#but it’s me with a giant sign saying I’m Jewish and have an innocent interest in Prussia

[kralmajales]

So annoying that I cannot read the book I’m reading in public because of the cover……..

[theonceoverthinker]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: Top Ten Season 1 Songs

Welcome back to the third of my eight list discussing the various numbers of Crazy-Ex Girlfriend. As I’m sure you know by the title, today, I’m covering the best of Season 1!

This was a damn near IMPOSSIBLE list to make. Seasons 1 and 3 are stuffed to the brim with not only good musical numbers, but GREAT musical numbers! Many of these songs are classic staples that are to this day celebrated as the best of the series and cutting down my top picks into ten entries was anything but easy. 

Now, if you’ve seen my past lists, you’ll know that bit songs (Songs that clock in at or below one minute and fifteen seconds) as well as reprises and theme songs are ineligible because they have lists of their own. No, this list is celebrating the meatiest of meat songs!

So let’s get to it!

10. Cold Showers

I know that this isn’t exactly the most popular song choice, nor is it really as character-infused as other numbers, but hey, it’s number 10 for a reason. I love this number. “Trouble” from the Music Man is one of my favorite show tunes from that time period and this song acts as a great homage to it. You see the absurd reaches that Rebecca goes for with just a lack of hot water to go on. And because of that, here we get to see the charisma that makes Rebecca such a good lawyer on full display. While she’s great at creating awkward situations, she also knows what makes people ticks and just how to exploit those fears. And we get to see all three major parties of the Whitefeather Law Office working together. We see just how good of a team they are and how well Daryl and Paula support Rebecca’s talents, showing how Daryl managed to own his own law firm and foreshadowing Paula’s desire to be a lawyer. Additionally, I love high energy songs and this song has a stellar rhythm that chugs along and builds all the way to the ending! It’s like being at a New Years Eve party and you’re seeing all of the energy circulating as people watch the ball drop! Overall, this is just a fun number that allows for some cute character moments and fun dynamics, and that’s why I love it!

9. After Everything I’ve Done For You (That You Didn’t Ask For)

Paula might just be my favorite character in the series, and when she gets a phenomenal number, she knocks it out of the frack-a-lacking park! And here, getting the last main character number of the season, she leaves the season on a memorable as heck! I love numbers that allow Paula to just BELT. Donna has a chest-heavy voice like myself and Gabrielle and when she gets to do that, her songs go from good to great! Okay, but I can go on about the singing forever, so let’s talk about the number. All season, we’ve been building towards this flip of the perception of craziness between our two female leads. While Rebecca’s been learning more about herself and the world, connecting with Greg, and realizing the harm she’s doing to both Josh and Valencia, Paula...hasn’t. She hasn’t had that level of growth and instead of distancing herself from Rebecca’s love life, she’s infused her identity with it and her perceived “right guy.” And here, that all comes to a head. Just as Rebecca seems on the verge of her own real stride towards reciprocated romance and happiness, Paula’s blasts at her with displays of insanity. We are freaked out -- though on some level, unsurprised by the increasingly absurd lengths Paula’s gone to to push Rebecca and Josh closer together, so much so that Rebecca becomes less of a friend to her as something of a reality TV star. Because of that, the song homage to “Rose’s Turn” hits its bulls-eye so well and to this day remains as a striking number in the series that I love!

8. West Covina

West Covina is a straight up spectacle! From the visual gags (My personal favorite of which is the “Josh” sign from right before she leaves New York) to the giant group number to the funny lyrics, how could this NOT make the list? Just like Rebecca’s journey, there’s more nuance to the song as a whole. First, musically, I love how the song builds up. We hear the music build from light orchestrations to light woodwinds to a swelling band! Second, just as the music builds up, we see the company grow from just Rebecca to bits of the people she encounters along the way to the band and finally, to everyone she encountered in the number. Third, the song is just funny. The deep denial Rebecca digs herself into is complemented marvelously by the visual gags and her non-substantive interactions with the people of West Covina. It’s hilarious seeing how Rebecca romanticizes an initially mundane if not a little gross town, producing magic out of insurance signs and anime wigs! You can tell that it’s a stretch, but one that’s not too hard and shows that just as much as moving to West Covina was a poorly thought out idea, it was also a necessary change that benefits Rebecca in some ways from the moment she arrives here. Finally, while I can’t say for sure if the creators knew how important pretzels would be towards the end of Rebecca’s journey, the benefit of hindsight gives this scene a retroactive bit of foreshadowing that’s really awesome, on top of it already being a random, but not nonsensical set piece! I don’t even think you need me to explain this number any further. You know that it attracted your eyes to this show like a fly to a lamp: It sure did it for me! But thankfully, there’s so much more substance to it that made this number a permanent classic of the series!

