#but it's still like... he was a part of my daily life for like... 4-5 years

[colorisbyshe]

people i havent spoken to in years messaging me to ask if i'm okay just for me to have to report that like i'm shaken but i never liked him anyways but like hey thanks for thinking of me

[spooky-pomegranate]

Eyes on Fire (pt 6)

*Enemies to Lovers inspired by the Year Zero music video*

Papa Emeritus II x Reader (18+) Word Count: 9.3k Read on AO3 Get caught up: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Summary: Your daily life is upended after becoming Secondo's assistant. Meanwhile, Secondo comes to a startling revelation as he struggles to keep his emotions in check.

*apologies for the delay. literally fell down a flight of stairs and broke my hand. but we're back baby and better than ever. (Dividers by @wrathofrats)

Out beyond the summer gardens, there is a seldomly walked path. It twists and turns around broken trees, large boulders, and the placid waters of a glacial lake. There’s nothing important on the path anymore, or at least that’s what the upper clergy tells its youngest siblings, but the footpath is dangerous. It’s been decades since the ministry diverted funds away from maintaining it to build a straighter and safer walkway from the Abbey down to the lake’s oftused beachfront. Any markers that used to stand along the old route are long gone and the only indication a path used to exist at all are the faint traces of gravel that peek out from blankets of fallen leaves and overgrown grass. 

Most sane people avoid the old path. It’s not worth the risk they say. But every morning two creatures, one man and one ghoul, walk that crooked and crumbling path and neither is afraid…because they both know a secret. That at the very end of the path lies the most magical place on the Abbey’s grounds. 

The sun was still asleep as Secondo and Alpha walked along the forgotten pathway until they reached a chapel. Although it should be noted the chapel didn’t look much like a place of worship. It much better resembled an ancient ruin. Only three stone walls remained standing. Two were at half their original height and the third somehow still towered over Secondo’s head. There was no door. It had rotted away centuries ago, and the floor made of stone, was covered in a layer of dark green moss that was so thick it felt like a heavily weighted carpet underfoot. The only piece of furniture left in the ruins was an altar that had been crafted long ago from beautifully marbling petrified wood. But despite its well-worn appearance, when Secondo found this place years ago he immediately knew it was special. He could feel it in the air.  

Anyone who enters the Abbey, whether they are a follower of the Dark Lord or not, can feel dark magic around them. It’s often been described as an incorporeal haze. Although unseen, it lingers in every corner of the building and sits a bit heavy around you. In certain places, like the crypts and the ghoul dens, the haze is stronger. You can feel it physically. It brushes against your skin like a soft summer breeze or the flutter of silk bedsheets. But in all his years living in the Abbey Secondo never found anywhere where the haze was as strong as it was in the old chapel. 

So it’s here that every morning Secondo comes to start his day, to offer his thanks, and to hope that maybe today will be the day the Dark Lord finally speaks to him. Normally each morning in the crumbling chapel is the same. Secondo kneels before the altar repeats a round of prayers and offers any confession he deems necessary. Alpha kneels quietly beside Secondo and speaks only when spoken to. Any prayer the fire ghoul makes to his Lord is a silent one. This routine never changes. Every day is the same. 

But the morning after your stunt in Secondo’s bedroom, things went differently. Before Secondo could kneel Alpha was apologizing, spilling out words faster than Secondo could acknowledge them. 

“I’m so sorry about last night Papa. I didn’t want to disobey you. I should have never allowed it. I didn’t mean to offend-” Secondo held up a gloved hand and the fire ghoul caught his tongue. 

“It’s fine, Alpha.” 

The ghoul’s eyes snapped from the mossy ground up to his master, “Really? You’re not upset?” 

“Really,” Secondo answered truthfully. “I asked you to make sure she wanted for nothing and you did as I asked. I cannot be upset with you for that.” 

“Thank you, Papa,” Alpha sighed before bowing his horned head and inhaling deeply. Secondo eyed the ghoul carefully, looking over every inch of his guard. Alpha looked tired. Worn down. Exhausted. His shoulders rolled forward and his orange eyes looked more dull than normal. 

Secondo wondered if the fire ghoul was as burnt out as he was. 

Since his summoning two decades ago Alpha had always been a quiet ghoul. He hardly ever initiated conversations with humans and if the whispers around the Abbey were to be taken as truth, Alpha’s silence was born from his deep-seated distaste of human nature. Secondo knew that wasn’t really true but he saw how siblings often gave Alpha a wide berth when they passed him in the halls. He heard the names they called him. Most siblings avoided ghouls. But they practically ran from Alpha. 

Secondo never understood the cruelty. He had never really minded the fire ghoul’s reticence. He’d actually asked Primo for care of Alpha because he liked the ghoul’s quiet nature so much. It didn’t hurt that Alpha was more reliable and trustworthy than any sibling Secondo had ever met. 

And they had an understanding. 

Or so he thought. 

Secondo had always assumed that Alpha enjoyed their quiet moments together and lack of idle chit chat, but looking at the fire ghoul now he was starting to wonder if Alpha’s care was another item to add to his list of failures. Had he ignored signs that Alpha was struggling? Should he have been checking in with him more? Was Alpha suffering in silence like he was? Did he even like being by Secondo’s side? 

“Alpha?” 

“Yes.”

“Are you happy?” 

In all their time together Secondo had never asked Alpha that question. He wondered it many times but self-preservation had always held his tongue. Secondo had faults. He knew that. He wasn’t completely blind. But if Alpha hated him. If he hated his daily life then Secondo might just fall apart. He couldn’t be Papa alone. 

“What do you mean, Papa?” 

Santanas. 

He was going to have to spell it out. Secondo wanted to dig a hole in the moss under his feet and bury himself alive. 

“Are you happy by my side? Do you enjoy your life,” Secondo paused, swallowing against the self-preservation that had somehow turned to ash in his throat, “Do you enjoy your life with me?” 

Alpha blinked.

Secondo knew Ghouls were terrible liars. Something in their design made them brutally honest. It had something to do with being born from the brimstone of His fire. Or maybe it was because they were formed by the make of His hands? Secondo could never quite remember how the story went. Primo had told it to him so long ago when he was just a boy. But Secondo knew that while ghouls could joke and play around… for the most part they spoke plainly when asked direct questions. Normally that was something Secondo admired. He liked honesty. He liked people and creatures who spoke the truth. But right now Secondo wished Alpha was more human than hellspawn. He wished he would lie. He wished for anything but the truth because he knew it would sting. 

“No.” There it was. The answer he knew was coming. The sting hurt more than he’d expected. “No, most days I am not happy with you Papa.” 

Secondo turned away from Alpha and looked at the crumbling chapel wall. He felt like a fool. After so much failure the fire ghoul had been the only thing keeping him grounded. He’d been the only one who’d stood by his side. But now Secondo was realizing that maybe that was a bad thing. Maybe it was selfish to hold on so tight. Maybe he should set Alpha free. After all, why should two people drown in misery when one is far less cruel? 

“Would you like to return to Primo?” 

“No, Papa.” 

“Are you sure?” Secondo asked finding the courage to turn and look at his ghoul. “He will welcome you and your place in the band won’t change unless you want it to.” 

Alpha blinked again and Secondo tried to brace himself for another sting. “I don’t think my life here is about being happy. I know you’re doing important work and I want to be a part of your legacy.” 

Secondo didn’t know what to say. 

He didn’t know if he liked that answer. 

“But I was happy yesterday…” 

…with her. 

Alpha left the final two words unspoken and Secondo was thankful. His self-preservation was already teetering on the brink of collapse and he couldn’t bear to be pushed any further otherwise he’d have to die right here in this run-down place.

Secondo hummed in affirmation before closing his eyes. 

Alpha had been happy with you. 

You. 

Secondo thought of you. 

He thought of your eyes and how differently they had looked at Terzo last night. He thought of how happy and relaxed they’d been, pupils for once not blown wide from anger but instead sparkling with joy. Their iridescent color simply shining. He thought of your hair and how he’d finally seen it free from your veil. He thought of how soft your curls looked falling in waves around your bare shoulders. He thought of your face and how your lips had twisted up into that saccharine smile. A smile he’d never seen before and wondered if he’d ever see again. 

You had been happy. 

Alpha had been happy. 

Everyone in his entire damn room had been happy. 

There had been so much laughter, dancing, and joy. There had been so much happiness so much glee…and then he’d ruined it. Snuffed it out like depriving a flame oxygen. Secondo took a deep breath and tried to push away his own self-loathing. 

He thought of you again and the ache in his chest started to burn. It spread moving from deep in his lungs out until everything burned. Then suddenly Secondo started to cough. He coughed so hard that his eyes watered and Alpha immediately came to his side. A clawed hand gripping his shoulder. 

Secondo waved him off, trying to compose himself but the haze… it had never been this thick in the chapel before. Secondo could feel it sticking to his throat and sliding down into his belly. And then for the first time in his life, Secondo tasted dark magic. It was sweet like honey and floral like roses. 

If only he could have known how he would be chasing that flavor for the rest of his life. 

Apparently, you weren’t just Secondo’s Imperatrix. You were his assistant now too. 

You showed up to Secondo’s office at six am as he’d asked and were greeted with the biggest stack of paperwork you’d ever seen. The daunting thing dwarfed the tiny desk you’d been given and spilled onto the floor and over the carpet in Secondo’s office. There wasn’t much of an order to things and Secondo’s instructions on getting through the pile had been curt. Sign these. Edit this. Transcribe that. 

But truthfully you were thankful he didn’t have much more to say to you. You didn’t want to talk about what happened last night. You’d done enough of your own cross-examination, staying up half the night replaying it over and over and over again in your head while trying and failing to fall asleep. 

You’d nearly let him kiss you. What in the actual fuck had you been thinking? Papa Emeritus the Second. You’d actually let him corner you, and touch you, and tease you, and for some ungodly reason when it was all happening, you had wanted it. You had wanted him. Something in you had shifted and you became an animal motivated solely by the lust of their heat. Warmth had coiled in your belly like a snake and even a cold shower hadn’t been enough to quench what he’d started. Embarrassingly the only thing that eventually helped you get to sleep was the little battery-powered toy you kept in your bedside table. 

In the daylight of his office, knowing that you had made yourself come thinking about Secondo made you squirm. All that teasing had probably meant nothing to him anyway. You were probably just another sister in a long line of siblings he played games with. You felt toyed with like a mouse batted about by a house cat. Embarrassment was creeping in, especially since he hadn’t spent more than a few seconds looking at you since sat down at your new desk. 

Secondo was focused on his own stack of paperwork. While it wasn’t nearly the same size as yours he never seemed to take his eyes off it. He barely even took a second to blink. The man worked like a dog. 

If Secondo wasn’t signing papers he was on the phone. And when he wasn’t on the phone he was writing sermons and speeches and internal documents that were somehow all passed due. He never took a break, stretched his legs, or stopped for a sip of water. With everything expected of him, you started to realize there wasn’t time. There was always more to do, someone to answer to, or something that needed to be fixed. But Secondo was like a machine. He never ran out of steam. All you could do was try your best to keep up and before you knew it half the day was gone. 

Your head was pounding from so much reading and writing that you nearly cried tears of joy when the lunch bells rang. 

“Should I call the kitchens and tell them you’ll be in the dining room shortly, Papa?” 

You stood up for the first time in hours and walked around the desk, feeling the stiffness in your legs from sitting for so long. Secondo finally looked up from his work and his mismatched eyes met yours.

“No, I’m not hungry. Just bring me a cup of coffee and some water from the dining hall,” he replied coldly before turning back to his papers. You nodded and scurried out of his office thankful to finally look at anything besides the horde of papers. 

As you walked through the Abbey toward the dining hall you spotted Mountain as he tended to some of the Abbey’s ficus trees in the main hall. With a pair of sheers in his hand, he looked up and offered you a warm smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes. 

“Hey, little flower. How’s your head?” 

“Ugh,” you groaned posting up against the cool stone wall as you watched him primp and prune the small tree. “I don’t know why Alpha likes absinthe. I felt like there were bees in my head this morning.” 

Mountain chuckled before setting down his sheers and picking up a water canister at his feet. “Well, I had a great time. Dew won’t shut up about it either. Says he wants you to throw him a birthday party next week.” 

“Wasn’t his birthday last month?” 

“Yeah,” Mountain said moving further down the hall to another cluster of trees that needed watering, “but he said the one we threw him was lame.”  

“What?!” you cried following Mountain as he inspected the soil, digging his large fingers into one of the ficus’s pots. “He literally rode a bear!”

“I know! That’s exactly what I said. Little guy’s never satisfied,” he said shaking his head. “But anyway, how are you? Or maybe a better question is how much trouble are you in with Papa?” 

You paused for a moment and watched Mountain work. His fingertips idly traced the soft petals of a ficus tree inspecting it for rot and insect damage. It was amazing how such a large creature could care for something so fragile. 

“None,” you answered.“ I think Papa promoted me.” 

Mountain’s fingers froze over the leaves before he turned to look at you fully. “He what?” 

“I’m his assistant now I guess. He asked me to come to his office this morning and I’ve just been doing paperwork since. I was headed to get him some coffee now actually.” 

Even though Mountain was masked and the only sliver of his face you could see were his emerald eyes you could tell he was shocked. His dark green pupils blinked at you slowly, like he was trying to calculate the speed of the earth’s orbit divided by its distance to the sun. 

“You’ve got to be the only person in this place who can get away with what you did last night.” 

“Yeah maybe…” you trailed off before suddenly remembering something important you’d been meaning to ask Mountain. “Hey. While we're here I have a weird question for you. It’s about Primo’s garden.” 

“Shoot, little one.” 

“Have you seen any snakes out there lately?” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen any actually. Pretty sure Primo does some sort of magic to keep them away. Looking for a new pet?”

Apparently, you were going to have to take a trip out to the gardens and ask the old Papa some questions. But that was fine you were overdue for a chat with the eldest Emeritus anyway. 

“Nah. It’s a long story. There’s a lot I need to tell you. But I really need to get going,” you said picking up Mountain’s watering can and handing it back to the big ghoul. “I probably shouldn’t test Papa’s patience anymore after last night.”

“Why don’t you come to the dens tonight? Aeth is cooking and I can make you a batch of the new tea I’ve been working on.” 

“Sure Mount,” you called out over your shoulder already walking toward the dining hall, “See you then.”  

The dining hall was busy. 

Siblings and clergy members piled in from all corners of the Abbey, settling down at the long wooden tables for their midday meal. The room smelled of hearty stew and freshly baked bread. Summer was ending quickly and the kitchen staff had already started to transition from lighter fare to heavier, colder-weather meals. You’d miss the strawberry salads and cold gazpacho but fall was your favorite. Spiced cider, fresh apples from the orchard, warm shepherd's pie, those were the best. 

You grabbed a large tray from the end of the buffet and waited in line. With every minute that passed a quiet pounding started to grow against your temples. 

Thud. Thud.  

Thud. Thud. 

Thud. Thud. 

You could feel it. A migraine was starting to build. The warm food couldn’t come quickly enough. 

As you approached the front of the line, you selected a portion of the hearty stew with chunks of tender venison and root vegetables, a slice of warm crusty bread, and a generous helping of crisp apple slices drizzled with honey. 

“Is that all Sister?” One of the kitchen staff, an older brother with dark hair greying around his ears, asked. 

Thud. Thud.  

Thud. Thud. 

Thud. Thud. 

The pounding in your head grew louder. 

“Actually uh…” you stammered, looking down at your tray and smelling the delicious food. “Can I have a second serving of the same thing?” 

“Sure thing,” the brother replied with a kind smile, ladling another portion of the stew into a second bowl. 

Secondo might get pissed but you were going to bring him back food. If he was anything like you, or even remotely human, you wagered he was sporting a similarly splitting headache. 

You carried the loaded tray before collecting two cups of coffee and two glasses of water from the drink station. Balancing the stacked tray, you navigated through the bustling hall and carefully avoided any wandering feet and stray elbows. But just as you were about to walk out the door a high-pitched voice called your name. 

“Sister… sister wait up.” The corners of Sister Luciana’s lips quirked upward, but her twisted and forced smile didn’t reach her eyes as she jogged over to you. 

“Sister Luciana,” you replied, setting your heavy tray down on a nearby table. “What can I do for you?”

“Oh aren’t you so sweet,” she cooed and you had to bite your lip to keep from rolling your eyes. “I just wanted to see if you’re okay. No one’s seen you in two days and I’ve been so worried about you.” 

Satanas. How fake could one person be? 

“Thank you for your concern, Sister Luciana,” you replied politely, masking your annoyance. “I was under the weather but I’m better now.” 

It’d be a cold day in hell before you’d tell Luciana the truth that you’d blacked out in the catacombs after talking to Lucifer and were held hostage by Papa in his suite for 24 hours. 

“Glad to hear you’re feeling better,” Sister Luciana replied. Her eyes scanned you from head to toe like she was trying to catch the lie on you. “I gotta tell ya I heard some of the younger sisters talking, you know how they like to gossip, and some of them seem to think you’ve been promoted to Secondo’s assistant. There’s no way that’s true right? He wouldn’t choose you for that.” Luciana’s eyes darted from you to the tray and the two servings of stew steaming on it. 

It was people like Luciana who reminded you why you avoided friendships with siblings. Anyone overhearing your conversation probably thought she was a concerned friend. Merely a sweet sister who was worried about you after your prolonged absence. But you knew better. This conversation had nothing to do with you. Luciana only ever looked out for herself. If she was here in the dining room at lunch it meant she wasn’t in Papa’s dining room. She was just worried that someone was taking away her access to Papa. And for a sibling like Luciana power and status were everything. 

“You know how rumors spread like wildfire around here,” you said, forcing a casual laugh. “But who knows what goes on behind Papa’s doors right?”

The skepticism was obvious in Sister Luciana's eyes, but you tried to keep your expression neutral. She smiled at you again and wished you better health. Luckily you were able to slink away without her pestering you further. 

You briskly walked through the halls of the Abbey, the tray heavy in your hands as you made your way back to Secondo's office. The pounding in your head had only gotten worse after talking with Luciana, and with each step, you could feel your pulse beat through your skull. 

When you opened the door to his office, Secondo was in the same place you’d left him, seated at his desk with the big stack of papers in front of him. His brow was still furrowed deep in concentration. 

“I brought you some lunch,” you said, setting the tray down on the tiny open corner of your desk. “I know you asked just for coffee, but they had stew today and it just smelled so good I thought you might want some.” 

For the first time all morning, Secondo looked up from his work. His eyes darted between the tray of warm food and you. 

He stood from his desk and you braced yourself for a reprimanding. You closed your eyes and waited for the fire and fury to rain down on you. 

Thud. Thud.  

Thud. Thud. 

Thud. Thud. 

The pounding in your head shifted to your heart. 

Thud. Thud.  

Thud. Thud. 

Thud. Thud. 

It was going to burst. 

You shot your hand to your chest and rubbed tiny circles trying to massage away the pain. 

But then the cool slide of leather brushed against your chin and you opened your eyes. Pain forgotten, Secondo tilted your face to meet his gaze. You stared into marble white and mossy green. You had expected his eyes to darken the way they did when he was angry, the green becoming nearly black and the white more piercing than an arrow. But Secondo wasn’t looking at you like that. 

He looked thankful, pleased, and dare you say it… glad. 

There was a moment before you remembered to breathe. 

You could smell him. Cologne, spice, and incense. The swirling muddled scent clung to everything. You swallowed it all down but the beast from last night returned and it wanted more. 

To taste… would it be so bad to push forward and just have a taste of him?  

Your lips parted and you breathed in deeply. 

“Thank you,” he said simply, his voice barely above a whisper as his thumb brushed against your cheek. “You didn’t have to bring me this.”

Then without another word, Secondo’s gloved hand slipped from your jaw, he picked up his bowl of stew and returned to his desk. 

Thud. Thud.  

Thud. Thud. 

Thud. Thud. 

As Secondo walked away the pulse in your heart returned to your head. 

You’d almost let him do it again. 

You idiot. 

You foolish and reckless fucking idiot. 

What the fuck was he doing? 

Had he lost his damn mind? 

Between this morning's incident in the chapel and whatever the fuck was happening to him now Secondo needed a minute to just… be. He needed to collect himself. 

He was thankful for the stew. The monotonous motion of simply lifting his spoon from the bowl to his mouth and back again gave him some cover. And he was thankful for it because he was spiraling. His mind was all over the place and if he’d even pretended to go back to his sermon he was sure you would have seen right through him. 

He’d touched you. 

Again. 

He had touched you. 

The same way he had last night and it hadn’t been some kind of power play or show of dominance this time. He’d touched you simply because he’d wanted to thank you but words hadn’t felt like enough. But why… why didn’t words feel like enough? You’d just brought him soup. You hadn’t brought him the moon. 

Last night he had meant to tease you. All he’d wanted was to get you worked up again but somehow he’d ended up touching you. He’d cupped your jaw and slid into your space before even realizing what he was doing. And you looked at him the same way you had just now. 

Your lips had parted, your breath had held, your eyes had softened, pupils growing and darkening, lashes fluttering, cheeks turning red, and you had looked… you had looked just for a moment… just for the smallest sliver of a second like you didn’t hate him. Like he wasn’t a monster. And you had…

No. 

Stop it. 

Focus. 

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Secondo cleared his mind and forced himself to concentrate. You weren’t supposed to be a distraction. You were here to learn from him and to serve Him. Whatever tricks his mind was playing on him he would squash. He would bury them inside just like he did so many other of his emotions. He had to remember what was important. What was at stake. 

The catacombs. 

The book. 

His voice. 

His guidance. 

His legacy. 

You were another test. He couldn’t forget that so Secondo ordered himself to focus. He finished his lunch quickly and tried his best to avoid looking at you as he returned to his work… but the ache in his chest persisted, a gnawing hunger that had nothing to do with the stew he had just eaten. 

You sighed as you stared down at a particularly confusing text and Secondo couldn’t take it anymore. He pushed back from his desk. His papers now forgotten and stood abruptly. His chair screeched against the stone floor, echoing loudly in the room. 

He needed air. He needed space. He needed to get away from the suffocating walls that seemed to close in on him every time you were around.

“Papa?” you called out softly. 

Secondo ignored you and stormed past your desk, throwing open the heavy wooden doors to the hall. 

“Hello, son.” 

“Fucking hell!” 

Secondo jumped back from the door. In his jumbled mess of a mind, he’d forgotten about the meeting with his father. He glanced over at the clock above your desk.

Shit. 

He’d forgotten about the meeting he was supposed to have thirty minutes ago. 

“It’s rude enough that you didn’t come to my office on time. Now you’re going to just stand there and block the door. Move boy!” 

Secondo stuttered for a moment before stepping aside, allowing Papa Nihil to enter. Sister Imperator trailed closely behind him, pushing his oxygen tank as it creaked across the floor. In the corner of the room, Secondo saw you jump up from your desk and close the door behind Imperator. He’d forgotten to tell you about this meeting too. 

Shit. 

He hadn’t planned for anyone to be here for this. Meetings with his father never usually went well, and he’d like to spare himself the shame but it was too late to send you away now. 

Nihil and Imperator shuffled past Secondo and sat in the two tufted armchairs by the fireplace. Secondo moved to follow them, standing in front of the fire, and resting his elbow on the mantle. The heat from the flames licked at his back as he looked down at the elder pair. 

Nihil had always been a rotten bastard and a poor excuse for a father. How he’d managed to hold onto so much power in the Clergy, always amazed Secondo. He’d assumed, as did many others, that he would have been cast out of the church many moons ago if it weren’t for Imperator. It was she, he would need to placate today. She was the real power player in the room. 

Through the corner of his eye, Secondo watched as you sat back down at your desk and opened a little black notebook, readying yourself to take notes. He wanted to tell you not to bother. He’d never read them anyway. 

“Your lack of punctuality is concerning, my son,” Papa Nihil rasped, his voice muffled through the mask he held against his face. “Let’s hope you haven’t forgotten what we’ve come to discuss.” 

“I haven’t forgotten. I’ve been working hard on it. Last night I finished a new song. It’s called-” Imperator raised a hand silencing Secondo. 

“The clergy has concerns Papa. Have you reconsidered their offer?” 

If anyone else in the Abbey besides Imperator had asked that question Secondo would have barked out a list of insults so vile Satan would have blushed. 

“I understand,” Secondo said, forcing his tone to remain composed. “But I think the album is headed in a much better direction than the last time we spoke. Last night I-” 

“I don’t understand why he even needs to write a new album. Why can’t he just sing my songs and a few of his brothers? Wasn’t that the whole point of sending him out on that little tour last month? To see if this stronzo’s could even sing?” As Nihil prattled on Secondo glanced over at you, hoping to catch your eye, but you were too busy scribbling away in your notebook to notice him.

Imperator sighed loudly and Secondo looked back at the elder pair sitting before him. 

“You know why we need a new album, Nihil,” she scolded. “We need more followers. And new music is the best way to do that. It’s also why we have concerns over your album, Secondo. How will we attract more people to join us if your album is full of morose and macabre dronings? The clergy simply thinks a little outside collaboration will help spice things up. Help lift the veil a bit. Do you understand?” 

Secondo clenched his jaw and tried to swallow the boiling rage that threatened to spill over. The nerve of them to suggest diluting his art with outsiders, people who weren’t even members of their congregation. His music was sacred, a vessel for the Dark One's message, not some commodity to be watered down for the masses. 

“Honestly son, no one wants to hear it. Sathanas your lyrics aren’t even in English! Per Ad Ass whatever. See, I can’t even remember the damn title. How do you expect anyone to-” 

“I liked it.” 

Secondo’s eyes snapped to yours. 

You’d set your notebook down and were staring back at him, a meek little smile spread across your face. You pushed away from the desk and crossed the room, stopping beside him. Secondo swore the flames behind him jumped when the fabric of your habit brushed against his robes. 

Imperator raised an eyebrow, looking between you and Secondo with mild interest. Papa Nihil rolled his eyes.

“Sister if you're trying to get in this stronzo’s pants you don’t have-”

“Nihil enough,” Imperator growled, before turning toward you. “Please. Go on sister. What did you like about the song?”

Your eyes drifted from Secondo’s to the floor. Whatever had emboldened you a moment ago was slipping away. Your voice was soft as you started to speak. 

“I thought it was beautiful. I… I couldn’t get it out of my head after I heard it. There’s something… I don’t know something ethereal about it.”

As you shook your head Secondo balled his fist by his side. He wanted to tell you that you didn't have to do this. You didn’t need to stick up for him. Nihil would always have something negative to say and for as long as he’d known Imperator she had never been his biggest supporter. But your eyes flickered from the floor to his and all his thoughts went out the window.

“No, maybe ethereal’s not the right word. It feels like… well it feels like that moment when we all gather together for Black Mass on All Hallows Eve. Everyone’s excited. A little nervous. Lust. Devotion. Passion. All those feelings we share builds that electricity in the air. You can feel it in your chest. That night it… it feels like the best of us. Like the best of our church, I mean. Everyone gathered together on the one night of the year we all looked forward to most. When the veil is thin and for most of us it’s the closest we’ll ever get to Him.” 

“Sister,” Nihil whined impatiently, taking a drag of his oxygen, and tapping his long fingernails against the armrest of the chair, “get to the point.” 

