#but it's always so baffling to me when someone says they just “power through” or they feel bad for not enjoying something like that

[reeksandfumes]

"I feel bad because i dont really like sucking dick honestly"

"I'm not a fan of eating pussy really, whichsucks because I wanna make my partner feel good"

that is actually completely valid!! you shouldn't feel like you have to do something you dont enjoy just to please your partners! there's lots of ways to make someone feel good, you dont have to force yourself to do ANYTHING that you dont enjoy or that makes you feel uncomfortable!! and if anyone tells you otherwise, they're wrong!!

[orteil42]

some undifferentiated thoughts about my Starfield playthrough as i have them. i am a game developer with a strong interest in procedural generation and i've enjoyed a bunch of other bethesda games so this might get pretty mean sorry

(this is a long one)

starfield dialogue is already exhausting me "oh you must've been living under a moon rock ;)" get it! because they're in space! this would've been too corny for the Jetsons

there's a kind of cheap dusting of space theme over everything. the food isn't salmon but alien salmon. it's not seaweed but alien seaweed. cooking alien stir-fry. come on

cannot get over how clumsily the theming is handled. books, board games, weapon names revolve heavily around space. these people have been living on alien planets for hundreds of years yet have this unending sense of novelty about it. the game takes itself completely seriously but feels like it's attempting to parody itself

people's EYEBALLS are CLIPPING THROUGH THEIR EYELIDS

a woman is speaking to me in french. her accent is about as believable as her haircut

these are some of the worst reflection maps i've ever seen

next to nothing is interactive. you can sit in chairs and sleep in beds and that is about it. can't even drink from people's toilets. disgraceful

game helpfully crashes 5 seconds after i decide i should get some sleep. very handy!

my character has not said a single thing since i started playing. not one peep. this is an unmitigated improvement over Fallout 4 i'm so glad honestly

the more i poke around the big city the more the NPC quips feel like something out of gen-1 pokemon. can't get enough of this coffee :) this city is where it's at :) spacesuits are comfy and easy to wear

very strange sense of altered reality from the quest dialogue too. has anyone at bethesda met a person before? i move on to some mission that has me scanning wildlife on a faraway planet hoping this will, somehow, feel less alien than human conversation

just as with No Man's Sky, every planet is uniformly dotted with equidistantly-placed points of interest that you slowly make your way to (no vehicles besides your jetpack) which always turn out to be some cave or building identical to those you've cleared before

unlike with No Man's Sky, the seamless exploration is faked and the biodiversity is nil. you do get an impressive amount of raw loading screens however

the prefab bases and power stations found everywhere on planets seem to have very sparse, very specific slots for spawning consumables, which results in encountering some giant industrial installation in the middle of nowhere with, i don't know, a loaf of whole-grain sandwich bread just casually sitting next to it all proper. there is no breathable atmosphere here. who is eating this

planetary traversal is a CHORE. i am saying this as someone who loved Death Stranding

heinous "hold to confirm" buttons sprinkled in various flow-breaking places throughout the interface

enemy AI is abominable. nobody is pathing their way to get my ass. "must've been the wind" taken to the next level. an infant playing peekaboo has more object permanence

hoisting yourself up on ledges when jumping is…nice

companions randomly nowhere to be found. persists through multiple fast-travels and loading screens until, just as randomly, they pop back up

storage space is now limited! unlike in Fallout 4 and virtually every other bethesda game, your containers now hold a finite item capacity. god forbid we let the player have fun

baffling inventory UI. i imagine there's a mod out there that completely overhauls it the way SkyUI did for Skyrim. this should not be needed! how are your UIs getting worse a decade later!

scanning the precious few species inhabiting some dusty planet; one of them is this arching red root i've already seen several times before. my job done in this biome, i travel (read: teleport with a loading screen) to the polar region to find some other species. the first one i catalogue is the exact same red root again but this time it's named "boreas root" todd howard is a genius

some alien horror comes at me full fangs out. i hop on a pebble. obscenely, i am safe

procedural terrain generation beyond dull, impossibly unimaginative. these people have not had one critical thought on what makes a procedural world interesting. beginning to feel validated in my belief that only i should be trusted with proc gen. along with perhaps tarn adams

jokes aside this is making me feel genuinely insane. there have been excellent procedural generation techniques that produce compelling explorable maps for decades now. bethesda absolutely has the budget and know-how to do miles better than this yet somehow they just…do not? the same way Pokemon has decided to just no longer bother with their mainline games despite being the highest-grossing media franchise in history? hello? what is for real going on

some of the most cynical breadcrumbing i've seen in years. approaching some random cave and this person in space gear, who in the vast immensity of the infinite cosmos just happens to be snapping pictures right here, tells me more-or-less verbatim "if you like this place, you should see this other place" [other random cave has been added to your map.]

i do not like how good this makes No Man's Sky's gameplay look. it depresses me how much i have to hand it to No Man's Sky for at least not fucking up this bad. please stop making me wish i was playing No Man's Sky instead this is grotesque

i think i've exhausted my interest and patience for this game at the moment. i'll get back to the main story at some point and try some other systems ie. crafting and base-building to see if there's any engagement to be found but so far, my god. my god

[shadowvalkyrie]

There are a lot of things about Taskmaster that feel very... culturally British. That mixture of extreme silliness with occasionally very dark humour for example.

Or the particular tone of affectionate bullying and the way it's (mostly) taken in good humour. (And expected to be taken in good humour, even when it hits a nerve. Something that caused quite a bit of bad blood between the Brits and the Germans in my former workplace, because we generally don't shrug off insults that easily.)

But I think one difference is sort of... simmering under the surface in ways that aren't immediately obvious to international audiences (and makes me wish I was still writing uni papers, because it would be a GOLDMINE), is how much of the humour is based on the British class system.

I mean, the basic premise of "tyrannical taskmaster makes people jump through arbitrary hoops for his favour and then belittles them for doing so" is already something only an audience with a slightly monarchical bend would accept unquestioningly. Add to that the way the Taskmaster/Assistant relationship is set up... Let's just say it fetishises a social dynamic that doesn't exist in quite the same way elsewhere.

Which I think may partially explain why so many people seem to be oblivious to the D/s undertones. -- Of course it's often kink-blindness on the part of non-kinky people, but I strongly suspect it's helped along by the cultural perception of what constitutes an acceptable power differential acting as a buffer to seeing anything off about it. The threshold for when it becomes weird is different.

Now, I think (and since I'm not British, do correct me if I have it wrong!) a key part of what makes the basic premise funny to British audiences (and differently from how it's funny to international ones) is the way cultural expectations of power vs submission are subverted.

Purely based on accent? Alex is the posh one. By miles. And Greg -- very pointedly! -- doesn't do the matching Fauxbridge that most viewers would probably expect from someone presented in a position of authority (or even just a "neutral" BBC accent). It seems bizarre from a foreign point of view, but I've found that this kind of discrepancy immediately and viscerally registers with Brits. (It's uncanny how little it takes, too -- ask your favourite non-TM-aware English person to just listen to the different ways they say "taskmaster" and they will extrapolate things you cannot even imagine.) Instead of just the regional connotation, there are always implications of class and social status to an accent that are absolutely baffling to the unaware.

Add the fact that Greg Davies is from Wales, and a lot of English people have a weird colonial superiority complex towards Welsh people to this day... It's enough to make all these obvious gestures of devoted subservience from Alex very unexpected and therefore funny.

(Also notice how it adds interesting layers to Katherine Ryan buying Greg a fake lordship title? And makes it funnier in a way she may not even have fully been aware of herself, being Canadian? It's delightfully irreverent and pokes fun at the whole system.)

My guess is that this is also why the studio audience's reaction to linguistics-based jokes is always so strong. Lets take the recurring bit about Alex correcting Greg's grammar. To an international audience, the main joke is that Alex is a nerd and cares too much about grammar, with maybe a side of him being a smartarse towards his boss in a potentially ill-advised way. But to a British audience, the level of audacious insubordination implied there? Much stronger. Wildly offensive thing to do. (And a level of arrogance that is extra hilarious coming from someone shown to be sleeping in a dog bed.)

The same mechanism also puts Alex's snide little asides towards contestants with regional or "urban" accents into perspective. Offensive dick move on his part? Oh yes, extremely. But the audience is very much not supposed to be on his side in this. He's being a bigoted little bully, and either the contestants get to humiliate him in retaliation (it's certainly not a coincidence that the Welsh and Irish contestants are generally the ones having the most fun putting him in his place) or Greg calls him out on it in the studio. In a society in which Alex's brand of micro-aggression is still incredibly commonplace and accent discrimination a widely accepted default, it's actually very cathartic to see it openly acknowledged and condemned.

I mean Tumblr obviously loves Alex, because he's cute and funny and we love the Greg/Alex D/s thing (I'm definitely guilty of this as well), but we have to remember that -- in the context of the show's premise -- his character is supposed to be pathetic and ridiculous, so when Greg does the "next to me a man who once told me while drunk that he thinks regional accents are inversely correlated to intelligence" intro thing, we're meant to see it as an asshole opinion that is actually unacceptable to hold and no one in their right mind would openly admit to. So Greg is humiliating Alex by (supposedly) exposing him as someone who would spout that kind of opinion. (Same as the jokes about Alex's misogyny. I see people criticise these jokes all the time, but I think that's because they refuse to understand how the underlying mechanism actually works and take them at face value as the real Alex's actual opinion, rather than something deliberately assigned to his in-show character to make a point about them being terrible.)

[comicaurora]

I've started making my way through the playlist hbomberguy made of actually good video essays by queer creators and spotted a comment of yours on the one about the relationship between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, which was fun xD red in the wild!

Anyways, just wanted to appreciate how both you and Blue and you are very good at showing your sources! It's always nice to know that the people you've watched for years have good habits after an event like this, and I hope you guys are among the people that get some new fans after this whole debacle, because your channel definitely qualifies for "good educational videos made by queer people"

I'm glad! Blue's much better about listing his sources and follow-up reading than I am.

