#but it’s great experience and exactly what i want to practice so 🥲

[wyvernne]

i’m supposed to be mia on this acc so i can’t reblog stuff but holy shit is your recent diluc smut so damn good 😭🙏🫶

i missed your writing sm! hope you’re doing well and drinking enough water :)

thank you so much!!! i really appreciate it 🥲

i’m smack in the middle of finals so i am absolutely exhausted but i’ll be done soon‼️ and then ya girl is just one year away from a JD

[elmaestrostan]

I thought I couldn’t love Damià more! 🥰 Some highlights (nicked from the translation at Villa Talk):

What type of club is Aston Villa?

The great team from England's second city. Aston Villa has similar potential in England to a good Valencia or Atlético de Madrid in Spain. But here there are six teams at Real Madrid level in income. Aston Villa has a lot of history, a lot of fans, very loyal fans, and a reality that was hard for many years but that changed for the better with the new ownership with a promotion. With Unai Emery he has lived up to the most brilliant story and above the expectations of his fans.

Is Unai the hero of Birmingham?

More than that. It is already a legend. It's incredible how much people love him. Must be seen to be believed. He has broken all the records in the history of a club that is 150 years old. (🥹🥲)

Where is Emery's limit?

He has no limits because he does not put limits on his dreams and always finds the stimuli and the paths to make them come true. And his dream is to win the Champions League. He is going to give everything to achieve it.

It was said that with Emery you were starting from scratch. What restructuring have they done at Aston Villa?

Unai, he had clear ideas and after your experience at Arsenal, you knew what you needed. He is very analytical. He asked me to come with him to Aston Villa before signing and help him build the structure of the club, because the owner offered him full trust, he tasked him with generating a structure, not just coaching a team. We have been in the business for some time and we have known how to analyze and capture what we understood the club needed. Then Monchi joined, who is number one as a professional and as a person. I think it is difficult to find such an ideal work environment and have such a professional property capable of delegating precisely to professionals.

Monchi is 50% of Aston's success and the other 50 is Emery?

Monchi and Unai are two global phenomena. Having them is a privilege for anyone. But without involved owners, with judgment and respect, a club cannot function. Aston Villa has them. Without them neither Monchi nor Unai would be here.

What exactly is your job as Director of Football Operations?

-My role is general director of the football area and I work between Monchi and Unai, the three forming an executive football committee. Liaison with property, personnel management, contracts, travel, renewals, relations with referees, the Premier, negotiations with other clubs... But above all, Monchi and I make sure that there are never any excuses for anyone not to perform and that every worker feels involved, including the staff. Executives are there to execute what the technicians want and lubricate the organization so that everyone is aligned and without errors.

What is your day-to-day work?

From sunup to sundown and with constant conversations with Unai and Monchi and the property. We have adjoining offices and every day we are together for hours and hours analyzing every detail. The efficiency of an organization is based on decision-making based on common and seamless knowledge.

What remains of Vidagany the journalist?

I feel empathy for professionals, those who practice with passion, dignity and without malice or spurious interests. Journalism, in general, transmits and feeds the passion for clubs and that should be appreciated by the institutions.

What type of Aston Villa fans are?

The English public is very loyal, unconditional and emotional, but respectful. Villa's fans are among the largest in the country in number. We have found a dedicated and grateful fan. They have carried us away. Every game you pinch yourself because of the atmosphere.

With Pau Torres they form a large Spanish colony... do they all get together in celebrations or does everyone go their own way?

With Pau we speak Valencian and people laugh, they don't understand us. But we try to ensure that there are no differences by nationality. When we get together, we all get together: English, Scottish, Argentinian, Brazilian, French... we are a family.

Have you and your family adapted to life in Birmingham, a city of a million or so inhabitants?

No problem. We are privileged to be able to live this personal adventure that enriches and broadens our vision. My wife has left a great job, I value it very much, but she is happy and so are the children. That's the most important thing, although we obviously miss family and friends.

Do you have a contract like Emery until 2027?

