#but it’s hilarious to think Nesta was nice to Feyre when she comes back just because she has her own bed and can sleep properly again

[bookishblazes]

Everyone argues over the hunting and the firewood chopping and the non-vegetable garden but everyone misses the funniest (and possibly the most sisterly) part of the Archerons pre-ACOTAR lives:

These three shared a bed for nearly a decade. All the way through their tweens, teens, and into the early twenties (for Nesta and Elain).

And you just KNOW that there was physical violence every night. I bet Feyre was kicking them for more space and Nesta was stealing the pillow for herself. Elain seems like she hogged the blanket. Like did they rotate spots every so often so someone wasn’t falling off the edge of the bed? I think in ACOWAR Feyre says that they used to huddle for warmth in winter but what about summer? Just a giant sweat puddle?

Anyway everyone misses the absolute comedy of the situation. And honestly, kinda adds to the explanation of why they dislike each other 🤷🏼‍♀️

[danikamariewrites]

Okay sweet!

I cannot get the idea of Elain with a "Scary Guard Dog" Girlfriend out of my head 😂 like an assassin or something (totally inspired by the tik toks)

I've just really been in an Elain mood lately

Scary Girlfriend Privileges

Elain x reader

A/n: I love Elain with scary guard dog gf that has heart eyes for her! I loved writing this and I love writing for Elain I wish more ppl apreciated her

Warnings:

You were one of Azriel’s spies but after an injury that took you far too long to recover from you decided to retire

But retirement didn’t sit well with you

You asked Rhys if there was literally anything else you could do a group you could join to serve the court with

That’s when he introduced you to Nesta who immediately took you in as a Valkyrie

You liked this group of females. They made you stronger and better

Plus it was nice to have friends that you could be close with

You had met most of the IC in the two months since you became a Valkyrie but you had yet to be introduced to the 2nd Archeron sister

You had seen her garden and heard the way everyone talked about her with love and kindness which made you very curious about her

Sitting in the kitchen of the House of Wind with Nesta, Gwyn, and Em you enjoy tea and gossip

You’ve loosened up since leaving the spy days behind. Learning not to be so serious all the time has been nice

Voices floated into the room from down the hall. One was Rhys but you couldn’t place the other female’s voice, Feyre maybe?

When the new guests came into view everything metered away and Elain seemed to glow brightest, like she was meant to be the center of attention

You froze staring at her with wide heart eyes

You were so distracted that when Rhys introduced her to you, you didn’t even hear anything

You just held your hand out and smiled like an idiot as her soft palm embraced yours

Gwyn and Em teased you endlessly about your crush on Elain

When you finally decided to do something about it it was months later

The two of you started hanging out casually just getting to know each other

One night Elain made the first move. She quickly leaned over on the couch and kissed you

When she drew back her face was nervous and unsure. You leaned forward, faces inches apart, whispering, “Can we do that again?”

You spent the rest of the night making out and even cuddled in her bed

Now you’ve been dating for well over a year and it’s hilarious to see you two next to each other

While she wears her pretty pink dresses (which you adore) you wear all black or other dark colors

Elain likes to take you shopping to see if you’ll get out of your comfort zone and you indulge her

She does like when you wear all black when you’re out and about. She’s noticed the oddest thing, people usually give you a wide berth on the street and in stores

Elain has watched males who seem to want to approach her think twice after spotting you and your unforgiving stare and run away

Even on the rare night out she only dances with friends. Strangers used to come up to her all the time which is why she avoided clubs

Elain loves that you’re like her guard dog

You’re mean to others but are a sweetheart to her

Never in a million years would she tell you to stop either

She’s never felt safer than with you. It’s like a new found freedom

[prythiansfavoritefox]

[ Soothe ] for Elucien 🤍

Elain slumped onto her bed, exhausted. It had been a hard day's work of gardening. Her muscles were completely sore. With little else to do in the Night Court, gardening had practically become her daily job. Not like they'd allow her to do anything else. Her request to scry in place of her sister had been denied. They'd rather an emotionally unstable Nesta try than her. It showed what little they thought of her. Bleh.

Elain rubbed her eyes. She been planning on going straight to bed, but how was she going to sleep with all of these sore muscles? So, she made an impulsive decision.

She was exhausted, but she got out of bed and went towards the wraiths' rooms. She knocked on Nuala's door, and within a few moments, her and Cerridwen had appeared beside her like apparitions.

Other people might find them creepy, but they didn't bother Elain very much. She was a literal Seer; she was the weirdo to most people. "Take me to Lucien's house," she said quietly. The wraiths tilted their heads curiously at her. Elain was no fool; she knew the wraiths had been set on her to spy on her, but at least she could befriend them and somewhat gain the advantage. Perhaps in time, their loyalty would be to her and not Rhysand. That would be hilarious. "Are you going to interrogate me, or are you going to do as I say?" Elain asked, a little bite in her voice this time. At her sharp tone, the wraiths linked their arms with hers and the three of them disappeared into the shadows. It wasn't quite like winnowing; no, it was far more uncomfortable. Like melting into the shadows before coming to be again.

"Don't wait up for me," Elain called back at the wraiths, watching them disappear. She walked towards the door to Lucien's house. The whorls of wood on the front were elegant, and Elain could not help but admire the beauty that surrounded everything that had to do with this man. You would never catch him lacking in style.

It was so goddamn attractive.

Before she could knock on the door, Lucien opened it for her. "Elain," he murmured, and Elain squeezed her eyes shut for a moment to control her visceral reaction to the low timbre of his voice. "Lucien," she got out. God, her voice was so breathy; she was doing a terrible job at controlling her instincts. He moved aside so that she could walk in.

"Why are you here." Lucien's voice was careful, restrained. Elain didn't fail to notice his hands flexing back and forth, like he was resisting the urge to grab her and do unspeakable things to her.

Elain blushed. She bit her lip, and Lucien's eyes focused on it. "Couldn't sleep."

"So you decided to sleep walk and somehow wound up here?" he drawled sarcastically.

Elain's spine straightened at his tone. "No, I decided to come here."

"Why? You had no problem avoiding me like the plague for the past several months." He stalked away, and Elain stormed after him. "I just thought-"

"You thought wrong, Elain," Lucien replied.

Elain snorted. "Feyre was right. You are an asshole."

Lucien whipped his head around to her, and Elain stumbled back a step at the expression on his face. His eyes glowed a brilliant deep amber as fire entered his body. The room heated up more with every second. His hands were trembling, fists clenched so hard the skin was paling around his knuckles. "Did Feyre ever tell you what I did for her?" he whispered.

Elain blinked. "N-no I don't think so."

Lucien laughed mirthlessly. "Figures. She always had a bit of a victim complex. Impossible for her to admit she's wrong in any scenario." He took a step towards Elain, who took another step back. "Did you expect me to rejoice at the half-starved animal who had murdered my friend taking his place? Even if it was for the sake of breaking the curse? How would you have felt, if I had killed Feyre and I'd replaced her in your house? Not so nice, hmm?"

Elain opened her mouth, but no words came out. It was hard to think of words when Lucien focused all of his relentless attention on her. She tried again. "No. Not nice." Such a lame response, but she had nothing else to say. Lucien snorted. "Either way, I warmed up to her in spite of everything. She seemed alright...for a feral human, at least. And Tamlin loved her, so when she showed up Under the Mountain, I swore an oath to protect her for him."

Elain shook her head. Feyre had never told her any of this. Lucien continued. "But then, Amarantha dragged me in front of Rhysand and threatened to have me killed. Feyre offered up her name in exchange for my life. Despite me nearly getting her killed a couple of times before that. True, I saved her a lot more, but..." Elain rolled her eyes at his addition, and Lucien took another step forward, "from that point onward, I wasn't just protecting her for Tamlin or Prythian. I was doing it for her."

Elain took another step back. Lucien smirked at her retreat, continuing his story. "She was forced to face this gigantic creature called the Middengard Wyrm. I called out the direction it was coming from, thus saving her life and nearly damning my own. Amarantha ultimately spared my life on the condition that Tamlin whip me instead. Twenty times."

Elain gasped as Lucien began unbuttoning his shirt. "What are you doing?" Elain asked breathlessly, unable to stop watching as Lucien slid his shirt off, turning his back to Elain. There were long, jagged scars going all across Lucien's back. Elain stepped forward to look at them more closely when Lucien shrugged his shirt back on. "Am I still the asshole, Elain?" he asked darkly, then he walked away. Elain nearly screamed in frustration. The urge to touch him, beg him to stay, was uncontrollable. But her legs were screaming again, and she sighed as she settled on the plush carpet in Lucien's living room. Her muscles were burning with lactic acid.

"Elain?" Lucien was by her side in an instant, hand on her shoulder. "Are you ok?" His tone was a far cry from what it had been a few moments ago, purely gentleness and concern in it. He cursed under his breath. "I'm so sorry, Elain, I had no idea-"

Elain laid her hand over his. "It's nothing life-threatening, Lucien," she assured him. "My muscles are just really sore."

Lucien blushed. "Well...I could, you know...?"

"Could what?" Elain asked.

Lucien muttered, "Icouldmassageyouifthatsnottooinappropriate."

"What's that?" Elain yelled, pretending not to understand.

"Oh, I know you heard me, lady," Lucien replied, a bit of a flirtatious note in his voice now. Elain smirked. "You may massage me." She sat up, offering her back to him. He placed his warm hands on her shoulders and began to rub them in circles.

Holy Mother, he was good at this; Elain didn't know how she was going to get through this, especially when his hands moved down her arms, and he turned her around, taking one of her legs in his big palms. "May I?" he asked softly.

Elain barely managed to whisper, "Yes." His hands began working their magic on her upper legs, and she bit back her moan. She really shouldn't be as insanely turned on by this as she was. It was only made worse by the fact that Lucien's body was completely tense, his scent revealing that he was having just as much difficulty maintaining control as she was. When his thumbs dug into her inner thighs, she couldn't control her gasp.

Lucien immediately pulled away. "I'm sorry," he muttered, his cheeks scarlet. "I'll take my leave, my lady." He jumped up, hastily bowing, before he began to walk away. Bastard! He dare work her up this much and then just leave???? Hell no. Elain stomped up to him, shouting, "Lucien! You come back here this instant!" Lucien turned back to her, his russet eye wide, his metal one whirring like crazy. How was he just so effortlessly handsome? It drove Elain mad. So, she did the logical thing.

She stood on her tip-toes, grabbed Lucien by the collar, and slammed her lips to his.

[bloomingdarkgarden]

I’m not sure where to start.

I feel like sometimes I want to type out my thoughts with your most recent chapter right next to me, but then I would probably write you a review as long as your chapter and that seems excessive. I would like to begin but saying your authors note made me laugh. A log adrift in a sea. I believe your story is worth the wait. I truly love a good slow burn.

The “Pffft” sound is truly one of the sweetest sounds in the world. I have always thought there’s a lot of beauty in sharing oranges or any other type of citrus. I think it’s a fruit that is meant to be shared and offered. LAfter readying that in your very first chapter- I listed a little more closely when I ate a mandarin and fell in love with the sound. To see Azriel recall that moment was so sweet and moving.

The relationship you have given Nesta and Elain is beautiful. It’s actually a relationship I share very similarly to my sister. I’m older but I’m definitely more the “Elain” while she is the “Nesta”. I don’t know anyone as strong willed as Haley to be quite honest with you. I find more and more of my Haley in your Nesta. All the more reason to love your story.

I’m so glad Lucian finally knows. 😭😭😭😭 I have a lot of love for him. It’s a relief to know that they’re okay. The realization that Azriel really did want to murder him was hilarious. And when he gave her fallacy it made my heart so so happy.

I too, fuck heavily with cheese. All kinds. I used to work in a fancy grocery store deli, and I am a cheese connoisseur (unofficially).

I’m excited to see what exactly happen with the Reyweavers. 🤸🏽‍♀️ You’re creativity is the reason I breathe.

Why do I feel like Azriel is going to have to go out and find Elain??? 😭 “I will find you always.” Man I’m not ready for what’s to come. AND WHEN HE GAVE HER THE CARVING I JUST ABOUT DIED.

I’m going to read your story from the beginning again. I always reread chapters but I feel like I want to start it from the top again, you know?

I know you mentioned that there would be letter sent back and forth in the next chapter and I’m so so so excited! I’m currently reading a book called Divine Rivals and that’s an element to that story. I love love letters. It’s so underrated and I wish more people would send them. I recommend the story. It’s a YA novel but it’s so romantic and beautifully written.

P.s. I’ve always imaged Az and Elain the same way you have. I just know Elain has some nice defined eyebrows and a big ass.

All that’s to say- Elisabeth you truly are a star.

A poem I think of often.

My Azriel (minus the stubble)

1) yes big ass Elain 2) girl your azriel is tasty take me to Italy and sprinkle some Romano on that man I’ll eat him for dinner. 3) i too need cheese like oxygen.

4) nesta is sacred to me too. I love her and truly believe her and Elain balance each other and have shared trauma in a way that binds them to be immeasurably close if SJM ever allows it. 5) i will pocket your recommendation thank you.

6) I love that you love the clementines. I believe that sharing food is really intimate. In the books Feyre + Nesta eating / weight gain is part of their journey away from trauma. I am choosing to have Elain slowly offer foods to Azriel in a parallel of that, the offer to nourish his heart and body since no one really has.

your comments give me life 🥹 love y’all.

[gimme-mor]

ACOTAR THINK PIECE: ELAIN ARCHERON, UNTOUCHABLE

*DISCLAIMER*

This will be a long post.

Please take the time to read this post in its entirety and truly reflect on the message I am trying to send before commenting. My goal is to use my background in Gender and Women’s Studies to deconstruct the comments I have seen on Tumblr and Twitter and bring awareness to the ACOTAR fandom.

The reason I am tagging “Elriel” in this post is to call attention to the arguments in the Elriel fandom that: weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions about Elain’s character and her relationship with Lucien; victimize Elain’s character in fandom discussions; and coddle Elain’s character, which limits fandom discussions about her narrative development and prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions in the same way that the fandom holds other characters accountable for their actions and inactions. It is for these reasons that I WILL NOT remove the “Elriel” tag from this post because all of the above points contribute to the toxic discourse surrounding Elain’s character.

I urge those who use these arguments to understand their implications, why they are problematic, regardless of intent, and reexamine their contributions to the ACOTAR fandom. I WILL NOT tolerate anyone who tries to twist my words and say I am attacking people and their personal shipping preferences. In fact, I AM CRITIQUING THE ARGUMENTS THEMSELVES NOT THE PEOPLE USING THE ARGUMENTS.

Also, I highly encourage the Elriel fandom to read this post because it addresses how the concept of choice as an argument enables arguments to exploit social justice and feminist languge in order to vilify Elucien shippers, among other problematic things.

Elain Archeron is one of the most polarizing characters in the ACOTAR fandom. Though opinions about Elain vary, arguments in the Elriel fandom cite society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters as the reason behind the hate, and this belief is used to provide an explanation as to why other characters in the series are favored over her. In the series, Elain is portrayed in a wholly positive light and this image carries over into the Elriel fandom, painting her character as a good and kind female who has been unfairly wronged and a victim of circumstances that were out of her control. When arguments in the Elriel fandom oppose other viewpoints in the fandom, they fall into one of three categories:

Category 1: Weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions

Maybe people who hate Elain are just jealous of her in a weird way similar to when someone hates the pretty, nice, and charming girl in school just because she is too perfect

Disliking Elain is misogynistic

What happened to feminism? What happened to women supporting women? What happened to she can say no? All of that disappears the second you force Elain to be with Lucien

Elain antis are misogynistic

All Eluciens are Elain antis

Antis claiming they’re feminists when in reality they hate on Elain and Feyre but love Nesta

Elain antis are such sore losers. Y’all were that bunch of people who could not get over being rejected from hanging out with the cool kids so y’all are projecting your hatred towards pretty people now to get validation

I don’t get how Elain’s love for gardening equals boring for some people. I’m sorry your misogyny finds traditionally feminine activities boring

Why are you attacking a female? What did Elain do? Where are your feminist voices?

The fandom is misogynistic towards Elain

If people loved Elain they would ship Elriel

If you hate Elain it says a lot about your feelings toward women

If you hate Elain because she has no “development” then you must hate Azriel because otherwise you’re misogynistic

Eluciens are turned off by the idea of a woman that has the autonomy to reject a man for the simple reason that it is her choice

Eluciens are all about feminism and “it’s HER choice” until it comes down to females not wanting a male

Eluciens don’t respect Elain’s feelings when they ship her with someone that was part of her trauma and makes her feel uncomfortable

The way some Elucien shippers completely disregard how uncomfortable Elain is around Lucien is so hilariously not funny. Prioritizing being mates over Elain’s feelings is just regressive

It’s hard as a fan of Elain to see someone ship her with a person who makes her physically uncomfortable to be around. Wouldn’t you want both characters to be happy to be around each other

Imagine if SJM saw all the awful things her “stans” had to say about Elain

It’s true that we know comparatively little about her, but is she really boring or do you just not value stereotypically feminine traits?