“I just mean. His song. Per Áspera Ad Inferí. It reminded me of why I’m a member of this church. It reminded me of why I’m here. Even if I didn’t understand the words I think it’s beautiful.” 

A TIDAL WAVE. 

A TORNADO.

AN AVALANCHE.

All three are natural disasters that consume. They claim every square inch of calm and bring complete chaos. Disrupting all that was. 

People can rebuild. They can lay out new foundations, frame new homes, and pave new roads. But life is never the same. It can’t go back. The world will never be the same once the snow tumbles down, the wave crashes in, and the winds wreak havoc. 

As Secondo looked at you he felt like one of those towns he’d seen on TV destroyed by such nature. His world would never be the same. Every thought that he had held was squeezed out. His world was disrupted. Interrupted. Changed. By you. 

Sathanas. 

He thought to himself. 

You’re beautiful. 

You’re so fucking goddamn beautiful. 

In was in that moment that Secondo realized you were the most stunning creature he had ever seen. He had denied it, pushed it down, and tried to bury his attraction to you and focus on other things like his papacy, the rituals, and the Dark Lord himself. But how could he ignore it now? How could he push it down and bury this feeling somewhere deep when you’d gone and said something like that? 

You went ahead and talked about the music… his music, like it meant something. Like it moved you. Like you had understood the very thing that moved him and motivated him to write it. He didn’t know when you’d heard it but that didn’t matter. You’d stormed into his mind now and there would be no rebuilding it to how it was before. He couldn’t ignore it. 

Maybe he should have seen it coming. Secondo was only a human. And so far humans haven’t figured out how to stop storms before they start so maybe he should have realized he wouldn’t be able to keep this feeling locked up forever. But he was here now, wrecking his brain. He saw you now. 

And you were so beautiful. 

His attraction had been there since day one, just simmering under the surface waiting for the right moment to boil over. But now it was happening at the most inopportune time and Secondo couldn’t put it off one more fucking second longer. 

He knew when this started. 

It had been the moment Imperator laid your photo out next to the others. He remembered it clearly. He was supposed to pick his first batch of Imperatrix’s. It was a high honor and an important duty as Papa but he hadn’t been able to pull his eyes off your picture. You were smiling, standing in the warm summer sun down by the lake. Your hair was undone, long, and flowing beautifully past your shoulders and you were wearing that sundress. The sweet little yellow thing with white flowers and a hemline landing just above your gorgeous thighs. 

You’d stolen all of his attention in that moment. So much so that he hadn’t even cared to look at photos of the others. He’d picked five more sisters at random. It’d been you he wanted. It’s been you he couldn’t wait to see in the dining room that first day. It’d been you he made sure was given the nicest suite. The one with the largest bath and the prettiest view of the summer gardens. He’d been disappointed when you’d told him you wouldn’t participate in the rituals but he’d tried to move on. The ritual was supposed to be only an offering after all. He’d been selfish to think of anything else. 

But Santhas how he wanted to kiss you right now. He could just wrap you up in his arms, yank off your veil, grab a fistful of your hair, and leave you breathless. He could have you panting, whining, begging for more. He could do it right here in front of his father and Sister Imperator. Or better yet he could kick them out, pick you up, and push you down against his desk and show how good he could make you feel with just his hands and mouth before he even used his cock. 

Fuck he could just-

“Why are we listening to this girl when she can’t even speak Latin?!” Nihil's ancient voice sliced through Secondo’s thoughts. “She doesn’t know what would make a good performer. Sister,” Nihil turned to face Imperator in his chair, “he is not ready.” 

“I may not speak Latin,” you snapped, taking a step toward Nihil and lowering your voice until it became an angry growl, “but I know that Papa commands every room he walks into. So why should a stage be so different? Why wouldn’t he be ready?” 

You took another step toward Nihil, positioning yourself in between the old man and your Papa but Secondo couldn’t let you throw yourself to the wolves. He reached for you, grabbing your wrist and gently pulling you back to his side. He could feel your pulse throb with fury as his gloved fingers held you back. 

He wanted to pull you even closer and hold you against his chest but Secondo stopped himself. He was thankful for your defense but couldn't let you provoke Nihil any further, not when the consequences for you both could be dire. He needed you near. He needed you close. He wouldn’t let Nihil send you away for your insolence. 

Not now. 

Not now that you had finally consumed him. 

Imperator leaned back in her chair and observed, watching the exchange between you, Secondo, and Papa Nihil. She rested a finger on her chin, deep in thought. 

“Papa Nihil, your concerns have been duly noted. But, I believe the sister's perspective holds merit. Secondo you may continue with the album as planned for now. We will meet again in one month to discuss your progress.”  

Nihil grumbled under his breath but eventually nodded in reluctant agreement. “Fine,” he said. “But he needs to prove himself. We can't afford any more fuckups. Capisci?”

“Sì,” Secondo answered, biting down on his cheek until the taste of copper filled his mouth, “Capisco, padre.” 

A week had passed since your promotion to Secondo’s assistant. 

The job wasn’t easy, but you’d learned his routines quickly enough. A cappuccino in the morning. Reading glasses cleaned and on the left side of his desk before his arrival. A fire hot and roaring before he entered and freshly-cut firewood kept stacked in the rack by the door. 

The work itself was usually the same. Every morning Secondo started with the pile of papers on his desk. Signing, editing, and transcribing. As Papa, it was his duty to understand all the traditions and rituals of the church while guiding his flock toward or against the known and unknown dogmas. 

All important clerical duties were done by lunch. In the afternoon, Secondo dedicated himself to his music. He wrote, sang, and played his guitar, a beautiful acoustic thing with a solid Sitka spruce top and touches of emerald green around its body. Most days Secondo didn’t leave his office when he worked on his album, preferring to play by the fire. But sometimes he did wander down to the music room, where the walls are padded and he could mix tracks when he felt so inclined. On those days his most trusted ghouls usually joined him. Alpha. Omega. Aero. Crust. 

The nighttime was reserved for sermons. Secondo wrote and practiced them over and over again until his message was clear and memorized completely. You never realized how much detail was packed into each line he delivered at mass until that week. Every word served a purpose, every phrase held a deeper meaning. 

Through it all you helped Secondo the best that you could. You learned that he was meticulous about his robes and paints, both of which he wore every single day, so you started keeping lint rollers in his office and a pot of his special facial paints in your pocket at all times. You learned inspiration could strike him at any moment so you also carried a little black notebook and a pen in case he ever needed to jot something down. 

Alpha was around most days and you were so thankful for that. You enjoyed your time together when he did play bodyguard, posting up inside Secondo’s office like a sentinel. He occasionally would slip you little cartoons he’d draw of you or Papa. He was a talented artist and you wondered if all ghouls were born with such creativity. You wanted to ask him but for some odd reason, Secondo kept giving him time off saying things like “go enjoy yourself” or “make sure to rest.” It was strange, seeing Secondo pretend to care about someone else. 

Most days you didn’t speak to Secondo and the two of you worked side by side in total silence. Although on more than one occasion you did catch him staring at you, you tried your best to stay out of his way and anticipate anything he needed.  

Neither of you had taken a single meal in the dining hall in the past week either. There was too much to do and too few hours in the day to do it all. It’d become clear that Secondo’s last assistant was less than organized and the backlog of work she’d inadvertently created felt neverending most days. 

Every night when you dragged yourself back to your suite you felt the same. You were tired. You were body-aching, head pounding, feet burning, doggone tired. You’d never worked so hard in your entire existence and your social life, as modest as it was before, practically vanished overnight. Your world became absolutely consumed by Secondo’s. 

It’s been a week since you’d been able to see your friends in the ghoul dens. You never made it down for Aether’s cooking or Mountain’s tea the day he had invited you. You’d apologized for missing out when you bumped into Mount days later. He’d been kind and understanding, offering you a hug that you needed more than you realized. And since then he’d taken it upon himself to leave little snacks and energy drinks in your suite every night. 

“You need the energy, little flower,” he had said when he’d delivered you the first round of goodies.

The other ghouls helped out too. Aurora and Cumulus surprised you with little pink Post-it notes on your bathroom mirror full of encouraging messages and adorable drawings. Aether also brought you your favorite wine. And Dew brought you his favorite weed. Swiss, the chaotic little sweetheart that he was, lent you two piles of his favorite records. 

“Music to put you to sleep and music to get you going in the morning,” he had said when dropping them off at your door. 

At some point, you’d eventually figure out a way to thank everyone. You just needed a minute away from Secondo before that could ever happen. But today wasn’t going to be that day. 

It was Saturday evening and while most of the Abbey was preparing for a night of sin and revelry you were with Secondo, holed up in his office and staring down a stack of receipts that needed approving. Alpha had left several hours earlier and the sun was setting outside, casting a warm orange glow through the open window behind Secondo’s desk and a cool breeze swept through the room. 

Secondo had set aside his latest sermon and was plucking away at his guitar. You stole glances at him every now and then, watching the way his ungloved slender fingers danced over the strings with effortless grace. 

The song was different from the rest he’d been working on. This one was slower. Softer. If anyone else had been playing it you might even dare say it was sweeter. 

“Ghuleh… Ghuleh…” 

Secondo sang, his voice rising over the crackling fire and gliding over you like the breeze from the open window.

“Ghuleh… Ghuleh…” 

You set your pen down and watched him. For all the vial names you wanted to spew at Secondo, you couldn’t deny him two things. The first was that the man had the voice of a fallen angel. You could easily imagine falling down again into the black void and meeting one of His princes. Maybe Belial or Beelzebub. You could imagine how they would probably sound the same if they sang. Confident, verging on arrogant but soft enough to corrupt any innocence they crossed. 

And the second thing you couldn’t deny Secondo was just how much you liked his voice. You could listen to him sign anything. The Macarena. Happy Birthday. God damn Barbie Girl. Honestly, it didn’t matter what Secondo was singing you’d listen to it all just to hear the way his voice could flit between light and delicate to those guttural deep growls that made your cheeks warm and red. 

You subtly reached up to your cheek and tried to hide the shame that they were indeed flushing red again. 

But luckily Secondo wasn’t looking at you. His gaze was elsewhere. His mismatched eyes were busy staring into the fireplace’s flames as he sang. 

“Putrefaction. A scent that cursed be. Under coat of dust. From the darkness. Rise a succubus.” 

On the last word, Secondo stopped, turned his head, and stared at you. If your cheeks had been tinged pink before they were bright red now. 

You had to say something. 

“That was beautiful.” 

Secondo’s gaze lingered on you for a heartbeat before he looked away. His fingers stilled on the guitar strings. Then Secondo did two things you never thought possible. He thanked you and he smiled. 

The deep-set corners of his eyes that were so often set in a frown shifted upwards. And his lips followed course. Moving big and wide. You were surprised at how nice it looked on him. How handsome his chiseled face was when he twisted it this way. Not that you ever thought you’d see it, but when you had imagined Secondo’s smile you’d thought it would be awkward, forced, and uncomfortable. But nothing about the way he looked at you now made you feel any of those ways. 

You don’t know why. But his thanks his smile…it felt like a truce.

Even if he didn’t know why you hated him and even if you didn’t know why he hated you something about the moment felt like a ceasefire. A break in the lingering feud between you both. You still hated him for what he’d said to you. And probably still despised you for your disobedience but right now… right now you could just co-exist. Right now that hatred didn’t feel important. Something else mattered. You weren’t sure if you could name it. But you felt it, fluttering in your chest and flickering on the tip of your tongue.  

Maybe the moment was getting to Secondo too, because he set his guitar aside and stood up, walking over to the window to watch the sun sink lower in the sky before rubbing his temples. 

You’d learned over the week that despite the front Secondo tried to put on he was indeed human. And he was a human being who suffered from pounding headaches just like you. 

“Headache, Papa?” 

“Nothing that won’t go away on its own, sorella,” he said despite mixing the white and black paint at his temples into a grey mess, as he moved his fingers in tiny circles. 

“Maybe you should take a break. Is there something you do to relax?” 

Secondo turned from the window and blinked at you. He looked surprised.

“I don’t have time for that.” 

You pushed away from your chair and reached into the pocket of your habit, pulling out a cotton handkerchief before handing it to Secondo and pointing to the grey smudges on his fingertips. 

“Well how about you take your guitar and I’ll take some of these,” you pointed back toward the stack of receipts on your desk, “and we’ll just go somewhere that’s more relaxing.” 

“Somewhere more… relaxing?” He repeated, eyeing you curiously.

“Yeah, maybe a change of scenery could help clear your mind.”

The idea seemed to intrigue Secondo. His gaze flickered between you and the window where the last rays of orange sunlight were fading fast. After a moment, he let out a sigh and nodded. 

“Lead the way, sorella.”

Secondo had lived in the Abbey his entire life and while he knew plenty of secrets about the old place he had never been here before. 

You had led Secondo through the Abbey into an abandoned classroom on the top floor of the eastern wing and climbed out its window. Then you’d scampered up onto the roof, where a black and red plaid blanket had already been waiting. A tin bucket sat next to one of the brick chimneys and Secondo peaked inside, noticing half a dozen smoked-down joints. 

You sat down on the blanket, deftly crossing your legs at your ankles, and waved at Secondo to join you. Secondo couldn’t help but think what a pair you two must make. What would people think if they saw you? A young Imperatrix, dressed in her most conservative black habit, not an inch of skin showing, and him…Papa Secondo, clad in all the finest regalia of his station donning black robes, mitre, and all. Even though the sun was almost fully set Secondo doubted that any sibling wandering the grounds below would be able to see either of you. But still, he felt subconscious about his dress. He normally didn’t mind people staring. But up here with you, he’d rather not draw stares. So he pulled off his mitre and gently set it on the roof before joining you on the blanket with his guitar. 

While the plaid blanket was decently sized, Secondo was forced to sit relatively close to you. Just a handful of inches separated the two of you. So he kept his eyes fixed on the horizon in an attempt to distract himself from the proximity and began plucking away at the strings of his guitar. Normally, keeping his hands busy was enough to distract himself. 

But tonight it wasn’t cutting it. Secondo couldn’t focus. 

Being here with you was so much different than his office or the music room. This felt too intimate. Two people, lying under the stars, with music in the air, this felt more like a date than the tail end of a long working day. And while Secondo was ready to admit that you were beautiful he wasn’t ever going to be the kind of man that took sisters like you on dates. He was missing that thing in him that sought out companionship, or the type of love that made people weak and vulnerable. Secondo was determined never to let himself be so at the mercy of another person. 

“I’ve never brought another human up here before?” Your voice cut through his idle strumming.

“Human?” 

“Yeah,” you said fidgeting with your habit. “I’ve only ever brought the ghouls up here.” 

Secondo raised an eyebrow. Most siblings were terrified of ghouls. But you were apparently comfortable enough to lay with them under the stars. Who were you? 

“The ghouls… they are your friends?” 

“They’re my only friends.” 

For two people who have spent every waking minute together over the past 7 days, Secondo realized then he knew absolutely nothing about you. He shifted on the blanket, moving his long under his thighs. Then he turned his broad shoulders in your direction so he could look at you fully. He hoped you look back at him. 

But you avoided his eye contact and stared up into the sky. 

The moonlight glistened on your face, casting shadows in the hollows of your cheeks and Secondo was struck by how ethereal you looked, like a beautiful unholy being bathed in silver light. 

“You are beautiful, sorella.” 

The words were out of Secondo’s mouth before he realized it. They’d simply escaped, like taking a breath, without any consciousness. 

But Secondo didn’t want to take them back. They were the truth and he couldn’t rewind time. All he could do was wait for you to say something… anything. The minutes stretched like hours. But you weren’t going to answer. You had frozen in place and the only thing that emerged from your lips were shaky and nervous breaths that puffed out into the cold night like little clouds. 

Then Secondo did something stupid. He spoke again. 

“You don’t like me do you?” 

This time your eyes snapped quickly to Secondo’s and nothing could have prepared him for how much angry fire was burning behind them. 

“Fuck you.” 

“W-what?”

“I said fuck you, Papa,” you spat out Secondo’s title with ugly disdain and dug a pointed finger hard into his chest. “You’re the most selfish person I’ve ever met in my life. I bet you don’t even remember what you said to me do you?” 

Secondo tried to rack his brain. He tried to think of any interaction. Any possible bump in the halls, or faux pau in the dining halls. He’d only known you for a week. He’d never spoken to you before seven days ago. What the hell could he have done in that time to make you hate him so? 

As Secondo looked at you, it was obvious he didn’t remember. There was no flicker of recognition. No flashback running through his mind. 

And somehow that felt so much worse. How could he not remember when you’d never forget? 

“Sorella,” Secondo pled, “Tell me please. What did I do to you?”

Go back: (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

(Read on AO3)

[sosa2imagines]

I had my dance and now I'm where I belong.

Warning- Angst, cheating and hopeful fluff. ----------------------------------------------------- Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Completed -----------------------------------------------------

When they say love is blind it truly is blind cause all the red flags turn color blind. You had noticed changes in his behavior and you also noticed the little things he’d stop doing. Even when Bucky was in Wakanda you remained by his side like glue. Slowly he started to regain his memories and the old Bucky was back not completely though. So when he started to flirt with other girls or when someone random made a pass at him he never denied them you foolish thought he is acting his old 40s self just like Steve had told you once the evergreen womanizer so you ignored it till it was getting out of hand so one day you confronted him but he just said you are overreacting and it's cute to see you getting jealous and the confrontation would end up with a kiss followed by sex every single time when he did it again.

Thanos took a toll on all of you but thankfully everyone were back safe and sound. Tony took semi retirement and Clint too, Nat handle the tower Wanda was in and out cause Vision was in Wakanda and Steve you best friend and once upon a time crush was getting ready to return the stones. "Hey" you coo, "Hey" he beams at you "Ready?" Looking at the compass he looked at you with a sad smile "Yes as ever I will be" "Enjoy your dance Steve and know where you belong ok?" the true meaning behind your words were that you were begging him to have his dance with Peggy and to return back to you guys but that didn't happen as soon as Steve told Bucky not to do anything stupid and when he complained Steve is taking all the stupid with himself you knew he won't come back and just like that he was gone. You cried all night long and Bucky held on to you tight he was equally sad and cried along with you.

It had been fifteen days since Steve left and new recruits had joined Nat and you were training them Bucky helped in between but that didn't stop him from flirting with the girls Nat found it weird and you tried to cover it by saying he is missing Steve and everything is tough for him at the moment but Nat was not having none of it and banned Bucky from training the recruits. Soon he and Sam left on a mission in London and here begins the downfall of your relationship. "Sharon?" Bucky was shocked to see her "What are you doing here?" "Undercover Barnes shield sent me to help you guys" So just like that she was helping them and when they both got separated from Sam and their cover almost blew up Sharon thought it is a great idea to kiss Bucky and he kissed her back and one thing led to another for the time they were in London they had sex daily. When Sam found out he was furious but Bucky told him he would come clean to you but not in the way Sam had thought.

Once they were back Sharon accompanied them she told you all she was helping them in the mission. The day Bucky arrived he went straight to his old room instead of your shared one you decided to let him be it was not new for him to stay alone after a mission but for days Bucky avoided you your heart was paining the glob in your throat wanted to explode Nat was worried about you and Sharon was still living in the tower and now Bucky would only train with her and it killed you when he would talk with everyone except you day by day you were getting killed by the love of your life you would cry to sleep every night, Bucky would sleep far on his side of the bed he would only enter the room late in the night. You started to miss Steve terribly if he was here he would have helped you even kicked Bucky's ass. Weird sexual noises would come from Sharon's room but it was none of your concern except it was. Sam had enough he gave Bucky last warning to come clean and Bucky was ready as if he was tired hiding his 'relationship' with Sharon. It was like almost on purpose both of them decided to show you what was happening behind your back Bucky and Sharon were making out in your shared room you were standing there numb tears flowing freely you gave them few more minutes before opening your mouth "are you done?" Bucky sighed and got up he told Sharon to wait in her room on her way she smirked at you like she won some competition. "I’m sorry Y/n it's over I'm in love with Sharon, I have packed your bags please go back to your old room." You scoffed at him "Just her Buck? So what about those, who you flirt with?" Bucky was quiet he knew he deserve your venom. "I have loved you so deeply but James I can’t forgive you, maybe one day in the future, I have been stood by your side through every single thing that has happened to you and yet you betray me." "Can you give an hour please", he nodded and left the room. You open the packed bags just like you had thought he had packed the things he gifted you, you picked out every single of them and kept them on the bed. Once you were done it was time to face the music the time you were busy re packing since Sam and Wanda were out Bucky told Nat you two broke up hiding the real reason. So when Nat came and asked you what happened you went along with Bucky's lie but karma was in your favor Wanda and Sam had just arrived Sam called Bucky a liar Nat was confused that gave Wanda time to read your mind you begged them not to tell Tony the whole truth you were like sister to him and it took a lot of hard work and trust for Tony to forgive Bucky and you did not wanted to ruin what Steve had worked upon. "Where are you going Y/n?" Nat asks, Wanda was crying feeling your suffocating pain, Sam was saying sorry over and over for not telling you sooner but you forgave him, it's not his fault Bucky couldn't keep it in his pants. "I need some alone time Nat please I can't breathe here give me some time" "You call us everyday ok no call we will bring you back!" Wanda warned understanding your need to go away, you nodded hugging Wanda and Nat, Sam was furious "He should go not you" "No Sam please be nice to him for Steve" and with last look you left. Once the team knew about what had actually happened they gave Bucky hell for what he did to you. Bucky however was feeling very guilty for how things did go down he did love you at one point but that didn't stopped him and Sharon making things official just after a week you left. Things were awkward for him with the team.

Meanwhile in the past Steve did have his dance but he was not happy Peggy had moved on but that was not what was bothering him he was worried about you, he open his compass that had your photo truth is Peggy was his first love but you made home in his heart Peggy was only a memory he only loved you wanted a family with you but when he saw Bucky falling for you he took a step back the ever thinking about other's happiness he let Bucky take you away. Steve decided it was time to head back to his love but most importantly his best friend you.

----------------------------------------------------- Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Completed

[waggledoogledoggle]

⚠️Spoilers for Hazbin ep 4⚠️

⚠️Also, this post will talk about Abuse and SA, it is briefly mentioned a few times throughout the rest of this… whole long thingy I wrote⚠️

⚠️Also, brief mention of the scene where someone tried to drug Angel⚠️

Ok, I am just genuinely baffled at the people who somehow find a way to hate on 'Loser, Baby'.

Like, if you don't like Huskerdust that's fine... but 'Loser, Baby' is not overshadowing/brushing off Angel's SA. It's not victim blaming. And it's not Husk telling Angel to just shut up and get over it.

Like I've seen it so much, and you know what? Fuck it. Welcome to my TedTalk on why it's not all of those things.

For starters: Husk doesn't know about Angel's SA

When Angel has his vulnerable outburst (Side note, props to Blake I mean, they said 'take 5' he heard 'change lives') he talks about how he feels like he has to act the way he does to keep Valentino happy because he stupidly sold his soul to him. That he wants to get drugged up because that’s his escape. That he wants to be broken because maybe, just maybe Val will let him go. He wants to be free, but he can't and he has no one to blame but himself.

"What's the worst part of this hell, I can only blame myself" is literally the pre chorus to his song (Poison), and that is what he shares with Husk.

Not once does he bring up his abuse or SA. If he did, do you think a song would have even happened? Look how Husk reacted when someone tried to drug Angel's drink! Now that Husk actually genuinely cares about him? Dead. Dead. Valentino would be dead.

Us knowing about Angels situation in full is dramatic irony which is, essentially, we as the audience know more/are given more insight than the other characters. We were given the insight of Angel's true trauma that he deals with on the daily. Husk and the rest of the Hotel were not and have no idea what he deals with, the only one that even has an inkling is Charlie and even then we still know WAY more about Angel’s situation than her, so you can't really get upset at Husk for not knowing something he would have no way of knowing unless Angel shared it with him directly.

Moving onto the song itself, it's a song of empathy.

Allow me to explain.

Husk pinpoints perfectly what Angel is feeling in this moment:

"So things look bad, and your back's against the wall Your whole existence seems fuckin' hopeless You're feelin' filthy as a dive bar bathroom stall Can't face the world sober and dopeless You've lost your way, you think your life is wrecked"

When Husk starts singing, you can tell that Angel is expecting Husk to pull the whole "But that's not true! It's not hopeless! You're life's not wrecked!" and is very surprised when Husk doesn't.

Instead, Husks says "Yeah. You're right." And this is when a lot of the haters get angry- but hold on a second.

When someone is feeling all of those things, saying things like "That's not true! You'll be ok!" aren't helpful at all. That's brushing it off. Even if it may be true, that doesn't help anyone when they're feeling like hopeless, lost, losers.

Because that's sympathy, not empathy. Sympathy is feeling for someone, and trying to make them feel better. Empathy, is not trying to make them feel any certain way- better or worse- empathy is simply feeling with someone. And that's what Husk does.

During the first chorus, Husk is clearly teasing Angel a bit while doing so, but not without good reason. It's keeping Angel from closing back up again, he's being a little bit silly with him and teasing him. I mean, did you see the silly lil walk he did crossing in front of Angel? And Angel is super confused because he's like "how tf is this supposed to make me feel better??"

That's the thing. It's not. That's sympathy's job, not empathy's. Empathy just want's you to feel felt with, it doesn't want to tell you how to feel. And adding that bit of silliness gives Angel's vulnerability a chance to breathe and it prevents Angel from closing in on himself.

The next verse, pre-chorus, and chorus is when the empathy though really kicks in.

The next verse, is the first part of empathy: Sharing about a similar experience you went through.

In this verse, now that Angel is listening not just hearing, Husk shares that he has been gruesomely damaged. Calling back to what he shared literally seconds before the song. That he knows what it's like to sign away your soul, and constantly look back at it with huge amounts of regret. That knowing that moment is what turned him into the mess he is today, and that he has no one to blame but himself. Just like Angel.

Then in the pre-chorus where there's the whole:

"I sold my soul to a psychopathic freak Haha! And you think that makes you unique? Get outta here, man!"

That isn't Husk telling Angel to get over himself and this isn’t him undermining what Angel’s been through. That's him saying 'I did too, you're not alone’

And then the very simple word change from "you're" to "we're" in the chorus is SO FREAKING HUGE. Because Husk is essentially saying "You feel like a total loser right now. Ok. Then if what happened to you/what you went through makes you a loser, then I'm a loser too. Let's be loser's together." Instead of trying to make Angel stop feeling like he's a hopeless loser, he decides that he is too.

He meets Angel where he is.

Aka: ✨empathy✨

Angel finally feels seen, understood, felt with. All the goals of empathy. He no longer feels alone in what he is struggling with, which is HUGE! Especially for people going through/dealing with SA and abuse.

The bridge of the song, is also extremely important, because this is where they acknowledge the differences in what they're going through. Their root problem is the same, but how it messed up their lives and created the problems they deal with now are completely different

And that's around when the song begins to shift from just Husk showing empathy and comforting Angel, to them both finding comfort in each other.

Which you can clearly see by the chorus under the umbrella, where it's not just one of them singing the chorus, but it's both of them. Because they have found a place to go to and confide in, a place of comfort, with each other.

Like, I am genuinely concerned that people find this song toxic like... have- have you never experienced empathy before? Are you ok?