To be honest, I loved the video, but my imposter syndrome always flares like crazy when I watch an essay like that. It might be the ADHD or it might just be who I am as a person, but I feel like I've lived my whole life striving to make everything I do the best it can be, and still managing to fuck up and get criticised for things I could've done better if only I never missed anything. It's an actual gut-drop when it turns out a source I used wasn't trustworthy, or when in older videos I only went wiki-deep for some claims and didn't check every source to be 100% sure I wasn't being goat-fish'd. And this being the internet, I can get criticized at any time for things I've gotten wrong years ago, since it's evergreen online and to the new-viewing critic it's as fresh as yesterday. It makes it hard for me to stay proud of my work past the first moment of "oh I would've done that different now". There's a cocktail of complicated, scary feelings around this space, no matter how little I actually have in common with the bad guys of this scenario - it's less about the reality and more about who my imposter syndrome tells me I am. I saw several people saying that the video actually made them feel much better about their own work because it made it clear that accidental plagiarism on that scale is impossible, but if my anxieties listened to reason I would've successfully machete'd them out of my skull years ago. I just hope I never fuck up badly enough to deserve an hbombing of my own.

But my own stress aside, the hbomb essay exposed a level of laxness, laziness and entitlement on the part of these plagiarists that I think is almost incomprehensible to people who actually create for a living or even just the joy of it. How hollow do you have to be to take in someone else's writing and not consider it, digest it, let it reshape your views and then formulate your own interpretation on it, but instead to file off the serial numbers and pretend it's yours, trusting that the person whose thoughts and words you valued enough to steal will never be powerful enough to call you out on it? I go down research rabbit holes because I love the frustration and thrill of putting something together! How joyless it must be to skim the surface and borrow someone else's conclusions!

I've sometimes had people email asking for sources on parts of my interpretation of various myths, possibly in the interest of source-citing for school papers (a nightmare concept in and of itself) and with very few exceptions I usually have to tell them "the only sources were the english translations I used of the primary source where the myth was originally written, like I said in the video, and the part where I said I was conspiracy-boarding has no source other than my own analysis of the given source, which is why I called it conspiracy-boarding" and I was always a little baffled by those emails - half the videos are introduced like "this is The Prose Edda" or "this is in Ovid's Metamorphoses" or "this bit is Hesiod" so what else could they want - but seeing the hbomb of the week made me realize that truly original analysis might not be what most people are expecting from a "thing summarized." They might be expecting a compilation of other people's summaries instead.

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Err on The Side of Awesome

(Not my gif)

Kol Mikaelson's Daughter Headcanons

Requested by: @katherinereilly19

Here lies my Masterlist

You were adopted by Kol and Davina Claire-Mikaelson at age six from a Catholic orphanage run by nuns who all thought you were some sort of demon child.

See, like your adopted father, you were a witch and had come into your power rather early. Davina had been sensing some odd power flares in the area and, when she and Kol had gone to investigate, there you were - a sweet, little bundle of mischief with more power than you knew what to do with.

To say that you had Kol wrapped around your little finger from the first second he saw you would be no exaggeration. Seriously. 

Kol had never thought himself fit to be a husband, let alone a parent. It still baffles him some days that Davina agreed to marry him - most days in fact - it just seemed too good to be true. They traveled the world for a while and then… Well, Davina, she…

She said she wanted kids.

She didn't say that she used to want kids or that she would have wanted them had she married someone else. Davina said she wanted to be a mom. With him. She said she wanted to have a kid with him and she wanted Kol to be that kid's dad.

At first, he almost thought it was a joke. Who in their right mind would trust him with a child? But no, Davina was serious. 

And it terrified him.

Kol is well aware of just how miserably his parents screwed up their job and he's pretty sure he couldn't do any worse but that doesn't mean he'd do well.

But the guy took just one look at you and he knew without a doubt that there was no alternative realm, no obscure future, and no minuscule probability in which he could cause you any harm.

For the first little while, you were convinced (thanks to the nuns) that you would have to be an absolute angel of a child in order to be wanted by your new parents. You helped clean things, refrain from using your magic, made your bed, brushed your teeth, and never asked for anything.

Three months in, you dropped a plate and broke down crying, begging Mr. and Mrs. Claire-Mikaelson (because you wouldn't dare call them mom and dad) not to send you back.

What began as your average Tuesday afternoon turned into a deeply formative experience when Kol sat you on his knee, looked you in the eyes, and said:

"Y/N, darling, I want you to listen to me very closely, alright? There is absolutely nothing on this earth you can do or say that will make your mother and I love you any less. There is no such thing as good enough - there is no bar you have to meet - only what you are. Now, a plate is infinitely replaceable, but you are our daughter and I will love you until the end of time. That makes you infinitely more valuable than a plate. Okay?"

"O-okay… dad?"

That was a day you never forgot as you grew older. 

Speaking of growing, no matter how old you get, Kol can and will pick you up by the ankle and hold you upside down. It never gets old.

Also, piggy-back rides.

You did go through a phase where you were convinced there was a monster in your closet.

"Dad! There's a monster in my closet and it wants to eat my toes!"

"Really? Well, I must applaud the audacity."

There were quite a few nights you spent cuddled up between them as Davina braided your hair and Kol told you a story until you fell asleep. 

Kol always refers to you and Davina as "his girls".

He's always willing to play with you, whether it be a game of tag or a complex drama plot with your dolls. (His personal favorite was when you decided to reenact the French Revolution in Barbie form.)

Daddy-Daughter Days are 100% a thing. The two of you are huge movie and arcade goers. Not to mention huge fantasy nerds. From Deltora Quest to Harry Potter to the freaking Wheel of Time - your fascination with the fantastical never fades as you grow. You never thought yourself too old to be read to at night, so Kol never stopped the tradition.

You're a little (a lot) spoiled. But not in a bad way. You're not ungrateful but let's just say you have quite a few pets.

Auntie Bex is always more than willing to babysit when your parents want some time to themselves. You remind her of Kol when he was a kid and she adores that.

Play-Dates with your cousin Hope mean quite a few headaches for your uncles Klaus and Elijah. Aunt Hayley thinks you're absolutely hilarious while Aunt Cami is convinced you're like 4 different varieties of insane. She might have a point there.

When you're old enough to be in school, you can always count on your parents to help you with your homework. You never would have made it through middle or high school without your dad, Kol is insanely good at math and chemistry. However, when it comes to anything to do with history or government, he passes the torch to Davina because even though he lived through it, he literally never paid enough attention to remember anything.

Parent-Teacher conferences are always interesting. 

"Y/N is so intelligent. Truly a joy to have in class."

"Is she now?"

Neither of them buys it for a second. You have a mischievous streak a mile long, the teacher just doesn't know that you're the one putting tacks on her chair. Kol is honestly proud and Davina may try to be the voice of reason but she can't help laughing at just how alike father and daughter turned out to be.

Now, if Hope is "miraculously well adjusted" then you're probably something like a thirty-year-old in an eight-year-old body. You're like the most chill child perhaps ever. However, just like your father, your maturity level varies with the situation.

For example, Klaus once decided it would be a good idea to whip out the "You're not even a real Mikaelson" card at a family reunion. It wasn't long before Davina had thrown Klaus into a wall and Kol and Marcel were at each other's throats. 

You honestly weren't even bothered. You knew your parents loved you and that was enough so you simply said:

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

And went back to eating your dinosaur chicken nuggets.

Marcel - apparently still a little touchy on that subject - was the last to sit down again. Little did he know just how proficient you had become with teleporting objects. Naturally, you were smirking when the whoopie cushion did its noble work.

Kol is terrified that he'll lose touch with you as you grow older.

This fear never comes to fruition.

The trust between you and your parents is something every other child ever would envy. They trust your judgment and, in turn, you trust the very few restrictions they put in place for you. It's crazy because they honestly never get mad. Like ever.

However, their disappointment is the worst thing you'll ever endure. 

 They told you not to go out one night because an old enemy of Klaus' was wandering around town. You went out anyway and you were attacked. Now, you were powerful enough to fight off your assailant and kill him, but you didn't come out of that fight unscathed. You had to limp home and tell your dad what had happened. 

"Are you mad at me?"

"No. I've done much worse in my life, for much dumber reasons. To be mad at you would make me a hypocrite. I just know you're better than this - Y/N, you've shown me that you're better than this. I'm not angry with you. I'm just extraordinarily disappointed."

It happens only once and never again.

Growing up with those two for parents ensured that you quickly mastered your magic and became one of the most powerful and skilled witches of all time. But don't think for a second that you would ever be used. They would never allow that to happen.

As you reach middle and high school, a rumor begins going around that your dad is a vampire. You just snort really loud and make no further comment. It leaves everyone wondering.

First boyfriend?

Heaven help the poor sod. 

"If you ever lay your hands on my daughter against her will, you will find that you no longer have hands. I will use the bones of them to fashion myself a new pen, with which I shall write your death certificate. Do I make myself clear?"

Once you're old enough, the basement becomes something of a witchy lab space.

Explosions are… frequent.

*Coughing* "Thank goodness your mother wasn't home for that one."

"Think again, Mikaelson."

"Oh shi-"

"Uh… Hi mom!"

You're probably the healthiest Mikaelson.

When the time comes for you to graduate, it's a hard dose of reality for Kol. He understands he has to let you live your life and he would never dream of taking that away as it was taken from him, but it's just hard.

You'll never stop being his little girl.

Special thanks to: @her-violent-delights

[petersasteria]

because i liked a boy - T.C.

Pairing: T.C. x SabrinaCarpenter!Reader Words: 1,224 Warning/s: curse words, kylie jenner being mean

You knew you weren’t at fault. You knew that no one was. You also knew that this whole situation was blown way out of proportion. According to the media, you and Timothée started your relationship while he was in a relationship with Kylie Jenner. That was not the case and all three of you knew that. Since the devil works hard, Kylie Jenner’s team works harder. They seemed to add fuel to the fire by pushing the narrative that maybe you did “seduce” Timothée to get in the way of their relationship. Because she’s so powerful, everyone turned against you. Her fans commented nasty things on your Instagram, sent you death threats, and harassed you when they saw you in public.

The funny thing about this whole ordeal was that when this whole narrative began, you and Timothée had already called it quits. It was baffling to say the least, but in true fashion, you chose not to say anything. Instead, you hid in isolation for a year and wrote a few songs about the whole thing. It saddened you that not even Timothée defended you against Kylie’s false claims. He just watched and let it happen. You reached out to Kylie’s team about it, but they never responded. You were never one to create drama, but when everything simmered down, you released a music video for your new song, “because i liked a boy”.

Meanwhile, Timothée was scrolling on YouTube to watch something. It was his day off and he was happy just lounging around. As he scrolled, he saw your newest video. He looked around to see if he was alone before clicking the video. Immediately, he was in awe. The melody and the visuals were appealing. The video opened with you lying down on a trampoline. He watched intently as you sang.