7. JAP Battle

I grew up in a very Jewish community. Because of that, I got literally every joke that was made and they made me laugh hard! But referential jokes aren’t enough to make a list and here, they’re just the toppings of a stellar number! And thankfully, I feel like the references don’t have to be fully understood in order for those not acquainted as strongly with Jewish communities, which makes the number more accessible. I discussed in my top reprises how the JAP Battle reprise showed a more positive outlook on Rebecca and Audra’s frenemyship, but that’s only as strong a point as it is because this was the song that it mirrored. The vehement frustration and one upping that these two spend the song doing is so childish and petty, but hilarious in its execution. It sucks you right into their rivalry.  There’s also some great visual components here. Just like the rap numbers of the 80′s and 90′s, there is this low quality aspect layered onto what the camera captured, making the number so dynamic and interesting! Additionally, both Rebecca and Audra’s backup dancers add a layer of personality to the number. Daryl, Paula, and Josh are more confused by the references that the rivals are making, but are far more energetic towards Rebecca’s attacks, contrasting Audra’s posse nicely as the more subdued, but knowledgeable group. It builds on the tensions of this case and adds additional characterization to the two teams, especially Audra’s. Finally, there’s just a great rhythm to this number. It’s not stagnant, but there is a consistency as the number progresses through all types of twists and turns, and that’s not always easy to do! This is a great song and has more than earned its place here!

Want to know 6-1? Meet me under the cut!

6. I’m The Villain In My Own Story

Just as Naomi will always be a Camp Kavetcha girl, I will always be a Disney girl! And while there were two numbers that really evoke that good ole Disney feel (This and “One Indescribable Instant”), the visual gags and elaborate witch set piece give this number the ultimate advantage between the two. And who doesn’t love a good villain song? Is the number on the nose? Yes, but in that good way where it’s still entertaining. Okay, let’s talk about the number! First, I like the narrative significance of the song. While maybe a touch too hard on herself, Rebecca’s taking a real step forward as she realizes how she’s gone way too far in her efforts to make Josh fall for her. She’s hurting Valencia --  someone who, while not nice, is a relative innocent in all of this and is someone who loves Josh and has put real effort into their relationship! That kind of storytelling really turns the narrative on its heels in a nuanced way! Second, as I said before, I like the visual gags and set pieces that the number has, particularly the witch’s house. The green and purple lighting really adds to that over-the-top sinister feeling that’s plaguing Rebecca and the cage, cauldron, and shelves in the background only help to make it so striking and funny! And I LOVE the poster that Rebecca’s in the corner of! Third...I don’t know how the show does it, but they have to have some kind of machine where the writers throw in a bunch of songs and it spits out the most spot on parodies and homages. That’s not to diminish or throw shade at the show writers, but to give credit to just how unbelievably talented they are! Like, how did they do this?! The slow and devious melody of the song just steeps itself in all things evil! But honestly, seeing as how this is only number six here, they’re just that good! 

5. Settle For Me

This is probably Greg’s most famous number. It’s certainly the song that comes to mind when I think of him, and I get the feeling I’m not alone here. I still remember the initial ad for this song’s episode and how the lyrics were jumbled in the promo (For admittedly good reason)! But enough about how memorable the number is -- let’s talk about WHY the number is memorable! First, the music. This number is so smooth. The old classical/showtune/sort-of-jazz genre suits Santino so well, gliding us through the song just as Greg glides Rebecca across the dance floor. Second, the lyrics are just plain funny! Unlike a song like “What’ll It Be?” Greg’s self loathing is played for laughs and it really works. The lyrics as well as Santino’s more tongue-and-cheek delivery invites the audience to join in on the joke and see Greg asking Rebecca out so meekly as funny. The bridge especially gets the audience in this perfect state of discomfort where we’re stopped from completely supporting this song despite how nice it sounds and take a step back for a moment to reflect on what we’re listening to and realize that this ship still has a long way to go. And that’s furthered by Rebecca reflecting on how practical Greg is as a choice -- something is still terribly off about them, so we shouldn’t get as swept up in this romance as the nice music asks us to do. It’s at once really good musical work as well as great character work and it’s something to be truly admired! And that’s why this song settles itself at the number 5 spot!

4. Women Gotta Stick Together

Toxic masculinity has really messed us up. In addition to all of the other horrors that women have to go through, it’s also put us in spots where we feel the need to compare ourselves to other females, both positively and negatively. That’s where Valencia comes in. Valencia is a character who has been so clearly molded to be what society perceives the “ideal” woman to be, and this number presents us bluntly with the consequences of that. Even initial attempts at feminism are completely undermined by a desire -- whether conscious or not -- to sabotage each other. The song is so cruel, and like “Settle For Me,” it invites the audience to be a part of the joke while also clearly not condoning the lyrics. The selectivity of Valencia’s views on sisterhood and other women as a whole is so overt as to be absurd. We clearly don’t believe in the lyrics of this song, but Valencia at this point in the series absolutely does -- making this such effective characterization for her. It’s not just Rebecca that got under her skin, but there’s a much deeper layer to how she feels about other women. That makes this such a strong character moment for Valencia, stronger than possibly any other one. Also, I love how Gabrielle gets to use her diaphragm here. Like I mentioned earlier, she has a chest-heavy voice and her best numbers utilize that. It complements the acoustics of this song so well, allowing for this nice balance of voice and instruments! And the lyrics contrast well with the kind of music that female empowerment songs are often sung to! Finally, I love the background jokes in this number. We see that every woman just dampens after Valencia insults them. And remember when Valencia tattled on that one woman whose boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend? If you keep an eye on them for the rest of that extended shot, you see that they’re still fighting about it! Overall, this is just a great number!