So yeah, to wrap this up, if you don’t like ‘Loser, Baby’ just because you don’t like the song in general? That’s fine (odd, but fine)

But if you hate it because it “undermines Angel’s experience and what he goes through” I…

words.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

[abbyfmc]

Under the water

Submechanophobia: Irrational fear of man-made things submerged in water, whether boats, canoes, cruise ships, submarines, animatronics, or other mostly metal objects.

That being said, I can imagine a yandere boy (boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, or whatever) next to you, in situations related to this interesting phobia.

TW: Well, submechanophobia, harassment, probable psychological damage and yandere behavior.

[Y🔧A🔧N🔧D🔧E🔧R🔧E A🔧N🔧D🔧R🔧O🔧I🔧D]

🔧1- It could have been like I said, an android, a robot or a mechanical attraction that:

1.1- It could have been aquatic: That is, it operated or continues to operate in water attractions, whether partially or completely submerged in water.

1.2- It was abandoned: It no longer operates because it had many continuous failures, malfunctioned or simply stopped being profitable and therefore, it ended up abandoned in a very humid place or under water.

1.3- Flood: The place where it operated was flooded in catastrophic and irreparable ways.

2. I'd like to think that you would be a worker, or the engineer who was in charge of maintaining it personally (and therefore, you spent a lot of time with it). You did constant maintenance as a daily job, and on a few occasions "emergency maintenance"; repairing possible faults on him.

3. Everything was going well until your attraction was "temporarily" closed for whatever reason, the android or yandere robot found out, he had faith in seeing you again.

4. --Well, maybe she's busy today.-- He said when a day went by without seeing you after his attraction closed.

5. --Well, maybe she's on vacation. I'm looking forward to seeing her so she can tell me everything during my maintenance.-- I would say after a few days or weeks. He still has hope of seeing you again, specifically you.

6. --My water is getting dirty and I haven't seen her for a long time. I don't like this at all; has something happened to her? -- It must have been many months or a year and by now the standing water is mouldy and very dirty; she hasn't seen you or any other worker for a year or two, so she can't ask anyone about you either.

7. He slowly realized that he was abandoned by his creator company, but he refused to believe that he was abandoned by you. He was hoping that you would come back, talk to him, and maintain him again. But the years passed and he only began to rust and rot more and more.

8. Fortunately for him, the company that owns the theme park called you and others to inspect the facilities in detail to determine the future of each area.

9. You decided to visit your old work area, not knowing that he is still there, alive and waiting for you.

10. Everything was bad. The paint was peeling, rusty and damp; some parts had fallen off; there was a lot of noise everywhere; it was damp due to the place being there; not to mention the terrible smell of mouldy, stagnant water that hasn't been changed for years. You and your team walked around the site, not imagining that you weren't alone, as your old friend noticed your presence and worse yet… he had seen you.

11. I was happy to see you, but I HATED seeing your teammates with you. I thought they were the ones responsible for taking you away from him, and there was no way I was going to let you go this time.

12. He would kill your team one by one, coming out of the water to drag them and drown them in the dirty water.

13. No, he won't accept you leaving him and abandoning him once again. He will play hide and seek with you and come out of the water to look for you. Once he finds you, you would see how the water and the passing of time affected him; he will come to you, pick you up and take you with him to be together once again, like in the past.

14. He would sense your terror at seeing him not only submerged, but at the fact that he has somehow come to life, remembers you, and is willing to drown you if it means you'll stay together until the end of your days.

-The End.

So, what do you think about it?

I've never seen any stories about yandere boys (especially androids or robots) related to this phobia, so I decided to take the risk and see how it goes. I'm not lying, I like the concept of a yandere android or robot that has been abandoned and when you return to the place, he's already waiting for you.

[chevroletdean]

forgotten birthday ── ✮⋆˙

Summary: Alec is new to the concept of birthdays, considering he doesn’t even really have one himself. When his s/o is sulky all day, he’s confused, until their friends throw them a surprise party and he realizes he’s messed up big time.

ship: alec mcdowell x gn!reader genre: fluff to note/warnings: little bit of angst, vague descriptions of the reader (they're wearing a minidress and have long-ish hair), partying with alcohol, reader gets tipsy, use of y/n word count: 3.2k a/n: my first time writing for alec and my first entry for the @jacklesversebingo challenge, let’s go! really excited about the prompts i got prompt: Forgotten Birthday credit & links: header edited by myself, but i used sensitivehandsomeactionman’s gifs ──〃★ dividers ──〃★ jacklesversebingo 2024 masterlist

wanna listen to the spotify playlist while you read?

Routine had always been something Alec was comfortable with.

If anything had been drilled into him at Manticore, it was routine. Getting up at the same time every day, following a strict morning schedule – from what to have for breakfast to his early workout session.

Granted, with the escape from that prison came a breath of fresh air. And with the newfound freedom came the struggle to adapt.

Alec was a quick learner, always had to be, and he knew how to blend in as well as how to stick out. However, there were still things he had to learn. Or rather, unlearn.

His first meal of the day still consisted of the same porridge bowl, although recently he sprinkled some candy in there from time to time. His timer was still set to 4:30 AM each morning, although he allowed himself the luxury of hitting the snooze button more and more lately.

With no exception of today.

A day like any other: Getting up early, refilling his stomach, wrapping up those push-ups, taking a shower, getting changed, brushing his teeth, and texting you. His favorite part of the morning routine.

Alec [5:31 AM]: Morning sunshine, slept well?

He knew your timer was always set to 5:30, something you’d complain about on the regular.

“I swear, Normal is working us to the bone for no damn reason. He acts like the packages will disappear into thin fucking air if we clock in a minute too late,” you’d always say with a yawn the moment you’d set foot in Jam Pony.

At this point, your grumbled speeches have become part and parcel of his daily routine.

Even through this, you are his favorite addition to that new and free life of his. You’re an aspect he’ll gladly include in any of his activities.

Alec laid his eyes on you the moment you became coworkers. And what can he say, his irresistible charm made it impossible for you to not match that interest (though you’d probably fondly roll your eyes and disagree with that wording).

About three months ago, he asked you out on a date. That is, he had tried numerous times before – from the very first day you were introduced to one another, in fact. But he didn’t let up until that day three months ago, when you finally said yes.

One of the best nights of his life.

The other ones on top of that list were those that followed it.

The second date, your first kiss on the small dance floor of Crash. The third date, you falling asleep on the couch with him during a movie marathon. Fourth date, your coy question if he wanted to be your boyfriend and his fit of laughter when he told you he thought you were a couple ever since you pulled him to the dance floor.

You’ve only been dating for a couple of months, but he already couldn’t imagine a life without you.

Y/N [5:33 AM]: Morning! 🤍 Very, can’t wait to see you at work xx

Alec [5:33 AM]: Very, huh? Your pretty head came up with sweet dreams again?

Your response, an eye rolling gif, had the corners of his lips twitch upwards around his toothbrush. He was surprised to see you reply so fast in the first place. Usually you’d sleep in until you’d be running late for work.

You definitely weren’t a morning person, so your chipper mood was a pleasant surprise to say the least.

Alec [5:36 AM]: Could’ve just said you missed me, babe 😏 omw to work, better not be late to pick up your good morning kiss.

As his luck would have it, that one would just have to wait.

Straight upon arrival at Jam Pony, Normal forced a bunch of ready-for-delivery mail onto him. He barely managed to shove his bag into his locker, before he had to take off again. That’s what he got for being the first to show up at work.

Delivery took ages, too. The ungodly amount of letters and parcels of various sizes were manifested in the form of a tall tower, which threatened to topple over with each turn he took on his bicycle. It seemed to be a busy day, too, traffic blocking his way multiple times.

By the time he finally made it back to Jam Pony, his eyes immediately caught sight of you.

Your conversation with Max and Original Cindy was interrupted by your soft yelp, triggered by the sudden sensation of firm arms circling around your waist from behind. Alec gently poked your sides, fully aware of how ticklish you were and reveling in riling you up.

How could he not with how adorable your pout was?

“Sorry, babe,” he chuckled and pressed an apologetic kiss to your cheek. “Couldn’t resist.”

You gently pried his hands away from your ribs and guided his arms into a proper embrace around your frame instead. Said hands found home around your middle, as if you’d done this for decades.

“Not you jumpscaring me and being late to pick up your good morning smooch,” you huffed theatrically, the roll of your eyes overly dramatic and belied by that cheeky grin of yours.

His feigning of having taken offense was no better – though he pretended to pout, there was an undeniable spark in his eyes. “Can I place an order for a pre-lunch smooch instead?”

You giggled softly and turned your head back, angling your chin upwards to lock lips with him. Even when you pulled back again, you added an extra peck to the tip of his nose afterwards. The little display of affection earned you gagging noises from Max and Original Cindy, the latter of which crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“I’m gonna need an extra shot tonight just to wipe that image from my memory,” she teased.

“Good thing the drinks at Crash are cheap,” Max chimed in, grinning at you. “You guys are coming, right?”

Usually Alec didn’t mind unwinding with his friends after work, but something about his coworkers’ tone felt off. Plus, he could think of different ways to unwind with you, specifically. He’s been meaning to invite you over anyway.

“Actually, we were–” Alec started, only to be cut off by Cindy.

She jabbed a sharp finger in his direction. “Don’t finish that sentence,” she warned, “I don’t need details about the after-party, loverboy.”

The light sound of your bemused chuckle smoothed over the bickering. You placed a soothing hand on Alec’s arm, giving him a shrug of nonchalance.

“I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to celebrate after,” you whispered for only him to hear, leaving him to deadpan.

After-parties and celebrations?

The jargon definitely stirred something within him that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

Not that he got the chance to ponder over the matter further – a special occasion, national holiday, some kind of anniversary? Surely not, given that he had memorized every single event between you two down to the timestamp. Not to mention that it wouldn’t make sense for the others to celebrate with them then. 

Before his gears could continue turning, a firm hand patted a friendly slap onto Alec’s shoulder.

“After-Work-Crash-Party?” Sketchy’s voice rang through the group, loud and confident as always. “Count me self-invited.”

The next voice that joined their chatter was less enthusiastic.

“The only thing you should be counting is the During-Work-Workload,” their boss huffed and puffed sternly. Normal cleared his throat in obnoxious fashion, tapping his wrist watch and effectively disbanding the group for now.

However, as the day went on, your beam decreased more and more. That smile of yours didn’t falter, at least not at first, but it didn’t reach your eyes anymore. Whenever someone would say your name, your eyes lit up expectantly, only for your expression to sink seconds later.

“Hey, Y/N?”

Your ears perked up at your coworker’s voice, your chin was raised high and the imaginary puppy tail was wagging excitedly.

“Sign this for me, will ya?”

Everything about you deflated, shoulders sinking, bottom lip jutting out into the ghost of a pout.

“Y/N?”

Same anticipatory eyes as before, wide with curiosity as you blinked at Sketchy.

“Have you seen Max?”

You didn’t even bother to listen to the rest of his inquiry and shook your head instead.

Alec observed this for a while, watching as people came up to you to seemingly chip away at your good mood. They weren’t any different from usual, so why were you?

By the time Alec went for a shot, you barely even reacted anymore.

“What’s up, sunshine?,” he hummed, playfully nudging his shoulder against yours, but you didn’t even lift your gaze to look at him. He only managed to pull an apathetic hum from you that could easily be mistaken for a groan.

“Wanna ditch this place?,” Alec whispered, lowly enough so as not to gain any unwanted attention from Normal. His suggestion at least had you blink at him, though his green eyes failed to find any enthusiasm in yours.

“Can’t,” you sighed. “Normal dumped an extra load of packages on me… Today of all days.” That last sentence was muttered under your breath so quietly that Alec would’ve nearly missed it, were it not for his enhanced hearing. You gestured leisurely towards your bike, a tower of cardboard boxes stacked onto its back.

“Tell you what,” Alec hummed, swiftly unloading the boxes from your bike and carrying them to his own. “I’ll take care of those for ya and you’ll get a headstart at ditching this place.”

He wasn’t taking no for an answer, you knew that beforehand, but it didn’t stop you from trying.

“It’s fine, Alec, don’t really have anywhere to be anyway.”

At that, Alec raised an eyebrow. He added the last box onto the pile, then used one hand to cup your chin and the other to interlock his fingers with yours. With his knuckles tucked neatly under your jaw, he tilted your face upwards until your eyes met.

Definitely no spark in them anymore, but what did you have a smug, cheeky boyfriend for if not for a little cheering up? You both knew he always managed to pull a smile from your lips, even if you wouldn’t admit it so as not to stroke his already inflated ego.

“I could think of a couple places I’d like to take you,” he teased with a smirk. “But how about we start with you getting ready for that After-Work-Crash-Party and I’ll see you there, hm?”

There it was again. That subtle twitch of your eyebrow, so small he could’ve easily missed it. You sighed and nodded reluctantly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Fine,” you gave in. “Are you sure it’s okay? I can help with–”

“I’m sure,” he interrupted you and then dismissed you with a chaste kiss. He mounted his bike, the crisp ding-ding of his bicycle bell the last thing he gave you before taking off.

It wouldn’t be until hours later, with him just arriving in front of the bar, that you’d see each other again. The streets of Seattle were illuminated only by obnoxious neon signs buzzing about, most of them busted. It was a cold night, the air crisp enough that Alec could see his own breath upon each exhale.

Breath that hitched in his throat the moment your frame entered his field of vision. You just turned the corner, striding towards him like a vision – despite him not knowing where to look first.

Your hair was styled, locks bouncing freely and lightly across your shoulder with each step you took. Apparently the chillier temperatures had not stopped you from picking out a minidress. It was decorated in dark sequins that reflected the neon lights in a way that made you sparkle.

He couldn’t help but let out a whistle as he eyed you up and down. His gaze briefly stopped at your exposed legs, right where the hem of your dress stopped. 

“I feel like the luckiest, most underdressed guy alive,” Alec chuckled once you stood in front of him. “You look amazing.”

Your lips curled into a bashful smile and you shyly hooked your arm through his. He took the cue and guided you inside, holding the door open for you on the way in. You both stepped inside, eager to warm up and grab a drink, only to be met with complete, eerie darkness.

Concentrating hard on his dimmed surroundings, Alec tensed at your side.

His hand clasped over your wrist as he grabbed you tightly, ready to pull you away, should the need arise. He was already in alert-mode, bracing himself to fend of any potential danger, when suddenly–

“Surprise!”

The lights flickered on, revealing your friends. They held balloons and threw confetti your way, clapping and cheering. A banner hung from the ceiling, the words HAPPY BIRTHDAY! spread across the fabric in a bold, glittery font.

Oh. Oh.

The group began to strike up a song, while Max busied herself with lighting a singular candle on a cupcake. She carried it over to you, a wide smile plastered across her face as she urged you to blow it out and make a wish.

Still dumbfounded, Alec watched as you beamed and closed your eyes, snuffing out the candle with a short puff of air.

It was your birthday.

Damnit, it was your birthday and Alec had no idea!

It all made sense to him now. 

Your sparkly dress. The weird conversations.

That’s why you’d been sulky the whole day. You were hoping someone would congratulate you, even just mention it.

This whole time he’d been under the impression that everyone was just going to meet here like usual, like any other day after work, part of that god forsaken routine-thing.

Special days to Alec were still a foreign concept. He was aware they existed, of course, but how could you fathom birthdays when you never celebrated your own.

Hell, he didn’t even know if he had one, technically.

“Your drinks are on us, sweetcheeks,” Original Cindy winked your way, thereby interrupting Alec’s internal monologue.

Right. This wasn’t about him. Today was about you. But, God, did he feel stupid. Playing along by giving you an awkward smile and nod, Alec nudged you towards the others.

“They better be,” you snickered, taking a ceremonial bite of the sugary pastry that’s been offered to you. “I thought you guys forgot.”

“We’d never,” Max gasped, playing along with your playful melodrama. “Right, Alec?”

He narrowed his eyes at her, mocking her with a cynical grin as if to say ‘very funny, Max, really.’ He felt the jab right away. These guys hadn’t so much fooled you as they had pranked him, huh?

The rest of the group took over, pulling you to the dance floor and singing along to the music with you while beer came flowing.

Alec ordered a bottle of champagne and joined you, deeming that this was the least he could do after fumbling so hard today. It was definitely on the pricier side, but the way your eyes lit up as he clinked your glasses together gently made every cent of it worth it.

You were getting bombarded with birthday wishes and showered in small gifts ranging from silly to thoughtful.

Someone placed a shiny, plastic tiara on your head, a tacky B for ‘Birthday’ centered in your hair now. You wore it like royalty. Sketchy handed you funny stickers and charms to decorate your bicycle helmet with. You were currently aweing over a collage of polaroids that Cindy and Max had crafted for you.

All while Alec was standing off to the side, back leaning against a wall, one hand in his pocket, the other fidgeting around with a bottle.

“Someone’s a party pooper,” Max spoke, stopping to stand next to him.

“Ten minutes ago I didn’t even know there was a party I could poop on,” Alec quipped and took a sip of his beer.

“You didn’t get Sketchy’s text?”

Obviously not.

But he could hardly blame his friend for this mess.

Alec shook his head and scoffed, more to himself than anything, really: “Ten minutes ago I didn’t even know today was their birthday.”

“Better spend the rest of it making it a good one for them anyways,” Max shrugged and gave Alec two or three reassuring shoulder-pats.

He knew she could relate somewhat.

Birthdays at Manticore were nonexistent. What’s more: They were nonessential. What mattered there was the present and the future. When you were born, or if you were merely a lab-creation, made no difference.

“Alec,” your cheerful voice rang through the pensive cloud in his brain. “This is the best party ever! C’mon, let’s dance!”

You were clearly already tipsy, your nose even redder than those flushed cheeks of yours, your eyes slightly glassy and your movement awkward as you staggered over to him. Your clumsy hand clawed at his sleeve until somehow you managed to pull him along.

You were having the time of your life and he couldn’t help but chuckle, a fuzzy warmth spreading through his chest at the realization that you wanted him to be part of this joyous moment.

Forgotten birthday or not, he’d make sure you’d have a party to remember.

Alec’s arm snaked around your waist to steady your swaying path and prevent you from tripping over your own feet. He even had to adjust that little crown on your head, loose strands of your hair tangled in it.

“Careful there, birthday babe,” he snorted softly as you clung to his shoulders and attempted to twirl to the music.

“Y’know,” you mumbled with a crooked, toothy smile, slurring over your own words. “Y’made my day, Alec. Really did.”

“Me?”

“Uh-huh,” you nodded strongly, repeatedly poking at his chest with your pointer finger. “You– mhh… you’re today’s hero!”

His eyebrows shot up in disbelief. Him a hero when he was the fool to overlook your birthday?

“What did I do?”

“This party, ‘s great, really is, I love it,” you babbled. “But you! You’re like the only one that made me happy earlier. At work, y’know? ‘N your text was’the first one – hic! – I got this mornin’ like you thought ‘f me ‘n that was so sweet.”

“I’m always thinking of you, darling,” Alec grinned, clearly bemused by your yapping, but also making a mental reminder to only have you drink water for the rest of the night.

“‘Xactly!,” you exclaimed in a Eureka tone. “I can always count on ya. Y’always make me feel like ‘s my birthday. Every. Single. Day.”

He laughed heartily and pulled you against his chest, his arms tight around your wobbling frame. You nuzzled your head to his shoulder with a content sigh.

“That’s because I’m glad you were born no matter what day it is,” he half-joked. It was definitely the truth, but he still felt a little bad for not realizing how special today was.

He’d make sure to shower you in gifts every year from now on. Sing you a song the minute midnight strikes and take you out to wherever you want to celebrate.

You rewarded him with a dazzling smile that had him feel like he was the birthday boy and your joy was his present. Alec spun you around, even scooted you up briefly to twirl you midair, just to enjoy another of those sweet giggles.

Once back to your feet, you still felt like you were on cloud nine.

“Happy birthday, darling,” he whispered into your ear, his lips grazing the spot just beneath it.

[thezombieprostitute]

Tech Tuesday: Mike

Summary: A new intern is assigned to your department.

A/N: Mike is from Hellraiser: Hellworld. If you need an idea as to what his character is like, I highly recommend this gif set.

Warnings: Age gap (Reader is 10+years older than Mike). Power imbalance.

Part 1

Tech Tuesday Masterlist

Mike swears his brain has melted out of his ears. This meeting has gone on forever. Clearly he was being subjected to cruel and unusual punishment for a crime he hadn't committed! He'd heard from 4 or 5 different employees about all the ways they use the interface. There had been a lot of back and forth between said employees about preferences for the new layout, pretty much everyone's ideas conflicted with each other. It only reinforced Mike's belief that he should just create some sample portals of his own design and have people pick from that.

You had noticed Mike's absentmindedness early on in the meeting and made sure to take all the notes he should have been writing. He's clearly not prepared for the job but you're not going to let him get away with not giving your employees what they want. Still, he is just an intern and part of the point of an internship is learning how to do the job. So you'll grant him this kindness. What he does with that will determine whether or not you ask Pine or Syverson to remove him.

After the meeting you wait for everyone else to leave before gesturing for Mike to follow you to your office. He flops down in one of the chairs by your desk, clearly exhausted.

You chuckle, "welcome to corporate life, kid."

"That was insane," Mike begins. "The interface sucks balls, obviously, but no one can agree on how to fix it? That was basically," he pulls out his phone, "2 HOURS! That was 2 hours of people not listening to each other! What the fuck?"

You sit in your chair. "First of all, watch your language." He shrinks a little under your gaze. "Secondly, that's not an every day occurrence, at least not under my watch. There's a reason I set this aside as a project."

Mike gives you a look like a confused puppy, "you mean projects aren't the daily work?"

"They can be," you nod. "But the majority of the work my people do is day-to-day stuff. Routine. Projects, unless otherwise specified, are filler work for them. For you, however, the project will be your internship."

He startles at that. "Shi---shoot," you smile at his self-correction. "I should've taken notes. I...I'm normally good at remembering things, but I wasn't expecting...Please tell me we don't have to have another fu-- meeting like that?"

You can tell he wants to go on a very colorful rant about how painfully boring the meeting was to him. Again, you find yourself smiling softly at his frustration, remembering how you were at that age.

Handing him your notes you tell him, "it's a good thing I took notes." His joy filled eyes makes you chuckle. "But this is a one-time thing," you warn. "I expect you to take your own notes going forward. And yes, there will be other meetings." He winces at this. "We need regular updates on your progress, regular feedback from the employees you're doing this for. So you'd better get some practice at note-taking. I find it helps me when the meetings get so boring my brain wants to destroy itself rather than continue."

"That's...good advice, Boss Lady," Mike says as he takes the notebook from you.

You roll your eyes at the nickname, "just get your butt to work, young man. I expect an update from you by the end of next week."

Part 1

Tech Tuesday Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory;

@kingliam2019; @late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82; @ozwriterchick; @ronearoundblindly

@thecrandle

[storiesoflilies]

school bus love (4)

synopsis: a series of successes, but it can’t always be sunshine and rainbows, can it?

pairing: teen!toji fushiguro x teen!f!reader.

warnings: none.

a/n: i’m done with my exams and i’m freeee! to celebrate, i’ve dropped more lily lore hehe. apologies if this isn’t the best, i’m so so tired, but i really wanted to post today! enjoy my darlings xo

part 3 // part 5

toji fushiguro was an exceptionally hard nut to crack.

throughout the past two months, they had sent each other daily streaks. as per usual, she sent her usual quirky streaks to try and pique his interest. to her credit, it worked quite a number of times, as they’d had quite a few conversations over snapchat. they hadn’t been flirting, but it was still progress, and she was absolutely ecstatic every time she managed to crack toji’s enigmatic shell and draw him in.

however, they never spoke in person on the bus.

“you’re both bizarre,” her bus buddy had commented in private, rolling her eyes. “how can you snap each other every day and then not even speak actual words?”

she bit her lip nervously, swinging her heavy backpack higher onto her shoulder. “i don’t know! i’m too shy, maybe he is too?”

her bus buddy sighed heavily and rolled her eyes, clawing for her revision notes from somewhere inside her tote bag. exam season was in full swing, and having any sort of distraction was far from ideal. she was studying hard, but with thoughts of toji rippling in the back of her mind like a tantalizing fruit swinging high up on a tree, just out of reach.

she noticed that he often deflected the conversation back to her whenever she asked him slightly more personal questions. toji seemed to more interested in hearing about her old life back home, about the way of life and culture. while it was nice that he took an interest, his deflections and apparent unwillingness to reveal much about himself made her seriously doubt if toji had any sort of feelings for her.

chasing after him was maddening, and still so very addictive.

however, she had to decide when it was time to go cold turkey and cut her losses, but that time wasn’t just yet.

a movie was playing in the background as she peacefully lounged in the living room after a particularly long day at school. the rain hammered down outside, creating a pleasant hum of droplets hitting the roof, and she snuggled up further into the couch with her steaming mug of tea.

“so, how’s the handsome boy doing?” her mom suddenly perked up, sipping a glass of fizzy water. “the one at the bus stop.”

“oh, toji? we’re still talking.”

“you’re still just talking? he hasn’t asked you on a date yet?”

“mom, don’t. it’s exam time, i’m not thinking about that right now, and i bet he isn’t either.”

“alright, alright! i’m just saying, maybe you should take the initiative instead of waiting for him.”

she contemplated that with a finger placed thoughtfully on her lip. she’d always wanted to be asked on her first date, not the other way around, and it was a sentiment she wanted to hold on to for as long as possible. moreover, she wasn’t even totally sure that toji liked her back.

the plan had to shift; she had to step it up just a notch.

that night, after sending a picture of her midnight snack of avocado on toast and successfully attracting toji’s attention, she laid out the bare bones of a subtle plan. a plan that involved an indirect suggestion that should hopefully end with him asking her to see the latest avengers movie with him.

haha, so true. have you seen endgame yet?

toji fushiguro: nah not yet, wbu?

nah, not yet. i rlly want to tho 🙃

toji fushiguro: ah yeha, me and my friends are going on tuesday

well… fuck.

oh nice!! haha no spoilers though

toji fushiguro: hmm oh well now you mention it

toji fushiguro: nah, dw i wont i’m not that much of a dick haha

yeah lol, well hopefully i can see it before i go back home

that was a good nudge, right? it wasn’t too subtle. if he liked her, then surely he would take the initiative now.

toji fushiguro: oh when r you goin back?

a week after my last exam, can’t wait lol

toji fushiguro: i bet, it’ll be so much better than here

ah it’s not so bad here haha, wbu? what’s your plans for the summer?

toji fushiguro: so how hot does it get over there in summer?

she felt deflated, like a giant hot air balloon loosing all its shape and spluttering into a mess as it hurtled to the ground. why was toji so reluctant to answer such simple questions? it wasn’t like she was asking him to reveal the deepest, dirtiest secrets about himself. her heart was only half in the conversation after that, and she indulged his questions for a while before it fizzled out, like a sizzling party sparklers doused in an ice-cold splash of reality.

would this crush soon fizzle out in the same way too?

side note: i told my boyfriend i was writing this little drabble series about us, and his exact response was, “ew, why?” he doesn’t like to admit that we were cute. he’s a big grump, but i love him very much lol.

©storiesoflilies 2024, all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other sites! i only post on ao3 and tumblr.