I said I wanted thin mints

And you said you knew a guy

You showed up with a boom box

And stars in your eyes

He smiled to himself as he remembered the first time he’s been to your place. It didn’t take a genius to know that the song was for him. He knew from the first line. Listening to the first four lines made him excited to listen to the rest of the song.

Who knew cuddling on trampolines

Could be so reckless?

We bonded over Black Eyed Peas

And complicated exes

It was true. You and him have always talked about your exes. Mainly because they seem to be all the same in terms of personality. He was glad to finally meet someone who sees on the same page as him.

Fell so deeply into it

It was all so innocent

In the video, you sat up, grabbed the newspaper next to you, and opened it. The front page revealed the words: “Y/N, THE WRECKER OF RELATIONSHIPS”. In the next frame, you were walking down the red carpet and everyone was pushing you away, ostracizing you in the industry.

Now I’m a home-wrecker

I’m a slut

I got death threats filling up

Semi trucks

Tell me who I am 

Guess I don’t have a choice

All because I liked

Timothée was surprised at the choice of words you used. He genuinely felt bad for everything that you’ve been through. You didn’t deserve any of it. He hated his management team for advising him not to say anything because it could ruin his reputation.

I’m the hot topic on your tongue

In the next scene, you got a Kylie Jenner look alike to portray what she does on Instagram live and then she holds up a picture of you, gags, and rips it apart. 

I’m a rebound gettin’ round

Stealing from the young

Tell me who I am

Guess I don’t have a choice

All because I liked a boy

In the video, you were back at your house while holding your heels. A man was waiting for you and you had an argument about something.

I’m not catastrophizing

Everything’s derailing

You let go of your shoes and hugged the man from behind, but he pushed you off and walked away. You cried and sat on the stairs. Timothée’s heart broke seeing you like that.

Was only tryna hold you close

While your heart was failing

It’s not internet illusion

Just two kids going through it

You said I’m too late to be your first love

But I’ll always be your favorite

That part was true. He did tell you that. He was surprised you included it in your song. He still meant what he said. You were, and still are, his favorite. It just didn’t work out in the end.

Now I’m a home-wrecker

I’m a slut

I got death threats filling up

Semi trucks

Tell me who I am 

Guess I don’t have a choice

All because I liked

I’m the hot topic on your tongue

I’m a rebound gettin’ round

Stealing from the young

Tell me who I am

Guess I don’t have a choice

All because I liked a boy

Fell so deeply into it

It was all so innocent

Dating boys with exes

No, I wouldn’t recommend it

He proceeded to watch your video intently, not knowing what was about to come next. He watched as the man left with his belongings, leaving you crying. In the next scene you were in the dining area, holding up the newspaper from the first scene. You put it down and sang.

I’m a home-wrecker

I’m a slut

I got death threats filling up

Semi trucks

Tell me who I am

Guess I don’t have a choice

All because I liked a boy

Just then pictures of you and Timothée popped up, making him smile a bit. He missed you. There was no denying that you two were a good match; a great match. His smile disappeared when all your pictures were replaced with real headlines regarding the situation, calling you nasty names. The camera slowly zoomed in on your face to show your real emotions.

And all of this for what?

When everything went down

We’d already broken up

Please tell me who I am

Guess I don’t have a choice

All because I liked a boy

Timothée teared up and sniffed. You didn’t deserve any of that. He read the comments and all of it was positive; people immediately switched to your side after being cruel the previous year. You didn’t release that song as an intention to hurt or shade anybody. You just wanted people to know your side of the story seeing as Kylie and her team loved to fabricate the shit out of everything. You wanted people to hear it from you through song. Needless to say, you didn’t disappoint.

A few weeks later, you were invited to perform at an awards show. You were walking down the red carpet, taking pictures, and avoiding interviews like the plague when you saw him. You both looked at each other in shock. He smiled at you and gave him a curt nod. You didn’t speak to him after that. Your chapter with him already closed and both of you knew that it was done and over with. You looked away, but he stared at you longer. After a while, he smiled to himself, looked away, and went on with his night.

[paragonrobits]

so one thing I’ve come to realize after watching a fair number of reactions to Hunter the Parenting by people who specifically not old school fans of the World of Darkness setting, or have only been introduced to it THROUGh HtP, is that every single fucking things Big D says and does is a MASSIVE flag that he is something extremely weird even by the standards of the setting

but

in order to actually know this, you need to have some fairly in-depth knowledge of the setting.

so I’m watching these reactions growing continuously baffled at how people don’t react that much to, say, Big D talking about how time is an odious concept, or randomly screaming that Louis Pasteur was a fascist, or that him knowing WHY werewolves are vulnerable to silver is actually a huge deal, and it took me a while to realize: Big D is always rambling and saying weird things, so to these viewers a lot of what he does and says is comedic non sequiters.

But here’s the thing; a lot of the stuff he says MIGHT be non sequiters, or him being accidentally correct about something he doesn’t know shit about... but the thing about it is that he sounds like someone who knows the horrible secrets in the world of darkness that you DON’T know, that you CAN’T know, unless you’re one of the strange things in the dark, or have done the impossible task of learning all about them and actually have accurate information.

So, for some context on my examples:

When Big D says time is a concept, he’s not speaking metaphorically. This is BIG TIME, EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, REALITY-DEFINING MIND BREAKING SECRETS OF ALL COSMOS HERE. In the World of Darkness, reality is not objective. The laws of physics don’t really exist; reality is whatever the majority of people THINK exists, and the laws of science only apply specifically because scientific worldview is the norm among most of the world; because so many people believe that up is up, down is down, gravity keeps you on the ground and so on, that’s how it all works. BELIEF defines reality. Consequently, every aspect of existence is a concept, and when Big D says time is an odious concept, he’s not speaking metaphorically. This is an actual, inarguable truth of the setting.

In the same way, Louis Pasteur is likely a reference to the Technocracy, a secretive conspiracy founded by a number of mage guilds from Europe that banded together to further thier vision of an Enlightened world, but whom gradually succumbed to the evils of colonization, Eurocentric perspectives, abuse of power, and obsessively wanting to control all humantiy for its own good; through their work scientific reason has become the primary paradigm. In a lot of ways the mundane evils of the setting are at least implicitly their fault, and a lot of big names and historical figures are named as being part of the Technocracy; thus its not hard to assume Pasteur is thought to be one of these. (He was actually a vampire. He made himself a vampire with serums. It’s complicated, but the Technocracy assumption lines up with what Big D believes.) This also accounts for his apparent phobia of computers; while it MIGHT be him just being superstitious and weird, it also lines up extremely well with someone who knows the origin of advanced electronics as being literal magic.

And finally, werewolves. Everyone knows werewolves are vulnerable to silver, but not everyone knows why. Big D does; he outright tells Kitten it is because they have a compact with the moon. Put simply, THIS IS NOT COMMON KNOWLEDGE. AT ALL. Werewolves in general are tremendously secretive, though not as murderous about it as vampires are, and preventing humans from learning about them is important enough to be in their solemn oaths. To know about the nature of their bond with the moon requires you to ALSO know about the spirit world; that spirits are real, that werewolves are very heavily linked to the spirits, and THAT is why werewolves are vulnerable to silver. Again, this is not common knowledge, not even among those who are learned in the supernatural. (At least, I don’t think it is.)

So while Big D sounds like he’s yelling in gibberish, almost every single thing he says is massively loaded with context to the greater world of darkness, and it might be him being right on accident... or that he knows more than he’s telling, or IS something more than he seems to be.

[coolearistrashcollection]

Chapter Three: Questions and no answers

Ccharacters: cult leader!Geto, cursed spirit!Reader TW: manipulation?, talks about death

Prologue (part 1) here, next chapter here!

You hate him for sealing you away. Or so you think. When he absorbed you, he saved your life, made a pact that bound you both. You had pledged your loyalty then. How could you truly hate someone who spared you from death?

No, hate isn’t the right word anymore, is it? Resentment, maybe. Annoyance, certainly. And now, here you are, working for him again. Not as a powerful entity, not in the grand role you once held, nothing as fearsome as the special grade curse that left destruction in its wake. No, now you're reduced to being a nanny, looking after his twin foster daughters.

"Nanako, Mimiko, time for school." Your voice is firm, though inside, you're still adjusting to this strange, mundane task. Babysitting children. Of all things. When Geto asked for your help, you thought he wanted you back beside him in battle. But this? Escorting two small humans to school? You have no experience with humans, let alone children. It's baffling, exhausting, and utterly beneath you, considering the power you once wielded.

Nanako, the more outspoken of the two, scrunches up her face in a pout. “Hey! Why can’t Geto take us?” Her tone carries that special blend of childish entitlement that grates at your nerves.

Mimiko, quieter but no less troublesome, chimes in. “Yeah! Why can’t he? He took us every day!” She clutches her stuffed animal –a small, worn creature with an unsettling noose around its neck– and stares at you, clearly displeased with the new routine.

You fight the urge to snap. The irritation has been simmering since the start of the morning, and it’s far too early for this nonsense. “He’s busy, and he asked me to take care of you two. Now let’s move, or you’ll be late.” Your words are clipped, your tone betraying how little patience you have left.

The twins, however, don’t seem to care about your mounting frustration. They stand there, eyes wide, expecting you to somehow summon Geto out of thin air to take them. With an exaggerated sigh, you motion for them to follow you. Nanako huffs but starts moving, while Mimiko drags her feet behind, sulking.

As you guide the twins through the busy streets, your eyes are constantly scanning the crowd, alert for any lurking threats. Sorcerers are always a danger, especially now that Geto’s leadership of the Time Vessel Association has made them a target. Funnily enough, you recognised the cult, it's been around since your era, surviving the testament of time. However, you didn't fully grasp what happened that has led to this situation. 

The city is alive with noise and activity, yet you feel like a ghost, watching from the outside. And in a way, you are. Despite the crowds, no one acknowledges your presence. They instinctively avoid the space you occupy, oblivious to the invisible figure walking among them.

But the twins? The twins are always aware of you. As you walk, Nanako tugs lightly at your sleeve, her small, clammy hand a contrast to your cold, distant aura. “Why can no one see you?” she asks, her voice soft and curious. She hesitates, as though she’s been wondering about this for a while but only now has the courage to speak. Nanako has noticed how people pass without even glancing your way, unaware of your existence. Well, everyone except her, Mimiko, and, of course, Geto.