So y’all are just gonna tell me you prefer Elucien over Elriel? Even though Lucien treats Elain as if she’s something that belongs to him? The only reason he wants to be with her is because she’s his mate, he doesn’t respect her, doesn’t treat her as his equal, even though that’s what mates should be? He doesn’t bother to look past what’s on the outside to see her for who she is. And Elain is obviously repulsed by the idea that she should belong to anyone or have no choice in who she can be with. Azriel is her friend and the only person who sees her quiet strength. He has so much faith in her, in her abilities; he’s the one who kept her company when no one else did, he’s the only one who bothered to see her for more than her brokenness. You’re going to tell me you still prefer Elucien over Elriel?

The more I see Gwynriels that ship Elucien out of their hate for Elain, the less I can understand Elain stans that ship Elucien. Pls Elain has made it very clear that she doesn’t want Lucien, why would you ship her with him? Do you hate her too? Smh

The real question would be, if you care and understand Elain why would you ship her with Lucien (where she canonically shrinks when he is near)?

People crying over Helion and Lucien’s mom not getting to be with each other and her being forced into a relationship she didn’t want, but also ship Elucien? Just say you hate Elain

When Elain’s book is out, Gwyn stans will look like clowns and I will laugh because they set her up by shipping her with Azriel just because they hate Elain. Watch them play the victims now because Elriels are clapping back the hate they’ve sent towards Elain

As romantic as wanting girl who is visibly uncomfortable around a guy who caused her trauma to end up with the said guy. Guess their standards for romance are in hell

Category 2: Victimize Elain’s character

Gwynriels only want Gwyn with Azriel because they despise Elain

Gwyn stans and Gwynriels are Elain antis

No one in the books dislike Elain, so why are there so many people who do?

Elain hasn’t done anything wrong or questionable to warrant the hate she gets

Not having Elain’s POV makes it easy for people to be swayed a certain way about her character if you already don’t relate to her in some way

It’s been years since this series came out and we haven’t gotten a lick of an Elain POV, but people still hate her for what? We don’t know her thoughts, dreams, or aspirations

We haven’t even had Elain’s perspective yet and people are passing these judgments off on her

Elain antis who say she’s boring are just cruel when she has obvious symptoms of PTSD like Feyre and Nesta

Gwyn is one of the most overhyped characters and that’s only because most people hate Elain and they couldn’t wait to find a random girl to ship Azriel with

Nesta was abusive to her sisters but Elain (who has only ever been kind) is painted as the villain

From the text we know that Elain is the epitome of feminine stereotypes (gentle, gardening, baking, non confrontational for the most part). Yet people still call her boring or deny that she has any interesting character traits?

You can’t love Nesta and hate Elain

People hate Elain because of internalized misogyny and lack of taste. All the girl does is tend to her garden and mind her business and they treat her worse than Tamlin

Does Gwyn deserve all this support? Of course yes! She is amazing! But where’s that support when Elain was in the same situation as she? Where’s that support for her right now? Why do they idolize Gwyn for her interactions with Azriel and hate Elain for having any interaction with him?

It’s not even a ship war anymore, they just hate Elain

People hate Elain for no reason

Some of y’all don’t like feminine traits and it shows

We know less about Eris and Helion but people don’t call them boring. Why would rejecting femininity make Elain more interesting?

Elain has had a lot forced upon her

The main reason I believe most people love Gwyn so much is to get Azriel away from Elain. It’s not a secret that Elain has been a widely hated character for years so suddenly we get a new female who has a minimal amount of interactions with Azriel and BOOM. New ship that once again doesn’t make sense (just like Azriel x Emerie after ACOFAS)

Elain hasn’t done something so terrible for her to get this hate. At this point some of you are just being misogynistic and you don’t want to accept it. Don’t call yourselves feminists and then say bs like this, it’s embarrassing. She’s pretty and everyone agreed to hate on her

Just a personal feeling, but I feel like a lot of the Elain hate stems from internalized misogyny. That to be a strong female lead, you need to pick up a sword and fight. That to be strong, you need to adapt traditionally masculine traits

Elain is feminine. She is beautiful. She loves to bake and garden. She is docile, quiet, observant, and a people-pleaser. All traditionally feminine traits. Yet for some reason, she’s like the worst in these people’s eyes?

I think also maybe a lot of people can’t relate to her femininity? That her being so beautiful and quiet doesn’t allow for the people who dislike her not to self-insert? Most of the hate stems from people not wanting Elain to be with Azriel. It’s mean, but maybe the people who hate Elain literally just can’t self-insert if they have a story and that’s why they’re vehemently against it?

Poor Elain. The Cauldron dealt her a bad deal. Upon emerging as Fae, she is immediately declared by Lucien as his mate, never mind that she was already engaged to a prick. Her love life is not good

It blows my mind how they really think that they can compare all the shit that Elain gets with some dumb jokes about Gwyn on Twitter (and yes, the “hate” towards her started mostly because Elriels are clapping back, it was bound to happen)

I would think of it as anti-feminist with Elain and Lucien because she has consistently stated that she does not want him so if she was forced to embrace the bond that would be taking away her right to have a choice but with Az she feels comfortable around so if they were mates then Elain would be happy and feel safe which again should be the priority for women to feel safe in their relationships with anything and to not be forced into any type of situation aka the mating bond in this

Category 3: Coddle Elain’s character

Elain has value the way she is, in all her domestic girly glory. Not every character has to be badass

We don’t speak of Elain’s flaws frequently because everyone else already speaks badly of her, mainly in an unfair way

There is definitely something deeper going on with Elain but by no means will she ever be evil or any less feminine. That goes against everything we already know about her

It’s ok to critique Elain because she needs growth but y’all keep forgetting the shit her and her sisters went through

The last “bad” thing Elain did in ACOTAR was not help Feyre when they were impoverished and I’m tired of people acting like she’s a terrible character when it was their father’s responsibility. It happened 4 books ago and Feyre has forgiven both Nesta and Elain

Elain’s character and the evil Elain theory are a great example of the trend where people only consider female characters interesting if they reject femininity

We don’t know enough to hate Elain

Many people want Elain to turn evil (which in my opinion seems to come from a place of internalized misogyny)

However we don’t tend to talk about her faults, at least not publicly, as that has been, and still is, done to death, and I--personally, at least--find it much more fun to theorise about potentially interesting aspects of the overall plot, than dwell on negatives

And ultimately, I would be shocked if Elain has a more karmically-charged story than Nesta, considering that Elain’s “wrongs” are so much less severe and bad than Nesta’s, and Elain has already apologized for them (or paid the price in other ways, like through what Graysen did)

I guess I also think Elain has suffered and been punished enough. I hope her story is about finding hope in terrible situations, and learning to love her new life, and choosing her own path after everything that has been done to her. I don’t think she needs to be punished anymore or face any additional trauma

Also, why is she being judged on her decisions as a human at all? Fae are monsters to humans! They enslaved them for thousands of years, and the Wall was erected to keep them out

Like I’m sorry, but think Elain would want to leave her ONLY FAMILY AND FRIENDS for the Spring Court where she has no one because--oh look, lots of flowers!--is the craziest thing I have ever heard

Her sisters are in the Night Court. Her nephew is in the Night Court. Her closest friends (Nuala and Cerridwen) are in the Night Court. Her love interest is in the Night Court. Her extended family is in the Night Court. Her home is in the Night Court

SJM isn’t going to keep two sisters together and split up the third. Especially not keep Feyre and Nesta together and separate Elain. They were either all going to end up in separate places, or together. Not 2 here and 1 there

Compared to the other female characters in the series, Elain is the only character whose femalehood is at the center of conversations; this is because arguments in the Elriel fandom fixate on it when discussing her character. While Elain, Feyre, Nesta, and Mor are all representations of white womanhood and white beauty, Elain epitomizes the most fragile version of white womanhood. It’s easy to blame society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters when it comes to the discourse surrounding Elain’s character because it: falls in line with the fixation on Elain’s femalehood to silence opposing viewpoints; is a simplistic explanation that fails to tackle the underlying issues with Elain as a character, the same issues that are downplayed in-universe; absolves Elain of her wrongdoings; prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions within the series; and diminishes the impact Elain’s actions and inactions have on those around her. It’s not that Elain is hated in the fandom because she’s a traditional female character; it’s the fact that arguments in the Elriel fandom deflect a critical analysis of Elain’s character because she’s a traditional female character who embodies the ideal white woman in need of protection. White fans and white-aligned fans of color, especially white women, have a tendency to vehemently defend, gatekeep, and coddle white female characters in fandom; this makes it difficult for other fans to engage in critical discussions about these white female characters because they’re viewed as flawless and all around perfect characters despite evidence to the contrary. Since Elain is viewed positively by the other characters in the series, it has rendered her character untouchable to any perceived slight or criticism in fandom discussions because those negative opinions challenge what has been said about her character thus far. And as a result, her character has been placed on a pedestal and implicitly hailed as the epitome of white womanhood; and when she’s criticized, it’s seen as a direct attack against white womanhood. Arguments in the Elriel fandom: exploit feminist language and perpetuate white feminist tactics under the guise of defending Elain’s character; center Elain in conversations about female oppression in the ACOTAR world and uphold white feminist ideologies in their critique of ACOTAR’s patriarchal society; and use the fragile white woman narrative to victimize Elain in Lucien’s presence, playing into racial biases that are associated with white supremacy’s defense of white womanhood.

Feminism is a social movement that seeks to promote equality and equity to all genders, and feminists work toward eradicating gender disparities on a macro-level, in addition to challenging gender biases on a micro-level. As feminism became more mainstream, a flat and oversimplified version of feminism emerged: mainstream feminism. The mainstream feminist movement is meant to represent all women, but rarely does it center conversations around issues that concern most women. The problem with mainstream feminism is that it’s just a popularized version of white feminism. White feminism has relied extensively on an individualized understanding of women’s oppression, exclusively from the lens of privileged white women. White feminism only focuses on the oppression experienced by white, able-bodied, affluent, educated, cishet women; and it views gender as the key mode of privileged white women’s oppression, isolated from the privileges granted by their other social identities. White women can be and are oppressed under the patriarchy but only because they are women; their identity as women does not exempt them from the privileges granted by their whiteness. The term white feminist does not mean any feminist who is white, but refers to feminists who prioritize the concerns of privileged white women as though they are representative of all women. However, the term is not exclusive to white people. Because white feminism is so pervasive, people of other racial and ethnic backgrounds often buy into white feminism, believing that if they work hard enough, they may be able to reap its rewards.

Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism only recognizes the identity of being a woman, assumes that all women share common experiences of gender oppression, fails to address other social identities in relation to overlapping systems of oppression, and disregards privilege in relation to various social identities. Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism is palatable because it doesn’t seek to challenge the systems in place, instead its goal is to succeed within them. Essentially, mainstream feminism and white feminism are extensions of performative feminism. Performative feminism is a type of performative activism that’s used to describe feminist views that are surface level and solely for the benefit of one type of person. It’s a pretense which often has nothing to do with genuine activism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom normalize and promote performative feminism because the topic of feminism is only referenced when discussing Elain. This indicates that these arguments are engaging in disingenuous discourse to push a personal agenda within the ACOTAR fandom, and it becomes more apparent when they use white feminist tactics to shut down opposing viewpoints:

White feminists weaponize and exploit feminist language to silence the opinions of other women, especially when they’re called out for their problematic behaviors

White feminists use the phrase “Women supporting women” to defend other white feminists who exhibit problematic behaviors instead of holding them accountable 

White feminists weaponize phrases like “Women supporting women” and “You just hate women” to attack other women who disagree with them on any given topic

White feminists use phrases like “All women face challenges” and “Stop pitting women against each other” to sidestep conversations about privilege

White feminists divert conversations away from privilege and towards the Trauma Olympics to equate their struggles to the oppression of marginalized people 

White feminists skirt around the realities of other forms of oppression and discrimination, downplaying the experiences of marginalized people

White feminists diminish or ignore the ways in which gender oppression affects other marginalized people

White feminists paint those they harmed as aggressive, mean, or divisive when confronted with the ways they have harmed a marginalized group

White feminists deflect criticism by focusing on the anger or emotions being expressed rather than the issue that is being discussed, invalidating the concerns of marginalized people

White feminists speak over marginalized voices in an attempt to sound “woke”

White feminists get defensive and insist there’s no way they could be a part of the problem because of what they’ve done to help marginalized groups already 

White feminists say they don’t see color in an attempt to obscure racial issues that need to be addressed

White feminists center and victimize themselves in conversations about racism, which derails necessary conversations from taking place

White feminists who are white weaponize the intersectionality of their race and gender to avoid accountability

Feminism is not meant to be approached from an individualistic perspective nor is it only about addressing the experiences of privileged white women, it involves addressing the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, and other social identities as well; and it involves addressing how these social identities relate to privilege. Moreover, feminism is not about women upholding complete loyalty to other women because of a shared gender identity, and to claim that it does implies that women should be held to different emotional standards than men. If men are able to dislike and criticize other individual men, real or fictional, without their characters being compromised, why aren’t women granted that same privilege?

It’s clear that SJM set up the ACOTAR world to mirror a patriarchal society, and that the imbalance of power between males and females stems from sexism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom analyze the ACOTAR world through a feminist lens to show how ACOTAR’s patriarchal society, to which the mating bond is innately tied, contributes to female oppression and limits their agency. When choice and free will are emphasized as part of Elain’s arc, they imply that Elain, through the mating bond, experiences female oppression under ACOTAR’s patriarchal society because of her identity as a female with that identity being the focal point of her oppression in the world. Elain is one of the most privileged characters in the ACOTAR world: she’s High Fae; she’s the sister of the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, which gives her access to wealth and political influence because of that connection; she’s able-bodied; she was magically blessed by the Cauldron; and she lives in Velaris, a place that grants females autonomy and power because of the beliefs of Rhysand and Feyre. Arguments in the Elriel fandom trivialize female oppression in the ACOTAR world because they disregard the fact that Elain’s privileges prevent her from experiencing female oppression in the same way that other marginalized females in the world do. The mating bond being one such example because those around Elain are not forcing the bond on her, instead they’re allowing Elain to reach a decision about the bond for herself; a privilege that other marginalized females in the world probably wouldn’t have. Just because Elain has endured hardships in her life and is a female in a patriarchal society, they do not erase the privileges she holds within the ACOTAR world. The failure to include Elain’s privileges in discussions about Elain being a female in a patriarchal society feeds into white feminist ideologies because white feminism operates from a very narrow perspective; it doesn’t take other intersecting identities into account when it examines gender oppression, leaving no room for discussions about privilege (or lack thereof) in relation to those intersecting identities. When discussing oppression in hierarchical societies, it’s imperative that privilege is also included in the conversation because privilege and oppression are not mutually exclusive; they equally affect the ways in which people navigate those societies through their social identities.

Rather than attributing Elain’s uncomfortability to her new life as a Fae female or the mating bond itself and her trauma to the Cauldron, the King of Hybern, or Ianthe, they’re placed on Lucien to cast his character in a negative light. Moreover, fandom discussions portray Lucien as a possessive character to further emphasize Elain’s discomfort despite the inaccuracy of this characterization in canon. Arguments in the Elriel fandom play into racial biases when it comes to Lucien (a male character of color) because they mischaracterize his character in order to victimize Elain (a white female character), placing her character in the role of the white damsel in distress. In Western society, the concept of womanhood has been conceptualized from a Eurocentric perspective with femininity and feminine attributes favoring white women. It’s the idea that a certain type of femininity is only inherent to white women as they are seen as the embodiment of an ideal womanhood. White womanhood has been a symbol of innocence and purity, and white women have been viewed as fragile beings in need of protection. The reason white womanhood functions within white supremacy is because it’s the same idea that has motivated white men to kill and beat black and brown men. The so-called protection of white women has been used as a justification for the horrific violence committed by white men because black and brown men were stereotyped as aggressive and seen as a threat to the virtue of white women. The white damsel in distress trope considered white women as worthy of protection because of their perceived innocence and purity; women of color were not granted that same treatment because they did not fit into the ideal image of womanhood. Over the years, this trope became a means for white women to exercise limited power in a patriarchal society with white women weaponizing their status as the damsel much to the detriment of black and brown men. It’s through the white damsel in distress trope that white supremacy sustains its dominance in Western society. The misrepresentation of characters of color in fandom, the dismissal of their importance to the overall story, and using them as tools in arguments centered around white characters are the foundation of fandom racism; they’re examples of how racism moves silently in fandom spaces. Instead of examining their behavior and taking constructive criticism from fans of color, white fans will often double down on their bigotry and center their uncomfortability in the conversation when confronted with their complicity in fandom racism. White fans expect fans of color to swallow fandom racism in its many forms in order to not ruin the experience of fandom, dismissing the fact that racism is prevalent in nearly every aspect of society. This mentality ensures that no one is held accountable for the harm they caused and alienates fans of color in fandom spaces.

To reiterate what I mentioned in my first think piece: terms like “oppression”, “the right to choose”, “feminist”, “feminism”, “anti-feminist”, “anti-feminism”, “internalized misogyny”, “misogyny”, “misogynist”, “sexist”, “sexism”, “racist”, “racism”, “classist”, “classism”, “discrimination”, and “patriarchy” are all used in specific ways to draw attention to the plight of marginalized people and challenge those who deny the existence of systems of oppression. Yet these words and their meanings can be twisted to attack, exclude, and invalidate people with differing opinions on any given topic. When social justice and feminist terms are thrown around antagonistically and carelessly to push a personal agenda, it becomes clear that these terms are being used to engage in disingenuous discourse and pursue personal validation rather than being used out of any deep-seated conviction to dismantle systemic oppression. Being an ally, activist, or feminist is not an identity, it’s a practice. It requires: ongoing self-reflection; holding ourselves accountable; listening to marginalized people; educating ourselves; dismantling implicit biases; challenging those around us who are exhibiting problematic behaviors; and action behind our words.

