#but it's a very real thing that really happens to me

[luckyladylily]

So like, transandrophobia.

To start this out, I am a trans woman, been around in the queer community for a while. I'm also bisexuality, polyamorous, disabled, and aromantic, and I think these other parts of my identity and the crap I've caught over the years for them heavily informs how I analyze something like transandrophobia. My wife is also asexual, so that plays a part in it too.

So every group of marginalized people has their own unique experiences and problems. It's more of a rule than something we've mathematically demonstrated, but as far as these things go it's ridiculously well established, and personally every time I've done even a basic dive into the issues faced by a marginalized group it's been self evident. I could easily list a dozen groups ranging from racial minorities to different kinds of disabled people to different queer identities and analyze their social issues but let's be real, this is pretty well established theory, anyone who needs me to do that is not really interacting with good faith. This is one of the big reasons we talk to people about their own experiences and groups, we cannot reasonably extrapolate the experiences of others from our own.

So like trans men and trans mascs and anyone else that falls under that umbrella has their unique experiences. The idea that we would even question this is weird to me? Like I can't even imagine the kind of evidence someone would need to present to me to change my mind, and given the pattern of the queer community to be shitty in exactly this way to people in our community, yeah that is not happening.

Therefore, we are taking it for granted that the trans men/masc/related umbrella has their own things going on like everyone else ever, and I don't understand how someone acting in good faith can try to claim otherwise unless they are young or otherwise very inexperienced with such things.

The next point of contention seems to be the name, and I gotta be real I don't care and I don't understand why other people do. I've read all sorts of arguments against the word transandrophobia and the majority of them seem to be rooted in a misunderstanding of intersectionality, and even then it's like there is such a thing where people get so mired in theory that they miss the forest for the trees.

Perhaps more important to me, getting overly worked up about something as unimportant as the precise term is... weird. Like exclusionists hating on bi and ace people weird. I remember what it was like a decade ago when exclusionists were trying to police the words of bi women, and five years ago when ace and aro people were under constant attack under the pretense that our language was harmful for some reason or other. You are going to have to work very, very, very hard to convince me that any bickering over language as it relates to transandrophobia is not just more of the same.

Next, "transandrobros hate trans femmes" and similar stuff. I've seen the callout posts and found them completely unconvincing. Again, they read a lot like the old "ace people hate lesbians!" posts I used to see. I'm not convinced that the individuals involved were a problem, I am certainly not able to extrapolate a problem to the rest of the group.

Finally, there is this idea that "maleness is not a vector for oppression" and this invalidates something about the whole transandrophobia thing, ranging from the entire concept of trans men experiencing prejudice to something about language being imprecise all the way to "This is fascist shit, omg these people are basically nazis" depending on who says it. I'm not going to touch any of that and just look at the underlying logic.

This is based off a misunderstanding of intersectionality theory. Many people think of intersectionality as defining intersecting prejudice, like a ven diagram, such that transmisogyny is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny. This is incorrect. Intersectionality defines unique prejudice experienced by people with intersecting identities. Instead of a transmisogyny as the overlap of transphobia and misogyny, imagine adding a third circle that overlaps both but also has its own areas covered by neither.

Applied to transandrophobia, even if we assume maleness is not a vector for oppression, there is no reason to assume that the intersection of maleness with a marginalized identity doesn't result in new issues. Imagine that 3 circle venn diagram that represents misogyny, transphobia, and transmisogyny. Even if you remove the misogyny circle there is still plenty of ground covered by the transmisogyny circle.

This just isn't a valid criticism. It is a pure theory approach based on a flawed reading of theory.

So in summary:

Everyone has their unique shit going on and I've seen no convincing evidence that trans men, mascs, etc. Are the exception.

I not seen any convincing argument that the word itself is bad.

I've not seen any convincing evidence that there is some epidemic of transandrophobia truthers hating and harassing trans femmes on scales higher than normal background queer infighting.

The most coherent objection to transandrophobia I've seen is categorically incorrect and based on a fundamental misunderstanding of intersectionality theory.

I would like to remind everyone at this point I am a trans woman, part of the group that is supposedly a problem for and I've just not see it at all, to the point where it is kind of weird how intensely some people are pushing this.

I'm not trying to be mean or whatever, I'm sure the distress on display here comes from a real place and real trauma, but I've yet to see anything that makes me think there is substance to the objections to transandrophobia as a concept. It feels and reads like the latest round of queer intracommunity exclusionism, and the fact that this time around I'm not one of the target identities doesn't change that for me.

[webzazes]

making this danny phantom teehee ❤️

My family always seemed like the most normal people in the world. But, we're filthy rich. I'm not a fan of it, but it's whatever. At least I have funds for passion projects, and hopefully, in due time, my own greenhouse (I've wanted one for years).

I actually only learned what really made us so successful recently, though. Ever since I was young, I was told over and over again that it was due to an invention, something useful and prominent in everyday life. However, it turns out that we're so wealthy because of black magic.

The thought alone inspired me so much, and I was already into gothic and fantastical things- it practically tripled my obsession. My parents, however, thought I was "too obvious" or "too gloomy" for our happy little family, especially because of my style of dress, but I was dead-set on breaking away from the norm after I learned how, well, not normal we are under wraps.

This made me a loner at school. I was different, and I wasn't a fan of going out of my way for friendships, let alone any unnecessary social interaction. I kept to myself, and became "the weird goth girl". Honestly, I was happy with that.

But, being a loner led me to Danny. And, of course, his friend Tucker. They accepted me- although we did butt heads at times, as is natural. We'd go to Danny's house, hear about his parents' work, and especially, their obsession with ghosts.

As someone getting into the occult, (I was actively training myself with books from our family library) I was interested. Very interested. I knew about souls, zombies, and demons, but not so much about ghosts themselves, the physical representation of a consciousness and soul tied down to Earth.

So, when Danny brought us to his basement to show us the "ghost portal" his parents were working on, I was excited. Really excited. Of course, I didn't let that show, I figured it might be as dumb as all of the other Fenton tech, and I wasn't expecting it to be dangerous, either.

But, when Danny stepped in to try and turn it on, I realized it was, in fact, dangerous. Very much so. The sheer amount of force I felt when the portal opened was almost painful- but never could be as painful as the sight of what happened to Danny because of it. He looked almost burned in places, and practically wilted to the ground.

He was limp. And he didn't look right, either- his hair was a shocking, clear white, and his eyes were green. At the time, I didn't even notice that the protective suit he was wearing had changed. But I could 100 percent tell that he was dead. Stone cold and limp, dead.

Tucker looked to be on the verge of tears, but I didn't care. I had to do something! I could feel some kind of residual energy on Danny's body, and I thought, "a source". A source of power for me to use, something I could heal him with.

Healing was my passion. I've always cared for life. Especially in this instance- Danny wasn't allowed to die. He couldn't die. I don't know what I would've done if he did..

So, in a split second, I was by his side. I was full healer mode, to the point I knew I couldn't let Tucker see my face. If he saw my eyes, well, he certainly wouldn't have been able to forget them any time soon..

I grasped at the energy left on Danny, and I made it mine. My emotions made me strong, determined, and I used that energy to successfully make an offering to Danny's soul. It was like summoning a demon- I'd seen my mom do it before- but more intimate, as I touched his spirit, poured its power into his bloodstream, and pulled at it, as I tied it to his body. I could almost feel the ectoplasm in my hands- and that's when I realized what the residual energy really was. Ectoplasm.

The ghost portal was real.

All in all, the whole process of "fixing" Danny, well.. it felt like nothing. And it really was quick. Thankfully, once I told Tucker that Danny was breathing, he didn't think to question the wait. He said nothing. And I couldn't bring myself to say that Danny was still cold..

So, hurriedly, we took Danny to his room, and told his parents he was tired. We said that he fell asleep while playing games with us. That was it.

That is how it all started.

You always wanted to be a Healer. Unfortunately, your dad was an Necromancer and your mother a Demon Summoner. So your healing was a bit… unconventional to say the least.

[jjkarmy091]

Second Best- Jungkook (part 8 )

Summary: Being friends with someone who has your heart it’s already hard, let alone when that special someone ends up falling in love with your best friend, the one you think would never make anything to hurt you . Will you be able to ignore it and move on? what will happen when everything gets too much for you to handle?

Genre: Friends to lovers; angst; body insecurities; bullying; friend betrayel;

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Wordcount: 5.781

Author's note: It took me a lot but here it is. Got so many blocks writting this and I'm not satified with it. It doesn't matter how many time I write and rewrite it, it feels like it's never good enough but I tried my best so please go easy on me. Hope you like it and let me know if you want a next chapter or not. Also: I'm sorry for any mistakes

Love you loads <3

When Y/n woke up the next morning she could swear her head was gonna fall off. It was one of those headaches it makes you wanna clung onto the bedsheets and never leave ‘till the next day. Flashbacks of the night before went through her brain but she brushed them off. She wanted to enjoy the few days she had taken, yet she’s still thinking about the same. She thought she was doing a good job but Taehyung’s words didn’t really help too, she definitely was going to face Sewoon with all these facts. Y/n always chose kindness over anything else but would all of that have gotten her anywhere? Looking back, she had serious doubts about that. 

Getting up from the bed and heading to the bathroom she notices everything is still very quiet which means Lisa is still asleep. Y/n wants to do something nice for her so she decides to make a huge breakfast once she knows that food is Lisa's undoing and starts preparing things without making too much noise (or at least trying to). Everything’s almost ready when Y/n listens to steps aproaching the kitchen/living room area as she pours some orange juice in Lisa’s cup saying good morning. Lisa looks at her and smiles, answering her back and sitting down.  

“what’s all this?”  

“It’s just a way to thank you for being such a great person to me. I know I've been hard to handle these last days but I want you to know that I truly feel grateful for everything you’ve done for me so far. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know how things would’ve ended up for me, I’d probably be crying in my room, thinking how much I suck because the guy I’m in love with doesn’t love me back” 

“I told you Y/n, it’s completely fine. I always liked you. You bring such a positive vibe and you’re so kind and fun to be around. It’s good to be around you and if I can help you somehow I will.” A few minutes of silence passed until Lisa asked what she was dying to know. “Did you talk to him?” Y/n stops suddenly, swallows hard and shakes her head.  

“No” 

“care to explain why?” 

“I’ve been thinking about your words and you’re right! I have to stop being a pussy and be real with myself and my feelings, not for others but for me. All this mess started because I'm always comparing myself to others all the time. I was so scared that Sewoon and Jungkook would meet and I was the bridge for them to start something. I allowed this. If only I wasn't so afraid and had more confidence in myself maybe it would be me in Sewoon's place and that kills me inside Lisa. For once in my life it would have been simple and sincere and I'm the only one to blame for this."

"What makes you think he was never interested in you Y/n? Because from what you told me it seemed to me that he was quite into you” 

"He definitely wasn't Lisa, you're confusing things. He found my attitude towards him funny when we first met, I don't know. But he never showed any signs, he never said anything and I was afraid of destroying the friendship we were building by saying something. He even used to go on dates. At the end he would go to the coffee shop and we would talk about it and stuff.” 

Lisa frowned “So he went on dates but never hooked up with them afterwards? a boy in his prime, with basic needs and would always come to you afterwards? You never found anything weird?” 

“For what he told me he had just gotten out of a complicated relationship. I think he was more interested in meeting new people, go out for a bit, clear his head.” 

“and come back to you in the end” Lisa mocks while Y/n throws a piece of bread at her, hitting her in the forehead. “Don’t be annoying” 

“Y/n you may not understand much about boys but I do and that's not normal for someone who don't have feelings for you. At best, he would go home.” Y/n drank some of her juice. "stop it! if that was true he wouldn't have gone straight to my supposed best friend. Why would he do that if he was interested in me?  The way he looked at her, how he said she was the best thing that ever happened to him and that he would never be able to love anyone the way he loves her. Not to mention what he did for Sewoon. She told me some things and all I could think about was how I wish it was me instead. I hoped it was me but I'm a coward, that's why I'm still here, 23 years old and a virgin. Even in that regard, Sewoon was lucky.” Y/n looks at her plate, trying to avoid eye contact with Lisa, knowing that would be enough to make her start crying but kept talking

“How she described the way he touched her, grabbed her, how he -- in short, everything. There was this one time she couldn't stop talking about how and where they did it so I invented that I was super busy and couldn't talk so she could leave and I could cry in peace. I swore never again.” 

“After everything Tae told you do you still think things are as Sewoon says?” Y/n didn’t answer, instead she got up and started taking the dishes onto the table, washing them. Lisa got up too, leaving her plate in the sink "always listen to things with a hint of doubt but specially with your heart." Y/n decided to change the subject. 

“What are we doing today?” Lisa laughed “let’s introduce you to this place the right way. See something else than snowboards” With this they got ready for the day. Lisa already knew the place with the palm of her hands so she knew what and where to go with Y/n.  

Even tho her mind was still in another place she actually found herself enjoying their time there. She enjoyed it so much that she didn't even notice the days passing by until the day for them to leave had arrived. Although the first days were complicated now she didn't mind staying another day or two but there were things to fix that she was eager to mend and she wouldn't find the so needed peace she wanted until everything was cleared up.

On their last day there Lisa suggested to go for a hot chocolate where they found Tae and his friend once again. They saw each other a lot during their staying and ended up clearing everything up and agreed that Sewoon was a NO topic. That night they went to a club all together and Y/n remembers having so much fun and getting so drunk that she ended up on top of Tae's friend. (Not the way you guys are thinking, pervs ;)

Y/n already had too much to drink and once they were stepping out of the club she tripped and Tae's friend was there and tried to hold her only for Y/n to bring him down with her. All of them laughed and they even took a picture of them both on the floor in a suspicious position. She just hoped any of it would end up on social media, at least for now because she knew either Sewoon or Jungkook would see it, but of course things never go the way she wanted them too. On their way home Y/n got a notification on instagram saying Taehyung tagged her in a photo so she opened it and saw a set of pictures, the first being Y/n, Lisa, Tae and his friend with drinks on their hands and Tae's arm around Y/n's waist and the second just a photo of Y/n and Tae making a funny face among with other random pics with the caption “Glad to see an old flame again. Loved these days with the best people. Let's repeat it next year” Fuck

She still had two days before going back to work and a few hours' journey ahead of her and the last thing she wanted was to end these wonderful days in an anxiety attack at an airport far from home because of a set of pictures.

It was a peaceful trip, they both took the opportunity to sleep and rest during the flight since when they arrived they had a lot to do. Y/n agreed to move to Lisa's house just as she had proposed. One night before going to sleep she spoke with her landlord and canceled the lease so she had little time to organize her stuff and take them to Lisa's. As soon as the plane landed they looked at each other and smiled, grabbed their things and slowly walked out of the airport where Lisa's father was waiting for them. As soon as they got into the car, Lisa said 

“I'm sad it's over but I'm happy we're getting home. I honestly love traveling but the moment I get to my space and make myself comfortable at home is always the best of all. Speaking of it, we still have to get your things. How about we go to my house, unpack, have lunch and then pack the rest of your stuff? Unless you're tired”

“I agree with you Liz, nothing feels better than the comfort of home, and yes, I was thinking the same. I still have two days before going back to work so I have to make the most of it. Right now, i just really want to eat I’m starving and I can’t function without food” They both laugh. Lisa asked her father to turn on the radio and as soon as he did, Tate mcrae's new song started to play. Needless to say they started singing with all their power until they arrived at Lisa's house. Y/n didn't remember having that much fun, not even with Sewoon and she had known her for years.  

After arriving at the place, her father said goodbye to them and left their bags at the front door so they could unpack them. They decided to order Taco Bell and while they waited for food and for the washing machine to stop, they sat down on the sofa. Y/n was looking at her phone until she heard herself say 

“I don’t know what to do” Lisa gets confused and kept her silence in order for Y/n to say something else, getting comfy on the couch. It took her a while to speak again.

“I-  we got back to reality and I can't ignore the fact that I never spoke to Jungkook again ever since that day. It's making me nervous because my mind is racing 1000 percent, I mean, imagine he no longer wants to talk to me or listen to what I have to say.. In hindsight I should have said something to him but I was so hurt. Furthermore, I received a message from Sewoon asking what the hell I was doing with Tae without telling her. Let's just say it wasn’t a very nice message. What should I do Lisa?” 

“First of all breath Y/n. Being like this won't get you anywhere. Second: I honestly think you should send a text to Jungkook, tell him that you need to talk to him and that you know that ignoring him wasn't the right choice but that there are a lot of things he doesn't know and that it's difficult to explain. Ask him to meet, preferably in a place other than your work because it will draw a lot of attention on you. You still have time to get back to work, make the most of it before - " Before Lisa finished, the washing machine was heard making its characteristic sound and Lisa apologized and said she'd be right back while Y/n continued sitting on the sofa looking stupidly at her phone. Lisa was right, she couldn’t drag this anymore.

“Hi Jungkook, how are you? I hope you’re doing well. I’m doing good. I know i probably kept you up at night, or maybe you didn’t even think of me but still I’m writting this to give you some heads up on why I disappeared the way I did. Truth is, I had a lot going on these last few months and I know that’s not an excuse and I was on the wrong for not replying to your texts but honestly I didn’t know what else to do. I was in a real mess. I still am and the way I thought it was possible to get out of this chaos inside my mind was to escape my reality and move away. I'm sorry, I know I should have said something but I'm ready to explain everything to you now, if you still want to.  

I love you.” 

During the rest of the day Lisa helped Y/n move her things to her new place. The fact that she didn’t have a lot of things made it easier. After that, they went grocery shopping and ended up passing by Y/n’s work and decided to walk in being greeted for her co-worker Sana 

“Ohh well well well. Who do we have here? Good evening lady and welcome back! thought you’d never show your face around here again. I already miss you, how are you doing? And most importantly, when will you return? I'm so tired of putting up with the boss alone, everyday he gets more and more annoying” She says making Y/n and Lisa laugh. 

“It’s been wonderful having some days to actually rest, sad to see it end” Yn says with a smile. “How’s it going around here?” 

“Pretty much the same you know. Had your really hot friend coming over everyday at the same hour he used to come. I guess he didn’t believe me when I told him you took some days off. Weird you didn’t, you guys were so close and were together all the time I thought you’d end up together after he broke things off with Sewoon. The last time I saw him was two days ago with her actually. They came here together.” Y/n’s heart stopped for a second and she had a hard time breathing all of a sudden 

“Together how?”  

“Like I said they came in here together, sat at that table over there and chatted for a while. It was a very busy shift and I was alone here so I couldn’t see or hear a lot. When it calmed down I looked at them, Jungkook was holding her hand and saying something to her while she looked like she was crying or about to. Then I couldn't understand anything else because several customers came in at the same time. When I noticed, he was already coming to pay and Sewoon was at the entrance waiting for him. That day he didn't say anything, he looked somewhere behind me but didn't speak, he just smiled, paid and left but I couldn’t see if he went alone or with her. I’m sorry”  

Of course this was going to happen, all she had to do was disappear for a few days and they wouldn't waste time getting on top of each other. She was so stupid. Was she really worthless? Lisa looked at her worriedly but didn't say anything, simply ordered two drinks while Y/n thanked her and looked out the window. If she had known, she would have enjoyed the trip even more without thinking about those two. She felt bad about leaving Jungkook in a vacuum and he was very much entertained. She always had a tiny bit of hope but what for? Sana had left to prepare their order when Lisa spoke 

“Don't pay attention to it Y/n. It could be many things, you don't know. If he really was with her why was he always coming over and asking about you?” 

“Because that’s what friends are supposed to do Lisa! They worry about each other, which makes sense given how I left the club that night and the fact that I didn't say anything to him in the following days made him think that something bad had happened to me. Everything friendship based.. Maybe that's why he didn't answer me, because he's with her. Sewoon must have shown him the photos we took with Tae on vacation. He was sure I was okay so he moved on with her, again.  