Yeah.

Would you work for Valencia again?

Lim did not fit into his management. I have my present, my future, my head and my feeling with Aston Villa and always with Unai Emery.

[rainbowsky]

廿 | Nian | Stand Up

It's been months since I said I was going to write this post, but I just haven't been in the headspace for it. But we've all been missing DD lately, so what better time to pick this back up and remind everyone how utterly amazing he is?

STANDARD DISCLAIMER: The following represents my own personal perspective on and experience of this song, and also some of my theories and CPN. I don’t have any special insight on any of this, so this isn’t to be taken too seriously. If your opinion differs, that’s totally fine. We’re each going to inevitably experience things a bit differently.

I want to start out by saying how fucking much I love this man. There are no words. God I love DD so much. He is one of a kind.

I know all turtles feel the same.

And this song holds so much personal significance for me.

Last year when Rules of My World came out, I was so excited. A great song that I practically have memorized, even though I have no idea what specific words I'm singing 😅.

I told my sister at the time, "Next year, I want him to release something a bit slower - moody and anthemic. Something more intimate, with a lot of raw emotional power." I even went into a bit of detail about how the dance performance accompanying it could unfold. Something more along the lines of VOTF. Maybe not overtly sensual like VOTF, necessarily, but with a similar pace and vibe.

I had this sort of vision in my mind of what I was hoping to see from him next, and it so eerily matches Nian that when I first heard the teaser clip, my head almost exploded.

And the song came at just the right time for me. I had been dealing with a prolonged period of deep depression, grief and intense suicidality. An incredibly difficult time. And this song... it really impacted me. It fit the mood I was feeling, but it also had a lot of hope, defiance and strength to it. And to an uncanny degree, it was exactly what I had been wishing for all year.

The first time I heard it, I completely lost it. It was just so emotional for me to hear it at that particular time in my life. DD coming through with such a powerful, beautiful message, and musically it was perfectly suited. It set the right tone, and it highlights all my favorite aspects of his voice. The depth, the softness, the hidden power, the emotion.

Emotional contrast is my absolute favorite musical atmosphere. In fact, I'd say it's my favorite style of art in any genre or media. Bitter sweetness. Mournful hope. Joyful grief. Upbeat wistfulness. Optimistic, desolate yearning. The freedom and liberation that comes with having nothing left to lose. 🥲

This song aligns with all of that exceptionally well.

It conjures for me, people struggling to find their footing. People being beaten down, and getting back up again. The Joker dancing on the staircase, on the edge of madness and finding a sort of joy in it. A lonely person looking up into the night sky and finding entire worlds.

The Performance

His performance of the song on NYE was so powerful. DD was radiant, earnest and emotional. From the very beginning there was a “We are all lying in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars” (Oscar Wilde) feel to it.

Through the course of the song they seem to go through different phases - struggling and falling back, gaining their footing, falling in line and marching in unison, finding their own path, gathering energy, fighting and ultimately gaining power, strength and individuality. By the end of the performance they’ve all begun to move forward, support each other and reach for the sky - all led by DD, the clear inspiration.

The fact that this was such a compelling performance was not at all surprising, since it was another collaboration between DD and Franklin Yu, who choreographed this performance. He is consistently fantastic, and he’s done a lot of great work with DD in the past.

VOTF performance (co-choreographed with Chun Lin and JE)

ROMW NYE performance

League of Legends 2021 performance

Franklin Yu appeared on SDOC2 (I won’t tell you how he did in case you decide to watch that season at some point). He also seems to be closely connected with AC, which makes DD’s interactions with AC more interesting during their season. I like knowing DD has a lot of friends in that community.