It’s important to be aware of the language that is used within the fandom when defending or critiquing characters and ships. It’s also important to question how an argument is framed and why it’s framed the way that it is to critically examine the intent behind that argument: is it used as a tool to push a personal agenda that reinforces problematic behaviors, or is it used as an opportunity to share, learn, enlighten, and educate?

-----------

Tagging: @spell-cleavers @bookofmirth @m0bulidae @ilya-boltagon

[sayosdreams]

Nessian prompts:

Cassian finds Nesta having a panic attack in the bathroom bc of the bathtub

Established relationship. Cassian has a nightmare about losing his wings. Nesta tells Cassian he’s more than his wings.

Cassian braids Nesta’s hair for her

Nesta and Cassian secret dating in order to avoid criticism from their family but then Mor is playfully flirting with Cassian and Nesta is jealous/mad

Nesta and Cassian are both famous. Their fans start shipping them and writing fanfic about them. Their friends and family think it’s hilarious. One day someone sends them some ✨revealing✨ fanart

Nesta and Cassian were high school sweethearts. They took different paths after high school and decided to break things off but now they’re both back in town and the attraction and emotions and connection is still there. But they’ve gone through things during their time apart... (hint: TomASS)

Nesta, Lucien and Emerie are best friends. ((Yup that’s the whole prompt))

Nesta is sad on the anniversary of her mom’s death. Feyre doesn’t remember the exact date. Cassian is trying to figure out what’s up. Rhys pushes Nesta too hard, but Nesta is basically drained. The IC is like “what’s wrong w her” but then Elain comes into the room and is like “what’s going on” and no one answers and then Elain sees Nesta’s face and hugs her and is like “mom would have been so proud of you” and then Nesta is like “no shes wouldnt” and then they have a in depth convo abt their mom and misogyny and social expectations and Feyre joins in but EVERYONE ELSE LEAVES BC ITS NOT THEIR PLACE

Nesta and Cassian are in love and are mates BUT they’re not mated bc Nesta has no idea how that’s supposed to go down and Cassian knows that Nesta has reservations abt the concept of matehood so he’s perfectly content to just be w her and show that he chose to love her, not the Cauldron, and won’t tell her how the mating thing is supposed to happen.

Wing Sin. Cassian’s wings. Smut but make it emotional, as we go through the whole Cassian-almost-scarified-his-wings things and wings-make-you-Illyrian and all that kinda identity stuff. And then obv Nesta will have to be like I love u — I love your scars and your laugh, your jokes and your tears, your hugs and your fears. And then they’ll bond over how both of them are a little rough and hard but also so passionate and fierce and caring and then yeah smut and love.

Cassian telling Nesta about Illyrian culture (yes I refuse to believe that they don’t have a culture)

Talking about the future Nesta wanted (as in, her dreams when she was a kid) & the future she was supposed to have (like, marry someone and have a bunch of kids and stuff)

Nesta and Cassian discussing the issue of Mor

Cassian is an architect. Nesta is a lawyer, who likes to write in her free time. They are both hired by the same company who wants to expand their space. They attend meeting together and romance and drama ensue.

Nesta explores her powers. Cassian explores his.

Nesta and Cassian adopt a baby.

Variant: Nesta and Cassian adopt a child (not a baby — child is over the age of 7). The IC, who are settled down in couples with only 1 or 2 kids MAX bc far pregnancy is supposedly rare, are nice to the child and all that, but they don’t rly accept the kid as Nesta & Cassian’s. They keep being like “Nesta, Cassian, when r u gonna have a baby” and Nesta and Cassian are like um we already have a kid. And the kid asks Nesta and Cassian if they’re gonna be replaced by a baby / the kid says “I’m sorry u can’t have a baby” but then Nessian explains that it’s not that they can’t get pregnant, it’s that they wanted to adopt the kid and yeah that’s it

Bonus:

Random idea I thought of but imagine the plot twist if Elain ended up with Mor?

I’m tagging a few ppl who may be interested: @moanypony8 @bakingandbooks3 @perseusannabeth @danaanruhn

[highqueenofelfhame]

acowar reread thread

so i think i’ll update this post every few chapters unless anything super major happens that i want to immediately react to, that way you get my commentary but i’m not totally flooding and flooding and flooding your feed with a super super long post. i think i’m going to edit it under the cut and reblog it every time it gets updated and i’ll also number every update so it’s easy to find where i left off. if you guys prefer the other way i’ll transition back to the other way for acofas.) this is super fun i’ll start doing this for more books if you’re interested, including books i read for the first time. (after acofas, crescent city is next and it’ll be my first time reading it!)

UPDATES UNDER THE CUT.

1) chapters 1-5 I’ve read up through chapter five and so far my favorite thing is just how DONE feyre is with literally everyone in the spring court. the amount of times she’s had to like look away and not roll her eyes is just hilarious, her dry inner monologue, she just made a comment about having to remind herself to laugh and not strangle tamlin while they were dancing at the summer solstice and it just is so funny to me. 

i miss rhys. but the few times they’ve spoken through the bond is enough to tide me over. he told her he loved her once and i sighed out loud. i’m such trash for this bitch. 

feyre hijacking the summer solstice ceremony is COMEDIC GOLD. like you kNOW ianthe was fuming and furious and trying to save face the best she could but like hats off to feyre man. her character development from book one to where we’re at in book three is fantastic. she’s not a simpering little girl anymore, she’s a bad bitch and she kNOWS she’s a bad bitch and it’s just.. fucking great. 

i also, as much as i don’t want to, feel for lucien A LOT. i think a lot of his behavior is heavily influenced by how he’s been treated by tamlin for most of his life and i feel genuine remorse from him and the fact that he can like tell something is up but isn’t saying anything just shows, to me anyway, how much remorse he��s genuinely feeling. 

also alis knowing that something is up is just a testament to how attentive she is as a faerie and a friend and i really love that about her.

“I was the nightmare” YAS BITCH. FUCKIN YAASSS.

2) chapters 6-10 feyre is so goddamn clever. the entire time she’s bringing down the spring court she’s witty and fierce and clever and really just iS THAT BITCH, HUH? 

i don’t like jurian but the fact that he still has compassion within himself for his kind despite being literally insane for being just AWAKE and aware for like 500 years is... nice and pleasantly surprising because i feel like you wouldn’t think that of him being that he’s siding with hybern so that he thanked feyre when she tried to get the children of the blessed out of there... i don’t know why i’m bringing this up, it’s just something that stuck out to me and that jurian also vouches (to feyre) about rhysand’s character and how decent of a person he found him to be. it’s just very interesting and i feel like speaks leaps and bounds about rhysand as a person. 

feyre pushing tamlin to explode again... just CHEF KISS. like she really thought of everything. she thought of everything to internally make his sentries doubt him and then completely hate them by orchestrating the ianthe vs sentry debacle. she made herself seem very compassionate and kind and and showed tamlin and ianthe for what they were by doing genuinely so little. like all she did was make them show their true colors on their own and it didn’t take tOO much manipulation. idk feyre is just incredible in the spring court. 

forcing ianthe to hurt herself and molding her mind to make her think she’s always afraid is so much better than just outright killing her.. (if i remember from my last read, it doesn’t hold up, but the thought is there and it’s genius) I also think that this shows a lot about feyre and her character because despite everything she couldn’t just leave lucien alone with ianthe and the unwanted advances. she stayed and fought for her friend (and by extension her mate) even when lucien wouldn’t really fight for her and so feyre is just a fuckin real one like... she’s the kind of friend that you want in your corner. 

killing the hybern twins: glorious. such badassery from lucien and feyre both. 

and i think it’s nice that she let lucien come along with her on her journey back to the night court despite maybe not wanting to but i also think that she knew if she left him behind he could get in serious trouble or wind up dead and so again, i think it says a lot about her character as a person. 

3) chapters 11-15 i’m kind of reading and recapping every 50 pages or so which typically ends up being 4-5 chapters and it’s a good system so far so we’re gonna keep it up! 

the first thing of like, real substance to comment on is lucien saying his father will kill feyre for wielding his power but feyre just responding with “he can get in line.” like her sass is sO GOOD In this book, especially in the spring court chapters.

uhhh big fuck you to eris, i don’t know why people want him to have a redemption arc, he is literally a fat sack of shit that deserves to burn and i’m not sorry for saying so. he’s abusive and cruel and doesn’t deserve like, anything at all. although i will say good on him for balking a bit when feyre revealed she’s high lady. 

CASSIAN AND AZRIEL SUPERHERO LANDING ON THE ICE AND KICKING ASS!! I remember vividly the relief i felt when cassian showed up and was able to fly and i still felt so much victory when it happened again. it’s one of my favorite moments of the book so far and just really gets me. also feyre just dropping the “I’m high lady of the night court” bomb is DELICIOUS and i can’t get enough. i read it like six times. because you know as soon as the illyrians yielded to her that the autumn bitches were like “shit.”

“My love.” kILLS ME. you guys, i’ve only read this book once but i’ve reread their reuniting multiple times because it’s just so soft. rhys is so goddamn soft. he loves her so fucking much. i want rhys to call me my love and lick my tears away. goddamn. 

something i think about a lot is how in acotar when tamlin had feyre alone after months of torture he just tried to fuck her despite knowing things weren’t safe. however, knowing she was home and safe, rhys didn’t try for that immediately. like yes, they kissed, but there was so much conversation before they fucked that it just, says a lot about their relationship. tamlin also always demanded to know everything about feyre’s visits as soon as she was back, not even bothering to kiss her hello but rhys was like ‘that shit can wait’ AND THEY’RE ABOUT TO GO TO WAR. rhys loves her so wholly that he wanted to make sure she was okay before he ever bothered to ask about the spring court and how everything unfolded the last few weeks. idk i’m trash for rhysand, y’all. let’s make that a shirt.

the way that rhys threatens lucien, “i won’t bother to explain it again, and i will rip out your fucking throat.” is so sexy. like how casual it was, so sexy.#ripmythroatoutrhysand

amren being a bedtime story but irl is just a cranky aunt lmao.

nesta’s ferocity is, yes, frustrating, but also so heartbreaking to me. for a very long time i had a really rough relationship with my sister and i can see my own sister in nesta (who, by the way, would murder me if she found out i said this so, kara, if u see this, i love u endlessly and i love nesta with my whole heart) especially nesta’s behavior more so in acofas which i’ll talk more about when we get there. but i just, i feel for her man. she’s been traumatized and life as she knows it has been ripped away from her and some people respond to trauma with bite. and i know it doesn’t make it right or okay but it still just makes me feel for her.

cassian and nesta’s banter just gODDAMMIT SLAYS ME. i cannot wait for an entire fucking book of this shit and an entire book of their back and forth. i think nesta loves him and doesn’t know what to do with it because she’s scared so she’s acting like a cornered animal. like nesta is a snake that will strike when cornered and threatened and i just god i can’t wait for their book. 

elain... broke my heart a lot more than i remembered. as someone in the midst of my worst depression i find myself able to relate to that hollow and empty feeling like...all too well and it struck a cord and i almost cried at how empty she was. 

4) chapters 16-29 there is the whole meeting at amren’s apartment and cassian defends nesta, saying that he understands her actions, her snark, why she is the way she is, and it just honestly reinforces my love for cassian. i don’t have much to say about it but that i just really love the respect that he has for others. more cassian things: feyre brings up again how even broken and literally bleeding out and on the ground with his wings completely shredded he was still crawling toward nesta and reaching for her and trying to get to her. “because i can’t stay away.” fucking cracks my heart open every time. 

i love everything about the first family dinner back together. i love all the banter, i love that nesta sat in and even contributed to dinner conversation a little bit. lucien being so uncertain of the dynamic is hilarious. amren like opening herself up in a way to nesta and telling her that they’re the same, and to make sure her eruption is felt across worlds, i love it. i’m marking a lot more from amren than i thought i would. cassian at one point, he points to az and says “don’t try to blend into the shadows” and it actually made me chuckle to myself because hE DOES THAT. and it’s funny that cassian calls him on it. 

i don’t think nesta gets enough credit (for like anything, we all been knew i’m a slut for her and stan her with my life) but even as broken and angry as she was she did still offer to help explore magic that she doesn’t want and got as a result of trauma so that she can try to help. she isn’t completely useless. and i like that she has backbone and isn’t just a pushover little bitch. (that isn’t directed toward elain. like i previously mentioned, i’m finding that i relate a lot to her in her current state.) i just mean that i’m glad she sticks up for herself and doesn’t just like, do what people tell her to do. ya know?

rhys being so open to feyre pushing back on him about things like, again man. tamlin erupted and got angry, rhys is like “hell, i deserved it.” just, the differences in their relationships and the toxicity that comes from tamlin and the devotion rhys has for feyre is (say it with me) DELICIOUS.

i also like that just because feyre is high lady that the IC doesn’t just like flop over and bend down and take shit (i’m looking at you, spring court.) like cassian isn’t afraid to be like “you pissed me off by sacrificing yourself.” because he cares. LIKE, AGAIN WITH HIS DEVOTION. his loyalty is just so pure. it isn’t blind but it is pure and i just, god i love it. 

also everyone forgets that azriel has a dry ass sense of humor and i don’t see any of y’all writing it into your fics. “In order to fly, you’ll need wings” he said drily. IT’S DELICIOUS. dry humor is some of the best. and i like that feyre is learning more and getting to spend more time with him. 

5) chapter 20-27 this one will be a bit of a dump because i accidentally read too much today so far to try to catch up from my lack of reading yesterday so... oops. 

“Let’s see what names you call me when my head is between your legs, Feyre darling.” ugh. i wish a mans would say that to me. not really. i wish rhys would say that to me and only rhys. maybe rowan. or aaron warner. or cassian. or -- you get it. 

amren is SO FUCKING FUNNY without doing it on purpose. like genuinely hilarious. “she’s fine. stubborn as an ass, but as you’re related, i’m not surprised.” rOAST THEM. also amren makes nesta almost smile and she makes her laugh all in the span of like ten seconds AND nesta almost smiles when amren brings up cassian. coincidencE? i tHINK NOT.

again with rhys soothing her nightmares. like god it’s so good i dont even have to say anything else abt it.

feyre realizing that the bone carver is her and rhysand’s son. SO GOOD. like SERIOUSLY SO GOOD. and this doesn’t matter at all rn but i think that rhysand’s son has the potential to be more powerful than even him but that’s a thing to get into for another time.

EVERYTHING THE BONE CARVER SAYS ABOUT NESTA. also that it’s directed at cassian is very interesting and i think the bone carver knows they’re mates. like i wonder if cassian is seeing what feyre sees: his own son. WOULDN’T THAT BE INTERESTING. “How she calls to you.” also the comment about “what did you wake that day in hybern, prince of bastards?” what did cassian wake. the wording here is interesting and i have... a lot of questions. does anyone else just also really fucking enjoy the bone carver as a character? like he’s excellent i’ve never read anything quite like him.

“nothing about nesta could frighten me” UGH MY NESSIAN HEART CAN’T FUCKING TAKE IT.

also cassian stepping it later when nesta is furious with rhysand about the flying. like, one when he sighs and says she’ll never fly again is just... funny and adorable but how nesta was charging for rhys and he casually stepped in front of her and he talked her down. “It was amren’s fault, of course, but no one believed me. and no on dare banish her.” like just babbling a bit to bring her back down to earth. absolutely fascinating and delicious that it worked, wouldn’t you agree? ;)

court of nightmares is always a pleasure. fuck eris. 

also later at the town house when amren and mor and rhys are kinda going at it a bit and cassian gets nesta’s attention and nesta sidles over to him without questioning it... like. god if they aren’t endgame i’ll never read an SJM book ever again and i wholeheartedly mean that.

so i’ve seen the posts about amren being an angel i’m not sure if you guys have but yeah i think that’s a really solid theory. i think she very well could be a biblical angel because she mentioned that according to some they were perfect, that they laid waste to twin cities (sodom & gamorrah if this theory is correct) and she also mentioned yielding her grace and that she would fall. she also says she was a messenger and soldier assassin for a wrathful god ruling a young world and all of that, in my opinion, lines up with a lot of what is in the bible and what christians believe to be true. so i really really like this theory, i doubt it will ever be outright confirmed, but i think this is going to be my canon tbh. 

elain is.... out of her mind. it’s fucking weird everything she says is so cryptic and odd. like it’s just weird. i don’t think she’s insane and i can’t remember exactly where elain’s storyline goes in this book but like... rn it’s just weird and cryptic and a little unsettling and also interesting that she only really responds directly to azriel because everyone else she kinda ignores but she talks to him. interesting. 

6) chapters 28-49 clearly i accidentally read A LOT so we have a lOT Of ground to cover. 

NESTA WAS TOTALLY CHECKING CASSIAN OUT AND THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT.

azriel has fucking jokes, man. page 303 (hardcover us edition)  “That pine tree wasn’t there a moment ago.” “Judging by its size, i’d say it’s been there for ... two hundred years at least.” feyre even notes that he has a dry sense of humor and it comes out more when they’re alone. i can’t get enough of it. i wish he talked more. 