Before you can respond, Mimiko interrupts, her tone sharp with embarrassment. “Nanako! You can’t just ask people why no one notices them!” Her cheeks flush slightly as she scolds her twin, as though Nanako had broken some unspoken rule.

You pause for a moment, debating whether to answer. With what feels like your millionth sigh of the day, you finally respond. “I’m a curse” you say, your voice flat, factual. “Non-sorcerers can’t see me.”

The explanation is simple. A curse. A monster. It’s the truth, though it hardly explains the full depth of what you are. You used to revel in destruction, to thrive in chaos, and now you walk unnoticed through streets: to most people, you’re closer to a shadow that doesn’t quite fit.

Nanako tilts her head, her wide, innocent eyes studying you with an expression mixed with confusion, wonder, and fear. “A curse?” Her curiosity is palpable, and you can almost see the wheels turning in her mind as she tries to imagine you; Her strange, quiet caretaker with the dark, mysterious title of cure.

You sigh again, resisting the urge to explain further. You’re not in the mood for a lengthy conversation– especially not now, when your focus should be on keeping them safe in the crowded streets. “Something like that,” you mutter, your voice laced with weariness.

Their curiosity lingers, but they don’t press you further. Perhaps they sense your mood, maybe they’re just excited to go to school, or maybe they just got distracted by something else. Either way, the silence that follows feels almost like a relief.

As you continue leading the twins, you can’t help but feel that taking them to school is somehow more exhausting than any other task Geto has assigned to you. Even the endless drudgery of cleaning the temple pales in comparison. At least then, you knew what to expect. Here, surrounded by unpredictability and the need to constantly watch over his bratty children, the mental strain is far greater than you anticipated.

You glance down at the twins, now walking ahead a little, chattering quietly to each other. They’re so small, so fragile, two beings whose safety you are now responsible for. And yet, despite how draining this task is, you are thankful for Geto to release you. 

For now, the only thing that matters is getting them to school safely.

—

“Geto–”

“Please, call me Suguru.” He interrupts you smoothly, a familiar smirk tugging at his lips. His eyes closed from the smile, yet it feels like he's intensely staring at you, watching your every move. “C’mon, we were a close duo once, weren’t we?”

You narrow your eyes with suspicion. “Then, Suguru” You emphasise, voice dripping with sarcasm, “When the hell did you get two kids, and why am I stuck playing babysitter? Actually, screw that, how many years have passed?”

“Let’s go somewhere more private, I believe we have many things to discuss.”

The room feels heavy around you, confrontation ahead. The conference room seems to close in from the surreal conversation, even the situation feels odd. It’s been a while since you last saw him. Outside, the cult members, fanatics who listen to Suguru’s every word, are gathering for his daily sermon. You can feel the muted hum of their excitement, their reverence for him. It sends a chill down your spine, you were one of his first supporters and probably the most neglected too. 

He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he steps closer, casually locking his arm with yours as though this is a simple stroll between friends. The gesture feels unsettlingly intimate given the current situation, but you don’t pull away. You let him guide you out of the conference room, away from the eerie gathering that awaits his presence. His grip is firm, showing the power he still holds over you, but caring at the same time.

The door swings shut behind you with a soft click, leaving the murmuring cultists behind. You glance sideways at Suguru, your jaw clenched tight. He’s always had this way of dodging your questions, of sidestepping the reality of the situation in favour of his own whims. It was infuriating then, and it’s infuriating now. You study his face as he speaks, searching for the remnants of the person you once knew beneath the hardened exterior. His transformation is shocking, yet feels strangely inevitable, as though this darker version of him had been lurking beneath the surface all along.

“When did things change? What happened to you, Suguru?” You ask, your voice lower now that the two of you are alone in the hallway. “Where’s Gojo?”

He glances at you with a dark expression, as though your questions bring up undesired memories to him. For a moment, he says nothing, and the silence stretches out uncomfortably, as though your words have dragged something painful to the surface. His black locks shining in the light, his sharp eyes glistening. “We had a couple disagreements…” His tone is heavy, almost mournful too. He shifts slightly, his posture rigid but controlled, as if keeping some darker emotion at bay.

“Disagreements?” You repeat. “Cmon, I thought you two were as thick as thieves… It was more than a disagreement, no?”

Another pause.

“Let’s just say we both have different… philosophies… and we have parted ways.”

“And that's where this cult comes in, no?”

“Correct.” He smirks. "Like I said," He begins in a casual tone, "my views regarding society have changed… and I took over this cult." He continues, as though it’s the most natural thing in the world. His response is frustratingly smooth, like he’s rehearsed it a hundred times before. 

“Like I said, my views regarding society have changed,” he smiles, his eyes flickering with amusement as he smoothly dodges the question, “so, I took over this cult, where we all strive to achieve our goal, a new world order with an only sorcerer society.” 

This new persona of him was manipulative, you doubt people wanted their own extermination. Despite everything, a part of you is drawn to this version of him. This darker, more dangerous version of him is closer to your kind, to your true nature. He understands something fundamental about the world, something he couldn’t grasp before: humans cling to their illusions of civilization, of progress, when in truth, they are nothing more than weaklings. Vermin. You’ve always known this, it was ingrained into your being, but now Suguru knows it too.

“So… Gojo was trying to stop you, wasn’t he?” You press, watching for any expressions on his face. “He didn’t agree with your ‘new world order.’”

Suguru’s eyes darken, his amusement fading. “Satoru couldn’t see the bigger picture. He believed in saving humanity.” He spits the word as though it disgusts him. “But non-sorcerers are the disease, they are the only reason why curses exist in the first place. Their inability to manipulate cursed energy makes them a liability. They are simply stupid monkeys.”

“I’d say more like bugs, but sure. I got the picture. I wouldn’t exist without their fear,” You respond, a smirk playing on your lips. The thought of humans cowering before you, their screams for mercy echoing in your head, sends a thrill through your entire being. The allure of having your full powers back, unrestricted and untamed, is intoxicating. You can almost taste it, the raw energy that would come from their terror.

"But," You pause, the excitement fading momentarily, "I don’t understand why I’m stuck being a nanny for those two. I’m a curse, Suguru, not a babysitter. I’ve never taken care of kids before."

At the mention of the girls, something shifts in his demeanour. His expression turns soft. It was clear he deeply cared about them. There’s an unspoken tenderness behind his usual sharp eyes.

“Well," He begins, his voice carrying a note of nostalgia, “I found Nanako and Mimiko a few years ago, before quitting. I took them in, you could say I'm like a parental figure to them.” 

You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed. "Can’t anyone else take care of them? Really, I’m not exactly qualified for this. I’d much rather be helping you directly with your... 'new world order.’" You crave the thrill, the chaos, the destruction.

Suguru smiles at your words, seemingly unfazed by your rejection. There’s a warmth in that smile, a gentle amusement, as if he knows something you don’t. "I thought it’d be a good bonding experience. You cut me off when I was asking if you wanted to help," he adds lightly, though there’s a subtle edge of teasing in his tone. "Besides, they love brushing people’s hair. You’d enjoy it. They can be very sweet when you give them the chance."

Narrowing your eyes at him, you cross your arms defiantly. “They will not be brushing my hair, Suguru.”

“You’re missing out, then,” He chuckles, the sound low and almost affectionate. He’s not pressing the issue, but there’s a knowing look in his eyes that tells you he finds your frustration amusing. "Still, I’ll ask you again later to help me out. Absorbing more curses, gathering power... you remember how it was back in the old days. The thrill of it all."

His voice grows more serious, a sly grin creeping across his face as he leans in slightly. "And if you do well, prove yourself, I’ll reward you with something you’ve been looking for. Information about yourself."

You stiffen at that, his words cutting through the fog of irritation. "What kind of information?" You ask, your voice barely more than a whisper. You’ve always known there were things hidden from you, things you couldn’t remember about your past. But to hear Suguru mention it so casually feels like he’s dangling something precious just out of reach: and he knows exactly that you’ll do anything to grasp it.

He tilts his head slightly "Tengen. You know, the sorcerer responsible for sealing you?” His smile widening now too. “He formed this group around your time, and documented things about you. In fact, there’s a whole series of books dedicated to your existence. I know how much you’ve wondered about who you are, perhaps you have hidden curse techniques too."

Your breath catches in your throat. A whole encyclopaedia? Dedicated to you? The mere thought of it makes your pulse quicken, a flood of curiosity swirling in your chest. For so long, you’ve been in the dark about your origins, your purpose. And now, Suguru is offering you the chance to finally uncover it.

But of course, there’s a catch.

"You’re serious?" You ask, trying to keep your voice steady despite the excitement bubbling beneath the surface. "You’d really give me that information if I help you?"

He nods, his gaze unwavering. "Do good by me, and I’ll make sure you get your answers. But in the meantime, you have to take care of the girls." He leans back, his tone becoming lighter again, "Give the girls a chance. They’re not so bad, once you get used to them."

You glance away, the prospect of looking after Nanako and Mimiko still unappealing, but the promise of information... that changes everything. For a moment, you imagine the power you could gain if you knew your full history, your true self. It would unlock parts of you that have been dormant for far too long.

"I’ll do it," You murmur, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing just how much he’s gotten under your skin. But Suguru knows you well enough to recognize the spark of interest in your eyes despite your shy gaze avoiding his direction.

"Good," He says softly, his voice a mixture of satisfaction and promise. "I knew you’d come around. We’re going to change this world, you and me. It'll be the perfect world, and it’ll be your revenge, death’s revenge." He pauses, giving you one last grin before turning to leave. "Oh, and one more thing," He adds over his shoulder, "they really love braiding hair. So just... keep that in mind."

You roll your eyes as he walks away, but a small part of you can’t help but smile despite yourself. Death’s revenge sounds good. You’re back for good, you're back by his side, and no one will be able to stop you two.

—

Feel.

The soft duvet envelops your cold, restless body, the plush fabric wrapping around you like a gentle embrace. You don’t need sleep, not like humans do, yet the comfort of the futon calls to you, coaxing you into its warmth. It’s a luxury you’ve never known, a strange indulgence. He had given you everything: robes of silk and satin, both kimono and yukata, each more delicate and ornate than the last, embroidered with the most intricate of details. Marigolds, red spider lilies, and wolfsbane adorn them. The accessories, the care, the thoughtfulness… it was all new to you. No one had ever treated you this way, with such tenderness, as though you were more than a weapon, more than a curse. For the first time, you felt... like a human, a person.