The Cover and Graphics 

Just as with ROMW, I believe that GG did the graphics for this single. They have all the visual grace and sentimentality we see in GG’s other art. The style is very GG as well. Perhaps most telling, we didn’t see an artist credited for any of it. Not going to go into more detail than that, because I have a whole post about designer GG in my drafts that is being neglected. 😅

The Lyrics

廿 | Nian | Stand Up

A meteor streaks towards the end of the sky

A wisp of wind could understand

A glimmer of hope was preached for him

He wanted to rekindle the fire

Again and again, only ashes left before him

Looking for an exit, with wounds all over his body

Invisible ropes repeatedly tightening

Hands empty, unable to break free

How vast is the wind above three feet

Songs of sorrow have already sounded on all sides

Thousands of times - Stand up

Toward the sky - Stand up

Toward the end - Stand up

To the infinite future - Stand up

Keep going - Stand up

For the horizon - Stand up

For the warmth - Stand up

Also for the ordinary world - Stand up

Before a storm raged across the border

A beam of light penetrated the long night

For a moment he was no longer alone

On the turbulent path of chasing light

His eyes filled with brilliance along the way

Three thousand lights reflected the stars in the sky

Although far away, he came back with you

Thousands of times - Stand up

Toward the sky - Stand up

Toward the end - Stand up

To the infinite future - Stand up

Keep going - Stand up

For the horizon - Stand up

For warmth - Stand up

Also for the ordinary world - Stand up

Stand up

Echo every moment

Stand up

One thought for a lifetime

Stand up

Thousands of times - Stand up

Toward the sky - Stand up

Toward the end - Stand up

To the infinite future - Stand up

Keep going - Stand up

For the horizon - Stand up

For warmth - Stand up

Also for the ordinary world - Stand up

The song was produced by Marlin “Hookman” Bonds, a Grammy nominated American producer/songwriter who has worked with some big names like Jason Derulo, Chris Brown and Demi Levato.

The lyrics were written by Yin Yue, a Chinese lyricist, TV writer and producer who has worked in China and internationally. She has worked with Zhou Shen, Na Ying, Hua Chenyu and others we’ve all likely heard of.

But what does it mean?

It's impossible for any of us to really know what the song means to him, or what kind of message or attitude he was trying to convey by choosing this song. For all we know he could have wanted to send the opposite message from whatever we got from it. So instead of talking about what the song means to him, I'm going to talk about what it means to me and what it makes me think of with respect to him and his life.

When I think about everything DD went through last year, and everything he was involved in, and how deeply a lot of bigger external factors impacted his life in massive ways, and when I think about how emotional and rebellious his spirit is, this song just fits perfectly with what I wanted to see from him. Not just because of my own personal tastes, but also because of the type of sentiment that resonates with me given what I think would have been a very intense year for him.

His world has been shrinking in many ways, while simultaneously expanding. He’s being dealing with a lot of struggle and change. The split with Nike, the crackdown on the entertainment world, the situation with QF, leaving DDU, no longer having the ability to express himself as freely through fashion, major shifts in his career, major opportunities and what I suspect would be greater empowerment on many levels. The flooding in Henan and his charity work there, which put him in direct contact with ordinary people who are trying to endure a major disaster.

There were a lot of people in the industry who, for a variety of reasons, lost everything last year. Sometimes it was through their own terrible actions (but no less traumatic to witness) and sometimes it was through rationale that is hard to understand/accept, but I think every one of those incidents probably has an impact on other artists.

It reminds me of the game ‘Red Light, Green Light’, where you have to stand perfectly still as long as eyes are upon you, and can only move freely when the Gaze is averted. I have no doubt that climate, and watching those types of events take place, make all the ‘surviving’ artists that much more ‘carpe diem’ and that much more aware of how precious and fragile everything is.

I can feel all of these themes reflected within this song.

DD is a conscious, intelligent, strong-willed person who has a vision for what he wants from life. With this song I feel like we get a glimpse of how aware he is that a lot of what he wants will require struggle and perseverance. It’s something he’s used to by now, but I think the more pain he experiences and the more injustice and hardship he witnesses, the more resolved he is to fight to find strength and to encourage others to do the same.

I get the sense that GG and DD want to be a positive force while they have the spotlight on them, even if it means making some sacrifices.

