'm young and a guy, but here's the problem. I see people who are about my same age who have been driving for the same amount of time as and have no accidents, violations, or tickets like me. My car insurance rates are ridiculously high, I mean insanely high, even compared to others my age. My younger brother even, he's had his license for a year, he's 19, and had 3 speeding tickets and still pays less than me. On average for my car insurance rates, getting quotes online range from about $1500 all the way up to $2500 for 6 months! I used old vehicles, new vehicles, safe vehicles, unsafe vehicles, every kind of car/truck you could imagine and my projected rates are still through the roof. For example, for full coverage with the minimum amounts and highest deductibles, my insurance on a 2010 Mazda 3 would be about $1800-$2300 for 6 months. However, I also got a quote for a 1997 Ford Escort and the same exact coverage is still $1200-$1300. I don't get why my rates are so much higher. A coworker of mine is 21 years old, not married, no tickets, and has had his license since 18 like me, and he has a 2007 Mazda 6 and he only pays about $170 a month, which translates to about ~$1050 for 6 months. I put in my information including SSN on the same company's web site that he uses (Geico) and my insurance rates are about $1700 for 6 months. So my question is why are my insurance rates so high? I have no tickets, no moving violations, no accidents, nothing, and yet insurance rates are so high. I figure SOMETHING has to be on my driving record, but I can't imagine what. How can get a copy of or look at my driving record? I just want to know why my rates are so much higher than other people, male or female, who are about my age and have been driving for about the same amount of time and yet I still pay 2x or 3x as much as me. Please help me out! =)""

Best insurance for young driver?

I live in Ontario, and I am looking for the best (or give me a list) of relatively cheap companies. I am 16 years old, but gathering information for when I am 17-18. My parents are currently with State Farm, but I am looking to purchase a Mini Cooper (y. 2000-2004), so what would be the best option for me? A list of good insurance companies would be helpful, and any additional information is great. Thank you in advanced, Spencer""

New York New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 10174

New York New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 10174

How much is it to rent a car per day in costa rica w/the necessary insurance [of course-4 wheel drive]?

How much is it to rent a car per day in costa rica w/the necessary insurance [of course-4 wheel drive]?

Fun *cheap* summer vehicle in Ontario?

What's up guys; 19 year old college student here with the summer off. I already have a job, car, and apartment, and I'm looking for a cheap summer vehicle that would be fun to drive around. I've considered a small sportsbike, but due to my young age the insurance is an absolute killer. So, I was looking at scooters. No insurance, cheap to buy (about $600), and pretty fun to drive around. They won't keep up with traffic, sure, but it'd still be an interesting ride. (Too dorky?) Any other recommendations for a cheap, fun summer vehicle?""

Whats a good car from the year 1996 to 2002 for a 16 year old boy so that the insurance is cheaper?

Whats a good car from the year 1996 to 2002 for a 16 year old boy so that the insurance is cheaper?

Is it a legal requirement to advise your car insurance company of a speeding fine?

My 24 year old son has his car insurance renewal coming up soon, and unfortunately he picked up a fixed penalty speeding fine and 3 points on his licence for this first misdemeanour he has had in 4 years of driving. With his insurance still over 1000 for a 10 year old Rover 25! he doesn't really want anything to make this cost any more (it's not as if it is a serious offence). However, I have told him it is best to advise his insurance company of this offence as if they find out in future renewal years he has withheld this information, he may be penalised worse. What's the legal standpoint on this matter? Keep schtum or confess?""

Car Insurance Company have had my car for OVER A YEAR.?

Ok, so this is a little complicated... Oct 2008 I had a car accident. My car was written off. My car was towed to a garage and was held there while the insurance company evaluated the damage. THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I SAW MY CAR. Because the size of my excess (800) and the amount of damage matched the value of the car (800) I was advised it would be pointless to claim on the insurance and it was written off. The accident was my fault and I held my hands up and admitted it and the other party walked away with everything sorted. No suggestion of fraud and certainly nothing fraudulent on my part. Towards the end of 2008 my insurance company started falling off the radar, not returning my calls or my emails, letters etc. I repeatedly asked what I was supposed to do next (I'd never had an accident before and the whole process confused me because they kept giving me conflicting info) and where my car was. I was ignored (or given incorrect info). In the end I declared a SORN on the car and had so much going on in my personal life, I forgot about it, knowing the car was off the road. Anyway, I'm now trying to track the car down as the SORN is about to run out. Insurance company are still off the radar and refusing to answer. Now they're saying they have no record of me, my policy OR my car. So I've lost my car, I don't know who's got it and yet I'm still liable for it. What can I do? Can I get the police involved? Trading standards? ANYTHING? I don't care about the car, whoever has it can keep it! I just don't want to be liable for it! By the way, the insurance company involved is SwiftCover.com, in case anyone is thinking of going with them because they're cheap. They're cheap because they're RUBBISH.""

Cheapest Auto Insurance Humanly Possible?

I am a college student living on campus and want to have a car but will not be driving it much at all. I am just looking for the most basic and least expensive auto insurance I can find. I am 19 with no tickets or accidents yada yada yada. Where can I find some cheap coverage?

What health insurance company is the best value?

I want to sign up for health insurance but I'm not sure which company to go through as there are so many. I'm a 21 year old male with little income (about $1200 a month) with no dependents or job benefits. I went through the healthcare marketplace from the federal government which just said I need to get medicaid. I'm in the process of applying for medicaid as well. But if the medicaid doesn't work out or isn't very effective what is anyone's opinion on the best insurance company for me. I'm looking to spend only around $100 for a monthly premium. Any feedback will help me narrow it down and know what to consider. Thanks for the help.

