#but it's like. a little frustrating (and some other emotion i can't articulate) seeing people just completely unable to like. understand?

[kalkydra]

"oh my god what kind of mother would put the man she's fucking ahead of her kids' safety????" well the thing is that that happens way more often than you seem to think

[wordstome]

i’m here to encourage you to please elaborate on singledad!könig

also, do any of their kids have any scuffles with each other? how do the parents and children deal with it?

This ask was sent 10 minutes after the dream daddy post went up. Anon, I adore you.

I was going to put single dad König in this same post, but then it started to go on and on, and I want to take my time with the second half of your ask as well, so all my König thoughts will go in a separate post. Thank you for enabling me :3

(also this is the post I lost 3 paragraphs worth of writing on. It was literally all of Price and Ghost's sections, so forgive me if they're not up to par).

Price: With three kids, there are bound to be spats. Brianna taking something of Alice's without asking, Clara ruining one of the older girls' possessions, etc. etc. People see Price with all girls and remark how peaceful his house must be, but Price (and anybody who has a sister) knows that is NOT true. The Price home is chaos interrupted by periods of peace. Luckily, their dad is a literal military captain, so he's able to whip them into shape. All manner of crying, yelling, and shrieking can be silenced with one singular "GIRLS!" from the man himself. Then after that comes the soothing and the stern talking-tos.

Ghost: I think Simon was great with kids pre-Roba, he had Tommy and then his nephew Joseph. But post-Roba and his work in the special forces, he's much more rough around the edges. Like I said in the main post, Caden is a pretty quiet kid, so I can't see him starting or getting into any trouble. But he is still a 10 year old, so I can see him throwing a fit when he's frustrated or uncomfortable. If this happens in public, Simon will pull him aside and talk to him quite sternly, especially if Caden is making a ruckus as an emotional outlet. In private, he gives Caden space to let it all out, and then talks to him afterwards. However, if Caden can articulate what's upsetting him, he's very gentle and understanding. One way or another, I can see Simon getting help with his PTSD, so he uses a lot of techniques that his therapist taught him with Caden.

Soap: I imagine Elodie as about 6-7 years older than Thomas, who is a literal baby, so I can't see that they get into any fights. Mostly Elodie getting cranky about Thomas getting all the attention, at which point Johnny has to reassure his daughter and give her some love as well. When they're older, Elodie is a classic older sister who fucks with her little brother. She's never truly malicious, but there are definitely times when Johnny's standing in front of them sighing and pinching his nose because Elodie's played a nasty prank on her brother. Johnny's a very picks-his-misbehaving-kid-up-like-a-doll-and-gives-them-a-noogie kind of parent. He's never raised his voice at his kids, but instead has an "if what I think is happening is happening, it better not be" tone that instantly strikes fear into his kids' hearts. I can hear it in my head. I know you guys can hear it in your head too. 'Nuff said.

Gaz: It's hard to say what it's like when Kyle's kids fight: I can see Violet being the sort of girl who is quite close with her younger brother, so I can't really imagine a lot of scenarios in which they would fight. But Elliott is a younger brother and Violet is a growing teenage girl, so there have probably been a few times when Violet got mad at Elliott and screamed at him or said something that she regretted. Kyle and Emily will both scold the kids when they step out of line, and they both do their part when it comes to discipline. Kyle in particular is a very "I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed" sort of parent. He expects a lot of Violet, but sometimes that pressure can get to her.

König: This man is overwhelmingly soft for his daughter. The calmest, most gentle giant. I think out of all the dads he's most susceptible to spoiling her, which obviously could become a problem. He's incredibly lucky though, because Ava is an angel. She is spoiled, being an only child on her daddy's colonel salary, but she gives more "kind rich girl" vibes than "inconsiderate little brat". I'm going to elaborate more on this in the upcoming König post, but he's got this deep sadness to him because he lost his wife. Ava is a pretty perceptive child, so she doesn't act out unless she's having a really hard time, in which case König is nothing but soothing and reassuring.

Horangi: If Ryujin (Hong-jin's daughter) has beef with you, he's kicking your ass right alongside her. When she was young, she was fully capable of both starting and finishing fights, and Hong-jin was an incorrigible enabler who was more likely to double over laughing than scold his daughter. Her mother usually had to be the disciplinarian. Hong-jin and Ryujin have a complicated relationship, but in adulthood, they're pretty even keel, and have grown even closer since the death of Ryujin's mom.

Keegan: Jason and Cecelia have been through a lot together, so they don't really fight. When they do though, it's nasty, and Keegan serves as more of a go-between than a disciplinarian role. Both of them will seek advice from him, but he understands that they know each other better than he does. Not for lack of trying, of course, but it's inevitable with older adoptions. His role comes from having more life experience, and he's got a kind of impenetrable chill that makes everybody a lot calmer.

[a-libra-writes]

I absolutely love all of your Mordecai stories! Could you write one where reader is specifically male and how that would affect the relationship? Or a more general scenario where Mordecai makes a habit of fixing reader’s appearance for symmetry, definitely not because he wants an excuse to stand so close to them.

hhhhhh okay i had to prioritize this because i just. i have so much brainrot about this stupid hitman esp with a male partner in particular !!! This will be adjacent to the part 3 of Romantic HC's with him (and I included ur cute symmetry idea in that one instead!) I have a lot of thoughts..

First off, I HC him as gay ace, and that is what I tend to go off whenever I write him. These are my own thoughts and obvs yall can have something totally different! With that said...

He would be slightly more open and have an easier time getting to know a man, simply because of the socialization and gender expectations in the 20's. With women he's always been uneasy because of the unspoken, unknown "expectation" of interacting with them. (though if she wasn't ladylike at all and toted around a gun or dressed masc he'd probs feel otherwise, see him interacting fine with Serafine). Again, 1920's socializing acting as if women are an entirely different creature from men and should be treated as such. So, he'd be a little more accepting of touches and attention from a man because that's more familiar, but we're talking 10% more. Not a huge jump.

As stated in the previous HC's, this is still years of building trust between the two of you before he's willing to acknowledge any feelings. If you're openly gay or bi during this time, he's never been judgmental about it like some might be. Actually, Mordecai doesn't think about your potential love life in the slightest, at least until you two begin to get closer. Then suddenly he's thinking about it.

Attraction has never been something he's experienced, at least not in the way he's heard men talk about women (which, ew, that kind of talk is disgusting). But as you two become closer, he develops emotional and physical attraction toward you; both are confounding and frustrating. It's less sexual attraction and more a very intense physical admiration, even if that person doesn't have conventionally attractive features.

(Personally I think he'd be very attracted to either a very tall and muscular type - similar to Viktor - or a smaller, slender more "pretty" kind of guy. Two opposites on a spectrum, which he admires for different reasons.)

Regardless, it's awful, Mordecai has no idea why this is hitting him just now in his mid-fucking-20s after a whole adolescence of not seeing people that way. The physical admiration comes and goes, but the emotional attraction always hits him like a train when you're both together.

This is probably Totally Normal for close friends who are also comrades that murder people together. This is fine.

Note it's possible you have plenty of other admirers, which gives him even more agitated and conflicting feelings. If it's women fawning over you - even if you aren't interested - that's easy for Mordecai to deal with. Women have bothered him plenty of times, at least until they realize how cold and awkward he is and give up. He doesn't understand why you have to smile and flirt back, but, well, at least that doesn't upset them ....

Men flirting with you is a bit of a different story, especially if you've always been open and comfortable with your own sexuality. The women seem harmless, the men do not. You have this ease and freedom with them that Mordecai doesn't understand and somewhat envies. He can't brush off their attention as being "silly" like the women are; they don't just want to dance with you. It agitates him so much and he struggles to fully articulate why. Maybe a small voice in his head tells him that if he were more normal, maybe you might be just as attentive to him. That you have expressed your trust and affection to him, but he struggles in returning it, so it's no wonder you might seek it elsewhere.