The warm light of the morning sun creeps through the shoji screens, caressing your skin. The sensation is foreign yet welcome, like the sun itself has chosen to bless you with its touch. Waking up never felt so good before, so serene. Every morning felt like a new beginning, the softness of the world around you contrasting the hardness of your past.

But no... feel.

This is different. There’s something stirring inside you now, a sensation you can’t explain, unfamiliar and unsettling. It isn't just the comfort of the robes, the warmth of the futon, or the sun on your skin. No, this is deeper, creeping through you, uninvited. Something that wasn't there before. Something that... shouldn’t be there, that was never there until now. You can’t place it, can’t name it. But it gnaws at you, especially when you catch the small moments—when he looks at you with a softness you can’t explain, when his voice is gentle, almost kind. The way he treats you, not like a curse, not like a servant. But like someone who matters.

A strange and unsettling warmth blossoms in your chest. It is foreign and unnerving, because it’s unfamiliar. You shake the feeling, try to ignore it, try to rationalise it. You’ve never felt anything like this. Not as a curse, not as something meant to destroy. This is something else, something fragile and alien to you.

Is this what they call... affection? Could that be it? Could you– no, it can’t be. You’ve never felt this way before, never even thought yourself capable of it. You’re feeling something, something dangerous, something you never experienced before in your lifetime. Something that is pulling you toward him, even as you try to resist it.

And maybe, just maybe, you’re not sure if you want to resist it anymore.

And for the first time, you're terrified of yourself.

[judeswhore]

The feminine issue of constantly having tummy ache and Jude always being so confused. He’s so concerned the first few times because he doesn’t want you to be in any pain or discomfort but after a couple of times he’s at his wits end with what to do with you because how are you always unwell. If it’s not a tummy ache you have a headache or something hurts and he just doesn’t know how to help. Finding it slightly worrying that it’s something you’ve normalised so much when there could genuinely be something wrong but overall growing amused every time you tell him you feel unwell or feel sick.

no bc this is so me🤭🤭if it’s not a headache it’s tummy ache :(( im gods strongest solider. but fr jude wld be so baffled by it bc he just doesn’t understand how someone can be in pain w something 24/7 but he’d always try his hardest to help u. like when u have headaches he’ll lay ur head in his lap and hold like a cold compress to ur forehead and massage ur temples and when u have a tummy ache he’d snuggle u and rub his palm over ur tummy to try help. but like it’d get to a point where he’ll ask every morning if you’ve got something wrong with u or if ur apart he’ll text u in the morning “tummy ache of headache today?” bc he just knows u so well and if u text him through the day saying ur in pain from something but ur powering through like texting him “i have a headache but i went shopping :(( i’m so brave” and he’ll reply “my strong girl” bc he knows u just like when he agrees how brave u are

[kaladinstormblessed09]

Okay, now that I’m more composed I wanna give my actual thoughts on Oathbringer. This is my favourite stormlight book so far, and I’m 700 pages into RoW so please no spoilers for that. Spoilers for Oathbringer down below obviously

Oathbringer focuses a lot more on Dalinar, but I'll get back to him. Bridge 4 gets their own pov chapters. Teft struggling with his addiction, Rock with his family, Skar not being able to take in stormlight, Rlain being alone amongst people who mean well but can never truly understand what he’s going through. I love this crew so much! The side characters shine in this book. Elhokar! I ended up liking him so much in it just for him to be brutally murdered right in front of his son. Moash even kicked the child. I was sobbing, I was so upset. He had so much potential. He was becoming a better king, a knight's Radiant. All for it to be just gone. And kaladin took that failure so personally. My baby. You can't always save everyone, but this is something Kal always struggle with. Moash even had the audacity to salute Kaladin, after murdering Elhokar!

Shallan just gets better and better in every book. I love how much she's improved in lightweaving. She was making her own little movie in Urithiru. I freaking love Veil. She's going around stabbing herself and getting arrows stuck in her head saying it's just a flesh wound. And everyone is rightfully baffled at her. I love her. I really loved her scenes with Wit/Hoid. It seems to me wit has a soft spot for Shallan. I love that Shallan and Adolin are married now! I love love love Adolin. Kaladin is right. You can't not like Adolin. He's got such sunshine golden retriever energy. Also, I love that Kaladin gave Shallan boots as a wedding present. LMAO.

Jasnah is the real mvp! Her just breezing through the final battle soulcasting her enemies was so fucking cool! She’s obviously the one who has the most control over their powers. When she decides not to kill Renarin oh man I cried! In fact I cried through the entire last 150 pages!

When szeth swoops down to save Lift and uses Nightblood to kill that thunderclast? When Lift tries to save szeth from Nightblood?! So many epic fucking scenes!

Dalinar really gets his avenger endgame moment with all the radiants! So so so cool!

And now speaking of Dalinar. So, Dalinar. How do I talk about him. He's probably the best written character I've ever read. He's your classic reformed character. His flashbacks when he was in his prime, being the blackthorn was difficult to read. But it shows you why the other country leaders are scared of him. And it's a legitimate worry. Now that the whole world is at the brink of an apocalypse, and he can save people no one trusts him because of his reputation because he used to be a war monger and a tyrant. and he knows that he can just do it again. He can be the balckthorn again and unite the world forcefully so they'll listen to him. It'll be so easy for him. But he doesn't want to do that. He's not that war monger anymore. And no one believes him. It's such good story telling. But after I read what he did to the rift, and to Evi, I didn't know how to root for him anymore. How do you root for a character who has burned a whole city down killing thousands of innocent people, including his wife. how do you root for someone who killed his own wife?? That's why it was so cathartic when we got to that moment between Dalinar and Odium. Odium telling Dalinar to just give in. Give him all his pain, and that he's the one who influenced him into doing bad things. telling him not to take responsibility. I thought Dalinar was gonna give in. He was gonna become Odium's champion and Kaladin would have to fight him. but for once Kal doesn't save the day. Dalinar doesn't give in. This is the best scene in this book, which is hard to choose cause this book is filled with epic scenes. "The most important step a man can take is not the first one. it's the next one. always the next step. You cannot have my pain. If I pretend I didn't do these things it means I can't have grown to become someone else. I'll take responsibility for what I have done. If I must fall I will rise each time a better man." It's about him taking accountability, acknowledging the wrongs of his past. it's about trying to be a better man. It's about forgiveness and doing better. People complain about the lengths of these books but we needed these pages to get that character development to get to this moment where Dalinar defies Odium. I love this book. this 1200 page behemoth and even than I wanted more. I’ve gone back to this sequence multiple times in the last few days. Even as I read RoW now I go back to reading that sequence. And I cry every single time.

In conclusion, Oathbringer was amazing. I can’t wait to finish RoW. Then I’ll only have the secret projects and TLM left until I’m fully caught up with Cosmere! I can’t wait!

[zylian]

“You need someone to hold you back”

Someone to keep him on the right path

Someone to remind him when he’s blinded by emotions

Someone to give him the answer when he can’t look for it

Omg

“I was expecting it to be a moment like ‘you killed my friend now I’m gonna kick your ass’… or like a moment where someone says ‘zam, the only way you’re ever gonna feel good about this is you need to fight him’ or someone talks me into it”

Guys… as a s4 pilled viewer, is this not what those very few sun shield moments were, of subz restraining zam from murdering Spoke and guiding him to focus back on fighting mapic and the reaction zam had to subz dying-

Am I wrong???!!??!!?!???!!!

It’s like he definitely had people through the seasons who stopped him and guided him but now in s6 he has to recognize all of it alone and its not coming to him so easily unless someone literally intervenes willingly or not

He’s always been taught lessons from others but now others know less and Zams baffled by it, he had I think clown, mapic and subz be the strict ones when he lost himself jumping into fights, readying him for battle and the reality of it

So crazy and honestly I hope when he gets to a power hungry state that the first person who reaches him is an enabler and not anyone who is supposed to hold him back

For him to fall horribly due to power but the person he wants to lean on just isn’t there in time to catch him and all he sees is how he isn’t the worst one there

[cometblaster2070]

i'm here to peddle my crystal and farrah agenda so that means it's everyone else's problem now too.

i'd personally like to revamp crystal's entire character. like instead of being the snow king's daughter (which is fucking stupid might i add) she's just the snow queen's daughter, and in this version, the snow queen is a very cold and neglectful mother who couldn't care less about her daughter.

i think it'd be cool to have it established that canon crystal's personality is basically what crystal acted like as a child when ashlynn and briar knew her; as a fun-loving, carefree child with far too much power, but ultimately someone with a good heart who just wants to have fun.

but then crystal grows up. she grows up in a cold, isolated palace, entirely alone save for her callous and uncaring mother and hordes of servants who fear and hate her because of her mother.

this crystal is one that grows up and turns into her mother. she grows up bitter and spiteful and powerful, and she grows up with zero checks on her behavior, because the servants are too scared to ever say no to her, while her mother doesn't really care about what she's doing.

i'd like her to grow into someone so confused and upset; someone who very, very badly suffers from a lack of love or a loving home or parent. someone whose only happy memories are of the friends she made so, so long ago. someone whose happy memories are pushed so far back in favor of all the terrible things that have happened since.

anyways then the entire epic winter plot plays out, those shards in her mother's eyes or whatever, and instead of just being neglectful and cold, her mother becomes downright tyrannical and EVIL, and crystal's forced to go down to ever after high to get help from the only people she has left, who are, of course, ashlynn and briar.

and then, instead of having a whiny fucking little bitch who can't tie her laces and complains at any given moment, we'd have a crystal who is numb and unfeeling (something which i want ashlynn and briar to visibly question and be concerned about; i want them to CONSTANTLY be asking themselves about what the fuck happened to their friend and how can they help), and someone who is very, very selfish and is used to taking care of herself and only herself.

but then throughout the special we see crystal grow, we see her mature and we see her learn to love others and realize that she has a lot of people who love her and care for her too; and then gradually, we see her soften and see how her relationships with the other characters deepen.

and here is where i would want to put farrah in, because the crystal x farrah agenda is getting to me i think it'd serve to highlight the contrast between the two of them.

because on the one hand, we have farrah goodfairy, who loves helping people, who always puts people above herself, who risked literally death in order to ensure that ashlynn had a happy ending with hunter. farrah is someone who is said to exist to make others happy, that is her "job" as a fairy godmother; her own happiness doesn't matter.

but then there's crystal winter. crystal winter, who has cared for only herself and has learnt about the cruelty and harshness of the world from a very young age. someone who was not awarded any warmth and love and has learned to turn acrid and bitter and turn away all and any love. crystal is someone selfish. someone who thinks that she's self-sufficient and would not care to help anyone other than herself.

and then throughout epic winter we see them interact and we see them grow through their relationship with each other. farrah is baffled as to how anyone can be so selfish and self-centered and crystal can't believe anyone as optimistic and naive as farrah exists.

soon they get to know each other however, and crystal learns about farrah and her struggles with realizing her own happiness and farrah learns about crystal's lonely upbringing, and we see how crystal learns to be less selfish and care more about others while farrah learns to finally put herself first and prioritize her own needs sometimes.

and then they kiss in the magical epic winter fever dream because i said so and because all of my favorite ships had cute moments in the dream. i'm not really sure about the end, honestly, i'd just like to change crystal's character.

anyways sorry for this horrible ramble, i just have really strong thoughts on crystal and her ruined potential and epic winter, and i couldn't resist mapping something out.