Lisa didn't have the chance to say anything because their order was given to them and they said goodbye to Sana and made their way to the car. Lisa started driving and to get home they had to pass by Y/n's old house. As they approached the road Y/n saw someone she knew very well, Sewoon and next to her was Jungkook in front of her old appartment. As if they could see her, Y/n leaned as far back as she could against the seat.  

""Lisa, for all that is most sacred to you, please don't stop here, don't look, don't do anything other than move as quickly as possible. Don’t ask me anything just go!" 

Always the second, never the chosen, as always. 

-------------------------------------------------------------- 

As they get to their now shared apartment Y/n tells Lisa that she's not hungry and if she doesn't mind she's going to rest because it was a very long day and that tomorrow is the last day and she wants to take the opportunity to organize the rest of her things and relax. Lisa says she doesn't mind at all, that she also feels the same and is going to rest, specially because the next day she has a last minute meeting.

Y/n tried to make Lisa not notice it but she's not stupid. As she drove past Y/n's old building she saw the silhouettes that bothered her so much and all she had to do was put two and two together upon seeing her reaction. The only thing she wanted was to park and give Sewoon a good slap and tell her everything she had been holding back so far.  

After getting home both went to their rooms. Y/n couldn’t get any sleep. She tossed and turned but sleep was far away.  Y/n looked at her phone and still no text or call from Jungkook. Why was she stupid and sent him a text? Clearly he wasn't worried at all, not even an "ok" he had responded. Suddenly she felt her eyes blurry and that was when she realized the tears rolling down her cheeks. She thought she was worth more, even if it was just in terms of friendship. After some time lost in her own thoughts, she decided to put on her headphones and try to get some sleep and managed to do so after a few hours. 

The next day, when she woke up it felt like she had been hit by a bus. Lisa had also gone out to deal with some matters at work, at least she remembered mentioning something about it. Once alone, Y/n had decided to stay in bed. Honestly she wasn't in the mood to do anything else and wanted to take to relax since she was going back to work the next day. Willingness? none. It was going to be hard but the way things were going neither Jungkook nor Sewoon were going to show up there or so she thought.

The next day her alarm went off and Y/n got ready for the day. She was going to do a double shift today since Sana was off, so she was on her own. For some reason she was nervous, it seemed like it was her first day again so her anxiety was on the roof. 

As incredible as it may seem, as soon as she arrived she saw her regular customers greeting her and telling her how much they missed her (most of them elderly people who used to frequent the shop even before she worked there and who had loved her since her first day) relaxed her immediately. Everything went very well. During her break Lisa went to see her and they chatted and drank coffee before going back to do the other part of the shift. Until then, everything was going perfectly. No sign of people she didn't want to see, she hadn't had any rude customers and her boss was in a very good mood. It was all too good to be true since luck is not something that goes on her side. 

Y/n was getting ready to close the shop and at that point she was usually alone. She was putting the chairs on the table when she heard the entrance bell signal that someone else was there with her. When she turned to inform the customer that they were closed, she came across someone she didn't want or even expeected to see.

In front of her was Jungkook with wet hair and helmet in hand. He seemed agitated, confused and angry. Very angry. Y/n couldn't help but notice the dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. She stopped on the spot, what would she say or do? They hadn't seen or spoken to each other for almost a week and the atmosphere was tense and she just wanted to disappear. 

He looked at her with such an intense gaze that she had to turn away while saying "we are closed" and pretended to keep doing what she was doing. 

"Really? After days of complete silence while i was worried sick about you. After leaving without any kind of warning? After that stupid fight on the club and sudden departure with someone that neither Sewoon nor I knew, that's all you have to tell me? we are closed? Are you for real?” 

Y/n stopped doing what she was doing but kept her back to him. It’s a good thing he couldn't see her because her hands were like jelly, shaking so much that she thought she was going to faint right there, however continued to act tough and ignored him, took a deep breath and started walking to the counter until she felt a hand grab her arm.  

“Y/n please stop shitting me. I’ve been going crazy these last few days because of you and you act like you don't care. I don't know what's worse, your attitude or the fact that I don't recognize you at all" and with these words Y/n turned around and looked at him with tears threatening to fall. She released herself from Jungkook's hand and turned completely towards him. She was on the verge of bursting. 

“You. Out of all people YOU are the only one who can't say that. I did everything for you Jungkook. I was always there for you when you needed me, remember? I knew when you were good, when you were sad, when it wasn't the best time to talk and when you wanted to say something but didn't know how. You needed me and I was there but when it was the other way around, were you there for me? Did you care at all?” she sighed “All this because I didn't answer to some calls and texts from you? You were so worried about me that you were always tied to Sewoon, don't tell me you were also worried about me when you were inside her. Be honest Jungkook, you only remembered me when it suited you. Admit it, when it comes to me you don't think twice." 

Jungkook didn't say anything, he looked at her as if she had just stuck a knife into him. He expected everything but this version of Y/n. He had noticed for some time she was different but he never asked her because he didn't want to bring up the subject that was bothering her hoping she’d be the one to open up to him yet it seems like it was a bad decision to wait. Maybe he should have talked to her when he noticed it, he knows he was stupid but he wasn't going to give in now. He was about to speak again when Y/n continued her speech.

“Things weren't supposed to be like this but everything is already ruined so what I'm about to say won't make a difference and honestly I'm tired of staying silent so as not to hurt other people and try to please them. That's why I'm in this shit right now, so here it goes.” Y/n looks him straight in the eyes and more tears run down her face, it's now or never. 

“I’m in love with you Jungkook”

As soon as the words left her mouth, a sob came out as well. This is where it ends and she knows it. His expression changed from angry to pure shock. She knew him very well, but at this moment she couldn't read his thoughts, everything was so confusing, he seemed so confused and she didn't understand why. She was breaking and to avoid even more suffering said

“Please let's not talk about this anymore. Things are pretty obvious and we don't need to drag this out any further. I need to close this Jungkook, I'm tired and I need--" 

“How long Y/n? How long have you felt this way?” Jungkook's look was anything but disappointed. It was a look she couldn't decipher and she also didn't know if she wanted to. Y/n looked down and replied 

“ A few months after we met and started hanging out more” Jungkook turned around and placed his elbows on the counter and his hands resting on his head.  

“And you never thought to tell me? Don't you think that would be a good thing to do?” he sounded so mad. “All this time you had feelings for me and you never said anything, never showed any signs and now I'm the bad guy for moving on with my life? And why you’re talking about Sewoon? We broke things off a long time ago and you know it. You were there!” 

“Ohh please Jungkook, anything but that. I'm not blaming you for anything, in fact, I even supported you, remember ? it was ME who introduced you to Sewoon  because YOU wanted me to! Even if I told you earlier what would change? Every time you came to me it was either because you just had a dinner date or someone had asked for your number. You love to say I'm always on your mind, I guess that I wasn’t on it those nights. I'm just the girl you would share things with and ask for advice, you don't have to be very smart to see that.” 

“Is that why you left without saying anything?” Y/n looked at him and when he saw that he wasn't getting a response, he went to her and got so close that she could see all the moles on his face, some that she hadn't even realized he had.  

“Y/n answer me. It's the least I deserve.” Even though there was some distance between them, Y/n felt trapped so she decided to move away a little, hitting her back on the counter. 

“Yes. After our conversation at the club and the way I saw you look at Sewoon I realized that there was no chance for me, not that I didn't already know, but I got the confirmation that day and the way you were more interested in going to her than hearing me confirmed my guesses once again, yet it was when you went to her and you kissed in the middle of all those people that my heart was left in pieces. I looked at you and instead of being happy that my best friend was back with the girl he's in love with, I just wished it was me in her place. I had to get out of there before everyone saw me break." Y/n cleaned some tears that were running down

"In Sewoon's eyes I'm already pathetic, but in yours? I preferred to die than to know you had that image of me. I went to the bathroom and that's when I met a friend from school, we ended up talking and exchanging contacts. She asked me if I wanted a ride and I took the opportunity to leave, that's when you found me. That night I spent at her house and she made me an offer and invited me to go traveling with her. For my mental health I accepted and only God knows what it cost me not to have said anything to you and I'm really sorry for that, I know it wasn't the right thing to do, but Jungkook you didn't care either because when I texted you back you never answered me. You can't judge my actions after having done the same thing.”

“You could never be pathetic y/n. I've always said how much I admire the way you are and I keep praising that, I would never get that impression of you. I know you went on a trip with Lisa and two other boys, Sewoon had shown me pictures of you, that's why I don't understand Y/n, none of this adds up. And I never received any text from you because unlike you, every day I checked if you had come to work, if you sent anything or if Sewoon knew anything about you. That's the reason I was with Sewoon a lot more these last few days. It's sad that I only found out that you were back because I saw your friend here yesterday, I recognized her from those photos, so I went to her and asked her about you. She told me you were coming back to work today and to show up around this time because you'd be alone. I was crazy looking for you, wondering if you were in a dead end, that's when Sewoon called me saying you were okay, hanging with some guys you probably met there. She also sent me the pictures, that's when I calmed down.”

Y/n didn't know which part made her more shocked, if the fact that Lisa spoke to Jungkook or knowing Sewoon sent the photos to him and omitted the fact that they both know the boy in question.

"Oh my god. After all this time Sewoon is still keeping you in the dark. Well just so you know the guy who posted the pictures is Sewoons ex-boyfriend, the one she left you for. Remember when she broke up with you? Yeah it was because of him. There are definitely things you should clarify with her, as she changes everything that corresponds to reality. Things that don't concern me at all and to be honest I'm tired of this conversation, it doesn't matter anymore. Things happened and it's ove, so if you don't mind it was a complicated day --” She didn't expect Jungkook to get so close to her but the truth is that they were centimeters away from each other and that was making her even more nervous and uncomfortable. She tried to get around him but he put his arms on either side of Y/n's body, trapping her there.  

"Did it work? Did you forget about me there? Did any of those guys help you forget me?”  Y/n had no response, she was completely surrendered to looking between his eyes and lips. She wasn't brave enough to grab him and kiss him, specially since he was still fooling around with Sewoon or so she thought, even tho the denied it. Still she wouldn't feel good doing that even if Sewoon hadn't been the best friend, so she did what she does best, avoided the interaction.  

“"I had fun and regardless of things I don't owe you any kind of explanation. I finally learned my lesson and you're not the exception, Jungkook. You're the rule and I don't give second chances to get me hurt, not even to you. I don't want to continue in this agony every time I see you and ask myself why others and not me? It took me a long time to get there but I finally managed to understand that as long as I don't like and accept myself as I am, neither will others and for that reason I ask you not to come here again. This is a closed subject and one that I want to bury.”  

“We’re not done having this conversation Y/n, I have to tell you some-”  

“Yes we are Jungkook, don’t you get it? I just told you I’m in love with you. My best friend who’s in love with my other best friend, who's still into her ex boyfriend. Did you even hear what I said about Sewoon?"

" I don't care about Sewoon,Y/n. Don't you fucking get it? All this time the only person on my mind was you. I tried really hard not to call you because why would I need to know where you were or who you were with. In your eyes I dated your best friend but in my eyes the only thing that connected me to her was you."

"Lisa has been fixing something she didn’t break because of how weak I was to stand for myself. I’m tired of being this innocent and naive girl everyone can step on. I'm not blaming you Jungkook, you didn't know and things turned out this way and it's okay. It's over and I think it's the best for you and me. I’ll be here if you need something but right now I don’t want to be around you. I need to fix myself before being there for you or Sewoon again and if you really care about me you’ll respect that” 

“Y/n, you're not understanding I--"

“Please Jungkook, just go. Let me do this for me and maybe we can talk about this in the future and laugh about it.” He didn't say anything else, he swallowed hard, shook his head, picked up his helmet and left, slamming the door loudly and that's when y/n collapsed. 

"I love you Jungkook. I love you so much but I can't be your second option." Y/n said as she slid down the wall, succumbing to the pain of something she never had.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

tags: @esposadomd @joonlover1207 @eegyo @furrywonderlandwolf @minghaosimp @differentrunawayperson @nikkinikj @jksusawife @jk97bam @cryingoverpixelsetc @bhonbhon @lostinneocity @almostpurplelady @meowforluv @imagine-this-motherfucker @jk-190811 @cryingoverpixelsetc @11thenightwemet11 @rinkud @ayatie97 @jk-190811 @shaku1995

[smellslikechahnspirit]

heyyy chan’s spirit!! I love your writing so much and had a little fic idea I wanted to share! Could you write something where channie’s wife asks him to get intimate for the first time after they find out she’s pregnant? It doesn’t need to be explicit—just soft and emotional, focusing on their love and connection. Totally okay if it’s not your vibe, but I’d love to see your take on it!

Ofcourse! It's a bit short, but I hope you still like it :)

Absolutely

[Husband Channie and y/n being intimate after finding out their pregnant for the first time (not NSFW)]

BangChan x Reader

🤍 read guide lines in Masterlist!

THIS IS (OBVIOUSLY) ALL FICTION AND IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY! THIS IS MY PERCEPTION OF HOW I THINK SKZ WOULD BEHAVE IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS AKA, NOT REAL.

8:05 PM

You both were on the couch, watching Arcane. It was the weekend. Not any kind of weekend. This weekend was special. It officially has been 2 months since you two found out you were having a little baby. Both of you have wanted this for quite a while and were very excited to finally share the news with everyone. But it was Friday night. You wanted to announced it first thing tomorrow morning. Today was the last day it would just be between you two.

''I still can't believe it...'', you said out of the blue. ''Hm?'', Channie replied who was sleepily laying with his head on you lap. He looked up at your face which was shining bright. ''Our baby. I can't believe it's finally happening.'', you spoke swiftly.

He smiled at you, turning around a bit so his face faced your tummy. ''I know baby, me too. Can't wait to see the members faces tomorrow haha.'', he said. You laughed. ''They're gonna be great uncles.'' ''I'm sure they will honey.'', he replied. ''Kinda liked the little secret we had for a while tho.'' After you said that you pouted. ''Hm me too.'', he said as he kissed your stomach softly. ''Can't believe it's been 2 months already...'', Chan said right after. ''Yea, 7 more to go.''. As you said this you kinda looked..I don't know how to put it...off? You looked disappointed. Or rather annoyed.

''Something wrong baby? You feeling okay?''. ''Nah, I'm fine.'', you said as you pushed him off your lap soflty, so you could get up. Since you're pregnant, he kind of just let you. Normally he would've made you stay and talk it out right then and there, but he knew you were uncomfortable enough as it is.

''Sure?'', he asked you while watching you walk towards your shared bedroom. He only saw you nod and disappear behind the door.

He got concerned, more then confused.

He knew your emotions were all over the place, but seeing you raise a wall was never a good sign. After a good 5 minutes he decided to check up on you.

He walked into the bedroom. The door was still slightly opened. ''Knock knock...can I come in darling?''. ''Ofcourse.'', you said smiling soflty. He walked in slowly, holding a cup of your favoured tea. ''Got ya this.''. He put it down next to you. He kept looking at your face, trying to decipher what was the matter.

''Y/n, please tell me..what's going on. Are you feeling sick? Worried? Don't deal with this by yourself baby, please.'', he said as he rubbed your arm soflty. ''It's just...''. He looked you in the eyes, making you look back at him. ''It's what?'', he said very quiet. ''I guess I'm just a bit worried.'' ''Hmhm, worried bout what sweetie?''.

He now sat down next to you, giving you a small kiss. Patiently waiting for you to tell him what was bothering you. ''Do you still love me? Or just because I'm pregnant now, you feel like you have to?'' He was shook by your words. Completely unaware that you felt this way. ''Y/n? Are you...okay? How...what??? Why would you ask me that. I love you to death. Does it look like I don't love you anymore?''. He was really confused. ''No, I mean...I don't know...''. ''Baby...?'', he asked confused. ''Well...since you found out I was pregnant...we haven't...had sex. Like not even once. Are you not willing to have sex with me, for the next 7 months either?''.

He now understood your thought, but this was never his intention. ''Babe...first of all, why didn't you tell me this sooner? And second...it's not that I don't wanna have sex with you. I just didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable.''.

''Uncomfortable?'', you looked up with big eyes. ''Well, I don't know...since that day we found out...you kind of have been all about the safety of the baby, and health for your body and doing yoga and etc. Just everything. I felt like, me bothering you with my needs, was something that would stress you out. I just didn't want to put pressure on you, into thinking you had to, since your body is now a temple to keep safe.''.

''What does sex have to do with that?''. He also didn't think this through too much. These last 8 weeks have been stressful for the both of you. ''I don't know what else to say... I never meant for it to seem like I didn't want to, I wanted to...everyday actually.''.

Your eyes lit up. ''Really? You don't think it's weird now?'' ''Weird? No. Do I feel like we have to be carefull and mindfull about this? Yes. I don't wanna hurt you in any way baby.'', he said wisely.

Instead of worry, all you felt now was happiness, being in a position that a man like this was the man who you were having a baby with. ''You're actually amazing, you know that babe?''. He smiled, then giving you a deep kiss. And the kiss kept going. And going. When after a while he was laying on top of you.

''Let me take care of you tonight. I will be gentle in every way. You deserve a treat, after this long.''.

He knew how these 8 weeks have been on your body, let alone how difficult the other 7 months are gonna be on you.

''You sure you wanna do this?'', you asked. ''Absolutely.''.

...Masterlist...

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

© 2022-2025, smellslikechahnspirit • No posting on other sites or platforms, rewrites, or translations

[marzipanandminutiae]

the place I used to live, where the fire happened, sold for $1.2 million in October. I just found out online

they renovated it entirely- very stark, very white. very modern. I can't be mad about this; the fire made the interior completely unsalvageable, and anyway, it had burned ten years before this last time. so it was hardly All-Original when I lived there

they changed the layout. I can't place the location of my room, even though the windows are in the same spots. I can be mad about this, but I'm not. I am unaccountably sad

sometimes everything I've bought and made and been gifted and built since then, all the replacements, even through they're the work of my hands or the love of friends and family made real- feel fake. feel rushed and hastily cobbled together. I suppose it's because they're, at most, two years old in my life. in the old place, some things had been with me decades or more

where I live now is older, more ornate. beautiful. full of people who think well of me. it's a good place, it really is. I've rebuilt in so many ways

I wonder if the ghost of Me Before This keeps the millionaires up at night, walking through walls down a hallway that no longer exists. too much a creature of sea-green paint and rattling old doorknobs to fit in their ice-white luxury. I'm not sure she'll ever come back to me- acting out a normal evening return that never was, over and over again. finishing that day as I never got to

I hope they're nice. I hope they have better decorating taste than whoever staged those photos

grief, when it's deferred by the urgency of a survival checklist, bursts out at odd times and places

it was not home. not meant to be. I try to remind myself of that

I want to go home

[remma-demma]

I’m actually scared of alienating some of my followers and moots with all the trans discourse I’ve been steeping quietly in and contemplating, but… I’m trying to not let being scared shut me up about this. That, in and of itself, is erasure and silencing.

Fuck staying quiet. Trans men and mascs deserve a voice, and we, as a group, are not oppressing or invalidating anyone else by using that voice. (Obviously there are shithead exceptions!! Anyone can be an asshole.)

I really hope that if I ever speak about any of this in the future, that people recognize that it’s not ever, ever trans femininity as a concept I have an issue with. It’s people who

- try to divide the community

- are reinventing gender essentialism from the ground up but make it trans

-police other people’s identities and decide for them what oppression they must face because of a tiny set of superficial traits

- simply. Don’t understand what intersectionality means.

- disregard and invalidate anyone who doesn’t fit a very specific (binary, rich, white, abled, flawlessly passing) idea of what it means to be trans.

None of those things are specific or exclusive to one identity. There just happens to be a community of transfems who are currently espousing many of these ideas as gospel. They are understandably defensive because of real actual transmisogyny they face. But other trans people are not your enemy. Accusing anyone and everyone who tries to point these flaws out as radical transmisogynists is simply not true. Pointing out bigotry is not bigotry in itself.

I don’t want the trans community to constantly be at each other’s throats. We each have to sit down and think if we ever catch ourselves blaming an entire other marginalized group for our issues. That’s just fascism babes.