In this time period, there's incredibly little understanding around the concept of asexuality (and even then, it's written as though it's a disease or mental failure). Mordecai has certainly never heard of such things, and he's never struggled with his lack of sexual attraction until his feelings began developing for you. This is why he becomes so jealous if you're free with your love and attention to others. Before you both were ever a real "thing" (but the feelings were very much there, hanging unspoken between you), Mordecai would start huge arguments about whoever you'd be sleeping around with. He hadn't cared for years, and now he does? Seriously, if you smell like another man Mordecai goes from 0 to 100 and barks at you to wash up. You point out that Viktor always smells like sawdust and oil but Mordecai doesn't shove him into the bathroom.

Viktor thinks whatever you two have going on with these spats is just weird. More than once he's yanked you both by the neck and tossed you out of the garage for being so noisy.

(Note if you're someone whose on a similar wavelength as Mordecai, or you simply don't enjoy sleeping around with strangers and prefer close connections, that jealousy simmers down considerably. No, these are not healthy reactions or feelings he has. He has never been a well-adjusted individual. )

Once you both are more of an established ""couple"" (if thats what this strange long-term pining and angsting and yearning that's finally become something of a real Thing can be called), Mordecai still wouldn't consider himself "like that". Not because of shame of being gay, but because he genuinely hasn't felt this way toward anyone, man or woman. You're his exception. He likes you.

All the drama aside... Because of the odd nature of you and Mordecai's relationship, plus his closed-off personality and the odd hours you two keep, no one actually suspects the relationship is romantic for a very long time. Mitzi and maybe Atlas have caught onto something, especially if you're open about your attraction to men, but they assume it's a one-sided crush on your part. Viktor is the only one who picks up that Mordecai might feel the same, and only because he's around you both so often and he sees the odd looks and lingering touches - and notably, how you two interact with him is very different with how you interact with each other. Not his business, but he'd protect you both in a heartbeat. Viktor never says it out loud, but he's aware of other associates or employees who may not be accepting of you two and could be a potential threat. He watches them very carefully.

(And related to that - Atlas doesn't think twice about taking you in and treats you with just as much respect as his other employees, which would be remarkable for a known gay man in the 20's. That's probably how he got you signed onto being a triggerman...)

And related to any threats, Mordecai will go fucking feral on anyone who tries to threaten or hurt you for your sexuality. It doesn't matter if you're playing it cool or ignoring them, he's already got his gun out. Viktor will join in too, but he at least asks if you want to kill them or "just" scare them shitless.

So, in closing ... Yes, the relationship would be a little more complicated with a masc person vs a femme because of the time period and the lack of vocabulary+understanding of Mordecai's own identity. A person whose experienced and very comfortable in their own skin would help him out a lot, whether they're asexual or allosexual, someone whose willing to just sit and talk these things out (even if sometimes he's mortified to even bring it up). If the person is just as questioning and confused, well, it might end up more chaotic, hah.

[juuheizou]

yo we know that juuzou doesn't really talk about his feelings but do you think w a significant other like mutsuki he would perhaps be more open?🤔 do you imagine they having late night deep conversations and moments of emotional vulnerability? if so, how does that go? like with all development he's got, how does juuzou talk about his feelings/vent and is open to emotional comfort? how do these moments happen?tysmm in advanceee💘

I don't think it will ever be his first instinct-- he just reads to me as someone who tends to try and pick apart his problems and figure out what to do about them on his own, on the occasion that he realizes he has a problem, and more than being particularly reserved, he just doesn't think to share and involve other people unless there is something practical he knows he needs from them. But I can see that being a skill he gets better at, specifically with Mutsuki as his partner in practicing it more.

Mutsuki, as we know with other characters, can not just read people who do everything in their power not to be read, but has the kindness and the empathy-used-for-good to engage with them in a way that can literally calm the savage beast. Suzuya might be another hard read, though in a different way than Urie, but especially once they grow close, Mutsuki can tell when he's upset behind the nonchalant smile and when a simple 'do you want to talk about it?' can dramatically alter the course of how Suzuya was going to handle whatever is bothering him. And it's not like he actively avoids sharing with people he trusts, so a lot of the time all Suzuya needs to open up in that way is for someone to put the thought in his head.

When Suzuya does talk about his feelings, he is a fun mixture of open and direct while also experiencing legit alexithymia and just not having the same emotional reaction to some things that his peers do. He might struggle to label his feelings as happy, sad, angry, and sometimes all he knows is what he wants to do about them. So I can see Mutsuki gently insinuating the idea into his head that maybe they should talk about something, then Suzuya just drops a bomb like 'this other senior investigator I'm stuck sharing this case with has been barring all my ideas. Sometimes things were easier when other people were just something to stab hundred times and watch them die,” or “I put down this cat I had for three years, and Shinohara probably isn't gonna make it just like my cat, so maybe I would like curling up and dying too,” as casual as someone says they've been feeling a little down lately.

Mutsuki is just as kind and (even if he doesn't really understand, he will fake it until he does) understanding as ever and will follow whatever lead Suzuya gives him deeper and deeper. Sometimes Suzuya's way of articulating his feelings can be hard to hear, but he still musters up a calm 'that must be so sad to go through all at the same time. For what it's worth, I would really miss you if you curled up and died.' And they just keep going back and forth talking until Suzuya feels better or gets worked up enough to beat up one of his pillows or throw a stuffed animal or something cathartic he needed to do to start feeling better. His arms are open when Suzuya gets all his thoughts out and needs a hug.

Suzuya is a smart cookie in his own way and can usually figure out solutions to things he can in fact solve (and work himself up into meltdown-level frustration trying to solve things he can't) on his own or with just an opportunity to talk himself through his thoughts with someone who will listen, but if he is really stuck enough to seek out an answer, which is REALLY stuck because underneath his outer appearance of indifference he is REALLY stubborn about things that actually matter to him, sometimes what he needs is a more Mutsuki-like idea for what to do. He always has a solution, sometimes unsolicited and unwanted, when Mutsuki has something to cry on his shoulder about, and in turn Mutsukki does his best to offer suggestions.

The first time he comes to Mutsuki on his own just to talk, Mutsuki definitely noticed it more than Suzuya did and really took it to heart that talking to him is on Suzuya's list of ways he can fix his problems. And, at that point in their relationship, that he actually has things of value to help Suzuya with, rather than Suzuya always coming to his rescue for nothing in return. I can see them occasionally having deep talks late at night or at the dinner table. Not super often, but I can see it happening when a situation at work or in life demands it.

[titoist]

a desire for affection is not psychosis, it is human. (ignoring for a minute that psychosis, too, is rather human.) you are someone who has been starved of the affection you required for much of your life. it is not strange or desperate or pathetic for you to want it, even if that wanting seems beyond your control or makes you act in ways you can't understand. you deserve to have it

i'm not sure what the purpose of writing this out, is. since it's not a traditional reply. i think i just feel like writing it.

for the last three days, i've developed the routine of flipping a coin in the morning, afternoon, & night (or only in the morning, or only at night, dependently) to see, in that moment, if i should check/click on my asks bar & see what was written. the general conceit was: if it lands on tails, i check it. if it lands on heads... it lives to be unseen another day (or, at least, until i get the urge to flip it once more) it landed on heads 8 times. obviously, at that point, i had grown to be exasperatedly frustrated with it, & steeled myself to check the ask just to see what all the hubbub was about, just to spite the coin.

i opened it with a sort of hesitant tinge of caution, like i was 'doing something forbidden', or had become ethically compromised in some absurd way - & the coin tosses ended up being completely & totally irrelevant, just a totally excessive layer of obfuscative interfacing between me & this benign, reaffirming message, feeling the hesitancy all-at-once melt into a puddle on the floor, only in that moment being able to see the fear all-too-clearly as the totally ridiculous thing it was

i had been totally steeled & prepared to read something maliciously, totally cruel - such that i was already drafting contingencies in my mind for the severity of the cruelty. "well," i figured. "if it ends up being what is essentially an unintentional cruelty - a kind of unfortunate accident in the way they expressed themselves, e.g expressing a sort of non-aggressive bewilderment or instinctive degree of discomfort with something i wrote, & just being unable for whatever reason to express it in a way that didn't come off as being a bit like a condemnation - then i will simply be able to say that it's not really malicious, just an example of the fluidity & unpredictable dynamism of human contact, which i can do little about either way." "on the other extreme of that spectrum," i continued negotiating to no one in particular. "if it is hideously and intentionally cruel - in a way where it'd take some degree of mental gymnastics to argue that it Wasn't sent with the intent of cultivating some type of negative emotional reaction - then i will at the very least be able to find solace in the idea that it will sort of help me 'grow through hardship' in a vague, indescribable way. that it will, to a certain extent, 'articulate my life story'." this was just the reality of the situation. i dared not even consider any other possibility.

thank you. true love is possible in this world - not only in the next, not only with new people.

