#but it's a part of meeeee

[heavyheavycream]

PART 1 of @pokefan-fa 's huuge feederism commission!

[crashnbrn]

THE NEW SEVERANCE SEASON 2 INTRO!!!

[macaroni-stars]

So it turns out I DID have it in me for a fully coloured animation :D

(rough version here)

[verstappentime]

From there, there's several more hospital pictures. Max can't picture sharing something so private. It seems like people are following along, though; all the posts have likes in the 5-figures.

There's several where he's just sitting up in bed, and a few of his leg, clearly badly injured: In a sling, in a full cast, in one of those traction things. One gruesome picture of pins in his ankle. He loves emojis, especially the kissy face one. He's upbeat most of the time, but Max can tell when things must have been really bad.

max/charles, 1.3k. it's 2017 and max finds out why he stopped hearing about charles leclerc. (part one?)

Max hasn't thought about Charles in a long time.

He's thought about him in the abstract, whenever he's coming out to someone new, saying, "Oh, her? I would not know, I'm gay." He's thought about being fourteen and unable to talk to Charles without a little secret smile, one he had to bite down. It's how he knew he liked boys for the first time.

But he left karting, and he went to Florida, and then he went to F3, and then to F1, and he left behind everyone his own age. He sees names he recognizes in F3, F2, but never Charles. He doesn't have time to wonder about it.

When he sees the Instagram post, he feels like a bird smacking into a glass window.

premateam 🚨 DRIVER ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨 Welcoming our 2017 F3 driver, Charles Leclerc. We always knew you'd be back, and we would be waiting. ❤️

Charles has done his hair short. He's grinning in the photo, flushed with happiness, leaning against a car with the number 16 plastered on. He's older, leaner. He's handsome.

charles_leclerc SURPRISEEEE! 😘 Better late than never. Three years ago I was learning to walk again. Today back in a single seater for the first time. Never give up ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for the opportunity @premateam

Max's pulse is thumping. Charles, who changed his life and never knew it. What happened to him?

He goes to the previous post. It's from a week ago: a picture of a crash helmet, red with stripes going up and over the top, white and a different shade of red.

charles_leclerc Dusting her off!!!! 🤫 Still fits 😝

He feels like he's missing way too much. He scrolls down rapidly, until the pictures start to wane in quality, probably taken on an older phone.

He clicks into one from 2015; Charles, in a hospital bed with a breathing tube in. He's younger, more like Max remembers him. He looks tiny. It twists something in Max's gut.

He swipes to the next one in the carousel; it's Charles sitting up in bed, dressed in a hospital gown, giving the camera a thumbs up. The third and final bit of the post is a video, Charles doing what looks like some sort of breathing treatment and waving to the person filming with a wink.

charles_leclerc Past week has been crazy… After seeing my car I'm just feeling lucky to be here… Thank you for all the support. Trying to get home soon, hard at work. Love to everyone ❤️❤️❤️

From there, there's several more hospital pictures. Max can't picture sharing something so private. It seems like people are following along, though; all the posts have likes in the 5-figures.

There's several where he's just sitting up in bed, and a few of his leg, clearly badly injured: In a sling, in a full cast, in one of those traction things. One gruesome picture of pins in his ankle. He loves emojis, especially the kissy face one. He's upbeat most of the time, but Max can tell when things must have been really bad.

charles_leclerc Goodbyeeee chest tube! You are not my friend anymore. One day at a time :) Means I get to go back to Monaco, can't wait 🇲🇨🇲🇨🇲🇨

charles_leclerc New hospital & new hardware in femur ✅✅✅ This one hurts can't lie!!! On my way to a new leg though, so good news

charles_leclerc Hard week, bored. Surgery #5️⃣ tomorrow

charles_leclerc Gross right??? Robot Charles incoming

charles_leclerc Got to shower and wash my hair todaaay how does everyone think I look??

charles_leclerc Was supposed to go home this week but infection means I have to stay 👎🏼 👎🏼 Thanks to my brothers for brightening up my room though. @arthurleclerc good luck this weekend 😘

charles_leclerc Surgery #9, maybe the last one! Is that a lucky number??

Max isn't sure what his heart is doing. Twisting, maybe. Charles looks thin and pale in most of the pictures. They're dated weeks apart. He must've been in the hospital an age. Charles had only admitted that he was in pain once, but it had to have been– God. Fucking awful.