“Cassian finished the muffin, licking his fingers. I could have sworn nesta watched the entire thing with a sidelong glance. He grinned at her as if he knew it too.” i just love nessian so much i’m going to point out all of their cute reactions this is turning more into a nessian reaction thread SUE ME.

I think that nesta has a lot of regret and guilt over her life.over how she treated feyre because it comes out when nesta brings up to feyre that she didn’t know she couldn’t read (and again at the high lords meeting when she says they would have starved if it wasn’t for her.) i think she feels deeply and just doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t know how to express it. 

When they almost get taken in the library, and cassian gets there and nesta “launches herself at him.” my heart. she was scared and she didn’t care she was just so relieved. like fuck me up that’s the shit i like.

nesta asking where cassian is the moment they get back from the battle in adriata and she was worried and scared for him. later when she does see him i think this is when the mating bond clicks into place. it’s page 398 and she says “You didn’t come to -” and then cuts herself off. they have a really fucking intense moment. cassian takes her hand and laces their fingers and they don’t really say anything for a beat until he says “Next time, emissary, i’ll come say hello.” but his voice is low and rough when he says it. “The world seemed to go utterly still at that interrupted sentence, nothing and no one more so than cassian.” i think this is when it clicks for him. maybe not for nesta but definitely for cassian. 

RHYSAND RIPPING TAMLIN’S ABILITY TO SPEAK AWAY LIKE YES WE STAN A MOTHERFUCKING KING. fuck tamlin. fuck eris. and fuck beron. also nesta defending cassian in the high lords meeting (page 438, because beron calls him a bastard.) again, i’m just saying, she’s defending her fucking mate i can’t deal. feyre also exploding in the meeting and rhys just being like “You’ve proved your point, my love.” SO DELICIOUS. “I made her high lady because i love her. her power was the last thing i considered.” like fucking hELL that is how you treat your woman.

after the meeting, helion being like “You handing eris’s ass to him will be my new fantasy at night, by the way.” DELICIOUS. fucking hilarious. 10/10 recommend helion as a high lord and a mans we love to see it. 

also cassian being so concerned when nesta starts to have that feeling about the cauldron being used before the wall gets shattered.he didn’t doubt her feelings for a second, i mean no one did, but he was completely unyielding when he sensed her fear and immediately looked for any sign of an immediate threat.

nesta saying she’s never worn pants and cassian saying “i have no doubt you’d start a riot if you did.” he’s thinking bout that ass. also cassian giving her a quick lesson in defense before they yeet off to the human lands to see graysen and his family. IDK I REALLY LOVE NESSIAN OKAY?!

7) chapter 50-the end. i accidentally finished the book. oops. 

super intersted in nesta’s powers and if she is a witch. i can’t remember acofas at all and if nesta’s powers manifest in that book but i’m eager to see if the fracturing of the cauldron didn’t effect whatever powers she took from it. i think that could also be part of what ultimately is wrong with her on top of all the trauma. 

nesta helping cassian after that first battle when his wrist is hurt. she didn’t take no for an answer and helped him and it was just really soft until mor showed up and cassian pulled his hand away. i’m conflicted about what it means to be totally honest. what it means for his feelings for nesta and what it means where mor is concerned. i don’t love how morrigan treats nesta and cassian’s... relationship? but i don’t dislike mor. i think she’s dealing and coping and has her reasons that we will likely find out about. 

“Only you can decide what breaks you” is something i’d like to get tattooed. i dont really have anything else to add to it. 

i was sobbing during rhys’s battle speech to everyone. i dont rlly have anything else to say about it other than i’m emo. 

nesta saving cassian. again i don’t have shit to say about it other than like it makes me so emotional.  she just started blinding screaming, hoping that he would come. i can’t even begin to think what his death would have done to her.

the bone carver smiling at feyre before he did hits a very specific piece of my heart and i’m not sure why or what but i had chills all over my body. 

cassian telling rhys to let him return the favor/repay the debt. HURT. another thing i cried over. like shut the fuck cassian AIN’T NOBODY DYIN TODAY. 

tHE Nessian moment to end all nessian moments when they would die together. like big fucking wow. you can’t tell me they’re not mates. that they don’t love each other despite how complicated all of it is. like cassian is so soft in the most unique way for her because he knows she bites and he lets her and he bites back and i just think it’s what he needs.

“tell the high lord to leave out a cup for me” AMREN SHUT UP. like fucking christ i teared up then too because i really really love her character. she’s unique and funny and dry and cranky and i just love her so much. 

i’m tired of rhys sacrificing himself. there, i said it. i cried like a fucking baby and of course he woke up being a snarky little shit.

i love the end of this book. i don’t know what i’ll do with myself until january when the next one comes out. i’ll probably go back to the other format for my next read through because it’s easier and less longwinded and i think you guys liked the other way better. anywho, thank you for coming along on this lil journey!!

[bookocd]

Velaris University

So this is my first try at a college AU and while it was super fun to write, I would love for some feedback if anyone has any! Also please let me know if you want to be tagged in future updates or have prompts for this series (I will def need them) 

Thanks for reading! I hope you like it :)

Here is my masterlist of fanfics is anyone wants it! 

-

-

-

Chapter 1:

“I just think it’s stupid.” The entire car trip had been the same conversation playing on repeat. I was getting a headache. 

“I know exactly what you think Nesta. You’ve only said it about twenty times.” 

“I don’t understand why anyone would go to college with a boyfriend.” 

“You don’t actually think that, you just hate Tamlin.” I was rubbing temples fiercely, and let out a sigh of relief as the Velaris University sign came into focus ahead of us. 

“He lost my respect when he threatened to break up with you if you didn’t follow him to SCC.” The moment I told her, I regretted it and I couldn’t help my frown from deepening.

“Nes you need to let that go, he obviously didn’t mean it. He was just upset. We were both upset.”

The fight I had with my boyfriend flashed in my mind, and I had to stop myself from physically cringing. 

I was hugging myself with tears running down my face. 

“Feyre, did you really think that I would be happy?” His voice was quiet, like it was also waiting for the inevitable explosion. We were standing in the greenhouse that was connected to his families mansion. This was the place they had shared their first kiss, their first time having sex, and also their first I love you’s. A thought crossed my mind that this would also be the space we had out first breakup.

“This-s program is m-my dream Tam. It’s what I want to do with my l-life.” It was hard to get the words out through the sobs. 

It was apparently the wrong thing to say. Suddenly there were plants on the ground and one of the tables was on its side. I backed up, the sobs increasing. He turned to me with a feral look on his face, and yelled, “I thought this was our life! You’re being so fucking selfish.”

I tried to stammer out an apology, but he put his hand out to silence me, a command.

“If you do this, we are over.” The glow from the greenhouse light made him look angelic, with his long golden hair and perfectly angled face. This would have been the perfect picture if he wasn’t glowering. He waited for a minute with his chest moving up and down with his quick breaths. He was waiting for me to change my mind, but I wasn’t going to. 

He finally realized what my silence meant, and kicked over another table of flowers. A pot landed right at my feet and shattered instantly. It reminded me of my heart. He retreated into his house, slamming the door behind him. 

“Being upset is not an excuse to be a dick.”  Her comment brought me back to the present.  “And it scares me that you think it does” she continued. I wasn’t going to tell her that it scared me too. I also wasn’t going to tell her, or anyone else, about his more violent reactions. I just kept telling myself that those responses were not directed toward me. 

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I love him, we are together, and that’s all I have to say.” She turned her blue Chevy into the parking lot of Apartment Hall D, which was where I would be living for the next year. I could see the whites of her knuckles as she gripped the steering wheel, readying herself for another round. Before she could start again, I asked.  “Can we just unpack the car please?”

Her glaring eyes and stiff posture showed how hard it was for her to drop the topic, but she ended up shaking her head, parking the truck, and opening the car door.

—

Nesta and I climbed the three flights of stairs to apartment 304, and I wondered if there was roof access.

“Feyre the key,” Nesta’s labored breath and arms full of boxes, had me reaching into my purse and digging for my keys. Finally finding them and feeling a glare on the back of my neck, I opened the door to my new home. 

Walking into the open concept apartment, I was very happy over my decision to not live in a dorm. The only reason I could afford this was because of my scholarship, but I wanted space to paint and I wanted Tamlin to have the ability to visit whenever he wanted. The kitchen was directly to the left of the door, with yellow cabinets, a large oven and fridge, and a large white granite island. The apartment was furnished, so the room beyond the kitchen had a medium sized couch with blue cushions with a navy armchair next to it. Both the couch and chair were facing a white wall where a wooden TV stand sat, which was empty if the occupants couldn’t afford one. This occupant could not. Past the living area, a glass door led out to a small deck that had a view of the whole campus. I pushed open the door and felt the morning breeze hit my face. The sun was rising and the light reflected off all the windows, which ate every shadow in sight. The University was almost golden. 

Reluctantly I tore myself from the beautiful sight.

Turning back I went looking for my bedroom. A small laundry room and pantry directly next to the kitchen. A small hallway showed three more doors, two on the far side and one on the closest side. One was an empty bed room, with a spacious closet, a bed frame with a mattress, a small dresser, and a worn wooden desk and chair in the corner. The room was small and the furniture was old, but the view from the window was worth it. It was the opposite side from the deck, so I was looking out onto the city of Velaris. The ocean was visible and so were the mountains that surrounded the north side of the city. The morning sun was illuminating the water making it sparkle, and I knew that I would live in a shoe if it had this view. 

My randomly assigned roommate was no where to be seen, but the next room was already filled to the brink with clothing, makeup, and jewelry. I was excited to hopefully have a friend I could borrow some clothes from, even though half of it I could never pull off. Nesta, however, took one look at the dresser, which was overflowing with lingerie, and scoffed. Her scoff was covering the embarrassed look and blush now covering her face. I had to hide my snort with a cough. My sister being uncomfortable was very rare, so the fact that underwear is what caused it was fucking hilarious. I immediately got out my phone and sent a text to Tam. 

NESTA IS SCARED OF UNDERWEAR!!

haha mens or womens?

Apparently women’s

knew she had to be afraid of something

maybe you should change your wardrobe to just underwear just to make her uncomfortable 

i would fully support that

Pig lol

I smiled at my phone, at the semblance of normalcy between us. 

I glanced into the small bathroom across the hall. There was a shower, toilet, and a nice double sink. One half of said sink was covered by perfumes, curling irons, and other hair products. The colors were so vivid and varied that they stood out from the dull white bathroom, like paint splatter on a white canvas. 

After our tour of the apartment, my sister was silent as we carried up bags and boxes from the bed of her truck to my room. After everything was pilled into my small room, and a box of kitchen supplies was left sitting on the island, Nesta made a gesture for me to follow her back downstairs. She lived in a small single bedroom apartment across campus. She had told me that she needed her own space as a third year, so we couldn’t save money and just live together. I didn’t humor myself into thinking that her answer wasn’t utter bullshit.

When we stepped out of the building and into the warm day, I found myself saying, “Thank you… for driving me and helping me bring up all my stuff.” 

As she was climbing back into her truck, she hesitated. The hard look she pinned me with over her shoulder, had me bracing for the impact of her inevitable words. 

“Don’t come crying to me Feyre when he finally does something that being upset doesn’t excuse.” 

Nesta always was the worst at goodbyes. 

—

Even though classes didn’t start for another 3 days, I started unpacking my art supplies and organizing them into my desk drawers. I had only just started when I heard the front door open. 

“Dude I can’t believe you got a rando.” The low voice was scratchy, sexy, and loud enough to hear, even with my door closed. 

“I’m getting bored with you guys, so I need new friends.” I heard at least 3 different sets of laughter, all of them male. The female, who was my new roommate, had such a soft song like voice and I knew she was probably beautiful. I suddenly became self conscious of myself with my brown hair tied back in a low bun and no makeup on.

“What if she’s insane?”

“What if she doesn’t like you?”

“What if she doesn’t like us?”

“Can all of you guys just shut up?”

The bickering continued until my roommate must have seen one of my boxes, because then she started to kick them out. 

“Get out. Get out!” Laughing started and ended abruptly with the slamming of the door. I heard the door open once more. 

“Mor you know we are just screwing with you. I really do want you to have a friend here, especially after everything that happened last year. Bring her over at some point so we can meet her. Love you cuz.” I had never thought a voice could be beautiful, but that was the only word the would do it justice. That voice would haunt my dreams. 

I tried to forget the voice and focus on meeting my new roommate. 

A small knock had me jumping up and running across the room. As I was reaching to open the door, it was opened for me and hit me in the face. 

“Shit,” I huffed as I stumbled back holding my nose. 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry.” I uncovered my hands to look at the girl who had just nailed me in the face. She was gorgeous. Her long golden hair was in loose ringlets, striking against her perfectly tanned skin. She was wearing a skin-tight red tank top with a very low v-neck paired with leather pants. Her eyes were big, brown, and beautiful, which matched the rest of her symmetrical face and gold jewelry adorned her neck, ears, and fingers. 

“Well you’re hot,” I breathed. Her responding smile was so genuine I was sure that anyone who saw it would have to smile too. 

She stood straight, hands on her hips, and asked, “How hard did I hit you?” I laughed at her response, because there was so no way she was oblivious to her attractiveness. 

I finally stood up, the pain in my face fading, and extended my hand to her. 

“My name is Feyre. It’s really nice to meet you.” Her soft manicured hand felt near fragile in my paint stained and blistered one. 

“I’m Morrigan, but everyone calls me Mor. I’m gonna guess that you’re an art major?” She sent a pointed look toward my mountain of art supplies. 

“Good guess. What about you?”

“I’m a second year phycology major. So be honest, how is your face?”

I laughed and shook my head. “It’s fine. I think I was shocked more than actually hurt.”

“I swear that will be the only time I physically hurt you. I’ve been told that I get on people’s nerves, so I can’t say anything about the your sanity.” We had only known each other for a couple of minutes, but I knew that I liked this girl. This was the type of girl I never got to be friends with growing up. For many many reasons.  

She continued, “My friends will literally die when they hear this story.” 

“Well if our relationship works out than it’ll also be a great story to tell the grandkids,” I said trying not to think of her cousins voice at the mention of her friends. 

“Ha ha very funny. Actually we were all going out to—” She was cut off by my phone. I apologized and turned toward the sounds and found it lying on my bed. 

Incoming Call from Tamlin

I looked at her with a cringe and explained, “It’s my boyfriend. I have nothing going on tomorrow. Would you maybe want to…”  Her growing smile had me continuing. “Hang out with me?” 

“Yes yes! I can show you around campus, the best shops in Velaris, and introduce you to my friends.” My face was hurting from my own smile. I nodded at her and my phone stopped going off. Even the fight I knew that would be inevitable from me not answering his phone call, wasn’t enough to stop me from smiling at my new roommate. 

She turned and headed toward the door, but turned back before going through it. 

“I’m really excited for tomorrow,” she said with a curt nod. Then she was out the door before I could return the sentiment. 

I picked up my phone to redial my boyfriends number, but Mor poked her head in again. 

“Oh and I think you’re hot too.” With a wink she was gone. I laughed out loud and all of a sudden I felt ready for the incoming year, because I now had a friend to help me through it. 

—

After all of my research on Velaris, I came to one final conclusion: the nights were supposedly epic. And in the wake of a day spent unpacking, I was ready to see it for myself. 

While I was tired from my non-fight with Tamlin, I also found myself restless. The whole conversation was Tam forcing himself to not be mad and instead just making our talk draining and fake. I finally told him that I needed to go and get some books for school so I could get off the phone. 

Things would get better. 

I forced the phone call out of my head and focused on something exciting and new. 

Mor was gone before I could ask about the roof access in the building, but I decided to go and find out for myself. I walked into the stairwell and headed up. This building had ten floors, so I was breathless when I finally reached the top. An unmarked door came into my view and as I pushed it open a rush of fresh air filled my lungs. 

The roof was bare, except for an air unit, two beach chairs, and a railing around the edge, but I found myself not looking at the roof at all. 

The sky was incredible. The stars were brighter than I had ever seen, and the city was alive in front of me. I instantly found myself at the railing. The apartment building was on the edge of campus, so from one side all you could see was the school, but on the other side the city and ocean was the only thing in view. I couldn’t peel my eyes from the sight. 

People were laughing and strolling through the cobblestone streets and lights of all different colors were coming out of windows and doors throughout the city. 

The city was alive. 

Throughout my life I had never felt at home or even wanting to be part of one, but I had this feeling that Velaris was made for me. Or maybe I was made for it. 

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” I jumped at the voice behind me. I somehow lost my footing and my feet flew forward. I landed on my butt with a thud.

“Holy fuck! You scared the shit out of me.” I started to turn toward the stranger while on the ground, ready to be livid. My heartbeat increased to unhealthy levels as my eyes met ones of violet. The man in front of me was something forged from my dreams. His black hair was made of the night sky above us and his chiseled features looked carved out of stone. He was wearing blue jeans and a grey crewneck, which seemed plain, but nothing on this man could ever be plain. While I couldn’t see his body, I knew that he was fit, he filled out his jeans like they were tailored for him. 

He had slowly moved forward, like he was going toward a cornered animal, and when he was directly in front of me, he held a hand out to help me up. The laughter in his eyes and the smirk on his face took my focus away from his attractiveness and kick started my anger again. 

“Don’t look so upset love, most girls fall head over heels for me.” 