[stars-in-a-jam-jar]

Okay the title track for the album is actually really fucking good Except (I suspect I will be saying this a lot just based on these two songs going in)

So like as someone who's been listening to Taylor Swift music since I was in the second grade and has called myself 'ontologically a Swiftie' on a livestream before, I know this woman's writing style quite well. The inclusion of the 'who uses typewriters anyway' line was a mistake I think.

Like it's very in line with how Swift enshrines very simple small real moments inside of flowery artistic casings that Makes You Feel Things when in their proper context and usually opens on a setpiece or single moment before telling you 'so here's why that mattered and why I wanted you to see that' (think the build from a very straightforward description of a two second exchange 'drew looks at me, i fake a smile so he can't see' into the sweeping 'he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar, the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star') And the reason I think this tried and true habit has worked against her in this song is because that structure works really well for unfolding drama out of something ordinary or revealing depth that would otherwise go unseen, But This Song Isn't About That.

'You left your typewriter in my apartment' implies a breakup has just happened. Already the questions go 'How does the speaker feel?' 'How did this breakup happen?' 'Why would he leave an entire typewriter? Of all the things to leave behind?' and that opening verse ends with an implication that this sort of thing has happened between the two of them before ('I've seen this episode and still loved the show') so now we at least know why the typewriter was so easy to leave behind. Because he doesn't believe he'll be gone forever, but for whatever reason he wants to Be Gone.

The inclusion of a line as small and casual as 'who uses typewriters anyway?' destroys the tone and energy within that first verse, because why is THAT your primary salient thought as you look at this thing that used to belong to your boyfriend??? The idea here -I believe- was to be a small moments kind of deal. It's such a small snippy little thing that she'd 'never say', but he's gone and it's frustrating and she has a lot of emotions and all she can think is 'who uses typewriters anyway?' BUT THIS IS SOMEONE YOU'VE CLEARLY KNOWN LONG AND DEEP ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT IT'S HIM!!!! HE'S THE ONE WHO USES TYPEWRITERS AND YOU APPARENTLY DISLIKED THAT THIS WHOLE TIME????

And the clearly intended answer is 'no, it's not the using the typewriter the speaker dislikes, it's the things the speaker has attached to her boyfriend's use of the typewriter. His Tortured Poet's Department Ass Behaviour that causes her so much grief.' but if that's the case, framing a sentiment like that inside of 'who uses typewriters anyway' is ridiculously juvenile, especially for this subject matter. She is stamping her foot and humphing and going 'I never ever liked his dumb stupid typewriter and he went and left it here.' and that is deeply incongruous with the rest of the picture Swift builds with the music and her delivery and the subject of the song itself, which is a very fraught relationship between a pair of people who're Clearly Depressed and probably have other shit going on too. (which the speaker says is 'meant to be; 'cause we're crazy', which I am Very Not Here For)

Also the chorus reminds me of a really specific interpretation of Bakugo from My Hero Academia in a fanfic I read once, where he and Izuku haven't spoken In Years and then he catches wind that Izuku is trying to do some form of heroics, and with his now at-least-slightly-better skills of articulation as an adult makes it clear he hates this at least a little because he doesn't want Izuku getting hurt because at this point in his life he actually Worries A Lot About Him (perhaps out of guilt), but more primarily and far longer because he's decided it's His Job to be The Hero between the two of them and Izuku doesn't have a right to it.

And I feel like when your moody rich-kid-depression piece about two people who Have Problems but have devoted themselves to one another reminds me of a My Hero Academia fanfic with an entirely different tone and focus, you've missed the mark.

Some of my moots take delight in clowning on Taylor Swift and I never intended to listen to her latest album, but at this point I wanna listen to it just to see if I sincerely agree with the clowning this go around, because it's been Way More Than Normal and these out of context lyric snippets are Downright Baffling.

[missmonsters2]

—ADRONITIS | One

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x OFC/Fem!Reader

Summary: Wednesday's quite aware she has no people skills, but that doesn't stop her from wondering why she can't know everything about one person immediately.

Warnings: None.

Series Masterlist || Library Blog || AO3

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Count: 1.9k

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Adronitis: noun. The frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

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Everyone who knows Wednesday can confidently say she's not a people person, and even Wednesday herself can tell you she's not. People are strange, annoying, emotional creatures that she's fairly certain she lacks a particular trait to handle. 

Of course, some individuals have unfortunately made it past her prickly walls. Her roommate and begrudgingly best friend, Enid, can be tolerated in longer spurts. Eugene is just another Pugsley, so she has to look after him. She supposes Xavier isn't dreadful to deal with. Now. 

Would Wednesday commit first-degree murder for them? Yes, but that's not the point. 

The point—what was the point? 

Wednesday internally huffs with annoyance. She's an articulate person, but lately, she isn't. 

Reluctantly, Wednesday's eyes trail to the side, where she sees her reason for inarticulation. 

"Ah, so this is why you're sitting in the courtyard today," Enid smiles innocently, but Wednesday can see the knowing look in her eyes and purses her lips in a scowl as her eyes return to her book. She's finally gotten her hands on Goody's spellbook, and she's been trying to finish reading it for weeks. 

But alas...she's been...distracted.

"I don't blame you," Enid sighs as she looks over to where Wednesday was just gazing. "Everyone's looking at our resident Faerie. I wish she'd sit at our table today."

Wednesday silently agrees but tells herself she didn't. But she did. It's been nearly a week since you've sat with their tiny group of weirdos. Heroes, but weirdos. 

Today, you're sitting with the fangs, and Wednesday just can't fathom why. She gets your little rotation schedule, but vampires were so overrated, and from the small conversations she's heard here and there—incredibly boring.

Who cares about their diet? Wednesday thinks they lack innovation if their only choices are humans or animals (because, quite frankly, another outcast could kick their ass).

Yet, you sit there, smiling serenely and nodding with genuine interest. You ask questions and laugh at their witless jokes, and it drives Wednesday crazy.

Wednesday doesn't understand your sense of humor. Although, no one understands Wednesday's sense of humor either. That's usually the pattern. Sometimes, it feels like you and she are two sides of the same coin. 

You're both very different at Nevermore. While you're both outcasts within the outcasts, it's not the same. Whereas Wednesday didn't understand people, and they didn't gravitate toward her, people seemed to argue for your time.

Hence, why you sat at a different lunch table every day. 

Wednesday's mind drifts as she frowns. There's little known about Faeries as they're usually recluses, and there are so few of them. Especially night faeries. 

But now, it makes her wonder. Are Faeries like sirens? Do they lure everyone in their proximity without choice? That would certainly make more sense on Wednesday, and it would explain her recent behavior. 

Wednesday frowns deeper. Principal Weems has already sternly told others that while the Faeries are extremely beautiful and charming, they have no such powers. 

So, Wednesday was at a loss. She was beginning to think this school was designed to be the bane of her existence. Unwillingly, her gaze drifted again, but this time, you turned your head simultaneously and caught her eye.

You smile soft and sincere but unobtrusively at her, and Wednesday looks away, her face impassive. 

It wasn't unusual. 

This was exactly how all her interactions with you went. Very often, no words are exchanged, but you smile and wave at her as you pass by in the hallways. You greet her warmly when you sit at their table or in class. 

"Your unhappy face is showing," Enid points out, a slight upward quirk on her lips as she bites into her sandwich.

"This is always my face," Wednesday deadpans. 

"No, it's not," Enid shakes her head confidently. If there's one thing Enid can say, she stares at Wednesday a lot, so she knows her roommate very well. "You tilt your chin down and glare through your eyebrows more than look through them. It's very protruding," Enid points directly at Wednesday's eyebrow and forehead. "See? Unhappy face."

Xavier is looking at her through his apple, using it to shield how he's holding back his laughter as he grins at her. 