[bones4thecats]

goddess! Meg from Hercules Disney with Heracles, poseidon, indra, rudra and shiva please? With her being on the side of humanity, after she met adam and eve and saw their love for their children (found family😭) so she just goes like 'frick you all gods I'm going with humans' like how meg changed after meeting Hercules in the movie.

A/N: People, pay attention to the character limit please!! My limit is 3-4, not more!! I’m getting request after request with more than 4 characters, so before you request please check the Request Form!! Because of having 5 characters, Poseidon and Heracles are in another part, thanks. Anyways, enjoy~

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

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🌊 Indra understood why you were so upset, you didn’t want to help them out that much, it was just a favor you owed Zeus, and he used it for this

🌊 Thankfully, he wasn’t possessive like others

🌊 When you pulled him aside after the first round and told him you were going to deflect to Humanity’s side, he just sighed, knowing he had no way of stopping you, he did enjoy your stubbornness, but sometimes it was far too hard to handle

🌊 Watching you announce it after saving the life of Adam made him smirk, you really cared for him, his wife and kids, huh?

🌊 You looked at your husband in the eyes and he just waved and pretended to tip a hat to you

🌊 He may be a God with a few personality issues, but with you, he understands better than anyone else

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⛈️ He and you were friends for such a long time, but due to pantheon issues, you guys cut off a lot while growing up

⛈️ As the Greek Goddess of Loyalty and Independence, you were busy constantly with handling many different affairs, mostly Hera complaining and getting revenge against Zeus’ ladies on Earth

⛈️ But when Ragnarok occurred, you noticed how unfair the Gods of your pantheon were looking down at the humans, who just wanted to continue their descendants life

⛈️ In this case, you jumped in the middle of Heracles and Jack’s fight and announced that Ragnarok would continue with you siding with Humanity

⛈️ In honor of the fallen Adam and Lü Bu, you would continue fighting and finish what the Gods and Valkyries had decided to start

⛈️ Rudra just smiled gently down at you, he knew he couldn’t stop you, you represented independence, you can’t take that away from someone, especially you

⛈️ He supported you full-heartedly, and as fights continued, you’d meet afterwards and relax with one another, speaking on how your sides were matching

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🪩 He dislikes humans quite a bit, but he did admire how peaceful you seemed with them

🪩 You were a Greek Goddess, specifically one that represented Revenge and Love, true love, you’d always correct, not the fake stuff you had to deal with your fellow pantheon members

🪩 Shiva and you had spoken about your allegiance with the Gods, and when he heard you wanted to side with Humanity, he snapped and flew into a quiet rage

🪩 Why would you want to side with them?! Those impeccable creatures were the reason your heart broke all those years ago! Yet you still like them?! WHY?!

🪩 Your husband sighed after a while of hearing you out and while he stayed with the Gods with his wives, all four of them smiled while you cheered on Humanity for their wins, starting with Sasaki

🪩 And seeing you smile and care for the fighters for their bravery and dedication, he couldn’t be mad, he’s never seen you so happy and caring before

🪩 Shiva and you would rest together a lot more when the daily rounds ended, he and you were apart most of the days now, and his wives would curl around you both, wanting to feel the love of their amazing and brave wife!

[whalyrae]

THE OLD GUARD - CHAPTER 4

"We don’t get a say on how it ends, we never have. But we can control how we live."

Summary : You are a powerful witch, cursed and hurt through ages. Owner of your esoteric shop, you were resigned to live this lonely life when the powerful magic of soulmates and fate came to you.

Pairing : poly BTS x reader (she/her)

Genre : soulmate au, demons bts au, witch y/n au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, polyamory relationships

Status : In process

Word Count : 5k

Warnings : eventual smut, angst, mention of depression, death, suicide, past trauma, violence, blood, past (sexual) abuse, past torture, PTSD, scars, self harm, and more.

Tag list : @blackrockshooter780 @babyymeme @starrlo0ver @suckerforv @mushroom-main @m1sss1mp @prettydancingdamzel @i-have-no-life-charlie @avadakadabra93 @veronawrites @kawaiikpoplover268 @didi-9310 @ghostlyworld @carolinexkpop @gooooomz @00ihatesnaku

A/N : After months of struggling with life, health, mental health issues... I can FINALLY POST AGAIN !! This chapter was really hard to write (I cried a little at the end ngl :D), I have constant writer block, constant impostor syndrome... I have the perfectionnism trait but in a toxic way really TT.TT Don't hesitate to like and reblog !! Also don't be afraid to leave a little comment or if you have any questions, here or in anon in my inbox !! they are really really welcomed, I love reading all your impressions and thoughts !!

Also thank you so much !! I was inactive for a very long time and I still got daily alerts with people who liked/kudos the chapters and the story :(( I can't express (yeah i'm an author and i can't express through words LOL) how much i'm grateful :(( ♥♥

ps : ah and sorry if there is any mistakes or anything it's almost 2:30am when I post this and I had an really emotionnal day fgkfdhlfk LOVE YALL MUAH ♥

Playlist link : The Old Guard Playlist

Masterlist | ao3 | wattpad

Chapter 3 // Chapter 5

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

She was wondering whether it would be better to ask Handong to stay with her. She had assured her that she would handle the situation and that Handong could go home. She knew that Gahyeon would need her at their coffee shop. 

However, now that she was in the living room of the seven boys, her soulmates’, after bringing one of them in an utterly unconscious state for a reason as unknown to them as it was to her, she was starting to regret this decision.

She couldn't understand what had happened with Jin the moment their eyes met. She couldn't say anything, the words were stuck in her throat as they stared at each other without a word. He parted his lips as if he wanted to say something, but just like her, nothing came out. 

He'd known she was his soul mate, of course he could feel it. Just like her. But had he recognized her? Did he know that the two of them were the firsts of their soulmate bond to meet, long before any of the other six were born? She couldn't be sure and didn't have time to find out. 

She had seen his features contort in pain, and without a word, he had collapsed. Luckily, Handong, who had seen them, was able to catch him in time, preventing him from falling to the ground and potentially injuring himself. 

Thanks to a spell that increased her strength tenfold, she could carry him without Handong’s help and any difficulty to the place where he lived with his mates. But she couldn't stop herself from hurrying, worried sick about him.

And that's where she is now. Jungkook helped her carry Jin to the living room, laying him on the sofa. While Yoongi woke up Taehyung and Namjoon. Jimin and Hoseok hurried to get a damp cloth on Jin's forehead. 

Namjoon and Taehyung stormed into the room, not hiding their surprise at seeing her there in total panic. 

However, they didn't ask any questions. Yoongi probably had to explain to them what happened and what was going on. 

She was standing in front of the sofa where Jin was lying, staring at the unconscious demon, his features distorted by pain. The sight of him was enough to make her stomach twist with soreness. 

"Hey, Noona..." Jimin's soft voice startled her. He was standing next to her, a comforting smile on his lips, "Everything’s going to be fine, don't worry..."

She didn't even know what to say. She didn't dare to look him in the eye, or any of the other boys. The guilt she'd been carrying around with her all these centuries was only getting stronger. 

She could hear voices behind her, probably the boys talking amongst themselves, or maybe they were trying to talk to her. She didn't know. Nothing around her was clear and precise. Her vision was blurring, her heart rate had been racing for a while and she was getting worse. 

She gasped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned round abruptly, facing Namjoon. The other boys were behind him, except for Yoongi who was next to Jin. 

"Hey," he greeted her with a gentle smile, "don't worry, everything's going to be fine,” he repeated Jimin’s words, “You're having a panic attack, I'm gonna help you, okay? Look at me."

His voice was soft and reassuring, it had a calming effect on her. His presence and warmth invaded her whole being, despite the anxiety attack she was having. 

She raised her eyes to meet him. Slowly, he tells her to take long, deep breaths. The first time, she breathed in and breathed out. Then a second time. And a third. 

Finally, her breathing returned to normal and her heart rate calmed. Seeing this, Namjoon gave her another smile, his fingers caressing her shoulder to calm her down. 

She had the strange impression that Namjoon probably possessed some kind of power capable of influencing the emotions, feelings, or even bodily reactions of the people he touched. Or maybe it was just the soulmate effect. 

"Feeling better?" 

"Yes... Thank you..." She replied with a small smile, seeing Hoseok approach her with a glass of water. "Thanks… and sorry, I wish we'd met under different circumstances..."

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm enchanted to meet you." 

Hoseok gave her a big, bright smile, which he succeeded in communicating to her. 

"I guess you guys have questions... and why did I show up with Jin in this state..."

She turned her attention to Jin. A wave of emotion suddenly washed over her as she realized that yes, he was there, in the same room as her. Her soul mate, the first to cross her way, the one she'd lost so suddenly and brutally centuries ago. A mixture of joy, sadness, guilt, and apprehension. 

"Do you know what's going on with him? And why is he in this condition?" Hoseok asked curiously, taking back the glass she'd just drunk in one long sip.

She bit her lower lip nervously. She had to tell them. Jin was their soulmate, just like he was hers.

But where to start?

"Come on, settle down here."

Yoongi straightened up to install her on the sofa, right next to Jin still unconscious. He'd then sat down next to her, while the others had taken seats in front of her, Namjoon and Hoseok on the low table, the maknae on the floor, clinging to each other.

The sight made her smile gently. But quickly the smile disappeared, replaced by apprehension. The words just wouldn't come out of her mouth. She knew that the moment had come, that once she'd told them everything, they'd hate her, reject her, and she’d lose the people she'd waited for all her life. 

"Noona... I can smell your fear all the way up here..." murmured Jimin, her eyes landing on him with surprise, "I'm an empath, by the way..." he explained with a shrug. 

"You don't have to be an empath to sense the fear radiating from her." chuckled Taehyung, teasing his companion who gave him a nudge on the shoulder, "Oops, sorry sweetie." 

"I know that from the moment you will know the whole story, you'll never want to hear from me again and I... argh that's the last thing I want," she admitted with a sad smile. The events of the last few days had paralyzed and overwhelmed her in some ways when it came to making the right decisions, and she was extremely upset with herself about this.  

"But I think I need to stop being scared, and selfish like I have been."

"We could never hate you," Hoseok said firmly, the others all giving signs of approval, "no matter what you've done." 

"Tell us all the horrible things you ever did, and let us love you anyway."

She recognized Namjoon's words. And she wasn’t surprised that he could quote Edgard Allan Poe, considering the circumstances of their first meeting. 

She couldn't deny that his words made her feel a tinge of comfort, because he was sincere, and every one of the other boys thought so. 

But they didn't know the whole story yet, so the chances of them thinking differently once they knew the whole truth were pretty high. 

"Where to start..." she took a long breath, "Jin... I met him before I even knew I was immortal. That was... uh... it seems like an eternity now, at the beginning of the 15th century."

She expected the exclamations of surprise that followed. 

"Wait... you mean you and Jin hyung..." Jungkook fell silent to think. 

"Why didn't he ever tell us about you then? And why have we never met you before ?” asked Yoongi skeptically, "You're our soulmate, his soulmate, how could he..."

"It's more complicated than it sounds..." she sighed, scratching the back of her head nervously. "I always knew I was a witch, my mother was a witch herself. I lived in a village in France during the period when the witch hunts began. It was also during this period that the Malleus Maleficarum was written." 

"I know this book," Hoseok sighed loudly as he shook his head, visibly annoyed, "this pile of garbage written in the late 15th century, which supposedly explains what a witch is, how to recognize one, interrogate them, and kill them."

"A load of bullshit yeah," Namjoon added with a chuckle, "I rarely waste my time reading books, but this one..."

"Tell me more !" Jimin exclaimed, "I read it too, well, not all of it, it's so... misogynistic and sexist!" 

"I... was one of the witches who had to go through all the torture and experimentation to write this... book or whatever it is. And most of the women who suffered all that crap were just ordinary mortals," she admitted with a little restraint. 

Horrified exclamations were heard from the maknaes and Hoseok. Yoongi and Namjoon closed their eyes for a few seconds, repressing the anger rising within them. 

Talking about these events did not leave her indifferent; these memories were among the worst she had ever known, and she still sometimes had nightmares about them. 

She remained silent for a few moments, before finally speaking up.

"That's not the point. Jin is the point. When I met him, he was a merchant passing through the village." A small smile appeared mechanically as she recalled this memory, "It was love at first sight. Of course, it was. He knew I was his soul mate, but I... I didn't even know what a soulmate was. He taught me. He taught me so many things..."

She turned her head towards Jin, still unconscious beside her. Oh, how she'd missed him. He hadn't changed a bit. 

"I immediately sensed that he wasn't human, just as he'd guessed that I was a witch. So much better in a way, it made things easier."

Delicately, she let her fingers stroke his forehead, brushing aside a few strands of hair, a tender smile on her face.

"He stayed in the village after that. I had taken over the bakery from my parents who had passed away from an illness a few months before I met him. We weren't the richest, but we were happy.”

The other boys couldn't contain the grins on their faces. Of course, this story was beautiful and worthy of a fairy tale. But they all knew that fairy tales were only fantasy stories. The reality was not nearly as lovely. 

"We lived... two years like that before everything went to hell."

She felt her hands tremble as she recalled what she was about to say.

Jimin sensed her nervousness, fear, and sadness. He left Taehyung and Jungkook's embrace to kneel before her, gently taking her hands in his for comfort.

Her gaze met his, and he offered her a gentle, reassuring smile. But she couldn't relax.

"The witch-hunt had begun and was becoming increasingly virulent and violent. The villagers had always thought it was strange that I hadn't suffered the same illness as my parents. I knew the rumors about Jin and I. But until now, we'd managed to keep a discreet, almost unnoticed presence. Until she came along."

Jimin squeezed her hands a little tighter as he felt her anger rising. 

"That demoness... came to our village, supposedly a cloth merchant. She fell for Jin. Was it love, or just a physical attraction? I don’t know. She succumbed to his devastating charm, like so many others before her." She chuckled, imitated by Yoongi. 

"As you would expect, Jin did nothing but ignore her and rebuff her advances. She didn't appreciate it at all… I learned later that this half-succubus demoness was renowned for finding prey and not letting go until she got what she wanted."

"A real nasty leech..." muttered Jungkook.

She noticed, however, that Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok expressions had changed. They had exchanged glances, seeming to pass a message to each other that she didn't understand. She decided to ignore it for the moment.

"Things got worse after she arrived, after Jin's rejection." She took a long breath. "She's the one who delivered me to the villagers, who exposed me. When we realized her plan, that she was planning to take Jin with her by force, by any means necessary, we wanted to run away. We'd go to Asia, or America, or wherever, to another continent, away from her, away from all of this. But that demoness had planned everything… We were young, unaware, and inexperienced, unlike her. I was barely 25, and he was 23... we just wanted to..."

She paused to calm herself, her heartbeat quickening again. Fortunately, Jimin was able to calm her, just by being here, his soft hands on hers, and she was grateful for that. She thanked him with a small smile, which he returned by stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. How could a demon be so angelic? 

"She specialized in memory magic..."

"Oh, I'm getting the hang of it..." muttered Namjoon, clenching his jaw.

"That bitch…" added Yoongi, making her huff.

"The villagers arrived in the middle of the night. We didn't see it coming. The demoness took advantage of this moment to attack Jin and cast a spell to erase me from his memory. The last time I saw Jin was before they put a bag over my head when he was unconscious in her arms." 

She lowered her head, and it was only when she felt Jimin's soft hand on her cheek that she noticed a tear had rolled down. 

She knew what the demoness had done, she knew that she'd erased Jin's memory, simply because she'd come to see her a few days later in the cell where she was being held captive. She explained everything, adding that she had offered to give her over to the Catholic order of Dominicans who wrote the Malleus Maleficarum. Which happened, the day after she came.

"When I finally escaped... After several months," she continued anyway, her voice trembling, "I looked for him, I... crossed France from top to bottom, and Europe... I looked for him everywhere, for many years... I never found him... until now..." 

Jimin's hands gripped hers a little tighter. She looked up at him, then at Yoongi, who had moved a little closer to her. Their shoulders were touching, his way of showing her some comfort. 

"So that's what happened..." muttered Namjoon, who had straightened up, his eyebrows furrowed, looking thoughtful.

"I hate humans..." blurted Jungkook as he hugged Taehyung tightly, his companion nodding in agreement. 

"And so, you thought we'd hate you, or I don't know what other nonsense might go through your little head when we know the truth?" Yoongi asked, holding back a laugh. “I don’t see why. I mean. It’s genuine, really.”

She arched her eyebrows in confusion. She thought that it seemed logical. She hadn't been able to protect Jin, she’d left him in the clutches of this demoness who'd probably done a thousand and one things to him that she didn't even want to think about. She hated herself for it.

"Hyung." Hoseok sighed, shaking his head, "stop."

"I failed to protect him, he's my soulmate and... I abandoned him and..."

"You didn't do any of that, Y/N."

Namjoon approached her. He took Jimin’s place and knelt down facing her, placing his hands on hers. 

"You're both the victims. You've met someone stronger, older, more experienced than you and she took advantage of it. You did everything you could. You did your best. You could never be blamed for that. We could never blame you for that. ."

"And Jin hyung won't blame you either, I'm sure," Hoseok added with a small smile. "When he will regain his memory, when we will give him back what that demoness stole from him, he'll be the happiest man in the world to have you back with him, with us. Believe me."

She pressed her lips together, not wanting to cry, not yet. 

Yoongi wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer.

"It's over now," he whispered against her hair, "you're not alone anymore, you won't be. We've found you, you've found us." 

She couldn't hold back the few tears that had started to fall. How could she not break down, after all those centuries spent alone, thinking that her soulmates didn't want her, living with the guilt of having abandoned the only soulmate she’d ever known. 

They said the same things as her friends when she told them everything a few days ago.

None of them thought for a second that what happened to Jin and her was her fault. 

That feeling of being understood, of not being judged, of being accepted despite her past mistakes and scars.

That feeling of being in the presence of her soul-mates. 

She hadn't felt so at peace in what seemed like an eternity. Ever since Jin and her were separated.

°°°

"Noona... I have a few questions..."

"Here we go... the kid and his questions. Wait, I'll get you an aspirin and a big glass of water."

Jungkook glared at Yoongi, who had gotten up to go into the kitchen, a sneer on his lips.

Jin still hadn't woken up, but after a simple soothing spell and an herbal ointment she’d carefully placed on his temples, he was calmer, his body more relaxed.

She hadn't wanted to stay, not wanting to risk another attack if Jin woke up again. She learned through Yoongi about the migraine attacks he'd had since the day she met Namjoon. 

But the boys convinced her to stay. Namjoon and Hoseok had disappeared into their library, explaining that they were going to rummage through their books after a potential counter-spell. She wanted to go with them, but they insisted she stay with Jin and rest. 

It didn't take long to realize that Jin's seizures had a direct link with her.

As her soul mate, and despite his forced amnesia, his subconscious knew who she was. But it wasn't strong enough to bring back the memories the demoness had made disappear. Well, they hadn't disappeared, technically; she'd just hidden them very well somewhere in his psyche.

her scent on the clothes of Namjoon, Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook had been the trigger for his subconscious to awaken, for his memories to struggle, to resurface and make Jin realize that yes, he did know her, as his intuition suggested. Yes, the person on the hill was her, yes every memory he thought belonged to someone else was his, and that the blurry person sharing them with him was none other than her.

The migraines, the loss of consciousness... were only signs that his body, mind, and soul were fighting to bring his memories back to where they belonged, to finally give him back what that demoness had stolen from him.

Or at least, that's what she’d come to conclude on hearing Yoongi's explanations.

"Ask me anything Jungkook, don't worry," she replied with a small smile, still sitting next to Jin. 

Yoongi had returned with some drinks (no aspirin, to Junkook's great relief) which he gave to the three maknae, still sitting opposite her, and to her, then sat down on the coffee table. 

"I was wondering, how did you find out that you were... immortal? I mean, what does that actually mean?"

She'd been expecting this question. Even for demons, immortality was still a rather vague concept. Nobody is immortal. Demons and vampires aged slowly, very much more slowly than human beings. But they weren't really immortal. 

"I died for the first time after the Malleus Maleficarum experiments, they sentenced me to be hanged to death, like all the witches at that time." 

She heard the exclamations of surprise from the maknaes. Yoongi remained silent, listening to her attentively. 

"I actually died that day. Except... except a few seconds after I took my last breath, my heart started beating again, and I came back to life."

None of them could believe their ears. Yoongi couldn't hide his surprise either, and she knew that a thousand questions were forming in their heads. 

"The second time was a few days later. At a bonfire." she continued, bowing her head, "The thing is… I feel all the pain, all the way to death. But for some reason, I live again and again. No matter how people try to kill me, no matter how I die, my wounds heal themselves, my organs reform." 

"Is it due to a spell?" finally asked Yoongi with his eyebrows furrowed, "or maybe some kind of witch, a hybrid with a phoenix..."

"I think you're going a bit far, hyung..." Taehyung chuckled slightly. 

"Hey, every proposition can be plausible, gamin."

She couldn't hold back a smile. It was obvious that they'd known each other for several decades now, that they'd been through a lot together. In a way, she was relieved that at least they hadn't had to go through all that alone. 

"I've never known the reason, or why I became like that," she finally continued, scratching the back of her neck, "I just am. Several times I thought I wouldn't get up this time from certain injuries, especially during the wars, but I always got up again. And just like that, more than 600 years have gone by." 

"Maybe it's just that fate didn't want you to die before you met your soul mates, who knows." Yoongi chuckled, shrugging. 

"If you think the universe and destiny are that kind of romantic..." Jungkook rolled his eyes.

"I'm tempted to believe that theory, it's much sweeter and more romantic than a curse put on you..." added Jimin with a little pout. 

"Sometimes things just happen, and they're impossible to explain. Even for creatures like us." she let go with a sigh and an embarrassed smile, "In any case, I've stopped looking and obsessing over it, I've just accepted it."

"Still, it must be painful to die, over and over again..." Jimin cocked his head to the side, feeling a wave of sadness as he thought of all she'd had to go through in her long life. As an empath, his reaction hardly surprised her.

If they knew. She didn't want to dwell on how some humans and even other creatures had taken advantage of her immortality to put her through the many horrors she’d experienced. This wasn't the time to talk about all those things.

“Our pretty soulmate is strong and courageous.” Yoongi finally broke the silence after a few seconds, “She’ll talk about it when she feels ready.” 

She bites her lips. She wanted to tell him to not call her pretty, but she felt that it was destined to fail. Yoongi seemed to be stubborn, maybe a little too much. 

“Do you guys think Joonie and Hobi will find something ?” Asked Jungkook, looking at Jin with worry. 

“For sure they will!” exclaimed Jimin, “Namjoon has books that are centuries old and unique, Hobi and him are the most intelligent demons ever! They’ll find something, surely!”

Jimin was passionate, his trust in his partners was blind and absolute. It was probably the same for all of them, she was sure about it, but Jimin was the one who showed it the most. 

“In the worst case…”

“Taehyung don’t start…” mumbled Jungkook, as the others sighed. 

“Let me finish! In the worst case, if we don’t find anything for Jin hyung, the solution is simple, very simple. We’ll create new memories, so many new happy memories all together!”

“If something was robbed from you without your consent, I think you'd like to have it back. Don't you think so?" Yoongi asked, his voice softened as he ruffled Taehyung’s hair who nodded with a sad pout.

He was just as worried as the others. There were so many unanswered questions, so many theories without explanations, so many problems without solutions yet.

“Namjoon and Hoseok always find a way to resolve problems, you should be used to it now.” 

That voice startled all of them. All five heads turned to the sofa beside Yoongi and her. To everyone's surprise, Jin was staring at them, or rather, at her. 

“Jin you’re awake !”

While the younger hurried towards their eldest, their faces racked with worry and relief, she reflexively stepped back.

She couldn't get very far, as her back bumped into a chest. She turned to face Yoongi, who placed his hands gently on her shoulders. He could read the stress and apprehension on her face. He couldn't imagine what she must be feeling right now, coming face to face with the one she'd lost centuries ago. 

"Where are you going like this?" he asked at first in a slightly teasing tone, before he leaned towards her and whispered, his voice softening, "Relax, everything's fine."

She opened her mouth to reply, but no sound came out. She'd spent her whole life looking for Jin and his other soulmates. Now they were all here. They were all in the same house. Everything still seemed so unreal that she didn’t know how to react or what to do. 

“Y/N ?”

She froze when she heard her name coming from Jin's lips. The others in the room gave him a surprised, confused look.

"Hyung, do you..."

"Remember her? Us? Unfortunately not, I don’t. But I heard you guys talking earlier, I wasn't totally unconscious. Thanks for the herbs, by the way, they really appeased my headache."

Her eyes widened at his words. Had he heard everything? Did he know the whole story, just like his other soulmates? In a way, she didn't know if she could handle a new explanation, which was a bit of a relief. On the other, she was concerned about his reaction, since he was the one who was affected. 

Jin straightened up to sit on the sofa, helped by Jimin. Yoongi was still standing behind her and gave her a gentle nudge, so that she didn't push herself aside. 

Jin's eyes landed on her. For a moment, he said nothing, just looked at her. She could feel the stress twisting her stomach, her legs going limp as cotton. She felt weaker than she had ever felt before. 

"Can you come a little closer, please?" 

Jin's voice was soft; she perceived no anger, no resentment on his side. He had kept his comforting aura, the same one she'd known so long ago, the same one that had reassured her countless times. 

She soon faced him and lowered herself slightly to be at the same height as him. 

How was someone supposed to react to finding their soulmate and youthful amnesiac love, lost in tragic circumstances centuries ago? 

She was torn between tears of joy and relief, but the guilt that consumed her seemed to be the most dominant feeling at the moment. 

"Jin I..."

She pursed her lips. Her voice trembled. For sure her body would betray her right now. 

Jin offered him a tender smile and shook his head. 

"Shht, it's all right." he murmured his words as he gently grasped her hand, "come here."

Without waiting for a response from her, he pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her. 

At first, her eyes widened in surprise. Quickly, she couldn't hold back any longer. Her arms followed and she hugged his waist as if her life depended on it. 

"I know what you're thinking," he began, his hand running gently through her hair, "I'm not angry or anything, how could I be? It was never your fault, nor mine." He paused before letting out a small sigh, she could hear all the pain, the sadness in his voice, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry you've had to carry this burden all alone all this time…"

Her whole body was shaking. His voice was shaking, as if he were holding back his own tears. She was fighting inside. She was fighting herself not to break down. But her traitorous body still betrayed her, and she couldn't even control her tears, which had started to flow uncontrollably. 

But his words. His words resonated not only in her heart but in her entire soul. She didn't know how much she needed to hear those words from him until now. 

"We'll find a way, and everything will go back to normal, it will be even better, I promise."

After all these years, these centuries of living with the weight of guilt, the weight of regret, the feeling that she'd never be able to meet her soul mates... she felt all this weight recede, making way for a quietude and lightness like she'd never known before. 

An eternity of torment, torture, and pain was finally over. 

It was as if she'd been deprived of oxygen all her life, until now, as if her breathing had been cut off, and now she was finally getting it back. 

And even though she was currently crying her heart out in Jin's arms, she could also feel Taehyung's warm, reassuring hand on her back, Jimin's, Jungkook's, and Yoongi's presence in the room, Namjoon's and Hoseok's, even if they weren't in the same room with them. 

Her cries were no longer cries of sadness. There was only relief, and it was becoming more of an evacuation from all that time of pain and isolation. 