“Are you sure they aren’t falling while trying to run away?” His eyes lit up in challenge, but I dismissed him by jumping up and turning toward the city again. 

He did not get the message and I felt him lounging on the rail next to me. I glanced to my left and he wasn’t staring toward the ocean, he was staring at me. 

“Could you stop that,” I snapped. It was apparently the wrong thing to say. His eyes shone brighter than the stars above us. 

“What is your name love?” 

I put my elbows on the rail and leaned forward as I sighed out, “Feyre.”

“And why are you up here all alone Feyre?” 

“That kinda sounded a little creepy.”

His laugh filled my soul and I smiled slightly. “I’ve never been called creepy.”

“And what do people usually call you?” 

“Sexy, amazing, smart, endowed—”

“You’re certainly full of yourself,” I cut him off. 

An ocean kissed wind blew my hair backwards. Closing my eyes, I breathed in the salty air. We fell into a comfortable silence. I’m not sure how long we stood there, watching the city from afar.  I was unsure why I felt so safe, standing on a roof with a complete stranger. 

My phone buzzed in my pocket. Pulling it out, I saw that I had a message from Tamlin.

i’m sorry for earlier baby. i love you and ill talk to you in the morning.

His apology made me think I was doing something wrong. I started to retreat and walk backwards toward the roof door. Purple eyes followed my movements with an unreadable expression. 

“Are you running from me Feyre.” The smirk was gone and I felt a pang in my gut.

“No. It’s just getting late and I should probably get back downstairs.”

“I can walk you—”

“No!” I realized how loud it came out when his mouth turned downwards. “I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around…” 

Oh my god I never asked his name. I grimaced, and inwardly smacked my palm on my forehead. I looked to him for assistance. He made long strides until he was inches from me, my back hitting the door. It was then I realized just how tall this man was, I was almost looking straight up.

“Rhysand,” was all he said. 

“Okay nice to meet you. I have to go. Not that I’m scared. Or nervous.” Cringing as I rambled, I felt behind me for the door handle. When I found it, I pulled it. This backfired on me by pushing me forward into Rhysand. 

Chest to chest, I hoped he couldn’t feel my heart beating. His breath caressed my cheek, I couldn’t help but shutter. Seeing his eyes widen and flash with desire, I awkwardly squeaked out a goodbye and all but sprinted down the stairs. 

I didn’t stop running until I got to my apartment and then into my own room. I fell down onto the bed ready for this whole night to be over. I answered Tamlin’s text with a simple I love you, turned my phone off, and then I threw it on the ground. 

You did nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong. 

I found myself repeating the sentence over and over again. I knew I had done nothing wrong, but I couldn’t help the feeling that I did. Moving to the ground, I sat below my window, opening it slightly, letting the sounds of the ocean lull me to sleep. The only thing calming enough to do so. That and the name of the man who I couldn’t stop thinking about. 

Rhysand 

Thanks for reading!!! xoxo

[the-suriel-deserved-better]

Thoughts while reading Acowar.

Mind the swearing and spoilers kids. -2 years before the wall? Wait is this like a baby bat Rhys POV? -oh God this field isn't a nice place. Kinda like it tho. - omfg 6 High Fae... 6, to defeat one Illyrian... damn. - Rhys is so protective if his brothers it's killing me. -AGH PART ONE HERE I FUCKING COME. -Yes Feyre, burn this shit. -Already thinking about that wingspan Feyre? Can't blame ya. - Ugh Tamlin no can you not enter this moment just yet. Ugh Lucian I'm fucking watching you. -Oh for Fuck sake I gotta read about Ianthe soon to? -ugh I just want some smut and it's only page nine. -Feyre you can roll your eyes. God knows I am. - Oh hey Ianthe, go Fuck yourself Ianthe. -You definitely revived something from Rhys hands Feyre, but it was far more pleasurable than torture. -Lucian I won't ship you and Elaine. But please, for the love of God, kill Ianthe. -Oh hell fucking ni, Jurian, go fucking Fuck yourself and stay the Fuck away. -Oh snap, Nesta and Elaine already so powerful they can drain the cauldron. -Oh snap, Feyre laying down these facts. Also that's how I spell Miryaim's name. -Feyre you savage. -Jurian, talk about Elaine like that again and I will kill you. -Oh Fuck off Ianthe, I've read enough of you. -Okay Lucian, my heart is softening towards you. -God I missed you Alis. -Damn summer solstice is giving me goosebumps. -Rhys you are giving me life. -Uh Oh, Tamlin's getting jealous of friendship. -YOU FUCKING BURNED THEIR WINGS. -Ahhh Feyre you also cringing about Elaine being fucked by a fire blooded male?? Let me introduce to Azriel. He's far better in my opinion. -All these painting titles... we're they like, working title for Acowar. -Rhysand you get that tongue to work. -Also Tam you prick. -TAMLIN YOU MOTHERFUCKING PRICK HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A WHIPPING. -God Alis, my bae. -Feyre slit her throat. -Yes Feyre Fuck this bitch up. -Oh these twins. Can you fucking not. - Go Lucian Go. -Bring on Part Two. -"He can get in line," Feyre getting a list of people who wanna kill her to rivals Aelins. -Oh for Fuck sake, everything was going so well, until Lucian's brothers showed up. -OMG CASSIAN YOU'RE BACK. -AZRIEL MY CUPCAKE. -"There's no such thing as a High Lady," bitch excuse me. -Cassian you melt my stone cold heart. -Mor my darling. -OMG IT'S HAPPENING, RHYS IS COMING. -Amren, boo. Hru? -Lucian being called a girl, I'm dying -AGH RHYS. -"Go find somewhere else to be," I know what that means. -The smut was worth it. -Oh I missed the banter of my baby bats. -And Rhys' swearing begins. -Cassian sunning his wings. I wonder if a certain Nesta sees. -Cassian trying to be chill around Nesta is my new aesthetic. -Nesta reads romance. Hell Yes. -"You come between a male and his mate, Nesta Archeron, and you're going to learn about the consequences the hard way." Trying to foreshadow something there Cassian? I Ship. -No is mentioning the sorrow and longing in Cassian eyes, Feyre, for the same reason no one mentioned it when Rhys looked at you all those months ago. -Reading about Elaine is painful. -I'm relating to Elaine and all those open curtains too much... shit. -Cassian you're to precious. -I missed the Amren/Cassian banter so much. -Shit Mor is getting pissed. -Feyre keeps calling Rhys mate and I'm feeling bad for the Australian readers. -"Because I can't stay away" well Fuck me if they ain't mates. -Nesta looking as Cassian like he's the only one in the room. -Damn right there was a reason Lucian wore a fox mask. -Idk what to write but the nessian at pg.203. gahhhhhhh. -"Surely Nesta wasn't anything he couldn't handle," omfg Feyre, it's hilarious of you to think that. -Feyre were you not there for Acomaf. He was very clearly, cocky then. -Library sex? I'm in. -oh, so no library sex. -To the Bone Carver we go. RIP. -Oh so, the Carver, and the Wearer are- I'd be shocked only I read that spoiler. -Oh so the Carver is a mirror type of perosn? What even is a mirror person? Is it his kink? -Oh Nesta having death powers. -Feyre constantly calling Rhys mate tho. -Tbh all I wanna know is who or what the carver appeared to Cassian. -Everyone in this book be complementing Rhys good taste. -Ah Az and Elaine be starting. Az be carrying his ship. -Poor Cassian. Nesta will come around, I promise, I read the spoiler. -YES AZRIEL SHOW HER THE GARDEN. I'VE READ THIS SPOILER PAGE SO MUCH AND NOW IT'S MINE. -You know, I wrote a fanfiction about Az and Elaine in a garden and her calling his scars pretty. They kissed in it. -"Azriel isn't the ravishing type," Rhys you should read the fanfic I wrote about him. He loves to ravish. -omg Cassian calming Nesta- ugh how many more pages until this kiss? -Az, sunning your wings for Elaine? How scandalous. -"Why not make them mates?" Feyre babe I'm asking the same question. -FEYRE YOU SHIP ELRIEL TOO? Oh sweetie I love you more than Cassian rn. -Rhysand, let Feyre play matchmaker. -I was about to bash Kier for insulting Az, but Az got this shit. -Oh not this fucking Eris bitch again. -Rhys the Fuck you playing at? -Okay, ngl I know Mor is gay but those Eris know? Ffs. -Okay everyone is fighting and I'm more intrigued than I should be. -D'as Nessian. -Double d'aw Elriel. -Pg.303 and back to sassy Az. -Sassy Az KS giving me life. -It was at page 306 that I realised I was in love with Az. -Nephelle's be giving me goosebumps. -Yes bathtub scent with Rhys. -Oh it's actually a massage scene? I'm in. -Feyre are you trying to start a war? Cassian flying with Nesta. Dammit who am I kidding I wanna see that. -Yes Az, help Elaine in the garden. I am sailing this ship. -Nesta watching Cassian lick his fingers and I'm like, now imagine that kissing elsewhere. -Nes? I ship. -Some shit happening in the library. -ohhhh so we finally reached the part where people wonder if Elaine is a seer. -Yes Feyre, put Elaine's riddles together. -Okay that scene was intense but Nessian at the end was calming. -"Amren on the hunt," a novel by sjm. -Damn Az, took you awhile but bravo, she's a seer. God it couldn't be any easier to love you. -Lucian I swear to God if you die, looking for this sixth queen, I will kill you. -Also where is my Suriel. -Shit Alis don't die. -oh FFS, look, "king" of Hybren, old buddy. If you'd kindly fuck off. Only it's late, I don't need these plot twists. -Look, "King," I'd pay good money to see you try and take Feyre. -Rhys if you could destroy my upcoming exams the way you did those ships, I'd be grateful. -pg.379, more smut, hell yes. -pg.381, Nesta all concerned. -The amount of sex feysand are having. That wingspan must be truly impress you Feyre darling. -So Cassian is terrible at complements. -Ah yes boys, bringing up that wingspan again. -This Nessian tho. -"she threatened to freeze my balls off," Kallias, Viviane, welcome to my heart. -I'm in love with Viviane. -God sake, Tamlin Fuck off. -Tamlin, let me tell you, Rhys and Feyre have fucked so much I'm sure he could recount every noise she is capable of making. -Fucking shut up Tamlin. -Eris if you'd kindly shut the Fuck up too, it'd be a pleasure. -Pg.438, Nesta, damn, *blows kisses.* -nvm of 439, Go Feyre. Slay. -Helion.... wait... look I can't go around loving all these people. It makes me look like I have a heart. -You know I'd be surprised at Lucian being a whole, some air of dawn court, but I already read that spoiler. -Okay mor is gay why is- you know what, never mind, I give up. -Oh. Oh Fuck. -lol, I'm so tired, whenever I hear the wall mentioned all I can think of is humpty dumpty. -"Don't even start," Nesta, sweetie, we've been shipping this since the last book. -Part three here I come. -btw this is still the same day for me. I've read up to part three in a few hours. It's two in the morning. Never underestimate a fangirl deprived of her smut. -Jurian just has to show up, doesn't he. -idk who I am to believe anymore. -I wanna say Fuck this shit I'm out. But I am so in. -So am I meant to trust Jurian or not. -Damn Tarquin. -Nessian will kill me quicker than these plot twists. -Ayyy more shut, god I love you Sarah. -Yes, the Suriel is coming into play bitches. I'd been surprised by what happens only I've seen this spoiler too. -Okay first thing first, Ianthe please Fuck off Secondly rip Suriel 2K17. -Cassian what happened. Nesta please. I know the ending and shit but tf happened. -Feyre be joining up these dots about which way Mor floats. -This, Varian, Amren thing, yeah I'd like another five books of it. -Awww, Az, you're to sweet and selfless. -I'm so tired IDK how to feel anymore. -Oh greatttt, Feyre got hit with an arrow. Any more plot twists. -Wait Tamlin? Fuck, ugh. -d'aw, Elaine kissed his cheek. -it's four in the morning. I have less than one hundred pages left. -Shit. -Fucking hell Elaine stab them bastard. -Also Nessian hell yes. -Also...wait what's happening. -Rhysand you fucking bastard it's five in the morning don't do this to me. I know you live god dammit don't fucking do this. -oh thank fuck that's all settled. -This book. These plot twists. These ships. It's all so heart wrenching and shit. -Wait is she flying over Velaris in her lingerie. -Fuck it's half five in the morning. I read this book in under 24 hours. I need to sleep. *hours later* -omfg I need to read this shit again. It was so good. The High Lords, the banter, the near death experiences. The romance. The sass. Sarah you queen. -if the at least the novellas don't have nessian or Elriel tho I may be tempted to cry. And that, my friends, is a snippet of the roller coaster if thoughts and emotions I went through. I was too tired to cry during it but my heart was successfully ripped out a few times.

[joan-watsonia]

ACOWAR Thoughts (Spoilers Ahead)

So I finally read ACOWAR as I had been waiting for my exams to finish first and I have quite a few thoughts on it. Firstly, I honestly hated the ending. I hate when authors kill a character and then immediately bring them back because they don't have the courage to deal with it. The only reason Rhysand's death even affected me is because of how I react during reading. The second I read the words "Rhys was dead" I put the book down and started sobbing. If I wasn't the kind of person who would do that, then Rhys' death wouldn't have affected me because she brought him back in the next chapter. Also the way she brought him back was ridiculous. No way would any of the High Lords have given their powers to bring Rhys back. They think that he is a monster and no one meeting would change five centuries of that. It was completely unbelievable and a cop out. Especially once they saw that there was a risk of them losing their powers. On that point, the fact that Rhys gained none of the other High Lord's power makes no sense and was clearly just SJM changing the rules because she couldn't let Rhys die. Honestly I could have lived with his resuscitation if it had been done differently. Like maybe he got Amren's immortal life force and then came back. I'm also really disappointed that Amren is alive because she is not going to be the same. Don't get me wrong I like her and Varian but I don't really like normal High Fae Amren. I wonder what her role will be in the Night Court in the future. Okay on to Nesta Archeron. I was really dissatisfied with her character. I was looking forward to Nesta learning to fight and becoming strong enough. I wanted her to go and end up leading the female Illyrian warriors and being a symbol of change to them. I hate that she just sat on her ass and glared at everyone. It really pissed me off because I expected more. I hope that in the next books she had a more active role in the Night Court. My next point has to do with the Archeron father. I hate that he had a redemptive arc. It felt so unnecessary to me like an attempt to make everyone seem good. The fact that he was able to convince a queen for an entire army? I didn't get how. Next order if business: Elain Archeron. I have nothing to say. I've never liked her character and this book didn't change that viewpoint. I don't want her with Lucien or Azriel because I frankly believe that they both deserve better. Lucien. Yes. I loved his character in this book so much. I loved how SJM tried to show him as more of a victim. I really liked the change we see in him. I also really hope it gets out that he is Helion's son so he can become High Lord one day. Now onto Tamlin. I found myself yelling a lot at this guy throughout the book. I get that he became good and became a spy for Prythian against Hybern and that he saved Rhys' life but I still don't like him. I recognise that he's not all bad but I still don't like his character. All those things that he said to Feyre at the Day Court sickened me. It was completely out of bounds and was disgusting to read. But I did really like how SJM showed a different side and that he isn't perfect but that doesn't make him evil. What honestly surprised me in this book was Julian. I did not expect him to turn out good and I really liked that. I liked how he wasn't an insane vengeful murderer. He was just a man who had done terrible things during a terrible time and who wanted to repent and apologise for his actions. I loved the interaction with Drakon and Miryam and I hope we see more of them and the rest of their people in the future. The highlight of the book for me was Feyre Archeron and her relationship with Rhys. I loved seeing Feyre finally come into her powers and become the High Lady we all knew she was capable of being. It was really beautiful to see her character development and I was so immensely proud of her when she was being cunning and sly and powerful. And of course her relationship and dynamic with Rhys was amazing. They truly are partners and equals and I love their love story. I liked seeing the different courts and their High Lords, it is something I look forward to seeing more of in the future. Loved Helion and his promiscuous ways he was absolutely hilarious. Loved how confused Feyre was about why Mor, Azriel and Cassian didn't accept his offer and go to bed with him. Oh and I loved LOVED Kallias' wife Varian. Their story was adorable and I laughed so much when Varian and Mor literally ran to each other. It was so cute and a really nice moment. Lastly, the reveal that Mor was gay broke my heart because of everything that she has had to go through. I really hope that she finds the courage to tell someone other than Feyre and that she is able to be herself in the next book. It makes her love for Velaris so much more understandable now that we know this. Overall, the book was good but not one of SJM's best. Still thoroughly enjoyed it though.

[moiraineswife]

Feycien Apocolyplse AU?

Feycien Apocalypse AU: Right I’m just going for your bog standard typical modern day zombie apocalypse a la the walking dead here okay, Feyre does not get to be an accidental necromancer this time. 

Okay so Feyre is separated from her sisters when the outbreak happens and is desperate to get back to their hometown and see if she can find them because she needs to know if they made it. She’s almost 100% certain that nothing, alive or dead, is going to get the better of Nesta Archeron, especially not if she’s also protecting Elain, but she has to know, she made a promise to her mother after all. 

Feyre gets through on her own pretty damn well. She’s intelligent, scrappy, practical as all heck and quickly discovers the best way of killing the damn things and avoiding them wherever possible. She’s looting a pharmacy on the way to where she’s going when she hears a disturbance at the supermarket she was planning to tackle next. 