Wednesday relaxes her brows, her eyes becoming less narrow before she raises her brow at Enid. "Then what face is this?" The werewolf ponders her roommate's face and then sighs like she's been chastised. 

"General distaste," Enid mutters, but then she brightens as she looks up. "Oh, Fae is coming over here!" 

"Why do you insist on calling her that when she has a name?" Wednesday asks. You never seem mad about it, and it's not like Wednesday would care if people walked around calling her witch instead of Wednesday, but it's another thing she doesn't understand.

"Hm," Enid hums. "I guess it just became a nickname when she came. I mean, I guess it's kind of weird to call someone by their creature name...should we try to come up with a new one for her?"

"Whatcha guys talking about?" You smile as you approach. You've got a grape lollipop in your mouth given to you by one of the shapeshifters. Xavier and Eugene move over so you can sit down, directly facing Wednesday. "Hi, Wednesday," you say her name so casually, staring at her until Wednesday nods in acknowledgment. 

She's tense as she grips the edge of her book tightly. Her eyes are steadfastly attached to the pages even if she's not reading them. 

"We're talking about how everyone started to call you Fae," Enid grins, her smile wide and excited, but then frowns. "I hope it doesn't bother you."

You hum for a long moment, a sound that Wednesday hangs onto. She can see you through her peripherals. You seem in deep thought, and Wednesday can't understand why it's taking you so long to decide whether it bothers you. She wants to tell you to hurry it up so she—they can have the answer.

"I supposed it started when one of the psychics saw me in person, and all he could stutter out was 'Fae' over and over," you shrug.

"Feeble-minded," Wednesday mutters, and you smirk at her, and now she's wondering what exactly that could mean. 

"It doesn't bother me," you continue on. "I mean, I guess it's fine since there are no other faeries at the school, but it might be confusing when there are. I can't exactly go around calling on a person wolfy when that could be any of the werewolves here."

They all nod, except Wednesday.

"We should try to find a new nickname for you!" Eugene exclaims, emboldened by your friendliness to him. "How about nightcrawler!"

"As enchanting as that is, I'm going to have to veto that one," you give him a wry smile. He slumps in defeat while Xavier gives in a pat on the back.

"Oh," Enid squeals excitedly, and Wednesday shirk and winces at the sound. "We could all try to find a new nickname for you until we get the right one!"

"And why should we if Fae says it doesn't bother her?" Xavier asks as he turns over and gives you what Wednesday believes he thinks is a boyish smile. 

"Spoken like a true simpleton," Wednesday cut in, still not looking up. "Will that be your new nickname?"

"Ouch," Xavier laughs, the insult falling off his back. Although, he doesn't doubt that's his contact name on Wednesday's phone. "Alright, I get it. Fine, the person who gets their nickname chosen gets Fae's number. How's that?" He looks over to you, and Wednesday snaps her head up, finally to look at you too. 

You seem pensive. Another thing Wednesday knows but doesn't understand. It's getting irritating with how many things are adding up that Wednesday wants to know now and can't. 

Nobody in the school has your number though they all see you on your phone as you stroll down the hallway. Wednesday has heard you turning people down when they ask for your number, citing how there've been too many requests, and the number of texts or calls you'd get would be too overwhelming. So, now it's been an unspoken rule between the school that no one gets your number if they cannot all have it. 

You peer over at Wednesday, and she doesn't flinch away from your gaze. She refuses to lose whatever staring game you've created.

"Okay," you acquiesce, staring at Wednesday for a moment longer before standing up. "I'll see you guys in class. I'm going to see if the shapeshifters have more grape lollipops. They're my favorite."

Grape lollipops are your favorite. Is it just the lollipop, or is it grape in general?

"Well, this should be fun," Enid bounces her seat before she looks at Eugene. "I'm going to have to say it's looking unlikely for you, bud."

"I have more ideas!" Eugene protests.

"Never accept defeat," Wednesday looks back at her book, inwardly frowning when she's still on the same page she's been trying to read for the last 20 minutes. "Would be an acceptable suggestion for me. Accept defeat in this case, Eugene."

There's more bickering at the table while Enid bumps her shoulder against Wednesday. "So? Are you going to try to come up with something and get Fae's number?" 

"No, it's a trivial matter. Why would I want it? The only time I ever use my phone is when you've dragged me into your 24/7 addiction and Xavier cries for my attention."

"I do NOT cry—"

"So, I have no need for it."

Plus, would you expect her to text you if she had your number? Would she even want to text you? Wednesday supposes it'd be an equal trade of information, so you'd have her number too. Should she expect you to text her?

Wednesday glances in her peripheral and sees you with another lollipop as you sit with the shapeshifters. You've got an apple in your hand, but you look at it blandly. 

Not a fan of apples, then?

Wednesday feels annoyance gnaw at her insides. It's not irregular for Wednesday to sometimes show interest in others. Knowing others is valuable information that can be used at a later date.

But why in the hell does it take so long to get to know someone? Why can't Wednesday just know all your deep, dark secrets first and then make her way out to the trivial things?

"What a shame," Enid sighs casually, looking straight ahead, but her eyes tilt to the side to stare at her gloomy roommate. "I think having a phone and texting is great! It's way faster to get to know someone over text since you can always be in communication. You know what else is a thing? At 2AM, people lower their guard down, and they're more likely to spill secrets."

Wednesday slams her book shut, standing up and leaving briskly.

Research is needed. Her father has few skills, but one of them is coming up with nicknames. That skill should undoubtedly pass on to her. 

Wednesday glances at you as she walks out of the courtyard. You look over at her and smile with a wave before turning back to your conversation.

Defeat is not in Wednesday's vocabulary. She will beat the constraints of time and know everything there is to know in haste. There will be victory, and it will be hers.

PART TWO

[bookwyrminspiration]

Requesting headcanons on how the characters would react to Tam randomly latching onto them because ;0;

yes! I would love to! I'm assuming this was in response to me saying I'd expect Tam to be very comfortable with close physical touch from growing up banished with Linh. Because I think they would've huddled together for warmth and comfort, and that would carry over into how he interacts with others.

(update I got a little away from the "latching on" prompt, but there's elements of that in there!)

Sophie:

oh she'd love it. she'd love it so much I can't even articulate it. She said herself (in book one) that her human family was very physically affectionate and she'd missed that in the lost cities.

she might be a little flustered and confused at first just because it's been so long since she got a solid hug or touch without something motivating it (like grief or pain)

but as soon as she realized he's just showing he cares in his own way she'd be like oh. oh. this is nice. please never stop. I am in desperate need of just cuddling someone without it meaning anything more

i may be biased because I love platonic Sotam, but I feel like Sophie is the person Tam would let himself get the closest to physically aside from Linh.

they feel like they'd lay their head in each other's lap

Biana:

they give me shoulder vibes, but just let me explain what that means.

Tam rests his arm on her shoulder and stands close to her, he stands behind her with his chin on her shoulder as he looks at what she's doing from behind. Biana rests her head on his shoulder.

Biana doesn't really know what to make of it but she's not opposed.

I imagine her just grinning at him and teasing him slightly, but she appreciates the sentiment and having someone there

she might think he's being protective at first and be a little insulted he thinks she can't protect herself, but coming to the realization it's both for her and him shuts her up.

he comes up behind her one day and rests his chin on the top of her head, hugging her from behind for a moment when she's frustrated and that's when she realizes just how much he's been unintentionally communicating with all the little moments

Keefe:

sleepy. they feel like sleepy cuddle people. Tam doesn't show any sign that he likes Keefe when he's awake but in the middle of the night Tam grabs his hand and scoots closer.

Keefe would be a little uncomfortable at first because he's never felt Tam's emotions before, but upon feeling them he'd just spend some time thinking it over.

because Tam wasn't feeling anything about it except trust. He latches on to people he trusts, and especially with Keefe it takes a lot to let someone else feel your emotions.

I feel like Keefe would be suspicious, waking up to find Tam right next to him, but he wouldn't move. He wouldn't disrupt it.

wrists. Tam grabs Keefe by the wrist to lead him away from a group of people when he sees him getting stressed.