Max hasn't seen him since he was 14, but Charles was always kind to him. Sweet. Funny. He was angry when he lost, but only for a little while; he was back and offering to help Max load up his kart within a few hours, rattling on about what he did wrong and how it would never happen again. Usually, it didn't. He smiled like the sun when he won.

Max hurts for him. He should be in F1 by now.

In one post, Charles has taken a picture of a race he's watching on TV. He would have seen Max. He was a few hours away, on the track in Imola, and Charles was in Monaco, in the hospital. It's strange. They've been in the same world the whole time.

Max can't help smiling at his phone when he scrolls to Charles going home. He's in a wheelchair; he's in a different cast, starting under the knee. The next post in the carousel, he's in the wheelchair, reaching up to hug his little brother, who Max has met a couple times.

charles_leclerc Home 🏠 ❤️❤️‍🥰 So happy. Thanks to everyone who sent me nice thingsss got to open it all today :)

The next post is a video; Max ticks on the volume to watch. He recognizes some of the likes – one's Daniel.

The caption says "BEST DAY!!! Four months later!!! Feels like I won a world championship:)" It's an edit, set to 'Rise Up,' which is unbearably corny, but Max has lost God knows how much time catching up on the past two and a half years, and he's not going to miss a win.

The video starts with a clip from the day of his crash; then the clips Max has seen before, of him smiling at the camera; one of him sitting up in bed, hooked up to oxygen with a kind-looking nurse supporting his back, talking to him quietly; a couple of him with a surgical cap on, one where he's clearly hazy.

The video's longer than a minute, so Charles has split it into two parts. Max swipes to the next one.

This one starts with the music is turned down and the raw sound is dialed up. Charles is sitting on the edge of a bed, a nurse supporting him under both armpits and helping him stand. He's grinning right at the person filming; from behind the phone, a man says something in enthusiastic French.

Max's breath catches when Charles comes into the frame, navigating the hospital and then his house with a walking frame – he has some sort of brace on his knee and a walking cast on. There's some where he's gritting his teeth, some where he's smiling. Max isn't sure if he's playing to the camera. It has to hurt. Max doesn't need to know French to know how fucking happy everyone is to see him doing it.

They're getting to the end part of the song, where the lady's singing I'll rise up, for you, and all that. It should be silly, but Max doesn't care. It's good. It's good.

He hasn't even gotten to the best part.

In the last clip, Charles, tentatively, someone spotting him from behind, is walking, still with a heavy brace supporting his bad leg, but by himself.

Max hasn't seen him in three years, but he wants to hug him so badly. He's not sure they've ever done that before. It's better, still, knowing he's going to drive again. He did drive again. If Max cried more, he might now.

Max feels like he's got tunnel vision. This separate life, this place where their stories diverged; he never got to be a part of it, and he feels– weirdly bereft. He never knew Charles beyond their on-track friendship, but there's a strange sense of sadness. There's this nagging thought, I should have been there. He wants to know everything.

He finally lets Instagram lie and Googles Charles Leclerc crash.

[capitalisticveins]

BLACK ANGEL DEF HAS BRAIDS BUT I CANT FUCKING DRAW BRAIDS AND I DONT HAVE BRAID BRUSHES SO THEYRE STUCK WITTH THE SAME FUCKING PUFFY HAIR AND IT HAS NO VARIETY😭😭😭

[ganondoodle]

Sorry ab the shitty English translations/localizations, it's bc they think that Americans won't get it otherwise (bc when we act stupid, we act REALLY stupid), our bad 💀

[unadulteratedloathings]

Batter up, baby!

[whump-queen]

Silver

tags: forced intox, manhandling, "servant" whump but lets be honest he's basically a pet

-----------

Seven could smell the sharp sting of tequilia on Wes’ breath before he even saw the bottle.  

“Open up, servant.” Wes smiled and leaned in, forcing the stench further into Seven’s face, making him nearly gag at what he knew was coming. God he could already taste it. 

Seven tried to pull away, but a heavy hand found the back of his neck and harshly gripped his hair, holding him fast while the other hand messily shoved the bottle of silver upward and forced it past Seven’s lips. 

Seven knew not to struggle. He how to close his nose without plugging it by now. He’d hold his breath. He’d hold his—fuck. It burned in his empty stomach instantly. 