3. What’ll It Be?

"What’ll It Be?” does something for me that other Greg songs tend not to -- rather than just list things Greg hates, it contextualizes Greg’s disillusionment with everything in his life -- his distaste West Covina, his self loathing, and his fears for the future. This song presents all you need to know about who Greg is. And honestly, it does more to garner sympathy for Greg than any other number he stars in. The tone of desperation, frustration, and the desire to be able to more inwardly reflect is present throughout the song and is tough to witness, especially considering how Greg nearly escaped, but had to deny himself what he thinks would make him happy. I’m sure we’ve all had these moments where we needed to hold onto some larger part of our lives that we wanted to be rid of...just because that’s what being an adult means. And we ask ourselves if this is going to be the rest of our life and not be able to give a positive answer. I think this number succeeds in showing how we often feel about these moments -- just like this song is a ballad and not an angry number like “I Could If I Wanted To,” we’re not mad at anyone because it’s not really anyone’s specific fault -- it’s just life. Over the course of this song, we get a sense of what he wants out of life just as much as we go over once again what he doesn’t want. This is basically a Disney Princess song sung in the style of a Billy Joel number -- and by virtue of being a New Yorker, I really love Billy Joel! The homage is clear through the musical presentation, the melody, and the sense of melancholy that fills the number. The piano practically invites us to listen to Greg -- as if we were the bartender listening to him. And that’s what it does -- really has the audience listen to who Greg is. And because of that character work, it’s here at number 3!

2. The Sexy Getting Ready Song

Just like “Women Gotta Stick Together,” this song unashamedly presents a detailed picture of what the patriarchy has put women through in search of that “ideal.” I’d say that this is more effective for two reasons. First, it is a LOT more graphic than “Women Gotta Stick Together.” All manner of things that women do for men and the physical pain that’s caused in that endeavor are shown to us. We see “ass blood,” the multitude of hair, makeup, and skin care products that women use, and the difficulty of putting and keeping on spanx. Secondly, we see that contrast between women and men. First, it’s shown through the “let’s see how the guy get ready” joke where Greg is casually sleeping on his couch, showing that contrast between the expectations of women and men. We also see it with the rapper, and I like this more because we get to see this guy’s reactions. From the rapper’s few lines, we can tell that he was someone who overtly oppressed women to at least some degree (Not the worst guy -- he knew one of the ladies he worked with wanted to go to college -- but definitely in need of a perspective change), and when he sees how much women have to go through, he immediately resolves to change his ways. That’s not only funny, but really highlights just how unfair it is for women in this world to look the way that men often want us to look. But let’s talk about the number musically. I love the use of R&B music here. It has this smooth romantic feel to it, which makes the twist of how gross the number gets so funny! And it maintains and embodies that feeling throughout the song. It’s like someone hearing the funniest joke in the world, but still performing a eulogy in a completely appropriate tone. The number itself feels like a champ! And that’s why it’s here!

1. Getting Bi

This song is not just good -- it’s actually revolutionary. It’s a giant middle finger to the mainstream media’s depiction of bisexuality and its very essence fight every bit of how fiction bisexual have been shown for forever. Bi contrast (pun intended), his number is so PROUDLY full of Bi energy! From the costuming (Daryl’s in purple while his background dancers are in pink and blue) to the flag in the background to the very title of the song, this song SHOUTS at the audience that bisexuality is a thing. And not only that but it then proceeds to shoot down every harmful stereotype about bisexual people! It’s so comprehensive, talking about feelings about sex to a lack of confusion about his orientation to decrying slut shaming to blowing up any notion that his bisexuality is in any way a phase! This is basically the unacknowledged anthem for bisexuality! And honestly, sometimes a number is the best because of what it means more than how much I like it...BUT that having been said, I love this song more than any other season 1 number! I love the Huey Lewis and the News feel to it! I love how Daryl has a trumpet and this casual suit! I love the lighting and how it makes me feel like I’m at an 80′s concert! This number is so energetic! There’s some humor to it with Daryl’s uncomfortable co-workers. And you can tell that it’s not a matter of anything like homophobia, but jsut because Daryl’s constantly in the show’s top 5 most extra characters and right now, he’s at an 18 when he needs to come back to a 7. BUT as an audience, we’re having fun with Daryl’s song and want to see it play out! I talked about the presentation, but I did want to discuss the cuts from “our world” to the “abstract theatre space” world. The lines really blur in this number because of the lighting in the office and Daryl’s dance moves. And I like it because it shows how colorful and happy Daryl feels about this revelation. It’s such a spirited and comfortable coming out and it makes the number feel like it’s a big grand party that we’re all invited to! ALSO, it has a pun for a title! Do I need to explain any more? No, I do not!

That’s my top ten list for you! Thoughts? Let me know! This took a lot longer to make, so let’s hope my foray into Season 2 won’t be as long! See you then!