Palm to palm is a lot sometimes for Keefe, so Tam grabs him by the wrist. and just that little detail shows how attentive and deliberate he's being. how he knows Keefe reacts more than him and is cautious about it

Fitz:

it starts with Tam fixing Fitz's hair. just a few strands falling out of place and Tam pushing them back into place without a second thought. Fitz stumbles over his words for a second before stopping entirely, glancing to Tam in question. but Tam doesn't acknowledge it, so he continues

and then it become more frequent, Tam adjusting his shirt and his crest and his cape

until the next time they're close together, and tam just leans against him on the couch, pressing their shoulders close during an uncomfortable conversation--maybe with the Black Swan or parents

and it's just a little "i'm right here, too." and Fitz doesn't want to respond out loud in front of everyone but he sends a little thanks mentally.

and after that one moment it's just second nature. Tam tosses his legs atop Fitz's when they're next to each other, they sit back to back when working on something on the floor.

they're not talking, but they're communicating. that they're there.

Dex:

floor. they lay next to each other on the floor and Tam grabs Dex's wrist when he starts to fiddle with something to keep him from accidentally hurting himself on the metal, because he's being reckless and not paying attention.

but tam is. he always is. and he grabs Dex's wrist just for a moment but it shows such awareness and unspoken care.

and when the two of them stay up late and fall asleep on that floor, Dex waked up to Tam's arm thrown over his chest, just a few inches away. it seems like he was almost pulling him closer, pulling him to his own chest for comfort.

and unconscious thing, and Dex with his wild family, is used to that kind of thing.

so he just laughs faintly to himself and presses closer, because it is a little chilly in his room.

they both feel like cuddlers. like full out cuddling on the floor.

this isn't all the characters but it just some of the ones I could imagine him actually being physically intimate with platonically! they're also the more popular characters, but that's because that's who Tam spends the most time with rn, as opposed to say Maruca or something.

but Tam being touchy from his childhood is something I absolutely love. all the secret meanings and little things revealed from the briefest of touches that fit how he actually interacts more than just saying he flops on top of everyone without reason

so good. I love him so much

[singofsolace]

In celebration (and mourning) of Jill Murphy, I am taking stock of my own relationship to The Worst Witch and what it has meant to me.

In light of the recent deaths of Jill Murphy, the author of The Worst Witch book series, and Una Stubbs, the original Mrs. Bat, I have a lot of feelings I'm working through this morning. I'm crying as I write this, so it might not be as eloquent as I want it to be. I'm sorry in advance.

It's hard to articulate what The Worst Witch means to me. I've read the books and watched both the 1998 and 2017 television series. They've provided me endless hours of entertainment and inspiration. I've spent countless hours writing stories inspired by Jill Murphy's creations, and I really can't express how much her work has helped me in my worst moments.

To this day, there is one scene that never fails to make me cry:

I remember how I felt watching this the first time. Seeing this scene unlocked feelings in me I had locked up for a long time. It showed me how an adult should handle a conversation like this, even though as a child, no adults in my life had ever treated me with this kind of respect. It showed me that it was possible for an adult to receive criticism--even criticism they disagree with (like when she reacts pretty strongly to Mildred saying that she doesn't like it when she shouts). No adult has ever in the history of my life accepted criticism like this without some sort of retaliation, deflection, or just complete denial. (Key example: "I didn't say that, but even if I did, I didn't mean it like that, and even if I did mean it, it was your fault because.... blah blah blah")

There was such a... I don't know... softness to this conversation, even as Miss Hardbroom is explaining all the reasons she gives Mildred a hard time. I love how Constance allows Mildred to have her say, because as a child, adults never treated me like my thoughts and opinions mattered to them. In this scene, Constance allowed Mildred the opportunity to criticize her freely. (My mother and father and teachers would never?!?!). It was nearly beyond my comprehension that an adult would do this. I'm crying harder just thinking about it, and that's that on childhood trauma.

Anyway, when the new Worst Witch series came out, I wasn't expecting to fall in love with it as much as I did, but Raquel Cassidy won me over as the new Miss Hardbroom. And when Pippa Pentangle was introduced, I fell hard for their beautiful, complicated, not-so-subtly sapphic relationship. And while I didn't enjoy where the series winded up going, I will always be grateful that the first two seasons of The Worst Witch exist for me to revisit whenever I desire.

And now, taking stock of my own writing, specifically my hicsqueak The Proposal fic, it occurs to me that the date I last updated it is significant. March 8, 2020. I stopped publishing the week before the world (or at least my small section of it) shutdown. I was teaching a college-level creative writing course at the time, and little did I know that after that week, I would never see my students in person again.

My world changed. Everyone's world changed. And I tucked the fic into a drawer, unable to look at it. I've revisited many times over the last year and a half, and even got donation-commissions to update it by several people (for my failure to do so, I am very very sorry). There was something about that fic that represented "before" for me. The Proposal was "before" everything fell apart. The Proposal was "before" I was separated from my students. The Proposal was "before" I was excessed and lost my teaching job. The Proposal was before I spent every day worrying about my extended family and friends falling ill with a virus I didn't understand. The Proposal was before I lost all faith in humanity, with people refusing to wear masks and get a vaccine simply because they didn't want to.

Before the pandemic, I truly believed that if a global crisis happened, people would go out of their way to help each other. I believed protecting our grandparents and the immunocompromised would be more important to people than the personal discomfort of wearing a mask, social distancing, and getting a vaccine to help protect yourself and others. I suppose you could say that over the last year and a half, I became completely disillusioned. I hated my neighbors more than I loved them. Huge rifts formed between family and friends over covid safety. My country saw the first NON-peaceful transfer of power in our nation's history. The Black Lives Matter movement made the nation confront centuries-long injustices that we still haven't been rectified or resolved.

The world came to a boiling point, and I thought, "surely, this can't last? surely, things will get better?"

They haven't.

It might sound silly, but for a year and a half, the failure to update this fic has been a major source of sadness and frustration for me, and I feel that it's very much related to having my faith in humanity completely ripped out from under me. The fic represents a part of my life I feel like I will never be able to return to.

And yet, here I am, sitting in the midst of a tropical storm, desperately wanting to return to my story, and crying over it rather than making any progress.

I don't know why I'm sharing this. But the news of Jill Murphy's death has triggered a lot of emotions I don't know what to do with. I'm sorry for rambling, but maybe someone will read this and understand.

[vinni-dragon]

Big ramble, 4am, bad formatting, etc. etc. I can get more into it with some prompting but rn I'm just gonna fuckin ramble until I lose my train of thought so PLEASE bear with me LMAO

All throughout DMC 5 it feels like Dante is just straight up not even in the same room as everyone else at any given moment. Like, Dante is an asshole. He's always been an asshole. But the way he just?? Blanks so many interactions in 5 is WILD to me.

It's hard for me to articulate in text, and is/has been waaaay easier to do it verbally when my sister and I are having our daily DMC bitch, but like? Like I guess a lot of the dialogue in DMC5 feels a little bit like nobody is listening to each other, and it probably comes off as nitpicky, but it's especially atrocious with Dante. Even moreso in the way he interacts with Nero.

Vergil appearing and Nero literally standing still, doing fuck all, and Dante getting smacked around and then turning to Nero (again, unmoving this entire time) and saying "Get out of my way Nero!" before proceeding to run past him because he already had plenty of space.

Or the way Dante knows from the beginning of 5 that Urizen is Vergil, and has known since 4 that Vergil is Nero's father, but withholds this information the entire time up until the very last possible moment. Then it's there that he crushes Nero with the reality that he's been deprived of a family for so long and now the only family he has is dead-set on destroying itself without him having any agency in the matter.

Dante chose to deprive Nero of a familial connection, and when he finally went back on that, it was to give him a reason why Nero shouldn't kill Vergil. (Which Nero didn't even express wanting to do?)

Like: "You can't kill your dad, but I can kill my brother."

As if Nero has ever been known to want to kill PEOPLE?

Even in 4, there are multiple encounters Nero has with Dante while Dante is still actively a threat to him and has his BACK to Nero, and Nero DOES NOT attack him or engage him violently. After Nero gets the Yamato, even when Dante is antagonizing him, he's more interested in just trying to avoid and get past him. Yes it's because it's more important to him to get to Kyrie, but we see the way he engages with real threats. He was only ready to fight Dante when Dante insisted on fighting him.