All those smells, all that warmth that invaded her body at that moment, brought her calm and relief she'd never be able to explain, not even in a day, a year, ten years, or even a hundred years.

The reunion with Jin that day, feeling him against her again, as well as having the presence of her soul mates around them, those who were destined for her. After all this time where her heart and soul had been crying out for help, she had finally been heard. 

The darkness was finally disappearing, as the clouds and obscurity finally allowed the sun a chance to shine.

And despite her tears, she couldn't help smiling, because at last, she knew that happiness really was within her grasp.

[lanadelnegan]

My Past, My Future - Part 4

Negan x Reader x Daryl

Read part three here

Read part 5 (final chapter) here

Warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, oral (f receiving), p in v, mentions of hurting self

Note: this one's short I'm sorry. also, every time I think I'm working on the final chapter, it just keeps going. this story is writing itself at this point lol.

Let me know if you're #TeamDaryl or #TeamNegan !!!

6 months later...

You never found Negan. You looked for three days straight before you finally headed back to Alexandria defeated and exhausted, and spent the next three weeks alone in your house moping, crying, and wishing he'd come back. You can only hope he's okay and that wherever he is, he's happy.

If it weren't for Daryl checking in on you daily and making you eat, you probably would have starved yourself.

"Babe, ya okay?"

"Huh? Yeah.. You ready?" You smile back at Daryl, throwing your backpack over your shoulder and pushing the negative thoughts out of your head. You can only focus on the present now, forgetting your past and ignoring what the future holds. And you have to remind yourself of that every time your mind drifts to Negan, wondering where he could possibly be.

Did he find someone? Does he still think about me? Is he.. even alive?

Sometimes your thoughts keep you up at night until the guilt eats you alive, but when you look at the man sleeping next to you, you realize how good you actually have it. And you're thankful for him.

You climb on the back of Daryl's bike, hooking your arms around his waist as he drives off, beginning your weekly run together. This time you're planning to go further West, towards territory you've barely explored, hoping to find food and if you're really lucky, more weapons.

Your hands roam underneath his shirt, rubbing his stomach as you lean your head on his back. He drives until it starts to get dark before guiding the bike through an opening in the woods and parking next to a nice open spot.

"Kinda looks like where we had our first kiss." You say, hopping off the bike and noticing a stream up ahead.

Once you both have things set up for the night, Daryl insists you sleep first while he keeps lookout, being the gentleman that he is.

You kiss him goodnight and shut your eyes while snuggling the sleeping bag. Your thoughts drift to Negan again, wondering what he's doing at the moment until Daryl's voice gets your attention.

"Can I ask you somethin?"

You lazily open your eyes. "Always."

"You still think about em?"

Your eyes look down, unable to look at him as you contemplate your answer. If you say yes, you'll hurt him. But if you say no, you're lying to your best friend.

Daryl nods at your silence, knowing your answer already. "Still love em?" He asks.

"I - I dunno.." You answer truthfully. You've had so much time to process things, that you're genuinely unsure if you still love him in that way or not. Of course you'll always care about him, but you also love Daryl now.

Is it possible to love them both?

Morning:

Daryl snores lightly as you watch the sun come up and decide to explore a little. Neither of you spotted a walker the entire night, so you decide it's safe enough to scope around.

You follow the sound of the water nearby and come to the edge, eyes widening when you see a medium-sized waterfall in the distance. The water even looks.. clean. No walkers in sight.

"Baby! Wake up!" You call back to Daryl, ripping off your clothes. You don't wait for him as you run into the cold water. You swim to the waterfall, letting it fall over you as your nipples peak at the coldness. You spot Daryl from across the water, watching him strip down before joining you.

It's not often that the man smiles, so you treasure moments like this, admiring the happiness on his face before he dunks himself under the water completely. You swim to him, wrapping your arms around his neck as he kneels in the shallow water, gripping your thighs around his waist.

"Life is so fun with you." You whisper before he crashes his lips into yours.

You grind yourself into him as your tongues dance together, feeling his bare semi-erect cock press into you. You allow your hands to run through his long wet hair, leading his head towards your chest. He takes the hint and immediately sucks a nipple into his mouth as you feel him harden completely under the water.

He groans into your mouth before leading you to a large boulder on the edge of the water and lifting you up onto it. His hands spread your legs apart as his head dives between your legs, immediately lapping at your pussy.

You lean up on your elbows to watch him and his blue eyes meet yours as he licks a line from your hole to your clit. You bite your bottom lip hard, trying not to moan out and draw any attention from the dead, until his lips wrap around your erect clit, sucking hard repeatedly.

"Fuck, Daryylll." You moan, letting your head fall back. Your eyes close shut from the bright sun as Daryl stands suddenly, lining himself up to your entrance.

He's not as long as Negan, but wider, and never fails to stretch your walls to the max. You cry out as he pushes all the way into you with one thrust. He pulls you closer to the edge, making the rough rock scratch your back, but you enjoy the pain. You both moan and pant for each other as his hips slam into you.

He's also not as verbal as Negan and.... fuck. You're thinking about him again. You lock eyes with Daryl as he fucks you, wanting to forget about Negan and only concentrate on the man in front of you.. your best friend. Your boyfriend. The only man that should be on your mind.

When his finger finds your clit, it doesn't take long before you're coming apart around him. Daryl feels your walls tighten and pulls out quickly, watching as your juices spray out. He realized he could make you squirt a long time ago, and now it's his new favorite thing.

He pushes back into you, fucking you through your orgasm as his own builds up. His hands rest on the rock as his head drops, watching how your soaked pussy splashes with each thrust of his dick.

He groans hoarsely, pulling out of you as his cum spills all over your stomach and you both breathe heavily as he lazily falls over you.

"Damn girl, never get tired of you." He says before kissing your lips and pulling you back into the water with him.

You both clean up and enjoy the water a little longer before getting out and letting the hot sun dry you off. Once you're dressed, you both hop back on the bike, driving a little further until you decide to pull off to the side of the road.

"Looks like another path." He nods to the wood line before parking the bike out of sight as you both begin walking through the brush.

You continue for what feels like a mile before coming to an old house. The two of you look at each other, silently agreeing to scope it out. It's quiet as you approach the front steps, carefully making your way to the front door. You nod to Daryl as he pushes the door open, surprised to find it unlocked. That's usually a sign that no one's home.

You follow in behind him, holding your knife up as you scan the place. The two of you enter through a tight hallway, passing the kitchen until you come to a small living room. Your eyes widen when you both notice the lit fireplace, telling you that someone's either here or has been recently.

"Shit.. Daryl, we gotta go." You whisper.

"Go wait outside, gonna grab a couple things. Didn't come all the way here for nothin'." He says and you try to argue but he cuts you off. "Go. Be right behind ya."

You kiss him before tiptoeing through the house and finding the front door, quietly pushing it open and closing it shut behind you. You turn, instantly colliding with a tall hard figure.

"Hey sweetheart." The familiar voice makes your mouth drop open as you look up at him, seeing him grin down at you. "God I fuckin' missed ya."

tagging my babies: (lemme know if u wanna be added) @loganlostitall @chaospossum @negansbabydoll66 @redqueenphoenix @n3g5nx @crustyweirdo @youngpersonaathletebear @sadgirlzluvdilfs @ilovebill-and-gustav @neganscumbucket @manipulatorpoem @im-a-goddamn-cat @raininhell @mahogany-cherry-wine @daryldixmedown@munsonslovergirl @sanctuaryforthelost @thelauraborealis @carlgrimesbbg @c3linesworld @blueheisenbergtragedy @dekuumademecumm

[deansapplepie]

Till THE DEAD do us part | Chapter 5

A/N: This story will take place in all the seasons, but it’s not exactly a rewriting cause I’d have to re-watch everything to use the exactly lines of the characters, also I think it’s better if I tell a side story without changing the main facts of the story.

This story has a Female Reader, but I don’t describe her appearance, so anyone can identify with her.

Chapter 4 Chapter 6

Chapter 5: We’re all gonna die

Summary: The group needs to leave the CDC in a hurry, they find a place to stay the night and head to Fort Benning in the other day. But if Y/N knew something is that if it was bad, it could become worse.

Warnings: swearing, little angsty, fluffy, nightmares, violence, mentions of death, mentions of a possible rapist (coughshanecough), a child get lost, blood (?), pinkies. Minors do not interact.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Grimes!Reader (Rick’s Sister)

Word Count: 4,016

Extra notes: I proofread the text, but English is not my first language, so feel free to correct any mistakes, of course with love. I’m consulting a timeline of everything that happened, but it can happen that I put events out of order, but I don’t think it’ll make much difference in the story. ALSO, I’m praying my Daryl isn’t too out of character.

You woke up with Luna scratching the door, probably someone was already up and she wanted to leave, see the person and play around. You got up and told her to wait. You went to the bathroom, brushed your teeth, washed your face and brushed your hair… it was kind of still humid when you went to sleep, so at the moment you could just say it was a mess. You changed your sleeping clothes into your ‘daily life I need to run if shit happens’ clothes and finally opened the door so Luna could leave. She went straight to Glenn and T.Dog that were talking in the corridor, Gleen looked awful.

“Good morning boys!” You said while approaching them.

“I’m never. NEVER. Drinking again.” Glenn stated, face contorted and hand on his stomach.

“That’s what we all say. You’ll drink again eventually and be hangover too. But with the time you get better at it.” T.Dog tried encouraging.

“I’m serious, I’m not putting alcohol in my mouth again.”

“Poor baby, I feel sorry for you. But well, world is ending and now you can at least say that you already got drunk and hangover once.” You hugged him sideways. At the same time it was bad to see the younger man in this situation, it was also a little bit funny to see him having this experience.

You let both of them go to the kitchen to have breakfast, you wanted to have breakfast too, but before you wanted to say hello to your family and seek some hugs. You liked hugs, specially in the morning. When you were little you would hug all your family in the morning, or at least the ones you had close so you could hug. At Uni, it would be your friends or your boyfriend that at the time thought you were too clingy, and when you received Luna as a gift, and were living alone, she would be the ‘person’ you would be hugging every morning. You also liked hugs during the day, but in this world you didn’t have time for this, and also you knew that most of people didn’t like to be hugged all the time.

When you was on your way to your family’s room, you encountered Lori. She looked terrible, and she didn’t drink that much. She saw you and tried to put a smile in her face. You just went to her and gave her a hug, this hug would be because of your necessity to hug people, but in the moment you knew she was the one that needed that hug.

“What happened? No offense, but you look like shit and I know you didn���t drink that much.” You asked leaving the embrace but still close and caressing her shoulders. “Did Rick and you have a fight? Do you want me to kick his ass?”

“He… he didn’t do anything. We’re fine. I’m fine. Don’t worry.” But you couldn’t not worry when your sister in law looked like she had been crying all night long. Would it be possible that Shane didn’t listen to your advice? You knew Lori was trying to distance from him, even if in the wrong way and even if the best thing to do in the moment was for both of them to sit and have a talk with Rick. But you knew she was trying.

“Of course I worry. We’re sisters. If it was Shane…” Before you said what you wanted to say Carl left the room and you had to stop talking. “Good morning little man!” You said and soon embraced him.

“Good morning Aunt Y/N, did you sleep well?” He asked after your embrace.

“Yeah, and you?”

“Me too, It was so good to sleep on a good place after so long.” Even the kids knew how to appreciate the comfort you all lose.

Rick apparently was knocked out, you didn’t blame him… he was the one that drank the most. Lori was going to wake him up, so you decided to go have your breakfast, siblings morning hug could wait. You took Carl with you, followed by Luna that would smell everything along the way. When you were close to the kitchen she ran lefting both of you behind.

“I think Luna can already smell the breakfast.” Carl commented, you laughed that was pobrably true.

When you arrived to the kitchen you discovered the true reason that she ran. Him. Daryl Dixon. And probably he was the reason why she started to scratch the door to go out making you wake up. ‘Are you in love with him Luna?’ You thought, because seamed that even your dog had a crush on the man. Talking about him, you hoped it would not be weird between you two today, because you would hate yourself for it. But he made a pinky promise, right? And he was not happy about making it, so he’s probably going to comply with it.

“Morning everyone!” You said once you were in the kitchen. Glenn had his face on the table hid by his arms and mumbled something incomprehensible, Sophia answered back, as did Carol.

“Mornin’” Daryl replied from where he was being overwhelmed by Luna’s love.

“I think that’s it, I’m gonna give her to you. It’s clear now that she likes you better.” You declared, he just mumbled something face getting tinted in red at your sight remembering the last night.

“You can’t give the gifts you receive to others, Y/N/N.” Shane complained playfully entering the room. Luna was a gift from him and Rick, like many other things you had. He came to you and hugged you, giving a kiss on the top of your head. “Good morning.”

“Morning…” you replied appreciating the hug. Now that you were on good therms again both of you felt comfortable about it. “But look at her Shane, she obviously doesn’t like me anymore.”

“Don’t be dramatic.” He said pulling away from the hug. You looked at him and saw a bruise on his face and neck, like someone scratched him pretty bad. ‘Shane… what kind of stupid shit did you do?’, you thought to yourself.

“What is this?” You asked pointing at him.

“Er… I think I scratched myself while sleeping, I woke up and was like this.” He gave the excuse, you didn’t believe, but you would not make a scene right now.

You sat on the table and ate your breakfast in silence, thinking about everything and trying to put the pieces together and you were not liking the path your thoughts were going, because the pieces you put together told you Shane was a rapist and you could not conceive the fact that maybe he tried to force Lori to something. You got chills at the thought, but was soon distracted when your brother entered the room.

“You look like shit.” You blurted your thoughts without thinking much.

“Good morning for you too, wanna know something? It feels like shit too.” He came to you and you hugged his waist not worrying about getting up from your chair.

During the breakfast Dale questioned Jenner about the things you needed to know, he was not wrong you really were there for answers. Jenner took you to the control room and asked the virtual assistant to play for you one of their experiments and you could see a person dying and reanimating afterwards. At the same time it was shocking, it was very impressive to see the human brain functioning.

In a short time you also discovered that your time in the CDC was getting short, you were going to get short on air, electricity and the whole building would go on flames. Like, how could he let this out and tell nobody the day before? You ran to take all your things from the rooms and get out of there as fast as possible, but the doors were closed and chaos was everywhere, some tried to break the doors, others tried to convince Jenner to open the goddamn door. And Jenner revealed to everybody that Rick thought it was a question of time for all of you to be dead.

“And he didn’t lie smart pants, we’re probably all gonna die soon or later, but we don’t wanna die right now so open the fucking door” you had already lost your patience and were considering if beating his ass wasn’t a so bad alternative.

You don’t know exactly how, but Rick convinced Jenner to open the door. The son of a bitch could open the door all this time! Jacqui decided to stay and there wasn’t much you could do about it. You tried to convince her, but nothing worked. Andrea also decided to stay and Dale stayed to try convincing her, you were not going to wait and see the results. You grabed your things and Luna’s harness and ran as fast as you could to the exit.

When you got to the exit you couldn’t leave using the door, the only way was a big glass in the building that apparently was bulletproof cause it was very resistant. To your lucky Carol had found a granade in Rick’s clothes while washing it and you couldn’t be more grateful about it. All of you shielded behind some stairs, Daryl “hugged” you kind of shielding you and Luna from anything and the granade exploded breaking the glass. As soon as the glass was broken Rick commanded everyone to go and leave. You saw all the glass on the floor and you couldn’t possible let Luna step on them. You tried to carry her with much difficulty, she was a big dog, even for a female. Daryl was almost jumping outside when he turned and saw you struggling to carry the dog.

“Come on! Hurry up!” He said a little pissed, a little nervous and a little angry too.

“I’m going I can’t let her step in the glass!” You stated. He grunted and came to you taking Luna from you, he carried her fast and easily to the “exit” what helped you being faster too.

“After all this shit, you better fucking obey me.” He said to the german shepherd putting her on the ground, taking your pulse and running to the cars.

As soon as you got to the car he opened the door, You entered it and next thing you knew he was telling you to get down, his body pressed on yours and an enormous explosion was heard.

His face was hidden on your neck, you could feel his warm breath and you couldn’t help but remember from the last night. You were feeling like a teenager full of hormones again. After some moment he raised his face and looked at you.

“Are ya alright?” He asked looking at your face. “Sorry if I crushed ya.”

“I’m fine. It’s okay, thanks for the help.” You answered, before you could do anything Luna, that was on the truck’s floor, licked Daryl’s face with no warning.

“Not my mouth Luna!” He complained, you couldn’t resist but laugh.

“I think we can get up D.” You said still laying in the car seat with him on top of you.

“Er… yeah, sure. It’s true.” He got up, opened the car door so you two could organize things to leave and for a moment you contemplated all the destruction that explosion caused.

Soon Dale and Andrea could be seen and you were glad that they could make it in time. First thing you decided to leave the place, you could decide were to go after it. You stopped at the Vatos’ place, you didn’t know this place, but it looks like Glenn, Daryl, T.Dog and Rick ran through it last time they were in Atlanta.

When you entered the place it was clearly abandoned, but soon you discovered dead bodies, some where shoot and others stabbed. You don’t know how Andrea could think hey were dead by walkers, it made no sense. That was cruel. All those elderly people executed.

“They were good people.” Rick sadly told you. “They tried to appear tough so other would not harm them… It looks like it didn’t last for a long time.”

He told you how they cared for these elderly people that were abandoned to die by the ones that took care of them. It was incredibly touching all the history and sad how it ended. Sometimes, you thought if this world were a place for good people.

You needed a place to stay, so you found an empty room so you all could pass the night before heading to Fort Benning. The room would be crowded for all of you, but at least would be sure everyone was safe. Daryl offered to take the first watch, sitting by the window. You chose a spot in the back of the room to put your sleeping bag and take some rest.

Hands. Dead hands. Grabing you. Pulling you. You fought against them, but they were too many. You had no weapons. Nothing. You tried, but you couldn’t fight longer and when you gave up fighting you were bitten, once you felt the stabbing pain, you woke up. Fighting for air. A burning sensation on your chest. Fuck. You hated nightmares, and since the world ended you had plenty of them. You sat and looked around for Luna, she was nowhere close to you and now you could use some cuddle with her.

In the dark room you could see Daryl’s silhouette at the window, and now you had an idea where Luna could be. You got up and approached the archer.

“Go to sleep, I’ll take watch now.” You said sitting by the other side of the window.

“Nah, not happening. My watch’s not over and T.Dog said he was taking next watch.” Anyone else would gladly go to sleep and let you on watch, but ‘Daryl’s fucking stubborn’ you thought.

“I’m not sleeping now, so you could use some sleep.” You stated and focused your attention on the window.

“Was it bad?” He asked and for a second you didn’t understand. “The nightmare.” He knew you had one, even in the dark he could see your sleep was not a peaceful one.

“Yep.” You gave a short answer, funny because most of the time you did all the conversation and Daryl didn’t have to talk much.

“Do ya really think we’re all gonna die?” Yes, you really thought, and that terrified you. You were afraid of dying, but you were absolutely scared of everyone you cared about dying and being left alone. So, you were terrified and also a little selfish for not thinking about how the others would be if you died first.

“Eventually? Yes. We’re out numbered.” You said, you just didn’t know when or how, but the odds were not on your favor. “I-I don’t wanna die.” You confessed, just because you thought everyone was going to die, it didn’t mean you were not afraid of dying. “And I don’t want neither of you to die.”

He could give you any harsh answer. He did got mad back at the CDC when he heard Rick said everyone was going to die and he also get pissed when you said he didn’t lie. But he could see you were frightened. He hated to show weakness, he was taught he couldn’t be weak. You were usually strong, of course you were very emotional like most women, but you were different… you knew how to fight, you’d kill walkers and not be afraid to protect the people you cared. Eventhough the first connection you made you were in a vulnerable moment, he could see your strength. So he could not bring himself to lose his temper with you at this moment. Also the fact that if your conversation got heated you would wake everyone up, helped a little.

“Don’t think about it. We’re gonna survive. We’re gonna fight. I can’t say that we aren’t gonna die, but we’re gonna be a pain in the ass of death, cause she’s gonna have to work her ass to kill us.” You thought this was the time he had most talked in all the time you knew him, it was not typical from him to talk much. “Ya aren’t giving up. Ya aren’t gonna stop fighting. Promise me.”

“Are you really asking me to make a promise?” You asked incredulously, he was so resistant to make a promise to you the day before. You were almost incapable to hold a laugh when you saw his hand in front of you with his pinky raised.

“C’mon, I don’t have the whole night.”

“Ok, I promise. I’m not giving up or gonna stop fighting.” You linked you pinky with his and sealed with your thumbs.

Daryl got up and went to T.Dog, waking him up to take the watch. He came at you and said: “Let’s sleep.”

“I’m not sleeping D.” You tried to say, you couldn’t dare closing your eyes and seeing the horrible scene from your nightmare.

“The watch is mine Y/N/N, you can go to sleep.” T.Dog said taking the place near the window.

“C’mon” Daryl called you again.

You followed him to the spot where you were sleeping previously he dropped his sleeping bag on the side of yours and gestured for you to lay down to sleep. You laid turned to his side, he had his back on the floor and stared at the ceiling, but he could feel your eyes on him.

“Go to sleep.” He whispered turning to you.

“I can’t, I feel that I’m gonna be there again if I close my eyes…” you didn’t need to say much, he knew you were talking about the nightmare.

“Ya’re not there. Ya here. I’m here.” He said and what he did next you didn’t expect. His hand went to yours and he intertwined your pinkies. And you could not help but feel a warm feeling in your heart. “Now, let’s sleep.”

The next morning you woke up with Luna licking all of your face. You tried protecting your face, but she wasn’t going to give up. You sat and didn’t saw Daryl by your side anymore. Everyone was getting ready to leave, so you had to do the same.

When everyone was ready a discussion about having less cars started, it was agreed that it would be better to economize fuel. You’d only remain with Carol’s Cherokee, the RV and Merle’s bike, that was now Daryl’s. You’d be all crushed in the cars, butyou had to make choices.

You were already leaving the room when Daryl stopped you. “I think it’s better if you go with Rick. The bike isn’t very comfortable for 2 during a long trip.” You should have seen it coming, but well… he was kind of right.

“Sure, no problem.” You smiled, he wasn’t wrong but you couldn’t help feeling upset. You liked travelling with him. “I’m sure Luna and me can fit well on the back of the Cherokee.”

Rick made sure to make some space for you in the back of the cherokee and you sat back there while Luna sniffed everything.

“Can I go in the back with you Aunt Y/N?” Carl asked you by time he entered the car.

“Sorry Carl, there’s no room for you AND it’s safer where you are.” You said, there was room and you knew he would play that card, he was a smart kid, so you played the “safe” card before he could come with something smart.

The rest of the car trip was uneventful, that is until you came to a huge block on the road made by several abandoned vehicles. You tried going until the radiator hose of the RV broke. You all got out of the cars and decided to look infor supplies or anything useful. You found some snacks, headache pills and a kitchen knife. Not much to be honest. You thought you’d be more successful looking for fuel and car parts.

You gave up and went to Daryl and T.Dog, to help and learn how to siphon fuel. You could be alone anytime and need it, so it was a useful thing to know. Then you heard Rick telling everyone to hide, a herd was coming. Fuck. Where were you supposed to hide with a fucking gigantic dog and at the same time make the dog quiet?

You brought Luna behind a van that was kind of transversal on the road and had concrete blocking on the other side you sat there on the floor and put the harness around Luna’s mouth hopping it would be enough to make her quiet until the herd passed. Memories of your nightmare came to your mind and you tried to calm yourself and your breathing, that wasn’t a good time to panic. They were passing while you prayed for whatever was out there that they would not see you. You were well hidden but if one of them tripped and fall on you, you were doomed for sure.

As soon as all of them were gone, Daryl came to find you. “Are ya ok?” You got up and nodded, but he knew you were far from ok, you were shaking.

Soon you heard a commotion and ran back to where everyone was. Sophia had run to the woods followed by walkers. Shit. If it could get worse, it would get worse. Carol was despaired and when Rick came back without the little girl she cried even more. Lori and you hugged her trying to reassure that they would find her. “Daryl is the best tracker, he’ll find her.” You said while rubbing her back.

T.Dog had an ugly cut on his arm, you take a first aid kit to clean it and cover. You were a doc after all, an animal doc, but nobody could ask much during the apocalipse, and you knew how to properly disinfect the wound. “Wow, it looks bad. I think you need stiches, but we also don’t have anything to do this. Some antibiotics would do good.” You commented while cleaning the wound and preparing to bandage it.

“It’s gonna be ok, I’m tough. Don’t worry.” He say, but you knew you all should worry and take a look on him from time to time, because if he had fever the chances of it going really wrong were big.

When Daryl and Rick came back without Sophia it was heartbreaking. They said they encountered a walker and they killed and opened it to make sure it didn’t kill or ate Sophia. Just imagining gave you chills. Carol blamed Rick for leaving the girl alone while he was actually trying to save her. You couldn’t blame Carol for her reaction, but you couldn’t blame your brother either. It was not his fault, it wasn’t Sophia’s fault too.

Soon all of you went to sleep with the promise to find Sophia in the morning. You laid with Luna and Carl in the back of the Cherokee and while they slept peacefully you couldn’t dare to allow yourself to sleep… until your eyes closed and you did.

Final Note: Thanks for everyone reading, liking, reblogging and commenting, it’s really good to receive your feedback.

Taglist: @sunnybunnyy2

[gavisuntiedboot]

Just Pretend (Gavi x reader)

Part 5

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Epilogue

Warnings: SMUT!! MDNI or if you're uncomfortable! Profanity!! Swearing!! Ferran and Martin (based on the reactions I think they deserve their own warning)!!

Word Count: 11.2K (fun fact! If you've read the whole story, you've read 46 pages!)

A/N: I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, BUT THERE'S A LOT I WANTED TO INCLUDE IN THIS PART (AS YOU CAN TELL BY THE WORD COUNT)

[Incoming Facetime call from: Gavi]

"Gavi, you're going to have to learn to live without seeing my face 24/7. I don't want you experiencing withdrawal symptoms while I sleep."

"I just had a question about- is that a jar of pickles?"

"Yes. I felt like having a snack."

"You're disgusting."

"Listen, I brought several things back from university life in America, and a pickle addiction was one of them. Let me have little joys in life. What did you call me for? Besides to shame me for my midnight guilty pleasures?"

This was the 7th time in two weeks that Gavi had Facetimed you at odd hours. After your little heart-to-heart while drunk in the club, and him covering for you at work the next morning, he caved into the impulsive thoughts and called you, wanting to make sure you were okay.

"Gavi it's 10pm. If you want me to help you hide a body, call me during working hours."

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding at the sound of your voice. You were okay. Like actually okay. All of the distress in your voice, the shakiness, the panic - it had all disappeared. You were back to your cool self, and it filled him with a warm and gooey sense of relief. He kept you on the phone for about 10 minutes before his internal monologue told him it was enough, and he went to bed with a strange tightness in his chest.

For the first three weeks, it had been strictly texts and phone calls. Gavi was still sending you his daily little updates, some relevant, most not.

[Gavi]: Compression socks are really tight on my shins. Feels like they're cutting off my blood flow.

[Gavi]: pedri keeps telling me to eat bananas to help with my back cramps. Fact or cap?