Cautiously, she goes nextdoor to look and realises that several of the things have pinned down someone else. She should just sling her bag over her back and leave them to it, it’s making a very nice distraction for her but…Well she needs the food and other supplies so with a sigh she takes the things by surprise which gives the other person in the store the opportunity to take out the other half.  

Once they’re done they stand watching each other for a long time. Feyre studies him, about her age, maybe a few years older, long red hair coming out of the loose braid its in, tall, slim, missing an eye but the other pierces her with an intelligent glint. Panting he thanks her for her help and offers her some of the supplies he’s gathered as a thank you and a place to stay for the night. She’s wary of him but…she hasn’t really slept that well on her own without anyone to watch over her, waking at every slight noise and a proper place sounds good. She figures she can take him if it comes to it. 

They don’t swap names, she just grunts her assent to his plan and stomps out of the store. He trails after her then leads the way, prattling the whole while and getting two and three word answers out of Feyre if he’s lucky. He huffs a little about it and she snaps at him but he surprises her and just laughs as he leads her inside a veritable manor house, into the living room which looks like the place he’s been sleeping. 

He explains, briefly, that he used to live here with his father and brothers but that they’re dead now. There’s a cold, callousness in his voice that stops her from asking any more questions. She doesn’t need to know, doesn’t care, she’ll be leaving him in the morning. 

Lucien offers Feyre some hot food which she hasn’t had in a while and this teases a little more of her story out of her. She explains that she’s on her way north, heading back home to find her sisters. He raises an eyebrow at this but doesn’t question that, only points out that she’s going the wrong way, heading more northwest than anything else. Feyre curses, slumping back against the chair and groaning. Navigation has never been her strong point and unfortunately satnavs don’t work for long in the apocalypse. 

He studies her for a long time then asks her quietly if she’s been on her own since this thing started? Feyre scowls and tells him she was with a group for a little while, headed by someone called Tamlin…It didn’t work out. She’s been on her own since then. Lucien seems impressed by this. 

He thinks for a little while, drums his fingers on the table top, then says that he could come with her, if she wanted, keep her on the right path, watch her path. Feyre squints at him suspiciously, asks him why he’d want to leave this and come with her. He just smirks and flicks a peanut at her, “For your charming, ravishing company, obviously.” She scowls and chucks something decidedly heavier than a peanut at his head which he dodges, snickering. He sobers a little when he shrugs and tells her the only thing worth staying here for is the piano - and he can’t even play that without attracting an unwanted audience of the undead. (Feyre does not mirror his goofy grin at this hilarious joke) But he says, more seriously, that he can’t last much longer here. The hoards are getting worse and he’s running out of supplies…if he went with her he could watch her back, they could help each other stay alive in this mess…He doesn’t have much else to do, at this point he’s just surviving out of habit. 

Feyre considers…She’s been doing alright on her own but…the further north she goes the worse things get. It’d be nice to have someone to keep an eye on her…And point her in the right direction. After a long moment she agrees. He grins at her in an oddly endearing way and tells her that his name is Lucien. She introduces herself as Feyre and with that finishes her meal and stomps into the living room, dropping her bag unceremoniously in a corner, settling herself down on a pile of cushions and warning Lucien in a low snarl that if he robs her she’ll never rest until she’s hunted him down and fed him to the meanest, hungriest group of walkers she can find. Lucien chuckles and decides he likes her. 

THEN IT’S JUST TROPE TIME. (This is the #1 reason I love apocalypse aus they open up…a whole vista of beautiful trope potentials) please consider the following: 

1)- Definite sort-of-enemies to friends to lovers because like…within ten minutes of them starting their journey the next day they probably want to murder each other. Because oh my god you are the most annoying person I have ever clapped eyes on why the fuck did I save you? You are literally the dullest person I have ever met if the apocalypse doesn’t kill me you will, I’m going to die of sheer boredom. They spend at least two weeks constantly sniping at each other and at least three times are so distracted by their bickering they nearly get eaten. (Also please consider: bickering at the same time as fighting. They’re literally snarling at each other while they save each other’s lives it’s beautiful.) 

2)- Getting to know each other a little better and okay maybe you’re not that bad, you can make me laugh sometimes. I feel safe around you…I haven’t felt safe since this thing started but..I feel safe with you. 

 You’re not that dull, I suppose, you have moments of wit that make up for the 99% of time you spend grouchy. And you are quite good at keeping us alive, I’ll give you that, your stubborn spirit appeals to me. 

They tell each other more about their families. Lucien flippantly tells her that this apocalypse was the best thing that ever happened to him since it got rid of his father and his brothers who were all, by and large, awful. He sobers a little when he speaks of his mother, murmurs sadly that she would probably have liked Feyre if he met her. But that’s pointless. He hasn’t seen her in years - his father kept him away from her - and anyway, she’s probably dead now, so this it’s pointless. His voice is cold and emotionless but Feyre is sure she sees a tear glistening in his remaining eye before he turns away from her. She doesn’t push him on it. 

Feyre explains about her sisters, Elain’s garden, her sweet, strong determination, the way she just keeps going, adapating and growing whatever the world throws at her - just like her plants. She tells her about Nesta’s stubborn determination, her pride, her icy mask and the fact that so few people ever bother to take the time to see beneath to the roaring, raging, loving heart that lingers beneath. 

3)- We are in the middle of the apocalypse how is your hair still so shiny and gorgeous; why do I want to spend all my time running my fingers through it? 

Your smile is very pretty - you don’t do it much but when you do your eyes sparkle and that pert little nose of yours crinkles up. It’s endearing. Please smile more. 

4)- Feyre is a mean shot with a gun but most unfortunately guns are noisy. Lucien it turns out has a shockingly well developed skill with a hunting knife (and a very large collection of them too) she doesn’t ask about it but she does ask him to show her how to use them (and he asks how to use her pistol) and listen…Then we just get like…Highly Necessary Sexually Charged Touchy Feelyness. No, no you’re standing wrong, let me nudge your hips a little, correct your grip and I’m going to spend the entire time staring into your eyes in a very sexual way because what else is the point of this apocalypse!? 

5)- So many near kisses. Like 16 near kisses. They spend a lot of time very close together making sexy eye contact (idk why they just do) Definitely get squished into confined spaces together hiding from zombies and we need to be quiet but also wow your eyes are really pretty this close up. I can count your freckles. That’s neat. I’ve only just realised that you put yourself on the outside so that they’ll take you first if they find us and I don’t know how I never noticed how handsome you were before now and you keep telling me you don’t care but..I don’t believe you anymore. 

6)- PATCH UP HEAVEN. So much patch-up. So much fussy Lucien. So much stubborn Feyre. So much: ‘I can keep going, it’s not that bad.’ ‘Yes, it is, you can barely walk.’ ‘I’ll be fine, we’ll just take it slower for a little while.’ ‘No, we won’t, we’ll stop and rest.’ ‘No.’ ‘Yes.’ *Lots of glowering fierce, hard-headed eye contact is made  here along with a large dollop of sexual tension just because* *Feyre starts to irritably walk away and Lucien grabs her arm, holding her in place* Lucien (softly and with feeling) “Please, Feyre, just…Let me do this for you.” *Feyre melts* Feyre (softly and with feeling) “Okay.” 

Cue Lucien’s big, deft (indecently attractive, like what the fuck dude I’m trying to survive an apocalypse here how am I supposed to do that with this distraction!?) gentle hands carefully cleaning and binding up Feyre’s wounds while he tuts at her and tells her that she really ought to be more careful while she’s being his knight in shining armour and saving his life. Feyre tells him flatly that well in that case next time she’ll leave him to his own devices and make sure she looks after herself…but he knows her well enough to note the small smile tugging at her lips, the glint of humour in her eyes and he grins at her in that way that’s slowly undoing her day by day and making her vulnerable in a way that she knows is dangerous given their current circumstances but…she doesn’t care. 

7)- ‘I found chocolate.’ ‘You did not.’ ‘I did.’ ‘Gimme.’ ‘Ah, ah, ah don’t be greedy.’ ‘Give me the chocolate.’ ‘So demanding, Feyre, where are your manners?’ ‘They went out of the window when I spent four months in your company with no chocolate. Give.’ ‘Close your eyes.’ ‘You can’t be serious.’ ‘Oh come on, it’s not that hard.’ ‘We’re in the middle of an apocalypse, Lucien.’ ‘I promise you can open them again if we’re in imminent danger of getting eaten.’ ‘Lucien-’ ‘Go on, no chocolate if you don’t behave.’ ‘Lucien, I will stab you in your other eye and sit on your corpse as I eat your chocolate.’ ‘You wouldn’t, you’d miss me too much.’ ‘I wouldn’t bet on it.’ ‘Oh I would, your life would be painfully dull without me in it.’ *Feyre heaves a very long-suffering sigh* ‘If I close my eyes, you’ll give me some chocolate?’ ‘I will, I swear it.’ Feyre closes her eyes very irritably then opens them again a second later to find Lucien very comically pouting at her for her cheating. She laughs a little then closes her eyes again and keeps them closed. Lucien breaks off a tiny piece of chocolate and presses it to Feyre’s lips, pressing it gently into her mouth. Feyre moans and slumps against Lucien in ecstasy and he laughs and looks down at her like she’s everything he’s ever wanted in the world. Feyre squints at him curiously, noting the look, “What?” “Nothing,” Lucien blatantly lies, wrapping up the chocolate and putting it away. Feyre whines piteously and Lucien whaps her playfully on the nose ‘More later,’ he tells her, ‘Too much of a good thing, you’re already spoiled rotten having me around.’ Feyre sighs and bickering commences as they set off again. 

8)- Look, there isn’t a lot of decent central heating in the apocalypse you know, they have to stay warm somehow. They probably avoid it most of the way but one night it starts chucking it down with rain and they find some draughty, ramshackle shelter that they both shiver in and can’t get a fire going because of the rain. Lucien smirks a lot and makes about 12 inappropriate comments a minute but when Feyre reluctantly backs up against him the arm he wraps around her is gentle and solid and being held in his arms is…oddly comforting. When they wake up the next morning they linger just a little bit longer than they need to before they make themselves separate and start packing up. After that they start sleeping with one another every night. Because you know warmth. Just warmth!!! We feel nothing!!! we are entirely emotionless beings!!! No feelings!!! (how they manage to lie to themselves for as long as they do is beyond me tbh. They are transparent) 

9)- Dramatic Rescue Scenes in which Feyre gets swarmed and Lucien returns the favour and saves her life. It’s still raining (for The Aesthetic) and for the most part he’s been pretty laid back about this whole surviving thing - as though he’s just doing it by accident and so as to keep gracing her with the glory of his presence. She’s never really, truly pulled a lot of emotion out of him but she does then. There’s a fire burning in his remaining eye as he looks at her and realises that he might lose her and that that is not something he is in any way prepared to do. He cuts through the bodies around her like a hurricane until he reaches her and the sight of him panting slightly, gaze blazing, hair plastered to his skin, blood smeared on his skin makes her want to survive this thing because she this, the depth in his eyes, the devotion there, makes her want to paint him. 

It makes her want to kiss him too. So she does. She just grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him down to her because fuck it, she’s done just surviving through this thing. She wants to live again. And he makes her feel alive. 

Lucien has been wanting to kiss this ridiculous, stubborn, serious girl for like a solid month at this point and there’s all this adrenaline flying around and okay the short version is that he is Into This.  

They find the nearest empty, enclosed, reasonably safe place and then clothes are coming off and Lucien is dragging a box of condoms out of his bag looking entirely too pleased with himself while Feyre raises an eyebrow at him. He probably makes some ridiculous comment about there being no such thing about being too prepared which gets cut off with a groan because Feyre is tearing open the packet with her teeth and that ends that discussion. She pushes him back and straddles him growling at him when he slides a hand between her legs because foreplay takes too damn long and she wants him now. Lucien doesn’t argue with this. She rides him hard and fast and neither of them lasts long because, like, apocalypse, but when they’re done she just lies down on top of him and Lucien has a moment of gentlemanly impulse and tugs a blanket over the two of them. 

He probably kisses the top of her head and warns her not to do anything like that to him ever, ever again. He can’t do this without her, he can’t. She’s stubborn and she can be impossible sometimes and god knows she tries his patience and infuriates him and he knows she’s sneaking pieces of that chocolate when he’s not looking but he has gotten quite fond of her during their time together, and she’s not half bad in bed and…and he needs her. Okay? Feyre after mumbling a lot of sleepy promises about not getting herself nearly eaten right in front of him again has fallen asleep with her head against his shoulder. He huffs about her rudeness but he’s smiling when he kisses her head and pulls the blanket up a little higher. It feels safe to whisper into the quiet darkness that he loves her. 

10)- Lucien spends…quite some time pondering over how the heck to tell this girl that he loves her. It’s not a very easy thing to tell someone when the world hasn’t gone to hell and they’re not under threat of being eaten by violent cannibalistic walking corpses every two minutes but while that’s happening it does complicate things. He doesn’t even know if he should tell her. I mean, it’s not exactly a good idea getting too attached to someone under these conditions. And maybe she doesn’t feel the same way. Maybe she just needed a release that night…and this morning…and this afternoon…and when they stopped for a little while to wait out the rain in the evening…and while dinner cooked…and after they’d eaten. But, well, they’re living under very stressful conditions, he doesn’t blame her for needing that. And he wouldn’t blame her for not being in love with him either, I mean why would she? He goes around in circles for several days and eventually decides that he won’t tell her. He doesn’t need to. He gets to be with her for as long as this new world gives him…That’s enough. 

Feyre doesn’t make a very big song and dance about it when she tells him. They’ve stopped for the night and are wrapped under a single blanket, sitting side by side, eating dinner.  Lucien slips her another piece of chocolate (after teasing her with it for a very long time while she -_-) He laughs and gives it to her and then kisses her so he can taste it on her tongue. Then he kisses her nose just because he likes the way it always makes her blink at him like a startled puppy and that makes him laugh. 

She just looks at him fondly as he laughs then comfortably rests her head gently on his shoulder, lets him put his arm around her, and murmurs that she loves him. He goes completely still and stares down at her in utter astonishment and she stares up at him with equal confusion, “You didn’t know?” He just laughs again, longer and louder than he’s done since this mess started then he murmurs that he loves her too and kisses her, long and slow and deep. 

11)- They keep going, bickering, fucking, fighting, surviving, loving each other. Eventually, exhausted, they reach a refuge and decide to stop there for a little while, ask some questions, see if anyone has heard news of Feyre’s sisters. It’s been so long and things have gotten so bad. They don’t talk about it but Lucien knows she’s all but given up hope. They’re sitting in a quiet corner at breakfast, alone (they haven’t mingled much, Feyre hasn’t wanted to and Lucien hasn’t wanted to do much that isn’t be with her) Feyre is perched in Lucien’s lap when someone cries her name as they hurtle towards her. 

Lucien continues to tell her years later that his liver was permanently relocated due the elbow she rammed into it pushing herself to her feet so she could embrace her middle sister as she hugged her. The eldest waited behind them, watching and briefly hugged Feyre too once Elain had finished embracing her and babbling at her and fussing over her, looked Lucien over and nodded to him once before she turned her attention back to her sisters.  

Nesta, it transpired, along with Elain’s help, had helped start the refuge when the outbreak started. She recognised that people would need somewhere safe, somewhere organised and sheltered where people could come together and help weather the storm that was blowing. It started out small but they have more than 600 people here now. She talks about it as though it’s nothing, of little consequences, but Feyre knows better, knows that she’s proud of this, as she should be. 

The sisters show Feyre around, explaining how things work. Nesta took charge with that way of hers and just got people sorted and told. She organised supply run crews, people to teach others basic self defence as well as first aid training. She personally deals with the logistics for all of their inventory and personnel. Elain was working part-time at the hospital and she gave them access to medicines and whatever doctors and nurses they could scrounge up to help them. Together they’ve made this somewhere safe and stable and they’ve saved a lot of lives through quiet strength and firm, steely resolve and determination. 

 At some point when they’re alone together Elain confesses a little tearfully that she..She had given up on her. She isn’t proud to admit it but she was so far away and things were so bad, hardly any new survivors were coming to them any more and…Elain breaks off, smiling at her, telling her she’s here now. She surprises Feyre by glancing up at where Nesta is drilling Lucien on first aid and he’s (to her obvious irritation) smugly doing everything he’s asked with ease, then murmuring that she never gave up. Nesta was always sure that she would make it here. She said Feyre was a survivor, and that she wouldn’t let a little thing like the end of the world stop her…She was right. 

(Bonus because this is my ridiculous zombie AU and I do what I want: a few weeks after Lucien and Feyre arrive and settle in, helping Elain and Nesta run the place, a ragged group of survivors make their way to the complex. They include a tall, pretty older woman with long red hair and eyes just like Lucien’s. She drops the neat little bundle of clothes and blankets she was given in utter shock as her youngest son sprints towards her and pulls her into his arms.) 