I'll also note I consider their first meeting where Nero goes absurdly all-out to be an outlier, because by Nero's perception, Dante just committed an act of terror by slaughtering a bunch of humans. And it's after this point that he's much more docile around Dante.

Nero is, for all intents and purposes, completely harmless unless provoked. He wouldn't even kill Agnus despite his multiple threats to do so, which almost got HIMSELF killed!

So for Dante to know this, and we know he knows this, and figure that Nero would still have his heart set on killing Vergil after learning that he was human? That they were family??? It's such a massive misstep.

I know that it COULD reasonably be Dante simply lacking the empathy to understand that Nero values family, but by expressing this principle that it would be wrong for Nero to kill his own father, it tosses that idea out the window entirely because it establishes some level of emotional intelligence that I simply refuse to believe ends at actually understanding Nero on an emotional level.

It's just something I find INCREDIBLY frustrating after a few playthroughs and really really thinking about it. Probably to the point of overthinking but, hey, that's what a hyperfixation does to a mf. I really love these characters so it makes me genuinely sad when I see such a greatly missed opportunity for them to connect.

The way Dante is able to be so cold even to Nero, it's like, heartbreaking. Which is awesome!!! But I don't think that that was the desired effect? Y'know what I mean?

AGAIN this is mostly a string of consciousness ramble, so I'm sorry if it's incomplete or makes no sense but I hope it gives some insight about how I feel ab Dante's DMC5 characterization. I don't think I did a great job explaining everything I feel since this is just one part of it, but y'know. 4am very tired blah blah blah.

I'm also definitely more than willing to talk at length about this when my hands don't hurt 😂

I completely understand why Dante comes off cold to Nico in the scene where she gives him Dr. Faust - he watched her grandmother die after growing very fond of her, and he also killed her biological father. It's awkward.

But that "you don't much look like her" comment was probably one of the biggest dick moves Dante ever pulled - and he's pulled a lot of dick moves!

[shadowmaat]

Racism and BoBF

I haven't watched Book of Boba Fett yet, mostly because I don't trust Disney to do justice to the character. What I've heard from folks who have been watching is encouraging, though. I'm still leery, but I may give it a shot.

It sounds like Temuera Morrison is being allowed input into the show, which is fantastic. There are a lot of Māori influences into who Boba is as a person and I LOVE the sound of that. I'm also liking what I've heard about the Tuskens and how they're being handled. Ep 1 reviews sounded discouraging, but- surprise- it seems it's going to be more layered than one single take.

The biggest problem I've seen so far is, of course, fandom. Middle-aged white men are furious at what Boba has become, with at least one going so far as to say that he was better "when the helmet stayed on."

I've also seen people- including white women- complain that he's "boring" now, that he's been "Disneyfied" (well, DUH), and that he's basically just "Mando Too."

Look. I'm a white girl (or girl-adjacent) too, but this is Red Flag territory. "Boring" is a label that gets applied WAY too often to Brown and Black characters. Witness white fangirl reactions to Finn, who wound up sidelined in his own goddamn movies to make more room for the white villain that the fangirls loved.

If you still want to call Boba "boring," that's fine, but I hope you're able to articulate WHY, other than "he just is." I can find similarities between him and some white characters who are incredibly popular, so there's gotta be something to make Boba different and less good, right? Maybe it's the same problem white fangirls had with John Boyega: they think Temuera Morrison can't act. That he doesn't emote as well. Uh huh. Sure.

I can see being frustrated with this version of Boba being "Disneyfied," because great and little gods do I hate how the Mouse tries to sanitize everything, but until someone else buys the franchise there isn't a heck of a lot that can be done. I am maliciously curious to see what happens with the Kenobi series and if Obi-Wan will suffer any Mouse-related clean-up efforts.

That being said, however, one of the things I like about this "new" Boba is that he's being given a chance to try a different path. I won't call it a "redemption arc" since that's a loaded and inaccurate term, but I think it's great that he's trying to be a good guy now. Or less bad, at any rate.

I've seen people be mad about that, too; that Disney took a great villain, removed all his teeth, and made him a generic hero instead. It's a complaint that sounds valid and could be valid in some cases. The thing is, though, that as much as fans wish they could ignore it, Boba Fett is a Brown man. Villainous Brown men getting a chance to balance out past mistakes isn't something we get to see often, especially not in the racist landfill known as Star Wars. It's important that Boba Fett in particular is getting this chance. Previously, in the SWCU at least, that's an opportunity that has only ever been given to white men.

So, no, I don't really see the problem with a bad guy trying to be good. Especially since there are eleventy billion stories featuring exactly that. And as much as I enjoy who Boba Fett was, I'm not sure he'd really qualify as one of the Greatest Villains of Star Wars. He was memorable, sure, but his appearances were as brief as his dialogue, and as soon as Lucas realized he was getting popular, he killed him off in as humiliating a way as he could.

There's a whole lot of drama surrounding the "original" version of Boba, the white nerdbros who projected themselves onto his blank slate to such an extent that the rest of fandom grew to hate him, and the selfsame white nerdbros who had a collective aneurysm when the PT revealed Boba to be a "whiny" little Brown boy.

He hasn't had a very good history; not in canon and not in fandom. It isn't really a surprise that fandom continues to have issues with him, but personally, I'm more inclined to listen to the nonwhite fans, most of whom have been wildly enthusiastic about BoBF for the representation, the touches to native culture, and the stances taken so far in regards to colonizers. Those are the voices that matter, and they're the ones telling me that maybe I should swallow my distrust of the Mouse and watch to see Boba does next.

One thing I've heard that does sound valid is that it feels like a big chunk of Boba's backstory is missing. That can be frustrating as heck, but one can certainly HOPE that it's something that will be explored in future eps and not, for example, in some bullshit tie-in material like a book or comic. I do agree it'd be nice to know more, though, and that it's a bit of a necessary item to link Then and Now.

[myngxy-sue]

What Friends Are For

A friend comes to help Lucifer after his disastrous marriage seemingly breaks him.

Pairings: Sue x Lucifer Word count: 2096 Chapters: N/A Genres: Angst, hurt/comfort Warnings: Implied self-harm, alcoholism and referenced cheating

She let out a soft gasp, slowly eyeing the bedroom Lucifer once effortlessly kept in immaculate condition be in a state of disarray, a room that reeked of alcohol and heartbreak. Bottles upon bottles were scattered all over the floor, all clearly from the most elite brands. There was a photo album amongst the bottles that was soaked in wine, clothes jumbled on the sofa and a wedding ring discarded on a table.

As her eyes rested on the bed, she saw a man whose very presence struck fear into those who uttered his name reduced to nothing more than a broken person trying to shield himself from the pain by cocooning himself in a blanket.

The sight of it all gave Sue a pained feeling in her chest. Sure, she may be Lucifer’s self-proclaimed rival but that didn’t mean she was heartless towards him. Their constant bickering and opposition was nothing more than harmless fun. She never wished to see Lucifer suffer, especially not like this. 

She approached the bed slowly, making sure to watch her step and not slip on one of the bottles. If it was the Lucifer she knew, he would’ve noticed her presence by now. Hell, he would’ve noticed long before she even opened the door. But that Lucifer was gone. When he’d return, Sue wasn’t sure. 

“Luce?�� Sue muttered, not really sure how to start the conversation.

“What are you doing here?” Lucifer whispered, not even bothering to turn to her.

Sue tightened her grip on her handbag. “I just wanted to check on you after… You know… What happened between you and Carmen… But if you want me to leave then I’ll just-”

“You can stay here if you want.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…”

Sue nodded, looked around awkwardly before spotting a nearby chair and bringing it over next to Lucifer’s bed.

“So…” Sue trailed as she sat down. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“What can you do for me?”

Sue shrugged. “I dunno… Just anything you want me to do, I guess…”

Lucifer shifted in his blanket, changing his position so he could face Sue. He exposed his face.  He looked like a mess. Too many strands stuck out of place, his eyes were red from all that useless weeping and the dark circles underneath somehow got even darker. His aura was stale. Then he hid again.

"There's no need to trouble yourself over me…" Lucifer said. "I'll take care of myself just fine."