[arcane-ish]

Season 1 Vanco, Season 2 Vanco and why I love both

There are people who will insist that shipping season 1 Vanco and season 2 Vanco is almost two different things. I don’t fully agree.

I wrote my “why I’m drawn to them” post in season 1 and even back then, for me at least the allure with the idea of the “one big happy family”. Of it being so close you could taste it. Of it being the ultimate what if. Of all the things that could be fixed if Zaundads were just real (in season 1: mostly the conflict between Jinx and Vi).

So yes, season 2 came as a shock of just how aligned the writers ended up being with the way I saw the ship even in season 1. And even in some ways I wouldn’t have dared to hope.

Still, I do understand the point that s1 Zaundads is a subtly different ship almost as s2 Zaundads. I’m just lucky enough to like both.

Season 1 Zaundads…

Season 1 Zaundads was broody and mysterious. Full of violence, veiled references and open questions. “I’ve heard this kind of talk before”, “There are worse things than enforcers out there”, “you had my respect”, “brothers and sisters, back to back against whatever the world threw at us”.

But also of evocative parallels. If in my ways Vi is Vander’s and Jinx is Silco’s, if they are like their fathers and yearn to be together, is it that strange to imagine a this being mirrored by Vander and Silco when you try to imagine their relationship? When Silco as he tries to ward off Vi is the one who draws the comparison to him and Vander over and over again, while Jinx questions how honest he really is in this regard?

And then there’s Silco and the heartbreaking parallels. The show starts with Vander changing his life to pick up his future daughters. And it ends with Silco ending up in a very similar spot, willing to value Jinx over attaining Zaun and losing his life over it. What can I do but question whether this falling out between them was really necessary if in the end maybe they end up in such a similar situation, which Silco himself seems to realize when he seeks out Vander’s statue.

And ah, the poignancy, that he seeks out the Vander statue at all to talk to it when he is so close to his moment of triumph.

Season 2 Zaundads…

When Season 1 Zaundads drove us crazy with speculation what happened between them, what they were like in the before timed, what exactly happened to make Vander turn on Silco, sesaon 2 answers some of those questions. And yeah, some of those answers were underwhelming, not gonna lie.

But! To me there’s still beauty in season 2. Season 2 on a Zaundad front is so much about yearning. About Vander’s yearning especially. It’s there in his letter. It’s there in how Silco is still in Warwick’s mind as he scours the mines half crazed.

It’s there in the little love shack and the jackets. It’s there in Jinx, the person who probably knew Silco best in the recent years says the letter would have mattered, it would have changed so much. It’s there in Silco, a sweet, loving Silco memory being the first thing that shows up when Viktor manages to enter Vander’s soul.

And there are other things, worth loving, the way Silco looks even in Vander’s dark red visions of him, the way the tease in the flashback to their younger selves, the way Silco is scribbling away and then of course … the AU.

The AU that has the writers coming out firmly on the side of “a reunion would have been possible” but also “a reunion is close to the best thing that could have happened to the world”.

This element might not be necessary to make a good ship, and it sure isn’t what I expected to get when I shipped them in season 1. But I think a shipper group or two can confirm that it feels pretty damn awesome to look at your ship and think: “their love changed the world and it made it better” (and you know, not just just in the sense that they are the ones that made it worse in the first place :p)

A personal take

People talk a lot about how Silco and Vander could have made up and how they achieved the Zaun we see in season 2, episode 7. Did Silco come around to Vander’s side of seeing things, or the other way around. I don’t have a problem with either approach.

But my personal preference has always been towards balance, of both parts of a couple being developed and important and worth cheerleading.

So for my personal tastes, I like to think it needs both of them. They are better together than apart. Their approaches are flawed are incomplete without the other. Silco’s approach is shit highly questionable (as in: I question whether the society he would achieve would be a very appealing one and not full of its own problems) if it doesn’t have some of Vander’s conciliatory and communal elements and Vander’s approach is shit without Silco’s zeal and focus.

[shabbytigers]

literally not trying to fight here, to be clear.

i don’t use siri or alexa or voice controlled remotes either but that’s mostly because i intensely dislike doing anything via voice. i don’t listen to podcasts, avoid videos where a text alternative exists. idk about robovacuums, are those voice controlled too? but in any case i never really saw the point of those one way or another. i am however considering using claude (at some point when i get it together to formulate a question and figure out how prompts work); you can have conversations with claude via typing, and its sophistication is starting to be interesting to me in a way earlier robots like siri haven’t been. i don’t have some deep fundamental rage or fear about robots. idk.

the real-feeling-to-me fears around data are two things

1. classic identity theft, credit card spoofing or whatever. at this point that feels a lot like major weather events: basic weatherproofing makes sense but i’m not structuring my day to day life around precautions. worst case, there’s a situation and i deal with it. i’ve had two incidents in this last year plus, they didn’t actually get any of my money, there were some unpleasant nuisance phone calls etc but worse things happen in war.

i don’t think that google or facebook or apple or even x is running a literal identity theft mob at scale. so for me this doesn’t connect directly to the question of turning off the ai setting on the iphone photos app y/n. the issue is, will they have a data leak that allows a third party mob to do the thing. but at that point we’re back to ambient systemic risk: yeah, weather events are gonna happen, somewhere

2. hostile government surveillance, as @thatiswhy pointed out, is the other concern.

not sure how much to worry about this irl. if i were trans in texas or florida, lots. in new york or berlin … meh, but with one twitchy eye open? normal [sic] governments, not in the throes of full-blown theocratic fascism, have neither the inclination nor the capacity for this shit. given the state of the u.s. it may become a federal level risk imminently, but granular surveillance at scale in a country of 330 million people is a lot and state capacity has been, is, and will continue to be in the toilet. overcoming the sludge in the way of getting anything done isn’t just a question of tech. it will require extraordinarily motivated, focused, willful villainy and a paucity or dereliction of opposition.

once more, however, i have a lot of just very fundamental difficulty causally connecting the toggle on my photos app to the state coming after me to deliberately and malevolently fuck me up. are there plausible scenarios where the state would actually do that? unfortunately yes. will my photo app toggle make any difference? they don’t need my data in particular, they need tons and tons of aggregate data. clearly they’re going to get tons and tons of aggregate data. furthermore, they’re going to get my data. because there are obviously uncountable other things on a well functioning current-day smartphone and in any ordinary human being’s digital life just generally that can be mined in this manner.

again, we’re now talking about something highly pervasive, systematic and infrastructural. the risk is baked into the system. like, i am not going to kill my online presence everywhere, go full black bloc, take myself right tf off the digital grid, due to this vast nebulous inchoate concern. that would be like spending every hour of every day weatherproofing, never going outside, etc, etc. i’m sure it’s worth it to a person with a highly specific and confirmed reason to worry. i do not think it makes sense for everyone or should be recommended on general principles.

also … see, i actually really like the internet? i don’t think phones or social media are a society-destroying plague? i don’t think it’s terrible or unhealthy or whatever to spend a lot of time on the phone, assuming you do also have other shit going on, etc? i feel like there are pervasive and rising anti-phone attitudes that foster a preexisting inclination to point to the phone as the fons et origo of all evil futures, and it’s maybe coloring risk assessment around this. it’s got that dubious-public-health virtue-and-moral panic feel

also also, it’s all a bit beyond my pay grade, but if you’re looking for something to worry about wrt AI, i gather there’s more interesting/concerning issues available than the question of immediate-term data mining inputs and use cases. vaguely offensive, nuisancey shit like this is just the scurf of capitalism, don’t let it get you down, save some reserves for like real problems imho

Oh _lovely_. Everyone go turn this off:

Enhanced Visual Search in Photos allows you to search for photos using landmarks or points of interest. Your device privately matches places in your photos to a global index Apple maintains on our servers. We apply homomorphic encryption and differential privacy, and use an OHTTP relay that hides [your] IP address. This prevents Apple from learning about the information in your photos. You can turn off Enhanced Visual Search at any time on your iOS or iPadOS device by going to Settings > Apps > Photos. On Mac, open Photos and go to Settings > General.

[inthefoxholes]

veilguard, i hated it.

So i finally finished veilguard, and guys, what. a. shitshow.

So apart from the fact that it feels like a half-finished game (which it probably is), I mostly hated it on two accounts: 1) the overall lore implications (we knew this from this reddit q&a, but I'm still angry, and I won't stop talking about it) BOTH in regards to previous games and this one and 2) how this was not at all a roleplaying game. (sorry, english is not my first language and I'm tired and enraged)

Let's look a little closer, shall we.

One: The Lore Implications. This pisses me off in two ways:

First, the amateurish attempt at a "clean slate". This is just so insulting. If they wanted to make a game without any of that icky baggage, then the should have chosen a new ip for this. I get that it's complicated after three games with a lot of moving parts, I get that the decision to move away from southern thedas was an attempt to curtail a lot of this, but COME ON. Walls of nonsensical (seriously, they read ai created) text from the inquisitor, that mainly tell you that everything you fought for, all the people, all the places, is gone? And not for effect, not for the story, entirely offscreen and nonsensical, just so the writers don't have to care for this anymore? This does NOT get me invested into the story. No mention of who your Divine is; no mention of who sits on the orleasian throne - and it should matter, shouldn't it, whether or not your EXILED the grey wardens, whether or not you have an elf with a SPY NETWORK close to the orleasian throne, whether or not you DISBANDED the inquisition. All of that does influence what happens on the world state, or at least it should. (And if you want to ignore it, why not do in a way that's less obvious, less bad, why not have your protagonist be someone with no ties to the inquisition, who genuinely does not know whats going on in the south? Why have a world state when you don't want anything to do with it?)

Second, and that's even worse: you cannot take a fully established world, and then alter it to your weird specifications. THE FUCK you mean, there are no slaves in Minrathous, the goddamn slave capital of the world?? Why THE HELL is there a whole questline where we try to find disappeared people, snatched from the street for the ritual, when it should be perfectly possible to buy a few batches of slaves and have them express delivered to your ritual site. (So we can show up and fuck up your slave operation.) But no - I get shamed when I don't save Minrathous?? Well, fuck you, Fenris sends his regards, I hope you all burn.

To this ties the overall simplificaton of the world: Nobody is really bad, just the few super bad guys, but they are so evil as to have no real motiviation, they are basically Thanos or otherwise racist cartoons (totally believable that the Qunari, or a sect thereof, would be on board with mad sorcery). They rest, they are good guys! The pirates are very mindful of cultural heriatages! The crows are just your friendly neighborhood assassins (I remember the stories Zevran told slightly differently), and, as assassins, they naturally wear uniforms, so you see them coming (as do the "secret" "underground" "rebels" from Tevinter). I'm not saying that everyone should be evil, but the fact that whole organisations are presented to us as benefical is so insulting, ESPECIALLY when it was always a point of pride for the Dragon Age franchise that it was morally complicated. There is slavery and poverty and darkspawn. NOPE, you can stand knee deep in blight, not a problem anymore. (if only Carver had known) There is racism against elfs. (well, as the elfs seem to be respnsible for EVERY problem thedas faces, from the veil to the darkspawn, maybe that was precient? - also, always nice to have everything tied in such a neat bow, everything tied to one ONE causality, that makes things really believable and realistic) The Templars are fascists, sure, but abominations are a problem that does not get solved easily. NOPE, not anymore! When before, even a spirit of JUSTICE got corrupted in this world (therby making the valiant and sublte point that abstract concepts rarely hold up well when coming in contact with messy reality), now you can be possessed by a demon of SPITE and HE DOES NOT DO ONE SPITEFUL THING AT ALL. Nice, if only the mages knew that, you just have to accecpt feelings or whatever and then everything's well. SO NEAT!

This brings me to point number two: Why do we play this game? The complex and previously established word is gone; what's left are cartoons thereof. And then, there's not even a hint of role-playing left. Why can't I be mean to Harding?? I loved her in Inquisition, now her overly-girly manner grates on my nerves and I want to be mean to her. I can't, i have to be everyone's friend. In the end, I cannot decide anything, except the slight configuration of the final companion armour (why would I care, I don't know these people, I could not ask them a single question), and some slight cosmetic change regarding Solas - there is not even talk about tearing down the Veil. We've come full circle back to Mass Effect 3 and the groundbreaking decision we get to make is what colour the magic space beam is gonna have. Except, Mass Effect 3 was still a much better game, because you knew your crew - in this game, I have acutally no idea why Rook should lead anybody, why anybody would follow them, and why the literal fate of the world should be in the hands of this bunch of (after 100 hours of gameplay) near strangers. There ARE narrative work-arounds for this kind of shit; the writers just didn't care enough.

There are a hundred more small things I could say about this, about the story (Solas' prison was made of regret and he wanted to put Elgarnan there?? Who feels very good about everything he does?? Is he stupid? And then everyone is so impressed about Rook getting out to quickly, but seriously, what the fuck did Rook have to feel regretful about? They did not get to make a single decision. They did not order anyone to sacrifice themselves; they did not use people, or cities, as pawns in a war or whatever, BECAUSE THIS GAME HAS THE EMOTIONAL DEPTH OF A SMALLISH PUDDLE) and the in-game approach to the player (how often do i have to be told that i need to take care of my companions business?? This got so repetitive and made them seem like imcompetent children. Why wasn't there a better way to make me care, or better yet, trust the player to want to play this game), but I stop now. Fuck Bioware and EA.

[miwiheroes]

Dropping Byler Evidence Every Day Until Season 5

Day 3 - Mike's incriminating dilemma

I think one of the most obvious byler proofs to me that barely gets any notice or recognition that it is very convincing, is the fact that Mike seems totally unwilling to talk to Will about his problems with El. Whenever Will is spoken to about the issues they have, it's very noticeable to the audience that Mike talks about it in very general terms, making sure he doesn't end up spilling what they spoke about.

This is simply because it is incriminating.

It's also the reason why he doesn't tell Will he called him multiple times even though he easily could! It would solve a lot between the two of them if he had admitted he called him (which we got confirmation about from Dustin). However, he would rather not, and would rather sacrifice himself in a sense than have Will know how much he called, turning the focus away from himself.

So again, why wouldn't Mike just tell Will about what happened? He knows that it might help him, since he's definitely told a friend about his relationship problems before (Lucas). However, this time he's hiding something bigger -- he does not love El. He would much rather have Will stay in the dark about what he really 'needs to say' than have Will ask him more questions. He's worried that if he gives too much detail, he'll be outed as a liar, he'll be figured out by Will. There is no other reason for hiding what El wants him to say. He could tell Will, but he's simply worried about the questioning this would earn.

The fact that he's lying is one of the reasons he makes this face here:

This is when Will says 'Whatever you didn't say, you can say it to her then', referring to when Mike sees her again. He believes he's comforting Mike that she's safe and he will see her again.

At first, Mike grins at Will, simple because... he's happy that Will's comforting him. But then he starts to dig deeper into what he's just heard and what it then means. That's when he almost startles, blinks rapidly and looks nervous. The internal conflict is clear on his face, and the directors want you to take notice of it.

It's almost like he's disliking the fact he has to lie to Will here. He doesn't like that Will has no idea how deep this thing actually goes, and it's really not as simple as saying I love you when he sees El again.

All in all:

Will has no idea that he's encouraging Mike to say I love you to El.

He believes he's comforting Mike on the fact that El is safe and that Mike will see her again.

But Mike's worried about saying I love you. Meaning he's worried about seeing her again.

He does not want to say I love you.

Okay.... so this means that he does not want to say I love you. Even if it means that he can see El safe again. But this can be for many different reasons. Maybe he's not ready to make the commitment or something. But the next scene on the car is when Mike shows the real reason why he doesn't want to say it.

The next time Mike and Will talk about this, the thing that he has to say to her has been reframed to being 'The Truth.' He's realised, between the previous scene and the car scene, that he will eventually have to explain himself to El because he'll likely see her again. He thinks that if he had explained himself, maybe he would have taken him with her.

Now, 'explaining yourself' does not at all sound like a confession of love. It almost sounds like Mike trying to justify to El why he doesn't say it. AND:

He tells Will in this scene that he 'didn't know what to say' despite El spelling it out for him very clearly. This shows he knows that he can't say what she wants him to say, and he has no idea how to explain why he can't say it in a way that isn't incriminating. Again, he can't tell Will the thing he has to explain away, because it would raise too many questions.

Will says 'to say how you really feel', suggesting that Mike feels the opposite of what El wants. And the fact that Mike nods. He NODS when Will says 'what if they don't like the truth?' is just so clear to me. It AGAIN solidifies that Mike is nervous because he really doesn't want to tell El the truth. He has no idea what to say to make it better without lying.

TLDR; Mike does not want to say I love you to El. The reason? He doesn't love her.

[lvrboy-inc]

“One Of The Boys” - The Weeknd

꒰: Précis | College life isn’t easy. So what happens when one run-in at a party introduces you to someone who changes your life..forever?

꒰: Disclaimer(s) | Money Laundering Incubus!Suguru x Virgin Stripper m!reader, degradation, coercion, manipulation, [ CW : mentions of hard substances, mentions of prostitution ] exhibitionism, hold the m0an, biting, dirty talk, hair pulling, mild bondage, degradation. Tread very carefully~!!

꒰: Word Count ; 13.6k

Sweetest Sin Masterlist

“It’s fucking illegal. As hell.”

————

Wasted potential.

No one likes it.

So what exactly is one to do when they are a walking definition of such?

Well..it all started back in college.

Already struggling with keeping your education afloat–and not to even get into the aspects of relationships–you were in a muck. A really bad one. Some may have called it, ‘Sophmore Slump’. But it would’ve been so much better if you could’ve kept the term as something you knew of and not all about. 

Money was tight, the people were wildly unreliable and overall, your life was looking greyscale. 

That’s how it was, anyway.

Being scouted by one of the more wealthy upperclassmen you knew at a party you were originally planning on blacking out at might’ve been one of the best things to happen to you..and consequently the worst.

“Y’know, if your financial situation is as shitty as you claim, I’ve got a friend who could offer a bit more..stability,” You’d recalled the white-haired scamp uttering as you both babysat drinks that neither of you were truly enjoying. His eyes were scanning all over the party whilst yours were watching the ripples that your red Solo created due to the proximity of the loudspeaker. “His business is kinda small now but I promise he’s goin’ places with it. Stick beside him, get to know him, become indispensable and I swear, you’ll never eat out of another ramen cup again.”

It was a spotless business pitch if you’d ever heard one. So of course, you found yourself sitting across from the stranger’s so-called ‘friend’ at a café that was far too open for the subject he’d brought up.

He was probably the same height as the man who’d approached you at the party in the first place, except his build was a bit more cut and burly. 

You awkwardly drummed your fingers against the sides of the coffee cup he’d offered to pay for—and to which you only agreed after heavy persuasion and a, ‘No, me’ back and forth—glancing around the scene. It wasn’t any question that he was here to talk business with you. I mean, such a professional setting and the way he looked?

Straight, jet-black hair that you saw running just below his shoulder blades with just a hint of crimping at the ends–all so neatly tied together in a half-up, half-down bun. For the casual setting, he’d worn a high black turtleneck and beige, loose-fitting, ironed pants. The accessories he adorned just screamed upper echelon but what topped it all off were those thinly framed glasses that sat so prettily on his narrow nose bridge.

To be so frank, he didn’t even look real. More like someone you’d see on a Pinterest board for visions or something with a more..suggestive connotation. Though, snapping you out of your mild daydreaming, you heard him clear his throat justly. In your own absentmindedness, you failed to realize that his eyes had barely fell on you either. Not really nervousness but..some straying variation of it. Maybe..hesitance?

“So,” he’d begun, finally turning to meet your gaze with those deep violets. “I’m sure Satoru filled you in, yes? On the..outlines of the job?” 

Outlines? Were you supposed to have been informed of such? “Ah..n-no, I don’t believe so..? He just said you’d had a business that’s drumming up and that I should become something like an..early investor? I don’t know, something along those lines.”

“Wait—you don’t even know what the job is?” 