[a-fangirl-universe]

my ACOWAR review

Well where do I start I finished this book last night and I couldn't deal with it so I waited a bit before writing my review but here I am This book made me feel so many things (like all SJM books actually) and even if I'm still confused about some things overall I loved it so much !!!! It was a really good conclusion to this part of the story and I'm more than happy to know that there will be other books set in that world ACOMAF was much more a character driven book this one the plot and the action become a bit more important than the characters but for a final book it was needed So now spoilers time When we see Feyre again she's back at the Spring Court trying as hard as she can to undermine Hybern plan and to understand what part Tamlin will play in everything she tries as best as she can to start a rebellion inside the court so nobody wants to serve and trust Tamlin anymore. This part as shorter than I thought it will be but it really set the tone for the rest of the book. I admit than at the end of ACOMAF and even if Tamlin behavior was awful and disgusting I still had hope (until he sold them to Hybern) and when I began the book a part of me hoped that Tamlin had learn but he hadn't he still listen to Ianthe more than Feyre and he don't take time to understand what she needs he's basically the same as in the beginning of ACOMAF and I could try to "forgive" him once but not twice and I began to hope that he'll pay at the end. Ianthe is still the worst she's cruel and without knowing it she undermine Tamlin authority now he appears as cruel as she is and he puts Hyfern interests before his people one and more and more Faes in the court realize it. I grew attached to Lucien, he is the only one who seems to understand that what they did before Feyre ran away was bad and try to make up for it, he also has his reasons after all his mate is at the Night Court and he wants to see her again so he tries to be as nice as possible with Feyre I didn't expect what happened during Calamnai between Lucien and Ianthe, I was sure that Tamlin would be the one to participate. After doing all she could do to weakened Tamlin reign in his court she decided to go back home to Velars, before leaving she heard Ianthe and Lucien, she breaks Ianthe hand (that scene was badass) and she accept that Lucien go with her. Their journey through the different courts was useful to know a bit more about the world but also about Lucien background and his family. When Cassian and Azriel come to help them at Winter Court and the reaction of Feyre when she sees her friends was the first time I cried during this book, it was so good to see them together at last. One of the quote I remember is when she annonces to Lucien's brothers that she's his the High Lady of the Night Court and they're like there is no High Lady and Feyre in a very badass and Feyre way is like there is now this moment made me laugh and smile I was like "you go girl !" Finally Cassian and Azriel take back Feyre and Lucien at Velaris. The reunion between Feyre and Rhysand but also with Mor and Amren was one of my favorite scene in this book and in general scenes where we could acknowledge the friendship between the Inner Circle were ones of my favorite I love the dynamic between them all. We could see how much they care for each others and how much Cassian Azriel and Mor take seriously the fact that Feyre is their Hight Lady now. The relief of Feyre when she realize that her friends and her sisters are fine (or as fine as they could be after what they lived) was really touching because as a reader I was also relieved to know that they were all okay. Even if my heart broke a bit when I read about Elain state how she's not dealing well at all with the fact that she's now a Fae, how she wants to go back to her Human fiance and how protective Nesta is towards her. Speaking of the sisters, I wanted to talk about Nesta Elain and Feyre and how their relationship evolve during this book. It was one of the most interesting thing for me to see this 3 sisters who were never really closed learn to rely and trust each other. To see Nesta and Elain heal and change and accept the fact that they're now High Fae. Nesta and Feyre relationship and the friendship that grew between them was beautiful and really well made it wasn't forced or perfect they don't end up best friends right away they need time and it felt real. It's not because it's our family that we instantly love them sometimes we need time to accept that. At the end when Nesta thanks Feyre for everything she did when she was still human to keep them alive and when Elain protect her from Hybern and when they mourn their father we could see a friendship and the sisterly love between them and it was beautiful. The way the learn to rely on each other truly and the way the hold each other after they rescued Elain made me cry. The majority of this book was about preparing for the war and looking for allies, some were easy to convince over not so much we all see Feyre learn to fly and Nesta training with Amren. These two were something I didn't expect but they a lot alike at the end. The Carver scene when Feyre sees the Carver as her son was powerful, because their future depends on their victory against Hybern. The Carver is an interesting character and I knew when he mentioned Nesta that she was special. We also learn a lot more about Amren in this book, we learn why she's bound to this body. It's a character I always found interesting so knowing a bit more made me love her more. So they ask the Carver for help but also Mor's father in the Court of Nightmare, the meeting with him don't go as well as we could hope. Knowing that he could now see Velaris, where Mor had been so happy made me so sad for her and also a bit afraid, I don't trust him at all and I feared that something will go wrong with the bargain. Hybern attacked Velaris again and for me it was a turning point in the story, until now they search for help around them, tried to find a solution themselves but after that it changed. Lucien is willing to help them and go search the sixth queen that could help them and the attacks are not only on the Night Court anymore and they decide to organise a meeting with all the High Lords . The battle at the Summer Court made Tarquin kind of forgive them because in my opinion he realize that they need to work together, all the court in Prythian if they want to win against Hybern. The meeting part was something I really enjoyed reading, Rhys and Feyre appears as the High Lord and High Lady they are and they make quite an impression on everyone and Nesta is now officially a part of the Night Court and I loved that scene it made me really happy to see her being involve in everything. Knowing the others High Lords were so important, Kallias and Viviane were my favorite the moment that really made me laugh was when Viviana asked Kallias why she couldn't be a High Lady as well it was hilarious especially in the middle of such a serious meeting. This was also the moment when I started to really dislike and hate Tamlin until now he was a jerk but I still had hope after these scenes where he spends so many time insult Feyre and mock her and look at her with such loath just made me sick and he really tries to undermine the meeting by remembering how Rhys Amarantha during 50 years and things like that. At that moment I just wanted to fight him or to let the Inner Circle destroy him for what he did and said. But they still decided to help each other and fight together against Hybern even if some courts were less sure about that than other. Back at Velaris Feyre make another bargain with another monster/creature, Bryaxis who lives in the library. I guess it's Feyre thing to ask for help really old creature who are known to be cruel and almost nobody could speak to them The meeting with Graysen made me uneasy, he treats her like a monster like she's worth nothing and I look at her with disgust just because Jurian went to tell them. I don't know how to feel about him because he acted like a jerk most of times but he isn't a enemy at the end but is not trustful enough for me to like him. Then the fighting begin, I must admit I was a bit disappointed to not see Feyre fight more because even if she's not an Illyrian her magic is really powerful and she could have help a great deal I think. Because we're from Feyre point of view, the fighting left us some part when we focus more on some characters, it's during the fighting that they're a real change in Nesta's behavior towards Cassian, she fix him when he's hurt and she seems worried a lot for him. Of course Feyre is worried about Rhys and she feels a bit powerless so she search for the Suriel (which is now her best friend for me like she went to see him so many times) because she needs his help. I don't know why I always liked the Suriel he didn't seems that mean so when Ianthe killed him I really cried, I didn't want him to die and it gave me one more reason to hate Ianthe. Of course because she's Feyre she sneak out without telling anyone and even if Rhys don't say anything about it because she don't need his approval Mor is angry and it was the first time I saw Mor really angry and their fight was heartbreaking. So because Nesta and Amren manage to find the location of the Cauldron, Hybern has been able to locate them also and he kidnapped Elain. The last chapters kept me at the edge of my seat so this scene were one during which I could have stop breathing. It's during the rescue mission that my feelings towards Tamlin became much more confused, until now he was this selfish High Lord I despised for what he did to Feyre, then when Azriel and Feyre were ready to escape Hybern camp with Elain, they're attack by the soldier and it's at that moment that Tamlin came to help them by fighting with the soldiers. I know it doesn't make what I did before okay but at that moment I thought that maybe the Tamlin I loved in ACOTAR was back or at least a part of him. Another part I loved in this book and I was really touched by it is when Mor and Feyre discuss and Mor confess that she's lesbian, I admit I didn't expect that at all but I liked that revelation, the story of why she didn't tell anyone until now was really sad in a way but seeing Feyre support her friend was beautiful. The final battle begin soon after, all the court fight together and Humans and the sixth queen that Feyre's father went to see !!!! And he bring an army to help them with 3 ships he named after his daughters and again I cried. The kiss between Nesta and Cassian was so beautiful it really was so cute and full of love. We saw Amren real form and this was epic, she knew she would forget her friends but she was willing to do it if it means saving them all. The Cauldron was destroy by that and Feyre with Rhys help try to remade it but it didn't go as well as predicted, the Cauldron was rebuild fine but Rhys died and I began to bawl and cry and sob at 1 AM in my room without being able to stop. I feared that a member of the Inner Circle would die but I didn't want to acknowledge the possibility of Rhys dying. So after crying I kept reading and hopefully it ended well and again Tamlin surprised me, the High Lord decided to try to save Rhys by using all of their magic and I don't know what changed for Tamlin maybe seeing Feyre so desperate (because in his own twisted way he love her even if he did the wrong thing several times for me he never wanted to hurt her deliberately) and he told her to be happy. I could never love Tamlin the way I loved him in ACOTAR too much happened but at least after that I didn't want him to suffer anymore or at least not forever because I think he need to heal after everything happened like all of them. So Rhys is alive after all and they renegotiated the Treaty so it could be fairer. Finally they went home, Nesta was still a bit socked by everything it happened and killing the king and using her magic and she like all of them need time. Knowing that Amren didn't disappear but she's now only a High Fae made me happy I would have miss her if she left. The only thing that I loved a bit less than the rest was the fact that Rhys approve everything that Feyre did or said without question, I love their couple and all but I wish there would be a bit more conflict or at least debate between them that's all But overall it was one of my favorite book and I loved every single seconds I spend reading it and I'm really glad that there will be other books because I'm not ready at all to say goodbye to these characters or to this world And sorry for the long review I had a lot of feelings towards this story.

[emthinks]

A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas

No. No. What? No.

I don’t have thoughts. I do not comprehend. Give me a few moments (days, weeks) to gather the broken pieces of my brain. I shall be back.

Fair warning: Someone told me ACoMaF is like wrapping you in a warm, fluffy blanket and not letting go while EoS is stabbing you a thousand times with needles. I’d like to point out right now that that statement is false. ACoMaF can be a warm fuzzy blanket at first, sure, but one that slowly falls apart so just when you think you’re safe and okay, it freezes your ass off because it can’t protect you any longer. It betrays you.

Rating: 9.8/10

My Notes (as condensed from my iPad):

I start off and my first thought is: “wtf is going on?” Like, there’s a wedding? Feyre/Tamlin right? No. No. Like, five pages in and I’m reading about dresses and parties and Feyre saying how she wishes she’d one day learn to love her role as the blushing bride and all I’m hearing is no. Because Feyre is not, under any circumstances, just a pretty bride or the helpless princess. She is a warrior among her own right and should be treated as such, damn it. Wtf happened in that time gap between the end of ACoTaR and the beginning of this book? What the fuck?

And she’s not allowed to help? At all?

“Feyre Cursebreaker”. Huh. That’s new.

“I was introduced and passed around” like a fucking toy? Hell no.

“Alone in my bedroom, I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I’d truly laughed.” Jfc. Is it just me or does it sound like Feyre might be in a little – just a little – pain? Huh, Tamlin? Tamlin, who doesn’t give two shits and who doesn’t wake up when Feyre is puking her guts out every night? Wow, what a wonderful and supportive fiancé you are Tamlin. Would really want to marry you

Also, is it just me or does the first part of this where Feyre is trapped read a lot like Just Ella? Anyone ever read that? It’s about after the happily ever after of Cinderella. Except it’s not much of a happily ever after. That’s how I felt. Like this was just a really shitty happily ever after.

Also, hey, after three months Rhys finally calls in the bargain. Right during Feyre’s wedding. Good. Because Feyre sounded like she was so done with this right now. Except she’s so deep in denial, it’s kind of side. Also, like, Tamlin just gave up so easily – he just threatened Rhys a bit and called it a day. Like, no. If you really love her – if you really want Feyre – you should be fighting a little harder for your bride-to-be.

Hey! Feyre gets to learn how to read and write. “Rhysand is the best, Rhysand is awesome.” That’s hilarious. Also, Feyre is learning Occlumency. I’m literally getting flashbacks to HBP and Snape’s lessons with Harry. Fun, right?

Yes, yes, yes! We finally rescue Feyre! Yay Mor! “Not safe. Not protected. Free.” Hell yeah you are!

The Court of Dreams vs. The Court of Nightmares. Oh I love that.

Okay, idk what that whole prison scene shit was but it sounded a lot like Azkaban. But worse. Because these prisoners have been here for a long time. Also, the Bone Carve scared the shit out of me. It better not come into play later – Feyre shared one too many secrets with that asshole.

The whole Weaver scene was absolutely insane. Like, I couldn’t flip the (metaphorical) pages on my iPad fast enough. Feyre needed to get out. (Fuck you Rhys and making her fetch a ring.) Feyre has to get out. Go, go, Feyre!

Wow, this scene with Elain and Nesta went real well, didn’t it? Nesta, wtf? I thought you were supposed to be on our side?

Also, the Feysand training is basically Rowaelin training. Fae mates are just merciless, aren’t they?

The Summer Court bit was fun. A nice break. I like Tarquin. Tarquin is our friend. Also, going down to get the Book, I knew shit was going to go to pieces. There’s no way they’d make it that easy for us. And guess what? I was right

Wow, the mortal queens are assholes. Willing to abandon the island to save the continent. Fuck them.

Also is it just me or did the sex scenes read like fanfics? I’m not complaining, per say, just finding it…odd. Very well-written fics, but…fics nonetheless. Basically, what I’m saying is that Sarah J Maas’s original stories read like my favorite fanfics/authors and you don’t understand how ecstatic I am about that.

Like that throne room scene in the Court of Nightmares? Literally the sexual tension was through the fucking roof. It got so heated. Was expecting they start banging right there in front of everyone.

I mean, so were the cabin scenes, I guess, but that throne room. JFC. Combustion. I was in public reading this on iBooks on my phone and I was like so worried people would take the words out of context. That would've been awkward

Starfall scene was wonderful and beautiful and fluffy and feels

Okay, that journey to the Illyrian camp could’ve gone a lot better. Like, I thought everything was okay, right? And then Feysand go into the mountains to train. And who shows up but Lucien? Like, still convinced Feyre is brainwashed and here to “rescue” her.

And if that wasn’t enough, basically immediately after, we get Rhysand super injured because some assholes just shot him with ash arrows? Like, no. It’s Hybern. Ofc. Fuck them.

Okay, love how whenever Feyre has a question/problem, she just goes and traps the Suriel

They’re mates! Yes! I knew it! Thanks Suriel!

Okay, Feyre, wtf? Why you running away into a secluded cabin? All Rhys wanted to do was protect you.

But lol, Mor telling Feyre to paint her eyes next to Amren’s so they can all judge the boys is great. I love it.

Finally, finally Feyre just accepts it. God, you’ve been family for ages already jfc just accept it and can we move on please?

Okay, Rhys talking about he was dreaming about Feyre for years, even when she was mortal, and how she was all that kept him sane Under the Mountain was just heartbreaking

THEY SHOWED THEM VELARIS AND THEN THEY WERE ATTACKED

I know the nice queen warned them not to trust the other queens, but seriously? Velaris?! The only beautiful thing left in this fucked up continent? You assholes

“So I won my wedding ring without even being asked if I wanted to marry you.” Wow. Figures it would go something like this.

So the whole “let's go destroy the Cauldron” part sounded sketchy from start to finish lbr, so I was just waiting for something to go wrong

I just didn't anticipate it to be that wrong

First Feyre puts the Books together. Which. Idiot

Then Jurian shows up. I'm not particularly sure his storyline (am still confused about his history) to tell us that he's just been sent here to distract us

And then they shoot Azriel. And all I'm thinking is “Fuck they WOULD target Azriel”

And so they can't do shit. The most powerful people ever, Feyre with all seven court lords’ powers, Rhysand as the most powerful High Lord, Cassian as a ridiculously powerful Illyrian, Mor who was auctioned off as a bride because of her power – none of them could live a god damned finger. And I was SO worried

And then fucking TAMLIN AND LUCIEN STEP THROUGH

NO

HELLS NO

I have to be reading this wrong. <Goes back to reread last line of last chapter> Fuck. No.

Fucking Tamlin is delusional and Lucien’s loyalties are ridiculous and you literally just let the dude who wants to destroy the whole world in through your backyard so it'll be easier for him to destroy your world, and all for what?

But noooo, we’re not done yet. The mortal queens show up

And we learn they've given up their whole world to be made immortal. Like, what?

And then we’re thoroughly fucked because  Feyre’s sisters get dragged in

We learn that the King of Hybern can use the Cauldron to turn mortals immortal. And Nesta and Elain are the test subjects

(Keep in mind that I am reading this whole ending, starting from like right before they reach the Cauldron, in line at lunch. In public. And I couldn't scream or flail and it was torture)

Cassian’s WINGS. Omg I almost forgot. Cass no. He'd rather have death than not be able to fly Cass NO

I almost lost it - would've started crying had I not been in public – when they made Elain go first.

Elain comes out Fae, which, yay? At least she’s not dead. And she's immortal now

Nesta goes down, kicking and screaming and cursing the King of Hybern. And that line – that line of “I knew something was different”, I nearly knocked into somebody in line before me because I was so worried it would say she was dead

But she wasn't. Thank the Cauldron. Actually, fuck the Cauldron

But we’re not done yet. Not even close.

Because Feyre starts to say she's willing to do anything – give up anything – to those she loves. To save her sister. And – oh no – a feeling of dread starts to build up…

Feyre fucking manages to convince everyone that she was indeed under Rhysand’s spell and she's in love with Tamlin again. Like, no Feyre.