[poppitron360]

tbh i find you annoying but thats just my opinion. you're allowed to do whatever the fuck you want. good for you. my own opinion - based on petty standards and prejudice and a bit of jealousy - is not a reflection of reality and should not affect you. keep having fun.

also please don't block me because you're posting about something i like and it's not very well known and i just needed to get this out because id explode

… Okay?

This ask is fascinating to me and I have SO MANY QUESTIONS. Imma disect your comment like a lil bug real quick, if that’s okay with you?

If it doesn’t affect me why did you tell me? Like what was the purpose of telling me that you find me annoying? What validation does that give you?

Like you took all that time and effort to 1) seek out my blog 2) read enough of my posts to come up with a REALLY REALLY GOOD BURN LIKE WOW THAT IS SO CLEVER 3) Click on the ask button 4) write this comment 5) CHANGE THE FREAKING FONT- Like you went through the whole process of highlighting that line of text, clicking the “minimise” AND the “strikethrough” buttons and THEN 6) pressing send and you didn’t stop to think ONCE “hey… why the hell am I doing this?”

It always baffles me when people tell me these things like they think I’m not already painfully aware of it. Like I know that I’m annoying to some people THAT’S WHY I’M HERE!!! I have found the one community of people that find what I’m saying interesting!

I’m not posting for YOU I’m posting for THEM. You think I give a shit what you think about me? Are you THAT self-centred? Maybe my posts aren’t tailored to you, and that’s fine! Not everyone is making content specifically for your consumption, and might just be marketing to a different audience. If you’re not pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down, that’s okay. Maybe I’m just not putting it down for your specific needs.

You know, before I joined Tumblr, a comment like this would have sent me SPIRALLING. But now I’ve realised that there is actually a place and a people to whom I am entertaining. I just gotta find the right audience.

One of my favourite inspirational quotes ever is by Einstein and it’s that “everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by it’s ability to climb a tree, it would think itself an idiot” or words to that effect. Yeah- my talent for spinning Leo Valdez round my brain like a candy-floss machine until it eventually turns into content isn’t necessarily “fun at parties” or useful for getting a job or good for… y’know… anything applicable to the Real World™️ but here I’ve found where I CAN put it to good use! And a year ago I didn’t have that.

Before Tumblr, my lil fishy body was struggling ‘er way up that tree. Here, I’ve found my ocean!

Not sure where this metaphor is going in relation to the topic of you finding me annoying… I guess fish me doesn’t feel like such an “idiot” now that I’ve found where I belong? Like I know that my talents are niche but SOMEONE likes ‘em. Actually quite a lot of people like ‘em, judging by my follower count. And I didn’t get this far by just having a cute cat pic as my pfp, but by actually building my skill and working hard! And I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished. SO FUCK YOU!!! HUZZAH!!!

I’m aware of how much of an asshole I sound like, but honestly? I am proud of myself. And my girl deserves her moment.

I feel a little bad responding guns-ablaze bc your hate comment was legitimately kinda nice and considerate?

But Also- how weird is this as a hate comment? Like you’re being insulting but you’re also saying you like my stuff? Geez, it says a lot about you that you can’t even send anon hate correctly.

If you wanna keep reading my stuff, go ahead! You just either gotta power through whatever weird complex you have about me, or just don’t read it. I don’t really see what good sending me this ask will do. Whatever gripe you have, put it aside. Like how I put aside your lack of capital letters in that comment, knowing that my stupid obsessive thing with Grammar shouldn’t affect how I treat other people, and that that is my OWN problem to deal with.

I’m being silly here. I’ve just never had the confidence to roast my haters before. I’ve never had haters to roast (online, anyway) so forgive my overzealousness. If you couldn’t tell- I was a theatre kid and still am…

In all seriousness, I like how self-aware you are that you’re being prejudiced and jealous. And I’m kinda curious as to what specifically you’re jealous of? But that’s just to boost my own ego.

I’m aware that I can be a little intimidating sometimes, particularly in a written form of socialisation. I like grammar, okay? I like rules and guidelines and careful, creative choices to show emotion and how you can break the rules in certain ways to give depth and nuance to the character and find the pattern of letters and characters to communicate what you’re feeling over a written format and-

If you couldn’t tell by all the fanfics I write- I also have a passion for writing.

Also, what specific prejudices? I’m genuinely intrigued. Is it specifically based off of one of the protective characteristics (under the 2011 Equality Act)? Or is it more just the way I behave? Or is it something I said? Like don’t be shy I don’t want vague I want DETAILS!!

And I realise that me writing a whole freaking dissertation on your comment just PROVES your point that I’m annoying but I. Don’t. Care. I’m having fun. I can’t help that I have a lot of Thoughts And Feelings about things. It’s just how my brain works. Also, it is currently 1:23am where I live, so brain go brrr. If you made it this far, anon, I salute you! Thank you for taking the time to hear me out even though you think I’m annoying. That’s honestly a good quality to have. Here, have a sweet 🍬

And I know that that was… intense, to say the least. Oh BOY do I know that I can be intense. But genuinely- GENUINELY- I’d love to sit down and have a discussion with you on this because it truly fascinates me how other people perceive me. And, if you’re comfortable coming out of anon (if not, that’s fine) I’d like to learn more about why you think these things. Not necessarily so that I can change- but it’d be a great opportunity to see what I can learn about myself through what you think at me. I know it seems like I’m mad- I’m really not! I’m just captivated by the world and how others look at me.

Anyway, thanks for hearing me out, and I hope to have good conversations with legitimate constructive criticism in many posts to come! Never stop being passionate. Just maybe direct your passion to something more positive. Thank you so much for the ask, this was a really good thought experiment for me.

[rose-sophia-isabella-rogers]

A Steel That Went Through Hottest Fire: Chapter V - As Cold as Marble

Chapter Summary: The Winter Fete is here! Your heart keeps breaking the more attention Kirigan gives to Alina. But when he needs your help after the events of the party, are you going to give him a hand?

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader, Ivan/Fedyor Kaminsky, David Kostyk/Genya Saffin

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Fedyor Kaminsky, Ivan, Zoya Nazyalensky, Alina Starkov, David Kostyk, Marie, Baghra, Arken Visser, Polina

Word Count: 4028

A/N: This episode contains some plot and dialogues from episodes five and six of season one. Inspired by prompts: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089956305/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089786931/ https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389089783728/

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

@marrymonrich

@wonderland2425

@chelseyyouraverageluigi

@thehufflepuffavenger1

The Winter Fete is almost upon you. You hate it. The court treats Grisha like circus monkeys doing fancy tricks for their amusement. Thank Saints, you don't have to do anything for it. Or so you think…

One day you're working with David on another invention, when Aleksander walks in with Ivan close behind him. He smiles at you and you can't help but smile back. Even though he's been breaking your heart, it still brings you joy to see him.

'General,' David greets him and glances at you. 'How can we help you?'

'The Winter Fete is almost here,' Kirigan says and you both nod. 'This year it's going to be really special, because of the Sun Summoner. How she will perform will determine who's our ally… and who's our foe. We have to make sure it will go splendidly and will be a true show of her power.'

'She's been practising very hard,' you say, frowning. You try to ignore the ping in your heart that you feel because he's here for Alina not you. You try to be objective about it. You're not sure whether you succeed.

'I know that she has,' General agrees. 'But it's just been months. She's still new to this and have never performed during the Winter Fete. If there's something you can do to help her, I'm asking you to do it. For example, something that will help split one beam of light in two.'

'We could…' David starts slowly after a moment. You two look at each other. You bite your inner cheek. You nod.

'Gloves,' you say. 'We could use-'

'Yes,' David agrees quickly. 'And then we could-'

'Yeah, but only if we-' you say.

'Ah, yes,' David agrees and turns to baffled Kirigan. 'It shall be done. Excuse me.'

He hurries away. You look after him. You feel awkward to be alone with Aleksander after the loosening of your relationship. Because for some reason Ivan suddenly moves away- Oh, that sweet bastard. You will kill him for that later.

'Are you two always like that?' the Darkling asks. You force a smile.

'Only if we work on a project together,' you answer.

'So, what did you mean by "but only if we…"?' Kirigan asks.

'Spend most of our time on it,' you explain. 'If we are to complete it on time.'

General frowns. You see him looking you up and down. As if finally seeing you for the first time in a long time. Really see you.

'It's going to be exhausting,' he says and gazes at you with worry. 'And you already look really tired. Forgive me. I've been so busy that I didn't have time to make sure my best friend is having enough rest.'

'Don't apologise for my awful sleeping schedule,' you chuckle. 'It's my fault I can't rest until I finish something.'

Kirigan reaches out to you with a frown. He gently caresses the skin under your eyes. You shiver. He doesn't seem to notice.

'And now you're going to sleep even less, aren't you?' he asks and sighs. 'Maybe I should ask David to do it on his own, he's very skilled too after all, or ask someone else to do it with him. True, they may not be as effective, but they should do for the Winter Fete.'

'Aleksander,' you say softly. 'Don't worry about me. You'll always be my favourite reason to lose sleep.'

'The gloves are not for me,' General says, raising his eyebrows.

'I'm not going to make them because Alina needs them,' you say quietly. You stare at each other in silence for a moment. Finally, the Darklin realises he's still cupping your cheek. He lets his hand drop. You immediately are sad at the loss.

'I should go,' Kirigan says after clearing his throat. 'I promised Alina to explain something to her.'

Your heart clenches. You force a smile.

'I won't keep you,' you say. General nods at you and hurries away. You stare after him sadly. Ivan sends you a worried look and follows his leader.