You bit your lip in response, guiding your eyes back to the cup in your hand before shaking your head. A low, throaty groan was heard from across the table as he pushed his index and thumb under the frame of his glasses, pinching the taut skin between his eyes. “Right. And you agreed to show up without any further information? What if I’d been asking you to be like..some sort of hitman or something?”

“Well..are you?” A scoff and he readjusted, leaning back in his chair with a look that was all-too fed up.

Eyes now boring into yours, he rolled his tongue along the bottom set of his teeth before speaking—probably an effort to try not and hurt your feelings with his next words—leaning forward on his elbows. “No. If I wanted someone dead, I’d do it myself. I certainly wouldn’t ask a complete and utter stranger to do such a thing on our first  meeting, either.”

Shrugging your shoulders, you took a long sip of your drink, readily squaring your posture. “Given the fact that I don’t even know your name, I’d say that I’m down for just about anything.”

“Geto. Suguru Geto. But please, call me Geto until we’ve gone past our formalities,” Reaching down beside him, he had unlatched the straps binding his satchel closed, slowly rummaging through the leather and then pulling out a small folder. It was laminated at the front and along with it, he brought out a pen. “Here, it’s a contract. Read through that and I’ll explain everything else that isn’t stated or that you have trouble..comprehending to the fullest extent.”

He spoke so properly that it felt a bit unnerving. Either way, he slid it across the table and at the very front, in bold lettering were the words, “Purple Haze: Beginnings”. You opened up the first page and were hit with a load of numbers and statistics muddled throughout the large sum of words, paragraphs..essay’s worth of other writing. To say that you bit back a groan would be an understatement.

But, as your eyes scanned over the lengthy pages, he began to speak. “You see..I’m already a part of an organization. A much larger one that I’m trying to branch off onto my own. Think of it as..expansion,” his expression was becoming more laid back as he went on—you could just tell he knew what he was talking about. As if he knew he would already be the best. “It’s going to be anything but fruitless. Sure, the startup is going to be slow, but it’ll all be worth it. My job is going to be hiring more..‘recruits’. You know, sweet talking them down, promising the world—typical business pitches. In turn, they will provide cover for what’s going on behind the scenes.”

“From what I’m reading here it looks like you’re just trying to start a..strip club? I’m sorry but–”

“Don’t interrupt me,” Spoken sharply and with the slightest hint of agitation, he sighed heavily and ran a hand through the bit of hair that was left to frame his face. “As I was saying—that’s where you come in.”

“You want me to become a stripper? For you?”

Tilting his head from side to side a bit, he came back to a level. “In the most simple of terms…yes. But, unlike the rest that I’ll be hiring, you’ll be given an inside look into what exactly the..‘bigger picture’ is.”

“And that is?”

“Money.” A small smile spread across his face as he brought his hands to fold in front of him, propping his jaw up on the backs of them. “Trust me. I know this is all a lot to take in, but I’m offering you a chance to be bigger. To be better than the average, mundane life of walking among the lower class, of having to go to classes every single day just to learn things I’m positive you already know. Not to sound cliché, but you’re different. I’ve done my research.”

The way his grin wasn’t faltering was already putting you off, especially as you’d gotten to the section that he then explained would be cut out for the rest. “Right there. Notice the jump? These are simply predictions for what we’ll bring in—not an exact estimate. The true sums are bound to be much more than your college-attending brain could ever dream of.”

“Hey,” You’d slightly chastise, giving your brows just an inch of a furrow before returning your focus. “Where..where would all the extra cash even come from, though? I mean…it can’t just be solely from what we’ll be doing.”

A low rumbling in his chest, resembling that of a laugh but ultimately dying out as a wry breath had followed behind your question. “There, that right there is the real kicker. Tell me, have you ever heard of..money laundering?” Your body went a bit rigid at the inquiry and your fingers stilled their idle tracing as you read along. “You’re a business major—of course you have. But, you’ve only heard of where it fails. Where the police get involved, where everything unravels at the seams and great empires tumble and fall to their knees once they get wayyy too in over their heads.”

“Well, duh! I mean, it’s–” You looked around, suddenly becoming acutely aware of your volume. Peering in closer, you hunched over the table a bit, continuing in a harsh whisper. “It’s fucking illegal. As hell. You’re telling me that you want me to not only strip, but be a cover and an accomplice for..for this? Fuck that. You’re out of your goddamn mind if you think..”

“Think what? Think about the budget you’re on? Think about the way you’ve been purposely slacking in your academics for the sake of lowering standards, of expectations that others hold for you because you can’t take the pressure of being the absolute fucking best in your field? Or perhaps how I know that you’re better than all of this shit,” The commonality and relatively airy tone he’d held before was almost gone now as he let himself fall forward to eye you down. It was like the atmosphere was a living thing, sparking and sending the embers out into every breath you took. “Dumbing yourself down for people who are intimidated by the sheer potential you have, that which has been built upon all of your past accomplishments, the future you can have if you just grow a pair and stop caring so damn much about who you leave in the dark as you shine.”

By this point, you’d pulled back, sitting down in your seat and taking a longgg sip that was all-too loud and obnoxious to not be passive aggressive. “You have the knowledge, you have the management skills, you have the body—so what’s really stopping you from capitalizing on all of that?”

Silence.

“Right. You are the only thing holding yourself back. That, or, to put it crassly—you’re just too much of a pussy.” A sharp glare, almost like a dagger thrown, was shot his way and he gave a light snort. It was too easy to get under your skin, especially like this. “Look. All I’m saying is..you’re on the edge of something great. Something revolutionary. Sure, it’s not as..conventional, as you thought your ‘big break’ would be but…when one door closes, a sunroof opens. Reach for those stars, let me help you touch those stars. And all I’m asking in return is for you to…show a bit of skin, dirty up a few numbers, smile through it all. Nothing you haven’t done before, I’m sure.”

Your leg had started bouncing under the table as you now stared at the empty signature line. His had already been written in that pretty cursive scrawl, topped off with an extra loop as to where the last ‘O’ of his name was. It was like both the man in front of you now, as well as just the mere sight of his name was enough for you to pick up the pen. Clicking the tip out of place, your hand stopped just before the paper.

“And..you’re positive the police won’t find out? I-I mean..it’s just so..chance. More risk than reward.” an uncertain concern that left your mouth as you slowly lifted your head.

“For someone who’s so good with math, your ratios seem pretty..off,” That laidback tone had returned once more and this time, it was accompanied by his hand coming over yours, laying your shaking down against the table. A gesture that would be more comforting if it hadn’t come from who it did. “By all means, don’t sign it. Throw this away, walk away from this conversation, this table—forget you ever met me. But I know one thing without a shadow of a doubt; You’ll regret it.”

Swallowing dryly, you could feel the weight of his words as if they were some physical force—not to be reckoned with. And so, that’s how you wound up scratching your signature into the paper, right next to his. You felt an odd..surge as the pen lifted off, like you’d somehow..sealed your fate. 

Suguru looked at you with a smile that was nearly devilish in its satisfaction, calmly pulling the packet closed and stuffing it back in his bag as he shut it back up with the rhythmic latching of the straps once again. He’d stood up, slinging his satchel over his satchel and dipping his hands into his pockets, not without pushing his glasses further onto his face. 

“So..that’s it? We’re done here..?” You’d asked, grabbing your drink and going along as you pushed your chair in. Reaching for your wallet, Suguru was two steps ahead—placing a hefty tip for your waitress on the table.

After you’d rolled your eyes at the gesture, he took the lead in the path to the door. “For now, yes. I’ll keep in contact with you, along the lines of details, times, meetings and any other updates regarding progress,” Pushing open the glass with a small chime of the bell overhead, he held it open and let you walk through. Once situated outside, he outstretched his hand toward you. “Welcome on board. I have a feeling this is the beginning of a..lasting partnership.” 

The word he’d emphasized made it all the more apparent that you’d very well just signed your..well, almost everything over to this man in the span of an hour, two tops. But even so, among all of the anxiety, among all of the nerves and just fear of what was to come, you willed yourself to shake his hand firmly and nod your head long. “Here’s to new beginnings.”

“To us.” he’d reiterated, slipping his hand away and turning around to walk off in the opposite direction of you.

That day..it marked the most significant choice of your life. It changed..everything.

        ⋆⁺₊⋆ —————⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰————— ⋆⁺₊⋆

A whistle from across the room and you knew you were being called over. 

Throbbing strobe lights overhead, a classic RnB playing over blaring stereos overhead and the scene was absolutely electrifying. The smell of flowing drinks, the sounds of patrons hooping and hollering over the entertainment on stage—two of the stars of the night, since the posterboy (you) was on waiter duty—lines of white spread across tables and a dancefloor that was too crowded to even look past two feet in front of you. It was a jungle.

But for the past—wow, had it already been 4 years? Nevertheless, it was your jungle. Your domain, if you will. 

It was hard to imagine sometimes that all of this, the walls that stretched up past high heavens even to a second floor that was located above, with a perfect view of all the debauchery below and reserved for the more..exclusive members of the establishment. In reality—it was where business happened. Whether that be gambling among the pool tables, roulette tables, or even in the back where most of the real lounging and discussions took place with the fat and happy scumbags—it was strictly for business. 

Well..that and private shows. 

And with that particular call, you knew that you were being called for just that. By who? Oh, none other than the mastermind who’d made all of this possible in the first place. 

On your way up the lavish steps, you passed by the bar where Satoru had been cleaning off glasses. He wound up finding some way into the fray much later. After getting fired from his previous bartending job that ended under very..sudden circumstances. Regardless, he was still a thorn in your side, especially when you got chewed out by the ‘big man upstairs’. Leaning up against the bar, propped on your elbows, Satoru slid you two..‘specialty’ drinks that were usually a sign of a difficult deal. “Careful, I think Suguru might be using you as a bit of..collateral this time around.”

“Please, when is he not?” You’d mused.

He shrugged, putting the glasses on top of a mini tray. “Heard the guy he’s trying to slip into the lineup is a tough one to crack. It would be great for write-offs since it’s more of a..charity sort of thing. To put it safely.”

“Ah..guess I’ve got to show off a bit, huh?” Turning to face him, you blew a small kiss and he waved his hand, going back to the other people littered across the counter. You took that as your cue to drag the tray off the surface and up into your hands.

Of course, representation was everything. Every ounce of you had been perfectly molded and shaped by Suguru to be just what deserved the title of ‘posterboy’. So, even as you walked—all dolled up, head to toe in something that was, granted, much less showy than your performance attire, but still leaving just a bit to the imagination—you got stares, turning heads and waving to regulars that gave whistles of their own. You just had that effect.

With your 4-inch heels, beautifully decorated and wrapping halfway up your ankle, you ascended the steps with each graceful click of them. Soon, you reached the second floor and got a full view of the other high-end patrons that were indulging in the niceties. Slipping past them and maneuvering your way through the rowdy, drunk and high, you soon made it to the back room, concealed by a veil of velvet curtains and two security guards that immediately nodded toward you and pulled them back. There, you were met with a scene that..was unfortunately more common than anything.

Suguru, in all his glory—far more grown up now than when you’d met him in his early 20s—long, flowing, midnight-black locks that had long since reached past the middle of his back, adorned in the crispest attire that still just dripped with privilege and upper-class. Those glasses that have stood the test of time, now encrusted with finite diamonds at the hinges. Hair allowed to flow freely as he took a long drag from a cigarette that undoubtedly came from the open box laid out on the table, covered head to toe in full black—a button-down, tucked into the waistband that was sealed at the buckle by a Prada belt, loose St. Laurent pants, and a pair of Louis Vuitton combat boots to top it all off. To put it so shortly—he had grown into just a bit more of a show-off since your first meeting.

Though, no matter how gorgeous and well, damn near godsent he looked, there was no question that he was pissed.

It might’ve not been seen by the man across from him who wore a lazy expression, red-eyed and probably spewing out nonsense, but you’d grown to just know how to tell when Suguru’s buttons were being pushed. So, being the voice of reason, you plastered on that same show-stopping smile and gave just the slightest tilts of your head. “You summoned me, Geto?”

Like a switch had been flipped, Suguru raised his face up and behind you saw the vein that was throbbing in his temple go down. “Ah, there he is. My partner in crime, if you will. Come, you’ve brought something for this..” For a second, it looked like he was going to call him sorely out of his name, but instead he went with, “Gentleman.”

You gave a slight nod, sauntering over and setting the tray down on the table in front of the man, bending at just an angle to where the high-waisted leather shorts you were sporting allowed for a ‘better view’ for Suguru’s guest. He usually called on you to… ‘distract’ the clients. Coax a bit more into them than they’d usually go for, make deals sound all the more sweeter..a little guilt tripping here and there—all the while Suguru made the numbers happen, you moved them into place.

Once they were sat down neatly on the Mahogany, Suguru crooked a subtle finger at you, to which you took small strides and lowered yourself by his side, letting your legs fall cross at the ankles over his lap. He shot you a look, to which you cocked an eyebrow that asked, ‘What?’.

“Your shoes.”

Glancing down, you pulled a confused expression that was all too attitudinal. “What about them, sir?”

“I know you weren’t raised to put shoes on the furniture. Off. Don’t embarrass me in front of our client.” He said, reaching down to undo the ties under your calves, leaving them loose enough for you to slide them off.

You quickly shot off an eyeroll, reaching down to push your Manolo Blahnik’s off and onto the floor neatly, giving a scoff under your breath. He always got like this when you were in front of people—correction—when you were in front of possible business affiliates. Suguru was particular about details he typically let slide when it was just your own establishment members. 

But especially when they were out-of-country investors. You think he’d let some bad manners ruin his potential financial endeavors? Please. 

“Priss.” You lightly bit, leaning back until you were able to rest your elbow on the arm of the couch. 

Paying that comment no mind, Surguru looked back at the man who had lit up a puffing, angry cigar. “Right, right, so—I know your expansion progress is goin’ well. You’re one of the most connected in this city—you grew up here. But among connections, the many that you do have, there’s also the matter of keepin’ track of everything. To be a name in a sea of..other ones ‘n zeroes and a bus load of other stats just sounds like I’m settin’ myself up for bankruptcy.” 

“Well, I take care of that,” Geto finished off for him, scarcely too fast to have not sounded like a cut-off. “More like, my friend here does. We don’t blow over any of our..associates. Your charity business, along with the amounts we’ve been bringing in will not only boost our image but you get funds on the side.” Leaning back a bit, he added in just a slight inaudible, “More time for you to feed your bullshit savior complex and let us benefit from it.” The back of your hand lightly tapped against his chest—a silent signal that his bitchiness was showing. That got a mumbled complaint that missed your ears. Probably for the best.

“He’s right,” you chimed in. “I’ve been in this gig for a while now—business and etcetera for even longer. Trust me when I say this pretty face isn’t just for show. The brain behind it is just as flawless. Investing into us, with enough time, effort, and coinciding cooperation,” a glare off to Suguru. “Then I’m much more than positive that you and your charity will be in the safest of hands.”

You could see the smile that spread across the man’s face upon hearing your coercion. Even so, he went on to say, “I don’t know..putting my money into such..dainty hands…I think a bit more..convincing is in order.”

Scrunching your face just a bit, you felt Suguru pinch the side of your thigh. It was often that your expressions spoke much louder than your mouth and he knew that just as well. He didn’t need a dirty look scaring off a potential customer—oh, no, no—it’d be your ass on the line if that were to happen. “And..what might be able to convince you…further, sir?” You’d forced out with that same posterboard smile.

“I think we both know. I mean..c’mon, sweetheart. You said you’ve been in this business a while..lookin’ like that? There’s no way you haven’t..” trailing off, he made a crude gesture with his hands. “How do you say..‘fucked your way to the top’. That is..if your boss here isn’t opposed.”

“I am.” Butting in almost instantly after he finished, Suguru brushed your legs off of his lap, standing up to his full, towering height. “And frankly, I don’t think I or my friend here take kindly to such—honestly, nauseating—proposals from people that we’re looking for in a professional sense. Your manners are fucking deplorable and the fact you came here, got high, started talking business, just to end up with trying to get your dick wet is..how do you say.. ‘Not a good look.’”

Heaving a sigh of relief, you situated yourself, bringing another, more genuine, small, smile to yourself in the wake of Suguru’s interjection. You had begun to slide your heels back on, taking your time to lace the strings back up your calf. The man had set down the cigar that had been stinking up the room, some of the ash falling off with a tap against the glass table. “That’s..prostitution, is it not, sir?” You’d piped up, leaning back and crossing your legs loosely as you tilted your head toward him. 

“Clever boy—that it is. And..how would a charity owner look in the news if..word got out that he was propositioning such a thing..? In a place, such as this?”

Kissing your teeth in a tutting fashion, you shook your head along. “Not good at all.” 

You both shared a look. A look that you both knew alllll too well. The look that meant you’d just—in layman's terms—secured the bag.

The man blustered as he looked at Suguru who’d stubbed out his cigarette into the ashtray and discarded the remains in the decorative trash can beside the couch, giving another small whistle to you that you’d rolled your eyes at but rose to your feet anyhow. 

Gliding across the room easily, you’d pulled open the bottom drawer of the small file cabinet that was tucked away into the corner. It was surrounded by other mountains of paperwork but not to the point where you couldn’t access. Humming a tune under your breath, you’d sifted through and pulled out one of many clipboards that were already prepped with papers for just the thing. You briskly walked back over, setting the clipboard in his lap and along with it, you allowed yourself to drape over his shoulders.

“What..what are these..?” his bushy brows knitted together as he flipped through the small packet that had two sections. 

Guiding his hand, you leaned into his ear, whispering, “This section..is all NDA. Mine and my colleague’s name are already signed, you just have to put yours.”

“..And…the rest..?”

“Oh, well…that’s where you sign away 75%, of course.” you had said it like it was nothing but his eyes nearly popped out of his head as he got ready to shove the clipboard away.

Once again interrupting, Suguru purred, “I..wouldn’t throw that away so hastily, if I were you.”

“75%? Are you two out of your fucking heads!?” 

“A tad,” Suguru replied curtly, dipping his hands into the pockets of his St. Laurents, methodically picking up the box of cigarettes that had lain forgotten on the table, kicking out another dart. “But that’s besides my point. My point is—you’ve no choice, essentially. Just as easily as we can dip that back into our filing cabinet, signed and safe, we could, just as easily, burn it. NDA and all which..gives us ample space to run our mouths off to well..anyone about what transpired here. And oh..you know how people just love to talk around here.”

Leaning in closer, you slipped out the pen that was clasped within the iron grip that held the papers together, propping it in his hand. “What’ll it be? 75% of your profit or..100% of your dignity, class, status, reputation..future?”

You could visually see the sweat beads forming on the man’s forehead and how they dripped down his nose. Whether it was because of the lines he’d done previous to your arrival or the sheer weight of the decision he was making—his stress was painfully obvious.

Though, you two must’ve struck a chord, given how he clicked out the pen tip and dragged his hand across all lines on the paper. NDA, profit as well as confidentiality of agreement. God knows if he bothered to read any sort of fine print. To go just an extra, petty mile, you placed a kiss on his cheek and cooed, “Good boy.” slipping off of him and back at Suguru’s side as the man cursed.

He had clearly overstayed his welcome, so, he stood up and Suguru outstretched his hand. Begrudgingly, the man took up the handshake firmly and rather aggressively. Settling his ruffled hair and the suit that looked like it would burst at the seams with any other huffs or puffs from him, the man stormed out of the room, “Pleasure doing business with you.” you and Suguru had chimed as he left. His face had been red with embarrassment, anger and just overall distress and soon enough, he disappeared behind the curtains. 

Sighing heavily, you’d flopped back down onto the couch, this time fully laying out and propping your feet up on the arm. “God, he smelled like alcohol and depression.” you’d remarked, closing your eyes with another hefty exhale.

“Those are typically the easiest to sway,” Suguru gave back, moving to sit down on the edge of the table, sliding the lighter there up into his palm and slipping a cigarette in between your lips. You closed your mouth around it, adjusting the tip with your fingers before feeling bits of hair falling over your face that weren’t your own. Slowly opening your eyes, you saw him perched over you, nudging the end of his cigarette against yours. “Need a light?” 