Considering all the occasions Wes had forced his servant to drink, Seven should’ve been an expert at this. But experience didn’t mean his nights went without mishap, and just because he knew how to drink it down for a few sips, it didn’t mean Wes would let up this time, forcing him to take gulp after excruciating fiery gulp until his mind was screaming for oxygen and for the poison to stop. Just stop. 

He could feel hot tears running down his face. He needed to breathe. It took everything in him to swallow and not fucking wretch as soon as Wes yanked the bottle away. Oxygen hit his lungs and he gasped for breath until he felt lightheaded.

“Can’t waste it all on a fucking servant,” Wes sneered, releasing his fingers from Seven’s hair, roughly tousling it instead. The force of his hand made the room spin and Seven could already feel it hitting him. Burning away deep his stomach and making his face feel hot and tingly. 

Wes turned away and Seven instantly grasped the wall, taking a few agonizing deep breaths, just trying so hard not to throw up. 

He’d done that before. On a night much like this one, and Wes had made him clean it all up while still nearly blacked out, promising that the next time, he’d clean it with his tongue. 

So Seven braced himself against the wall and tried to focus on his breath. He inhaled. God fuck. He exhaled. Fuck. He was going to gag.

Water.

He needed water.

This was going to be a long night. 

.

read next

series masterlist

[middle-earth-mythopoeia]

Honestly not surprising

[hyunfelix]

that one move in serenade 🕺

[mellorsmellorr]

My scott pilgrim comics came today! :D

Anyways I noticed the resemblance with this iconic song and HAD to do a side by side comparison with the comic + movie

[essektheylyss]

Finally got around to listening to Unend "Hollow" and there's plenty to say that I'm sure has been said but all I personally have to say is: Dot gray-ace freakout? Gray-ace freakout??? For me???

[51-queer-frogs]

World hasn't ended yet, but maybe the plan with maple keys will work...

It's Eschatron

not gonna lie he was the second one i tried to design. i have re worked him so many goddamn times. so! design break down. The jacket's based on the fallout vault dweller's jacket (from 4 i thinkkkk)

The flower/berries are deadly nightshade, because it's one of my favorite flowers. The gloves are the black gloves you see on hazmat suits. Jeans r bcos i hate jeans, and think they will end the world someday. this is not a bit. the shoe's are normal exempt for the fact that the grips on the bottom leave a nuclear print.

The masks are because i got tired of drawing real faces. also because the image of the anonymous mask just spoke to me. people trying and failing at screwing things up yknow?

[minuspluvea]

part 26

[banyanas]

nothing big, i just greatly enjoy dog-coding-but-not-a-dog N (and i feel it’s a fairly accurate visual for him bc he’s still. a disassembler. he loves his squad and wants to be good but he is certainly not tame as some people would think)

[sideblogdotjpeg]

hello unfortunately i thought even more about sol + swag as an analogy for being asian and it is . making me unwell. i am putting it under the cut for the main reason that it is stupid beyond belief

OK. so. hear me out .

STUPID REASONS WHY SOL IS ASIAN:

(and hint: this is all me projecting 100%)

1) moist frog who immediately turns off when it gets too cold. SOUTHEASTASIAN BOY AS FUCK (to me). guy who thinks thirty degrees celsius is pleasant temperature. guy who thinks that anything below 25C is sweater weather. guy who is soo sweaty and moist all the time (the humidity) and that is not only a natural state, but a preferrable state. 20 degrees is too cold. anything below 0 is actually not functional.

anyway. sol bufo. keepin it warm and gross. if its too cold and dry he immediately hibernates. king

2) idk if anyone reading this has seen shaolin soccer. but sol bufo. could clump shaolin soccer. essentially what im saying is sol bufo is like a buff asian jock. which is kinda goofy and goodnatured and loud and also very obnoxious. i cannot articulate this very well. but. what can i say except a human version of sol bufo was delivered to me in a dream and it was every buff chinese classmate ive ever met.

3) (you will notice the reasons get progressively more stupid and more deeply specific)

sol bufo would love milo. omg. like. chocolate drink in a juice box container that is branded as a sports/energy drink and also green. also the guy on the front of the packet milo. sol bufo coded. tbh

anyway. milo isnt strictly southeast asian..? but. yes it is actually.