This song is an inspiration. It’s an inspiration to a LOT of people. It’s a message that he can send out to everyone - in part because he’s in the spotlight, and in part despite the fact that he’s in the spotlight. He doesn’t have the luxury of being able to send direct encouragement, for example, to queer people. But he can give us this song. This song is for everyone who needs it.

Is the song about GG?

No one knows, of course, but based on my feelings/experience with the song, I don’t think GG is a central theme. I think it’s about GG insofar as GG is a big part of DD’s life, a big part of his inspiration in life, a big part of what helps him ‘stand up’ and face the world. But it’s not a love song penned for GG, I don’t think. People who like that CPN are free to continue enjoying it, but for me, this song is much bigger than GGDD’s relationship.

It’s also important to remember that DD isn’t listed in the writing credits for the song. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t involved in the creation of it*, but I don’t think it’s likely DD would write something really personal about GG with the help of an outside lyricist. At least, not without it being more overtly a love song. I think that if DD ever sings about GG publicly, we will know it immediately and completely. He won’t leave any room for doubt.

*I know that Hua Chenyu, for example, works closely with a songwriter for many of his songs, and is often not listed in the writing credits even though he has led and directed the entire process and laid out the themes and ideas he wants to cover.

My closing thoughts

This song means a lot to me. More than I can actually express here in this public forum. I think it will always hold a special place in my heart, because of how and when it came into my life, and how it made me feel. Because of what it helped get me through. Because of everything it showed of DD that I had been hoping to see. Because it’s just a beautiful message and an excellent song.

I hope that everyone reading can take the message to heart. No matter what’s happening, no matter how you’re feeling. We are living in difficult times, and most ordinary people are struggling in some way. I hope we can all have compassion and kindness for one another, and try to take inspiration from DD, to ‘be the change we wish to see in the world’. To stay strong and inspire others to do the same.

No one is going to just hand us self-actualization, personal agency and happiness. It’s something we’re all going to have to fight hard for. Start today and keep going, no matter how scary and difficult and painful it gets. ✊🏻

As that old Churchill geezer once said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

Or, to quote Victor Frankl, one of my absolute greatest heroes (one of my favorite quotes and one of my personal mantras):

“What is to give light must endure burning.”

If anyone is struggling, please reach out for help. Give others the gift of being able to make a difference to you. ❤️

[koqabear]

hi, i was the anon who ask for kai req and i really like it! i also have read your txt fics before and they were really great! the scenes and descriptions are well-written. you're really amazing in fantasy fics i hope i can also write like that 🥲 but im not really that good in action scenes. even tho i always told myself that i should write what i want. since no one's paying my fics and im not a pro writer, so they're not allowed to be demanding if ever im not good enough with it. i still cant help it but to get conscious with my writing. anyways sorry for being dramatic and sounds so insecured lol. i hope you write more fantasy fics for kai too bc i really like your other fics and i think they're really amazing. tysm for accepting my req and im really happy with it 🥰

Aww, thank you sooo much anon !! (This is kinda long I’m sorry I got carried away cries)

Trust me, I know exactly how you feel— my writing used to be…. Very… very bad. And while I don’t claim it to be perfect now, it’s definitely in a better place. All my experience that you don’t see was abandoned spontaneously on wattpad, and what you see today is years of practice and tweaking. (I used to write for many more fandoms..)

Personally, I also absolutely despise writing action scenes— which is ironic, considering that I mostly write thriller and fantasy stories… but one thing I found that helped me a lot was to keep reading! The more I read other people’s stories, the more I would find things that interested me— writing styles, word play, description words, etc. That way, I would find myself using the things I liked and incorporate it into my writing :)

And you’re absolutely right with your mindset on writing! What’s important is that you’re writing what you like and you’re finding ways to keep getting better! I’m really cheering you on anon, because it can be really hard to find an approach on how to write something difficult and meticulous. You might not see results and improvement immediately, but trust me, it’s there!

Thank you sm for your support, and yes, I do have more things planned for Huening! He’s so fun to write as a character, and I can’t wait to share my future works with you all! <3