Obviously you did, so, he brought the flame between you two, holding it steady until both of yours lit up. You breathed in the smoke and just as you did, he slid onto the floor, keeping his elbow dug in beside your head. Uncomfortable with the position, you shifted onto your side, blowing the smoke in the opposite direction of his face, just as he did the same for you.

“Though..I am curious about one thing, though,” he’d begun, resting the side of his face in his palm. 

“Which isss..?” 

“Don’t..take this the wrong way,” already, the precursor had you cocking an eyebrow. “Why..are you so hesitant to sleep with…well, anyone?” taking another drag, he puffed out small clouds as he spoke next. “You’ve got the charm, you’ve got the eyes, the lips..the body, in general and I know anyone would die to get a taste of my most prized..”

“Possession?” you’d finished off for him. Looking askance for a moment, he shrugged it off, seemingly a silent agreement. “Well..it’s prostitution.”

Scoffing, he rolled his eyes. “Not if you don’t get paid for it.” 

You sat up a bit straighter, bringing yourself up to a sitting position looking down on him for a time being as you rested your leg on his shoulder, breathing in a longgg inhale of the burning leaves. “And why are you so curious, huh? You’re my employer—not my ‘friend’ as you so candidly put it in front of our guest. Much less any sort of partner or..person of interest.”

“Call it simple curiosity,” he brushed off, switching hands with his own cigarette and once again, stubbing it out on the ashtray, only to leave it there instead of fully discarding. “But..in my eyes? I think you’re just a prude.”

Now that got your attention even more. Those deep violets were boring up into yours and you found yourself tipping his head back so that the contact remained on an elevated level—on his part. “What makes you think that? The fact that I’m not opening my legs up for the first person who asks for it? Please. Those are called standards. High ones. I just..haven’t met someone who’s met them.”

“Then..wait. You..have fucked before, is what you’re saying?” Harsh, harsh silence ensued and with each passing moment, you watched his expression gradually come down to that of understanding. Then, it shifted to mild disbelief. “No. Fucking. Way. You’re a virgin? After..how many years? Never even..I don’t know, tried fellatio? Given, received—”

“No, Suguru! God. Why do you have to be so fuckin’ pushy all the time?” You attempted to slide your leg off of his shoulder, but a hand was already holding it there. Not moving, poking or prodding, just holding. “I’ve never done..any of that. And it’s not something I want to talk about. Especially not with you.”

A slight huffing fit and you ultimately turned your head off to the side, taking an angered drag to your almost-burnt-out dart. “I’m pushy because you make me push. You never give up information easily, you just hint at it, never elaborate and expect me to move on—it’s a common theme, regardless of context. You’re just pissy because I’m making you confront something that you didn’t want to. Once again, being a pussy.”

“Oh yeah? Then why the fuck are we still talking? Huh? You got the information you wanted, you have successfully pissed me off, you got your deal for the night and yet you’re still right here, running. Your. Mouth.” you’d hiss, finally coming to make eye contact once more. With each insult, each snide and snippy remark, you felt his fingers tightening on your leg in a subconscious manner. 

With a final adjusting of the set his jaw was at, he gave a soft wry. Truly, if getting under your skin was an Ivy League competition—he’d win first place every time. “Come shut it then. Since you’re the big and bad adult virgin, then you can actually do something about it, right? You can stop being all whiny, stop bitching and moaning about shit never changing and actually put some actions behind your baseless words for once. Go on. I’m all ears, let’s see how you try to sweet talk your way out of growing a pair. Again.”

You were thoroughly flustered at his prompt, taking a glance over at the drawn curtains and then back at him with a look that was a bit short of confused. “I..”

“You?”

“We haven’t even..closed up yet. We have a whole busload of patrons right outside of those curtains, drinking and smoking and doing whatever the fuck and you decide that now is a good time to try and jeer me out of my virginity? What makes you think you’re even the type I go for? Is it just that big ass ego talking, again?”

Seeming to have gotten just relatively annoyed, Suguru had pulled you a bit further off of the couch, bringing your leg to rest on his hip as he leaned in to loom over you. “Look at that—more excuses,” a deadly cold tone in his voice, hands now planting against the back of the couch, he stared down at you with a mix of heavyset irritation and rolled his tongue over the backs of his teeth—a habit. “First the fuck of all,”

“It’s a strip club, a night club at that, of course we’re not closing anytime soon. Second of all, I don’t have to persuade or coax or jeer you out of jack shit—you’re too smart and too stubborn for that. If I want something from someone, I’ll take it when they give it up and never a minute sooner or later. And as for me knowing I’m your type,” he took the time to pull your chin up into his hand, smirking down at your adorable, seething, angry expression. “Eyes talk. They talk loud.”

“Can you hear mine saying, ‘fuck you’ right now?”

“Boy, please. More like asking me to fuck you.” he immediately shot back.

That was one thing that you two leveled on—the levels of attitude and pure sass that flowed between your interactions. It was what made you two such repelling forces at times. Both your greatest strengths and the ultimate downfall that wound you both up at each other’s throats. God help anyone who was caught in the fray.

You made no move to jerk your face away or even move at all…so he did.

The same hand that held your face snaked a thumb into your mouth and every instinct inside you screamed to bite down. But as if he read your mind, “Don’t even think about biting me. You’re the younger but you can still get handled like you’re as grown as you like to fuckin’ act.” he warned, low and sharp. And you knew he meant every word of it.

Tasting of misplaced tobacco and his hand lotion—cedar and vanilla—you reluctantly analyzed the flavor that his finger painted your tongue with. In turn, he let his thumb slip deeper into your saliva-slick cavern, pressing up against your cheeks, down on your tongue, running along the edges of your teeth and after a bit, you’d become a bit pliant to it, letting your jaw slack in time when he pulled at your bottom lip. “Tongue out.”

Complying, you rolled your tongue out of your mouth and you watched as he leaned down to your level, smiling languidly at your pouting face. “Tell me, spitfire. If I’m sooo not your type, then why haven’t you pulled back? Why haven’t you pushed me off? We both know that if you had really wanted to bite, then you would have.”

“I just..”

“Just..what? Realized that you’re full of shit? It’s not that hard to recognize when someone has feelings for me, y’know. I’m not nearly as dense as you perceive me to be,” With that, he got lower, sliding his hand down to where it was perched beside your head. In time, his knee came to part your thighs slightly as he breathed in every breath you drew out. Holding there, staring so intently into your slitted eyes, he closed the distance. 

He searched for any sign that you hated it, any fight left behind your eyes as his tongue worked its way into your mouth—dominating the exchange easily as it pushed deeper into your awaiting maw. Easily, you could feel the tip of it tickling the roof of your mouth, coming down to twist and suck on your own. All the while, he’d kept his eyes open, glued onto your own until they finally closed and ultimately succumbed to the welcomed invasion. 

It was hot, sloppy, almost and you could’ve sworn he tasted so much like nectar that, if you’d wanted to, you could bottle it up and sell it as the finest honey. Almost intoxicating. In the way he drifted his hand down to the hinges of your jaw, the way he was groaning into the kiss, the way his tongue slipped and slid against yours in a sticky cacophony. You felt like you were getting drunk off of it..and that was in a literal sense.

After a few minutes of this, of stolen breaths, you could already feel your body temperature rising. At an unnatural rate. Heaving a few breaths, you wiped off your mouth and lifted the remaining mixture of your saliva to sniff it. It..did smell sweet.

“Did you just..fucking drug me, Geto?” 

Shaking his head lightly, you heard a laugh of true amusement escape him. “Not..exactly.”

“Don’t be vague with me, prick. What did you..do..?” In regards to your question, you readily clammed up your thighs, only to be paused by the intrusion of one of his own between them. 

“Pfft- I kissed you, obviously,” Looking over you, his eyes landed on what had prompted your question in the first place. “Oh. Are you..”

Flushing almost instantly, you shoved his face to the side lightly. “Don’t..stare. It’s rude.”

“Ha, I’m rude now, huh? You’re the one who can’t handle a little makeout session without getting a hard-on. But, by all means; let’s stop here. I’ll walk out of this room and you can go right ahead and stay here, rub one out allll on your lonesome and we can pretend this never even happened,” He brought you hand back down, nailing it against the plush of the couch cushion as he pressed his lips up against the shell of your ear. “You can go back to being nothing but a fucking tease—flaunting off what you never plan on giving up because..you’re too scared to. Doesn’t that just sound like the perfect, unfulfilled and empty little life you’ve always dreamt of?”

 You were more than pissed off, shaking him away from your ear to where you thudded your forehead against his, noses just short of brushing against each other as you glared at him with fire and embers crackling in your irises. “Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. You think that you’re so much better than me because you’ve gotten your dick wet?”

“Among others.”

The slightest twitch of your eyebrow and you dragged him in with a nipping of his bottom lip. “Then let me prove you wrong. If you think that I’m too pussy to do something, then let me prove you dead wrong. I’ll let you fuck me and I’ll own that shit. I’ll own you. You arrogant, stuck-up, egotistical assho—” another cutoff, and this time, he was on you. 

In complete and total honesty, he tuned you out at ‘I’ll let you fuck me’ and whatever else was meaningless. Fumbling around with the laces he’d undone so easily on your calves before, he pulled them loose and slipped one off before sending you both down into the couch with ease. Kissing down your jawline, hair draping over your chest as he did so, he hastily tugged at the strings of the other before it gave and you readily kicked it off to the floor where it landed with a thump.

Once your legs were bare, he ran his hands up until they landed on your thighs, resting them there and just kneading the soft skin between his fingers, just getting a good feel for you as he leaned down to tug the hem your crop up, using his tongue to shove it into your mouth where he breathlessly commanded, “Hold.” and you readily obliged. Your teeth came down to do exactly as you were told and keeping your eyes on his every move, you watched Suguru kiss down the middle of your chest, paying so much attention that you were caught so off guard when he started biting. 

Not just one, not two, not three but half-near a dozen wherever it was blank enough. From your flushed red nipples that he teased mercilessly with his tongue, only to sink his..abnormally sharp teeth into one, lapping at the bits of red that blossomed from the small incisions—dragging his face over to repeat the steps all over again.

From your ribs to your sides, to your hips which he had to drag your shorts to aside for—he was marking you the fuck up. But oh, you didn’t have the heart to tell him to stop, to tell him that it hurt when his canines sunk a centimeter too deep—oh no, you were loving every second. The delicious mix of pleasure-pain that danced and prickled your skin was too good to give up. So much so that you’d begun to do the work on your own, bringing both of your hands up to your pebbled protrusions, pinching and rubbing in alternating doses to try and imitate the feeling that his mouth had placed there previously.

Other than the heavy breathing fits coming from the both of you, the room was relatively quiet. Only the sounds of the other club members cutting up and acting a plum fool were available for any auditory distraction. It was easy to get lost in it before you’d felt your waistband being tugged on. Not completely coming down but just so to where he could get a fair look at your happy trail.

That was when he placed a hickey right under your belly button, dipping lower to the flat valley between either of your hips to give yet another bite. But..this one, this one was so much different. 

He’d held his face there, gaining a hold on your hips that was nearly bruising and weird enough..it felt like he was pumping something into you. A weird surge of energy that you could’ve sworn you felt directly shooting up your tailbone and creating a deep pool of heat at the source. “F-fuck..! That feels..mhn~” still, he held his face there and the longer he did, the longer that…that feeling started to burn. 

Dead silent, save for the soft sucking sounds he made with each kiss of his lips that rained on that same spot, Suguru stayed planted right there. He began to rub soothing circles on your sides and by that time, your stomach was searing. A foreign sort of sensation that had your hand drifting down to fist his hair, trying to tug him off for just a moment, just a minute to breathe through it. Allowing no such thing, Suguru gave a gentle grunt against your skin and you felt his teeth sink impossibly deeper into your pelvis. Then, right then was where it had bordered on painful and that final crackle of pressure and electricity was sent barrelling up your spine in a way that sent a strained, throaty groan tumbling from your lips.

Shifting his focus, one of his hands traveled back up, covering your mouth up which you had no choice but to moan into, letting some of the saliva gathering at the corners of your lips spread across his palm. Your free hand was up on his wrist in an instant—not tugging him away but just holding it for dear life as the pain set in. It was only a moment, you swore, that your eyes tore off of his mouth and its ministrations, head sent to fall back into the arm of the couch, before the haze began to cloud your vision.

Your body becoming more pliant in his hand, Suguru finally pulled off with a hum of approval. “Thaat’s it..you alright there? Aw, you must be so confused, huh? Mr. Knoitall, not knowing a single thing about what’s going on around him, about what’s happening to him. So frustrating, isn’t it?” he’d teased, rubbing over that same spot where his mouth had previously been and using his grip on either of your cheeks to tilt your gaze down. And even in the state of yours that was bordering on delirious, you could see it.

Branded on your skin like some lame temporary tattoo, was a..a sigil..? No, no..more like a binding seal, covered up by pretty twists and turns, topped off with a black heart, scrawled with the faintest of glows to it. You began to panic, obviously, but the majority of your focus was drawn to the pure headrush you’d gotten from the action of him planting it there. That wasn’t it, that wasn’t even half of it.

Right before your eyes, you witnessed something you’d only heard or seen in shitty porn flicks and fantasy novels; Suguru, in all of his stoic, laidback, seemingly harmless—heavy on the ‘seemingly’—had begun to..to change. Into something…not even of this world. 

Thick, black horns, sprouting from the roots of his inky locks, curling in on themselves until they sat so perfectly on the top of his head. A set of teeth that actually matched the previous bites you’d felt, now decorating the inside of his mouth, sharpened nails that now started to dig into your cheeks, just short of breaking skin, and what took the cake was that winding, thin, tail—finishing at the end with a perfect point. 

Suguru smiled devilishly at the way your expression shifted from that of utterly entranced in your own bodily heat and flush to one of panic and deadly realization. This entire time, the past four years, you were..well, fucking with a demon. Not just in the sense of his personality, not just in the way he had climbed the ranks of the underground business world, not just in how he so so easily could talk his way out of any sort of trouble—a literal demon. In every sense of the word. “Fuck, I’ve waited too long for this. For you. I’m genuinely surprised it took you this long to piece together,”

“It took so much warming up to, so much..naïve trust, so many stupid nights spent listening to you ramble on, and on and on about your shitty romantic luck with these lowlife humans, so many numbers upon numbers forged and carefully curated together for us to get..here,” he spoke as if he was some sort of grand adventurist, some deep sea diver who had finally come up on Atlantis. “Did you have fun? Playing this game with me, rising above all the rest with me, building a goddamn empire with me, with you as the eye of the storm I was creating?”

Leaning down, he saw how your eyes had widened up with fear, not at all quelled by the new realm of heat and desire that flowed freely through your veins like the finest of drugs. And only then, seeing that unfamiliar sight, the way you were mentally slipping from his grasp, only then did he drop his voice back down to a purr, pressing his hand just a bit harder against your mouth as you struggled with wrapping your head around it all. “Hey, heyy, calm the fuck down. It’s too much to explain, not enough time nor..privacy to get into details, but I assure you, I’m not here to hurt you.”

Obviously, your eyebrows fell at a slant—he had to be lying..right? 

“Come on. Wise up, will you? If I wanted to hurt you, to wreck your life, to bring you to your knees..I would have done so by now. While I did..withhold the truth for a minute there..I came clean, didn’t I? I’m still the same man you met that day..” he breathed, coming in closer to your face, leaving enough distance to where you could see nothing past his dark tresses and those pretty, pretty amethysts. “The man who convinced you to go on this journey..the man you trusted enough to dive head first into this with, the man who fucking made you. Remember that, honey?”

Searching your eyes for the same fight that had lingered just a moment, he saw it dimming and along with that, felt your breathing evening out—well, as much as it could with the effects of his aphrodisiac-riddled tongue still laying waste. “Yeahhh, yeah you do. I know you do. So..promise me something, won’t you? I’m going to take my hand off and you’re not going to scream. That’s a promise. Isn’t it?”

Nodding slowly, you had to will yourself to accept the reality of your position. And just as both of you promised—his hand was off of you and your vocal track was still. “There we go..I guess you do know how to shut the fuck up. When it counts, at least.”

“I..I don’t…understand.” you’d simpered off.

“And you don’t need to. But for a basic rundown, I’m an incubus. Sent here to Earth to satiate the darkest and most carnal parts of human existence. Typically, though..we hop from person to person but..you,” licking a stripe up from the side of your throat, all the way up to your ear once more, he finished, “You were so worth the wait.”

It was easy for that to elicit the smallest of whimpers from you, given your heightened state of arousal and general sensitivity. “Getting to know you, see how you operate, how you tease, how you taunt, how you work, how you tick..it’s things like that which make the moment of climax, of unraveling you to the fullest and deepest extent that an incubus should strive for. Taking my time with you was the best decision of my fucking career. Because well, haha, look at you now.” Your cheeks turned that deep shade of rose and once again, you were looking up at him in a manner that was just too hard to even peel his gaze off of. “So..what about..that?” you’d gestured down to where the tattoo was embedded into your skin and back up to him. “Is it..permanent…?” 

“God no,” he laughed. “There’s just..one way to get rid of it.”

“Which is..?”

Suguru took a moment to wrap your legs up around his waist, creating a slow grind of friction between both of your aching erections, sadly confined by the layers of fabric that marred them. “Letting me cum deep inside this pretty fuckin’ body. Letting me be the first to taint you, letting me take you to heights that your beautiful mind hasn’t even thought to fathom before..letting me fuck you full until you can’t take it anymore. Then and only then, will you be rid of that pesky mark. Be rid of that burning need you feel in your core.”

“Then what the fuck are you waiting for?” the speed at which the words came from your mouth left both of you just a bit stunned. He hadn’t expected you to give such a brazen and honest cajole into what he wanted and you didn’t realize until you said it just how badly you craved it. In your head, maybe you’d reasoned that it was just the influence of the mark, of the aphrodisiac-soaked kisses but..

You’d be a filthy liar if you said you hadn’t been thinking about something under the same notes from the day you laid eyes on him. 

Now, though, it was anyone’s game. And Suguru took that and bolted.

Within seconds, he had reached down, gathering your legs into his arms as he pulled your shorts and smallclothes up and over your skin with ease, exposing your most intimate areas to the cold, unforgiving air of the A/C unit, sliding his hand right back between your thighs, only now, his fingers were wrapping around your leaking shaft, using precision to build a gentle rhythm for the idle handjob he was giving you. 

It was so simple but it felt worlds different than when you did it on your own. His hand was larger, covered more ground with less effort and if compared, it was slightly rougher which made it easy to create friction. Your hands fell back over your mouth as you took in the details that were producing the repeated squelching sounds ringing out into the air. “Damn, you really are a virgin, huh? Aww, is the sensitivity getting to you that bad? You’re dripping like a faucet down here..” his actions were dirty but his mouth was just downright nasty.

Amid every pass of his hand, you felt your thighs trembling around his wrist, making your eyes flutter as you neatly rested your head back against the couch once again. It wasn’t a surprise when you heard his belt coming undone, snapping your sights back to where he’d slid the Prada out of its comfy holsters and let it slip onto the floor with a series of clinks. His free hand, taking initiative, slid his pants down just enough for his hardened length to spring up, eager and waiting—despite how he had been teasing you about the way you were spilling out, he was barely any better. The tip of his cock was just drooling, offering enough for him to slick his hand up from base to tip, twisting on the upstroke. A mirror of what his other was doing to you.

Another minute or so and he had begun to feel how you twitched and tensed in his grip, seemingly growing harder as he sped up. But what he also noticed was how your voice was slipping. Now that was a definite no-go. For as much of an exhibitionist as he was, it wasn’t really on his bingo card to get caught. Not like this. So what did he do? The only thing that he found logical of course.