"Lucifer, all you've been doing is drinking and staying locked up in your room." Sue pointed out.

"Do you expect me to do anything else?"

"Just anything but this…"

Lucifer let out a heavy sigh, probably wanting to say something but he remained silent. 

"You haven't been taking care of yourself, have you?" Sue fiddled with her fingers right after asking, knowing that it pretty much goes without saying.

"I just want to drink my sorrows away…"

Sue bit her lip before speaking again. "How about you just let it all out instead of drowning it in alcohol?"

Silence.

"You should just cry and vent your frustrations. It won't magically solve everything but it'll help you feel a little better."

"I cried enough when I kicked her out," Lucifer deadpanned.

"Are you sure?" Sue questioned quietly.

Lucifer curled himself up into the fetal position. "Why do you even care? Isn't this what you wanted? I'm at my lowest point, you should relish in it."

"I can't…" Sue admitted.

"Why not?"

"I just can't…" Sue said at first.

There was yet another moment of silence between them. Sue didn't want it to be like this but there was really nothing she could do. She'd probably say something wrong if she tried to break the moments of silence.

"I don't really hate you, Lucifer…" Sue said. "I don't think either of us do… I actually care about you a lot… I wouldn't be here if I didn't care…" She smiled weakly.

"Sue?"

"Yeah?

Yet another pause. "You won't mind holding my hand, would you?"

When he stuck his hand out from under the covers, Sue held it without hesitation. She noticed a fresh set of scars around his wrist but she didn't bring them up. Maybe another time, she thought to herself.

"You know what it's like to feel betrayed, right? Betrayed by the very two people you put most of your trust into?" Lucifer asked.

"Not really," Sue answered. "I mean, I know what betrayal feels like but it's nothing compared to how you're probably feeling."

"I can't help but feel like all of this is my fault…" 

"Why would you say that?"

When Lucifer didn't answer right away, Sue held his hand a little tighter, just as a way to tell him that she was all ears when she couldn't articulate her words.

"You were always my harshest critic. You should know what's wrong with me. But I can only do so much self-improvement with this sin of mine. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that I didn't change at all. Maybe that's why she started seeing Diavolo. He's everything I'm not, the perfect partner."

"It's not your fault this time," Sue assured him. "And even if it was, they'd still be at fault. There are just some things that can't be justified."

"And you say all of that despite knowing who I am?"

"Luce… You're not the man I used to know when I came down here…"

He peeked from under the covers.

"Back then, I didn't think my words would get to you at all. I mean, you are the Avatar of Pride and I thought your sin would make you blind to any sort of criticism, especially from a human like myself. But the moment you pulled me aside for my advice, I knew at that moment that you had what it took to be a better person."

"..."

"Diavolo and Carmen may have taken it for granted but everyone else took notice of your self-improvement. We're all proud of you, Lucifer. I don't know what your relationship with your brothers was like before the fall but it's better than what I was introduced to when I first arrived at Devildom."

Lucifer tightened his grip on Sue's hand, nearly crushing it, but he softened his grip after feeling her flinch in response. He began to shudder under the covers. Sue rested her free hand on his just so she could assure him.

"I broke my back for both of them, sometimes I put them above my own family, we made promises to each other and then they do this to me!" Lucifer finally wept. "Is loyalty something beyond their grasp? Fuck no, it isn't! They knew what they were doing to me, I'm fucking sure! Putting my trust into Carmen was one thing, but I've trusted Diavolo for thousands of years!"

"Yeah, I'm mad at them both but Diavolo disappointed me the most." 

"I wish I'd never made that promise to him! I wish I'd never met her! I shouldn't be hurting so much over them yet here I am!" He continued. 

"There's nothing wrong with feeling hurt. You've put your trust in them. They broke that trust. So, I say you can cry about it as much as you need to."

"God, I wish I could say more but I don't know what else to say… I just hate them! I hate them both!"

Sue nodded. "You can just cry about it."

And cry he did, releasing so much raw emotion that he would’ve kept to himself. Every once in a while, he had something to say. It wasn’t much but Sue listened regardless. It was usually him expressing his resentment towards Diavolo and Carmen. She just sat there, stroking his hand assuringly and taking in all the feelings he pours out. Time went by sluggishly. After a while, Lucifer stopped, finally freeing himself from his self made cocoon while still holding onto Sue.

Sue smiled at him weakly, pondering what to do or say next. “So, did you remember to drink any water?”

Lucifer shook his head quietly, looking around in disbelief. He too was shocked at what had become of his own living space. 

“I’ll bring you a glass,” Sue said as she stood up. “I’m guessing you haven’t eaten anything either.”

He shook his head again. “I didn’t feel like eating at all.���

“You should at least nibble on something, as a start.” 

Sue got him a tall glass of water and a cookie. She had to prevent the demon from drinking all the water too quickly lest he make himself sick. 

“You should wash your face too,” Sue suggested. 

“I think I’d rather try and take a quick shower.”

“Are you sure?”

Lucifer nodded. “I’m sure.”

“Do you want me to get you some bandages when you’re done?”

“Sure,” Lucifer said, looking at his scarred wrist and cringing.

“I’ll be outside if you need me,” Sue said as she took her leave.

She went straight to the common bathroom where they kept all their medical supplies and took out a roller bandage and an antiseptic for good measure. The wounds were still fresh. As she went about this, she felt her phone buzz a few times. When she checked, she saw that Carmen and Diavolo were sending her messages. She deleted the notifications and shut off her phone. Now wasn’t the time to confront them.

But in her head, she rehearsed the many things she wanted to say to them, the many words to shame them. She’d never truly forgiven them, not after bringing Lucifer to such a low point. She wanted to toss them like garbage. To her, some things could never be justified, never forgiven. She was all too familiar with cheating. 

She wanted to break them, see them crumble beneath her feet and beg for mercy. But that was all just a stargirl way of thinking. The damage was already done. Trying to get Lucifer back on his feet was more important. After all, she didn’t know them as well as he did.

“You ready?” Sue called after knocking on the door. 

“Yes.”

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, sleeve already pulled up to his bicep, arm resting on his lap. Lucifer kept his eyes on his wounds as Sue sat next to him. Lucifer’s hand only twitched a little as she cleaned his cuts, his pride returning somewhat to prevent himself from showing pain. Then she wrapped his wrist.

“Good job.”

Lucifer turned to the human only to find her with a soft smile on her face. “For what?”

“For trying,” Sue said.

It took a moment for Lucifer to process. He didn't quite get how something as trivial as trying was worth praising. To him, his best was the only thing worth it. But he wasn’t going to act like he didn’t enjoy getting complimented for something so minimal. 

They shared a quick, quiet chuckle with each other until settling into silence for the umpteenth time that evening. Their smiles slowly faded away. Lucifer supposed he felt a little better even with the images of Carmen sleeping with Diavolo plaguing his mind. His heart was still heavy over that. But when he told himself that there was a life beyond them, he believed it. 

He did just fine before they came in. There was no reason why he couldn’t do much better without them. Even when he fell, he wasn’t alone.

“Sue?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for coming down here,” Lucifer smiled. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”

“Oh… Um… That’s just what friends do, you know.” Sue smiled sheepishly, not really expecting Lucifer to say anything like that. “We should probably do something about this room sometime soon. But not right now, if you don’t want to.”

“No, we should clean it up right now. I don’t think I could stand another day living in this.”

Together they gathered bags and threw away what needed to be thrown away. Clothes were sorted out, with the clean being put away and the dirty being set aside for washing. The photo album, which was dubbed unsalvageable and contained nothing but pictures of Carmen and Lucifer was thrown into the freshly lit fireplace. 

At that moment, Lucifer understood how Sue felt about the note she wrote some years back, a note only the both of them acknowledged. It was nothing more than ashes now, something to be forgotten about. His marriage to Carmen and friendship with Diavolo would follow suit.

It didn’t take long for Lucifer to decide what to do with the ring. As he and Sue carried out bags of bottles, they ran into Mammon. After a relatively short conversation about Lucifer’s wellbeing, the demon handed his little brother the hoop of fine gold.

“Take it. Do whatever you want with it. Keep it, melt it or sell it for some ungodly amount. I don’t care. Just do what you like.”