'I shouldn't be jealous,' you whisper, tears in the corners of your eyes. 'You aren't even mine.'

'Did you say something?' David asks, reappearing at your side. You blink away the tears and turn to him with a smile.

'Just thinking out loud,' you say and clap your hands together. 'So! Want to bet she's not going to need them at all? The gloves?'

David thinks for a moment. He nods after a moment.

'Very well,' he agrees. 'The stakes?'

'The usual?' you ask, smirking.

'Good,' David says and looks at you with pretended menace. 'But you won't win this time.'

'We shall see,' you laugh and turn to your table. You sigh. You already have million ideas about the gloves. But which one is going to be the best?

'You're spending less time with the General lately,' David says casually.

'He's a busy man,' you answer nonchalantly. 'Even more with the Sun Summoner's arrival.'

Your friend is silent. You think he's dropped it.

'[Y/N],' he says suddenly seriously. 'I know we aren't as close as you are with General Kirigan. But I consider you my friend. So, if there's something bothering you, I want you to know you can come to me with it. Understand?'

You look at him with surprise. You've never seen such serious look in his eyes.

'Thank you, David,' you say, touched. He nods.

'Of course,' he says and returns to work. For a moment you consider venting to him. But no. It's your secret. No one can ever know it. Well, no one but Ivan. And possibly Fedyor.

You sigh quietly and focus on your work. After all, the Sun Summoner needs your help. You can't let her powers to be put to doubt. That's simply not acceptable.

*

It's the day of the Winter Fete. The gloves for Alina are ready. You and David take them and go to her room. Your friend knocks and you wait.

'Come in,' you hear Alina's voice. You two enter the room. The Sun Summoner is sitting by a table in a bathrobe. Next to her stands Genya, a Taylor. On the table are her things that help her do her 'magic'. She freezes seeing David. You two stop.

'Hi,' David greets them, waving his hand.

'Uh, this is David Kostyk,' Genya introduces him. 'Expert resident Fabrikator. Right next to [Y/N], of course.'

She sends you a nervous smile. You answer her with a tight one. You hate when people call Durasts and Alkemi Fabrikators. Your powers are completely different, they could learn the distinction.

'He created the blue light we use for crossing the Fold,' Genya explains to Alina.

'Yeah, the general had us make these for your demonstration this evening,' David says, walking quickly to the Sun Summoner. You follow him and he hands her the gloves.

'They're… lovely,' Genya says to David, as Alina puts one of them on. You and Starkov exchange an amused look.

'What do they do?' the Sun Summoner asks.

'They'll make it easier to split one beam… into two,' David explains, showing with his fingers.

'Your show of power will determine who remains our ally,' you add, as Alina creates a ball of light and quickly splits it into two. You watch how one flies a bit above the other and then re-joins it. Then the one ball disappears.

'They'll help enhance your performance,' David says.

'Ingenious,' Genya praises, while Alina takes off the glove. You hide a smirk. You know very well she says it to your fellow Durast.

The Sun Summoner creates another ball of light, now without the glove. She splits it just as easily into two. She repeats what she has done. David looks a bit awkward, while you grin, satisfied.

'I think I'll be all right on my own,' Alina says nervously, picking up the gloves. David clears his throat.

'Of course,' he says, taking the gloves for her. You smile smugly at him.

'Told you,' you say.

'I know, I know,' he murmurs and goes to the door. You wink at the girls and follow him.

'See you at the fete!' Genya calls after you (*cough* David *cough). Your friend stops and looks at her. He tilts his head, then closes the door behind you two.

'Not a word,' he murmurs.

'About?' you ask teasingly, as you walk away. 'Genya or the gloves?'

'Both,' David answers. 'Yes, you won, I will keep the promise of the bet. And not a word about Genya.'

'David, it's obvious she likes you,' you say. The Durast flusters and hurries away. You laugh.

'I guess that means I have to tell General about Alina not needing the gloves?' you call after him. He doesn't answer. You cackle and go to Aleksander's chambers. You find him drinking tea and hovering over the map. He notices you immediately, though.

'[Y/N],' he greets you with a warm smile. 'How did Alina like her gloves?'

'It's good to see you, too,' you say, raising your eyebrows. Kirigan chuckles and walks to you. You have to look up to meet his eyes.

'Forgive me,' he apologises. 'I'm just-'

'Nervous?' you finish. 'I know. And Alina doesn't need them. She was able to focus and split light without the gloves. She's going to be perfectly fine.'

Aleksander's smile becomes a bit forced. You frown.

'I see,' he says and nods. 'That's good. They were only a safeguard, really. In case of nerves. But I'm sorry you had to spend so much time on them. And Mr Kostyk.'

'It wasn't that bad,' you say and grin. 'Besides, I can now tease David about a thing or two.'

Kirigan chuckles. He looks at you but doesn't say a word. You become uncomfortable.

'I imagine there are still some preparations for you,' you say. 'I'll leave you to it.'

'See you at the fete,' Aleksander says. You smile at him and leave. Outside you can't help but compare the tone of his voice to Genya's when she said the same words. Hers were warmer and… filled with something. It hurts.

You shake those thoughts away and go prepare for the fete. When you're ready you head there, as it's already started. And everything is very lovely and all goes well. Including Alina's performance. But when you see her in black kefta… you barely manage to watch the show until the end.

When all the performances are finished, you sneak out. You hate so many people in one place. You walk outside and exhale shakily. The winter's air makes you shiver but only slightly. You have your warm kefta on.

'Something troubling you?' you hear a familiar voice. You turn around, surprised.

'Baghra,' you greet your old teacher. 'I rarely see you outside your hut.'

'I do get out of it sometimes,' she says, walking to you. 'And I wanted to see how the Sun Summoner would do. Not bad. Not bad at all.'

'She was amazing,' you say quietly and look away. Baghra observes you closely.

'Tell me, then,' she says. 'What's troubling you?'

You've always liked her. She saw that you were more than just a mere Durast. She saw it and helped you to see that, too. You're not going to tell her everything, but you may confide in her a bit.

'I have a hopeless crush on someone I have no chance with,' you admit, smiling sadly at her. 'I don't think you can do much about it. Or anyone, for that matter.'

Baghra stares at you intensely. You shiver. It's the same look Kirigan gives you sometimes.

'He's always known how to charm women,' she says wistfully.

'You know-' you start, startled.

'Of course, I do,' Baghra scoffs. 'Others may not see it, but I've watched you ever since the Sun Summoner showed up. You're fading. It has to stop.'

'If only it was that easy,' you say. Baghra stares at you sternly. But then her look softens.

'Run,' she says. You look at her, surprised.

'I'm sorry?' you ask. 'From what?'

'From him,' Baghra answers. 'While he's busy with her. For now, he fails to see- Never mind what. But when he does see it… you will never escape.'

'Why would I want to?' you ask, frowning. Baghra grabs your wrist. Tightly.

'Because he's not who he seems to be,' she says urgently. 'He hides behind half-truths and manipulations. He's… He… He doesn't want the same as others. He has other plans. Plans that are going to doom us all. He wants to finish what he's started long ago. With the Fold. Run from it while you can.'

She looks at you almost pleadingly. You stare back at her. You think she's expected disbelief, shock or panic from you at those words. But you don't even blink. Her hold on you loosens.

'He told you?' she asks, stunned. You shake your head.

'He didn't have to,' you say and look away. 'My powers still grow stronger every day. Even more so when I started to spend more time with him. One day I realised… I can tell how old some metals are when I feel into them. Including magnesium in his bones, muscles… Once, for the fun of it, I focused on his.'

If not for the dark, you would see Baghra's face going white. You twist your fingers.

'Luckily he was busy with something else, so he didn't see my shocked look,' you say and look at Baghra. 'I… figured out the rest. Who he is.'

'And you didn't give him away?' Baghra asks. 'Nor run away? Nor push him away?'

'Why would I do such a thing?' you ask, frowning. 'He's my friend. I could never betray him.'

The old woman stares at you. She sighs sadly.

'He doesn't deserve you,' she says and looks at you. 'Run. I mean it. Save yourself.'

'Didn't you hear me?' you ask and give her a hard look. 'I could never betray him.'

Baghra looks at you, stunned. You turn around and walk back inside. The old woman stares after you sadly. She's afraid how this will end for you.

*

You don't want to be on the fete any longer. You hurry past the guests, avoiding looking at anyone. But someone spots you anyway and grabs your arm.

'What's wrong?' Ivan asks you, looking at you with worry. You smile slightly.

'I'm just tired,' you say, not exactly lying. 'I've had busy days lately. And the crowd is not helping me.'

'Do you need anything?' Ivan asks. You smile at him and squeeze his hand on your arm.

'No, but thank you,' you say. 'It means a lot you care.'

'Don't let anyone know, my reputation would be ruined,' Ivan says, a slight smirk on his lips.

'Oh, no, we wouldn't want the reputation of Ivan the Grumpy to be ruined,' you say in mock horror. Ivan chuckles. You chuckle, too, and walk away. But almost immediately you bump into shocked Alina and amused Fedyor.

'Was that Ivan… laughing?' the Sun Summoner asks and looks at you with wonder. 'Are you the Ivan whisperer?'

'I'm not,' you snort.

'But he does have a soft spot for her,' Fedyor confirms. Alina looks at you with interest.

'What did you do?' she asks.

'I aggressively poked a person who tried to kill General with a dagger,' you answer. Alina's eyes go wide.

'You… stabbed someone?' she asks with disbelief.

'Aggressively poked them,' you correct her and walk past them.

'Better not to make you angry, then,' you hear her murmur behind your back, still in shock. You smile, amused, and leave the party.

You head toward a hidden chamber. Your talk with Baghra filled you with determination. Maybe you can't have the one you want. But it doesn't mean others like you have to suffer. So, you head toward the place you know Genya Saffin is going to be.

You open the secret door and are baffled by the sight in front of you. A man in the guard's uniform is about to kill Alina's double. You quickly focus on the knife in his hand and force it out of it. The man gasps and turns around. You glare at him.

'Surrender now,' you order.

'Never,' the man spats and throws Marie who's Alina's double to the side. The girl yelps and the man throws himself at you. You may have not trained with Botkin, but after the incident with poison, Ivan gave you a few lessons. You manage to hit and kick the man. He hits the mirror and falls with it.

'Guards!' Marie yells. Genya rushes in hearing her scream.