[Gavi]: saw someone on tiktok make a Joao Felix thirst trap. Anything you want to confess?

This texting remained constant, and then he supplemented with phone calls. After the check-up call, he had to find new excuses to call you. He started scheduling his early-morning sessions over the phone instead of over text, asking about your life in the meantime. He started "forgetting" things in your office, calling to tell you he would be there before practice to pick them up. It hadn't annoyed you, per se, but confused you. Why was Gavi so comfortable calling you and just talking about random things on the phone? Initially, you had joked with him to stop calling you so frequently.

"Gavi, personal number. Personal. You should keep all work related stuff to emails only. I don't get paid to listen to you ramble about Game of Thrones."

"I know you well enough by now to know that if you didn't want to hear my voice, you would hang up."

He wasn't exactly wrong. You were not one to shy away from hanging up in someone's face if you were irritated (you had done it to Ferran the one time he called you from Gavi's phone). You also didn't really have anyone else to talk to. Angelika, despite acting unemployed, worked for a design house in the city, and her designs had been approved as part of the new line. She now spent every waking moment working on the spring/summer collection that needed to be shown in February. She had even stopped bugging you to go to the club. The only times you heard from her were when she sent "Hey I'm alive just busy" texts, or on the weekends when she begged you to drive her to the far fabric stores. There weren't many other people that you wanted to talk to. Your friends in the US were several hours behind. Your friends in Barcelona were kind of exhausting, and not who you wanted to hear from after a long day of work. And Martin?

Martin was ... interesting. You definitely liked being with him in person. Your dinners were romantic. Martin always picked you up and took you to the nicest restaurant, allowing you to order the expensive plates that would actually make you full. He always complimented your dress and your eyes and the way you looked despite having a long day at work. He was a theoretical great boyfriend. You liked going out with him every 3-4 days. You liked getting good morning and good night texts and the hot pre-game selfies whenever you checked your phone between shifts at work. But in those late nights when you were bored and lonely, and your TV shows were all boring you, Martin was not the first person you thought of calling.

While he was great over dinner, he wasn't the most entertaining or comforting presence. He had a habit of downplaying a lot of the things you were feeling or going through.

"Baby, people make sexual comments all the time. Just look at how people on Twitter talk about the players. You should be more flattered than anything that he complimented your ass."

That was the last time you ever called him after a long and tiring day of work. Your text messages were filled with only pleasant conversations. A good goal he scored in practice. Praise you received from the rest of the medical staff for your progress. Never your frustration with your job or your life or the sad boring things that regular, not famous not football players went through.

"It's like 7pm this is not a midnight snack."

The sound of Gavi's voice brought you back from your abstract thoughts. You looked at his face lit up on the screen. His hair was a little wild and still slightly damp from his shower. He was in a white t-shirt that hugged his shoulders. He placed his phone down so that he could show you his complaint.

"Remember how we were talking about my knee and thigh tightness? I've been trying to work out the muscle for a while but it's not helping."

He moved back from the camera, letting his black gym shorts and legs come in to the frame. He lifted his left short leg, showing off the pronounced muscles in his thigh. You brought the phone a little closer to your face, focusing on his leg. He flexed the muscle, and you swallowed hard. You had seen some of the best legs in football laying in front of you - so why was Gavi's slightly blurry form on FaceTime overwhelming you?

"Have you been doing the routine I gave you to improve blood flow? It looks like you haven't."

"It's hard to do! I tried multiple times and I'm just in pain every time. We just have a match tomorrow and like it's kind of uncomfortable. It's fine I can just play through it if you don't have any other recommendations."

This made you sit up. If there was one thing that would get both of you in deep shit, it was Gavi playing through a known and documented discomfort.

"You're not going to do that. If you get injured during the match then I-"

"Awe doctora, you're concerned about me getting injured?"

He got up close to the camera, smiling cheekily and feigning shyness. You rolled your eyes.

"If you get injured in the match I will get in trouble because your muscle tightness is in your file. So you have two options: do the blood flow massage I told you to, or I need to email Xavi now and tell him you should be playing a maximum of 60 minutes in tomorrow's match."

This statement made Gavi sober up, looking instantly more serious.

"We're not telling Mister Xavi anything. I actually don't know how to do the blood flow stuff without feeling like I'm peeling off my own skin."

"Would it kill you not to play all 90 minutes tomorrow?"

"Yes." There was not one indication, neither in his tone or on his face, that he was kidding. Gavi's love for football was evident, but it was deeper than most people saw. Barca wasn't just his club - it was the air he breathed, the blood in his veins. It was his family, his brotherhood since he was a child. It was the greatest love he had ever experienced, and he was honestly willing to lay his life down if it meant making Mister and the boys proud. He would die for this club.

"You know what doctora? You can just do it for me tomorrow morning before the match."

"You can't play right after we literally batter your muscles to increase blood flow. You have to do it within the next few hours to have enough time to rest. I wish you told me this morning, I could have..." Your sentence trailed as you looked at your front door. Your car keys were sitting in the dish. You had been thinking about going out to get some dinner, too tired to wait for chicken to defrost.

"Hello? Can you focus on the crisis at hand instead of daydreaming?"

"What if I came over and did it for you now?"

Gavi's eyes got wide and he stared at his screen. He was trying to process the information that had just slithered into his brain. You? At his house? At night? Alone???

"Wait." He said, and then hung up the call. You looked at your screen in confusion.

He stabilized his hands enough to find the contact.

*Calling: ~banana king pepi~ *

"Pick up pick up pick up pick up-"

"Hello?"

"Help. Me."

Pedri paused his game, much to the dismay of his brother, who was about to score a virtual goal.

"Pablo I know you didn't go to regular school, but you should know that in an emergency you should call the police."

"Y/n asked to come to my house."

Pedri bit back a laugh, removing the controller from his lap and putting the call on speaker so Fernando could be a part of the drama.

"You finally confessed that you're in love with her and want to kick her boyfriend's teeth in?"

"I'm not in love with her, we're just friends. That second part you might be right about." Gavi summarized your reasons for coming over quickly, asking Pedri for some sage advice while he and Fer raised their eyebrows at each other in amusement.

"As long as you have condoms, invite her over Hermano."

"I don't like her like that."

"Then why are you nervous about her coming to your place?" That was a good question. He didn't know why the idea of seeing you outside of work put all his internal systems on high alert, but it did. His hands were sweating at the prospect of opening the door and seeing you standing there in something other than scrubs.

"I'm not. I'm just going to tell her to come over. No need to make a big deal about it."

"Have fun Pablito." Fernando chimed in. Gavi scoffed and hung up. He called you once again.

"Where did you go?"

"Pedri called me to make sure we were going to the stadium together tomorrow. So, are you going to come here?"

"You never gave me an address. Or a yes for that matter." You laughed out. Your heart beat began to pick up. Did Gavi not want you at his place? Did he have another girl there? 'Why would he be calling you if another girl was there?' I don't know, brain, men are weird.

"Oh. Yeah. Yes. To coming over. I want you to. I'll text you the address right now." Something in your chest tightened at this statement. Your phone dinged, and you looked at the address Gavi had sent you.

"Cool. I'll be there in 20."

The drive to Gavi's place was calm. Old One Direction played over your car's aging speakers. The chilly night air came through the rolled down windows, winter finally making its first appearances in the middle of November. As you got closer to your destination, the surroundings started to look familiar.

Gavi was looking at the street from the window of his bedroom. In his La Masia shirt and black shorts, he had perched for all 18 minutes that it took you to drive over, right after he tidied the house. He didn't want you to think he was a teenage slob. If Gavi really thought about it, he would have admitted: all he wanted was for you to respect him - see him as a man. Someone put together and capable.

You parked at the bottom of his building, texting that you had arrived. He tried not to, but he ran down the whole staircase, swinging the door open before you had gotten out of the car.

"Hey. You know you live like walking distance from Martin?" You said, approaching the front door. Gavi's face soured at this news. He was never subtle about his distaste for Martin. After that night at the club, he had made it very obvious that he thought you should break up with Martin, or at least give him a stern talking to for leaving you to stumble around drunk and alone - especially since he was the one forcing drinks on you.

"Wonderful. I'll make sure to go and give him a nice neighborly gift."

"Like what? A black eye?"

"I was just thinking of pissing in his bushes but now that you mention it I really do think "bruised" is a good look on him..." He lifted his hand to his chin to look like he was thinking. You shoved him off balance, walking towards the door.

"Lets go, Gavi. I get cranky if I don't get all my beauty sleep."

He walked into the house first, holding the door open for you. You were honestly impressed: the place did not look like a teenager's house. The bottom floor was a spacious living room and dining room, with the kitchen connected by a low wall. The tan walls had vintage Barca and Spain National Team posters hung on them. There was a large TV mounted on the wall, a PS5 placed on the shelf beneath it, a pile of games stacked high. His couch was a long L shape. black leather wrapping around a black coffee table.

"You have a Barca coffee table book?" You asked, giggling slightly as you picked up the massive picture book.

"I've been with the club since I was like 11. Everything I own I have it in Barca colors."

You looked over at the stairs and the soft glow from the top of them. Something in you was dying to know what Gavi's bedroom looked like. How many hoodies he owned, what color his sheets were, how many pillows he slept on...

You shook yourself from this line of thinking. Despite the two of you getting closer and friendlier, Gavi was still technically just your coworker. You shouldn't want to know all these things about him.

"Ok where is the stone I gave you?" You put your hand out expectantly, and he dropped the black massage gua sha in it. Gavi moved to lay on the couch, mimicking what he would do in your office.

"Before you sit down, what have you been using as lubricant?"

He snapped his head at you, cheeks and the tips of his ears turning pink.

"I, I, um, lub- why do you need to know what kind of lubricant I use? That's a really personal question?"

You stared at him in confusion, wondering why he had gotten shy and stuttery at the question.

"So I can use that lubricant on you now?" He stood up, swallowing hard. He took several deep breaths before saying:

"y/n, I didn't invite you here to do anything sexual. If this is a joke that Pedri asked you to play it's-"

"Pablo you brainless bitch. I meant what have you been using as massage lubricant, because you're not supposed to scrape the stone across your dry skin."

You both stared at each other for a long moment. You had one brow raised, smirk playing on your lips. You were holding back a laugh at the thought: Gavi was thinking you wanted to know what he used to jerk off. Or sleep with someone. That second thought made you slightly nauseous. Gavi's eyes were wide, his mouth still open in shock. You had the courage to speak first.

"I see that the reason you have been feeling pain is because you have been giving yourself microabruises. Go get some oil or lotion so I can do this for you, and I expect my gas money in full tomorrow on my desk."

"Can you, uh, turn around?"

"Why?"

"I don't... I don't want you seeing where I got the lotion from."

"See now Pablo, if you had just gone upstairs, I would have thought it was from the cabinet or the bathroom. But since you've made it weird, you've confirmed that it's from your bedside table. Just go before you make this situation more sexually awkward."

“No but I-“

You held up one finger to your lips to silence him, then pointed in the direction of the stairs. He shuffled past you awkwardly and then took off, taking the stairs two at a time. You laughed to yourself. It was always funny seeing glimpses of innocence and youth in Gavi, especially since he was always pushing himself to act older and more mature.

Pablo was not having a good time. He ran to his bathroom to splash cold water on his now violently blushing face. He thought you would be able to see the mess of clothes in his bedroom if he opened the door. Now the conversation had shifted into an oddly sexual realm, and he didn’t know how to deal. The idea of sex didn’t usually embarrass him - it bothered him when the guys would talk about nothing else, but he thought he had finally reached a level of maturity where he could say “pussy” and not giggle. So why was he so damn shy right now? Why was he embarrassed to his core that you had mentioned him jerking off?

Pablo would describe his masturbatory habits as efficient. Once he and his teammates at La Masía turned 14, the medical staff had all sat them down for “the talk”. Obviously there was the parental stuff about safe sex and all that, but from a sports aspect he knew: sexual frustration is bad for performance. So a couple nights a week he would rub one out hoping to ensure optimal performance. Lately, however, he has lessened his “alone time” significantly. Since Ferran had shown him that picture of you, since he started daydreaming about holding your hand, the feel of your skin, he was borderline afraid to jerk off. He didn’t want to see your face. Coming to terms with the fact that he liked your company was already too overwhelming. Pablo was convinced this was a waiting game: you were just new and exciting. Eventually he would see another picture of another girl, and you would go back to “that one girl physio”, and he could jerk in peace.

He came back downstairs, sheepishly handing you a tube of lotion, and then quickly laying on the couch, hoping to avoid your line of sight.

“Lotion for Men? Gavi, you know that your skin won’t melt off it the product doesn’t say ‘for men’ right?”

“We had a media intern last year that saw a tube of strawberry chapstick in my bag, and she sent the picture to 3 or 4 gossip instagram pages, saying ‘look! Stuff for women! Gavi has a girlfriend!’ So now I only use stuff that can’t be mistaken as something for my nonexistent girlfriend.”

“What if they think you have a boyfriend instead?”

“That might be ideal actually. Then maybe I could go home without being mobbed.”

You smiled at Gavi, who was now more relaxed and far less red. His arms were crossed behind his head, legs stretched out and shorts rolled up slightly so you could access the upper parts of his thighs. You placed some lotion on his legs and began rubbing it in.

“Wow. Does the rest of the team know you offer private massage services?” He asked, resting his head and looking up at the ceiling.

“Obviously not. You think Ferran would ever leave me alone if he knew this was an option?”

Gavi laughed loudly at this. Watching you reject and diss Ferran on an almost daily basis was the highlight of training. Sometimes your responses were so creative that he would run to write them down before the end of the break. His personal favorite was when Ferran asked when you two were finally going to go on a date, and you replied with ‘After my lobotomy next week so my brain is immune to mind numbing conversation with you’.

But as he looked down at you, Pablo noticed that your face was twisted in distain. You began moving the stone around his thighs, working in sweeping downward motions. The frown lines etched hard into your skin, eyes narrowed in concentration and slight disgust.

“Does Ferran make you uncomfortable?”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“So the answer is yes he does.” Gavi’s voice was lowering with genuine concern. He and the team, the coaches, and even the rest of the physical staff only really laughed at or brushed off your daily interactions with the player. He hadn’t realized how deeply the comments were bothering you. But now it was evident as you swallowed and started working his thigh a little harder.

“I don’t want to speak ill of your friend.”

“If he’s bothering you, you should have told me. Or someone else on the team. We could have made him stop.”

“But why wasn’t me telling him I didn’t like it enough to make him stop?”

You pressed harder into Gavi now, stone running alone the muscles in his calf. You should have been using a lighter hand, but emotion you had been suppressing for months was all bubbling to the surface.

“You’re going kind of hard on my leg…”

“Why does it have to be you or Xavi or Dr. Gonzalez? Why do my words hold so little weight? So little value?”

“Okay this is painful now-“

“Why does it have to be one of you to say ‘hey, you shouldn’t make sexual remarks to someone on staff’? You think he tells anyone else their ass looks good in scrubs? Or that he’s glad their office has a door with a lock? No. It’s just me. Because I’m a girl he can talk about fucking me in broad daylight around the whole squad, and I have to shut up and keep him happy or I lose my job. It’s just so-“

“Ay fuck y/n!” Gavi yelled out, grabbing your wrist and tugging it forcefully to get you to stop your abuse on his leg. You grabbed his other thigh with your free hand, digging your fingers into the flesh. He looked you in the eyes, and finally noticed the tears starting to form.

“I know how you feel.”

"No you fucking don't, Pablo!" You yelled back, hand digging into his thigh, the other still in his grasp. This is when the first tear finally fell. I had been weighing on you for weeks - the slow realization that you were never going to respected in the way you deserved. A part of you knew that Martin was contributing to this burden as well. The arch of his brow when you talked about sports medicine terms, the mocking smile that played on his lips. The way he had adopted Ferran's disgusting little pet name of 'nurse'. You were disintegrating from the inside, and knowing that the others thought it was a joke, that Pablo thought it was a joke, was the final straw.

Gavi could do nothing but stare. His eyes softened, taking in your slumped form. It was like watching Hercules fall to his knees. Like watch the stars were falling from the sky and hitting the Earth in a fiery blaze. Watching you, who was normally so cool, so confident, so self assured, shake with silent tears was breaking something in Gavi. The way you said his name made his heart physically ache. You rarely diverted from his nickname to use his first name. 'When you did, it usually indicated a serious tone 'Pablo' meant there was something serious, something heavy. Now that heaviness was against your throat, suffocating you, and you were tired of carrying it.

Gavi stopped thinking. He acted on impulse only. He tugged the wrist that was in his hand, pulling you in. Your head met with his hard chest, and you felt one arm circle your shoulder. You remained like this for a long moment: up against Gavi, his arm pressing you into his chest, his shirt soaking up the wetness on your cheeks.

"'m sorry. I wont let him talk to you that way anymore."

You composed yourself, pushing yourself off Gavi and wiping your eyes. You looked away, embarrassed that you'd made him comfort you - that you'd broken down in front of him.

"It's okay. I can deal with Ferran."

"But you shouldn't have to."

"It's not your job to protect me, Pablo."

You finished the rest of your job in silence. Your fingers moved expertly around his skin, working out the muscle and pressing into his flesh, a soft gasp or hiss from Gavi being the only sound to fill the room. Your anger was irrational, but you couldn't quell it. You had gotten this far in life without the protection or defense of anyone, and you weren't prepared to be coddled now. You finished quickly, wiping your hands on your pant legs and moving to grab your bag.

"I'm going to go now. Get some sleep for tomorrow's match against Betis. Good night." You tried to walk past Gavi without looking up, but he blocked your path.

"You're in my way."

"You're not leaving while you're upset."

"You want me to stop being upset? Stop pretending you give a shit about my feelings. You want to look like a man? Telling off Ferran so people think you're a good person?" You shoved past Gavi once again, and once again he moved in front of you, blocking the door completely.

"Just because you're older than me doesn't mean I'll let you disrespect me in my own house. I'm not pretending to give a shit. I do give about your comfort and your feelings because last I check, we're friends. I've been waiting to break Ferran's shins for weeks, I've just been waiting for you to say so."

"You think it would make me feel better for you to hurt a teammate? Could you be any more juvenile?"

Gavi took a step towards you, arms crossed over his chest, breathing more heavy. He looked you straight in the eye, not allowing you to break from the gaze.

"You can yell at me all you want. You can be angry at the fact that I care about you. You can punch me," he hit on his chest, "right here if you want to. But I am not a child. Don't refer to me as one. So you can go an be upset and pretend that everything I do is selfish, but you know deep down that no matter how much you push me away, I'm looking out for your best interest." He opened the door and stepped aside.

"Drive safely, doctora."

You walked to your car, turning to gaze at Gavi, who leaned against the door frame, watching you intently. You were the most confusing person he had ever met. You were stubborn and easily irritated. You refused to accept help. You were fucking frustrating. But as he watched you walk to your car, something warm filled his body. He didn't want you to leave. He wanted to rush after you, pull you into his chest again, and take you upstairs. He wanted you to see the mess in his bedroom. He wanted you to lay on the couch. And the drive didn't feel like you were going home. It felt like you had left something important behind.

~

The next morning you were up before your alarm. You couldn't find sleep or peace. Your words to Gavi had eaten you alive all through the night. You knew you had been too harsh, projected too far onto him, but you hadn't been thinking straight. It hurt differently to think that he was laughing at your expense. The guilt followed you around all morning as you prepared yourself for the match. You slicked back your hair, pulling it away from your face, and dressed in the slacks and pullover that all the field medics were regulated to wear. But as you sipped your lukewarm coffee, the guilt still sat in your stomach, swirling and festering and making you nauseous. So you swallowed your pride with your last sip of coffee and pressed the call button.

"Uh, hello? Am I late?" Gavi's voice asked, raspy and dripping with the remnants of sleep. He sounded like a child who was woken up for school.

"Oh no, you're not late. I'm up early... couldn't sleep."

"Why not?" Gavi was now fully awake after processing that you had called him. His heartrate elevated slowly, the sound of your voice helping the tiredness slip away from his very being.

"I... I feel guilty about yesterday. I shouldn't have taken out all my anger on you and your thigh tissue. I really appreciate you looking out for me. I guess I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

Gavi was leaning against his sink, swaying back and forth and smiling stupidly. You were thinking about him. You appreciated him. It made him swell with pride. He listened intently to the rest of your apology, hypnotized by the sound of your voice.

"There's no need to apologize doctora. I understand that you were upset."

"But I still feel bad. I was.. pretty mean to you yesterday. I want to make sure that you're not still upset with me."

Gavi looked into the mirror, smiling and dancing at your response.

"If you really want to make it up to me, I would like to cash in my favor."

You were in the process of grabbing your keys when you paused, eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"Favor? I don't remember owing you any favors."

"La doctora, you don't remember? Let me refresh your memory. You go home drunk and don't set an alarm. I come up with a wonderful and convincing excuse for Dr. G so that you don't get in trouble. You owe me, and I quote, anything I want. Ring any bells?"

You scrunched your face and groaned in distain. You remembered rather vividly now the promise you had made.

"Alright Gavi, hit me with it. I can take it. How am I repaying you saving my job?" You heard a low chuckle from the other side of the line.

"You'll be driving me home from the stadium starting today until we break for Christmas."

"What?!"

"You'll be driving me home. Pedri is working with Adidas for several campaigns over the next month, and it'll be a pain getting home after practice. Since you know the way now, you can get there easily. And hey, you can even visit Martin afterwards."

You started your car, thinking about the ask. It was on your way home anyways to drive by Gavi's neighborhood. And it would probably make you both even after your missteps.

"Fine. We will discuss further in the stadium when I see you. Go go, prep for the match. I want us to win today."

"We are going to win for sure. Give us a harder goal."

"Don't be arrogant Gavi. See you at noon."

~

Matchday at the camp was always extremely hectic, but especially for the medical staff. Meetings started at 9am despite the game not beginning until 3pm. All the equipment had to be approved by La Liga through inspection. Your wardrobe was inspected as well, and once again you were told off for not removing your rings. You pulled them off your fingers begrudgingly, hearing once again the lecture about rings tearing gloves. You were already over the match by the time the players started to arrive.

You made your way to the locker room to do some checks on players with pre-listed discomforts, making suggestions to prevent injury during the game. You were greeted warmly by the players as you pulled out your clipboard and pen. You made your way around, telling certain players to wear compression socks, and instructing others to stretch in certain ways. You made your way over to Pedri and Gavi, pulling out your notes.

"Pedri, how is that right thigh?"

"Amazing, y/n. I've been using resistance bands nightly like you instructed. I feel as flexible as playdoh."

"Always great to hear. Also congrats about the expanded Adidas contract." Pedri lifted his shirt over his head and looked at you somewhat confused.

"Ah thank you but... which contract specifically?"

Gavi's eyes were wide in panic. He had forgotten to fill in Pedri about his little white lie. It was true that Pedri had some filming with Adidas, but it would take about 3 days max. There was no reason that Gavi could pinpoint that would make him lie to get you to drive him home for 4 weeks. But he did it anyways, and now he needed to make sure it didn't collapse because of a lapse in communication.

"Gavi told me you'd be filming with Adidas, so I'll be driving him home until the Christmas break."

Pedri shot a look to the younger boy, one eyebrow arched, and found the expression of desperation on his face. The smile crept onto Pedri's face, proud of his friend for finally making some sort of move with you, even if he was yet to admit it was made because of the crush he was harboring.

"Oh that's right! They have us filming a lot of content at night to show off the color of these new boots, so it's really helpful that you'll be taking little Gavi home."

The sigh of relief was almost a little too loud. Gavi would fill Pedri in later, but for now, he was glad that he hadn't been caught in the lie.

"Anytime. Now onto little Gavi himself - how is the thigh tension?" You worked on Gavi, evaluating his physical form.

"I didn't know the nurse was making house visits today!"

Your jaw clenched and eye twitched at the sound of Ferran's voice. You took a deep breath, calming your nerves, and continued to check for signs of bruising and distress, crouched close to the ground to inspect Gavi's thighs.

"Wow Pablito, got her on her knees for you? You'll have to tell me the secret."

"Ferran, you couldn't get a dog to love you if you were covered in bacon. Be quiet and get changed so you can sit on the bench for 90 minutes."

You looked up at Gavi, shocked at his response. You squeezed his thigh, causing him to meet your concerned gaze.

"Gavi, tell me to shut up again and you'll be preparing for a prolonged hospital stay."

"I'd like to see you fucking try, Torres." Gavi moved from his place, approaching Ferran, before a hand from Pedri gripped his shoulder. One of the assistant coaches noticed the argument and rushed over, eager to prevent his players from killing each other.

"What the hell is going on?"

Ferran looked at Gavi with disgust, and then turned his eyes to rest on your chest.

"I think y/n is creating an uncomfortable environment in the locker room. I'd prefer if she wasn't here." He said, smirk playing on his lips. Your face paled, the colors draining and nausea bubbling. The last thing you needed was a complaint from a player.

"She wasn't doing anything except looking at my leg. She didn't even speak." Gavi responded, voice high and a touch too loud to be respectful.

"y/n, it may be better if you leave for field inspection. Send in Antonio to continue current problem rounds."

You nodded and walked out of the locker room, feeling utterly embarrassed. All you ever wanted was to make a good impression and be respected, and it seemed that no one paid your wellbeing any mind. You bit back your feelings and went to find Antonio. Gavi was not as merciful.

"What mental deficiencies do you suffer from that would make you say that? What if she loses her job?"

"She won't lose her job. She'll get a warning because of player complaints, and then she'll come to me and do whatever I ask to get the complaint removed. Just want to watch her bend over that desk just once before they realize she's incompetent."

"Say nasty shit about y/n in front of me again and I'll kick your fucking teeth in."

Ferran wanted to laugh, but the sound died in his throat when he saw the look in Gavi's eyes. His eyes were angry, cold-blooded, and murderous.

"You wouldn't dare." He retorted, trying to regain some confidence by calling the bluff.

"We play football for a living. I can make it look like a fucking accident." With that, Gavi left the locker room, ready to be away from Ferran and his punchable face.

~

Normally, you loved being on the sidelines for matches. You got to watch all the action as it occurred, and you got hands-on experience with the Barca players and the visiting teams (maybe it was bad, but you prayed Joao would need medical attention when Atletico was at Camp Nou). You got to enjoy every aspect of your job, and feel like you had come a significant way in your journey. Normally. Today, you wish you were at home or in your office or anywhere but the sidelines. Word had gotten back to both the coaching staff and the rest of the team about the little disagreement in the locker room, and now all eyes were on you. Xavi gave you the normal courtesy head nod, but gave you specific instructions to stay away from the bench and the players. It was a mortifying experience, and you prayed this game would end quickly and painlessly.

Your wish was granted in the first half. The team was playing cohesively and relatively safely, with a couple fouls here and there but no injuries requiring any attention. Lewandowsky scored a goal in the 34th minute, putting the team in the lead 1-0 at the half (during which, you were asked not to be in the locker room or the tunnel). This only made you feel worse. Player complaint were the kiss of death for any aspiring professionals in sports. You get into a disagreement with a player? You're gone. Why? Because there are thousands of physios and photographers and water boys, but only onw left forward worth 48 million Euros.