His fingers let go of you, leaving you to shudder and whine for a moment as per the loss of stimulation. Setting your legs back down neatly onto the couch, he took another second to hop off of the couch, coming to the head of it where your pretty face lay, all unassuming and just begging for the next high of physicality that you could reach. It wasn’t long before he was gently tapping his fat tip against your slightly parted lips, smirking down at you as you saw the way his tail mildly whipped behind him. “Hey..I know you’re not a fan of getting caught in the moment…I can’t say I am either. I also know how desperate you are to make a mess on my hand, so..how about we kill two birds with one..stone?” punctuating his words, he just barely nudged his cock between your lips.

You could taste the pre that ran off of it and your heart was just racing at the idea of it. Right here, right now, he wanted you to suck him dry whilst he jerked you off…with who knows how many people just a few yards away. Though..coming from him..right now? It didn’t sound bad at all.

Giving a coy nod, you watched his eyes light up as he came to lean over you more properly once again. Slowly, steadily, he eased inch by inch into your mouth, gaining a new hold on your hardness that stood at attention, pleading for his attention. “Wider,” he instructed. “I shouldn’t feel your teeth.” Trying your best, you made your lips stretch obscenely around his shaft, pulling your lips in just a bit to make up for the distance you couldn’t open up. “Theree you go. Just keep your..hah, mouth open, just like that. Let me do alll the work.” followed by a strained groan, you felt his hand start to move along your own length, multitasking as he fully reached the back of your mouth.

Expecting him to pull it out before you lost your breath, you were surprised when he..didn’t. Your hands came up to his thighs, just barely splaying before he was hissing out another command. “Hands off. Relax. Relax your throat, swallow around me,” guiding your movements, he brought his free up under your neck, feeling exactly where he was nestled in so snugly. A teasing roll of his hips and Suguru felt you starting to obey. “Ahh..thaat’s right. Breathe through your nose, don’t worry about moving just..just let me..fuck..” his words fell short as he shifted his hold from your neck to the back of your head, snaking his fingers through your hair as he held you there.

Along with that, he’d continued the shlicking of his hand up and down your cock, feeling how the beads of pre rolled off. Suguru’s thumb swiped across your slit, pressing down as he methodically moved it back and forth there and among the dual focus, he got a wicked idea. 

Still, slowly pistoning his hips in and out of the constricting cavern of your mouth, he slithered his tail up to coil around your shaft, creating a bit of spring action in the way it stroked you off. It was so much different from his hand, a tighter hold but just as easily gliding over your sensitive skin in a way that felt way too good. 

Your head was just swimming—mouth full of cock, your own being handled with the most care you’d ever felt, struggling to register everything—and Suguru leaned back just a bit, reveling in the way your moans sent vibrations reverberating up his girth. This angle let him get even deeper into your throat, just so that slight upward curve could tickle your uvula in a way that would’ve triggered your... “Shit, no gag reflex? You really are wasted potential..fuckin’ incarnated,” he groaned breathily, continuing to let his hips swing back and forth, hitting the back of and pushing just past the opening of your esophagus with each pass. “Look at me, pretty. Lemme see how you look while I’m fuckin’ this gorgeous face..c’mon..”

Prompted and complying, your tear-stricken eyes looked back up at him, vision mildly blurred by the saltwater that marred them and threatened to spill over. Though, what Suguru had not anticipated was just how divine you looked with him down your throat. How your cheeks were all puffed out, the low-lidded eyes you were giving him, how utterly pathetic you looked—it took him a minute to realize that you were, in fact, just getting close. Precariously close to a climax with how his tail had sped up its spring coil rhythm. Suguru, so caught up in his own pleasure he hadn’t even realized how his body was reacting and affecting yours in return.

“F-fuck..I’m..” he brought his other hand over, lacing it through your hair to gain a better grip on your head as he quite literally forced you to deepthroat him. Again and again, deeper than before, he dug his cock into your throat to the point where your nose would be mushed against his pelvis, tickled by the wiry hairs surrounding the base. He was getting vocal with it, but then again, so were you. 

Choking and sputtering around him to the point where drool had coated every section of his pulsing dick, messily coating your lips and spilling out onto the cushion of the couch. That of which your hands had been holding onto dear life to, nails digging into the fabric as you felt your own impending release building up. “Nghh..~ ‘M gonna fuckin’ cum..” he announced, completely unaware of how his grip on your hair and his tail’s on your shaft tightened. “Swallow..swallow every last d-drop of me.. If you waste any, I’ll keep goin’ ‘till neither of us can take it..” 

Of course, he didn’t really mean it..or, that’s what you told yourself at least, for a fleeting moment. Though, almost nothing mattered in the next few moments as you felt that tight coil in your stomach finally snap and cause the first drops of your release to begin dripping onto the couch cushions before your hips were full on writhing, rutting against nothing but air as your load was sent covering up your stomach and thighs, leaving you panting and desperate for any breath of oxygen you could get.

Eyes rolling just enough to create a tension at the front of your head, Suguru angled in all the way, dragging your mouth fully down onto his cock as he found his own climax deep within the confines of your mouth. Your lips were practically kissing his pelvic arch as you fell slack in his grasp. His head fell back and you felt the moment the first hot rope was shot down your throat, could feel it in how his balls twitched and came in close to his body, completely emptying himself out. 

“Mhmm..swallow it…drink it all down..my gift..from me, to you,” he rambled, grinding his hips up against your face and riding out both of your orgasms until you were both left in a relative mess. After he made sure to finish up properly, he let his softening cock slip out from your mouth, leaving you to cough and reflexively swallow repeatedly. His tail allowed your own respite as it loosened and finally fell away. “I think I’m actually glad I didn’t let that old fuck get his hands on you before me.” he chuckled dryly, running a hand through the hairs that had fallen out of place.

After regaining your composure, you’d look up at him and then down to the mess that you’d made of well..yourself. Suguru had flicked his tail around, looking at what you’d left behind and smiled that small grin you’d grown so accustomed to. “What? You did that.”

“B-because..” you had brought a hand up to your throat, realizing you were being too hasty with how raw it felt already. Dramatics..were always in your deck of cards. “You didn’t..the mark is..still there.”

“Oh, well..” Suguru stalked ever closer, cupping your spit and tear-drenched face, licking away at a tear track before chuckling darkly in response to your only concern after everything that had just transpired. “Guess we’re not done here yet, then. Huh?”

        ⋆⁺₊⋆ —————⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰————— ⋆⁺₊⋆

“Come the fuck on, you call that riding?” Suguru had lightly jeered from under you, feet fully planted on the ground as you squirmed every so often on his lap. It had only been a few minutes since you’d even taken the whole thing. All 8.2, now tightly hugged by your velvety insides. The only reason he’d given the courtesy of letting you get on top was because..it was your first time. And he knew better than anyone how ‘out of hand’ he could get when it came to fucking. 

But fuck was it hard not to just start thrusting up into you without any warning, to listen to the yelps that you’d let out, how you’d let the whole damn establishment know who was impaling you on their cock, to let every scumbag, gambler, addict, slut, whore within the walls of the place know—you were his. Though, he didn’t want to scare you off, didn’t want to have to hear your fucking mouth after the fact, and so, here he was, staring up at your flushed face as you basically—little less than—cockwarmed him.

“I’m..t-tryin’, Sugu..~” you’d complained, stirring your hips in a small circle that gave you more than enough insight as to what you were getting into. “Not my fault you’re so..”

A grind up had you sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, immediately stifling the moan that was about to pour out. “Big? Yeah, I know. But seriously, you’re killing me here. I get first-time jitters but..” trailing off, Suguru couldn’t help but finally register what you’d called him. “Wait, wait, say that again?”

“N-not my fault..?”

“Before that.” 

Pulling a slight pout, you huffed out. “Sugu..?” Oh, if it wasn’t hard before, that particular whine of his name was enough for him to throw just a bit of caution to the wind. That he did, given how he’d started creating his own circles with his hips, grinding up into you and just memorizing each and every ridge that made your tight channel so damn visceral. 

“Yeahh, keeep callin’ me that. It sounds so fuckin’ right on your lips,” he panted, adjusting his grip on your hips to guide your hesitant movements, making them bolder, deeper, sooo much fucking deeper than you’d initially intended. “Hey, put your head on my shoulder, arch your back more. I want to try somethin’ out..”

You were just happy he was giving you a new method to keep your voice down that wouldn’t involve having to swallow your own blood, so, following his words to the letter, you let your head fall forward, adjusting to where your face was nuzzled into the side of his neck comfortably. His cologne still lingered, even in the midst of your coupling. It wasn’t too bad that you greedily drank in the scent, mildly just disguised as being out of breath.

Tranquility being relatively snapped, you felt his hands sliding down your arms, slowly, caressing before he guided them to gather right about your tailbone. Confused, you began to peek your head up, but you got a clue real fuckin’ quick. His tail had curled around your wrists, threading through as he held your arms there long enough for him to get a secure hold on you—long enough for him to take the reins on this ride.

“Much fuckin’ better..now, try to keep your voice down, yeah? If you cause a scene..anyone could just peek riiight through those curtains,” he leaned in to nip at your ear, letting a rumbling laughter escape him. “And see how much of a needy slut you are for me. Wouldn’t want that, would we?”

Blushing more than you cared to admit, you found yourself shaking your head in response. He took up your face in his hand again, directing your gaze right into his. “Words.”

“N-no..no we wouldn’t.”

“What’s my name?”

Shrinking in on yourself a bit, you pulled what had to be the most adorable expression of embarrassment Suguru had ever seen on anyone. All the more sweeter was seeing it on your face. “Suguru..” you’d whimper out in response. Well, you never had to tell him twice when it came to something he already wanted to do.

“Good fuckin’ boyyy,” he almost growled against your skin, starting up his own pace inside of you. Oh, when he started moving—letting the fat crown of his cock pummel its way through your narrow heat, you almost immediately fell forward once more, burying your face right back where it belonged. “Aw, can you feel it?”

You nodded, letting your fingers clench and unclench behind your back, digging into your palms, only to leave crescents in their wake when you relaxed them again. In no time at all, he was holding you up, a firm hold under each junction where your ass and thighs connected, bringing you up and down, up and downn, each time prompting another choked up moan to escape your lips. “Keep it down.” he chided, to which you smothered your mouth against the side of his neck.

Suguru leaned back a bit, taking you with him as he continued his ministrations. You could hear the ragged edge building in his breath as he stirred up your innards, picking up the depth and with it, the intensity—deep, looongg strokes that felt like they were in your fucking stomach at some points. At a certain threshold, you’d had to simply bite down on the crevice of his neck and shoulder, causing a slightly pained hiss to leave him, steadily dulled out by a series of efforting grunts. 

“Sugu-ru..~” you mewled out in between the continuous, upward drive of his hips. “.. ‘M gonna..c-cum again..~” 

“Like hell you are,” he replied curtly. You felt his tail tighten around your wrists and alongside it, his hold on you. “Cumming on my cock, without my permission? That shit doesn’t even sound right,” elaborating further, he punctuated his point by speeding up his pace and instead of moving you, he kept you hovering above him as he fucked up into you at an angle that gave him ample opportunity to drive you wild. “Fuckin’..mhn..~ Hold it. Hold it in and if you can’t, then I guess I’ll fuck you until you get it through your head. Understood?” Frantically, you nodded your head, a breathy series of whines following suit. “Words, slut.”

“Ahh~! Y-yes, Suguru..nghh, fuuckk..~!” voice cracking on the last syllable, you fell back into him, already feeling the haze gracing your eyes due to the way he was fucking bullying your prostate, drawing out strained ‘oohs’ and ‘oh, fuck’s each time he would draaagg himself in and out. Consequences be damned, you knew at least someone had already heard you. 

If not you, then him. “Shiiit, it’s like you were fuckin’—fuck..~ Made for this. Uhuhh, made to take every inch of this dick, made to just go braindead on my dick. Mhmm, no more backtalk, no more fuckin’ attitude. Just how it should always be..” just absolutely rambling. In your own fucked-out state of mind, his words barely even registered, barely even clicked but this was his way of coping with..you.

Coping with how ungodly perfect you felt wrapped around him, your walls fluttering and clenching down on him, sucking him back in each time he pulled out. Like your body was screaming, just to make up for what your mouth wasn’t currently allowed to fulfill. 

His hand found its way through your hair again, this time, tugging your head back with a yank that exposed your throat sooo nicely, that brought your face right above his, letting him lean in to paint any parts of your blank canvas with more hickeys, more straight up bite marks that he didn’t even bother to lick back up. He knew you were too gone to care. Too cockdrunk to properly comprehend anything around you, let alone a little bit of pain. 

Right on the edge, he held you there for what felt like millenia before you felt the stutter of his own hips, felt his fingers tightening in the roots of your hair, heard his sharp inhales and exhales as he fucked you both ever closer to the second climax of the night. You knew that you wouldn’t last much longer, not with the arch your back felt permanently stuck at, not with how he was hitting that spot like it was a goddamn golden buzzer on AGT, not with how your cock had just been crying onto his lap, messing up his poor, poor button-down. Good thing the man seemed to not know that other colors existed on the spectrum besides monochrome.

“Pleaseee..~ Fuckin’ p-please, I’m so..ngh~!” you’d cried out through your teeth, arms already straining against the bind they were in, only to be pulled right back down into place by his tail coiling ever-tighter around your wrists. “God, please..!”

Suguru knew exactly what you meant. He knew what you needed. He knew what you fuckin’ yearned for that only he could give you. “Beg. Beg for me to let you spill your load alll over my lap, to f-fucking..dirty up my couch, to let go, to feel that rush—beg for it.”

“I already—ahh..~!”

“You can do better than that. So much..haah~ fuckin’ better..” 

The coil in your stomach wasn’t matching up with the speed at which your mouth was moving, so, in a last, desperate attempt to just get what you needed, you wound up saying ‘fuck it’ to trying to keep your voice down. “Pleasee, Suguru~ Please, I’ll b-be so fuckin’ good f-for you, just..please~! Make me cum..~ L-let me cum, please, God, please~”

“There he is,” he huffed in response, sending both of your lips crashing together, doing very minimal damage control on the fact that everyone outside, without a shadow of a doubt just heard you beg Suguru to cum like your life depended on it. But..who fucking cares? You sure didn’t, not with how your own hips had begun to swing and grind in tandem with his, trying to match his rhythm as your orgasm was sent over you in harsh, shuddering waves.

You felt the moment the coil snapped, felt the very instant that you came undone in his arms, all of your cries and sounds of pure ecstasy being swallowed up greedily by Suguru as he took one final, deep thrust up into you, simultaneously slamming you down to the hilt in a way that shook you down to the marrow as your seed painted over his chest and lap in a descending incline.

As you rode out yours, his own frothy load started to flood your insides, filling you up to the brim as he fucked it back into you, coming to a gradual stop—not before giving you a small taste of overstimulation, giving a grinding against the plush of your ass that had now basically swallowed his cock whole. After just a few pulses, it was seeping out of you, dripping down your thighs and coating his own balls in the remains of both of your intense bodygasms. 

Once he was sure that he’d given alll that he so generously offered up to you, he allowed his tail to release its hold on your wrists, having left red indents where its hold had previously been. Bringing your arms up to wrap around his neck, you slumped into his chest, heaving a heavy, contented sigh. It took him a minute to realize that the dampness on his chest wasn’t just your cum that had stained it but your own salty droplets.

“Why the tears..? Was that..” his voice had dropped to one of reluctant concern, and the vice-like grip he had on your hair before, loosened, leaving him to idly card his fingers through. Waiting patiently for your response, he made no move to even pull out, or even..get out of this moment with you. Not having to hear your voice droning on or nagging was a rarity, afterall.

Giving yourself a moment, you pulled back, wiping off your eyes with the heel of your palm, sniffling in just a bit. “I’m just..really glad it was you…” you’d admitted softly, seeing the faintest red tinge Suguru’s cheeks. 

“Don’t go..getting all soft on me, now. I just..hate seeing all of..you go to waste. I told you since..the day I met you, in fact. Remember?” his voice was missing that sharp edge that had been so present just moments ago—it could’ve very well been traced to the fact that he was literally still going soft inside of you but you decided to take it as a sign that you had made some kind of newfound progress in your relationship. “You deserve to be treated, to be valued, to be fucked by someone who sees the fact that you rise above..all this shit.”

Letting your head loll into his palm, Suguru slipped his hand to your cheek, rubbing his thumb over the apple of it. “I talk my stuff, I get business done, and I manage this entire..other world that we’ve built together. But I am..virtually nothing…without you.” you could’ve sworn that you heard your heart melting and pouring out from your insides. That also could have just been the cum that was dripping down your thighs still but…

“Pfft- look who’s going soft now,” teased lightly, even as you were wiping more tears away from your eyes. “Speaking of..would you…ahem, mind..?”

Suguru had planned on staying inside just a bit longer, but he gave in either way, pulling your hips up and letting his softened cock slip out of your cum-soaked hole with a lewd squelch that was chased by a wet pop! that had you shivering as he let you come back down to relax on his chest. Finally able to catch your breath after what felt like eons.

“Everyone’s..probably worried about where we are right now.” you’d reminded, only to be pulled in closer to Suguru’s chest, where he rested his chin on top of your head, sighing heavily as he propped one of his boots—which he’d been too caught up to even take off in the first place—up on the table.

“Let them,” he’d responded idly. “I, in complete and total honesty, could not give less of a fuck about anyone that’s outside of this room right now.” 

The admission wasn’t too out of the ordinary for him but, given the fact he hadn’t even bothered to revert back, you’d take it upon yourself to ask the burning question, “So uhm..how long has..this been a thing, huh?”

“Oh, what? Being an incubus?”

“Uhuh. I mean—did you like..already die or something?” you pressed curiously.

That let him give a bark of laughter as he ran his hands up your sides, focusing on the pressure points there that had you easing into the touch. “No, not quite. I guess you could say I was..born like this..? I suppose. It’s never been that much of a quarrel for me.”

“Were your parents demons too? I mean, do you come from Hell?” 

“You ask way too many questions for someone who just lost their virginity to a literal incubus.” he gave back.

Shrugging, you put out your bottom lip a bit. “Let’s just say.. ‘I’m curious.’”

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead and lay down for me, will you?” Suguru prompted, to which you instinctively tilted your head to the side. It was a natural thing you did that never ceased to make him think of you as some sort of..puppy, at times. 

“And..why is that..?” 

Rolling his eyes, he tugged you in closer, pressing his fingers deeper into your back muscles. “Because I can’t work out all the kinks from this angle. Plus, you deserve a lie down after I was inside you for so long. On both ends.” Amidst all of the light banter, you didn’t even pay attention to the fact that his little tattoo gift had long-since faded away.  “Touché, perv.” and like clockwork, you were easing yourself off of his lap and moving to lie flat on your stomach, already feeling his hands working like a masseuse to get out every single strain that he had put on your body. From your thighs and up, he made sure not to skip a single space, hopeful that with enough good aftercare that maybe you’d be up for a round two.

A/N: Phew..! That’s kind of..all I can say for this, lol. This has been the winter season of writing for me and before I go back on an inevitable hiatus, I wanted to deliver to you what everyone has been sooo on edge about. The love and support for Sweetest Sin has been phenomenal and I’m excited to bring more..in due time. (The glasses got nuked like 3/4s in. Running on like 0 sleep. Sorry for the yap, enjoy the filth. Sincerely, your Loverboy.) @aseqan 💝

[jennamoran]

If a strategist from Glitch were to try and go about killing a god (maybe they’ve backslided, maybe the god is just really annoying or trying to kill their friends), how would they go about doing it. What would be the best way to use Eide, Flore, Lore, or Wyrd?

-

Jenna, my readers are always asking me, how do you kill a god? But there is no one size fits all answer to killing gods.

You have to look within yourself.

You have to find the unique way of killing gods that expresses you.

-

Glitch is a game where you tell stories, and an important feature of stories about killing gods is that they are not all the same.

Some are long. Some short.

Some put their protagonists through heck. Some let them just glide through.

Stories can have very different ideas about what it takes, and what it means, to kill a god.

Gods, too, can differ.