And if that wasn't enough, fucking Feyre asks – asks – the King of Hybern to break their bond. NO NO NO. We just spent like five hundred pages trying to make the bond are you ducking kidding me?

It happens anyways. And we’re sobbing right alongside Feyre. As she returns to the Spring Court with Tamlin and Lucien

And then we get a Rhysand PoV. And we learn that LOL actually, the mating bond wasn't cleaved. Just the whole bargain one. And also, LOL, Feyre can now be a spy for us. And also, LOL, we got married last night. And also, LOL, I made her the High Lady of the Night Court so fuck y'all fuckers

Tbh, that one Rhysand PoV at the end was my saving grace. I don't think I foul would've been as soothing if we heard it just from Feyre. I needed to have known that Rhysand was on board too, that this was what we had to go with

I mean, I'm still not actually happy with the ending, but it's (spoiler alert: EoS) still one hell of a better ending than EoS. Fml #savefeyre

“When you spend so long trapped in the darkness, Lucien, you find that the darkness begins to stare back.” – Feyre Archeron

The Characters:

One thing that I really loved about this second book was that we really got to see how Feyre grew, as a character and as a person and how she learned to fight. Like in the beginning, she was so helpless – or, rather, she thought she was helpless and should just subject herself to Tamlin locking her up, but then she runs away and starts training with Rhysand and it gets so much better. But not immediately, because that would be unrealistic. Instead, Feyre slowly learns about her abilities and what she can do with the powers of all seven High Lords, and it’s a slow process. Especially in the beginning. She has no control – she’s just been made High Fae, so it’s understandable. But to read about the trials and error she undergoes, how she learns how to winnow and how she works on her water abilities in the Summer Court because she’s near Tarquin and how she finally gets over Tamlin (mostly) and shapeshifts and it’s great. It really is. Feyre has become a bamf and I can’t wait to see what she can do – what she will do – now that she’s an official spy in Tamlin’s Court. She’s no longer going to be held down, locked up. Not anymore. Not this High Fae Feyre. Not the High Lady of the Night Court. No, if you upset Feyre – if you get on her bad side – you better pray to whatever god or Cauldron you believe in that she leaves and piece of you behind when she’s finished. She can defend herself now, fight for her own rights, and I think that’s so important.

Rhysand is not an asshole. What do you know? Well, I never thought he was a complete asshole, even in ACoTaR, because he was just subjecting himself to Amarantha Under the Mountain to protect his people, after all. But then in ACoMaF, we learn just how far he’s willing to go for his people. To protect Velaris. And honestly, Velaris is like a fucking dream. It’s beautiful. Who wouldn’t want to protect this city? And we learn Rhys has sacrificed so much of himself for others, to make those he love happy, to make sure his friends weren’t Under the Mountain and even initially giving up on Feyre because he just wanted her to be happy, even though if it meant if he’d be suffering for all of eternity. Like, Rhys, when have you ever done something nice for yourself? You should. When this trilogy ends, you better treat yourself good. I mean it. That’s an order.  

Cassian is amazing. He’s so entertaining and fun and I love him. He’s like the jokester of the group. Except after hearing his backstory, you start to wonder why he’s the jokester. Why he’s so goddamned happy all the time and – more importantly – how? Like, Cassian’s childhood was shit. Azriel at least knew he was special and Rhys. I mean, with Rhys, everyone knew he was the child of the High Lord of the Night Court and thus his powers were through the roof, even if he was training with everyone else. But with Cassian. Oh poor Cassian. I felt so bad because Cassian was just a regular guy who just wanted to prove his worth but wasn’t allowed to and he had to go through so much and he deserves all the happiness he gets right now and and and his wings! I almost screamed when I read about his wings being burned off (or ripped?) and I can’t. He has to be fine. They have to be fine. They said an Illyrian warrior would rather die than not be able to fly, and I don’t know about you, but I can’t have Cassian dying on me. Nope. That’s not going to happen so you better buck up and get those wings fixed mister before I even get to ACoWaR.

Mor is Nehemia. But more badass. Like Nehemia fought with words and subtly, while Mor was in your face and you had to defend from that. Mor is great. I really wish Feyre had bonded with Mor more. (Wow, “Mor more”. That sounds weird even in my head while I’m writing it.)

Unlike Mor, I didn't know what to think of Amren for a while. She seemed okay. She's Rhys’ second in command so she had to be a good person, and capable. And then we learn more about her. About how she's not of this world – of how she's so fucking powerful, she's currently on a leash. (Rhys mentioned at one point to Feyre that if all else fails, he’ll find a way to unleash her powers on the world and kill himself first.) And she drinks blood. Which I did immediately think when Feyre saw her not eating, but I thought that would be too Twilight-esque. Apparently not. Still, she's not a vampire so I'm not particularly sure what she is. I want to know. I want to know what Amren really is, and I want to see her going full out and ravaging the King of Hybern. That would be a sight to behold.

Azriel is my kind of guy. He's silent but he's always present and he's so damn good at his job, it bothers him when he can't accomplish shit immediately. He's like always on call and he's just as capable as everyone else in the Inner Circle and it’s wonderful.,

Tarquin is freaking awesome. I really liked him. I didn’t think I would. But he was an idealist, a young High Lord, and he was like Rhysand. Except not as cunning. I think he would make a wonderful ally. And I think, if we just explain the situation to him, we could get him on our side, making him understand why we needed the Book. Also, side note, Tarquin sends giant rubies personally engraved as a sign of aggression. Like, sign me up please! Where can I get some of those?

Tamlin is a fucking bastard. There’s no nice way to put it. Tamlin is a bastard and I can’t believe I liked him before. Jfc. Did you have to ruin everything, Tamlin? Everything. He ruined literally everything. And for what? A woman who no longer loves you because you had locked her up, didn’t listen to her. A woman you didn’t treat as your equal. And you wonder why she wanted to escape so badly from you? Why she’s still secretly escaping? You are delusional and you are an idiot and I really hope you come back to us (because you’re hot) because otherwise, you’re going straight to hell, a grave right alongside the King of Hybern and Ianthe and Jurian.

Lucien is honestly not much better. Could be worse. Still doesn’t question Tamlin. Still doesn’t try to fight him. He knows Feyre is wasting away. He knows Tamlin is doing some dumbass shit. He knows. He has to know that Tamlin making that god damned bargain with the King of Hybern was the stupidest thing he could’ve ever done, but did I see him do anything? Nope. Just sobbing over a once-human mate. You’ll get what’s coming to you, Lucien, unless you convert too. I’m sorry, but I really have no pity for you. You’re not dumb, Lucien, nor blinded by love, like Tamlin can claim, so I don’t really understand why you aren’t protesting more – your protested more in ACoTaR when Tamlin wouldn’t tell you shit about the curse! Jfc Lucien I know you can do more, so I better see you step up your game, talk to Feyre, otherwise if she leaves you behind, I won’t protest.  

With Ianthe, I really should've seen it coming. Because she was just such a randomly introduce character whom we had no background for, unlike Lucien, so we couldn't even see if she was semi-decent and she's complying with Tamlin’s every wish and ignoring Feyre and dressing her up and not an actually friend. One thing I'm glad this book did is teach Feyre who actual friends are and what they'd do for each other. Aka. The Inner Circle and not Ianthe.

“The issue isn’t whether he loved you, it’s how much. Too much. Love can be a poison.” – Rhysand

The Ships:

Feysand (Feyre/Rhysand): Is beautiful. They’re mates. I knew it! I predicted it ever since Rhys’ eyes went wide Under the Mountain. That parting scene. And it’s everything and more that I could want from them. Really.

Azriel/Mor: Is the saddest relationship ever. I don’t mean sad like Tamlin/Feyre said (that’s just messed up) or sad like there’s no chemistry. I mean sad like why the fuck haven’t they fucked yet? Like, Azriel doesn’t think he’s good enough or something, and I guess Mor thinks the same, because of what she had to undergo as a powerful woman born in the Court of Nightmares. Like, no. Literally, “Azriel would likely love Mor until he was a whisper of darkness between the stars” should not be the best quote about your relationship. Please fix this. Please. Someone, anyone. Feyre? Rhysand? Amren? Cassian?

Nestian (Nesta/Cassian): it’s not just me, right? Like, this is an actual thing? I think they’re mates. I also think they’re going to tear each other apart before they admit that, but hey, it’s Nesta and Cassian. That wouldn’t be surprising at all.

Elucien (Elain/Lucien): These two are actually mates. And honestly, I think this could work out really well. Or really badly. Like, Elain is the one who was engaged to an anti-faerie guy, but Elain is also a lot nicer. A lot less strong-willed than Nesta. So as long as Lucien isn’t an ass – which, honestly, he seemed just shocked – we should all be good with this pair. They seem like they’ll be cute.

Tamlin/Feyre: Is someone seriously still questioning the shipping dilemna? There isn’t. Tamlin is an ass and it’s Feysand all the way and if you aren’t Feysand that’s some fucked up relationship you’re behind right there. I’m not about that shit, sorry not sorry.

“I was his and he was mine, and we were the beginning and middle and end. We were a song that had been sung from the very first ember of light in the world.” – Feyre Archeron

My Questions:

Just what are the limits of Feyre’s powers?

Like, she has the power of all seven courts, all seven High Lords. Does she have a limit? I want to see her go full out. The Cauldron was practically singing to her. She would tear the whole god damned world apart if she mastered all seven courts. And it would be glorious to watch her do so.

Wtf happened when Nesta went into the Cauldron?

Like, Feyre said that with Nesta (in comparison to Elain) it was different. Did Nesta get more powers? Was Nesta’s grudge against the King of Hybern going to come into play.

Wtf is Amren?

I really want to know what Amren is. To see the full extent of her powers. Because she will decimate her opponents, especially without whatever leash holding her back that Rhys casually mentioned that one time. I want to see her go to town on the King of Hybern. She better. It’s the least she can do, after everything her friends have gone through.

“No one was my master – but I might be master of everything if I wished. If I dared.” – Feyre Archeron

My hopes/predictions for the future:

I finally get what #savefeyre means

And I wholeheartedly agree

Yes, she’s a spy, but she’s also your mate Rhysand. Go and get her back god damn it.

Also, it might be stupid and naïve of me, but I’m still holding out hope that Tamlin joins them.

I have slightly higher hopes that Lucien will understand. Or at least work with them (Feyre, mostly) because his mate has been taken. But I think Lucien understands and can sympathize better with Feyre in general, so I have higher hopes that he’ll really join their forces and work with Rhysand and see that the Night Court isn’t just a bunch of assholes

Oh, that’s another thing I want to happen: people seeing the Night Court as it truly is – a split between the Court of Nightmares and the Court of Dreams. People being able to see – and appreciate – Velaris (fuck those mortal queens. Fuck those bitches to hell. I’m with you on that Feyre)

Although, the Court of Nightmares does exist still, so I really hope that after everything is said and done and the King of Hybern and fucking Ianthe, that bitch, and the mortal queens and Jurian and everyone is disposed and taken care of that we can go back with Mor and Cassian and Azriel and sack the god damned place. And return the wonderful treatment Mor received during her time as a female in that underground

Another thing: Amren. Amren and her power. I really want to see what the fuck she can do – what her limits are

And Nesta and Elain! I want them to fight alongside Feyre & co. That would be ideal. And drag along Lucien.

“To the stars who listen – and the dreams that are answered.” – Rhysand

[moiraineswife]

A character: Nesta

*cracks fingers* 

general opinion: fall in a holeand die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them!!! | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me| meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! |10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuffbest quality: Her will. 10/10 can conquer entire continents with a glower level will. It’s inspiring. Also how much she cares? Just because she can’t quite put that into words doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel it. (And her sisters are both 100% aware of it. Even Feyre ‘I can be a bit of a dense potato when it comes to people’ Archeron gets it: ‘“But know that deep down, she is grateful, and perhaps doesnot possess the ability to say so. Yet the feeling—the heart—is there.”’ *cries into handkerchief for six years* worst quality: U can be a smidge too pragmatic at times child, makes people think you’re like...the opposite of who you are. ship them with: Cassian. Because like. Obvious reasons. My two strong, stubborn fierce hearts. I love you both. (And I feel like they’d....bring out the best in each other too. And they’re like 99% confirmed mates which is fun) 

Mor. Mesta is life people, I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules.  brotp them with: Elain!!!!! Obvious reasons. FEYRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Feyre and Nesta’s dynamic is fuck off fascinating (and is something I am passionate about...as you will know if you have followed me for more than two minutes) 

Rhys, actually. People keep assuming these two are automatically going to clash in ACOWAR but I’m not as certain. (I’m not saying that it’s not possible/even probable) but...the “That was why you painted the night sky” scene exists and I actually think...these two are more similar than people might realise. 

Lucien: give me snarky bickering and continual ‘everyone thinks we’re literally on the verge of murdering each other but we’re just fucking with them and it’s hilarious’  needs to stay away from: Tomas fucking Mandray -_- the negativity of small minded peoplemisc. thoughts: It’s time to voice some Unpopular Opinions. This is not what I think is going to happen in ACOWAR (we don’t do that over here, we suck at it) this is just....what I would prefer to happen even if it’s deeply unlikely. *clears throat. stages tiny drumroll for my underwhelming ‘going against fandom gradient’ thoughts* I don’t want Nesta to be trained as a badass warrior queen.

 That’s not who she is. That is never who she’s been. And I don’t want her story to just be a rehash of Feyre’s ACOMAF storyline but with different characters (Cass instead of Rhys for instance) I know, I know there are arguments for it, that she never helped before because she didn’t have Feyre’s physical skills and practical knowledge and in taking that from the Cauldron we can have some interestingness and growth and change and rebirth and blah blah blah. That’s fine. That’s probably what we’re going to get but..... 

I don’t know. I don’t like the idea for a start that a female character has to be able to physically fight someone/wield some kind of violent power for them to be ‘badass.’ And it just...I enjoy the dynamic between Feyre and Nesta, I enjoy the similarities but I also enjoy the differences and Nesta has always had other strengths. And I think it’s high time she’s allowed to actually put them to use and let them flourish. 

Feyre has used what she was given as a human to survive/grow since ACOTAR. It’s always been her practical abilities, her pragmatism, her logic, her determination, stubbornness and strength of will. She’s a survivor; she’s a fighter and she always has been. That’s Nesta’s stumbling block, it’s the biggest cause of friction between the two sisters: Feyre could do what Nesta couldn’t- in keeping them alive by hunting, she was demonstrating skills that Nesta didn’t and couldn’t attain for herself (and they both knew it) 

 The interesting thing about these two is that they really are two sides of the same coin. Nesta has Feyre’s same pragmatism, logic, determination, stubbornness and strength of will what she doesn’t have is her physical abilities. Nesta isn’t a fighter; Nesta is a tactician. Nesta uses her intelligence and her calculating mind to get ahead in the same way that Feyre uses her practical skills. (There are so many examples of this my favourite is still the one where she argues with the queens, and uses good solid logical and numbers to make her case for them helping) 

 (Consider for example: Nesta UtM; she would have struggled with the Middengard Wyrm task but on the other hand she’d probably never have had to face it since she’d have likely been able to answer Amarantha’s riddle in the way that Feyre just couldn’t) They’re so similar but so different at the same time (and since they patch each other’s weaknesses so well they’d be a fucking powerhouse if they decided to work together) 

I’d like this to come to the fore in ACOWAR. Because they’re at war. And more than warriors win wars - they need people like Nesta and I want her to be able to finally use that mind of hers, to find the value in the things that she has, the things she can do; not simply be jealous and bitter about the things that she can’t. 

Just like...please for the love of god give me strategist Nesta, okay. This was the girl who, in her early teenage years, had already devised a plan to see if she could force her father into action (maybe not...the best idea in the world since it sort of involved STARVING but she gets points for determination, ruthlessess and outside the box thinking) Nesta is good at this, Nesta is highly intelligent, she has a mind for figures, numbers and has already been shown to be able to consider large numbers of people in terms of logistics. “I have calculated the numbers.” JUST GIVE ME NESTA DOING WHAT NESTA ALREADY DOES OKAY. LET HER FIND VALUE IN WHAT SHE CAN DO. LET HER REALISE THAT SHE IS NOT A BURDEN, THAT SHE IS A GODDAMN ASSET THAT THEY NEED BECAUSE OF THAT BRAIN OF HERS LIKE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. 

And the nessian potential for this is literally off the charts okay? Like...Nesta studying Cassian’s maps, his troop movements, his battle plans...brow creasing she steps forwards and shifts a few things around then steps back and he just....stares at her like she’s the Mother herself come to ground because she’s just halved their march time and supply lines. Like...Battle!couple nessian is fun but scheming, tactical, battle planning nessian is even better tbh. And Cassian would listen to her okay and value her advice and her opinions in a way I’m pretty sure no other man ever has because nice little ladies don’t think about this stuff. EXCEPT NESTA DOES OKAY JUST GIVE IT TO ME. 

As a part shot, pls consider: “ I think I’d like to see what else is outthere, what a woman might do with a fortune and a good name.”No limits, I thought. There were no limits to what Nesta might do,what she might make of herself once she found a place to call her own. I prayedI would be lucky enough to someday see it.” 

Nesta is made to build, Nesta is made to rule, Nesta is made to plan and dream and rise. She can be so much more than another powerful fighter/warrio.. And I want it. I want it all. 

Right. Rant concluded. I talked too much. It happens. I’m not sorry.