In the second half, however, you did not get your wish. Areal collisions came one after the other, requiring you to rapidly check players for any sort of head trauma. In the 67th minute, Gavi assisted Pedri with an amazing goal from deep in the box. You jumped when you saw the ball hit the back of the net. Pedri did his signature goal celebrations, and after he pulled away, your eyes locked with Gavi. He raised his eyebrows at you and you returned the gesture, and then he resumed the aggressive attacking. At minute 70, you were contemplating packing your things. The intensity of the match had died down significantly. Barca were passively looking for a third goal, and were not as prone to injury. This all changed in minute 72, when the midfielder decided he hated Gavi. Dribbling with the ball, Gavi was trying to turn to give him more options to pass or dribble, but he was surrounded by three people. As he tried to break free, the Betis player's knee collided with Gavi's groin. Hard.

The sound of the collision and then the fall to the ground sounded like it was heard in the entirety of the stadium. Your jaw went slack and eyes went wide. Gavi was on the floor, unmoving. You didn't even think, using enough brain power to grab the medical bag at your side, and then sprinted across the field to Gavi. There was a crowd of players surrounding him now, creating a tight ring of people. You approached the group, placing your hands on the nearest person, and then shoving.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY! MEDIC! MOVE!"

You finally go the bodies to disperse, and laying there was Gavi, tears in his eyes and whimpering from pain. He had one arm slung over his face, and the other gripped his shirt in immense pain. When he saw you approach, he looked at you with pleading eyes, begging for anything that would stop the throbbing pain he was experiencing.

"Gavi, where did you get kneed exactly? Where is the most intense pain?" You asked, kneeling to the ground and pulling on your gloved.

"My... my dick. I got kneed in the dick and it feels like hell." He replied. He was in too much pain to be shy. His dick fucking hurt, and he wanted anything to soothe the pain as quickly as possible.

"Gavi, I'm going to touch you now, okay?" You asked, hand hovering over the area. He nodded, not fully processing what you were saying or what was happening. You placed your hand over his dick and his eyes shot open. You began to massage the area slightly, moving your hand around, trying to prevent receptors of pain from activating and working to increase blood flow to the area.

And increase blood flow you did. Gavi felt the blood begin to pool in his shorts, and now that the pain was subsiding the embarrassment was returning, he took in what was actually happening. You had one hand on his cock and balls, moving them around slowly, and one on his hip, making sure the area wasn't sensitive. You looked up at Gavi, who was still in somewhat intense pain.

"Here, give me your hand." You placed your hand atop his, guiding it to his injury.

"Keep moving your hand around where you got kneed, and we'll get you on the bench. I would give you ice but I don't think that's idea here. Can you walk alone?" Gavi nodded, and you and the medical staff cleared the field. Gavi walked to the bench himself, earning cheers and love from all the fans in the stadium. He sat on the bench, continuing to massage his bruised genitals, and trying to make his blush subside by the end of the match.

~

After a stunning 3-0 win, you were ready to go to bed and never wake up again. Your whole body ached, and you had gotten dizzy from the sun exposure mixed with the biting chill of late November. You were barely able to drag your body to the players area - which you still could not enter. You received an email on your phone saying that Dr. Gonzalez would speak to you personally regarding the player complaint. Just as you were ready to burst into tears, Gavi emerged from the locker room, Pedri trailing close behind.

"Enjoy the game today?" Pedri asked, pulling you out of your trance.

"Loved it. I just wish Gavi could stop running into people so I could have a better viewing experience."

Gavi took this as an opportunity to enter the discussion, groaning on about how the other teams bullied him and were extra tough on him as the three of you walked to the garage.

"See you tomorrow, Pedri." You waved, unlocking your car and climbing into the driver's seat. He waived at you, and approached Gavi to hug him goodbye. As he pulled the younger boy in he whispered in his ear.

"I don't know how you thought of this little lie, but now you're going to be alone with her every day for four weeks. Ready to admit that you like her?" Gavi let out a fake laugh, playfully slapping Pedri on the shoulder.

"I don't like her like that. I just want to relieve some burden off of you, Hermano."

"Mhm yeah I'm sure. Just try not to get hard watching her drive on your first ride home. Wait until day 4 or 5." With that, Pedri walked to his own car, getting ready to call Fernando and update him about the circus that was Pablo's love life, and enjoying only being mobbed by 1/2 the normal amount of fans.

Gavi walked to your car quickly, climbing in and tossing his bag in the back. He tried not to think about Pedri's words. He was perfectly capable of sitting next to you, his friend, without being aroused just because you were a girl. At least he hoped he was. He was not hunched over and thinking deeply. Why did he decide that this was the best way for you to repay him? It's not like Pedri had ever complained about chauffeuring him around. And it's not like he didn't enjoy rides home with Pedri, listening to Quevedo and making idle conversation. But lately he just wanted to be around you - make sure you were okay.

The ring of your phone broke Gavi's train of thought. You answered on your car's speaker.

"Hola Martin. How are you doing?"

The sound of Martin's voice twisted Gavi's intestines, making him nauseous and fatigued. He hated the sound of his voice, the thought of his face, the words that he strung together and decided to say to you.

"Hola sexy. How are you doing this evening?"

You rolled your eyes. You knew exactly why Martin had chosen to call at this time. You had texted him earlier in the day, asking if he would be home that evening so you could drop by. This had led to a brief inquisition, with Martin wondering why you wanted to see him suddenly, and why you would be in his neighborhood. Once he found out it was because you would be in a car with Gavi alone, something in his behavior switched. He suddenly wanted to be a doting boyfriend who called and checked up on you.

"I'm doing well. You're on speaker in the car. I'm driving Gavi home right now."

"Are you still coming over afterwards? I've missed you so bad." Martin whined out that last part in such an animated way that it made you want to laugh. You knew what he was doing. He wanted to assert his dominance over Gavi, and make it think that you were going to swiftly go get railed by Martin right after you delivered Gavi at his doorstep. the truth was, despite dating Martin for several months now, you two had yet to go all the way. There had of course been kissing and some heavy petting, but no articles of clothing had never his the floor.

"I'll see how I'm feeling after Gavi leaves and call you then. Bye Martin." You said quickly, hanging up the call once you took a quick look at the disgusted look Gavi had plastered on.

"I'd mock you if I didn't think I would throw up." He said, trying to be lighthearted but failing. You didn't reply, feeling slightly embarrassed that he had to listen to your boyfriend's weak attempts to prove his manliness.

"No it's okay, go ahead and mock my boyfriend who moans on the phone when other people can hear." Your laugh was also stiff and forced. The call had made the air thicker and the mood more tense. You handed Gavi the phone, instructing him to play some music so that you weren't sat in the awkward silence that Martin seemed to always create between the two of you.

"This is a lot of pressure now on me. I'm never on AUX." He says, scrolling through his music. He pressed the song, and the sound poured from the speakers.

"Enrique Iglesias? Isn't he before your time?" You asked, smiling from ear to ear. You loved Cuando Me Enamoro, and the familiarity helped release the tension from your shoulders. As the song played, you started softly singing along. You opened the cover of the moon roof, allowing more of the street light to enter the car.

Gavi turned to look at you, examining your features. Your eyes were soft, focused on the road ahead of you. Your fingers drummed against the steering wheel to the beat. You had one leg up as you drove, leaning into the door slightly. Your lips moved along with the lyrics, singing contently. Gavi could not move his eyes from the sight. Your lips forming every letter were drawing in his focus, hypnotizing him. He never wanted to look away from the soft pink flesh. His thoughts began escaping his control. He wanted to hear you sing louder. He wanted to hear you speak, watching those lips talk about anything your heart held a passion for. He wondered what they would feel like against the pads of his fingers. He imagined what it would be like to kiss them - softly at first, just to feel their warmth and softness. Then harder, to interlock with his own, to bite them, pull them, have them stretched around him, make them cry out his name.

"Pablo?"

He snapped up, giving himself whiplash. Gavi had not noticed that he had rested himself on the center console, leaning against his palm and daydreaming so deeply it drowned out the sound of your voice calling his name.

"Sorry to disturb your deep pondering, but we're here." He looked up at you, vision still rose tinted from the deep dive he had conducted on your lips. His mouth hung open, wanting to say something, but the words would not form in his head. He wanted to touch you. He wanted you to be closer. But he couldn't say it. So instead he extended his hand for a fist bump, coupled with a quick mutter of 'goodnight'. He grabbed his bag, quickly closing the door and digging for his keys.

"Gavi?"

He looked back at you. Your eyes locked for a moment. His hazel eyes conveyed an emotion that you couldn't understand. You didn't want to look away from him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" There was a plead in the question that didn't escape either of you. It was a request. You wanted to see him. His eyes softened, crinkling at the sides as a smile spread across his space.

"Of course, doctora. Drive safe, and let me know when you get home."

Your eyes remained locked until Gavi shut his front door. He leaned against it breathing deeply, as you leaned your head against your steering wheel. You both felt a deep longing for the other, the feeling of "I miss you" sinking in as soon as the door clicked. But he got off the door, and you turned your engine back on, and you both ignored the feeling that something was missing.

~

Gavi was proud of himself. He was only half hard after leaving the car, despite the most sinful and inappropriate thoughts about your lips festering in his mind. He tried to eat, but he had no appetite. All he wanted to do was call you, text you, read your old messages. He threw his phone on his bed. He didn't understand why you now took up so much of his headspace and thought. He went to shower for the third time that day, hoping to relieve the tension permanently etched into his limbs.

You knocked on Martin's door for a third time. You had called him from Gavi's to let him know you were coming. He answered the phone out of breath and rushed, telling you to just come over, and hanging up quickly. It was night and day from the concerned lover that had called earlier. On the drive over you rationalized his behavior. Did you really have time for a boyfriend that wanted to talk to you often and be with you and have sex and sleepovers? No. You were busy and focused on advancing your career. So maybe Martin and his distance and indifference was actually perfect.

He finally opened the door after three rounds of knocking and two phone calls.

"You're here sooner than I expected." He said, cheeks slightly pink and breathing fast.

"Yeah Gavi lives really close by. Can I come in?" You asked, raising an eyebrow at his form, which blocked the entryway entirely.

"Uh," he looked over his shoulder before responding, "yeah sure. Come in." You entered his house, removing your shoes at the door. Martin had called you "backwards" the first time you did this at his house. As a person in medicine, you couldn't comprehend tracking the entire bacteria ecosystem onto the floor of his house, but it was one of those things you just agreed to disagree on.

"Making sure the other girlfriend left before letting me in?" You laughed, and he spun around quickly, grabbing you by the shoulders and leaning down to look at you.

"I know you make a lot of jokes, but this can't be one of them," he said, his tone somber and serious. "Don't ever joke about me being a cheater. It's not who I am and I am a better person than that." You were shocked by his sudden change in mood, putting your hands up in surrender and apologizing.

Gavi laid awake in bed, legs tangled in the sheets, moving from one side to the other, unable to find a single moment of rest. He checked the phone on his nightstand every couple of minutes, waiting to see your name light up the screen. Why weren't you home? It had been over an hour since you had left his house. Martin was definitely not interesting enough to keep you at his place for so long, especially after a match day. The longer he thought about it, the more the sweat pooled on his brow and the dread seeped into him. Maybe you two were having sex. Maybe you would be spending the night at his house, and Gavi would never get the "I'm home" text. He tried to calm himself, but everything irritated him. Why did you have to leave him to go to your stupid boyfriend's house? Why did he want you to tell Martin to fuck off and lay on the couch with him? Why did he want to know so badly if you two were having sex?

As with most news he got about your relationship, he heard the tip from Ansu who obviously heard it from Ferran: after three months together, you and Martin had still not had sex. After the initial 'why the hell are you guys talking about this', Gavi started to listen to Ansu's gossip as he packed his things after practice. He heard about Martin's complaints.

"Apparently, he told Ferran that she will kiss him and touch him and make him hard, then she will pull away and go home. He said first it was like exciting - ya know, being teased, playing hard to get. But now he's kind of getting impatient ya know. Ferran told him to get another girl."

"To break up with y/n?" Gavi asked a little more enthusiastically than he intended. Pedri looked up from his phone and raised an eyebrow at Gavi, but refrained from making a comment. He wanted to go home, and he knew the longer this conversation continued, the longer it would be till he could sit in front of his TV and play FIFA.

"No not to break up with her. Ferran was like 'oh you know she's wife material like she is good in front of cameras and will look nice for your Wikipedia page. But if you want to have sex just go to a girl in a club and sleep with her and then do the couple shit with y/n when you feel like it. You already set her expectations low."

Pedri swears to this day he saw the smoke rise from Gavi's ears at the suggestion that Martin cheat on you. In football and in life, Gavi hated cheats. He wanted to tell you, but was advised against it.

"Unless we hear that he is actually cheating on her, there's no need to hurt her feelings or add stress to her life."

So now he sat in bed, frustrated in more than one way, as he thought about you and Martin having sex. He closed his eyes, hoping to conjure up a new mental image, but all he saw was you. You were in the same sweatshirt and leggings that you had come over in the other day. Martin was nowhere to be seen. You were in the living room, laying on the soft leather of the couch, beckoning Gavi over.

He felt the blood begin to pool and his cock start to harden. He threw one arm over his eyes, groaning loudly. It had become a common occurrence for him to get horny when thinking about you, but usually he could will the image away by reminding himself that you two were friends and would not be anything more. Usually. Today it wasn't working. The image of you on his couch, licking your lips and calling him over refused to disappear. The tighter he closed his eyes the stronger it got.

He moved his hand to palm his aching erection through the fabric of the boxers he had worn to sleep. The you in his head was standing now, playing with the hem of your sweatshirt. The sight of skin (imaginary as it was), encouraged him further, and set his very skin ablaze. He pushed down his boxers, stroking himself slowly now. In his head now, you had slowly stripped away your sweatshirt, leaving you in a bra and tight leggings that cupped your ass in the most sensual ways. He was panting now, breathing heavily, switching between stroking his cock and playing with the head. In his mind you stripped off your leggings, leaving you in just your bra and panties for him to stare at, taking in the sight of your body. Beads of precum formed at the head, which he spread around, teasing his most sensitive nerves. He knew once he came you would disappear, and he didn't want to be without you.

The real you was in a similar position: seductive and shirtless. You were currently under Martin, shirt having been discarded somewhere in the living room as he pressed you into the couch. He broke from you to pull off his shirt, then captured your lips once again. You move fervently to match his pace. He kneaded your breasts between his hands. Rough. Everything Martin did was fast and rough. And you tried to keep up, but the only sounds leaving you were heavy breaths from exertion, not arousal.

The scene in Gavi's head switched perspectives. He was now on the couch, legs spread open, inviting you in. You walked towards him slowly, and he drank in the sight of you. You crawled onto his lap, straddling him, and rested your forehead against his. Your eyes, your lips, your breasts - the image of all three sent shock waves through his body and straight to his cock. He gripped it now. He wanted to turn to his nightstand, grab something to lubricate with and stroke in earnest, but he was afraid he would lose the vision of you.

In Martin's house, the real you was searching for an escape. Martin was kissing your neck, grinding into you like a dog in heat. After a few minutes he noticed that you had gone silent, even your breathing relaxing now. He came up to look at you. What kind of girl didn't get turned on from activities like this? He decided to switch positions so that you were laying on top of him, and he dug his fingers into your hips and ass pressing your clothed core against him. He was unmistakably hard, but you felt nothing. There was no pool in your panties or heat in your loins. You were kissing him hard but felt, well, indifferent. Like you might rather be doing laundry.

In Gavi's head, you were a puddle. He had captured your lips between his own, kissing you deeply as you rocked against him, the kiss only breaking when he hit your sweet spot, causing you to moan out. He let his hands roam your bare skin, and he could almost feel the warmth. Fingers resting on your waist, he moved with you, rutting against each other and chasing your release. He looked down at the two of you, watching the wet spot on your panties grow as you ground your clit into his hard-on. He moved to your neck, kissing and suckling until little marks bloomed on the skin. You whimpered out, and now Gavi wanted to do everything in his power to make you moan in earnest. You were looking at him with those gorgeous eyes, begging, pleading, imploring Gavi to do more. And he wanted to do so much more.

The action ended for the real you rather quickly. Martin was pushing you against him, bruising your pelvic bone as he chased his own orgasm, almost forgetting that you weren't a sex doll. You decided to help finish him off quickly and go back to your place. Maybe you would still have time for that laundry. You placed your hands on either side of his head, his face basically buried in your breasts, and you started to grind into him earnestly, rocking your hips in a way that you knew drive men crazy. Within 45 seconds he was cumming in his pants, moaning loudly, and pressing into you so hard you were worried it would leave marks. You gave him a quick kiss and tugged your shirt back on. You both exchanged words about seeing each other soon, and you walked out of his house to your car alone and unsatisfied.

Gavi was almost in pain. His cock was angry and throbbing, begging for him to stroke himself in earnest. But he couldn't do it dry, and he would rather remove his cock entirely than lose this dream of you. You were now in front of him, on your knees, touching his upper thighs. He felt the ghostly sensation on his skin as he remembered every time you pressed your fingers into the muscular flesh in your office (or on his couch). You pulled down his boxers, and his cock sprung free. You leaned over and let your tongue hang from your mouth, your drool flowing on to his cock. Gavi brought his hand up and spit in his palm, pretending it was you. He brought it back down and began stroking, long fluid motions from base to tip. You were also stroking him, looking up at him with those big innocent "fuck me" eyes, and he couldn't stop himself from moaning out.

He wanted you. He wanted you to be on your knees for him, on his lap, under him in bed. He wanted you. He had never been harder in his life. And then he got to those lips. Those pink perfect lips that spoke to him so gently, teased him, called out his name - in his mind he watched them stretch over his cock. His self restraint snapped. He brought his hand up again, spitting into his palm multiple times, and beginning to stroke his cock rapidly. He wished it was you. He wished it was your smaller hand wrapped around him, so he could guide you to stroke it in just the way he liked. He was playing with the head of his cock now, imagining your lips sinking deeper and deeper over him, looking up at him with tears in your pretty eyes.

There was no more pretending and no more care. The sheets were thrown off, the room filled with heavy breaths, groans, and the squelching sound of Gavi pumping his cock. His dream you had pulled of and was now leaving gently kisses on his cock, licking the head shyly. Your lips were red and swollen, a product of his passionate kisses and his member. Gavi was almost there. He squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could, trying to see you, imagine you more clearly. You were alternating licking at his slit and sucking on his head. He was gone. Moans of your name mixed with "please" filled his room. He wished you were there. He wanted to feel your skin, the smooth warmth under his finger tips. He wanted to hear your voice, soft and silky and telling him how good he was going. He was so, so close. He had never edged himself this much in his life, but he wanted to keep watching you.

The dream you pulled off of the head of Gavi's cock, placing a kiss on it, before crawling back up his body. He tried to capture your lips in yet another kiss, but he couldn't. He felt you drape yourself over his thigh, grinding into the muscle there as you pumped his cock for him. He fisted his own cock at a bruising pace. He would deal with the consequences afterwards. Now he was ready to cum to you, for you. You leaned into his ear, still riding his thigh, one hand wrapped around him, and you moaned out,

"Pablo."

His orgasm washed over him in a tidal wave, knocking the air out of him. He moaned your name out loudly, filling the whole house with his sounds of pleasure. Cum landed on his chest, and he continued to pump himself through the orgasm, thinking of you and riding out his high. When it was over, he calmed himself and worked to slow his breathing. His eyes were still screwed shut, but you weren't there anymore. He was alone and covered in his own load, and he was still thinking about you.

Once he had composed himself (and his legs were stable enough for him to walk, he went to the bathroom and cleaned himself, donning a new pair of boxers to actually sleep in. Once he returned to his bed, he saw his phone light up.

[Doctora]: I just got home. Have a good night Pablo

His chest got tight again as he laid in bed, staring at your words to him. You hadn't forgotten. He set his alarm and laid down, the exhaustion from his orgasm settling in now and making his eyelids heavy. When he closed his eyes, he saw you again. This time you were fully clothes - in one of his hoodies and a pair of his sweats. You were in bed next to him, arm stretched out, beckoning him to come closer to you. Gavi hugged one of his pillows close to his chest, imagining it was you sleeping in his arms, and drifted off.

[Gavi]: Have a good night, doctora. Dream of me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: not proofread because I don't feel like it. I hope you al enjoy this part! I think this is the last part of 'exposition'/ setting up their dynamic, so relationship building will start in the next chapter, so I hope you all stick with me for the rest of the story! I love hearing all your reactions in the comments, so please don't be shy to comment! Or if you're a little shy, feel free to send me an anon ask!

Also please comment if you want to be added to the taglist ok bye

*~*Taglist*~*

@l0verl4ne @vibinwkay @anastasia-nova @mxgvmiii @mads-grace4 @bubblebeep69 @katluckybear @scuderiabarca @alwaysclassyeagle @simpingmyassoff @grlwithprblms @lqvesoph @pink-manz @graziemille @xxenia14 @nngkay @icedlattewithextracaramel @gyusrose @vip-access @julianalvarez9

[ganeshpnf]

Hiii! What do you think about the movie cast and show cast? Which one do you love more if you have to compare?

Hi anon! And...wow. I dont talk about this much but if I would, I need to make some warnings first. My blog is not open for talking bad, hating for any actors. Anyone who sees this post are free to share their own thoughts, whatever you agree with me or not. But please, be respectful, to all actors and to people say their own personal thoughts. And remember, whatever you like it or not, they are still in characters of the movie and show universe. You have to show your respect. Bad writing, bad plot, inaccuracy is never the actors' fault, they are just doing their jobs. So please, be respectful. Dont forget that people can have opinions, unless they talk bad to any actor, it should be respected. You are all free. I also gotta say that I love every single actor, for the movie and the show, they are all amazing :) But if I had to compare their acting or how I see them most of the time, long post so lets goo!

1- Logan(movie Percy) and Walker(show Percy)

Both of the actors are really talented. Walker is known with his personality and I agree, during interviews and his daily life. But personally, I dont think the same in the show. I know, bad writing, but still. Logan is exactly what I see hoo Percy, his humor and his iconic lines. While Walker also threw some good Percy sass, I would still have to pick Logan. He is too iconic for me.

2-Alexandra(movie Annabeth) and Leah(show Annabeth)

First, kudos to the both actors since they got so many hate and still stayed so strong. Both of them inspired so many things in me, I am so so proud of both of them.

Now, this is hard because both of these woman also had a very big problem with bad bad bad bad writing. Their characters were butchered up and it was not their fault. Both of their acting was perfect. But, Alexandra did a bit better in my eyes with her acting. While I adore Leah, she seemed a bit flat to me. I believe with time, she would get better, but for now, I'll have to pick Alexandra.

3- Brandon(movie Grover) and Aryan(show Grover)

I know this is not Brandon's fault but making Grover with full of sexual jokes was not my favourite thing. He is hilarious to watch, yes. But part of his character angered me. I think Aryan did better in this, he would do even better. His grover made more sense in me, so I will pick Aryan.

4-Leven(movie Clarisse) and Dior(show Clarisse)

This is so hard, because both of them were fantastic. I think I will make it tie. I had tiny "issues" with both, maybe some cringe moments but its mostly because of the writing. Other than that, I cant pick. Leven's attitude and Dior's that powerful scream, its a tie.

5-Jake(movie Luke) and Charlie(show Luke)

Charlie is an amazing actor, his Luke was written to be a bit more sympathic. If I have to talk about Luke, it would make a whole another long post, but Jake's Luke gave me much more Luke vibes. Not only because he is almost exactly with how I imagine him, but also with his attitude, funny remarks about his father which completely summed up his relationship with his father. So I have to pick Jake, he is way too iconic for me.

6-Pierce(movie Chiron) and Glynn(show Chiron)

Well, I know second movie changed the actor but Pierce is special to me because he is THE Chiron in my eyes. He looked exactly of what I imagined, he looked ancient with long hair and I adore it. Glynn's Chiron's acting was a bit soft in my eyes, I wish we got to see him organize the camp more, training the heros etc. Pierce's scene with him training the demigods, I adore it, so I go with Pierce.

7-Stanley(movie Mr.D) and Jason(show Mr.D)

Hmmm, I think I would choose Jason since his lines were a bit more iconic, he slayed with his acting. For Stanley's defense, we didnt see him much, but still I gotta choose, so Jason.

8- Uma(movie Medusa) and Jessica(show Medusa)

I think I already said here that how much I adore Uma's Medusa. I think cgi was a lot better, despite it being 2010. I didnt like Jessica's Medusa since it was too Ovid's story, I really do not like that version :( Uma's acting, snakes were better in my eyes so I choose her.

9-Sean(movie Zeus) and Lance(show Zeus)

First of all, rest in peace Lance :( I adored him in every single project, he was perfect. I first watched him in "Young Sheldon" and not to mention he slayed as his performance in Zeus. About Sean though, he is the Zeus I see most of the time, I love him, his power in the throne room scene, perfection, him threating Poseidon...I would go with Sean.

10- Kevin(movie Poseidon) and Toby(show Poseidon)

This is also so hard because I literally...cant choose? Like Kevin's first scene is just so powerful and gave me the Poseidon immediatly. But Toby...his scene with Sally, I just cant. Its a tie, sorry.

11- Steve(movie Hades) and Jay(show Hades)

Look, I love the actors but...I really dont see both of them as Hades in my eyes? One of them was too evil, other one was too silly. Like okay, I accept them as Hades, in other universes. But I cant compare them, so you can call it a tie.

12-Catherine(movie Sally) and Virgiana(show Sally)

I love Catherine, she is so close to what I see when I think of Sally. But Virgiana...She was just perfect. I had some issues of her character but thats an another topic. For now, I pick Virgiana.

I cant think of more of the main cast but I need a moment to talk about movie Athena because I think she is too underestimated. Like she is perfect, THE Athena. She looks exactly like her, she is just too dam sweet. I love her so so much.

This is it. Im no fan of both of this adaptations tbh, but actors are all so great and talented! My fav adaptation would always be musical, I would talk about it one day.

Please remember to be respectful, you are all free to share your own thoughts :)

[deepspacedukat]

Praetor's Pride - Part 6

Y'know, at first I was worried that this would turn out to be a filler chapter, but it turned out to be something else entirely thanks to a plot bunny that halfway ties together two ideas I had. This fic will probably end up being around fifteen chapters, so strap idn for a long journey, and enjoy, friends! I know I haven't updated in ages, but life is busy and writer's block is a bitch.

Part 1 here. Part 2 here. Part 3 here. Part 4 here. Part 5 here.

Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Praetor Hiren (ST:Nemesis) x Reader; Senator Letant (ST:DS9) x Reader

[A/N: This has smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Interspecies sex, Human/Romulan sex, innuendo, ogling, heavy flirtation, literal sleeping together, dirty talk, implied spanking, mild angst.

~*~

After months of sand swirling around my head, getting in my hair, and nearly blinding me, the cool, climate-controlled environment of Deep Space Nine felt like the height of luxury. The Vulcan heat, I'd discovered, was quite possibly the most stifling climate I'd ever experienced - even Andoria's frigid icy surface was more enjoyable.

When I'd arrived on the former Cardassian station, I'd lowered the temperature in my quarters and practically lived in my bed the first day. It was lazy, it was selfish, but oh stars it felt incredible to not be on the verge of melting for once.