[firebirdsdaughter]

Ngl lie, but it really rubs me the wrong way when people say that Horobi is a killer because he may or may not have a hand in Izu's death. Meanwhile, Aruto killed Jin twice and everybody still calls him a soft boy who can't do anything wrong. We get it show, humans are good and can do no bad and even when they do it's okay they'll get forgiven eventually because they were jealous or had a bad childhood or whatever. Just look at Gai and tell me this show isn't one big hypocrite mess.

I’m pretty sure those people see it as being Jin’s ‘fault’ both times, tbh.

Even though Aruto knew Izu was fine, had the fire power advantage, and had just established Jin didn’t know what was going on. But no, obviously, he had no other options./s

This, like… It’s not tragic to me, bc Izu could easily have gotten out of the way. We’ve seen her zip around faster than a car, cause sparks to appear when she slides. It doesn’t feel sad it just feels stupid. Why would she just stand there and let herself be shot? She could have moved even after he let go of the trigger. She wasn’t scared or anything like she’s been a few times before. That was clearly a conscious, deliberate choice. And I’m supposed to feel like it’s all Horobi’s fault? That’s why I feel like we do have to equate Jin’s death, bc him taking a hit for Horobi is essentially the same as Izu standing still and deliberately being hit. And then there’s the fact that Fuwa and Yua (I absolutely adore Fuwa, but he fucked up) absolutely escalated the situation when it should have made more sense for Yua at least to listen to Izu.

And Amatsu… You know, I haven’t seen him recently. He seems to have completely vanished from the series after… What was it, some episode in the thirties. Really quite odd.

But seriously, to me, they literally switched the 'cores’ of Horobi and Gai’s plots? Not that I want Horobi behaving like how this impost Amatsu is now, but, like… Horobi should be the one getting the sympathy for having the tragic past, should be the one whose working on something to stop Gai¡Ark instead of… This…

I’m sorry, I’m really worn out this week and I’m not sure if I’m articulating correctly, but yes, it is very frustrating how Horobi is being called a monster bc of a thing that could have been easily prevented (esp by the target herself), while, you know, Gai caused all of this and literally was knowingly responsible for Daybreak, has caused numerous deaths, tried to cause more, tried to kill people, all knowingly and deliberately, while Horobi was literally mind controlled and mind raped for twelve years. If you presented their basic plots to someone w/ no other context, I feel like they’d assume that Horobi would get the dramatic ‘reaching out’ and redemption arc, while Gai would be the one… Doing… Whatever this is supposed to be. Horobi is literally mentally and emotionally unstable right now, he’s been under intense mind control and had his emotions forcibly repressed his whole life, he literally doesn’t know how to handle them at all. It’s hard to see how him having a breakdown and lashing out and Izu grabbing the idiot ball and not moving, and then his mental state still not being addressed, being ‘worse’ than Gai knowingly doing all that shit? Like, I understand Aruto being in universe upset about Izu (though again, going Ark is just… Weird), but the attitude of the writing, in a way, and the reaction, at least amongst a number of the Western fandom… Sorry, but just bc HumaGear look human does not mean their minds work the same way. I’ve rambled about it before, but it’s literally the whole ‘don’t just suddenly approach a wounded animal’ thing. Like, Aruto going irrational after the incident makes some sense, but really there were a plethora of things other people could have done leading up to it that would have easily prevented the situation.

Just… Really sends an interesting message when you’ve got the guy literally responsible for everything getting away scot free and treated like one of the gang while one of his victims is painted as the ‘irredeemable bad guy’ for not being able to deal w/ the hell he was put through and lashing out bc of it. Like… In a way, Horobi’s behaviour is relatively/kinda realistic for someone (esp an AI)b that went through what he went through… But the reaction to it and the tone of the writing is very… Not Great. Like, I really think they should have made Aruto’s reaction much more unreasonable? Like, really leaned on him just assuming Horobi did it/maybe on him looking for an excuse bc Horobi continued defying his ideal of HumaGear as perfect angels who are blindly adoring of humans. Horobi def strikes me as the type who wouldn’t bother trying to defend himself bc he’d believe that a human would assume the worst about him no matter what, or that Aruto immediately assuming that he did it shatters any thought he might have had bc he figures Aruto was already set to assume the worst about him. Or something. This still feels like they’re trying to give the human an ‘out’ make him ‘not so bad.’ But Horobi didn’t go gunning for Izu or anything, in fact he tried to get away from her, and she kept pursuing him. He also didn’t fire on her right away until she kept pressing him. He didn’t plot to kill Izu, he didn’t stand there and be like ‘I’m gonna kill her to hurt Hiden’ or whatever, he was panicked and upset and terrified and he snapped. And she just stood there.

Anyone remember that time Yua almost killed Izu? Like. Deliberately, they were deliberately targeting Izu. Izu didn’t go seek them out, this was a deliberate act. And Izu was clearly frightened and confused and upset. Like she tried to run away. And honestly there her forgetting her speed makes some sense bc she didn’t want to leave Aruto and she was scared, yaddyada. But. Like. Yua was gonna do it. The only reason it didn’t happen was Gai said the wrong thing and Fuwa snapped out of it. But Yua was going to kill Izu. And she was going to do it bc she wasn’t in a great mental place and was in denial about her situation.

… Hey… Wait… Sounds a little familiar.

But here’s another thing. A human should be able to know better. Horobi literally can’t. The Ark has been his life for twelve years, her cruelty and her hatred. She trained him to respond w/ extremes and violence. Horobi literally cannot have the emotional reasoning and control of a human adult, he only just got them, and he’s been trained to reject them his whole life.

I’d love to think we’ll get something next week where someone points out to Aruto or just to people in general just what kind of state Horobi is in, but I doubt it. The intention seems to be to make him out as responsible for everything.

Meanwhile I now have the headache of the century (not bc of this Ask, I think it’s delayed from work), so I will leave this here.

[kae-karo]

i feel like my entire tumblr timeline at this point is just impassioned blanket defenses of past and current phandom behavior and angry posts abt how it's ok to make this all abt phan if you want and while i dont disagree with either of those things inherently (in fact i really fucking agree with a lot of the posts im seeing) something abt that being the entirety of my timeline rn just makes me fucking sad in a way i can't articulate. perhaps im overly sensitive rn bc i so hardcore related to 1/

2/3 dans journey (the violence he incurred from peers and the suicide attempt at 17 especially) and it just makes me sad to see that vulnerability seemingly swept aside almost immediately the next day because the vast majority of the phandom would rather focus on defending their right to ship phan how they want to (which!! idk WHY i feel this way!! because i agree with that also!!)

3/3 but for some reason the more i look at my timeline and see nothing but that type of posts the more that the feeling of support and being truly seen and understood that I felt watching dans video yesterday gets extinguished

oh my gosh, hi dear - this is a very valid feeling (and unfortunately, i’m aware of some of the ways i’ve contributed to the flood of less-than-positive content by getting swept up in some related discussions)

i think it’s exactly what you pointed out - seeing nothing but those posts feels like we’ve squashed the immense and powerful and positive emotions that came along with that video and overlaid them with feelings of controversy, guilt in some cases, anger in other cases, righteousness or frustration or all these more negative feelings. which isn’t to say the good stuff isn’t there anymore, but it’s been pushed so far down that it doesn’t seem first and foremost on many people’s minds

i don’t think you’re being oversensitive at all, dear - that was a story that made you feel seen, but that feeling of being seen has been overshadowed by (whether intentional or not) the negative feelings these posts are emanating. and, even if you agree with them! they can still feel not so great! like, arguing about something - no matter how firmly you believe it - is still an emotionally taxing thing to do, and even just to read about

i think one of the interesting things the phandom does is to immediately discuss a hundred different viewpoints on a single event/vid/etc - it can be really eye-opening, but it can also be so draining if all you see are people discussing negative aspects of something, or arguing or being defensive etc. i’m so sorry you’re feeling a bit lost in all these discussions, i don’t blame you and i totally understand how you feel. perhaps there are some blogs you can mute for the time being to help you skip over some of the negativity and maybe some others (if you search the dnp/dan and phil/phan/phanart/etc tags) you can follow to add a little more positivity to your dash