-

If you're frustrated, looking at Glitch, trying to find the thing you're supposed to do to accomplish task X, you're misunderstanding the intended flow of play:

To kill a god, decide how you want to kill a god.

Then, express it in the form of actions.

Optionally, discover that you're misaligned with the group zeitgeist on how god-killing stories work, and adjust.

Then, the god dies, or doesn't.

If you're having trouble figuring out how you want to kill a god, then you might need to stick it on a back burner. Over time, you'll have a better understanding not just of the game options the traits provide but of how your character uses them, and some things your character might want to try will gain more dramatic weight in the group zeitgeist.

-

Decide you want to kill a god by shoving it out of your way into the street. Declare that as an everyday Ability action.

Decide you want to kill a god in a complicated flower rite. Declare that as a quest or planning miracle.

Chain it down in a place of sorrow with a Greater Invocation. Erase it with a handwave and your Wyrd. Give in to the wicked voice of your god-killing knife, that whispers to you always, and draw the curtain on the scene, and expect that when the next scene starts it will be dead.

Declare that gods aren't real, and let it poof away.

In every last case, perhaps the group goes, "Yeah, that's a satisfying answer!" Perhaps they don't. If they don't, then your action still "works," in that it happens unless in direct conflict with a stronger action, but it likely doesn't kill the god.

-

A secret is that this is not just how Glitch works.

In almost every RPG, the way you make something happen is get the group on board with that thing happening. All rules can do is help that happen.

If the rules of Glitch could make that happen then you wouldn't even have to read them, you wouldn't even have to know you were playing Glitch, you could think you were playing D&D and accidentally play Glitch instead and the rules would sort that out for you.

They can't.

-

When it comes to killing gods, the game of Glitch bestows a certain implicit authority on higher-level miracles, particularly epic miracles; miracles that take time to play out; miracles that imply in their description that they're on the right power level for killing gods.

Strategy and Greater Strategy are good ones when they apply, because you can get the players on board during the planning process, spend a while playing it out gathering narrative momentum, and then have it feel well-grounded when it works.

If you have a Talent for killing gods, then that probably works well, but also tends to reframe the game as one where you're killing a bunch of gods and more story time gets spent on the ones where there's a twist that makes it difficult. Think of the Traveller in Black; as competent as the traveller is, they still spend most of their time "in play" dealing with entities that are difficult even for them.

Greater Invocation is well-built for attacking gods.

Destruction and Greater Destruction can be good, though honestly they kind of push the GM to make a complex conflict out of it, which in turn means it's actually the Wailing Rite that would serve you best.

Flore is all kind of of one piece, but you'd definitely want to start with a Greater Glorification on a god-killing weapon.

-

If you decide in play to do something that the GM and group think you can probably do, but which they also think should feel difficult and earned, then you probably have to spend some time on either a quest or a spotlight-driven exploration of what's going on with that thing before coming up with a plan people think is cool, executing the plan, and then having the plan mostly work but devolve into some kind of chaotic complex conflict at the end to finish up the final details.

If you decide in play to kill a god ... well, probably the GM and group will believe you can, but also think it should feel difficult and earned. That's kind of what the book implies, at least.

-

In the old days---I once wrote this.

In the old days, they didn't know very much about the world. But they made maps anyway. If they had to map something they couldn't, they just drew whatever they felt like and wrote, "Here there be dragons."

We still don't know very much about the world; and there are things to map of it besides its surface.

How do you write a book?

How do you kill a god?

Can broken things be remade? Can destinies change? Is it worth the risk of hope?

Important questions, but one can only shrug, you see:

Here, there be dragons.

-

As for Glitch, I mean, like ... the game only has two rules, and they're not even a dozen words between them; some things had to be left as exercises for the reader, and the dreamer, and their group.

[ethereallyjade]

Pick a Card: How Will Next Semester Go?

Choose a photo that calls to you and the cards will tell you a message. As always, this is just for fun. Do not take anything seriously or above legal or medical advice. If you're interested in personal tarot readings and want to support me, check out my Paid Readings! Masterlist

1 - 4

Images are not mine

⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻

ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟙

It's gonna be real smooth. You're getting it all put together. I'm sensing that many of you may be graduating this semester. Older sibling/senior energy. There's a sense of everything finally coming together or something wrapping up nicely. Something is finished. I'm hearing 'Good riddance!' Signed, sealed, and delivered!

Your grades are going to be gorgeous. There's some kind of celebration, lots of smiling. You're going to feel very happy and abundant this upcoming semester. You'll have all your ducks in a row and feel very ready for whatever is next for you.

ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟚

I'm getting a kinda ridged energy here, but you guys will make it through. You might have a really hard class this semester, but I'm seeing that the thing that's standing in your way the most is yourself. Do not be afraid to ask for help: talk to your teachers, find tutors, watch youtube videos, etc. Put the time in. But most of all, don't allow negative thinking to get in your way. Don't tell yourself that you're gonna fail or that you can't do it, especially before the class even starts. That kind of self talk feels like nothing in the moment, but if you keep doing it it will affect you in the long run and not only adds unnecessary stress on you but can lead to other disorders. So, like, nip in before it gets out of hand.

Give yourself the chance, do your best. You might not get the grade you want, but you will pass this class or whatever it may be. Things might start rough or confusing, but I'm seeing that you'll start catching on towards the end. So, just put in that extra work when you can and you'll be fine.

ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟛

Similar to the last group, things might be a struggle at first, but you will catch on fast. Are some of you doing something new? A freshman? I keep seeing a young person going into college for the first time. Like, they didn't take things seriously, they were partying, going out to eat too much, hanging with friends, not doing homework, but then something happens and they're like 'Oh sh*t, this is real.' Can you relate to this? I'm seeing that you're gonna get hit with that wave of 'Oh, I actually have to lock in this time around.' There will be no avoidance or immature behavior this semester. The cards are saying to start getting your sh*t together lmao.

Not to wish bad fortune on any of you, but I'm really getting the sense of like... you will fail if you don't put in the effort. Like, go talk with your advisors, talk to your teachers, get a calendar. Everything you need to succeed is right in front of you, but no one can help you if you never ask. Watch your spending habits, don't cheat, do your homework, surround yourself with supportive good people, organize you work and time. This semester is really what you make it.

ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟜

I'm seeing giddy, more energetic, friends, and fun. This is a more laid back semester. You've been working hard, been very mature in your schooling so far, and I'm seeing that you'll just be reaping the rewards from your past efforts. Maybe you'll be working on a passion project or doing an internship. Something that doesn't feel like real work, because you'll be so into it. You'll be feeling stable and calm this semester, feeling accomplished and just better.

You might be getting more popular. I keep seeing that kind of student that walks into any room or class and just knows somebody. If that's not you, you might just be a familiar face to a lot of people because they've seen you all over campus or at events. Either way, others are starting to recognize you for something. If you don't have good and supportive friends already, you might find them this semester.

[buckets-and-trees]

Stella.

Stella.

This response is such an incredible gift! I can hardly begin to express how much it affected me to relive this chapter with you, and with such thought and insight! 🥹

Are we harboring perhaps a little crush here? + she’s not just starstruck or someone easily swooned by celebrity status.

Right on both counts! How could one not harbor a bit of a crush on America's golden "boy" but who is so clearly grown into being a man?! Especially after his nomad period and aging up like fine wine after. BUT she also has a level head on her shoulders.

I immensely enjoy writers working with all the things that the Blip would cause...

I would say that while it wasn't the first thing I knew about the Reader, it was in the first ten percent of things that I mapped out. There are a couple of major plot points that it will tie into later in the story, so I won't say anything about those, but one of the reasons it really felt like something I wanted for this Reader's backstory is that it gave a balance to Steve's other half if HE stayed and SHE blipped. As a unit, they could carry both persepctives and experiences together.

I love how competent we see Pepper be here, how she’s been so good at putting this team together.

...I forgot I put Maria Hill on this team.🧍🏻‍♀️ This chapter was written when I was verrrry deep into my rewatch of The West Wing and the presidential candidates were getting security/military briefings. At least I was thorough then! But I also didn't have any major plot points planned for international/military things to be affecting the candidates during the campaign, I just wanted to be thorough. AND I also remember when I wrote her onto this campaign team, I felt a very strong YEAH, BECAUSE WE DO NOT ACCEPT HALF OF WHAT HAPPENED IN SECRET INVASION!!! It just felt right hahaha.

After all, he is from a world where marriage wasn’t so focused on romantic love. But since he is a romantic, I’m definitely looking forward to them falling in love.

The reasoning Pepper lays out also has some elements of my own views of marriage - in that it HAS TO BE more than only romantic love, because marriage is hard work (as is anything worthwhile/that you invest in/that can grow). AND ALSO that married women should never be relegated to being only a trophy wife or a house wife (and I say that very specifically in that if those are roles that women want to have, then they should, but they should hopefully not be boxed into a corner).

I'M SO GLAD YOU LOVE HER! And not just this moment, but the other moments you mentioned that I was stitching little bits of character into her. Partly for Steve to fall in love with, but ... partly because in a lot of my Readers, I want it to feel like clothes that the person reading it can put on and wear for a while. Sometimes a costume, sometimes to deal with a complex issue, sometimes to have a wild time/experience something we otherwise never would... But when I write confident and driven readers or readers who are direct, I put a lot of what I would aspirationally hope that I could be into those characters, if that makes sense? I don't want them to be perfect, but I want them to have backbones and dreams and ambitions and reason and logic and real feelings that motivate them. For me, it's empowering - and if fiction gets to be an escape, sometimes I want to escape into healthy leading lady energy, and hope that that's what others reading this story can feel, too. 🥹

Oh, I’m intrigued by this. Is she a widow too?

🤐😏

This isn’t even a thirst trap, it’s a heart trap, and that’s worse.

this has the delightful found family vibes – which are definitely highlighting some major loss in First Lady’s background, I mean, she has to have a hint of craziness and not a lot to lose to jump into this headfirst – that I always enjoy in fic.

BINGO! Part of Reader's wiliingness to agree is the nature of being untethered to the life she was living.

But oh! Sam just! Sam is such a fantastic character/figure in the MCU, and I wanted to give him some good moments + parts to be part of this story, because Steve has strong ties to the important people in his life, you know? And so this story ending up having a strong inclusion of side characters started in this chapter, and although it's Steve x Reader, they couldn't be in a bubble - especially not given the campaign story shell, so I wanted to make everyone around them count/have significant roles to play.

"He might look like an all-American boy scout, but there's a lot more going on under the surface." + this is definitely hinting towards how he’s not just the perfect soldier or the good man but human and I am always here here for it. And we love Sam for recognizing all this in his friend.

It's so important to me to have characters that feel real, and I think... well, I think there can be this tendency around SOME people in MCU fandom (not all, but some), who hate and dismiss Steve's character for just being this perfect paragon boy scout idea of Captain America, and he's so much more. If we go to the Cap v. Iron Man, I think we see the same dismissal over Tony is just selfish but these are both only ASPECTS that they present, pieces that they struggle with, and when they're further and further explored, we see the complex layers. The complex Steve is the one I love to read and strive to write. And Sam giving a briefing here to our Reader about his character gave me the chance to put the marker in the sand and say it's the kind of Steve I was hoping to put in here, too.

And....also....

Sam - to be frank - is doing some damage control.

Because it sucks that Steve didn't come to this breakfast. THIS BREAKFAST WHERE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET HIS WIFE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE THEY ARE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW.

Reader is being very optimistic still, not letting it get to her, and definitely GENUINELY enjoying this time with Sam, but.... it still is what it is. Sam: not lying about anything, but definitely hyping his boy up so you don't resent Steve or feel defeated or insecure.

I know it's the delicious sort of slow burn when they don't even lay an eye on each other in the first two chapters.

BURN, BABY, BURNNNNN! IT'S GONNA BE SUCH A BURN, STELLA!

And, as I said in the very beginning of my response, this was such. a. gift. Doing basically a close re-read of this with you/through your comments also comes at SUCH an opportune/unique time because I just posted chapter 11 last Friday and I think I now have it tied down to just four more chapters, and it's reminding me of some of the key things that I had planted seeds for in the beginning, and some of them I know I've got strong threads that have already wrapped up, some I still need to wrap up but are on track, and some that I can circle back to that I forgot (like, oH HEY, WE'RE PROBABLY GONNA SEE MARIA HILL NOW because I did forget her 😩).

You are a goddess.

I'm sorry to hear that 2024 ended in such a drain and strain on your energy, and so I hope that 2025 can be a gentler and kinder year for you! Sending you so much 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 both for spending so much time on this commentary and just for you in general.

Red, White & True: Manhattan & Brooklyn (1/?)

Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers (future x curvy Millennial Female!Reader), Pepper Potts, Sam Wilson Word Count: 4k Summary: "There was an idea..." Words at the heart of what brought the Avengers together. Pepper Potts has persuaded Steve Rogers to step up and help again - but this time in a battle to The White House. She invites you to consider a key position.

Content/Warnings: none

Notes: This takes place in a post-Endgame scenario where Steve stays and generally most of TFATWS happened.

Prologue | Series

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

[MAY 15 - Manhattan, New York]

You try not to hold still while you wait in the lobby, but you’re nervous and the longer you sit, the more difficult it is to resist drumming your fingers, tapping your foot, jiggling your right leg as it’s crossed over your left, or even just chewing on your bottom lip.

You’re not anxious at all over meeting with Pepper, but what has you on alert is the possibility that you could theoretically meet Steve Rogers, former Captain America, today.

You take a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. The lobby of Stark Industries is immaculate, all sleek lines and modern design. The large windows let in plenty of natural light, making the space feel open and inviting despite its corporate purpose.

Your mind wanders back to your college days when you’d walked into a different Stark Industries lobby for the first time, a hopeful intern wanting to make a difference at the then-new Stark Foundation office. Pepper had been very involved in building the Foundation at the time, and had become a key mentor and - as the years passed and you left Stark Industries - a dear friend. She had helped fuel some of your late-night study sessions through grad school. Living in a new state, she had shown up and seen you through breakups, family drama, and the stress of putting together your thesis. Even when your paths diverged, you'd managed to stay in touch.

Back then, she’d become like the older sister you never had, seeing you through some of the difficult years figuring out how to be a real adult. Now, here you are, waiting to potentially join a presidential campaign she’s orchestrating for none other than Steve Rogers.

The receptionist's voice startles you out of your reverie. "Ms. Potts will see you now."

You stand, smoothing down your carefully chosen outfit - professional, but not stuffy. As you follow the receptionist down the hallway, your mind races with possibilities. What position could Pepper have in mind for you? Your background in political science and your years working in non-profit management seem like they could be useful, but you can't help feeling a little out of your depth.

As you approach Pepper's office, you take a deep breath to steady yourself. The door opens, and there she is - Pepper Potts, looking as poised and confident as ever in a crisp white blouse and tailored navy suit. Her strawberry blonde hair is pulled back in a neat ponytail, and her smile is warm and welcoming.

"It's so good to see you," she says, embracing you in a quick hug. "Come in, please."

You step into her spacious office, taking in the floor-to-ceiling windows with a breathtaking view of the city skyline. Pepper gestures to a comfortable-looking chair across from her desk, and you sit, trying to keep your nerves in check.

"I appreciate you coming on such short notice," Pepper begins. "I know it's been a few years since we’ve been able to catch up - even before the Blip.”

You were among the half who disappeared - still such a strange concept to grasp though you were supposedly settled back in. “I was happy to come! And of course I don’t mind a trip on the Stark Industries dime,” you say with a grin.

"Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee?"

You shake your head. "I'm fine, thanks."

Pepper settles into her chair, folding her hands on the desk. "So, I know I told you we’re putting together the campaign team for Rogers for America, but I'm sure you're wondering more specifically why I called you here."

You nod, leaning forward in your chair, eager to hear Pepper’s vision.

"We're putting together an incredible team," she begins, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "I've been reaching out to some of the brightest minds in politics, economics, and social justice. We have former White House staffers, grassroots organizers, and even a few unexpected faces from the private sector who are eager to contribute their expertise."

You are instantly intrigued, trying to imagine the caliber of people she's describing. Your mind races with possibilities - perhaps that brilliant campaign manager who orchestrated the upset victory in the last Senate race, or the economist whose revolutionary ideas about sustainable development have been making waves in academic circles.

"We've got strategists who are anticipating every move our opponents might make," Pepper continues, "and communications experts who can craft messages that will resonate with voters across the political spectrum.”

You listen intently, trying to pinpoint where you might fit into this powerhouse group.

"There's Maria Hill," Pepper continues, "who's handling security and intelligence briefings. She's got connections that'll be invaluable. Then there's Peter Parker - you might know him as Spider-Man - he's officially our youth outreach coordinator, but he's also got a brilliant scientific mind that we're tapping into for policy development."

Your eyebrows raise at the mention of Spider-Man.

Pepper leans forward, her eyes locking with yours. "But here's the thing - we're not just assembling a team of political operatives and policy experts. We need people who understand the heart of what we're trying to do, who can see the bigger picture and help keep us grounded in our core values."

Your heart begins to race as you start to realize where this might be going.

"That's where you come in," Pepper says, a warm smile spreading across her face. "I've watched your career over the years, how you've navigated the non-profit world, building coalitions and making real change happen. You have a gift for bringing people together, for seeing connections that others miss. Your experience gives you a unique perspective that we desperately need."

Your heart races as you process her words. You had assumed you might be offered some kind of advisory role, perhaps in fundraising or event planning. Maybe even appearance management or offering occasional input on strategy. But from Pepper's tone, it sounds like she has something more substantial in mind.

"Where do you see me on this team?" you ask, trying to keep your voice steady.

"I've been putting a lot of thought into this," Pepper continues, her voice filled with conviction. “You know we’re doing something unconventional. Did you read the presidential plan?”

You nod. Steve’s bid for President of the United States was still technically not public knowledge. You had signed an NDA - being told only that you were receiving a proposal Pepper wanted your input and consultation on, with potential to join the team if you supported the initiative, and just silence if you didn’t.

“It’s bold, idealistic, aspirational; but it’s also unapologetic, has clear plans of action, and could be transformational in ways we haven’t seen in living memory,” you give your assessment.

“And it’s something you could see yourself being a part of?”

You take a deep breath, but smile genuinely. “I couldn’t sleep the first night after you sent it over. I couldn’t stop reading, hoping, re-reading, imagining possibilities!”

“Good,” Pepper responds. “Perfect.”

“Put me to work wherever you need me!”

“I was hoping you would say that because I have a very specific position I need to get filled, and you’re my first - and only - pick for the job.”

“Pepper, stop holding out!” A nervous and eager laugh escapes you. “Tell me!”

Her response slams into you like a freight train, knocking the air from your lungs.

“Future First Lady.”

You feel your jaw drop in shock, almost hitting the ground as your mind races with disbelief and anger. The room feels like it's spinning as you struggle to process the weight of her words.

"What?" you gasp, your voice barely above a whisper. "Pepper, I... I don't understand. First Lady? But that would mean..."

Pepper holds up a hand, her expression serious. "We're not just running a campaign here. We're trying to redefine what leadership looks like in this country. Steve is an incredible man, and he needs a partner who understands the complexities of modern America, not just a trophy wife, someone who can connect with people from all walks of life."

You shake your head, still reeling. "But I'm not - I mean, Steve and I aren't even - we've never even met!"

"I know," Pepper says softly. "That's part of the plan. We want to show that leadership isn't about who you're married to or what your last name is. It's about vision, compassion, and the ability to bring people together."

Pepper leans back in her chair, her expression at least revealing some concern over your reaction. "I know it's a lot to take in."

"A lot to take in?" you interrupt, your voice rising. "Pepper, it's insane! It’s May, and the election is in November. How could I possibly be the First Lady?"

Pepper holds up a hand, trying to calm you. "I know, I know. Let me explain."

But you're on a roll now, your initial shock giving way to indignation. "Explain what? How you thought it was okay to offer me a position that requires me to be married to a stranger? Use me to score points?”

"I understand your reaction," Pepper says calmly, "but please, hear me out. This isn't about scoring political points or creating some sham marriage. We're trying to redefine what leadership looks like in this country."