Does my Jaguar qualify for classic car insurance?

I have a 1996 (N) Reg Jaguar XJ 3.2 Sport, is it eligible for classic car insurance??""

Isn't Ameriplan Insurance The Same Scam as Obama Care/Affordable Health?

All They did was Steal Other people's Identifying Information and the Insurance once called Ameriplan, never netted any gains for the holders of those plans. Just Wondering?""

What would be the car insurance group for a renault megane cabrio dymanique 1600cc?

I am selling my car and have been asked what insurance group it is please.

""Where can l find low cost Dental care in Orange County,CA?""

I would like to find low cost dental care in O.C,but the one l find on the net is called Medical Discounts International,Inc, l don't believe it's a government program and l have my reservations. Is government programs better than private ones? Any agencies that are reliable and good? Thanks.""

How much is a ticket for driving without insurance in washington state?

I pay almost $900 every six months and I'm sick of it. I've never been pulled over and I only commute 6 miles to work and an occasional trip to the grocery store. It sounds like it would be cheaper risking getting pulled over and get a ticket than to pay the insurance. Anybody have an idea how much the ticket would be?

What companies has cheap car insurance for college students?

Im a college student and wants to get off my my parents car insurance its currently 97.00 a month she said thats the cheapest it would be because I would have to pay 500 or 800 in advance or something like that. But i want to be independent and just pay it myself under my own plan ...any suggested car insurance companies?

I need Health Insurance!!!?

The problem is the my COBRA Health insurance is going to run out within 5 month. It cost me $380 per month, for me only. As of October 2006, my COBRA health insurance no longer covered my medicine, which cost me over $300 per month out of my pocket. I am 35 years old with no medical problem. The current company I am working for the past 10 months refusedto hire me in as an employee, so I am still a temp. What health insurance do you recommend for basic coverage? And how long does the process takes? (1 month, 2 months, 3 months, etc...)""

How do you justify an insurance company raising rates by 39% for individual policies?

California insurance regulators asked Anthem Blue Cross to delay controversial rate increases of as much as 39% for individual policies, hikes that have triggered widespread criticism from subscribers and brokers -- and now from the federal government. In a rare step, the Obama administration called on California's largest for-profit insurer to justify its rate hikes, saying the increases were alarming at a time when subscribers face skyrocketing healthcare costs. http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-anthem-obama9-2010feb09,0,4384044.story""

I am retired federal employee & want info on car insurance rates?

I am retired federal employee & want info on car insurance rates?

""Where is best for cheap car insurance for a new driver, curfew insurance?""

I am just turning 17 and want to know the cheapest insurance companies out there. I know Quinn direct is good, but are there any better ones. I also know that there are curfew insurance companies that stop you going out after 11 and before 5 in the morning, but what are the companies called? Thanks""

Is my car covered under my insurance?

I have a 2008 car that has full coverage even though it is paid off. My wife is not on the insurance. I am a former cop and from what she told me, the other vehicle is at fault because he came into her lane and hit our car, but there was no police report. I already called my insurance company and gave the normal information. My question is... will my car be covered because she is not on my insurance? I have been reading and people say the car is covered, not the driver so it should be, but I also read someone who said if someone lives with you and you did not tell the insurance company they could have possession of your car, that they may not cover it. I was a cop, but only did the reports. I didn't deal with insurance so I am naive when it comes to this stuff. I am okay with things going the way they should, but I don't want the insurance company tricking me into some minor technicality that will keep them from covering me. Is there anything I should do or not do? It was damage from the front to the back and we cannot afford to pay for it ourselves.""

I'm added to my parents car insurance policy. . .?

I'm added to my parents car insurance policy. But the insurance card (the copy of insurance you keep in the glove box) don't have my name on it. Is this normal for insurance ...show more

""I hit someon because of rain related skid, no one got ticket. Can I claim from their insurance my car damage?""

We pay insurance to cover us in accidents and my friends are telling me that it is my fault because I hit from behind. I say that it was out of my control and the skid just happenned becaus eof the weather. Can I be able to claim from other person Insurance company. I only had liability and it wasn't my insurance as I was driving someone else's car. Cn someone with their experience guide me, what will be the best way to take car eof it. the other car did not have any damage but my car has about $900 damage. If I take it to a reputable car place it might go upto $1500. Thanks in advance""

Adjudicated speeding citation: what happens to insurance in Florida?

My parents handle my car insurance (Hartford). Go to college in Miami. Parents also live in Miami. Got my 1st speeding ticket (38 mph in a 30 mph zone), took the class, had the citation adjudicated/cleared. Would rather not have my parents find out. A) Will the insurance show my driving record or citation history to my parents? B) Does Florida law allow ANY charges to insurance after points have been cleared?""

Health insurance transplant patients affordable?

affordable prescription meds. for transplanted patients plus affordable health insurance for same.

Who offers the best life insurance in Illinois?

simple enough. ive done my research and the best i can find is either American Income Life insurance or State farm. anyone have either of these and think they are reasonable?

Insurance while overseas?

I am wanting to travel overseas to join my wife but wondered if something happened to my family (in the future) and I need money fast to travel back is there some kind of insurance I could take out before I leave?

What's the best CAR Insurance?

i'm trying to save myself some money. if you know just tell me which car insurance is the best and cheapest.

New York New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 10174

New York New York Cheap car insurance quotes zip 10174

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