4) the whole monk class is extremely steeped in asian 'aesthetics' anyway. i mean. ki. so whatever i can claim this monk for me thats my right

NONSTUPID BUT STILL KIND OF SILLY REASONS:

and this is also me projecting 100%. obviously all delusion. so i guess see this as a for-fun reading of the sol/swag storyline through the lens of a very specific of asianness

okay so. swag right. his journey is about leaving his home where he was comfortable and safe but also very confined. mothership lures him to ezry w the promise of opportunity & seeing the world, making something of himself. he ends up being exploited for his body and skills. and he runs away, but his blood still oils up the mothership cogs.

so anyway. i think its pretty clear how that cld map onto like . an immigrant experience? leaving home because of the need to find urself, but simultaneously, the threat of exploitation at the hands of ppl who see you as a potential profit to be mined. this is the first part

the part that is more crazy to me is his experience in irondeep. like, when he left moonstone he left his entire community. now hes alone ... and he cant go back. (he is stranded physically, emotionally). and at this low point, of true and utter loneliness and purposelessness, comes along bronzebeard industries. they offer him a job - but more importantly, they offer him connections.

like. thinking about how were introduced to swag. its not at his job, its his downtime, its when hes hanging out with his coworkers, when hes surrounded by 'friends'. w people who think hes cool, and the people who think hes a "sucker".

idk! but i think this also relates rlly strongly to a common experience of being international? like. when you know you are permenantly lost from home. what you want more than anything is to feel the same community and sense of belonging you used to have. and it is very easy for that desire to ge manipulated. (like - im just gonna mention the one specific instance that ive seen. which is like. international students on college campuses getting targeted a lot by christian groups. because they know those people are lonely and want a feeling of shared tradition and practice. anyway. this is one specific example but also this is literally what happens to lyddie and sister rosaline :-| )

anyway so in summary: swags story of hope/idealism, exploitation, and loneliness leading him to be a very good pawn. i think that is something that could potentially be read as the experiences of ppl dislocated internationally from their home. and im saying its asian because I Want To.

... and sol! okay. i think very simply: sol is super white-washed. total banana. and thats part of his character. he is a moonstone bullywug who never knew his own home, and still, has never even seen moonstone with his own eyes. he does not know his own history. (and kinda tangent, the place where he spends the majority of his life is in launchpad, a sanitized corporate version of reality. and i mean, the whole 'boy wizard and frog pal' is very clearly alluding to harry potter. like. its white.) but ignoring that, the essence of his character is like. this is a guy who does not know where he came from

and currently? a large part of his arc is about trying to unravel his identity by figuring out where (who) he came from. swag daniels is his one link to a community hes just now found out he has. that is a part of why hes trying so hard to save swag. swag is his family - specifically the parts about family you cant choose. that is hard, complicated and how you understand where the parts of yourself track back to.

like. i think a lot about how the pivotal moments of connection between swag and sol are all about swag... showing sol what moonstone is like. in a dream, he lets sol experience what that place is like. that place is a muggy swamp. idk. swag is taking sol back home. that fucks me up a lot

... anyway digression aside. i think one of the most painful things gg on rn w sols arc rn is. how its looking right now. sol is going to lose swag. sol is going to have to come to terms w losing swag. sol for the first time, yearns to know who he is and who he came from. but by the time he went looking it was too late. his time is up. that moment of connection was brief and gone. there are so many questions about their history that sol will never know now

so obviously this kind of dips a bit into metaphor at the end. swag represents connection to cultural history and heritage and identity. and in that lens, it reads to ME as a story abt being asian and disconnected from ur roots. but anyway. even without that lens i think sols story is still v much abt cultural estrangement

(i also have a very loose and unformed thought: which is that sols journey from wanting to stand out/be special to wanting to find a place of belonging. is ALSO INCREDIBLY RESONANT to the experience of being whitewashed asian... ESPECIALLY for ppl who do come from asia. and how that also relates to the tragedy of wanting to understand ur roots when its already too late. but . i dont rlly know if that is a common experience so. itll be noodling in my head for now)

anyway. my essay. and yes this is all make believe in my head . TLDR: i think swags an immigrant sols a banana and i am fucking insane thanks everyone

also if u read this all and want to know what part of this long ramble actly answers the question of why i think theyre asian. well. you know what.