You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself. "Go on," you say, your voice tight, “because you’re still trotting out marriage.”

"We can’t outright ignore traditional expectations and polling numbers. If Steve were running as the nominee for either of the major parties, we could probably win without him being married, but since he’s running as an independent, he needs a wife. That being said, we want to move away from the traditional concept of the First Lady as just the President's wife," Pepper explains. "The vision is a First Partnership. Two people who work together. There’ve been a few First Ladies who have done more with their platform and position, and that’s what we would want for you, too.”

You chew on your lip, not persuaded yet, but a little less angry.

“We have an opportunity to show what a healthy partnership in marriage could look like to new generations. You’re my first and only choice because of your skills, experience, and the vision I know you would bring to the table. But you’re also my first and only choice because I think you two are well-suited for each other.”

You open your mouth to protest, but Pepper raises her hand to stop you.

“You and Steve don’t have to put on a show and be madly in love - that’s not what I want, that’s not what he wants or expects either.”

You frown. “What does he expect?” you ask. And then you perk up even more. “Has he agreed to this? Shouldn’t he at least be here to make the offer himself?”

Pepper sighs. “It was easier for me to convince him to run in the first place than to agree that he needed a wife.”

“But you’re telling me he did agree?”

Pepper nods. “He did.”

You unconsciously rub the empty space on your left ring finger. “Couldn’t we just get engaged and leave the question of a marriage for whether or not he wins?”

A soft laugh falls from Pepper’s mouth. “He actually asked the same thing.”

“And…?” You raise your eyes expectantly.

“The public would rake us over the coals and accuse us of only doing it as a publicity stunt. The campaign would become a gossip column on your relationship status and nothing more.”

“But isn’t it a publicity stunt?”

“We can spin a marriage that seems to appear out of nowhere. Steve’s always been a private person when it comes to his personal life. We will tell people you met through me - which is true. I thought you were well-suited for each other - which I do. When people asked why the wedding just before announcing his bid for the presidency, we tell them you two didn’t want your relationship status to become the big question on everyone’s minds so they can focus on the platforms and policies instead and that every marriage takes work regardless of the length of the courtship.”

You sit in stunned silence for a moment, trying to process everything Pepper has said. The idea of marrying someone you've never met, let alone becoming the First Lady of the United States, seems utterly surreal. And yet, there's a part of you that's intrigued by the challenge, by the opportunity to make a real difference on such a grand scale.

"I need some time to think about this," you finally say, your voice barely above a whisper.

Pepper nods understandingly. "Of course. It's a lot to take in. But I want you to know that I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't think you were perfect for this role. Not just as a political partner, but as someone who could genuinely connect with Steve."

You raise an eyebrow. "You really think we'd be well-suited?"

"I do," Pepper says with confidence and warmth.

You rub your ring finger again, but this time you see Pepper’s eyes drop to watch your unconscious action, and you quickly stop. Her eyes, when you meet them again, are full of sympathy. You both lost husbands, but you don’t want to talk about it, yet again, and you don’t want to bring up a painful subject for her either.

She can read that in your tight-lipped smile.

So instead she says, “I can give you three days to think it over.”

You sigh and rise from your seat to go. “I don’t know if that’s long enough, but if you give me three days or three weeks, I don’t think it will change my decision I’ll land on. Give me the night to sleep on it. I think I’ll know by tomorrow morning.”

[JUNE 4 - Brooklyn, New York]

Three weeks later, your life has been packed up and put in a truck on its way to the new brownstone in Brooklyn that’s been acquired for you and Steve to move into, and you’re sitting at a table in a café a few blocks away, waiting to meet your future husband for the first time over breakfast. Every time the bell rings over the door, you dart your head to see if it’s him, but he’s evidently running late.

As you wait, checking to see if you have any messages on your phone, the bell over the door chimes once more. This time, when you look up, your breath catches in your throat. A tall, athletic man with dark skin and an easy smile has entered the café. You recognize him immediately as Sam Wilson, the new Captain America. Your heart sinks a little as you realize Steve isn't with him.

Sam spots you and makes his way over, his stride confident but casual. As he approaches, you notice the way his eyes scan the room, a habit born from years of military training and superhero work. He's dressed in civilian clothes - a leather jacket over a simple t-shirt and jeans - but there's no mistaking the aura of strength and capability that surrounds him.

"You must be the future Mrs. Rogers," Sam says with a warm smile, extending his hand. "I'm Sam Wilson. Steve asked me to come apologize and explain - and to have breakfast with you, if you’ll have me.”

You nod, forcing a smile, and shake his hand. "Of course. I understand.” You motion toward the chair across the table from you, inviting him to sit. “I know campaign prep must keep him incredibly busy."

Ever since you’d accepted the proposition to marry Steve Rogers and join him on the campaign trail to the White House, your own life had turned upside down, giving you hardly any time to breathe, and you’d been told this was only a mild version of what your own schedule was going to look like once Steve formally announced.

“Former President Bartlet agreed to meet with him, and the schedules ended up aligning this morning for Steve to go up to New Hampshire for a sit down,” Sam explains.

“President Bartlet?” you can’t help the awe in your voice. “I’d skip out on breakfast with me, too.”

“I hope I’m not a disappointment of a substitute,” Sam teases. “Since we’ll be working together as part of the senior staff, I volunteered because I was eager to finally meet you.”

His smile is genuine, and you feel the absolute truth of his sentiment. It melts away some of your disappointment and worry.

In return, your smile becomes a little warmer and easier. “I can’t help being a little disappointed - since I was hoping to finally meet my future husband - but he’s unemployed and you’re technically Captain America, so I guess it’s really an upgrade.”

Sam laughs. “Oh, I’m going to love you, I can tell.”

“Just promise me he’ll actually be at the ceremony tomorrow?” you ask. Your tone is light, but Sam calls your bluff.

His laughter fades, replaced by a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, he'll be there. Wild horses couldn't keep him away. Or androids. Or aliens. Or wizards. Or..." He trails off, realizing he might be overdoing it. "You get the idea."

You nod, appreciating Sam's attempt at humor. "I hope so. It would be pretty awkward to explain to the press why the groom was a no-show at his own wedding."

"Trust me, Steve takes this very seriously," Sam says, his tone becoming more earnest. "He may not know you yet, but he respects you and the commitment you're making. He's not the type to back out or let you down."

You nod, feeling a mix of relief and nervousness. "I suppose I should get used to schedule changes and last-minute adjustments," you say, trying to keep your tone light.

"It's part of the package," Sam agrees. "But so is having a team of people who have your back, no matter what." He leans forward, his eyes meeting yours intently. "I want you to know that includes me. We're not just colleagues in this; we're family."

His words touch you deeply, and you feel a bloom of warmth in your chest, the firs time you’ve felt grounded since you agreed to do this. "Thank you, Sam," you manage to say. "That means a lot."

The waitress approaches, he orders coffee, and you both order breakfast.

As she walks away, you take a sip of the drink you’d ordered while you were waiting before, mulling over Sam's words. "Can I ask you something, Sam? You know Steve better than almost anyone. Do you think...?”

You hesitate, uncertain if you should voice your doubts to Sam. But his open, friendly demeanor encourages you to continue, and you’re going to need to learn to trust this new circle of people you’ll be surrounded with.

"Do you think this is crazy?" you finally ask, your voice barely above a whisper. "Marrying someone I've never even met, maybe becoming First Lady... it all feels so surreal."

Sam leans back in his chair, considering your question carefully. "Crazy? Maybe," he admits with a small smile. "But then again, I've seen a lot of crazy things in my time with the Avengers. This? This actually feels like one of the more normal things I've been part of."

You can't help but chuckle at that, some of the tension easing from your shoulders.

"Look," Sam continues, his tone becoming more serious. "I won't lie to you. It's not going to be easy. The scrutiny, the pressure, the constant demands on your time and energy - it's going to be a lot. But if anyone can handle it, it's Steve. And from what I've heard about you, I think you're up for the challenge, too."

Sam pauses as the waitress returns with your breakfasts and his coffee. Once she's gone, he continues, "Steve doesn't do anything halfway. When he commits to something, he's all in. And he's committed to this - to you, to this campaign, to trying to make a real difference."

You nod, appreciating his honesty. "And what about... us? Steve and me, I mean. Do you think we can make this work? Not just for the campaign, but as a real partnership?"

Sam's eyes soften. "Steve's one of the best men I know. He's loyal, compassionate, and has a moral compass that doesn't quit. But he's also been through a lot, and he can be... guarded. It might take some time for him to open up fully."

You absorb this information, feeling a mix of apprehension and curiosity about your future husband. "I appreciate your honesty, Sam," you say softly. "I guess we'll both be navigating uncharted waters."

Sam nods, taking a sip of his coffee before responding. "True, but you won't be doing it alone. Not only do you have the support of the team, but I think you and Steve might surprise yourselves. You both have a strong sense of purpose, a desire to help others. That's a solid foundation to build on."

You pick at your breakfast, mulling over Sam's words. "I just hope we can find some common ground beyond the campaign," you admit.

Sam leans in, his expression earnest. "Like I said, when Steve commits to something, he gives it his all. That includes relationships. He may be reserved at first, but once he lets you in, you'll have his unwavering loyalty and support."

You nod, feeling a bit more reassured. "I appreciate that. I’m not some hopeless romantic, I’m not looking to be swept off my feet, but I just hope we can find some chemistry, some spark beyond just being political partners."

Sam chuckles. "Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about that. Steve might be from the 1940s, but he's still a red-blooded man. And you," he gestures at you with his fork, "are definitely his type."

You feel your cheeks flush slightly. "His type?"

"Smart, independent, passionate about making a difference," Sam lists off. “

Your work in non-profits, your passion for social justice - that's right up Steve's alley. Plus, you've got that whole 'take no crap' vibe that he needs. I have a sense about these things, and you have it.”

You laugh, feeling some of the tension dissipate. "Well, I'll take your word for it. Though I have to admit, the idea of being Steve Rogers' 'type' is a bit surreal."

Sam grins. "Trust me, once you two actually meet, you'll see what I mean. Just don't let that 'aw shucks' routine fool you. He might look like an all-American boy scout, but there's a lot more going on under the surface."

You raise an eyebrow. "Oh? Do tell."

Sam shakes his head, still smiling. "Nah, I'll let you discover that for yourself. Where's the fun if I spoil all the surprises?"

You roll your eyes good-naturedly. "Fine, keep your secrets. But seriously, Sam, thank you. For breakfast, for the pep talk, for everything. I'm really glad I got to meet you before tomorrow."

"Me too," Sam says, raising his coffee mug in a mock toast. "To new beginnings and unexpected partnerships."

You clink your own mug against his, feeling a surge of warmth and camaraderie. As you finish your breakfast, the conversation flows easily between you and Sam. He regales you with stories of his adventures with Steve, carefully omitting any classified details but painting a vivid picture of the man you're about to marry.

You learn about Steve's dry sense of humor, his unwavering loyalty to his friends, and his surprising skill at sketching. Sam describes missions where Steve's quick thinking saved the day, but also quieter moments - movie nights with the team, intense debates over board games, and Steve's ongoing struggle to catch up on pop culture.

As Sam talks, you find yourself leaning in, captivated by these glimpses of reality, getting to know more about the man behind the myth. And even if the next twenty-four hours will be a whirlwind of you choosing and getting fitted for your wedding dress; interviewing candidates that have been vetted for your personal staff - assistant, pr strategist, stylist, initiative director; and a bachelorette party; you feel like you’ll be able to face it all with the bit of reassurance you’ve gained by spending this time with Sam.

next part: LAS VEGAS & CLEVELAND

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

This story will have 3-4 chapters, depending on where I split up the narrative. I anticipate about a chapter a week, usually posted on Fridays.

[cherrysurf]

Tall blonde and evil! | Katsuki Bakugo x f!reader

chapter 9; cupcake with kids interview

After the bringing in the new year with a good party and a winning trophy life was good. You and bakugou were getting along, the public saw him in a new light, maybe very minor rumors of you having a crush on him but the public will always talk. The nice couple day break you had was amazing, you had finally caught up on sleep and your favorite shows spent more time with your cat, got new clothes for the new year and even got a new year's gift from bakugou. The only bad part to this all was—

You're new found crush on him, you found out a couple days after the ceremony it happened when you couldn’t stop thinking about him and felt empty when you were out doing something with him whether it be work or not, maybe the public was right. But you’d never tell a soul that this was embarrassing as it is the one thing you didn’t want to happen but the thing was you didn’t fall for bakugou because of his looks like every other person did, You fell for him because of the new found person you started seeing in him “the real” him as you call it him being nice and gifting you things didn’t help the emotions either it just added more fuel to the fire.

Today you and him had to head out to an interview for the new youtube channel where celebrities come and bake cupcakes with kids, were the kids ask them questions about their up and coming projects and small things about their life you were quite nervous because you know bakugou can have a bit of a temper when people ask the wrong questions it really didn’t matter who they are—

So as you two arrive on set and you see bakugou get run up on by a bunch of little kids screaming his name and telling him how cool he is, instead of him getting mad at them he’s actually laughing and thanking them. The shock that it gave you was not planned at all but it was so sweet seeing him being polite to all of them and responding to all there questions, when it came time to film it was like a switch had flipped bakugou was more talkative,attentive to make sure none of the kids got hurtr and the cupcakes didn’t get messed up. Maybe a few minor funny arguments with the kids over the dumbest thing but it was nice seeing him being so kind. The kids asked great questions and Bakugou gave them amazing advice to pursue their dreams. This only made your heart well out of the amount of kindness and adoration for him you didn’t care about right now though you were just enjoying the moment seeing him like this, something that was new to you entirely.

bakugou deciding to keep his “nice” streak going invited you out to lunch after the interview he picked out the place since he doesn’t trust your food options after he found out you don’t have proper meals sometimes “you know bakugou those kids seem to really admire you” you tease “i hope so, i try to be a good role model” he says “you’ve been doing good the start of this new year” you continue on “i guess you have been too” he says quietly, saying nice things wasn’t exactly bakugou's forte he struggled with it since he was a kid, but he’s been trying he says it’s because of new years goals but you don’t know if that’s for certain sometimes when you think you knew bakugou he’d turn around and surprise you with something completely brand new so it was hard to keep up but you did, or tried….

“hey i’m going on vacation so, you’ll have a break for a week or two” he adds “cool thanks for letting me know” you say shocked he didn’t say anything before “surprised you’re not asking me for what” he says “well i guess after you asked me to set up a dinner for you and your mom because she was visiting town i refrained asking questions like that again.” you say looking down at your food “smart.” he adds, which you nod at— how did the conversation go from casual to awkward in mere seconds you think to yourself. Lunch ended and he dropped you off. Thing was now that you felt a total shift in your dynamic with him it was weird you couldn’t explain what it was or what it meant it was just something unexplainable right now, just like your feelings.

taglist; @kalulakunundrum @sweetadonisbutbetter @rednicotine @ikissfade @bakugouswh0r3 @allurearia @themultifandomgirl @junehasnotbeenfound @darhinadadragon @kodzubaby @harryzcherry @sahrii @kholethecutie @s4ikooo1 @babylambdietcoke @lover-no-lover61 @sikuthealien @homeless-clown @bookaholicfangirl4life @idexmids

[therandompagesblog]

Hunting Your Soul Chapter 6 🫀Y/N🫀

Trigger Warnings: Stalking, manipulation, self pleasure, orgasm

Could a stalker be seen as sweet? Caring? Attentive? Or, were these things I imagined as the days went on? Chan's nature had changed. He was filled less with riddles and more with statements. Statements of truth. He was going to take me. I knew that much. I knew I was going to be turned into a monster that lived in the darkness. When, was my question, but he never answered. Chan always answered my other questions. My questions about his feelings toward me. They were vague yet unexplainable. He always referred to me as his. That I was meant to be his. That my heart was his. It was an animalistic description. One that frightened me but didn't. Every time I was frightened or worried he would mask it with care. Kindness. Chan never directly spoke to me. Only through words on a screen. Otherwise, he would shower me with gifts. Flowers, pyjamas, iced cinnamon buns. It was a generational romance. Texting. Never to be seen. I hated it. I hated the waiting game. I wanted to see him. I wanted to see what he looked like. I wanted to see his cold gaze, pressing into me. I wanted him to consume me. Feed off me. They were stupid desires. Reckless even. They were thoughts and feelings I gained over the course of three days. Three pitiful days and I was craving him. The only nuisance was he slept during the day. It was Inconvenient for me and I wanted him to know that. I wanted him to pay for it. Pay for the ways he was making me feel. I wanted to play his game. Me: I want to hear your voice. Chan: If you're a good little flower for me. I will. Me: Fine. I'll suffer then. Chan: Careful with that attitude. I have to work today. Be patient.

I rolled my eyes in frustration hitting the bed. I was annoyed at myself. At him for making me feel this way. I should feel sickened, but I wasn't. Chan gave me no reason to. The only thing he did was text, call or watch. He wasn't really stalking either. He was too quiet to be a stalker. Too quiet. Too careful. He was harmless in the eyes of the law. A report would do nothing to him. He was untraceable. He wasn't even real. If I did report him, the police would tell me they could not do anything until something happened. Until the harassment escalated. I could report his number, but all Chan would have to do was get another and he would still keep texting. Calling. But if he was a monster, then he was invincible. He was deadly. Very deadly. And right now that was hot. And I was hormonally hot. It was despicable yet erotic to have a watcher. It was something that kept my mind preoccupied as I started to have sick fantasies. Fantasies about his deep voice. The voice that burned into my soul. Fantasies of his touch and the way he would feel. It was already a catastrophic downfall. I was damned for him and I did not care. I did not care in the way I wanted him to suffer too. I wanted him to feel my frustration at his lack of communication. His lack of verbal communication. His lack of physical communication. His–his lack of presence. I shuddered at the thought of meeting him soon. My body shivered at the thought of his face. His touch. I wondered more about his musky smell. I wanted to smell him again. Throwing my head back with a sigh. I closed my eyes, thinking about faceless hands. Touching me. Guiding me softly. I wondered if the monster had fangs or claws. Or both. Would they cut into my body deep or scratch the surface? My body was starting to get hot as I thought about the blank kisses trailing across my skin. An irrational thought crept across my mind. I wanted to phone him. Force him to listen to my arousal like he forced my emotions to yearn for him. It was a sick and twisted idea but my hormones were everywhere, and considering he stole my tampons. A little moan was the icing on a sweet cinnamon bun. My hand found its way into my trousers. Slowly touching myself as I felt my body getting hotter. I reached for my bedside to grab my silicone vibrator and turned it on. I allowed the vibrating sensations to toy against my clothed folds. My back arched as I pressed harder against my clothed clit, thrashing. I stopped. Smirking to myself as I looked at my reflection. I took my clothes off and spread myself open. Open for him. A stranger. I pressed the toy against my clit. Circling slowly as my hand reached for my phone. I slid the toy across my folds. Then back up to my sensitive bud. I thrashed. Whimpering away. I looked at my phone. Clicking on Chan's number. His phone went straight to voicemail. The beep sent my devious arousal into new heights. "Chan... Ch-chan." I whimpered loudly. Louder than I normally would. I clicked the button. Speeding it up as I arched myself. Allowing the state of bliss to watch over me. Then it came. The dread. The fear. I fucked up. I incredibly fucked up. I could feel it deep within my warm bones as I waited for him.

18+ Taglist for those who are not turning back

@catlove83 @itsyourleilei @whatudowhennooneseesyou @leeknot @estella-novella @fackeraccount @eastjonowhere @cocofia143 @jennibahng @noerinspace @sleepingmissingprincess @ye0lkkot @hiitsmebbygrl16 @shhimhereforsmut @jaeminie-cricket @stayceebs97 @ritiiiiiii @chlodavids @beautystarry @hyunjinhoexxx @hash2013 @jeonginontopforever @catnipchannie @kaqua @fairy-lixie @myflowercloud @galaxy4489 @velvetmoonlght