#but it's just a label..... it doesn't dictate how i act i chose it to describe the way i already did act & feel
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am i seriously starting to see jokes about asexuals on my dash again??? i chose the wrong time to accept myself.....
#i tried to tell my one irl friend but he did that thing where he started making what he thought were jokes#about like ohhh you haaate sex and like obvs that's sarcasm and i'll make the same jokes#but there was something about it that just struck a nerve that day#and i just kinda stopped and was like 'you know i don't right? my sex life isn't really different from an allo person's from the outside'#and it got to the point where i was like y'know what im sorry for even bringing it up let's just pretend im not ace (<- melodrama)#and he was like nooo but it's who you are!#and i was like oh. yeah no. it's just what i am. it's just a word that connects me to some other people.#i feel like i think of sexuality differently than some people do#imo sexuality is just something that describes how i interact with the world most of the time at a particular point in time#it's changeable because well. it changes! & i latched onto asexuality when i did for a reason#it makes sense now. it made a lot of things click and i think aces & aros put a lot of things into perspective for me#but it's just a label..... it doesn't dictate how i act i chose it to describe the way i already did act & feel#i guess my point is that's why the jokes hit a nerve#it was so so so hard to get there in the first place because i was afraid of the bullying#i don't want it to come back and start feeling like i'd get made fun of for shit that isn't even true about me all over again :(#bri babbles
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