'What is-?' she starts and stops, stunned. At the same moment the man fires his pistol at you. You manage to change the course of the bullet, but Genya's sudden appearance deconcentrates you enough to make it graze your arm. You grit your teeth and focus on the iron in the man's body. He groans in pain.

'Guards!' Genya calls. A moment later four guards burst in and apprehend the assassin.

'Marie, are you alright?' Genya asks, hurrying to the Inferni.

'Yes,' the girl confirms and looks at you with wide eyes. 'Thank you.'

You nod at her. You glance at the fake guard.

'I'll inform General,' you say and walk out of the room. You find out Aleksander was seen heading to his chambers with Alina. Your heart breaks at that, but there's no time for jealousy. You reach Kirigan's chambers and knock urgently. Then again. And again. Only then Aleksander finally opens the door. Smiling and happy. No, ignore that [Y/N].

'What is it?' he asks, looking around.

'Marie was attacked in the fitting room,' you explain. 'I showed up at the last moment to save her. Alina was the target. We have the would-be-assassin in the custody.'

Aleksander glances behind himself. Then, he frowns and looks at you.

'You saved her?' he asks. 'Why were you there in the first place?'

'I needed to speak to Genya,' you answer. 'And I used my powers to pull away the knife from his hand. And hit him. Kicked him in the mirror. Guards showed up. The end.'

He opens his mouth to say something, but freezes. He reaches out to you and gently touches your arm.

'You're hurt,' he says. You shake your head.

'It's just a graze,' you say. Aleksander grabs your other arm tightly. He glares at you.

'Go to a Healer, now,' he hisses. 'Understood? I will go to the prisoner.'

'I'm fine,' you say, a bit surprised. General touches your wound. You hiss in pain. He glares at you.

'This is not fine,' he says. 'Go and get a Healer. I know very well you care little about your well-being, but I care a lot, so go and have someone look at it. Understand?'

'Yes,' you murmur. Kirigan's grip loosens a bit.

'Good,' he says and caresses your cheek. 'I don't like seeing you hurt.'

You nod. For a moment you stare at each other. Aleksander is the first to shake off.

'Go,' he says and disappears in his chambers, closing the door. You sigh and turn around. You go to find a Healer, shaking your head. But… it felt nice to see him worried so much.

*

The assassin was working together with three rouges from Ketterdam. Well, he arrived with them and was supposed to work with them, but betrayed them and tried to kill Alina, while they were tasked to bring her to Kerch. But they figured it out and sent him on Marie instead. And apparently, they took Starkov. Because they're gone and she is nowhere to be found as well.

Worried how Aleksander is taking it, you knock on the door to his chambers. Hearing the invitation, you walk in. He's working behind his desk.

'[Y/N],' he says, sounding tired. 'How is your wound?'

'Healed,' you answer, walking slowly to him. 'A Healer fixed me right up.'

'I'm glad,' Kirigan says, forcing a smile. You look at him with worry.

'Are you going to look for her?' you guess. 'Alina.'

'Yes,' Aleksander confirms, nodding. 'At sundown, I'm leading a team to pursue the criminals who took Miss Starkov.'

'I see,' you say quietly. 'Anything I can do to help?'

'No, I-' Kirigan starts but stops, frowning. You look at him with interest.

'There is,' you guess. 'What is it?'

'I was going to ask David,' Aleksander says after a moment, not looking at you. 'But I trust you more. And your abilities.'

'How can I help?' you ask, straightening your back. But Kirigan is silent. You frown.

'Aleksander?' you ask. 'What is it?'

'I don't want you to-' he says and cuts himself off. 'You mean a lot to me.'

'And you to me,' you say, confused. 'Are you worried I will get hurt?'

'No,' Kirigan denies. 'I mean, that too, but… Doesn't matter. I will ask David.'

You frown. You cross your arms.

'Tell me,' you demand. But he's stubbornly silent. You walk to him and cup his cheek. You force him to look at you.

'You just said you trust me,' you say. 'It doesn't look like that. But you really can. I mean, I know you're much older than you look like and yet I haven't told anyone about it.'

Aleksander tenses. He looks at you with wide eyes.

'What?' he asks, shocked. You bite your inner cheek.

'For some time… I've been able to know how old are metals,' you explain. 'Including magnesium in human body. And… magnesium in your bones, for example, is… old. Really old.'

Kirigan's face goes pale. He leans on the back of the chair.

'How long?' he asks. You shrug.

'Don't ask me specific date, because I don't know,' you answer. 'But it began after I started spending more time with you. Using more power during working on the skiff.'

'And you didn't tell anyone?' Aleksander asks with disbelief.

'Why would I?' you ask. Kirigan is stunned to see a real confusion on your face. His heart aches.

'Surely you know what that means,' he says. 'Who I am.'

'My best friend,' you say strongly. 'And my General, who desperately tries to make sure Grisha are safe. That's all that matters to me.'

Aleksander slowly stands up. He cups your cheek, tears glistening in his eyes.

'You have no idea how much it means to me,' he says. You touch his hand on your cheek.

'Let me come with you,' you plead. 'Whatever it is you need a Durast for, I'll do it. For Grisha. For you.'

General smiles softly. He lets go of your face.

'Very well,' he agrees. 'I'll explain everything I need from you after we find Alina.'

You nod, agreeing on that. You turn to leave. But your friend grabs your arm. You look at him, curious.

'I don't want you to forget you're not a fighter,' he says. 'You saved Marie, yes. And me once as well.'

'Twice,' you correct him. Aleksander smiles, amused.

'Yes, twice,' he concedes. 'But you're still not a fighter. So, if I tell you to stay back, you do it. If I tell you to hide, you do it. Understand?'

'Yes, General,' you answer seriously. Kirigan rolls his eyes.

'Get ready,' he says. You nod and leave. You get ready and at sundown you meet with Aleksander, Zoya, Ivan and Polina, an Inferni. Three Grisha are surprised by your presence.

'[Y/N]?' Zoya asks. 'You're coming with us?'

'I'll need her for what comes next,' Aleksander explains, opening the door to his coach. You all get inside.

'Well, at least we know that if someone is going to kill General, [Y/N] will aggressively poke them with a dagger,' Ivan says. Zoya and Polina snort. Kirigan smiles in amusement. You glare at him.

'Don't think I won't,' you say and turn to look out of the window. Your heart is beating fast as you set off. You can feel everything is about to change once you find Alina. Maybe even the whole world.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could.

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52696933/chapters/133827241

[reverieblondie]

oh my good lort

what if zev is out and about as he tends to be and winds up meeting a few of her exes? they're all classically handsome and honestly look very similar,he gets a little confused and maybe down on himself when he finds out. BUT they all thin shes a giant bitch! like she never cooked or baked or doted on them, she was momentarily willing to be seen with them and when she got know them better she just BOUNCED. zevs so short next to them, listening to them complain about her and his his gears are just sticky cause hes sure they cant be talking about the same woman.

just imagine them all wondering what hes got going on that shes with him and hes just also confused. eventually hes able to focus and tells them to shut up about her, shes not their business any more and so on.

shes just out shopping and happens across him yelling at them to shut up

"My sweet biscuit! leave them be, they're no matter."

so he leaves and helps her carry her bags, they exes are just watching her dote all over him BAFFLED

This is my new obsession 💖

My house has no power currently so just writing these little blurbs for Zevlor and his high elf girlfriend has been giving me life as I sit around bored. Please check out @faerunsbest post about it!

They came up with the idea of Zev being with just a beautiful woman and she is just completely enamored by him, not only does she think he handsome with all his propionate features but he’s kind and strong.

Plus I can totally see this scenario happening. I image that when they get back to her place he’s a bit quiet not because he is mad at her he is still mad at them and why they said those terrible things about her…he shouldn’t let them say those things! He’s going back!

But before he can go back she’s grabbing him by the arm pulling him back. Zevlors breaths start to steady when shes holding him. Her cool skin calming that raging fire within.

Turning he holds her in a hug, his nose being buried in her hair, “I do not care what they say…to me you are an angel…the sweetest person I have ever known. I often feel unworthy of you…but know that I will always be here…if you want me…”

She feels her eyes starting to well up in tears, “Zevlor, I have not always been…a good person, I have been selfish and a coward…crast and cruel. But you, my beautiful flame, I want to be better. I want to be the one who is worthy of you…”

She looks up and him and traces her hand over his cheeks then to his jaw then tracing a finger over his lips, tracing the little crease there. “I love you…”

Zevlor feels his heart flip, its the thing he had been dying to tell her and now she is confessing it to him. Zevlor can’t help to bring his lips to hers to taste those sweet words he had been dreaming of, for someone to love him…to think he hung the moon and the stars. He threads in fingers through her soft hair and she pushes herself closer to him. Breaking the kiss he can only mutter the same thing over and over like reciting a prayer, “I love you…I love you…”

The kiss continues and before they both know it she is jumping in his arms her legs wrapped around his waist and he walks blindly to find her room. That was the first night they made love ❤️

[still-a-morosexual-help]

What always baffles me is when people try to argue that Satan and Mammon are the most ‚innocent‘ of the bunch when it comes to s*xual stuff. Like, bro, it is literally canon that when Lucifer and Satan switched bodies Satan and Mammon organized a big party and invited loads of Succubi which I am pretty sure is just an euphemism for an or/gy just to anger Lucifer. (AND considering Asmo went in their stead and came back VERY satisfied, I am most likely right.)

I think Beel's actually the most innocent considering he didn't know what a threesome was?

But yeah Mammon has fucked before - pretty sure it's canon that he slept with Maddi. He's also the one who Asmo took to a lot of his parties (which yeah I'm pretty sure are orgies).

Satan, I imagine has had sex - he's going through his rebellious phase, he knows a lot of people so it's surely come up at some point, his whole knowledge is power thing means he's definitely at least tried it out. But he's also one of the brothers who gets the most flustered when sex is casually brought up - eg: when Mammon says he's MC's first man (in regards to their pact together) and Satan tells him not to phrase it like that.

Overall,

Mammon's definitely someone who has fucked and slept around a lot but has never being in a romantic relationship which is why he gets so flustered with MC - he's actually in love with them and that's throwing him off. You can even notice in canon how he blushes and stutters more when talking about liking MC or even holding hands with them than he does when they're about to sleep together

Satan's probably had sex but personally I don't see it as being a priority to him, maybe it'd happen more often if he's in a sexual-romantic relationship with someone but outside of that I see it as something he'll indulge in somewhat rarely, once in a while, as a stress relief