All in all, Vulcan hadn't been completely unpleasant, but the heat was one thing I could definitely do without. Despite feeling as though I was roasting alive every time I walked outside, my spirits during my stay there had been kept rather high by my correspondence with both Letant and Hiren. The letters I received from them were the highlights of my days.

Each had such a unique voice when putting pen to paper - or, I should say stylus to PADD - that I could tell by the very first line which of the two had written it before I glanced down at the signature. Letant was his usual jovial, jaunty self. We'd corresponded semi-regularly prior to this last trip to Vulcan, but his letters were now an almost daily part of my routine.

He spoke, for the most part, as if nothing had changed between us, but he'd stray into romantic territory near the end of each missive. Judging by his tone and how sentimental he waxed, I could discern his mood. If it had been a long, hard day, he veered further into introspective territory.

'I can't help but wonder,' he wrote in one particular message, 'whether I've been selfish in regards to our relationship. A Romulan Senator has no shortage of enemies, as has been demonstrated to me recently, and I must ask you to be honest with me in your next response. Are you absolutely certain that you know what you're getting into?'

I'd responded to him that whatever hurdles appeared before us, we'd conquer them together. Navigating life together - the good, the bad, and everything in between - was, after all, what relationships were all about. He'd comforted me countless times over the course of our friendship, so why shouldn't I do the same for him now that we were romantically involved?

Letant certainly had no objections to my emotional support, becoming ever more amorous in his subsequent correspondence.

And the Praetor's letters...

Oh, Hiren gave me something utterly priceless: a glimpse into his soul. Quoting romantic poetry from all corners of the galaxy, he made me feel as though he...well, adored me. Letant's letters were extremely intimate and romantic, of course, but this side of Hiren was unexpected. I wasn't surprised that he could be that way with a lover, but I never quite anticipated being on the receiving end of such desire.

A small part of me still expected an abrupt shift from acceptance of my Humanity to outright rejection. Maybe that expectation was just my past experience with intolerance rearing its ugly head, but something taut and nervous fluttered through my chest every time I read one of the Praetor's missives. I already felt so much for him. The thought that he might end up thinking no more of me than some of the others I'd met felt like a vice around my lungs. I hadn't yet confided that to Letant, but I knew it would be wise to do so once he arrived on the station.

He'd know precisely what I was feeling, especially if he made use of that telepathy he'd demonstrated to glance into my thoughts. In fact, that might be easier than trying to express what I felt verbally.

They seemingly had no trouble doing so - a fact that never ceased to surprise me, despite the heavy encryption that protected their words.

Something else their letters shared was the presence of oddly capitalized letters. Both could speak Federation standard, but given how random the capitalized letters were, it seemed as thought they'd begun dictating their letters in Romulan using a translation matrix that wasn't quite calibrated correctly, then switched over to Federation standard dictation halfway through. It was odd. Every letter but one contained these odd linguistic characters; Hiren's most recent correspondence was the only one completely free of typos.

For such exacting men, this struck me as odd, but then again, they were both extremely busy. They could simply have not noticed, especially if their wrote their letters at the end of the day before bed. They did have exhausting jobs, and more than once, Letant had alluded to giving himself a...'relaxing massage' while composing a message to me.

I couldn't help but wonder whether Hiren had ever done the same. I reprimanded myself as soon as the thought crossed my mind. He was the Praetor of the Romulan Empire. I really shouldn't have tried to read more into his words than was intended.

But then, that day in the garden still nudged at the back of my mind, reminding me of how deep and sensual Hiren's voice dropped when he was aroused, and I was gone. There was no dragging my thoughts back from the abyss of dirty imagery it had conjured. Maybe it was all that time spent with the Vulcans and their own mental restraint, but I longed for some of my lovers' expressiveness. Their wit and sarcasm, their gentle smiles and gleeful smirks...my heart ached to be with them again.

A week after I'd arrived on Deep Space Nine, I was rereading Hiren's latest message when it struck me:

It was too late for me to guard my heart. For better or worse, he and Letant already held it in their grasp. I was head over heels for the Senator, and I could tell that the same fate awaited me in regards to Hiren.

Could this really work? Could I really be a lover to two high-class, influential Romulans?

Odo opened a comm channel just as I once again skimmed the poetry excerpt from Hiren's last letter. I was still reeling with shock from the realization of how far I'd already fallen.

"Ambassador, I'm sorry to bother you, but there's someone in security who claims that you're expecting him."

How odd.

"Acknowledged. On my way," I answered as I got to my feet. Reluctantly, I put the PADD containing Hiren's letters back into my luggage with the rest and locked it before starting toward the Promenade.

The entire way there, I was stuck in my own thoughts. Was this a risk I was willing to take? Were Hiren and Letant really willing to accept a mate who was so incredibly different? Did they understand just how much we had to learn about each other?

For that matter, did I?

A pair of doors hissed open in front of me, and I realized I'd reached the security office while I was overanalyzing my situation.

"I know you've been here before, sir, but we all have to take precautions. your government's delegation was altered at the last minute. Ah, there you are, Ambassador," the Constable said, and I blinked, taking in the group of people in the office. There were three Romulans. Two wore military uniforms, and when the third turned around, I froze.

"Speechless already? Oh dear, that doesn't bode well for the conference in a few days, does it?" Letant's usual shit-eating grin awoke the hoard of butterflies hiding in my stomach. He was here early! I hadn't been expecting him for another three days at the very least! "Really, Constable, if you recognize me, surely you don't need confirmation of my identity?"

Odo harumphed as if the Senator's question was the height of stupidity.

"It's not your identity I'm concerned with, it's your behavior," he stated bluntly before turning his attention to me. "I wouldn't normally do this, but the last I heard, the two of you were close friends. Can you vouch for him?"

Mischief bubbled swiftly up from within me as I turned to my mate with a serious expression.

"Hm, I don't know. He can be quite the troublemaker. Drinking too much ale...flirting with the Dabo girls...picking fights with Klingon officers..." I trailed off and took two slow steps toward him as my eyes drank him in from head to toe and back again. "Do you promise to be a good boy for me, Senator?"

Letant's eyes darkened with hunger, and his grin transformed from a light, easy, roguish smile to a smirk that promised I'd regret teasing him in front of his officers.

"For you, Ambassador, yes. I do," he murmured, and I turned to the Constable.

"Yes, Odo, I'll vouch for him."

The Security Chief started tapping away at his console.

"Very well. Senator, as you've arrived early, I'm afraid the quarters we were going to have prepared for you are not yet empty–"

"There is no need for a separate set of quarters. I'll be staying with the Ambassador," Letant said, and before Odo could protest, the Senator guided me out with a large, warm hand placed firmly on my back. His guards took up protective positions behind us as we walked, effectively multiplying the amount of people staring at us. "My, separation has made you quite bold indeed, e'lev. Did your stay on Vulcan truly bore you so severely that you would challenge a Romulan Senator in public?"

"Oh please, you dramatic man, there was no challenge. I was teasing you, and you damn well know it."

Letant let out a quiet laugh as his eyebrows rose.

"You don't call publicly asking if I'm going to be a 'good boy' a challenge of my authority?" I started to reply, but he cut me off. "Or were you, perhaps, trying to coax a particular reaction from me, hm?"

The abrupt closure of my mouth told him all that he needed to know.

"Ah, I see. I knew arriving early was a prudent plan. You've been alone for far too long," he murmured as we got into the turbolift. Heedless of his guards' gazes, Letant turned me to face him and backed me up against one of the lift walls. Grasping my waist with one hand and my jaw with the other, my Senator spoke in a raspy whisper. "Congratulations, e'lev. You were entirely successful."

His lips met mine for a moment, tantalizingly rough and sweet at the same time, before pulling back and leaving me dazed as the turbolift continued on its path. From what I'd been told, such displays in front of others, including personal guards, were usually avoided like the plague.

I must've teased him more than I realized after our time apart.

When we reached the doors to my quarters, we were both short of patience. I was stunned that we made it all the way inside before Letant had me up against a wall. And just like that, the fullness of the three months that we'd been separated forced our composure to take a backseat. We became a mess of grasping hands and searing kisses, fumbling our way toward the bedroom.

"Three months is too long to be away from you," he breathed as the sound of tearing fabric heralded the death of yet another uniform top.

--

Sated and lounging in bed that evening, I'd relaxed into an almost trance-like state atop my lover's chest. The hypnotic sensation of Letant's fingertips skimming up and down the length of my back coupled with the rhythmic steadiness of his breathing comforted me in a way that I'd severely missed since I set out for my trip to Vulcan.

"He'll be here tomorrow," he said just above a whisper.

"Hm? Who?" I dragged myself back to full consciousness and looked up at Letant.

"Hiren, of course. He's talked of little else since your departure from Romulus," he murmured brushing his lips against my forehead. "I would ask if he's been writing to you if not for the fact that he practically glowed every time you responded to him."

"How could I not? The Praetor is a charming man with a romantic streak. His knowledge of love poetry is rather extensive - or, at least, I assume that it is, given the vast selection of excerpts that he's been sending me." Tracing my fingers along the column of Letant's throat, I couldn't help but smile at the thought that I'd gotten incredibly lucky.

"How did you like his latest prose, if I may ask?"

"That was my favorite set of lines yet! Oh, that reminds me, he forgot to include the poet's name. I'll have to ask him about that when he gets here. Unless you know, of course?"

With a rumbling laugh, Letant gripped my hips and slipped one of his legs between mine.

"Now, now, have patience, e'lev. I promise you'll have your answers, but not from me. The name was left off deliberately, and Hiren swore me to secrecy. Friend though he might be, I dare not disobey my Praetor. You should have seen him when he was preparing for this trip, though. He must've pulled every set of robes from his bot-unsubstantial wardrobe to ask my opinion on whether you'd find them attractive."

"No," I scoffed in disbelief, but Letant was entirely serious.

"Yes, my girl. It's ridiculous. The man has been married before. He certainly knows how to flirt and has plenty of experience in seduction. There's no reason for him to be this nervous - he's had his head between your pretty legs, for goodness sake - yet he's behaving as if he's not even had his first encounter."

"Bullshit. Hiren would never go to pieces over someone like me. You're exaggerating."

"I most certainly am not. You have reduced the Praetor of the entire Romulan Empire to no more than an anxious suitor. He lured me to the palace, plied me with kali-fal, then proceeded to try on everything he owned in front of a mirror to ask for my opinion. You should've seen him. He struck poses, e'lev," Letant said flexing his biceps as someone might in front of a mirror, and I dissolved in a fit of giggles at the mental image he conjured. "I have told you many times that you are a remarkable woman. Perhaps you'll realize that I spoke the truth before you give the poor man a coronary."

"But surely...? I mean, he must realize that I'm not superficial enough to judge him for his outfit. He'd look good in anything, just like you."

With a mere flick of his hands, Letant maneuvered me atop him so that I was straddling his hips. I braced my hands on his chest, taking in the sight of the beautiful man beneath me. his normally pristinely-groomed black hair was tousled from our exertions, and the smirk stretching his lips brought to mind smug gods from ancient mythology. In such a comparison, I was more than content to be the unwitting mortal who'd fallen so willingly into his bed.

"You think I'd look good in anything?" He asked as a faux innocent expression made its home on his face.

"Now you're just fishing for compliments–"

"Of course I am. You love me. Who better for me to ask than you, my lovely mate?" His hands slid up my sides and caressed the swell of my breasts. "Tell me, what is it like to be in bed with someone so devilishly handsome?"

Scoffing playfully, I started to move off of him, but Letant's renewed grip on my hips kept me firmly in place as he sat up beneath me. With his lips a mere hair's breadth away, I stubbornly kept my hands to myself and my mouth shut.

"Now, now...no need for petulance," the Senator breathed. It was so obscenely easy for him to get what he wanted from me. His arms wound around my torso, holding me close as he spoke. "Just because your partner is almost equal to you in beauty doesn't mean you need to pout."

How was it he always managed to compliment both himself and me in one breath?

"You don't play fair." I just barely managed to hold back a grin, fixing him with a glare instead. Letant laughed, his warm breath ghosting over my skin.

"No, but you've known that for quite some time. Besides..." he said laying kisses slowly down the length of my jaw, "you know I'm right."

The Senator's hands slid farther down my back.

"Now, about that little challenge earlier..."

--

Hiren found the T'Met's commanding officer in his Ready Room, skimming through reports with a look of deep concentration etching his face seemingly in stone. The Riov glanced up as the Praetor entered, and he smiled that same charming smile he'd worn for years.

"Well, well, I was wondering when you'd come see me, old friend. Please, have a seat," S'Talon said shutting off his console and leaning back in his own chair. "I've heard a little rumor, lhhai, concerning you, Letant, and a certain Federation Ambassador. Is that why I've been honored with the task of transporting you to this conference, my Lord Praetor?"

"You know such formalities aren't necessary, Tal," Hiren said as he sank down into one of the plush chairs. "As for the rumors...I don't know what you've heard, so it's a bit difficult to give you an honest answer."

The Riov smirked and tapped the top of his desk in an absentminded sort of way.

"I've heard that you and Letant intend to make a proper triad with her...that the two of you love her."

Hiren lifted his chin. He wasn't sure how the Riov knew that, but he was not ashamed of how he felt or who he felt it for.

"Yes. She and Letant were together to begin with, and I am fortunate enough to be a candidate for the position of their third. I won't be so rude as to presume to speak for her, but for my part, I do love her, yes."

S'Talon practically beamed at him.

"I have no doubt she adores you. I remember how smitten you were with T'Shara. I see just as much light in your eyes...just as much pride as there was when you spoke of her." The Romulan Captain stood and walked around his desk. "She must truly be a marvel to have caught your attention so fully. I look forward to meeting her when we arrive at the station."

"Don't go getting any ideas. I know how charming you can be toward women you find exceptional," Hiren chastised playfully, but S'Talon placed a solemn hand over his heart.

"I am fond of the fairer sex, but you know I would never abscond with a friend's lover. She's yours, you are hers, and I would never dream of coming between you. I'll be on my best behavior, I swear it," the Riov vowed. "I would, however, like to befriend her, if you're comfortable with that."

"I do not choose my lover's companions for her. If she wishes to count you among her friends, I would never stand in your way."

A moment's comfortable silenced passed between the two, and as he leaned back against the desk, S'Talon smiled.

"Have you imagined it? What you'll do once you marry her, I mean?"

"She might not have me–"

"Oh, she'll have you, old friend, I'm certain of it. Now, tell me," the Riov continued, "where have your daydreams taken you when you think of her? You will undoubtedly be the most powerful triad in the entirety of the Empire, but have you given any thought to where you'll live? Your family estate is quite large, as is Letant's, but the Praetor's Palace would obviously have enough space, should you choose to reside there..."

Hiren couldn't help but laugh at his friend's enthusiasm, allowing his infectious joy to flow through him.

"You give me far too much credit, Tal. She's Human. She may not...well, it might be that she is not made for a triad. Who knows? I might make some monumental mistake that costs me her love, or I might simply be too old once she stops to consider the age difference." Hiren gave voice to the fears that had rolled around in his head since her departure from their home planet. He'd told Letant his concerns and had received reassurance in return, but Hiren wanted S'Talon's counsel, as well.

"I cannot pretend to know her mind," the Riov began, "but I do know yours. You are an excellent judge of character. You would not have chosen someone so fickle. I would wager my best bottle of kali-fal that your fears - while completely valid and normal - lack real foundation. She will have you, my dear old friend, and she will not let you go once she does."

Hiren nodded his head, rolling his shoulders as if to banish some of his tension from his frame.

"Would you do me a small favor once we reach the station?" The Praetor has no doubt that he was about to sound even more ridiculous, but he was beyond caring. "Would you...sketch her for me? I'd be happy to pay you. Nothing too elaborate, and she doesn't have to know, it's just..."

He trailed off, unable to think how best to describe his emotions, but Tal just smiled.

"Of course. It would be my honor." The Riov murmured, but he frowned a little. "You know I'd never charge you for that. I would, however, like to know how you met her."

A smile stretched the Praetor's lips as he thought back to that night.

--

Letant lay in bed that night content to hold his mate close as his thoughts whirled in his head behind a carefully constructed barrier. He didn't want them bleeding across the telepathic bridge between his mind and his lover's. She deserved sleep that wasn't interrupted by his guilt.

Was he doing the right thing keeping this from her? But surely, if it was to keep her safe, she'd understand.

Elements, if this involved anyone but her, he'd have no trouble justifying his actions. He'd been a great strategist - he still was - so why was this causing him so much discomfort? He knew that the pain she'd feel would be temporary...that it would all be resolved in a matter of days once it began and that the three of them would live quite happily afterwards, but...

Damn him, the thought of causing her even a moment's pain made him want to wake her, drop to his knees, and plead for her forgiveness. He wanted to tell her everything, but he knew that doing so would endanger her life.

That he could not abide. Her life was much more valuable to him than his comfort, and though she may rage at him later, he was reasonably certain that they could work through any problems together.

She stretched in his arms and nuzzled even farther into Letant's embrace. Precious girl. She murmured something nonsensical in her sleep, and the Senator held her just a bit tighter as he kissed her forehead.

Allowing his mind to brush against hers, he watched her dreams like a holo-vid until he finally dropped into a mostly-peaceful sleep in her arms.

~*~*~

Taglist:

@akamitrani @android-boyfriends @attention-bajoranworkers @bigblissandlove1 @darkmattervibes

@emilie786 @groovyqueer @horta-in-charge @live-logs-and-proper @rookietrek

@slutty-slutty-vulcans @starrynightgardens @toebeans-mcgee

[psycheetamore]

Piercing through invisible armour 

Summary: our lord not only wants to catch his game physically, but also mentally. And he still needs to clarify what the exact relations/hierarchy is on his planet.

Tags: MDNI, Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen Is His Own Warning, anticipation/threat of smut, talk of smut, a bit of smut, dubcon, unexperienced lead lady, talkative Feyd, predator/prey, teacher/student - the author regrets nothing

Part 3 of 6 of my contribution to the predator/prey thrope for Kinktober of @lady-phasma - nr 1-4 are chapters of 1 story (1-3 Feyd/OC hunt related, nr 4 is the reward for our lord), and nr 5-6 is me sharing my favourite chapter that I have written to date with the hunt between Rabban/OC. The 6 bits will be posted through daily posts.

Word count: 1.6k

How Feyd-Rautha had looked forward to this very moment. He wanted to savour this experience, every second of it, every centimetre of her body. He wanted to be able to recall everything. There would not be any room for haste, only for pure pleasure.  

Securely he brought his game to his chambers. Deep in his heart he had hoped she would make another run for it, but it would also please him if she would submit. The hunt was done, now he would eat and feast. 

She expected to be thrown on her back on his bed, but to her surprise she was placed on a couch, softly, to sit. He squatted before her, to look her in the eyes.

To see her core.

Her eyes were asking for him to claim her, make her his, to take her. He had learned to recognise that look. The eyes of many ladies before her had expressed the same considerations. Doubt. Should they or should they not. He knew this meant they wanted him, yet feared him. They desired what he may do and were afraid of that. Of what this may mean for their name and reputation, for their sanity, for their body. All these reasons combined often. It was fuel to his desires, urges. Intoxicating. It was all the permission he needed to do whatever his depraved heart felt like.

She seemed to cave in, hanging her head nearly in sorrow.  

“Hmm. Don’t be like this. This is no fun” he pouted, gently placing her locks behind her ears. She responded by crouching even more. She had gone from fearsome to fearful in the blink of an eye.  

That meant he may not be able to get the pleasure he had anticipated from her. He was planning on resistance, obliging him to use constraints. But he was a resourceful man. He would make due.

Sitting next to her he towered over her. Not a good place for an intimate conversation. So he placed his hand on her back to guide her to sit on his lap. She complied without discussion.

The pressure of her body weighing on him, her bruised feet and her tiny bloodied toes dangling: she looked like an afraid little girl, sitting like this, with her hands folded on her lap and her eyes focussed on the floor. She did not show resemblance of the warrior she was. 

“Tell me”, he asked, as he wrapped an arm around her frame and rested his head on her shoulder while apparently mindlessly caressing her covered upper leg, “why are you here?” 

“I...” she stalled. She could not believe he was asking her this. Her lips moved like they wanted to form words, but nothing came from her mouth. “You...” Following yet another pause: "why...?"

A sigh left her body.

“You cannot hide from me. Your body can't, nor can your mind” as he pressed the top of his bold head against her neck, and stroked her shoulder with his cheek. If she would not known better, she would believe she felt him purr.

“You brought me here” she responded with a  voice as steady as she could muster. 

“No, little one. I won't believe that" as he kissed her covered shoulder. "You would not let yourself be captured if you truly did not wanted to" followed by a shy kiss to the bottom of her neck. "You would not have let yourself be branded as mine, if you would not have yearned for it" as his lips touched the carving in her neck. "You would rather take your own life than to be here, with me, if you did not want to be here” as he licked the wound.

He looked up to her and smiled with his black teeth, while he squeezed her hip: “tell me that isn't true. Tell me you would never allow me to best you wilfully.” He saw her eyes meet his gaze briefly, only to escape again. “Convince me of that, and I will let you go." He threw one arm in the room, to emphasise this statement. "I will place you outside the gates of the palace, with a new suit, and you are free to go, as my fellow respected warrior.”

A small huff left him, as he placed his hand back on her lap: "I will give you a head start, before I start to hunt you again, of course. You still need to repent after all." She saw a sparkle in his eyes. She knew that every outcome of what would happen, would be to his delight and manufacture.

He placed his soft lips back on her neck and repeated softly: “convince me, little lady. Tell me you don't want to be here.” 

She sniffed as if to reluctantly confirm what he had concluded earlier. “That is what I thought. You are here. You want to be here. You know you need to be here” as he wrapped his finger around a long curl that surrounded her bosom. “Be here, with me”, his finger moving to her collarbones, following the soon to be scar he had left up to her ear. "To be mine. To have. To hold. To teach. To mold. To break. To become my darling." He moaned at the thought. "Isn't that a delicious idea, my lovely? Wouldn't that make you happy? Sooth the urges that brought you onto my lap? To allow you to sooth my urges that you brought onto my lap?"

Pursing his lips, he forced her to look at him, while his eyes glanced down her gown at her chest. “Now, tell me. Did your friends know you are a woman?” he asked, while plucking at dress to get a better view, already knowing the answer. 

“No”, she confirmed, not entirely sure where this conversation would end. 

“Hmm. And have you ever been with a man?” he continued, again, already familiar with the answer. His precious lips met her ear, as she felt his warm breath flowing over her. She did not answer, but let out a small gasp as she closed her eyes. “You can tell me. I don't judge” a smoky voice said, as he started to unbutton the front of her barely-there dress. 

Automatically her hands tried to pry his hands away, causing him to grab her hands and place them on his chest. "No" as he looked at her sternly. “This is where your hands belong. For now. I will teach you.” Glancing at her: “because you are here to be taught. Aren't you? My little Fremen student.” 

With her hands carefully gracing the muscles she had felt days ago, they started roaming him. Feeling him, as if to verify the map planted in her head days ago. Hearing him moan agreeable to her actions.

“You would not give yourself to just any man" he said dead serious. "No. You were waiting for me” he stated. No question, no uncertainty. A mere statement. 

“Now tell me, what have you experienced with other men?” while he continued to pluck at her garment.

Naively she responded, unconsciously raising her fingers while she listed: “I have eaten, trained, planned, sparred, fought, killed with other men. I have killed other men.” 

“I know that, my delightful warrior" as his mouth uncovered one of her shoulders. "But what else? Has a man ever kissed you? Touched you. Licked you? Bitten you? Been in you? Filled you? Deviled you?”

“Uh... well, their knives have been” she responded ever so naively. “You have seen my scars. You have placed another one on my body.” 

He aggressively grabbed her face to look at her, only to conclude, with surprise: “you are serious?” 

Terrified by this sudden change in atmosphere, she nodded her head, surprised by the look on his face.

“You have no clue, do you?” looking at her doe eyes. “You are so sweet.” He whispered, to himself: "you are a little present. Mine to unwrap for the first time to and play with." Grabbing her a bit firmer, to prevent her from escaping, placing his soft lips on her ear again, he whispered: “I was planning on shackling you to my bed, with the cuffs you managed to avoid. Two bands to contain your wrists" as he touched one of her wrists, "two around your ankles" as he touched her knee, "and a last one around your neck” as he circled this hand upwards, to rest all digits around her neck. He felt her tensing. “Rip the clothes of your body. Have you lay there, not being able to move, while I explore every bit of your body. Fuck you with the back of my knife. Hmm, your own knife would be better. Both. Get you to bleed for me while I carve the rest of you with my blade. Enjoy your body up to the point where you beg for me to bring you pleasure or death, only to deny you both, repeatedly." He was clearly delighted with his own nasty words: "I was planning on doing vile things to you. Walk you on a leash through the palace, whip you until you are as red as blood, take you from behind while denying you air, get you to beg to hold my cock in your mouth" as he softly clenched his hand around her neck. "Which you would get, eventually. Well, your throat to be exact" as he pressed each of his fingers a bit deeper. "To fuck you so long that you shiver into unconsciousness.” 

He looked at her shocked face, knowing that she was visualising what he was painting in front of her: “but you do not know which pleasures I mean. You are still untainted." Placing his face in her hair: "you are so pure. So sweet. All for me."

Stroking her hair, while he pushed his face harder against her, he asked with a soft voice: "do you know what fucking is? Do you have any idea?"

"Uhm.. yes. I think so. It is when people push each other" she tried to explain, as truthfully as she dared.

His laughter filled the room, as he was planning on filling her as well. "You are something special. I have never had a pet so unfamiliar with the ways of this world." He kissed her as gently as he could, as if to make her feel comfortable with her lack of knowledge.

He placed one hand on each of her thighs and abruptly pulled them apart. One of her hands was led to his ever growing manhood, after which he pushed her dress up to uncover her entire legs. Moving her panties to the side, he pushed two fingers in her, as she gasped with the speed that all of this was happening. Clinically he said while staring at her: "this here, my dearest" as he pulled his fingers in her up, touching a source of pleasure "is your pussy. I have been longing to be in there, ever since you were here in this very room nights ago. I knew you were a woman when I layed eyes on you. I could smell it." He gruffed: "you are now holding my cock, which by the way you may squeeze a bit harder."

To reward her compliance he hummed: "very good. You learn quickly."

He continued: "not only my fingers want to be in you. My tongue wants to steal all your moisture, that is so precious to you Fremen. My cock longs to be in you, to see into your core. In each of your three holes to be exact. And that is why you are here. Because you want my cock to fill you. To fuck you. Which I am happy to oblige."

By the time his monologue was done, he felt her breath having risen to the top of her chest, her face became very blushed and his fingers started to be soaked.

It caused him to declare solemnly: "it will be my duty to teach you, to initiate you, to taint you. I take my role as governor of this planet quite serious.” 

He forcefully grabbed her neck with his free hand to roam his teeth across, and growled with a deep voice that scared her: “I usually find it to be quite boring if they are not trained for my preferences." Moving to a softer voice: "but I will make an exception for you. Because you have surrendered to me, so sweet, so innocent” as he placed his lips on hers, tilting her head back and forcing her to open her mouth. A rush came over him, as she responded and welcomed his tongue. She had potential. 

Holding her tight, he stood up to bring her to his dreaded bed. This would not end here. 

+++

Next parts listed on my pinned post